#the ending of this puts a new twist on the ending
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Twisted
pairing: lee felix x afab!reader
genre: fluff, smut, thriller
wc: 6.6k
synopsis: felix and you live a normal, happy life as a couple. until you start noticing little things that make no sense. felix calls you silly for thinking anything could ever be wrong in your perfect little world. is he being honest or harboring a bigger secret?
warnings: unprotected sex, creampie, oral(f), two plot twists!!, dark ending!
a/n: i can't really put all of the warnings here bcs i would spoil the plot twist but i hope you enjoy this one hehehe🤭🫶🏻
divider by: @cafekitsune
~masterlist
There is nothing more beautiful than waking up next to the person you love.
Traces of last night's loving and passionate activities linger in the air all around you as your limbs are entwined with his, not knowing where you begin and where he ends; almost like you've merged into one person.
You stir a little, the warmness of his naked body pressed against yours makes your heart dance inside your chest and your core throb with the everlasting craving you have for Felix.
Your eyes flutter open and you look at him, his hair a royal mess, the strands falling over his forehead and into his eyes, where his eyelashes kiss his freckled skin, his plump lips slightly parted as he cutely drools on the pillow.
You chuckle a little and that stirs him up, he smacks his lips together as you lay on your tummy, facing him, his leg thrown over you.
Felix cracks one eye open and smiles instantly, his fingertips dancing on your back, all along your spine.
"Morning, sweets." his voice is even deeper when he wakes up, but still dripping with honey.
"Morning, love." you whisper and his smile widens, making him look even cuter to you so you lean in and press your lips to his forehead.
Your hand caresses his hair out of the way as your lips repeatedly collide with his skin, kissing his eyebrows, eyelids, nose, all of his starry freckles.
Felix giggles at the onslaught of love, giddy as his arm curls around your waist, bringing you even closer to him.
You enjoy the quiet moment before you have to get up and start your day, face the real world.
As your hands gently caress each other's skin, both of you become hungry for more, hungry to become one like you did last night, more than once.
Felix's breaths are shaky as he ruts his middle against your thigh, his hot leaky cock dragging against your plushy flesh.
You moan quietly as your hand explores his soft skin and Felix maneuvers you so your back is facing him.
"Wanna hold you." he murmurs into your hair, adjusting your leg before he sinks his cock into you easily, your cunt always ready to take him in.
Felix buries himself inside your warmth, holding you tightly as his lips attach to your neck and whisper words of love in your ear.
You melt into his embrace, letting him rock against you, his cock sliding in and out of your wetness in a steady rhythm, his arm wrapped around you as his fingers press on your clit.
Euphoria soon takes you both over as you spill into each other, all wet and warm, full of love.
"I love you, sweetheart." he kisses your shoulder and arm gently.
"I love you too." you turn to smile at him.
Yes, nothing is more beautiful than this moment right here.
-
"Lixie! Are you done getting ready?" you yell out from the hallway.
"Yes! I'm coming, babe." he yells back from your room before he comes skipping down the steps with a big smile on his face.
You chuckle at him as he jumps right in front of you, cupping your cheeks and pressing his lips into yours, a wet smooch sound echoing off the walls.
"You're so cute." your face is warm as you giggle at him.
"That's you." he pinches your cheek, making you whine a little.
"So, do you like my outfit?" he asks with a little spin, a bright smile on his face.
"Of course, you look very handsome." you giggle.
"Don't I always?" he wiggles his eyebrows and you roll your eyes at him playfully.
"Why is this new diner so special that you're sooo excited about it?" you ask as the two of you make your way out of your house.
Felix swings your linked hands and smiles.
"You'll see. I know you'll love it." his eyes shine as he beams at you.
"Fine, I trust you." you say and he brings your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles gently.
It's another beautiful sunny day, the birds are chirping in the trees, there is no trace of clouds in the sky, everyone around you seems to be happy, wearing big smiles and saying a polite 'good morning' as you pass them by.
You smile too, enjoying the sun's warmth as Felix yaps about a new video game he discovered recently.
Come to think of it, you don't remember the last time it rained or snowed.
While you ponder this, Felix notices your absent-mindedness and nudges you.
"You're not listening to me." he pouts.
"Sorry, I was just thinking how it's been sunny for so long that I almost forgot what it's like when it rains." you chuckle and Felix's eyes widen for a moment.
"Oh- I mean, isn't that good?" he asks, licking at his lip nervously.
"Sure, but it'd be nice to get some rain now and then." you shrug, looking around.
"I'm sure it'll rain soon." Felix is more quiet than usually when he says that but you pay no mind as the mysterious diner he'd been raving all week about finally comes into view.
"Felix!" you exclaim, grabbing at his arm, a big smile spreading on your face upon seeing what all the rave was about.
Your boyfriend's demeanor changes instantly as he perks up, a big smile on his face.
"It's a space themed diner!" you clap excitedly as you near the entrance.
"Mhm. Just what you love." Felix's eyes sparkle as he looks at your face adoringly. "Are you happy?" he adds.
"Happy? I'm estatic!" you practically skip the rest of the distance as Felix trails behind you with a satisfied smile on his face.
Seeing you like this is the biggest gift he could ever have the honor to indulge in, it's all he needs.
To see you happy.
You hurry inside and the interior of the diner makes you gasp.
The walls are filled with beautiful space paintings and photographs, the ceiling is made of some kind of big screen that has an entire galaxy lighting up here and there, as if all the little stars are actually shining above your heads, spacecraft oval shaped chandeliers hang from the stars, the little lights inside them shining with different colors of the rainbow.
The whole diner seems to be presented as the Solar System, each booth belonging to one planet and designed according to colors and traits of the planet.
Everything seems shiny and sparkly, some experimental electronic music is playing from the speakers as the waiters rush around, all dressed in shiny suits, with cute space details sewn into them.
The place is packed but as if it was waiting for you, the booth inspired by Jupiter, your favorite planet, is empty.
"Shall we?" Felix smiles, reaching his hand out to you.
You nod fervently, still trying to process the entire design of the diner, your heart dancing inside your chest happily.
Felix chuckles and leads you to the booth and as soon as you sit down, an automated voice starts talking from the little speaker on the wall.
"Welcome to Jupiter, the gas giant of our Solar System! It is primarily made out of gases and liquids so your feet won't really touch any ground but that's okay, you can always float along! Just be careful not to get swept away by the famous cyclonic storm called the Great Red Spot, hehe! Fun fact: Jupiter has 80 moons!" the voice talks.
"Startled me at first." you chuckle. "Actually, Jupiter has 95 moons discovered, as of lately. I guess they didn't update the fun fact." you add and Felix frowns.
"Hm." he purses his lips and you giggle. "How could they not update it?"
"It's okay, it's not that big of a deal." you giggle at his pouty face.
Before he can answer, a waiter appears next to your table.
"Hello, my fellow space explorers! I'm glad to see you've chosen Jupiter as your destination today. Take a look at the selection on our menu, it's just out of this world!" the waiter laughs, putting down your menus and twirling around as he walks away giving you some time to decide.
"This place is so kooky." you laugh in delight and your boyfriend smiles at you.
"You like it, right?" he asks.
"I love it, Lixie." you confirm and Felix's face becomes brighter again.
"I wanna try the Milky Way shake." Felix says as he skims through the menu.
"Yeah, we can get a big one, share it?" you blink at him and he melts.
"Of course. What do you wanna eat?" he asks.
"Um- the trip to the moon pancakes sound yummy."
"Ooh, I will get the andromeda cake then and we can share and taste both."
After placing your order, you look around, marvelling at the way they thought about every little detail as whoever made this put a lot of thought into this diner and is obviously a space lover like you.
Your eyes fall to another booth, the Mars one, hues of orange and red swirling on the wall and the seats as your eyes follow the intricate design all the way to the woman sitting in the booth with another woman, perhaps a friend, perhaps her lover.
Something seemed off, though.
The woman was taking sips from her glass, but it seemed like no matter how many times she sipped, the liquid inside didn't move.
Again, she took a big sip and you could see her throat move as she swallowed but the same amount of red liquid with little golden sparkles inside it remained.
You don't know why you were fixating on such a little detail, but it was so peculiar.
"What is it? You like the Mars booth more?" Felix follows your eyes.
"N-no. Just... nevermind." you smile at him. "I'm just looking at the different designs. They're all so pretty." you settle on saying.
"I'm glad- I mean yeah they are." he smiles at you.
Your Milky Way shake arrives along with your food, and everything looks sparkly and delicious, decorated with little edible stars and edible glitter.
Felix and you talk about nonsense, relaxed and full of laughter as you share the shake, sipping from it at the same time.
The way he stares at you, his eyes dark and intense yet so soft and full of love, makes your stomach do backflips every time he's this close to you.
After the delicious brunch, the two of you decide to take a walk to a nearby park, wanting to catch some fresh air and stretch your legs.
Felix's arm is wrapped around your shoulders as you melt into him, your arm wrapped around his waist.
"Ugh Felix, what day is it today?" you suddenly feel confused.
"It's Thursday. Why?" he chuckles.
"Weren't you supposed to be at work?" your brain struggles to remember if he said he had a day off or not.
"Y/n, don't be silly. I have the whole week free, remember? We said we'd spend as much time as we can together."
"Right." you chuckle, your memory refreshed. "Silly me. Must be the Milky Way shake with the way I'm spacing out."
Felix laughs at your pun as you wiggle your eyebrows at him.
The world is so beautiful with the sound of his laughter gracing it and with his attention focused only on you.
With warmness in your heart, you return to your home.
-
You work from home, so as soon as you arrive back at your house, you sit down at your desk.
You feel bad for not helping Felix with dinner but he reassures you that he doesn't mind cooking a meal for the two of you, in fact, it makes him happy.
Retreating into your home office, you began working.
Exhaustion takes you over after a few hours, not even realizing what time it is until there's a knock on your door.
"Y/n, love? Dinner is ready." it's Felix's warm deep voice and you turn to look at him, a smile on your face instantly.
"Okay, I'll be down in a few minutes-"
"Babe, you've done enough. Come on, you need to eat something." Felix makes his way to you, his hand gentle on your upper back as he caresses you.
You melt into his touch instantly, thoughts of continuing to work disperse immediately.
"Okay." you chuckle as he leans down to kiss your forehead gently.
The food is delicious like always and as you keep eating, the sky outside darkens suddenly.
You squint your eyes, lifting your head up to look out the window.
"Oh!" you exclaim as thunder rolls in.
Felix turns his head towards the sound, seemingly unphased but there is a small smirk dancing on his lips that you miss.
"Looks like it's gonna rain after all." he says.
"Yeah." you quip, a weird feeling settling in your stomach.
You decide to ignore it, it's a coincidence that it started raining just when you thought about it, it's not like you predicted the weather or something.
"Did you enjoy dinner?" Felix smiles and you nod.
"Of course, it was delicious. I'm not letting you wash the dishes alone though." you point at him jokingly.
"It's fine, sweetheart." Felix is quick to shake his head as he starts cleaning out the table.
"No, you cooked. Let me be useful for something at least."
"You are useful."
"You know what I meant." you say and he nods, the two of you settling on washing the dishes together.
As you're putting the last plate in its place, Felix appears behind you, pressing his body into yours as his arms wrap around you.
He whines, nuzzling his face in your neck as goosebumps rise on your skin and you melt into him.
"Hello there." you giggle.
"Mm." his lips attach to your neck, leaving gentle kisses and you lean your head back on his shoulder, giving him more space.
"Let's shower together." you suggest and Felix hums against you with a smirk.
It's a daily routine you have, any moment you don't have to spend apart, you spend together including showering.
If someone gave Felix the chance, he would quit his job and just be your boyfriend.
He often thought about that, spending every second of the day with you, even while you work, he'd be content in sitting quietly next to you.
He'd have you all to himself, forever.
But, real life gets in the way but he concludes that that's what makes every moment you are with him even more precious.
"Let me help you, sweetheart." his voice drips with honey again as he turns your back to him while the two of you stand under the shower.
Shivers run up your spine as his fingertips slide on your back.
He grabs your shampoo, pouring it on his hands before he starts washing your hair.
You relax into his touch, loving the way he always takes care of you. His hands are gentle but firm as he massages the bubbles into your scalp before rinsing it off.
As you lean back into him, his semi-hard cock brushes against your backside and you chuckle.
"Someone's getting excited." you look back at him with a playful smirk.
"Can you blame me? My beautiful girlfriend is naked right in front of me." he smiles somewhat of an innocent smile, a contrast to the steamy atmosphere shaping between you.
His arms wrap around you as he pulls your body flush against his, making you shiver.
"I need you, my sweet." he whispers, bumping his nose with yours, lips brushing against you.
"Lixie." his hands roam on your body, as you wrap your arms around his shoulders. "Let's go to bed, hm? I love the thought of shower sex but last time you slipped and almost cracked your head open on the tiles and I really don't want to go through that again."
Felix whines in embarassment, burying his face in your neck as he tightens his hold on you.
"That was one time. All the other times were fine." he pouts against your skin.
"I don't wanna see you hurting, come on." you say and he reluctantly follows you out of the shower.
After drying off, Felix whisks you away to your bedroom, almost throwing you down on the soft bed as you squeal, the room filled with laughter.
"My sweetheart." he coos at you, his hand cupping your cheek as his thumb swipes on your skin.
Before you can say anything, his plump lips are on yours as he kisses you lovingly, passionately, possessively, his tongue pushing inside and swirling around yours, taking your breath away.
You clutch onto him as he lowers his middle into yours, grinding his hardening cock against your wet pussy.
He keeps kissing you and swallowing your moans, as his tip catches your entrance a few times but he keeps grinding against you.
"L-Lix, need you." you whimper in frustration, wanting him to fill you up.
"Yeah? My baby needs me?" he smirks and you whimper again.
"Yes, please. Need you inside me." you bat your eyelashes at him, trying to look as cute as possible even though Felix would kiss the ground you walked on if you told him to.
"Such a good girl. Asking so nicely." he keeps smirking before grabbing his cock and slowly sinking into your heat.
Both of you moan at the feeling as he slowly pushes in, bottoming out and fitting snuggly inside you.
Felix tries, he really does, he tries to be gentle but you feel so damn good clenching around him, keeping his cock inside you, your legs and arms wrapped around him as he fucks into your sweet spot.
"Ah!" you exclaim as Felix picks up his speed, his hips snapping into you as he presses your knees to your shoulders, coming down on you with all his weight.
Your eyes roll in the back of your head as he fucks you relentlessy, making you cum in mere minutes.
"Shit, baby you're so wet." Felix looks down at his cock, the white cream of your pleasure painted on his length.
He grunts deeply before fucking into you again, the squelching sounds making your face and ears burn.
Your boyfriend is like a bunny in heat, never stopping or slowing down, making his cock slip out of you on accident as he keeps wilding above you.
A little whimper escapes his lips, missing your heat immediately as he grabs his length and pushes back into you, resuming his ruthless pace.
"Mm, yeah, take it." he groans and all you can do is moan as you let him have his way with you.
"F-Felix!" you moan as he brings you to your second orgasm.
"Yeah, say my name baby." he smirks as he pounds into you.
You keep moaning his name as you climax, getting his cock even more wet which in return makes him even crazier for you.
You're sure the bed will break with the force he's fucking you with, his cock slipping out of you a few more times, making him whimper every time it happens.
He grips your hips, thrusting into you erratically as his cock twitches inside you.
"Gonna give you my cum." his voice is whiny and high-pitched, breathless from the exertion.
"Yes, fill me up, Lixie!" you whimper and he cums, buried deep inside you as your pussy milks his cock down to the last drop.
Felix collapses on top of you and you hold each other, as you listen to the sound of the rain hitting the glass.
"Isn't it weird that it started raining as soon as I mentioned it?" you swallow, staring out the window, your hands drawing random patterns on Felix's back.
You feel him tense in your hold before he lets out a chuckle.
"No, maybe you heard it on the news and subconsciously thought about it or something. Or maybe..." he turns to look at you, his cheek leaned on your breast. "Maybe you have superpowers and you can predict the future." Felix wiggles his eyebrows playfully and you let out a snort.
"Oh sure, that sounds highly likely." you shake your head as he lifts up and kisses you.
"I love you." he smiles after attacking you with sweet kisses.
"I love you, Lixie." you cradle his face.
"Guess we gotta shower again?"
The next morning, you were woken up by Felix's lips on your inner thighs as he made his way to your core.
"Lix..." you mutter half asleep and he only hums in response, lips ghosting over your panties before pressing a kiss to your cunt.
"L-Lixie!" you whine when his tongue darts out to lick at the damp spot on the fabric.
"Relax, baby, let me take care of you." your eyes flutter closed again as he slips off your underwear, his lips wrapping around your clit immediately.
As always, Felix is hungry for you, like he can never get enough of your taste and the way you feel against his tongue, the way you grip his hair or press your thighs around his head.
He ruts against the bedsheets as you slide your middle against tongue, gripping his hair.
He moans into you, the vibrations helping you get closer to the edge as he digs his nails into your plushy thighs.
Fireworks explode from the inside, spilling your sweet juices on Felix's tongue and chin.
"Mm, baby." he whines against your cunt, lapping you up and leaving more kisses on your clit and all along your folds.
"Sensitive..." you whimper and he leans back before lifting up and hovering over you.
"I couldn't help myself, you just looked so sweet while sleeping." Felix bites on his lip as he looks at you adoringly.
"Oh, I don't mind." you smirk. "Let me help you."
"Um..." his face becomes red suddenly. "I - erm, finished already."
"Oh. Oh." you look down at his boxers.
"Embarassing, really."
"It's not. I'm flattered actually." you smirk, caressing his face.
Felix chuckles cutely before leaning down to kiss you.
"What's the plan for today?" you ask against his lips.
"Well, I was thinking we could have a picnic. I mean, it's sunny again." he nods towards the window.
"Okay, I love picnics." you smile as he gets up.
"Actually, I don't remember when was the last time I went on a picnic." you purse your lips, sitting up.
For some reason, memories seem blurry when you start thinking about them, it almost hurts your brain to try and remember well; almost anything.
"We had one like a month ago. Remember? You cut up fruits in the shapes of little stars." Felix says, rummaging through his drawer.
It's as if it suddenly appears in your mind, the clear memory of you preparing for the picnic together with Felix, enjoying a sunny day in the nature.
"Right, I remember now." you chuckle nervously. "Why couldn't I remember that?"
"You just woke up, you need some coffee, my love." Felix comes up to you and kisses your head.
"I'm gonna go take a quick shower." he says and you nod, watching him leave to the bathroom.
You get up and make your way to the kitchen, making some coffee and toast for the two of you, before you start preparing snacks for the picnic.
While you're working on the sandwiches, you can't shake off the uneasy feeling that's creating a knot in your stomach.
When was the last time you went outside without Felix? When was the last time he walked out of the house to go to work? When was the last time you talked to your family?
You can't remember. None of it.
Before you start panicking, Felix appears in the kitchen, startling you.
"Oh, Lix!" you exclaim, your hand on your chest.
"What scared you? It's just me." he smiles sweetly at you.
You stare at him for a moment, could he be hiding something from you?
But Felix is always so caring and loving, he is the best partner you could ever ask for.
He always makes an effort, takes you out on dates, takes care of you when you're tired or sick, is attentive towards your wants and needs; he actually listens to you when you talk.
He loves you.
"Y/n?" Felix chuckles, waving a hand in front of your face.
"Ah, sorry." you laugh awkwardly. "Was just lost in thought."
"What were you thinking about?" Felix grabs one of the toasts you made and bites into it.
"You. How wonderful of a boyfriend you are." you settle on saying, because it is sort of true.
"Aw, darling. Only the best for you." he skips towards you with a big smile, enveloping you in a bone crushing hug as you squeal and grab at him, both of you laughing.
How could you even doubt him?
Felix helps you with the rest of the snacks before the two of you get ready and walk out into another beautiful sunny day.
The walk is short, as there is a park near to your house, your memory now refreshed as you see the tree you always sit under coming into view.
Felix and you race towards the tree, laughing and giddy like little children.
You almost get there first but his arms wrap around your middle and he pulls you back into him, making you almost drop the basket of food you were carrying.
"Lixie! That's cheating!" you put as he turns you around and touches the tree with his foot.
"I won!" Felix smirks.
You pout at him as he puts his backpack down and takes out the picnic blanket.
"Not fair." you whine and he chuckles at you, cupping your face.
"Fine, you won and I'm just a dirty cheater." he smirks and you laugh as he kisses you.
"There, is that better?" he rubs his nose against yours.
"Yes." you nod, making him laugh.
The two of you settle on the blanket, even bringing a speaker so you can play some music while you chat and eat.
After some time, Felix wraps his arm around you and leans on you so you wrap your arms around him as he settles on your chest.
It's quiet for a while and since your focus is not on Felix at the moment, you start looking around.
Cars roll in the distance, one, two, three, four, five, six, then again... It seems as if the same six cars keep passing by.
You stare in disbelief before your eyes fall near the pond where a man is throwing a stick to his dog.
It lands next to a tree and the dog runs to get it, bringing it back to its owner. Then it repeats, the man throws the stick, it lands next to the same tree, the dog gets it, the man throws the stick...
The stick keeps landing on the exact same spot next to that tree, the probability of that is too low for it to be happening repeatedly.
"Lix?" you swallow.
"Yes, sweets?" Felix looks up at you.
"Do you ever- do you ever feel like something is wrong? But you can't quite put your finger on it."
"What do you mean?" he lifts up to look at you, his eyes searching yours.
"Well... Look at that man and his dog." you point and Felix turns to look.
"What about them?"
"Watch where the stick lands." you say and Felix watches as it lands next to the tree.
And so it does again. And again.
"So?" he licks his lips.
"How is he hitting the exact same spot every time?"
"Good hand-eye coordination? Practice?" Felix says, a nervous smile on his face.
You sigh in frustration.
"What about the road? Look at the road!" you point again and Felix looks.
"The same six cars keep going round and round."
"They're not the same, it just seems so."
"Felix, something is wrong. I can feel it! Like how it started raining when I mentioned it. And the lady in the diner yesterday, she kept drinking from her glass but the amount of liquid stayed the same."
"Babe, that's silly. Nothing is wrong. I'm sure it just seemed so, maybe the glass was in the same color as her drink?" Felix places his hand on yours cautiously.
"Lix... I don't know, it's just that I can't remember certain things and it's bothering me."
Felix's eyes dart left and right, his lips pursed.
"Like what?"
"Like the last time I saw my friends or family. The last time you left the house. The last time I was home alone."
"We visited your family two months ago. You saw your friends last weekend. I left the house last week every day when I was working and you were home alone then." Felix frowns as he looks at you. "Baby, are you feeling alright?" he adds, touching your forehead and your eyes water.
"N-no." you whimper, feeling so confused and wondering what the hell is wrong with you.
"How about we go home and you take a nap? I promise you'll feel better after sleeping." Felix coos at you, caressing your face.
"Are you sure it's gonna be okay?" you hiccup.
"I promise, my love." he smiles, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.
Felix takes you home, and you trust him when he lays you down and whispers how everything is going to be just fine.
You wake up from your nap feeling drowsy and slightly confused.
Felix is next to you, his arms wrapped around you as he breathes deeply.
You sit up, grabbing the glass of water he has left on the nightstand for you when you wake up.
After sipping on the refreshing liquid, you look outside the window and freeze.
"What the fuck?" you mumble to yourself, squinting your eyes as you get up.
"What the fuck?" you repeat, trying to process what your eyes are seeing and Felix stirs behind you.
"Babe?" he grunts a little as he sits up.
"L-Lix..." your voice is shaky as you start panicking.
Felix gets up as you keep staring out the window.
The void stares back at you.
There is nothing outside. No road, no trees, no supermarket, it's not the street you live on, it's one big nothing; just a white light.
"Oh, shit!" Felix exclaims as he sees what you're looking at.
"I told you! I told you something is wrong!" you turn to look at your boyfriend, tears sliding down your cheeks.
But instead of looking scared, Felix looks angry.
"Fucking shit!" his voice raises as his hands reach towards the books on your table, and in frustration he pulls on them, making them clatter down on the floor.
"Felix!" you exclaim as he starts raging, throwing everything on the table down to the floor in a wave of anger.
You've never seen him like this, panicking you step back, not knowing how to react to his outburst or what it all means.
Felix looks up at you suddenly, his eyes softening and filling up with guilt.
"I'm- I'm sorry, y/n."
"Tell me what is happening." you say and he shakes his head.
"Stay here." he says and you step towards him.
"No, tell me what's going on!" you demand and the scowl is back on your boyfriend's face.
"Stay right here and stop asking fucking questions." he says angrily, making you flinch before he leaves the room.
The door slams behind him and as you make your move to follow him, you hear the lock click.
"Felix?" you grip the handle, trying to open up the door. "Felix! You can't just lock me in here without any explanation!" you scream, rattling and kicking the door.
"Felix, please come back!" you yell, your fists pounding against the wood. "I'm scared." you add quietly as fresh tears spill down your cheeks.
Felix disconnects the VR set from his head.
How the fuck did this happen?
How come it didn't render the street as it always does? Why have you started noticing the little things you've never noticed before? Why have you started thinking about your past so much?
He opens up the code with a frustrated sigh, his fingers gliding against the keyboard.
Maybe the AI is getting stronger and more brainy the more he plays with it.
Felix's eyebrows knit together as he goes over the thousands lines of code, trying to figure out if there is some kind of mistake that the computer is not picking up on.
His stomach grumbles and he leans back with a sigh, the virtual food can only do so much.
Felix finally stands up from his table, realizing how long he must've been sitting there judging by the ache in his legs and back.
"I'll deal with you later." he waves his finger towards the computer before picking up his phone and ordering pizza.
He grabs a can of soda from his fridge and looks around.
It's eerily quiet in his apartment, save for the silent buzzing of his computer and the distant hum of traffic outside.
Felix makes his way to the big glass windows, staring down at the city before him.
He's gonna have to go back to work on Monday, knowing he can't spend as much time with you the way he wants to when his vacation days end, brings a sadness to his soul.
The 'you' who basically doesn't exist, you who is just lines and lines of code, a program, there only when he disconnects from reality.
If he could, Felix would disconnect from it forever just so he could be inside the damn device next to you, always.
And now since he made you upset, it's going to be hard to get everything back how it was before, under his control.
He gets angry at himself for not being more careful and adding in more details, all for the sake of just being with you the whole time, seeing you happy and satisified.
Yes, that's all Felix wants.
He wants to be the only one you smile at, the only one that gets to enjoy something so holy and beautiful like your love and your touch.
The doorbell snaps him out of his thoughts and after paying the delivery guy, Felix sits alone and eats his dinner while thinking of ways to correct his mistakes.
You were not gonna slip from his fingers.
This won't be ruined for him.
You open your eyes and turn to see Felix already awake, on his side, his head propped on his hand as he stares at you lovingly.
"Good morning, my angel." he smiles at you.
"M-morning. I- ugh... I feel weird. I think I had a nightmare." your throat is dry as you swallow and Felix grabs the glass of water, bringing it to your lips.
"What kind of nightmare?"
"Well, there was nothing outside- outside the windows. And you got mad and started throwing stuff around. You really scared me."
"Oh my love, that would never happen." Felix quickly wraps his arms around you. "Everything outside is fine too, look." he turns you both towards the window and sure enough, everything looks normal.
"I'm so glad it was just a dream. I never want us to fight or anything." you whimper and Felix shushes you.
"Everything is perfect, my love. And I will make sure it stays that way." Felix mutters into your hair before pressing a few sweet kisses there.
"It's my last free day before going to work. Let's enjoy it together, without you worrying your pretty head about anything, hm?" he adds and you nod with a chuckle.
Felix and you decide to go bowling and then out for lunch, topping the outing off with a nice walk near the beach and everything seems perfect again; nothing like the bad dream you had or the unsettling feeling in your stomach.
No, that feeling was replaced with butterflies as Felix smiled lovingly at you, telling you how much he loves you.
When you got home, you spent hours in each other's embrace, connected as one.
Everything was beautiful, the way it was supposed to be.
It's Monday and Felix makes his way to work.
The bell on the door chimes as he opens it, eyes looking up at him from the counter.
He smiles wide as he enters.
"Hi, Lix!" you smile innocently at him.
"Hey, y/n." he smiles back, the voices in his head telling him he's sick but he ignores them.
"How was your vacation? Did something fun?" you ask, always so sweet, so polite, so pretty.
"Oh yeah. It was amazing." he nods at you.
You smile, not wanting to pry too much, unaware of what Felix has been doing for almost two years since he started working with you.
As soon as he saw you for the first time, Felix swears he felt Cupid shoot his arrow right into his heart. You were so beautiful, so pure like an angel.
Always smiling, always nice with everyone. The sound of your laughter melodious inside the cafe, echoing off the walls.
You always gave extra sweets to kids.
You always stayed behind to clean up.
You always offered to help out.
He wanted to have you all to himself.
He wanted to capture your beauty and innocence and hold it in the palm of his hand, have it exist only for him.
Yes, Felix could've confessed or asked you out.
But then you would see how boring he is, how he has nothing to offer to you.
You'd leave him, you'd smile at someone else, your attention wouldn't be only directed towards him.
Felix started staying behind with you, under the guise of helping you out just to get more information about where you live, what you enjoy, what you dislike, what your hobbies are.
It wasn't enough.
He became obsessed.
Felix learned your schedule and started breaking into your house.
At first, he stole some panties and went through all your stuff, reading your diaries, going through your photographs, taking your privacy away from you without you having a clue about it.
But then it became worse as he would wait for you to come home, his body cramped under your bed.
He would watch you get undressed, listen to you touch yourself on your bed, his cock straining against his pants and he couldn't do anything about it except squeeze it occasionally.
Embarassingly, he came into his pants while only listening to you more times than he'd like to admit.
It wasn't enough.
Felix was hungry for more.
That's how he came to the idea to steal your dna and feed it to the new AI system he was working on in his spare time.
He had to collect enough of it to have the ai take on your personality, the one he loved and admired so much.
Felix spent hours and hours coding and working on the program, until finally he could use it.
It was everything he wanted and more.
You were happy there.
You were his there.
Here, in the real world, you were just coworkers and that fact started bothering Felix more and more.
Unaware of his intentions, you smiled at Felix and he smiled back at you.
It was time to take another step so he could have you for real this time.
Tonight, you were gonna become his and there was no way to escape.
Felix was gonna show you how happy he can make you, only him.
You're going to be right where you belong.
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Waste a Moment / Part 8
Summary : Bucky had always kept his distance, but seeing you get hurt on a mission changed everything. For the first time, he has a chance to start over with you.
Pairing : Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader (she/her)
Warnings/tags : Mentions of food. Cursing. Memory loss. Head injury. Reader used to work in a museum. Descriptions of sex (not graphic)
Requested by : @remoony
Word count : 3.9k
Note : Loved the new Thunderbolts trailer. I am so excited to see Buck and Yelena interact in MCU canon! I will also be posting a thunderbolts! Bucky one shot soon so keep your eyes peeled! Also I know I uploaded yesterday but I have this locked and loaded and ready to go so this chapter’s early! 🫶
Series Masterlist
"Cursed By the Crown"
Friday.
You had already left the compound, exhausted from the day’s session. Bucky had stayed behind, as he often did, cleaning up the equipment and keeping to himself.
Yelena leaned on the doorway, watching him for a moment.
“Up for a spar?” Her tone was light, though her eyes had a stormy darkness to them.
Bucky exhaled, not even looking up. “It’s late.”
“Oh, come on.” She sauntered in, shrugging off her jacket and rolling her shoulders, settling into a loose stance. “Scared, Barnes?”
He shook his head, though his eyes never met hers. “Fine,” he said, almost to himself, moving into a ready position.
Bucky tightened his fists, his knuckles cracking under the pressure.
They began circling each other, slowly, like predators circling prey.
Yelena struck first, swift and precise.
He blocked it, barely, the impact reverberating up his arm.
Yelena was relentless today. She pivoted, her leg sweeping out in a low arc, forcing him to jump back. She didn’t give him time to reset; she was on him again, fists flying in a controlled, practiced fury.
“You know, before she lost her memory,” Yelena’s voice emerged between punches, “she always thought you hated her.”
Bucky’s eyes widened.
She capitalized on it, her fist slamming into his ribs. He gasped, the pain sharp and immediate.
He forced himself to push back, retaliating with a swift punch aimed at her shoulder.
She staggered back.
“Now’s not the time,” he growled.
She threw another punch, this one grazing his jaw, just over the bruise you had given him when you punched him in your sleep.
Yelena ignored his warning.
“You pushed her away. You were cold. Distant,” she said, words punctuated by each blow she landed, as if each strike was meant to drive home her accusation.
Bucky could feel his temper rising, a familiar rage simmering beneath his touch skin.
Bucky caught her wrist with his metal arm mid-punch and twisting it, but careful not to break it. He shoved her back, but only for her to use the momentum to spring up again, her heel catching him across the jaw in a brutal arc.
He could taste the metallic tang of blood from his lip, but he didn’t back down.
“Stop it,” he snapped. But she ignored him, her strikes coming harder. Faster.
“But you were always so protective of her,” she continued as she threw another punch, this one catching his shoulder. “Even when you pretended not to care, you watched over her. You noticed everything— the way she liked her coffee. Her favourite colour, the way she played with the ends of her hair when she was nervous.” She landed another blow, a quick jab to his gut that left him gasping. “Everyone noticed how much you cared. Everyone but her. But you pushed her away.”
Bucky swallowed, barely managing to hold back the waves of emotion threatening to break the surface.
This time, he punched harder, knowing Yelena wasn’t going to hold back.
He brought his knees up to her head. He didn’t put enough force to give her a concussion, but enough to draw blood from her forehead.
Yelena blocked a hit from his human arm.
“Don’t tell her,” he said abruptly, his voice harsher than he intended.
“Why not?” She gripped his forearm.
He broke free, striking a punch that she couldn’t dodge, throwing her off balance.
“I don’t want her to think of me like that,” Bucky replied.
Yelena’s eyebrows furrowed.
“She’s not going to remember it on her own, Barnes.” Her knee shot up, catching him in the side. He staggered back, pain flaring through his ribs. “You’re the only one who can tell her how you were before and why.”
He blocked her next punch, gripping her arm tightly. He shoved her back.
Yelena stumbled, but she recovered quickly.
“What good is it going to do?” he bit out in frustration.
“If you don’t tell her, you’re going to carry that guilt forever,” she hissed. She aimed a punch at his jaw, but he ducked, countering with a brutal blow to her side. She gasped, wincing in pain. “N-not everybody—“ she spat a bit of blood on the mat— “It’s not everyday you get a second chance like this.”
“Second chances?” he echoed, throwing a punch that she narrowly avoided. “You want to talk to me about second chances, Belova?”
He watched as her usually flawless stance faltered.
“Sam told me,” he continued, his words venomous. “That you were too scared to see her. That you locked yourself up and whined and cried or whatever you did— when she was dying.”
Yelena’s face paled, her fists curling at her sides. Bucky saw the hurt behind her eyes, and maybe even a familiar guilt that followed him, too.
Yelena’s expression faltered. She opened her mouth to protest, but Bucky cut her off, putting another jab at the sides.
“At least I was there,” he said, his voice a mixture of frustration and pain as he dodged a side kick. “I sat by her bedside. I watched watched her fight just to breathe. I couldn’t— wouldn’t want her to be alone when she woke up. You think it was easy, watching her hooked up to all those machines just to stay alive?”
The words hit their mark; Yelena flinched as Bucky caught her in a headlock. Lucky for her, she knew how to outsmart a stronger opponent. She reached over in a desperate attempt to jab a finger close to his eyes as she could without blinding him.
When she broke free of his grip, she landed a vicious punch to his ribs, hard enough to make him double over.
“You think I didn’t want to be there?” she shouted, her voice cracked. She struck again, her fist connecting with his jaw, splitting the skin just below his cheekbone. Blood trickled down his face, mingling with the salty sting of sweat. “I couldn’t— I couldn’t lose another sister.”
“Excuses,” Bucky stumbled before catching himself. “I might have been cold. I might have kept my distance. But when she ran out of the compound, I tracked her. I offered her a place to stay. I was there when it mattered.”
“It’s doesn’t matter if I hurt her now,” Yelena’s voice rose now, almost a scream. “I am nothing. A friend, at most. I’m no longer a sister to her because she doesn’t fucking remember!” She took a breath, shoving Bucky down to the mat. “But you? You should hear the way she talks about you, Bucky. It’s like you hung the stars for her.”
He got up and turned away, chest heaving.
He was done.
Done with Yelena’s accusations. Her demands. Her criticism.
Mostly because he knew she was right.
Before he could storm out, she grabbed his arm, forcing him to face her again, her eyes ablaze with a mixture of hurt and desperation.
“If she finds out that I wasn’t there, it wouldn’t fucking matter,” she spat, her voice trembling in her Russian accent, dripping thicker now that she was shaking. “But if she finds out about you? It would break her. Because right now, you mean more to her than I ever did. Or ever could.”
Bucky’s breath caught, the words hitting harder than any punch she’d thrown.
“You don’t get it,” he muttered, his voice barely a whisper, his gaze fixed on the floor.
Yelena’s grip tightened.
“No, you don’t get it,” she snapped, “She deserves to know who she’s falling in love with. All of you. Not just the parts you think are good enough for her.”
She’s falling in love with me?
His fists loosened, his shoulders slumped. He looked at her swollen lip, her cut forehead, and realised what he’d done.
Yelena took a shaky breath, stepping back, but her gaze didn’t waver. “Just… think about it,” she pleaded.
She turned and walked away, leaving him standing there, alone.
Bucky watched her, his face smeared with blood.
His blank stare flooded his mind back with memories—the moments where he had pushed you away, where he had convinced himself he wasn’t good enough for you, that you deserved someone better.
But now, he had a clean slate. He could be the person he always wanted to be for you.
Maybe Yelena was right. Maybe he should tell you. But for now, he kept it to himself, wondering if he was making a mistake.
—
The door creaked open in your apartment.
Bucky tried to slip in quietly, but the minute you heard his footsteps, you emerged from the kitchen. You saw him standing near the small lamp, bruised and bloodied.
Your heart leapt into your throat, rushing over immediately.
“Bucky!” you gasped. You saw his split lip, the bruising above his cheekbone, the cuy along his jawline. He stood there, looking like he wanted the walls to swallow him whole.
You reached for him, guiding him toward the couch.
“What happened?” you asked, hands fluttering over his injuries as if you could somehow will them to disappear. The fear in your voice made him drop his gaze, his jaw clenching before he answered.
“Yelena,” he said, dismissively quick. “We were just sparring.” He tried to brush it off, but you knew Bucky’s little tells now— the way his eyebrows knitted when he had a lot on his mind.
You eyed the bruises and the dried blood on his knuckles. “Just sparring?” you frowned. “You shouldn’t be training this… violently.”
He huffed, a weak smile tugging at his lips that didn’t reach his eyes. He started to say something, maybe to brush it off again, but the concern on your face made him go quiet.
You grabbed the first-aid kit Bruce had left— since he had been showing you teaching you basics over the last few days— you know, how to tend to a bullet wound. How to dislodge an arrow safely.
He watched you open the box. His breath hitched as you rifled through it, muttering under your breath about “reckless idiots” and “grown ass spies who should know better.” Every so often, you glanced up, checking him with worried eyes.
He realized then just how much you truly cared. Just how deeply your concern ran.
She looks at you like you hung the stars for her, Yelena had said.
For the first time in a long time, he let himself be cared for—really cared for, not as a soldier, not as a mission.
“Maybe… I’ll have to talk to her about going easy on you,” you murmured with a small, gentle smile.
Never, he thought to himself, Yelena will never go easy on me. Not if I don’t tell you.
You pulled out antiseptic wipes and gauze, pulling him down on the cushions, letting him place his duffel bag on the floor.
You kneeled down in front of him, taking his face in your hands with a tenderness that made his heart skip a beat. He felt the gentle kindness in your touch, the careful way you pressed against each wound.
“Hold still,” you whispered. You could see the vulnerability in his eyes. It was so unexpected that it sent your heart racing a thousand miles an hour.
Your fingers brushed the cut on his jaw, sending a dull ache through his skin, though he didn’t flinch. He just watched you, eyes tracing every line of your face. He studied the determination in your eyes, the way your lips parted in focus as you pressed the fabric against his swollen lip.
He felt his pulse race, fighting back the urge to reach for you.
You were so close, so painfully close.
You were so kind, partly because you didn’t know— didn’t know how he treated you then.
But now, you were looking at him with that delicate stare, with a warmth that felt like forgiveness for sins you didn’t even remember… it was too much.
And fuck, he was so deeply, desperately in love with you. Every careful touch of your hands, every time your eyes met his— it made his chest ache.
He knew he had to have you now. Before Yelena could take you away from him.
Before Yelena could ruin this.
The words escaped him, hoarse, almost a whisper.
“Kiss me.”
Your hands froze, your eyes widened.
The words echoed in your mind. Time felt like it had slowed to a stop, your thoughts scrambled.
You had wanted this—wanted him—for so long, but had always held back. You did not want to cross that line.
But now… now, he was asking you to, almost pleading.
He swallowed, suddenly fearing he’d overstepped.
But before he could apologize or take the words back, you leaned in, crashing your lips on to his, mindful of the bruise he had.
He was hesitant at first, waiting for you to pull back, to change your mind. When you didn’t, when you wrapped your arms around his neck, his restraint shattered.
His hands moved to your waist, pulling you closer.
Your lips deepened into his, turning desperate, urgent, and he drank every part of you in. His metal hand roamed up your back, pressing against you as though he were trying to memorize every curve, every inch of you.
Your fingers slid into his hair, and he groaned low in his throat. He sounded rough, needy. His hands found your waist, pulling you on his lap. You straddled him, inching closer. He felt your heartbeat against his chest, wild and frantic, just like his.
You grew hungrier, his mouth moving against yours with a fierce, aching desperation that left him dizzy. He found himself lost in you, his hands gripping you tighter, scared that you would slip away.
“I don’t know if I loved you then,” You broke away just long enough to gasp, “but I love you now.”
Bucky’s breath hitched as he pressed his forehead against yours.
Yours. He thought. I am yours now. No matter what Yelena says.
“I love you too,” he murmured, his voice barely more than a ragged whisper.
For a moment, nothing else existed but the two of you, the world slipping away as he kissed again.
It was rougher this time, his hands slipping beneath the hem of your shirt, feeling the warmth of your skin beneath his human fingers. You arched into his touch, gasping, and he kissed the hollow of your throat, breathing in the scent of you, feeling the way you clung to him.
And then, through the haze, a thought crept in, sharp and unwelcome, cutting through the bliss.
She deserves to know who she’s falling in love with, Yelena had said.
His hands stilled, the words rattling in his mind. He couldn’t ignore the truth—he was selfishly keeping you in the dark, shielding you from his mistakes, his regrets.
He knew, deep down, that Yelena was right.
But as you looked at him, eyes half-lidded and love drunk, fingers tracing his jaw lovingly, he couldn’t bring himself to shatter the moment.
He cupped your face, brushing his thumb along your cheek, pulling you back into another kiss. It was soft this time, as if you were fragile. He thought could bury the guilt in the taste of you, and it did, if only for a while.
For now, he would keep this to himself, whatever the cost. He would let himself have this piece of you, even if it meant carrying the weight of the past alone.
Because, holding you like this, witnessing your love, he knew he’d sacrifice anything to keep you in his arms.
Monday.
The morning dawned in soft, golden light spilling through your curtains, and the warmth of it brought a gentle wakefulness that was better than any alarm.
You were still tucked in Bucky’s arms. Even in sleep, he had held you close.
You stayed there for a few moments, enjoying the quiet before the day began, feeling his heartbeat strong and steady under your cheek.
You gently stirred, and Bucky’s arm tightened slightly.
His eyes slowly fluttered open to meet yours. Still hazy with sleep and a little unfocused, a small, sleepy smile pulled at his lips.
For a while, he just looked at you. He had a tender quiet, tender awe in his expression that made your heart skip. His hand brushed lightly through your hair, his thumb tracing soft, absent-minded patterns against your shoulder as if he were memorizing the feel of you there beside him.
"Good morning," he murmured, his voice still thick and warm from sleep.
You smiled. "Good morning."
"I hope last night was… okay." There was a slight pink to his cheeks, as if he hadn’t quite processed what happened.
Last night had begun slowly.
It had started with soft, teasing kisses, and grew heated, electric. His hands began to explore, gliding down your back. The need was there—gentle yet unmistakable.
Each touch had been a gentle question, asking if you wanted him to keep going, and each time, your answer had come in the way you tugged him closer, the way your hands wandered over his skin, over his metal arm as if it was flesh and bone.
As you moved to the bed, his lips found their way down your neck. He had pressed slow, tender kisses that left you trembling, soft gasps escaping your mouth. His hands had traveled down your sides. He had to let you feel how long he had wanted this for, yet never rushing.
The two of you had found a rhythm that felt like it was only yours and yours alone. You had laid there with him, moving together in a seamless, gentle flow. His gaze hadn’t left yours, even as his breaths grew heavier and his grip tightened. He had needed you to know how much he wanted you.
Your fingers had threaded through his hair, his name a soft whisper on your lips as you both grasped for each other’s high.
After cleaning and washing up, you had laid in your his and drifted off to sleep. The concrete had fallen on you in your dreams again, but this time you had been calm. This time, you had known it was going to pass.
“It was more than okay,” you whispered, leaning closer, feeling his fingers tighten around you in response.
Shyly, you gave a chaste kiss on his lips.
He returned it with a gentle smile.
Eventually, you both made your way to the kitchen, the usual morning routine feeling new and intimate now.
He brewed coffee while you prepped breakfast, and though you both moved around in comfortable silence.
Every time you reached for something on the counter, his hand would brush against yours, and every time, he’d give you a playful grin.
After breakfast, he grabbed his jacket and raised an eyebrow. “Want to take a walk?”
The air outside was fresh with the early morning scent of dew on grass. The two of you walked side by side, his fingers brushing against yours with a sweet, hesitant touch, as if he were testing the waters. Finally, he slipped his hand into yours.
You felt your cheeks warming, but you laced your fingers together without hesitation.
Wednesday.
You woke up in Bucky’s arms again, and that night, the nightmares didn’t even come for you.
You did your morning routine, opting for a walk a little closer to lunch.
He pulled you into a tiny bookstore nestled into the corner of a quiet street, the cozy little shop bathed in soft, amber light and filled with the scent of dusty old pages. You wandered through the aisles, hands still entwined, occasionally stopping to point out interesting titles or laugh at the oddball covers on some of the paperbacks.
He picked out a book that you loved, holding it out with an encouraging smile. “This one’s supposed to be great,” he said, the excitement in his voice contagious.
“Oh, really?” you replied, grinning as you took the book and added it to your stack.
The walk back to your place was even better, both of you lost in soft laughter as he pointed out small things around the neighborhood you’d only noticed noticed now—a tiny coffee shop you’d walked by countless times, a mural tucked behind an old theater.
Back at your apartment, you settled on the couch, sipping water as you thumbed through the pages of your new book. Bucky leaned back beside you, stretching an arm around your shoulders, and you leaned into him without a second thought.
His fingers traced gentle patterns on your shoulder as you read, and it took everything in you to keep your focus on the words in front of you, though you found yourself glancing over at him every few minutes, catching him watching you with that soft, steady gaze.
“Something on your mind?” you teased, nudging him slightly.
“Yeah,” he replied, his voice soft, sincere. “Just… you.” His words were so earnest that you felt yourself melt, unable to keep from smiling as you leaned in closer, your head resting on his shoulder.
The evening drifted in, you’d both fallen into a comfortable routine of watching a movie after dinner, and tonight was no different. As the movie started, Bucky wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close against him.
Halfway through, he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. You looked up as he brushed a strand of hair from your face before pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, then your nose, and finally, your lips. It was a sweet, lingering kiss, slow and filled with an unspoken promise that made your heart ache in the best way.
You settled back against him, resting your head on his chest.
“I could get used to this,” he murmured.
“Me too,” you whispered.
Sunday.
Some nights, in the last couple of days, Bucky would find himself wide awake, sitting in silence on the edge of the bed, watching you sleep. The room was steeped in darkness, but there was just enough moonlight to illuminate the soft rise and fall of your chest.
The sight of you in gentle slumber, after all those weeks of struggling with the nightmares, should have reassured him, should have brought him comfort. But instead, it made his heart ache with a strange longing.
Regret.
He sat there, hunched forward. Often, his hands clasped tightly together. His mind would wander, as it usually did in these quiet hours.
It drifted to the way he’d been with you before. Cold. Guarded. Pushing you away, convincing himself that he was doing the right thing by keeping his distance.
He’d been so convinced you’d be better off without him, that he was doing you a favor by holding back, by shutting you out whenever you got too close.
But now… now you were giving him a second chance without even knowing it.
He wondered, night after night, if he was good enough for you now.
He couldn’t quite shake the fear that he was still falling short. That, one day, you’d remember everything, and this fragile happiness he’d found would shatter.
Part of him wanted to tell you, to open up, to confess everything about the person he’d been. The part of him that wanted you to know the truth, even if it hurt, even if it meant risking what he had with you now. But every time he got close to imagining what that conversation might look like, he’d stop himself. He would imagine your face filled with hurt, with betrayal.
Could he be the person you thought he was without telling you the truth about who he’d been?
-to be continued...
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𓈒⠀⠀⠀⠀︵︵ ⠀◟ † ◞ ⠀︵︵ㅤ⠀⠀⠀⠀𓈒 ⠀
。゚゚・。・゚゚。 ♫₊ ⊹ 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝔀 𝓶𝓮 𝓱𝓸𝔀 : 𝓂𝑒𝓃 𝒾 𝓉𝓇𝓊𝓈𝓉 ゚。ꪆ୧. 𝓹𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻 𝓸𝓾𝓽𝓪𝓰𝓮 𓂃 ˖ ˚◞✧
── TETSURŌ KUROO ﹕ 黒尾 鉄朗 ┊͙ HAIKYUU!! ◝✩
𓋜 hq. masterlist // general masterlist.
premise. thunderstorms scare you greatly. but thanks to your cute neighbour, you know you’ll be okay after all.
content. tetsurou kuroo / f!reader. fluff — sfw. reader is a scared of storms, mainly thunder. power outage. set ambiguously post highschool / in a university au setting. some angst if you squint + comfort. neighbours -> lovers.
word count. 4k-ish.
soundtrack. show me how : men i trust.
dedicated to beloved @tetsuskei , happy birthday ! ‹𝟹
écoute chérie! ᰔ updated repost from old bloggie , i haven’t beta it fully and sorry it’s nothing that is quite new but i hope that this one’s still a worthwhile read for you ^_^
03:24
You barely manage to catch the flickering lights of your dining room's lamp glitch out repeatedly from the corner of your eye, the lights inside your dingy apartment appearing to go haywire as constant streams of raindrops pound against the glass of your windows.
With each passing second they seem to multiply tenfold of the previous, their impact upon crashing into each other sometimes merging with one another in sync to form a continuous stream of running water trickling down the brick walls of your complex instead of the constant buzz of millions of tiny water droplets.
The soft glow from your lamp dims momentarily before stalling to a staggering halt. Your hopes of it reigniting by itself are quickly dashed when you see it attempt to start back up again for a few seconds before going completely dead. And after a few seconds of the darkness swallowing your apartment whole a disgruntled sigh escapes your lips as you close your textbook.
“Ah, damn it . . .” You bemoan into the blanketing sea of black ahead of you. “Not again . . .”
Slowly you stand up from your seat at the dining table, cautiously pushing your chair back just a little as to not hit the rest of your furniture before carefully maneuvering your way through the dark of your living room.
“Where the hell did I put that flashlight . . . ?”
You really should've thought to charge your phone and powerbank ahead of time when you heard a thunderstorm was making it's way to your city on the news earlier. Now with a dead cellphone battery and an empty powerbank, you're left to fend for yourself amist the unknown layout of your apartment without a light source.
Scuffling around in the dark, you take a step forward, miscalculating how much distance there is infront of you as you find yourself accidentally ramming your shin against the side of your unusually hard bookshelf, sending you reeling in agonizing pain stomach first and flopping right onto your couch.
Ouch.
Your teeth grind against each other as you hold your shin, wincing while rocking slightly in an attempt to alleviate the pain. “God, that did not sound good . . .” You can't see through the near pitch black lowlight of your apartment, but you're almost certain a nasty bruise may have begun to form on your skin from that.
A few more minutes of stumbling finally merits you to where you had originally intended to end up in the first place— the supply closet.
Feeling around for the door's surface your hand manages to find it's grip onto the smooth metal handle, twisting it open and carefully reaching out into the darkness.
“It should be on the second shelf . . . or was it the third? Fuck, I really can't see anything right now . . .”
Your fingers brush up against the elastic wrist tie of the flashlight (it was on the third shelf after all, go figure) and you impatiently snatch it from off the pile of other assorted junk you've haphazardly thrown in there throughout the years.
All you hear is a soft click within the suffocating silence as you turn on the device before your eyes are bombarded by a bright white flash, the sudden overload causing you to stumble back a bit into the wall of your apartment, blinking repeatedly to soothe the burn in the back of your retinas.
Maybe it's not the best idea to hold a flashlight so close to your face while it's aiming (or pointed) directly into your eyes.
Using your newly gained lightsource you make your way to the fuse box in your kitchen, now being able to easily navigate your way through the dark you give yourself a moment to stop and glare at the corner of your bookshelf that you'd run into earlier.
“Asshole,” you mutter underneath your breath through gritted teeth as you pass it by, as if you’re expecting the sharp piece of oak furniture to respond to you with a mind and voice of it’s own conscience. Though you suppose that’d might be just a little bit creepy considering your current situation.
Opening the fuse box, you shine the glow from your flashlight onto the many circuits housed within, eyes trailing down and scanning each one for the labels of what light they control.
Experimentally switching the one for the living room on, you glance outside your kitchen and into the hallway to check, only to be met with shockingly apparent disappointment as you greet the nothingness of the night that stares right back at you.
Just as a confirmation (and because you're stubborn), you switch a couple more of the circuits on and off repeatedly, disappointment maring your features yet again when they yield no results. “No power at all . . .” You deduce, closing the fuse box’s lid with a begrudging huff.
A deep crackle of thunder booms from the sky outside, startling you as you nearly drop the flashlight in your hands if not for the wrist tie securing it. A few seconds of heaving and checking outside your kitchen's windows— only to see more rain than you could ever possibly need in three lifetimes —causes you to ease up a little.
You feel a chill run down your bare arms, goosebumps rising all over the backs of your legs. The short sleeves and pajama shorts combo you chose to wear tonight probably was not doing much to keep you warm with the raging rain thumping down and the strong winds howling just outside of your apartment.
The sudden sounds of gentle knocking at your door cuts through the silence of your empty apartment, the hairs on your back shooting straight up in surprise. The flashlight in your hand falls and clanks onto the ground, the beam of light switching off on impact.
Cautiously, you make your way over to the door, uneasy as your hands hesitate to lay on the knob. Who else could be up at this late hour?
Your eyes squint through the tiny peephole of your door, zoning in on a familiar head of unruly black hair, donned in a worn out old highschool volleyball hoodie, red and white and matching cat motif logo on the front and back to top it all off. With noticeable bags underneath his eyes matching your own, you can tell that whoever it is has been staying up as late as you have these days.
You can't quite see much or well for that matter through the tiny peephole's space, but he patiently waits outside with an uneasy look on his face, hands shoved into the frayed pockets of his sweater and pacing around anxiously across the small space of your apartment’s door mat.
With your heart rate spiking back down to normal levels, you pick up the dropped flashlight and place it onto your dining table hastily before slowly opening the door to him. Startled, he jumps back a little once he actually sees you in front of him, as if he wasn't expecting you to be awake at this time.
You give him a polite smile, tired eyes lifting with all the glee you can muster up for him.
"Hey, Kuroo. Nice night, isn’t it?”
He chuckles a little at that, bringing his hands out of his pockets when he does, force of habit. You notice the pearly whites of his canines poking out from his lips when he grins. It suits him well.
“Yeah, it is. And you know I told you that it's okay to call me Tetsurou.”
"Right, right. My bad.” You jest, and his smile then melts away slightly, molding itself into a more worried expression that soon dawns his handsome face. “You doing alright?” He asks you worriedly, craning his head aside to check the dark of your apartment.
His voice has a low timber to it, quiet to not disturb the neighbours you presume, but you also like to think it’s to soothe your own jittery nerves. “Heard the entire building's power just got wiped by the storm.” He informs. “Was told by the front desk that it won't be back for another few hours.”
Of course it won't be back for awhile, the electricians can't really do much while the thunderstorm rages outside. You doubt anyone in the building who was asleep by now would even notice there had been a power outage tonight, most people aren't awake at the acceptable hours of 3AM working on their overly procrastinated capstone projects anyways to even care about the torrential rain pouring just outside their windows.
“Can I come inside?” Tetsurou asks you without a second thought on his mind before stopping himself, hurriedly backtracking himself and tripping over his own words whilst making funny hand gestures to explain his intentions.
What was that sign he just made? It might've meant Apple in JSL, his skittishness makes you giggle into your fist. “I mean, if it's okay with you. I know it's late and all, and that you probably want to sleep but I—”
You cut him off with a giggle of your own. “Tetsurou,” you interrupt, his cheeks dusting a light shade of pink in the darkness when you do.
Your laughter. It sounds just like bells to him, akin to the raindrops that hit your windows with a light tinkle each time they fall from the clouds above. Wind chimes in the raging storm that falls around you two and lighting crackles behind him, illuminating your bright face for him. And despite your groggy disposition, he can still make out the tired pleasure you have in chatting with him through your features.
“I don't mind, you can come inside. You must be cold standing out here,” You offer with a lighthearted chuckle. “I know I am and l'm just in the doorway.”
You take him by the hand, his skin is cold and dry, just as you expected from the frigid air as you guide him into your barely lit apartment.
He stumbles a bit through the front door “H— hey!”trying to remove his shoes by the entrance and laying them by the door mat, bringing with him two large blankets tucked securely under his arms you hadn't noticed him carrying in the darkness.
Tetsurou's eyes take a moment to adjust to the darkness, squinting and zoning in on the little stack of books piled up at your desk, the flashlight you were using placed just beside an open notebook.
“You're still trying to work on that assignment?” He asks, setting the blankets down on a chair as you slide into your own, clicking the flashlight on and shining it down on your pages.
Most of what’s written down in the beginning of the pages is legible albeit a bit messily rushed, soon devolving into unintelligible scribbles that he realized must’ve happened once the power went down.
“Yeah, it's due soon.”
“There's a storm outside.” He states matter of factly, chin folded into the crook of his hands as he leans on the backside of the chair. You resist the urge to roll your eyes at the obviousness of the situation.
“And?”
“Just, come here.” You feel his hand reach out into the darkness, standing you up from the table with mild disagreement from you as he reels you into his side. “Relax with me a little, let's go sit on your couch together. I brought blankets for a reason.”
“I can use one while working at the dinner table.”
The frown that tugs at Tetsurou's lips is barely noticeable in the absence of any light, but he whines audibly to let you know his stance on that statement as he squeezes his arm around you a bit tighter. “That sounds uncomfortable, though.”
“It's fine.”
“But isn't it better to huddle together for warmth?” He suggests playfully, “Y’know, no power n’ heat.”
You think his compromise over for a moment, and he senses the hesitation brewing inside your mind because he adds onto his previous offer with a convincing. “I promise it'll be good.”
Lighting flashes outside your window for a split second, followed by the loud seismic boom of thunder that takes you out of your thoughts and causes you to flinch in his hold. Instinctively he jumps in sync, pulling you into a hug as your heavy breathing fills the silence of your apartment.
Seconds tick by on the clock hanging on your wall, as it seems like the heartbeats of both you and Tetsurou meld into one beat. Your heart thrums in your chest in an uneven marimba of beats, loud and reverberating with the near silent ringing that’s paired with it in your ear.
Tetsurou hesitates to say anything for a moment, unease wracking him before he speaks. “Are you . . .” He looks out the window, his voice drawling on low and quiet even though the only two people here are you and him, as if he's about to ask something he shouldn't. “Are you scared of thunder?”
". . . No."
He pauses with what you can only imagine to be an unconvinced look on his face. “That sounds like a yes to me.”
“I'm an adult.” You huff, trying to break out of his hold and back to your pile of due papers. “I don't get scared by thunder like a little kid.” Tetsurou barely catches the “anymore” you mutter underneath your breath over the screech of you pulling out your chair again. His hold on you not only tightens but he drags you to the couch, much to your protests and complaints.
“Y’know, you're not a very good liar,” he grins cheerfully, plopping you down beside him before reaching over you to drape a thick blanket over your shivering body. Were you always this cold?
You try to move your hands to lift the blanket off, to stand up— but it's unusually heavy.
It traps your arms underneath it, feeling like a net he prepared and used to condemn you to the couch with it’s plush softness and cozy knit material. But in a surprisingly nice and caring way.
“Is this blanket weighted?” You ask and he agrees with a hum, draping the other one he bought over himself with a relaxed sigh before shifting his body closer to yours. Heat radiates off of him, seeping into the couch and warming your chilly figure.
“Yeah, I got them on sale luckily. I've found they're really good for rainy nights.” You can't deny that now that you've gotten a taste of what it’s like to be underneath one of these usually pricy blankets and to have this as almost like a barrier from the cold rain and air outside, you're already warmer than you were just a few moments ago.
You wrap the heavy woolen blanket tighter around your body, inhaling the scent it carries with it in it’s fibres. The fabric smells like him. “Thanks, Tetsurou.”
Another crackle of lighting blasts inside your living room through the window, peeking through the gap of your curtains as thunder follows closely in suit. It's louder this time, and seemed to be a lot closer to your apartment than the other ones from before.
Your hands slam over the cups of your ears to shield them from the thunderous booms, they feel weighed down by the heavy blanket as you bury your head into the thick material, closing them as like an extra precaution from the storm outside.
You don't even realize you're shaking until you feel a hand smooth over you back. Tetsurou's.
You can barely make out his voice with your hands blocking your hearing, only the worried asks of “Are you okay?” It's muffled and quiet, and his hand rubs soothing circles into your back as you barely manage to move your head to a nod. More thunder comes and Tetsurou's eyebrows knit together as you frantically switch to shaking your head no, feeling it drop further into the blanket in shame. Your heart falling out of your ribcage in sync with it as the storm outside won’t stop taunting your shivering self.
The small raindrops that crash against your window feel like they're right up against your ears, the bright lighting that races across the sky's edge stings your eyes to look at it, even if you shut them as tight as can be. And that god awful thunder, the thunder that makes you feel like your dingy apartment might crumble underneath it's roar, crashing to the floors below as the trees outside cave in on you from above.
“This is so embarrassing . . .” Tetsurou hears you mutter as you lift your head off of your lap to face him, fear written all over your features and you look like you're about to cry in the presence of your next-door neighbour.
Your voice cracks, and you think you'd prefer if the floor underneath you did fall through after all. “I just really hate storms . . .”
A weak chuckle escapes your lips as you wipe away the tears that prick at the corners of your eyes, attempting to lighten up the situation for Tetsurou. You don't want to make him feel uncomfortable by crying in front of him when you were the one who invited him in, so you laugh off the uncomfortable twinge in your chest for his sake.
“I guess I really am like a little kid,” You joke lightly, a whine trailing off the tail end of your sentence. “Look at me, afeaid of thunder and lighting like I'm still four.”
Tetsurou doesn't laugh at your self deprecating jab, and you feel your stomach drop at the suffocating lack of a response.
Would you have preferred if he laughed? No, not really— but it felt awkward to have only silence between the two of you in the heat of the moment. His eyes seem to twinkle in the darkness when he blinks and he wraps an arm around you before pulling you into his chest, you let out an alarmed squeak involuntarily from his actions, and the heartbeat in your chest magnifies to the sound of the thunder that you're so scared of outside.
His own heartbeat is loud too, now that he has you leaning on his chest like this. The wild thumping and beating, is that from you? You feel stupid for getting excited over that possibility, but as you look up from your spot you catch his eyes, tired and still beautiful as both his arms envelope you in a deep hug.
He covers your ears with the palms of his hands, splotches of red blush and heat crawls up the skin of his neck and ears in the darkness, and he leans into the crook of your neck with a ticklish sigh.
“It's okay,” he reassures you quietly, flinching when you snuggle deeper into his chest, the scent of his home shirt being the same as the one on the blanket he brought over but much stronger.
The refreshing smell of clean linen from his laundry detergent sticks to the thin cotton material of his shirt, and you can't stop yourself from blurting out “Did you just do the laundry before coming over?” out of nowhere.
This time it's his turn to laugh nervously. “Yeah . . .” He reveals, his head resting atop yours, taking in the scent of your shampoo. It fills his senses, it's not overpowering or overwhelming at all.
Maybe because it's you.
“I didn't want to smell bad when I came over . . . Is that— is that bad?”
“. . . No,” you decide, a content smile tugging at your lips as you let your head lay on his chest. “It’s not.”
Suddenly the loud sounds of the storm that had you once afraid and cowering in fear seem to become drowned out from Tetsurou's cupped hands over your ears, but you know they're just as strong now than they were earlier— and perhaps even stronger as the night drags on. But in Tetsurou's embrace, underneath the blankets he brought from home that smell just like him, wrapped up in his arms and snuggled up against his chest; you think you'll be okay.
“Please stay with me,” you eke out without thinking, and a part of you hopes he didn't hear because you're worried you'll ruin the tranquility of whatever you have now— reminding you that this moment is only temporary.
That all will be over by tomorrow morning when the technicians come to fix the apartment's power outage at 6AM, and you'll both go back to treating each other as just kindly neighbours like before.
That you'll pretend you never snuggled together when you had no power and no heat, and you never said the words you're about to say to him now.
"Please, don't go . . .”
To your surprise, a soft kiss is pressed to the crown of your forehead as Tetsurou's wild hair tickles at your skin, the erratic beat of his heart thumping wildly in your eardrums. He looks just as nervous as you do, lips suddenly dry and throat closed up when he tries to speak.
After a disgruntled groan, the two of you laugh as once more does lightning flash across the sky, with thunder coming in it's place moments later, hand in hand as always. Just as you expected.
But this time you're not scared, not when he next whispers out the words you've longed to hear since you were a little kid during these storms, not when he cuddles you closer to his chest and brings his lips close to yours before tilting your chin up and capturing you in the sweetest of kisses, his lips perfectly molding to fit yours as he mutters in between the short breaths of air with a smile that rivals the brightness of the lighting you were so scared to gaze into from outside the windows.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he assures you, and you believe him wholeheartedly. “Don't worry.”
Raindrops continue to fall from outside, thunder and lightning work as a terrifying duo in sync as they torment the nature. But it all seems significantly less scary now.
Underneath the onslaught of rain, with the continuous lightning and thunder you've feared since childhood, and the annoying lack of power— you found something able to strike against even the worst of thunderstorms. Something much better to indulge your night in than your assignments that lay long forgotten beside your flashlight on the dining table far away from you and Tetsurou on the couch, warm underneath the blankets together bundled up to escape the cold air.
You found Tetsurou Kuroo.
reblogs ++ comments are greatly appreciated !! ꒰ ˆ ᗜ ˆ ˶ ꒱
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#haikyuu x reader#kuroo x reader#tetsurou x reader#haikyuu fluff#kuroo fluff#tetsurou kuroo#kuroo tetsurou#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu imagines#haikyu!!#haikyū!!#haikyuu x you#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader#haikyuu kuroo#𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓫𝔂 ﹕ 𝓪𝓷 𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵 ৻ꪆ#ハイキュー!! * ( hq!! )
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rambling about songs my brain associates with isat (pt. 1)
[woe, spoilers be upon ye!]
i have a 250+ song isat playlist. I am unhealthily obsessed with finding new songs to put in it. Here's a few that make me go absolutely batshit insane.
I've already rambled about this one on my art account a while back, but this song is so insanely loop-coded....
I'm standing on a stage Of fear and self-doubt It's a hollow play, But they'll clap anyway
You could give me any song that has some kind of reference to plays or theatre and I could probably find a way to make it about isat. but specifically this makes me think about twohats and how loop views their place in the world as a performance, a pawn, not even a character but a plot device... yeah
I'm living in an age That calls darkness light Though my language is dead Still the shapes fill my head I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving, Still my heart beats so slow
I probably don't have to break this one down for you, but yeah, Island North of Vaugarde, the forgotten language... "still the shapes fill my head" has always in my mind referenced the stars and constellations, and how they're familiar but foreign...
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thanks to @/ricecaqes and their trust ceremony animatic, this song lives in my head rent free. Even just as a whole this song is SO isat for me. literally from the first fucking lines:
Will I know when I’ve gone too far? Or frozen myself in time? An impossible brain with impossible wants Lost and astray, with impossible thoughts
like. it really can't get much more nail on the head than that?
then you got this:
So cold, I’m freezing Every piece of praise and sign that I’m believed in Solid in a crystal ball It bends the waves of the light to mend the rest of my life
and literally the first time I heard this song i paused it and said, out loud, "OH FUCK." Because. it's act 5 siffrin. Like, the slow descent into despair followed by the determination that the only way to perserve the life and the family they love is to keep them with him, to do the exact same thing the king did...
Do you also see your future starting with the farthest part? Live your life to close the space between the end and start And when it’s hard, do you hang onto any chance That you might be in control? That you’re the one who owns
For one, once you reach the end of act 2, you're constantly aware of the head housemaiden being as far as you can go, and then you're planning around it the entire time.
And then, you have. siffrin grasping for any kind of control they can have over the situation, desperately. and failing repeatedly because they simultaneously think that they are undeserving of getting what they ultimately want... yeah...
i won't go into the rest of the lyrics because honestly it's pretty well covered by the animatic but. yeah trust ceremony my sweet beloved.
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rest in peace siffrin no middle no last name, you would have loved the mountain goats.
yeah uh. this one is also pretty high up on songs that make me go "damn that's siffrin alright".
I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam And no one in her right mind would make my home her home My heart's an autoclave
i think for me it's the idea of siffrin feeling like they're nothing, and even if they are something or someone, they are bad, worse than bad, worthless. also referencing homesickness.... yeah...
When I try to open up to you I get completely lost Houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost And I reach deep down within, but the pathways twist and turn And there's no light anywhere, and nothing left to burn
I mean, this one is also pretty self-evident. siffrin losing hope while being stuck in the house... wanting to connect with the party but being completely uncapable of doing so out of the sheer terror of being left behind... act 5, with the house literally warping...
I dreamt that I was perched atop a throne of human skulls On a cliff above the ocean, howling wind and shrieking seagulls And the dream went on forever, one single static frame Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name
siffrin feels responsible for the loops, every aspect of them. their deaths, their party-member's deaths, their failures, everything. and in the end, all they really wanted was for someone to truly see them? to have a family, to not be left behind and forgotten by the world.... the importance of names and siffrin's name in particular in the story also makes this hit home for me.
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for brevity's sake i'll just start with these three- if people are interested in hearing me justify my insane music choices i'll probably do more.... for now, see ya!
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#rambling#brain dump#playlist#i love music#im so normal about it!#<- makes playlists for every conceivable circumstance#Spotify
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What You Want
Casey sipped her coffee, her shoulders slouched as she stared into her cup. “I just don’t know, Amy. I didn’t mean to quit again, but… well, it just didn’t feel right, you know?”
Amy raised an eyebrow, her fingers tapping against her own mug. “You say that every time, Case. Retail didn’t feel right, the admin job ‘wasn’t a fit,’ the freelancing felt ‘off.’ And now what? The café gig wasn’t cutting it either?”
Casey’s face reddened as she gave a slight shrug, her gaze fixed downward. “It’s not like I don’t want to work or anything. It’s just that—ugh, I don’t know.” She let out a long sigh, trying to put words to the feeling that seemed to haunt her everywhere she went. “I get there, I try to stay motivated, but something’s missing. I end up feeling like I’m just… floating, like there’s no point to any of it.”
Amy leaned back, her face softening as she regarded Casey with an expression somewhere between pity and understanding. “So, what are you waiting for? You need direction, right? A push?”
Casey felt an uncomfortable twist in her stomach as she nodded half-heartedly. It felt embarrassing, admitting to feeling so lost at her age, especially to Amy, who had everything in her life so perfectly together. “I guess? I don’t know if I need a push, exactly. It’s more like I need to figure out what I even want to be pushed toward.”
Amy smiled, leaning forward with a gleam in her eye. “Then maybe it’s time you tried something different.”
Casey’s face twisted with a skeptical look as she shot Amy a wary glance. “Oh no. I know that look. You’re about to pitch me some wild idea.”
“Well, wild or not, it worked for me, didn’t it?” Amy shot back, her voice firm. “Do you see me vaping anymore?”
Casey rolled her eyes, a faint smirk tugging at her lips. “I still can’t believe you actually did that. Hypnosis? Isn’t that just… mind tricks and creepy suggestions?”
Amy crossed her arms, her expression unrelenting. “Come on, Casey. It’s not like the movies. I mean, yes, you let someone guide your mind, but it’s all about relaxation and suggestion. It’s not like they make you cluck like a chicken. The hypnotherapist I used just helped me focus, made me want to quit. I’m serious; it worked like magic.”
Casey’s interest was piqued, despite herself, but she shrugged it off, unwilling to let herself be swept up in yet another thing that wouldn’t work out. “So, what, they put you in a trance, and you woke up a non-vaper?”
Amy laughed. “Not quite. It’s more like they give your mind a nudge. They plant a suggestion, and it just… sticks. If you give it a try, I’m willing to bet they could help you find some clarity. Maybe even a little confidence boost.”
Casey scrunched her nose, stirring her coffee absently, feeling her initial resistance starting to crack. “I don’t know. It sounds weird, like I’m handing over my brain to someone else.”
“You’re not handing it over; you’re steering it,” Amy countered, her tone insistent. “You’re telling it, ‘Hey, brain, we’re done wandering aimlessly.’ You just need a bit of direction. And seriously, what’s the worst that could happen?”
Casey looked away, chewing her lip as she mulled over Amy’s words. There was a part of her that was almost desperate enough to give in, but fear and embarrassment held her back. She hated that it was always Amy pushing her, while she herself seemed forever stuck on the sidelines, never really going anywhere.
With a heavy sigh, Casey finally met Amy’s gaze. “Fine, I’ll think about it.”
Amy’s face lit up, and she pulled out her phone. “Think about it on the way to your appointment! I’ll book it right now, and trust me—you’re going to feel like a whole new person.”
“Wait—Amy! I didn’t mean right now!” Casey protested, but it was too late.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Casey sat on the soft, oversized couch in the hypnotherapist’s office, her fingers fidgeting in her lap as she took in her surroundings. The walls were a soothing shade of blue, and calming, ambient music played softly in the background. She glanced at the man sitting across from her—a middle-aged therapist with a warm, reassuring smile and an air of quiet confidence.
“So, Casey,” he began, his voice gentle yet direct, “why don’t you tell me what’s brought you here today?”
Casey hesitated, feeling a bit self-conscious. “Um… well, to be honest, I’m not sure if this is going to work. I mean, I don’t even know what my problem is exactly. I just… I can’t seem to stick to anything.” She sighed, looking down at her hands. “I’ve tried different jobs, different hobbies, but nothing ever feels right. I’m just… floating, I guess.”
The therapist nodded, his gaze steady and nonjudgmental. “So, you’re feeling a lack of direction? A sense that you don’t know where you’re headed or what would give you a real sense of purpose?”
“Exactly,” Casey replied, relieved that he seemed to understand. “It’s not that I’m lazy or that I don’t care. I do… I just… I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing.”
“And that’s left you feeling, what? Restless? Unsatisfied?”
She nodded slowly. “Yeah, I think that’s it. I want to be… someone, I guess. I want to feel like I know who I am, what I want.”
The therapist’s smile deepened slightly. “I can help you with that, Casey. Through hypnosis, we can start working with your mind to find and reinforce that sense of purpose and self. I’d like to try a session with you today to plant a suggestion that could help you start taking those first steps.”
Casey shifted a little on the couch, nervousness flickering across her face. “I mean, if you think it’ll help. I’m… willing to try.”
“Good,” he replied, his voice reassuring. “All I need you to do is relax, let go, and trust the process. Hypnosis is nothing more than a deeply relaxed state where your mind is open to positive suggestions. I’ll guide you through it, and we’ll start by focusing on that desire you have—to find out what you want and to go after it.”
Casey took a deep breath, nodding. “Alright. Let’s do it.”
The therapist’s tone softened even further, lulling and steady. “Excellent, Casey. Now, just make yourself comfortable, close your eyes… and let yourself sink into that relaxation, letting all the tension fall away…”
Casey’s eyes fluttered closed as she leaned back into the cushions, his words drawing her deeper into a state of calm. The last thing she remembered was his soothing voice leading her down, down into the peaceful quiet, her thoughts melting away into softness as he gently guided her mind….
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Casey blinked in the bright afternoon light as she walked out to meet Amy, still feeling a bit fuzzy from the session. Amy was already on her feet, her expression eager.
“So?” Amy asked, practically bouncing. “How’d it go? Did he put you under? Say anything weird?”
Casey chuckled, running a hand through her hair as she tried to piece her thoughts together. “I… think so?” she said, frowning slightly. “I remember us talking about why I’m so indecisive, and he was really calm, just asking me questions. Then he started telling me to relax, and…” She trailed off, her brow furrowing as she searched her memory. “Honestly, it’s kind of a blank. I know I felt relaxed, but I don’t remember much after that.”
Amy grinned. “Sounds about right. Hypnosis doesn’t always feel like some big, earth-shattering thing right away. But it’ll get in there, work in the background. So maybe next time you’re struggling to make a choice, you’ll just… know what you want.”
Casey snorted. “Yeah, maybe. Though that would be a pretty huge change for me.”
They started strolling down the street, passing a row of little cafés and restaurants. Amy stopped in front of their usual spot, a casual Thai place they both liked. “What do you think? Thai?”
Casey looked at the place, hesitating, a dozen little thoughts flitting through her mind as they always did. It was a comfortable choice, and she wasn’t in the mood to argue or analyze anything. But then, faint and unassuming, a small thought surfaced: You know what you want…
“I mean… I could go for Thai, or maybe…” She found herself glancing across the street at a little Italian bistro they’d mentioned trying a while back. “What about that Italian place? We’ve been saying we should try it.”
Amy gave her a surprised look but shrugged. “Sure, I’m up for it if you are.”
They crossed the street, Casey feeling a bit surprised at herself. That was easier than I thought, she mused. Maybe she’d even try to make a few more decisions for herself to see if it could stick.
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Casey opened the door to her apartment and found Liam lounging on the couch, scrolling through his phone. He looked up and gave her a warm smile as she walked in.
“Hey, you,” he greeted, sitting up. “How was your day?”
She dropped her bag onto a nearby chair, shrugging. “Not bad. Amy kind of roped me into something… unusual.”
Liam raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“Yeah, she talked me into going to a hypnotherapist.” Casey laughed, her cheeks flushing a little. “I know, it sounds ridiculous. I didn’t think it would do anything, but…” She paused, glancing away. “It was… interesting.”
Liam’s smile faded a bit, his brow knitting. “Hypnosis? That’s… not something I’d expect from you.”
“Right?” she said, dropping onto the couch next to him. “But Amy swears by it. She thought it might help me feel more… I don’t know, more sure of myself.”
“So did it work?” he asked, searching her face.
Casey shrugged. “I’m not sure. It was all kind of foggy. But I don’t feel any different.”
Liam nodded toward his phone. “Well, I decided to take the guesswork out of dinner for you. I ordered from that Chinese place you like. Should be here soon.”
Normally, Casey would have shrugged and let him make the call; it saved her from agonizing over small decisions. But this time, as the words settled over her, something rose up inside, that faint but clear whisper: You know what you want; you deserve what you want.
She paused, her thoughts surprising even herself. “Actually… I was thinking pizza.”
Liam glanced at her, his expression mildly surprised. “Pizza?”
“Yeah,” she said, feeling a strange firmness in her voice. “There’s that new place on Eighth, the one with the pepperoni rolls I keep hearing about. We should try that.”
“Oh.” He seemed caught off guard but didn’t push back. “Well… maybe next time? I’ve already placed the order.”
The thought flared again, insistent and unwavering. You know what you want.
“Can’t you cancel it?” Casey asked, keeping her tone light but firm. “I really want to try the pizza.”
He blinked, his eyes lingering on her a moment before he nodded slowly. “Yeah, I can call them back. Sure.” He picked up his phone, casting her an uncertain look as he started dialing.
A few minutes later, the order was changed, and the pizza was on its way. They sat together on the couch, Casey feeling a slight, unexpected satisfaction. Liam, on the other hand, seemed to be watching her a little differently, as if trying to piece something together.
“What do you want to watch later?” he asked, leaning back and scrolling through movie options. “I was thinking we could start that new thriller you mentioned last week.”
Usually, Casey would have just gone with whatever he’d chosen, trusting he’d pick something decent. But the same, steady thought surfaced in her mind again: You deserve what you want. And she didn’t want a thriller.
“How about a comedy instead?” she said, keeping her tone casual. “I’m in the mood for something light.”
Liam paused, his thumb hovering over the screen as he glanced at her. “Comedy?” His surprise was barely hidden, though he forced a small smile. “Sure. That’s fine with me.”
They settled on a rom-com, but Casey couldn’t help noticing the way he seemed to study her between scenes, a little more quiet than usual. He was clearly surprised, maybe even a bit thrown off. But, for the first time, Casey didn’t feel like shrinking back or apologizing for pushing a little. Instead, she just felt…certain.
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Casey stepped through the apartment door, her heels clicking on the floor as she set her bag down. She pulled off her blazer revealing a deep cut top, glancing at herself in the hallway mirror and feeling a little thrill. She looked… professional…different.
Liam looked up from the couch, his eyes widening as he took her in. “Wow,” he said, standing up. “You look… incredible. Where were you all day?”
A smile broke across her face as she walked over, hanging her blazer on the back of a chair. “I was at a law firm,” she said, smoothing down her crisp dress shirt. “I had an interview.”
“Wait, a law firm? An interview?” Liam blinked, looking as if he hadn’t quite heard her right. “What law firm? What for?”
“For an internship,” she said, still smiling. She felt a swell of excitement as she said the words. “This morning, it just… hit me, out of nowhere. I knew what I wanted to do. I want to be a lawyer.”
Liam’s eyebrows shot up. “Just… just like that?”
She nodded, her excitement building as she recounted the day. “Yes. I got up, got dressed, and went straight to the law offices downtown. I walked right in and asked if they had any internships available. I mean, I didn’t take no for an answer.”
Liam stared at her, clearly struggling to keep up. “And they just… hired you?”
Casey grinned, a little proud. “They did. A paid internship while I get my degree. The hiring manager even said she liked my… confidence.” She took a breath, as if reliving the thrill of that moment. “I just felt like I knew it was the right thing. So I went for it.”
Liam was quiet for a long moment, his expression shifting from surprise to something she couldn’t quite read. “So… you’re suddenly going to law school?” he asked, his voice tentative.
Casey shrugged, still feeling that steady certainty. “Yes. I mean, why not? I can handle it.”
He nodded slowly, his face still a mix of confusion and something else, something almost like apprehension. “It’s… a lot to take in. You’ve never talked about wanting to do that before.”
“Well, now I know it’s what I want.” She smiled, giving his hand a quick squeeze. “I’ve never felt this clear before, Liam. Isn’t it exciting?”
Liam returned her smile, though there was a hint of hesitation behind it. “It’s… definitely something.”
Without breaking her gaze, she stepped closer, pressing her body against his, her hand trailing up to his chest.
“I’ve missed you today,” she murmured, her voice low. “And right now… I want you.”
He shifted uncomfortably, glancing away, his face tense. “Case, I don’t know… I’m not really in the mood right now.”
The words hit her like ice water, and she blinked, her hand pausing on his chest. Not in the mood? A twist of embarrassment mingled with surprise, leaving her momentarily speechless. They’d never been here before; Liam was always so open to her. Why would he say no?
But the embarrassment quickly melted, replaced by a simmering frustration. You know what you want; you deserve what you want. The familiar thought pushed back against the rejection, and she straightened, that tight, unyielding certainty hardening her resolve.
“Come on,” she urged, her voice growing firmer as she leaned in, brushing her lips along his jaw. “I want you, Liam. And I know you want me, too.”
Liam took a small step back, giving her a look that was half apology, half something she couldn’t quite place. “Casey… not tonight, alright? I’m just… not feeling it.”
For a moment, the refusal didn’t compute. She felt her jaw clench, her frustration rising even as a part of her tried to understand. Why would he turn me down?
Her voice was barely more than a whisper. “I don’t get why you’re brushing me off.” She straightened, crossing her arms, her tone sharpening. “I want you, Liam. And you… you should want this, too.”
He ran a hand through his hair, his face tense. “I do… usually. It’s just… tonight’s been a lot, you know?” He gestured vaguely at her, as if she were somehow part of the problem. “You’ve changed so much in the last couple of days, and I’m trying to keep up. I just… I need a bit of time to adjust. That’s all.”
“Adjust?” She scoffed, her voice hardening. “What’s there to adjust to? So I know what I want now. Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Of course it is, but…” He trailed off, frustration clear in his face. “But maybe I need a little space to wrap my head around all of it. You’re coming on so strong, and… I don’t know, Casey, it’s just… a lot.”
She took a step back, the sting of his words settling into her, unfamiliar and uncomfortable. She wanted him, she was clear about it—why should he hesitate? She felt herself bristle at the rejection, her jaw tightening as she held back a retort.
“Fine,” she said finally, her voice icy. “If you’re not interested, then forget it.”
He looked down, his shoulders slumping a bit. “It’s not that I don’t want you, Case. It’s just… tonight, I need a little room. That’s all.”
But she was already heading toward the bedroom without another word, her frustration simmering hotly as she left him standing alone, looking after her in confusion and regret.
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An hour later, Casey emerged from the bedroom, her heart still pounding with frustration. She had slipped into a figure-hugging dress, the kind she rarely wore around Liam, reserving it for occasions she wanted to feel bold, confident, sexy. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders, and she’d touched up her makeup—darkened her lashes, painted her lips a rich, seductive red. She didn’t just look good. She looked powerful.
Liam, sitting at the kitchen table, glanced up from his phone, his eyes widening as he took her in. “Casey…” he began, his voice uncertain, a wary look in his eyes. “Going somewhere?”
“Maybe,” she replied, her voice smooth as silk. She took her time, crossing the room with purpose, letting him watch her, knowing exactly the effect she had on him. She could see his gaze waver, drifting over her, yet the hesitation lingered on his face.
“I thought we could pick up where we left off,” she said, her tone a mixture of suggestion and challenge. “Or… I can head out.”
Liam looked away, a flicker of discomfort crossing his face. “Casey, look, I… I told you. Tonight isn’t a good night for me. I just need a little time.”
Casey felt a surge of irritation rise again. You deserve what you want. The words repeated in her mind, steady and relentless, sparking something bold, almost reckless. She took a step closer, her gaze never leaving his.
“I don’t think you get it, Liam,” she said, her voice low, her tone tight. “I want you. And I don’t want to wait, I don’t want to be patient. I shouldn’t have to.”
He swallowed, looking up at her, clearly taken aback by her intensity. “Case, I… I get that. And I want you too. Just… not right this second. Can’t we talk about this?”
“What’s there to talk about?” she replied, arching an eyebrow, challenging him to answer.
He hesitated, struggling for words. “This just… isn’t like you. You’ve always been easygoing, we never fight over stuff like this. I don’t know why this is suddenly so…” He shook his head, clearly at a loss. “I feel like I’m talking to a different person.”
She studied him, feeling the words echo in her mind, pushing her forward, unwilling to back down. She didn’t respond, but her silence said enough. If he wasn’t going to give her what she wanted, then she’d get it elsewhere.
After a pause, she flashed a cold, daring smile. “Fine. If you don’t want this, I’ll find someone who does.”
She saw the shock flash across his face, but she didn’t wait for a response. She picked up her bag, slipped on her heels, and walked out the door without a backward glance.
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Later that night, Casey found herself in a dim, crowded club. She moved through the crowd, cutting through the room with focused intent. She wasn’t here to waste time. She was here because she wanted something, and tonight she’d have it.
A man stepped into her path, flashing her a grin, his eyes drifting down to her dress. “Hey there,” he said, leaning in close. “You look like you could use a drink.”
She arched an eyebrow, sizing him up with a look that was more appraisal than interest. Attractive enough, sure, but the easy grin and lazy charm grated on her nerves. She could feel the words whispering through her mind, familiar and undeniable: You know what you want; you deserve what you want.
“If I wanted one,” she replied, her voice cold and dismissive, “I’d have gotten it myself.”
The man’s smile faltered, a flash of confusion crossing his face. He let out a nervous chuckle, still hovering too close for her comfort. “Just trying to be friendly.”
She didn’t bother hiding her irritation, her eyes narrowing as she met his gaze, unflinching. “I don’t need you to try.”
Without waiting for a response, she brushed past him, her attention already shifting away, a thrill rising in her chest. She was done humoring anyone who couldn’t give her exactly what she wanted. As she let herself melt into the beat of the music, her eyes caught sight of another man watching her with clear intent.
Her lips curled into a small, satisfied smile. Now this was more like it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Minutes later, Casey found herself pressed against the cool tile wall in the dimly lit bathroom of a club, her fingers tangled in the hair of a man she’d only met minutes before.
Casey gasped as his hands tightened on her hips, pulling her even closer, her laughter turning into a low, sultry moan. “God, yes,” she breathed, her voice echoing off the tiled walls, “Just like that…”
The man grinned against her neck, and she could feel his breath, hot and ragged. “You like that?” he murmured, his tone a mix of confidence and awe, like he could hardly believe the enthusiasm she was giving him.
“Oh, you have no idea,” she replied, her lips curling into a smirk as her fingers slid over his shoulders. “I want this. I deserve this.”
She let out a soft, reckless laugh, her voice huskier than she’d ever heard it. “Don’t stop,” she commanded, her words sharp with hunger. “I’ve been waiting for this all night.”
As he obliged, she felt herself tip her head back, the orgasm ripping through her. “Yes, yes! That’s exactly what I needed,” she whispered, her voice brimming with satisfaction.
She was finally getting what she deserved, and she loved every second of it.
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It was nearly three in the morning when Casey finally slipped her key into the lock and entered the apartment. She shut the door quietly, already kicking off her heels, when she looked up and froze. Liam was sitting on the couch, his face pale and exhausted, his eyes bloodshot as he looked up at her.
“Casey,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “Where have you been?”
She rolled her eyes, pulling her bag off her shoulder and setting it on the table. “Out.”
He rose to his feet, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Out? You’ve been gone for hours. You didn’t answer your phone, you just… left. Do you have any idea what that’s been like?”
She shrugged, heading into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. “I didn’t think you’d be waiting up. You made it pretty clear earlier you didn’t want anything to do with me tonight.”
Liam followed her, his voice shaking with a mix of anger and worry. “I told you I needed some space, not for you to disappear to…” He broke off, his gaze dropping to her, his face clouding with something deeper as he took in her disheveled appearance, her smeared lipstick, her flushed cheeks. “What… did you do tonight, Casey?”
She held his gaze, unflinching. “I wanted you, Liam,” she said, her tone unapologetic. “I made that pretty clear. You refused, so I found someone else who didn’t.”
The words hung in the air, cold and cutting, and she didn’t look away, letting him absorb them.
Liam’s face crumpled as the realization hit, his expression one of raw hurt. “You… you’re serious?”
She took a sip of water, unbothered by the tremor in his voice. “Look, I’m not going to pretend otherwise. I wanted something, and I got it. I don’t see why we have to make this a big deal.”
“A big deal?” His voice cracked, and he took a step back, running a hand over his face. “Casey, do you even hear yourself? You just… you went and slept with someone else, just like that, and now you act like it’s nothing?”
She sighed, her patience thinning. “Liam, you weren’t interested. I was. Why should I go without because you decided not to give me what I wanted?”
He stared at her, his face a mixture of anger, disbelief, and pain. “Because… we’re supposed to be together, Casey. We’re supposed to care about each other, to—”
“We do,” she interrupted, her voice flat. “But that doesn’t mean I should go without the things I want. I deserve to get what I want, Liam. I’m done feeling guilty about that.”
The weight of her words seemed to crush him. His shoulders sagged, and he let out a shaky breath, his eyes rimmed with tears. “I… I don’t know who you are anymore.”
She watched him, unfazed. “That’s not my problem.”
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The next afternoon, Casey met Amy at their usual café. She strolled in, confident and calm, scanning the room until she spotted Amy at a corner table. But as she walked over, she could immediately tell something was off.
Amy looked up, her face tense, her lips pressed into a tight line. As soon as Casey sat down, Amy crossed her arms, fixing her with a hard stare.
“Casey,” Amy began, her voice low and serious. “What happened last night with Liam?”
Casey rolled her eyes, sighing. “Oh, I see he ran to you already. Guess he needed someone to cry to.”
Amy’s eyes flashed with hurt and anger. “Casey, don’t be like that. He was heartbroken when he called me. He told me what you did… what you said to him when you got home. I could barely believe it.”
“Well, it’s the truth,” Casey replied, shrugging, unfazed by Amy’s reaction. “I wanted something, he didn’t want to give it to me, so I found someone who would. I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“The big deal?” Amy’s voice rose slightly, but she forced herself to stay calm. “Casey, you cheated on him. And you acted like it was nothing. That isn’t you. What happened to you?”
Casey scoffed, leaning back, folding her arms. “Maybe I’ve just decided to stop living for what others want, Amy. I deserve to get what I want. I’m not going to sit around waiting for Liam, or anyone else, to catch up with me.”
Amy shook her head slowly, her expression pained. “Casey… do you even remember who you used to be? The friend I knew would never have done this. Do you remember how you stayed up with me all night when I broke up with David? You went out of your way to make sure I felt okay, even though you had to work the next morning.”
Casey shrugged, waving her hand dismissively. “That was different.”
“Different?” Amy’s voice cracked, her eyes searching Casey’s for a trace of the friend she used to know. “Or how about last year, when Liam lost his job, and you helped him look for new ones? You were there for him through everything. You were kind, Casey. You actually cared about people.”
Casey’s mouth tightened as she felt a flicker of irritation rise, her jaw clenching. She didn’t want to hear this, didn’t want to remember it. You know what you want; you deserve what you want.
“People change, Amy,” she replied coldly. “Maybe I’ve just stopped letting everyone else’s problems weigh me down. I��ve moved on, and maybe you should too.”
Amy’s eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and disbelief. “You used to be the most caring person I knew. But now, you’re acting like everyone else should just fall in line because you’ve decided you’re entitled to anything you want.”
Casey’s face hardened. “I don’t need you or Liam lecturing me,” she snapped, her voice icy. “I’m finally going after what makes me feel good, and if that’s too much for you, maybe you should take a look at your own life.”
Amy’s face paled, her eyes wide with shock. “You know what? Fine,” she said, standing up, her chair scraping loudly against the floor. “But don’t come running to me when you realize you’ve pushed everyone who cares about you away.”
Casey met her gaze with a dismissive shrug. “If they can’t handle it, maybe I don’t need them anyway.”
Amy stood there for a moment, hurt and disbelief written across her face, before shaking her head and walking away.
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It was a few months later when Casey spotted Amy walking out of a bookstore. Casey’s heels clicked on the pavement as she approached, a slight smile playing on her lips as she adjusted the strap of her designer handbag. By her side was a man several years older, handsome and impeccably dressed in a tailored suit. He paused as Casey turned toward Amy, observing the interaction with quiet interest.
Amy looked up, her eyes widening as she recognized Casey. “Casey?” She hesitated, glancing at the man at her side before looking back at Casey. “I… I didn’t expect to see you.”
“Hello, Amy,” Casey replied, her tone calm. She glanced at her companion and gave a faint nod, and he offered a polite smile before stepping away to give them some privacy.
Amy took in Casey’s appearance, the designer clothes and effortless confidence, and forced a small, bittersweet smile. “It’s been a while,” she said, folding her arms. “You seem… well.”
“I am,” Casey replied, her eyes fixed on Amy, unwavering. “And I’m glad I ran into you, actually.” She tilted her head, her expression softening slightly. “I’ve decided I want you back in my life, Amy. I want my best friend back.”
Amy let out a soft, humorless laugh, shaking her head. “Casey… I don’t know what you expect, but I don’t think that’s possible. You’re not the person I used to know. You’re not even the kind of friend I can relate to anymore.”
Casey’s smile didn’t falter. In fact, it seemed to widen, a knowing glint in her eyes. “I know,” she said quietly, her voice edged with something unreadable.
Amy frowned, glancing down for a moment, but when she looked back up, Casey was studying her intently. “What—?” Amy started to ask, but then Casey murmured a phrase, a string of words that sounded strange and familiar all at once. Immediately, Amy’s vision blurred, and a sudden wave of dizziness washed over her.
Her hands reached out instinctively, one steadying herself on the brick wall beside her, the other gripping her temple. “Casey… what’s… happening?”
Casey took a step closer, her voice calm, almost soothing. “You see, Amy, after our last talk, I realized I deserved more than just a former friend. I deserved loyalty. I deserved my best friend back, and it turns out,” she smirked, “the hypnotherapist who helped you quit vaping was… very willing to help me, too. Just took a few compromising photos, and he was all too happy to follow my instructions.”
Amy’s dizziness intensified, her eyes unfocused as she struggled to process Casey’s words. She blinked, everything feeling hazy, as Casey’s voice continued.
“So, a few subtle sessions was all it took,” Casey said, her tone like silk. “One follow-up for vaping, another to help ‘reinforce’ your confidence, and I had him plant the right trigger. You see, Amy, I do know what I want, and I deserve what I want. I wanted you to be my best friend… forever.”
The dizziness began to ebb, and Amy slowly straightened, her movements controlled and precise. Her eyes focused, the uncertainty vanishing, replaced by a cold, devoted expression. She looked at Casey, her face suddenly serene, any trace of sadness or resistance erased. She flashed a smile devoid of warmth but filled with complete, unwavering loyalty.
“Casey,” Amy said softly, her voice calm and steady. “Of course. I’ll always be here for you.”
Casey’s own smile widened, satisfied. She took Amy’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I knew you would. After all, best friends are loyal. Isn’t that right?”
Amy nodded, her gaze locked on Casey’s, an unbreakable bond reflected in her eyes. “For now and always,” she replied, her voice a whisper.
Casey released her hand, and turned to welcome the man waiting for her. As he approached, Casey’s ruthless smile lingered, knowing she finally had everything she wanted.
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Alrighty folks I finished the game. I will put non-spoiler thoughts here and then put my spoiler thoughts under the cut. Again, these are MY OPINIONS. I am happy to hear your thoughts but I'm not arguing with you because you won't change my mind.
* holy shit this is a big game
* Mournwatch is the best faction in my opinion. Idk they're just cool and not problematic lol
* there is some retconning of established facts, but I take it this way: it's been a long time since the original trilogy's events. Origins was canonically sometime almost 20 years before Veilguard - think of life 20 years ago, it was very different. A lot can change and gods coming back changes a lot. Factions grow and change and become something different. Also this is NORTHERN Thedas, an area we've never played in. With few exceptions we've always had companions from the south and learned information about the north second hand. I think that's important to keep in mind when people complain about things not staying the same or 'lore accurate.'
* I still recommend picking the same faction as your projected romantic interest
* The cameos are ... Fine. Again, it's been a long time in game. Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? 20 years? I think Morrigan is the most disappointing but my headcanon is that motherhood has really suited her, also a decision she made off screen that is explained to you during the course of the game also made her personality make a little more sense
* I think I liked this game because I went in with an open mind. I have always loved Bioware games for the writing and the companions and this game has those in spades. I loved how fleshed out the characters were though it doesn't approach the levels that say, Baldur's Gate 3 reaches. But overall it was an enjoyable experience, around 65 hours for me to finish just about everything. Though maybe shave off about 5 hours for the character creator, which was great.
Okay so now for the spoilers. DO NOT OPEN IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS!!
* I maxed out all of my companions and factions and nearly 100% every area. There was no quest undone. I think that's why I got a good ending, namely Solas agreeing to bind himself to the Veil, sharing a big kiss with Lavellan, and walking into the Fade together. I did lose one member, Harding, and that fucking sucked. I haven't looked into spoilers so I don't know if switching her and Davrin would have made a difference cause Davrin is a Warden and would have fared better against the blight idk. I'll have to look into it. Overall I was happy though.
* I ... Should have seen the Varric twist but I wasn't looking for it so it just passed over me. I was devastated, but I think that it was well done and well earned. Still sad though. That was the second time I cried during the finale, after Harding.
* This felt like a Bioware game to me. It felt big, it felt complex, and the humor was always there. The QoL improvements and expansion of classes and abilities made this so much fun.
* I felt the romances were lacking a bit in content, though Emmrich had suuuuch a sweet and gentle romance. I loved it so much. They banged in a graveyard in what I assume is a coffin. A+ love him, love Manfred. I just wish I had kiss options a la BG3. I got spoiled. 😅
* I'll play this again. And again. That's how my brain works. I think they need to patch a sort of 'golden nug' option into the game and a new game plus to make things better. If there are DLC, I'll happily play them.
#dragon age#dragon age veilgaurd spoilers#dragon age veilguard#my thoughts and opinions#datv#datv spoilers
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Monkey Queens (and Fem D.O) and a Deadpool reader.
🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
(Lmk Wukong) She thought she was an agent of Chaotic Neutrality but this, this isn't fair. Also your brand of chaos actually scares her and that doesn't happen very often, she can never tell what you're gonna do next but at least you make it fun. The dates you both have together are never boring, and you always put your own twist in the new fun activity. She grew to adore you and your own brand of chaos and wouldn't change you for the world.
(MKR Wukong) Your relationship is gonna look a lot like the recent (Deadpool and Wolverine movie). You drive her to insanity every second of every day. Although she would rather deal with pigsy's flirting, then your Shameless cat calls and s*x jokes. Yes, it is that bad... not to mention that no matter how much she rips you into pieces, you either make an incredibly inappropriate joke or make make noises of well...let's just say you adore her in this state she's in. Although this does end up being useful, when she having angry tantrums and once she knows that you have a love of Violence as well. Oh how happy you both will be.
(NR Wukong) OHHHHHHHHHHHH SH*T THE AMOUNT OF S*X JOKES AND INNUENDOES YOU BOTH WOULD SAY, ARE GONNA MAKE EVERYBODY WANT TO EITHER BLUSH, HURL, OR COVER THEIR EARS IN HORROR!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣 you guys are a terrible influence on each other but your relationship also kinda makes sense. You both are constantly making jokes and acting like clowns the entire fight, no match how dire the situation is. You also know when to get serious together and get the job done quite alot, and with the money you make you love to spoil her with jewelry and dress. In other words you both are perfect for each other, and are gonna make it everybody's problem.
(HIB Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhh god, and she thought pigsy was awful to deal with when he flirts. Boi, you has Shamelessly cat called and flirted with her whenever she was alone, our came around you area. Wukong would lose her patience with you a lot but like everyone else in her life, you grew on her because you refuse to leave her alone. You also get along very well with her kids becoming the fun father figure and playing games and doing tricks. Wukong for once smiled at you. As you never seem to let anything get you down, and always offer support.
(Netflix Wukong)(Does anyone remember Bliz and Stolis's phonecall???🤭🤭🤭) Well that was the equivalent of the first meeting with you and Wukong. She was cool with you and bragged about her achievements and beauty and when you got interested in her, and you just haaaaaaadddddd to open you mouth🙄🙄🙄. You opened to flirt with her and said who lot of rancy, depraved, and blunt with a smile and blush on your face. At the end Wukong had a huge Blush on her face with a light look of horror on her face. Despite her getting interested in you and had accidentally been turned on by your brazen offer and Unfiltered thoughts. She now wondered if she being mildly harassed😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳.
(BMW Wukong) She can never reach your level of unpredictability never in a million centuries. She would be quite jealous considering she never knows what you're gonna do, nor will she never know what you're talking about. Have the time. Though once you both get in sync with each other and find that you both have alot more in common then you think well, heaven is gonna look a lot like hell for now on once you both work together. Their's also gonna be Instances where she's Frenching decapitated head.
(Destined one) You would have her blushing constantly, and so harshly, it's coming out of her fur. Your Chaotic personality is one thing to deal with considering the situations she'll find herself in,but........................... it's your thoughts and mouth that Always kill her!!!!!!!!!Your pick-up lines, constant flirting, and naughty hand gestures are what shock her to her core and cause her to freeze and blush harshly. You can't possibly mean that, right? But then she finds out that's how you're telling her that your interest in her and want her as a mate. The Destined one would not survive you and your Chaotic motor mouth, and something tell her, that's probably not the worst thing you'll ever say
FEEL FREE TO REBLOG
#monkey king netflix#monkey king reborn#monkey king x reader#nezha reborn#lmk monkey king#monkey king hero is back#x female y/n#black myth wukong#the destined one x reader#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool movie#wade wilson
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Continue yours and Myrtle's discussion about Armin being a Twilight fan, what if it's a plot twist, and it's ARMIN who introduced Mikasa to Twilight?
Like, he was *analysing* everything and reading books and watching movies, but was ashamed of it, and Mikasa once spotted him writing another long essay about, "The more Edward loves Bella, the more he thinks he's in danger: principles of the selective abstraction and polarizes thinking", and so he introduced her with the saga after this.
BONUS: before AruAni became a thing, Armin heard Annie playing and singing Paramore - Decode, and he was mesmerized by her voice, playing and beauty, and so he was so smitten with her, that he didn't even notice that Annie was, in fact, smitten with him, too. It took them a while before they became a couple, but when they did, Annie plays Decode only for him :3
HI ANNAAAA, AND OH MY GOD YES!! THIS IS SUCH A GREAT IDEA AAAAAAGH, thank you for sending it in!! <3
It turned out rather long ahaha, so i'll put it under the cut. Please do beware of the angst ahead :3
So in a high school au, let's say Armin was 16 this year. That would mean that he was born in the same year the first Twilight movie was released (2008), just 3 weeks before. So, imagine his parents, a young couple, new parents to a little bundle of light, huddling up on the little couch in their little apartment, trying to ignore the cold, switching through channels to make the time pass. They randomly get to a channel streaming Twilight, so they watch it all. And little Armin doesn't cry once, he just stares at the screen with those big eyes of his, as if he understood everything that was going on. For the next 5 years, each November they would watch the release of another Twilight movie (except for that one time in like 2010 when they released it in June). And after the saga was complete, they'd watch it all in November, maybe even on Armin's birthday to make it more special. Until the day he turned 10, and his parents didn't come home– they never came home again, it was just him and his grandfather. Yet every time he missed them, he put on a Twilight movie, and the grief would get a little more bearable.
So as he grew older, he grew more attached to the saga. He started analysing everything about it, every little detail, because it made him feel closer to his parents. But he never shared those ideas, because they were so intimate and he was already getting bullied enough- so, he kept them in a little notebook. Until one day in math class when he was about 13 or 14, he was scribbling down ideas for that essay you mentioned- "The more Edward loves Bella, the more he thinks he's in danger" (which is such a cool title btw, love it). And Mikasa peeked over his shoulder and read a bit, and she was so engrossed with it that she didn't stop pestering him until he showed her the movies.Which was life changing for Mikasa, because she now finally had something she truly loved, but also for Armin- someone liked his ideas; he got to share his love for the series again, and it made him happy. So he finally found the courage to share his analyses and ideas, and they were well recieved by the fandom.
But he never finished that essay, not until he met Annie. He met her just as you said- he heard her singing once and was irrevocably in love. Except, i head canon that Annie would be such a distant and quiet person in high school, it would take a LOT to get close to her. Not only is she aloof, she's also extremely direct- so all his efforts to sit with her or strike up conversation ended up in her berating him for bugging her. Besides, there was Bert too, always two steps behind Annie in an almost stalky manner, but she seemed to indulge his presence better than Armin's.
So, Armin gave up on trying to pursue her. He accepted the fact that he was the Jacob in this situation and that his Bella has chosen the giant vampire, and drowned himself into his theories and analysis. He found that essay in his drafts, and decided to work on it again. "The more Edward loves Bella, the more he thinks he's in danger: principles of the selective abstraction and polarized thinking". It helped to put his own feelings and love somewhere.
But the bullies found it. They found his notebook, tore it all up, gave him one hell of a beating. Armin was left bruised and broken and with a ruined notebook. His work, his life's purpose- gone. He didn't know what to do, so he picked himself up, gathered the pieces of paper that used to be his essay, and started walking astray through the school. Until he heard soft guitar tunes coming out of the music room, and found Annie there, playing her guitar, wearing a scowl on her face. Somehow, her scowl only deepened when she saw him.
"I didn't know where else to go." He couldn't go home and worry his grandpa, and he couldn't go to his friends either, or Eren would have caused a scene. "Is it cool if I stay here? I promise not to bother you."
Annie looked him up and down, examining him thoroughly, her eyes widening the slightest bit at the sight of his bruises. "It's whatever," she finally said.
So they sat in the music room, each doing their own thing. Armin put his essay back together, and Annie carried on with her song. No word was spoken between them that day, or the next day, or the next week, yet there was peace in the quiet and comfort in the silent understanding passed between them. But Annie's silence turned into nods of aknowledgement and later into quiet 'hi's. Armin's turned into little smiles and stolen glances, and occasional "hey do you want some chips?"s. One day, two months into this arrangement, as she was taking a little break from her guitar and munching on his chips, she asked about that essay of his.
"How come you haven't finished it yet, don't you have a deadline for it?"
And so, feeling extremely self conscious, Armin beat around the bush and said that it was this silly character analyses for a show he liked.
The next day, Annie was playing another song, but he didn't recognize it at first because she played it in little sequences, never in full length. Eventually, maybe three or four weeks later, she asked him to put his essay aside for a minute and just listen, and she played Paramore's Decode, both guitar and voice. Armin was left absolutely mesmerized, so much so that he didn't know what to say, staring at Annie with a big dumb smile on his face. But the more he stared, the more self aware Annie became. She flushed a deep red, picked up all her stuff in a hurry and left.
That was the moment Armin realized he was completely smitten. He went home, sat down at his desk- and decided to finish his essay that very day, give it to Annie in the morning, and confess his love through it. Which is exactly what he did. He was an absolute zombie the next day, having barely slept, but when he made it to the music room his heart was beating like crazy against his chest.
Annie got flustered when she saw him. "This is my room, I found it first. If you're gonna sit there and mock me for what I play, then you can stick your nose right up your-"
He thrusted the papers in her arms. "Just read this," he demanded.
Annie looked between him and the papers with skeptical eyes, but eventually sat down and started reading through them. Armin sat next to her and carefully watched her face as she read, taking into account every little change in her expression.
When she was done, Annie sat the papers neatly between them.
"Okay. And?"
"What do you think?"
"What does this have to do with me?"
Armin took a deep breath in, building up his courage. He couldn't back out now.
"This is how I feel about you. What do you think?"
#the amount of knowledge i have on this saga is sorta concerning actually#but i had so much fun with this!!#thank you anna for the creative boost#asks and answers#armin arlert#aot school castes#aruani#aot school castes x twilight
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modern au whete zyc is a stripper and zyz is an older businessman whos at the club with work friends and is initially bored af until he sees zyc and goes hmmmmmm
A/N: I finally caught the bug that has been going around. So I was laid up for the better part of the weekend. I see the fic prompts in my inbox, so thanks everyone so kindly for sending them in! Sorry for the lack of fics from my end. I'm afraid this week will be very jam-packed on my end, but I shall endeavour to keep the fics coming :)
Enjoy this one!
--
Li Lun has always brought out the best and the worst of Zhu Yan. Lately, it has been a lot of the latter.
Friends since the moment they first met, they'd changed jobs together, climbed the corporate ladder, backstabbed and schemed their way to where they both are now -- titans of their industry who were both competitors and collaborators all the same. You couldn't speak one's name without mentioning the other, and it was just right too.
But twenty-five years of the hustle is, for better or worse, starting to weigh on him. He has seen it all.
The bloodthirst that is only slaked by a vicious takeover. Walking arm-in-arm into the most exclusive parties with the most beautiful people, tasting the best champagne and the best caviar, sleeping in the most expensive hotels that money can buy.
Zhu Yan has done it all. And he did it with Li Lun by his side.
It's another Friday. Another looming weekend that he has to stare down the barrel of, wondering what will it be this time -- a weekend he will lose to the sex and the drugs in the arms of someone his assistants will make sign ironclad NDAs before they make the hotel lobby? Or a weekend holed up in his giant penthouse watching something on his television without actually watching him.
He's about to leave his office when Li Lun slings an arm around his shoulders, talking his ear off about this new place one of the boys found. Zhu Yan is only half-listening, not even paying attention when he is steered towards the VIP parking spaces, parked in the passenger seat of his own car as Li Lun takes the wheel.
By the time he comes back to himself, Li Lun is laughing in his ear as the music swells along with the cheers of the crowd when the spotlight singles down on the stage.
There's a pole on the said stage, plenty of half-naked people playing the wait staff lingering around, and equally just as many dangerous-looking men in the perimeter of the room. Zhu Yan's not that slow as to not put two and two together.
He is about to turn to Li Lun, to ask him what's going on when the music stops and all lights but the spotlight turn off.
And out of the shadows, steps an angel.
He has nothing on but a silver thong and a pair of wings the colour of a raven's that sit dark and flared on his back. The hint of purples and blues glitter and shift as he walks into the light. But the first thing that Zhu Yan notes when the angel comes into full view is how everything else falls away at the sight of his beauty.
Slender and pale, there is a litheness in his body as he hypnotises the crowd with his walk. Dark hair slicked back, an alluring blush sits high on his cheekbones, accentuated by plump red lips that invite the most ardent of kisses.
Then, the angel tilts his face up to the light and opens his eyes.
They're the most stunning shade of blue. Contacts, perhaps, but to Zhu Yan it only serves to accentuate the almost cold aura the angel gives. The world hushes when he takes a hand to the pole and pulls himself into position.
He can vaguely feel Li Lun saying something into his ear and a drink being pressed into his hand, but to Zhu Yan, all that exists at that moment is the way the angel is dancing in the spotlight.
For a beat, Zhu Yan feels a deep sour twist in his gut when the men and women closest to his angel reach out for him. Clamouring, arms outstretched, they look like devotees worshipping their god. For another beat, Zhu Yan wishes he was there with them. On his knees in supplication, lips kissing the arch of his angel's feet.
The angel twirls, legs stretched showing off his incredible flexibility. Zhu Yan's eyes follow when he dismounts, rolling his hips, and tossing a look over his shoulders as he goes. It makes his heartbeat stutter and Zhu Yan realises that this is the first time in a long time that he can honestly say that he feels alive. Alive in the way that matters. Present, in the moment, no longer just a passenger in his own life.
With that in mind, even before his angel steps off his stage, Zhu Yan is calling the maître d over to make his introductions. Li Lun is raising his eyebrows at him, no doubt thinking about what he could tease him for come Monday, but Zhu Yan does not think that this will be something for the weekend.
No. Zhu Yan knows that he won't rest until his angel is his alone and no one else's. And as he leaves the glass of liquor that he has yet to drink from, ignoring the way Li Lun is calling him back, he has a feeling that he will do everything in his power to make sure that he at least knows his angel's name before the night is over.
#fangs of fortune#fangs of fortune fic#yuanyi#zhao yuanzhou#zhu yan#zhuo yichen#gab writes stuff#aaaaa I think I like the premise of this one a lot#might revisit this when things calm down a little irl
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youtube
This was so beautifully done 😭👔JAIRO🎀💖✨
#the ending of this puts a new twist on the ending#and the meaning of 'i came'#bc then it would mean that he ultimately DID leave his wife for her#whoa#and that's part of why she's shocked to see him at first#sheds a tear but then smiles BEFORE he tells he that he came (to be there for/with her) there's zero other explanation why the accused would#even dare talk to his accuser unless he was caving to her wants#plus in that essay she is asking directly “is this what it is to be an adult? the same exquisite longing of adolescence but with the burden#of constant accountability...No excuses for your choices for they are yours and yours alone?“ she's asking that cuz she got caught#i always thought it was weird that he would tell her that he came to his OWN hearing bc i mean that's kinda obvs to go to ur own hearing#miller's girl#cairo sweet#jonathan miller#jenna ortega#martin freeman#jairo#they do belong to each other#you belong to me#teacher student#teacher crush#under virgin circumstances#miller's girl fan works#miller's girl fan fiction#benson is my happy place#at least benson can only be spoiled by us
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scene from where the apple falls by @jupiters-junipers :-) wholeheartedly recommend any and all of her work
#klance#voltron#vld#ok now time to freak it in the tags#to be honest i saw colleen blogging her read of New and the two of us went back and forth in dms for like 20 mins straight#abt all the things we like abt europas work#and i was like okay i have to assert my membership in the europa fan club too hang on#ive had 'draw europa report scene' in my art to-do file for months but thbeyre all so good#i couldnt choose!#due west is obviously The One the flagship#but they all deserve love....#i tell you to be honest im a coward i usually avoid any unfinished fics cause i like to binge but for europas work its simply worth it#anyway i envy you if you dont know who im talking abt bc that means u get to read her work for the first time...sighs dreamily#art#my art#ANYWAY THIS ONE IS SAD. EUROPA UNDERSCORE REPORT YOU ARE A TWISTED INDIVUDAL (affectionate)#im putting my life in ur hands with those happy ending tags.... save me help me..... auuughghh...
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Actually you know what, I'm gonna post this. Check it out, I'm fiddling with this PMV. Spoils the whole game ofc. And the name of the song is pure imagination by Fiona Apple!
Also I'm apparently a big fan of drawing moon laying down 😂 total count including scrapped drawings is 5 (technically 6)
#rain world#animation#video#wip#Pmv#Yeah I busted most of this out yesterday in one 9 hour long tunnel-visioned drawing sesh#(new meds)#LMFAO but yeah at this point I put aboutttt 16 hours into this and I'm quite proud of how it's come out so far#I had a lot of trouble with Arti's design. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do for the longest time#Then I got to the shot of her screaming and was like yeah. Max floof. Momma bear arti. Yesss#God forbid I ever use the same design twice#On that note I have no idea where that sexy saint design came from. I love it. It just came out of me#There were a few things I wanted to fix before uploading but literally whatever#I'm gonna redraw so much it doesn't even matter#The ending is on its way too. I already have it roughly planned out; classic double twist ending ✨#But I decided to scope creep by making it full color so who knows if it'll get finished#I'll sketch it in gold just in case#Love that this is the first thing I do upon finally getting some energy back. My projects? No. Talk to friends? Nah#Make an entire pmv? Bingo#Coughs. Anyways
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I’m remembering the Lovelace and Jacobi friendship thing they had going on the Urania and oufgh
#once again singing my praises for the wolf 359 wiki pages#and y’all better BELIEVE I’m using that shit in ouroboros. don’t even play w me#THEYRE MIRRORS OF EACH OTHER!! TWISTED BROKEN SHATTERED MIRRORS!!!#THEY LOST EVERYTHING!!! THE ONLY DUFFERENCE IS THAT LOVELACE’S PIECES WERE ABLE TO BE PUT BACK TOGETHER#AND JACOBI’S COULDNT BE#DO YOU HEAR ME.#DO YOU SEE MY VISION.#tweaking rn im just so#hrrenghhghadhddhh#tragic friendship honestly#lovelace sees herself in jacobi in the latter end of brave new world#someone put me down#wolf 359#w359#daniel jacobi#isabel lovelace#the ouroboros cycle#<-au tag because I need this for later probably#be fucking warned
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hear me out for genshin x bsd-
atsushi would be a cryo claymore that scales off atk (since the tiger is shown as extremely powerful and can even cut through space) and optimizes physical dmg
dazai would be a geo sword support that increases elemental res, acting as a debuffer (as no longer human works in the bsd universe) he would also scale off em
kunikida would also be geo but catalyst that deals physical aoe dmg.. he'd be an in-slot dps but not an optimal one imao his talents are much better suited to make him a battery unit
akutagawa would be pyro polearm?? or sword?? and he's obviously a heavy dps that scales off crit rate/dmg and tenma tengai could be similar to cyno's burst when, once activated, increases def while simultaneously raising rashomon's atk
chuuya would be an anemo catalyst dps similar to wanderer bc of his gravity manipulation and he would have a melee stance where he atks from the ground and an elevated state where he uses gravity manipulation to be able to atk off-ground. his ult would be corruption obviously and would parallel xiao's where his atk and crit rate/dmg are sharply increased but he undergoes continuous dmg until the duration of his burst ends (in this state he is vulnerable as his def is lowered and he isn't able to accumulate energy meaning he needs a team built around him, preferably with a healer and a shielder)
how does it feel to be the sexiest person on this site w absolutely the most correct and banger takes anon??.. why are u correct on literally everything
#DAZAI BEING GEO IS A SMART MOVE I LIKE THAT. i would've seen him as cryo (bc nlh is blue and also bc cryo is the element of contradiction)#(much like how dazai lashes out against his inherently selfish nature to help atsushi)#(and how he does not see himself as human and feels alienated from human society bc of it yet he is written to be the most relatable-#-character in the show?? or at least i think so)#BUT GEO MAKES SENSE.. GEO REPRESENTS DETERMINATION AND PERSEVERANCE#GEO VISION HOLDERS HAVE MINDS OF STONE AND WILL DO ANYTHING TO ACHIEVE THEIR GOALS#WHILE THIS CAN BE SEEN AS A NOBLE AND DILIGENT TRAIT.. DAZAIS MORALLY GRAY CHARACTERIZATION PUTS A WHOLE NEW TWIST ON WHAT THIS ENTAILS#HE IS MACHIAVELLIAN INTRINSICALLY. ITS WHO HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN. HE BELIEVES THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS#AND WHETHER HE ACHIEVES THAT THROUGH MANIPULATION OR THROWING AWAY HIS OWN HUMANITY.. HE WILL DO IT IF IT SEES HIS PLAN THROUGH#also kunikida would be dendro imao bc of his adherence and passion for his ideals#which parallels dendro users highly valuing and pursuing knowledge above all#anyway sry for rambling in the tags again those are just my thoughts feel free to disagree <33#lotus’s asks
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Ah- Hello everyone..! I’m awake now!
and I have- oh dear sevens I have 589 notifications..
Apologies for disappearing😓
#// HA loser thinks he disappeared instead of giving regular updates#<- what?#// I’ll put you back to sleep.#<- …no thank you#twst rp#twisted wonderland rp#twst roleplay#{✦ leblanche’s comments. . .}#{✦🍎A new fear of apples. . . | end of poisoned neige}
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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