lifesver

[lifesver]

good morning now i'm crying about the kids all having fun just being college students at parties and dancing and laughing and not knowing the things that wait for them. and kids who got so close in such a short amount of time. esp leland who just met the friends that year and anyway he loves them sm and is so thankful to have got to know them

[lifesver]

i can’t form a coherent hc post but there is just something to me w leland about him having a bit of a weird relationship with his body that starts with his insecurity and changes as he gains confidence (or safety depending on the verse) and all that. but it starts as a not-totally-comfortable in his own skin kind of relationship for sure. that was always my reading of his otherwise funny amount of jackets and stuff that covers him up. separate but still related i think there is something to how he treats his body entirely as a shield for his friends during the events of the house. he puts his entire worth down into how well he can take a hit, how many, for how long.

[lifesver]

sometimes you write characters for a long enough time they start coming up with their own themes and narratives and generational trauma not touched on by the canon whatsoever—

[lifesver]

comparing leland to his dad like sorry ur son is a babyfaced disappointment to you

[lifesver]

i’ve definitely made a hunger games au post before but leland is so finnick to me.

[lifesver]

thinking about leland's big expressive cartoon puppy eyes and how his eyebrows punch up and furrow down very dramatically with his expressions. big goofball smile that comes up at the corners of his eyes

[lifesver]

played tcsm for the first time in months and first game on we faced a 3stack on family house and when i was the last victim the bubba carried me to grandpa's room instead of the gallows and the cook padlocked the door and the hitchhiker trapped the crawlspace and we all kind of hung out in there for a while

[lifesver]

rae made me sad and also specifically i'm sad about leland in dusk. how to begin with, he is someone who will make the ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate act of love, to try to give his friends just a handful of precious seconds to get away. no guarantee they'll be safe, but he'll give up if he can give them a better shot. that's his job, that was his only job. and he will watch them disappear down the road, or across an overflowing river, and think that the last thing he will do will be love them, and protect them, because he loves them. that's worth something. that's not a bad way to die.

but he doesn't die, and he loves them like that only to have that love rot, fade, change shape, change meaning over time. only to forget, how much he loved them, and that they loved him too. forgetting that anyone else at all loves him and wishes he'd come home. forgetting there's much else but the family's love, the walls of the basement cells, the fences around the property. love and longing for love as something that guides his every move, love as something that defeats him, will always, every time, doom him. love as something that he will always lean toward the touch of, even when it is a cold hand. this got off-track, but i think it's important that his heart is both his best quality and his worst flaw and i hope that always comes across.

[lifesver]

have you seen him?

now you have

[lifesver]

on one hand, verse where leland is a baby angel cast down into a sunflower field like a burning comet because he's little mermaid coded and longs to experience the human world but of course he doesn't understand why and thinks there must be something wrong with him or that god doesn't love him. but he gets to experience human things like music and flower fields and old movies.

on the other hand? sort of supernatural style angel who comes down to find a scared boy bleeding out in the sunflowers and offering him the choice to become a vessel, to save him from dying. both of them are him but also yk... something about never being able to go home in two different ways

[lifesver]

a little amv i put together for my friends for our bg3 campaign. <3

[lifesver]

RENEE MADE ME A BG3 LELAND AMV 😭💗💗💗

[lifesver]

the left one is fantasy bellbottoms if u think about it.

[lifesver]

he's sort of a barbie to me in this game

[lifesver]

mhw just has nongendered body types and sometimes i just nod and go 'leland trans'

[lifesver]

he's a silly guy and a dweeb. if u even care