#the experience was very bad for my mental health

[justinther0ck]

i finally got my driving license after failing 3 times

honestly I've never failed at something that I felt I was adequately prepared for THIS many times ever in my life so it was very humbling and when I finally passed it felt very cathartic :D

[bunnihearted]

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[thunderheadfred]

Doubling up my sertraline dose for this last trimester and postpartum, on the recommendation of the midwives. I do think I've been feeling the new imbalance over the last few weeks especially. Extra weight and blood volume means that the low starter dose I've been on for years just isn't cutting it anymore. I've been doing so well with my capital-D Depression for the last few years, I sort of forgot what this lack felt like. Today I said to my partner, that even after having a spiritual awakening or whatever the fuck happened to me last summer, I still have to recognize my physical body has this chemical imbalance. The inherited biological wackiness of my brain is not magically fixed by wisdom or meditation or... really much of anything except a re-balancing of chemicals that it fails to produce on its own. I can help that along holistically with diet and other habits to reinforce a healthier hormone balance, but the majority of the weight is pulled by a single tiny pill. It's good to remind myself of this, and to remember to take the damn pills so you can remember why life is worth living???

[tastyflowers]

anyway I just had the most frustrating appointment with a doctor I've maybe ever had

[stillfruit]

i love not knowing if i'll ever be healthy again i love all of the time i've used to move my body become nothing i love spending my adulthood wasting away year after year for various reasons baby!

[pwippy]

i originally captioned this as "what do you mean no one really figures life out" but thats not really relevant anymore. i. uh. long rant ahead!

[barkingangelbaby]

venting so much i ran out of tags lmao

[fallowfield]

the main tip of writing horror being "write what scares you" is so weird on a bunch of different levels because i have "normal" fears (spiders, the dark, etc.) then there's like. holes. loss of control while being fully aware of "my" actions. being forced to watch as the world ends around you. forced/mandatory/necessary cannibalism. being watched closely by something just out of sight that knows your every move. my existential fears genuinely outweigh the normal ones by a significant amount and they're not going to translate to an audience that doesn't have intrusive thoughts, specific phobias, paranoia, and trauma relating to autonomy. i'll be pinned as being pretentious when i'm just writing on a level that isn't relatable to the audience of modern horror who just wants a fun romp through a gorefest filled with killers that get unmasked and shot at the end.

[skoulsons]

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[elegomez]

was constantly angry. unfollowed a couple of people. no longer constantly angry. unfollowing is truly the best medicine.

[soggypotatoes]

having a dissociative disorder is so fucked up and confusing

like, I feel like that's obvious, but no... once you know you have it, once it's confirmed, it just gets so much more confusing than it was before

[aniposting]

i hate how i can’t enjoy horror. i love the genre so much, but my anxiety hooks it’s little fangs into the scary paranoia inducing parts and doesn’t let go

i’m able to differentiate media & reality most of the time, but subconsciously i keep the way these things make me feel and keep them for my normal life outside of the horror movies :(

for hours after watching something spooky, my anxiety is peaked and i’m super anxious and almost imagine whatever happened in whatever i watched around me, so i have to be safe and just not consume it.

[adlibitur]

*even more rugged ben affleck smoking jpeg*

[myqueenmarceline]

These are all very good points and I agree, but there's another one I've noticed that I'd like to add

The lack of accessibility that acts as a barrier for disabled people

actual criticisms of academia:

cost of education acting as class barrier

exploitation of graduate workers

colonialist past and present

ties to military industrial complex

danger of power structure entrenching and justifying orthodox views on social issues

criticisms of academia that get made:

those damn ivory tower academics are wasting money learning about things

[autisticlee]

I'm kinda confused by your last post, so do you want other people to relate you or not?? Because you said you had enough of anxious/depressed people yet you're... Obviously depressed AF yourself lol

lol but im not depressed necessarily. i'm obviously burnt out AF, if you know the difference. I learned they are different. hard to figure out. but is a difference. don't have all the depression signs, but do have all the burnout ones.

also, am I only allowed to relate to depressed/anxious people? people who relate to my problems and struggles? am I not allowed to relate to other things? maybe positive things for once? how does wanting to be around people I can relate to in other ways mean i dont want people to relate to? am I only allowed to relate to people who share/relate to negative experiences? you're on my Life Rant blog so i can see you thinking that's all there is to me.

I like when I get a note on a post with tags like "this happens to me too." it feels nice to not feel alone. but when every person around me/interacts with me is too anxious/depressed/overly negative/etc to relate to any positive parts of me, it gets very hard!!!! I put all my energy and effort into their needs when they are unable to do the same. I can't keep doing that!

basically i'm tired of trauma bonding, being unpaid therapist, not getting my needs met, never getting anyone to do anything I want because their brain wont let them, only being surrounded by negativity and absorbing it against my will, walking on eggshells, etc. I try my best to be there for them. but I need someone capable of being there for me too! I need different things to relate to sometimes! I need people able to share positive vibes that I can absorb! want more people I can have more positive things in common with, not just negative experiences that get ping ponged back and forth lmao

[nomairuins]

the worst part is like . I know it sounds like ocd and i know a lot of ppl with ocd and i watch them talk abt their experiences and i relate a ton but then my brains like How dare you relate to them and try to compare. youre just an evil person and youre trying to pretend you have ocd . and its actually different and the fact you even thought for a second "oh thats similar to what i experience" means that you will be a bad person forever and you cant fix it and you need to go to hell. and you dont have ocd youre just actually an evil person. so i cant actually let myself think abt it being ocd basically