#the fact that I’ve been on here for 14 years and you people haven’t changed a bit lol

[anjaelle]

Mini-Rant

It’s 2024 and some of you continue to show your asses.

I don’t think any black women familiar with how fandoms operate thought Challengers fics/art would center Tashi. And in fact I feel like most of us already knew you guys would try to write her out of the story.

Because, if anything, you guys are creatures of habit and always make sure to illustrate how disgusted you are by 1) Black female sexuality and 2) the thought of having media that you can’t center yourselves in.

And if you can’t center yourselves in it, you’ll absolutely go out of your way to make sure it’s still palatable to you. Sure, you might justify it by saying “Heteronormativity is so boring, gay ships are more interesting.” But it’s always telling when you only ever want to see queer ships with two white people in it, even if a PoC is an option.

And it’s even more telling when polyamory including this BW would still be considered interesting/queer, but that would mean involving someone you can’t self insert as or fetishize :/

I’ve already seen takes of people saying they’d write Tashi out and just make it about Art and Patrick, as if the story would even exist without Tashi.

With all the stories that currently exist about white men fucking each other, pick any of those and you’ll get exactly what you wanted.

[two-braincells-in-total]

Why I love Juliette Ferrars and you should too

It doesn’t matter if you’re a Juliette hater or supporter, please read this, I spent a lot of time on it, and it’s important to know who the main character of the book we’re reading really is for the sake of truly understanding the book.

I somehow ended up on a side of TikTok that’s filled with Juliette haters and I’m not happy about it. If Juliette has zero haters then I’m dead, so I decided to write a full analysis of her character throughout the series in the notes of my phone because that’s exactly what normal people do at 2 am (it was edited properly before posting btw). Buckle your seatbelts, we’ll be here for a while.

Starting off with Shatter me, book 1. At the beginning, Juliette is locked up, knows nothing about the outside world, she’s borderline insane. All she knows is what happened before she got sent to the asylum, which is what makes her think that her powers make her a monster (because of what happened to the boy when she was 14) or at least contributes for that mindset.

Many Juliette haters say that they dislike her because she’s whiny. I think the previous paragraph is enough to see how ridiculous that sounds, but I’ll elaborate because I’ve argued with some before and they didn’t find it enough. Now, let’s get back on the timeline to before the book even started (aka her backstory).

She’s a 17 yo with abusive parents who have isolated her since they found out about her powers. Not only that, but they made a point of showing her that they think she’s a monster, which is also contributing to the mindset of hers that I mentioned above. Her mother put her hand in the fire when she was FUCKING 6 YO to see if she was human enough to burn. I haven’t read Juliette’s diary, so I don’t know if we were told about other specific situations from her childhood like this one, because there wasn’t much info about her life with her adoptive parents in the books, except this one, but we were explicitly told that they’re abusive and can definitely say that shit like this happened all throughout her life with them, aka at least 14 yrs (before she killed that boy) and possibly up until she was 16 (that’s when she got locked up in the asylum. I say possibly because she spent a lot of time in detention centers, so I’m not sure if they had enough time with her for that, but if they did, they definitely used it), which is a lot of abuse when you do the math. Keep in mind all of the cruel kids and teachers during her earlier years. They add even more trauma.

This gives her a lot of reasons to develop mental health issues that some would describe as her being whiny. So, yes, it’s absolutely reasonable for her to feel insecure and sad for herself as she does in all books, especially in Shatter me and Unravel me. She’s a traumatized teenage girl acting like a traumatized teenage girl.

Thing is, she isn’t even as whiny as they make her out to be. I’m not saying she wasn’t at all, but it was a reasonable amount, considering her trauma. I know for a fact that if I was in her place, I would’ve been much more whiny and annoying, and this probably applies to all of us. She spent the page time she was in the asylum for to do that and she did throw several tantrums at the base with Warner, but she spent most of her time there pretending to adjust and she did it so well that she managed to fool Warner and escape with Adam. She was amazing during the time between them escaping and the end of the book. She really pulled herself together for that part of the book, so you can’t say she was whiny the whole time, because it would be straight up false information.

Moving onto Unravel me (I’ll talk about her relationship with Adam and how it changed her after I discuss her character on its own). She’s at Omega Point and has trouble adjusting. She’s relearning how to communicate and is still struggling with her trauma, which makes it harder for her to train her powers. She, again, has every right to be whiny, as they say, but she also gets the wake-up call from Kenji in this book. She pulls herself together and actually starts figuring out what her powers can do and she also starts building relationships with other members of the resistance, such as Winston, Brendan, Lily, Ian. This is a very important part of her character development, her finally getting people to help her stay pulled together and not fall apart, her making friends. There isn’t much else about this book individually, what I haven’t mentioned about it, I’ll talk about after I finish individual books, but it was a very important step in her personal growth.

The biggest jump in her character development happens in Ignite me. She was the most pulled together in this book and that’s why it’s most people’s favorite (plus the relationship with Warner).She fully takes control of her life and risks it all for a better world. She now has full control of her powers and knows they’re a strength, not a curse. She’s making plans to overthrow the Reestablishment and to change the world for the better and she wins the war at the end of the book. A huge part of this book is her relationship with Warner that I’ll talk about later.

Juliette in Restore me is a little bit different. She is the surpreme commander but is doubting herself all the time. She doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do and her insecurities come marching back into her head. She finally finds a piece of truth about her past and that really changes things. The state her character is in during the book is something that might’ve been annoying at first, but it was actually necessary. It shows that healing isn’t linear and that the fact that you were at a high point doesn’t guarantee that you won’t get low again. She might not have been as strong as she was in Ignite me, but that version of her was needed to build the final Juliette later on, and to show a realistic process of healing scars from a traumatic past.

Defy me shows how she got back up from the point she was at in Restore me. She was regaining her strength, managing to piece together the whole story of her past from beginning to end and finally finding Emmaline. I think this book is the best one in the series, not only because of the writing and plot, but also because of her character in it. She was determined to get out of Oceania and, even though Kenji and Nazeera helped her do it, she managed. She showed us how we shouldn’t give up, even when we fell from a high point. There is hope for a happy ending, there can a spark of happiness in dark times.

Imagine me Juliette lost her memories. We see her inner debate about doing her job vs helping people in need. We see that even when she doesn’t know who she is in the literal sense of the word, she still has that piece of her that wants to help people, to be kind. When she gets back her memories, she finally makes things right. This is the end of her character development.

Let’s get to the three main relationships that she forms throughout the series, the ones that contribute to her character development the most.

1) Her relationship with Adam – they meet in Shatter me and start dating almost immediately, which should’ve been the first red flag. She was a broken girl who knew nothing about the world and he was someone who wanted to protect her. He kind of has a savior mentality, always wanting to keep the people close to him safe, when it actually does them harm. This protective wing that he has over Juliette and him being immune to her powers give her the impression that she doen;t have them when she’s with him, that she’s a normal human. Notice how she thinks it’s the lack of powers that make her human. It’s important for the point I’m trying to get across.

All of this seems like the right thing to do in Shatter me, but the situation changes in Unravel me. We find out about Adam’s powers and how his relationship with Juliette isn’t as safe for his life as they thought. They start fighting and break up.

In Ignite me, Adam starts showing his red flags. He refuses to accept the fact that she doesn’t want him back. He keeps telling her that she shouldn’t take the chance that Warner is offering, he’s holding her back. Even she says it on multiple occasions.

The relationship was toxic but it was necessary for both of their character developments. They started off as two teenagers who didn’t know what love is, so they thought that the first act of kindness someone shows them is love. The fact that she didn’t want or need to be protected anymore didn’t fit the narrative and they weren’t complementing each other anymore. Both of them said and did thing they shouldn’t have, not only him, but also not only her. It was bound to fail, but it thought both of them something and it sets us up for personal growth for both of them. They both found someone who they made it work with (Warner and Alia) and ended it on good terms. If it wasn’t for the failed relationship, Adam wouldn’t have learnt more about Warner and they woulnd’t have bonded as brothers later on.

The relationship was painful for both, but it was needed for the personal growth. Juliette realized that she doesn’t need to be protected and Adam swallowed his ego.

2) Her relationship with Warner – He was the first person to encourage her to use her powers to their full potential, the first to reassure her that they don’t make her a monster. That’s exactly why she thought that getting closer to him was a moral slip. He reminded her of her monsterous side, unlike Adam, who she thought was her link to humanity.

Juliette haters sometimes say that she was playing with his feelings when she a) shot him in Shatter me, b) said Adam’s name in Unravel me and c) broke up with him in Restore me. Let’s discuss those three events.

a) I think he absolutely deserved the shot. He forced himself on her and even though he apologized, it was still wrong. She didn’t care about him at the time, she took advantage of the situation and saved Adam with the shot. Don’t get me wrong, I love Warner but he. Deserved. The shot.

b) She didn’t mean it maliciously. She just suddenly realized that she just broke up with Adam and it slipped from her mouth. The kiss was also a moral slip, she had a lot of those moral slips in Ignite me. Even though they weren’t kisses, she thought that her attraction to him was wrong. This is why she pushed him away every time they got close. It’s a trauma response. And this time it was a simple accident. She didn’t mean to say it. She didn’t mean to hurt him

c) This is the reason I hate Castle. He knew everything about Juliette from the very beginning. That’s why he sent Kenji to get her. He should’ve told her when she got to Omega Point, or at least when she became surpreme commander. By not telling her, he puts the blame on Warner and that’s why everything happened the way it did. And she was right to be angry. She took it out on Warner because that’s what Castle made it look like by making him tell her. It wasn’t Warner’s fault but it wasn’t Juliette’s either. They were kids who were put on the spot by the person who was supposed to guide them. Neither of them was at fault, especially not Juliette.

Warner’s relationship with Juliette was very important for her character development. He was constant reassurance and encouragement, and love. She needed that. The stages of their relationship and its ups and downs are similar to Juliette’s personal ones and I find this a very good parallel. He helped her get back up when she was low. He was a very important person in her life and really necessary for her personal growth, just as she was to him. They helped each other find out what love really is, because neither of them knew before they met.

3) Juliette’s friendship with Kenji – he was the person to tell her to get the fuck up and stop crying. He was the reason she took over her powers and got strong enough mentally to fight and win and rule. People might say that she only made it because of him and they’d be right, but that’s not a bad thing. We need other people to be the way we are. Nobody can make it on their own. That’s the point of their friendship.

Their friendship also showed us another side of her. In his POV we see on multiple occasions that he wouldn’t have made it without her either.

Here are some quotes from Kenji’s POV:

“No one really cares about my emotional state; no one but J, if I’m being honest.” – Reveal me

“I know if she could just see me, she’d know something was wrong and she’d come over here. I know she would.” – Reveal me

“I’ve tried talking to Castle or Winston – even Ian – but no one has ever clicked the way J does.” – Reveal me

“With her, it’s different. I never even realized how much I was missing until we really got to know each other.” – Reveal me

“She doesn’t have to say a word. I can look into her eyes and know she gets it.” – Reveal me

“She gives a shit about me in a way no one else ever has.” – Reveal me

“I hear some kind of shuffle, and my hear picks up. J always comes through. She always comes through.” – Reveal me

“But in an instant, her smile is gone. And when she goes suddenly pale, when her eyes pull together in concern – I feel the tiniest bit better. I know it’s strange, but there’s something reassuring about her reaction; it means that at least something is right with the world. Because I knew. I knew that, unlike everyone else, she’d see right away that I wasn’t okay. That I’m not okay. No superpowers necessary. And somehow, that means everything.” – Reveal me

There are more, but I think those prove my point. (Translation: My brain is turning off soon, so I gotta finish this instead of finding every single thing Kenji has ever said about J)

I think they’re pretty self-explanatory, but still – she cares about people. He explicitly says that’s what makes her a good leader. And we see that through her friendship with Kenji. He might’ve been the one to help her get it together, but she did the same to him, and we always overlook that fact. It’s a very important part of her character that I had to mention for this to be completed.

Before I finish this off, there are two more thing that I want to discuss. They are things Juliette haters say that I want to prove wrong.

1) “Juliette was stupid” – no she wasn’t. She was learning how to socialize again after isolation, that’s why she wasn’t socially smart, which is the reason they might think she was stupid. She was actually a very smart girl and the plans she made weren’t out of character. And they were working for a reason. The reason being – she’s. not. Stupid. Also, it’s not her fault no one ever told her anything!

2) “They would’ve made it without her, she wasn’t special. It might’ve been easier” – actually, they did need her. They wouldn’t have made it without Warner and he wouldn’t have participated if it wasn’t for her. Another thing is, Emmaline was directly related to her. And she was also part of the reestablishment’s plan. They wouldn’t have found where Emmaline was kept to take her down without Juliette. She was important to resistance. They needed her. Not because of her powers, but because of connections she brought them. She was also a very good leader, it’s just that nobody told her what she’s supposed to do. How is she expected to know how to do something that she’s never heard how to do before?

Something else about her is that no matter what she went through, she still managed to be kind. She was strong but she had a heart.

All in all, I think she was an amazing person, human-wise. She had every right to be ‘whiny’ in the beginning, so, no, this isn’t a good argument against her. As a character, she was incredibly written. Her character development wasn’t linear, she had ups and downs, which is something very realistic and it was also written well. She never felt ooc, she just healed realistically. Did she have flaws? Many. Some of them were small, others weren’t. But she was human. Imperfect. You say you want complex characters, imperfect characters, but you lose your shit when the fmc is actually complex and flawed.

The point of the series is that a past doesn’t define if you’ll do great things in your life. That’s up to you. And that, as I said, healing isn’t linear, so having low points doesn’t mean you won’t make it. The point of this series is Juliette’s growth throughout the books and for a good character arc to happen, you need a very flawed character to start with. That’s exactly what she is. I get not liking her as a person (actually I don’t) but you should really consider looking at her from the character angle. If you still don’t believe that what I said in this paragraph is true, then you really lack media literacy – you had 6 books, 5 novellas and this thing and if you still don’t get it, that sounds like a you problem.

Now, as a finale:

To other Juliette supporters – please tell me if I missed anything, or I interpreted something incorrectly.

To Juliette haters (or recently former ones, if this post made you doubt your first judgment) that hate her as a person, I have a question – do you dislike her because she isn’t likable, or is it just your internalized misogyny speaking?

DISCLAIMER 1: If you still don’t like her, I’m not going to fight you on it. We’re all entitled to our own opinions, I just wanted to put my point across and spark a little bit of thought process about her.

DISCLAIMER 2: This might be awfully written and maybe I’m a horrible at interpretations, I’m sorry. I know this is all over the place and chaotic (my teachers are crying rn), I’m sorry. I said everything I can say about her, and maybe I worded some things wrong, please correct me if it comes to it.

Bye!

3260 words on this, omg, longest thing I’ve ever written

[cheetochip]

I’ve been so embarrassed to post this, but honestly I’m too fixated on both it and GF rn

This AU is literally just the events of Gravity Falls with OC-inserts (There’s change tho I promise)

SO. Without further ado, introducing: Falling River AU

What is “Falling River?” This universe essentially takes place within the universe of Gravity Falls, although it’s years before Weirdmageddon and the Mystery Shack altogether. In fact it doesn’t even take place in Oregon.

In 1974 within the small town of Falling River, Arkansas (Population of 101) Beverly Cliffs visited his close family for the Fall season, the town is infamously known for strange activity including people just disappearing altogether. But, Falling River is a very religious town. His uncle, Orion, is the priest of the church down Main Street. He’s mostly excited to spend time with his cousin Dahlia and meets others along the way. He himself is an Atheist and doesn’t believe all the things happening until he actually sees it for himself. He meets friends, foes, and makes reconnections as he tries to piece together the history of this town. Luckily his family has his back.

-

Now I’ve left a lot of things out, and most of it is on purpose-

Why the 70’s? Personally the more vintage tone is a nice contrast to modern day media.

How is this related to Gravity Falls? Well, I’ll get to that in a moment.

To clarify about Bev himself, he’s trans, but was closeted through the first half of this AU (Age 14) But in the future he finally goes by the name Benjamin in 1981 (Age 21)

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You may have seen on an earlier post about an OC of mine, Ritch- Basically I created all of this just because back then, Ritch’s voiceclaim was Bill Cipher and I found it funny that they looked so similar anndddd boom: Here we are!

But who the hell is Ritch? This guy:

To how this relates to GF is because Ritch knows of Bill Cipher, and Bill knows of him. But they just haven’t crossed paths.

Because Bill was from the 2nd Dimension (Flatworld!) Ritch is from the 3rd

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I would also love to clarify that I myself am not religious so there are EXTREME out of proportion and inaccuracies all over the board. I mean, Ritch is literally a demon disguised as an angel that just doesn’t happen.

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Anyway, the reason why Ritch is such a threat, is due to his origins- He came out of nowhere, and was titled as a being of tranquility and peace, but he’s nothing close to that. No one has ever summoned him until one person: Orion. After leading him to believe that he could give him the peace he’s always wanted, Ritch tries to snuff him out and reveals his true nature. The whole reason for his television appearance was because when he was summoned for the first time- He needed a physical form. Before he was simply just a pair of eyes and wings, so an item sacrifice was necessary for him to become corporeal.

What makes Ritch different from Bill is morally, Bill wants to make a world where there are no restrictions, rebuilt for his own entertainment and for no one to get in his way of that (From what we know- Not TBOB compliant)

When it comes to Ritch, while he’s playfully and snarky he is way more sinister in what he does. Turns people against one another, leading them into insanity, considers himself above anyone and everyone, rather than toying with people he tries to wipe them out as FAST as he can. He enjoys inflicting pain on others, and it shows.

The only reason he hasn’t destroyed the dimension is due to the fact that a select few within Falling River placed a curse on him, sealing him away until the present time. Bill may have anger issues, but it takes even less to irritate Ritch, not as humorous either.

Why he exists is a complete mystery in itself, though some have theories that a warp in time caused a split of dimensions and brought manifestations of different emotions. Only the vessel they sprouted from has no emotions, just motives. Bottom line? Ritch isn’t supposed to exist.

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Oooookay that’s enough of me yapping, I have WAYYY more info and art but if anyone is actually curious just lmk

[twistedtummies2]

Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes - Number 14

Welcome to A Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes! During this month-long event, I’ll be counting my Top 31 Favorite Fictional Detectives, from movies, television, literature, video games, and more!

SLEUTH-OF-THE-DAY’S QUOTE: “You attacked reason. It’s bad theology.”

Number 14 is…Father Brown.

Originally created by author G.K. Chesterton, Father Brown is one of the most famous detectives in English literature. Having said that, I must immediately make a confession: I’m not THAT well-versed (perhaps surprisingly) with the original “Father Brown” short stories Chesterton wrote. I’ve read some of them; specifically, I’ve now read all the ones collected in the book “The Innocence of Father Brown.” (My favorite is “The Invisible Man,” which, for the record, has absolutely nothing to do with anyone named Griffin). However, beyond that, I’m not especially familiar with the original writing. I also have not seen either of the two English-language film versions I know about (one played by Walter Connolly, another by Alec Guinness), both of which were based on the story “The Blue Cross.” And I should also immediately state that I have seen only one episode of the TV series starring Kenneth More from the 1970s, which I know has been highly lauded in years since.

So…since it seems like I am unfamiliar with nearly EVERYTHING that has brought this character into popular culture…how DO I know Father Brown, and why is he so high on the list? Well, because there is one version of the character and his universe that I am VERY familiar with: the most recent TV series adaptation of the stories, which began in 2013 and is still going strong today (with a new season coming this year). This show, simply and appropriately titled “Father Brown,” stars Mark Williams (whom many may recognize for playing Mr. Weasley in the Harry Potter films). While it frequently changes a LOT from the original Chesterton stories, the show is still EXTREMELY good. In my opinion, it modernizes the stories in a way that is pretty decently handled, so that even if you haven’t read the originals, you can still get a lot out of what’s being given to you. The spirit of Chesterton’s work is still intact. Much of what I say here will be informed by Williams’ portrayal of the character, which is why I wanted to make all this clear right off the bat.

Father Brown is an example of what might be called “the busybody detective,” or even more appropriately “the accidental detective.” What I mean by this is that he’s not in any way officially tied to the police; in fact, the police frequently see him as a nuisance, who gets in the way of their work and often makes them look like fools. He also never makes a career or a proper hobby out of his detective work. Being a detective just…kind of happens to him. Father Brown, on the surface, is a simple and humble local priest; a God-fearing, God-loving man of the cloth who is charitable, good-hearted, and at times seems sort of fumbling and shambolic. He’s not someone, therefore, you’d expect would make a great sleuth.

A great sleuth, of course, is exactly what this mild-mannered Catholic priest is. Father Brown’s rather simple demeanor belies a steely will, an even more steely faith, and a very cunning and alert mind. He typically ends up playing detective not so much out of a desire to one-up the police or some obsessive desire, but simply because he notices something amiss and begins to question why that is. His greatest assets as a sleuth can be summed up as two simple attributes: common sense, and, above all, human empathy. Father Brown doesn’t necessarily look for fingerprints or psychoanalyze criminals like a forensic profiler, but simply notices things that don’t make sense and then tries to make sense of them. He uses his understanding of people’s personalities, looks at their character traits and ideals, and uses them to his advantage; if he feels it isn’t in someone’s nature to shoot in cold blood, he follows his instinct, and he’s usually proven correct. If he sees someone showing some weakness or vulnerability, he latches onto that to try and sway them. He tries to redeem his enemies more often than he tries to ruin them. Contrariwise, this man also knows when NOT to trust people. While he’s noble and forgiving, Father Brown isn’t a pushover. In fact, the Williams version is revealed to be a war veteran; he’s seen some action (and horror) in his lifetime. This, combined with his devotion to the confessional booth, means that he knows very well that people are not perfect. With that said, despite being a religious soul, he isn’t superstitious, and tries to be tolerant of others with different beliefs. In short, Father Brown seems to understand that good people are good people, and tries to find the good in everyone, even those he seeks to defeat. Whether you’re spiritual or not, he’s not only a good detective, but arguably a good role model: I think a lot of us wish we had a Father Brown in our lives.

Tomorrow, the countdown continues with Number 13!

CLUE: “Are you with me? You might even be way ahead of me.”

[shinyhappysims]

Onyeka Family Update #2

All the Oneyka kids are finally married, so I think now is a good time for another update.

As a treat, this update will be from Adaeze’s POV, because we love to hear from a fellow snarker. Long post ahead because I probably won’t be doing this for the Onyeka fam again and I want to give a semblance of a conclusion to some of their stories.

My parents Bre (66) and Chukwuma (69) Onyeka are living their golden years in Henford-on-Bagley. I would say they tried their best at raising us but I’m not so sure I believe that. My parents and I don’t talk much, which is more than okay by me. They’ve forgiven me for the whole “secretly applied to college, snuck out and took a bus an hour away and never came back” thing. It’s the fact that literally everything else I’ve done after feels like a personal attack on them and everything they taught me. That’s more their problem than mine, to be honest.

The oldest Nnadi (39) is married to Miguel (39). They have a staggering quiver of 13 arrows: Gideon (21), Ephraim (19), Shoshanna(17), Bartholomew (14), Abigail (12), Obadiah (10), Keturah (8), Solomon (6), Tirzah (5), Maranatha (4), Galilee (3), Naphtali (1), Ebenezer (0). Yes, I definitely knew all the names of my sister’s kids off the top of my head and didn’t stalk her Simstagram and write down the names just a few minutes before this. Nnadi is obnoxious. I’m not mincing my words because she’s never had the grace to do so with me. She’s literally the person people talk about when they say they don’t like Christians. But that’s amazing for her. She can claim persecution for her beliefs. My parents are so proud that they made her a perfect little doormat for Jesus. All of her kids so far seem to be the same way. Glory be, I guess.

Kelechi (38) and Sandrine (41) are the Pastor and 1st lady of Calvary Baptist Church in Brindleton Bay. They have 4 children: Faith (16), Daniel (9), Noah (7), and Grace (5). They are, in my opinion, true Christians. Kelechi always has been supportive of me and my siblings that aren’t the way my parents dreamed. As a pastor, he tries his hardest to give objective answers and uses the bible to support his advice, which has led to his popularity as a mentor. Calvary’s population has nearly doubled in his time as pastor. Kelechi and Sandrine were not intending to have such a large gap between Faith and Daniel. Their marriage was very strained in the first few years and they thought having another child would be the fix. Unfortunately, Sandrine had a battle with cancer. Luckily it was caught in the early stages and she pulled through, but the way Kelechi treated her during that time strengthened their relationship and they had more children because they actually loved each other now. If anyone deserves that happy ending, it’s them.

My twin and favorite sibling Chidi (36) is in an open domestic partnership with the lovely Sade (37). They live in San Myshuno and have no kids, and probably never will. Chidi is an attorney and Sade is an artist. For awhile, Chidi flew under the radar and didn’t make too many waves but that changed about 5 years ago. I think it was a combination of turning 30 and meeting Sade that made him want to stop trying to appease our parents and just live the way he wanted. Chidi is no longer a Christian. He wanted to stay one at first but the more he deconstructed, the more he realized it wasn’t a fit for him.

It’s me, Adaeze (36)! The Onyeka family failure—not at all. My parents just wish I was. When my husband Raj (38) isn’t being an absolute dreamboat he’s an art restoration specialist at the Simsonian Museum here in Newcrest. We have the coolest little girl named Kali (6) and I haven’t told anyone yet, but we have a second baby on the way! My parents have never met Kali and I don’t plan on letting them. Growing up is hard enough when you don’t have your own grandparents trying to drag you into a cult.

My sister Isioma (34) and her husband Anwar (36) are living their best lives in Del Sol Valley. They have 5 kids and are expecting number 6 anyday now: Imani (11), Aaliyah (9), Malik (8), and twins Layla and Rahim (4). Isioma has somehow mastered the balance between impressing Mom and Dad and doing whatever she wants. As much as I love her, there are just some things that I can’t talk to Isioma about. She’s nowhere near as bad as Nnadi, but I don’t think she realizes just how close minded she still is. She’s slowly getting better though.

(hi it’s kwanjai please ignore that Layla’s hair glitched black and the twin’s diapers aren’t changed it’s been a long day and I refuse to take this pic again lmao)

Jachike (32) lives in Windenburg with his wife Maisie (29). They have 7 children: Renata (9), Beaumont (7), Irving (6), Gwendolyn (5), Cordelia (2), Anneliese (1) and Hans (0). I’m fully convinced that they only got married because they were horny for each other and now they don’t know what to do except keep fucking and having more kids. They don’t really seem well matched in my opinion either. Growing up, Jachike was a down to earth, guy next door type, and Maisie just seems extremely out of touch. I mean… she named a child Hans. Maisie also mentioned she only wanted 8 kids, but she’s got a lot of child bearing years left, so I have no clue what her plan is.

Nnadi Jr. Ifeanyi (29) is married to Nolan (40) and is the proud mother of 6 children: Jordan (8), Lorelai (6), Connor (5), Thomas (4), Alanna (2), and Natasha (0). The only difference between Ifeanyi and Nnadi is that Ifeanyi follows the bible’s command for women to be quiet. All that hate just simmers on the inside. The average person would be rightfully weirded out by her and her husband’s age gap, but Ifeanyi wears it with pride. She thinks it’s a testament to her maturity and meekness. No, bestie… you were groomed. Anyways, my money is on her to have the most kids out of all of us.

Ifeanyi’s much cooler twin sister Onyinye (29) is married to Joseph (29) and they have 1 daughter, Nwanneka (1). Growing up I became really close to Onyinye. When I moved out I felt like I was leaving behind my child. Onyinye is like me in a lot of ways: science career, having kids on our own terms, only ones with hot husbands. The only difference is she’s still a Christian. I’m proud she was still able to find the loving aspects of that religion, even though I wasn’t. I also love that she doubled down on her emo phase. I remember our mom used to force her and Ifeanyi to dress alike in sickeningly pink bows and huge, frilly dresses.

Lotanna (27) lives in a sad beige house in Henford-on-Bagley with his sad beige wife Tori (27) and their sad beige children Brixten (2) and Trigg (0). Lotanna is the sibling I’m most wary of. He seems normal on the surface, especially now that he’s married to picture perfect Tori, but then he opens his mouth and the foulest statement you’ve ever heard pops out. He’s never evolved passed edgy Simeddit thread humor, except now it’s not humor, he legitimately thinks that way. I seriously feel bad for his future daughters.

Sochima (26) has been married to Ciaran (28) for just under a year. I’ve never met Ciaran in person. He seems like the average guy we grew up with, which would be horrifying for me, but a dream for Sochima. Surprised that we haven’t gotten a pregnancy announcement from them yet. I would’ve put her up there with Nnadi and Ifeanyi in terms of the number of babies she would pop out. Wonder what’s going on there.

[blood-darkened-moon]

What about the Ashfords and Victorianos meeting?

That’s probably not what you had in mind, but it’s the scenario I liked the most. And sorry for the length. I didn’t want to write so much, but since it’s a crossover, I thought I should add more context to it. Otherwise, it would have been too random. I’ll try to keep the other request closer to what I had intended.

AO3 Link

Anatomy Lessons

The car drove slowly along a path lined with trees on both sides. “We are almost there,” said the man who had previously introduced himself as Ernesto Victoriano.

“Is it really okay if we spend the night at your place? I can just call a cab, and we can spend the night in a hotel in the city.” Her father was obviously uncomfortable with the whole situation. It was the same for her. The man was, after all, a complete stranger, even if he was helpful and, it seemed, one of the wealthiest and most influential citizens around Krimson City, a town in the eastern part of Kansas.

“No, that’s all right. As the saying goes, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ I wouldn’t be a good Christian if I didn’t help a family in need.” Alexander smiled a little uneasily in response while Alfred shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Then the man added: “After all, your car broke down right on my land. If that’s not a sign from God.” No one answered, so Ernesto changed the subject.

“Where were you going anyway? You are tourists, right?”

“Not exactly. I am ... was traveling on business. Small town in the Arklay Mountains, I’m sure you don’t know it. Before we fly back home, I wanted to do a little round trip with the kids. I haven’t had enough time for them lately anyway.”

“Lately,” Alfred repeated, dripping with sarcasm but quietly enough that only Alexia could hear him.

“I see. And where is Mrs. Ashford, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“She has died.” A lie. Her father had divorced their mother when Alexia and Alfred were less than two years old. But Alexander probably didn’t want to say that in front of Mr. Good Christian. In fact, this woman hadn’t even been the twins’ real mother, just a surrogate. Alexia didn’t know who their biological mother was.

“Oh. Please forgive me. I didn’t mean to get personal. I’m very sorry about that.”

“It’s fine. It was a long time ago. I’m over it.”

The car stopped in front of an iron gate. Ernesto Victoriano got out to open it. He then got back in and drove them straight to the villa’s entrance. A black-haired woman opened the front door. She seemed surprised to see all the people.

Ernesto went up to her and kissed her on the forehead. “May I introduce my wife, Beatriz. Beatriz, these are our guests. Alexander, Alfred, and Alexia Ashford. Their car has broken down. I’ve invited them to stay with us tonight.” Beatriz did not seem to be happy about it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said hesitantly and unconvincingly. Then she pulled her husband closer to her to discuss something with him, but it was not loud enough for Alexia to understand.

Ernesto ended the conversation shortly after with a serious expression on his face. “Have the guest rooms prepared and show the children around the house while I call the towing service and the workshop with Alexander.” Beatriz seemed upset but didn’t say anything back. Ernesto then disappeared into the house with Alexander.

Their hostess simply stood rooted to the spot in front of the entrance for a few seconds and stared at the twins before she said: “Come in.” The entrance area of the villa reminded Alexia of the Spencer Villa they had visited in Raccoon City, except that everything was a little smaller. There wasn’t much time to look around, however, as Beatriz took them to the second floor into a library. “You two wait here for a minute, will you?” She opened the door to a long corridor and called out: “Laura. Ruben. Come here and say hello to our guests.”

After looking around the house, Beatriz handed the twins to her 14-year-old daughter, Laura. She was supposed to keep them occupied until dinner. Laura was very friendly and took good care of Alfred and Alexia. Alexia still didn’t like being treated like a child. Even though she was three years younger than Laura, she already had a doctorate and had been working as a head of research for a year, while Laura hadn’t even finished school yet.

But Alexander had told her to behave like a normal child towards the Victorianos. He didn’t want to draw any unnecessary attention to them; after all, they didn’t even know these people. The only question was how a normal child should behave. Should she act more like Alfred? But according to conversations of the domestic workers, whom Alexia had secretly overheard, Alfred wasn’t exactly normal either. In fact, the staff only ever complained about how strange and creepy the twins were.

Alexia decided to stay quiet and observe for the time being. In her opinion, this was the best way to approach unknown situations. She would simply go along with everything Laura said.

They spent the afternoon outside. Laura took her little brother Ruben and the twins to a sunflower field, where they all played tag and hide-and-seek together before returning to the villa in the late afternoon. They spent the rest of the time playing a ball game, which Alfred and Alexia narrowly won. However, Alexia had the impression that Laura had deliberately let them win. Such infantile activities were usually not on Alexia’s agenda, but she had to admit that she had enjoyed it.

In case Laura also found the twins strange and creepy, she played it cool. To Alexia’s surprise, even Alfred was quite taken with the older girl. Her brother was usually rather dismissive of strangers, but he was open and friendly towards Laura. Perhaps a little too friendly.

Ruben, on the other hand, was a strange child. He wasn’t necessarily shy but had hardly spoken a single word to the twins. He also gave Alfred a hateful look every time he was near Laura.

The afternoon faded into evening. Everyone gathered for dinner in their best clothes. As a guest, Alexander was supposed to say grace, but because he was stammering quite a bit, Alexia asked to take over, much to her father’s relief. At 9 pm, the twins were told that it was time for bed and that they should go to their room. However, sleep was still a long way off for them.

---

“Alexia, do you really think this is a good idea? What if someone sees us?”

“You said you couldn’t sleep. Besides, we’re not doing anything wrong. We don’t want to steal or break anything. We’re just looking around. It’s almost midnight. They are all asleep now anyway.”

Alfred and Alexia continued their way through the rooms and corridors of the villa. Beatriz had not shown them the entire building, and they had only been briefly in most of the rooms. Now, the twins wanted to take a closer look at the interior of the Vicoriano Estate.

“I know, but what if they wake up and catch us? These people are kind of weird.”

“All except Laura, eh?” Alexia couldn’t see it in the semi-darkness, but she could have sworn Alfred’s face was turning red.

Then she added: “Don’t worry so much. If they catch us sneaking around, we’ll say we had to go to the toilet and got lost.”

“Okay.” They were walking through an area of the villa that Beatriz had left out during the tour when they saw a faint glow of light emanating from the crack under a door.

“Hey, Alexia, look, there’s light. Someone’s still awake. Shall we go and have a look? We weren’t in that room before.”

“Alfie, for real? You were afraid of getting caught only a minute ago...” Alexia signaled Alfred to be quiet. Then they crept over to the door as quietly as they could. It wasn’t completely closed. Alexia cautiously pushed it open with one finger and looked inside.

Ruben was sitting at a table on the opposite wall, doing something Alexia couldn’t see. She gave Alfred a signal. He nodded. Then Alexia pushed the door all the way open, and they entered the room. Ruben turned around in a panic and jumped up from his chair when he saw the twins.

“What are you doing here? Get out! You have no business here,” he whisper-screamed. His hands were covered in blood. He was trying to hide something lying on the table behind him with his body. Curious, the twins came closer.

“What are we doing here? What are you doing here? It’s already late. Little kids like you should be in bed by now,” Alexia replied.

“You’re still children, too. I’m allowed to be here. I’m allowed to do this.”

Alexia had walked around him to take a look at the thing on the table.

“And what exactly are you doing here? Are you going to dissect the pig’s head, or are you playing butcher?”

“None of your business, you stupid cow!”

Alfred grabbed the nearest object within reach, a saw, and started threatening Ruben. “How dare you insult Alexia! I’ll butcher you like that pig!”

Meanwhile, Ruben grabbed a scalpel and held it out to Alfred in his outstretched hand but couldn’t get a word out. Alexia didn’t miss his slight trembling either. After all, Alfred was quite a bit taller and stronger than the 7-year-old boy.

“Alfred, he’s only seven. Stop that right now. Ruben, you too. You’ll wake everyone up if you’re not quiet.” Why did Alfred always have to be so violent? But somehow, Alexia liked it when her brother defended her.

The two of them slowly lowered their weapons. After the situation had calmed down a little, Alexia looked at Ruben’s work. An open book on the table showed the cuts he was supposed to make. The boy had tried to follow it, but the result looked more like crude butchering than precise cuts.

“If you want to dissect the head properly, you have a lot to learn. You know what? I’ll show you how you do it. Do you have gloves?”

The boy shook his head.

“Okay, wait a minute, I’ll get some. And Alfred?”

“Don’t worry. I won’t do anything.”

She went back to her and Alfred’s guest room as quickly and quietly as possible and got some latex gloves and a few other things that might be useful from her luggage. Alexia always took a few lab supplies with her when she traveled. Just in case, she discovered something interesting and wanted to take a sample with her.

Alfred and Ruben had apparently not moved during her absence and were still staring at each other. The atmosphere was still tense, but at least both seemed to be less hostile towards each other now.

“You don’t have any disinfectant either. You’re lucky I have got some with me. You always have to disinfect everything to reduce the risk of exposing yourself to pathogens when working with biological material. For this reason, you should also always wear your personal protective equipment, such as gloves.”

Ruben stared at her, somewhat confused and surprised. “Don’t you think it’s gross what I’m doing?” he asked in a low voice.

“No. Why? When I was your age, I dissected animals too. Mostly, it was rats and other rodents, though.”

A pig’s head was, admittedly, something new, and the last time she had dissected an animal during her studies had been some time ago. Alexia recalled all the steps as she made the preparations.

“Now, watch how I hold the scalpel. It’s best to start here. See? If you cut like this, you can easily remove the scalp.” Ruben watched fascinated.

“And now the cranial bone.” Ruben’s saw didn’t look like a bone saw, and cutting the bone of such a large animal was much more challenging than cutting that of a small rat. “Alfie, will you help me with the sawing? But put your gloves on first.”

Alfred got straight to work under Alexia’s instructions. He seemed to enjoy it. When he had finished, Alexia removed the brain to continue her explanation. Ruben observed everything carefully.

“Alexia is a genius. Pay attention when she explains things to you, kiddo.”

“The brain is surrounded by a thick protective membrane. Here. Just a moment, I have to remove it first.” While Alexia worked, she continued her lecture: “The meninges surround the brain in three layers. The dura mater lies furthest out. The arachnoid mater lies in the middle, and the innermost layer, the pia mater, directly covers the brain’s surface. To increase the surface area, the brain has convolutions. The mountains are called gyri, and the valleys between them are called sulci or fissures if they are particularly deep.”

Alexia traced the areas with her fingers.

“The brain is divided into two hemispheres. The left hemisphere controls the right side of the body; the right hemisphere controls the left side. In the middle is the cerebral fissure. The two halves are connected via the corpus callosum, a thick band of neurons.”

Alexia pulled the two halves slightly apart so that Ruben could see it.

“This part is the cerebrum, here is the cerebellum, this is the brain stem, and here we have a part of the spinal cord.” Alexia mainly limited herself to the structure and only briefly went into the functions of the individual areas. She didn’t want to overwhelm the boy, even though he seemed to be following along well so far.

“If you want to separate the two halves, it’s best to cut them cleanly with one slice.”

She took a large knife and showed Ruben the best way to cut through the brain, then continued.

“Now you can see the inner structure of the cerebellum and the subcortical area. This is the thalamus, and underneath we have the hypothalamus.”

As she explained, she separated the parts from one half of the brain as best she could with the tools at her disposal. She then handed them to Ruben, who was also wearing gloves now, so that he could examine them better.

“How do you know all this, and why are you so good at this?”

“Well. Last year I...” Alexia paused. She was supposed to behave like a normal child, and the “normal” part had already fallen into oblivion. “Well... I’m just a genius.” Ruben stared at her for a moment and seemed to understand that she didn’t want to say anything else. Then he nodded briefly and asked: “Can I try it?” Ruben pointed to the other half of the brain.

“Yes, of course.” Alexia stood up so that Ruben could take her seat. Still a little clumsy, Ruben managed to take apart his half of the pig brain under Alexia’s guidance. Despite his age and probably lack of experience, he did better than some of the idiots Umbrella sent her as subordinates.

“Not bad at all, for a start, but you still have a lot of practicing to do. Maybe you will become a scientist one day. You’re definitely clever.”

After this compliment, the boy grinned happily from ear to the other.

“Oh, and Ruben, this will remain our secret, right? Not a word to your parents or your sister.”

“I won’t tell anyone, Alexia.” the boy promised in a serious voice. Alfred bent down so that he was at eye level with Ruben. He still had the saw in his hand and a deranged grin on his face.

“And if you do, I’ll butcher you like that pig!”

“Alfred!”

“I was just joking.” Alexia rolled her eyes. Alfred wasn’t stupid. He wouldn’t hurt Ruben even if she didn’t intervene, at least not severely; after all, the child was their hosts’ son. Still, she knew her brother well enough to know that, at the moment, all that stood between him and real murder were the consequences that would follow.

“Come on, it’s getting late. Let’s clean up. I’m getting tired,” Alexia changed the subject. By the time they finished the cleaning and went to bed, it was already after 2 am.

---

The twins slept until late in the morning. Shortly before noon, they received a call that the car had been repaired and that they could pick it up at any time. However, Ernesto insisted that the Ashfords stay for lunch.

In the early afternoon, the Ashfords said goodbye to their hosts. Laura hugged the twins warmly. Alfred held on to the hug a little too long for Alexia’s liking. Ruben seemed a little shy towards her today. She was already worried that the boy was a little overwhelmed. But before Alexia got into the car, Ruben slowly walked up to her and handed her a colorful bouquet of flowers that he had hidden behind his back.

“I picked these for you,” he said quietly.

“Thank you. That’s sweet of you.” Alexia smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek, whereupon Ruben turned bright red. “And don’t forget your exercises,” she added quietly. Alfred stood not even a meter away from Alexia. He looked at Ruben as if he would have liked to skin the boy alive on the spot.

“Jealous?” Alexia whispered barely audibly and stuck her tongue out at her brother.

“Come on, are you finally done? We have to go,” Alexander, who was already sitting in the car, interrupted them. They waved goodbye to Beatriz, Laura, and Ruben once more. Then, the twins got into the car before Ernesto drove them to the workshop in Krimson City so that they could continue their journey.

[sissytobitch10seconds]

all i need is to come home to you

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy Summary: Luther is sick and tired of being alone on the moon. He's going to change his life on his own terms instead of letting his father shape it. Warnings: Canon-typical child abuse and pseudo-incest Word Count: 3,915 Ship(s): Luther Hargreeves/Viktor Hargreeves

Archive link!

A/N: So google docs uploaded and this summary was not the one I had originally, lol. I hope that it was enough to draw some people in and I hope this fic is worth it! Also, the title of this fic is from Rule #2 - Moonlight by Fish in a Birdcage. I hope you guys enjoy it! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

all i need is to come home to you

An Umbrella Academy Fanfiction

A Viktor Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves Fanfiction

By Sissytobitch10seconds

Showing search results for ‘Luther Hargreeves: 2018’

Four files found: AC/MC Correspondence Logs 2018.pdf, Effects of Ape Genomes on Superhuman Bodies.docx, The Umbrella Academy: Where Are They Now?.png, Locations of Moon Samples.docx

Select AC/MC Correspondence Logs.pdf? Yes/No

Accessing requested file…

…

…

Annihilation Control to Mission Control Correspondence - 6/4/18 02:48-03:01

AC: Dad

MC: That is not how you are meant to speak to your overseeing director, Number One. Please try again.

AC: Cut the shit. I can’t do this anymore.

MC: Please explain yourself, Number One. Frivolous calls are what is going to ruin the mission, combined with your insistence on sharing unneeded facts during your log records.

AC: You don’t read those, Grace does. She probably made some comment about it to you when she was serving you dinner. And I just told you, I can’t do this. I need you to get me someone or I’m going to walk outside into space without my fucking helmet on.

MC: Number One! There is no need for such crass language, please refrain from speaking towards me that way again

AC: Can you just shut up for one second and actually listen to me? Maybe there’s a reason that I’ve been including stupid shit like that in my logs. 

MC: And what reason would that be, Number One?

AC: I’m not going to talk to you, not if you’re going to be like this.

MC: You’re the one that called me, Number One. Outside of the usual parameters and with such crass language, no less!

AC: Let me talk to [Viktor].

MC: Absolutely not.

AC: If I don’t get to talk to [Viktor] then I’m going to follow through with my threat. It would be super shitty if the youngest person to ever go to space ended up killing himself under the great Reginald Hagreeves’ care. I’ve been trained with all the space shit. Maybe I should just not patch the next oxygen leak that the control center gets.

MC: How soon do you need to speak with [him]?

AC: As soon as you can get [him].

---

Annihilation Control to Mission Control Correspondence - 6/6/18 13:00-14:06

AC: What do you want?

MC: Uh, hello?

AC: Oh. Hello.

MC: Is this Luther? I’m sorry, I don’t know how this works and no one will explain it to me.

AC: That’s okay [Viktor] I don’t expect you to know how this works. Truth be told, I thought that this was a call from Dad to see if I had actually followed through. I wasn’t expecting him to be able to get to you like I wanted him to.

MC: Well he did. It was kind of a surprise for me too. I mean, you had never shown an interest in wanting to talk to me before. 

AC: Back when I was at home?

MC: Back when all of us were at home. It always seemed like you liked Allison better than the rest of us.

AC: How is she? Allison?

MC: What was the last thing that you heard about her?

AC: The last thing that I heard about her was when I was back on earth. I used to get newspapers so that I could keep up to date with current events, but they stopped coming after the first year up here.

MC: Wait, you haven’t had anything new to read in three years?

AC: Two, but yes.

MC: What have you been doing to keep yourself occupied, then?

AC: What do you care, [Viktor]?

MC: You’re the one that wanted to call me, Luther. If you didn’t really want to talk to me then you should have asked Dad for Allison. And if you just wanted someone to argue with then you should have asked for Diego. I don’t know why you chose me out of all of our siblings, but I have my own life and job that I am currently missing out on to talk to you. So if you’re not going to be nice to me then I’m not going to talk to you.

AC: Wait, [Viktor]. I’m sorry that I snapped at you. I think it’s harder for me to interact with people outside of the standard conversations that Dad and I have when he calls every week to make sure that I’m still handling the maintenance of the shuttle well enough. I just mentioned that I hadn’t had anything to do while up here, didn’t I?

MC: You did, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to be an asshole.

AC: You’re right, I’m sorry.

MC: It’s okay. But I do think that you owe me an explanation for why you picked me out of all of our siblings.

AC: Well, I knew that Klaus has probably gotten into something more than what he was into when we were teenagers so it didn’t feel particularly safe to call him. We still don’t know where Five is and he would end up arguing with me far faster than Diego would. When Diego left, a little while after dad sent you away to college, he said that he wouldn’t step back into the house until Dad was dead. I didn’t think that it was worth it to even ask for him when he was so against it like that, I guess. 

MC: What about Allison?

AC: Can you tell me about her?

MC: Not until you tell me why you picked me instead of her. I think that if she knew that you had made that choice when she would skin me alive.

AC: She would never do that!

MC: She threatened to literally the entire year that we were fourteen. I think that she very much would.

AC: I forgot about that.

MC: It’s okay. I like hearing you laugh.

AC: Oh, thank you.

MC: Now tell me why you didn’t demand that Dad bring Allison to stave off your loneliness. 

AC: Well, the last that I was able to hear about her was that she was dating somebody new. She’s been dating a lot of people since I last saw her and she moved out to LA. It kind of hurt. You know, I caught her before she left. I caught almost everyone before they left for the last time, other than you.

MC: Did you catch Five?

AC: I thought that you wanted to hear my story about Allison.

MC: Right, sorry.

AC: Anyway, as I was saying. I caught her before she had the chance to leave and she told me what she was doing. When we were younger, we used to sneak back to our secret greenhouse the same way that you and Five would sneak to the music room. We talked for hours sometimes, but then she would also bring the Shakespear books that Mom forced us to read when we were supposed to be studying the classics. She would pick a main character that she wanted to play and then make me read the other lines so that she could practice. I wasn’t that shocked when she said that she wanted to go and be an actress in LA. I was really sad to see her go, but I knew that I couldn’t hold her back if I really loved her.

MC: That’s what they say in all of the songs, isn’t it?

AC: Yeah, I guess so. I haven’t gotten a new record in a really long time.

MC: I’ll see if I can get Mom to convince Dad to send you some of my favorites, if you’d like.

AC: I would… I would like that [Viktor]. Do you want to hear the rest of the story?

MC: Yeah, sorry for interrupting so much.

AC: No, it’s fine. If I only wanted to talk to myself then I wouldn’t have demanded that Dad find me someone. But, um, anyway. I let Allison go after she promised that she was going to write me so that I could keep up to date with her. She landed a main role in the first movie that she auditioned for, which I’m guessing that she might have used her powers for. I don’t like doubting that she has the ability to get it on her own merit, but I know that she didn’t like to do the hard work that the rest of us had to do. After that, the letters just stopped coming. The only way that I could figure out what was happening to her was through the tabloids and articles written about her.

MC: Me too.

AC: I guess after that I just figured that she didn’t want anything to do with me so I didn’t even try to contact her. I sent a few letters here and there when something big happened to her or I was able to sneak one of her movies into the Academy, but I never got anything back.

MC: So you two grew apart? I’ve heard that can happen to people who grew up together.

AC: I guess that kind of happened with us too, didn’t it?

MC: The difference is, we thought that you two were in love with each other. No one liked me so there was no doubt in my mind that none of you would ever reach out to me. Not since Five left when we were thirteen.

AC: I’m sorry, [Viktor].

MC: It’s okay, it’s not like it was just you.

AC: I… I suppose that’s true. I didn’t want to pick Allison because I don’t think that she would have responded to Dad’s call, and I can’t go another week without having something to look forward to.

MC: I’ll come back every week and talk to you then.

AC: I don’t want you to feel like you have to. One time was enough to keep me going for a while longer. Hopefully I’ll be able to actually come home soon.

MC: I hope so too. I have to go now, I really can’t stop putting off my work.

AC: I’ll hear from you in a week then.

MC: Mm hmm. I’ll get Dad to send you some more things to keep your mind busy too. You’re too intelligent to just be left up there twiddling your thumbs, Luther.

---

Annihilation Control to Mission Control Correspondence - 8/14/18 22:00-22:54

MC: Hello? Is someone there?

AC: I’m here, like I always am. Though apparently you’re not.

MC: I’m sorry, Luther. I really did try to make it on time. I’ve been having some trouble getting to and from the concerts that I’ve been doing in the past month and I missed the bus. When I actually got here, Dad said that you would be busy doing whatever mission he sent you up there for and that I couldn’t call you. I’m so sorry.

AC: [Viktor], I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry that I was so snappish. I should have figured that it had something to do with Dad.

MC: Is he still being as difficult as he was before?

AC: You’re actually dealing with him in person, you tell me.

MC: I was kind of hoping that he was going to be nicer to you when he called you. Mom said that he was sending you the records and books that I brought last month.

AC: He did, but the conversations that we have whenever I call back for my checks are awful. I guess I was kind of scared that he wasn’t going to let you call me anymore because you’re changing me.

MC: I’m changing you? According to you or according to him?

AC: According to us both. He mentioned it last week when I was asking where you were after you didn’t call me. I had some time to think about it while doing my missions because of how fucking monotonous they are. And he was right.

MC: Oh? Do tell.

AC: Well, you’ve made me actually think about the way that I treated you back when we were kids. It wasn’t right, and it was all his fault. That was the reason that I treated Diego like shit too. 

MC: What do you mean?

AC: Do you remember back when we were training together, before Dad made you stop watching us and spend more time with Mom? 

MC: Of course I do.

AC: Well after you left he started doing a lot more of what he had been doing before. He would tell Diego that he needed to try harder if he even wanted to be my shadow. It made me have this idea that Diego and the rest of the team was so far beneath me that none of them were ever going to have any kind of right to lead. I think that it might have been the reason that Ben died.

MC: What… what do you mean by that?

AC: I’m sorry, I know that’s a lot for you to handle. We never did tell you what happened during the Jennifer Incident, did we?

MC: You didn’t. I asked over and over again and no one would ever tell me.

AC: Well… It was kind of hard for us to think about because part of it was our fault. Ben wasn’t good at controlling the Horror because he was scared of it. That only got worse as we got older, probably because he had been seeing what kind of things it could do at that point, and we understood the permanence of death. Dad made sure that we didn’t think too hard about what we did on missions when we were younger than that. Uh, anyway. We were on a mission for Dad, like we almost always were. Then things started going south, I don’t remember all of the details. We were trying to save someone, I know that. I think that Ben had been sneaking out with Klaus to try and watch him but had ended up meeting someone named Jennifer.

MC: How do you know that?

AC: We were able to drag some of it out of Klaus when we brought his body back to the house. But anyway, she turned out to be at the building that the hostages were in. Ben went totally out of control, the Horror was feeding on his fear and using it to control him entirely. It turned on him and ripped him to shreds.

MC: I guess I can understand why you all never told me that. I’m not sure that I would have been able to handle it on the little bit of meds that I was on. I can kind of process anything on the higher dose that Dad put me on when I went to college.

AC: I was meaning to ask you about those. When I was thinking about all of the horrible decisions that Dad made for the team, I kept thinking about why he kept you around. 

MC: Wow, thank you, Luther.

AC: I mean, it’s not like he cared for any of us. He didn’t keep you around because he loved you, there has to be some other reason. Then I kept thinking about the meds. Why would Dad want to have a sickly child with no powers? You wouldn’t have shared any secrets about him if he had sent you away because he was very open about his training methods. At least, the ones that you were around to see.

MC: I guess he did always kind of treat me like an in between of the outside world and the inside one that he made.

AC: Exactly. So why does he have you on the medication? Viktor? Are you still there?

MC: Yeah, sorry, I think I just remembered something. Do you remember when I was four and Dad took me away?

AC: He said that you were sick. The only person that got to see you was Allison and she got in trouble for talking about it when you came back.

MC: I’m beginning to think that I wasn’t really sick. I think I’m going to start looking for another doctor so that they can wean me off of these meds healthily. Then we’ll see what’s really going on.

---

Annihilation Control to Mission Control Correspondence - 10/10/18 7:34-8:21

MC: Hello? Luther?

AC: [Viktor]? This isn’t the time that you usually call. Is everything okay?

MC: It’s more than okay! I have so much to tell you, so I need you to promise to wait until I tell you that I’ve finished before you start talking to me.

AC: Okay, I will.

MC: Promise?

AC: Promise.

MC: So I found another doctor, one that was outside of my insurance. It ended up being more okay than I thought it would be, doctor’s appointments without tests are inexpensive enough that I was able to manage it with the savings from my book deal. I convinced them that I didn’t want to be on the medication anymore and they helped wean me off. I started to notice some really interesting things after I stopped taking it, though.

AC: What kind of things?

MC: Luther!

AC: Right, shit, sorry.

MC: Anyways! As I was saying, I started noticing things. I thought that it was just a coincidence at first because my entire life I have thought that there was nothing special about me and never could be, but there is! At first it was things like raining when I was feeling upset about something, but then glass started breaking when I would get scared or have a panic attack. And Luther, I can hear way better than I did before. There are all these extra sounds that I had no idea existed before today. I was able to use it to sneak into the house and I found that little red book that Dad used to keep all of our training missions in. It turns out that I did have powers but they were really volatile, so Dad decided that he as going to lock them away instead of just manning up so that he could train me better. He also had Allison trick me into thinking that I was ordinary, which I think that we can both tell has had no lasting effects on my psyche at all.

AC: Is that sarcasm?

MC: Yes, Luther, it’s sarcasm.

AC: I like the way that your laugh sounds now. Not that it didn’t sound good before, but you actually sound happy now. Before it sounded like you were just kind of going through the motions.

MC: That’s because I was. The medication that I was on was a sedative because my powers are linked to my emotions. But I’m an adult now, so I can watch and handle them.

AC: Wow. It’s kind of hard to wrap my head around the fact that this is all real. I mean, that’s probably what Dad wanted in the first place, which was why he cemented the idea of you being different and ordinary in us throughout our entire childhood. What are you going to do now that you know you have powers?

MC: I’m going to get Dad to bring you home.

AC: You… you are?

MC: Of course, Luther. I want you to be able to be here to teach me how to shave when I get on hormones.

AC: Shave? [Viktor], I think you skipped a detail or two.

MC: Shit. Right. I was so excited to tell you about the fact that I had powers that I forgot to tell you about the other thing. It turns out that I’m a boy. I never had the chance to think about the things that would make me happy or who I was because of the Rumor and the medication. But now both have been broken over me and I know who I am. Is that okay?

AC: Screw shaving! I mean, I will still do that for you if you want me to, but I want to throw you a fucking party! This is amazing, you’re actually discovering things about yourself, just like me! We’ve officially broken the hold that the stupid old man had on us.

MC: I guess we have. Do you want to know the name that I picked out for myself?

AC: Of course I do. I want all of the details that you’re willing to give me.

MC: Viktor. My new name is Viktor.

---

Annihilation Control to Mission Control Correspondence - 12/1/18 7:00-8:16

MC: Luther? Come in, Luther.

AC: You don’t have to talk like you’re actually Mission Control, Viktor. We’ve never done that with each other before.

MC: I thought that I would try it out, since I’m in charge of your mission now.

AC: You are? When did that happen?

MC: Pretty much immediately after I finished my last call with you. I know that I haven’t contacted you in a while, it took me a lot of time to figure out how to do what I wanted to.

AC: And what do you want to do with me?

MC: I’m bringing you home. The return rocket has left earth’s orbit and is going to be picking you up when it gets to the moon.

AC: Are you serious?

MC: I wouldn’t joke about something like this, Luther. I know everything that Dad did to you and it was so wrong. He had no right to turn your body into something that you didn’t recognize and then hide you in a base on the moon. I’m bringing you home and then you and I are going to figure out how we can have a real life, the kind that you wanted with Allison and I wanted with Five. Luther? You still there?

AC: If Five comes back will you leave me for him?

MC: I don’t see why I can’t have you both.

AC: I guess I should wait until I’m back on earth so that I can talk to you about this, but I’m worried that I’ll chicken out if I have to do it to your face. God, I don’t even know what you look like anymore.

MC: About the same as when my book came out, but my hair is short now. What is this about, Luther?

AC: When we had our first call, you asked me why I picked you out of all of our siblings. I never answered your question properly. The reason that I picked you out of all of our siblings was because you were the most kind. You also know what it’s like to be completely isolated from everything. I’m so, so sorry that we did that to you, Viktor. We were supposed to be your siblings, your family. More importantly, back then we were also supposed to be heroes. We were supposed to take care of people, that was quite literally in our job descriptions. But I think that the only thing that we actually ended up doing was killing whoever our father pointed us towards. We didn’t protect you, we didn’t protect other people, we didn’t protect Ben. You’re kind and wonderful and so heartfelt. I love you, Viktor.

MC: I love you too. Get home to me safe, okay?

AC: Okay.

…

Close AC/MC Correspondence Logs.pdf? Yes/No

Closing AC/MC Correspondence Logs.pdf…

Shutting down…

[shitter]

Hope everything is going well for you! How are you?

Things were pretty shitty for a while at work (massive data synchronization issue at a pediatric cancer research institute that has taken over 3 weeks to fix, requiring me to work multiple 12-14 hour days along the way), but I think the worst is over, and we appear to be in the clear. They’re letting me take some ~complimentary~ time off since I’ve been putting in so many extra hours at work, which is pretty cool, although I think some people might be upset that I’m fucking off so quickly after the fact. I don’t care though because I’m pretty burnt out from the whole ordeal, and god knows I need a vacation.

I moved to a new place with my partner back in April, and we’re really liking it here. It’s a basement unit, so we don’t get much light, but the place itself is really cool and has a wet bar. We’re both still in Chicago, and it’s crazy how much living in a place you like can change your perspective on a city.

Financially speaking, money is still a little tight (the amount of money I’m making at my job doesn’t go NEARLY as far in 2023 Chicago as it did in 2018-2021 Portland). I haven’t had much energy to put into creative endeavors lately, mainly because I’ve been so focused on retaining some sense of financial security while supporting two people. My partner starts her new job soon, so hopefully that additional income will balance things out.

I’ve been seeing a new therapist for the past year or so, and he’s really good! I feel like I have made some major strides in all of the areas I wanted to improve in, but there is still much work to be done. I’ve been doing a lot better with controlling my anger, but there are still some more nuanced problems I need to work through.

Anyway I appreciate the ask! Always good to know that there are still people on this site that give a shit about me. Anyway thanks for listening and sorry for being this guy:

[rothjuje]

A quick list of what I miss most about Texas: stone creek, Buc-ees, all the amazing donut places, how close/convenient everything was, how laid back everything was. And my people of course.

I watched the weirdest movie last night. It was set in California and I think I forgot how beautiful it is there, just flowers everywhere. But also, I haven’t experienced spring here. I did see the Boston public garden in May and it was like something out of a fairytale, flowers so big I thought they were fake at first.

I was definitely the biggest whiner ever about snow. It hasn’t snowed in two weeks. With no plans to snow next week either, in fact we’re supposed to have two days in the 60s! Which I don’t think is the norm for here at all and climate change is terrifying. But wanted to note we only had one snowy week and in hindsight it was not a big deal at all. In fact, I miss it. We didn’t even have time to make a snowman!

First thing yesterday morning, before I had even put my glasses on, a kid asked me to blow up a balloon. It wasn’t even half full when it exploded into my right eye. It was so painful I couldn’t even scream. I just remember kicking the couch in agony thinking my eye had exploded. Five minutes later when I could finally open it I realized it was (mostly) fine. But oh man. Close your eyes when you blow up balloons, folks.

Apparently Justin has a yearly meeting that falls over Valentine’s Day. This year and next it’s Feb 13-14. He celebrated with the kids this am and then left for the airport. In our last house, I used to get super freaked out when he left on work trips. We lived by the woods, but we had a fence and I knew all our neighbors and I was still freaked out.

Here we actually live in the woods, we don’t have a fence, I don’t know all our neighbors, we find animal remains on our property—but I feel safe here, go figure. I don’t know if it’s because I view Mass as safer than Texas, or because of neighbor friends. I was close with my old neighbor too, but she was a frail old lady. I know if there was ever an issue with an intruder or the house or a wild animal my bff’s husband would be here in 30 seconds. We also just keep a general lookout for each other. Good neighbors are such a gift. Also, Peabody has become such a guard dog since moving here/being the only dog. It’s annoying usually (especially when he scares people) but nice when Justin is traveling.

Why is it that in above freezing temps our lawn turned brown in Texas every winter? Here we had below zero temps and our lawn is still green. Grass type? Maybe we have moss? I don’t know but I’ll take it.

Can you train cats? I have a friend who swears she can train her cats to stay off counters and leave her plants alone but I just don’t believe her.

I was thinking the other day about how people appear online vs in person. I’ve been told by people lately that I’m high energy and I ask a lot of questions. The question thing is a problem I’m working on, I’m just insanely curious. About everything. All the time. It does make me lol though that people think I’m high energy because I always feel half asleep. Maybe it’s the ADHD. Anyway. I just think it’s interesting that we create personas for people as we read about their lives, like we do for characters in a book.

[annonniiiiieeeee]

can we hear a little more about usagi or maybe casey’s games?

Hers what I’m thinking so far but these can all change. It’s very fluid.

Usagi (70th games)

He’s 14 when he’s reaped. (I’m still picking his district)

I haven’t decided if he is a career or from the cattle district but either way he’s Camille’s with knives and swords.

Katsuichi coach’s him to be very demure. He plays into the fact that he’s a bunny (I’ve always found it funny that he is the only prey animal in his group. Katsuichi, Kitsune, Tomoe Ame, and Chizu are all predators in some form, and Gen is a rhino) during training and the interviews he looks like prey. He’s aloof in his interview and it gives this air of confidence. But he’s talking like all he’s going to do is run.

He in facets did not run. He takes that cornucopia by storm. No one knew how fast he was. Or how brutally efficient he was with a katana or wakizashi.

It’s one of the few years their is no career pack.

Usagi is still a samurai. He will fight to the death head on. But only if he’s challenged. Usagi is not actively hunting anyone. Once he claims the cornucopia he plans to put last everyone.

The gamemakers aren’t happy that he isn’t hunting the other kids. The force a few to run into him and force a confrontation.

They also spawn mutts. I think giant bay like creatures (to harken back to the bay ninjas in the comics) they swoop down on you and rip you apart. The spawn one right about Usagi and are shocked when he dispatches it.

His other tributes aren’t so luckily.

Casey (73rd games)

Casey is 13 when he is reaped

He is Cassandra’s son/little brother. She is also a victor and she had always worried about Casey being reaped so she tried to train him in advanced the best she could.

Casey is small. He’s thirteen and growing into himself. She strong but he can’t go toe to toe with an eighteen year old. Let alone a pack of them.

During training he shows off some skill with a spear. People know he’s related to Cassandra. He’s expected to have some skill. Cassandra’s weapon of choice was a spear. He wants to show that he has some skill so he’s not seen as an easy target, but he’s not showing how skilled he actually is.

Where Casey’s skill is the best is in trap building. He’s from district 3 the technology district. He’s smart and he knows how an electrical circuit runs.

When the game starts Casey runs for the woods but he doesn’t go far. He hides up in a tree not to far from the cornucopia and waits.

He waits out the blood bath and he waits till the careers go hunting. Then he’s working. He slinks back towards the cornucopia as it’s getting dark. They have left someone on guard but they aren’t paying to much attention. It’s been a long and stressful day and no one’s stupid enough to come back here this early.

He slides his way to the cornucopia and gets to work. He has to work fast and silently but he sets a trap in the cornucopia. He knows their is worrying some where and he’s able to use the electricity in the cornucopia (has to project that clock some how) to charge all the remaining weapons in the cornucopia.

He slips out just in time. Making it back to the woods. He doesn’t have to wait long before he hears a cannon. He knows he fried one of the careers.

The careers are panicking. Why did that tribute die when reaching for a weapon? Are the game makers killing them out right?

It forces them to leave the cornucopia. Something they wouldn’t normally do and take off for a different area. They think the game makers rigged the area. They leave quickly taking all they can carry but they also leave in a panic. They don’t pack they way they should.

Casey know has the whole cornucopia to himself. He has to be carful but he knows how to turn off his trap. The careers took off in a hurry leaving a lot of food. He had weapons, food, and water. Now he waits.

Most of the careers get taken out by the elements. They didn’t practice the survival skills. Careers always do poorly anytime they loss the cornucopia. Any other kid that tries making there way back to the cornucopia has a nasty surprise waiting for them.

There is one terrifying moment when Casey gets caught by someone. They tackle him down and almost kill him. Casey is able to get the kid off of him but it’s a close call and it’s the only up close bed personal kill Casey does for the whole game. He mostly outsmarts his competitors with different traps he sets up.

It is very different from the violent and bloody way Cassandra won. It’s probably why it worked. People were ready for a blood thirst child and got a mastermind instead.

[cmdr-prio]

20/06/3309

12:12 UTC

Every time I wake up, I have to check galnet to make sure I haven’t lost time again. This must be what it feels like to come out of a coma. The universe hasn’t significantly changed, but now something’s going on with the thargoid war, there’s some kind of cult involved, and I guess people get paid to find plants now?

There’s a lot I need to catch up on when I reach the end of this journey.

My brain feels like a neutron star’s firing off in it today. But you don’t get to take a day off when it makes the difference between living and dying.

My next waypoint is Eos Aowsy ZW-J c22-50. Aowsy feels like something Doge would say after getting bonked with a baseball bat.

Frell.

I just realised my already outdated meme knowledge is even further out of date.

In any case, I want to try reaching at least two waypoints today before calling it quits.

Heh. “Today.”

A measurement of time based on a planet we’ve long since drifted away from. We can’t forget our roots, I guess.

Well. Time to find something to blast into my ears, and fire up the engines again.

13:01 UTC

Here’s the thing about space. It’s really big. I know there’s already that famous quote about how big space is, but hear me out here.

The human brain was not designed to comprehend these kinds of scales. Hell, there are things planetside that are simply too big for a human to really comprehend beyond a theoretical level.

You might understand a mile. Maybe in terms of a distance you can run, or drive in a car. Ten miles, sure. But 100? Or 1000?

I am travelling lightyears. I am so far away from Sol, that by the time one photon from there were to reach me, I’ll have been long dead. Possibly in the “thousands of years” sense, I haven’t done the math.

And it’s just a few orange lines on a map.

Honestly, I’ve seen some ships that I’d say are big enough to be beyond human comprehension in terms of scale. Space stations definitely are.

I think about this a lot. Star Trek loved to show us the Enterprise, but it was rarely in a context that allowed you to truly comprehend the scale, at least in the early days.

One of the first things Red Dwarf shows us is a solitary person painting the side of the ship. The camera pulls out until they aren’t even visible any more, and the camera just keeps going. You’re very clearly shown that this ship, is really frelling big.

As you may guess, by the fact I’ve taken the time to write an essay about how my brain is too small, I’m at my first waypoint. On to the next.

♫ Currently listening to: Daft Punk - TRON Legacy Soundtrack ♫

14:23 UTC

One of the systems on the way here(Dryau Aowsy KN-B c13-1001) had a whole buncha stars, and I couldn’t help but think of the line “There are three suns and no women, WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!!”

I’m currently parked on some rock in Dryau Aowsy SZ-X c14-982, with a pretty decent view to boot.

Though I did notice this nearby while zooping the camera around.

Is this something I should be worried about? I’m not brave enough to drive my scarab over there for a closer look. Probably just a mildly interesting rock. Right..?

14:44 UTC

Nothing new to report. I’ve just been sitting here waiting to see if this migraine will weaken. But I have realised that when I finally reach Sagittarius A*, I’ve totally forgotten how to safely approach space stations from supercruise, and I don’t have an assist module. I vaguely remember something about controlling your speed to keep it around 7 seconds away, which is how I’ve been approaching planets, but a planetary approach will automatically drop me out of supercruise when the time is right. I don’t think approaching a station will? Does my ship alert me when it’s time to drop out of SC? I really don’t remember.. The training sims all used SC assist...

♫ Currently listening to: Henry Jackman - Kick-Ass: The Score ♫

15:35 UTC

I’ve made it to Ogairy LC-M c7-338. There’s like 7 waypoints left from here.

22 jumps per waypoint, that’s like.. 154 jumps? I can do 154 jumps, when my map settings were frelled up I was making like 180 jumps a day.

There’s a real chance I can finish this relatively soon.

Just don’t think about the journey back.

Honestly I’m wondering if I’ll be able to hitch a ride on a fleet carrier or something to get back. Depends who’s around I guess.

Though I shouldn’t be in such a rush to leave Sag-A* when I get there. I should take some time to enjoy the victory.

When I get there.

15:50 UTC

Okay, so I’ve been pondering my options. I think I’m going to step out of the cockpit for a bit. Get some food in me. I’ll publish this log for now. I’ve been wanting to keep one day’s events as a single log, to keep things tidy, but I guess I’ll make a part 2 if I continue the journey today. I need to assess if I have the mental energy to keep flying.

Knowing the end is in sight.. It gives me some hope.

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

240 of 2023

LIFE IS BORING SOMETIMES

@fueledbysurveys – keep

1 What do you do if someone likes you and you don’t like them back? Have you ever tried to make sure they kept liking you?

No. If I’m not interested, then I’m not interested. I can’t help it.

2 What are you favorite things to wear in the winter time?

Hoodies and platform boots. Good isolation from the ground :P

3 Does your “style theme” change at all when the seasons change other than going from shorts to pants, etc (ex. girly to super casual)?

No. I always look the same, this might be my signature style, but I wear different pieces every day. I always make sure I’m clean and smell good, that’s important to me.

4 Which job has been your least favorite? Why?

I was working as a cleaning guy in the local library, because I wanted some financial independence while I was a student. Speaks for itself. I had to clean their toilets.

5 Do you ever make recipes found online? What was the last one?

No, but I like to collect recipes and I have a few notebooks filled with them. I find them in many places, also on the internet.

6 What are some pieces of furniture that you must have in your dream house?

Island in the kitchen :D it was my immediate thought. Also, big library full of bookshelves, and a walk-in closet.

7 How do you feel about the iPhone 4S? Have you downloaded iOS 5 for any other Mac products?

I don’t give a shit about Apple and their products. Never did and never will.

8 If you smoke weed, what do you usually do after you get high? If you don’t, what would you do if everyone around you were smoking?

I don’t smoke weed.

9 Have you ever been to any of the places feature on Man V. Food? Is there any you’d like to go to?

I don’t even know what it is.

10 If you’re into sports, how do you feel about people who don’t root for the home team? Or are you one of those people?

I don’t care what other people like or dislike. It’s a free country.

11 What’s the last thing you ordered online?

A few books.

12 Did you watch VH1’s 100 Greatest Songs of The 00s? What’d you think of the list (here it is in case you didn’t)?

I genuinely don’t care.

13 How do you usually dress for job interviews?

Oh my, I haven’t had a job interview in ages. I’ve been working in my place for years, and I have a permanent contract. I don’t even remember how I dressed then.

14 Are there any tv shows that you watch despite the fact that you think they’re completely ridiculous?

Yes, some “reality TV” shows that are absolutely cringey, but I love to watch them just for lolz.

15 Has the “Occupy Wallstreet” movement been anywhere near your area?

I’ve never heard of it, I have absolutely no idea what it is.

16 What are three good things going on in your life right now? What are three things that you would change?

Good things are travels, the fact I’m generally doing well, being back to work. Things I would change are health-related, oh well.

[decayingblorg]

5/1/2023

Another day of not much happening! I mean I don’t go out alot anyway. (My friends are all mostly through XIV and they literally live at different corners in the UK). I only have one friend, Lauren. But even then she doesn’t live here but in a few towns over. But we are planning to have a game night at some point soon which is always a good laugh! We always find so much to talk about and we laugh and reminisce about the Hospital wards we’ve been in and how literally mental some of them are. Most of the staff area massive arseholes. Shout and yell at you for nothing, make you cry. Heck, I was attempting to try and hook a towel around the door and tie it around my neck. I sat on the floor crying and all I had was a member of staff (she had a fat arse and thought she looked good in leather trousers) shout at me and calling me stupid. Then proceeding to talk all my possessions away from me. Including blankets and covers. Had to sleep with my dressing gown over me. Now before people get confused, it was only a towel, they are a lot bigger than they look compared to my clothes which I wouldn’t be able to do shit with in such regards. Fucking crazy lesbian leather woman took it all (and a dressing gown is about the size of one of those towels and yet didn’t take that off me!?) anyway, going abit off topic. That should hopefully be happening soon with Lauren! I am excited whenever we meet and chat and laugh. Autism really helped us to just click. But yeah, she is lovely and caring and is doing so bloody amazing. She used to be in and out of hospitals for many years. But it seemed the last one she was in, we were both in infact and neither of us have gone back since. It’s good for me because I’d been in 3 times within the space of a year. But she’s been in so many and now she is at the point where she doesn’t need a mental health team behind her anymore and she is flourishing and it’s so amazing to see that happened. She’s done so well.

Not much else to say truth be told. Apart from the car! I said yesterday that they hadn’t been back that previous night. What happened was they came back again last night. And I know for a FACT they’re tied to the neighbour because when the neighbour parked his car he went and spoke to the person in said car who had their engine running. So there is a clear connection there, when I wasn’t too sure in the first place. But I’ve gotten more details about it, so will keep them close to me and see if anything else shifty happens. I am getting my deer stalker on!

And tomorrow, me and my mum are going to some families house tomorrow evening. They’re alright and I kinda do want to do, but I know for a fact I might say something I am gonna regret. Apparently I am a “bad influence” on their daughter (this was said when she was like 16) and all these years later I still haven’t stopped being annoyed by it. Is standing up for yourself, being your own person and encourage people to be themselves is a bad influence? Piss right off. If you don’t wanna raise your child that way, that is fine but you can’t merely call someone a “bad influence” if it’s nothing but positive? I am still the same person then as I was now (well, maybe not entirely. Mental health and hospital wards might have changed me a great deal) but my thoughts, feelings and truths are all exactly the same and I won’t ever be afraid to shy away from who I am, not anymore. I spent so long criticising myself and questioning myself constantly and after so much, I’ve finally found my place. I know who I am and I won’t ever stop being myself because someone else doesn’t like it. (Besides, I am a bad influence? What about all these shitty “reality stars” having such a big influence on the younger generation? Which are mostly fake, money hungry who always have to look a certain way. Why be boring and be someone like that? Nah, you don’t know what a bad influence is then. Not sure why after 14 years it still pisses me off.

Okay, away from that subject. Not much else to say really. Just been watching the EndWalker cutscenes in anticipation for the 10th! Beyond excited is an understatement! New story is always great because it’s always SO GOOD! A good year to be an FF fan for sure. VII Remake part 2, fan festivals for XIV, XVI release in the summer and the new Theatrhythm for switch! Beyond excited!

Mood was just the same as every other day. Just eh, not bad but not great either. But as always, I will take being in the middle than being to happy or to sad. That is my post for the night! Peace! ✌️

[rp-meme-central]

Hazbin Hotel - Pilot- sentence starters

1. “Why have I always been a failure? What can the reason be?” 

2. “My life is a race, just a wild goose chase, and my dreams have all been denied.” 

3. “Why don’t you get that tinker-toy bullshit off my turf before I smash it! ...More.” 

4. “Please don’t sing. This is serious.” 

5. “Looks like your little project is dead on arrival. Tell us, how does it feel to be such a total failure?” 

6. “Eh, what’s one little brawl gonna cause?” 

7. “Glad you haven’t changed. You know you’re my favorite _____ to party with!” 

8. “Oh, come on, I had to! My credibility was on the line! I mean, what kind of reputation would I have if people found out I was trying to go clean?” 

9. “This body is flawless. Everyone wants a piece of me, and I’ve got the creepy fan letters to prove it.” 

10. “After that train wreck, there is no way anyone is going to want to stay at _____! All thanks to you and your selfish bullshit!” 

11. “Hey, come on. We don’t know if things are over yet. Try to relax, _____. It’ll be okay.” 

12. “I don’t know if I’m going to make a difference. I don’t know what I’m doing. I could really use some advice, _____.” 

13. “I think _____ was right about me.” 

14. “What a performance! I haven’t been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929! So many orphans...” 

15. “If I wanted hurt anyone here, I would have done so already.” 

16. “Does getting into a fistfight with a reporter count as entertainment?” 

17. “So then, why do you want to help me if you don’t believe in my cause?” 

18. “Don’t worry. I’ve picked up one thing from my ______: ‘You don’t take shit from other _____.’”

19. “I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better, so I’m taking your offer to help, on the condition that there be no trickster voo-doo strings attached.” 

20. “So it’s a deal, then?” 

21. “Nope! No shaking, no deals.” 

22. “Hi, I’m ______! It’s nice to meet you. It’s been a while since I’ve made new friends.” 

23. “Don’t you ‘_____’ me, you son-of-a-bitch. I was about to win the whole damn pot!” 

24. “I’m doing some charity work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services. I hope that’s okay.” 

25. “Are you shitting me? You though it would be some kind of big fuckin’ riot just to pull me out of nowhere?! You think I’m some kind of fuckin’ clown?!” 

26. “Don’t worry, ______. I can make this more welcoming... if you wish.” 

27. “What, you think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze? Well, you can!” 

28. “Oh my gosh! Welcome to _____! You are going to love it here!” 

29. “I lost the ability to love years ago.” 

30. “Well, I’m starved! Who wants some jambalaya? My _____ once show me a wonderful recipe for jambalaya. In fact, it nearly killed her/him/them!”  

[elamarth-calmagol]

Some suggestions for elf skin color

I think a lot about the logic of elven skin color.  Elves were born before the sun existed, so it makes sense that they’d be pale, since sunlight is literally the only thing that leads to different skin tones.  But we don’t want all our elves to be pale, do we?  It’s boring and racist.  And the sun eventually rose, so do we have a lot of sunburned elves?  The problem is, there aren’t enough generations, especially generations after the sun, to evolve different skin tones.

There actually aren’t enough generations of Men to do that, either: Men have been around for roughly 7,000 years by the War of the Ring, whereas in the real world, homo sapiens have been around for an estimated 200,000 years.  That’s easily excused by saying that Men awoke in several places (similar to a theory that used to be believed by scientists, though I think it was falling out of favor by Tolkien’s day) and Eru created them to have the right skin color for the place they live.  It’s a bit more complicated when everyone awoke in the same place like elves.  They did wake up in different groups, though, at least according to the one story about Cuivienen we have.  (I’ve mentioned in the past that I think that’s a myth, but it probably has some basis in truth.)

Anyway, here are a few ideas I have for elvish skin color (and other racial characteristics).

1. The easiest one: forget science and just choose whatever colors you want for your characters.

2. Different races within the elves have different appearances.  Keep in mind that the Avari are made up of both proto-Noldor and proto-Teleri, so they’d be mixed.

3. The different groups of elves who first woke at Cuivienen each were a different race.  So the Vanyar (consisting of one group) were mostly all alike, whereas the Noldor and Teleri had two groups each, so they each have two different races mixed up within them.  This and #2 suggest their society would probably be racist in a similar way to ours.

4. Everyone is dark skinned because that was the first human skin color and they haven’t had enough generations to evolve anything else.

5. Everyone is light skinned because they were developed for a world without light.

6. The elves at Cuivenen had random skin colors, because there was no evolution to demand one or another.  So there are all sorts of what we’d consider mixed-race elves, and skin color doesn’t have any sort of cultural significance to it.

7. The rising of the sun triggered skin color genes within elves to express themselves, and within a couple of years, everyone had changed to darker skin tones, even though they’d previously all looked alike.  The implications would be interesting.  Would they not care because there’s no pattern to it?  Or would they prefer people who had lighter skin because they looked more like everyone used to look?

8. The genes were only triggered in the generation born after the sun rose.  If you have really pale skin, everyone knows you’re old.  That could either be good (old people are respected) or bad (you’re not adapted to the sun and burn all the time).

9. Their skin changes significantly due to sun exposure, especially considering how long they live.  It’s not like us getting tans or freckles: they can go from very light skin to brown skin if they’re out in the sun.  (I think there’s canonical evidence for elves having changes to their skin if they’re exposed to sunlight, because Tolkien specifically mentions Galadriel and Arwen having white arms.  This was commonly used to show that a lady was high class, because she didn’t have to work in the sun and could choose to use a parasol or something when she did go out.  So presumably he’s signaling that they’re nobility by saying that, which means they must tan or something?  Anyway, if the changes are big, this would matter more.)

10. Evolution happens with the cells in their body rather than on a species level, so if cells with more melanin survive better, the elf turns dark skinned over hundreds or thousands of years, whereas if they’re not getting enough vitamin D, they turn lighter again.

11. This only affects where the light touches, so they have really, really noticeable farmer’s tans.

12. Their skin is determined by how much sun exposure they get in their first few years.  People living in the woods (e.g. Maeglin, who is canonically pale) have lighter skin than people living on the coast.

13. Their genetics are triggered by how much sun their parents got just before they were born.

14. Lamarckian evolution is true for elves, so if a parent tans, their child gets that skin tone rather than the parent’s original skin tone.  A lot of elves are born freckled or sunburn red.

15. Elvish evolution goes at warp speed compared to ours, with noticeable evolutionary differences between a parent and a child.  This could relate to non-racial traits, too.

16. Laurelin’s light counts as sunlight, so the Noldor exiles have much darker skin than the Sindar they come across.

17. Laurelin’s light does not count as sunlight, and in fact, elves interact with sunlight in a very different way than Men because of their history with the Trees.  They don’t need sunlight for vitamin D (likely true, otherwise all pre-sun elves were vitamin deficient), and they also don’t get burned by it, so skin tone doesn’t matter and is either completely random or somewhere in the middle.

18. Since they have to create babies with a conscious use of their fea, elves have designer babies, where they get to influence things like height and what color their skin and hair is.  A child’s appearance is based on their parents’ aesthetic choices.  I don’t even know where to start with the cultural implications of this one.

19. Elves can change their skin color over time to whatever works best for them, because they have conscious control over their bodies.

20. The differences in elves’ skin is imperceptible to mortal eyes, and they don’t understand why we think they all look alike when OBVIOUSLY he has stripes and she has patches and so on.

21. If you really want to go off canon, you can have some wild things, like elves’ skin matching the colors of the things around them, so wood-elves have green skin and Noldor have gold or gemstone-colored skin and the Falathrim have stormy gray skin.

22. Or elves just have green or gold or gray skin, nobody’s stopping you.

23. Or they’re like octopuses or chameleons, changing skin color to blend in or communicate.

24. Elves don’t have skin, they have exoskeletons.  Or environmental suits that cover their skin 100% of the time.  Or something else sci-fi.  (There are plenty of possible explanations here for their glowing eyes, too.)

25. I don’t know, you fill this one in.

[yesimwriting]

hi, i love all your work! could i please request headcanons for what it'd be like to go from being enemies to lovers with nikolai lantsov.

thank you:)

A/N maybe i moved this up on my request lists bc i woke up today and went 'nikolai lantsov'

--

- i'm being a little liberal with cannon bc my mind first went to 'princess! reader who hates nikolai bc they're competitive and then they have to team up together to try to get their parents to break up their arranged marriage but fall in love in the process (this might be a little undetailed but i'm thinking of writing a full fic or mini-series with this plotline so let me know if you'd be interested!! i could see a smutty ending to that fic but idk,, lmk what you thing ig lol)

- Ok so first off enemies to lovers with the loml nikolai lantsov would be SO GOOD bc he's so dramatic and obviously attractive so even though you hate him you know he's hot,, there's never a dramatic realization that he's attractive bc it's just a fact

- butttt you'd rather give up any claim you have to your family's throne than feed his already gigantic ego

- okk but lets get to the beginning of your enemies to lovers relationship

- so basically every summer your parents go and stay with Nikolai's family at this super fancy vacation home bc your parents are both royalty and your kingdoms have a very healthy relationship

- just bc it's the summer season doesn't mean it's summer vacation,, so as children for about a month you two share a tutor,, and when i tell you that created a rivalry so fast i mean it

- you're not the eldest princess and you're always trying to be the best for your parents approval, nikolai just wanted to impress the really smart girl who had a pretty laugh (poor nikolai lol,, he had no way of knowing how important being the best in school no matter what was to your self esteem)

- maybe if you two could communicate you’d like each other a little better at this point but it starts when you’re pretty young and by the time you’re like 13 it’s a solidified dynamic (and 13 year olds are the MEANEST and most insecure people in the world so that’s when your relationship turns to full enemies)

- now that you’re 13 you have more princess-y requirements, especially over the summer. So when you see that Nikolai gets to practice with swords and gets more free time while you have to practice setting tables you hate him more than ever. 

- Nikolai senses that you’re extra hostile but he has no idea why,, he tries asking once but he makes a joke about how ‘maybe you’re jealous bc youre no longer the center of my attention’ and even though he’s just trying to ease the tension you feel like he’s making fun of you

- so that’s when things get aggressive, but at that point summer is almost over so it’s whatever

- next summer comes and you’re still SO MAD at him,, so when you get to the estate you’re like ‘i’m not even talking to him idc how quiet these next three months are’ 

- and you get there all determined to hate him,, but once you get there and see him something in you cracks bc he had the audacity to spend the last year going through puberty AND LIKE HE’S ALWAYS BEEN CUTE BUT THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE 

- so youre mentally panicking bc how do you even talk to someone that looks like that now???? but then you remember that you didnt even want to talk him so in a panic youre like ‘maybe i can avoid him and he’ll just assume it’s bc i hate him bc i do,, who cares if he’s unbelievably hot now’ 

- nikolai doesn’t assume anything, he just gets to the estate and is like ‘why hasn’t she insulted me yet?? is she suddenly too good to give me attention?’ so during the lessons that you still share he gets an idea

- he decides to one-up you in everything bc that’s always gotten a reaction out of you 

- it works,, every time he corrects you or steals an answer from you, you’re ready to snap but then you look at him and take in his stupidly perfect face and  you just shut up 

- nikolai thinks it’s not working so he just tries harder

- by the end of week one you can’t take it anymore so when the tutor leaves at the end of lessons you snap, you tell him off for how often he’d repeat what you said and change a few words and get all the praise from the tutor

- on the inside he’s like ‘took long enough’ but the more you rant he’s like ‘is she okay???’ he’d be more concerned if you weren’t threatening his pride and at this point he’s still annoyed bc if you were that annoyed you should have just talked to him instead of ignoring him for a week

- he’s thinking that just bc you got really pretty over the last year doesn’t make you too good to yell at him on the daily

- the worst thing anyone can do to nikolai is ignore him LMAO (lowkey relatable)

- so he starts arguing with you and you’re so upset that you forget about how aggressively attractive he is 

- and you two are alone in this room and the more you argue the closer you two get

- the climax of the argument is when neither of you are yelling, you’re just so mad you’re beyond raising your voice and once you’re both at that point it goes like this: 

“Nikolai Lantsov, you are the most insufferable person I’ve ever met” 

“Well then, Darling, you should look in a mirror.” 

“You are so entitled, so ridiculously self obsessed that it ruins your attractiveness.” 

“...” he literally just like blinks twice. “You think I’m attractive?” 

“Uh? No--i didn’t say that at all, maybe if you didn’t have the language comprehension of a child you’d understa--” he just reaches forward, grabs the collar of your dress, and kisses you. 

- it’s your first kiss so you have no idea what you’re doing and it’s with some one you CANT STAND and you’re so mad bc you had expectations for your first kiss and he’s taken that from you--but the thing is,, 

- he’s good at it. Like really good at it. Like so good it makes you curious about what he does the nine months of the year he’s not stuck here with you bc there’s no way he hasn’t had practice. 

- but you’re also extremely confused and nervous and aware of how stupid you’re being (and a little hormonal bc being 14 isn’t easy) and then he places his hand on your cheek and that snaps some sense of reality into you bc it’s one thing to enjoy the kiss but another thing entirely to want him to escalate it

- so you place one hand on his chest and push him off of you slightly. He takes the hint, pulls away enough to look at you and then you two just stare at each other 

- your hand is still on his chest and you have absolutely no idea what comes next, but you find yourself looking at his lips

- since you haven’t slapped him or pulled away more than a few inches he thinks maybe things are okay so he leans forward slightly and kisses you again. 

- you reciprocate a little too fast, the kiss lasts two seconds before thinking about how insane you’re being so you push away entirely. 

- He lets you go,, and in the most awkward display ever you’re like ‘uh I need to go,, i can’t be late to ball preparation lessons’ and you leave that room faster than you’ve ever left a room in your entire life. 

- the next day you consider pretending to be sick to avoid him but that would only give him more power over the situation so you go,, and he’s just sitting there calmly

- youre on edge the entire day but he never even jokes about it

- a part of you is a tiny bit annoyed bc who kisses you and then pretends it never happened? but overall, you’re relieved 

- the days pass and it never comes up but now whenever you two argue you think of how quickly kissing him both shut him up and got rid of your tension 

- the summer goes by quickly, your usual dynamic has returned and you wonder if he even remembers kissing you. twice. in a row. 

- the next couple of years are normal,, even when you two no longer take lessons together you still dont like him. He’s just so assured and he takes such joy in bothering you. 

- and then one summer your parents sit you down and they’re like ‘we need to plan the future alliance of our kingdom’ 

- you’re a little confused bc you’re rarely allowed to sit in on these things bc you’re a girl and you’re basically meant to just be a royal’s bride--and then you realize why you’re there. 

- you start protesting before your father can finish announcing your engagement 

- the parents were smart bc they announced it at the end of summer so you two couldn’t drive them crazy or conspire

- the first thing you do when you get back to your castle is write to him for the first time ever 

- your letter is basically ‘pls tell me you’re doing something’ 

- the two of you talk until you come up with the plan to get your parents to break up your engagement 

- your parents dont really care about your feelings and they expect the two of you to argue with them,, but they care about the kingdoms

- so you two decide that if you act like youre so in love that you let your duties slip the engagement will end,, especially if you two are in love in a toxic way 

- so the next summer you two make sure to flirt and act like youre totally obsessed with each other and skip lessons together and just are constantly together and acting like you’re on a honeymoon

- your parents are like ?? since when 

- at one point you flirt with a random guard just so Nikolai can have a ‘jealous outburst’ while your families are strolling through the garden 

- ngl jealous nikolai had you ready to RISK IT ALL,, you were ready to drop the plan and marry him on the spot 

- he notices bc he notices everything about you and when your family walks away he gives you a quick kiss and youre stunned,, much to his delight 

- your desire to break up your engagement takes a slight backseat in your mind bc you decide to set off on a secret goal to make him flustered

- it doesn’t take much, your dresses get a little more risky, your comments get a little more suggestive

- the only problem?? he seems to have his own personal goal and it’s to make you even more flustered than he is

- soon the two of you are lost in layers of pretend and competition

- when your parents are finally thinking about delaying the engagement and keeping you two away from each other until you calm down a little (i feel bad for them,, an entire summer of being surrounded by the ULTIMATE sexual tension) 

- you’re sad and you don’t know why bc this is what you wanted, but then Nikolai stands up and says that you two planned for this and he has the letters to prove it (he was ready to drop the receipts LMAO) and youre like ??what are you doing?

- and he says he’d rather marry you then never see you again bc now all he wants is to get know you bc he has no idea how he wasted so much time arguing with you 

- and you just meltttt but your in front of your entire family and his as well so you just sit there for a minute and then you tell him you feel the same way 

- but the summer’s over

- you kiss him before leaving and he says you’ll have to visit bc he can’t go an entire year without seeing your ‘pretty face’ 

- you promise to visit him soon

- your at home for exactly a day and a half before getting an invitation to visit him 

- you laugh bc the only way that letter could get to you that fast is if he mailed it before you even left 

- you say yes obviously,, and spend some time having a really cute fall-dating vibes together until you figure out how you really feel 

- and you feel like he makes your heart STOP and that’s why you hated him,, bc you didn’t like being vulnerable