#the more i think the less i understand so i have decided not to understand i guess

[fierceawakening]

Yes! That’s… less of a clear answer than I feel comfortable with to join a movement or admire its leaders, but it’s something.

I always get the sense in conversations like this that people are much more comfortable than I am just being like “who cares about the edge cases?”

I care about them, both because I’ve *been* the victim of things committed by people too deep in their mental illness for anyone who tried to convince them to stop, and because if we truly believe everyone is a person (which I see as a key tenet of leftist values and part of why I choose them over right wing values in the first place) then we believe some things are too cruel even for people who do horrific things.

So I don’t see it as an issue we can avoid.

Also like I’ve mentioned I work at a homeless shelter. The reason a lot of academically inclined leftists can talk about crime like it’s rare is because they don’t spend time in environments where people who’ve committed crimes are common. I don’t think they’re wrong that most people are basically good, but I think they can be naive about what it takes to convince someone crimes are not a great idea. If someone has a patten of criming, it’s because that’s what they believe works for them. Getting them to stop is about changing their outlook and habits, which is far from impossible but a lot slower and more bumpy than many people who never did much criming want to think.

Also I think a lot of people really don’t have an accurate picture in their heads of serious mental illness. I think very often people have an idea that even very acutely ill people are fairly rational, and you can usually help them deal with their anxiety, give them meds, whatever, and they improve a lot. Again, I don’t think this is fundamentally incorrect; disease isn’t destiny. But having interacted with a lot of people whose illness is particularly intractable, I think that people often have… the same kind of image in their mind, where they don’t really understand how incremental incremental can be.

There are many people, including one client I’m very morose about, who improve a little when treated well, but a little isn’t enough. My moroseness? That client has been banned for fighting, unless she appeals the decision and wins. I don’t *like* the thought that she’s going to lose her place here and that’s likely to only make things worse… but I don’t have the fundamental confidence to say that kicking people out for violence is too cruel, we can make sure it’s fine. Making sure it’s fine is very clearly above my pay grade, and while there are people with more experience and better degrees than me I don’t have the impression they’re less confused.

All of which says to me that deciding we’re ready to stop imprisoning people who do bad things is at the very least premature (and to their credit a lot of abolitionists do agree that prisons will be phased out over time.) I think it’s unrealistic not just in a way that paints a rosy picture of humanity (as a whole? My picture of humanity is also fairly rosy!) but also in a way that fundamentally ill prepares us to really help perpetrators in ways that matter.

[morhido]

Sighs. Okay yeah i have thoughts about cgi toothless.

First of all, why does he look so... slimy? He feels too smooth. Like they just stretched some scaly skin over a skeleton and let it walk around. Immediately offputting.

His body language is. Fine? Am i being nitpicky or does it seem just the tiniest bit less expressive? I'm guessing this is either the scene right after hiccup cuts him free, in which case he should be way more intimidating, or the fish-sharing scene, in which case he should feel a little friendlier and more curious around hiccup. It's a quick shot so i won't put a ton of expectations onto it, but i think it's worth noting.

Okay this is a legitimately cool detail though. He has a secondary eyelid!! You can see it slipping away when he opens his eyes. That's a detail exclusive to the books so i like that they included something as small as that.

Sighs again. And this is the shot that prompted me to make this post.

Look at the original, and then look at the cgi version. I could write an essay about how inferior the cgi version is in comparison.

First off, they flattened his face. I swear every iteration of night furies after the first movie has just been compressing their snouts until they're sufficiently 'cute' enough for the audience to forget they're supposed to be sleek and aerodynamic.

Second, his eyes. Absolutely radioactive. I understand using a brighter colour for his eyes, especially in a relatively darker environment to make him stand out and seem more fantastical. But. They're just so bright. It's mildly unsettling how saturated they are compared to everything else.

Third, his eyes. Again.

Toothless is supposed to be terrified but still threatening in this scene, and the original shot conveys that perfectly. If it's a threat, then by all means hiccup should kill it or at least run, but instead he draws a connection between both of them being scared of the other and decides to cut him loose instead. And that's the core of their relationship. Toothless is staring him down with a slitted pupil that could just as easily be interpreted as "fuck around and find out" but hiccup just acknowledges that there's a frightened, injured animal in front of him that needs help, and he helps.

Is any of that conveyed in the cgi version? No!! It's trying so hard to be cute that it's gone full circle back to just being scary. The wide-eyed stare, the dilated pupil, he's basically just saying "🥺🥺 uwu pwease i'm so cute and innocent don't kill me aha 👉👈". Which is a lot less of a compelling reason for hiccup to free him!! Plus the fact that toothless turns up to look at him instead of lying and accepting his fate like in the original, which only makes it seem even more like he's trying to show off how apparently adorable he is.

Idk. Just the difference between the in-your-face sanitised cuteness of "teehe you wouldn't kill little old me would you? 🥺" and the expert subtlety of his "please don't hurt me" of the original doesn't give me high hopes for a toothless that stays true to his character from the first movie. Even from something as small as this. He's gonna get woobified. I can feel it.

[carto0ncritter]

People are so desperate for LGBT representation, (specifically gay and lesbian couples), that they're willing to accept literally any homosexual ship regardless of the concerning elements.

Let's see, we have ass ships like

1)Stolitz - Stolas is an abuser, a r*pist, a racist man who has so many powers yet is emotionally fragile, passive and wimpy, a man who victimizes himself over and over, a man who emotionally neglects the child who desperately needs him for his sexual fantasies with his victim, a man who is the creator's pet, a man whose actions aren't wrong according to the writers, a man who can just blame everyone else around him but himself with no consequences

2) Catradora - Catra is an abuser too, but was treated like a cute kitty cat in s5 despite having done atrocious things, she was instantly forgiven with no consequences, and she ended up dating her sister and the biggest victim of her abuse

3) Huskerdust - I haven't talked about this one so far, but Angel sexually harassed Husk and never apologized, Husk himself sang "Loser, Baby" and as a SA survivor I felt like he was trying to say this to Angel: "Oh, you've hit rock bottom because of SA? It's your fault lol, accept that you're a whiny bitch and a loser even tho the problem is extremely serious and out of your control and just suck it up, I'm a loser too despite not going through the same thing you have, you're not alone in being a loser BUT YOU ARE STILL A LOSER BABYYY A LOOOSER" Like, ik the message was supposed to be how we're not alone in our struggles and how there's always someone who will understand and make us feel less alone, but the way this was handled rubbed me the wrong way. Also, I'm not sure whether or not to mention this as well (screw it, I will), but Husk is described as "the old bartender," his voice sounds like it belongs to an old dude too, and he apparently died when he was like, 70, while Angel died in his 30's. I'm not gonna calculate their ages based on how it works in Hell because personally I feel like it doesn't matter. What matters is how old they were when they were alive. But however you decide to look at their ages, it's not just the implied enormous age gap that bothers me, no... it's more so the difference in maturity between Husk and Angel. Husk is described as a dude who has seen and experienced a lot of stuff. On the other hand, Angel is clearly immature and there is this weird... emotional imbalance between them? It's like a mentor dating his apprentice, at least that's how I see it. I'm not saying dating someone who's 40 years older than you is morally wrong (if you're both adults) but IT IS WEIRD imo, especially since Angel & Husk are not on the same page when it comes to life experience and maturity. Oh yeah, I also don't think Angel should be in any kind of romantic relationship... for his own good

[neuvilette-tea-party]

₊ ˙ ⊹ Mon coeur, mon coeur don't cry₊ ˙ ⊹

Neuvilette x F!reader

You shudder in pain in your bed when your husband comes home to take care of you

Tags : hurt and fluff, periods pain, Neuvilette is a soft king, uses of "maman"

You curl up in bed and whistle in pain. 

Those damn periods! 

You shiver as another wave of pain and nausea comes shaking your body. You are absolutely miserable right now!  

“Mon amour?” You suddenly feel a gloved hand brushing a strand of hair off your face, “Are you all right?” 

You weakly open your eyes to discover Neuvilette looking at you with concerned eyes, caressing your temple and cheek. His long strands of white hair frame his delicate face as the light accentuates the violet color of his eyes. 

You growl, pulling on the cover. 

“My periods...  could not go to work today...” You manage to say between gritted teeth, pressing your knees against your chest in a desperate attempt to soothe the pain and tense muscles at least a little bit. 

His hand cups your cheek softly, his thumb grazing your cheekbone as he tilts his head. 

“Does it hurt so much, mon coeur?” He inquires, his worries identifiable in the soft tone. 

“It’s like a machine blending my organs!” You push your head in the pillow, tears behind your eyes. 

He leans forward to let a soft kiss on your temple, savoring the sensation of your skin against his lips. 

“Stay here.” He orders, standing back up. 

You look at him exiting the bedroom in silence before closing your eyes, swallowing back the torrent of curses at the gates of your lips. How liberating it would feel to scream them at the top of your lungs but Neuvilette’s delicate ears would be scarred forever! 

You shiver once more as the pain decides to head toward your lower back. It’s only 7 days, get it together! 

It’s only seven days... 

It’s only 7 days but holy Hydro dragon those are long, rough 7 days! 

You sigh lamenting for yourself, thinking about the earful you will receive at work tomorrow... You reopen your eyes at a delicious smell and the bed tipping. Neuvilette came back with a tray with a fuming hot chocolate with some Viennoiseries on a plate and a glass of clear, fresh water.  

“Sit down if you can, mon coeur.” He gently orders. 

You wince, trying to sit down, taking support on the pillows, and making yourself as comfortable as possible with your periods. You manage with more or less success. Once you are set you try to smile at him and not just wince unelegantly. 

Neuvilette smiles back gently and slips a pill into the glass of water that he hands to you. You sip the effervescent painkiller trying not to gag at the bitter taste of the medication, but the fresh water makes up for it. A water specifically chosen by your dragon lover, obviously. 

You finish the glass and Neuvilette puts the tray on your knees for you to feast on. You bite down the pastries and gulp down a big sip of chocolate with glee, getting a little enthusiasm back. He looks at you eating your only food of the day with a tender expression before opening the dresser to take out your fluffy plaid that he lays on you and a hot water bottle that he goes to fill and heat up. You sigh of pleasure when he lifts the cover to slide the hot water bottle inside and lay it on your upset lower tummy. 

“Thanks the Hydro...” You mumble. 

“I am here, mon coeur.” He shoots you a mischievous smile, “No need to pray for me, I am solely focused on you.” 

You feel your cheeks heating up and dive your gaze into the fuming chocolate cup. You are used to dating the Hydro dragon of Fontaine, but old habits die hard.  

“I called your workplace, mon amour. Your entire week is free.” He placidly announces, tucking you in bed correctly. 

Your bite almost goes the wrong way. 

“An entire week?!” You choke. 

He raises an eyebrow at you like he doesn’t understand. 

“You are not one to miss work for a simple cold, mon coeur. It looks worse than usual, you should rest and mend.” 

“I just have my periods, it doesn’t matter that I bleed to death, I have to be here!” You bitterly fight back. 

“No, you do not.” He simply closes the matter, “They were very understanding when I called them. You can stay in bed and rest.” 

“Of course they were compliant, you are the Iudex!” 

He sniggers, booping your nose playfully.  

“What good is my title for if I cannot even help mon doux amour during her time of distress?” 

You melt before his tender expression, abdicating entirely before him and- 

“MAMAN?!” A little girl’s voice resonates suddenly, making you both jump out of your skin. 

Horrified and trembling, Sigewinne stands in the doorframe, looking at you like you were dying in front of her. 

“Maman, are you okay?! We could smell blood from the garden!” She cries. 

“She is alright, Sigewinne. We are both here to take care of maman.” Neuvilette comforts her. 

She sobs hard and rush to you. Neuvilette has just the time to grab her to stop her as she helplessly extends her arms to you. 

“Maman is very sensible and uncomfortable right now. Be careful alright?” He explains. 

She turns her head to him and nods frankly, promising to be good. He releases her and she crowls in the bed to sit next to you, hugging one of your arms as you finish your cup and viennoiseries. 

“Go back to sleep, mon coeur. The painkiller will soon soothe you.” He kisses your forehead before taking your empty tray, and putting it on the bedside table. You wriggle your way under the blankets with a relieved sigh, followed by sweet Sigewinne, letting her snuggle against you. Neuvilette skirts the bed and slides under the covers with you, not even taking off his pricey jacket, and he hugs you tight, caressing Sigewinne’s head gently. 

“Make yourself comfortable, mon amour. I will be here when you wake up.” He promises, kissing the back of your ear. 

You hug your adoptive daughter and the hot water bottle as Neuvillette’s tall body spoons yours gently, shielding you from the rest of the world and the pain. 

You take one of his hands in yours and he intertwines your fingers together; letting a low purr arise in the bedroom, lulling you to sleep and peace. 

At last... 

[timegnosticproductions]

Ghosts: BBC vs CBS

It’s been almost a month since I finished BBC’s Ghosts, and I cannot stop thinking about it. It has quickly become one of my favourite TV shows. I watched the US-American version first because it had been plaguing my TikTok FYP. It was a fine show, but it didn’t have the grip the BBC version currently has on me.

This is an exploration of why I found UK Ghosts to be a much more compelling story than US Ghosts, even if they are “the same show”.

DISCLAIMER: There will be spoilers for both shows.

The Main Couple

Underappreciated in both shows, let’s begin with the two livings: Alison and Mike, and Sam and Jay.

Sam and Jay feel, to me, like they just spawned at the beginning of the show. They aren’t people, with lives before the fragments we see, which will continue after the show ends. Sam is the biggest offender of the two. Where are her friends from before she moved to Woodstone Manor? I would understand if she didn’t have any friends over, and we also have to consider that the US is massive compared to the UK, and her friends might live on the other side of the country. But not one call? No facetime? Not even one text message? And let me be clear: I don’t want this to be a show about her living friends, and I don’t need them to be characters in the show, but do Sam and Jay have to be completely cut off from the real world?

Alison and Mike, on the other hand, have a friend group, and when these friends play a role in an episode, the focus is still on the ghosts’ reactions. They don’t distract from the main characters, while still making Alison and Mike feel more grounded in reality.

Character moments vs. cheap jokes

I’m not the first person to point this out, and I certainly won’t be the last, but it’s still worth saying: why would you change a ghost’s powers from Mary reliving the moment of her death, being “burned at the stake” again, and subsequently making the living people that have passed through her smell the burning of the fire that killed her, to a fart joke. Isaac’s life/death is tragic, but his ghost power being “fart” get’s really exhausting really quickly.

Ghost lore

Expanding on ghost powers, let’s talk about the other ghosts. This point, I realise, is less black and white and more about personal preference rather than bad writing. I like that Ghosts (UK) doesn’t always directly answer the viewer’s questions about the afterlife. Some ghosts have powers, and some don’t and the ones that don’t aren’t searching for them. Mary gets “sucked off” but we don’t know what comes next.

In the US version, however, there is explicitly a hell and a heaven, and Elias comes back from hell to tell us what happens there.

That is one of the many charms of the UK version, the uncertainty. What comes next? I don’t want to know.

I also think it helps the emotional punch of Mary’s death (re-death, moving on? idk) land better. If one of the CBS ghosts were to die, the grieving wouldn’t be as devastating, because we know what comes next, and how could we be sad when a character has, certainly, gone to heaven? It could still be made into an interesting episode, maybe exploring the other ghosts’ (especially the older ones) jealousy, who also want to get “sucked off”. Still, I much prefer the uncertainty of Mary’s death (would also very much like to see a main character from the US version move on, just because I would like to see how they handle it when it isn’t a fake out like with Flower).

Found family vs. pair the spares

CBS’s Ghosts has an obsession with romance, to the point where it is quite frankly absurd.

You know when in a fandom there is a four-person friend group (or other even number) and two of those characters are in a really popular ship, so the fandom decides to ship the other two characters together as if they couldn’t be happily single, or aromantic, or whatever? (Author’s note: yes, aromantic people can still date, doesn’t take away from my point.) Yeah, I feel like that watching CBS’s Ghosts. Some characters are single, but I still think there is too much of a focus on romance/sex, with Flower and Thor, Isaac and Nigel, Hetty and Trevor, Pete and Alberta/Donna since he discovered his ghost power, and I’m sure when the series is over I will have more examples. Maybe, if these couples had more chemistry and were properly set up, I wouldn’t be so hard on them, but my point still stands.

Both shows try to pull off the found family angle, but only one of them succeeds. You can’t call it a found family if your only “family dynamic” is “romantic relationship”, that’s just a regular friend group. The Captain and Kitty’s father-daughter relationship is one of my favourite things about the original, and I also love Julian being a sort of mentor to Alison in all things scheming. It can even be played for laughs, with Robin being the “family dog”. None of this charm is carried over to the US-American version, and I really, really wish it was, because it has made me fall in love with the BBC’s version.

Pacing

You know, for a show with 20-ish episodes per season instead of six, you’d think they could take more than an episode to develop a storyline properly. Let’s take a closer look at two storylines that appear in both shows.

Firstly, the one with Alison’s/Sam’s long-lost sister. In the BBC’s version, this is a season-long arch, and it is not solely centred around uncovering whether she is lying, but also discussing Kitty’s jealousy and possessiveness over Alison; and Alison’s deep desire for a family, and how the ghosts have become that for her. And, generally, it makes you believe that Alison would believe the lie, and wouldn’t see the holes in the story, because she just really wanted a sister. Sam’s story plays almost the same but is reduced to a single episode. I know it is the classic sitcom formula, things must return to the status quo by the end of the episode. Still, I wish it wasn’t so rushed.

Secondly, the Captain(s) coming out. In both shows, the queerness of these characters is very obvious, but in the UK version, coming to terms with his queerness and learning to express his feelings is the core of his character. However, the US version takes this in another direction, placing more importance on the budding relationship between Isaac and Nigel (see: my point about this version’s obsession with romance). The UK version is hardly subtle, but compared to the US version… I wouldn’t be so angry if they hadn’t decided to undo their development by having Isaac leave Nigel at the altar.

Bad people vs. bad characters

This discussion should extend beyond Ghosts and into literature/art in general. To quote Oscar Wilde, “It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.” A character being a bad person doesn’t mean they are a bad character, those two qualities can coexist, but don’t always come together. CBS’s Ghosts seems wary of making any of the characters bad people. BBC’s Ghosts doesn’t have this problem. Julian (the equivalent to Trevor in the CBS version) is a bad person, especially at the beginning of the show. And he is probably my favourite character. He died of a heart attack while cheating on his wife, he didn’t bother to take care of his daughter and he attempted to kill Alison, which ultimately resulted in her being able to see ghosts. He is not nice, and the show doesn’t want you to think that. And you watch him grow throughout the series and it is great.

None of the characters in the US version are bad. This is mostly just a pet peeve of mine, but I do think it makes things much more static. Everyone in this version is just too nice. And too excited about everything. Why is Sam so onboard with the ghosts? Why is she never annoyed with them? And why do they never talk over each other? Do they never get tired of each other? I mean, some of them have been “living” together for centuries!

This topic in particular is something I want to write about more extensively, looking at other shows and fandom perception and that kind of stuff, so I’m going to cut myself here.

Conclusion

I don’t think that CBS’s Ghosts is, like, the worst show ever, it just doesn’t live up to its predecessor. That was just, from my point of view, a really high bar. There is one thing I think it does better than its BBC counterpart, and that is Jay’s relationship with the Ghosts (as opposed to Mike’s), which is to say, he actually has one.

So, yes, CBC’s Ghosts has lots of issues that may come from adapting the story for an American audience, or may just be lousy writing. Either way, I still enjoy it, although the episodes are definitely harder to get through.

[hotchshands]

Chapter 2 |Falling Behind

Masterlist | Taglist | Other Chapters

Summary: It's been a month since the start of the semester, and Hotch's lecture was kicking your ass. You couldn't help but get distracted by your professor, and the material was beyond difficult. Professor Hotchner begins worrying about your success in the class and thinks about how to help you.

Word Count: 1.1k

Contains: use of she/her pronouns

A/N: Check out my other series, Somebody Special! Also, I think I forgot to mention this is a fem!reader piece... my apologies for any confusion!

It's been a month since the start of the semester, and you were already starting to feel the stress. You were in your junior year of undergrad, aka the worst year in anyone's academic career. On top of your classes, you worked a part-time job at the local coffee shop and were an active member of the school paper. It's safe to say you were way in over your head, but in your mind, you had to keep busy to avoid the anxiety of academia.

Professor Hotchner's class was by far the most difficult. It was so difficult that you considered dropping it entirely, but it was too late now. You were stuck with the hot teacher and his high expectations. Thankfully, the TA helped explain the information the professor gave during the lectures. However, it wasn't enough.

Hotch started to take notice three weeks into the semester. He saw how you looked less at him and more at your notes (or lack thereof). After the first two weeks, you took fewer notes, sometimes none. He profiled that it was due to a lack of understanding of the material rather than carelessness. He knew from the first time you met that you were a dedicated student. It was your dedication that made him happy you enrolled in the class. Lately, though, you seemed stressed, so he decided to talk with your TA, the infamous Spencer Reid.

"Come in," Hotch announced upon hearing a knock on his office door. Reid walked in and greeted Hotch before sitting down in the chair in front of his desk.

"Thanks for meeting with me. A while ago, you mentioned that you were concerned about someone in your section. That student wouldn't be Y/N, would it?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah. How'd you know that?" Spencer responded.

Hotch knew he shouldn't express favoritism among his students, but he had a soft spot for you, though he'd never admit it, especially not to his coworker. "Well, we talked briefly, and I just had a feeling something was up," he answered.

Reid nodded. "Well, she's been having a hard time with the material. She never engages with the information or offers up any thoughts. She's fairly quiet, even when I know she has a question."

Hotch sighed. He knew his class was challenging, but he hated seeing a student fail to understand the material, especially when that student was you. He held office hours weekly, but students rarely used them. Perhaps he could lend you a hand.

"None of the students seem to use the office hours, so I would remind her that they are there for students to use, and I encourage all my students to use them," Hotch stated, hoping that Reid would pass the message and that you would listen.

"Will do. I can also refer her to tutoring services," Reid said.

Hotch wanted to disagree, but instead, he nodded. He shouldn't deny a student resources simply because he wanted to be the hero. He has seen this sort of thing plenty of times before. Most students either withdraw or fail the class. He didn't want to see that happen to you.

Reid could tell Hotch was worried about Y/N. Usually, Hotch was tough on all his students, so it was odd to see him have a soft spot for one. "I'm sure she's going to be fine, Hotch. In fact, I just finished grading the first round of quizzes, and she got a B," Reid said, pulling a file out of his bag and handing it to the professor.

Hotch looked over the paper with a big B written at the top in red. He sighed in relief, knowing you were a bright student, but the first quiz was the easiest. He expected all students to get an A on it, but things would only get harder for you in class if you got a B.

"It's just one quiz. I will have a chat with her after class today. If she uses the office hours, I'm sure she'll improve," Reid continued, trying to be optimistic about your situation.

"Thank you. I hope you're right," Hotch said, handing the quiz back to Reid.

"I always am!" Reid replied before leaving Hotch alone in his office.

You walked into the classroom five minutes early, anxious to see what you got on the quiz. A few students were already there, including your TA, Dr. Reid. Reid smiled at you as you walked in, and in return, you smiled back. That had to be a good sign! You thought to yourself as you took your seat.

Despite his tenacity to babble about crime statistics, Dr. Reid was a great TA. He cared for his students and was much less intimidating than Professor Hotchner. However, that didn't make the material any less challenging.

Once class started, Dr. Reid announced that he would return our quizzes from last week. As he walked around the classroom, your leg started shaking in anticipation of your grade. When your quiz landed on the table in front of you, you stared at the big fat letter B at the top of the page. The grade wasn't bad, but you haven't gotten a B since high school math. You reviewed your quiz to see where you went wrong, as your TA reviewed the answers in grave detail.

After class, Dr. Reid called for you to stay behind, which only made you more anxious. What could he possibly want to say to me? You pondered, walking toward him, quiz in hand.

"Y/N, I wanted to chat with you about your quiz," Dr. Reid began. "I noticed you've been struggling with the material a bit more than others. So, I wanted to check in and see how you feel about the course."

You gulped before responding, "It's difficult, that's for sure, but I can handle it."

Reid nodded. "I spoke with Professor Hotcner, and he told me what a bright student you are, but we've seen this kind of thing before and just want to ensure you succeed. That said, we both agreed that you might want to visit office hours. They're after the Monday lectures, but if that presents a conflict-"

"No, I can make it!" You interrupt him, jumping at the opportunity to be alone with your professor.

"Great!" Reid grinned. "I hope they become helpful to you, but if not, the university has a tutoring office I can refer you to."

"Thank you, Doctor, but I don't think I'll need the tutoring services. I'm just not sure if some Graduate student can help me with this material," you said.

"Very well. I'll see you on Monday." And with that, you leave the classroom, excited for Monday to come.

Taglist: @targaryenswhxre @none-of-your-bullshit @chicagotrio101 @barbeddreams @adrienneleclerc @reidfile @spencerreidsshoelaces @justwinxit

[starriegalaxy]

For your cute prompts, imagine this: Sun, in all of his petty glory, is very offended with Y/N leaving the Daycare early recently. He decides to pull a prank by locking the door so Y/N cannot leave, and sassily hangs the key on his wrist ribbons. The only way for Y/N to "earn" their escape is by playing with him and having a tea party with his plushies.

Hi again Amary! Sorry this took so long ack - finally got to finish it this morning so pls enjoy 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Title : Leaving So Soon? 

Tags : Fluff, romance, romantic-leaning, female reader, set in Fear Factor AU, Sun-centric

Rated : Teen and Up Audiences 

Synopsis : Sun was a little salty that you were leaving early so he devised a little plan to make you stay just a tad longer …

Tagging @kaprisvn @hexcii @sun-e-chips @nighternex & y'all Sun lovers 🫵🏻

----------------------------------------

“Flower.”, you said, patience wearing thin in your tone. 

Sun places the door bar in place and locks the gates with a key he procured from somewhere. You had been busy cleaning up when you spotted Sunny blocking your one exit. You had an assignment due in a couple of days and you really wanted to get a headstart… You supposed that telling him that caused him to do this. 

Sunny turns around and gingerly places the keys on his wrist somehow, with a clink near his bells. “Sorry. Leaving so soon? I'm afraid you're going to have to earn your freedom tonight, Doll.”, he turns around, overly smug with his tone as he walks back towards you. With a crease in your brow and your arms carefully folded over your chest, you regard him with an urge to smack his faceplate. 

You need your hand though so you quickly shake off the feeling. He takes a seat out from the kiddy tables and gestures to it while saying, “Take a seat, precious. You're going to need it.” You take a quick inhale, exhale and trudge over to the chair. Sitting down in it hastily, he calmly takes his own chair and sets the teacups properly, one each for the participants, even including the Glamrock plushies. You refuse to think it's cute. Huffing again as you reach for the cup he offered you, fingers brushing briefly, you bring it to your lips in a mock sip. 

“Well then, you may start.”, he gestures with his hand in a gentle sway towards you. An excruciatingly long sigh leaves your lips when you finish sipping. “How was your day, Mr Sunny?” His eyes upturn and his rays spin once. “Quite pleasant actually. I just got started with trying something new-”, he went on a tangent where there was a new method that could calm a child from crying quicker. Your eyebrows scrunch fondly over how his body language was less tense compared to before. 

Most likely, he was throwing a fit over how little his time with you was. Admittedly being late for tonight's date, you apparently had no business not making up for it. Oh but you couldn't help but worry about your assignment even when he managed to rope you into this ridiculous impromptu tea party etiquette lesson. Your fingers thrummed across the table in distress and your legs shook anxiously. Sun’s rambling ceases and he goes quiet. Shoot. You stopped listening like 10 minutes ago. 

“Do you really have to go?”, his tone goes solemn. Your lips crease in a guilty frown. He can't use that tone every time you have to go do something… Lifting up from your chair, you walk over to him, gingerly plucking the teacup from his hand and batted away at his arms so you could sit on his lap. “Baby, I know I was late tonight. I just - This assignment is really important. I'll make it up to you, I promise.”, you caress his face gently. He pulls you in for a hug and you return it fully.

Man, it still threw you off whenever he acted like this. Clingier and more honest with his feelings. It's not bad, just flustered you is all. You pull away slightly to say, “There's a good boy. Thank you for understanding.”, and kiss his cheek appreciatively. “...a few more kisses, please?”, he utters softly. Again, that tone. “And you say I'm the temptress most of the time.”, you joke fondly, putting your forehead against his. “You are. I just… please.”, his hands settle on your waist comfortably, warmth seeping into his hands. 

Unfortunately, you were bad at resisting these boys' requests. “...Of course, c’mere.”, you bring his faceplate closer and he melts into the kisses instantly. 

Seems like that homework will be delayed one way or another, huh? But you're gonna ace it in time anyways so have faith and kiss that robot in the meantime, little security guard. 

The End. 

[rafyki]

Episode 11 really showed Jack's growth

Okay, I know what you're gonna say: "but he lashed out at Joke! He threw him away again! He got so angry!". And like- yes he lashed out, yes he didn't stop to think, yes he got extremely angry. But that literally happened in the first ten minutes of the episode, alright? There's more than a hour after that, so please let's focus on everything else that happened too, and the fact that Jack acting like that literally only lasts for a short while (as I already said, everything happens extremely fast in this episode, if you really think about it he only stays made for less than a day, which is a perfectly valid period of time to need to sort through complicated feelings - hell, it's an incredibly short time, Jack got over himself extremely quickly).

Anyway, lemme go in order, because I'm not just talking about his relationship with Joke here, but about everything else too.

There are two main things about Jack's character arc (well, more than two, but I wanna focus on these ones now): first, his tendency to hold grudges and be hard on forgiveness and, second, the fact that he never stands up to power and powerful people in an active way (I'll explain better what I mean later).

As for the first, I made a whole other post about it, so I'm not gonna repeat everything again, but let's see how in this episode he got to the end of his growth in this aspect.

He's extremely mad at the start of the episode (rightfully so), so much that he goes on a rampage (we love to see it, tbh), even though he should know that it wouldn't end well.

When he wakes up, he's still mad - of course he is, he didn't have time to think and process everything yet, given that he was beaten unconscious until now. He gets mad at Grandma when she mentions Joke, and then he lashes out at Save and Hope. It's understandable.

But then? Then it only takes Hope saying this for him to calm down and put things into perspective

I think it's important to point out that here it's only been maybe a few hours since the hospital scene. And here, Jack finally has time to think.

This it when he finally stops and thinks and realizes that he was wrong, that he didn't have any right to be mad at Save or Hope (or, well, he does, but how should also be able to understand their positions, because he's been there too), because they're all in the same situation in the end; and he realizes that Joke only did what he did for him. This is the moment when he finally has time to think and realize he was wrong (both about Save and about Joke), realize that he doesn't want to lose Joke, that he misses him.

Let's not forget that the start of Jack's character growth was to learn to forgive. And here, he shows that he's finally able to do this.

He works together with Save and Hope, he trusts them. Why didn't he call Joke to join them then? Well, I think he probably wanted things to calm down first so that after that he would have the time to actually talk to Joke. He didn't have the time to do that in the end, and that's the tragic thing.

But we know that's what he planned to do, because that's exaclty what he says.

Anyway, let's move on or this will become way too long lmao

It's not only in terms of learning to forgive that Jack grew. It's also in the way he finally decides to actively act to oppose Boss.

I mean, Jack was caught in Boss' web of power since he was young, and he's had to deal with the fact that he couldn't escape it, couldn't defeat it, for years. And so, he always submitted to Boss, in a way.

Yes, when he was a debt collector he went against him, in secret (and sacrificing himself and his own money), until Boss found out and Jack had to bow his head againt before him. When Gradma was in the hospital, he let himself in Boss' grasp again and even when Joke and Grandma slapped some sense into him his way to oppose Boss was to simply tell him he didn't want to marry Rose anymore, but was still willing to work for him; now, we know that that only worked because Joke had stolen the ring. What would have happened if Joke hadn't done that? Boss would have refused, of course, and Jack would have had bowed his head again.

Until now, Jack's actions were often passive, a result of him having no choice. Even when he played the ladder game against Lompran, that wasn't a real choice.

Not now, though. In this episode, Jack finally realizes that he can't keep doing it, that he needs to fight back for real. And this is the first time that Jack realizes that he can't always do the morally correct thing if he wants to defeat people like Boss.

Jack has always had really solid morals, and he's always lived by the fact that he needs to be better - better than the corrupted people in power who use them and look down on them. And that means he can't accept theft as a valid way to fix things, even if it would be justifiable and it would make things easier. But he can't do that, because that would mean that he's just as bad as them. Poor people are always expected to do the right thing.

Until now. Because now Jack has finally realized that he can't play it fair against people like them, he understood how that world works, and he realized that he needs to play following their game's rules.

He's learned the power game's rules and he's ready to play.

And that's what he does. He's able to take advantage of Lompran's greed and use it for his own ends, and he's not afraid of risking his own or Save's life - because he knows at this point that they can't play it safe anymore.

He played the game but he also kept his morals, because he still didn't do it for himself; he played their game but he's still better than them

Jack has mostly been a passive force until now, but in this episode he's finally the active force - he's the one with the plan, the one who takes the lead. (Joke, on the other had, has always been the active force of the show, and in this episode he's the passive one, but I'll make another post about this another day)

And I think this will be obvious in next episode too, when he'll (finally!) get a gun and do everything that's needed to save Joke and everyone else from Boss.

And he finally understood that the world isn't black and white and that sometime you need to do something "bad" to fight back, both for youself and for others. And that that doesn't mean you're a bad person.

[lemotmo]

You and she and several others are correct. Everyone needs to take a breath and relax.

Q. So you just have zero expectations for the mid season finale?

A. No, I have what I would call realistic expectations for the mid season finale given where we are storyline wise. And where we are is at the very beginning of storylines. Especially for Eddie. The reality is we are only 8 episodes in, and 3 of those episodes were used for the opening disaster which means no real storyline movement. The storyline episodes we did receive were basically used to clean up either what Tim meant to do or regretted doing last season. Getting Bobby back as captain. Breaking up Buck and Tommy and getting Maya back to Hen and Karen. I also think episode 9 was clearly supposed to be the original mid season finale episode, which is why they filmed it before wrapping for the year. So episode 8 was supposed to be a kind of penultimate episode, meaning basically a set up episode. So it's probably not going to feel like a traditional finale episode. But lots of shows on ABC will now have that problem because ABC decided to wrap up for the year 2 weeks earlier than people were expecting. Most shows expected the Thanksgiving break and then to have one more episode before wrapping for the year so lots of their shows will likely have disjointed mid season finales. This is not going to be a strictly 911 problem. Another issue, which I completely understand and agree with, is there has been entirely too much Athena focus. She was basically 85 percent of the first 3 episodes and was more than half of last week's episode and that theme sounds like it's continuing with the mid season finale. So 5 out of 8 episodes have basically been Athena centric and that is too much too close together. Especially considering how much screentime she ate up at the end of last season as well. People are Athena'd out. Angela Bassett is a total badass so I understand them wanting to utilize her but it's too much and at this point it's irritating most people because it's coming at the expense of the entire fire fam and no one wants to sacrifice their screentime for cop Athena screentime. I do think people would be slightly less annoyed if we had a bit more focus on the 118 characters as opposed to so much Athena.

The other big problem is Brad. I genuinely don't want to see him again after this coming episode. Callum seems absolutely lovely and the initial use of him prior to Bobby returning to the 118 was fun to watch, but in typical Tim fashion, it's been dragged out too long and now it's just in the way. So that's even more screentime being used on someone the audience genuinely doesn't care about. But the moment people started loving and interacting with Callum it was inevitable that Tim would change course and drag his arc out longer. Between Athena and Brad there just hasn't been enough time to give to Eddie, Hen and Chimney. Buck has had decent focus, but again that's because they initially intended to break him and Tommy up last season so they had to spend time fixing that at the beginning of this season. This is where we are storyline wise. So people going into this episode pissed off that Eddie isn't going to say he's gay, which I don't think he'll say even when they get to the sexuality arc, makes no sense to me. We are at the very beginning of Eddie's storyline. A realistic expectation for his character in the mid season finale is deciding to go get Christopher or having a nice video chat with Christopher that indicates positive movement on that part of the story. That's it. That's where we are for Eddie right now. A realistic expectation for Buck is him deciding to go out and enjoy his new found freedom in his newly expanded pond. That's it. Anything else we might get from them in the mid season finale would just be a nice surprise. And we might get something but I'm not expecting anything from a Buddie standpoint. Their storyline is going to be in 8b and I think it will be early. And once it starts I expect it to move fairly consistently because I do still think episode 12, the 118th overall, is still the plan for their first kiss. The first part of this season did not go how anyone predicted so I understand the frustration but everything indicates Buddie is a when at this point not an if. They're going to tell the story on their timeline not ours.

Thank you Nonny. 😋

Yeah, I'm just going into this one not expecting anything big for episode 8. The only thing I'm desperately hoping for is some Eddie and Chris interaction. I really think that the Brad & Eddie conversation Callum talked about will be about Chris. Nothing else would make sense at this point in Eddie's story. I'm also still hoping that we'll see Eddie leave to Texas at the end of the episode to go get Chris.🤞

After 8x06 I am now completely sure that Buddie is coming. I said that before. For me that episode showed me all I needed to see in order to fully believe. But I admit that we all miscalculated the timeline Tim would go for. He is obviously using 8a to close all the storylines he began in season 7. 8b will be treated as its own mini-season.

The only storyline that will still be unsolved will be Eddie's and I think Ali is right to think that his story (and the eventual Buddie story) will come to the forefront in 8b.

That's about all I wanted to add here. 😋

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[reignpage]

hello

what's your process of writing smau's? like the idea and how do you decide to implement it and everything?

thanks in advance and pookie don't forget to rest

Saw this a while back and finally have time to answer

I've already touched on this in my recent Announcement

Here is my start to finish process:

I have a list in my notes app of story ideas divided by smau and fic

and within smaus, they're further divided by angst/smut/fluff

Many are popular plots like

Clingy? (they call you clingy)

Birthday Girl (forget your birthday)

And the others are things I've just thought of for example:

A New Friend (or more popularly known as 'Keiko')

Tell Your Friends About Me

When it comes to making a smau, I first have to ask myself what kind I wanna make

To make a oneshot, my process is:

Start with Gojo (I always go in order of their appearance, it's just easier to transfer the screenshots from my phone to my laptop and organise them when they're already in order)

Change the contacts (his picture and name)

And text myself my initial thoughts

Most of the time I never plan what I'm going to say, like the plot for each character or the exact wording, it just comes to me naturally. But there are times when I have to trial and error what feels best. Regardless, there's a lot of deleting happening. Which is why I prefer the single page layout because then if I have to start over because of a mistake or typo, I don't have to recreate as many lines. It's less tedious.

To make a series, I like to generally follow a 4 part stage:

Problem

Confrontation

Explanation/Grovelling

Resolution

Which is why I was actually surprised a couple people thought I was excessively making parts, because looking through my masterlist, that just doesn't seem to be the case

Anyways

Each part and each character are like episodes of a telenovela in my head

That's why some people might think the conversations end suddenly and then people have to read back to understand the new part. I never thought that was a bad thing. In fact, it was actually quite intentional. These messages are dramatic like Vampire Diaries or Greys Anatomy and not realistic because realism is boring.

The children yearn for escapism!

Sometimes there's even minor time jumps between parts where reader has avoided the men for a couple days for example. Each character's plot plays out in my head like a show is the best explanation I can provide.

It's the same for the Modern au!smaus

Some people didn't get the Modern au!Nanami ones because they couldn't tell when a text is a pre-relationship text or when a text is during their relationship

First 3 texts are pre and the last half are established relationship texts Some texts are a continuation of a story, others are a snapshot of a moment in their lives

So it might not make sense immediately and that's because it's not supposed to be linear

It's like an episode!

Think of the Modern au!Nanami one titled 'Newton's first law'

First text is a snapshot of their first every conversation From reader's perspective, it's their first time meeting So in the beginning of an episode, it'd be like a flashback Then the episode picks up where we left off from the pre-relationship timeline, when Nanami got fed up because of the drunk party stunt reader pulled, and reader apologises and begs for another chance. The third pre-relationship pic is still following that event in the episode, but is a couple weeks into the future, where reader has kept her promise and been distant, which Nanami picks up on. THEN the three next pictures are in the present time, during their relationship, and we see they're having an issue, they even go on a break. But the episode ends with them reconciling and it all connects back to the first pic (the snapshot of their first conversation) with a reference to a text reader sent nanami

See my vision?

It might not be executed perfectly, but I hope you guys can at least see where I'm coming from.

If you've made it this far, you're a champ

Once I've reached the final character

Either Sukuna (or Shiu) in my 18+ works or Toge

I crop the pictures and I create a post on Tumblr using my laptop

I colour the title using a website

Paste it on the post

Get my template:

Smau: in which they/you..... Warnings: ..... Featuring: Gojo, Geto, Choso, Toji, Nanami, Sukuna/ Yuji, Megumi, Inumaki

I copy and paste the tags from my notes app (I do not type them out one by one anymore it's tedious work) and just edit out the inappropriate tags like if it's not smut, I'll take out every 'jjk character smut' tag etc.

And then transfer the pictures from my phone to my laptop, and then place the pics into Tumblr

I do final checks

Sometimes I forget to crop a picture or I didn't screenshot a character's conversation (I have to take a lap when this happens because that means I have to change out the contact pic and name and scroll up and go through the process ugh)

But if all looks good on my front, then I don't hesitate to click post!

Thanks for reading and hope that was informative!!!

[shakytailstudios]

Savate Syndicate AU Chloe!

Sometime after her banishment Chloe would fall in with the Savate Syndicate a New York gang of martial art using criminals who saw potential in her skills and her a means of escaping her abusive circumstances as she donned the new name Cleo.

Her hair prematurely began to grey due to stress related to her parents, it actually stopped doing so after joining a gang. Apparently deadly fights to the death are less traumatic than her family.

Note, she should be older here, 18 at least, but I only had so long to spend on the model so I mostly sharpened up the face somewhat and couldn't expand the arms as I wanted too for shape key reasons.

I wrote a snippet covering these elements and shared it with @princess-of-the-corner but it can now be seen here!

This song also fits.

Chloe's life... Had not gone the way she planned.

Then again, she'd never had much of a plan, not really. She let other people plan for her, trusted them, believed in them.

Letting the likes of Lila and Hawk Moth lead her along with their machinations and grand promises. Trusting Andre decide what was "Worth" learning, like reading, or trusting that once she met her mother's standards things would just work out. Or believing Ladybug thought she could be something good and worthwhile.

Queen Bee was the closest she'd come to a real plan, be a hero.

As Chloe wiped another person's blood off her knuckles and glanced around the human ruin she had made of the man's & his guards she chuckled.

'I'm about as far from hero as one can be.'

"Having fun, Cleo?" A pleased, authoritative voice intoned.

Turning, Chloe saluted the head of the Savate Syndicate, "I think its important to enjoy what you do, sir."

That drew a genuinely amused chuckle from the man as he clapped her on the shoulder and intoned. "Good work here, just what I have come to expect from you."

& there it was, just a simple thing really, they didn't linger or laude her further, she'd just been given a job, done it well and was praised.

It wasn't much, but it also was something clear and real and easy to understand. Just like the money she got which was as good as the other enforcers at her rank.

It was just meeting a sets standard and getting a set standard reward, but it was, if not something that made her happy. At least something Cleo understood and could be satisfied with.

"Package secured," Intoned their leader, "& I imagine whoever replaces these imbeciles will know to deal with us more respectfully next time. For now, kick up some dust."

Like a switch being flicked, the room was for a single moment flooded with subtle sound and motion as the Savate Syndicate shot through windows, vents and doors. Blurring onto roof tops and streets, scattering through New York. If all went as usual, they'd reconvene at headquarters, be paid for a night work and... Well that was it.

Just another day in the rest of her life as a Savate Syndicate enforcer.

Chloe still didn't know how to feel about that.

Cleo was at least satisfied.

[foxtrot91]

Do you think Buddietommy has any habits that drive each other crazy?

In my head, Eddie and Tommy have forbid Buck from baking past 9pm. Because otherwise, he will be running that KitchenAid mixer in the middle of the night and he insists that "it's not even that loud" but it almost always wakes the entire household up.

So it’s so funny you bring that up because as a baker - this is a valid fear.

Back when I had time to bake as regularly as I wish I could now I’d legit be up baking late into the night and back when I lived in a basement apartment where you could hear EVERYTHING the upstairs tenants would get pretty pissed with me (especially when I’d make mini cheesecakes and would tap out the air bubbles) 😬

Anywayyy yes, they definitely have habits the drive each other bonkers and I can absolutely see that being one of Buck’s.

For Eddie, I like to think that since finding his joy he dances a lot more though this isn’t a habit that annoys Buck or Tommy, I think it annoys Christopher. He’s a teenager and is at the age where he’s probably embarrassed by everything Eddie does, it’s practically a rite of passage. I’m imagining Eddie dancing around the kitchen and Christopher walking in with a friend and just being mortified.

Tommy and Buck would love his dancing though and probably join in (however terribly) much to Christopher’s horror.

Habits that annoy Tommy and Buck though 🤔

I think Buck is a clean freak and Eddie doesn’t really strike me as one. I don’t think he’s a slob by any means but I do think he’s more comfortable with a little bit of clutter in a way that Buck isn’t (have you seen his loft??). Eddie probably occasionally leaves some dirty clothes lying on the ground (usually next to the hamper because he likes to ball up his dirty clothes and throw them like a basketball and sometimes he misses). He may even be the kind of person who leaves the cap off the toothpaste when he’s done with it (I think out of all of these this would be the one that drives Tommy nuts).

He’s probably also someone that doesn’t immediately do his dishes - he doesn’t let them pile up, but he’s fine with letting them sit in the sink through the day and then doing them all before he turns in for the night.

Buck is the opposite, he cleans up his messes immediately and often ends up doing Eddie’s breakfast dishes because he hates leaving them until the evening (this probably drives Eddie nuts because he definitely would’ve done them later). I’m not 100% sure where Tommy would fall on this but I don’t think he’d be all that annoyed by it but he is silently amused by a perturbed Buck.

Annoying habits of Tommy’s? I think his most frustrating one for both Buck and Eddie is that he tends to turn inward whenever he feels frustrated or insecure. Buck is a talk it out kind of guy, and Eddie, well, he’s getting there (hello therapy and hot priest) but he also sees both sides of it. He was that guy who kept everything inside so he understand it, but it also means he knows how bad it is for the individual so when he sees Tommy get in that headspace he takes steps to draw him out.

Aside from that, with Tommy’s hobby of tinkering with old cars comes a lot of motor oil stains and I think Eddie and Buck both flip back and forth between finding it sexy and frustrating 😉. Sexy in the moment - Tommy, arms bulging in his white tank top with black smudges down the front etc etc. but frustrating when those stains end up on their walls because Buck and/or Eddie couldn’t wait until after he’s had a shower to jump him and his hands (which are still covered in motor oil) end up braced against a wall.

For Buck, I think another annoying habit of his would also be one that they find super endearing which is his research dives. Adorable as they are, they are less so at 2am when they’re trying to sleep haha.

Anyway, thank you for the ask! Love thinking about them being all annoyingly domestic! Decided to add Christopher in there as a bonus 🥰

[commsroom]

honestly, i wonder a lot about eiffel's past relationships, when 1) the way he describes his relationship with kate gives the impression it was intense and burnt out quickly (though i can definitely imagine they were very on-again-off-again for quite a while as well), 2) if we go by gabriel urbina's estimate that he imagined anne was about ten by the end of the show, eiffel was about 23 when she was born. they broke up before anne was born, and i don't think they were ever together again after (i would imagine kate was probably adamant about that, and about prioritizing anne's well-being), but eiffel was obviously still in her life, in some capacity, until kate got full custody.

eiffel's got that line in a matter of perspective: "i've been awake for twenty-six hours straight, half of it because i've been sitting by the phone waiting for a call that never came. it's like my teenage love life played out on an intergalactic scale." and while it's a self-deprecating joke, it's probably not... entirely untrue about his dating life in general? we know why his relationship with kate was toxic (the implications of "things get real sid and nancy" speak volumes), and eiffel strikes me as the kind of person who prefers emotional intensity to casual indifference, even if it's terrible for everyone involved. i don't like to lean too much on things the writers have said - not least because gabriel urbina has been very clear that nothing that isn't in the show is strictly canon - but this is all speculation anyway, and the idea that eiffel was a "tv is my parent" kid who grew up unsupervised has always explained a lot about him, to me.

kate is his most significant ex because she's the mother of his daughter, obviously, but i'd be surprised if there were many other people he was that involved with for... a long enough period of time. like, don't get me wrong, i think eiffel has had plenty of hookups, one-or-two-dates, and even ex-girlfriends, but these aren't people who stay in his life; he comes on too strong for casual and doesn't have the day-to-day stability for someone who wants commitment. he's a lonely, stimulation-seeking person - he was a teenager who didn't have luck in love, and then a young adult who made a lot of bad choices (and didn't maintain any stable friendships), and then just... kinda a guy with a lot of baggage. a lot of things just kind of fizzle out because he assumes disinterest from people who don't meet him with that immediate intensity, or, otherwise, he says he's fine keeping things casual, but then he hooks up with someone once and he gets weird whenever he sees her from then on like, wow, crazy that you're here and i'm here... just two people who are both here... hanging out... like friends do. yup. and he tries to put his arm around her and she blocks his number.

[innocentcurse]

Dorothy sat quietly for a moment, her gaze flickering over Copper's words as she processed them. His understanding, his empathy - it was something she hadn't expected, but that she was grateful for. There was a gentle sincerity in his voice that made it feel like he wasn't just passing the time with small talk. He got it. And that made her feel a little less alone in her frustration. "Yeah, it’s…" Dorothy sighed, shaking her head as she felt completely speechless for a moment. The warmth of his understanding was comforting, but it wasn’t enough to calm the storm swirling inside her. "It’s hard," she agreed, her voice quiet but steady. "I know what you mean about those days stretching out. It’s like… like you wake up and it’s not even one bad day. It’s a string of them, and before you know it, it feels like it’s been weeks."

The mention of Avalon had her pausing for a moment, and a weight seemed to settle in her chest. It wasn’t just one thing, but the whole mess - Avalon’s death, the chaos surrounding it, the memories of terrible moments in her past that it reminded her of, the strange silence that had followed, and that damn newspaper... It was all tangled up inside her, pulling at her and making it hard to breathe. Dorothy was surprised by how quickly Copper had pinpointed that it was connected to Avalon - he was right, and even more scarily correct at the mention of the newspaper. Surely he couldn't have meant...

"Yeah, Avalon…" Dorothy finally said, hesitance soaked up in her tone of voice, her head nodding slowly. "It's always going to be hard to lose someone in the community, especially someone who I practically grew up beside, even if we weren't ever the closest," Dorothy's eyes flitted back up to finally meet Copper's again. "But it's also... It's a whole string of things that comes after it, and after..." did Copper have the same experience with the newspaper? Or was he talking about something entirely different? Hesitantly, Dorothy decided that she needed to find out. "The newspaper, when I was reading about Avalon... Did you see something wrong with it?" She questioned, specific enough for it to make sense if Copper had had the same experience, but vague enough to later brush off if that wasn't the case.

Her own words hung heavy in the air, and Dorothy shook her head, trying to gather herself. The vulnerability she felt was strange - she wasn’t used to letting people see her struggle, but something about Copper’s quiet, steady presence made it easier. Almost comforting, in a strange way as Dorothy was so used to relying on the same specific people, or else bottling up all of her troubles. "I don’t know if it’s just me overthinking things, but I can’t help but feel like something's happening in town, and… I’m not sure if it’s just the grief making everything harder to see straight or if there’s really something more to all of this." Dorothy gave Copper a searching look, her voice quieter now but with a clear sincerity. "But I appreciate you asking. I guess, maybe, it’s just helpful to talk about it with someone who doesn’t think I’m crazy for wondering..."

They knew each other so minimally that Copper had been a little worried Dorothy wouldn't remember him. While Tabitha had likely mentioned Copper before given her history with Aris, they'd only met the one time, but luckily it seemed like she remembered. That kept this from being nothing more than two strangers interacting, which might have gotten awkward considering there was clearly something going on with Dorothy right now. And something was going on, that much was clear even as Dorothy laughed; it felt hollow to Copper. Nodding in understanding, he replied, "Yeah...I have those days to. Sometimes many in a row." That had been the case since Damon's murder, and while the frequency had lessened to an extent, Copper wasn't sure they'd ever go away. Sometimes he still went through rough patches. "I think it's okay to have those days as long as they don't happen so frequently they just become your life," he told Dorothy reassuringly. "But...sometimes that's hard." There was a time not long ago at all that Copper thought he'd never crawl out of that darkness, but he realized with a start that he was still kind of there. Despite his life not being as bleak as it had been, it was irrevocably different since Damon's death, and he wondered if he was still "having one of those days." Maybe he always would be.

But this was about Dorothy, and Copper didn't like the idea of her struggling with what was bothering her alone. As he sat there looking into her eyes, it was like he suddenly understood what was weighing on her, a feeling of knowledge passing through him, something that happened sometimes that Copper attributed to magic now that he knew more about his abilities. "Is this about Avalon?" Copper asked suddenly, realizing that had come out more abruptly than he'd meant it. "Or at least to an extent?" He had no idea how well Dorothy knew Avalon, but it was a recent event, so it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. Plus Copper just knew that it was somewhat to do with what was bothering the woman. Looking around, Copper leaned in and asked quietly, "Or...does it have to do with the newspaper?" He didn't elaborate, but Copper thought Dorothy would know he was talking about the way the article about Avalon's death had changed, assuming it had happened to her as well (or maybe knowing it had).

[fallloverfic]

So... on the subject of relative age in Delicious in Dungeon and Mithrun and fandom "jokes" I've seen folks complaining about. General manga and anime spoilers for character ages and names in the manga and anime below the read more:

On the one hand, I do get that people are (or at least were, I see it less these days) mad at the "Mithrun grandpa/old man" jokes/comments because "it's just cause he's disabled" and "relatively speaking, he's the same age as Chilchuck, and no one treats Chilchuck like he's an old man/something about how Chilchuck dislikes being treated differently, mentally, for his presumed age/state of mind".

Okay, yes. Relatively speaking, sure. There's a conversation to be had about the intersection of ableism and ageism and how we often baby (in a patronizing way) disabled people and the elderly, and how we prioritize youth and treat middle-aged people like their lives are over. (And maybe something about how he has silver hair, I don't know). On a more positive note, I love that, relatively speaking, possibly by Elvish standards, Mithrun is at/near middle-age (elvish age of maturity is 80 years, their average lifespan is 400 years), because that's a fascinating bit of world-building.

...On the other hand (please rest your pitchforks momentarily), Mithrun is literally 185 years old, he is the fifth oldest cast member for characters whose age we know as of the English release of the Delicious in Dungeon World Guide: The Adventurer's Bible (after the Elf Queen, who's 372, the elder Flokes, who are in their 200s, and Milsiril, who's four years older than Mithrun), and he is the oldest member of his group of the Canaries (he's literally 103 years older than his subordinate, Pattadol, and still 39 years older than Cithis, the next oldest Canary after Mithrun). And speaking of Chilchuck, who is, yes, a married father of multiple adult children... and also 29. Mithrun has lived over six times as long as Chilchuck has. (All ages come from Delicious in Dungeon World Guide: The Adventurer's Bible; Sissel + the other Golden Country residents don't have listed ages there, though they're at least 1000 years old, and the other elves don't show up). Mithrun was in recovery after the central watchtower dungeon for longer than at least five characters have been alive.

Age chart:

Elf Queen: 372

Tansu Floke: 210

Yarn Floke: 204

Milsiril: 189

Mithrun: 185

Cithis: 149

Otta: 137

Fleki: 130

Lycion: 126

Senshi: 112

Noor: 98

Totan: 95

Pattadol: 82

Gillin: 79

Brigan: 78

Holm: 76

Fionil: 62

Namari: 61

Daya, Invar: 58

Marcille: 50

Maizuru: 41

Chilchuk: 29

Laios, Toshiro, Hien: 26

Rin: 24

Falin, Benichidori: 23

Kabru, Mikbell: 22

Zon: 21

Kaka, Kiki: 20

Kuro, Doni: 18

Izutsumi, Inutade: 17

Leed: 14

Mithrun is older than Senshi, older than Marcille, older than Kabru's entire party, including Holm and Daya, and older than the oldest human we have an established age for, Maizuru (again, the first Adventurer's Bible doesn't list the Golden Country resident ages, and Mithrun is definitely younger than them, but also they're generally minor characters except for Yaad and Delgal). He's older than Senshi's former dwarf comrades were when they died. He's also apparently older than Flamela, the vice commander of the Canaries (she's 170, at least according to the fanwiki, which is possibly going off the Complete Adventurer's Bible).

He is of course younger than Obrin, his older brother, whose age we don't know, but we do know that Mithrun is the younger brother. He is also obviously much younger than the demon.

I also find it interesting that people are jumping to the big assumption that he's middle-aged (relatively) due to... I guess just chopping the average lifespan of elves in half and assuming that's what they think middle-aged is? We know the average lifespan of elves and when they come to maturity. We do not know what elves think of Mithrun's age or what their concept of being middle-aged is, if they have one. He could be considered young by elf standards. He could be considered old. We have no idea.

Thinking about the conversation in Volume 8, Chapter 51: Dumplings 2, it's just about total/average lifespan and how near the characters are to dying by average race age, not middle age.

Chilchuck on p.37: "What's the difference between our actual ages and how old we look?"

Laios: "Well, dwarfs do live two and a half times as long as tall-men."

Chilchuck: "If our actual ages affect our looks, then... ...I'm curious about remaining life. Will we age at the same rate we did before? Or will it match our bodies now?"

They never get an answer for this. We do get rough estimates for what one race's age means to another by comparing Laios' actual age (26) to what Senshi thinks dwarf!Laios is, age-wise (his 60s), and both ages put him near but not at assumed middle-age for the respective race (for tall-men it would be 30, for dwarfs, 100), but otherwise they don't come to many conclusions about anything. They just guess and try to change back before something worse happens. Marcille doesn't even say anything in this conversation about elf culture. She just panics because half-foots live shorter lives.

I would not personally call Mithrun a grandpa and I don't particularly connect with jokes about it. By Elvish standards, and relatively speaking, he is perhaps not, arguably, old. ...But he's no spring chicken, either, despite how strong and fast he is. By the standards of most characters he is interacting with in the story, he is the oldest person in the room, by a substantial margin (heck, the age gap between Mithrun and Cithis is more years than Chilchuck has lived). That doesn't make him a grandpa, either. But I do find people getting mad about folks pointing out this literally 185-year-old being is you know... 185 years old... odd...? Especially when he's around all these by and large substantially younger people (younger people who are adults by and large!!!) for most of the story. Again, there's definitely a conversation to be had about the intersection of ageism and ableism, and how we treat people who are middle-aged as if they're elderly even when they're able-bodied, and about the way other characters in-universe treat him (though the one time I think his age is pointed out, it's about the stuff he knows, not to mock him for it; mostly people treat him badly due to his disabilities (e.g., Fleki with his aiming in chapter 55, Cithis in the Adventurer's Bible), not because of his age)... but it does feel very much like people are ignoring that he is honestly one of the oldest characters in the story, and not by dint of being the oldest youth, but because he's a character who has lived to be nearly 200 years old.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.

It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.

It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.

When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.

Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.

I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.