#the issue is actually setting my mind to it because my mind is an unpredictable piece of crap sometimes

[nickbutnodick]

my kryptonite is my ironically short attention span and fear of failure

[sarnai4]

Teamwork

This is going to sound a little odd given how some of my previous posts mentioned Viggo being very dismissive of Dagur...BUT I'm going to throw this idea out there. Imagine Viggo and Dagur as actual business partners/crime buddies. (Spoilers ahead)

Now, just hear me out. They are extremely different, yes, but I think their strengths balance the other's weaknesses. Let's consider Viggo. His biggest flaw is what I like to somewhat affectionately call his Viggo ego. The man is cocky to a new level. He couldn't even imagine someone betraying him, not him because he's the genius Viggo Grimborn. He can tell Dagur to follow orders and that he's dumb and he'll do nothing. Oops, okay, he did something. Viggo can ridicule his brother time and time again and Ryker will obviously do nothing to him because who can, right? Well, Ryker apparently can turn on him. Hmm, weird. Okay, for real this time, no one else can try to touch him. Dang it, Krogan and Johann! Just had to try to kill the guy. Don't you know that no one can go against Viggo? He's amazing. Well, that's the thing, he is, but he's so aware of that fact that he sets himself up for failure by not even considering real dangers as threats. It's really Viggo's only weak area. Besides that, he's incredibly strategic, level-headed, cool, charismatic, etc. He just needs to balance out that arrogance of his. I think Dagur could help him with this.

Despite Dagur definitely being a cocky guy too, he's nowhere near Viggo's level. To put it in perspective, the guy didn't even fight back after getting choked out because he didn't want to mess up his plan. He never said anything when the Grimborns mocked him and he also let Alvin think he was in charge back in DoB. This is the type of influence Viggo needs in his life. If he's willing to listen, Dagur could help open his eyes to the people around him and how they aren't all on his side. Honestly, once Viggo doesn't have to worry about his "allies" trying to kill or betray him, he's pretty much good. That removes about 70% of his problems. Even just in the two interacting, Dagur could probably help Viggo gain some humility and learn to not underestimate people. It would be difficult for the crime boss to accept that someone like Dagur is actually smart, so it would be an important first step for him to take. Afterwards, he could probably start opening his mind more to different forms of intelligence and not just assuming, "I'm better than you and you'll never stand a chance against me," when meeting someone.

Considering Dagur, I think his biggest weakness is his temper. No, not his mind. That's not fair and honestly not true. Him being deranged has led to him being unpredictable, a valuable trait when going up against people. He's also still very capable, so it's never held him back. His temper on the other hand. Woo. Yeah, that causes some issues. He gets angry over tiny things and just cannot function anymore. Dagur, if you stayed calm, you probably would've expected the tail to the face when Heather and the Riders left. Probably would've also not retreated in fury when the A Team showed up. This is how he had his first real loss against Hiccup back when they were kids because he was so angry at the provocation that he didn't pay attention and took him on with the Skrill, electrocuting himself. He had the advantage before that because of the numbers, but he reacted too hastily. Just have to get that temper under control.

Viggo is so calm and reasonable that I could see him helping with this. Even in times when he's lost, he can respect a game well played. There are times when he's lost his temper, but it's very rare and he generally keeps a cool head. Now, he'd need to not be condescending towards Dagur since that would make it worse, but I think he could be beneficial. Viggo getting through to Dagur, finding out why he actually gets so furious about things and helping him calm down/think things through when he's in one of those states would really help him out.

So, this friendship would definitely take time to work. It also might take some situations where they're forced to rely on each other first, but I think there's potential. Unfortunately, this would ultimately be to the detriment of the world because a Viggo who doesn't underestimate his foes and a Dagur who doesn't let his anger get the better of him are a deadly duo.

[frazzledsoul]

rory and dean, part three: we’re really just fucking kidding ourselves at this point, or why rory does not deserve 99% of the blame for this disaster

So, OG Gilmore Girls fans may recall that Dean Forester’s ill-advised marriage to his rebound girlfriend was actually an attempt to write him off the show. Jared had filmed a pilot for a Young Macgyver show (you can watch most of it online here), but the WB ultimately passed so we (and Rory) were stuck with Dean for another year and a half. One wonders what would have happened if they hadn’t passed. Would we never have heard from Dean again? Would ASP have roped him into a few guest appearances anyway and attempted to do the same storyline? Would they just have gotten Milo to guest star for season four? Would Rory have run away with Jess in that scenario? Who knows.

Anyway, let’s revisit the issue of Dean vs Jess at the end of season four, after Rory rejects Jess’s plea to run away with him

RORY: Anyway, I left the pub, got back to my dorm, and Jess was there. LANE: What did he want? RORY: He wanted me to come away with him. LANE: Oh, my God! What did you say? RORY: I said -- I don't know. It was so weird. He was just... Jess. I mean, he shows up out of no where with this crazy proposal. It was awful. LANE: It doesn't sound awful. RORY: What are you talking about? Jess bailed on me twice. LANE: I know, but how incredibly romantic to have this guy show up out of the blue and want to take you away with him. RORY: When I first met Jess, I thought, "What could be better than this? He's smart, good taste in books and music, so cute." But Jess is great one minute and then the next - you know, as far as I know, I could have said yes, packed my bag, and by the time I got to the car, he would have changed his mind. LANE: It's part of why he's cute. He's unpredictable. RORY: I guess. You know, when I was with Dean, I always knew that no matter what happened, he would be there. LANE: Dean was very dependable. RORY: It was more than that. He's -- well, he was so... um, I was safe, and he was so nice to me. LANE: He really loved you. RORY: I think I really blew it there, you know? I didn't appreciate it. LANE: Every girl has to fall for a bad boy. It's the rule. It's the reason so many accountants eventually get married.

While this fits nicely with my headcanon that Dave eventually became an accountant, that is neither here nor there. I think this is the only time Rory really is shown processing the breakup with Jess until he shows up again in season 6 and how it led her to the Dean disaster, because as schmoopy as she gets about Dean in the twelve hours or so after she sleeps with him, it’s clear that she’s mostly looking for affirmation and stability, and not to get dragged down by feelings she can’t trust or control.

And of course, she had pretty much zero boundaries with Dean prior to this: crying on his shoulder, haranguing him about not going to college, knowing that Lindsay wouldn’t approve of him hanging out with her at night and doing it anyway. Who was going to tell her she shouldn’t do that, after the example her parents set for her over and over? Anyway. Moving on.

So, let’s go over Dean’s seduction technique, which mostly involves him lying his ass off.

DEAN: It's not working with Lindsay. I can't make it work. I've tried. RORY: Are you sure? Because I've heard that the first two years of marriage are the hardest. DEAN: We're not happy. She's not happy, and I can't make her happy. RORY: I can't imagine that. DEAN: It was a mistake, and I know that now. From the very beginning, it wasn't - RORY: Wasn't what? DEAN: It wasn't... RORY: Maybe you could, um, go see a counselor or go away together. DEAN: No, it's just -- it's over. We both feel it. I know we both feel it. RORY: You and Lindsay? DEAN: Yeah, me and Lindsay. RORY: You both feel it's over? DEAN: I tried. We tried. RORY: Well, if it's over, I'm sorry. DEAN: You are? RORY: I'm sorry you're not happy. DEAN: I'll be happy again. Things happen for a reason, right?

Not to completely absolve Rory for all of this as she definitely should have gone on more than Dean’s word, but he absolutely lied to her face after she gave him three chances in a row to come clean. He made sure to follow her to her house, where she would be alone, and manipulated her into having sex with him. Yet somehow Rory is shamed for being the seductress who tempted him into breaking his vows.

Let’s move on to Lorelai, who is actually speaking sense on matters of morality, for once.

LORELAI: But he's married. RORY: You don't understand the situation. LORELAI: Is he still married? RORY: Yes, but - LORELAI: Then I understand the situation. RORY: It's not working out between them. They're not happy. LORELAI: Oh, Rory. RORY: He tried the best he could, but it didn't work. It's over. LORELAI: [ Sighs ] He told you that? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: He told you he's leaving her? RORY: Well - LORELAI: He told you he's moving out, they're getting divorced, he's got a lawyer, they've divided up the monster-truck season tickets? RORY: We didn't get around to discussing everything.

Yeah, Rory, because he lied and told you exactly what he needed to so that you would fuck him. He never actually made any steps towards leaving his wife, and he won’t until he’s forced to,

RORY: He's not a married guy. He's Dean -- my Dean.

LORELAI: He's not your Dean. He's Lindsay's Dean. You're the other woman. RORY: I told you, it's over. LORELAI: It's not over until he's out of the house with the ring off. RORY: He took the ring off. LORELAI: Oh, my God, I don't believe this. RORY: He's in love with me, not Lindsay. LORELAI: Does Lindsay know that? RORY: She's not good for him, okay? She lets him quit school and work himself to death and - LORELAI: No, Rory, uh-uh, you can't be one of those girls who blames the wife for forcing the husband to cheat.

Funny how Lorelai was exactly like that when Christopher was having problems with Sherry and not only slept with him before he had moved out or officially broken up with her, but bragged about it to Sookie, paraded him all around Stars Hollow, and let everyone she knew about their burgeoning relationship, including her parents. It would be strange if that happened to come up again, right?

LORELAI: This is your first time. It's just not the way your first time was supposed to be. RORY: Oh, and how was my first time supposed to be? LORELAI: Well, first of all, it was supposed to be in a retirement home. And secondly, ideally, it was supposed to be with someone single. RORY: My first time was with someone sweet and kind who loves me. LORELAI: I didn't raise you to be like this. I didn't raise you to be the kind of girl who sleeps with someone else's husband. RORY: You slept with dad when he was with Sherry. LORELAI: He wasn't married to Sherry. RORY: He was engaged, and she was pregnant. LORELAI: So, this is all my fault? I set one crappy example for you, and you have no choice but to follow in my footsteps?

They’re basically one of those old anti-drug PSAs. I learned it from watching you!

I mean, it’s not like Lorelai badgered and pressured Rory into staying with Dean when her attention drifted to Jess and constantly argued for his innate superiority over and over and over.....oh wait, she totally did that. It’s not like Lorelai failed to sit Rory down at some point and explain that the reason their hearts got broken over Christopher not breaking up with his girlfriend is because sometimes when you sleep with other people’s boyfriends, they opt not to choose you in the end. Oh, wait, she didn’t do that, either, because he was her Christopher and they’ve always been connected. So she’s completely entitled to not take any responsibility for that situation and try to vandalize the other woman’s bathroom at her baby shower because she was jealous.

So, let’s just say I kind of understand why Rory gives Lorelai the cold shoulder here. Who is she to lecture, given her track record? And we know it’s only going to get worse.

Before we move on from this, though...

RORY: He was my boyfriend first! LORELAI: But you dumped him! You rejected him! You picked someone else!

Okay, technically it was Dean that dumped her (apparently I am the only one who remembers this) but as much as Rory pretends that Dean was the perfect boyfriend, both of them are significantly overidealizing the halcyon days of their early relationship. They were together for three months, and only reconcile when Rory is badgered into saying that she loves him: then it’s a few more months until Jess shows up and Rory loses almost all interest in Dean whatsoever. So the perfect love that they claim to want to relive never really existed.

Okay, let’s move on to how Dean actually treats his wife he claims to Rory he was completely in the process of breaking up with prior to him boinking his ex.

Upon learning that Lindsay had committed the unpardonable sin of answering her husband’s phone:

DEAN: I mean, you know it's my phone, Lindsay. This isn't your phone. I mean, who was it? LINDSAY: I don't know. They hung up. DEAN: So you didn't take a message? LINDSAY: I told you -- they hung up. DEAN: So, great, uh, you're just answering my phone and not taking messages? That's great, Lindsay. LINDSAY: Dean, wh-- DEAN: Taylor calls on this phone, and Tom. I mean, this phone is for business, okay? That's why I have it! LINDSAY: Fine. DEAN: What if Tom called, and he had an extra shift for me tomorrow, huh? I mean he calls to tell me, and you answer, and he thinks maybe he doesn't have the right number, and he hangs up, and then I just lose out, which means we lose out. God, Lindsay, you know, you don't -- you don't get it, do you? I mean, you have absolutely no respect for me at all. That's just obvious. LINDSAY: I don't want to fight. We always fight. I won't answer your phone anymore. I was asleep. I didn't think. I'm sorry, okay?

Jeebus, she completely sounds like a battered wife here. What a prince Dean is, huh? And yeah, Dean completely doesn’t sound like someone who’s trying really hard to cover his tracks.

Let’s move on. Rory overhears Lindsay trying to prepare dinner in the hopes of smoothing things over with Dean, and she finally accepts that Dean has not left his wife and at this point likely has no intentions to. She writes a break-up letter for Lorelai to deliver to him.

LORELAI: It's a letter for you from Rory. DEAN: What happened? Where is she? LORELAI: Just take the letter. DEAN: She went to Europe, right? Miss Patty said she went to Europe. What happened? What's she doing there? Who is she with? LORELAI: Dean. DEAN: When's she getting back? LORELAI: Soon. Just take it. DEAN: Where is she? LORELAI: Europe. DEAN: With who? LORELAI: Her grandmother. Look, take it. DEAN: No. Why did she go? Whose idea was it? LORELAI: That doesn't matter. DEAN: It does.

Dean, are you still married? Then it’s none of your business who Rory is with. Fuck off, sir. You have no right to ask anything of her.

Lindsay finds the letter and finally gives Dean a small taste of what he deserves.

LINDSAY: I hate you, Dean! I hate everything! DEAN: Let's just talk. LINDSAY: I don't want to talk! I don't want you here! DEAN: I'm sorry, okay? LINDSAY: Sorry? DEAN: Yes, because it'll never happen again.

Sure sounds like a guy who really, really wants to leave his marriage and totally didn’t feed Rory a bunch of bullshit to get her to do what he wants.

Lindsay kicks Dean out and her mom and Lorelai have a blowout in the middle of the street while their kids stand by silently like the teenage girls that they still are.

MRS. LISTER: You! You should be ashamed of yourself -- what you did! LORELAI: Just wait. MRS. LISTER: What did she ever do to you, huh? How did she hurt you? Why are you doing this? LORELAI: Theresa, please. Calm down. MRS. LISTER: Calm down? My little girl has to come home and find your heinous letter in Dean's jacket. LORELAI: Listen, we're in the street -- MRS. LISTER: You little monster! LORELAI: Hey! Pull back, lady! MRS. LISTER: There aren't hundreds of other boys in the world? You have to go after her husband? LORELAI: Okay, stop attacking my daughter right now. You're upset, I get it, but you do not do this. MRS. LISTER: She slept with my son-in-law. She broke up a marriage. Are you proud? LORELAI: She did not break up a marriage. MRS. LISTER: What do you know of this? LORELAI: Enough. I know Rory. MRS. LISTER: All I know is that now my Lindsay is devastated, Dean is back with his parents, lives are destroyed, and you and your daughter can go to hell!

Okay, first of all, this was a predictable end result when two teenagers who don’t know each other that well decide to get married at the age of eighteen. Why did their parents, especially Lindsay’s mother encourage this? And what the fuck is up with blaming Rory for the situation completely? No, she shouldn’t have done it, but Dean is the one who decided to marry Lindsay. He’s the one that decided to cheat. He’s the one that decided to lie to both of them. He is not an innocent bystander. 

Later on, Rory tries to comfort Dean over what has happened.

DEAN: No. It's not a stupid question. Um...let's see. How do I feel? Actually...I feel like an idiot. RORY: Why? DEAN: Why? Because I was married, …Rory. Married. And I threw it all away for someone who dumped me once and then just bailed on me. RORY: I didn't just bail. I -- DEAN: I hurt everybody. I hurt Lindsay, I hurt her parents, I hurt my parents, and now I'm back at home, and you're in Europe with your grandmother. And what the hell was I thinking? I mean, what am I doing? What's wrong with me?

I mean, the correct answer here is that everything is wrong with you, Dean, but....in the first place, Rory didn’t dump you, second of all, and she “bailed” because you lied and had no intention of leaving your wife in the first place. Take responsibility for your own actions, my man.

Rory and Dean eventually date for a month or so. Dean dumps her again because he realizes they have nothing in common. Does he take any steps towards moving on with his life and taking responsibility for his own mistakes? 

DEAN: Your situation is no different from mine. Buddy. LUKE: I've got work to do. DEAN: Then go. They want more than this. Don't you see that? And all you are is this. LUKE: Rory was a kid, Dean. She grew up. She moved on. Accept it. DEAN: You accept it. This town, it's all you are, and it's not enough. She's going to get bored, and you can't take her anywhere. You're here forever. LUKE: It's different. DEAN: It's not different. You and me. Same thing.

Bear in mind this episode takes place in April and Dean dumped Rory the previous November, and yet he’s still bitter, still projecting onto Luke, and still completely blaming Rory for all of his own decisions. He was the one who dumped her the first two times. He was the one that got into a fight with Jess on her behalf. He was the one who proposed to Lindsay to get her to forget about it. He was the one who got married despite his reservations. He was the one who lied to Rory so that she would have sex with him. He was the one who refused to leave his wife. And oh yeah....he was the one who dumped Rory a third time.

That’s the last we see of Dean for eleven years until he shows up in the revival and actually seems emotionally stable for a change.

Somehow Rory gets the brunt of the blame for all of this, but she wasn’t in this alone. I do think she was scared into this by Jess showing up, and if he had any sort of explanation or apology for her either of the times he showed up, she probably wouldn’t have been so vulnerable to the affirmation that Dean offered her. Then she could have had a disappointing first experience with Marty as an alternative.

Which still would have been an improvement over the horror of that Candyman song.

[acexspqade]

BSD SEASON 5 EP 11 SPOILERS!!!! Below the border

my rambling thoughts/grievances on a particular theory floating around about Fyodor and Nikolai and what happened in the last episode of S5

I see a lot of people theorizing that the yellow light that we see as Fyodor is “dying” is not the flames of the helicopter but actually Nikolai’s ability saving him from the wreckage. And while from a logistical perspective I have no issues with this theory; from a character perspective I find myself frustrated with it. 

It’s entirely possible that this was all a plan created by Fyodor and Nikolai in case of a situation like that, I personally feel like it completely undermines Fyodor’s character, specifically taking away his “fatal” flaw and leaving him as this invincible force and it also alters his dynamic with other characters in the series specifically Dazai and Nikolai.

My favorite Dazai and Fyodor conversation is their chess conversation they have while in the prison, because it finally establishes the fundamental difference between them. Dazai uses the unpredictability of humanity to his advantage, allowing himself to trust in his allies and their abilities rather than trying to predict and control their every action, while Fyodor looks at the unpredictability of humanity and attempts to control it, refusing to trust anyone else’s judgment but his own.

Simply put– Dazai trusts people and Fyodor does not. From that conversation, we as the audience are given the “ideal conflict” between these characters. Who will come out on top because of their way of operating? 

Fyodor or Dazai?

And Dazai coming out on top in this particular ideal clash makes perfect sense, given its an ideal that he himself evolved to possess. From how he interacts with people in Fifteen to his current self, we see Dazai actually learn to trust people and their decision making rather than trying to bait them into making the decision. 

[I can go more in depth about this change in Dazai’s character later if it’s wanted; this post is supposed to be about Fyodor and this does not need to be a dissertation].   

Fyodor had allies and he had a very particular ally in Nikolai. Yet instead of embracing Nikolai and such a companionship, he reasoned that he couldn’t control him and thus never allowed himself to trust Nikolai. There’s two instances where Nikolai’s allyship could have saved him both at the beginning of the prison break where we see a very visual representation of Dazai choosing to trust people in picking Sigma as his aid, while Fyodor chooses himself and his plan not once but twice with Nikolai giving him a second chance to change his mind and possibly even choose Nikolai as his aid.

We are all well aware that Nikolai wanted to kill Fyodor which was the entire purpose of the game Nikolai set up– but at the very least in choosing to trust Nikolai his chances of beating Dazai would have leaned in his favor. And at the helicopter, had Fyodor asked Nikolai to man it for him because of his injury, that vampire that he thought he had total control over would’ve never been able to impale him.  Nikolai’s want to kill Fyodor is a very valid reason for Fyodor not to trust Nikolai but his chances once again significantly improve if he simply chose to trust his closest companion. But he doesn’t and that is something I find so intriguing about Fyodor as a character. 

Another issue I have with the theory is what it does to Nikolai’s character. We see him grieve Fyodor and have a vulnerable moment parallel to the moment we get in his fight with Atsushi where he cracks and reveals his true nature before fixing himself and saying what should be in line with the persona he displays. Nikolai fights with himself about if he truly wanted to kill Fyodor, flipping between yes and no a few times when Dazai asks “You wanted to kill him, didn’t you?”. It’s such a heartbreaking moment for Nikolai’s character as he experiences the reality of the “freedom” he wanted. He has killed the one person who he felt understood him. He has killed his “best friend”. In what should be a moment where he is finally able to experience true free will unaffected by human emotions and feelings, Nikolai is the most emotional we have ever seen him. 

In one moment we see the literal destruction of two very flawed ideals crashing and burning to the ground because they chose to run from humanity instead of embrace it. So if it was all an act on the part of Nikolai, it just would reset any potential character growth he could have from this moment. 

Also people have pointed out the moment where Dazai is calling at Fyodor’s fatal flaw, saying that it’ll come back to bite him like Fyodor’s comments about the bond of sokoku came back to bite him. While I do think Dazai’s words will come back to bite him, it won't be his comments about Fyodor’s fatal flaw, more than likely it’ll be his assurance that Fyodor is “no doubt” dead as I highly doubt that is the case. The “vampire cosplay” bit by Chuuya and Dazai displays such a deep level of trust between the two of them that I just can not see being replicated by Fyodor and Nikolai because Chuuya and Dazai’s bond is very particular to their characters. Fyodor and Nikolai doing something similar would just feel like a cheap gotcha moment than an actual display of true bond that we get no build up to. We are shown moments in which Nikolai cares for Fyodor but it’s never reciprocated and even Nikolai’s feelings are clouded by his want to escape from them. 

So while I feel for the Fyodor and Nikolai fans in these trying times, I really hope Asagiri doesn’t take the route that Nikolai actually helped Fyodor get out of the plane and save his life. 

This is just my own personal opinion however so if you feel differently and would like to explain why I’m happy to have that conversation.

a/n: this is actually my first real post on tumblr so expect more of my ramblings about bsd and other animes i know way to much about.

[tabithatwo]

HONEST QUESTION by why do u think no one (until shauna did at their fight) ever called jackie out on being oblivious to other people’s feelings? Like we all know jackie is never mean on-purpose nor does she ever want to cause any harm but there are times where she has no idea that she is indeed doing so.. or is somehow influencing that.. And its like why has no one else ever tried voicing this out to her? BC we can clearly see she would’ve done something to change her behavior if it was pointed out. I just dont get why no one tried to other than the fact that it was probably just pretty privilege or people just being too scared to say so

WELL okay this question really got me thinking lmao my answer is sort of twofold so walk with me here…I don’t fully think jackie IS oblivious to other peoples feelings and I don’t think people have any issues calling her out when she misreads tone. The people who do tend to snap at the others when they say stuff that annoys them—off the top of my head shauna (obviously lol), tai, nat, mari, and van—all do at jackie at some point.

I think in canon, with the group as a whole, jackie is actually very in tune with their emotions. She corrals them at the kegger and they genuinely react positively. I think she’s honestly extra in tune with people’s emotions, perhaps partly because has to work a little harder at things. I think that’s why she’s captain.

When I say “off” in my original post, I mean that I think people can sense the way that someone picks up on and addresses behavior (aka loading time/processing/trying to problem solve when that isn’t what’s desired/etc) more than I mean that jackie is saying shit that upsets people regularly. I think that, other than shauna, jackie doesn’t upset them much more than anyone else until later in the season when things get bleaker.

Once they’re in the woods, jackie has lost her entire social script. It’s funny to me how people say she was the enforcer of society, because really I think society has kicked her ass and she’s simply learned how to exist within it and doesn’t know how to adapt to change. This isn’t the setting she’s used to, she doesn’t know how the people she’s learned and adapted to will react to these things, because who the fuck does?? It’s now unpredictable and she’s just really lost in a compounding way. We see her actually cheer people up again when things fall back into a script that she has access to—the seance, doing mistys makeup for her, etc.

As far as shauna goes, she has NO problem letting Jackie know when she’s upset with her lol. She just gives her no clue why. Shauna doesn’t communicate her feelings with anyone really and she certainly doesn’t delve into big picture things. (There’s a tai shauna tangent here that I’ll go on one day but besides that relationship, shauna is really just closed off and expects people, especially jackie, to read her mind.) Shauna snaps or gives the cold shoulder and Jackie adjusts and readjusts, until she’s fixed it the best she can.

I think that shauna’s reaction to being called out for cheating with jeff is something that greatly colors a lot of peoples’ views on jackie, when really it says a whole fucking lot more about shauna herself. Shauna is a horribly fucking unreliable narrator. We see her get confused and forget what her own lies are when she’s fessing up to callie about adam. She was writing her own narratives and letting resentment build even before the crash. So to me, taking what shauna says during that fight at face value, over what we actually see of jackie and their relationship, is a mistake. Shauna’s backed into a corner. She’s caught out. Little miss I’m with homeland security, first panic instinct is to lie is going to make shit up. She was trying to hurt jackie. That was the goal. For a myriad of reasons—I love shauna shipman don’t get it twisted lol. (And we see jackie realize shauna is tying to hurt her. Jackie tries to hurt back for a bit and she sucks at it lol and then she slips back into shocked hurt.)

So anyway, yeah. I think shauna clearly felt overshadowed, but she just does. In general. All the time. We got to see that in 2x09 when she spells it out for us in her journal lol. So using this scene to read jackie as someone who actually does the things shauna is accusing her of feels like a big jump to me.

Shaunas feelings were real. But I don’t fucking think shauna hated soccer. I don’t think jackie ever actually pushed her into her shadow, unintentionally or not. I think that jackie couldn’t navigate shauna’s emotions in any way other than placating when she could and trying to cling to her, because she was constantly terrified that shauna would leave her. Why did jackie expect shauna to go to rutgers? Probably because that’d been their entire fucking plan and jackie had no way of knowing that shauna didn’t want that anymore. I’m gonna talk more about their fight one day when it isn’t a tangent on a different topic lol, but basically I think reading what shauna says in the fight as truth is a common and inaccurate take.

To the last point, I think prettiness definitely impacts a person’s life on like every scale and makes people overlook things they might not normally, but I don’t necessarily feel like jackie got off with no feedback basically. And I don’t think she was actually that hurtful. I’ve talked about the nat situation here and how it’s unique, but that isn’t jackie being oblivious, that’s jackie trying to get an outcome. She is clearly oblivious sometimes (when she tries to give a pep talk post insane leg breaking lol, when she tells travis about who nat has hooked up with, when she is pragmatic about things like rationing food) but really she rarely says overtly hurtful shit, even on accident. She does less so than the other girls.

So I think it all comes back to that thing that a lot of viewers do—view jackie as fake. The fact that she doesn’t really give any evidence of meanness sort of was my point. Even when there is nothing bad said, general social awkwardness can be taken as an indication of insincerity. I think this is sometimes especially true when someone is overall decent at masking, at least enough that they’re superficially seen as well liked. Because then people see a hiccup (which is really an adjustment to new input) and take it as an intentional behavioral change.

(Grain of salt, I am someone who had a keen fucking interest in being as pretty as possible at her age lol, to the degree that when I was asked how I got so good at “beauty stuff” I said “well, you can be weird if you’re hot enough!” Until I learned that was actually NOT the answer people were looking for of course lmao so I am close to the subject of performative attractiveness to skate by and I also know that it only tends to cover more superficial likability—aka homecoming queen, but you’re only got like 1-2 close friends and your teammates have no issue giving you bizarre looks when you miss the mark lol)

Thanks for the ask, clearly it got me thinking. Like a lot. Many tangents and I’m not even sure how well I addressed the questions lol but I don’t feel like going back and making it more focused so this is the ramble we get!! <3

[sorcerous-caress]

Do u think other BG3 companions could have a human kink? Lae’zel Astarion Karlach etc. Would Shadowheart have one or be treated more as a human as a half-elf??

For Shadowheart, depends on who you ask. I think the elves would reject her as part of them and because she lacks a lot of their traits. Like there is a certain criteria you need to cross off to be considered a full elf to them.

For the humans, I think they'd fully embrace her as a human. There isn't a criteria on how to be a human nor a requirement list. We ourselves always burst out of the box of expectations we set for our own kind. Humans are unpredictable and versatile.

But I don't think Shadowheart would like either. No matter how much the humans are welcoming and are quick to label her as one of them, she still doesn't feel like she fits in, like there are extra parts of her that all other humans clearly don't have. There are certain intense feelings exclusive to elves that humans can't relate to.

She can't fit with the elves either because she is so clearly human. The human part always shines through the stubborn hope, the ego and pride, the endless potential, and impatience. She is simply too much for the elves who never bothered to even make a space for her out of fear she might disturb their youngs with her unnatural growth.

That's why half-elves seek human colonies to live in, humans are the only one willing to look past everything and accept them. Humans' colonies are known for taking any "strays" unwelcomed by their own colony, be it half-human or fully something else. Sure, there are racists everywhere, but I like to think that most humans have tolerance and keep an open mind.

She is still a half-elf, tho, not a human, not an elf. And she will hate being mistaken as either of these things. Shadowheart seems to take pride in her heritage, and so does Jaheira! Saying how it doesn't matter which one of her parents was the elf, what matters is that they were two people in love.

Half-elves aren't always born stable. Sometimes, the genetics mix in conflicting ways, and they end up with mental issues or the inability to reproduce. Shadowheart is lucky in the sense that she is fully functional and healthy.

I actually headcanon that the reason the other kids in Shar temple picked up on her was because she is a half-elf. Long ago, I wrote a piece about companions opening up about struggles for their own race but never shared it.

Here is the part I wrote for Shadowheart about her being a half elf.

Shadowheart

"Was it a struggle growing up as a half-elf?"

"Maybe. I didn't pay it much attention." Her reply came quickly. She seemed unphased by your sudden question as if it's something she's been asked a hundred times before.

"Did no one bring it up? Back at Shar's temple."

"Oh, they did a lot." Her eyes meet yours, the defiant fire of humanity in them, the pride of fey in the lift of her chin. "Until they couldn't utter a single word, what an easy solution it was."

The scar in the middle of her face stands out to you more than ever now. It only took a single scar.

"Like i said." She continued, "I didn't pay it much attention. Mother superior claimed that my heritage should bring me closer to Lady Shar. All children of the night are outcasts."

"Did it?"

"I tried to, but no, not really. I've always felt whole, despite what others claimed. I never felt the need to fit into either culture." Despite her hairstyle, she never once covered her short pointy ears, "what, disappointed that my experience isn't what you were looking for?"

A half smile stretched a bit too thin as she met your gaze again.

"Not at all," you replied.

Sorry for making this just about Shadowheart, I have been dying to talk about her being a half-elf and how it fits in the human kink universe. If you wanna then resent the Lae'zel and other bg3 companions ask separately again and I will answer it then!

[veilchenjaeger]

Okay. After over a goddamn year, I have finally finished Couple of Mirrors. Consider me wrecked.

I don't even know where to start with this show? It's everything I've ever wanted, save for the censorship issue. (But I think I can read the manhua to soothe that particular ache.) It's so damn good. I watched this with month-long breaks between episodes, so I don't remember everything, but I still want to try to write up my initial thoughts bc it's fun to reread that kind of thing after a rewatch or some time of brainrot.

First, without getting into spoilers: I adore this show. The plot is incredible - dense without being overwhelming, unpredictable without nonsensical plot twists. Nearly every episode had me on the edge of my metaphorical seat. At the same time, the characters were given time to shine and develop. Especially Xu Youyi is just one of the characters of all time, I'm obsessed with her, but I definitely got attached to side characters as well. (Which is dangerous, considering the body count this show has.) I really appreciate the pacing, the little moments of downtime between the imo impeccably paced rush of revelations and developments. There are some things that could be seen as... soap opera-esque, in a way? Just because of the amount of family drama, but I think it all worked really well bc the show immediately tells you what kind of show it is and what the stakes are. None of the drama is out of place, is what I'm saying. There's a lot of murder.

There are complaints about Xu Youyi and Yan Wei not having a lot of screentime together, and while this is in some way true, I... didn't mind? They're both set up well enough as individual characters for their interactions to be meaninful, and it was more than enough for me to get invested in them. (Not to mention that there's a whole episode of domestic Yiwei in the end.) But mostly, and I think I've said this before somewhere, I came for the lesbians and stayed for the plot. Xu Youyi's story is about so many things, and it's important that each of these things was given the space it deserves. This is a murder mystery/thriller first and a romance second, and I honestly prefer it that way. The pacing felt right, and the central relationship still came across well.

Final non-spoilery verdict: PLEASE watch this show if you haven't seen it yet. It's so, so, so good. You can watch the whole thing on Youtube for free, and the subtitles are actually decent.

Spoilers under the cut.

There are approximately fifty separate things I'm obsessed with, but I'll only name a few.

First of all, the whole Thing between Zhou Heng and Xu Youyi, and especially Zhou Heng's character. Holy shit, this is well done. Zhou Heng is never portrayed as the good guy, but the sheer extent of his unhingedness is revealed so gradually that you're pretty much bound to underestimate him. He starts out as a bad husband who cheats on Xu Youyi, but for what it's worth, it seems like he does love her and wants to try to be better for the first episodes. He defends her from his family, he supports her, and while Xu Youyi is right not to let him get away with that after he broke her heart like that, he's sympathetic. He's not a cartoon villain or a cardboard cutout of an evil abusive husband. And he still isn't that when it's revealed that he fucking tried to kill her. That caught me off guard so hard! I didn't expect that at all, and then it just fucking kept going. It's in episode 10, during the dinner he has with Xu Youyi, that I realised that he's not only an utter dickhead, he's batshit insane. And it's the very fact that he was built up as a sympathetic character that makes this reveal as creepy as it is. Gods, what an asshole! Gives me chills of the worst kind! A superbly done antagonist.

(The same is true for Zhang Wan, too. She's a lot more obviously mean, but the extent of that isn't revealed all at once, and the relationship she had with Xu Youyi before is still meaningful. Zhou Heng's father, too - he acts according to his motivations, and whether he's with Xu Youyi or against her depends on the way she fits into his plans. Just, good antagonists all around.)

Second of all, I adore the characters so, so much?! Xu Youyi's development, her sunny personality, her heartbreak, and the way she gets more and more tired of being nice, are so [chef's kiss]. Detective Jiang was right, actually - she is someone who'd happily live with a murderer. She's so genuinely kind, she doesn't mean harm, but after everything she's been put through, she's ruthless deep down. I love how cold and collected she is when she demands the divorce, when she signs the papers, when she's in court, and especially when she finds out that Yan Wei is indeed the murderer of Zhang Wan and doesn't even hesitate to lie to the police to help her. Xu Youyi has had it and she will not be taking any prisoners.

It took me a little longer to get fully attached to Yan Wei, simply because she's not the main character, but the last episode really sealed the deal for me. She's grown so much because of Xu Youyi! She's started to live a life that isn't ruled by her past, she's capable of joking with Xu Youyi and she's a good mother and she's happy, which she didn't know how to be before! She even gets along with other people; she's on good terms with Mr Wang and has a bit of a teasing relationship going on with Detective Jiang. (Big fan of that, btw. I think they should be bros.) And yet, she's also presumably doing some very shady stuff to get money, and we haven't seen her find actual closure yet. I get why the last few minutes aren't the most popular ones - they're a bit of a shock, for one, and the pacing of the show fails here, although I assume that's all a set up for the next season - but they make sense. Again, Detective Jiang is right! Xu Youyi doesn't know anything about Yan Wei's past, and it's a past that's pretty important for who Yan Wei is! That's the one thing I was worried about throughout the show: that Yan Wei's past would just stay unaddressed, and that Xu Youyi wouldn't find out. So, yeah, I do like that they made that into a (future?) plot point. It's such a strong beat for Yan Wei's arc, I really hope we do get that second season and get to find out what she's been doing behind Xu Youyi's back and what those flowers mean. Yan Wei deserves some more development!

(That being said, I still think that season finale cliffhangers are bad writing and shouldn't be done, especially with the state of queer entertainment in China being what it currently is. Looking at you, Scum Villain season 2.)

And last but not least, I'll be listening to the opening song on repeat for the next lifetime, thanks.

[thelostgirl21]

Men are the reason I realized I'd just been raped in the first place.

All my women friends, when I'd described the "bad sexual experience I'd had" were, just like me, attempting to rationalize it.

They were trying to say things like "well, maybe he really likes porn, and thought that's how women genuinely like sex", "he might have believed your tastes were similar", "maybe in his country, women are..."

For context:

Rape trigger warning:

It was a man that I was working with and who had spent 6 months becoming a dear trusted friend and confident of mine, only to suddenly "shift gears" in bed, start becoming really aggressive and demeaning, etc.

And so, I got so utterly confused and paniqued, because each time I told him to slow down, he'd go "Oh! I know how you like it rough!", ignore me, and it just got worse and more painful. Your mind is struggling to understand what's going on, because you do love and trust him, and you did genuinely want to have sex with him before it started.

And suddenly, he becomes a completely different person you don't recognize, which makes him 100% unpredictable.

If you start actually asking him to stop, will he hit you? Kill you?

The survival instincts kick in, and you more or less decide to be as "docile" and "loving" as you possibly can, and to "keep him pleased and satisfied" with you, in the hopes of pacifying him.

I never once said "no", attempted to insist he stopped, or tried pushing him away. The moment I realised I had a complete stranger in bed, I did all I could to avoid setting him off.

End trigger warning.

But my friend - a boy I'd known and been really close to since I was 15 (I was 21 when it happened) - looked me in the eyes and said:

"You were raped. Listen to me very carefully: you were raped. I'm a man, and I can guarantee you that there is no way in Hell that asshole didn't sense or notice your discomfort! The way you are attempting to justify what happened right now is typical rape victim behavior, and there is absolutely zero doubt in my mind that this guy raped you. You are the closest thing I have to a sister, and if he was in front of me right now, I'd fucking kill him! "

I will forever be grateful to him for how immediate and deep his anger over what had happened to me was, how much hatred he had for the other guy, and the profound conviction of his words, because they hit me like a ton of bricks and seemingly gave me no other choice than to believe him!

Thanks to his intervention, I was able to stop feeling responsible for what had happened to me, shift the blame where it truly belonged, allow myself to get angry, and start healing.

As long as women (and non-binary folks) have been so conditioned to believe that we carry the responsibility for the violence that men do to us (i.e. that we are causing it to happen), and struggle with being able to recognize it when it happens, we need men standing firm against it and calling bullshit on members of their own gender attempting to normalize it.

Men are also victims of the patriarchy, some of them are fully aware of it, and many of them are strong, vocal advocates for tearing it all down and letting people be who they are, love who and what they love, etc.

In an ideal world, women and non-binary individuals should be able to talk for themselves, and have men listen and empathize with them when they do.

But the reality is that some men will only listen to other men. So, the more men actively reject patriarchy, embrace feminism, and get loud about its message in male dominated spaces, the more likely we are to change society.

Queer men always 100% belong in LGBTQ+ and queer spaces, it shouldn't even be an issue!

But I'm a panromantic demisexual pansexual genderless woman in a relationship with a cisgender straight guy.

If I go to Pride, or any other global LGBTQ+ gatherings where gay men and lesbian women are allowed to celebrate with their own partners, you better believe that I'm going to be there to celebrate with my own partner as well!

Our relationship is queer! Our love is queer! Just because one of us isn't queer doesn't mean that we aren't a very queer couple celebrating queer love together!

Those men who fiercely love us, respect us, support us, listen to us, witness our struggles, and share their lives with us are being immersed in our queer universe, and have chosen to embrace it alongside us!

Denying their contribution to our lives and our communities, and rejecting their love and support, is not the way for us to grow stronger and stop men violence against members of the LGBTQ+.

Monosexuals actively seeking to penalize bisexuals, pansexuals, omnisexuals, and polysexuals, because they fell in love with someone of a different gender than themselves, can suck and choke on it!

And if you go "it's fine if they are both bisexual, but a pansexual with a cisgender straight guy should leave the cis straight dude at home", screw you!

I shouldn't be punished and stripped of the right to celebrate love with the one I love because of "how queer or not" my partner is!

And if patriarchy is the only home some men have ever had and known, and we tell them "feminism doesn't want you! Stay away from us!", the only thing left for them to do is to cling to patriarchy with all their might to fucking survive, because it's the only space that remotely pretends to care about them!

We are keeping them trapped into a violent, toxic global "family system" that brainwashes them, and teaches them that everything outside of that family is a threat!

Then we go "You are inherently bad based on your gender alone, and no one loves nor wants you!", confirming that patriarchy is 100% right! It's the only system that will ever give them a right to exist and feel safe!

You are actively reinforcing and strengthening patriarchy by giving it the single most powerful tool it needs to keep growing and thriving: pushing men into a corner by yelling at them that they have no other options.

My queers, we really need to put the "no men" thing away. Men are not inherently bad. There are queer men. There are questioning men. There's men that are just plain cool. Denying these men a space at our table is not helping - except the TERFs. I just came off the back of reading a transphobe gleeful rant about the need to have pride without men - They of course mean me. This kind of stuff is damaging to me and I really need us all to take a step back and maybe kill this "men dni, men not allowed" stuff. What you mean is "no men who are going to do mean stuff to me." And frankly those men won't give a shit about that kind of boundary.

But I promise you there's a fleet of good honest men who will see that and be sad they're not allowed in your version of queer spaces.

PATRIARCHY is what you hate. Dni Patriarchs.

[area51-escapee]

What I think I find most disgusting about 'menstruation as a signal of motherhood' is the fact that largely, we don't even think that way about animals.

Greedy/shitty people and shitty backyard breeders aside, we actually take more care to ensure that animals aren't bred before they're physically sound to be than we do people. Its even considered neglect and in some locations outright abuse to breed an animal before its 'feasibly sound to bear and birth' young.

My neighbour actually had her French bulldog taken away from her because it seasoned young and she had it bred straight away. It was far, far too small and young to bear puppies without serious risk and complication and her vet clinic reported her for neglect and puppy-farming.

YEAH???? And like. It doesn’t make any sense to me how somebody can genuinely believe that that’s all it takes to safely carry a pregnancy to term. You don’t have to go to medical school or have a degree to know this, I’m sure as shit not a genius, I’ve just listened to people’s experiences with being pregnant and giving birth. The human body is fucking weird, things happen all the time, just because you’re born with one set of organs doesn’t mean you’re good to go and won’t have any problems. There’s all kinds of complications that can occur, there are people capable of getting pregnant who will never be able to carry a pregnancy to term, there are people who can get pregnant but giving birth could cause significant damage to their physical or mental health, or outright cost them their lives. I find it absolutely insane when people try to say that having a period or having a uterus means you were meant to get pregnant, meant to give birth, as if that means fucking anything when the human body is simply unpredictable, and even if somebody is capable of doing so without issue, they should never have to unless it’s their decision. I try very, very hard to understand where other people are coming from, especially when I disagree with them, not because it will change my mind but just because I want to understand their point of view better, but this feels nearly impossible to me because I can’t understand how people would believe this when there is so much factual evidence that proves otherwise.

[electricbluebutterflies]

Jess/Leto + freezing even though it's not winter anymore

Roughly on the line between Choice- and mid-era, PG-ish, also on ao3.

There are days, once in a while, when Jessica wonders if her existence was as perfectly planned as she was once told it was.

Early spring, for instance, on this planet that is starting to feel like home. A month between the two storm seasons, warm enough that she can go outside and not fear for any bit of exposed skin, but… not much more than that. Her body runs cold, and she thinks sometimes that she must’ve been bred for a desert planet but then someone else’s plans changed last-minute and now here she is and-

“It truly amazes me that you can move in so many layers.”

Her partner means well, she knows. At worst a fascination with her behavior and how she has adapted in these years, never any harm meant but still-

“There are some advantages to my femininity,” she replies, not even giving him the pleasure of eye contact. “Like not losing an appendage to frostbite.”

“Didn’t you once tell me that your home planet was even colder?”

She did, she supposes, in the way that little details drift out over a number of years. Which in turn ought to have been enough time for her to acclimate, but-

“Dry cold,” she murmurs. “Different.” Like crawling under a rock, she thinks but won’t say because that’s the kind of bitterness that causes more questions she doesn’t want to answer, but-

“Still…”

“I adapt,” she says, and that ought to be the end of it, and it never is, and-

“All this and you won’t even set foot outside.”

Her partner has a great number of appealing traits, Jessica reminds herself, but perceptiveness has never been one of them. Gave her unexpected freedom in the early years, gave her the opportunity to find her way and oh at least he knows he runs oblivious, but-

Perhaps this is even more innocent, she reminds herself. Their mornings are so rare, and often by the time they find their way to each other in the quiet of night she’s shed most of those layers, and… it is entirely possible that her partner simply does not know some of the small things she does, and she can’t ever fault that, and-

“I can’t be so sure where the day will take me.”

She is not, let her defend herself, up to anything at the moment. There are none of her schemes or projects, no long-term plans in play beyond the cultivation of their son and really there isn’t much one can actually do with a four-year-old, not within these boundaries, not trying to move slower than her own training went and-

Her unpredictable nature means that in a few hours all of that could be different, but for now she is peaceful. For now…

They are, at least, long past the point where her partner would make some comment about how she could have nicer things if she wanted them. She knows, and she has adapted accordingly, and her routines this time of year are still what they are and-

“How do you still surprise me?”

Jessica laughs despite herself. There’s something very warm about these moments, and… she will always carry hidden complexities, they both know this, but not for any reason beyond comprehension issues. Effort only goes so far no matter the purity of intent, and-

“Something this small is enough to do that?”

“Something this small that I’d managed not to know despite-“

She’s half tempted to make a comment about how paying more attention to her would solve that problem easily enough, but it’s too early for a fight and again the intent, again-

“I’m comfortable,” she says like that’s the only thing that matters, and for the moment it is. Still that voice in her mind that wants to be appealing to her partner, but… quieter now, she’s noticed. More accepting of the fact that she hasn’t actually had to try in years. More…

“You do have your priorities.”

“You haven’t actually said anything disapproving, so-“

Not that she’d listen if he did, she’s tempted to add, the addition of a few underskirts to her daytime attire will not get in the way of intimacies that tend to happen at a different point in the daily cycle anyways and-

“Nor did I mean to. If something-“

She crosses the space and takes a heartbeat of a kiss, best thing she can think of to silence both of them. She does not want a fight, she repeats in her mind, she does not have any desire to escalate this situation, it is too early and nothing has actually been done and-

“Let it go,” she murmurs against her partner’s skin. “I know your worry often makes sense, but not… not about this, love.”

“Slightest confusion, not-“

“They sound the same in your voice. And it’s too early and you don’t need the distraction of me and-“

Her voice breaks before she can say something fully self-deprecating, and she backs away before he can try to calm her. There is time but there is not time, and she is not quite ready to face the outside world, and she pulls on her outer dress and gives her partner a sharp look like see-this-is-how-you-had-no-idea-what-I-do and-

“How much else do I not know about you?” he asks, a softer comment than it would’ve been five years ago but still-

“Would you spend the rest of your life listening to me?”

“Isn’t that what we mean to do anyways?”

Another temporary approach, another kiss, eyes closed because she cannot be conflicted by the way he looks at her. “Not like that, love. Not… not like that.”

She slips away again, this time out and down the hallway, dealing with her hair as she moves. Too early for such compromise, and if the trade-off is that her spiral bun looks a little less than perfect until she sees a mirror…

So much she keeps hidden, most of all her doubts. How much matters anymore?

[chaoticgeminate]

Party Time

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x Fem!Reader [Reader is early 20s, only set description of her] Rating: G Word Count: 1.8k Notes: This is a birthday gift and I really hope you like how this came out! Happy Birthday, lovely!

Dieter Bravo was eccentric. One minute he could act out several Shakespearean plays like the most well trained stage performers but if you blinked he could be wrapping hotel bedsheets around his body like a toga and declaring himself the “Kitkat Emperor” like some sort of man child. His eccentricity was what you liked the most about him, unpredictable and unwilling to conform to this level that most celebrities seemed to sit at when they reached the career points he had.

When you had gotten the job to help run wires and monitor the equipment on the set of Tides of Chance you hadn’t ever expected to meet the stars, not only had all of the rest of the crew told you it would be unlikely because only the most senior staff would be in the room during filming but that was just an insane idea. It was the setting of some… dime store romance novel and life didn’t work that way.

Except it did, apparently, since on the first day of filming one of the mats meant to protect the wires from being tripped over or rolled around had come loose. Your direct supervisor had fired the girl responsible for it since one of the girls in lighting had tripped clean over the mat and shattered several stand lights in the process, you’d been tasked to not only clean up but to fix the mistake being the low woman on the totem pole as everyone cleared out to do a table read instead.

“Careful, cleaning up, make sure you don’t cut yourself.” Dieter had stopped on his way off set, clad in the linen pants and loose Hawaiian shirt with its garish yellow and teal printed flowers, and had even gone as far as catching your wrist to make sure you heard him. If he noticed the way you couldn’t quite hold his gaze, shy under the weight of those brown eyes of his, the actor didn’t say anything.

“R-right, thank you Dieter.” He left the room with a low laugh directed at Giles as the set manager called his name in warning and you’d set about cleaning up and re-running the cables with Sabrina from lighting. The woman leveled you with an odd look that you opted not to read into as you started sweeping while she worked on getting the shattered bulbs out of the stand lights.

The second time you encountered Dieter was at the vending machine nearly a week later and you were in desperate need of food, spending most of the day running around the massive outdoor area being blocked off for filming so you could check on wires and ensure that lighting had no power issues, and you hadn’t even been paying attention as you grabbed your bottle of water and oatmeal bar from the machine.

“Those oatmeal bars are not as healthy as they say.” You jumped and nearly fumbled your water, turning to face him, and hated the way he looked stupid handsome as he peered at you over the top of his RayBans.

“It’s food, I’m desperate.” You tore the wrapper and took an aggressive bite out of the sticky bar, meeting his gaze almost defiantly, and Dieter’s reply was to chuckle and reach into the tote bag over his shoulder before he waved a wrapped sandwich from the catering table almost playfully.

“I’ll split half of this with you, it’s carved turkey and vegan cheese on whole grain bread and has actual vegetables.” You stared back at him and your brain practically fumbled over what he’d just said, your mouth moving way too fast to put up the word filter.

“You’re vegan? But you- never mind. It was rude, you don’t deserve that, sorry.” Dieter paused mid motion, staring at you like you’d grown a second head, and when you held your hand out the actor chuckled and took it before dragging you over to one of the low rocks and pulling it out of the wrapper. You took half and he grinned playfully as he took a large and aggressive bite out of his.

“You’re different, most people love throwing my addiction at me.” You stared at him, taking in the gray mixing into his beard and the way Dieter held himself almost… defensively. Like he was waiting for you to lash out at him instead of being the dramatic celebrity that he was technically known as.

“You went to rehab, you admitted your problems and decided to do better, and you seem to be in a better place now. Takes a special kind of asshole to belittle the work you’ve put into yourself.” You stared ahead as you spoke, eyes unfocused on the scene before you, it wasn’t like you had any personal experiences or anyone close to you that had gone through anything similar but you were human and even if you were young it wasn’t like you were blind or oblivious.

“Apparently there are more of them in the world than I thought, but… I do wish there were more people like you.” That made you look at him, the expression on his face was soft and borderline affectionate, and you shrugged slightly when those insecurities began creeping in. You were young, young enough that being seen with him in any capacity would be rumors of scandals, and working as crew for the film? You knew the ugly headlines that could, and would, be born of even a friendship.

As if sensing the mood Dieter looked away to eat again and you decided to change the topic, asking about his thoughts on the film and his character, which lightened the way he sat as the actor very loudly began mentioning what changes he would make to some of the scenes he had already shot.

It wasn’t you intention but Dieter had slowly wormed his way into being your friend, going as far as ditching cast dinners to come find you instead, and honestly he just made it fun to be on set and at work since he had no issues consistently making up excuses to come find you when he wasn’t filming or he’d make faces at you when he was if you happened to be in the room or around the filming area. It wasn’t until it was days away that you’d even remembered your birthday, getting an e-card from your granny that you knew her caretaker Sophie had helped write, and a bit of a disappointed feeling burned in your chest.

This would be the first birthday that you weren’t home celebrating with your best friends, or even just your family, so you just decided not to even bother with any kind of a cake. Maybe it was just because of the distance but it certainly didn’t feel the same, you were friendly at best with the crew but not friends, and you knew it was a little on the childish side but the fact that nobody had even brought it up stung since you’d always gone out of your way to at least ask if they wanted a small gift days before.

When midnight struck and you were left sighing, staring at the hotel room ceiling, your phone chimed softly with your personal alarm before a series of texts came in from four of your closest friends as well as a request for a video call. You grinned as you answered, the light low, and while it didn’t feel the same it felt better than it had.

You were hard at work when Dieter found you just shy of noon, lugging a heavy bundle of cables from one set to be put away, and his rather casual slacks paired with a soft purple button down seemed out of place for filming today.

“Dieter-“

“Tom told me to send you to Shelly, in wardrobe, dunno why. The lights in the dressing rooms were a little funky but I guess it was giving someone a headache.” He wiggled his eyebrows and you couldn’t help your grin.

“The fact that Leila expected that excuse to work still surprises me, but okay I’ll go once this is away.” Dieter nodded and hurried away, leaving you wondering what in the world was going on, and after draping the cables on their assigned hook you noticed that the set was shockingly empty. It was almost worrying, really, and you wondered if shooting was happening somewhere else or if they’d changed it to a table read; though Dieter’s choice of clothing wouldn’t make much sense.

“Hello dear.” Shelly was an older woman and sweet, you quickly sorted out the lighting issue after finding a loose plug, and she stopped you with a smile asking a favor.

“You want me to what?” You stared at the dress, it was beautiful really with a black bodice and cold shoulder sleeves falling into a maxi-length skirt that was like a watercolor print of blues and purples and soft pinks.

“Wear this for the rest of the day? We have a crew meeting and I want to launch my own line, you can be my live model. Please?” The text from Tom confirming the meeting Shelly brought up made you exhale and you relented, not at all surprised when the woman let you pick your shoes from the wardrobe closet as she fixed the dress to be more tailored in appearance, and Danielle from hair and make-up peeked in and agreed to style you up since there was time before the last meeting of the day.

You felt great when you were finished, the unexpected pampering was nice, and while you were suspicious about the circumstances you had no reason to believe anyone was doing this for you. Nobody else had anything like this done for their birthdays, or if they had you weren’t invited, and so when you entered the large conference room and found it full of people and decor and a giant cake in the center of the room it made you stare open-mouthed around the space.

“Happy Birthday, you look amazing, I knew that was the right dress to commission for you.” Dieter swooped you up into a hug and you sputtered in surprise at the reveal.

“You put this together? You- you commissioned me a dress?”

“Yep! Surprise!”

“W-why… why would you-“

“You were sad and nobody should be sad on their birthday. Besides, we’re friends, I wasn’t going to let you think I forgot.” He tugged you toward the cake and squeezed your hand firmly, jewel bright eyes twinkling under the fairy lights that had been set up, and you couldn’t help the way your eyes watered or the fluttering in your chest as you tugged and pulled him down to kiss him on the cheek.

“Thank you, Dieter. Really.”

“Anytime, now come on you have a cake to cut.”

You had been more than happy with your party, everyone cheerful and asking you about what you’d liked most on set so far or what your plans were after this film was done, but nothing made you happier when Dieter tugged you away to give you one last gift in the form of a pretty rose gold bracelet and a icing sweet kiss that you could still taste on your tongue even after the cake was long gone.

Just Pedro Taglist: @maievdenoir @beecastle @littlemisspascal @writeforfandoms

All Fics Taglist: @hardc0rehaylz @wordsnwhiskey @pagannightwitch @radiowallet @musings-of-a-rose

[juhbebbie]

We are so back

Obsessed with this. You fuckin tell em babe. Also how did the guy not hear several fucking gun shots going off right outside the bathroom door lmfao

Ok serious for a moment. Aside from this panel being absolutely gorgeous, I love the theme of how Marc is constantly fighting tooth and nail to not be the person he fears he is. But he still uses that person as a weapon if he doesn't have any other choice. Ohhh the inherent corruption that takes place in the work he is doing to try to atone. I could go on but I won't

This is actually so cute their bickering<3 "unpredictable mercenary wild cards" suuuure whatever you say guys<33333 also frenchie looks like he's about to fucking snap lmfao

I also love this callback to devil's reign

Holy fucking shit. Cappucio's art will never cease to make my jaw drop. One of my favorite things about it is how in panels like this the lines are blurred and there are no hard outlines. He's standing there like the statue of khonshu from the 80s run (which im sure is intentional), but he also is towering over Marko while he kneels at his feet. Something something religious symbolism you love to see it

Live frenchie reaction

"Mon frère de guerre" though i fuckin love it. That's the frenchie we know and love he's so tired of Marc's bs

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Moon Knight made a ficking eldritch horror

His levels of petty are through the roof. I gotta know though did this actually kill him or did Hydra get the mind control stuff? How did black spectre get his hands on the research?

UNINTELLIGIBLE SOBBING

But okay I think I put it in the tags of some post I rbed but now I can't find it, but I said something to the effect of "I'm scared that Layla is dead because why else would she show up in city of the dead" and yknow. God damn it.

I had assumed (or hoped) that he and Layla would have just grown apart so that he'd end up with Marlene eventually, but this hurts me man. I think it is a little teensy bit messy because why would he or Frenchie never mention her after her death, but trying to write her in so far after the fact was never going to be seamless. Is it a little forced? Perhaps but it was always gonna be. Do I care? Absolutely fkin not I love Layla

This is sweet sorry I called you a bitch 8 ball. I don't think I'd wanna see him as a midnight mission regular, but 8 ball and mk team ups are always delightful (for me. They are usually deeply harrowing for 8 ball)

Aaaaaand that's about it! Except for there is something I need to say about black spectre and who he is but I think it deserves its own post.

Overall really loved this issue a lot. I was initially super annoyed about Laylas death but it does make sense, and it's not like we aren't about to get more Layla content. And I adored seeing her as a mercenary and the subtle nod to her connections based on how she's shown in the Disney Plus show. It's nice they're including those parts of her character, and again I would read the shit out of a solo series of her doing her merc thing and later scarlet scarab thing, depending on the status quo that City of the Dead sets up. Either way, very excited! But if Layla isn't more of a central character throughout City of the Dead I am going to feel somewhat cheated. But maybe we did all get our hopes up a tad prematurely but I hope not!! I think she's a great opportunity to bring in more MCU fans to the comics, and she honestly has so much potential to be a very complex character who can stand on her own.

And then of course it was great to see Frenchie, I would love to see those two reconcile at some point in the future but also if it doesn't happen that would make sense tbh. The crew mk has now is wonderful and a well overdue revamp that meets the character where he's at now and Frenchie just straight up doesn't fit into the status quo at this point. Also let the man rest lol

Be ready for a panel by panel analysis of moon knight #25 okay. Don't worry I'll put it in one post so I'm not a complete fucking nuisance

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating George of the Jungle

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- Ever since you were a child, you’d dreamed of visiting the jungle. You’d spent countless hours imagining all the different things you’d discover, the sights you’d see, the sounds you’d hear, even the different smells you’d come across. 

- It was a place that represented the unpredictable. A place that held countless adventures and hid some of the most wonderful and amazing things known to man. 

- It was a place you’d promised yourself you’d visit someday …which is how you ended up here …staring down the barrel of a gun....

- It wasn’t an actual gun of course …though it might as well have been. What difference was there between a loaded pistol and a hungry lion? How long it would take to die, you guessed. 

- But; just as the thought crossed your mind, you found yourself; and the lion, watching as a blurry figure swung quickly between the two of you; gliding through the air with grace …right before crashing directly into a tree. 

- Thankfully, it didn’t take long for the person to recover and you wound up cowering against a rock as he fought with the bloodthirsty beast before you; looking like a modern day Hercules dressed in a leopard skin loincloth. 

- After witnessing the fascinating man vs lion wrestling match, you found yourself wrapped around him as he swung through the jungle, clutching you to him as you whipped past tree after tree. It was an amazing feeling …up until you crashed into one of said trees. 

- Almost immediately, the world went black and you felt yourself slipping out of consciousness....

- Groggy. That was the best way to describe you as you woke up. Groggy and confused; particularly by the fact that you were now tucked into a makeshift bed and surrounded by unfamiliar wooden walls. 

- Your confusion was only made worse as a Gorilla dressed in an apron and carrying a tray of food came hobbling into the room. It was almost enough to make you faint again; which may or may not have happened after your savior swung in and introduced himself. 

- The entire situation is definitely going to take some getting used to but the “white ape”; George, certainly made things a whole lot easier for you. He was always there to protect and help you, teaching you about his fascinating life and making sure you were comfortable. 

- It doesn’t take long for you to develop feelings for him; and for him to develop feelings for you, so it’s no surprise when the two of you wind up kissing only a few nights into your stay with him. 

- The two of you are sat high up in a tree, looking out into the horizon as the sun begins to set. It was a place he told you he wanted to show you and it was absolutely breathtaking …almost as breathtaking as the realization that he was slowly leaning in. 

- You locked eyes with him and; upon seeing what he wanted to do, took the initiative, finishing what he started by closing the distance and softly pressing your lips to his. 

- It was easy to tell that it was his first kiss but you really didn’t mind. The awkwardness in his affection was endearing and you’d already decided that you’d be staying long enough to teach him all that you knew anyway....

- Considering the fact that you live in the jungle, it isn’t often that the two of you come across other people so pda isn’t much of an issue. But, even if you were around people, he wouldn’t mind showing you lots of affection; particularly because he isn’t used to normal romantic etiquette. 

- With that being said, he absolutely adores affection and would love both giving and receiving it whenever he could. 

- Handholding; both because you just like doing it and because it allows you to keep this wild child in check. 

- Long hugs. Whenever the two of you hug, he never wants to let go so expect to be wrapped up in his arms for a long while. 

- You kissing his face? A+. But, if you want him to kiss yours, you’re going to have to teach him how because he would definitely just smush or hold his lips to your face cluelessly if you didn’t. 

- Clumsy kisses. You’re the first girl he’s ever kissed so please excuse his awkward lip locks. 

- You probably cuddle by quite literally laying on top of him. You’re either using him as a mattress or you’re cuddling as close to him as you can with his arms draped over or wrapped around you and his face nuzzled into your hair. 

- He’ll usually call you by your given name or adopt the pet names that you use on him; though he probably comes up with Queen of the Jungle on his own. 

- Him licking your face. It's just something you’re gonna have to get used to. 

- Speaking of getting used to things: don’t mind him whenever he starts behaving weirdly. He’s trying to flirt or show affection like an ape and doesn’t recognize that he’s pretty much just making weird noises and throwing leaves at you and that you don’t find that sexy. 

- Playing chess and talking with Ape. He’s pretty cool once you get used to the whole talking animal thing. 

- Him giving you flowers and putting them in both your hairs. Whenever he wants to look special for you, he’ll wind up decorating himself with all different kinds of them. 

- Grooming each other. 

- Reading to him, telling him different stories, and describing movies or books to him. It’s a fun way to pass the time and you love seeing the look of wonder and interest on his face whenever you do. 

- Him showing off his tricks to impress and make you laugh. He loves any kind of praise you give him; even if its just a smile. 

- Swinging on vines with him. 

- Swimming in lakes and sitting in those secret little alcoves behind waterfalls. It’s a nice way to get a little privacy; even if the only “people” you have to hide from are animals. 

- Picnics; oftentimes high up in the trees. 

- Bonfires or campfires; if there's even a difference.

- Dancing together.

- Wearing his necklace.

- Waking up to breakfast in bed; though whether he or Ape made it is always up for debate.

- Playing tag or just running around and chasing each other.

- Making jungle calls.

- Riding on Shep. 

- Watching each other interact with all of the different animals around you. He’s definitely better with them than you are but he finds that there’s something incredibly charming about you trying your best to be soothing and sweet to all the little; or big, creatures who approach you. 

- Going on walks and tours around the jungle with him. 

- Being lifted, helped down, caught, and carried whenever you’re out and about. He’s constantly looking out for you and taking care of your less than graceful self. 

- Bridal carrying. He lives to have you in his arms, cradled against him. 

- Taking care of him after he has his clumsy accidents. Although, he always laughs off his injuries and insists that he’s fine anytime you assume he must be hurt; even if he really isn’t. 

- He definitely trips or runs into things while your back is turned and then quickly tries to pretend it didn't happen whenever you turn to look at him after hearing his “oof” noises. He’s lucky he has a disarming smile because you’d probably question him a whole lot more if he didn’t. 

- Him wearing your clothes. How dare he look better in your dresses than you do? Who gave him the right?

- Going shopping with him.

- Introducing him to “the real world” and getting him at least somewhat used to society.

- Teaching him more of your language. Not completely related but he definitely innocently calls you handsome and says other things like that constantly.

- Your parents are going to have to meet the jungle man at some point and when they do …it’ll be interesting.

- Never having to feel embarrassed about anything.

- None of your insecurities would ever phase him since he’d have no other frame of reference for the human body besides you and himself. Dark circles, acne, stretch marks, body hair; he’d think it was all normal and he’d never judge you for it.

- You’re the only girl George has ever had eyes for and because of that, he feels as though everyone you encounter will have the same response to you as he’s had. Why wouldn’t they want you for themselves? 

- So, of course, he’s going to get jealous when he sees you being friendly with other men; you’ll just have to explain things to him and reassure him that it’s not like that. 

- He’s incredibly protective of you. He’ll do whatever he can to keep you safe and everyone can hold him to that. 

- Secretly, he sort of likes when you get a little spooked by something; mainly because he gets to act like the macho monkey man of your dreams. He loves when you hide behind him, knowing that you trust him to protect you.

- The two of you really don’t fight. He can’t stand it and you rarely have a reason to anyway. 

- But; if you just so happen to get into one, he’ll tell you that he’s sorry and ask if you forgive him before hugging you tightly once you say that you do. 

- He says he loves you constantly. He loves reminding you and hearing you say it back. 

- George is fully prepared to spend the rest of his life with you. You’re “his mate” and he’s ready to do whatever he can to make you happy and keep you by his side. 

[marahuyomae]

A Theory for Manjiro 'Mikey' Sano

I have a new speculation, because I am overthinking once again-

Manjiro or should I say Mikey, has a dark impulse. We all know that. But why would I separate Manjiro from Mikey as if they are two different persons? Because for me, they are.

Now, why would I say that they are two different people... Well for starters Manjiro would never hurt his' friends because he cares for them. We all know that the reason why he is hurting was because he has a Dark Impulse.

What if the Dark Impulse issue we all have been talking about does not really exist? Instead, it was a whole different person? In the same body?

Mikey was the reason why all of these things are happening, and we all just blame it in a Dark Impulse that we do not know if it really exists.

Manjiro on the other hand, is the person we all cherish because of that smile that he possess.

What I am trying to say is, there are two people inside one body.... My explanation is that, throughout Manjiro/Mikey's teenage years... We see him changing moods A LOT. And maybe because during those times, Mikey and Manjiro still can't seem to have any idea on how to control the body together.

So maybe back then, every time Manjiro feels tired- physically, emotionally or maybe mentally, Mikey would use the body... Because, let us all be honest, what do you do when you are tired? You kind of 'shut down'. And since Manjiro was 'shut down', Mikey will try to use the body since Manjiro is unconscious.

We all know that Manjiro actually confessed that there are times that he felt like he is a different person, and his' vision turns white. (Wait was it like that... or?? I forgot what he really said??)

Maybe, that is the time that Mikey is using the body.

(I do not know if I can explain it to you properly, but I am going to continue ranting here like an idiot even if me myself, can't understand what I am doing right now.)

So when did this whole issue of started? What else? Back when Baji and Manjiro decided to have foreign names of course! (Not really during this time.. because we all know that his' first black out was during THAT accident. But hear me out-)

Back then, Manjiro always gets called by his' name... But after claiming to be Mikey/Michael. He was somehow always called by Mikey, then maybe that was the time that Mikey claimed it as his' name.

Manjiro the childish, brave, and caring half.

Mikey the cruel, dark impulse.

Ever since then, Manjiro was always called by 'Mikey'... Maybe this also resulted in making Manjiro think he is MIKEY more than himself... resulting for it to go through Manjiro's head. Making Mikey claim the body more as his' than being Manjiro's.

Maybe that is also the reason why his mind set is different and unpredictable back then, because of the two people that is controlling it.

[drtenebres]

who are the most developed/most focused on characters right now??

Thanks for the ask!! It’s hard to say who is the most developed character right now, due to so many brain cells trying to work together, but we’ve all got our own individual ones we’re working on that we feel the strongest about !

@shslstraws :

blah blah blah this is where jude talks about oumota -Snelly (SHAAAAADDUPPPPP -Straws) 

Kaito (My beloved) - A commonfolk who was oblivious by the magic world around him until he inevitably is pushed to it, by living his new life as a Tenebroso werewolf. The cause for how he became a werewolf is unknown, and he tries to keep away from his friends and family to protect them from this “curse”. Kaito gets in a mix of mages and eventually meets with Kokichi, a plague doctor who claims he can cure him. He slowly realizes and comes to face the reality that is Tenebres. 

Kokichi (Most developed??) - A mage who lived in an orphanage until he gets adopted by two mages, Nagito and Hajime. Kokichi dreams of being far powerful than both his dads and going back to recruit the other orphanage kids to his upcoming organization. Until he gets a set back when he takes things too far with the magi academy, he gets demoted to a Plague Doctor; a low status of a mage. It is until he meets Kaito, on one of his duties, and believes if he figures out the mystery behind Tenebrosos, he will earn the right to regain his place back in the academy. 

Shuichi (Most Focused on ATM) - Born from the great Kyoko Kirigiri and Makoto Naegi, there are a lot of expectations put upon Shuichi since he was very young. The expectations were too high and too heavy to carry that Shuichi decided to leave behind that life and the Kirigiri name. He meets up with Rantaro who gives him the ability of a werewolf, and thinks he can finally start anew. Until he faces the same problems with being a werewolf and being part of a pack, Shuichi decides to live amongst the commonfolk with his new friends Kaito, Kaede, and Maki by his side. 

@baylardian-1 :

Kyoko (Most focused on) - A detective who grew up working under a large magefolk entity in the specific branch that deals with magic-based crimes. Kyoko is telepathic with a hindered use of magic due to a strange curse covering both of her hands. Because of her ability to read minds and the overwhelming loudness many voices can create in her head, Kyoko prefers working alone. Eventually she retires from her occupation and becomes a private investigator alongside her husband Makoto.

Hifumi (Most developed) - A hamster familiar most closely resembling a smitten patsy for Celestia Ludenberg. Not having many friends he impulsively chose to follow a pretty girl one day and has never ceased. Initially out of threat, Hifumi would perform healing spells for Celestia after her hunts in addition to take care of her every beck and call. Nowadays their relationship takes on a more unspoken respect and fondness for one another.

Mukuro (My beloved) - A Tenebroso werewolf nearing closer to being 400 years old in age. Born a mage alongside her younger twin sister Junko, many events surrounding their past are shrouded in mystery. As a Tenebroso she has an unnaturally extended life. Mukuro is naturally covered in scars and physically looks to be reaching her mid 50's-early 60's. She is most often however seen to be disguising herself as a young girl.

@snellymain :

Kiyo (Most developed) - A socially reclusive vampire with a guilty conscience and a sworn duty to feed by killing swiftly rather than turning anyone else into a vampire; since he hates his vampirism and his sister that cursed him with it. Has a huge fondness for humans and anthropology after his controlling sister's hatred for them caused him to have extremely limited interactions with them. Ends up committed to a mage named Angie while the unwanted spirit of his sister began haunting him after many years of being dead.

Mahiru (Most focused on) - A standard mage with very little powers and a high respect for her non-mage mother, matching her disdain for her mage father. She got into photography as she had no attachment to her underwhelming magic, until her mother urged her to go to an academy so she wouldn't let her powers go to waste like her father did. After doing so, being out in the world more, she met Hiyoko and Hiro; in which she happily adopted the former and angrily married the latter.

Angie (My beloved) - A healing-based blood mage raised communally on an island, she heals others wounds with their own blood and often secretly takes their blood for her own use while doing so; mostly to feed her partner Kiyo, but she also has a fascination for blood of her own, initially being a result of her village's blood sacrifices and now a result of her blood magic. Generally a loud nuisance, though a medically helpful nuisance, in her academy.

@samsquatchem :

Doodle + blurb done by Snelly ♥

Yasuhiro (Their beloved) - A nomadic powerful mage with a wide variety of powers, mostly focusing on clairvoyance and near-limitless telekinesis; generally wanders around getting money wherever he can but spending it horrendously, ending up in a constant flat circle of time. He’s basically homeless; not out of poverty but what he considers convenience and tax evasion, for the most part and bums around Mahiru’s place. Close friends and a father figure to Hiyoko, (much to Mahiru’s initial dismay) the two bond over their shared tendency to wander and be in a new place every week + magic that neither know how to use properly, she became quickly attached to him due to him being the first person to talk to her after she ran away from home. Hiro is able to see the future but unable to speak it verbatim or else the opposite outcome will come to fruition, he can only nudge clients in the right direction of his visions. Most people think his magic is a scam and he’s the most useless mage ever.

@sutexii :

Chiaki (My Beloved) - A wooden mask enchanted with a human soul, powered by dream juice and magic robotics. Created by Chihiro to live in the dream realm (where u go when u sleep + also where the killing games take place) to gather data on it for Chihiro’s research, and help those in it travel safely. Has a deep fascination with the unpredictable and strange, and enjoys seeking out new knowledge wherever she can. Still likes her games, and while originally given access to some to help entertain those she’s traveling with, she just ends up hoarding them herself.

Tenko (Most Focused On ATM) - Commonfolk w/ a smidge of monster that comes out when her anger peaks. Abandoned due to said anger issues as a child, and taken in by Aoi and Sakura. She had a very Ghibli idyllic childhood, having adventures with friends and delivering donuts for her mom. Learned martial arts from her mom, taking a particular liking to Aikido, and through it learned to control her anger. Follows childhood crush Himiko around to protect her, leading to her entering the less than legal artifact smuggling trade with her later in life.

Aoi (Most Developed) - Water elemental with a love for baking donuts and raising/rehabilitating carp. Married to Sakura, having met when she wandered into the pond in her family’s abandoned dojo and decided to stay to fix it up, motivating Sakura to fix the rest of the place up in turn. Very carefree, friendly, and laid back, loves kids and taking on the “fun auntie” role. Never worked on her humanoid appearance much at all until motherhood, Tenko enters their life and it became hard to hold back a feral monster baby with fins.

@Soupcifer_ :

Nekomaru (Franken-maru) (most developed) - A reanimated corpse who was brought back to life thanks to the help of Kazuichi and Mikan. Unfortunately, he has amnesia and thus no recollection of his past friendships and family. He's a lot more quiet and mellow in comparison to his old self which makes him seem pretty dull, but in actuality he's being rather attentive and simply trying to understand everything that's happening. He does a lot of behind-the-scenes work when no ones looking like cleaning up after Kazuichi and setting reminders for Akane (still a team manager at heart).

Gonta (My beloved) - A vampire raised by werewolves. He only recently came to terms with being a vampire as he lived most of his life assuming the form of a wolf. He has an obsession with bugs, classic literature, and vintage clothing. Gonta likes to follow around a few of his friends, Angie and Korekyio (wink), and be of assistance whenever he can. He unfortunately has trouble dealing with his vampire nature sometimes due to only having lived with werewolves, so he often turns to Korekiyo for help.

Chihiro (most focused on) - An electric elemental! Chihiro is the creator/parent of Chiaki and Monomi. They have a passion for creating things that run on electricity and magic and as a result created their two lovely daughters (that and to investigate the dream realm). Chihiro also has the ability to possess electronics and machinery! Despite being incredibly small, they can emit a surprisingly large amount of energy which makes possessing large or complicated machinery an easy task.

[missmouse43]

Falling For You

Summary: Still stranded on Poguelandia and having to survive on their own, JJ is determined to collect coconuts for his friends. It goes about as well as Kiara expected.

Pairing: JJ Maybank/Kiara Carrera

Words: 2.9k

Read on: AO3

A/N: AHHH! My second Jiara fic is officially done! This was actually written a lot faster than I normally write so obviously I am VERY excited for S3 :P I just can’t escape the Poguelandia feels. I wrote this because this is exactly the kind of romantic tension build-up I hope to see while they’re stranded on the island. 

Enjoy!

“Hey, Jay?” Kiara used her hand to shield her eyes from the blinding Caribbean sun as she looked up towards the sky and called out to get the blond boy’s attention.

 JJ answered without actually looking down at her, too preoccupied with the task at hand. “Sup?”

“Whatcha doing?” Kiara asked, and contrary to her sing-song voice she actually wasn’t as laid back as she appeared. Like, at all.

It had been two days since the pogues became stranded on the island and surprisingly things were going well. They had set up a makeshift camp further up the beach and managed to build a pretty decent looking shelter to keep them protected at night while they slept. Boiling water wasn’t an issue, JJ was catching enough fish for them to not go hungry for an entire week, and foraging the island had produced more than enough fruit to keep them satiated while they waited for rescue.

Of course there were downsides to being stranded in the middle of the ocean—never knowing whether or not rescue was actually coming being the most glaringly obvious one, as well as a lack of indoor plumbing. God, what Kiara wouldn’t do for a shower right now. There was never a time where she didn't have sand in all the wrong places. The shitty water pressure at the château was looking better and better by the hour. 

Then, of course, there was the whole matter of facing the inevitable shit show waiting back home for them in the Outer Banks when (or if) they did manage to get off this island. Kiara had planted herself firmly on the side of denial whenever the thought of confronting her parents again crossed her mind. If she thought about their distraught and disappointed faces too long it started to make her feel sick to her stomach.

So Kiara kept herself busy with different tasks throughout the days to keep her mind from wandering to less than pleasant thoughts.

And the task she had assigned herself right now?

Keeping an eye on JJ.

This decision to babysit the most unpredictable of the pogues is how Kiara found herself wandering around a bend in the shoreline out of sight from the others only to find the blond boy climbing his way up the long, slanted trunk of a palm tree rooted in some nearby foliage. 

“Coconuts!” JJ shouted down to her, keeping his eye on the prize more than several feet away from him. “I’m getting me some coconuts,” he said a little quieter to himself, more determined, perhaps to hype himself up, but Kiara still heard him. She figured out pretty quickly after that that this was about a lot more than just coconuts.

Her gaze instinctively wandered to the top of the tree to see exactly what JJ was after tucked under a couple of palm leaves. There were four coconuts in total. Two of them were dishearteningly small, the third just slightly bigger than the first and second, and the last one was a fairly decent size. It would be a welcomed change in their diet to add some variety. There wasn’t enough for all of them to have their own but they could make due by sharing. It was the only way they had been surviving out here.

Still—that wasn’t Kiara’s main concern at the moment.

“Okay. Follow up question,” Kiara continued, trying not to cringe as JJ’s bare feet scraped along the rough bark of the tree as he inched himself forward. “Could you maybe try not to kill yourself for, like, a day? Just one day.”

She was using that deceptively cavalier tone she would often fall back on when expressing her concern for JJ when he was doing something potentially dangerous, knowing full well there was no hope at all in getting him to change his mind once he had made it up to do the potentially dangerous thing.

The palm tree looked like it could be anywhere from 20 to 30ft long in total but it was hard to tell in the way it was bending towards the open waters of the ocean. Kiara estimated it would be about a 10ft fall at the highest points. The good news was JJ was far out enough along the trunk that if he did fall he’d have the soft sand on the beach to land on. The bad news was it was entirely plausible that JJ—because he was JJ— would find a way to land directly on his head, rendering the cushy sand completely useless.

Deep down Kiara knew she was probably being silly. Growing up she had seen JJ climb plenty of old, rotted trees that were in far worse condition than the one he was bear hugging right now. The issue wasn’t whether or not JJ was capable of making the climb (that much was a given), but after almost losing him a few days ago Kiara couldn’t shake this feeling of wanting to shelter JJ from the world around him. She had always been protective of her boys and JJ especially because of what a loose cannon he could be, so in some aspects it was a familiar instinct.

But something was different now.

In the span of over just 48 hours Kiara had become increasingly more anxious than what was probably necessary when the blond boy would wander off around the Island on his own to do God knows what without telling anybody. Or when JJ didn’t come back to camp before it got dark last night and Kiara was legitimately starting to panic; coming up with all these worse case scenarios in her head until JJ came sauntering up the beach minutes later with a grin plastered on his face and a new story to tell.

Everything between them felt heightened now, and Kiara tried to rationalize her behaviour by telling herself that that’s just what happens when you go through a traumatic experience with someone close to you. It wasn’t the same as John B and Sarah disappearing in the storm, or even Pope with the wasp stings.

Those moments had been horrendous and scarring events to have lived through and Kiara felt anxiety twist in her chest even just thinking about it. But she and JJ had went through the horror of almost drowning together. She was right there with him, pleading with him, holding him for every terrifying and hopeless moment of it.

That was an experience the two of them shared that no one else could possibly understand. Kiara cared about him so much, and they had already been beaten down worse than ever before. She couldn’t bear the thought of something else happening to him.

So Kiara worried. And JJ seemed to be none the wiser.

Dumbass.

“Evolution is on my side, Kie! I can feel the blood of our primate brothers and sisters flowing through me. I got this!” JJ predictably brushed off her concerns as he slid forward another arm’s length. His face was red and he was sweating either from the sun beating down on him or the exertion; maybe a combination of the two.

“You comparing yourself to an ape—while objectively accurate and hilarious—is not the reassurance you think it is,” Kiara responded dryly.

JJ shimmied forward again and Kiara could start to hear him breathing a little heavier now. When he paused for a moment to shake out the fatigue in his arms, Kiara cast a glance over her shoulder to see if any of their friends were within sight before quickly turning back.

“Couldn’t you have at least waited until John B could spot you for when you inevitably fall and break your neck? If I try to catch you I will literally snap in half." Even as she said this Kiara found herself subconsciously taking a step closer. JJ circled his arms around the trunk as best he could and for the first time genuinely struggled to pull himself forward.

“Trying to concentrate here, Kie!” he grunted as his body swayed precariously to one side and then the other as he tried to get his feet situated flat on either side of the trunk for an extra push.

Kiara knew when to bite her tongue and kept quiet while JJ slowly but surely continued to make progress towards his goal. Just as Kiara was sure JJ had gotten back into the push-pull rhythm of his climbing strategy, his left foot suddenly slid out from under him and off the bark, causing his entire body to abruptly jerk to the same side.

Panicked reflexes kicked in and JJ just barely managed to keep himself from falling by squeezing his arms and pushing his chest to the tree as tightly as he could while using his other leg as a counter balance.

That still didn’t stop Kiara from jumping and nearly having a heart attack though.

“Be careful!” she hissed up at him.

JJ was clearly a bit rattled by the near free fall, but he swallowed it down and played it off by peering down at her with a twitchy smile. Kiara tried not to hold her breath as JJ climbed the last few feet towards the top of the palm tree and reached out a hand to grab one of the hard outer shells of the coconuts.

“And Bingo was his name-o!” JJ hooted excitedly as he pulled himself up to straddle the trunk; his earlier apprehension entirely forgotten now. “Hot potato coming down!”

One by one JJ dropped the coconuts down onto the sand in front of Kiara’s feet, and after so many days of losing it actually felt amazing to finally have a win. It was a small victory, but still worth celebrating.

“Holy shit!” Kiara exclaimed. “You actually did it!”

JJ leaned over to look at her face; a cocky grin curving his lips. “You gotta start learnin’ to have some faith in me, Carrera! Your life would be so much easier!”

Kiara let out a joyful laugh as JJ—much more confident now—started to work his way backwards down the tree trunk. He moved quickly and efficiently, but Kiara sobered up enough to offer a quick word of caution. “Alright Tarzan. Good job. Now please just come back down. Carefully.”

“See, the trick is you gotta reverse-worm your way down to protect the family jewels!” JJ explained while barely breaking stride.

Kiara’s face twisted into confusion. “That’s… not at all relevant to me but I’ll pass that information along to the boys, thanks.”

They once again fell into a silence that wasn’t so heavy this time, and Kiara took the moment of calm as an opportunity to admire the boy in front of her. The way the muscles in his arms and legs tensed and rippled under tanned skin as he moved. The way his blond hair had turned almost platinum under the incessant rays of the sun. The concentrated curve of his brows and the sheen of sweat covering his forehead.

He couldn’t possibly be comfortable in the position he was in, and yet Kiara saw something irrefutably lighter in the way he carried himself; something proud and childlike in spirit. Out here, stranded on an island in the middle of nowhere with their little family of misfits, JJ wasn’t burdened by his past or a reputation that precedes him. He was allowed to embrace every part of himself he had been forced to hide or bury in order to survive all these years.

Despite everything they had gone through he was thriving; as a provider, as a protector, as an adventurer. Kiara didn’t know how he did it. JJ had never looked more in his element than he did right now. This was the best possible JJ there could be. It’s like he belonged here. 

He was free.

He was happy.

He was mesmerizing.

Kiara had never seen a more attractive version of him.

“You’re kind of amazing out here, you know?” The words slipped out surprisingly easy, and because she meant them from the deepest parts of her heart, Kiara didn’t allow herself to second guess them.

JJ was a little more than halfway to the ground when his head comically snapped to look down at her with the widest, crystal blue eyes. “What? OH SHIIIIII—!”

Within seconds JJ’s grip on the tree loosened and then he was falling. Kiara heard a gasp leave her mouth as JJ’s body came down on the opposite side of the tree to her in a quick flash. Then he was on the ground.

JJ landed on his back and felt the air get knocked out of his lungs from the impact. For a moment he laid there in the sand, dazed and perfectly still staring up at the stretching, cloudless sky above. His equilibrium had been violently altered in the blink of an eye. JJ was more concerned with getting his bearings back than assessing any possible injuries.

“JJ!”

Suddenly Kiara was right there by his side on her knees in the sand leaning over him. “Hey! JJ!” she yelled with a tremble in her voice, desperate for some indication that he wasn’t hurt.

JJ blinked a few times in rapid succession to clear some of the white spots from his vision. Then, as he slowly started to come to the realization that he was fine (if not a little sore), he focused in on the fearful brown eyes rapidly darting over his face.

“You’re a jinx,” JJ deadpanned.

A relieved little laugh bubbled up out of Kiara that seemed to surprise even her as her muscles instantly relaxed and she sagged deeper into the sand. “If anything I’m the reason you’re alive right now,” she said. “I’m a good luck charm.”

JJ hummed distractedly as Kiara placed a light hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright? Did you hit your head?” Her voice was a tender whisper now and her concern was achingly sincere.

Staring up at her soft, imploring face that only had eyes for him, framed by a head of dark curls with the sun shining impossibly brighter than it ever had before behind her head, JJ was left breathless all over again.

JJ always knew Kiara was gorgeous—anyone with eyes and half a brain could see that—but right now she looked like a freaking sun-kissed Goddess without even trying to, and being on the receiving end of such beauty was waaaay too much for JJ’s simple (and slightly scrambled), brain to comprehend right now.

He was temporarily stunned into silence until he remembered that Kiara asked him a question.

“Uh, nah. Nope. I’m good. Sand broke my fall.”

A quiet, flustered chuckle died on his lips when Kiara tapped the side of his head with two fingers. “You were just knocked unconscious two days ago. I know you have a thick skull, but isn’t this a little much even for you?” Kiara smirked.

JJ levels her with a stern look. “Kie. Coconuts,” he insists, and Kiara fights the urge to roll her eyes.

“You’re lucky you didn’t land on those coconuts.”

Feeling a lot more stable, JJ pushed himself up into a sitting position and frowned at the scratchy feeling of sand sticking to his skin. He turned his head to check on Kiara and make sure she wasn’t still worried about him, but instead of reassuring her, JJ saw a hand coming towards his face and he froze.

Kiara’s knuckles brushed against his cheek, wiping away that stupid sand. The action is a lot more intimately affectionate than what JJ was normally used to receiving from her. It’s a lot to process right now, but he manages to hide any reaction well. When Kiara’s hand retreats and her finger tip accidentally grazes the corner of his bottom lip, JJ wonders if the zing of electricity that shoots through his body is a mutual sensation.

Once Kiara has moved back and given him the space he super probably needs (but not necessarily wants), JJ clears his throat to collect himself and starts to leer at her with that sly twinkle in his eyes. “So, you were saying? Something about me being amazing?”

JJ wiggled his fingers to emphasize his point, and that managed to crack a knowing smile out of Kiara. He was clearly fishing for compliments, but Kiara felt compelled to give credit where credit was due. Even if it did only inflate his ego.

“I just meant you’re good at all this deserted island survival stuff,” Kiara answered honestly. “Or at least you were until, well, splat.” She had to put her own twist on it for both their sakes; neither one of them excelled when it came to emotional vulnerability, but it was still the truth and it felt good to say it.

“I’ll take it,” the blond boy said with a boastful grin.

Yup. She’s really done it now.

JJ jumped back up to his feet with a new spring in his step and reached down to collect two of the forgotten coconuts that had started this whole thing into his arms. “Let’s get these babies back to camp,” he said.

Kiara couldn’t tell if he was excited about just the coconuts or something else entirely. She reached over to pickup the remaining two and stood up to start walking alongside JJ back down the beach towards their camp.

“I call dibs on the big one,” Kiara joked just to get a rise out of him.

JJ falls for the bait hook, line, and sinker.

“Excuse you. But I don’t see your ass imprinted in the sand over there—” The rest of JJ’s rant is drowned out by the sound of Kiara’s laughter.

Later, when the time comes to indulge in their new treat, JJ offers Kiara the biggest coconut.

They end up sharing it instead.