#the gang solves the bathroom problem

[charmac]

Mac McDonald - "Gay"

[angrymac]

[thetrolltolls]

dee in s13e6 my beloved

[thetastefulcrucifixparty]

underrated wholesome iasip moment is dennis getting sad when mac and dee refuse to go to the jimmy buffett concert, and then the rest of the gang staying back out of solidarity

[spaghetti-l0v3r]

someone: what’s your gender?

me: thank you so much for asking, it’s actually

[taniushka12]

just found out one of my sites to watch movies has iasip updated with spanish subs FUCK Yeah

[fatmaclover]

shes so pretty ngl. sorry. i know i talked about how i didnt find charlie attractive and that is true. i dont. i do find joyce attractive however. sorry. transgenderism finds a way. anyway look at her <33

[a-nice-egg-offering]

“Those parrothead Broads are wild”

“Yeah I noticed that they’re nuts”

How did u notice that Dee 🤨

[strangersteddierthings]

Platonic Stobin bodyswap AU idea I'll never write. This has been in my drafts for over a year (since July 2023 per the timestamp)

Post season 3; During the season 3 bathroom confession scene Robin came out to Steve, and Steve came out to her. She knows he's bi, and she's the only one who knows. Swap starts off slowly for Steve and Robin. Little moments of vertigo where the world doesn't look right for a few seconds, that progresses to black out periods of time spanning 5-15 minutes. It's them switching bodies but it's so traumatizing (they are FREAKING out) that they don't remember it. So, it's like they're just losing moments in time, which still freaks them out.

Then one day they wake up and they're... each other. And they just don't go back.

And Steve can't really pass as Robin to her parents but thankfully they just blame it on 'moody teenage angst' and "you can talk to us about anything babygirl we love you so much and we're here when you need us." Which. Yeah, Steve cries about. But it also comes with the side of GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I HAVE TO FINISH HIGH SCHOOL AGAIN??? I CAN'T PLAY THE TRUMPET ROBIN YOU HAVE TO DROP OUT OF BAND

And Robin also cannot pass as Steve at first, but she gets to see how that matters exactly 0% because the Harrington's don't even notice. They also aren't around near as much as Steve makes them out to be. But she does get to enjoy the freedom of a legal drivers license and no job currently. HOWEVER she has walked Steve's pretty face into several doors/poles/walls because cute girls keep looking at her with hunger in their eyes and she doesn't know how to handle this.

(It makes more girls interested in a suddenly shy, stumbling, nervous Steve because those girls think they're the reason Confident Sex God Steve turns into a mess but really it's just Robin not knowing how to exist in a world where woman want her and fish fear her (sorry bad joke))

Anyway, queue shenanigannary for a bit. Steve encourages Robin to go on dates because why not get some practice in while they wait to swap back again? (he's holding out hope)

Do they have the awkward discussion of 'what are the limits to what I'm allowed to do in your body????? I dunno yet.

Anyway, Robin goes on dates. ((Does she end up going on a date with Vickie? Canonically Vickie's got no problem dating older boys? How to solve this plot line for when(if?) they switch back bodies? IDK dudes, that's Future Jess's issue.))

At some point, the gang finds out. Probably Dustin realizing Steve isn't as Steve-like as usual. He'd sniff out something was wrong with his brother for sure.

But then season 4 starts. Robin taught Steve how to play the trumpet back in August/Sept and it's then they realize that they kind of share their knowledge? Like... Steve picks up how to play the trumpet EASY. At first they think it's just Robin's body using muscle memory but then Robin realizes she knows things only Steve should.

Anyway, Steve is in band with Vickie the night of the Championshipgame, chatting easily while also trying to hint that 'Hey, I think Steve Harrington is checking you out???" while trying to tell Robin with telepathy (that they don't have... yet? Decide if they end up with telepathy later) to try and subtly check out Vickie. But neither girl is subtle so they both just whip around to stare at each other and Steve is facepalming.

NO WAIT. DO I MAKE CHANGES TO THE NARRATIVE BECAUSE IF STEVE IS IN HIGH SCHOOL AGAIN, THERE IS NO WAY HE'D LET DUSTIN AND MIKE SKIP OUT ON THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. Maybe??? Will decide on this point later. Until then, above points stay.

Anyway, Chrissy still dies (sorry) and Eddie's still on the run, but like this time in the boathouse, Robin invites Eddie to stay at 'his' big empty house 'cause the parents are gone and Robin has no hangups about Eddie like Steve did in canon (he is the first person we hear call Eddie The Freak).

The end point here is that Robin, Steve, and Eddie spend A LOT of time together at Steve's house and then the angst falls in because Steve starts to fall in love with Eddie.

So, he has a breakdown in a bathroom with Robin about it, all sad and crying like "I really fuckin' like him Robs, but I can't- there- we can't-"

"I need you to take a breath and tell me what the issue is," Robin says.

"I like him Robs, but this is your body. I can't take things from you. Like your first kiss. And I certainly can't- I won't put your body through... you know. I can't do that to you."

And it takes Robin a moment to process what he means. Romantic entanglements that Steve might want to have would have to happen with her body. And maybe Robin isn't sure what to say/do because the thought of a guy and his dick anywhere near her body immediately freaks her out but... she's not in her body. She's in Steves, and has been doing things with girls in it. It never occurred to her that Steve might want to get hot and heavy with a guy in her body and maybe she's got something to unpack there???

Anyway, no time to worry about that. Vecna's gonna kill Max so they gotta go. Also, Eddie does NOT know about the body swap.

She does tell Steve to kiss Eddie, though, in the end. When they're not sure they'll live. So, Eddie calls out to Steve. "Make him pay." So, to Eddie, it looks like Steve gives him a nod and it's Robin who marches up, grabs his face, and plants one on him. Robin(Steve) doesn't stick around long enough for Eddie to kiss back (Steve wants him to because he wants a proper kiss from Eddie, but he also doesn't want him to because Eddie thinks he's kissing Robin and if he kisses back it means he likes Robin, not Steve, so Steve doesn't lock lips long enough find out).

Something something they all survive and then Eddie, hopped up on pain meds in the hospital, demands to speak to Robin. So, Steve slinks in, afraid of what's going to happen, and Eddie's like 'Robin. I appreciate that you like me but you are unfortunately a girl and I am not into that.' And Steve is like!!! my time!! It's come!!! I HAVE to get back to my body.

And then at some point they switch back. Maybe El doing some mind fuckery? Idk.

And for fun, here's the beginning of the fic that idea written out:

"Whoa," Steve blinks rapidly as the world tilts and shifts. It's very sudden, and over just as quickly as it started, but it still leaves Steve unanchored for a moment. It was probably brought on by the concussion he's been nursing these last two days, since the whole Starcourt shit. He leans sideways to try and use the wall as an anchor until everything feel right again.

He should, probably, be more concerned about this because this has been like, the fourth time this has happened and when he told Robin about it, she confessed it was happening to her, too. That Owens guy had told them there could be unknown side effects to whatever the fuck they'd been injected with and this might just be part of that. It'll fade, Steve's sure, as the days go on. Never mind that it has been happening more lately. It's going to fade. It has to.

Except, it doesn't. The sensation of be unanchored gets worse, and now it comes accompanied with loss of time. Steve will feel the tilt and shift while standing in the doorway to his room and the next thing he knows he's got a hand on his front door, keys in his hand, and doesn't know where he was trying to go.

Ring Ring

Steve shakes his head, shakes away the feeling of wrongness and goes to answer the phone. "Harrington residence, Steve speaking."

"Steve! Steve, it's getting worse!" Robin's voice sobs at him from the other end of the phone. "I-I was in the kitchen and then I was, like, huddled in the bathroom and I don't remember going there."

"Fuck, me too. I just came to standing at my front door, about to leave but I don't remember getting there, or where I was planning to go," Steve confesses back. It's strange, how easily Robin has become a part of his life. He was expecting her to not want to be withing five miles of him ever again, after what he got her dragged into, but it seems Robin isn't scared away. Perhaps it's just that he's the only other person she knows who went through Russian torture. Even if that is the case, Steve'll take it. He likes Robin a lot.

"Should we... call Dr. Owens?" Robin sounds so small when she asks.

"I don't want to," Steve confesses but doesn't elaborate. Calling Dr. Owens means admitting that something is wrong wrong. Steve doesn't want anything to be that wrong. He wants to get back to his life. He's got to get back to job searching, too, and Dr. Owens might deny him that.

[your-mums-nuts]

‘the gang solves the bathroom problem’ is the episode ever for a few reasons.

> Confirmed that the gang believes in trans rights! There’s no sly comments or “but it can be confusing…” Dee doesn’t hesitate to say trans women are real women!

> Frank apparently bought the gang tickets to see buffet. They’re all excited to see it together. They coordinated outfits!

> Everyone’s nice to Mac this episode despite him breaking their laptop (for the fourth time) because he wanted to make a sign full of genitalia. They’re all used to eachother at this point lmao

> Everyone is super chill with Charlie identifying as a woman (however brief)

> “You stupid twink!” “I’m a bear! I’m a bear!”

> Dee makes stupid piss and poo jokes and everyone tolerates it.

> I love when Mac and Dee team up.

> Dennis, Charlie and Frank freak out when they think Mac and Dee aren’t going to the concert. Frank says there’s no point in going if they’re not all going to go.

[dennisboobs]

13x06 // The Gang Solves the Bathroom Problem

↳ Dennis + reacting to Joyce Kelly

[rollingsins]

all hers, part xiv

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv | part v | part vi | part vii | part viii | part ix | part x | part xi | part xii | part xiii | part xiv | part xv | part xvi | part xvii | part xviii | part xix | part xx | part xxi | part xxii | part xxiii | part xxiv | part xxv | part xxvi | epilogue

summary: The scooby-gang formulate a plot to stop Ghostface in his tracks. Tara and R deal with the aftermath of the attack.

warnings: (+18), Tara is Ghostface, smut, 18+. pussy-eating, vaginal fingering, face-sitting, rim jobs, mention of anal sex.

word count: 3.5k

a/n: 👀 smut delivered as per popular request. as always, thanks so much for your support - let me know what you want to see next!

The morning passes in a blur. 

Tara is glued to your side throughout, scouring the hallways and the backs of classrooms like Ghostface might pop out at any second. 

In a combination of her morning vigilance and lack of sleep, her eyes are red and watery by lunchtime. 

You sit together in the cafeteria, her head resting against your shoulder, her eyes drooping slightly. Her food is left untouched. 

“What’s wrong with her?” Liv asks as she settles down into the seat opposite you. 

You press a protective hand to the top of Tara’s head, thread your fingers through her dark hair. 

“She didn’t sleep well, that’s all.” You say.

“I wouldn’t sleep well either if my girlfriend was being hunted by Ghostface,” Chad says without thinking, his mouth full. 

Liv smacks him. If Tara hears his comment, she doesn’t react, just nestles in a little closer, determined to use your shoulder as a pillow. 

“Why don’t we go home?” You say, rubbing her back, “My parents will be out, they’ll never know we skipped.”

“No.” Tara says, sleepy voice roused suddenly, “Us home alone in the middle of the day? That’s the perfect time for Ghostface to attack.” 

“It is.” Mindy agrees, scooting into the spot next to Chad, “Although, I wouldn’t get too comfortable here, either.” She gestures behind her, “Ghostface attacked Sidney Prescott in the middle of the day in that bathroom like twenty-something years ago.” 

You glare as Tara sits up, suddenly wide awake. 

“Can you not say things like that?” You hiss, “She’s already freaked out enough.” 

“She should be.” Mindy says, “And so should you. This isn’t the time to get comfortable. We need to figure out who Ghostface is and what they want with you.” 

“I know who it is,” Tara says, “It’s Richie, my sister’s freak of a boyfriend.” 

“We don’t know that,” You say. You glare at Mindy, a little. Now she’d set Tara off there was no hearing the end of it. 

Mindy ignores you, her interest piqued. 

“Tell me more about him.” 

“He’s a deadbeat,” Tara says, a little too enthusiastically, “Went to college but he works at a bowling alley. Plays video-games all day in his tighty-whities.”

Mindy scrunches her nose, “A little too much information, Tara.” 

“None of this started until he moved in with us,” Tara insists. 

“What about motive?” Mindy asks, eyebrows scrunched like she’s trying to solve a particularly difficult math problem. 

“I’ve not exactly been the most… welcoming host,” Tara says with a shrug, “Maybe he’s got thin skin.” 

This is a pointless exercise. You know the motive, and so does Tara. Mindy is quite literally taking a stab in the dark. You touch Tara’s face, just under her tired eyes. 

“We’ll call the Sheriff after school. See if Richie’s story about driving to the restaurant is true,” You say, hoping it’ll be enough to satiate her, “But can we not rule out other people? It could be anyone, babe.” 

“She’s right,” Mindy says, taking a bite of her salad, “It could be anyone. That’s the only rule in Woodsboro.” 

Tara purses her lips, but she doesn’t argue. Leaning back into you, like she’s just remembered her fatigue. You press your lips to her forehead. 

“If you won’t come home, let’s go to the library.” You press, rubbing the back of her neck, “There’s always tons of people there. You can nap and I’ll keep watch.” 

“We’ll come too,” Chad pipes up, his mouth half full of pizza, “I hate Chemistry anyway. Besides, we’re a team right? That masked coward isn’t taking anymore of us.” 

Mindy and Liv nod in agreement.

It’s an odd sort of setup but it works. 

The librarian isn’t paid enough to care that the five of you should be in class, so you scoot right past her to a small breakout area near the back of the library. 

You take the couch, let Tara stretch out and lay her head in your lap. Chad and Liv sit opposite, Mindy on an armchair, back against the wall so she can keep watch. Tara only agrees to sleep after making the four of you swear black and blue you’ll wake her at the first sign of trouble.

You hand curls around the taser in your pocket, ready to whip it out at any sudden movement. Tara, seemingly secure, falls asleep within minutes. She’s so sweet when she’s sleeping, fingers curled tight around your hand, eyes fluttered shut, her mouth slightly open. You brush her hair out of her eyes, rub her cheek soothingly. 

Liv watches you, catches your eye as you look over at her. 

“I’ve been thinking,” She says, a little slowly, like she’s trying to be careful with her words, “Ghostface is going to keep coming after you, right? He doesn’t often let a victim escape.” 

You stare. 

“Yeah. Thanks for reminding me, Liv.” 

“No,” She shakes her head, like you’re misunderstanding, “What I mean is, we don’t know who he is. And if he’s going to keep coming for you anyway - maybe there’s something we can do to stop him. Unmask him.” 

“You want to trap him?” You ask, chewing your lip. 

Liv nods, enthusiastically. She looks to Chad for his backup. He looks a little hesitant.  

“I don’t know Liv..” 

“Babe. Come on.” Liv insists. She tugs at his hand, “They’re our friends, we can’t just let Ghostface come for them.” 

“We’re not.” Chad says, gesturing around, “Why do you think we’re all in the library watching Tara sleep? For fun?” He raises his voice a little too high. You shush him, press your hand against Tara’s head, trying to muffle the sounds of their voices. She doesn’t move, still deep in her much-needed sleep. 

“It’s not a bad idea,” Mindy says, slowly, “I mean, the biggest advantage he has is that you don’t know who he is. If we can identify him, it’s all over.” 

Liv nods, enthusiastically. 

“We could lure him into a trap. Unmask him. And then you’ll both be safe.” 

You bite your lip. It sounds risky, sure, but no riskier than your situation already is. Liv’s right: Ghostface isn’t likely to stop coming after you. 

“We’ll see what Tara thinks when she wakes up.” You say, rub her back, ever so slightly. 

A little while goes by. Chad and Liv hold hands, quietly chat. Mindy watches the door. You watch Tara, content with the steady sounds of her breathing. 

And then that second coffee you’d had in the morning comes around for payback. 

You look around the library, biting your lip. The last thing you want to do is leave Tara. But you don’t want to wake her either. You’ll leave her with Chad and Mindy, take Liv for security. You’re in the process of trying to shuffle Tara’s head off your lap without waking her when a voice stops you. 

“Don’t even think about it,” Mindy says, not looking up from her phone. 

“Huh?” You say

Mindy shoots you a look. 

“You’re thinking about going off somewhere by yourself. To get food, or to pee. Don’t even think about it.” 

“I wasn’t going to go alone,” You assure, your back up a little, “I was going to ask Liv to come with me.” 

Mindy snorts. 

“My point exactly. And what sort of help do you suppose Liv is going to give you if Ghostface attacks? Other than being a meat shield?”

“Hey!” Liv pipes up. Mindy ignores her. 

“Fine,” You say, “You come with me then.” You press your hand to Tara’s head, “Please. She needs to sleep, I don’t want to wake her.” 

“Absolutely not,” Mindy says, her attention back on her phone, “No offense, but I don’t want to be responsible for you. I’d rather fight Ghostface himself than Tara if something were to go wrong. Besides-” 

She sits up, eyes glinting, “How do you know I’m not Ghostface?” 

“Because if you were Ghostface you would have agreed to go with her,” Tara says, voice groggy as she stirs in your lap. 

You shoot Mindy a look, try to press Tara back down into your lap. 

“Baby,” You soothe her, “It’s okay, go back to sleep.”

She stirs, sitting up in your lap, a yawn on her lips, “It’s fine, I’m up now. Where do you want to go?” 

-

The five of you leave the Library together, reconvening in the girls bathroom. You feel like you’re the President or something, four bodyguards by your side, marching you down the hallways, ready to take on anyone who crosses paths with you. 

Chad and Mindy agree to keep watch outside the door while Tara and Liv accompany you into the bathroom. 

Liv immediately finds the mirror, desperate to apply her lipstick of all things. You could make a snide comment about her gussying herself up for Ghostface but you need to pee far too bad to bother. Tara hovers at the cubicle stall, her hand pressed against the door. 

“You okay, babe?” She asks, for the fourth time since you’d sat down, “I don’t hear anything.” 

You didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be to go under these conditions. Half of you wishes she’d waited outside. 

“I’m fine, Tara,” You assure, “Can you back up a bit? I don’t want you to hear me pee.” 

“Oh, I totally get that,” You hear Liv’s voice from the mirror, “There’s nothing romantic about hearing your significant other pee. I don’t even let Chad fart in front of me. If he needs to, he has to go outside.” 

Tara huffs. You squint your eyes, trying to force it. Leaving Liv and Tara in an enclosed space is suddenly less appealing than Tara hearing you pee.  

“I’ll run the facet, babe.” Tara says, stepping away. 

Then, you hear the door open, hear Mindy’s voice. 

“What’s taking so long in here?” She asks, “We’re skipping classes, remember? Not a great look if a teacher catches us roaming the halls.” 

“Since when do you care about not being in class?” Tara asks. 

The door opens again. 

“Chad, this is the girls bathroom.” Liv says, sounding scandalized, “Get out.” 

“No way. I’m not standing out there by myself,” Chad says. He shuts the door behind him, “There’s a psycho running around.”

He pauses. 

“What’s taking so long? Is she pooping?”

“Okay, everybody out.” You declare, loudly, “I can’t pee if you’re all here.” 

They grumble, but file out one by one. Tara doesn't move, you can see her sneakers under the stall door. 

“Babe, you too.” 

She doesn’t want to, you can tell by the way she hesitates. 

“Babe. Please.” 

She relents. 

“All right,” She says, “I’ll be right outside. Use your whistle if you need anything. I’ll be back in a minute.” 

You hear the door close behind her and sigh with relief. 

-

You don’t get attacked mid-pee, perhaps the greatest victory of the day. 

You spend the rest of the afternoon holed up in the library with Tara and her friends, waiting for an attack that never comes. You swear Mindy is a little disappointed when she drives off with Chad and Liv in tow, promising the five of you would come up with a game plan for the Ghostface trap tomorrow in school. 

When you and Tara get home, she’s still a little on edge. 

“Let’s have an early night,” You suggest after your shower, curling her hand around yours as you lead her to your bedroom, “You need to get some sleep.”

But she doesn’t fall asleep, even after promising she would. 

She tosses and turns in your arms, sitting up abruptly at any sudden noise. Her heartbeat wild, erratic. She’s unsettled. She’s scared. Even with the handgun at your side. 

“Baby,” You groan as she sits up again suddenly, leaning over you to double check the gun is loaded, “Please. You need to sleep.” 

“I’m trying,” She says, “I hate this. I feel like he’s going to burst through the window at any moment and if I’m asleep-”

“I’ll be awake,” You finish, pull her back down into you, “And I’ll wake you straight away. Like I promised.” 

“What if you fall asleep?” She asks, chewing her lip. 

“I won’t babe, I promise.” You say. You rub her bare thighs, try to calm her down. 

“You need to relax.” 

You kiss her softly, a thought occurring at the way her hands grip tight on your t-shirt. You tug her a little closer, dip down to squeeze her ass. 

“And I think I know something that will calm you down.” 

She murmurs something inaudible as you lean down to kiss her neck, tightening your grip on her hips. It works like a charm. You feel her physically relax against you, threading her fingers through your hair as you trail your lips over her collarbone. 

You swipe your tongue across her neck, tease her gently with your lips and tongue until she’s sighing, grinding her hips into yours. It isn’t hard to pry her out of her nightshirt, underwear soon to follow. She’s equally concerned with getting you naked, the thrill that shoots through you at her naked body on yours never getting old. 

Then she’s pulling away, a dangerous look in her eyes. 

“You know what would relax me?” She says, eyes sparkling, “If you let me do that thing I’ve been wanting to do.” 

That thing involves Tara sticking her strap-on somewhere it definitely didn’t belong. Your stomach flips at the thought. 

“Nice try.” You say, press a kiss to her lips, “You know the deal. You can do it to me if I can do it to you. You first.” 

She pouts, cups your sex with her hand. 

“Not even a finger?” She says, voice coy. 

You shake your head. 

“What about my tongue?”

You consider it. 

It turns you on, the fact that she wants it so badly. You’ll let her have it eventually, you’d let her do almost anything to you. But you want her to earn it. You want to make it all the more special when she finally gets it. 

“Tongue is fine. Outside only.” 

She leans down and kisses you, eyes filling with excitement. 

“Yes, Ma’am.” She murmurs before she’s slipping down your body to pull your thighs over her shoulders, looking like a kid in a candy store. 

Her lips are hot against your inner thighs, hands gripping around your thighs as she pulls you closer to her. She works you up just right, nipping and licking and sucking at your thighs, pressing warm kisses to the inside of your knees. You moan under her as her lips find your folds, lapping leisurely at the syrup that is the fruits of her labor. 

“Baby,” You groan as she diverts back to your thighs, “Don’t tease.” 

She’s a sucker for you, you know by the way she relents within moments. Her tongue runs over your clit gently, then down to lap at your entrance. You gasp. Her fingers tighten around your thighs as she moves back up and takes your clit between her lips, sucking hard. 

You writhe underneath her, embarrassingly close to cumming before she’s trailing her lips down, disappointment flooding through you as she releases your clit. 

And then you feel her tongue there. 

You can help the low groan that slips out of your mouth. 

It feels dirty, taboo. Exciting. 

It feels different.

She trails her tongue around the rim, then she’s lapping at your asshole like there’s no tomorrow. Her fingers slip inside your pussy, she curls her fingers upwards creating the strangest and most pleasant sensation. 

You sigh, grip your own breasts in your hands as she works her magic, tilting just to the edge - so close. 

And then stops. 

You almost cry out of frustration. 

She kisses her way back up your stomach to your mouth, slipping her fingers out. They’re sticky, warm against your hips as she squeezes you. 

And then you feel her drop them down lower. Fingertips skirting gently against your asshole. 

The look in her eyes is animalistic. 

“Let me put them in,” She almost begs, her voice desperate, needy, “Please baby, I want your ass so bad. I just want to be inside you.” 

You reach down for her hand, redirect her fingers and slip them knuckle deep inside your pussy. 

“There,” You say, cheeky smile on your face, “Now you’re inside me.”

“I hate you,” She mumbles, but kisses you all the same, curls her fingers only slightly. You gasp, tilt your hips up to meet her fingers. 

It only takes a few hard thrusts before you’re groaning, tightening around her fingers. Eyes closed, body thrumming as your orgasm overtakes you. She kisses you through it, holds you tight as you come down. 

When your heartbeat has slowed, she’s still pressing kisses to your chest. You feel her against your thigh, sticky and wet. Desire floods through you once again. 

“Come up here,” You murmur, tilting her hips up to you. 

She gets the message quickly, skirts up your body until her thighs are either side of your head. You grip her hips, pull her down to meet your mouth. She’s wet, so wet, you don’t even need to tease her. 

You wrap your hands around her thighs, wanting to be encompassed by her. Lips finding her wet heat immediately. You lick her folds once, clean her up a little before trailing your tongue to her entrance, letting her tight pussy encompass your tongue. She rides you a little, before you lick your way up to her clit and lovingly work her into an orgasm. 

Her smell, her taste is perfect. You could do this forever. Have her sit upon your face and make her moan and gasp the way she is right now. She’s given up all pretense of trying to hold herself upright, her full weight atop you. Your fingernails dig into the milky skin of her thighs, trying to keep her in place as you suck her. In only minutes, she’s groaning, rewarding your efforts with an orgasm and a fresh wave of cum drizzling into your open mouth. 

You’re a little disappointed when she climbs off you, slumping down to curl into your body. Sweat on her forehead, sticky, keeping her dark hair welded to it. You kiss her head. Murmur that you love her against her sticky skin. 

And then silence falls over the two of you, just enjoying each other’s post-coital company. All thought of Ghostface gone, just you and her, the way it should be. 

And then her phone starts to buzz. 

She reaches out, silences it. Presses her lips to your mouth, a little sleepy. 

“You think you’ll be able to sleep?” You ask, pressing another kiss to her forehead. She’s a little limp in your arms. You’ve worn her out. 

“I think so.” She says. She closes her eyes, rests her head against your shoulder. 

“Who is that?” You ask as her phone buzzes again. 

She reaches out for it, Sam’s name across the screen. 

She rejects the call, puts the phone back to the nightstand. 

“Babe,” You chide, “It could be important.” 

“It’s her telling me I need to come home,” Tara says, “She’s been calling all day.” 

“Answer it.” You kiss her, reach for her phone and drop it back into your hands, “I’m going to the bathroom.” 

“I’ll come with you.” She says, immediately, but you shake your head, reaching out for your shirt and pulling it over your head. 

“You know I can’t go when you’re there.” You say, kiss her once before you’re climbing off the bed.

“Take your whistle.” She says, and you roll your eyes, tugging it around your neck. You show it to her. 

“There. Got the whistle. Happy?”

“Ecstatic.” She says, deadpanned as she lifts her phone to her ear, “Don’t be long or I’m going to come looking for you.” 

You slip out of the bedroom, trail down the dark hall to the bathroom. Your Dad is asleep, you can hear his snoring through the walls. You flip on the bathroom light.

And then you feel it. Something’s wrong. It comes over you all at once. The hallway is empty - you checked - and you don’t hear anything. Nothing out of the ordinary. But you feel it. It seizes through your chest, instinctual. You raise your hands to the whistle, grip it between your fingertips, ready to blow it. Your heartbeat hammers. You tilt your head, all your senses coming alive. Trying to figure out if something is truly wrong or if you’re just imagining it. 

You don’t like it. You leave the bathroom, scurry back down the hallway to your bedroom. To your safety. To Tara. 

And then just as you’re about to press your hand to the doorknob, strong around grip around you, pulling you close. A hand over your mouth. The figure tugs you back down the hallway.  

You cry out, eyes wide, but the hand over your lips muffles the sound. Your Dad’s snoring doesn’t relent. 

“Stop struggling.” 

You recognize the voice immediately. It’s Richie. His breath is hot against your ear, sour, laced with booze. You cry out again, eyes bulging. Desperate for Tara, your Dad, your mom, anyone. But no one hears a sound. His grip on you is too tight. 

“I’m not going to hurt you. We’re going downstairs. Outside. So we can talk.” He drags you like you're a ragdoll. Rough. Impatient. Tears flood down your cheeks. You struggle hard against him but it’s no use. He’s too strong. 

“Stop it,” He hisses, arms strong, keeping you in place, “We can’t talk like this. We can’t talk if you scream.”

Next part

[someofitwastrue]

IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA

The Gang Solves The Bathroom Problem (13.06)

[somefanficrecomendations]

February Monthly Recap

I had a lot of fics this month. Every one of these deserves a dedicated post of its own but in the interest of efficiency this roundup will have to do!

BATMAN

Uptown Girl by orphan_account (Stephanie Brown/Cassandra Cain), 60k, Case Fic, Friends to Lovers Stephanie Brown has three problems: a supervillain father with a deadly scavenger hunt in the works, a mysterious rich girl who's way too interested in her life, and one really, really painful hobby. Alternatively: a different kind of Spoiler origin story.

The Lois Angle by cabezas_de_vaca (gen), 15k, Bruce & Lois Friendship, Case Fic What she had with Bruce was novel, exhilarating. She had fallen in love several times, and that was like a great swoop of a wing, a flash and flush and then long tumble, but this was like a warmth that welled up from within. This was Bruce grappling up to her thirtieth story Metropolis apartment, stowing the Batsuit in the bathroom, and watching StarTrek with her. This was her driving to the manor when she couldn't sleep, only to find she could do it there. This was having a friend. Or: Despite the long shadow Batman casts and the demands of being one of the youngest Pulitzer winners ever, Bruce and Lois manage to steady each other, in the way that only friends can. Also, there's a case they need to solve. 

the scientific method by orphan_account (gen), 20k, Sibling Bonding, Duke-centric 5 stupid ways Duke's siblings discovered how his powers worked, and 1 time he figured it out for himself. "You have no idea," Dick said. "I had to live through all of their teenage years. They were each independently obsessed with Mythbusters at separate points in their life. I'm pretty sure Cass and Tim have wanted a meta to experiment on since they were 14, but Bruce always said no."

Meet Me Where You're Going by Hinn_Raven (Stephanie Brown/Cassandra Cain), 68k, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining When things get complicated in Hong Kong, Cass requests help from Batman Inc. Unbeknownst to her, Bruce dispatches not one of her brothers, but Stephanie Brown, who Cass has not spoken to since she gave up the Batgirl mantle. Steph is eager to reunite with her best friend, but things between them are complicated. Not the least of the problems is the fact that Steph might be falling in love… but of course, Cass is straight, so Steph really shouldn’t dwell on that. Friendship and romance, conspiracy and adventure await the two of them as they try to unravel a complicated plot that seeks to stop Batman Incorporated before it can truly begin.

when you move, fall like a thunderbolt by orphan_account (Stephanie Brown/Cassandra Cain), 5k, Villain!Steph, Canon Divergence In another universe, Stephanie Brown's plans to kill her father aren't interrupted by Batman. Which means nobody stops her from tripping and falling headlong into running her own gang, and then a little more intentionally rising to the top of the underworld. Meanwhile, seeing as Bruce only has one kid who actually wants to carry on the good name, Cassandra Cain takes over as the Batman of Gotham's future. This would be a fine turn of events if it weren't for the fact that they've been dating on-and-off for ten years.

falling without caution by coffeecrowns (gen), 17k, Bad Parent!Bruce, PTSD Jason is twenty, decidedly less into murder, trying to avoid developing agoraphobia, and putting together some pieces into a life. Tim is sixteen, riding the edge of burnout, and in a show of his truly baffling survival instincts, decides Jason is friend shaped. 

MICE ON VENUS by NEOCULTUREDAUS (gen), 3k, Tim & Damian Bonding “Timothy, if this is revenge for me trying to kill you, I need you to know I’m not sorry.” Damian’s eyes were clamped shut, hands fisting Tim’s hoodie so tightly that if Tim tried moving, he simply wouldn't be able to. “I’m not trying to get revenge. And open your eyes, you can’t ride a skateboard with them closed.” Tim patronized, prying Damian’s hands off him, you know, like someone evil who didn’t care for the wellbeing of his younger brother. Or The one where skater Tim takes his artist younger brother graffiti painting

So Sweet Saluteth Me by Lishalalalalala (gen), 7k, Good Dad!Bruce Sleep deprived™ Jason hangs out with Dick then they surprise Bruce at work with early lunch and some love. This fic is inspired by farmers’ markets on those summery days and the belief that if I run fast enough the sad can never catch me. (I mean you are telling me that Bruce Thomas/Alan Wayne wouldn’t be absolutely BASKING in joy if his kids just decided to randomly show up at Wayne Enterprise and pay him a little midday visit? )

to count by miles or days or people (when will i stop missing you) by jcp_sob_rjl_lmep (gen), 22k, Angst, Hurt/Comfort When Duke is kidnapped off of the streets of Gotham on his way back to the Manor from visiting his parents, it sends the entire Batfamily into a panic. With very little evidence to go on and time slipping past them, there's no help coming as Duke is forced to make a grand escape and get himself home before his kidnappers find him once more.

birds and brothers and other assorted synonyms by Ao3time, hoebiwan, quandaries_and_contradictions (gen), 21k, Series, Found Family A Reverse Robin AU in which Damian is a tired older brother, Duke is a ray of sunshine, and Dick is a baby talon.

Emergency rooms and chicken nuggets by Lilac_hyacinth (Bernard Dowd/Tim Drake) 7k “So…” Duke drawled, sounding suspiciously wide-awake for the day shift kid at two-thirty in the morning. “If I said Damian and I are in a bit of trouble, on a scale of Jason to Cass, how likely are you to kill us?” Clearing his throat and rubbing his eyes to try to wake himself up, Tim grimaced. “What the fuck did you do?” “Nothing.” Or Tim and Bernard get out of bed at two in the morning to go across town and pick up Tim's reckless little brothers.

Pick a Pocket Full of Pennies by Trekkele (gen), 24k, Found Family, Fluff, AU-No Powers The life and times of Dick Grayson, unintentional ringleader to a gang of pickpockets, and how he learned to let go and get adopted. Or something. 

SPIDER-MAN

Death Before Inaction by hppjmxrgosg (gen), 37k, BAMF Peter Parker, WIP “Fuck off, Nicky.” “Hasn’t anyone ever told you spider-napping is illegal?” “You can’t hold me here, I know my spider-rights.” “God, you guys are so old. What are you? Like 27?” “Scale of 1 to 10, how upset would you be if I told you I banged your mom?” - Or, I got my grubby little hands on the spider-man time line and fucked around a little bit. Not much (everything) changes.

[astralbondpro]

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia // S13E06: The Gang Solves the Bathroom Problem

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

16x05 Celebrity Booze/16x07 The Gang Goes Bowling/13x06 The Gang Solves the Bathroom Problem/15x05 The Gang Goes to Ireland/15x06 The Gang’s Still in Ireland/15x08 The Gang Carries a Corpse Up A Mountain

Can we stick with the one thing? What’s one word to describe us? What’s one word to describe Sunny? Comedy? Tragedy? Are you more gay than you are Catholic? They’re at war. “Primary” identity, but identity isn’t rigid, just one thing, this or that, black or white, it’s about the blend.

It’s about the blend.

(And the Big Mo of it all, are we playing to win or to have fun? Why not both?) Peace and love. Peace and love.