#samurai fanfiction and Edgeworth would be like say no more
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johnconstantinesdick · 5 months ago
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The most popular fic in the Steel Samurai fandom had an unexplained seven year hiatus only to update at like 3 am on December 21st, 2027. The author explains that they couldn’t update fic while in prison (huh?) but now that they’re off death row (WHAT??) they’ve transcribed seven years worth of writing (Jesus Christ). The update is 130k words long. Edgeworth and Maya don’t sleep that night.
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starboundsingularities · 10 months ago
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good lird they did not make a gimmick blog about a real life murder
#someone fucking DIED but whatever who gives a shit it's funny i guess
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🥚 eggvidenced Follow
honestly with how suspicious and confusing everything on the dl-6 case was i wouldn't be surprised if it came out that it was that prosecutor guy tbh
🌟 rockliker270 Follow
date posted: june 23, 2010
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⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow
🌟 rockliker270 Follow
ok hear me out. what abt winston payne though
🧊 just--ice Follow
okay now they're just making lawyers up
#also didn't mvk die or something?
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🔥 triedbyfire Follow
why the fuck are you people still posting about the gavinners as if theyre not copaganda. didn't the guitarist get convicted of murder
🎸 guiltiest-lovers837 Follow
so fucking tired of this "um um didn't daryan get convicted of murder" YEAH AND HE'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE FUCKING BAND ANYMORE. dipshit
🔥 triedbyfire Follow
are you gonna address the copaganda thing or
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🌻 attorneybout Follow
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he's so. 😳
📂 trialanderror Follow
why is he defending
📂 trialanderror Follow
OP WHY IS HE DEFENDING???
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🦈 giantlakemonsters Follow
i just wanna hear about another gourdy sighting thats all
🥜 liberdeez Follow
op. i'm so sorry op. gourdy isn't real you have to let her go. they had a whole trial about it.
🔐 wrightorwrong Follow
hi!! so this isn't actually the case as while gourdy was briefly mentioned in a trial, said trial had nothing to do with whether or not gourdy was "real" per se as much as. well. murder, actually. while gourdy WAS found out to be an inflatable steel samurai this was not brought up in the case at all as the veracity of gourdy wasn't really as relevant as the fact that the witness was looking for gourdy rather than at the murder she claimed to have seen. plus this was also a relatively small part of a MUCH larger trial which for those interested not only solved the dl-6 case but ALSO marked the end of prosecutor von karma's ~40 year long record and the court records are really a fascinating read through!!
🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow
net 0 information post
#thanks again lawblr
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🍒 cherriescoola Follow
btw i was at the park the other day and klavier gavin (of gavinners fame) was there and obv there was a huge crowd but this guy was there with him and at some point he (the other guy) waved to the crowd and someone still screamed like it was klavier??? who was that guy ive never seen him before in my life
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🩸 has-dl6-been-solved-yet Follow
December 28, 2016
YES!!!
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🪙 tellerlikeitis Follow
guys help i'm a bank teller and this guy just introduced himself as robin banks what do i do
🔪 violencekilling Follow
you gotta let him rob you that's the law
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👻 ghostesswiththemostest Follow
look if i ever get convicted of murder im just hiring the lawyer with the coolest sounding name
💼 courtofwaw Follow
bestie if you already got convicted it is Too Late
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📋 lawandwhoreder Follow
guys i know it's real fun to think people just can predict whatever but if you look at the earliest reblogs of that post that "guessed" the true killer in the dl-6 case it was actually a post about how they didn't want to go to the store. clearly edited
#stg nobody bothers to factcheck anything anymore
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🐺 lawnewolf Follow
i am NOT homophobic or whatever the fuck you guys are saying now i just think its weird to write fanfiction about realass people?? go touch grass ffs
🌈 lawsbian Follow
the fun police (this guy) putting me in yaoi court but the lawyers (phoenix witrght and miles edgeworth) just keep trying to make out (real court is like this too btw)
🐺 lawnewolf Follow
YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.
#look idc what your enemies to lovers fic bullshit says #they're straight. and more importantly REAL PEOPLE. #there's TENSION because they are in COURT and there are LIVES on the LINE. #not because they wanna fuck. god.
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🔮 inhighspirits Follow
why dont they just ask the spirit mediums to ask the victims who killed them this law shit is easy
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💞 lawveyourself Follow
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seriously i cant believe they gave this guy a law degree
💞 lawveyourself Follow
what do you mean evidence fraud
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🎧 instrumentalillness Follow
fuck you *unguilties your love*
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🎀 copiicat Follow
perjury isnt illegal btw in fact if youre one of tge witnesses youre legally required to lie on the stand. thats why everyone does it. trust me
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spirit-small · 3 years ago
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this is hard because like there are parts of this i really like. i think it’s funny that maya compares edgeworth and franziska to frasier and niles. maya complains about steel samurai action figures because i’m mad about star wars action figures. franziska is computer illiterate. big bang burger from persona 5 is there.
i think the problem is i’m only really good at. funny dialogue? i don’t think i write prose all that well. descriptions of the scenes feel very basic and i don’t think they come across as i envision them in my head. this whole thing i think would work better as a comic but i also can’t really draw. so. we’re at an impasse. there’s a reason my primary art forms are voice acting and graphic design.
but is all that just an excuse? do i just not like it because i’m embarrassed of liking things? is it just that i’m embarrassed to admit i wrote something like this? not just fanfiction, but shipping fanfiction? shipping fanfiction that only appeals to a niche market that is very hard to explain to people that don’t Get It? am i just afraid to be Cringe or is this story actually as bad as i think it is?
i’ve never really been somebody that’s written fanfiction meant to be taken seriously. i wrote some stupid ones as a kid but they were meant to be just funny jokes. i’ve never really been much of a shipper and franmaya might actually be the first and only time i’ve really been into a ship that’s not explicitly canon. and i have trouble openly admitting that to people, for some reason.
i guess what i’m saying is when you read this, keep in mind that this is my first serious attempt at doing something like this. i didn’t plan anything out and wrote this all chronologically so it’s a structural and pacing nightmare, and i cut it off at a very unnatural place because i wrote this entire thing over the course of a few really slow days at work and when i got back to it i just wasn’t feeling it anymore. if i were to finish this i’d say it’d end up being around twice or three times as long as it is and they would actually get around to talking about their feelings. so with all that out of the way and your expectations are sufficiently lowered,
“Come on… come on! Grrrgh…” Maya Fey kicks and bangs on the courthouse lobby’s vending machine. “You are NOT taking my $1.25 and not giving me my chips! This is life or death, I haven’t had a burger in like three hours…”
Franziska von Karma watches her from the other side of the room. She’s not quite sure why exactly she’s so invested in this, but she can’t look away. Recently, she’s been finding herself more and more interested and amused by the antics of one Maya Fey, and it sickens her. Why does she care so much about what foolish actions this foolish fool foolishly enacts? Maya tries a flying kick but just ends up falling on the floor.
“I can’t watch this anymore” Franziska sighs and approaches the vending machine, putting in a fresh $1.25. She looks down at Maya on the floor. “What number did you want?”
“...G7…” Maya picks herself up and dusts herself off as Franziska inputs the number and two bags fall out, the original that got stuck and a brand new one. She hands them both to Maya and turns around to leave without a word.
“Thank yo- W-wait, Prosecutie von Karma!”
“...what did you call me?”
“Pro…Prosecutor… I… don’t you want one of these? I don’t really need two bags…”
“Thank you, Miss Fey, but no thank you. I could do without the carbs, and the sodium, and… are you alright?”
Maya squints and holds her head as she stumbles and falls into Franziska’s arms. She uses her last bit of strength to look up at her as she loses consciousness, and mass. Franziska can’t help but lose her cool as Maya shrinks in her arms. By the time she’s done, the unconscious Maya fits perfectly in Franziska’s palm. She’s been reduced to just around five inches tall.
Franziska just stares at her for a moment, scarcely sure that any of this is real, or even that Maya is still alive. This isn’t possible, this shouldn’t be possible, and yet here she is. But then, she supposes, channeling spirits should be impossible. Defeating a von Karma in court should be impossible. This isn’t anywhere close to the first time Franziska’s entire worldview about what should or should not be possible has been shattered. 
All Franziska can do is stare at the small medium in her hand. She’s definitely breathing, that’s good. A little poke, firm enough to feel but soft enough not to hurt her tiny, fragile body, but it doesn’t stir her awake. What can she do? A hospital? The only one nearby is the Hotti clinic, and with that creep director, she’s not sure leaving Maya with him in this vulnerable state is the best idea. Maybe that fool Phoenix Wright knows something, but he’s a foolish fool and she would rather die than ask him for help. No, the only option, in fact, is to take the little Miss Fey with her and nurse her back to health herself.
Franziska leaves the courthouse in a rush, clutching Maya to her chest closely so as not to jostle her too much. She makes her way to her car and places Maya in a comfortable and secure makeshift nest out of a coat she keeps in there, just in case it gets cold.
“Is this… kidnapping?” Franziska wonders aloud to herself. “Well. I suppose she’s already been kidnapped once, if anything she is the expert… I’ll ask her what she considers this when she wakes up.”
As she drives, Franziska can’t help but sneak a peek at the unconscious form in her passenger seat every chance she gets. She can hardly believe she’s real. So small, so fragile, so delicate, yet so strong at the same time. And so unbelievably cute. I mean, no, not that last part, she would never think that about a fool like Maya Fey. Never. Not even once.
Arriving at her home, Franziska makes a little bed out of her comfiest couch pillow and a soft throw blanket. If Maya Fey is being kidnapped (again), at the very least she's going to be comfortable. She gently shakes Maya, hoping to wake her up, but still nothing.
Franziska sighs and sits on the couch opposite Maya, and just starts reading a book while she waits. She finds it very hard to focus and rereads the same paragraph about a dozen times before giving up on reading and instead opening her laptop and typing h-t-t-p-colon-forward slash-forward slash-yahoo-dot-com-forward slash into the address bar.
"What to do when your foolish acquaintance from work falls unconscious and shrinks to five inches tall"
No relevant results.
"Maya Fey is tiny please help"
No relevant results.
"Shrunk spirit medium"
Nothing but foolish puns. Normally these would induce a bit of an eye roll from Franziska von Karma, but here today, in this situation, it produces rage. She huffs and slams her computer closed before tossing it aside.
After a bit more waiting, Maya begins to stir awake. Franziska holds her breath and stares intently at her, nervous and yet relieved. Maya opens her eyes and glances around the room, her gaze landing on Franziska. She readjusts herself so she's sitting up, yawns, and stretches.
"Something wrong, Ms. Von Karma? You look a little frazzled."
"Miss Fey… you. Um. You seem to have… I mean…"
"Oh, the shrinking thing? That just kinda happens sometimes. No big deal."
"It… what?"
"Oh, it's a spirit medium thing. Though I guess for now I'm more of a spirit small, right? Get it? Nick hates that joke. Pearly gets a kick out of it every time though."
"Miss Fey if you don't explain yourself this instant you'll be answering to the underside of my boot."
That was one of the few times Franziska had ever seen the perpetual cheer ripped forcefully off of Maya's face. And she regretted saying it immediately.
"N-no, I didn't mean that, my apologies Miss Fey, I would never crush you, I promise. You're safe here. You're safe with me."
"I-it's okay. I know. I trust you." Maya takes a deep breath. "So! Sometimes, when a spirit medium uses up too much spiritual power, their body just sorta gives up and shrinks to preserve and replenish their energy. It usually only lasts a few days. I've been training really hard lately, so I was kind of expecting this to happen sooner or later. I'm surprised I woke up with you, though."
"I-is that… a problem?"
"No way! I just figured you would've handed me off to Nick and washed your hands of the whole situation. If anything, this is kind of exciting. I've… actually been wanting to spend more time with you anyway, y'know?"
"Why would you ever want to spend time with me?"
"Oh, um," Maya blushes, though it's hard to tell at her size. "You're just really cool… Girlbossing it up and all that. I really, y'know… I look up to you. And not just because you're the size of a building to me now." Maya laughs at her own joke, and Franziska even cracks the slightest hint of a smile.
"Yes, well, I know I am rather admirable. I certainly can't fault you for that."
"...S-soooo, why exactly did you take me here instead of giving me to Nick?"
"Phoenix Wright is a fool. I certainly can't trust him with something as important as keeping you safe and taken care of in this state. A job like that is one I could only ensure is properly done if I do it myself."
"Aww, Ziska, you really care about me that much?" Maya makes a smug expression and chuckles slightly. Franziska blushes and puts her whole hand against Maya, blocking her from her own view.
"It's not like that at all! I simply do not wish you any harm and this was the easiest way to ensure your safety. Nothing more."
Maya spreads Franziska's fingers apart to look at her.
"Come on, admit it. You wouldn't have done this for just anyone. What if it had been Nick, huh?"
"Whatever do you mean?"
"If you found Nick shrunk, would you have brought him back home with you?"
"Of course not! I would have left him with you, or maybe Scruffy… or perhaps handed him off to my little brother. I'd imagine they'd both get a kick out of that scenario, don't you?"
"That would be extremely funny to watch, but see, see my point? What if it was, like, I don't know… Larry Butz?'
"...admittedly, in that case, I might have just left him to fend for himself on the ground."
"See? You clearly have some-"
"Objection!" Franziska picks Maya up, dangling her from her robes with two fingers directly in front of her face. "Miss Fey, I demand you cease this line of questioning at once!"
Maya sighs.
"Alright, if you insist, Ziska."
Franziska sighs and adjusts herself so she's laying on the couch, placing Maya gently on her palm and cupping her hands around her protectively.
"You're remarkably well-adjusted to being this size. I thought that would terrify you."
"Well, it used to scare me. The first time it ever happened, I didn't know it was a thing. Like, at all. I was freaking out, crying… I was just a kid then. I thought I was donezo for keeps. But luckily, my sister Mia was there. She picked me up, told me it was gonna be okay, that this was normal. She said she was gonna take care of me, make sure I was okay."
"Did she?"
"Yep! For the next three days she didn't let me out of her sight. From then on, I wasn't really ever scared to be tiny, because I knew Mia would be there to protect me. I never really even worried about it, at least until…"
"Until? Until wh- Oh."
"The first time it happened after she died was a little bit after the Steel Samurai case. I'd never been shrunk outside the village up til that point, and I didn't really know how it would go. As scared as I was, though, I think it freaked Nick out way more. He was all 'Wh-g-huh?!?' and kept looking like he was gonna faint. That all eventually turned out okay, though. Nick… well, he's maybe not quite as good at taking care of a shrinkee as Mia was, but he gets the job done."
"So, the only people who've actually seen you small…?"
"Mia, Pearly, Nick, you… Actually, I think you and Nick are the only people not from Kurain that have."
"Well, even though it was an accident, I still feel honored."
"Y'know, Franziska… Even though like everything is more dangerous like this, I've always kinda associated being tiny with being loved, cared for, protected… I feel weirdly very comfortable like this, here, with you. It's nice sitting in your hands. They're comfortable. Do you moisturize?"
"What a foolish question. Of course I moisturize. What sort of a fool doesn't moisturize in this dry Japanifornian climate?"
"So true, bestie." Maya yawns and leans back, getting comfortable in Franziska's hand. "So, um… I never did get to eat those chips from before… do, uh, do you think I could trouble you for something to eat? I don't really know what it is you people eat, I assume fancy cheeses and German dishes with borderline-unpronounceable names, but I'll try anything once."
"What do you mean by 'you people', exactly?"
"You know… like you and Edgey's particular brand of snooty-but-lovable pretentious rich person. Frasier vibes."
"Frasier."
"I think you're more of the Niles out of you two, actually."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Don't worry about it. So what do I have to do to convince you to take me to Big Bang Burger?"
"Big Bang Burger? After all of this, you really expect me to set foot in a…" Franziska shudders "fast food establishment?"
"Pwease?" Maya's eyes go wide and her bottom lip sticks out a little.
"...That isn't going to work on me. You think you can just look up at me with those sad little eyes and I'll do whatever you want? Not a chance. No way. I would never-" Franziska sighs, grumbles, and sits up, putting Maya down on the coffee table. "I'll get my coat. I cannot believe I'm doing this."
"Yes!" Maya jumps in the air excitedly. Franziska puts on a coat that is far too fancy for a routine trip to Big Bang Burger. Maya's convinced at this point that Franziska doesn't own a single casual article of clothing. She scoops Maya up and gently places her in a breast pocket before heading out the door.
Maya sits in Franziska's pocket, cozying up. Whatever material it is, it's soft and warm. That, along with the gentle swaying from Franziska's perfect practiced stride and the subtle heartbeat she can just barely make out when she leans against her chest, nearly lulls Maya back to sleep.
Maya doesn't even notice when they arrive, until she feels the gentle tapping of Franziska's finger against her.
"Miss Fey," Franziska whispers. "What do you want? Actually… how much can you even eat at this size?"
"Hmm… with how hungry I am, I could probably put away about a quarter of a regular Big Bang Burger. Maybe a fry or two."
"And just what do you expect me to do with the other three quarters?"
"I mean… you could eat it? It'd be like we're sharing!"
"You expect me to eat- ugh. What's the smallest hamburger they have? I don't want to have to eat more than necessary."
"Oh, that would be the Lil Bang Meal. It's for kids, though. It comes with a toy! Actually, wait, wait, I think there's supposed to be Steel Samurai toys this month. We should get the Lil Bang Meal. Please, Ziska, will you get me a Lil Bang Meal?"
"Are you serious, Miss Fey? Is it not bad enough that you made me come here, and expect me to eat here- you also expect me to order the meal for children, specifically for a toy?!"
"What's the problem? Edgey's doing it."
"What on earth are you talking about?"
"Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth just walked in. I don't think he saw us. Well, you, I don't think he could see me at all."
"That's preposterous, my little brother would never stoop so low as to- Miles?!"
"I told you, the Steel Samurai toys are a hot commodity! This is the first time they've ever made an Iron Infant! He's not even in the main figure line yet. I'm telling you, Hadsis' Metal Collection line of premium six-inch articulated Samurai action figures has really fallen off. Too many repaints and kitbashes lately, while highly-requested main characters take like, a year to come out!"
"Whatever you're talking about, I don't care." Franziska pushes Maya's head back down into her pocket and approaches Edgeworth. "Miles Edgeworth. Fancy meeting you here. Come here often, little brother?"
"F-franziska?! What could you possibly be doing in a Big Bang Burger?" The shock on Edgeworth's face is beyond words.
"I could ask you the very same question."
"I'm… investigating. For a case."
"Mmhmm. Sure. The case of the Silver Samurai toys, no doubt."
"It's the Steel Samurai- ngh… How do you even know that?"
"I have my ways. I'm actually here for the very same reason."
"Since when do you care about the Steel Samurai?"
"I don't. I'm simply… picking one up, for a… a friend."
"Since when do you have friends?"
"I-I have plenty of friends, you fool! You're one to talk!"
"Hi Edgey!" Maya pokes her head out of Franziska's pocket and waves.
"Oh. Hello, Miss F- Maya!?"
"Get back in there!" Franziska pushes Maya back into her pocket. "We don't want to cause a scene.”
“Franziska… What exactly is going on? Wright has been looking for her all day. He’s incredibly stressed, and making it my problem. Would you care to explain what she’s doing in your pocket, in a Big Bang Burger of all places?”
“...fine. But not here. Buy Miss Fey one of those Little Burger Bangers and meet me back at my place. We’ll explain everything there.” Franziska checks on Maya and walks out the door, heading back home.
Miles Edgeworth places an order for two Lil Bang Meals and takes out his phone while he waits.
"Wright? It's me. Meet me at Franziska's in twenty minutes. What? Fine, thirty. Forty-five, whatever, just get here as soon as you can. No, I can't pick you up!" Edgeworth sighs. "Fine, I can pay for a taxi. Just bill it to the prosecutor's office, I'll take care of it. No, it is not fraud- ngh." He hangs up.
"Niles? Two Lil Bang Meals for Niles?" The cashier calls out. Edgeworth takes his order, starts to give a stern correction over his name, but decides to let it slide. His next appointment is simply too important to dilly-dally here.
"I cannot believe you would just call out to him like that. In public! What were you thinking?!" Franziska scolds Maya.
"I was thinking that it's Edgey? I know him? I've known him longer than I've known you, I'm not afraid of him. We're Samuraicon buddies! He's not gonna do anything weird to me." Maya argues.
"That may be true, but we were surrounded by swarms of commonfolk. If one of them saw you…"
"Come on, Ziska. If some rando tried something, you'd whip their entire face off before they could even reach me. Wouldn't you?"
"Of course I would! That doesn't mean I want to start an all-out brawl in a fast food restaurant! I have to protect you, Miss Fey, and at this point, the best way for me to do that is to keep you a secret. If no one knows you're there, no one can try to hurt you, right?"
"Is that why you still haven't told Nick where I am?"
"Miss Fey…"
"That's it, isn't it? You just wanna keep me all to yourself, huh?"
"Listen, Miss Fey, I-"
"Franziska. I'm flattered. Really, I am. It's kinda romantic, in a way. But you gotta tell Nick and Pearly I'm here with you. I know they're worried about me."
"...alright. But after we deal with Miles. I'm not sure I could handle them both at once."
Maya nods and ducks back into Franziska's pocket, cozying up against her chest. It's warm in there, much more preferable to the freezing cold air that blasts her face every time she peeks out. They arrive back home and Franziska returns to her previous position of laying on the couch with Maya cupped in her hands. Franziska smiles and gently strokes Maya's hair. Maya closes her eyes and leans into it, letting out a small sigh.
"S-sorry!" Franziska sharply rips her hand away. "That was completely inappropriate behavior on my part and I apologize profusely."
"N-no, it's okay! I… I liked it." Maya plays with her hair and looks away from Franziska, which is hard because she's more or less surrounded on all sides by her. "Um… Z-... Franziska… Ms. Prosecutie von Karma... do, uh… how do I put this…”
The doorbell rings.
"I'm terribly sorry, Miss Fey, we'll have to continue this some other time." Franziska stands up, places Maya on the coffee table, pats her head gently with one finger, and goes to answer the door.
"Alright, Franziska. I got your food. Now I believe you have some explaining to do." Miles Edgeworth enters, handing a Big Bang Burger bag to Franziska. "Good evening, Ms. Fey." He sits on the couch and crosses his arms, awaiting an explanation. Franziska sits on the other side of the couch, opening the burger and fries and placing them in front of Maya, who immediately jumps on top of the burger and starts eating.
"Fine. If you must know… I found her like this and brought her home. That's all." Franziska says, eager to be done with this conversation.
"...that can't be it. There has to be more to the story." Edgeworth is very visibly confused.
"Some needless padding and irrelevant details, I suppose. But that's all you need to know."
"But- how did she shrink?! Do you even know?"
"Oh," Maya chimes in with her mouth full. "Don't worry about it, Edgey, this is normal."
"...no it isn't! This isn't something that just happens to people!" Edgeworth exclaims.
"It does when you're a spirit medium. Really, everything's fine. I'll be back to normal in a couple days. I'm just gonna stay here with Ziska until then. No prob."
"...wait, Ziska?" Edgeworth asks, turning toward Franziska. "I thought you hated nicknames. You call nearly everyone by their full first and last name. I knew you for 15 years before I heard you call me just Miles."
"I-I may not like using them but I have no problem with receiving them!"
“Then would you care to explain why I still have a scar from your riding crop from the first- and only- time I dared to call you ‘Franny’?!”
“It… it’s simply different with Miss Fey! It’s not that deep, little brother. We can simply drop this now.”
The doorbell rings again. Franziska’s rage is building.
“Whatever fool that is just made the worst mistake of their life.” She says, getting up. “They are going to receive the whipping of a lifetime."
"Oh, that's probably Wright." Edgeworth says with a fry in his mouth.
"Even better." Franziska smirks and tightens her grip on her whip. She opens the door to a disheveled Phoenix Wright.
"Uhh, hey… Edgey, told me to come he- OWW!" Phoenix immediately feels the full force of Franziska's whip.
"You may enter. It is simply customary for me to whip fools before letting them into my home." Franziska steps aside and clutches her whip tightly as Phoenix cautiously steps inside. She whips him again.
"Ow! What was that one for?!"
"Just for my own amusement." Franziska chuckles.
"Can we not do this today, Franziska? Please?" Phoenix turns to Edgeworth. "So, Edgey, what's this about? Do you know where Maya is?!"
"You could say that, yes." Edgeworth smirks.
"Hey Nick." Maya waves.
"Not now, Maya. Edgey, tell me, where is she?!"
"NICK!" Maya pouts.
"Maya?!" Phoenix crouches down against the table and sighs. "I was worried this is what happened. Are you okay, how'd you end up here with Edgey and Franziska?"
"I'm fine! It happened in the courthouse earlier… when I went to get a snack. Franziska found me! She's been taking pretty good care of me, too. Better than you usually do!"
"Well, ouch!" Phoenix rolls his eyes and Franziska turns away so no one can see her blush. "Still. It's good to see you're okay."
Phoenix stands up and puts his hand on Franziska's shoulder. She immediately swats it away.
"Who said you could touch me, fool?!" She readies her whip.
"Gah! Sorry, sorry! I just wanted to thank you. If you hadn't been there when she shrank…"
"I was simply doing my job. Being a prosecutor is all about protecting the innocent, you know."
"... Since when?" Phoenix and Maya say in unison.
"I-it's a part of it!"
"If you say so. Well, once again, thank you for all you've done for Maya, but I think it's time we got out of your hair for the night."
"W-wait, Nick…" Maya says.
"You're… taking her…?" Franziska sounds dejected.
"Nick, before that, can I, uh… I wanna show you something in the other room. It's super neat you gotta come look!" Maya gets excited. Phoenix shrugs and puts his hand down, palm up in front of Maya for her to get on. "Right in there, close the door!"
Phoenix obliges.
"So what do you wanna show me?"
"...nothing, Nick, that was. That was a lie. Come on, I thought you were at least a little clever! I just gotta talk to you in private."
"Well, we're in private, what is it?"
"I… um… I wanna… stay… with Franziska… a-at least just until I grow back…"
"...aaaaare you sure that's a good idea? Franziska is kinda… well… you know… mean?"
"Only to you! And Gumshoe. And Larry. And- okay, fine, but she's pretty nice to me! Sometimes. Well, she's been getting better lately. And I've really been enjoying staying with her these last few hours… a-and besides, you don't need me running around, wreaking havoc while you're still trying to adjust to raising Trucy… I'm not even sure I'm ready to be around her at this size, I've seen how she plays with toys and I am not interested in subjecting myself to that."
"Maya… are you sure this is what you want?"
"Nick. Nick. Imagine if you just woke up, and Edgey was there, taking care of you. Pampering you. Spoiling you. Would you want me to come in and take you out of this living fantasy to bring you back to your normal life, except a more dangerous version of it?"
"Well, no, I guess not… wait, why'd you use Edgey as the example there, it's not like you two are like… wait a minute. Wait a minute! You're just in 'unnecessary feelings' with Franziska aren't you!"
"Sh sh sh shhh!!! If you MUST know, yes. I've been in love with her ever since I first laid eyes on her..." 
"You mean when she tried to get you convicted of murder?"
"Yes, when she tried to get me convicted of murder!" Maya pouts. "I don't know if she's interested, or if I'd ever have a chance… but I feel like if it was ever gonna happen, this is how. Here's how franmaya can still win!"
"You. You gave yourself a ship name?"
"It's hip to do that now! So what do you say? Will you get Edgey out of here so I can spend the night with Franziska?"
"Well…" Phoenix sighs. "Fine. Just… be careful, okay? Stay safe. Don't do anything too weird with her. If you change your mind at any point I can come and get you."
"Thank you, Nick." Maya hugs his thumb. "You're a good little brother."
"Yeah, yeah." Phoenix rolls his eyes and walks back into the living room. Franziska is sitting in a chair, arms crossed and pouty. Phoenix cautiously places Maya on the arm of her chair and backs away. Maya looks up at Franziska, smiles, and waves.
"I was under the impression that you were taking her with you." Franziska huffs and glares at Phoenix.
"I-I mean I can if you want me to, but Maya said you wouldn't mind and, well, with Trucy at home I'm not really sure that's the best environment for Maya right now…"
"I suppose she can stay with me if-" Edgeworth chimes in.
"That won't be necessary, little brother! I'm perfectly capable of caring for Little Miss Fey all on my own. She's staying here and that's final."
"Great! Now that that's settled, Edgey, what do you say to giving me a ride home?" Phoenix gives Edgeworth the pleading emoji face.
"Wright…" Edgeworth sighs. "When are you just going to get a car already?"
"Hey! It's not like I just lost my job or anything. Not like I've got a kid waiting for me at home I gotta feed and clothe or anything."
"Wright… you didn't leave her alone did you?!" Edgeworth jumps to his feet and grabs his keys.
"Of course not! How irresponsible do you think I am? Larry's watching her."
"We have to leave immediately." Edgeworth grabs Phoenix by the arm and rushes out the door.
"Wow," Maya says, as soon as they're gone. "I don't understand why they don't just get married already."
Franziska laughs. "They really are a couple of oblivious, lovesick fools, aren't they? Not even aware of the strength of their feelings for each other."
"Their unnecessary feelings…" Maya whispers to herself.
"Their what?"
"Nothing… nevermind. So, um, l-like I was saying before, um…"
"Eugh, Miss Fey! You are absolutely swimming in burger grease! It's disgusting, we need to get you a bath and a change of clothes immediately."
Maya smells herself and looks over her clothes.
"It's not that bad-" but Franziska has already stood up and begun taking her to the bathroom.
"Ziska, come on, I don't need you to bathe me…"
"Fine," Franziska places Maya on the bathroom countertop. "Draw your own bath, Miss Fey."
Maya pouts and grumbles and sits down. Franziska chuckles.
"Thought so." 
Franziska turns on the faucet and holds her hand under it until it's warm, but not too hot. She plugs the sink and lets it fill up just a few inches, deep enough for Maya to be submerged but without any risk of drowning. She retrieves a small jar from a cupboard and sprinkles a pinch of colorful powder from it into the sink, which quickly turns the water to a mixture of blues, teals, and purples. She lights a few candles around the sink, dims the lights, and plays some calming classical music.
"Well? Do my perfect bath-drawing skills astound you?" Franziska asks smugly as she breaks off a tiny chunk of soap and fills a few bottle caps with shampoo, conditioner, and whatever other bath goop she has, placing them all on top of a small, folded up washcloth..
"Wow… it's really nice! More involved than any bath I've ever taken. Just, uh… just one question, though, Ziska."
"And what is that?"
"How do I get in and out?"
Franziska's sink is steep and smooth porcelain. Beautiful, but not climbable.
"Hm. Hmmm… yes, I suppose that would be a problem, wouldn't it?
"Well… I guess… I guess it's okay for you to put me in and out? Like, you'll have to see me naked…"
"M-miss Fey, that is completely inappropriate!"
"...is it that inappropriate? I mean, you're taking care of me specifically because I need someone to help me do things like this while I'm small."
"Hm, yes, yes, you have a point…" Franziska's starting to blush. "I… suppose, if I must, I can handle helping you out."
"Great! Just one problem."
"What is that?"
"I don't have any other clothes."
"...oh. Well… hm…" Franziska thinks for a moment, eyes closed and hand on her chin. "Ah! I have an idea. Let's just hurry and get you in your bath before it gets cold, I'll handle your clothes." 
Franziska picks Maya up and starts undressing her.
"Z-ziska?!" Maya's face is bright red and Franziska's matches once she realizes what she's done. She quickly puts her back down and turns away.
"I am so sorry, Miss Fey, I don't know why I did that- I'll just. I won't look until you're ready. I'm sorry…"
Maya hesitates for a moment, but takes her clothes off. She inches closer to the sink, considering just cannonballing it, but decides against it.
"Um, F-franziska? I'm ready… you can look now."
Franziska turns around and tries not to look directly at Maya's body. She places her hand down flat, palm up, and allows Maya to sit on it. She lowers her gently into the warm bath, smiles down at her, scoops up the pile of Maya's clothes, and exits the bathroom.  She dumps the whole pile into a tiny mesh laundry bag to keep it all together and drops it into the washing machine, and heads to the bedroom to dig through her closet for a certain box.
Maya relaxes in the sink-bath. She never really takes the time to take care of herself like this. It's nice. 
After a few minutes, Franziska knocks on the bathroom door.
"Miss Fey, are you alright in there? Are you ready to get out or do you want more time?"
"Umm, I'm starting to get pruny so I think it's time. Could you come in here and do one thing for me though?"
"Of course, Miss Fey," Franziska enters the bathroom. "What is it?"
"Turn on the faucet for a minute, I wanna rinse my hair out."
"...are you sure that's a good idea, I don't want the water pressure to hurt you…"
"Ziska, please. I stand under waterfalls in the freezing cold on the reg. Your sink isn't gonna hurt me."
"Well… if you insist," Franziska reaches for the handle. "Ready?"
Maya nods. Franziska turns the handle and the water comes rushing down, and Maya falls over into the water. Franziska gasps and immediately turns off the water and scoops Maya up.
"Miss Fey?! Miss Fey!! Are you alright, are you breathing?!"
Maya coughs and sits up.
"Damn… you weren't lying. That water can pressure."
Franziska hugs Maya, holding her close to her chest. "Don't ever scare me like that again, you little fool."
Maya closes her eyes and just lets herself lay against Franziska for a moment. She whispers a muffled "I love you," quiet enough that Franziska can't even hear it.
"Now then, you should get dried off." Franziska let's Maya down on the counter and hands her a washcloth. 
"Thanks." She starts drying herself off.
"I found something I think you can wear…" Franziska holds up a small dress just about Maya's size. It's fancy. Ruffley, vaguely victorian-esque. It's not exactly Maya's style, but it screams Von Karma.
"Woah, where'd you get that?"
"There's a box with a few things from my childhood. Not much, but I did have a few dolls, and, well… I think you would… look… very……… c…. cu…. Nice in this." Franziska struggles to get those words out. Cute. Cute. She would look… cute.
"Y-you think so?" Maya takes the dress from Franziska and tries it on. She does a little twirl and looks at herself in the mirror. "It's great!" Maya laughs and smiles up at Franziska. "Thank you, Ziska."
"You really like it? You don't have to just be nice, it's fine if you don't like it, I know it's not your usual style. You can put your normal clothes back on as soon as they're dry if you want-"
"Ziska! I mean it. I like it. It… it's very you. That's a good thing. I like you!”
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unknown-art1 · 6 years ago
Text
The Ultimate Wingmen
Summary: Pearls and Maya find a sketchbook that reveals a defense attorney’s secret crush on a certain prosecutor. What happens when these girls decided to become his best wingman? What ridiculous acts will these girls get into to help their friend Phoenix confess his love?
Pearls ran towards Maya carrying a blue book with a label on top that said Wright’s Sketchbook “Mystic Maya! Mystic Maya! What is a sketchbook?”
              Maya paused a Steel Samurai episode on the television and explained to Pearls “Well it’s kind of in the name, it’s just a book full of sketches or I guess mini drawings if you want to call them that.”
              Pearls flipped through the pages of the blue book as she asked “Umm, are most of the drawings supposed to contain drawings of the same person?”
              Maya tilted her head; and thought that’s strange, who is this person that’s worth filling most of a sketchbook with? Maya hopped up from her seat and strode over to Pearls so they could look inside the sketchbook together. It was full of pictures of the friends they encountered through their murder cases like Detective Gumshoe, Franziska Von Karma, Larry Butz, and Mr. Godot, but the person that reoccurred the most throughout the book was Miles Edgeworth.
              They continued to flip through the pages; Pearls wasn’t lying when she said there were a lot of pictures of the same person here. Every couple pages they would find a new picture of Edgeworth sometimes it would be drawn as a headshot, other times it’d be drawn as a full body pic, but occasionally there was full blown illustrations dedicated to him. Each picture was drawn with great care and Phoenix seemed to pay attention to the even smallest details, but what was so special about Edgeworth of all people that caused Phoenix to draw him this much?
              Maya mumbled out loud “What could cause someone to be passionate about drawing a specific person?”
              Pearls thought about it for a minute and responded “I think he really likes Mr. Edgeworth, they are friends aren’t they?”
              Maya pondered that statement for a moment, while yes it was true they were friends, a lot of people were friends with Phoenix, so why was Edgeworth different? She thought about it for a few more seconds and remembered about what Pearl said and how Phoenix seems to really like Edgeworth.
              And then a realization hit her and she exclaimed, “Nick likes Edgeworth!”
              Pearls gave a puzzled look at Maya’s outburst and replied “Of course he does, their friends after all!”
              Maya shook her head “No, Nick likes Edgeworth romantically! That is the only possible way to explain why he’s so fascinated with drawing him.”
              A little gasp escaped Pearls at this new development “But Mystic Maya I thought you liked Nick romantically! Aren’t you upset your feelings are unrequited?”
              How did she learn the word unrequited? That’s a big word for someone her age. Has Pearls been reading romance novels or fanfiction I’m unaware of?  Maya wondered.
              Maya responded “Nah, I never liked Nick that way. I rather go out with a burger than go out with Nick.”
              A giggle escaped Pearls at Maya’s response.
              Maya stated “But now we have an important job to do.”
              Pearls asked “What is it?”
              Maya shouted “Obviously to help Nick and Edgeworth get together!”
……………
              Later, Maya kicked down the door and ran inside the Wright & Co Law Offices with Pearls following swiftly behind her and yelled “NICK! WE KNOW ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS FOR A CERTAIN PROSECUTOR!”
              Pearls shouted “Mr. Nick, where are you? We want to talk to you!”
              They saw Phoenix nowhere in sight. So there was only one thing to do! It was time for Maya and Pearls to investigate to find the missing Nick!
              Maya pointed to the other room “You look that way and I’ll go look in his main office okay?”
              Pearls nodded her head up and down and then scurried off into the room. Maya began to search his office and immediately spotted a plant. If anyone knew who had been in this room it was definitely Charley.
              Maya began to interrogate the witness, “Did you see him Charley? Did you see Nick in this room?”
              Charley remained silent.
              She let out an annoyed sigh, “The silent treatment? That’s so typical of you Charley,” Maya cracked her knuckles,” Fine, I didn’t want to have to do this Charley, but you leave me no choice!”
              Maya grabbed the sides of the plant pot and shook it back and forth spilling dirt out onto the floor, and further interrogated the plant “Where is Nick hiding Charley? I know you know where he is!”
              Charley suffered through the harsh interrogation and remained silent, since he was literally just a defenseless plant and couldn’t do anything else.
              Phoenix asked “Did you honestly believe a plant was going to tell you were I was at? You’re acting stranger than usually today.”
              Maya dropped the plant, spilling more dirt out in the process, then spun around and found Phoenix actually sitting at his desk for once. The loud thump of the plant plot hitting the floor alerted Pearls and she ran into the room to make sure Maya was okay.
              Pearls spotted Phoenix and said “Mr. Nick! We have something important we want to talk to you about!”
              A pit in Phoenix’s stomach began to form as he saw them both wearing a determined look on their face. When they teamed up like this there was no way for him to escape whatever conversation they wanted to have.
              Phoenix asked “What do you want to talk about?”
              Maya leaned against Phoenix’s desk and said “Well your crush of course!”
              Phoenix felt his cheeks slightly warm up “C-Crush? I don’t have a crush.”
              And at that moment several psyche-locks appeared around him clearly contradicting his statement.
              Pearls brought out a Magmata “Good thing I brought this. I thought something like this might happen.”
              Pearls chucked the Magmata at Phoenix and yelled “Take that!”
              As the Magmata collided with Phoenix’s chest he let out a loud “OOOW!”
              And it was time for them to break the psyche-locks! The first question was who was Phoenix’s supposed crush they were referring to? This was simple enough for them to answer; all they had to do was present Edgeworth’s profile to him. The girls caught a glimpse of Phoenix’s face tinted a light red color, before he asked for evidence to back up this claim. Then Maya pulled out Wright’s Sketchbook revealing all of his drawings of Edgeworth inside and she began to smack a page of a book similar to how Phoenix would smack a sheet a paper during a trial proving a contradiction in a witness’s testimony.
              Maya and Pearls didn’t know it was possible for a human to turn as bright red as Phoenix was now. He looked like a bright big tomato, but there was still one lock on him and they had one final question they had to solve for him.
Who or what was preventing him from asking out Edgeworth?
              It seemed like a simple answer why it is probably the fear of ruining the friendship of course, but they tried that and it failed. The lock still remained on him, so it had to be some deeper more personal reason for hiding his feelings for Edgeworth along with the fear of ruining a friendship.
              Maybe it had to do with something with a past relationship, past relationships could negatively affect people in future ones, they had seen something similar like that happen on a TV show once. But had either Maya or Pearls seen him in his last relationship? In all the time they worked with Phoenix had they even seen him in a relationship in general?
              Maya whispered to Pearl “I wish we could phone a friend like on those game shows, when we didn’t know the answer to a question.”
              Pearls rubbed the bottom of her chin as she thought before she excitedly whispered to Maya “We can call someone!”  
              Before Maya could ask what she met by that the next moment she saw, her sister, Mia standing before her dressed like Pearls. Maya thought that’s what Pearls meant! She called Mia for help!
              Mia stated “I think I can handle this question from here Maya.”
              Mia faced Phoenix and whipped out Dahlia Hawthorne’s profile.
              She stated “If I remember correctly the last girl you dated was Dahlia Hawthorne wasn’t it? That woman who hated you and planned to murder you, but you never saw her true nature until much later since you were naïve and blinded by young love. Isn’t that correct? Dahlia traumatized you after that incident didn’t she? That’s why you’ve haven’t dated since that incident because you’re so scared that you will be hurt more.”
              The pit in Phoenix’s stomach grew; since Mia had been his mentor for so long she could read him like a book. He will admit he’s scared. He’s terrified He’s afraid of getting attached in the end and getting hurt even worse. That’s the real reason why he’s avoided dating for so long because he’s terrified about what would happen.
              He felt a hand on his shoulder and another hand wiping away tears from his eyes.
               Phoenix looked up into his mentor’s eyes and listened to her words “Don’t let this event prevent you from getting the things you want. Learn from it and don’t let your past hold you back it’s the only way you’ll move forward in the world. It’ll take time for you to get over that event, but you’re surrounded by friends who care for you Phoenix, don’t ever forget that.”
               Through his tears Phoenix managed to say “T-Thank you Mia.”
              A small smile spread across Mia’s face and she turned to her sister “I believe my job is done here. I think it is Pearl and your turn now to help take care of him Maya.”
              Maya hugged Mia “We will, and Mia?”
              “Yes?”
              “I really miss you.”
Mia planted a kiss on top of Maya’s forehead “I miss you too.”
              Once their hug had ended Mia left and Pearls was back in her place. Tears stained Phoenix’s face and the girls rushed over to comfort him. Maya and Pearls that day made a vow to Nick to always be his best friends and be by his side when he needed comfort. And when Phoenix was ready they would one day help him court a certain Prosecutor.  
……………
              Maya ran ahead and pointed to a small café “Here it is Nick! This is where you will be meeting Edgeworth today!”
              The café was stuck in between a sparkling boutique that displayed expensive looking clothes in their windows and a flower shop decorated with an assortment of different colored flowers in the front of it. The café itself however had a chalkboard stand outside displaying their special offers and huge windows covered most of the front of the café to allow any passersby to glance inside the establishment. It was a relatively calm time to visit the café since there was only a couple customers in the restaurant. There were two friends chatting at a table, a lady quickly typing away something at her computer and a man sipping his drink and staring out the window at and observing the people walking along the streets.
              Phoenix responded “Seems like a nice place. How’d you guys convince Edgeworth to meet me here anyway?”
              Pearls appeared next to Phoenix and replied “Mr. Nick, we can’t reveal that information!”
              A perplexed looked appeared on his face “Why?”
              Maya posed dramatically next to Pearls and stated “It is part of are wingman duty to keep our techniques secret!”
              Secret techniques? What exactly are these two girls planning for me? Phoenix pondered before he was broken from his thoughts at the sound of a new voice.
              “How are you doing pal?”
                             Pal? Why did that word seem familiar?
Phoenix glanced at the owner of the voice “Detective Gumshoe? What are you doing here?”  
Gumshoe replied “Maya and Pearls asked me to contact Edgeworth for your,” Gumshoe awkwardly rubbed the back of his head,” umm to confess your feelings correct?”
Phoenix’s face was on fire from how embarrassed he was “You told him?!”
Pearls responded “Of course so Mr. Nick! He needed to know why it was so urgent for you to meet with him.”
                Phoenix covered his burning face with his hand; this situation seemed to get more embarrassing as it went on.
              Gumshoe patted Phoenix’s back “Don’t worry Pal I didn’t tell Edgeworth about your crush on him. I told him you two have important business to discuss. It’s your responsibility to admit your feelings for him.”
              Pearls stated “I believe if anyone can do it, Mr. Nick can do it!”
              A small smile crept onto Phoenix’s face at Pearl’s faith in him “Thanks Pearls.”
              Gumshoe looked in the other direction “Looks like Edgeworth has finally shown up.”
              They all turned their attention to a silver haired man adorning his signature magenta jacket with the rest of his attire. He got out of his car and was now walking towards the café to meet up with Phoenix.
              Maya said “Nick I think this is your cue to go chase after a certain prosecutor,” before she gave him a wink and pushed him in the direction of the one and only Miles Edgeworth.
…………………….
              Edgeworth and Phoenix sat at a table near the entrance of the café sipping their drinks, when Edgeworth suddenly asked “So what important business did you want to discuss with me Wright?”
               Phoenix’s heart began to beat a little faster, he could do this. He just has to confess his feelings for a man he likes, why would that be so hard?
              He replied “Actually, it’s not about business at all,” a nervous smile appeared on Phoenix’s face as he rubbed the back of his head,” I wanted to talk to you about something personal.”
              Edgeworth took a sip of his drink and raised an eyebrow in curiosity “What is it?”
              Phoenix took a deep breath and responded “Well I wanted to confess to you that I really like-“
              Then suddenly a loud “EDGEY-POO,” interrupted Phoenix’s confession.
              Phoenix didn’t even need to look at the owner of the voice to know who it was all he could think right now was are you kidding me? This has to happen to me now?
               Everyone in the café was alerted by the yell and turned to see Oldbag running towards Edgeworth at hyper speed.
              Edgeworth’s eyes flew open and yelled “Not you again!”
              Before Edgeworth could flee the scene Oldbag wrapped an arm around his shoulder which prevented him from leaving his chair.
              Oldbag leaned in closer to Edgeworth’s face and asked “Did you miss me Edgey-poo?”
              The sudden proximity of their faces made Edgeworth extremely uncomfortable and he turned to face out the window behind him trying to silently plead to any passerby outside to help him from this insane women.
              Edgeworth stated very clearly “No, not at all”
              Meanwhile this conversation was happening Phoenix pondered what the heck just happened in the last five seconds to cause things to be like this? Is this a sign the world doesn’t want me to confess my feelings?
              Phoenix broke from his thoughts when he felt someone poke his shoulder from the table behind him. He turned around and saw Detective Gumshoe, Maya and Pearls trying to disguise themselves with comically large newspapers while they watch the event unfold from behind him.
              Pearls whispered” Mr. Nick! I read in a book once you need to fight your romantic rival for Mr. Edgeworth’s love or otherwise she’s going steal him away from you!”
              Phoenix whispered back “I’m not going fight an old lady!”
              Maya rolled up her sleeves “Then I’ll do it! In order to be the ultimate wingman for you Nick I’ll defeat her and get her away from Edgeworth.”
              Pearl stated “I’ll help you too Mystic Maya! I want to help be the ultimate wingman too!”
              Detective Gumshoe said “Count me in too.”
              Phoenix frantically whispered “Wait Detective Gumshoe you’re the law! You shouldn’t condone this type of behavior.”
              Gumshoe stated “Protecting Edgeworth is more important to me than following the law now!”
              The three of them hop up from their seats at their table and they begin their attack on OldBag. Maya and Pearls ran over to the other table and used their combined strength to pry Oldbag off of him. The old lady scowled at the two girls at their rudeness; however she didn’t punish them and attempted to go back Edgeworth when she was met with Phoenix Wright standing in her way.
              Oldbag ordered “Move out of the way whippersnapper! I was talking to him.”
              Phoenix corrected her “Actually I was talking to him first, so if anything you interrupted my conversation. And second of all, he clearly seems uncomfortable by your presence and he obviously doesn’t want to talk to you. So I think it’d be better for everyone right now if you just left.”
              Oldbag raised her left fist in the air “I’ll show you a thing or two, punk if you keep acting like that!”
              Suddenly a click sound was heard near Oldbag’s right wrist and a handcuff was placed on it.
              Detective Gumshoe grabbed Oldbag’s left hand and placed the other hand cuff on it “I’m sorry ma’am but your causing a scene in the café so I’m going have to remove you from the area.”
              Oldbag tried to break free “I’m not causing a scene! If anything, this spiky haired attorney is the one causing the scene!”
              Gumshoe dragged Oldbag out of the café and replied “No, he was just sticking up for someone he cares about.”
              Edgeworth got up from his seat and walked over to the three of them “Thank you for your help everyone. That lady was truly something.”
              Maya responded “No problem Edgeworth we were happy to help, but I think Nick still has something important to confess to you.”
              He can’t believe Maya still wants him to confess after they literally just saw Oldbag dragged out of this place in handcuffs, this wouldn’t be one of the most ordinary confession story, but none of them were normal people so if anything something like this should have been expected.
              Phoenix finally confessed “I really like you Edgeworth.”
              Edgeworth looked confused at this confession “You do know we’ve been friends for a long time Wright? I would hope you would like me as your friend by now.”
              Pearls exclaimed “No Mr. Edgeworth! I made the same mistake as you too, but Mr. Nick means he likes you romantically!”
              Edgeworth sits in silence for a moment and makes sure he heard it correctly and mumbles out “Romantically?”
              Pearls replied “Yeah! Being romantic is like when two people trust each other a lot, go on dates together, and kiss each other a lot! I think that’s what Mr. Nick wants to do with you.”
              Maya glanced over at the two blushing men not daring to meet the other in the eye “I think you broke them, Pearls.”
              Pearls let out a little gasp and apologized “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to!”
              Maya replied “I think they’ll be fine Pearls, but our jobs as wingmen are done for today. I think Nick and Edgeworth can handle it themselves from here.”
              The girls left the café and only an attorney and a prosecutor remained. It took them a while before either got the confidence the look each other in the eye. Phoenix seemed to cover his face with his hands in embarrassment and Edgeworth seemed to stare at everything besides Phoenix’s face.
              It took a couple minutes before Edgeworth stated “I wouldn’t be opposed to going out with you.”
              Phoenix quickly removed his hands from his face to see if Edgeworth was serious, but he was still avoiding Phoenix’s gaze.
              Phoenix tried to confirm what he heard “Are you telling the truth?”
              Edgeworth turned to face him and replied “Of course I’m telling the truth, I wouldn’t lie to you.”
              A huge smile formed on Phoenix’s face and he instinctively wrapped Edgeworth in a hug. He could feel Edgeworth stiffen up at first at the sudden contact, but then after a moment he slowly relaxed in the hug.
              Edgeworth explained “I haven’t ever really done this before, so forgive me if I’m slow at this relationship thing.”
              Phoenix replied “I haven’t done this in a long time actually, so I guess we can try to go at our own pace together, but I want to ask you something important. Is it okay if I kiss you right now?”
              Edgeworth’s face tinted a light pink and he mumbled out “Yes.”
              He pressed a light kiss against Edgeworth’s lips; and both the defense attorney and the prosecutor wore a face full of blush for the rest of the day because they were really happy and excited to see where this new blossoming relationship would take them.
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runningwolf62 · 6 years ago
Text
@wardencommanderrodimiss @pachelbelsheadcanon
Happy Phoenix gets disbarred day, have this. Hopefully Tumblr doesn’t crop it.
Credit to my brother for the “Dahlia commits tax fraud” joke.
Larry runs his hand through his messy brown hair and looks to Maya. She has too much experience in burying relatives. He wishes he could do this on his own, like Godot talked about. Protecting Maya for Misty. But this was too much for him to carry on his own.
“A small ceremony for just family and friends might be wise,” his voice is rough and Maya jumps a little when he speaks, “we can have a large, what do you call it for funerals? Is it still a reception?”
“After the funeral it’s a reception, before it’s a visitation,” she replies tiredly, Larry gets to his feet to head to his kitchen and get them both a drink of water.
Maya barely acknowledges it when he puts it in front of her, simply staring blankly at the papers before her. Larry sits down next to her and lets out a rough breath. They are too young to be doing this. Maya should not have had to bury this many family members.
“I- shit I have to be one to give all the speeches don’t I?” He’s only known her three months but that was more than Maya.
“I could channel my sis I guess but-” Maya swallows and reaches for the water, Larry moves to sit next to her.
“If you’re gonna channel people why not channel your mother to do all this paper work,” Larry jokes, Maya glances at him but doesn’t laugh. She doesn’t seem more upset though so Larry takes it.
“I could you know.”
“Huh?”
Maya is staring at her water not at him, “channel her. If you want to talk to her.”
Larry stares at Maya and hesitates. What does he say? He wants to see Misty, he does. To ask for explanations, to say goodbye, for any final guidance but Maya looks exhausted.
“I think we’ve all had enough of channeling for a bit?” Larry says instead and Maya huffs softly in what sounds like agreement.
“I would like to talk to her, at some point. But not now.” There’s so much to say to her but so much to now.
Larry pulls a paper to him and starts trying to fill forms out.
“Are you mad at Nick?”
Larry looks up from the form he’s trying to understand to Maya, “no? Why would I be?” He and Nick have things they need to talk out but now’s not the time when he’s this exhausted emotionally and Nick’s busy.
“For defending Go- Diego.”
Larry sucks a breath in through his teeth and sets the paper back down. “Not really.” He runs a hand through his hair and tries to find the words to explain, “I’d- I don’t know how mad I am him honestly. Like yeah he killed her but she-” he cuts off and looks away from Maya.
“What?” Maya pokes his shoulder with one finger, “What?”
“She died trying to save you,” Larry mumbles as though that will take the sting out of his words. Maya looks startled but not hurt so maybe it does. “If anything I’m mad at her I think! Like, how is this fair?” And that’s what it boils down to, Larry doesn’t know how to feel about the fact that he knew Misty better than Maya had.
That she’d had the chance to meet her daughter and instead died for her.
Not even his fanfiction can help with this.
-
Stripes?
Hey Wolfman
Don’t die, funerals are a pain in the ass to plan
I will become immortal just for you
‘ppreciate it
-
Larry stops off with Maya at Nick’s office, it’s not like Godot is sitting there drinking coffee, he’s in jail and it’s just Nick sitting in his office, probably avoiding paperwork.
But the smell of the coffee lingers on Nick’s shirt, or maybe just in Larry’s imagination, and he’s quiet as Nick and Maya talk.
Honestly they’re all quiet. Maya’s trying to get excited for something she and Nick are talking about, Steel Samurai or something, but Larry can see her struggling.
He coughs quietly, “I’m gonna go.” Edgeworth’s lent him a couch in his apartment while Larry and Maya deal with the funeral and cleaning out Elise’s place and Larry looks into moving somewhere new because he doesn’t need to live close to Elise now.
Misty.
Fuck.
Nick nods and Maya wishes him a good night. He gives a small smile and wave and heads out. Maya and Nick will help each other.
He flicks his phone to see that WolfDragon is still offline (good he should be sleeping) and send Edgeworth a text that he’ll be there soon.
He slips the phone back in his pocket and stands outside the Wright and Co offices a moment longer, wondering that if he just started screaming until his voice gave out if Gumshoe would just let him off with a warning.
Deciding luck has not been favorable towards him lately he heads for his car instead.
-
Edgeworth looks up from the book he’s reading as Larry comes in, “have you eaten?”
“No. Nick and Maya were talking about getting something but…” Larry felt like he was imposing. Edgeworth just hums and points to the fridge.
Larry opens it to find Edgeworth’s snagged him leftover spaghetti. He debates just eating it cold but the knowledge that Edgeworth would never let him live it down convinces him otherwise.
He watches it spin around in the microwave, Edgeworth still silently reading.
“Did you stay up just to see that I got back?” He hesitates, is Edgeworth starting to squint at the page? “Maybe you should take a break, let your eyes get some rest.” Had his dad needed glasses? God Larry couldn’t remember anymore.
Edgeworth shakes his head but sets the book to the side, “I had reading I wanted to do. However yes, I may have positioned myself to make sure you got in safely.”
Larry shakes his head, “you can just say yes Edgy.” He turns to check the time on the microwave, “thanks man.”
There’s a pause before Edgeworth says, “You’re welcome.”
The microwave beeps and Larry pulls out the plate and sets it at the counter across from Edgeworth who’s gone back to squinting at his book. Larry’s not going to be the one to tell him he might want to think about glasses.
He tucks in and after a few bites his appetite returns full force and he has to struggle to not shove it down his throat in a horrifying display that would undoubtedly end with Edgeworth throwing him out.
Edgeworth says nothing though, simply continue to read, Larry finally takes in the book he’s reading.
“Edgy?”
“Yes?”
“Are you reading about how to do Oragami because-“
Edgeworth snaps the book closed to glare at him and Larry shuts his mouth. He looks away from Edgeworth first.
“You’ve heard that story about paper cranes right?”
Edgeworth lets out a sigh, “who hasn’t?” He shakes his head, “I doubt folding a thousand paper cranes is any more likely to grant a wish than eyelashes or pennies.”
Larry nods and pushes his plate to the side, “I guess it’s just nice to think, you know, if we put that much passion and energy into something we could somehow seize control of our fate for just one moment.”
Edgeworth startles a moment before nodding. He sets his book to the side and visibly wrestles with something before he finally speaks.
“I’m sorry. It’s very clear that your apprenticeship was good for you and that you’ve grown as a person and I’m sorry that it was, that she was taken from you.”
Larry wants to thank him, to cry, to scream, because god, that’s all he’s wanted; the respect Miles is showing him now.
So of course something else comes out of his mouth.
“Do you ever,” Larry pauses and takes a deep breath, “do you ever feel like you killed him?”
Miles pauses and looks to Larry, “what?”
“Your dad. And I don’t mean the part where you thought you’d caused the gun to go off like-”
Miles considers it and looks over at him, “yes. I’ve been told it’s a normal part of grief.”
“Who told you that?”
“A therapist.”
Larry lets out a weak laugh, “maybe I ought to get one. I just worry they’d get murdered and I’d be accused of doing it.”
“Larry.”
“You said it yourself, I bring misfortune down-”
“Larry-”
“I can barely look at Maya and I worry Nick blames me you know? Like it’s not my fault but Maya should’ve gotten to know her mom and didn’t but I did and I know he holds that against me-”
“Wright does not-”
“Objection!” Larry looks at him now, Edgeworth’s pushed the book to the side and his steel eyes have softened, “do you really think he doesn’t hold that against me Edgy?”
“It would be utterly illogical to hold that against you,” Miles replies firmly, “Misty Fey made her choices and you were as much a victim as Maya.”
“You’ve seen Nick in court he doesn’t use logic.”
Miles laughs at that but looks at Larry gently, “but he reaches the truth all the same. You are not responsible for what happened. Any part of it.”
Larry wonders what it would be like to be as in love with someone as Edgy is with Nick.
“Thanks.” He runs a hand through his hair and kind of shakes himself, “I didn’t mean to unload all of that on ya.”
Edgeworth shakes his head though, “it is… wise to talk about these things.”
Larry reaches over and claps Edgeworth on the shoulder, “still. Thanks.”
Edgeworth actually smiles and Larry pulls his hand back and lets out a rough breath.
“We’re thinking of making the funeral a private affair and having a reception for other authors, friends and fans.” Larry lets out a rough breath. Shit he’s got speeches to write.
In the silence that follows Pess stirs from next to Edgeworth’s legs and comes around to see Larry, her claws clicking on the floor.
“Hey girl,” Larry runs a hand through her soft fur, she’s like a big walking cotton ball, “you’re so big and fluffy.”
“She’s a puppy still actually,” Edgeworth gets to his feet as Larry continues to play with his dog, “my sister recommend I get one for companionship and emotional support and a breeder she’d bought from had just had a litter so…”
“Wait.” Larry looks up from the dog now, “is this the sister that has the niece that has the dog named Phoenix?”
“It’s her daughter technically-”
“You know what I-” Edgeworth shuts him up by showing him a picture of a young girl with her arms wrapped around a fluffy orange dog.
“Oh my god it’s adorable.” He tries and fails to smother a laugh, “smaller than Pess though.”
“They’re two separate but similar breeds and the breeder my sister got from has lines for both.”
Larry glances at Pess and considers that this dog is likely worth more than he is, “I see.”
“Yes, my niece’s dog is a German Spitz while Pess is a Keeshound.”
"A Casehond."
"Keeshond."
“Case Hound."
"No."
“Case Haunt. Croissant.”
“Stop.”
Larry is laughing though and while Edgeworth is shaking his head Larry gets the impression he’s not actually angry at him or his antics.
Edgeworth considers his dog a moment longer before he looks at Larry. “Come on, she needs a walk and-” Pess shoots to the front door, “and some exercise would be good for both of us.”
“Alright.” Larry gets to his feet, he wouldn’t mind spending some time with Edgeworth and just kind of roaming.
-
Larry walks alongside Edgeworth, the silence just slightly awkward but neither of them seem eager to break it.
“We all just have shit luck with mentors,” Larry finally says, Edgeworth smothers a laugh.
“You aren’t wrong.”
Larry looks at him and his mouth twitches, “someday I’ll say something you’ll have to admit is right.”
Edgeworth looks unconvinced but Larry is pretty sure it’s with some fondness. He needed to work on rebuilding his friendship with Nick like this. Get to a more comfortable place.
The park is largely deserted at this hour, the unseasonably cool air must’ve kept most people inside. Larry drops onto a bench and pulls out a small sketch book and a pencil.
He normally didn’t like people watching him draw but he makes no effort to shoo Edgeworth away as he sketched the city skyline through the trees. His goal is just a messy sketch finished in five minutes, the focus on shapes and conveying details without fine details.
He shows the finished effort to Edgeworth, “just a drawing exercise, no body flying over a burning bridge…”
“You’ve got a lot of talent,” Edgeworth smooths the awkwardness of his morbid joke, “I’m glad to see you using it.”
“Thanks Edgy.” He smiles slightly, “I’ll be honest though, I should really work on faces, not backgrounds.” He had gotten a lot better but he needed to keep at it.
“Oh?”
“Yeah Nick was always better at faces, I did backgrounds really well.” Because he was trying to avoid drawing cats. Occasionally he’d slipped big cats into his art just to use those skills- oh Big Cat AU. That would be a fun drawing exercise and produce some content for his fanfic.
“I wanted to ask you about that.” Edgeworth seems to hesitate before he sighs, “about Dahlia.”
“Oh fuck her,” Larry sprawls out, “in life she was a bitch and death didn’t stop her.” He leans his head back, “okay so you know Nick became a lawyer to save you right?” Which was one of the gayest things he’d ever heard.
Edgeworth nods and Larry looks over at him, “so he’s studying law… on the side.”
“I read the case file.” Edgeworth cuts in, Larry grins at that.
“Oh okay stop roasting Nick got it.” He runs a hand through his hair, “so what do you want to know?”
Edgeworth shakes his head, “how none of you noticed and why… why after all that he’d still go to such lengths to defend Iris?”
Larry snorts and shakes his head. “Look I know you studied at the finest schools in Germany and all that,” he shifts his leg so Pess can get under the bench to sniff around, “but for those of us who went to public university in America it is simultaneously the smartest and stupidest times of most people’s lives. No I didn’t question the girlfriend Nick was always with, thought it was grossly sappy and I didn’t think they were gonna get married or anything.” He makes a face, “and the pet names were disgusting but look man, Nick’s not bad looking, and she was pretty too. They seemed to like each other. No I didn’t think she was secretly the twin of a psychopath or- no Dahlia’s just a petty- anyway no.” He lets out a rough breath, “kicked my own ass for that enough. My best friend gets framed for murder by his girlfriend, who tried to poison him, and I never even thought anything was wrong.”
Pess shoves her head between his legs, Larry ruffles her ears and then shifts before she can tangle the leash around his legs.
There’s a moment of silence and then Larry adds, “and the whole time she was committing identity theft so-” and that makes Edgeworth actually laugh.
Larry joins in and Pess adds a happy bark, her tail wagging furiously behind her.
“Hey hot shot prosecutor does that count as tax fraud or…” Larry wheezes and Edgeworth is clearly struggling not to laugh harder.
“You cannot accuse Dahlia Hawthorne of every crime that ever existed.”
“You can’t prove she didn’t commit arson.”
“Larry!”
It’s not funny, it’s really not but it’s the way Larry’s trying to make this conspiracy theory work and the way Edgeworth can’t keep a straight face long enough to be his straight man that makes it hilarious. Or maybe it’s just that he needs something to laugh at in all this.
Once they pull themselves back together Larry rubs at his eyes. “I think you had another question?”
Edgeworth pauses and Larry cuts in, “and not ‘what’s wrong with you’.”
“I would not have-” Edgeworth shakes his head, “why after all that Wright would do so much for Iris?”
“She didn’t commit arson.” Larry loses the battle against his grin as Edgeworth glares at him, before he answers more seriously.
“One of Nick’s strengths is his loyalty,” he gestures between the two of them, “it’s why he still puts up with us.” Despite all the Edgeworth had done and Larry’s own various shortcomings. “I don’t know if he just sees the best in people or if he’s too stubborn but Nick’s loyalty is hard to lose.” He would know.
Edgeworth nods in agreement and Larry leans back against the bench. “But as loyal as he is to friends there was only two people Nick would've done anything for," Larry glances over at Edgeworth, "Dahlia was one of them."
"Who was the other?" Edgeworth asks and Larry takes the moment to reflect that he was considered the stupid one of the three of them.
"Come on Edgy don't make me spell it out for you."
"Oh of course. Maya."
That's it Larry is going home. Or back to Edgeworth’s apartment. Shit. He just sighs and leans back against the park bench to watch the sunset reflect off the city buildings.
-
The funeral is… something. Larry gives a speech, he remembers writing it, but he does not remember what he says because he looked over at Maya and just hated that he’d gotten to know her mother for four months and that was more than Maya had been allowed to have.
The visitation is alright. He knows some of the authors that show up. He’s glad Maya can stick close to Nick he wheels through the crowd playing host and hoping no one can tell he just wants to scream.
They bury Misty next to Mia, Maya cries into Nick while Larry stares blankly at the grave. It’s real. This is real.
The next thing he remembers clearly is waking up on the floor of Edgeworth’s kitchen. Pess licks at his face and whines, he groans and forces himself off the floor. Well he’s clothed so that’s good. He’s also not that… hungover… Oh.
He looks to see Edgeworth sitting at the kitchen table and rasps, “please don’t judge me.” He’s entitled to, Larry spent the time after the visitation crying himself almost sick, did maybe two shots of vodka, laid down on the floor to cry more and passed out.
Edgeworth looks up from the newspaper at him, “that was hardly the worst thing I’ve ever seen anyone do in the name of grief.”
Larry slowly pulled himself to his feet, his head throbbed in tempo with his pulse.
Edgeworth got to his feet and got out a glass, Larry flinched at every sound but gratefully downed the glass of water Edgeworth put in front of him.
“Between the crying and the drinking you’re probably dehydrated. There’s advil in the medicine cabinet.”
Larry blinked gratefully at him, “do you mind if I lay in bed all day and maybe steal your dog to pet?”
“Take a shower first.”
Larry runs a hand through his hair and groans, “sounds good.”
-
Are you handling things okay (edited)
Stripes?
Hey Wolfman
Sorry for the late reply, you’re probably asleep but yeah. The funeral was rough. But yeah I’m okay.
Do you want to talk about it
No
Tell me about Warriors
Bramblestar has rabies is the hot new meme
What?
We got the description of book 2 of series 7 and Bramblestar’s going to lose a life and start acting weird and the fandom decided he has rabies.
I read enough 2006 fanfiction to know that he’s obviously been possessed by Tigerstar’s ghost.
I will stage a revolt and establish you as the series’ new writer if they bring him back again
Okay please tell me that exhaustion is making me misread things and one of the protagonists is not named Shadowpaw
Unfortunately he is
WHY
It gets worse
Oh no
His parents are Dovewing and Tigerstar the second
Oh god no they made him leader
Larry has gently encouraged Wolfdragon to ramble, well rant, about Warriors for half an hour when Edgeworth knocks at the door.
“I’m not dead,” Larry calls back, Edgeworth pushes open the door.
“Are you up to eat something for lunch?”
“Not Eldoons I don’t think,” Larry glances to his phone, Wolfdragon’s still typing something about wasted character potential by bad plots and back to Edgeworth, “but yeah probably.”
-
Sorry, gotta go, but if they kill Bramblestar in a bullshit way I’ll get rabies.
If you or a loved one has contracted rabies from Warrior Cats you might be entitled to financial compensation
Pfft See ya Wolfman
Night Stripes!
Oh yeah it’s like close to midnight for him. Edgeworth is waiting in the hallway when Larry stumbles out, his head hurts less and he aches in his chest but he could do lunch. He can pretend to be a human.
“Who are you texting?” Edgeworth asks curiously, Larry shrugs slightly.
“A friend.”
“Who is she?”
Larry gave him a dirty look, “he’s just a friend. We talk about books and shit.”
Edgeworth lifts his eyebrow, “what books?”
Larry steps back, “what am I, on trial?”
“You’re hiding something,” Edgeworth replies firmly, “and I am…”
“Aww are you worried about me?”
“Given the spiel you said in court, yes.”
Oh. Well that is his fault. Larry hesitates a moment, debating and lets out a breath. “You… can’t tell Nick okay. I met this guy writing fanfiction.”
Edgeworth looks so incredulous a moment that Larry regrets it immediately. “You…”
“I know.” Larry shoves his hands in his pockets, “but that’s why I thought about writing in the first place and he encouraged me to try and then Misty took me as her apprentice and he’s been checking in on me.”
Edgeworth is just staring at him and Larry is tempted to start rambling again but he’s afraid he’ll confess that it’s 1) Warrior Cats fanfiction 2) he may have accidentally caused a bunch of people online to ship fictionalized cat versions of him and Nick and boy that would be a mistake.
“It’s not Steel Samurai fanfiction is it?” Edgeworth’s voice is strained and Larry stares at him a moment.
“Oh my god.”
“Answer the question.”
“You used to read-”
“Answer the question!”
Larry’s head hurts as he laughs, Miles Edgeworth read Steel Samurai fanfiction. “Don’t worry,” he finally wheezes out, “I don’t write Steel Samurai fanfiction, you’re not secretly my number one fan.” He grins at Edgeworth, “no shame Edgy, it’s a fun hobby.” Just not one he expected Edgeworth to have.
Edgeworth looks away, “I expected as much, I would read the meta people put forth and occasionally someone would… run with an idea.”
“And once you get a taste for good fanfiction it’s kind of addictive,” Larry agrees easily, “even in a good series there’s moments to explore or just things there wasn’t enough time to explore.” Ah, Edgeworth probably read gen fic then. He rubs the back of his neck, “yeah I’m up for lunch. Nothing too strong and somewhere quiet…”
“I was thinking of going to Wright’s office to talk with him and Maya.” Edgeworth glances at Larry, “to check in on her.”
Larry nods and bumps against him, “yeah.” They need each other right now.
Pearl isn’t bouncing around the office but she does chirp a greeting to them. Larry makes a note to ask later if she wants to finish Into the Wild at some point.
Maya’s still quiet, still subdued but she offers them a small “hey.”
They make some small talk, all very subdued, before Maya gently tugs on his sleeve and Larry follows her away to the hallway.
The moment they’re there she wraps him in a hug, Larry starts before he returns it. She shakes against him, Larry wants to say something but that’s part of why he likes writing. He has time to think out the best words.
“I’m so sorry.” Is what he settles on, Maya clings to him before stepping back.
“Nick, Pearly and I are gonna go back to the Kurian Village for bit I just… I need to take care of her house, can you-“
“I can help,” Larry agrees immediately. “We should probably hire some cleaners,” he thinks about it, “let them uh, clean out all the trash and food and things and then just- we’ve got this.” It’s not as steady as he wants it to be. He’s not as steady as he wants to be.
Maya nods and swallows, “two more favors.”
“Yeah?”
“Uh, Pearly mentioned reading a book with you?”
“I was going to ask about that!” Larry perks up at that, some of the pressure in his chest easing, “I was just trying to distract her, does she want to borrow it? I’ve got most of the series but it’s just collecting dust, I’d love to give it to her so they actually get read and loved.”
Maya claps her hands together, “you would?”
“Yeah, I loved them and I’d love to see someone else love the series too,” Larry rubs the back of his neck and grins, “I hope she does.”
Maya nods quickly, “and I think she’d like to read with you again before we go.”
“I can do that.” Larry let out a breath, nothing bad. Nothing hard.
“One more favor.” Now Maya looks nervous and Larry swallows. Something prickles at him and he’s not sure he wants to agree to whatever Maya’s about to ask of him.
“I- The trial’s over. Nick got him 15 years on Second Degree Murder.”
Larry doesn’t know how to feel about that and nods jerkily.
“I want, I want us to go speak to him. Maybe have you talk to Mia or Mi- my mom.” Maya looks at him worriedly and Larry lets out a rough breath.
Despite himself he nods, “yeah. Yeah I can do that.”
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kayfarafey · 2 years ago
Note
Hiii! 5, 7, 14, 21, 24, 30, 42, 48, 65, 98
...remember THIS ask game?
5. Favorite Culprit?
removing dahlia from the equation because duh and lana because she barely counts, it’s probably godot because bttt is one of my favorite cases if not my absolute favorite, and his involvement in it + his confession in court is an incredible scene. i know bttt is INSANE and convoluted and some people say it has a few problems but i really do think its the perfect case to end the trilogy on and godot is just both a great culprit with a reasonable motivation and also has the most batshit motivations and does the most batshit things for no good reason which is very ace attorney. chefs kiss mwah single-handedly makes up for recipe for turnabout
special mention to the phantom because i actually really like the phantom plot sorry not sorry i love characters struggling with a lack of identity it’s the transgenderism of it all.
7. Favorite Design?
justine courtney!!! i wish they were normal about how breasts look and work in the ace attorney universe but it’s far from the worst offender. but the cloak. the gavel. the color scheme. the hair. just her whole goddess of law thing is fucking incredible. another special mention to tyrell badd and maria gorey oh my godddd i. changing my answer.
MARIA GOREY. listen i know porcelain doll goth girl but the plague doctor mask. the plague doctor mask!!!!!! she’s so creepy and wonderful and obviously ANOTHER special mention to courtney sithe they went insane with them they truly did.
14. Character you have the most headcanons about?
kay, easily. EASILY. i had to go to build-a-backstory for them and it was more than worth it. i could talk about them for hours. and will.
21. Did you ever read fanfictions? Which one is your personal recommendation?
actually i’ve never read a fanfiction in my life. anyway read pressure (pushing down on me) if you want a straight up better version of the original trilogy i am not kidding.
24. Your OT3?
kay/maya/franziska tbh. i think it would be edgeworth's worst nightmare and that alone makes it worth it. that and the image of franziska and her two little gremlins who love her so so so much
30. Character you’d push off a cliff with no hesitation?
id say lotta hart but i would never harm a woman. larry butz. he would probably be fine.
42. Unpopular opinion?
i think the idea of phoenix being a deadbeat dad during the 7yg and being drunk or high all the time sucks really bad and i much prefer "beanix as a disguise that phoenix sometimes loses himself in but has a support system to pull him out" to "beanix is phoenix's new normal and he's a miserable piece of shit for the entirety of the 7yg" like i don't want that for trucy at all and it's just not fun. i promise you you can do angst w/o substance abuse
48. Random fact people tend to forget that you wanna remind us of?
edgeworth is also scared of heights outside the elevator thing. phoenix prefers chicken sandwiches to burgers. i dont know if anyone actually forgets this but one of mia’s original character concepts was that she rides a motorcycle. iris and dahlia were six years old when they were taken away from kurain village and split up and mia would have been 10.
65. Outfit you’d like to wear?
i would be irresistible in furio tigre’s outfit ngl
98. Which character do you trust the least to pick out a movie for a movie’s night?
please literally everyone in the aa universe i dont want to watch an action movie for the love of god please don’t put on steel samurai again we’ve watched it four movie nights in a row. please. and if anyone puts on moozilla vs gourdy i’ll start eating bricks.
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livrelady · 5 months ago
Text
#ace attorney#aa#simon blackquill#miles edgeworth#maya fey#alternatively Blackquill made Fulbright transcribe and post his fic to ao3. I think he would find that very funny.#he would have to get permission from Edgeworth too he would just outright be like I want access to the internet so I can update my old stee#samurai fanfiction and Edgeworth would be like say no more#eli rambles#edit: GOT THE DATE WRONG. (X)
The most popular fic in the Steel Samurai fandom had an unexplained seven year hiatus only to update at like 3 am on December 21st, 2027. The author explains that they couldn’t update fic while in prison (huh?) but now that they’re off death row (WHAT??) they’ve transcribed seven years worth of writing (Jesus Christ). The update is 130k words long. Edgeworth and Maya don’t sleep that night.
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