AITA for striking my (M43) son (M20) when he rejected me as his father?
I understand that the title might have you thinking the worst, but please hear me out.
I didn't have a relationship with my son for basically all his life. This was due to my circumstances at the time: I went through a major personal tragedy and was severely injured, to the point of being on life support. To this day I have a lot of issues with my health.
I recently reconnected with my son. I immediately invited him to meet my boss (M92), in hopes that I could set him up with a job opportunity. I feel that this is significant. As far as I know, my son has been working in menial jobs in agriculture, but then apparently chose to leave that life and - to my shock - join a criminal syndicate.
I felt as if getting a good government job would be a way to turn over a new leaf in his life, especially given his past. However, he immediately became combative. I attempted to give him some guidance in managing his emotions, but he rejected that as well.
I'm sad to say that the argument became physical. Some blows were exchanged, but in the end, I was angry enough to strike him. I immediately felt very bad, and decided to offer him the government job on the spot. He rejected me again, and chose to leave very abruptly. I haven't had any contact with him since.
So, AITA?
Edit: Yes, I admit that to call it striking him was an understatement. To clarify, I cut off his hand.
Edit: However, I feel like it should be stated that I myself am a quadruple amputee and we have excellent healthcare.
Edit: I did not immediately identify myself as his father when we met. I think this was my mistake. I think he would have been much more receptive of my message had I done so. As it stands I only told him of our relationship after I had struck him.
Edit: My wife is not in the picture. To my knowledge she passed before his birth.
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To illustrate this post by @mayahawkse I would like to visualize to you the difference:
A post in 2023:
A post in 2014:
A zoom out of the same post:
This is what a community looks like.
See how in 2023 almost all of the reblogs come from the OP, from their few hours/days in the tag search. Meanwhile in 2014 the % of reblogs from OP is insignificant, because most of the reblogs come from the reblogs within the fandom, within the micro-communities formed there. You didn't need to rely on tags, or search, or being featured. Because the community took care of you, made sure to pass the work between themselves and onto their blog and exposed their followers to it. It kept works alive for years.
It's not JUST the reblog/like ratio that causing this issue, it's the type of interaction people have. They're content with scrolling and liking the search engine, instead of actually having a reblogging relationship with other blogs in their community.
Anyways, if you want to see more content you like, the only true way to make it happen is to reblog it. Likes do not forward content in no way but making OP feel nice. Reblogs on the other hand make content eternal. They make it relevant, they make it exist outside of a fickle tumblr search that hardly works on the best of days.
If you want more of something, reblog it.
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An incomplete list of TMA fics I adore
-beacuse of this ask
(If you liked the fics I previously recommended/made fanart for, I think you'll gonna like these as well, but you know, read the tags, know what you are going into)
Yesterday is Here by CirrusGrey @cirrus-grey
Time Travel Fix-it! Slow burn! So good! So much sass from future!Jon- I doubt I have to introduce anyone this amazing author, but if you somehow missed them till now, this is your time! I highly recommend all of their other fics as well, for example one of a more recent one, The Stranger I Know Best is also a lovely read.
enthralling by Prim_the_Amazing @primtheamazing
Vampire!Martin!! I have no words of how much I love this concept, this story, everything about this. I think I'm going to repeat myself through this list, but I also recommend everything else they've written!
to fill... my heart with music? by godshaper @godshaper
so their Martin and Jon design are different from mine, also they made a way better art for this- but still, I wanted to include this really good fic in this list.
Do It All Anew by inkfingers_mcgee or @crit20art
You know the feeling when you read a book that makes you cry, and after that you recommend it to your friend? Well- there is no reason I mentioned this, I'm just so normal about this fic. Or any other fic from inkfingers_mcgee... like Strange Manner of what I made another fanart way back. Also, check out their art!
Anyway, here is Aamal- she is not going to cause emotional damage.
And they were sidekicks (oh my god, they were sidekicks) by arthureameslove @arthureameslove
A lighthearted series where Jon and Martin are sidekicks of supervillains- it's just a really fun fic, also recommend everyting from this author - I previously draw fanart here for an other fic of theirs Like a Lighthouse, Call Me Home
neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well by saintbleeding @saintbleeding
To quote the aurthour: "Post-divorce Jon and Martin in a wedding-based romcom" It's such a comfort read, also has a Tim/Sasha wedding, and lots of cameos! I realised most of these authors I made fanarts for before- like this one for some kind of miraculous bind, this one is oneshot and a bit more serious in tone.
Give Me the Words by rakel @rakel-on-ao3
"Jon and Martin try to make the most of a bad situation in the Scottish Highlands. The situation is worse than they realised." You know that one post about wanting to write PWP, but it keeps turning into character study? Well, this one comes to my mind each time I see that.
i wanna find a home (i wanna share it with you) by heartshapedguy @transgenderboobs
So what would have happened if instead of the cot (tm), Jon offered Martin his own flat to stay? There is no way it's going to change their relationship, right? Such a good read, if you want some fluff, I highly recommend it!
Lucky Stars by magnetarmadda @magnetarmadda
Martin has a lovely family (except his mother) but still, he needs a fake boyfriend, and Jon comes to the rescue. It's one of the first fics I remember reading after I finished the series. It is such a comfort read of mine~
(+enjoy a rare tall Jon from me)
There are so many more fics that also deserve the spotlight, these are just the ones I read multiple times and/or didn't made fanarts for before. If you find something here you like, give them some love! Kudos and comments! They deserve it. (Also, just an extra disclamier some of these are PWP or rated T- just mind the tags)
I tried to link and tag everything, I hope it works.
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imagine young!reader crying while riding old man!logan, genuinely he didn't know what to do because he'd never been with someone younger, like (18-20s not a minor) so he's just wiping tears as he helps guide you with his free hand.
old man!logan was always careful when it came to you, you were just a gently little flower waiting to bloom into something more, but sometimes he just couldn't avoid hurting you. you were young and just so sensitive. times like now, as you bounced up and down on his cock, tears ebbing at your waterline as you grasped at his feeling the need to be closer as tears streamed down your cheek. one of his hands abandoned your hips, to wipe away the tears, "what's wrong?" he whispered gently, with of a hint teasing betraying his worriedness. sometimes (everytime) you started to cry, he sought opportunity to tease you. logan couldn't help but to. "what if—" you hitched your breath as he grabbed your hips, bringing you to a still as you hiccuped, "—what if you leave me for someone better?" like usual, it was always something silly, he would never leave you. if he left you, the world would chew you like gum 'n spit you back out with no hesitation, and he could never let that happen. ever.
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It would be cute if Barbatos asked to hold MC's hand and just didn't let go.
"Be careful, there's a puddle up ahead. It rained quite a bit last night. Take my hand, I'll make sure you don't get dirty."
"Please watch your step. There's a large, uneven stair here. Take my hand, I'll help you walk down."
"Do you remember where the storage room is? I'll show you, just in case. Take my hand and follow me."
All these little excuses, all so he can gently take your hand and have the enjoyment of escorting you. Feeling the warmth of your palm and the curvature of your fingers, how they fit perfectly in his grasp. Ever so softly rubbing a thumb over your skin and daring to imagine how it would feel without his gloves. When you pass the puddle, or reach the end of the stairs, or arrive at the storage room, Barbatos just smiles and doesn't let go.
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i may or may not be planning a fic where one of the many subplots is that Jason (as Red Hood, but Danny already knows) is following/investigating Danny because he thinks Danny’s dangerous somehow. I won’t go into the details because it’s so much, but point is i have a silly little scene in my head wherein Danny goes out to work on a uni group project with Tim, and on their way to the cafe some asshole car hits a guy on a motorcycle. The Biker goes into a rage and starts cursing him out, takes off his helmet and lo and behold it’s Jason.
Mid-verbal fight with the asshole he catches sight of Tim (recording the whole thing and waving at Jason) and of Danny (potential danger he’s been investigating for nearly two weeks), and Jason gives the asshole a “this isn’t over” threat and dips. Then,
Tim, who noticed Danny’s reaction: You know that guy?
Danny: Oh, yeah, that’s my stalker. You?
Tim: Nemesis. I’m sorry he’s your what?
Bonus:
Tim texting Jason: are you stalking my classmate??
Jason: Mind your own business, Replacement.
Jason: Wait, did he tell you that?
Tim: yah
Jason: RH’s been investigating him. Why the FUCK does your “classmate” think it’s me?
Tim: dick is gonna love this. the great rh has a containment breach
Jason: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE TELL HIM REPLACEMENT
Tim: LMAO fuck it we BALL
Jason: TIM
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