#the longer i think abt it the more i want to do it ngl

[prettyboykatsuki]

oh gosh i agree so much with u on the intercrural part for isagi, had to search for the meaning as well lol

there are also others like him who are very careful (and they also find it so hot and dirty) : karasu, kunigami, sae, and chigiri who at the same time does not want a child

that was so hot thinking abt it ngl pls indulge more on this even if it's just isagi thank you very much

as much as i want the others like nagi, shidou, rin, aiku, etc. to like this, i fear some of them would just simply prefer p in v after minutes of intercrural, cough, aiku , cough, and nagi who become very impatient (and shidou i think does not mind a child lol)

jfjfdsfsdfkjsd i did not know it was such an unknown word it is in tags a lot on ao3 but yes intercrural = thigh fucking

i think there are probably several bluelock men who find it hot for different reasons. the only people i would switch is oliver and sae on these lists jkfsdkj. disregarding the risk of pregnancy in general tho bc i <3 birth control and contraceptives etc

i think oliver is like. a certifiable, tried-and-true FREAK. like in the traditional sexual way, that guy is really loose with sex and he likes to get into some freaky shit. i always say this but he sluts around for the love of the game, so while he definitely wants to be putting his dick somewhere

he can and does get very into thigh fucking because of the like,, teasing element. him and isagi are kind of the same in the sense they both do it so hard and so long - you end up desperately begging them to just fuck you already because of how frustrating it is and just how much they seem to like it.

isagi fucks your thighs less intentionally. he's just trying to get as much sexual contact as he can after his dick feels like it's going to implode. its usually after foreplay - when he's used his mouth for long enough that your thighs and pussy are embarassingly soaked and it feels especially nice for him to fuck through them. does it while laying behind you, very intimate - but very, very intense because he's basically grinding against your pussy. squishing your thighs together so much that that it feels like he's fucking through them. head against your shoulder, panting - precum covering your legs like he's just into It.

but you really, desperately want him to fuck you and he just. keeps saying to give him a little longer.

oliver does this one purpose but he likes doing it from above so he can see his dick reach through the other side when he does it. and he probably does it after fingering you like he's going to fuck you but then not going quite there. he just kind of... holds you. presses against you like you're going to get fucked and then... doesnt it. and it does feel good because he's using that same brutal, rough pace he does when he fucks you. the longer he does it, the wetter and slicker it gets the better it feels. so then, he keeps doing it because it feels good. he thinks its cute also, watching you go back and forth before finally caving bc you want him to Fuck you.

i think sae in general prefers giving u the most stimulation as much as he can if he's gonna have sex. he can be teasing if he wants to be, but overall - he likes to sitmulate you again and again and again and mess with your head that way. but he does all that so ultimately you'll be so wet it feels like you don't resist his cock at all. doubly bc i think his dick is Big.

this is too long to be talking about thighfucking. but ye dsjsdjk

[szczylpierdolony]

oh also. there’s a little ghibli marathon during a film festival next month and i’m wondering if i should go….

[29121996]

money is so hard btw i hate it

[nickyhemmick]

really curious to know what makes some men actually want to be fathers

[melodrangea]

Nicknames Soul Eaters Boys call their S/O

———————

Soul “Eater” Evans

sweetheart

he says this extremely sarcastically, especially during training

“C’mon sweetheart, is that all you got? I saw you lift twice as much yesterday.”

doll

often uses it in a more formal setting or when he’s trying to tease

“What’s the matter doll? Cat got your tongue?”

He’s a little menace but he’s our menace <3

babe

most common out of the three

you name DOES NOT exist to this man

no name, no nickname, nothing

“Babe can I borrow your notes. Babe where do you wanna go later? BABE”

———————

Black Star

n/n or another variation of you name

doesn’t really use pet names much (sorry babes)

why words words on pet names? he’s way too blunt and if he’s feeling something he’ll just say it, not waste time on fancy words or pet names

(that’s what he tells himself being fr he’s not creative enough as much as I love him)

babe

mostly used around friends (this dumbass thinks he’s being smug)

“hey babe wasn’t going out yesterday awesome? I mean since we’re so inlove and everything.”

the little shit would make your relationship EVERYONE ELSE’S problem (no one is safe 😭)

———————

Death the Kid

Darling

this pretentious hipster

is fairly consistent with the pet names he uses but darling is his favorite

“Darling can you please pass me that book there?”

“Are you alright darling?”

my dear

uses this one without realizing it most of the time

will be chilling in the library studying and will half-consciously call for you

“are you almost done?”

“just a few minutes more my dear, then we can go”

you chuckled, “what did you call me”

“what do you mean, what did I call you?”

love

Kid is a romantic at heart, very classy as well

he would stare into your eyes and call you love

“my love you have no clue how much I love you.”

———————

Crona Gorgon

honey

you would call him honey bunny as a joke and he loved it so he started calling you honey

would always have the cutest blush in his face when he said it too

“o-oh thank you honey :)” (cutie patootie 💋)

dear

would definitely take him a while to start calling this, but when he does 🤌💋

“are you alright if we stay a little longer dear? It’s been a while since we’ve seen the others”

being fr this poor soul would be TERRIFIED to call you something other than your name or a variation for A WHILE

his brains running six times the speed 🏃🏼

———————

Professor Stein

this sadistic mf

i pray for anyone dating this man

but we can be delulu for a few

dove

would absolutely call you dove or some other kind of bird

reminds him of how he protects you like your a delicate bird (and he likes experimenting on birds if yk what i mean 😏)

angel

TELL ME HE WOULDN’T

ngl he only calls you angel when he’s horny asf in a good mood

“hey angel, can you come here for a bit?”

NONE OF YOUR HOLES ARE SAFE RIP

honey

only time your safe if when he calls you honey

mostly calls you this when you’re having a bad day

BUT HE STILL MANAGES TO SOUND SARCASTIC ASF

this is a warning, this man will accidentally hurt your feelings 24/7

“You doing alright there honey? You want to talk about it?”

———————

Kilik Rung

fuck not being allowed to have favorites I LOVE THIS BITCH

only fully green flag in the show i stg (except Marie ofc)

lovebug

he will call you every single pet name he can come up with, but love bug is his favorite

neither of you know how it started but you’re not complaining

“You’re too sweet for me lovebug” <33

sweets

ya see what i did there? ofc he combines his two favorite things: you and those damn candy bars

“This class is so boring, right sweets?”

will calls you sweets often to express thanks kinda like a “thanks toots”

getting more into that

toots

he thinks he’s funny (and he is)

will say this very ironically and usually infront of friends to make everyone laugh

the only slightly annoying quality abt Kilik is his inability to take anything other than combat seriously

“hey toots, how’s it goin’?”

hon

I SWEAR THIS IS THE LAST ONE!

but you cannot tell me this man is not from New Orleans or some other adjacent

and the hon with the southern-ish accent

being so fr he will call you hon all the time and it will fluster tf out of you (he’s smug abt it, just a little 🤏

“You look nice, who are you all dressed up for hun?”

———————————————————————————

woo hoo first post!

anyways hope y’all are doing great

any comments, questions, requests or concerns feel free to DM me!

-Melodrangea <3

[enihk-writes]

Question, are you okay with writing about yandere? Bcs if yes, I genuinely need ur thoughts on CM as one :3

So, I've been reading the novel (ngl, the manhwa's pace is concerning) and I have begun to notice how determined and obsessive of a person he can be—per se in helping the sect to grow, killing the demon cult members, etc. How loyal and faithful he is—to the sect and his sahyung, specifically. How easily attached is he to the right person—like with the new mount hua sect, the gang ofc. And many more, JUST, like, I had the realization how much potential he has as a yandere and it got me tweaking (ofc, I do not mean to downplay CM's character just like that, he is an amazing guy with flaws, and charm, pls don't come at me)

If not, then please ignore this ask, thank you for listening to my rant <333

(!!) this is a reader self-insert discussion

nah because you got me tweaking as well like this guy has the ingredients to be a classic yandere,, i think everyone's favourite hc is that jang ilso is an extremely possessive yandere and cm is kinda like that except that he's got more "social awareness" courtesy to chung mun which makes him reel in his unsavoury behaviours...

i imagine that he's always been very protective over what he deemed as his — his family, his home, his friends and if there were anything that came along to threaten that normalcy, he would never just stand by to let it happen.

which might have lead to him being so casually cruel with the ones he deem as the "outsider" or the ones who would not help his people. i.e. the demonic cult, the sapa, the other sects and organisations that watched mount hua fall...

when a man who's already this obsessive on the daily towards his platonic relationships, can you imagine how it's going to be like when he falls in love with someone???

in my canon, cm and tb definitely fell for each other like idk abt yall but their old man yaoi was so real to me.... and cm stuck by tb's side alot even though cm never really confirmed nor denied his feelings for tb, because he kept thinking that they still had so much time left until they didn't...

(x reader) content beyond this point

in his 2nd life, he went about determined to never fall in love with anyone ever again but when he does inevitably fall for someone new, cm decided that he won't make the same mistake twice. he doesn't waste his time and lets you know right then that he likes you. whether or not you accept his confession doesn't matter — he would still treat you the same like everyone else. except that i think that he's going to be so much harder on you compared to the rest during training.

his logic here is:

train you to be the strongest you can be > higher chance of survival > can stay by his side for a much longer time

he won't be kind, he won't coddle you either and it's to the point where if you and him were together, you'd begin to wonder if he even likes you at all.

the one time you asked him to take it easy on you, that you were almost at your limit for the day... and he said no... and it pissed you off so much that all the frustration piling up quietly within your heart poured out through tears and you asked if he's ever loved you.

cm is stunned, but only for a moment before he says that he does; so stop being ridiculous and pull yourself together.

none of that soothed you so you ask him why he's so mean to you? and cm finally snapped, you're not making sense to him — he thinks that what he's doing is the best thing he could do for you, and if you can't keep up, maybe you should quit being a disciple and just live as a civilian. and because you can't fight anymore he should move you in with him. you two could play house as much as you wanted in a place that only he knew about, under his watchful eye you would never get hurt and you both would get what you both want... is this the life you are asking him to give you?

what were you supposed to say to that? if that was his way of showing his love for you, then it wasn't the type of love you'd want. you had to get away somehow... but we're talking about one of the strongest swordsman in the jiangshu... how were you?

you tried, to your credit, like a fish in a net — but cm is smart, he figures out what you need and always strives to fulfill them all, that way you can't say you're leaving him because he can't give you what you want.

in the end, you'll be so tired out that you let him do whatever he desires, much to cm's delight. the experience had taught him how to be more considerate towards his lover, and he thanks you with unwanted kisses in a show of unfiltered affection.

finally... finally you were going to stay here with him for good.

[itsgirlcraft]

Heyoooo back at it again with my old "dragon!Sabre saves knight!Rainbow from Princess Nightmare" au

Sooo this is from 1/31/2021, apparently. I'll put the first bit from the og fic idea down, bc the second half is just rambling about Sabre's backstory and I wanna talk abt Nightmare tbh.

@woahrarepairsagemare potential sagemare fic incoming? And also @its-indigos you n your man ((Genesis)) wanna join the fic? :)

...

The eldest princess of the Yellow Kingdom was said to live within a hidden castle in the Nightmare Mountains' forest, supposedly performing dark spells and horrifying experiments on not only herself but the people of the Kingdom of Yellow. They will fear the name Nightmare Stevens. And. They. Will. BOW.

Princess Night used to be sane. Some say she was infected with a strange ailment known simply as "The Darkness," which caused her to go mad with power. Others say she was locked away in that void-like ruin of a castle, but why? Was "The Darkness" worse than we thought? Did she get locked away for her safety? Or for ours? Did she do something so horrible I dare not utter another word, that she deserved to be locked up? Or was she never sane in the first place. Perhaps her heart was always dark.

The Kingdoms may never know why, only that Night was no longer an innocent girl who had to be protected. She was scarred. Broken. A force of nature which no man could stand up to. Something that no one will be able Magic and against unless they wished to be dead. Some thought she was a lost cause. Others wanted her dead.

"After all, we all have a dark side, I simply chose to show mine to this useless excuse of a world." The Nightmare whispered as she breathed life into her first Dark Creation. "You shall be known as Dark Steve, and together we shall rule all the Kingdoms," Nightmare cackled as her Corruption Magic gave Dark startling deep blood red eyes against glassy white, hungry. "You shall be my general, and you will command The Soldiers of Darkness as the second-in-command of the Night Terror Army!" the insanity of the isolated princess causing her yellow eyes to finally crack, the light searing her eyes, leaving the once-loved Yellow princess as a mere reflection of her former self. Twisted and broken, she kidnapped a young knight said to have been a Color Kingdoms' Creation destined to end "The Darkness's" reign of chaos with finally stopping Nightmare and her plans for complete and utter rule of the Color Kingdoms, and later the entire MC Realm.

But the Rainbow Knight was far too young to be fighting such a dangerous enemy. He lacked control and understanding of the powerful and dangerous abilities a member of the Color Kingdoms could have, and being a collective Creation between all Colors, he held far more potential than he could imagine. But with great power comes much, much, MUCH longer training sessions, and Rainbow was getting nowhere.

Meanwhile, Nightmare could already destroy chunks of land with her new Darkness fireballs the size of the average Yellow apartment, big enough to house up to 8 people. Not only had the dark princess improved her new Red Kingdom skills quickly, but she could already run from the far end of the Nightmare Mountain range to the other end where the Night Terror Castle stood within 5 minutes! Dark was greatly pleased with the progress his young creator had made on her original abilities, her Yellow-Born powers. The Rainbow Knight and the Nightmare Princess may be similar in mental age, but there was no likeness of one in the other. Neither were aware of each other's saddeningly young age, until the kidnapping came.

...

Ngl, it feels kinda cringe n edgy, but I think I like it that way. It's a good starting point for a revamp. Sooo obviously reworking Night's dialogue and the narrative around her would be good, but I think it could be REALLY good with some Sagemare.

This og version feels kinda mehhh at best in terms of how alive the characters feel, they're one-dimensional at best. I kinda wanna mess around with including Sage as the knight or dragon, but ehh it might work out easier if I just keep Sage separate from that dynamic.

So one key thing here, is that the Steve Realm is both RQ and TSS at the same time, it's very vague. And if I'm including technically SSO for Sagemare, I might as well add in the rest, yknow? I mean that I wanna add dragon!Genesis and dragon!Indigo, too. Because I've got those mcrp designs and like. Why not.

I could get a real bingo with all these series 💀 like Sabre starts off in Assassin's Creed, then we've got RQ/TSS as the MC Realm, then add in SSO and SL for flavor. AND the dimension/kingdom that Sabre comes from feels like a knockoff Cozen kingdom, so we've got AR too.

I feel like drawing some callbacks to AR would do a lot of good in fleshing out all of this, especially the og part after this lil analysis. The Guardian of the Spirit World is the one to send Sabre on his way, but it seems kinda out of place, tho if I wrote it more as a multi-chapter, the pacing would probably fix itself. Maybe mixing some AR in with that would make this 2nd part a little less awkward.

I also think the vagueness doesn't really work well here, especially with the color kingdoms. Exploring how Rainbow/Nightmare's dynamic effects the kingdoms would definitely fix some of the awkwardness as well, and including other dragons besides Sabre.

And here's the second half:

The strange dark gray/green dragon which came to save the Rainbow Knight was not the strongest or the most powerful dragon. In fact, he was not always a dragon. He is a...peculiar case, random curses and hybrid origins and assassin friends litter his past, like one insane plot twist after another. E.S. thought he was human, back in the so-called "True Reality" Realm which he called home. After he and his father were chased by men claiming to simply be guards wanting to collect tax, the young boy's parents were both killed.

Some time after being taken in by assassins, he learned that the men who killed his parents were, in fact, not guards at all. You see, E.S. lived in a world where magic and inhuman beings were real, but were all in the MC Realm or taken away/killed. "True Reality" was called such thanks to mass anti-magic propaganda that said those who were hybrids, cursed, magic etc. were simply monsters or did not exist, and that the MC Realm did not exist. The ones who killed E.S.'s parents were supporters of such, and were like magic police that tried to censor and remove anyone against them and/or were magic.

E.S.'s mother had a family curse, while his father was a hybrid trying to live a normal life. But both caught up to E.S. when his hybrid side began to show and the curse had finally appeared physically. E.S.'s curse caused his eyes to change constantly, cycling through almost human eyes, to animals like cats, snakes, etc., demonic/bloody eyes which could get particularly scary, and code-like patterns which sometimes made him "glitch" with a spike of pain throughout his body.

E.S. discovered this on his 16th birthday, to his horror. Almost a month later, E.S. found white wings growing on his back. Later the feathers continued appearing along his torso, shoulders, neck, and upper arms. That was when he realized his parents were far more interesting than they wanted him to think. They tried so hard to let him live a normal life without their own past ruining it. E.S. began wearing a reddish-brownish dark gray bandanna around his eyes, and his adoptive father made him a special little hoodie which would make an illusion that would hide E.S.'s feathers as a chicken suit.

E.S. continued to wear both as his journey as an assassin continued. That is, until he got a job to kill a particularly nasty man who was deeply obsessed with finding a way to enter the MC Realm. The man had done so many horrid things to other people and their loved ones while exploring the magic of the MC Realm. E.S. got many jobs from different people asking to kill the obsessive man. He was the first target that saw through the magic hoodie and magic bandanna, and the man seemed to recognize E.S. rather than be fearful. He violently took down E.S., plucking out a few feathers as E.S.'s scream of pain was muffled.

Ripping off his bandanna, the crazed man ignored E.S.'s struggles and collected some blood from his crying eyes, murmuring "you are the one, yes yes yes you must be the chosen, I am sorry my winged child but you must fulfill the prophecy, the boy with rainbows for eyes needs your help, you are the only one who can save us from the dark beasts now, the terror queen must die to the dragon within the child of a cursed and the winged one, you must rescue hope from the nightmare my boy."

'How can this thin old man keep me pinned to the ground?!' E.S. was sure there was no way that the man was somehow stronger than him, he is a hybrid after all. Soon something happened while the man was mixing strange things with the blood and feathers. A portal. And not just any portal. The only one to the MC Realm.

"You truly are the chosen one!" the man wheezed, as a strange concoction finished brewing. E.S. could not move, what was this man planning to do to him? Was the job really all a hoax?? How, how was the man keeping E.S. down without touching him?! Why did the portal just appear?!? E.S. barely managed to grab his bandanna before the man slouched over to him, holding the strange bottle. The liquid seemed to shine in the dim light, like a green fire against metallic scales.

"You must take this, my boy. You may be a hybrid, but. You. Will. NOT SURVIVE. Unless you take on the identity of the dragon within you," the man began pouring the liquid on E.S.'s wings as he spoke. It burned. It burned through his veins as some was forced down his throat. His vision went blurry, barely catching a glimpse of his wings. He had no feathers. There was a green shine on them now. The man wheezed in joy as he dragged the panicking young man towards the glittering glitched purple portal.

For a moment, there was kindness in his voice. "I am sorry for all I have done," the man spoke with a softness E.S. had never heard, "I have grown too old to return to the broken MC Realm, please, help them. The Color Kingdoms used to be my home, but now I cannot reunite with my family until the Darkness Age is over. You should be able to get help with returning home once you end the Darkness, mention that The Guardian brought you." And with that, he pushed an oversized iron sword into E.S.'s hands, which were growing sharp black claws. E.S. looked up at the older man, tears in his eyes. "Save them. I wish we had more time but we don't," the man whispered with a sad smile before pushing the rapidly transforming boy through the portal, still clutching the sword.

And thus, E.S. became the dragon sent to save the Colors from the Darkness. He took on the name Sabre, his middle name, as his dragon form. The oversized sword fit perfectly in his new clawed hands, now a glittering purple and blue, almost like a galaxy. The previously empty socket in the handle had what looked to be a star, having fallen long ago. E.S. went on to find the Rainbow Knight, knowing that the two of them were the only ones who could save the Kingdoms. With some help from each Color, of course. He could not do it alone, even if he were the so-called "saviour." The once-human dragon must rescue the young knight from the Nightmare princess, or else all will be lost.

[sugar-omi]

I came here to ask for Rockstar! Cove rambles and saw the Rockstar! Baxter art you reblogged omfg it's so good.

Please can we get some of your Rockstar! Cove (and/or Baxter if you feel like it) rambles 🙏

(Hope your holiday has been great 💖)

this is more. rockstar!cove backstory but YKW ITS FINE BC ITS BEEN WHATS ON MY MIND LATELY we'll have to talk abt him again bc this post was getting LONG especially w baxterrr

tags : SFW, headcanons, step 2-4, rockstar au, so ooc, bullying mentioned, fighting, baxter's tags are below before his hc's

listen....

im ngl. i want him to be maybe a little toxic. a lil crazy.

or into things he's not canonically into/does often

at least he's rough n impulsive at first

whenever he can get away with it, and before he got famous, he loves taking a long ride on his motorcycle

compared to when he was a young teen, he tries not to take drives when he's angry

bc when he was young, he'd put on some music and blast it as loud as it could go, and he'd drive and drive and drive...

ended up with a few warnings and speeding tickets that way because he'd get lost in riding n his thoughts n the music

but now that his life isn't so turbulent, he doesn't do that anymore

i wanna imagine he doesn't grow up with you next door n you didn't know each other until junior year of high school

he sees you n he's sold...

thinks you're so fucking beautiful/handsome and he sees you laughing n smiling w your friends n he's so, so whipped for you

he's still a sweet shy boy, so it takes forever for him to talk to you

n it's terry who introduced you two!!!

he's all flustered, bc you're even more lovely up close

n if you're all bubbly n extroverted, he thinks you're like sunshine

if you're more reserved, he thinks you're very cool or that it's amazing how calm you are all the time

if you're shy/easily flustered, will sometimes (and now that he's grown, always) mention out loud he thinks it's cute when you blush...

either way, just loves your personality n thinks you're amazing n cute

you actually calm him down. you ground him.

he used to get into fights kinda often.

i like to think rockstar!cove got like this bc his parents stayed together longer than they did, n there was no brilliant neighbor to reach out to him

he n his dad were still like oil n water, and the kids at school were less than friendly but usually didn't dare fuck with him

key word is usually.

just had a thought actually... cliff's family living nearby

not his parents. he moved as far as he could

and with him n Kyra on the brink of divorce, her moving out the house, n all cliff has to do to keep them afloat..

he didn't think his equally shitty cousins would be a problem.

but surprise!! they're a few doors down n too happy to "catch up"

cove n cliff avoid them pretty well, n cliff really didn't need to tell cove to avoid his cousins bc he was already 2 steps ahead of him

but his cousins dont get that message, they also think its a good idea to pick on cove...

so between the short patience of most hormonal 13 year olds, his parents (finally) separating, cove's intolerance for bullshit....

cove ends up rocking his 2 cousins shit when they snatch his glasses off his face, bending the frame

ignores his cousins mom yelling at him n cliff to apologize for hurting her kids. feels a bit warm when his dad tells her his son is more well mannered than both her kiss combined, even laughs when he says a rabid raccon has more sense n poise

but is even happier when his dad, after a moment of silence in the car, asks him if be used the right hook he taught him

n tries to hide his smile when his dad ruffles his hair n goes "that's good. good job son."

he does hear the whole, "violence isn't always the answer" and "pick your battles" thing

but he shrugs off the lecture when he and cliff have a tub of ice cream each n cliff holds a bag of peas to his face

anyway.

he fights like a DOG. he arGRHHH HE HAS EVERYTHIGN TAKEN CARE OF. TRUST.

professional at sneaking out n sneaking YOU out

cove at 4am: wanna get mcd's?

dont even bother saying no bc he's already outside

dont pretend to be sleep either bc he FUCKING SEES YOU.

will leave you alone if you genuinely don't wanna fuck around in the middle of the night, but how can you say no to him?

ah. before i forget

Will kiss you if you're bandaging his face

asks you to ice his bruises...

SINGS YOU SONGS N SHIT

kryptonite. creep. p!nk and lady gaga PERIOD. all of it

serenades you with his guitar and/or voice

sometimes he's just fiddling with the strings, switching between cheery beats and trying to rick roll you but the beat is wayyy off

loves when you fall asleep to his music too, plays the sleepiest tune he can think of

you being his biggest supporter is what makes him fight to make a name in the music industry

after supporting him in his personal life, through all his lows and highs, then supporting his music that he was too scared to go for

he puts his best foot forward for his sake and yours

+ TAGS: mention of FWB, toxic baxter <3, so ooc ofc, mm implied partying/drinking

now rockstar baxter....

i want him to be a problem. he's the toxic one here

compared to cove, who is soft n sweet but impulsive and always willing to fight, rough but well meaning...

baxter is your situationship

your friends with benefits

friends if a loose word, since you hardly ever talk since you've met and unless arguing, bickering, or sexting counts as getting to know each other...

than you're best friends!!!

he's the big headed musician who always asks "wyd" and "u up?" whenever he's in town

at least he sends you money to doll up or eat, or whatever before he gets in town

"make sure you eat before i come. bc im not letting you go once i get there"

so.... if you want commitment. he's not it...

just saw *this tweet, and rockstar!baxter IS the type to email you after you block him

omfg. if any of yall have read armin x reader fanfics... yk how he is in those fics? all toxic n shit?

thats baxter.

not THAT bad. like baby trapping bad or cheating on you, manipulating you etc.

but he's bad

definitely the dumb choice you make at 18-20 smth years old n once you mature, you drop him because he doesn't grow up quickly...

he won't even have the realization that you're the one until he's MINIMUM 37-40+ YEARS OLD. AND FLYS UP FROM THE BED LIKE HE'S SEEN A GHOST

curses n curses himself to high hell and low heaven

now depending on how bad he's fucked you over, or you've moved on, etc... he understands if you don't wanna try being together, bc he was a fucking mess

at least, if he sees you catching feelings or himself, he does break it off

but there's still good times between you!!

he sends you things for your birthday

and when he's not on tour showing his ass, he comes to spend it with you

is very happy if you come to spend his birthday with him!!!

starts to look forward to it, but he doesn't really show it

although after the first time, he can't help crying, thought the first time was just a one off thing

unless you make the first one a big thing, than he cries then

even if all you did was get/make a cake and decorate your small apartment, he's so so happy

mm i started thinking abt smth

i don't think he's that bad, impulsive, etc. before his career

before, he's pursuing music because his parents hate it. its "not a useful career" and "embarrassing"

but then he starts to love it, its an outlet for him and then it's become a passion

but once he gets a deal with a record label, it's just a downward spiral

puts everything into music, ignores everything else and doesn't take breaks like he should

i think what breaks your "relationship" is him getting caught up in the darker side of the music industry, and losing himself.

he doesn't laugh or anything like before

doesn't make random trips to see you anymore

in fact, probably ends up flaking on you or suddenly canceling, or going weeks without talking to you

its rough. and you two definitely need time apart for him to grow and realize that this is serving anyone besides the companies pockets well

[paingoes]

Rubies

Communication

authors note: kitty uses the word ‘nonverbal’ here in a way that isnt really medically accurate. thats kind of a whole discussion im not gonna get into now but tl;dr delta has selective mutism and autism but he isnt “nonverbal” per se.

(Content: living weapon whumpee, discussion of past captivity, past abuse, discussion of war, (internalized) abuse apologism, dehumanization, emotional whump)

================

katkittykat: hiiiiii :3c

nodiving: hey

He glanced over the top of his laptop screen, across the room where Kitty was curled up on the armchair. She flashed her teeth at him when she smiled. Her nails clicked against the keys when she typed.

katkittykat: this is so smart lowk idk why i didnt think of it sooner

nodiving: yeah

nodiving: i’ve seriously been drafting forum arguments in my head this entire time

nodiving: all of them probably think they won just cause i termed

nodiving: would it be weird if i just pick them back up like nothing happened

katkittykat: ya u might have to let those go tbh

nodiving: :/

It was very hard to type with the cast on. It took him much longer to write than it normally would. Luckily, she didn’t interrupt until she heard the typing stop.

katkittykat: so like whats the deal w u

katkittykat: are u not talking cause ur scared to?

nodiving: no

nodiving: yeah

nodiving: its not that im scared necessarily its just that its very very unnatural for me 

nodiving: it still feels rude and overfamiliar to me even if i know you dont see it that way

nodiving: this is a lot easier thank you

katkittykat: you dont have to talk if it’s uncomfortable !!!

katkittykat: its cool if ur nonverbal we can just keep texting like dis

nodiving: i think i do want to though

nodiving: its just hard

nodiving: please dont like…stop talking to me

nodiving: im trying

katkittykat: u will have to deal w us talking to u FUREVER !!!! >:3c

nodiving: <3

katkittykat: aaaaaaaah <33333

He hesitated a long time before typing the next message.

nodiving: do you think i should have stayed

katkittykat: what???? D:

nodiving: on a purely strategic level it seems like this was not the most optimal outcome

katkittykat: urghhhh 

katkittykat: well on a ~purely strategic level~ im not the best person to ask tbh

katkittykat: like im ngl galatea was NOT prepared for sudden reunification and thats why levon is so pissed at us X)

katkittykat: but it would have been hard no matter what and if the war had gone on we wouldve had to fight along 2 different fronts which is also noooooot good

katkittykat: and if we had to do that. we would have had to fight you! which would have been v v v not good  X(

katkittykat: so idk if there was really a better outcome? and even if there was like

katkittykat: its not ur problem

katkittykat: ur not just a chess piece to be moved around

nodiving: i kind of am though

nodiving: theres obviously been a huge fallout because of this and it feels wrong to write all of it off just because of. my rights or whatever.

nodiving: i feel like i kind of jumped the gun leaving when i did

katkittykat: aw jeez :(

katkittykat: i was curious abt that tbh i assumed there was some final straw for u but i didnt wanna pry obvs

katkittykat: seems like it was bad ?

nodiving: i dont know 

nodiving: i was more scared by the escalation it represented than anything that actually happened so i feel like i may have overreacted a little bit

nodiving: its hard to explain

katkittykat: ur ok! u can talk abt it when ur ready

katkittykat: but fwiw i really doubt you overreacted

nodiving: thank you

katkittykat: if anythin u seem to be kinda? downplaying it????

nodiving: it really wasnt that bad

nodiving: i could have gone longer

katkittykat: idk delta it kinda seems that bad

katkittykat: i think u got used to it

katkittykat: but that doesnt mean it wasnt bad

He gave her a nervous glance from across the room, his hands stilling on the keyboard. He reluctantly began to type again.

nodiving: did you say i didnt have to talk about it

katkittykat: yes!!!! mb

katkittykat: do u wanna play league omg we actually have time now

nodiving: yessssss

===========

nodiving: hi

sunspot: Hi Delta!!!! :)

sunspot: How are you !!!!

nodiving: im ok

nodiving: im sorry i was such a dick to you before 

nodiving: i was looking at the old messages again i feel really bad

sunspot: No you’re totally good! We were being really pushy i get why you were upset

sunspot: We were just worried for you honestly even when we didnt know you that well

sunspot: It was scary when you would just disappear for weeks at a time like that

sunspot: We just wanted to make sure you were safe

sunspot: Still do!

nodiving: thank you 

nodiving: i was scared too

nodiving: can i ask you something

sunspot: Yes please!!!! Yes I thought youd never ask!!!!

nodiving: is levon going to kill me

sunspot: Oh no

sunspot: He explicitly promised me not to

sunspot: Delta please do not tell me you have been worrying about that this entire time

nodiving: it stood out as a distinct possibility 

sunspot: Didnt he promise he wouldnt hurt you?

nodiving: yes

nodiving: you understand why i may be a bit hesitant to take him at his word

sunspot: Yes I guess thats our bad 

sunspot: But i really don’t think he wants that for you

sunspot: Do you think he’d wait for you to heal just to kill you at the end?

nodiving: not sure

sunspot: That was rhetorical! The answer was no.

nodiving: then what

sunspot: a good question

sunspot: I wish I had an answer for you and I really cant apologize enough for putting you in this situation but I'm afraid it could get very messy for a little while

nodiving: messy how

sunspot: In the broadest possible terms

sunspot: They dont really know what to do with you

sunspot: So that is something we are all going to have to figure that out together

=============

LEVON: Kitty.

LEVON: How are you, my sweet?

KITTY: omg hiiiiiii

KITTY: im rlly good actually things r rlly good!

LEVON: Any progress?

KITTY: ya i think so :)

KITTY: hes opening up a little hes still like. v v shy in person? but not as scared i dont think 

KITTY: hes very polite

LEVON: Poor thing.

LEVON: Does he have sensory issues? I hear that’s a big thing with psychics.

KITTY: ummm yeah hes v twitchy. i think he gets his signals crossed a lot but idk if hes aware of it? he just gets all hackle-y at literally nothing sometimes

LEVON: Interesting.

KITTY: how are things back there

LEVON: Well, it’s a shitshow. You’ll find out soon.

KITTY: eek

KITTY: um can i tell u smth

LEVON: Of course.

KITTY: i dont think hes ready yet 

LEVON: You have the rest of the month.

KITTY: no even then i just dont think hes gonna be ready

KITTY: he needs more time

LEVON: I feel like I’ve been more than generous in letting you keep an unsupervised superweapon(!) in your house for two months without disturbance 

LEVON: I’m not saying I’m going to put him through the ringer or anything but he does need to come back to base.

LEVON: You’re coming with him, so I don’t see what the issue is.

KITTY: will we b able to see him then :?

LEVON: Sure.

KITTY: can he room w me :3c

LEVON: Nope.

KITTY: why D:

LEVON: Security reasons. 

KITTY: levon :(

LEVON: This isn’t coming from me.

KITTY: but ur the boss!!!!

LEVON: Yes, but this isn’t an absolute monarchy. I’m still obligated to follow protocol and I’m obligated to listen to other members of the council.

LEVON: Who I should add, are a LOT less okay with this than I am. 

KITTY: ok i get all that but listen like

KITTY: i dont think u understand how fragile he is rn

LEVON: I think you may actually be underestimating him.

KITTY: uh wat do u mean by that

LEVON: He’s held his own within Empire for nineteen years. That’s not for the weak. He can handle a little strain.

KITTY: lol is that what u call it

KITTY: a little strain?

LEVON: Relatively speaking, yes. I’ll do what I can to make it painless for him. Personally, I think he’s innocent.

KITTY: he IS innocent

LEVON: Can you prove it?

KITTY: ITS SUPPOSED TO BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!!!

LEVON: That file you sent me. You made it, didn’t you? You’ve seen what’s on there? The casualty count?

KITTY: but thats not his fault!

LEVON: And I agree with you. But that’s what we’re going to have to establish. 

KITTY: but i dont want him to :(((

LEVON: What you want is not necessarily the basis upon which the courts operate.

==========

katkittykat: doing ok????

nodiving: yeah

nodiving: in my room

katkittykat: what do u do in there

nodiving: kinda just been sleeping a lot

nodiving: im really tired all the time i dont know why

nodiving: i didnt use to be

katkittykat: ur sleep debt is probably insaneeeeeee that why

nodiving: yeah

nodiving: im sorry that im like this btw

katkittykat: u dont need to apologize for resting bby theres nothing 2 b sorry for

nodiving: not just that i mean everything

nodiving: i know im not normal 

katkittykat: u rlly rllllly dont need to worry abt that around us i promise we r all freak bitches

katkittykat: i like talking to u tho and i think its ok if u dont realylly feel “normal” right now u dont need to b

katkittykat: u can just b urself and if u dont know who that is rn thats fine too becuz u have the rest of ur life to figure it out

katkittykat: i will still want to hang out w you anyway <3

It took a long time for him to respond. She thought he may have fallen asleep again.

nodiving: why are you being so nice to me

Her turn to hesitate. That was more of an Apollo question — he could explain it ad nauseam. She didn’t know what answer she could possibly give him, if he even really wanted one. 

There was so little she knew about Delta. Each glimpse she got of what his life had been like painted a worse picture of it. They always said he’s been through a lot when anyone asked; it was a convenient euphemism for a whole array of issues. He tried so hard to play his cards close it to his chest. It felt like a betrayal then, the way the signs slipped through. 

nodiving: you dont have to be

She frowned as she slowly tapped at the keyboard.

katkittykat: i wanna be tho

katkittykat: cause i like u

katkittykat: <3

Another moment of silence. She braced herself. There was no way she could try and unpack all of that herself. She hoped she would not have to. She would do it wrong.

nodiving: <3

…………

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

I js realized that I forgot to ask some questions 😭😭

Anywayz-

By 🌙,

Questionz!!1!!1:

1. Can the bsd cast become self aware in later chapters? Also when did they/what chapter/episode become self aware?

2. So the port mafia will still have a port mafia irl?

3. So if GL doesn't want to live longer will the bsd cast still live on? Though if they want to live longer will they also live on?

4. What if GL wants to go into Bsd Yokohama? Can they like explore there? Also can they only go to Bsd Yokohama or can they go to other places too? (Like: the airport, Where Agatha Christie office is, etc.)

Questionz 4 ya:

1. Do you also post on AO3?

2. Btw wdym people ain't interested at you? Ngl I am interested onto knowing more Abt u!

Opinionz/feedbacks?:

I read your new post "Reading chapters from 105-117" and "Few words" they are so good! It literally put me into a good mood after the chapter- and Kunikida...erm- anyways- Your grammar/english improved!!! Atleast I think so-

I also saw your new blog and ASKQUWNPVIPQHDPQNS I didn't read genshin lore much but your post in the blog made me more interested than the other genshin stories lol

1. Yes, they can. They can become self-aware after multiple appearances in manga/anime. For example, right now, Agatha Christie isn't self-aware, despite appearing in official media two times. And Bram became self-aware later, then other characters.

Most of the characters became self-aware after Episode 37 (Last episode of Season 3) and somewhere during Skyfall chapters. (74-77)

2. Yes. They want to "rebuild" the Port Mafia. But more in a way of shady protectors.

3. If GL won't live on, BSD Cast will choose to grew old and gray. At the end only Lovecraft, Bram and Fyodor will remain.

4. Yes, they can explore. Right now, they can visit all Yokohama locations (including airport), Meursault, Sky Casino, Bram's Castle (if it wasn't destroyed). In a future, after Agata became self-aware, GL can visit her office.

1. I have an AO3 account, but I don't post anything from BSD Self-Aware AU on it. I only post AU related fics only in this blog.

2. Well, thanks. Hm... I guess, I can share some little facts about me.

- I like cats.

- I like cinnamon.

- I have known about BSD for a few years, but wasn't interested in getting into the manga or anime. And then I saw screenshots with Fyodor Dostoevsky (one of my most favorite authors in real life).

- My dumbest reason for pulling the character in Genshin - Neuvillette was voiced by Ray Chase. I didn't care, how strong Neuvillette is. Moreover, I wasn't looking at posts or guides that were created during his first banner. I didn't even do his trial run or watched his demo.

- I like doing Color by Number paintings.

_________

I am so happy, that you liked the last two fics. And it makes me even more happy, that you think, that my English and grammar improved. I will try to improve them further.

_________

Glad, that you found interest in Tired Creator AU. Hope, you will enjoy next posts.

I already have some ideas for the next post.

[sarahs-malewives]

been replaying fe3h and had many Thoughts™️ abt Byleth(sona)…

in order the designs are og / after merging w sothis / after 5 yr timeskip haircut / timeskip enlightened one / haircut enlightened one

design notes and A Lot of images under cut !

regular byleth refs/randoms tuff I typed on the previous post is still canon, except the route! Changing the “canon” one to be blue lions w every single character recruited lol

a new personality detail I wanted is that he starts off like canon Byleth does, emotionless, until she’s forced into being a professor. That would be the first instance of him feeling shock and anger, and then it all goes downhill from there until he becomes one of the most animated characters in the monastery.

ESSENTIALLY I just got to the point where Sothis merges w Byleth and it like. kinda pissed me off ngl. Like why the pale green right away? Neither had pale hair to begin with. I made it so that it progressively gets lighter w time. I also wanted him to look more like Sothis post ts, which might justify Rhea’s weird attachment to her.

The haircut is (long story short) from like a week after everyone regroups after ts (generally. I haven’t gotten to that part yet so I don’t remember what happens). Byleth is, of course, pissed off. (In this universe enlightened one is given after ts.)

During the 5 yrs everybody looked for him for months, but most eventually quit. This excludes Felix, who realizes his feelings during this time, but also greatly misses his companionship.

Felix seeks him out to talk, and walks into the training grounds finding him trying to smash his tiara with an axe. He strikes and strikes, casts fire and hits again, but to no avail. Felix eventually notices tears are streaming down his face.

“Byleth.” Felix snaps him out of his trance.

“Felix? Goddess, you shouldn’t have seen me like this.” He wipes his eyes with his hands.

“I know you,” Felix pauses, “This is because everyone’s treating you differently, isn’t it.”

“You… always know.” He sighs. He sinks down to the floor, watching as Felix joins her. “Can you change the subject? To anything else. Please.”

“If that’s what you want.” He pauses for a minute. “So… your hair has gotten longer than you wanted it.”

“Yeah,” She agreed. “I hate it.”

“Want me to cut it?”

“You can do that?”

“Have been for the last… five years.”

“Ah.” She paused. “Let’s do it.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah.” He glanced up as Felix shuffled to sit behind him.

“So, what are you thinking?”

“Something that’ll piss Rhea off.”

A startled laugh escaped Felix, and he quickly dissolved into laughter for a minute or two. She never realized she’d hardly heard Felix laugh until right now.

“You… you really haven’t changed, have you?”

“Thank you. Finally someone gets it.”

[tricksterkisses]

I’ve decided that I will no longer actively engage with discourse or social justice conversations on this website.

This decision comes down to a simple but frustrating realization: this platform seems to prioritize syntax and performative correctness over actual, tangible change. The energy I’d need to expend being Perfect for the people who (wrongly, in my opinion) claim to be my allies is better spent continuing the work I already do in real life: outreach, mutual aid, and community care. That’s where I can make a difference ngl, where my efforts are about action and impact, not linguistic perfection.

Recently, I made a post abt the oppression I face and how people like me are treated. To be honest, I expected pushback from people who disagree with me or the existence of trans-androphobia as a concept. But that’s not what happened. Instead, I was condescended to by people who call themselves my allies—because I made the apparent mistake of not using one word in a sentence. A single, ultimately irrelevant word.

Let me be clear: I wasn’t raised in the U.S. English is my third language. I don’t think in English, and I’m not going to pour endless time and energy into perfectly tailoring my words in a language that’s not even my own, just to appease people who are ostensibly on my side. This experience has taught me that this platform and many of the people on it, cares more about sounding right than about being right, about effect or praxis; thats not a value I share. I’d rather hear someone use imperfect language to say something important than see someone tear another person down because their linguistics weren’t pristine enough to pass an arbitrary standard.

In the real-world spaces where I do mutual aid, outreach, and harm reduction, this isn’t an issue. We’re too busy helping people to nitpick language. No one there questions whether someone deserves solidarity based on how “correctly” they phrase their sentences. That’s why I’ve decided that while I’d love to discuss the oppression and casual dismissal people like me face, I will not be doing it heree. This space rly just isn’t built for it. If you care more about the performance of words than about the reality of harm reduction, then you’re not my ally, and I don’t want to try to talk in spaces where that’s the standard.

I’m likely going to turn reblogs off on my one post about trans-androphobia and edit it to direct people here. I understand that some of the people who ‘corrected’ me probably thought they were helping, but their impact speaks louder than the intent. And the impact is this: it’s taught me that I cannot trust even my supposed allies in these spaces to care about the Movement as much as they care about the Words.

It was my wife, in fact, who had to sit me down and explain that what was happening wasn’t just frustrating and that it was punitive. I was being punished over semantics. That realization was rly eye-opening.

For those of you who are here because you want to see more of my thoughts about oppression, trans-androphobia, or other issues, I’m sorry to disappoint, but I won’t be using my own words to talk about these things on this website moving forward. I’ll still reblog pieces that resonate with me, and of course, @/velvetvexations is welcome to continue sharing thoughts I’ve expressed in private conversations. But as far as direct engagement goes, this is where it ends for me on Tumblr.

I’m genuinely glad that some people here have the comfort to focus so heavily on language. But I live on the brink of homelessness every month. I struggle to feed my family. I simply can’t afford to use the little energy I have navigating the minefield of linguistic perfection to avoid being torn down by “my own side.” If that’s something you can understand, I hope you’ll respect my decision. If not, I wish you well anyway.

srry.

[handsinterlaced]

hi this is gonna be my niall experience as I just need to get it out and I’m sure irls are SICK of me talking abt it <3 pls enjoy or ignore up to u

proof being delusional works!

june 27: I fly my ass out to toronto!!! and at this point I’m just giggling w a friend joking around what if I meet Niall

june 28: today is niall’s 1st show in Toronto hehe

I was eating lunch at a random restaurant I stopped by on queen st and I was soooo excited / nervous I couldn’t eat! basically forcing myself to eat so I don’t die at the concert fjdjskks but yeah after like half an hour of picking my food I start to feel unsettled.. and a lil bit uneasy! idk it was suchhhhh a weird feeling but u always gotta listen to ur gut!!

U GOTTA LISTEN TO UR GUT!!

DONT IGNORE IT

it was sooo strange like at that moment I knew I had to leave the restaurant RIGHT NOW and so I did! I was like half an hour walk away from my air bnb so I’m like that’s fine I’ll just walk back & still have plenty of time before the show to get ready and stuff! there were so many different ways to walk back. I could’ve crossed the street earlier or turned the corner sooner but the path I chose led me right to Niall 😭😭 I wasn’t even looking for him!!! but I was waiting for the crosswalk… look up and who do I see? NIALL FUCKING HORAN RIGHT THERE

- ngl tho niall in a cap and sunglasses is such a great disguise FJKSKAKA I would not have recognized him if tour manager wasn’t with him! shoutout to jstir (I met him when I was like 13 when he was working for Cody simpson and taking everyone’s m&g photos fjdjskks that man’s face is engraved in my mind so I was able to recognize him pretty quick!) like who knew my 13 year old phase would come back 10 years later and help me out !!!

anyways so Niall is across the street and I’m just fighting w myself debating if I should go up to him or not 😭😭 the saying never meet ur heroes is kinda true JDKDKAKA it changes u & all the expectations u have! Ultimately I figured that this was my 1 chance to say something so I just went for it. If I didn’t I’d probably regret it for the rest of my life!

I just know my voice was shaky and I was super nervous but niall was so sweet and patient <3 like I felt so bad just going up to him 😭😭 hes just out and about… trying to be incognito & enjoy some free time FJSKKA like I am quite aware but when else could this happen u feel 🥲 anyways here is the convo from what I remember bc I blacked out (as u do when u meet ur fave)

me: hi Niall!! just wanted to say hi and let you know how excited I am to see you perform tonight and tomorrow <3

niall: hi how are you! oh you’re going to both shows? is that right? we’re actually headed to the venue now

me: oh! If that’s the case I don’t wanna keep you guys. Would it be alright if we took a photo?

niall: yes of course!

the photos (cropped myself out bc Toronto humidity is my enemy & I was a sweaty mess from walking back to the air bnb)

and then I just say thank u so much! see u at the show hahaha and SPRINT OFFFFJFKSKAK like I ran so fast bc I needed to get away and scream 😭😭

mind u I be carrying my leftovers the entire time JFKSKAK SO FUNNY

I DIDNT EVEN INTRODUCE MYSELF! WISH I TOLD HIM I FLEW MY ASS OUT! THAT HE NEEDS TO TOUR MORE CITIES IN CANADA! TO PUT NEW ANGEL ON THE SETLIST!! so much I wish I said but again thankful they were on the way to the venue so I was forced to keep it short so I didn’t continue to yap and embarrass myself further. it could’ve been so much worse! just gotta remind myself that.

sat in the air bnb for like 2 hours in silence trying to process what happened fjdjskks would’ve been longer but I had to get to the show! anyways I was like 15 rows back on the floor and had the best time <3

june 29: Toronto night 2!!!

I’m sat 2nd row floor… right next to the barricade and I’m so close I know that niall can see me 😭😭😭 idk if it’s the delusion but I keep making eye contact with niall and he keeps looking at me! probs thinking oh is it that weirdo from the street yesterday 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 LMFAO but U TELL ME!! IS IT DELUSION BC I THINK I GOT PROOF RIGHT HERE

felt too perceived by him tbh JDKKA needed to run and hide! like eye contact was crazy djdjjsjs

OKAY THAT IS ALL FOR NOW I THINK! if u made it this far I am so amazed ty for reading the rambles <3

[omophagic-beast]

for the tarot rpg ask game! The Fool, The Empress, The Hierophant, The Chariot, The Hanged Man, The Devil, The Tower, The Star, The Sun!

!!! wowow hi!! thank you for all the questions, im gonna put them under a read more as to not clog up peoples dashes

from this ask game

The Fool – What do the earliest stages of work on a game look like for you? OR How did you get into game design?

i have a notes discord server! and a channel in there specifically for game ideas. previously i had a big word document titled "game ideas", but its easier to access discord from my phone lol

usually i have an idea and i stick it in there first

heres the start of the pillars of creation :3

and then ill noodle around with it, just brainstorm and slap spaghetti around. this is another reason why i like discord for this at the moment, its informal and easy, much less daunting than a word doc

i didnt end up using most of the bits here lol

and then ill move it into a word doc once its clear that ive got an actual project / game starting to form!

the one problem with this is sometimes ill keep an idea in there for much longer than i should and it becomes a mess of me replying to myself, terrible to follow. this is the current problem with moonlight whaling, sigh

The Empress — Where do your ideas come from? OR Do you seek out or avoid inspiration while working on an idea?

a lot of places!! tumblr being one of them, sometimes ill see a post where im like "huh that could be a game in some way" and ill stick it in my notes discord for later. but really anything, books, movies, songs, other games. im not the first to say this but u gotta read / watch / experience new things to make new things

The Hierophant — Who is a fellow game designer you’ve learned a lot from? OR What is a piece of popular wisdom about games you think is nonsense?

i answered the second one here so ill answer the first!

ive learned a lot from any designer whos game ive played or read, to start. but i wanna shout out @thydungeongal on here, her posts abt game design and rollmaster / d&d are highly highly fascinating and helpful to me, as a guy who hasnt even played d&d let alone any old school stuff and just kinda jumped into the indie scene from the start.

kinda makes me wanna play rollmaster, ngl. whats it doin with all those mechanics and tables =w=

The Chariot — What is the next project you’re planning to start OR What is the next project you’re excited to finish?

this has been my big question to myself recently, what game to really focus in on next. i have games that just need to be finished, but i think my next one* is gonna be this time travel game ive been thinking of

working title is Hooked, and the reason i think im going to start (and finish) it next is cause ive already got the main mechanic figured out, where when you fail a roll you can choose to create a hook, and in doing so succeed the roll

but that hook is a place where a future you has traveled back to that point in time and given you what you needed to succeed, which means at some point youre going to have to come back and close the loop, or else risk creating a paradox

too many paradoxes and the universe explodes so like. be careful :3!

it is going to be a lot of work, i want the general aesthetic to be the journal of a time traveler, with notes from all their future and past selves scrawled in the margins in different colors. and theres the question of if its a solo game or multiplayer, or both. solo-friendly is my current thought, but encouraged for more than one person. but we'll see how it actually plays.

The Hanged Man — What other creative pursuits do you have? OR What current trends in game design are you most interested in?

someone should ask me this again cause i wanna answer the other one also :3c

but! i have a crochet project on the mind so i wanna talk abt other stuff im into also :3

im currently considering ADHD and how it could possibly relate to myself, so just keep that in mind when i say ive dipped my paws into a whoooole lot of different creative hobbies. sewing, knitting, pottery, bookbinding, needle felting, jewelry making, and yea, crochet, are all stuff ive been into at one point or another

but my favorites are crochet and cooking / baking. for most of my life i thought my career was gonna be in food service! ive been a baker, cake decorator, and diner cook before, and loved all three of those jobs.

and crochet is great mainly cause you can make stuffed animals / amigurimis >:33 i loooove little guys and being able to choose what soft yarn im gonna make em out of, though its been a minute since ive made one. but!! like i mentioned ive got a project on the mind, as im gonna try and make the "something strange and indescribable" from the Before the Flood backerkit campaign and im very excited abt it :3 stay tuned for posts abt my success or failure on this front

The Devil — What motifs or mechanics do you just keep coming back to? OR What is a game you’ve enjoyed playing in the last year?

NIGHTHAWKS by @titanrpg is really really good. it has a heart in it, one that beats at an all too-familiar rhythm. when i played it we told a story that was perhaps a touch too close to home as well, disparate sad people sitting several stools apart at a dive bar in a small town.

i have a tendency towards comedy when i play ttrpgs, but my favorite moments are all when ive been deeply serious and sad, and thats what i got from NIGHTHAWKS

The Tower — Talk about about a game you tried to make that crashed and burned.

center of the known universe was an anthology of games i wanted to make a while back, all inspired by the part of the nevadan desert i live in. i dont think its crashed and burned necessarily but i certainly never finished it and im not sure i ever will, though i still like the ideas for some of the games and may release them individually

The Star — Talk about a game you’re working on and what excites you about it.

a game ive been working on for a looong time that i dont think ive really talked abt on here is The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused. its a descended from the queen game based on The Lady or The Tiger? short story, where (to put it very briefly) a king has created a new form of justice where the accused is put in an arena with two identical doors in front of them.

behind one door, a lady of an appropriate social standing for them to marry, behind the other a very hungry tiger. this leaves the verdict up to fate, for if the accused is innocent they will surely pick the door with the lady, and if they are guilty they will choose the door with the tiger.

but the accused in the story is also the lover of the lands princess, and when they look back at her for the last time she raises a hand and points towards one of the doors.

the question in the story is one of love. would the princess rather see her lover dead, or married to someone else?

what comes through the door, the lady or the tiger?

but! there are other characters in this story, with agency and lives of their own.

The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused instead asks a question of trust. when The Accused looks back towards their princess, and she raises her hand, do they trust her? do they open the door that she points towards?

its a game for three players, with each person playing one of the titular characters. it uses the descended from the queen format to create the character of the princess throughout play, along with the characters of The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused.

its a good game!! ive got a bit more work to do on it, mainly on the tiger role. not everyone is comfortable being an actual tiger and role playing scenes that involve communicating with humans or attending parties and such, it turns out.

but im really excited abt it overall :3 its good and fun and i think it uses the descended from the queen format really well and hopefully one day ill do a crowdfunding project for it and get enough money to hire a bunch of different artists to make princess illustrations for it >:333

The Sun — Talk about a game you’ve made that you’re proud of.

im proud of all of my games, in one way or another. but, with an obligatory Before the Flood mention (crowdfunding now!), im really and truly proud of my body is your body is our body is

it was my first kinda big game that i published, and there was a lot of stuff with the first edition i really wasnt super happy with. im really, really proud of myself for finally going back in this year and fixing it. its so much better now! in a lot of ways.

and i mean it was good to start with also, most of my problems were with the programming side of it. when i was making the second edition reading back through the game made me cry a bit lol. theres a lot of banger lines in there and a lot of feelings.

[autumn-may]

Ngl I'm thinking so hard abt the comic u made with isa and how he got the scar do you have thoughts on it? I'm rotating it in my brain....

Hm.. Well I guess I could share a bit on how I interpret the pre 358/2 days Akusai relationship, (and how beserk/the scar throws a wrench into it). this ended up being considerably longer than I thought It would be so the rest is under the read more (543 words under cut) 

A big reason I find this era interesting is because it kinda plays into how nobodies function as a whole? If that makes sense. Like the idea of how nobodies replicate the experiences/emotions of their past lives, without having the proper feelings to truly emulate them, and I think that’s really interesting with a relationship such as what was presented in bbs era Lea+isa. They really were close, and I’d suspect that after getting pretty-much-killed they’d still be close, either from a legitimate want or a urge to keep some norm from when they were somebodies. This would probably result in the slow deterioration of their relationship as they attempt to replicate an experience from a memory that’s around eleven years old by 358/2, and eventually their relationship becomes distorted (like trying to paint a portrait through a funhouse mirror). This is my main hc for how they got to the point seen in 358/2. 

A major thing that I think would ‘break’ this is Xemnas/the scar. It’s seen as abnormal by the other members that Saïx was able to reach his position as second-in-command, and that makes me wonder what sacrifices he had to make. The scar itself is what I’m using in the comic, but lunatic (and how he’s somewhat possessed by it when berserking if his nobodies are anything to go off of) is also a thing I think about a lot here. The scar itself is kinda unnecessary when you consider the fact that saïx. Already has a recusant's sigil in his name idk. It kinda feels like possessive if I’m being honest which is neat in reference to how kh2 saïx acts. (NOT suggesting saïx was 100% possessed, or unwilling to do what happened in kh2 that kinda weakens him as a character to me. But bro literally was a highly prioritized member of a cult at the age of 16 there is no way he wasn’t manipulated.) so yeah the scar and what it represents (greater importance in the running of the org) probably fricked them up a lot. 

And one final thing, subject X and loyalty. Just, saix runs on loyalty, he devotes himself wholeheartedly to a cause and loses himself to it. He *literally* gave up his humanity for a girl he doesn't even know the name of, and continued the search for her until he lost even the shadow of what he once was. I don’t know if I can attribute that level of devotion to Axel, and I think that conflict could create some interesting ideas. Specifically, the point in which Axel’s already started to doubt that subX is even real, and Saïxs is at the beginning of a downward spiral. There’s conflict in that! It’s interesting! 

In conclusion Akusai/leaisa is awesome because you get like twoish hours of them interacting in the whole series but every minute of that is so packed with implication and you know the characters individually and you know how the series functions enough to piece together what has to happen in order to get to how they’re shown in [insert cutscene here]. It’s cool and lets me think a lot about the ramifications™ thank you for coming to my Ted talk

[makwandis]

Mmmmm my take on drawing/portraying America or Canada as racialized people is that well its all in good fun but like if you poke a little deeper at . That idea. It can be quite sinister. Like to speak from my own Lane™️ the idea of some ...native person representing Canada or America it's just like... talk about a fuckin apple. Lol. I understand why people do it especially other poc and especially other natives but like at the same time it does seem to me that it'd just be coming from a place that shows ya don't know much abt what's going on in the front lines and how many of our people reject that Canadian and American identity outright and have very little to do w it. I know people who's kids were born in land occupied by Canada who refuse to register them with birth certificates and stuff because they're so against being Canadian. I know a lot of people myself included who take offense to that word Canadian we aren't none of that we been around much longer than even the countries the people who created Canada come from.

I think a native Canada (n I speak on that bc that's more my experience than with usa but ik it's similar lol) would be a level of fuckin...white washing appleness that would just be bizarre. . Like how would this native Canada person just not go "Hey Mr prime minister go fuck yourself". How would this native Canada person call themselves that when Canada barely exists and couldn't exist without treaty. Like. It is weeeeeird. I get we want representation but how about scrap America scrap Canada they are lame anyways and just make amazing ocs.... or you can change the whole story snd that Matthew Williams fella could be native still and maybe the Canadians think he's Canada but he knows he isn't and is doing stuff to like....fuck over the country. Idk man.

Have fun but also don't tell me it's something well thought out bc I don't think it really is most of the time... I like seeing some good fan art but I rlly dl think a native so called "canada" or "america" would need one hell of a backstory for it to make...sense and not just be some weird shit ya know.

But yeah hetalia is white af the source material is all about these dumb white boys. I think we should just step away from it and make ocs ngl.

Don't take this harshly tho.... i don't mean to hate on anyone especially other natives end of the day I get it it's a comfort thing fuck it we aren't actually harming our people . Maybe we are letting non natives think the wrong stuff but they do that anyways lol . But the conversation is interesting