#the idea that ppl dont always change for the better
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love when a character gets Worse while everyone else is getting better. i want one of my characters to get worse but idk most of them already start at such a bad place to begin with lmao. my original character outline for bubblegum was kind of similar tho
#thinking abt steven universe future and the headspace i was in while it was coming out and where STEVEN was as a person#just like continuously becoming a worse person while everyone else around you is improving#the idea that ppl dont always change for the better#sunshine or bubblegum would be the most likely i think cuz sunshine will never deal with his issues ever until its too late#bubblegum's original story was like..... a bit more about denial and then being forced to confront this unreverseable tragedy#that she feels she's responsible for. that was a weird one#obviously now if i did anything similar it would still have to be completely different#txt#object ocs
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scrolling through instagram and it's making me want to die
#i know instagram doesn't represent ppls real lives#but that doesnt change the fact that i don't have many friends who care about me#and almost everyone my year is graduating and celebrating#i am so fucking lonely. i don't think any of my school friends miss me#24 days self-harm free but i might say fuck it and relapse tonight#why though? i guess i just need some way to express how im feeling inside. or maybe it's to punish myself or because im feeling worthless#it's been over a year now since i first reached out to professionals for help for this depressive episode#over a year and im still as lost as ever. i know im doing so much better than i was but i still feel so awful every single day#i feel like i still need to be doing a lot better before i can go back to school#i feel so stuck and hopeless. i know I've made so much progress but i don't feel as if ill be able to make anymore progress#i feel like I've hit a wall and ive tried everything#my therapist told me to just keep eating sleeping and getting movement in everyday and be patient#ive been going on walks every day for like 2 weeks now and i dont feel any difference#seeing my psychiatrist wednesday and im hoping she will have an idea of what to do#i hope it's not just slightly adjusting my meds or even just trying a different antidepressant (not many left i haven't tried)#i also worry that im not bad enough for more intensive treatments like ECT or ketamine#if she tells me that i just need more therapy or another group i might just fucking end it#idk like i kinda feel like im fine and there's nothing wrong with me but at the same time i always am feeling so fucking depressed#i have had so much improvement but honestly part of me wishes i was still actively suicidal#idk what to do
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the stereotype of rwingers becoming trans and then trying to become leftists shouldnt be a "ewww you're morally impure and havent been a perfect progressive since you were a fetus like I have" type of thing, if anything it should open up a broader conversation on how a lot of people amab are basically from day one being indoctrinated into the right thus making it harder for people to accept themselves and thats very concerning and we need to do something to stop this.
#and no amount of shouting 'men bad' will fix this btw. not that some of you care. you just want to shout....#and then ur like 'im just venting !!!!' on a post that's clearly made to get attention and reblogs.............#if ur just venting why are u providing links and wanting to spread this information#i just hate when ppl have a lot of shit to say but never any solutions. its like. great thanks i already know that. now what.#now what do we do to make things better? and if it required you to change in any way would you be willing to do so?#and some ppl dont wanna answer those questions bc they just want to rant but for some reason cant do that w/o trying to make it#a political post to get reblogs on tumblr..? if its a vent post turn off reblogs. like.???????#bc you providing links n shit and making it seem like you want the info spread but no one can critique you on how you provide#0 solutions or ideas in any capacity on how to fix things and just only ever demonize men- is giving heavy propaganda vibes#like i dont think ur doing it intentionally as propaganda i think ur just defensive but thats how its coming off#you're basically saying 'men bad' and thats it. like thats the only substance to what you're saying. theres never a solution.#theres never a light at the end of the tunnel. just. men bad. forever and ever. and that feels propaganda-y to me.#like as if you're a rwinger trying to convince me black ppl are all violent by only ever showing me stuff of black ppl being violent#and not even ever providing solutions to a fake problem so the natural conclusion i the viewer am to come to is 'black people violent.#always violent. should avoid' bc thats how racist propaganda works...... and... well.... *eyes your blog up and down*... yeah...#and thats not me saying 'men r oppressed like black people' thats me making an analogy that's similar. idk why acting that way#would suddenly be okay behavior if its about men instead........ like........... tf. doing this about anything is weird and sus as fuck lik#what possible reason would you have to antagonize and demonize something that much#its like. that subreddit of people who hate dogs. like they cant ever see dogs in a positive light ever and its just like weirdly cruel#for no real reason...? idk... and even if they have valid trauma about dogs like... maybe this level of vitriol to where you are quite#literally foaming at the mouth isnt good for you and you need to like look into why that's your reaction and why you think its ok to act#like that#and i dont mean that in a 'lol ur foaming at the mouth' i mean it in a 'im genuinely concerned about how upset you are' kind of way
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signature spells and the person
(referencing this list because i cant remember them all)
spoilers for all books. and glorious masquerade
(note that some characters i dont know well at all. which you can kind of tell with me being super unsure. there's this person in the reblogs who elaborated on bits i wasn't quite correct on or didnt have an idea on so go read it!)
signature spells embodying the person sort of? Riddle - collar. restriction. limitations.
Deuce - not taking hits lying down. striking back. (a reckless idiot like that)
Cater - hm.. putting on an act for everyone? people pleaser? so its like. all of those little 'acts' and 'personas' he puts on are sort of 'him' in a sense. but its also not him at the same time. (like how the clones arent actually him because they're just a creation of his magic. but they are him in a way, too right?)
trey - sneaky sneaky guy who notices a lot more than you'd think. presents himself as one way but he's complicated
Leona - sand. like all his hard work turning to sand, or basically nothing.
Jack - wolves work in packs, right? he wants to work in a pack. (even though he says he doesn't). they're strong, but they do better together. ..probably. idk.
Ruggie - treating all people 'equally' (in the sense that he'd mess with them all. unless they were a serious trouble to deal with) also sucks up to people........ (and probably laughing at them behind their back for being such a 'fool' haha get it. because fool's parade..--) maybe? Idk.
Azul - exchanging his old self for an asshole basically (because he must've been a nicer guy as a bby. but then ppl were mean to him and now he's very bitter.)
Jade - acting like the more calmer and reasonable of the twins, even though he can be just like floyd, if a bit more dangerous considering he can get under your skin, get you trust him, that he just wants to 'help you'. and you tell him all your secrets. and then it 'shocks your heart' when he reveals his true colors. (like bruh. his halloween groovification message was literally, "Oooh, I love it when you flee in terror. It makes me want to chase you!")
Floyd - i don't know. uhhh. in his lab coat(?) vignette there's this moment where a guy bumps into him, is like 'hEY WHO DO YOU--' and then realizes its floyd and backs off. basically the guy who intimidates them to make them weaker, ig? terrorizing them. 'binding the heart' in fear. i mean he'll still hurt them ofc, but the point is is that he's the scary one, jade's the 'calm' one, thats his image to people. i dont know him nearly well enough to really get it.
Kalim - wishing for everyone to be happy. to dance and sing and forget about all the troubles. throwing parties and feasts to cheer them up (and granting them relief when needed). although it doesn't always end well and his attempts can end up 'useless', like how oasis maker is 'useless' when people already have easy access to water. but at other points desperately needed.
Jamil - turning him into the 'master' and the other the 'servant'
Vil - planting 'curses' in plain sight. masking it. disguising it. acting. like putting on makeup to change something. maybe. possibly. (this is weak) maybe a false reassurance. a mask.
Epel - accepting who he is (that he's short and seen as 'cute'. and so using it to his advantage.) like, seeming 'soft and dainty' but actually a guy who can beat someone up. like, 'you'll just go to sleep..' (and then the crimson part of slumber with a negative meaning. the poison apple. something that looks innocent but is actually harmful.) and then you never wake up again because you were TRICKED HAHAHA /hj
Rook - will literally do anything for what his fixations are. in which his fixations are 'beauty', which is a very vague category and include literally everything. also very very creepy and stalker-ish in the process.
Idia - honestly idfk. uh. 'responsibility'. burdens. control. it literally just represents a part of his job? idfk. its such a big part of him (also his family had the same UM so like..) that its just. who he is.
Malleus - there was this quote he said about how 'when you nap, even 500 years could pass without you noticing'. so it could be something like how time moves by so fast like that
guh.. it was "Give in to slumber, and a thousand years will pass in the blink of an eye."
Silver - I don't know him that well... i mean like there's references to him having parallels with like. i think.. aurora?? the girl who maleficent cursed. i think. dreams and wishes. i don't know i havent even seen him use it yet LMFAO (ive only finished part 2 of book 7..) maybe like. things not seeming real..? idk man. a desire to see people, to stay by their side, but can't, so instead it'll be in a dream. so either it isn't real, a mere fantasy, or, shrug. like. yknow the remember me song in coco? it's like 'and everytime you hear a guitar you'll remember and think about me' (i cant remember the exact lyrics)
Sebek - admires malleus. a lot. malleus has control over lightning or something. so sebek in turn becomes that 'lightning' that he can control, as his guard and stuff like that. 'i will be his sword', maybe.
lilia - he reflects a lot about the past imo. overly aware of things and the passing of time. at least in my opinion. how things can pass by so easily. so he takes little bits and pieces to cherish for the rest of his life, and to think back on. a trip back down memory lane, as they say.
Rollo - literally gets set on fire like his brother..?? that thing forever haunting him that its such a big part of him at this point (hating magic and hating what happened.) and him hating himself making himself see him as part of the reason why his brother died, and therefore making him literally the thing that killed him sort of?
#thoughts#twst spoilers#twisted wonderland#twst wonderland#twst#riddle rosehearts#ace trappola#deuce spade#cater diamond#trey clover#ruggie bucchi#jack howl#leona kingscholar#jade leech#floyd leech#azul ashengrotto#jamil viper#kalim al asim#vil schoenheit#epel felmier#rook hunt#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#silver twst#sebek zigvolt#rollo flamme#silver vanrouge#I LOVE that thats a tag oh my god
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@evilkaeya @aaabatteryy @starrynightarchive
see my other post about this here
to tl;dr this: when it comes to fandom and content creators, ppl tend to make content of the characters they already love and thus think about most often, which leads to, at times, male characters getting genderbent into women either thru cis or trans hcs, bc they are both genderbending, thats the definition of the term bc youre changing their gender, and getting mad at people for not, in your opinion, "appreciating" the female characters enough, is not doing anything except making people feel bad for not having the "correct" feelings about a character at best, or making them actively angry and thus fueling them to create more of that thing you hate out of spite at worst (for you anyway, not for the people who like it).
this doesnt mean they dont give a shit abt the other characters who arent their faves, but to create a work of art, you need to be able to like. care enough to do it. and that requires more care than just a general enjoyment or appreciation of a character, especially if the work in question is time intensive/would be time intensive, like writing a chapter fic/thousands of words long oneshot, or making a fully rendered piece of art, etc. obvi this will depend on the skill and energy levels of the artist we're talking about but yknow, on a general scale
op of this post blocked me so i cant respond directly on it but, for context
first of all: i'm not illiterate but i'm beginning to think some people on this post might be, given this response, because it is so clearly Not what i was talking about it's a little wild, actually!
also i hate to tell yall this, but the reason you don't often see people genderbending female characters to male anymore is bc of the spread of radfem ideology thru fandom spaces like wildfire. ppl genuinely lose their shit when ppl even have transmasc or trans man headcanons for characters assumedly cis female in the source material (which is genderbending btw. them being trans doesnt mean it isnt genderbending anymore you are still changing their gender thus it is genderbending thats the definition fellas) bc they fucking hate men and the idea of men existing
sorry not sorry but if you get mad at ppl who genderbend female characters into transmascs/trans men (transmascs aren't always genderbends, bc you can be transmasc and also a woman, but i digress/for the sake of brevity...) and go "you're TAKING AWAY a GOOD FEMALE CHARACTER!" i need you to stop for a second and consider why these people - most of whom are trans men/transmascs themselves - might be doing that to a character they like.
9/10 times when i see a cis genderbend of a male character to be female, the person doing it is a cis woman. when i see genderbends, of any kind, of a female character to be male or masc? it's almost always done by a trans man and/or a transmasc. and inevitably, they are almost always dogpiled for it with disgusting levels of hate. i've seen it happen so many times i stopped attempting to count a long time ago
don't come up here saying "you NEVER see-" because actually i see all of those things happen all the time. ppl love genderbending men characters into women, or emasculating/demasculinizing/feminizing them in order to make them personally more appealing, or saying "[mlm ship] would be better if it was two girls/wlw/two fem-aligned/etc" all the fucking time. and while i realize this is often a way for the people who say this to like, try to lash out at common misogynistic/lesbiphobic/transmisogynistic/etc sentiment irl, in doing so, they are not doing it in a way that allows for a nuanced understanding of their fellow fandom-goers. they make blanket sweeping statements and then dogpile people who disagree
the moment you start treating entire demographics of people as if they are a hivemind or a single identity, the moment you decide that something "never" happens bc you personally have not seen it? youve already lost any possible chance you mightve had at making a good point
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WIBTA for inviting my cousin to an LGBT meet up?
Cw: mentions of suicide and transphobia
I (18M) am a trans man and my cousin N (21F) is a lesbian who is very masc presenting. We're the only queer cousins in the family (at least in our generation) so weve always been good friends and shes been one of the biggest supporters of my transition, defended me from bigoted family members and always corrected family when they used my deadname/old pronouns. I lowkey hoped she would come out as a trans man or nonbinary as well. We dress in the same style which makes it so when were hanging out together one of us is gonna get misgendered since people asume both of us are trans men or masc girls. When N is the one being misgendered she doesnt bother fighting it since its more trouble than its worth but looking back i think it really annoyed her.
Earlier this year N was severely struggling with her mental health. I apologize for the wording i may have since i dont know the proper terminology for this stuff or any specific disorder diagnosis she may have (other than autism). She was having some sort of manic or depressive episode. She was dead set on pushing people away and making them hate her so she could take her own life without regrets.
I visited N once to give her my support during a struggling time but i stupidly told her there was nothing she could say that would push me away. She told me not to test her but i kept pushing it and i admit what happened next was my fault. She told me in a very cold voice that she was a terf, though that she didnt want me dead but that "we" (im guessing she meant trans ppl) made it so much harder for her to exist(???????). I didnt let her keep talking just and left her room, said my goodbyes to her family and just cried while driving home.
Im still not sure if she meant it or if it was part of her mental episode and just a way for her to hurt me and push me away. On one hand ig it explains some of her behavior? N sometimes complained when she got asked for her pronouns or being misgendered like I mentioned before. On the other hand, I gen do not believe she has been a terf all along esp with how supportive shes been of me. If she was a terf youd think she would try to subtly talk me out of it, but that has never happened. My friends have nicknamed her schrodinger's terf lol
Anyway, i went no contact with N for a few months for my own wellbeing. During this time i heard that she tried to kill herself a few times, which got her into a mental hospital. She was given higher doses of meds and seems to be doing way better.
We had a family reunion this week and i decided to approach her. N seemed a little hesitant to talk to me but stayed polite. I tried testing her and talked about the effects T has been having on me but she acted like she always had and congratulated me and even complimented me on how deep my voice has gotten. I wasnt satisfied cause i wanted an apology for what she had said to me so i pushed it more. She did end up apologzing but it was a very surface level apology. At this point i didnt want to keep pushing in case it set her off again so i just took her apology (plus i wanted my best cousin back) and spent the rest of the day hanging out with her.
On the way home my mom said she was happy me and N had made up and that i should invite her to the lgbt club meetings Ive been going to this year. It seemed like a good idea to me, she lost a few friends during her episode and she could make more queer friends here. If N is trans and just in denial it could help her get the resources she needs to feel comfortable coning out. If N IS a terf maybe having more positive interactions with trans ppl could change her mind on it. Overall i thought it would be a win for her.
I brought it up to my friends and some of them blew up at me. Their argument was that itd be exposing the other trans ppl in the group to a terf and putting them in danger. I truly hadnt considered this angle so im kinda conflicted now. She had never felt like an unsafe person before and now that her episode is over she feels normal again. Even if she is a terf i dont think she could actually cause harm? I want N to get better but i dont want to put my trans friends at risk.
So tumblr, WIBTA for inviting N to my lgbt meet up?
What are these acronyms?
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ello ello ello!
been re-reading ng for so many times that im going insaine HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-so! my nerdy side decided to write some things for now ?also I noticed the lack of comments on most posts? I would reallllly like for nerdy side of tumbler to join me on this journey :)
drum roles please may I present:
overanalysing everything in ng till I die or it ends (hopefully the former happens first cuz I cant imagin it ending)
spoilers and all that but I mean does anyone have chapters left? good for em ig lol
NUMBER 1: Harry's sudden ability to sense magic
we are first introduced to it when V blinds harry, after showing him the stars and the sky (im pretty sure V is a astrophile at this point) and harry feels Narcissa’s magic ‘’…felt…indigo, It was a subtle shift, a gentle one. apprehensive and…concerned. ‘’
and so it begins! harry is able to sesnse no only magic from there but recognize emotions through it as well. And his newfound ability is something omnipresent that helps both us-the reader- and harry himself to understand more.
let the quastions begin:
1-when did this magic lens come to be?
At first I though it was becuse of the new eyes V gives him and was something intended, but NO! story tells us that the blindness was a temporary result of the red eyes. basied on Narcissa’s comment on harry’s eyes. ‘’…they were just like your mother’s ’’ his eyes were indeed red, even while he was blind. (we also saw it from Vs eyes)
however…did his eyes transform to red the secend he was blinded? or did this happen -inbetwen/the same time- as one of the gifts ? As Narcissa’s first reaction to harry opening his eyes seemed like an over reaction to me if his eyes weren’t bloodied, and only difference was a red iris instead of a green one?
but but but ! while it came to be the same time as the whole blind era, that dosent seem to be the only factor here since its quite obvious that Lord Voldemort himself doesn’t have that power… 2- so if its somehow related to the eyes, why tf doesnt Voldemort have that power??? while I can bring hundreds of references, its crystal clear that V can’t sesnse shit like harry does, like how he can’t find him when has closed his eyes + under the invisibility cloak and many other times which im to lazy to go and find rn lol.
but honestly why tf dosen’t V have it? its quite the mystery!
while it removed the need for glasses and gave harry perfect vision, there hasn’t been anything mentioned bout a super vision? no being able to see extra details ? nought nil nada nothing?? and most ppl have perfect vision TR included???
‘’do you have any idea the intricare nature of what I did to blind you, and what I had to do to impart on you superior sight? Your corrected vision is a gift ‘’
why would tom riddle go through a very complex ritual just to have…like 0.5 point more vision? with nothing additional ? no extra sensing magic free on the house? thats kinda odd…
thats all for now? please tell me what you think and pen my lord dont you answer with that side eye emoji XD
side note worth mentioning here: so we know V couldn't change his eyes, even with harry’s soul. And we all know what he promised harry in case he tapped into their connection without permission…GIVING HARRY HIS EYES BACK WHICH HE CAN’T!!!…ehem so something somthing something? EHEM assassination? or elixir overdose? leads to something something which makes V tap into that to save harry? so many possibilities AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ps: this did not help me calm down, I really need a calming drought with extra rosemary rn
Also tumbler fucked all my italica and bolds but ehhhhh idk imagin them on your own XD
Love u as always obi pen <3
👀
okay but instead of answering anything, I will add a point to consider: Harry sees/perceives/feels magic better with his eyes closed
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Hey just wanted to say about the most recent comic, I hope you dont feel bad or shame about it!! Its very lovely and I will personally fight anyone who says otherwise.
hehe ty,,,,,, this ask has been on my mind for a while tbh. it makes me feel so nice <3 so here's some sketches, new and old!!!!!!!!! ill throw it all under a cut so ppl dont drown in all the pics. enjoy anon!!!!!!! (sketch dump the squeakquel!!!!!!!!!!!!)
i made these like 3 weeks ago but i only really posted a cropped version w/ just the giant kallamr squid , featuring @aychama and @paintpaintpaintman lambs :D
i've been sitting on them bc i wasnt entirely sure about how everyone felt about each other, and while i still am not I feel like everyone likes each other at least!!!
i also wanted to draw people's lambs reliving a bunch of my childhood memories, but i felt the idea wouldn't be accepted because i don't know how many people would related to em. these sketches are new since all i had was a jpeg of thumbnails, but they are @paintpaintpaintman , @spiderin-space , and my lambs!! the first pic is just them enjoying some honeysuckles, trying to buy some candy at the weekend market, and visiting kids in better looking neighborhoods than they lived in AHHSASHHSA i dont think i care to complete this but it is really fun drawing the lambs being lambs.
a sketch of heket nd leshy i appearantly NEVER posted because i wasnt happy with how leshy turned out. a shame, really.
i also wanted to draw all the cultists in different outfits, but it turns out i really was not interested in finishing it at the time. i do think valefar and narinder turned out kinda cute tho !!!!!!!
some motherfuckers WAY too happy to see a corpse (i still think its hilarious when my whole cult gathers around a corpse and makes googoo eyes at it what is their problem LMAOOOOO)
i ended up changing how i draw the 3 wives so the wifestack is no longer relevant (also there's 2 more that werent existing when this was drawn) but i still look at it sometimes. i think we should stack every wife on top of each other.
and the last one is part of me figuring out how i wanted the lamb. ive always known i wanted them JACKED i just cant decide how ripped i want this lil bastard. i think the current lamb is a good fit for me personally.
anyway that's doodlestack jr,,,,,,,,,,,,, SORRY FOR THE PINGS TO EVERYONE I PINGED I LOVE U GUYS LMFAO <33333333333 and everyone else CHECK OUT EVERYONE I PINGED THEY ALL MAKE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING CONTENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#this was my last ask so im done for now!!#i didnt have many and the others ive gotten i decided to delete for various reasons#I HOPE YALL ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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hey, sorry idk if its ok for me to ask for advice here, but im really lost and dont know where else to go.
i might be starting testosterone really soon, (via informed consent) but i keep flipping back and forth on whether or not i'm sure i want it. some days i think, "yes 100% im a man i want T right now" and thinking abt the effects of T makes me euphoric. other days i think, "wait AM i sure tho? what if it turns out i hate it actually" and thinking abt the effects of T on those days makes me anxious and ambivalent.
i think it might be just a fear of change, but i'm not sure, and i'm worried about making a decision i'll regret forever. it doesnt help i keep seeing ppl say things like "you need to be 100% sure you want hrt before u start because going back and forth puts a huge strain on the body" etc, but i dont know if i ever will be 100% sure.
what do you make of this? do i really need to be 100% sure? am i rushing in too fast? or is this just anxiety talking?
i spent years agonizing over if i was really sure that i wanted to start t, and you know what it taught me?
no one is ever 100% sure about anything. it’s an impossible task. that’s just not how people work — you’re always going to find more things to be anxious or unsure about when you think about it because it’s an unknown thing and it’s completely natural to be at least a little unsure of unknown things.
and most of the time, nobody expects you to be 100% sure about big decisions because we all know it’s an unfair expectation. nobody told me i couldn’t go to college because i wasn’t 100% sure where i wanted to go. nobody tells you to never drive anywhere because you’re not 100% sure that the car won’t crash. accepting risk is a part of life. trusting ourselves to make the best decisions we can — and trusting ourselves to be able to handle whatever happens next — is an unavoidable part of life.
the only reason we’re held to that impossible standard of 100% certainty when it comes to medically transitioning is because people are transphobic and they want us to second guess ourselves and put off hormones or surgery out of fear. if everyone waited until they were 100% sure, no one would ever transition, and that’s exactly what they want.
i look at it like this: hormones are like any other medication. you take them because you decide they have a good shot at making your life better even though there’s also a chance they might be ineffective, have bad side effects, or even make things worse in the end. we accept that risk every time we take a medication because we weigh the options and decide the good that could come of them is worth that risk. imagine if doctors only offered medical care to people when they were 100% sure it would work and not have any side effects — they would never do anything at all!
i can’t tell you if hrt is right for you. i can’t tell you if the risk is worth it for you. what i can tell you is that, when i was unsure about what to do, there were two things that made me decide it was worth the risk:
the first is that i knew i wanted to give myself a chance. the idea of going on hormones only to get more dysphoria from it sounded terrifying, but the reality was that i was already living with dysphoria! and the idea of just accepting that because i was afraid to try the thing that could make it better was even more terrifying. at the end of the day, i decided it was better to choose the option that could make things better than it was to just spend the rest of my life wondering if it would’ve helped. the worst case scenario in both choices is dysphoria, so i figured, why not pick the option where the best case scenario is euphoria? i know dysphoria is something i can live with because i’ve been doing it for years, so i felt that i could trust myself to be able to deal with that outcome if it came. i knew it was possible that i would regret it and wish i had never started t, but i also knew i would regret it even more if i went my whole life never having given myself a chance at something better than the dysphoria i already live with. i figured, if i have to take a risk, why not take the one that excites me instead of the one i would just be taking out of fear?
the second is that hormones are fucking slow. there can be some changes that happen fast but for the most part, the changes on t take time to happen fully, and if i wanted even more time i knew i could take a lower dose to slow things down further. it’s not like you just wake up one day with a totally different body — it’s a process, and if at any point in that process you realize you don’t like what’s happening, you can stop! you’re completely in control; the second it starts to feel like it’s making something worse instead of better, you can decide to stop taking it. even with the changes that came quickest for me, i had time to assess as they started happening, and it would’ve been as simple as putting down the syringe and never using it again if i decided i didn’t want those changes to continue.
(and the people who say you can’t start and stop because of the strain on your body are exaggerating — i had to start and stop multiple times because i was having allergic reactions to all of the serums we tried, and i was totally fine. that was never even a concern my nurse brought up to me. i’m sure it’s not ideal to do that constantly, but i don’t think it’s a big thing you have to worry about.)
again, i can’t tell you if starting t is the right move for you. all of this is just how i made that decision for myself; i can’t make yours for you. what i can tell you is that you are more than capable of making a thoughtful and informed decision without being 100% sure. certainty is not a requirement.
and frankly, anyone who tells you they were 100% sure when they made that decision is either lying about it because they feel like they should’ve been totally certain, or they were in a position to make the decision so quickly that it didn’t leave time to mull things over and find things to be unsure of.
which leads me to my final point: if you’re thinking about it this hard and trying to be this meticulous about making the right decision, you’re absolutely not rushing into it. whatever decision you make, you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it and that’s all anyone can ask of you.
this is your decision, not anyone else’s, and already you have everything you need to make the best decision you possibly can. trust yourself to choose wisely, and trust yourself to be able to handle whatever your choice brings. you got this.
#this ended up much longer than i intended but i have a lot to say about it bc i was in the same place a couple years ago#ask answered#trans men#transmascs#hrt#testosterone
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I watch some of Watcher's stuff, tell me whatever you want about Shane Madej!
HOUGHHHH. OHHRHFHTHABK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOY
i think a lot of people who are aware of Shane sort of just think of him as the skeptic guy on bfu/ghost files (not saying that’s u obv just a lot of ppl bc I guess I need this to be a pitch meeting) and I think that is a shame because HOLY SHIT HES SO TALENTED AND COOL AND WEIRD AND THE SHIT HE MAKES IS SO FUCKIKNG INSANELY GOOD
Ok so going back in time for a second to b*zzfeed. Who btw did not deserve this guy. Afaik he had two major like, creative projects on there. Ruining History and The Hot Daga. Both were very good. ruining history was a fun history show he did with Sara and Ryan and there are rotating guests every episode. Shane is very interested in history, very good at teaching history, and i think in an alternate universe hes a beloved high school history teacher. Ruining History is the father of puppet history. B*zzfeed canned it and i miss it every day. and then there’s the other father of Puppet History, Hot Daga. Hot Daga is insane. I love Hot Daga, its not for everyone, but I think its so good. The lore goes crazy, he produced and made original songs for it, he animated the whole final half season by himself which is fuckinf insane. He made a ballad for it and actually i need everyone reading this to Listen to “believe me maizey” and then directly after listen to the Meteor Ballad from Puppet History. OH LOOK A SEGWAY
Puppet history is so fuckinf good. Its So Good. And especially in later seasons since hes doing so much you really start to see his improvement as an artist and its just. Its incredible. Some of the somgs are genuinely fucking masterpieces, like some of my favs are The Flower Boat Song, Asmodeus, The Horse and God song, the Emu song, Big Pile Of Diamonds, Infinitiger, The Window Song, Gay Oars Duet, Hologram Professor Song, and the Meteor’s Ballad. And more. Uhh OH the Olympic Torch is really good too. His lyrics are so smart and fun and his vocals are so impressive and he has such good range, he duetted Himself for the Oar song and managed to make the two voices identifiable as separate characters without being over the top. The lyrics range from poetic anf beautiful to weird and funny often within the Same song! Its just so good and he starts so good and gradually over the years he’s done the show you can see him getting more comfortable and better at music which is crazy causw again HE STARTED OFF GOOD! HE WAS INSANE IN HOT DAGA AND HE IS SOMEHOW EVEN BETTER IN PUPPET HISTORY LIKE! and and and ok here’s where I get crazy and a little parasocial (lol not really i am misusing that word for the bit LOL)
Something about all his work is that you can kind of see how his art depicts the world. In Hot Daga you get the line “what else can you do in the face of such monumental loss, but breath a weary sigh as the world is a little quieter now.” And in Puppet history you get uh actually you get like 20 things from the meteor song but one of my favorite parts is (read blue as the professor, orange as the meteor, pink as both) “some shit’s just etched into the stars, calamities you cant outrun/and when sweet earth we finally meet/the sky will burn and boil the sea/as mountains rend/its you and me.” i think both these lyrics and these somgs demonstrate a maturity about the world that you dont really see in a lot of people, his general kindness towards anything and everything and his ability to change perspectives on things without being forceful. (On a personal note I listened to The Meteor song after someone I knew passed, and as dumb as it maybe sounds the idea that like,, death is not cruel, you can’t always run and sometimes the best thing you can do is be there with the people you love as the world ends.) and also I think that you really can tell that he views the people he’s telling you about as People and not just like, figures. Ykwim. He shows such genuine respect and care for everyone in these stories and I’ve already like briefly in these stories but like, you KNOW if a guy can make me cry for the Meteor that killed the dinosaurs then he’s something special. i also think the way he portrays death in his work is very comforting as a whole. and another thing speakinf of rhat is that he has so much respect for other cultures in a level I think that goes beyond just bare minimum not being a piece of shit. Like especially when he’s teaching history, an example that always sticks out to me is how much effort he put into making sure people remembered and thought about Hatshepsut by having a whole episode on her history then also making an EXTREMELY (probably intentionally so though i cant be sure bc I can’t reas minds) catchy song that Told you to think of Hatshepsut and explained Why uou should think of Hatshepsut and it’s been stuck in my head ever since I first heard it years ago. Also I’m consistently impressed by his good pronunciation of things, I remember in the Tunguska event episode of mystery files there were so many ppl from tbe area he was talking about shocked by how good his pronunciation was. And ive seen that so many times w him like, idk i just think thats very cool. He’s a genuinely really mature and respectful guy I think. Wise too. So much of his work has educated me, changed my worldview for the better, inspired me. Like He’s so talented ik i keep saying that but HE IS!
Like ok so. He can write both songs and stories beautifully. he’s wise as fuck and could probably be a philosopher. He can make puppets (and just tbc later season puppet history the puppets are not him, but in the early seasons afaik they were all him, so he is definitely skilled at that.), he can sing, he can voice act, his graphics and editing are off the charts, he’s educated and smart, hes funny. He’s so fuckinf cool.
also again getting parasocial here but I just really like how much of a zest for life the guy seems to have. And Honestly im impressed that he worked in retail, had actual trash thrown in his face by an angry customer (true story) and still came out it like “man the world sure is wonderful!”. What a guy. And He’s so fucking weird and interesting and I could seriously just listen to him rant about Literally anything Forever. Anything. It doesnt matter I think he could talk about anything in a way that would make me invested in it and i’d come out of it more educated than before with a fresh new perspective on life.
This is getting Essay-like so here are some other Random Shane Things I know to close me out I guess
-he loves community was in the community fandom and has a crush on troy barnes
-he wants to be a mouse
-he’s lived 7000 years
-
-was DB cooper
-makes a fine ass Krampus
-actually the coolest guy alive
sorry this is almost 100% incomprehensible thank you for letting my autism loose tho
#ask tag#shane madej#Um. Yeah. Hhahaha so when insaid I had autism about rhis guy uh Inwasnt kidding#we are watcher#puppet history#hot daga
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omgg im so obsessed with your jackass oc’s. i dont have a specific headcanon request but could you write more about a main cast girl?
yesssss yes !! & thank u sm that means the world <3 i have many more ideas and am gonna post actual headcanons and stuff but for now take this very random and very specific shit
her nickname is pissbaby. i have said it before but i must say it again so everyone is aware. she got it growing up and tbh there isn’t a real reason for it other than the fact that she has pissed herself a few times
went to the met gala with knox (was def invited before he was tho)
braids pontius’ hair a lot. does his hair in general. she’s good with hair styling nd even cuts her own
was the one to receive the off road tattoo
is always paired with knox (and tremaine sometimes) for press shit
has a lot of modeling/movie offers but tbh she just wants to skate and do stunts and travel and hang out with her guys
ik i said she cant cook but i changed my mind. cooking is lowkey her love language. she’s a vegetarian but doesn’t mind cooking meat if someone wants it. a long day filming? invites everyone over and cooks for them.
doesnt cook for herself tho. the queen of struggle meals. buys a lot of cereal
also always let’s ppl crash at her place. pontius is there a lot cuz the whole living in his van situation. he and steve were in her (iconic) cribz ep
present for most of the wildboyz trips even if she didn’t appear in the episode. she loves animals and traveling and learning about other cultures so it was like heaven for her
CRAZY stupid .. like, almost as bad as knoxville. she somehow was able to get in the bullpen and it scared the shit out of everyone (especially steve o)
honestly she doesn’t like fucking with animals and doesn’t wanna do anything to hurt them. she feels bad for certain things they do and regrets stressing them out
and she can be really sweet, but with animals? she is practically a different person. she turns into such a softie
has a few doggies. all rescues and with disabilities because she gets sad when people don’t want them
probably closest to the wildboyz, especially pontius. but knox too, and dunn <3
super fond of preston too. he’s so sweet and she can’t help but adore him
ppl swear either chris or pj is her soulmate (myself included nd i cant decide who pls help me)
always down for skate sessions
is sponsored by powell peralta (and is kinda at war with bam because he thinks his element sponsorship is better)
very fashionable. an it girl. (again, i picture her as devon aoki)
super scrappy and will fight a grown man
she knows how to fall because she’s a skater but she also has gotten some GNARLY injuries. usually to her head. always has bruises
knows first aid and she isn’t a medic obv but she has been SUPER helpful in certain situations
literally unable to drive, and yet, she drove for part of the gumball rally .. she managed to genuinely scare the guys. she doesn’t have her license for a reason.
one of those ppl who genuinely does not need deodorant but unfortunately the smell of jackass clings to her
has a lot of girl friends. she is a girl supremacist. we don’t blame her.
she can be really mean sometimes but most of it is on accident. she just doesn’t have a filter. the guys don’t really care tho, she fits in
ska music enthusiast. and a deadhead
so she doesn’t puke and doesn’t get grossed out HOWEVER she refuses to take part in that yucky shit. hell no. that’s what crosses the line.
once the guys collected a cup of their mixed sweat and poured it on her and she has never been so mad. like, she gets mad, she has a temper, but she lost her shit in a way that she never has before. made them turn off the camera. knoxville was the one to pour it—no one else was brave enough. tremaine was even on the fence about it. she ended up breaking knox’s nose. he was a good sport about it. they didn’t fuck with her in that way ever again
she can be kinda mean but it’s usually on accident cuz she has no filter. but for the most part the guys don’t give a fuck and it’s funny
interviewers and paps can be really really rude and sexist and the guys can’t help but get pissed and say stuff because they love her. BUT they also know that no one is better at defending her than she is. don’t fuck with her. ever. she will practically end someone’s career. she does not give a shit
#shit i write#my ocs#pissbaby#jackass#wildboyz#jackass fics#jackass oc#jackass fic#jackass x reader#jackass headcanons#jackass fluff#bam margera#johnny knoxville#chris pontius#ryan dunn#dave england#steve o#danger ehren#preston lacy#wee man
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https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/754179646302617600/httpswwwtumblrcomdearweirdme7541625461493596?source=share
The issue is, everyone that has a strong bias, has the same perception about their bias. They always think that "they don't care as much about my bias". You can ask Jimin biased and they will say the same thing. And they can also point out reasons for their statement, like the fact that he had very few appearances and a short promotional time. Yoi can check the tl right now and they are crying about everything.
The conclusion that ppl that has a strong bias reaches is always the same - only ppl that bias that member care about them and all the rest either doesn't do anything or just the bare minimum. You can find this repeated everywhere, just changing the member name.
Are they all right?
At some extent they are. People will always prioritize their own bias, simply because it's usually who they like the songs better and will naturally listen to them more.
Also, maknae line (not vocal line) has more fans than hyung line (for multiple reasons, which also influences individual success) so they have bigger numbers. Which has very little to do about how mainstream some music genre are. Hip hop is literally the most popular style in the US, however, rapline numbers dont reflect that and people keep using the same excuses. Also, pre-release numbers are not related to music genre/quality because we didn't even listen to the song before, so we have no idea how it sounds like (just an idea from the media release which will never influence someone's decision on buying or not). It's just a popularity/buying power measurement.
The thing about Jm in particularly, at least from what I noticed, is that pjms are extremely organized and focused, and many ot7 big accs are also Jm biased and they work really hard for him.
I don't think that my bias receives the same attention as some of the members from the fandom or the company, but honestly? It's his problem to deal with. He's chosen to stay in the company and I dont think he will leave. He's smart and he knows how the industry works. He's building a name and has enough money to quit whenever he wants to, so I'm definitely not worried about him. I will not cry and throw up because army dont love him as much as the next member and fight strangers on twt/tumblr, and I believe that no one should. It's not worth nd it's part of the textbook manipulation that kpop uses.
Hi anon!
I think a problem many are having is that solo era feels as though army is falling apart. We’re used to be a force that gets things done, and now people feel betrayed.. because things are different from when BTS are together.
I don’t think being a solo is wrong as long as you don’t spread hate to the other members. I think it’s a natural development as a result of solo era. I can imagine new fans of Jk because of Golden (as an example) but who have never experienced BTS don’t really feel attached to the other members (yet). Army is changing, I think that is what’s happening. I mostly wish the hate dor other members would go away.. they don’t deserve that and they wouldn’t want that.
Tae is my bias, but I wouldn’t say I feel any sort of competition for him to do better than other members. I know Tae will do well with whatever he sets his mind to. He’s smart, he’s talented, he has vision, and he’s extremely likable. Do I think BH is shit to him, yes. I also think BH has been shit to other members. I just mostly think BH is shit. I can honestly say that I support all members equally. I might talk about Tae and Jk mostly on here, but I listen to all of their music, I mostly watch BTS footage of all of them together, I watch all their solo content (if I have time.. I can’t even say I’ve seen all Tae’s interviews I think..). I think what I’m mostly missing in fandom is the wish for members other than a person’s bias to do well.
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just curious - why post in a ship tag complaining about the ship? you knew people were going to be upset regardless that you did that but also isn’t it…unnecessary? like, at the end of the day, fanfiction and ships are fiction for a reason. sometimes it’s fun to imagine the impossible and to imagine au’s - and to hate an entire fandom for it seems excessive and quite frankly, rude. i’m not saying dramione is the end all be all bc yeah, some characterizations are so ooc that it’s just like why bother. other times it’s like wow this is really good, but these things can also be related to any other fandoms.
idk, i mean we are all entitled to our own opinion, of course. i guess it just rubbed me wrong way that you’d post something shitting on a ship you so clearly hate and posting it in said fandom.
its not just about "let ppl have their own ships and opinions" it's about hating on the canon and making up their own ships and characters just bcs they didn't like the original one. i totally get whatever jkr said upset a lot of ppl and that's absolutely normal and right thing to do and im not here to defend her or something. i usually separate the art from the artist bcs harry potter always had a special place in my place and i have always loved the canon. i think the hate on canon characters and ships started more after jkr transphobic jokes. ppl are romanticizing toxic characters and toxic ships to go against jkr and i have seen these in so many fanfics. they mainly do it to show that they do not care about the canon or they are against it but they still wanna like it somehow.
saying how some characters should've done this or that in the canon is absolutely bullshit. obv the characters had no idea this will be consequences. nobody is perfect but isn't that what makes a series relatable in some way? every characters had flaws and every character resembled somebody from our daily lives. hating on the canon characters to just make your fav character look like a saint is hypocrisy.
the main reason why the percy jackson fandom is less toxic than hp is bcs they like their author and we don't and they accept their canon the way it is bcs they like their author. i get y'all don't like jkr and neither do i but i dont go out of my way to change the canon bcs i just don't like her.
these new ships and characters are scaring new fans away from canon bcs some of y'all convinced them that fanon is somehow 'better" and when these so called "fans" come on here to share opinions that they've based off of the misinformation they've been fed, they will be unprepared to handle any kind of backlash they may face except their usual "let ppl have their own ships" or "its just fanfiction"
also i use the tags bcs i want ppl to know the misinformation they've been fed by the new genz fandom and how they think shipping random characters don't affect anyone but in reality, it does. i mean literally see how many ppl have been influenced by meneclad and how they think dramione is endgame and how jkr wasted their potential. they never even had any real chemistry in the canon so there was nothing to wasted on.
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SU reclaimed pearl rambles
im gonna use some annoying comments i got on my reclaimed pearl as a springboard for what i think could be interesting discussion because i think its good to engage with criticism/different opinions. but also if you talk to me like an asshole i want you to fuck off and i promised i wouldnt engage in that kind of stuff bc its not good for me and it doesnt Look good for me either.
so i can talk about my thoughts but not engage directly, win win. its been months but im still really fond of the pearl i made specially this art. like it coudl be better but i like it well enough. just a little header so this isnt a boring post with only text
i think like, its good to establish ground rules that like, i think most of the poor reactions ive seen towards my art were missing, mostly in bad faith probably but in case theres ppl who earnestly want to understand. actually maybe i can format it like a little FAQ even though theyre not frequent or asked lskdjg just for outlining my points. ill put it behind a cut but ill frontline w this: if youre a fan of pearl in the show, this content is not for you. youre allowed to like whatever you want and so am i. if you like her, we probably wont get along and you probably will feel very personally irritated by how i FEEL about her, so just walk away now. im not gonna engage with petty shit taht juts boils down to 'im mad you dont like what i like'
onwards to more rambling / sorta responding to some criticism
i scrolled back and i guess i sorta never have actually done a proper full explanation post about this AU have i? or maybe i have and deleted it, i forgor
why did you change pearl?
because i hate her, simple as. i went from a huge SU fan to hating watching it (i did finish) and pearl is probably The biggest reason why, as like issues with her character seep into other aspects of the show that i also hate. like i mean i Realyl hate her. she makes the experience of watching the show really irritating and miserable for me. if you dont feel taht way about her thats totally normal and whatever but no one is gonna change my experience and feelings that i had watching SU since the 1st season was coming out.; anyway answering. there is a Lot i love about SU and want to engage with, so i had the idea of like,maybe ill just change pearl, cause i wanted to delete her, really, but she is one of the main characters and she hasa function as a character that you cant just do away with. essentially im just like, some guy, who draws, coping and trying to reclaim his teenage investimetn in this show. literally its just for ME. but if anyone else feels like i do, then they can enjoy it too. if somoene doesnt feel like i do, go watch like pearl fancams or smth. like ill never be able to literlaly change the show as it is, like its happened, and its a tragedy im trying to move on from (begrudgingly)
why do you hate pearl?
the long laundry list of reasons are probably apparent in the ways i remade her lol (theyre not i can tell ppl are gonna project whatever worst bad faith reason for any change i make) but tbh the core of it is this, which is like, beyond whatever traits she has and whatever: she reminds me of my abusers. always had, from season 1, but like it became worse as the series went on. its like really infurating and upsetting to watch SU bc of her. had my abusers been a different kind of person, maybe i wouldnt hate her so much (kinda doubt tbh). like her personality and behavior are like hough disgosting!!
why did you change (some physical trait about her design)?
i dont really necessarily have a PROBLEM with canon pearls design. over the years ive come to like SU's style less and less but like, gestures, whatever. like i didnt like it or anything but its not like a bit deal compared to the actual offender that is her personality and behavior. the reason i redesigned her at all is bc like, if i hadnt, i would still be thinking about the way she is in canon all the time. like ive visually associated her like, appearance with all the shit about her thta makes me upset so i had to so she didnt look like the same person anymore, and i can try to let go of some of the hatred in my heart. like i want to think about the thigns about SU that i loved and also the potential i always saw in it and canon pearl is like, an active obstacle to that, to the point taht i cant even see her without getting like irked. i tried to keep enough similar traits so from a glance youd be like, who the fuck- is that pearl? rather than like. completely change her entirely to whatever i wanted. i do want to like, its a creative exercise. i want to try and change the things that would make me happy to see gone but try to work within the constraints of the SU we Did get as much as i can tolerate. bc like.... if the sky was the limit then at this poin wed just have to throw the whole thing away and start from scratch. like its kinda not really very salvageable, like im not rewirting SU to be like a Good show or fix Everything, its kinda too broken. im just chnaging enough so i can look at the actual show, screenshots, songs etc, and not feel overcome wtih like the grief and irriatation of how much it sucked ass. its just so i can enjoy more of it again
i dont like your redesign for (insert reason)
cool. thanks for your input. youre welcome! eat my asshole. seriously though, like, shrugs. i didnt make it for anyone other than myself. tbh im not fully satisfied with it either bc i think the SU style is kinda ugly, so im at a crossroads. should i mostly abandon the SU style? ive like, tested out tweaking things, it mightve been noticeable in screenshot redraws. drawing within the SU style is to create that coping 'oh it was totally like this haha' vibe but maybe im old enough to not need that anymore lol. like ive heard ppl say shit like shes ugly, or like sneakily trying to imply im like, got some agenda over beauty or racism etc. like whatever, think whatever you want, its not for you. go back to sucking up to rebecca or smth like i cant take the og pearl away from you still i am open for like that kind of criticism like, do i have personal biases affecting my design decisions? probably. i do try to keep aware of why im choosing certain things, but really in this case i cant emphasize enough how like, irritating it is that i have to change her design at all. like its hard to come up w smth else when the rest of the cast ahs already been design to balance off the og pearl. i probably wouldnt change almost anything if the sight of her didnt piss me the fuck off! most of all i kinda wouldve preferred to keep her hair short bc it messes up the sillouete but it makes me think too much of canon pearl so i made it long :/ i was like let me tell you my design thought process: -im gonna try to keep as many recognizable traits about her design while taking away bit by bit until she doesnt look like the og pearl to me anymore and i dont feel angry seeing her. pearl is lanky, tall, spindly, with a gem on the forehead, blue white pink yellow pastel colors, large pointed nose. i kinda tried to keep these traits while slightly tweaking their design until she looked different enough. is it a good design? eh idk. like the purpose is to make me not hate her and it does that job
now this hate comment im gonna grace with keeping it intact except removing the person bc its not about them. its like, a very stupid ass headed comment but im actually kind of interested in like,jumping off of it to ponder some things
im not heterosexual or cis enough to know what exactly wife bate means in this context so im gonna like guess, that maybe i could extract this q from that reply (also not looking like shes from steven universe is a compliment thanks)
you took away her personality and made her boring
the only thing i can assume is that like, some people must interpret the absence of an assholey personality or like abusive behavior is 'boring'. i know thats a really bad faith assumption but like, if ive written down a bunch of personality traits and you still come out saying thats 'no personality' what am i to make of that lol. based on my experience like Existing online, people tend to often call nice characters 'boring', like dude ive done it before, but i think im kinda over that edgy phase. also again, its for me and not for you so if you think shes boring, thanks for your input i dont care. but thinkign about it earnestly, i dfeintely dont want to make a character thats just no flaw and not interesting ofc, i havent done that with reclaimed pearl. that being said i havent like, probably written a lot demonstrating what i want her to be like instead of the canon pearl so, maybe ppl just are feeling lost with the lack of information.
personally, if i hear someone thinks a character is boring bc theyre not abusive anymore like, nothing of value has been lost. but characters do need flaws in order to create conflict and cause things to happen, like in a way canon pearl is like All flaw, which wouldnt be a problem except she gets away wtih all the horrible shit she did. heres some traits i want to explore with reclaimed pearl, some are similar to canon i just wanna go about it a different way: being overprotective/possessive to steven in a smothering way, projecting abandonment issues, not reaching out/communicating her emotions properly, lacking indepedence/self worth, depending on others to avoid confronting her own issues, being very passive and insecure and lacking initiative (this being the totally opposite trait that canon pearl has), stunting stevens development due to her not being ready for him to grow up and not need her anymore. and more, this is just from the top of my head. maybe thats still too 'boring' for ppl because shes not being selfish and inconsiderate enough to others so you can relate to her but i dont care :p
gosh how do i go about like, presenting the content i ahve in my head for this AU).. i cantjust remake the whole damn show. i would if i could, tbh
i have concerns about racist implications wrt (insert thing here about my redesign)
imma be frank. i dont know how to compltely 'clean up' any possible bad associations wrt pearl as a character given how like, rebecca has literally like, made her to be a slave in love with her slave owner and made it to be like, an uwu ideal lesbiab thing for most of the show until they tried to pretend no we understood the flaws in this dynamic all along and its bad actually , uhh, anyway shows over haha
ill say the main reason i changed her skintone is, bc that would be the like most instant way to make her look differnt from canon (which is vital for me for the reasons said above), and i did consider like, does this make the whole thing worse, or, ?? like, as they made it in the show, techincally All the gems are slaves to the diamonds, arent they? including all the very totally progressive poc based gems including and specially the ones who are made to be understood as black women. bruh like idk what to tell you this show is just fuckig bad sdlgkj like its just way too like, pervasive in my teen years forme to throw the baby w the bathwater entirely. and ill just straight up say it, like, im not a specialist on these topics nor do i hav ea position of authority to speak on about it. like the pearls read more clearly as slaves (very intentionally by the showrunners) bc they are meant to be subservient to gems Other than diamonds. and also bc they like fit in the stereotype of housemaid servant. like the rubies being made to just be forced to go and fight like they are slaves too, they have no rights and no like, authority to disobey or autonomy. but fsr like, slavery as in physical labor just doesnt immeidately set off ppls alarms as much as housework slavery does fsr.
i can only rly like change the canon so much and try to like, tweak things so it doesn feel as gross but i think for it to be cmpletely not insneistive at all youd have to throw away the whole show. and like i said, this isnt like me saying like im making the show good or as it shouldve been, im making it so I (and ppl who share my feelings about the show) can feel less shitty just thinking back to it. its just an exercise. im not like mass media im just one independent artist and shit will come out insensitve sometimes and im sorry but im also like, my art isnt meant to be representative and like, responsiuble for fixing all of society and racism like i actually cant do that. ill just do the best i can as an asian dude but like, if my work makes you upset, im sorry, but also just block me. like i cant please everyone. or like, even better, make YOUR take on pearl taht you feel would be better, like make the art you feel should exist.
this post is too damn long and id be surprised if anyone reads all of it but if you do, tahnk you! i felt kinda like ready to fight tonight so im triyng to redirect it from aggression to like, thinking. i cant guarantee im making new content for su reclaimed anytime soon but i would really like to, tbh
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mwah your art is good and nice :>
can I ask for some advice? no worries if u don't want to answer.
do you have any tips on how exactly to practice art? everytime I ask for art advice everyone always says "practice" but idk what to practice first! do you have any strategies for learning how to draw something? do you do excercises? and if so how do they work?and are there any beginner mistakes I should look out for and change specifically?
thank you so much!! have a wonderful week :>
thank you so much! im ok w answering! i dont want to speak as if i am an expert on how to draw things in general as i am learning as well and definitely am not completely learned, so i might not be the best person to ask since im not very professional w my art as I do it as a hobby (and I can only speak on mostly digital cartoon matters) but i reallly hope to try and help u out even a lil ! im really happy that you’re eager to draw :] I wish you so much luck muwah muwah
i also hated when ppl told me “just practice” and i dont wanna inflict tht on u EITHER LOL but also thats just what i ended up doing for awhile but i tried to find some things to help ^_^
tips for practice: My number one rule is that practices should be challenging but still fun, I know it can get frustrating trying to redraw a pose over and over trying to get it perfect. And over time it rlly is all about muscle memory, the longer you draw the more your eyes will pick out specific shapes in everyday life and convert them into its own vision of them! or at least its good to look at life that way, try to pin point key shapes and stress less on details in practices. after you look at key points, THEN you can go over what you have and draw in and over it to make it more “complete.” To stop practices from getting too stressful I recommend starting out drawing what you want a little more simple looking than ur desired finished product. This helps eliminate the pressure of everything not looking “perfect” and keeps your art more loose and fun. Doing this a few times is gonna get ur brain to recognize patterns in art and how things look/flow in anatomy and such. dont get stuck in ur own head abt perfecting everything to the point you either 1) give up bc ur not at a level capable of it being 100% “perfect” or 2) focus so much on making it perfect that you end up saying the work looks “wonky” or stale in dynamics, So while I do think studies help, don’t get too lost in them. I always practice with media I enjoy too, whether it’s characters or fashion I enjoy.
Strategies learning to draw something: people get mad abt this one but I think tracing reference photos is great. its been awhile but When I tried learning to draw hands better at first I would trace them then put the traced image to the side of the canvas, then try and replicate what my mind saw as its most important angles and aspects. Same for clothing folds/hair/etc! I think it’s maybe not the best idea to trace the ref and use the tracings as is, because you learn more from tracing it then trying to replicate and simplify what u learned into the style you’re working in. Find what shapes you like from them and don’t over detail it. you may have to go by eye and think “what parts of this ref photo should i simplify to fit my style” and for me, its usually adjusting the length of the torso and then the limbs by associations. i dont recommend feeling like u need a reference for every art you make though, its ok to let ur own head try out its own sometimes too while trying to learn this, see if it remembers any call bad from the past referenced sketches! over time ull remember where everything goes more, these days i rarely kick myself to use refs but im sure they still would help to use, but figure drawing simple blobby figure in a bunch of random poses was a big thing i used to do as well to get better at full body art + overall dynamics (still does this). also paying attention to silhouettes is great
Exercises and how they work: I WANNA HELP U SO BAD BUT to be honest, all the works on my blog ARE exercises! i rarely actually do finished pieces, if u scroll thru my posts ull notice most r sketches. i usually just fill up a page and call it “warm ups” then i get attached to some of them, take a few, and just line them up pleasingly on a smaller page, then color them in (or sometimes fix the lines to be more clean too). im not rlly a person who “exercises” to practice, it more so happens from just me drawing a lot for fun as a hobby! but i really should. i will tell u this has humbled me a lil i need to start practicing too 😭 LOL but a good exercise is to look at what ur inspirations do, and study it. Make a collage and write out what you like most abt their styles/what u want to gain from them. For ref Here’s a page I did awhile ago when someone asked me abt my insps:
i also look at fashion magazines and as well as anime figures and take insps from that sometimes with learning cool poses and compositions to convert into my own things
Beginner mistakes to look out for: its hard for me to pin point “mistakes” beginners make, as sometimes we cant avoid all of them or even notice them, progress comes from growing out of old ways. some mistakes are even the foundation of ur future amazing cool style! but i think some things to look out for could be these, from my own old art experiences
Hands were the first thing I learned bc i liked drawing them. I don’t know if that is the best way to go but I think it is smart to practice sooner than later, here is a lil guide thingggyyy wingyyy from awhle ago
i see beginners shy away from drawing signs of age in people, sometimes adding too much detail on an older person in cartoon art makes it look weird, so i try and hit the key markings on ppls faces of age.
Too thin of lines. sometimes its a stylistic choice to use thin lineart, and it can look amazing ! but sometimes it can flatten an image if ur not familiar with its flow. im not saying use thick line art, but more so to keep in mind the weight of ur strokes, adding depth with a thick thin combo of line art can do SO much for the simplest of pieces. heres a visual from a while back when i talked abt my brush + more abt lines:
but if ur desired style is thin lineart that is cool too! tbh it was just harder for me as a beginner
sometimes artists think they need to do full lineart for everything and then hate how it looks compared to the sketch, do not fear i will introduce u to my bff: painting over a sketch, extractinging the lines, then calling it line art. i only do this sometimes but its a fun exercise-ish thing to do in a pinch. example:
finding what shading fits ur art. sometimes ill see ppl starting out who have a style thats very simple, but they use a very detailed rendering process on it. this is not something id ever police of course, art is each persons own choice! And it CAN work. It can be so cute! but sometimes mixing two very contrasting mediums of art can throw off the “put together” look of it. i use to abuse the airbrush tool thinking it made my simple style look super cool and detailed, but looking back on it now those pieces looked a little off, having such a simple style have somewhat more realistic shading. dont get me wrong the ability i see ppl use rendering like that is so insanely talented! but i found cellshading to be a good match for cartoony art like my own. a tip i learned way too late abt that is rather than shading each layer by color picking a darker color, instead use a clipping mask over the entire art (above line art too as I color my lineart) and lasso tool the areas u want shaded + fill it w a saturated purple then set to multiply + lower opacity. also, sometimes coloring can come out chalky looking when u meant for it to be smooth and transitional, i think this comes from overshading and overlighting pieces without reason. pay attention to where the light source is, and focus on making the shaded and lighter areas nice shapes that cover the necessary areas, then u can add additional shading to the smaller details of what should have a casted shadow/light
its good to spice up ur art now rather than later, focusing making ur art pop more w backgrounds will help ur coloring skills look better too! i dont mean detailed huge backgrounds, a small lil color pallet and design rather than a blank white bg. like this will make u feel better abt it or at least it helped me *sweats* yeah:
beginners tend to draw blank faces like “:)” but I think a good thing to do is try and get silly with expressions early on. It’s okay if the mouth hangs off the face cartoonishly with joy or shock, it’s ok if the eyebrows are super high in surprise.
tracing and pasting it as is (already said this but I’ve seen ppl do it a lot with hair styles and it makes it look alienated from the rest of the style) (final fantasy fans found critically injured) n if need a ref for a pose, using a real humans anatomy as-is doesn’t look quite right on a cartoonyish drawing. Shortening torso and legs usually comes out of this for me!
flip ur canvas i promise u it’ll be less embarrassing over time!
using guidelines for perspective and foreshortening is GREAT. Do it stylistically rather than realistically to add some groove to it...yay. Having silly perspective in art can make it look like a 10 so easily opposed to a normal front facing sketch. Look at cool poses from fashion magazines! Don’t be scared to draw something you don’t feel confident in conveying perfectly, this is why progress redraws exist :)
Drawing the hairline b4 u draw the hair is great, it helps u understand where their hair flows from, where it starts and stops, AND prepares u for drawing bald ppl. Also don’t make the head too big, the skull IS bigger up top, but sometimes I see an alien head affect.
Anatomy is an interesting mistake that beginners make a lot, but it’s one they find harder to notice! When I started out, all my art would be SO wonky, but I didn’t even realize it! It still happens today too! specifically though I see beginners struggle with the arms in this department. My advice is to try and measure them out and make sure they don’t go past the knees, and are the same length as each other when Unfolded. asking for criticism is hard but it helped me realize when i would make something bigger/longer than it should have been in my art, and stuck with me being able to go “oh... i see it LOL”
clothing wrinkles- do not over do it! Too many wrinkles and shading can look unpleasant and wirey- like a plastic table cloth all bunched up which isn’t exactly what ppl wear. pay attention to gravity too
I hope this helped even a lil im sorry tht I’m not very good at explaining or didn’t have much to sayyy! If u have any troubles no guarantee I’ll have the answer, but ur always free to ask!
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Utahime and Maki!!! Hiii <3
hi circe <333
utahime:
favorite thing about them: i love how fun she is. she has to behave in front of her superiors but away from them shes so passionate and loud and the contrast is really funny to me. and i love the fact that she gets so smug when bad things happen to people she doesnt like lol shes so funny
least favorite thing about them: idk maybe the fact she works/allies herself with gakuganji? but idrc about it THAT much cuz it seems to me shes just doing what she has to to get a say in what goes on in kyoto tech. OH actually i dont like that shes into anti aging makeup.... utahime dw about that ur so hot already....
favorite line:
"I GET TO DRINK ALCOHOOOOL 🎵" (168.5)
brOTP: uhh idk ig i like the dynamic between her and her students :)) her teaching style is very different and focuses on working together and they also love her a lot, and she clearly cares about each of them so <33 enough to cheer them on even if only one of them is playing (phanpara illustration my beloved...🫶) im a sucker for when the adults care about the kids
OTP: SHOKOHIMEEEEEE 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶
nOTP: her with any jjk man. they all suck and are gross and she doesnt gaf about any of them god bless
random headcanon: shokos the one to heal up her scar.... she used to lord over the fact she was taller than shoko and got bitter that shoko ended up growing taller than her... doesnt like yuki that much i think because shes annoying... beef with kusakabe
unpopular opinion: hate it when ppl say she has motherly instincts. shes not boring or annoying. SHE DOES NOT LIKE GOJO !!!! IN ANY WAY !!!! and i cant believe this is unpopular 😔... but shes a lesbian
song i associate with them: Aaware Bhawren by Hema Sardesai and Malaysia Vasudevan, and NIGHT DANCER by imase
favorite picture of them: <33
maki:
favorite thing about them: her role as an older sister and her relationship with mai, the fact that her motivation was for mai but mai assumed the whole time she had been abandoned... </3 this and her post shibuya design
least favorite thing about them: that shes friends with yuuta. she can find better friends
favorite line:
Naoya: "Don't you have a human heart?"
Maki: "No... It was taken from me." (150)
"Sorry... would you repeat that?" (151)
brOTP: i love the idea of the dynamic between her and yuuji, both being the physically strongest of their group and how they might bond over that. and ofc maki and mai </3
OTP: nobamaki <33 the way nobara was so immediately infatuated with her and maki always going so soft around her... how they would navigate their relationship post shibuya with all the changes, with mai and nobara's friends gone, with all their new scars... </3
nOTP: i hate yutamaki. and all the proship garbage. and also her pairing with any dude
random headcanon: she and mai met megumi as kids and she disliked megumi initially and was distrustful of most strangers and ppl within the clan. even when learned megumi wasnt really a zenin she still thought he was hoity toity. this impression dissolved when she got to know him and now she messes with him all the time for being prissy
song i associate with them: I Guess by Mitski, Usseewa by Ado, and I Liked You Through The Veil by yuragi
favorite picture of them:
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