#the kind of confidence you can trust
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best quality of king sisyphus :-] His smiles
#IDK i just feel like he'd gave an infectious grin#good humored man#aah whats it called..gallows humor? i think he'd have a hearty laugh. & laughs often#the kind of confidence you can trust#(& rally behind & such).#they took away his smile in his prime form because his smile WAS the sun#it beamed at you from across the desert and lit your spirits up
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been working on answering a prompt i received in an ask the other day, and so i'm back thinking about... the Thing... 💖🎀 and thought maybe prompt doodles might help me work through this a little?
so uhhh.... if by any wild chance anyone has any ship suggestions for starstruck...??? feel free to send them through!
#this is *only* for starstruck and is not general requests! i'm just trying to figure out how i feel about this 😳#obviously no guarantees that i will be confident enough to draw any of these or that i'll enjoy them all but i just... am considering it?#idk idk idk is this stupid....#hope i won't regret this or won't get genuinely weirdass things.#just to be transparent this is sfw exclusively tho implied flirting is a-okay. please don't be weird....? i'm trusting folks to be nice!!#i would also happily take little prompts if you have thoughts about how it would work or whichever! like if you're a character Understander#if you have an idea how it would Work or what it might Be Like that would also help me to get a concept on how i feel about it!!#also i would.. consider ocs (only from their creator) if you... wanna??? character+artist *must* be an adult. starstruck is in her early 30#also with ocs preferably from folks who i've at least interacted with before and like.. not just bc u want art ;;;#like... do u geniunely think they could have a cute dynamic? i'm just wondering if she could be Cute w someone. AUUghhGHHHH#again no promises and also for now i need this all done on the assumption it's just for fun!! just funsies. i'm just... thinking i guess!#want to try and figure out what it might be like if she WAS involved in a little ship/romo space...? as a treat? auughghhggghGHGLLG#also fair warning i may just get super embarrassed/nervous about this all and delete!! but i'm.. yknow. trying!#also i figure you can kind of tell my faves and who i hardly know much about. might not have lots of feelings about most side chars!#delete later#probably#wheeeeeEEEEeeahahahah okay;;; just post it. just post it starflung. just do it. hit the button hit the button hit the b
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lol I love the idea that Clarinette in her “Lime collects weird things I’ll find some weird things for him!” she accidentally finds something SUPER rare and hands it to him and he just casually pockets it. He thinks he can just get away with giving it to Mochi and taking all the credit but then has a mental crisis of LYING????? to MOCHI???????
Funny continuation of this is it’s AM (after Mochi) so he sheepishly confesses that Clarinette is the one who found it and Mochi goes up and thanks her
Sad contunuation of this is it’s BM (before Mochi) is him having a mental crisis of how dare he even think of lying to her. He would never lie to her before she left! What’s changed in me. And then slowly watching it wilt away.
OKAY FOR ALL FOUR OF THESE POINTS I WANNA SAY SOMETHINGS!!!!! first of all i love it and it makes me sad and happy thinking about them :')
1 ) first i think clarinette would think its so cute that lime collects random stuff. everyone says "Ah nice, so the witches cant use it. good thinking" but clarinette sees just a LITTLE bit past it and thinks its a weird and endearing hobby of his. imagine how disillusioned she is when she finds out "Oh, this cute quirky thing he does isnt actually a cute quirky thing, its him thinking of the other woman the whole damn time."
2 ) LIME ACTUALLY LIES TO MOCHI MORE THAN HE SHOULD!!!!!!!! and it SUCKS because its always to save himself from looking like a simp or a dumbass because the truth is embarrassing for him, but it damages her levels of trust in him unfortunately. and she keeps telling him to stop but then another thing comes up where he doesnt want to admit the truth so he lies again (lime flaw). one example is when she asks him why he stays in the m34th, and his answer is "Because they pay well and I'm bored," but no matter how much extra commissions she finds and money she can magic up, he stays anyway. she has to learn from fucking clarinette that he stays because they make him stronger (real lime quote). he doesnt want to tell mochi that he feels so inadequate and inferior when he cant keep up with her, and the m34th is the only way to get his ass up to her level consistently. without it hes back to 16 year old lime who can barely help for shit in the face of magic and monsters
3 ) THAT LAST POINT IS SO TCWG IN NATURE!!!!!!!!!!! lime finding a super rare ingredient and its about to go bad so fuck it, sell it to the merchant. maybe he can keep it fresher than me and i get some money for it. and mochi sees it among the merchants wares and buys it :') bonus points if however shes keeping it fresh with magic, he sees it among her spell ingredients years later. its not IMPOSSIBLE to find one, its just so rare that makes him think if its the same one <3
(and of course the merchant doesnt say shit about where he got it. mochi goes "wow! so rare! where did you get this!" and instead of telling the TRUTH he goes "Industry secret!")
#sometimes i struggle with giving characters flaws but in the best case scenario they crop up organically#lime being a liar for the sake of his pride and shame is a good one though#he doesnt lie for no reason but this is also one of the worst kinds of lying#the kind that fractures trust for little reward#can you imagine how hurt mochi mustve felt when she heard that from clarinette#appearently he confides more in her than in me she thinks#and i thought we were best friends she also thinks#its okay shes hurt him plenty of times over before she can take a little hurt#compared to the emotional blow lime got when she left that festered for 3 years after this is nothing#a consequence of bitterness perhaps#EXCELLENT IDEAS ALL OF THESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#i should've just gatekept scott thompson from my college bc the way my college is treating me right now is bullshit#like i don't even want to do the scott event anymore bc of how they're treating me but i kind of have to#and i know i should be grateful they're even letting me be one of the interviewers but i hate being a student so much#i hate how nobody respects my opinion or input or experience even tho i'm literally the reason scott's even doing this event#(and ESPECIALLY the reason he's willing to do it for free!!)#and it especially stings bc scott has never made me feel like my insights were worth less because i'm a student#like he's always been one of the few people who consistently treat me like we're equals even tho he doesn't have to#and the way my college is treating me. it's like they don't trust me to not be an annoying little kid#like they're just assuming scott doesn't respect me so they don't have to respect me either#i mean on the plus side i'm supposed to have another phone call with scott either today or tomorrow so i can probably explain the situation#like i don't want to make him feel negatively about my college i want him to have a good time#but this treatment is genuinely fucking with my self confidence#and also maybe i can harness scott's power to hear ''don't talk about this thing'' and immediately make the interview all about this thing#(except in this case it would be him treating me like an equal instead of a random student)#and there's a bunch of bullshit currently going on with the class i have right after the event#so even tho originally i was like ''awesome i have the perfect schedule to bring scott to all of my classes!!''#i might just ask scott if he wants to skip class together and hang out. like i never promised that class anything#the only thing i *have* to do is the interview. the class we'd be skipping is already being like#''oh are you sure scott wants to visit the class i don't want to take him away from a better use of his time''#and scott was genuinely excited to see what my classes were like!! even if y'all didn't treat him like a big celebrity!!#but y'know what i'm sure scott does have a better use of his time. and i do too.#i'm gonna do the interview event bc i have to (we're in too deep at this point)#and i might ask scott if he wants to talk to that freshman film class about the buddy cole doc#bc 1. they offered to pay scott for that (they can't legally pay me but that's why i made the joke about money laundering)#2. since it's about the doc it's the one class where i get to be treated like an actual person#but other than that. damn it i was excited to share this part of my life with scott but fuck that this part of my life sucks#i'm gonna have a good time with scott in boston and my college is only going to be as much a part of is as they have to be#because we ARE friends (scott said so!) and i AM a brilliant filmmaker (bruce said so!) and i DO have potential (bellini said so!)#even tho it is hard to internalize those things after how much yesterday fucked me up. but that's ok scott will call again soon
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it is 11pm and i am thinking about dire/turned killer verse aliases again just bc they’re neat to me. and bc they represent little fragments of just completely unresolved trauma in him. they are so deep delusions and specific to nosy trajectories rly but i’m so glad renee invited me to think about it one time
#dallas is the most like him… used to be disarming and sweet and boy next door and make you trust him so so easy#laurel is like. unresolved sexuality shit and self expression within kind of. a restrictive situation. used to Be Anyone But Himself#among some other like. personally destructive self-associations ig laurel is more confident than he will ever be. it’s just a mask#and jude is like what if i just mirrored johnny as a coping mechanism. and what if i got all this anger and grief out of me in violence#an outlet and a mask that he can wear to be particularly brutal while also hard disconnecting himself from the act of killing#truly the vicious guard dog alias
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you all should think better of yourselves
#i'm not gonna qualify this with context. you should think better of yourselves#you should believe in yourselves more and trust that you are actually capable and likable and all that#if you are so doubting of yourself it is hard to believe you when you say you can do things. but also. usually you are wrong#if you just think poorly of everything you have ever done and your own personality then you are almost certainly making some kind of like#cognitive distortions somewhere#it is your job to talk yourself up to everyone else. you are your own ambassador and all that. you should think better of yourselves#no one else will do it for you until you start to lead the way. you know?#shaking my fist at you all like "BE MORE FUCKING CONFIDENT!!!!''#like a fucking shonen side character
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Let’s put it all on the line, see who’s victorious (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#IRL vent stuff in the tags be warned#I've mentioned offhand that Kaiein is inspired by various sources but overall mostly on one person#And I've been very low contact with that person for years now - but I'm going to meet with them in the near future#I'm nervous as you can imagine haha#But I'd like it infinitely more to have to change Kaiein than to have him reinforced so I'm trying to feel hopeful as well#Either way I'm prepared. Either I get to do some rewriting or I have a very well-worn established outlet#Haha - it's a bit funny actually since there's no one-to-one translation but there is a kind of asymmetrical equivalence going on here#I pretty much never include my family in my sonas' stories - which is double funny since I love being an older sibling so much lol#That aspect rarely makes it into my sonas! I guess I feel like it's not my place to make characters for my loved ones lol#But IRL they're my support system <3 I'm in good hands and I trust them to have my back with what I need to face#And Charm has her wings! The Staff! She has something to rely on that make her more capable and confident!#It's not The Same Thing but it's how it feels ♥ The power of love and friendship!! It makes me stronger!!#And that's what makes the difference between Charm as a villain and a Hero :)#I used her TVAU outfit here - or one of the temps anyway :P - but honestly this is probably how S2 would go down hehe <3#You're no match for Charm when she knows she's loved!! She'll fight you to full defeat!#I wonder how he'd react#Guess I'll find out real soon#Wish me luck
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Do you ever read a post where someone is explaining a pokitical thing and from the way they're saying you know with absolute certainty 1) they got their info from a tumblr post and have never actually followed up on how feasible that information actually is to act upon (they may not even have checked if it was CORRECT, but when they do they have clearly not looked into how easy or hard it may be to follow those instructions with a positive outcome), and 2) you know WHICH tumblr post they're quoting because it is basically a copy/paste of it, and 3) it was YOUR goddamn post and the thing they are saying is entirely counter to the point you were making when you said it to the point that you genuinely wonder if they just like. Memory-holed the entire context once they saw that one itty bitty point.
It's like the motherfuckiny dating apps all over again. I do not want people to love my words if they are not actually willing to do the work of understanding them! Didn't your kindergarten ever make you play Telephone to teach you how heresay falls out????
#sometimes i feel like a prized 12 point buck and everyone is desperate to give chase so they can skin me and wear my pelt in memorium#the luxury of being seen is rarely extended to those we perceive as confident/constant in their sense of self#the path of being a child who was constantly told i was making people uncomfortable and alienating my peers#only to immediately become an adult who everyone perceives as so together that they are just Like That With Everyonr#brennan said something like this in the disection of a recent misfits and magic episode about sam (character)#and how he (as evan) realized that the charm and specialness she gifts to everyone around her means that no one ever really gifts it back#and how that fundamentally felt transcendent and revelatory for evan as a turning point idea#he'd spent so long never trusting others feelings of care for him that he couldn't see how he was bulldozing right into and over sam's own#insecurities about whether or not she is worth loving or is special in the same way#and then they had some back and forth about like#sometimes when you develop the skill of relateability and pacification#you disappear so deeply into it that no one notices you're gone - even you yourself - until it's too late#it put to words a lot of the like#gap. that i've always felt between me and others. this insistance on elevating or pathologizing me depending on where they feel the need#to be in relation to me#while having absolutely zero awareness of my actual positioning in relation to them#i have found that they way i interact with others seems to give the impression that because i am being 'genuine' and 'open' about myself#that ALSO means that I am sharing the whole of me.#and when i talk about destigmatization and shame and people work really hard to be like. aware of the edges of me to carch me embarrassed#like if they can prove that i don't 'admit' something it's because i'm ashamed as opposed to considering that maybe they don't have the kind#of relationship with me that would warrant the sharing of it#because i'm willing to talk i am no longer allowed privacy or it's treated as incongruous#but like. i am different people for different people and they are all authentically me but they are also about faciliting the version#of the other person that matters to me to be able to spend time with. i'm not going to bring the parts of me that put you in a bad mood#or aren't comfortable/safe for you. also probably not going to put those things out into the open world as a mixed company conversation#i don't know where I'm going or where I came from here but i think the point is just that I think there's melancholy in seeing when#you also don't know a reliable way to be seen in turn
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I love being alive so much im going to like cry
#did you know not just caring for yourself but knowing you’re making a huge effort to care for yourself will feel so so special#it feels like there’s someone for you being kind to you all the time#and there is#and you like enjoy every minute again and you can’t wait until tomorrow to do it again#you can’t wait for the next time you get to take your pills or cook yourself breakfast or stretch your legs good#caring today isn’t just caring once it’s providing confidence that you have support again every day#you trust yourself#you know you will be kind later too#even if you fall in a hole for a while again#nothing can break that trust that you’ve already lived#and you remember if I could do it that that time I can do it again#maybe you haven’t lived long enough to see how much trust you can give yourself#ok sappy rant over#being happy isn’t just a feeling it’s looking forward to the next day when it’s the same as this one#and you don’t need everything to be ok in life to feel it#did you hear me#it DOESNT have to be all ok
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Hold onto your hats, Fujoshi nation. Your local Sanegiyuu disaster has a hot new fic just for you locked and loaded
#got far enough that I feel confident with the first chapter I think#working title is still ghost of you pt II but so far it’s#CHECK OUT HOW HARD I CAN PROJECT ONTO SANEMI#watch as I clumsily weave between Sanemi’s daddy issues his guilt complex his fear of commitment and his Gay Panic#also sorry genya I’m giving you my hair pulling disorder :)#CANON ISNT REAL IF I DONT LOOK AT IT#I really really want a scene where Sanemi goes to Mitsuri for advice about Giyuu#and Giyuu goes to Tengen for advice about sanemi#because it would make me laugh#but it’s kind of. serious. so far. so I don’t think that would really fit#mitsuri is like ‘ooh you have to let him in! you have to let him trust you! you deserve to be loved :))’#and Tengen is like grAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT—#ok that’s enough outta you#postcards from stupid town
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Some of Ya'll have no idea how to write impulsive characters and it shows
Say it with me kids:
Impulsive does not mean stupid.
Impulsive does not mean no common sense
I see too many people write impulsive characters as fucking idiots. As a fairly impulsive person myself, it makes me angry.
Every human being occasionally gets the the urge to do or say something that wouldn't be socially acceptable or would only make things worse, especially when they're emotional. Often (but not always, everyone does impulsive actions occasionally) people will think "no, I shouldn't do/say that" and then they don't do or say it. An impulsive person doesn't think twice about it. They do or say something potentially harmful, irresponsible, not socially acceptable, etc. and only AFTERWORDS do they realize oh fuck I shouldn't have done/said that fuck fuck fuck fuck.
An impulsive character will still make a plan of action. They might have a hard time sticking to that plan. An impulsive person will be easier to provoke into anger or another emotional outburst, but impulsivity is different from a "heat of the moment" outburst. Impulsive actions are quick.
Calling your girlfriend a bitch in the middle of an argument is pretty impulsive (and also not okay, lemme be clear about that). Making an entire "the reason you suck" speech towards your girlfriend is not impulsive (although a quick "the reason you suck" summary or bullet point list can be an impulsive action).
Punching someone in the face because they insulted you is impulsive. Doing an entire beatdown because someone insulted you is not impulsive, but can have roots in impulsivity - impulsive characters can sometimes get to the "heat of the moment BSoD" stage faster.
might add more points later, idk. Hope this makes sense.
#Yes this is about Jason Todd#everyone either writes him as a reckless dangerous idiot or they just completely erase his impulsivity#Even though that's one of his main character flaws#Him trying to save his mom was in fact an impulsive decision#or at least the way he did it kind of was (Hear me out here)#He cared about her and wanted to save her#and he focused so much on saving her that he had a hard time sticking to the plan he made#He impulsively trusted her#This is NOT me trying to say “yeah Jason's death was his own fault he got himself killed”#I've seen ppl say that shit that is NOT what I'm saying#It's important to note that flaw ≠ Bad Thing#a FLAW is simply something that makes a character more complex#Being too blunt is a flaw. Being too proud is a flaw. Being too confident is a flaw. Not being confident ENOUGh is a flaw.#Fatal Flaws exist#and Jason's is impulsivity#that does NOT make him stupid or anything like that#I"m very passionate about this#you can be a competent adult and still have impulsivity as a main flaw
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terfs will be like WE’RE EVERYWHERE WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE YOUR FAMILY IS ALL TERFS YOUR BABY COUSIN IS A TERF YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A TERF OURS NUMBERS GROW BY THE DAY like lmaoooo okay. only terf i’ve ever met irl was a girl in the psych ward. she also talked about being able to talk to animals and being part of the illuminati so. that’s kind of embarrassing for you guys
#not making fun of her or anything#i was in there too#just saying like. only terfs i’ve met were already not mentally stable#so why would i trust their judgement#when they say they’re everywhere it’s like okay lol no there’s like. two of you#in your little echo chamber#being hateful and spiteful and bitter#and some queer people are guilty of being in their own echo chambers#but the ones i know (and myself) tend to be pretty open to new ideas#we’re just confident in our beliefs and morals and sometimes decide that we don’t agree with something and that ≠ being closed minded#anyways it’s kind of sad to see radfems who are clearly traumatized and hurt by the awful world we live in but they choose to become hatef#i genuinely hope that all the radfems out there get peace and see that being trans or using microlabels or being kinky isn’t bad#and that they can be themselves#which doesn’t mean they have to be queer and kinky or whatever#just not hate everyone who is#and i hope they feel safe enough to not constantly attack others#there’s this quote somewhere that’s like#‘if you try to eliminate the groups of people you hate you will have failed in your goal and you will have commited atrocities’#n that’s kind of how i feel about this#okay rant over lmaooo#radfem#radblr#radical feminism#transgender#mogai#terfblr#terfs
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i am amazed that you managed to write 10k words about two absolute fucking losers having sex. a props to your writing ability, truly
dude it being cringefail nerdloser porn is exactly what gives me so much to say
#like if you're a person like chosen or augustus it is statistically unlikely that you've had a life that was kind to you#and sex can be extremely intimate and extremely exposing and extremely HONEST and it's a fun way to play with how someone feels#about their partner about their body about their relationship with pleasure how they interact with space around them how that has shaped#their life and like body confidence is so hard to come by when you're a cringefail nerdloser so exactly how many kinds of trust are#going into this. you're scared you're terrified this is the safest you've ever felt you've never felt better than you do beneath his touch#i love intimacy#ask answered#anonymous#thank u for the compliment i just also have so much to say to the surprise of no one
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i am so tired of people suddenly posting reactionary shit about articles from 2 years ago that were walked back as proof to discredit humanitarian organizations like my dudes do the bare minimum of media literacy and acknowledging nothing is infallable especially when people then take it back and do better. fucking hell.
#especially when people involved were like “not wrong but missing context makes it easy to leverage as propaganda”#literally at a point where i trust nothing from no one#and its not just an “online” thing its people i know irl pulling this shit out#and me getting to be like “cool did you look up literally anything else about this”#then being met with a resounding no and explanations as to why apparently you can trust a singular emotional post#like damn bitch wish i had that kind of igborance is bliss confidence to be dumb#except its horiffically problematic and hypocritical 🙃
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Y'know I'm trans myself and I just thought about saying "you silly girl" to another trans person and it just...doesn't...feel right? It feels sexual, or insulting, but I'd call any male a "silly boi" no hesitation like hell yeah we're all silly bois, I'll even call them a silly girl occasionally if I'm feeling wacky, who knows, I'm like a thumbtack that fell in your bed that you can't find.
I think a large reason there's such a hostile initial reaction of disdain for primarily MtF's is that, even now there's apart of me that's socially constructed to stop and go: "Oh, oh no, don't say that to a woman" while it's honestly rather normalized to just be gay with the bros sometimes.
But being gay with women, especially when you're actually not at all a hyper aggressive Magat, feels like flirting, feels like belittlement, and feels oddly taboo. There's a language barrier where what I want to say I can't and what I do say may be bad with a specific person.
I never really gave any BoD about living being's differences from birth to present to be critical of their character or empathy. But growing up you're basically told "don't ever, EVER, do xyz to womans" as an actual toddler and it just builds up this idea that like, oh, I should just avoid that obvious hurdle because I might turn out to be a bad person, I'm a Literal Toddler, so I best go with my gut on this!
Reinforce this with failing to talk with or ask a gorl to do the date, meaning ostracization (that cud b 4evr!1!!) and you got a recipe for "How the FUCK do you talk to a women" for a shit load of socially awkward kids who got to learn emotional regulation through their mothers and thus all women must be like that and shit ya'll being a man sucks. (not projectio- NOT PROJECTI-)
As a VERY young'un, I always thought it was just universal that guys wanted to be gorls and gorls wanted to be guys, but primarily that I'd prefer being female, but without the restrictions placed upon them. I basically empathized with both situations because to me, it just felt like women would be left to do the dumbest shit and most times yeah, they fuckin' hated it. Thank god, that's not what being a women is!
I don't really know how you even begin to express that to anyone to get them to understand that there's issues in all aisles because humanity is building off some shit foundations but by golly they're foundations we can build off of regardless. (The meaning of life is other life, we build off the foundations of others so that others may build off our foundations)
With guys I just don't have that "Wait, don't say that" taboo feel in my brain, and NO I'm not trying to blame anyone other than social constructs and whatever area I personally grew up in and events in life that happened only and specifically to me to reach this point in my life that you hadn't.
I think this also creates another issue where it becomes "who can be shittier and more...-" wow I wanted to say woke but the left co-opted it for some reason, to me it just means conspiracy theorist, not... an empathetic normal person? Idunno. "conspiratorial to justify it for everyone"
If ya ask me, that's a LARGE reason why guys struggle to talk to gorls. They're not allowed to be gay around them, they're not allowed to be vile either and good honestly, this is a men's issue. They're just not willing to take a, since birth reinforcement, risk, and it will internalize for alot of them, a fear that a mistake could be the end of your "good person" badge, however realistic that is/n't.
What it comes down to, to me, is most men probably aren't gonna speak up on alot of issues because it's tied into their friend groups, and let's be honest, if you lose a friend, you're probably -1 for a whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilee. And then you'll have no one to grow with and reinforce the path you've taken. Again, it's all ostracization. Alot of us got lucky to be around people that straightened our bullshit and called out our bigotry and "dark humor".
I don't...know how to word this, but with how bad it's looking for R's in the upcoming elections, I think we're gonna REALLY need to buckle down on removing the MAGA virus of division, by opening a path for people in a cultural way. I'm guessing here, but I'd imagine most righty's think they're perma-banned from leftism, and most of them? Can't be helped. But we can bring alot of people into a brighter world, not by softening our language or being easier on fascism, but by saying, You Can Change, We Believe In You. When that level of ostracization of self-awareness hits them? They'll have no where else to go but normalcy if they're reasonable and open to growing.
It's not for one reason, but a variety of complex, nuanced, and difficult to confront paths to consider. None of us are to blame, we're all just on the path of growth and thinking in a desert of doubt surrounded by mother nature's righteous fury of confusion. And someone keeps breaking bottles everywhere.
Yes whatever I forgot to mention, you should elaborate upon, and whatever lengths behind you that I am, I'd love to see that path enlightened. And yeah I definitely could've worded that better. Ngl man I have only had 2 hardees burgers the past 5 days due to tooth/mouth issues stemming back to 2019 that no doctor...could or would, fix. I'll be able to eat again tho soon no worries bb.
#lgbtq#transgender#big ol' personal ramble#tbh I found this guy that's now my role model named ulillillia#Like the dude's an oddball but you can't fight the genuine care you'll grow for him just learning about this cool ass guy#and if they can be that cool and open as hell about themselves#well shit I can try to be cool and open too#If you need a self-worth coach that's the real lifestyle guru#straight up#there's no doubt and never a shred of animosity#just an aura of unflinching confidence#If you're an oddball. Check em out. You'll learn there's no limit to how cool you can be for yourself#and you'll not want to emulate their hobbies or beliefs because it's genuinely too much work for anyone haha#but you'll clone that confidence man. You'll understand what's holding you back. Which is not having known ulillillia. (it's yourself)#(so be kind)#Oh yeah uh#philosophy?#sure#talking to women#yeah that tag looks great#yeah just put that on my profile please#yeah next to the political stuff#I need a new blog#this was meant to be a youtube blog over a decade ago haha#I guess when all you really have is opinions you can trust and believe in enough to be wrong and change#and your brain fried from shrooms nearly a decade now (god why) hindering your ability to well. Anything. Specifically edit#you just kinda go#well shit#I can still write#and think well enough
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Don't know why when I switched in I immediately felt like I was dying, but I guess we're back in the fuckin' building again.
#TT.txt#/ref. I mean I know exactly why and its just Mysterious Cluster B Bullshit#My partner had kind of a weird and rough time today and he ageslid and it was a brief but kind of scary mess. And I worry.#He's a whole adult and knows his own limits but I fret and worry and wring my faggoty little hands anyway because I love him and want#him to be okay always. He's really really important to me.#It's just.... excruciatingly hard being LDR for 12 years. I feel like I can't do much to help when he's in a rough spot and I'm over here.#I worry that I'm not the best at taking care of him when he's vulnerable like that too.#🧩 is the guy who looks after him usually because he's our Caretaker. I literally splintered him off just for that when we were kids#I'm getting better but I don't really have the confidence yet. That parts new to me.#Sounds weird maybe but y'know... plural. Shit can be sectioned off like this. But I'm usually the one being looked after by him.#And I'm the kind of person who isn't happy just taking. I want to give back very badly but I'm still... figuring out how to do that#in a healthy way.#I want to take care of and spoil my partners because they deserve it & it also makes me happy or at the very least settled and content.#Grounded I think is a better word. Yeah its grounding.#When take care of them sucessfully I'm also proving to myself that I'm capable of being okay. That I can trust myself too.#I just kind of really want to hold him right now :( when will the fucking borders let me see my husband again.#Sorry for tuning you in to self-therapy with Dirk but it's also my blog. Hi if you've read all this.#I love my pluralpolycule and I want to make sure they're all okay and not wanting for anything.#Legit all I want to fuckin' do is walk around with a goddamn tray of snacks for them all like everyone's housewife.#That'd be the life. I'd be so content doing that I'm so serious.#our t
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