#the internet is a weird place

[misakiisstupid]

Headcanon: The @RichardGraysonButtPic Incident

It starts like any normal day in the Batcave—until Tim, the Most Online™ member of the family, suddenly freezes.

"Uh," he says. "So, funny story."

"That's never good," Jason immediately mutters.

Tim hesitates. Then, against his better judgment, he turns his laptop screen around for everyone to see. Displayed in all its high-definition glory is an OnlyFans page dedicated entirely to Dick Grayson’s butt. The username? @RichardGraysonButtPic. The banner? A tasteful black-and-white cinematic shot of his backside. The bio? "The best view in Gotham. No, seriously. It should be in a museum."

There’s silence.

Then Damian speaks. “Father, may I commit a murder?”

Bruce is rubbing his temples like he’s physically in pain. “No, Damian.”

Dick, meanwhile, squints at the screen. “Huh,” he says, tilting his head. “That’s actually a really flattering angle.”

Jason chokes. “That’s your takeaway from this?!”

Tim is furiously typing. “I don’t know whether to shut it down or send a cease-and-desist.”

“It has 300,000 subscribers,” Cassandra says, raising an eyebrow.

“EXCUSE ME?!” Jason and Tim yell in unison.

Dick shrugs. “I mean. Can you blame them?”

Bruce lets out the deepest sigh known to mankind.

Eventually, it’s discovered that the account was made by a die-hard Nightwing fan who has been meticulously curating every publicly available image of Dick’s rear for years. No nudity. No weird edits. Just quality ass appreciation.

The biggest twist? Barbara already knew about it.

And she didn’t tell anyone.

“Why?” Tim demands.

She sips her coffee, completely unbothered. “Because it’s funny.”

Jason officially loses faith in humanity.

Dick just shrugs. “Well, as long as they’re not making money off it.”

Tim scrolls down. He pales.

“Uh. Dick. They’re making a lot of money off it.”

“…Oh.”

Cue Jason cackling, Damian sharpening his sword, Tim panic-coding, and Bruce considering early retirement.

Just another day in the Batfamily.

Bonus:

Steph absolutely knew about the account and just assumed everyone else did too.

Duke finds out later and spends an entire day questioning his life choices.

The Justice League finds out. Barry does not stop laughing. Diana offers to help “shut it down” (she doesn’t). Clark just pats Bruce’s shoulder in silent support.

Dick never officially acknowledges the account… but every now and then, he poses just right in public, and the fandom goes feral.

Is the account still up?

No. Tim nuked it. But for a brief, beautiful moment in time, Gotham’s greatest cultural landmark wasn’t a building—

It was Nightwing’s ass.

[midnightglances]

might be time to disappear for a bit again

[thehumanwiki]

i have read fanfiction for Some Time now. in my time i have seen… many things. i came across people who shipped ash from pokemon with his pikachu. i won’t judge. i have seen much worse, and let they who are without cringe cast the first stone, after all. but i won’t condone the wretched ones who insisted on making pikachu a girl (he is not) so it would be straight. what awful madness is this??? you are shipping the ten year old with his pikachu and yet you look down on yaoi? you want to make this child romantic with his magic mouse and yet the idea of boy/boy is disturbing to you? all of you who have done this are cowards and scoundrels. i will throw you into the ocean and tell posiedon you blinded his cyclops. die.

[turturros]

I hate that there are posts on here that I made when I was 18 but I also hate that I've deleted everything from before that because I wish I could get a glimpse of what 14 year old me was posting on tumblr dot com. I barely remember her

[non-binary-lil-star]

Currently trying to understand why the memes I come up with in 5 minutes get way more attention then art that took me 3 hours

[andhumanslovedstories]

look I'm not gonna pretend I know anything about electronics, but sometimes a plug is so big it blocks another socket, and I'm always like "who the fuck do you think you are"

[porcelanitaa]

[that-one-enby-ranger]

I've been thinking about this for a long time, but it's so fucking funny to me how Halt is the guy that everyone is like "yeah he can stay calm, he's always in control and has great patience when it comes to certain things, he's has great control over his emotions" but at the same time that guy has has bet up more than one teenage apprentice in the span of two books, thrown two guys out a window in the span of one book, made Will sleep outside in the cold, not even in the ground but in a fucking tree for singing a song and having a bit of whimsy in his life, threw a guy off his horse by putting his bowstring around his neck, knocking him out (and then wanted to punch him again when he woke up) for being a bit of a dick, and at one point in The Emporer of Nihon-Ja, Will was sure Halt was gonna deck a dude or something along those lines for knocking his hood back off his face. And thats just the stuff actually in the books, there's probably way more we don't know about.

I'm trying to think of any more shit he's done now.

It's just funny how he can apparently be the most calm and in control man but also get super easily pissed off and ready to kill in an instant at the same time.

[theavidindoorswoman]

This is what it looks like when you’ve smoked the powerful shit that has ever been smoked.

“They need to cast Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds as King Charles and Queen Camilla if they ever make another true story romance movie about them.” - Submitted by Anonymous

[thisischeri]

instagram: cheri.png

[bogkeep]

ok this is a very niche and meta peeve but. when you live in a country that's not the US or the UK and especially if your native language is not english. there's a lot of ways people from the aforementioned countries may disregard your existence or experiences, grading from Harmful to Annoying. like i think everyone outside of usa can attest to how grating it can be that people from the protagonist country will forget that a whole world exists outside of it for realsies and not just on the news sometimes, with different languages and cultures and currencies and systems and peoples and politics.

countries like sweden and norway are extremely privileged and well regarded globally and don't need to be like, protected. white people from here are not gonna experience real life ramifications of mean sweden jokes online. but there's still a weird dynamic present if like, if the Big Protagonist Country is like, treating a different culture as Weird or Lesser, especially if the people doing it have very little clue about the cultural nuances or politics in question, while everyone Outside of Big Protagonist Country have to learn about THEIR political ongoings every single day, all the time. like, it's a pet peeve. it's annoying. i don't enjoy it. it's not the end of the world! it just sucks that it's so skewed.

so here's the meta aspect. if you complain about anything about norway in norway, especially about how maybe things could be better for marginalized groups, or how maybe some systems could be changed, you'll essentially be told "you live in the world's best country so sit down and shut up." like i genuinely think this attitude is a rot that runs through norwegian culture and something we need to reevaluate.

but something that ALSO happens, if you complain about pet peeves like people mispronouncing norwegian words or how swedengate sucked or when people think the Ø is just a fancy O, is that some people will tell you that you cannot complain about this because other people are ACTUALLY oppressed and sweden is not. it's just "norway is the best country to live in so sit down and shut up" but from the outside.

obviously this is not a big material problem in my real life as i live it. but it's annoying! complaining is a human right!!!

[porcelanitaa]

I wanna be an internet mystery

[fleurvi]

The things I've seen people saying about shipping (especially on tiktok) are baffling to me. The hate for non-canon ships, saying that crossover ships and crackships are weirdo behaviour, acting like all shipping content has to 100% pure and non toxic, acting like rare pairs are invalid, condemning fanfiction about ships you don't like etc. WHY ARE WE TRYING TO UNCRINGE FANDOM? 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

[ghost-proofbaby]

hi just wanted to take a moment and say sorry i haven't been posting a ton of my writing this month. i took it off (writing wise) for my mental health and due to not feeling entirely comfortable on here right now. i solemnly swear come july i'll be back, and hopefully worse better than ever. <3

[satosktty]

satoru would be a physics major ( by choice even as a nepo baby ) that's talented in fashion and art studies because everything exists in a context—when sukuna ( a current fashion major ) meets satoru he's taken a back on how satoru seems to come up with ideas far better more beautiful than most of his classmates and himself could ever come up with, things that are on the level of the greats he likes.

but as he sticks around satoru he realizes that satoru's idea are so authentic because he doesn't think about fashion being about fashion. satoru takes fashion and the arts as things that always connect to life and because satoru has lived his life sneaking away from his family to enjoy things, he goes to places that are grimey with the worst people imaginable and come out with an even greater insight on life and persepctive. therefore, he can understand art better than someone in art college that is simply copying basquiat.

for example in black swan; nina couldn't play the roll of the black swan even though she had been obsessed with ballerina for years because the story isn't about ballet. it's about romance, and Nina's never experienced that.

satoru remains completely unaware of his gift and just sends sukuna more and more of the designs he came up with.

tldr: autistic manic pixie outdoes fashion major future boyfriend

[thegreatyin]

i feel like ive made yall feel way too safe regarding my gaming opinions. im gonna post ffxiv hottakes until someone begs me to stop