#the most tentative of metas

[welcomingdisaster]

thinking about a discussion i saw this morning (please accept these very half developed ideas!) and i do think that part of the reason that the silmarillion fandom pays less attention to female characters (outside of misogyny, which is also a huge part of it) is that basically every single woman is a wife, and most of them are mothers?

i can't help but notice that the majority of popular male characters are unmarried and childless (looking at ao3 statistics, with the notable counter-examples of elrond, who is very often a child in fanfic, and feanor, arda's most divorced elf). which is possibly because many of the most influential male characters in the silmarillion are unmarried and childless, but it does feel a little disproportional.

some very disorganized thoughts on this phenomenon, presented with very little confidence because i'm just bouncing ideas around:

queer ships are far more popular in the fandom as it stands now, because it is heavily queer, and there is very little woman-to-woman interaction in the silm. the majority of the most popular m/m ships are based on some meaningful interaction between the characters. many of f/f ships involve characters that have never met (indis/miriel, finduilas/nienor) or have very limited interactions (thuringwethil/luthien). ------------ this does not explain, however, why m/m ships between people who have no interactions at at all (erestor/glorfindel, celebrimbor/maeglin, etc) routinely get more attention than f/f ships.

basically every woman's story is defined in relation to her husband's (and usually children). idril, i think, is the semi-outlier here (and to some extent aredhel). but even then -- the majority of the male characters, even if they are married, have a lot of story outside of their marriage/relationship (so much so that characters like finrod, fingon, and angrod can go from married with children to unmarried in some drafts have very little changed!). can that be said of any married female character in the text? i don't think so. once a woman in the silmarillion marries and has children, the progression of her story is almost always defined very heavily by her relationship to her husband and children. fingon rules the same and dies the same whether or not he has a wife and son -- idril's story would be very different without tuor and earendil. feanor gets to do a lot of things after his marriage to nerdanel -- fingolfin does very much after his marriage to anaire. both of the women disappear from the story once their marriages are no longer relevant. ---- here i will note that some male characters ARE heavily defined by their relationships to their families. turgon, whose motivations are very heavily based around the death of his wife and protecting his daughter, comes to mind. so does thingol, whose wife and daughter are equally central to his story. that said, neither of those characters is popular in fandom.

to expand on the previous point: characters whose main stories are romance stories, including male characters, do not tend to be very popular. earendil has just under 700 works on ao3. beren has just over 500. (elwing and luthien, for reference, have just over 700 and 800 respectively). despite our love for shipping, the fandom seems to be disinterested in parts of the book with a heavy romance focus. is it possible that the fact that nearly every single woman having a prominent romance arc "turns fandom off" them?

only four unmarried women come to mind as counter examples (watch me miss someone obvious). these are finduilas, haleth, findis, and lalwen. findis and lalwen are footnotes that disappear quickly from the story without being given much to do (which doesn't stop us with erestor or caranthir, but still). finduilas, despite being unmarried, is heavily defined by a tragic love triangle. haleth is the notable exception -- i would say she is more popular in fandom than many women, but less than most male characters. the only real explanations i can give for her getting so little fandom attention is misogyny/bias, the general fact that humans in the silmarillion get less love than elves in fandom, and and possibly her having little connection to any of the other popular characters outside of caranthir.

that being said, i do still think misogyny/the general fandom tendency to ignore female characters in favor of male ones is responsible for a good chunk of the difference. i also really welcome feedback on these thoughts because i feel very uncertain of them. the more i think about it, the more i can find counter-examples and outliers to a lot of the trends i'm talking about here -- perhaps i overgeneralized. is there no coherent analysis to be drawn here?

currently leaning in the direction of "this is a vague but not all-encompassing trend in the text, which affects fandom to some extent without explaining the preference for male characters and m/m ships entirely."

[trainsinanime]

I've seen a number of people worried and concerned about this language on Ao3s current "agree to these terms of service" page. The short version is:

Don't worry. This isn't anything bad. Checking that box just means you forgive them for being US American.

Long version: This text makes perfect sense if you're familiar with the issues around GDPR and in particular the uncertainty about Privacy Shield and SCCs after Schrems II. But I suspect most people aren't, so let's get into it, with the caveat that this is a Eurocentric (and in particular EU centric) view of this.

The basic outline is that Europeans in the EU have a right to privacy under the EU's General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), an EU directive (let's simplify things and call it an EU law) that regulates how various entities, including companies and the government, may acquire, store and process data about you.

The list of what counts as data about you is enormous. It includes things like your name and birthday, but also your email address, your computers IP address, user names, whatever. If an advertiser could want it, it's on the list.

The general rule is that they can't, unless you give explicit permission, or it's for one of a number of enumerated reasons (not all of which are as clear as would be desirable, but that's another topic). You have a right to request a copy of the data, you have a right to force them to delete their data and so on. It's not quite on the level of constitutional rights, but it is a pretty big deal.

In contrast, the US, home of most of the world's internet companies, has no such right at a federal level. If someone has your data, it is fundamentally theirs. American police, FBI, CIA and so on also have far more rights to request your data than the ones in Europe.

So how can an American website provide services to persons in the EU? Well… Honestly, there's an argument to be made that they can't.

US websites can promise in their terms and conditions that they will keep your data as safe as a European site would. In fact, they have to, unless they start specifically excluding Europeans. The EU even provides Standard Contract Clauses (SCCs) that they can use for this.

However, e.g. Facebook's T&Cs can't bind the US government. Facebook can't promise that it'll keep your data as secure as it is in the EU even if they wanted to (which they absolutely don't), because the US government can get to it easily, and EU citizens can't even sue the US government over it.

Despite the importance that US companies have in Europe, this is not a theoretical concern at all. There have been two successive international agreements between the US and the EU about this, and both were struck down by the EU court as being in violation of EU law, in the Schrems I and Schrems II decisions (named after Max Schrems, an Austrian privacy activist who sued in both cases).

A third international agreement is currently being prepared, and in the meantime the previous agreement (known as "Privacy Shield") remains tentatively in place. The problem is that the US government does not want to offer EU citizens equivalent protection as they have under EU law; they don't even want to offer US citizens these protections. They just love spying on foreigners too much. The previous agreements tried to hide that under flowery language, but couldn't actually solve it. It's unclear and in my opinion unlikely that they'll manage to get a version that survives judicial review this time. Max Schrems is waiting.

So what is a site like Ao3 to do? They're arguably not part of the problem, Max Schrems keeps suing Meta, not the OTW, but they are subject to the rules because they process stuff like your email address.

Their solution is this checkbox. You agree that they can process your data even though they're in the US, and they can't guarantee you that the US government won't spy on you in ways that would be illegal for the government of e.g. Belgium. Is that legal under EU law? …probably as legal as fan fiction in general, I suppose, which is to say let's hope nobody sues to try and find out.

But what's important is that nothing changed, just the language. Ao3 has always stored your user name and email address on servers in the US, subject to whatever the FBI, CIA, NSA and FRA may want to do it. They're just making it more clear now.

[queeniewithabeanie]

The Psychic (kinda, not really)

Dpxdc Prompt #4

holy shit i am so fucked right now

That's all that was on Duke Thomas's mind as he stood in the middle one of Bruce Wayne's (Batman! because apparently the butts do match) ball rooms, ready to be the entertainment for a gala.

how did my life ever come to this point?

At least he had an answer to that question. What do you get when you throw Danny Fenton and Duke Thomas together? An accurate psychic team that can bullshit their way into making enough money to keep themselves off the streets.

Honestly they hadn't really planned for it, but they made a pretty accurate psychic team. Danny could go invisible and intangible which was very helpful in gathering information about clients. He could talk to ghosts as well and if they weren't you know trying to attack him on sight (which was apparently a thing? that ghosts did to Danny?) they were pretty good sources of info. Finally, he new how to do all the generic psychic things like palm reading, tarot cards, tea leaves, ect.

"My friend Sam taught me!" he said, when they were realizing this plan could actually maybe work. "She never believed in it, i didn't, still don't, believe in it either but it could be useful if we actually decide to do it."

If Danny was the one with all the psychic knowledge where does Duke come in you may ask?

Danny couldn't tell a lie to save his life and couldn't get through a palm reading without bursting into laughter because of how crazy it sounded. Duke had a good poker face, learned quickly to lie on the street, and most importantly could see Danny when he was invisible thanks to his own meta ability.

They bought a tent, a deck of tarot cards, a cheap crystal ball (that was really just plastic), and some psychic-ish robes that were warm enough to double as blankets.

And so Danny and Duke started their farce, telling people scarily accurate visions and advice. They started getting invited to more events, high society ones at that, to serve as entertainment. They paid well (no matter how much the condescending nature of everyone attending irked Duke to no end) and everything was great.

They got an apartment, could actually eat 3 meals a day, and had a steady source of work.

Then Duke told someone who murdered their wife and the Bats were interested in him.

Duke and Danny, of course, didn't know this at the time so when they got invited to a gala at Bruce Wayne's (the richest man in Gotham) manor they accepted without a thought.

And then when Danny was scoping out the place after they arrived he found the Batcave because Bruce Wayne was Batman and invited Duke soley to investigate him.

Man did he wish that he could turn invisible like Danny. Maybe then Batman's piercing stare would go through him instead of straight at him.

[esther-dot]

Was gonna do a poll then realized that with how often this has been mischaracterized as show bs by the rest of the fandom, we might want to run through some of the book hints for Sansa being the girl in grey first. So…

The one thing we know about Sansa's future is that she will find her way to Winterfell. ASOS features a prophecy telling us so:

I dreamt of a maid at a feast with purple serpents in her hair, venom dripping from their fangs. And later I dreamt that maid again, slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow." (ASOS, Arya VIII) The snow fell and the castle rose. Two walls ankle-high, the inner taller than the outer. Towers and turrets, keeps and stairs, a round kitchen, a square armory, the stables along the inside of the west wall. It was only a castle when she began, but before very long Sansa knew it was Winterfell. [...] She picked up a broken branch and smashed the torn doll's head down on top of it, then pushed it down atop the shattered gatehouse of her snow castle. The servants looked aghast, but when Littlefinger saw what she'd done he laughed. "If the tales be true, that's not the first giant to end up with his head on Winterfell's walls." (ASOS, Sansa VII)

Doesn't make her the grey girl, but it’s fun that we’re told she’s going North via prophecy, and Jon is told a sister is coming North via prophecy. I’m sure it means nothing.

We have a quote which points to a reunion between Sansa and Jon by virtue of her moment of despair being a prelude for her wish coming true (there are no heroes/Edd, fetch me a block…wait a sec, that involves Jon too???):

Oh, it would be so sweet, to see him once again. But of course that could never be. Alayne Stone had no brothers, baseborn or otherwise. (AFFC, Alayne II)

More & meta links under the cut (I kept it as short as possible, promise!)

Obviously, the reunion could happen after Jon has retaken Winterfell, except we have this line which indicates a Stark will be present for that:

Battles had been fought at Winterfell before, but never one without a Stark on one side or the other. (ADWD, Jon VII)

We also have breadcrumbs leading North for Sansa by @istumpysk :

"I never knew a wolf to run up a streambed for miles," said Reek. "A man might. If he knew he was being hunted, he might. But a wolf?" - Theon IV, ACOK x The Liddle took out a knife and whittled at a stick. "When there was a Stark in Winterfell, a maiden girl could walk the kingsroad in her name-day gown and still go unmolested, and travelers could find fire, bread, and salt at many an inn and holdfast. - Bran II, ASOS x If Dontos and this northern girl helped murder our sweet king, it seems to me that they would want to put as many leagues as they could betwixt themselves and justice. Look for them in Oldtown, if you must, or across the narrow sea. Look for them in Dorne, or on the Wall. Look elsewhere. - Brienne II, AFFC x Or would she seek her own blood instead? Though all of her siblings had been slain, Brienne knew that Sansa still had an uncle and a bastard half brother on the Wall, serving in the Night's Watch. Another uncle, Edmure Tully, was a captive at the Twins, but his uncle Ser Brynden still held Riverrun. And Lady Catelyn's younger sister ruled the Vale. Blood calls to blood. Sansa might well have run to one of them. Which one, though? - Brienne II, AFFC) [link for much more + a map)

And most importantly, in the vision itself we have a hint that the girl is Sansa, as noted by @starwarsprincess1986

[link]

We even have a tentative travel timeline thanks to @aegor-bamfsteel [link]

Some fans believe Alys or Jeyne is the girl in grey, but neither girl’s path fits with Mel’s vision:

GRRM has the map for a reason, in order go along with the story and where everyone is at in the chapters. FArya is coiming from Stannis’ camp in Crofters’ Village, which is  located in the wolfswood west of Winterfell, on the west side of the kingsroad and on the wrong side of Long Lake. Whereas Alys Karstark was coming from Karhold, which is located on the east side of the North, but it’s no where near Long Lake. This makes neither girl the one Melisandre saw in the flames. [link]

That's a good argument that neither Jeyne nor Alys is who Mel saw, and paired with GRRM’s widely noted thing for the number three, it’s pretty compelling:

Then there’s the GRRM rule of 3s; who the characters think it is, who the audience thinks it is, and who it actually is that has been foreshadowed all along. Jon’s other sister he knows was in a forced marriage has barely been on his radar. by @aegor-bamfsteel [link]

Also, Sansa is Ned’s narrative heir which would explain why Martin would want to write her return North as an echo of her father’s journey home after the rebellion as detailed by @une-nuit-pour-se-souvenir [link]

Of course, we have parallels from Jon’s side too. As many fans have noted, Jon getting murdered when he’s wanting to save a sister can be read as a callback to Brandon, but Jon dealing with a prophecy that’s eating away at him makes for an interesting parallel to his father. In both instances, for Brandon and Rhaegar, it is not any girl, but a Stark girl who is central to the matter. In fact, Sansa has specific parallels with Lyanna, and if she is the girl in grey, it would mean she and Lyanna both flee from an unwanted marriage and meet with a Targ which interestingly enough allows the conversation that Jon’s story is having with pre-canon Targ and Stark men to continue. He might save his “sister” where Brandon could not, and where his father spirited the Stark girl far away to a place she ultimately died, Jon will return his Stark girl safely home.

[Elaboration on the Sansa and Lyanna parallels in this tag and in a recent post by @julibf ]

There’s also the succession issue which both Jon and Sansa’s story have prominently featured with LF wanting to use Sansa to claim the North and Stannis wanting to use Jon, and of course, both are significant in the debate about Robb’s will which will create a fun wrinkle:

There is a conflict between them too - until they learn that Bran and Rickon are alive they both are kinda heirs of Starks and Winterfell, both are ruler coded since AGOT and their political strengths complement each other's weaknesses. Moreover, both can support each other's claim. Sansa Stark while being legitimate heir in many lords eyes is still married to Lannister and everyone knows it and she is also a girl who doesn't know how to wage a war. On the other hand Jon Snow even with Stark blood printed on his Ned Stark (who is still beloved in the North) face is still a bastard and can't interfere with claim of legitimate heirs (given that Robb's will is still unknown). One of them on his/her own can raise a lot of questions but two can make a decent claim. by @asoiaf-essays-collector [link]

All of this set up is wasted if they are not both feasible options (in the North) for the Northern Lords to back, allowing the political drama to unfold. (And then imagine when Bran and/or Rickon shows up alive!)

I’d argue this bit hints that the girl in grey will not only make an appearance, but will have real significance to Jon’s story beyond Alys’ brief appearance:

[link]

There’s also the the possibility of Jon post assassination being a play on “the Stranger,” and Sansa a “silent sister” to consider:

[link]

And I can’t do a recap of this theory without acknowledging The Meta. Written all the way back in 2013, this post predicted that Jon and Sansa would not only reunite but reunite first of all the Starks:

If one believes in dramatic irony, it is that thoughtlessness in regards to each other....that gives them the best chances of being the first (if not only) Starks to reunite. [link]

So, is Sansa the girl in grey?

Feel free to add on additional arguments and/or your favorite bits of evidence. I’ll post a poll in a few days!

[bienmoreau]

I ummed and ahhed over responding again. I'm sorry for any misunderstandings and I'm glad we got that cleared up. But I also wanted to finish my thoughts on this so it doesn't nag on me all night.

I want to clarify here that this isn't aimed at you/in response or contradiction to your post. It's just the thoughts that your reply brought up for me about this topic far more generally than just from this exchange! That said;

The 'what was it all for' is such an important line for sure!! So much of his journey is learning that the way he was taught things had to be isn't actually the case at all. And the mental recalibration that's going to require is huge.

And yeh I completely agree about him not being a sheep or wolf and learning how to not be violent & rude.

I've seen all too often and up close how this fandom (tho not uniquely) has a tendency to take characters to one extreme or another in their characterisation. It has done since 2015, I should be used to it by now. But I personally balk at the idea of that happening with Jean in any direction; violence, softness, victimhood. Any of it. None of it does his complexity justice when addressed in isolation or taken to an extreme.

And unfortunately a lot of what I've been seeing in the fandom tags seems to focus on a few cherry picked moments that people have taken and run with at the neglect of other parts that I think shed very important context or contradiction on the parts people have focused on. Even for example (and simply because it is one of the examples we discussed here) the fact that the major contributing factor in Jean swinging at Jeremy in the car wasn't anything to do with Jeremy, it was because Jean was lost in a traumatic memory about him and Kevin in the nest.

What's focused on is Jeremy touching him (and for context, not in an aggressive or invasive or even particularly surprising way it just coincided with Jean being somewhere else in his head) and the context of that moment seems to often be overlooked. Jeremy gets the blame (I'm not saying Jean should either. I don't think there IS blame here!) but I've seen a similar thing happen with other moments being discussed. People pull a single line or two out of a 3 page scene and build a moral stance off that line. It's reductive. Not only of the legitimate critical analysis of these characters and their actions/motivations but also of the thought and care and detail Nora puts into her writing! That's what my original post was about (tho I admit I worded it badly and I regret that.) the detail of that moment is what tells us what jean was actually reacting to and setting up the foreshadowing for what happens with Grayson later. The context here matters and for me at least changes how I read that interaction.

As for them 'holding on tighter' again I imagine the context of these moments is also important. I don't know which bits you're referring to specifically

But from a brief flick through the latter half of the book I found two that I think fit this description and both times it was when they were stopping him from hurting himself and holding on to make sure he was safe to be let go. Or asking him to acknowledge them so they can confirm he is safe to be left/if they can do something to help him. And the time when they see his notebooks but he isn't described resisting Jeremy's hold there, and wrenching out of that hold is descriptive of his physicality in movement not of Jeremy's restraint of him.

The one I found that I assume best fits this description is in that same scene. 'Laila moved faster than a snake to catch Jean’s wrist. How she held on when Jean flinched at her touch, Jeremy didn't know' but again the context is what's important. By this point they have all seen how Jean self harms when he slips and says something he didn't mean to. The next line after Laila's speech is literally 'In another moment he’d draw blood where his fingernails were burrowed into his cheek'.

Maybe I'm forgetting an obvious outlier of a moment where their behaviour is not explicable when in context (my reread has been sporadic and I've been distracted proof reading more recently) And absolutely I agree everyone will have their own reactions to reading behaviour like this. But personally don't fault them for not letting him self harm in front of them if that can do anything to stop it. And beyond any individual context of a scene I think it's really important for the whole fandom to remember that these characters are their own complex imperfect teens and early 20 somethings every time we see their behaviour from Jeans POV he and therefore we are missing the entire world of decisions and emotions and instincts that each of them are also working with in the face of dealing with someone who is deeply traumatised and in ways which they explicitly do not understand or know the truth of.

Back on my annotated reread of TSC and thinking abt how Jean's reaction to Laila when he hits her isn't just about being touched unexpectedly.

It's because it's his neck.

It is specifically because it's 'something warm and wet against his injured neck'.

It's because it's literally happening in the middle of a conversation in which Cat just suggested Jean meet in person with Grayson.

Like as much as people can be upset he hit her or didn't immediately apologise (also tho like. Did we read the same book? It literally has it right there that apologising is not how this kinda thing is handled in the nest. Why would Jean think to do that here??) can you really be surprised that those circumstances triggered his fight response? Like really?

[vidavalor]

The Vavoom: Or, when the show's hinting Crowley & Aziraphale first kissed

It was not in 2.06, if that makes you feel any better?

Meta/theory hybrid stuffity stuff below the cut. As always, all interpretations are valid. This isn't meant to offend anyone who sees things differently. Post contains spoilers for the films 'Kiss Me Deadly' (1955), 'About Time' (2013), 'Love Actually' (2003), and 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' (1994). Apologies that this took a few days. Life's been wild this week. Let's dive in...

Right. So. The Vavoom...

I feel like most of us, by this point, are probably in agreement that Crowley is not talking about something he saw in a Richard Curtis film when he talks about his plan to help The Shop Lesbians to fall in love... and that, if he's not talking about something he saw in a movie, then he's talking about something he experienced... and yes, sure, absolutely Crowley has been on Earth for 6,000 years and could have vavoomed with basically anyone who has ever lived at this point as well as one semi-sentient car and even the world's once only-remaining unicorn but... we all know he's talking about Aziraphale. So this is about unraveling what the show presents as Clues to this end and using those Clues to solve for x and see if we can prove that Crowley is talking about Aziraphale and then figure out when this Vavoom happened with the information the show has given us so far... and the good news is that we can do all of those things so here we go...

The first thing to do is to eliminate the Richard Curtis films. Let's just start with Crowley saying that he saw his whole vavoom moment in "a Richard Curtis film." As someone who has seen a frankly embarrassing number of Richard Curtis films, I can tell you that this is a very amusing misdirect from a writing standpoint. It is amusing because it's a wink of sorts towards the same problem that comes up when you try to find The Vavoom on the GO timeline based on what the show's presented so far. What is that problem? It's that-- at first, cursory glance-- no one GO scene or Curtis film seems to have everything Crowley describes. Don't worry, though, because we actually do have enough information to find the lone caraway seed beneath these three cowrie shells here. You'll be Aziraphale-voicing an "a-HA!" very soon. :)

There are only two Richard Curtis films that feature elements Crowley lists as having occurred during The Vavoom: 'About Time' and 'Four Weddings and a Funeral.' The Awning of a New Age scene in GO actually winds up an homage of sorts to 'About Time', as it is referencing it pretty heavily. However, there is no vavooming in 'About Time'; meaning, there is not this gaze-to-kiss moment that Crowley is talking about. A wedding reception tent collapses under heavy rain and soaks several supporting characters in the film, much like how our supporting characters Nina and Maggie get soaked by too much rain causing the awning to collapse. There is no gaze or almost-kiss or kiss before it. There are other canopies-- umbrellas-- but no one gazes or kisses under one. So, Crowley did not see The Vavoom in 'About Time'-- but that particular Richard Curtis film might have been the one in Crowley's mind when he quickly latched onto Richard Curtis films while speaking with Aziraphale in the pub.

As a result, thinking about his conversation with Aziraphale while trying to craft his Shop Lesbians Vavoom might have actually caused him to over-weather and cause the awning to drench Maggie & Nina. So the joke there is more that The Original Vavoom of which Crowley is speaking in the pub scene is something that really happened and had an element or two in common with a scene in the Richard Curtis film, 'About Time', which also features Bill Nighy (see: 'Love Actually' stuff below), whose mannerisms Crowley seems to like to emulate at times. As a result of seeing the film and thinking about how it *wasn't* like The Vavoom-- the canopy collapsing, the lack of an actual Vavoom in motion prior to this, all of that disappointing Crowley greatly when he saw this film lol-- Crowley ironically then says he got the whole idea of The Vavoom from a Richard Curtis film... when, in fact, *the distinct lack of Vavoom* in the film was what Crowley remembered from it... and then, upon thinking of the pub discussion when trying to start an Awning of a New Age for Maggie & Nina, it accidentally became part of his miracle, causing him to over-Weather and, kind of hilariously, substituted the kiss Crowley was trying to incite with the collapsing awning scene from 'About Time'... the film then disappointing him all over again lol.

The other Richard Curtis film that is relevant is 'Four Weddings and a Funeral.' You might be familiar with the scene-- its ending scene-- just from cultural osmosis as this point, even if you haven't seen the film. Hugh Grant proposes to Andie MacDowell in the pouring rain. So, the big problem with this scene is that there is no canopy. None. Whatsoever. They're soaked through. We never see them go inside. They look into each other's eyes and they kiss but it's raining on them the whole time and Crowley is really specific about his canopy requirements for Vavooming. This scene is also wrong because it's a proposal between characters who have known one another on and off for years and have a more extensive history, whereas Nina and Maggie are much earlier in a potential relationship and The Vavoom Crowley talks about is an intense gaze into a first kiss. That said... just as how 'About Time' ties to Nina & Maggie's story, there are some 'Four Weddings'-y elements to Crowley & Aziraphale's relationship, in that their story also covers them meeting up through different points in time and such. 'Four Weddings' was also the first mainstream, hit rom com to openly feature queer characters in supporting roles so it's a strong one for GO to be referencing... but, ultimately, no Crowley-described Vavoom scene in sight.

Finally, there's 'Love Actually', which doesn't actually have a single element in it that pertains to The Vavoom but I'm throwing it in here because I'm just looking at all GO ties to Richard Curtis films at this point. 'Love Actually' features Nina Sosanya (GO's Nina, of course) as a queer-coded character and, in GO, David Tennant has a few scenes where he seems to be channeling Bill Nighy's Billy Mack from 'Love Actually' in S1. (Tell me Crowley's not doing Billy Mack's walk when they cross the street to the bookshop in Eleven Years Ago in S1 lol.) For those of you who have somehow avoided seeing this movie lol, Billy Mack is an aging rock star who is the best character in the film and heavily queer-coded. In S2, there's also some Big Bill Nighy Energy in the "we'll just to have to make it worthwhile then" bit with Muriel in Heaven and also in the way he chuckles in the "I *was* there, you see" moment with Gabriel. Also probably worth mentioning that, in 'About Time', Bill Nighy plays the dad of one half of the main couple in the movie and his role is to teach him how to live life and this involves pursuing the woman he is trying to marry throughout his ability to fall through time. So, Bill Nighy is basically playing the S2 Crowley of 'About Time' while the main couple of that film parallels Maggie & Nina, in that he's setting up the scenario for the couple involved to get together. Nothing in the film, though, is as overt or contains elements that match The Vavoom, other than the collapsed awning, as we got into above.

So mah point is dolphins that while there are a couple of Richard Curtis films that contain bits and pieces of what Crowley is talking about, there isn't a single one that has anything really remotely close to the, uh, extremely specific scenario he was detailing... so now we have to look at just what the hell Crowley's on about, exactly... and for this, we are, surprisingly, going to wind up looking at a very different film from any by Richard Curtis-- 1955's classic film noir, 'Kiss Me Deadly'. Why this random film, you say? Because it's actually not at all random to GO S2. It's the origins of the phrase "vavoom"... and S2 of GO contains a multi-episode homage to the film.

'Kiss Me Deadly' is, tonally, very different from GO as it's pretty dark film noir but it has a plot you might find a little familiar. One night, driving down a dark road, the main character picks up a hitchhiker who has lost her memory. After she's murdered, the film revolves around the main character-- a private investigator-- and his lover/partner investigating the case to try to solve the mystery. GO's episode "The Hitchhiker" opens with a plot and visual homage to this film when Aziraphale picks up Shax in The Bentley and obviously S2 contains a plot surrounding a mystery related to a character who has lost their memory in Gabriel. I'm going to do a separate thing that is a deeper dive into this with particular emphasis on how the lead characters relate to Crowley and Aziraphale at another point in time because it crosses into too many other things to fit it into this one at the moment but the reason why I bring the film up now is because of its ties to the phrase "vavoom."

"Vavoom", alternatively spoken as "va va voom" and containing the same meaning, is thought to have originated in a cartoon in the late 1940s but its use in "Kiss Me Deadly" in 1955 is what pushed it into popular, cultural use and knowledge. In the film, there's a character named Nick, who is friends with the two leads (the Crowley & Aziraphale-paralleling Hammer and Velda). They have nicknamed him "Va Va Voom" because he says it so often. Nick is an auto mechanic who works on the leads' car-- yes, there's a Bentley parallel lol-- and it is his use of the phrase that made it one we are familiar with today. But what does it really mean exactly in terms of this scene in the pub?

Without going too far down the road that we wind up in another meta about wordplay and symbolism in S2 here, the show is doing things related around the word 'passion' and all of its various meanings. It begins with Aziraphale referring to Maggie's feelings for Nina as "a pash"-- which is British English slang for "a crush" or "an infatuation". It comes from the word "passion"... but the word "passion" actually means something much different. "Passion" is very specifically romantic, erotic love when used to describe a relationship. It means enthusiasm when about a hobby or the like-- Aziraphale will get the neighbors to come to the meeting/ball by negotiating their commitment based on things they're passionate about-- Mr. Arnold and Doctor Who, Mutt and the history of magic. Finally, S2 is tying a lot of this passion-related plot to *The* Passion-- as in, The Passion of the Christ, or the Christian phrase for the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Why is it called 'The Passion' anyway? Because the Latin root of 'passion' is 'pati', which actually means 'to suffer.' Looking at all of this and how the show pairs up scenes with different types of passion is a whole other meta. I'm bringing it up here because of the relationship between 'passion' and 'vavoom'...

"Vavoom" means voluptuously sexy. It means passionate. Something having a sense of "vavoom" or "vavavoom" means it is either suggestive of or is sensually pleasing. In GO S2, Maggie & Nina represent the pash use of passion-- the new love, the crush-- while Crowley & Aziraphale are the show's example of passion in its fuller, richer meaning of romantic, erotic love. So now that we eliminated the idea that Crowley is talking about having seen an example of this vavoom he's talking about in a movie-- I mean, 'Kiss Me Deadly' is totally a movie Crowley saw once so he might have first heard the phrase in it, like many people did but there's no vavoom itself the way Crowley describes it in the film, just the phrase-- but yeah, now that we've eliminated the idea that Crowley got his idea from a film, we can say with relative ease that he's talking about something he personally experienced. I think we can all agree that if he did, it was with Aziraphale and the purpose of him bringing it up in the scene is not just as a suggestion to solve the issue of needing to matchmake The Shop Lesbians but as a way of being seductive towards Aziraphale.

This is also part of 'Kiss Me Deadly' in that Crowley here is the Velda to Aziraphale's Hammer. Hammer is preoccupied with the mystery. Velda tries to help him solve it but is also seeking his romantic attention the whole time and being rebuffed in favor of the mystery. It's darker in the film, as you'd probably expect, since it's film noir, and Aziraphale is actually subtly playing back in GO S2. In GO, it's mostly played off as Crowley, kicked out of bed since the religious family are in the guest room lol, continuously making overtures towards Aziraphale to torment him a little for the whole Gabriel situation but also mainly just because he likes to and he misses him. (It has been, like, maybe 18 whole hours lol.) He continues it into later in the day when Muriel is in the bookshop and Aziraphale is a little more overtly playful then but he is in the pub scene as well. All of this also ties into the fact that Aziraphale wants to drive The Bentley but again, that's a whole other meta. Going to stay focused on the kiss here...

So what we're saying is that, in the scene in The Dirty Donkey, Crowley does that whole lean and the sexy hands and that super posh voice he does from time to time to seduce Aziraphale, and describes their first kiss back to Aziraphale when asked to come up with a romantic solution to help their neighbors realize they are in love. Specifically, Crowley says this:

Whew. *fans self* Jesus, Crowley... No wonder why Aziraphale thought you could help The Shop Lesbians. That? Was romantic...

The key thing I love about this is that while everything he says lends itself to the idea of a kiss, he doesn't actually explicitly say that until the later scene in the back room when Muriel is in the bookshop-- the "one fabulous kiss" part. It's evident later on when he explains the plan to Jimbriel and when he puts it into action that his intent is to trigger a scenario that might prompt Maggie and Nina into kissing and when the awning collapses, he feels like he failed at the overall Vavoom. He did, however, see it working from across the street, such were the fireworks, when they looked into each other's eyes and what's sweet and also very hot about this scene in the pub is that the looking into each other's eyes is the key bit of The Vavoom to Crowley. The kiss is what happened as a result of looking into each other's eyes. The romance of the gaze and the passion of the kiss = The Vavoom but the latter without the former isn't the whole rapturous, perfect moment and Crowley is into this moment. He's still weak in the knees over the thought of it.

And what he says happened in it? They looked into each other's eyes and realized they were made for each other? Crowley thinks that. He says that, flat out, to Aziraphale. Crowley. Who was abandoned by the God who was supposed to love him believes that same God created he and Aziraphale for each other. That they're fated, destined soulmates. And that they both knew it, in that moment when they were taking shelter from a sudden rainstorm together, under a canopy, and they gazed into each other's eyes and then

Yes, I am aware that he says "humans" in that bit in the pub scene. He's referring to Nina & Maggie but also he and Aziraphale have a tendency to refer to their love for one another in human terms in different scenes throughout the series, which is probably a whole other meta and *refocuses on finding this damn kiss here*...

So Crowley-- while heavily emphasizing the words "together" and "canopy", both for maximum sexiness and to lead us in the correct direction lol-- tells us what's needed in this scene, right? We need a sudden rainstorm, a canopy, them wet from the rain and taking shelter, Crowley's glasses to be off or he's in a situation to be able to take them off (ironically, unlike he was when he was in the pub while he's talking about all this erotic gazing), and then we have all this gazing into a very vavoom-y, very passionate first kiss.

So, what scenes seem at all remotely tied to things Crowley describes for The Vavoom? There are three scenes that jump out immediately-- and it's none of them lol. They *are not kidding* about quite literally 'three cowrie shells and a lone caraway seed'. There are three scenes that they want you to think could be connected to this and be distracted by to complete their sleight of hand trick. They want you to look towards Aziraphale's hand and not up his sleeve, so to speak.

So the three cowrie shells scenes here are Before the Beginning, Eden, and the Job minisode. Why? They are the scenes that involve Crowley and Aziraphale and some form of a canopy, which is one of the two words in Crowley's whole Vavoom moment that he heavily emphasizes. So it's not Before the Beginning and it's not Eden and why? Because we're missing the other word Crowley heavily emphasizes-- *together.* Crowley and Aziraphale took shelter from a sudden rainstorm *together* under a canopy. That's the set up. But Before the Beginning and Eden-- the first scenes our minds run to-- are not this because they are sheltering *one another* but not sheltering *together*. One of them is exposed to the rain each time.

There's an additional possibility that is thrown into the mix that is tied to these two scenes, which is the S2 announcement poster-- the one that features Crowley and Aziraphale on Whickber Street in the rain. That one is also out because Crowley is being sheltered from the rain by Aziraphale with a tartan umbrella (ridiculously adorable, I agree lol)-- but they're not both sheltering together. That one feels like it was designed just to fuck with us, especially because Crowley's hair in it is, for some reason, at Eleven Years Ago length in it. It's almost like it exists to both be cute and to, after the season is over, make us go wait... was it then? (It was not then.) More distractions. Ok, so, then what about the Job minisode?

Is it ox rib night? This seems to have some elements at play-- there's a roof and a storm and them together and all-around kiss vibes-- but it's actually not this, either. That said? Job is connected to it in a big way and helps prove my theory here so we're going to come back to it. I'll eliminate it here by pointing out that when Crowley defends The Vavoom as a possibility for Maggie & Nina to Aziraphale, he says "get humans wet and staring into each other's eyes" and "humans" in that bit is them, even if they are not fully. This eliminates the Job minisode as The Vavoom because it confirms that Crowley & Aziraphale did get wet as they went to shelter from the storm. In the Job minisode, they never go out in it. So, Job is out, too.

Ok, so then how do we find the one scene that unlocks this and points us towards the answer hidden in plain sight in front of us?

What is the one scene that really should tell us more about The Vavoom? How about the one wherein Crowley partially recreates it?

The Awning of a New Age is the lone carraway seed. Maggie & Nina paralleling Crowley & Aziraphale. What can we learn about what happened with Crowley & Aziraphale from what happened in this Maggie & Nina scene?

We already know that Crowley feels like he partially failed at recreating The Vavoom for them. It was meant to lead into a kiss and then the awning collapsed. That is what is different from Crowley & Aziraphale's first kiss but Crowley was delighted by the gazing, which we already know to be the very important bit of this here. Off of this, we can conclude that there's obviously a parallel of this bit for Crowley & Aziraphale and this is where the parallels in the scene stop. That means that what happens *before* the gazing moment in The Awning of a New Age scene is important because that's the parallel. So, what's happening while Crowley spots them together outside and starts up the rain? They're talking, right? And what are they talking about?

They're talking about one of them-- Nina-- having a partner who is unreasonably upset. Nina is anxious about it. She doesn't blame Maggie for it, as it's not Maggie's fault. It's also not Nina's own fault and what Lindsay wants from Nina is confining and abusive. Lindsay, we learn, is cruel. We decide in this scene really how much we don't like Nina with this woman and that we want her to be with nice Maggie who is sweet and supportive and is over the moon for her.

On the surface, this would seem to be absolutely nothing like any Crowley & Aziraphale scene we've ever seen, right? Fooled by what is on the surface-- modern lesbians in London Soho, one of whom has a romantic partner-- this seems to be a plot Crowley & Aziraphale have never had. Except, that it's not. It's a parallel to one you'll remember.

One, paralleling sentence here for you...

God's a bit tetchy...

Awning of a New Age unlocks that Lindsay being unreasonably angry and dolling out insane punishment for no actual misdeeds is a parallel to God during The Flood. God was Aziraphale's Lindsay-- the unseen, abusive partners, sending down their words and marching orders and causing distress. Crowley approached Aziraphale like how Maggie approaches Nina. Aziraphale half-heartedly tries to defend God the way that Nina half-heartedly tries to defend Lindsay but both pretty much give up in the face of Crowley's and Maggie's sane responses and support. The agreement that the present situation-- Lindsay about to abandon Nina, God about to abandon her creations in The Flood-- is horrible and unjust. They connect over the lack of justice. The Flood scene we saw ends as the rain begins, with Crowley and Aziraphale both looking up as it starts to fall.

Maggie and Nina get further-- they get to the first half of The Vavoom, in parallel. We haven't seen that yet with Crowley & Aziraphale. (Maggie & Nina also didn't have to go stop and save a bunch of people first lol.)

So how do we know that The Flood was the first kiss?

How do we know that Crowley and Aziraphale first kissed in Ancient Mesopotamia in fucking 3004 B.C. and have been vavoom sorted gone on each other ever since?

Because it happening in the aftermath of saving lives in The Flood would then mean it meets every one of the elements Crowley describes. They get wet from the storm. They will work to save everyone, which is evident from Aziraphale being dead fucking certain in the Job minisode that Crowley was a sweetheart who wasn't going to kill any goats or kids. How would he know this for sure? Saying that what God was doing was terrible in The Flood scene isn't enough for Aziraphale's surety by Job. That means that Mesopotamia and The Flood is the first time they teamed up. It means that Crowley saved people and animals during it. It more than likely means that he did so in a way similar to what he does during the Job minisode-- he transformed them into something that could survive the storm, probably rocks or something. (Big Medusa vibes lol.) But what would happen then? Crowley and Aziraphale would have to *stay through the storm to turn the people back*, right?

So, they'd need to seek shelter from the rainstorm. Under a canopy that could survive the storm. One they can both step back under and bump into one another beneath. Most likely, it's an actual canopy in original meaning of the word-- the shelter of trees. I think one of them (Crowley) bolted afterwards, based on the Job minisode, which we'll get to again in a second, and from under a canopy would be the easiest way to just be able to leave during a storm. (They did not spend the Biblical 40 days and 40 nights under that canopy or they almost certainly would have wound up having sex, which the show is suggesting in other scenes didn't happen for awhile after this which is also another meta lol.) But there's also another reason for trees that kind of cracks me up.

Remember when Aziraphale comes back from Edinburgh in S2 and, before he left, they had their whole Our Car/Our Bookshop thing and Crowley's been peeved for a day now over how Aziraphale got to go adventure in The Bentley and he got to wear a cardigan and babysit their former attempted murderer? And about how what he's really playfully irritated over is that he keeps trying to use Operation Shop Lesbians to turn Aziraphale on by mentioning their Vavoomy first kiss and Aziraphale is, kind of hilariously in retrospect, just totally tormenting him by barely indulging him on it? What happens when Aziraphale comes back from his trip?

Crowley-- genuinely-- says "there you are-- I was worried something had happened to you" and he's off-camera for a moment as he does so and the camera is on Aziraphale, who kind of seems like he would like one of Crowley's kisses about now. But what does Aziraphale get in place of where a kiss could have gone?

A face full of plants lol.

In their box, so that when he handed them to Aziraphale, they hung over his head like a canopy.

Don't wanna talk about The Vavoom, angel? Fine. You're just getting the trees. Mwah. *goes to his car and is all did you misssssss me kissy face*

Aziraphale, in old married bitch mode:

Finally, there's that Ancient Mesopotamia is, chronologically, the last scene so far in which Crowley is not seen wearing glasses, which is essential because Crowley-- while wearing his glasses in the pub lol-- describes the key bit of The Vavoom as involving staring into one another's eyes, which Crowley & Aziraphale can't do if Crowley has his glasses on. Since Crowley wears his glasses in approximately 87% of Good Omens, it means that the answer is in a scene where he's either not wearing them at all or could be seen as able to take them off. Mesopotamia meets that criteria. But there's still one more thing that can really hammer home the idea of this The Flood, Part 2 being their first kiss and that's going to be how we end up back at the Job minisode again.

Go back and think of the Job minisode again but now with the idea that the last time they saw one another-- ages before it-- they shared this moment of wildly passionate vavoom and look at how it recontextualizes the entire minisode.

Start with when they first see each other again. Where did *that* Aziraphale come from? He's teasing him.

The Aziraphale in Before the Beginning and in Eden and in the first bit of The Flood that we've seen is more anxious. He's not afraid of Crowley and he's definitely attracted to him but he's distracted by the dangers of what is happening while they're talking. Suddenly, he jumps from the Aziraphale of The Flood to the Aziraphale of the Job minisode. This one is flirtier. This one is literally like all so you never called-ing Bildad the Shuite lol. He's all "last time I saw you was... The Flood?" like he doesn't know and Crowley is all tight nod ohfuckit'shim and also ohfuckit'shimhavemissedhimsomuch and hiding behind his sunglasses-- Bildad is the first appearance of the sunglasses, chronologically, so we go from the Vavoomy gaze to Crowley hiding his eyes... this then all moves into the courtyard scene after a few moments...

Oh, what's this now? The only scene in the whole series in which Aziraphale asks Crowley to take his glasses off? And he does? So quickly-- intentionally-- that his expression from before is still on his face and it's just nothing but naked want like he's saying oh you wondered how I was looking at you from behind these this whole time? yeah, it was like this... Aziraphale is straight up asking for more vavoom. Take the glasses off. Look me in the eye and tell me you want this and yeah, sure, they're talking *on the surface* on *one level* of their conversation about whether or not Crowley is exhibiting serial killer tendencies and wanting to kill small animals and kids but, really, this scene is also the formation of their coded way of speaking to one another. Crowley's "I want to. I long (pause) to kill the blameless kids of Job the way I killed his blameless goats" and then lifting just enough of the magic to let Aziraphale see that he had actually not killed the goats at all but had actually faked their deaths, indicating that that was his plan for saving the kids as well... Well, it also means that *all* of what Crowley just said to him was coded. That's the weird pause after "I long" that breaks it into two sentences. It makes the second level of their conversation that Crowley whipped off his glasses, gazed into Aziraphale's eyes, and said I want to, I long... meaning, I want you, I want to kiss you again, I long for you...

But the bit of the Job episode that sells me on The Flood being The Vavoom is actually the bit just after Crowley miracles himself, Aziraphale, the kids, Jemimah's pot (because he's so not a serial killer, he saved the damn pot lol), the wine (because fuck that little Influencer Brat of Job-- Crowley's not about to kill a kid but he absolutely will drink the last of his wine for treating Aziraphale like a whore lol), and the food down to the cellar and started iguana-ing the kids. Why this bit? Because Aziraphale is fucking giddy and is just tormenting the living fuck out of Crowley.

He's all "I knew it!" and when you first watch the scene, right, you could think he means he knew that Crowley would save the kids. Yet, he already knows that by this point-- that's what the courtyard scene was. That's why he's yelling that he's "QUITE SURE" when Crowley asks him if he is (and calls him "angel" for the first time when doing so) while he's setting everything on fire just a moment before. Obviously, Aziraphale is happy that Crowley didn't kill the kids but what he's all I knew it *smug smile, actually fucking wiggling with flirty joy* about is that Crowley wanted to be alone with him again and would find a way to make it happen because what's the plan? The one that Aziraphale is totally teasing him about?

Aziraphale is going on about how oh, this is *Satan's* big plan, huh? A *big storm*? He loves every minute of it and he also really loves Crowley getting very close to him-- kissable close-- and being all "ooh aren't you brilliant?" when Aziraphale was acting smug. When did Crowley get that comfortable getting that close to him?

But yeah, Aziraphale loving every second of Crowley saving the kids, turning them into sightless/soundless iguanas, and sending a storm over the land for the night while keeping the two of them dry in a little cellar canopy so they can be alone together again-- essentially, repeating a version of The Vavoom scenario, as he'll still be trying to do millennia later... Aziraphale thought that very romantic and had no problem flirtily teasing the hell out of Crowley for it. Crowley's game is as ancient as Bildad the Shuite lol.

So yeah, what we're saying here is that there's a The Flood, Part 2 and that it's likely in S3. I actually wouldn't be surprised if it opened S3, since the first two seasons are opened with the other canopy-themed firsts-- the two first times they met, really, in Before the Beginning and Eden, both with the wing canopy-ing of one another-- so S3 could be the tree canopy and their first kiss. The Flood also seems likely to return because of how it ties thematically to the whole end of the world of S3's Second Coming plot.

One aspect of this theory that I really like is also that it means that Crowley was more female-presenting during their first kiss (which also goes along with the feminine energy sometimes associated with the phrase "vavoom"/"vavavoom") but also that when they next see one another in the Job minisode, Crowley is the more male-presenting Bildad the Shuite... and Aziraphale is really just into all of it. He's just into Crowley, full stop. We already know he is but I like the idea of it tied to their early days and showing it unfold a bit and how it's just all fine by Aziraphale, who just loves this being and is happy to see them and get to be alone with them again. It's very sweet and romantic.

I guess the last thing to say is that if this is true, we're all going to have a field day redoing the psychoanalysis of this bit below, aren't we?

[leth-writes]

yandere Tim Drake x meta reader

This is the first part, I'll probably post a second tomorrow!

Summary: you're a meta who struggles to be seen, and Tim thinks you're the most interesting thing he's laid his eyes on for a long time.

Warnings: none, though as always my blog is 18+.

Tim was the only person to really see you. You’d been born a meta, though your powers slowly ramped up through your early childhood; unfortunately you didn’t even get a cool power. You weren’t even fully invincible, just slightly… fuzzy. It was frustrating, how no one would look you in the eye as a kid, at least until it progressed to most people not even being able to look at your face. You felt like half a person, like a silhouette without the details penciled in.

Then, as you got older, it got worse and worse. Suddenly, your own parents were forgetting you. You’d go to get dinner only to find none left, they almost gave your bed away, most of your clothes got donated… you learned quickly to keep your personal possessions close to your chest to avoid them being given out at the first chance. They could barely remember your name even when they could see you, always messing it up by a few letters. It was even worse at school. You found yourself often having your desk given away to new students, being forced to sit on the floor and try to get your work done, and your teacher always managed to misplace your homework. Eventually, the other students would attempt to walk right through you, as though you were a ghost and not a real person.

Maybe you were a ghost, maybe there was something wrong with you. Maybe you’d died and gone to hell after a life of sin… you couldn’t imagine God being good if they’d condemn you to this living, waking, purgatory. Eventually, you’d been completely kicked out of the house. You’d come home one day, only to find your whole family gone; they’d moved without you. The realization that you’d been erased from their eyes at the snap of a figure only left you hollow.

The hunger to be seen, to be known, left a giant gaping maw in your stomach, all teeth and gnarled, twisted flesh. It was horrid, this living, breathing, monster eating away at you until you couldn’t breathe or blink, curled up in the small, ragged blanket you’d found one day after dumpster diving. You often spent hours just laying on your side in an alley, praying to be released from your suffering, only to fail over and over again. It was horrible, but it was your life.

Everything changed when you met him. You’d been sneaking into Gotham Academy, mainly to use their bathrooms to shower and change into some spare clothes you planned to steal. You took the shortcut through the library, looking for something good to read to distract you from the gawping hunger growing steadily, trying to feed it so it wouldn’t consume you whole, when you heard the clearing of a throat. As always, you assumed it was just some rich kid with a mild case of the sniffles ditching class to read magazines in the corner.

You were wrong.

Suddenly, there was a hand on your shoulder. A hand, on your shoulder! It was the first time you’d been touched in 2 years. You whirled around and threw yourself into the chest of the boy who’d grasped your shoulder, the force of you colliding with him causing him to take a step back and readjust his weight, letting out a soft “oof!”. Tears streamed down your face, the hungry maw gnawing at you practically overtaking you.

The boy let out a gentle sigh, slowly raising the still outstretched arm to pat at your back awkwardly.

“Hey, are you… okay?” He asked, tentatively.

You realized you were still clawing at him like a wounded animal, and quickly stepped away, clearing your throat and looking down.

“Sorry, it’s just… been a while since someone hugged me, I guess I forgot what it felt like?” you said sheepishly, looking down and away.

“It’s alright, I was just wondering if you were new here? I haven’t seen you around campus before…” He started hesitantly, stepping closer. Shit, you couldn’t let him know you didn’t attend the school, or he’d call the cops on you! Who knows how long you’d be left in a quiet, dingy cell, hands cuffed together, before they remembered they’d put you there!

“Yeah, yeah, I’m new. It’s my first day and I got a bit lost… Silly me, huh?” You said, laughing awkwardly and rubbing your arm.

You looked up at him for the first time. Shit. It was Tim fucking Drake, heir to the Wayne and Drake empires, and practical king of the school. He ruled with an iron fist, blackmailing bullies and solving problems; even as an outsider, you couldn’t deny the power he held. The way he acted, you knew he was aware of his power as well. He was dressed in a rumpled uniform, something that would normally be a suspendable offence, but he managed to get away with it. He was leaning back, tie loose and shirt untucked partially, hair messy and fluffy. The sun filtered gently through the arched windows, a rare sunny day, illuminating the soft brown undertones of his hair and shining on his pale, exhausted looking face. He had deep eye bags but was otherwise unblemished, and the lightest green eyes you’d ever seen, almost sickly green.

Looking at him made you uncomfortable; it’d been years since you’d been able to talk to another person. His eyes glinted and his face slackened, looking stern and serious.

“No you’re not.” He said, voice low and threatening.

“W-Yes I am! I just don’t have my paperwork in yet!” You stuttered, backing into the bookcase and holding your hands up as if to defend against a physical blow. He sighed and shook his head, once again stepping into your personal space. “No you aren’t. I would’ve recognized you. I know everyone in this school; you don’t even have a uniform on.” He continued, glancing out the window as if uninterested.

Fuck, what should you do? You could run, but you had the feeling he’d be able to catch you… Or you could try and lie again, but he did seem pretty certain… Maybe you should just confess?

“Fine. I don’t go here. I’m just… I just need to use the bathroom, okay?” You hedged, looking away as though embarassed. It was best not to confess your status as a meta, for fear of Batman showing up to arrest you; you’d heard he had a vendetta against metas for some reason.

Tim nodded, looking satisfied. “Finally, the truth. Let’s go.” He stepped away, grabbing your wrist and pulling you gently along. You dragged your feet, sputtering, trying to stop him. “where are we going?” You asked him, incredulously. “We’re going to get you some clothes, my treat, and a shower. I can’t have you wandering around like that, you’ll never fit in. Besides, you’re the only interesting thing I’ve seen all month.”

You were so excited to finally be seen you didn’t even question why he referred to you as a thing instead of a person.

[dawnfelagund]

Back in 2019, I wrote a blog post called The Inequality Prototype. As part of it, I counted a bunch of stuff related to the Valar and looked at how those metrics differed based on gender. At the time, I thought it would be interesting to extend this work over the entire Silmarillion, namely looking at who speaks in the text and who doesn't. For Tolkien Meta Week, I began this work and am collecting my analyses related to it here. It is very much still a work in progress and will likely take me years to complete, but I'm going to post interesting data as I discover it.

This project, like all of my data projects, is available to use under a CC license for others who want to play with the data: View the data | Copy the data | Methodology, progress, etc.

---

Dialogue does not occur evenly across The Silmarillion. While a little over 5% of the words in The Silmarillion as a whole are used in dialogue, this is very unevenly distributed across the chapters, with some chapters about half dialogue and six chapters containing no dialogue at all.

There is a lot more work to be done to tease out trends and patterns that might have some meaning, but just glancing at the graph above, some of those patterns do begin to emerge. First, dialogue increases as The Silmarillion progresses. In the second half of the book (calculated by chapter, not page or word count), only two chapters have no dialogue and only four chapters (inclusive of those two without dialogue) fall below the median of 5.3% dialogue. Put another way:

In the first half of chapters, 71% of chapters are below the median.

In the second half of chapters, 29% of chapters are below the median.

Why is this? My tentative theory is that we see the book moving from the realm of the mythic—from events that are passed down through the oral tradition and ancient written traditions—and into the historical, where the narrator has a greater array of sources, including eyewitness testimony, and begins to write with greater immediacy rather than the arm's-length style of myth and ancient history.

What I am curious about: As I dig deeper into these data, will I see this theory bear out in which episodes or characters/groups are granted actual dialogue? In other words, will characters and peoples lost to the mists of time speak less, as I would expect? Or will the type of dialogue (e.g., a formal speech that may have been preserved vs. an extempore conversation that would not) vary based on narrative distance? I have documented in the past that the narrator of The Silmarillion uses the "it is said/told/sung" construction more with characters who are less accessible, so there is evidence that Tolkien manipulated writing style based on what his narrators' access to various sources. Does he use dialogue similarly to communicate that "mythic distance"?

There are also chapters that are more expository in purpose (Valaquenta, "Of Beleriand and Its Realms") that do not contain dialogue. Without digging deeper into the chapters themselves, most of those without dialogue that aren't similarly expository are chapters where the material would be less accessible to Pengolodh as a narrator. Whether this bears added scrutiny remains to be seen!

Finally, in discussing these data on the SWG's Discord, polutropos noticed something interesting, which is that the chapter with the most dialogue—"Of Aulë and Yavanna," where almost 57% of the words of the chapter are given over to dialogue—was not in fact written by Tolkien. As document by Douglas Charles Kane in his book Arda Reconstructed, "This chapter is completely manufactured by Christopher, though using his father's own writings" (page 54). Where Kane usually includes a chart pointing to the source for each bit of The Silmarillion, his chapter on "Of Aulë and Yavanna" contains no such chart because, while he is able to document where ideas came from, Christopher actually wrote the chapter.

Interestingly, "Of the Noldor in Beleriand" is the chapter with the second most dialogue and, according to Kane, "The changes made in this chapter are among the smallest anywhere in the published text" (page 154). So Tolkien does sometimes write dialogue-heavy chapters—though without data to back me up (yet! it's coming!), most of that dialogue appears to come in the form of lengthier speeches, not necessarily the debate/conversation format of Of Aulë and Yavanna."

The biggest impact of the dialogue-heavy "Of Aulë and Yavanna," I suspect, will emerge as I dig more into the data on gender and who speak in The Silmarillion. Yavanna is one of the women who speaks the most in The Silmarillion, but almost all of her dialogue occurs in this chapter. If this chapter is constructed by Christopher, how does that impact the amount of speech women are permitted by Tolkien? Polutropos' observation spurred me to plan to document the source of the various dialogue sections: Are they original to Tolkien's writings or added? Kane, interestingly, is critical of Christopher Tolkien in Arda Reconstructed for what he perceives as Christopher removing women characters from the text. In this instance, we see a significant example of the opposite: a woman's role is not only expanded, but she is given an opportunity to speak.

[mxtxfanatic]

Repayment but Not Just Repayment or a Meta on the Wen Siblings' Sacrifice

Wen Qing and Wen Ning's sacrifice is probably one of the most under-discussed topics in the fandom. A few have tackled it from the viewpoint of debt—which is true and valid—but I will be coming at it from the angle of love, because although there is a debt that ties Wei Wuxian to the Wen siblings, it is inseparable from the genuine affection they each hold for him. Let's start with Wen Qing's last words to Wei Wuxian:

Wen Qing interrupted him, “I’ve never really said such things to you before. But now that it’s today, there are indeed a few things I should say. I really won’t get a chance to say them after this.” ... Wen Qing, “I’m sorry. And, thank you.”

—Chapt. 77: Nightfall, exr

Throughout the novel, characters seem to have a negative response to being told "I'm sorry" and "thank you" in serious conversation, as both seem to imply a tie of debt and accepting ownership of the debt. Jin Ling refuses to thank Wei Wuxian for saving his life or apologize to him for being disrespectful despite all the life-saving. Lan Wangji has a negative reaction to Wei Wuxian thanking him in many different scenes in the novel, so much so that Wei Wuxian comments on the fact that a lot of their bad separations were precipitated by Wei Wuxian's thanks. Even here, Wei Wuxian has a negative reaction to Wen Qing's words, especially as they come at the end of her speech about how the repayment she asked of Wei Wuxian has unintentionally led them all down a path of no-return. But Wen Qing isn't using it in this way.

As discussed here and here, the Wen siblings actually love Wei Wuxian outside of the circumstances they find themselves in. They do not tie themselves to him because of debt but because he has proven himself to be honest and genuine in a way that the other cultivators they had previously come up against had not. At the same time because of the debt, the relationship between the three is fraught with things that cannot be said lest they be misunderstood. Wen Qing never verbally thanks Wei Wuxian for bringing her brother's consciousness back; instead she treats his wounds and helps put together a family banquet in his honor where she even personally serves him food and alcohol. Wen Ning never verbally thanks Wei Wuxian for rescuing his family and bringing him back; instead he continues to act as his physical protector in both of Wei Wuxian's lives. Neither of them apologize for having implicated Wei Wuxian in the plight of the Wen remnants, as that would have been incurring another debt that Wei Wuxian would likely not accept. However, when the tentative stalemate with the cultivation world is broken with Jin Zixuan's death, none of that matters anymore. They are all at the end of the line and must make a choice: throw Wei Wuxian to the wolves or sacrifice themselves. They choose to sacrifice themselves in the hopes that it will spare Wei Wuxian:

Wen Qing’s voice was calm, “Wei Ying, we both know. Wen Ning is a knife, a knife that scares them, but also a knife that they use as an excuse to attack you. If we go, without the knife, they’d no longer have an excuse. This entire thing might finally be over.”

They can finally say what they want to say, which is that they appreciate what Wei Wuxian has done for them, that they see all that he has sacrificed, that they are willing to match that level of dedication, and that they, too, are willing to risk themselves to protect him as he had been doing for them for up to a year, now. For once, the "thank you" and "I'm sorry" isn't meant to emphasize a debt-repayment relationship. It is meant to liberate Wei Wuxian from them.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hey! 👋👋

Love the previous meta on Neville and Harry's friendship... Please share some light on the following text:

I think this idea is there, just not as explored as I would've liked it. It is just interesting that the Sword of Gryffindor chose Neville as the true Gryffindor but rejected Harry who is the Chosen One because he was chosen by the Heir of Slytherin. Idk, I feel like there is something there.

Anonymous asked:

In your last post about Neville and Harry's friendship, you mentioned something about the sword of gryffindor rejecting Harry, why? Also, would Harry fail to retrieve the sword in future if needed?

Hello to you too! 👋

Both anons are referring to this post.

Okay, so, like, I was just reading through the final chapters of DH when I was writing that meta, and it was something that I kinda thought about.

I mean, Harry says:

What was it, Harry asked himself (walking again), that Dumbledore had told him the last time he had retrieved the sword? Only a true Gryffindor could have pulled that out of the hat. And what were the qualities that defined a Gryffindor? A small voice inside Harry’s head answered him: Their daring, nerve, and chivalry set Gryffindors apart.

(DH)

The sword of Gryffindor could be pulled out only by a true Gryffindor. It's why Dumbledore's portrait tells Snape to hide the sword in a way that would force Harry to do something brave to retrieve it. The sword can only be retrieved by a true Gryffindor in need while committing an act of bravery. In book 7, we actually see Harry failing at the things that represented him most throughout the series.

He fails at being a true Gryffindor because he fails to retrieve the sword from the lake, Ron does. Symbolically, this marks Harry as not a true Gryffindor since he did the brave act, and it was not enough.

Harry also fails at casting a Patronus for the first time since the ending of book 3:

“But you can make a brilliant Patronus!” protested Ron, when Harry arrived back at the tent empty-handed, out of breath, and mouthing the single word, dementors. “I couldn’t . . . make one,” he panted, clutching the stitch in his side. “Wouldn’t come.” Their expressions of consternation and disappointment made Harry feel ashamed. It had been a nightmarish experience, seeing the dementors gliding out of the mist in the distance and realizing, as the paralyzing cold choked his lungs and a distant screaming filled his ears, that he was not going to be able to protect himself.

(DH, 248)

“come on, Harry!” said Hermione’s voice from a very long way away. “Patronuses, Harry, come on!” he raised his wand, but a dull hopelessness was spreading throughout him: How many more lay dead that he did not yet know about? He felt as though his soul had already half left his body. . . . “HARRY, COME ON!” screamed Hermione. A hundred dementors were advancing, gliding toward them, sucking their way closer to Harry’s despair, which was like a promise of a feast. . . .

(DH, 547)

Yes, he does cast one in Hogsmeade during this book, but I find it interesting he fails in this book at the spell twice. It feels important considering it's one of the spells that define Harry the most.

Harry is more depressed than ever and less of a Gryffindor than ever before in this book, even when he isn't wearing the locket. Book 5 is Harry at his most volatile (my favorite version of him) book 7 is Harry at his most shutdown and depressed. And him failing at the Patronus, one of his most iconic charms, is another sign of this depression and of Harry feeling less like himself. Less like the brave Gryffindor he was the whole series. He isn't any less brave, he's still so incredibly brave and strong — but he feels less brave himself, like his thoughts about himself.

Dumbledore died leaving him with a mission that feels too big on him that he doesn't even know what to do with. He has a very clear goal and no idea how to get there. Book 7 Harry is depressed, and desperate and feels defeated in a way he doesn't in the other books. There are multiple occasions in this book where Harry low-key wishes he was dead. That he wishes he didn't have to be brave.

His act of bravery when retrieving the sword wasn't one of noble courage but one of resignation, of wanting to get it over with. This is the type of bravery Harry has in this book. Yes, he wants to save people, but he also just doesn't care about himself all that much anymore and wants it to be over. To end. And the sword felt it.

So, yeah, I think him failing to retrieve the sword from the lake is a symbolic representation of that. Of the fact Harry changed over the course of the series and isn't the same true Gryffindor he was at 12. Trauma, loss, and pain changed him.

In the meantime, during book 7, Neville has the opposite arc. While Harry lost bits of himself and what made up his identity before (Gryffindor and his Patronus), Neville finds more of himself. When Harry isn't there he, Ginny, and Luna lead the D.A. and the opposition at Hogwarts. And when Luna and Ginny leave, Neville remains behind even when it's dangerous and keeps fighting.

He is so incredibly brave and strong and you see how he leads the students hidden in the room of requirement. How much they grew to respect Neville over the course of that year. How he protected others at his own expense and didn't give up. When Harry couldn't retrieve the sword, Neville could.

That's what I mean by Harry and Neville having subtle opposite arcs.

Neville builds himself up while book 7 Harry keeps getting torn down before finally he walks to his death.

I think, post-book 7, Harry would go back to being able to cast a Patronus reliably, but I feel like he might never be able to pull the sword of Gryffindor again. Kinda like a symbolic representation of something that died in him (not the Horcrux, I'm talking about trauma). It's why even though I want both Neville and Harry as professors post-book 7, I want Harry as Deputy Headmaster and Neville as Head of Gryffindor because he's the true Gryffindor that led the school when a Gryffindor was needed there most. Harry was a more distant figurehead, more a symbol than a person. Neville was the general on the ground while Harry was more of a king everyone rallied around. I don't know how to put it right, but I have feelings.

Like, this isn't an overt in-your-face sort of thing, but I felt like there's something there symbolically. Harry is still a Gryffindor, of course, he is, and always will be, but he says it best:

“And quite honestly,” he turned away from the painted portraits, thinking now only of the four-poster bed lying waiting for him in Gryffindor Tower, and wondering whether Kreacher might bring him a sandwich there, “I’ve had enough trouble for a lifetime.”

(DH)

He isn't a Gryffindor searching for action and adventure, he never really was, he always wished to be normal but took on the responsibility and sought out danger to save others because no one else would. But after everything, he feels even less like the adventure-seeking Gryffindor he is in the public's eyes.

These are just some thoughts I had while reading DH's ending 🤷🏻‍♀️.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm having a GREAT time

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Aug 2024 Week 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 7-8 of 12 - I do love these 2 a lot. It’s such a slow burn sweet comforting quiet little romance. It’s not complicated, it’s not stretching my thoughts or imagination, but it is easy and absorbing. I'm entertained by it without being taxed. And sometimes that’s nice. It's what Thailand does best.

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 3 of 10 - Oh I’m still enjoying it. It’s only episode three and they’re basically boyfriend’s palling around shopping together and hanging out on a bicycle. What’s not to love? Also he got to meet the in-laws. Well… eventual in-laws. Also the girlfriend character. I totally forgot about her. Good times.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 12fin - Baby faints. Bad guys caught and beat up a bit. Lots of romantic moments, come checking in with ALL the sides, and it ends.

Summary?

Classic CEO meets ingenue archetypes make for a somewhat banal and simplistic romance. This could’ve come from an 80s Harlequin, except that they’re gay. It's... old fashioned. There was nothing meta about this, there was no subversion or commentary on anything BL, queer, or beyond. It’s just a straight up (okay not straight) romance. I was not wild about these characters for this particular pair, but that’s not the pair's fault, they did a decent job with their parts and I look forward to their next show - here’s hoping it’s a bit more meaty. I preferred the side couple because they were more complex and true to BL archetypes, even if they were also a bit miss-handled. A serviceable show if somewhat lacking in its convictions, but with some beautiful sex scenes, people, and fashion. I was a particular fan of Lin‘s gender bending femme style. It’s groundbreaking to see that aesthetic on one of the leads. There were multiple times they could’ve leaned into well established plot points, paranormal elements, and character tension, and instead just glossed over them.

This should probably get a 7/10, but I’m giving it an 8 because of that one oppa line at the beginning, Tenon's tatas, and the call back to Big Dragon with that iconic musical refrain in the final episode. It was a pretty fun ride, emphasis on pretty and ride. 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 5 of 12 - Lots of kissing this episode. And lots of different kinds of kissing from the same two actors in various different forms and characters. I really liked it. It’s nice to see that this pair can mix it up a little bit, even if it's just with their lips.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 7 of 12 - OK the leg care massage was so boyfriend I can’t even. Who are they trying to fool? I love the way Ing always knows exactly what is going on. Thank goodness for that confession! I’m very much looking forward to the next episode.

(The socratic method, is it?)

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 9 of 12 - Still couldn’t care less about the hets. Yawn. Ah Jane’s ex shows up. (Is that Green? Hi baby!) Meanwhile, Jane gets worried and jealous. I loved Pah in this ep, and almost wish this were a show just about him. Like a grown-up Green Fictions. (Where tf did Poon COME from allasudden? He’s a killer actor. GMMTV better use him wisely.) Also, in that scene with Pat and P’Jo, they’re eating some of my favorite food. I got a little bit of linguistic negotiation with Khun Par Phi. Cuteness. And we end with some actual communication. Yay!!! It’s kind of hilarious to see OffGun in a tentative hug. I don’t think they’ve been that way for a years.

In fact, this whole episode was pretty much about communicating properly between ages and ranks within an office and social structure. I loved that. I’m liking this one more this week. It’s still not my favorite currently airing, but I think that mostly has to do with how much other good stuff is on right now.

SPEAKING OF...

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 3-4 of 12 - Uh huh, a game of one-up-man-ship is it? I think not. That boy wants to jump his cute stepbrother’s bones so bad that big brain of his is starting to melt. I'm here for it. Also, said sunshine cutie is clearly a big old cock tease. Everybody is happy about this. They sure know how to end these episodes on cliffhangers too. I don’t know how I’m gonna wait until next week.

I’m legit mad about how fucking good this is. After Unknown too?! Taiwan is spoiling us this year and THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING IT ALL ALONG.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 3-4 of 10 - Oh my goodness do I love this show. It makes me laugh, I adore the premise, I'm wild over the characters, and the acting is killer. I’m just really happy about this show, OK? I tend to sing and clap: Oh they so cute.

Baby got his first crush and he has no idea what to do about it. I ADORE how angry he is about it. Like... How dare I even consider falling in love with somebody? How annoying of me. It’s great. I even liked the girl in the confession and how cool and sweet they both were to each other over his rejection. Bang up job. This is fantastic BL of the newer modern style. (As contrasted to On1y)

These top two shows are neck and neck for best of the week, for entirely different reasons. But I love all my sons.

Speaking of...

Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) eps 7-8 fin - Oh it’s so adorable with the drama and the little subordinate coming to their rescue, and them meeting each other’s family. "I want to become someone who is essential in your life" = peak romance.

Summation?

I loved this little show. It was a classic office BL about the older workaholic who loves his job and the younger upstart who unexpectedly loves his boss. It’s a hyung romance where everybody is extremely earnest and sweet and pretty about everything. Except our seme, who is slightly unhinged and a little obsessed in all the ways one likes best from Japan. Plus the kisses were good! I can’t ask for anything more, utterly charming unexpected gem of a show. What a great time! 9/10

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - The lack of communication between these 2 may actually drive me insane. But I still love them. Such a sad ep. 

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 3 of 8 - Argh but also oooooo. I bet the uncut version was fantastic this week.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 5-6 of 12 - I'm starting to like this better. I’m still not convinced, but I did enjoy watching it this week. I’m getting some chemistry off the leads. Admittedly. that’s because they both behave like 16-year-olds. Surprise MosBank cameo - looking handsome as ever, boys. (Honestly, Taiwan really wants that King of the Cameos crown.) And FINALLY our side couple. I’m looking forward to next week primarily because of them. And I don’t even have them yet!

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - OK the lap cuddle was v cute. As was the handholding. But hiking with a metal griddle? Insanity. Might be the craziest thing in a BL this year. And The Sign aired this year. Meanwhile, not a dead fish kiss! Yay! 

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Sat Gaga) eps 1-6 of 8 - Gaga picked this one up so we can watch it there. I'm waiting until the end, it seems angsty and confusing and full of awful people being awful. But also... high heat and I'm shallow. So we shall see which devil wins (and how it ends).

In case you missed it

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. It's just taking me some time. This isn't really a bingable show, not for me anyway. It's A LOT to take all at once.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming SEPTEMBER 2024:

9/? The Time of Fever (Korea iQIYI) 6 eps - HoTae & DongHee are back! Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names I an WILD for this.

9/1 Live in Love (Thai Sun Gaga) 5 eps - Short series featuring and online romance turning IRL.

9/3 Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - Based on a manga, longer than usual run time. A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL. Here it is!

9/6 Kidnap (Thai Friday GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - Ohm Pawat is back for Frigays it's gonna be a blast.

9/7 The Hidden Moon (Thai Sat ????) 10 eps - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) ‘เดือนพราง’ by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger)... A Bangkok writer is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai which is being converted into a café. He gets into an accident and nearly dies on his way there. After that, he sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, one boy catches his attention. Was substantially recast.

9/9 Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) 12 eps? - Be gay YinWar, do crimes. Dehup gives us Yin, War, Mark and a few other familiar faces in a Leverage sitch, only queerer.

9/14 Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sat ????) ?? eps - Remake of the original. I'm scared too.

9/15 Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - Assistant to a player boss who is in love with that boss decides to quit to save himself. The boss then makes a move. (A gay What's up with Secretary Kim?)

9/17 Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 eps - Lawyer and a con artist meet at a bar, pair up, fall in love.

9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.

Adventures in miss-captions

(been a while since we had one of these)

SNICKER "nail you" and a "nail you down" = completely different things. But this being Japan they might have met either or both. (Cosmetic)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Why yes, you do have the prettiest lips in the biz. No need to tease us like that. (Battle)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

[yousaygoodbyeandisay]

The meta of Every You, Every Me final scenes is eating my brain.

So far, we have two scenes. In the second episode, the director yells cut, and we see what seems to be a bts of Top and Mick. Only it's not a bts. The camera is far away, and we are observing what happens when the director yells cut after a scene. They get their makeup fixed, and several people from the production come over. In that small snip of time, Mick (the actor) tries to open his bottle of water, and he can't. Top (the actor) grabs it and opens it for them. They were clearly filming episode 2.

Fourth episode, after a very devastating story, again, we get Top and Mick in a tent, Mick is getting a brief on what will happen next and is told he has 5 minutes of downtime before the next scene and Top is reading his script.

Some back and forth, and Mick (the actor) asks Top (the actor) to be his boyfriend. After very short deliberation, he happily says yes and teases Mick, saying he's using lines from Mr. Parinth, the name of the character from episode 2, saying if Mick was using Mr. Parinth's lines on him. (Thanks @pickletrip)

They were clearly filming episode 3 or 4.

It's layers upong layers of meta, and I can find two different takes (or both) that can be taken from these scenes.

The most cutting would be that this is a meta commentary on fan service and fan expectations on actors. Top and Mick are playing versions of themselves where they are now dating and flirting on their filming downtime. They, of course, date each other because actors can't just do and be good at their jobs. If what fans see on screen feels real, then the romance between actors has to be real too.

The softer meta take is that the actors being in love/dating is a bigger part of the concept of the show.

Literally, "Every You, Every Me". They are destined, including the actors (playing versions of themselves) playing these characters.

[phantoms-planet]

Barred Protection Chapter Seven

First

Misspelled J'onn's name the whole chapter, don't have energy to fix it, sorry

Daelus was unkempt. Hair loose and in his face, bags under his eyes. Batman had seen many people go behind bars but none of them fell apart this quickly. It had only been a little over a week after all.

“Are you here to ask where I got him?” A weak voice called out. “I made sure that there weren’t any records of that.”

“I know.” Batman responded shortly. “Where?”

“When I was first building my company, I went on the look for anything that could be used for healing. I found a group called the G.I.W and got in contact with them.”

Batman pursed his lips. He didn’t know this organization, at least not by acronym.

After a pause Daelus put his head in his shaking hands. “Please, I never meant to hurt anyone.”

“Except for Danny.” Daelus flinched at the words.

“I didn’t know he was really a child. They said he was…I believed them…God why did I believe them?”

 A twinge of sympathy found its way out. Batman ignored it. “Who is the G.I.W?”

“They hunt ghosts.” Daelus answered simply.

This resulted in a confused grunt. Danny wasn’t a ghost; he was a meta child. Ghosts existed, just look at Deadman for an example, and ghost hunters were nothing new, but as far as he was aware none of them ever boasted having ghosts in their possession.

It was usually amateur groups waving recording devices and different cameras everywhere hoping to catch their supposed ‘anomalies’. They were as incompetent as they were spiritual most of the time.

Daelus took in a shaky breath before clarifying. “They’re a government branch dedicated to the capture and eradication of ecto-entities, as they call them. I assure you that what they do is entirely legal.”

Now wasn’t that a concerning statement. How they got permission to do things like capture a young boy while the Meta Protection Acts were in place was, unfortunately, beyond him.

“Where is their facility?”

Daelus shrugged tentatively. “I don’t know, we met at an agreed secondary location to discuss the deal and for them to transfer custody over. In hindsight that was most certainly a red flag.”

Batman hummed his agreement but didn’t say anything, waiting for Daelus to simply tell him things. The man didn’t disappoint.

“They said he was a ghost that’s whole purpose was to protect people. Through experiments they found that his tears…his tears could heal people.”

“So you bought him.”

“I didn’t believe he was a ghost though,” The man didn’t seem to hear him. “Ghosts are silly. But there is proof of gods and god-like beings. Superman, for one. I thought…maybe if I could harness the entity’s need to help others, I could find a way to make his tears into medicine, and it worked!”

“I had spent so many years trying to synthesize cures and all I needed was Subject P’s tears to do what no one else had managed. There weren’t any negative side effects, the tears were easy to incorporate, it was perfect! Everyone was happy!”

Batman pursed his lips as Daelus lit up when speaking about his success. It was as if the man only saw the solution and not the horrific path to get to it.

Seeming to sense his rising frustration, Daelus deflated with a quiet mumbled apology. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Nothing made noise but the clock ticking away the seconds up on the wall.

It was Daelus who broke the quiet. “When I was in middle school, there was a girl who had a terminal illness. I wasn’t close to her, to be honest I found her unworthy of my time. But I noticed when she died.”

Batman rose an eyebrow at the sudden story.

“Everyone was devastated. I couldn’t stand the way the air felt. It was as if we were all suffocated by the grief of her friends and family.” Daelus pulled a hand down his face, a deep frown forming. “I never cared about her, but I did care about the aftermath. I knew then that I wanted to make sure no one else had to feel the grief her loved ones did. That’s why I made my company.”

There was a pregnant pause. “You could use some of my medicines for-“

“No.”

“But- It could help the boy get better!”

“I said no.” Batman pulled himself to his feet and swept his way to the door, nodding to the guards to let them know he was done for now.

“Please! Let me help fix this!” The door slammed shut on the rest of Daelus’s cries.

---

After being brought back to his cell, Daelus started pacing like a caged animal. He knew his cures could help the boy, he knew it would be better than healing without help, he knew Batman had to know this as well.

Surely using P’s tears on himself was a good use for them? Even with how they were acquired if there was anyone who deserved their healing factor, it would be the boy who produced them! After all, he had helped save thousands of people!

Dealus didn’t know what to do with the buildup of guilt and rage. He wanted to yell. He wanted to cry. By God he wanted to break something.

Batman wasn’t letting him help fix anything. It wasn’t fair. Shouldn’t he get the chance to right the wrong he had caused? Surely Batman, who sent his rogues to get help, would understand this.

Only it seemed like he hadn’t. There hadn’t been a moment’s thought into denying Daelus’s ideas.

He forced himself to stop pacing and start taking deep breaths. It wouldn’t help anything to simmer in his anger right then and it certainly wouldn’t do anything good for his already troubled mind.

Instead Daelus called over the guard and made a simple request.

---

The NastyBurger.

That is where he was at the moment. Sitting in a booth, eating a burger that didn’t actually have any taste to it. That’s when the green guy showed up asking to sit with him. Danny had obliged.

“Do you remember me at all?” The green man asked. Danny shook his head. “My name is J’ohn. I was there when we rescued you.”

Rescued him? That was odd. He wasn’t in any danger; he was sitting around eating fast food after all.

J’ohn’s face seemed to grow…concerned? He wasn’t really sure how to read that expression. “Danny, do you remember what happened to you?”

“You’re gonna have to be more specific dude.”

“The facility.”

The edges of his surroundings started fuzzing out. If he thought about it, and he didn’t, there felt like something wrapped around his throat and wrists. Then it all went back to normal. “No idea what you’re talking about. The only ‘facility’,” Danny used air quotes, “I’ve been in is my parent’s lab.”

This didn’t seem to make J’ohn feel any better. Whatever, it wasn’t his problem. “Look man, my friends are going to be here soon, I’ll…talk to you later, I guess?” Before J’ohn could stop him, Danny was booking it from the building.

What a weird man for real.

…

This time it was at school. J’ohn walked in on his gym class in the middle of dodgeball. He wasn’t hit once as he made his way over to Danny.

Oddly enough, no one else paid attention to him.

“Danny, we need to speak. Your mind isn’t healing well, we need to know what has happened to you.”

Danny snorted. “Dude, I told you; I don’t know what you’re talking about. Nothing has happened to me besides Dash trying to pelt my face in with a dodgeball.”

“The facility was real Danny. Please try to remember.”

Once again the surroundings fuzzed out but this time Danny wasn’t going to stand for it. Rage boiled in his chest. “I said I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Jhon was about to respond when a ball hit him square in the side of the head.

Danny ran into the locker room.

…

Surely as Phantom he would get a break from J’ohn, right? Surely!

Not.

J’ohn was floating right next to him now as he shot ecto blasts at Boxy. “Danny please, this isn’t healthy. You need to remember so you can begin to heal.”

Danny had had enough. Turning square onto the man he aimed both hands and- fury exploded outwards as J’ohn simply dodged the blast. “I DON’T HAVE TO REMEMBER ANYTHING!” Just like that the world ripped away, leaving them in a blackened void. “I don’t WANT to remember anything!” J’ohn stumbled as winds started whipping around him. “And you can’t MAKE ME REMEMBER!”

---

J’ohn tripped backwards as he was violently expelled from the young boy’s mind. Diana caught him and gently sat him down. He spent a moment just catching his breath.

Of course he understood, such a young child going through something this traumatic would be difficult to reach, but he realized too late that he might have picked the wrong route to get to him.

Batman grunted, asking for what happened.

“I pushed too hard. Danny won’t welcome me into his mind so easily again. He’s adamant that he doesn’t want to remember anything about what happened to him. He’s choosing to fabricate a life as if it never happened at all.”

“That’s…” Diana couldn’t seem to find the words. Even Batman was upset by the news.

Everyone had been so excited when they had found out that Danny’s mind had been clearing up, and worried when he stopped waking up. This was not the breakthrough they had been hoping for.

“Where do we go from here?” Diana’s voice was uncharacteristically fragile.

Batman reached over to lay a hand to her shoulder. “Now we go after the G.I.W.”

---

Frostbite had many regrets. His most current one was related to the collar latched around his throat. He knew he should have listened to Clockwork but standing by while Danny was hurt and captive hadn’t sat well with him.

He had grown so fond of the young boy, so much so that he had begun to see him as something akin to his own. More than anything it hurt deeply to watch as Phantom was abused and neglected. Frostbite refused to stay idle any longer.

Now he was in a cage, unable to help anyone.

He dreaded what was going to happen to him, and even more-so how it would affect Phantom. After all, the G.I.W weren’t known for their mercy.

For what seemed to be the hundredth time Frostbite looked around the cage he was in.

It was only just large enough to house him sitting down, glowing green in an ominous way, and the bars on the one side showed a lab that made his fur stand on end. There were needles, saws, scalpels, clamps, anything medical that could be used to open someone up or keep them properly down covered the walls.

A sterile metal table sat in the center of the starkly lit room. It was large enough for him to fit on, which did nothing to help his nerves.

Frostbite curled in tighter on himself. He hoped against everything that someone might come to rescue him before it was too late.

[lover-of-mine]

Hello and welcome to me being crazy about colors in media. Again. I feel like during season 7 there was the whole blue and yellow thing going around Buck and Eddie and I offered the theory that it could be like the blue and green thing, but for queer couples, since the show tends to use that color combo with Hen and Karen (here's that post if you want to see it), until @stagefoureddiediaz told me about a trend in media as a whole to use those two colors for queer coding, she mentioned red, white and royal blue and heartstopper as more recent examples but that this has been going on for a while. I'm gonna be honest, I don't watch a lot of movies, but the other day tiktok started to show me clips of Crush, it's a queer high school romcom, I had it on streaming, I was bored, I sat down to watch it, the movie is ridiculously blue and yellow, like, it's almost funny, I'm not gonna write a meta on that, if you get curious and watch the movie, there are blue and yellow elements to pretty much every scene, just pay attention lol. But that got stuck in my head and I was thinking about Love, Simon, and well, that movie also uses blue and yellow elements, in a more subtle manner, but it's there, rwrb also has details, like the lighting or color of ties, the same way they hide pride flags with elements of the scene. I never watched heartstopper, so I can't comment on that one.

Why am I telling you this? Well, if this is a pattern in media in general, then we have ourselves a solid theory. Crush and rwrb are more recent movies, crush is from 2022, rwrb is from 2023, but Love, Simon came out at the beginning of 2018. This makes the choice of making henren scenes blue and yellow very interesting.

You know me, I'm the blue and green person (extremely detailed meta on the blue and green), but I turned off the blue and green switch in my head and was going around wondering what counts as yellow. Because if we count warn lighting in general, the way it reflects in the background, Buck and Eddie are constantly surrounded by blue and yellow elements. There's a lot during under pressure, including the way the dialogue during the ambulance is "Practice rounds have blue caps, gold caps are live." while we have blue and yellow lights in the ambulance ceiling.

The blue and yellow elements are real, but while making my buddie in every episode series, I was watching season 3 with the blue and yellow goggles on, and I realized the lights behind Eddie during the tsunami are very much yellow, along with the blue tents and Eddie's uniform.

And once I saw it, I couldn't unsee it.

They even have blue and yellow beers.

So the blue and yellow during season 7, has to mean something. For both of them.

And with the way that Buck, Bothered and Bewildered is a blue and yellow episode, I kinda wanna say that the blue and yellow IS about queer themes.

But the reason I'm making this post is actually more insane than just making this point again. Buck and Eddie have 2 undeniably blue and yellow scenes before season 7. Scenes where they are dressed in blue and yellow. And those are very important scenes in my humble opinion. Because the first one is the will reveal.

This scene is one of the most important buddie scenes. And that makes the colors here very interesting if we add things like the way they wanted to make Buck bi in season 4 but fox didn't let them, and this scene reads as a love confession anyway. Having Eddie in blue and Buck in yellow could very much have been the way they found to add more significance to the scene.

But there's also the way that Eddie's shirt is to yellow the same way Buck's is to blue during the presentation of the couch theory (rip you will always be famous), which is, again, a choice, we also have the notepads Eddie and Chris are playing with are yellow and the beers are also yellow, and the way Chris is a blue element.

Everything here keeps getting me more and more convinced that they will go canon while in blue and yellow, not blue and green like other couples, because green is both their breakup colors, if we count the conversation with Kim as a breakup.

And personally, I think we can, because by my own standards, their first conversation is blue and green.

So buddie going canon in a blue and yellow scene makes more sense because it would be unique to them.

This is a very long way to say, let's be on the lookout for both of them wearing blue and yellow lol.

That's all for today, if you reached this, I love you 💜

[joannerowling]

I’m curious - why do you think Fred dying was necessary? I’m not disagreeing but I was devastated so I’m curious what your thoughts are! (Especially after your Percy meta 🤌🏻)

Many reasons! A Weasley always had to die in the last book because, as JKR put it, it wouldn't have been realistic for all of them to survive. They were too involved.

With regards to Percy specifically, well… Percy's return always had to come at a price, to really drive home how poor his decisions were. Percy's arc teaches the reader a lesson about family, and being careful about the sort of wedges you're prepared to drive between them and you, and why, because if you ever change your mind it might be too late, especially in uncertain times. Think about Covid, or the Israel-Palestine war, those are the sort of political situations which can create huge tensions and sometimes tear families completely, and needlessly, apart.

The point isn't really that Percy was in the wrong when he stood with Fudge in OotP, his real offense was his refusal to come back after that. He had ample opportunity to do so – he could have admitted his mistake, apologised, and the family would have forgiven him in time. Instead he wallowed in his pride and/or shame. Then the war truly started in DH and even if he'd have wanted to make contact it became either too dangerous or impossible (as he wouldn't have known where they were hiding). And then right as he finds them back again during the finale battle, right as he's making tentative connections (a joke!) with the member of the family he had the toughest time communicating with, giving us some hope for reconciliation and growth… Nope, it's too late.

It ALWAYS had to be one of the twins because they were the ones Percy had the most volatile conflict with. It could have been Arthur, but Arthur had already a close call in OotP and Percy's emotions over that had already been shown so it would have felt repetitive. Plus, as discussed in the previous post, Percy takes his "big brother" status seriously, so it HAD to be a younger sibling he failed to protect and ever fix his mistakes with.

What makes it worse (and therefore better! :D) is Percy COULD have been close with Fred and George: they are the closest in age after all. But the fact they were twins meant they were always their own little team within the siblings + their personalities didn't match with Percy's + they were all competing for Molly and Arthur's attention. (In fact i think there's a good chance that a young Percy at some point wished he only had one little brother instead of the twins, so it could be Bill & Charlie, Ron & Ginny, and him and whoever would be instead of the twins. Obviously, once one of the twins gets actually killed, it wouldn't have been a great memory. I know, i'm extrapolating a lot here, but some people in this fandom think Evan Rosier was fucking Luna Lovegood's mum so just indulge me lol)

ALSO (i'm stopping after that promise), does Percy's behaviour remind you of anyone? Ron is very Percy-like in DH. But unlike Percy, Ron needed to have a bit of Voldemort's evil soul hanging around his neck to make that kind of choice + he regretted it immediately and tried to come back + crucially he was ready to admit his mistake and work on his flaws. He sought the advice of Bill when Percy isolated himself. That's why Ron doesn't get punished, and also probably why Ron's a main character and hero.

Tl;dr: Fred's death is the inevitable conclusion of the tragedy that is Percy's arc about being too proud to solve minor conflicts with his family until it was too late.

[bite-the-bloody-hand]

Got some loose meta observations about Daeran floating around my head that might turn into a longer character observation post because I think way too much about where the devs choose to put characters on the map, but like. I love how wherever he's positioned on the hub maps he's always Keeping Watch.

In Kenabras, he's seated right at the door of the first floor bedroom, in the chair that has the best view of the entire Inn. He has an eye on all the exits and is all but guarding the door to the room where everyone sleeps.

In the Crusader camp, his tent is situated in such a way that he can keep an eye on the main entrance to the camp, the commander's tent, and all the communal areas.

In Drezen, I find it very interesting that he's right in the center road to the posh district, where he'd have full view of the markets, the main road, and the Keep. And if Camellia is in the party it's almost like he's barring the way to her moving freely through the city, keeping an eye on her coming and goings.

Then in the Nexus of the Abyss, he's positioned by the fire, the most central area he's been in since Kenabras. (I find it especially compelling because, if you leave him at the camp when going to Colophyr mines, he's the one that organizes everyone to get a secure camp together.)

He's always being watched, and always watching out.