#benson is my happy place

[hislittleraincloud]

This was so beautifully done 😭👔JAIRO🎀💖✨

[fruity-phrog]

Okay, I saw someone say that Nimona, while being good representation, “didn’t take the big step forward in queer rep that everyone says it did”.

That is wrong. So wrong, my dude.

Yes, an explicit and open queer relationship in children’s cartoons is not new, per ce. Hell, just this year, two popular kids’ cartoons had the main character in an open, adorable, plot-based queer romance. But this is different for a few reasons.

Reason number one, it isn’t left in suspense. Yes, they had that split for three odd weeks, but they started the film as a couple. One of the very first scenes is them together as a couple, Ambrosius saying he loves Ballister, them holding hands, Ballister leaning on Ambrosius’ shoulder. Ambrosius says he loves Ballister three times during the film, and none of them are any more than halfway in. It’s very clear, from their very first interaction, that they are an established relationship, which isn’t something I’ve seen...at all in other animation.

Secondly, they are the plot. Ambrosius not believing Ballister, Ambrosius cutting off Ballister’s arm, Ballister trying to get the video to Ambrosius - this is what drives the plot. In any other children’s animation with queer relationships, the relationship is not the main focus. Even The Owl House, which is so amazing with its constant representation, would still make sense if Luz and Amity never happened. But Nimona’s plot wouldn’t make sense without Ballister and Ambrosius’ relationship. It, quite simply, can’t be erased. It could work as a friendship, yes, but that’s the point. They could have just been two close friends that fell on opposite sides of a fight, but they weren’t. They were two lovers that fell on opposite sides of a fight. 

Thirdly, they aren’t sanitized for “family viewing”. An emerging trend in children’s animation is to only have mlm relationships as fathers to make them seem more “family friendly”. With the exception of Kipo, there really isn’t many tv shows or films that places light upon an mlm relationship. And if it does, it'll be a teen relationship because teenagers being queer tends to come across as less “dirty” and more “innocent”. But Goldenheart is none of these things. They are adults without the mollifying aspect of having a family. And on top of that, they fight. They wield swords and they get bloody and they shoot at things and get angry and yell. They aren’t “clean” and “innocent”.

As well as this, they are in a film. Films are far more accessible than tv shows. You have to watch twenty seven episodes before Lumity in toh is canon. Troy kisses Benson on the eleventh episode of Kipo. And there are two hundred and eighty three episodes of Adventure Time before Marceline and Bonnie kiss. But with a film, the queerness is much more forward - especially in Nimona, where it’s literally the second scene. Animated films hardly ever display queer relationships, but Nimona did.

Finally - they aren’t perfect. I don’t know about you, but three weeks of thinking your boyfriend/maybe ex is a murderer? Doesn’t sound like a healthy few weeks to me. I have only seen big relationship arguments portrayed in straight relationships in cartoons - think Star Vs The Forces Of Evil - whereas queer relationships either have the massive fight prior to being canonically gay - She Ra - or have conflict, not arguments, that are dealt with quickly - Dead End/The Owl House. But Goldenheart? Goldenheart suffers. Their relationship is pushed to such extreme boundaries as for them to be pretty much exes throughout most of the movie. And yet, they are clearly healthy, happy and very much in love at the end. 

TL;DR - Nimona is amazing with the queer representation, and it is a milestone for LGBTQ+ cartoons. Not only is the relationship romantic for the entire movie, the plot is driven by Ambrosius and Ballister’s sort-of-break-up. In short, they are treated the same way straight people are. They have flaws, they have massive arguments, they have plot importance, they have backstory. They are in love. And that’s what matters more than anything else. 

[little-diable]

My Greatest Fear - Dean Winchester (smut)

Don't say I didn't warn y'all. Inspired by Benson Boone's new song "My Greatest Fear". Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: Dean broke things off with the reader years ago, the biggest mistake of his life. But when Sam tells his brother that (y/n) is getting married, Dean knows it's time to make things right. He won't leave this life behind without being able to call her his once again.

Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, ex-lovers to lovers, some angst, lots of fluff tho, reader is a runaway bride

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader (3k words)

Got a lot on my mind that keeps me up at night, I’m tossing and turning, thinking that my life’s gone to waste

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Dean shot the waitress a big smile as she placed his breakfast down, blushing as the handsome man winked at her. The older Winchester brother was too focused on his food to pick up on the uneasiness radiating off Sam, to focus on the sadness swimming in his brother’s pupils. 

“Fuck, that’s good.” Dean’s moans rumbled through him as he ate the greasy deliciousness, sipping on his coffee every now and then. It took him a while to lift his gaze, to allow his green eyes to focus on Sam’s untouched breakfast, forcing Dean’s eyebrows to furrow in confusion. “Not hungry? Shouldn’t you eat something after a long run?” 

“Mhm,” Sam’s eyes were focused on the window, unable to look at his brother any longer. His heart clenched in his chest, his mind was racing faster than it had in the past months, struggling to part his lips. 

“Sam,” Dean’s raspy voice forced Sam’s eyes back towards his older brother, unable to hold eye contact for long. “What’s wrong?” 

Dean had put down his breakfast burger while taking another sip of coffee. He patiently waited for Sam to speak, to spill whatever was visibly plaguing him. But Sam kept quiet, deeply inhaling as if he had to muster the strength to speak. Dean repeated his brother’s name, much quieter this time around, gentle almost – as if he had finally realised that whatever Sam was about to speak would hurt them both. 

“I received an email this morning.” It was a whisper, nothing more, words so obscurely simple that Dean couldn’t help but laugh. But Sam didn’t give in, killing Dean’s hope that Sam was simply fucking with him. Something heavy was about to claw through Sam, something heavy that could determine the outcome of this very day. “It was from Mary, (y/n)’s sister.”

Now it was on Dean to freeze, not expecting his brother to speak her name. Their eyes met, urging Sam to keep on speaking, to tell his brother about the email he had opened with shaky fingers, freezing in his step as he read the words she had written to him. 

“(Y/n)’s getting married, Dean.” Sam was forced to watch Dean sink back into the seat, arms crossed in front of his chest, uneasy eyes staring down at the table. And for a moment, neither of them spoke, letting the words sink in – words that had been Dean’s greatest fear ever since he had left her all these years ago. 

He had been stupid back then, too childish for his own good. Guided by his father’s words, he had dropped (y/n) and the life they could have lived together. His father had made pretty promises, telling his young son of women awaiting him, women he shouldn’t miss out on because of a marriage that would only tie him to (y/n), away from all the fun he could experience. The greatest mistake of his life, a mistake he hated himself for every single day. 

“That’s good for her. I’m happy she found somebody who treats her right.” The words pained Dean to speak, rolling off his tongue with a sharp edge that left Sam cringing. His hand found Dean’s forearm, gently squeezing his brother’s arm in a gesture so unfamiliar, Dean had to stop himself from shaking off Sam’s hand. 

“Dean, I’ve always loved her like a sister, I only want what’s best for her. But you’re my brother, I know how much not having her around scars you, I see it every day on your face. Get her back, try it at least.” 

Of all the things that I've been afraid to lose, my greatest fear of all is losing you

……

“I shouldn’t do this.” They were parked in front of the small church, eyes watching the big crowd of unfamiliar faces. Both Dean and Sam were wearing a suit, knowing that they had to blend in with the wedding guests to find their way to (y/n). “Why should she take me back? Why should she even listen to me?”

“Dean, if there is one thing I know it’s that she still loves you. Let’s get your girl back.” Sam was first to step out into the warm morning, eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses as they walked up to the crowd. He felt Dean close, not daring to speak up with his choked-up throat, with his heart pounding in his chest, knowing that this would be his only shot to make things right for once in his life. 

“Mary!” Sam’s voice echoed through the air, eyes focused on the frame of (y/n)’s sister. The young woman flung herself into Sam’s open arms, chuckling into his neck as he held her close for a moment. A moment too long for Dean who was growing more antsy with every passing second. 

“Thank you for coming. She’s making a mistake, Sam. You’re my only hope with this.” The words left Dean frozen, confused eyes flickering between his brother and Mary. He hadn’t read the email Mary had sent to Sam, hadn’t asked any further questions about the man (y/n) was about to marry, trusting that he was somebody she loved. “Come, I’ll bring you to her.”

“What the fuck man?” Dean growled the words at Sam as he followed them through the crowd and towards a small house built near the church. Sam fell into pace with his brother, watching Mary lead them towards the place where (y/n) was currently getting ready. 

“Well, you didn’t think I’d let you do this without knowing (y/n) would willingly leave her fiancé, did you? I wouldn’t destroy her happiness just like that, Dean.” Realistically, Dean should have known that Sam wouldn’t just push him into this without knowing that there was a chance to get her back. Sam had hated him for a while after he had left (y/n), punishing Dean for breaking her heart at any given chance, a broken bond that had needed months to be repaired. 

“(Y/n)? I brought two special guests.” Mary’s voice echoed through the small cabin, ringing in the brother’s ears as they waited outside. Dean felt his hands tremble, forced to let go of deep exhales as Mary opened the door for them, allowing them to step inside. His eyes were drawn to (y/n)’s like a moth to a flame, and his world stopped spinning, unable to focus on anything but her.

It took (y/n) a second to react, seemingly confused about the appearance of the two hunters she hadn’t seen in years. She was pulled into a hug by Sam, giving Dean another moment to admire her, the white dress she wore – a sight he had only seen in his dreams, imagining this very day, with him waiting at the altar for her. Dreams that had evaporated into a hazy nothingness the day he had left her. 

“Hi, sweetheart.” She sank into Dean’s grasp, clinging to him as if he hadn’t been the man who had broken her heart all these years ago. He watched his brother and Mary leave the cabin, giving the two some time alone as they kept on holding one another. 

“What are you doing here, Dean?” (Y/n) mumbled the words against the fabric of his suit jacket, not caring about smudging her make-up, not caring about anything but the way Dean held her close – as if he hadn’t ever stopped holding her. Carefully, Dean let her go, needing to give them some distance for the words he was about to speak, knowing that this could escalate any moment now. 

“I can’t let you marry another man without telling you that leaving you was my greatest mistake. A life without you has always been my biggest fear, I was stupid, so fucking stupid, sweetheart. I shouldn’t have listened to Dad, I should have married you right that day. And I hate myself for not doing it, for letting you go when you have always been my whole world. I know there is no chance for me to make things right, and even though Sammy and Mary hope that I will sweep you off of your feet and bring you back home to us, I know I can’t.” Tears dripped from her eyes, tears (y/n) didn’t care to wipe away. 

“I hated you for years, you broke me, Dean. You took away my life, my friends, the people I had grown to love. You ripped my heart right out of my chest, and even though I tried to fight for it, to regain its strength, I miserably failed. I should curse you, should tell you to fuck off and never show your face to me again. But I can’t. For Christ’s sake, Dean. What are we doing here?” He cupped her face with shaking fingers, letting his forest-green eyes run over her gorgeous face. 

“I want to kill him for getting a chance to love you, time that has been wasted because of me. But I don’t want to take another choice from you. If you want to marry him, I will watch from the first row, hell, I’ll even carry your veil.” His voice shook as he whispered the words, growing tense as (y/n) rested her hands on top of his, still cupping her cheeks.

“And if I don’t want to marry him?” 

……

I'm scared to take another picture of you, 'cause I'm scared to have another thing that I can lose, oh, dear, who am I without you here?

“I thought you were taking me home, where are we going?” Her laughter echoed through Baby, eyes set on Dean’s grinning features. They had left the church a while ago, running away like she had secretly hoped they would. (Y/n) had always been a dreamer, a dreamer who had pictured that very moment since the day it had dawned on her – about to marry a man she didn’t love. A man who wasn’t Dean Winchester. 

“We’ve got another thing to take care of first, I am not losing any more time.” Baby screeched to a halt in front of a pink church, a sight that left (y/n) confused, and Dean and Sam chuckling. They made their way into the church, with her fingers interlaced with Dean’s, with her white wedding gown clinging to her frame, with his suit hugging his frame. 

“Dean, Sam, I didn’t think I’d ever get to see you two around here!” An elderly man greeted them with a big smile. His brown eyes were drawn to (y/n)’s almost instantly, with a knowing smile growing on his lips – a smile that had an almost proud touch to it. “That’s her, huh? Took you quite some time, didn’t it.” “(Y/n), that’s Danny, an old friend of ours we met on a hunt. He could wed us, with Sammy as our witness, if you’ll have me.” Her heart had stopped beating, skipping a few beats as Dean’s words sank in. Her teary eyes found his and with a laugh clawing through her, she pressed a kiss to his lips, drawing a groan out of Dean, who tried to prolong the kiss for as long as possible. 

“I will always have you, Dean.” She was pulled towards the altar, unable to stop her tears from dripping as Danny began speaking a prayer she paid no attention to. All (y/n) could do was study Dean, the love swimming in his pupils, the way he looked at her as if she was his sun, alighting the darkest days with her mere presence. A soul crafted for his to hold onto, to love till their time together would eventually run out. 

“Do you have any rings?” Danny’s soft voice ripped (y/n) out of her thoughts, about to whisper a soft, disappointed “No”, but before she could even part her lips, Sam excitedly spoke up. Her eyes watched the tall Winchester brother, how he reached for his breast pocket to expose a small envelope to her glassy eyes. Wordlessly he pushed it towards Dean, who opened it with an unwavering smile stuck to his lips. 

“I bought these rings years ago, sure to eventually push yours down on your finger. I am sorry it took me this long.” Her sob left Dean chuckling, exposing his also teary eyes to hers. She had held onto all these longings for years, mere dreams that were now finally turning real – as if she was just sleeping through another longing. 

But, you're here, now, and that makes it better, somehow

……

“Let me.” Dean’s soft voice filled his bedroom. He was standing behind (y/n), carefully helping her out of her wedding dress with his gaze focused on the ring clinging to his finger. The past hours had flown by all too quickly, turning her from a runaway bride into his wife. His wife. A title so unfamiliar, Dean had to fight against the urge to pinch himself.

His for eternity. His to love. His to worship. 

“I love you, Dean.” (Y/n) whispered her words as she stepped out of her dress, exposing her underwear-clad frame to his hungry eyes. She was pulled into a teeth-chasing kiss, a kiss dripping with emotions that made her feel all too dizzy, having to hold onto Dean before she could be ripped into another dimension. 

“I love you too, sweetheart. And I’m so fucking sorry for missing out on this for years.” He pressed her down on the mattress, giving her a show as he slowly undressed. Her body was aching for him, needing to feel Dean close after all these long years apart. 

“Stop apologising with words and show me that you truly mean them.” His lips kissed her chest, the valley between her breasts as he undid her bra, exposing her hardening nipples to his twinkling eyes. Dean could cum just from the sight of her naked frame, a sight he had only seen in his dreams for the past years, not daring to imagine being this fortunate again. 

“God, you’re so beautiful. I promise to worship you for as long as you want me to.” Dean’s raspy words vibrated on her skin, covering her body with goosebumps as he kneaded her soft flesh. His cock was pressed against her clothed heat, drawing moans from her whenever he moved against her heat, desperate for the kind of friction that left them both trembling.

“I need you inside of me, Dean.” Her raspy whispers left him groaning against her skin as she raised her hips to help him pull her damp panties down her legs. Just this morning, (y/n) had imagined this very moment, knowing that she’d think of Dean when her husband touched her, a loveless marriage she would have been trapped in. 

“Are you still on birth control?” (Y/n) could only nod her head, mind taken up by the feeling of his wandering hands, keeping her pressed against him. Dean's cock twitched against her naked cunt, brushing through her arousal-covered folds to coat himself, “I love you, and I’ll do my best to prove it to you for the rest of our lives.”

“I love you too, Dean.” He pushed into her with a groan, forehead falling against hers as she fluttered around him. It felt as if he had entered paradise, falling to rest on clouds covering his body. She was his Elysium, his safe haven, the one where Dean could be the truest version of himself. 

He moved slowly at first, both needed some time to adjust to one another after all these years, but the second their bodies relaxed, properly enjoying one another’s closeness, Dean began to move faster. Their bodies met with every thrust, eyes holding a contact so intense, (y/n) feared her heart would explode right in her chest. 

Dean was taking his time with her, this wasn’t a rushed fuck to make up for all the time lost, no, it was so much more. This was the purest form of love, a one-of-a-kind love both had clung to in lonely nights, with wandering minds and trembling hands. This is what they had been destined to have, years ago – a love they were now rediscovering. 

“You feel so good, baby.” He felt her clenching around his cock, drawing another gritty sound out of Dean. (Y/n) was long gone, pushed into another dimension where she only knew Dean, nothing but his love, his touch, his irrevocable longing for her. Sensations she was taken hostage by, unable to shake them. 

His warm fingertips found her pulsing bundle, circling it with just enough pressure to draw his name out of her. (Y/n) could feel her orgasm slithering its way up her body, whispering to her to hold onto her husband, and with her fingernails clawed into Dean’s shoulders, she came. He followed her right down the edge, moaning against her lips as their bodies were moulded together. 

“Fuck, we’ll have to do that all through the night, husband.” (Y/n) whispered the words as a few heavy pants left her, making a laugh claw out of Dean who chased her slightly swollen lips for another kiss. 

“Trust me, I won’t let you leave our bed for weeks, wife.” 

Don't know how the broken pieces fit together if you leave it, so, don't go, don't go, I would take your hand if I could reach it

[oneshotnewbie]

Olivia Benson and Reader break up. Two weeks after that, they're distant towards each other even though Reader is working with the SVU. Two weeks after Olivia breaks up with Olivia, she sees Reader dancing with a stranger and she is jelly. Maybe she goes to Reader, takes her by the hand without saying a word and brings her to the next room or something and then... it's up to you! Fluffy, Angst and maybe pre-smut pls?

⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️ This one-shot includes pre-smut and the plot is presented. That's why I only recommend reading it if you are over 18+. If this triggers you too easily or you just can´t handle the subject, I urge you NOT to read this work. I am NOT embellishing this topic under any circumstance. Read at your own risk.

Authors note: Woah.. Lets say I got carried away. I had to cut out a whole section to keep it suitable for my younger audience, even though it hurt my heart to delete my work. There is still a bit of pre-smut like you requested. But I hope you like it anyway ♥

ᕚ---ᕘ

The hum of the neon lights on the ceiling and the roar of the air conditioning mixed with the muted clacking of computer keyboards seemed louder than usual in the busy Special Victims Unit. The air was heavy with unspoken words and broken promises. Everyone in the room felt the change, even if no one said it out loud.

The office was usually a place of hectic activity, where phone calls, keyboards, and hushed conversations formed a constant backdrop. But today was different.

You sat at your desk, eyes glued to the screen in front of you, the words of the report blurred before your eyes. Your mind was far away, on old memories of happy times before everything fell apart. On the woman who had broken your heart. Olivia Benson, Lieutenant and steadfast leader of the team, had been more than just your superior. She was your partner, your confidante, the love of your life. But now she was just your boss, and the distance between you was painfully real.

Since splitting up with Olivia, everything had changed. The dynamics in the office, the atmosphere, even the way others looked at you - everything was different. She had been your rock. Strong, determined, and unwavering. She had always held the team together, been a leader, and the one who never backed down, no matter how hard it was. But now there was something in her eyes that you had never seen before - a coldness, a distance that hurt every time your eyes happened to meet.

You only spoke to each other when necessary, and the times when you had worked as a harmonious team seemed far away. The rupture in your relationship was reflected in every aspect of your work. Cases that were once solved with ease now dragged on. Decisions that were once made instinctively and together now had to be laboriously and formally agreed upon.

Olivia sat in her office, the door only half open. She had tried to throw herself into her work to fill the emptiness in her heart, but it didn't help. Every time she looked up, she saw you - and every time you looked at her, it hurt. Your eyes met briefly through the glass before both quickly looked away again, unable to hide the feelings that still burned within you.

Detective Amanda Rollins, who was sitting at her desk next to Fin Tutuola, sighed quietly and shook her head in displeasure. She and the rest of the team had noticed the unspoken tension and cool politeness between the two of you. "Have you noticed?" she whispered quietly so only her partner could hear her. He nodded, his eyes fixed on the monitor. "Yes, it's hard to miss. It's as if a dark cloud is hanging over the office. Rain is pouring down on us."

"I thought they would stay together forever," she said sadly, more to herself, watching you with a sideways glance. "They were the perfect couple. Why did they have to split up?"

"Sometimes love alone isn't enough," Fin murmured, his voice heavy with life experience and knowledge of the complexity of human relationships. Amanda pushed her chair back and came to your desk, sitting on a corner of the wood, her arms folded under her chest. "What's wrong with you two? You're like two icebergs meeting in Antarctica." she began her conversation, giving you a questioning look.

You sighed and rubbed your eyes. "It's complicated, 'manda. It wasn't exactly a nice break-up. Just leave it, please?"

Amanda shook her head, her face showing compassion and understanding. "I know it's hard, but you both have to find a way to deal with it. It's not just a burden on you, but on the entire team."

You nodded, but you knew it wasn't that easy. The rifts that had developed between you and Olivia were deep and painful. It wasn't just a professional challenge, but a personal catastrophe that you both tried to overcome in your own way.

Meanwhile, Olivia had made her way out of her office, a stack of files in her hands. She moved through the room with her usual determination, but there was a certain rigidity in her posture. You could see her shoulders tense as she crossed the room to your desk. In the past, you would have known how to calm her down and take away her nervousness, would have known what words and gestures she would have needed. But those days were over.

"Y/n, I need you in my office," she said, not looking directly at you. She handed you a report, your fingers touching briefly before you stood up, your heart beating faster at the thought of being alone with her. The tension between you was palpable as you followed her and closed the door behind you. She sat down while you stood across from her, the desk as a barrier between you.

"We need to talk about the case, you're the lead investigator," Olivia began, her voice professional but cool. "The evidence is thin and we need a new strategy."

You nodded, trying to focus on the conversation, but her proximity made it difficult. "I agree. Maybe we should question the witnesses again and see if we missed something."

Your eyes met again, and for a moment everything else was forgotten. The attraction, the passion, the love - all of it was still there, just beneath the surface. But you both knew it wasn't that easy. Too many things stood between you, things that couldn't be overcome so easily. "We have to stay professional," Olivia said finally, her voice breaking. How she would love to hug you right now. "The team needs us to be strong."

You nodded again, your eyes heavy with unspoken feelings. "I know. But it's hard, Liv. Working with you every day and pretending everything is fine when it isn't."

"We have no choice," she whispered, visibly tense. "We have to find a way to deal with this. For the victims who are counting on us.“

The following days were torture for both of you. You worked side by side, your interactions brief and distant. Each of you tried to remain as professional as possible, but the unspoken feelings and the broken relationship between you and Olivia weighed on you.

One evening, when most of your colleagues had already gone home, you stayed late at the office. You worked on a strategy, trying to distract yourself. Olivia was still in her office, the light on, casting a lonely shadow in the large room you were sitting in.

Finally, you stood up and went to her. You knocked softly on the door and entered when she invited you in. "Olivia, we need to talk," you began, your voice quiet but firm. She looked at you, her eyes tired and sad. "I know, y/n. But I don't know what to say. It's all so... messed up."

"Just tell me it hurts you as much as it does me," you said, your voice growing more intense with each word. "Tell me you regret it."

"Of course it hurts," she replied, her voice shaking as she placed her sweaty and shaking hands on her lap, leaning back in her chair. "I still love you. That will never change. But you deserve better."

Tears glistened in your eyes as she reached out an arm to you, your hand enveloping hers before pulling you to her side. "I love you too, Liv. I don't need anything better, I need you."

Olivia hugged you, tight and desperate, as if she never wanted to let you go. In that moment, you both knew that the love between you was strong, but the reality of your situation demanded more than just feelings. She knew she had to find a way to balance your situation and your work so as not to put further strain on the team.

ᕚ---ᕘ

Two weeks had passed since Olivia Benson ended her relationship with you. Two weeks of stolen glances and feelings that remained unspoken. But life and work must go on, and so Olivia threw herself into her duties while you behaved just as professionally. The team continued to sense that not everything was settled between you, but no one spoke openly.

That evening, the team was at Club Delirium, a popular downtown nightclub, to conduct an undercover operation. The goal was to break up a human trafficking ring, and you had volunteered to act as bait. Olivia watched the scene from a secluded table, her eyes always fixed strictly on you.

The music blared and the lights flickered in different colors. You, in a tight, black, low-cut dress and perfectly styled hair, looked stunning. You were dancing with a strange woman whose hands were on your hips. Olivia felt a stabbing sensation in her chest. Jealousy mixed with the pain of separation burned inside her. A dangerous combination.

Every step you took, every movement, every smile you gave the stranger felt like a slap in the face. Olivia knew it was part of the mission, but it didn't make the situation any less painful. Her hands clenched into fists as she tried to keep her emotions under control.

The plan was simple: get the suspect, a ring leader, to give you information by gaining her trust. But Olivia couldn't focus on the details entering her brain through an earpiece while she watched the woman she loved give herself to someone else, even if only in appearance.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you gave a signal. The suspect had given up the information, and the team moved in to arrest her. The club turned into a chaos of flashing lights, loud music, and cops suddenly appearing. Amidst this chaos, Olivia kept her eyes on only one thing - you.

As soon as the mission was complete and the suspect was taken into custody, Olivia looked for you. She found you at the edge of the dance floor, away from the crowd. She walked up to you, grabbed your hand, and wordlessly pulled you into a side room of the club that served as a storage room.

You were roughly pushed inside, Olivia closed the door behind her and turned to you. Her eyes sparkled with unspoken jealousy. "What were you thinking?" she hissed, her voice lower but charged. You looked at her in surprise and confusion. "It was an undercover mission. I only did what was necessary."

"Necessary?" Olivia stepped closer to you, her presence overwhelming. "It looked like you enjoyed it."

Your eyes widened in shock and anger. "It was part of the job, Liv! You know that better than anyone." you said and she grabbed your wrist, pulling you closer, your bodies almost touching. "I know," she whispered, her voice rough. "But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt me to see you like this."

You took a deep breath, your eyes searching Olivia's. "I'm sorry," you said quietly. "I didn't know it would hurt you so much. After all, you broke up with me, remember?"

Olivia ran her fingers over your wrist, then your arms, until she reached your hands. "I don't want to lose you, y/n. I can't bear to see you with anyone else, even if it's just for a mission."

The tension between you was almost palpable as Olivia leaned even closer to you. "I need you," she whispered before pressing her lips to yours, possessive and desperate. You returned the kiss, your hands grasping Olivia's hair as the passion between you ignited.

In that moment, everything else was forgotten - the separation, the mission, the world outside that small room. There was only the two of you, your love, and the incessant longing that drove you to each other. Olivia pulled you closer to her, her kisses intense and demanding, as if to make up for lost time and broken promises.

You parted, panting, your foreheads leaning against each other. Olivia pulled back a little, her hand sliding to your neck, encircling it with a determined gesture. Her thumb gently stroked your skin while her dark, sparkling eyes searched your gaze intensely. "You're mine," she murmured, her voice deep and possessive.

You trembled under her touch, a soft gasp escaping your lips. "Yes, Liv," you whispered, the words full of desire and devotion. "Only yours."

Olivia pulled you closer again, her lips found yours once more, the kiss stronger this time, even more demanding than the one before. Her hands slid down your back, reaching for you as if she never wanted to let you go again. She pushed you against the wall, her body pressed tightly against yours.

"Tell me you want me," Olivia demanded, her voice dark and rough, gasping for air. "I want you, Liv," you answered, your pupils blown with desire. "I only want you."

Olivia's mischievous and dark giggle filled the small room and she continued to glide her hands over your body. Her lips found your neck, leaving hot kisses on your skin.

Your breathing quickened, your hands grabbed at her shoulders, holding her tight as Olivia continued to kiss and touch you. The world around you faded, there was only the two of you, your love and the burning desire that drove you to each other.

The intensity of the moment seemed to stop time, every touch, every kiss was a promise, a proof of her unbroken love for you. Olivia's hands slid down your sides, finding their way under the dress you wore, leaving a trail of passion on your skin.

"I need you," Olivia whispered, her voice hotter with pure desire. "Now." You nodded, your eyes closing as you surrendered to her. "I'm yours, Liv."

The heat between you was overwhelming, the passion you felt was all-encompassing. In that small room, shielded from the world, you and Olivia found yourselves again, your love and desire for each other stronger than ever.

[writersmess]

DEATH WISH LOVE | EVAN BUCKLEY

gif credit

Pairing: Evan Buckley x fem!reader

Summary: Buck never thought he could love someone like that. Especially not someone with the same death wish love as him.

Warning: Anxiety crisis, near-death experience, hospital, crying, ansgt.

Word count: 2.5K

a/n: My God, I can't believe it's taken me over a year to get back. I missed this place so much. It's been an intense, crazy year. I finally got my dream job at the best hospital in Latin America. I'm so happy, but at the same time it's demanded everything of me, working long shifts almost every day, but its the price I have to pay. I hope you like this one, it was based on the song Death Wish Love by Benson Boone, which as soon as I heard it I immediately imagined something with our dear Buck. I confess I thought I'd do something angsty, but I don't think I have that capacity, he already suffers so much that I just wanted him to have a happy ending this time.

Masterlist

................................

You were the new firefighter in 118, and also new to the city. In order to follow your dreams, you left your hometown with everyone and everything you knew. You craved for bigger things, you wanted the big city, you wanted Los Angeles.

The team welcomed you with open arms, which was unusual to you. You weren’t used to this or neither known by your affectionate gestures, but apparently everything was an excuse for a hug at the station. It was a bit hard to get used to all this affection, especially when you came from a place where you were always by yourself.

That was one of the main reasons you became a firefighter, you have walked through fire every single day of your life, why not make it your profession?

You were a source of curiosity between the team, always so quiet and so resistant to everyone's affection. It was hard to win you over. Especially because you had a rather difficult personality, you were fearless at work, you weren't afraid to go into the fire to save lives, you did it without thinking twice.

To Bobby you were a cause for concern, and sometimes the reason why he was having trouble sleeping. He knew this personality very well. It was the same one he had struggled for years to learn to deal with, the one he had to fight with so many times, he was very familiar with this death wish love, it was the same as Buck’s.

The blue-eyed man on the other side, couldn't understand why he couldn't take his eyes off you. Ever since you arrived a few months ago, your image has been running through Buck’s mind. You've become a challenge for him. But not in a bad way, he wanted to get to know you, he wanted to understand you. But you didn't make things any easier for him, especially when today was the first time he'd seen you laugh.

"You're drooling" he snapped back to reality when he heard Eddie mocking next to him.

"Shut up" Buck said, turning his gaze back to you playing with his niece.

You had a beauty he couldn't explain, an angelic one. You had this steely gaze and looking at you felt like suicide. He would fall to his knees if you asked him to. How could someone so delicate also be so dangerous?

The way you were reluctant to follow Bobby's orders, you'd walk into the fire without a second thought. You would take risks without thinking about your own safety, just thinking about everyone else. He saw how hard you worked, he saw how mad Bobby got when he ordered the building to be evacuated and you were always the last one to leave. You were intriguing and he was fascinated.

It was so strange for you. Being in Maddie's living room, with everyone gathered together like a big family, laughing and telling funny stories. The team met once a week, with all the families together, the children running around the living room, the smell of food in the air, the voices, the laughter.

You accepted the invitation after a few months of refusing, and now you spent the week looking forward to the moment when you would be together again.

Sometimes when you got home from a meeting, you cried. You cried because you never had that, you never had anyone who cared about you. You were an unexpected pregnancy, your parents didn't planned you, they didn't want you and that was never a secret to anyone.

And that's why you were surprised when one day you arrived early at the station and Hen had a cake for you that you had once said reminded of what your grandmother used to bake.

Or when another one Eddie handed you a drawing that Chris made specifically for you. Of the two of you playing together.

Or when Maddie sent you, through Chim, the cookies you said you loved one day while you were having coffee together.

Or when Bobby invited you to have lunch with him and Athena on a Sunday ‘cause he knew you were going to do it alone.

Or when Buck gave you a book he'd heard you say was your favorite during a conversation.

*

It was mid-afternoon on a Sunday. Your hands were shaking, your heart pounding. The words your father had once spoken echoed in your mind. "You will never be loved". But you were at a table with 118's entire family, and you felt loved. Maddie told you about the gossip from her work. Karen hugged you from the side every time you passed by her. Hen included you in every conversation. Athena calmly answered all the questions you were curious about her work. So why did you feel like an imposter? Why was your father's voice echoing inside your head? Why were you on the verge of an anxiety attack?

"I'll be right back" you muttered to the girls, but you realized how shaky your voice sounded. You were pathetic.

You barely made it to the bathroom, your legs buckled and you sat down in the corner of the room. You could hardly breathe, it was hard to pull in the air. Tears streamed down your face. Your heart was racing. Your hands were shaking.

You heard your voice being called from outside. Damn. You couldn't calm down, your hand was on your chest as if it could make the pain go away.

"Hey, hey. I'm here. Calm down, I’ve got you" it was Buck.

His voice was just a whisper in your ear. You let a sob escape your lips. Pathetic. You felt his arms around you, until you were all wrapped up in his arms. Why was he doing that? Why did he care?

He stayed there until you stopped crying. You were still in his arms, and it was so warm, so safe. Sighs came from your lips, and you couldn't imagine what a mess Buck's head and heart were in. He wanted you in his arms, not just now.

"I'm sorry," you whispered and tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let you, so you stayed.

"You don't have to talk about what's going on in there, but the day you feel like you need a hug to cry into, you've got mine" your eyes filled with tears again. "And don't ever apologize for it"

*

The smiles on your lips were becoming constant. And it was Buck's favorite image. You were letting people through your armor, you were letting your guard down, and it felt good. You now baked pies and cakes for the station on your days off, recipes learned from the girls after a few long afternoons of chatting and coffee.

Your laughter was contagious, and the boys would always crack little jokes to get them out of you.

Your eyes were now looking out for a pair of blue ones, all the time, everywhere. Eyes that were always looking back at you. Your hands were always looking for an excuse to bump into Buck's, just to feel that shiver run down your spine every time. And he would find any reason to text you, until the excuses became routine. You woke up every day with a good morning message and went to bed with a good night one. The little touches now became big gestures, Buck loved to brush your hair out of your face and tuck them behind your ear. And you loved to run your hand over the birthmark above his eye. You loved when his warm lips traveled up your neck to your lips. You loved when his hands ran over your body always so slowly and so gently, bringing goosebumps wherever they went. You loved making love with him. How he worshiped your body, how much he worshiped you. The way he made you feel loved.

You had a hold on Buck, and you didn't even know it. He had become attached to you, attached to the idea of having you by his side. The nights with you were the ones he could truly rest in, the mornings where he woke up to your soft kisses on his face, were the ones he would keep forever in his mind.

But he could feel that you were still resisting his feelings, and he was terrified of losing you. Buck was in love with you. It took months for him to realize that, but he did it. He loved you.

But one thing has never changed. And as Buck followed the loud murmurs coming from Bobby’s office, where he knew you were at, he kept in mind the danger you were in at every call. He couldn't lose you.

"Hey, what happe-" he couldn't finish the sentence when he saw you walking out the door, since you brushed past him, bumping into his shoulder, without even looking him in the face.

Buck made his way to the room, where he saw his captain wiping his hands across his face, letting out an exhausted sigh.

"She'll end up dead if she keep acting like this, Buck"

"I know"

"After the last call, if she doesn't change her behavior, I'll be forced to suspend her."

"I know."

Buck couldn't lose you.

You couldn't talk to Buck yet, you were so nervous after your conversation with Bobby. You were trying your best, how could he tell you that you had a death wish love? You were saving lives, and it didn't matter if it cost you your own. You didn't care.

A new call ecoed through the station. It was something big. A fire in a shed. People were working at the time, so there were many likely victims. You were anxious, just as you were before any call, but you were ready for it. You were born ready.

"Be careful," Buck told you before you got off the truck and you nodded. You were always careful "I love you"

You turned surprised to Buck, you'd never said that to each other before. It disconcerted you.

"Buck, I-"

Before you could say anything, you heard Bobby calling you to give instructions and you had to run.

I love you.

The words echoed in your head as you entered the burning building. No one had ever said that to you. You didn't even know the weight those words carried.

"Sir, follow this path and the fireman will take you to the exit."

It was so hot. You'd already lost count of how many people you'd pulled out of the line of fire. Your head was heavy. It was getting hard to breathe.

"Evacuate the building now," you could hear Cap saying over the radio. Everyone agreed and gave their location. You were about to respond when you heard something.

It was a call for help.

You could have sworn it was a call for help.

"Captain, I'm in the east side, I hear someone screaming for help. I'm close, I can get them out"

"Negative, the building will collapse at any moment. Get out immediately"

Your vision was blurred.

I love you.

You couldn't go out and leave those people to die, so you went ahead. The way to the door was difficult, there was a lot of rubble, and when you opened it, you froze in place.

It was empty. The fire danced in front of you, mocking you. But the cries for help... you've never been so wrong before.

I love you.

“It’s empty” you murmured at the radio.

Bobby was shouting your name from the other end of the radio. You turned around, but it was so hard to breathe. You tried to find your way back, but everything was spinning. Buck was now calling your name.

I love you.

His words were running through your head. Your steps were now slow. The way out, you couldn't find the way out. You could hear the fire laughing at you. Stupid. Pathetic. You heard an explosion behind you, and it threw you off balance, bringing you to the ground. You'd been walking through fire all your life, and now it would finally take its place back. Your siren buzzed in your ears. That would be the end of you.

I love you too, Buck.

The moment Buck came out of the building and didn't see you outside, he tried to go back. But hands held him in place.

This couldn't be happening. No, no.

Bobby called your name on the radio and you didn't answer. It's empty. That was the last answer they got. You weren't answering. An explosion. On the east side, where you were.

Buck's knees gave way, and he went down. All eyes were on the exit of the building waiting for you, waiting for a miracle. But it never came.

Buck screamed, and he would scream until his lungs gave up.

Time seemed to stop. Buck's screams were the only noise to be heard. And another explosion. Tears rolled down trough some faces. No one could believe it. This couldn't be happening.

Buck couldn't lose you like this.

"We found her" some voice echoed over the radio.

Buck's heart could stop any second now.

But the building was collapsing.

He broke free from his friends and ran into the building, dodging all the fallen and burnt obstacles, and he saw you. You were in the arms of a fireman. He ran up to you and carried you out of the building. As soon as you stepped onto the sidewalk, the building collapsed. Buck held you in his arms with all his strength and ran, feeling the debris fly past you.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" was the first thing that came out of your lips when he put you on the stretcher and he shut you up, pressing his lips to yours.

Buck analyzed each of your wounds alongside Hen and Chim and you could see the tears streaming down Buck's face, the ones that were also streaming down your own.

You were still struggling to breathe, every inch of your body ached, and you felt on the verge of losing consciousness. Until you succumbed to the darkness that was calling your name.

*

You woke up a few hours later in hospital. Your hands were being squeezed and you could feel something wet running down over them. Tears.

Buck had his face in your hands, he had never felt so afraid before. And when he heard your voice calling him, it was as if he could finally breathe.

"I'm sorry, Buck, I-I don't know what happened-"

"I almost lost you today"

Your heart broke into a million pieces. You did this to him, your recklessness, your impulsive behavior. It was your fault.

"I'm sorry"

Tears were now streaming down your face and he moved closer, running his hands gently down your cheeks.

"I was terrified of losing you. I'd die if I do."

"I would never leave you"

"Promise?"

"I love you, Buck. And I'll love you to death"

"Please don't let it be soon"

You smiled. No one had ever loved you like that.

"It won't."

[notinmyvocab]

Swing Set

This has been sitting in my drafts for months. I'm probably never going to finish it so here ya go!

Your partner wants to try something new. You're not entirely thrilled. Olivia Benson is undercover the same night.

Olivia Benson x fem!reader, takes place during 12x19

The smell of the place made your head hurt. Too many perfumes mixed together, trying in vain to cover the scent of sex.

This was supposed to be exciting. And at first it was fun. Getting ready had been fun. Actually spending time on your hair, and using glittery makeup that you don't get to wear to work, and a fun outfit. Maybe if you had gone to a regular club, you would be having fun.

Instead, you were here, sitting in the corner while your partner was... you didn't know where. Surprisingly, you weren't jealous. This was what they wanted, and knowing that they were happy did actually make you happy.

That didn't mean it didn't hurt.

Apparently you weren't enough. Apparently you weren't exciting.

Okay, maybe you were jealous.

You downed the last of your club soda and went to get a refill. Alcohol would've soothed your soul, but the last thing you wanted was to be out of it in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces because your one familiar face was nowhere to be found.

"Club soda."

You weren't the one who placed the order. It was a woman taller than you in a leopard print sleeveless dress. She was... different. There was an air of uncertainty around her, but it was misplaced. It seemed almost fake, very unlike your own uncertainty.

"Same," you told the bartender.

As he turned to grab two glasses, you glanced over to the woman when you felt her eyes on you. Was she checking you out? No, the look was a touch more inquisitive.

"First time?" you asked as the bartender handed over both of your sodas.

"That obvious?" she chuckled. She took the slice of lime from the rim of the glass and squeezed the juice into her soda.

"My first time too," you admitted. "Partner kinda convinced me to come."

"And where's your partner now?"

"Wish I could say."

The woman's brow furrowed. "You get all dressed up to go out together and you end up alone? Doesn't seem like much of a night out."

No, it didn't. You definitely couldn't argue with that. "And what about you?" you asked. "Just decided to do something nuts and come to a swing club by yourself?"

[withwritersblock]

Room For Two

~ROOM FOR 2 by Benson Boone~

Author's Note: requested, also I love Ross Colton Summary: Ross tells his girlfriend where he gets traded to Warnings: none Word Count: 1,130 Ross Colton x fm!reader

He was told a couple weeks prior to the playoffs that there was a low chance that he would be given a contract with the Lightning. He still held out hope that he would get to stay with the team he won a Stanley Cup with. He loved living in Tampa, he met his girlfriend here. 

He wanted nothing more than to stay with the Lightning but the management had other plans. They decided that he would not get a contract and that he would be traded. He wasn’t going into free agency like he thought. It was something he had discussed with his girlfriend a lot. They had been together for two years and he hated the idea of long distance. 

Except that was the plan in her mind. She grew up in Tampa and had no plans on leaving. Ross felt his heart shatter when she said she wouldn’t want to go with him. 

Now, here he was staring at the call from the general manager of the Lightning. He took a deep breath as he brought his phone towards his ear. He leaned forward, destined his one arm on his knee. 

“Hello?” he let out barely above a whisper.

“Hi Ross, we’ve come to the decision and you’ve been traded to Colorado,” he let out.

Ross nearly laughed. Is that a joke? It was a team that he swore Tampa would never make a trade with. 

“Okay, thank you for everything,” he let out, his voice cracking as he spoke. 

They shared some more pleasantries before Ross hung up the phone. He slowly leaned back against the couch. He felt like he was just thrown away. Like three years meant nothing. 

It wasn’t so bad, a team wanted him. A really good team. A team that beat him in the Stanley Cup finals. The sadness coursing through his veins slowly dissipated as the thought of going to another good time. A great team. 

After a few seconds, his phone started to ring again. It was an unfamiliar number and a Denver area code. He took a deep breath as he answered the call. It was the general manager of Colorado.

“Hi Ross, this is Chris MacFarland the general manager of Colorado. How’s it going?” he asked. Ross smiled.

“I’m feeling great,” he let out, a chuckle leaving his throat. He meant it. Hearing the general manager’s voice be excited to talk to him, meant it was a good plan. 

“That’s great. We are really excited to have you come to Colorado, we want to get a contract set as soon as possible,” he expressed. 

They spoke on the phone for another hour about the aspects of what he would like in a contract and what would be best for both parties. Chris was ecstatic that Ross wanted a longer contract. Ross was happy that he was going to a place that wanted him. 

After the hour was complete, Chris offered him a four-year-deal. “I’m going to talk to some of my family but I don’t see how this can’t work. Thank you for this,” Ross expressed.

“Take your time, can’t wait to see you in Colorado,” Chris let out before he hung up the phone. 

Ross slowly pulled the phone from his ear, a grin wide on his features. They wanted him. It felt so right and so good to go play for a team that was good and had the chance to lift the cup. 

He watched the Avs lift the cup, he wanted to wear the A and lift the cup with them. 

A knock rang throughout the apartment, he smiled. “It’s unlocked!” he shouted as he stood up from the couch. Y/N stepped inside, a soft smile on her lips. Ross excitedly walked towards her. He hugged her tightly.

“Good news then?” she let out against his chest. 

His smile faltered slightly as he pulled away. He clenched his jaw while he waved his hand back and forth. “Sorta?” he said as he held his hand towards her. She gladly took a hold of it as he guided her towards his couch. 

“Oh no,” she mumbled as he rested his hands onto her hips, turning her towards him. She scanned his features, admiring the small smile on his lips. 

He was happy. She had to accept that he was content with what was going on. “Where are you heading, my love?” she mumbled as she avoided his gaze. He scanned her features, watching the tears fill her eyes. 

He took a deep breath, “Colorado,” he mumbled. Her eyes widened as she let out a dry chuckle. He bit his bottom lip. “That was my reaction too,” he said fighting off a grin. She shook her head as she clenched her jaw. 

“They want to sign me for four years, that’s amazing right?” he said as his voice cracked. 

She remained silent as she met his light eyes. There was not a hint of sadness in his gaze, it felt like a stab in the chest. How could she let him go alone? She’s never seen snow, maybe now is her chance. Her lips began to quiver as her heart began to beat fast. She blinked as a tear fell onto her cheek. 

“I guess we are apartment hunting then?” she mumbled out. His eyes widened as his lips curled upward slowly. 

“We?” he asked, hopeful. 

She nodded as she continued looking deeply into his light eyes, “I’ve always wanted to see snow,” she mumbled. He smiled so wide as he quickly wrapped his arms around her. She giggled as she pressed her face against his chest, surrounding herself with his cologne. A smell she was afraid she would lose forever. 

“You’re coming with me?” he let out as his voice cracked. He was shocked. He had spent several weeks trying to convince her. 

“I thought-” she mumbled as she pulled away from his chest. She rested her hands on the base of his neck. He scanned her features. “I thought I would be okay with you going and me staying but-” she paused as she looked into his eyes for a few beats, “I can’t imagine spending years apart,” she let out. He nodded as he leaned towards her, kissing her urgently. 

“Are you sure? I-I mean you’ve wanted long distance-” he rambled but Y/N cut him off by kissing him again. She ran her fingers through his hair. 

“I want to be with you,” she mumbled against his lips, “Even if it means I have to root for the Avs,” she whispered. He chuckled as he pulled her against his chest. 

“You’ll get used to it,” he let out teasingly as he pressed his lips against the side of her head.

[drghostwrite]

Something to Fight for…

Pairing: Olivia Benson x reader

Summary: Tricia is a nurse who lost her license, she ran an underground ring and would kill the girl’s that got pregnant. Captain Olivia Benson and her team caught this killer and took everything but after a good lawyer comes around and releases her she goes after what Olivia loves most, and that means you(her wife) and your unborn baby.

******************************************************** “My phone!” You turned back towards your bedroom knowing you forgot something.

You saw it laying on Olivia’s side of the bed and went around to grab it, catching a glimpse of yourself in your bedroom mirror. You stopped running a hand over you 30 week bump, you felt your baby push a foot against your hand.

“A month and a half, and we finally get to meet you baby girl.” You felt another kick, you could hear Olivia in your head saying but wait we don’t know that yet, and Noah cheering about wanting a brother. One thing was you were so happy about having the baby that you didn’t care as long as it was healthy but you had a feeling, you always had a feeling.

Your phone started ringing and you quickly answered, “Hey Gina what’s up?”

“Not much, just checking in your assistant said you weren’t in yet and you do have that appraisal in 30 minutes.”

“Oh I knew I forgot something,” you scrambled and heard her laugh on the other end.

“I knew it, blame it on the hormones!”

“Girl I’ll be there in 20!”

“sounds good.” You heard the dial tone of her hanging up and you raced to grab your bag and keys. You heard your phone ringing again and answered not looking placing it between your shoulder and ear running out of the house.

“Girl I said I’ll be there in 20 I won’t be late, just prep everything for court later.”

“Y/N?” You heard Olivia’s voice. “Tell me you’re gonna be late.” She chuckled.

“Liv!” You whined, “I told you.”

“No, I recall you moaning my name this morning and asking me to stay.”

“Ugh, you’re not wrong.”

“I just wanted to call and check in, I was gonna swing by the office and see how my girls are doing.”

“your girls?” You poked with a smirk.

“what can I say it’s growing on me.”

“Well… I mean…” suddenly you felt a pinch turning you saw someone behind you, Olivia said something on the phone but it all went blurry and you felt an arm come around you and your bump.

Y/N, Y/N, love what’s going on? that’s the last thing you remember hearing before it all went black.

——— time jump———

You heard someone shuffling around and you tried opening your eyes but you felt drowsy, that was until you felt a hand ghost along your pregnant belly and then a sharp pain, a scalpel slid across the taught skin.

“Stop!” You groaned out.

You were propped against pillows supporting your back, you tried to reach out but your hands were tied to the bed rail you pulled the unrelenting restraints, something cold tapped your arm you looked up to see an IV bag hanging the tube hooked into the crease of your arm, you tried to kick but she sat next to your hip it wouldn’t be any use. You took in the woman before you about your height, and you were on the taller side only two inches shorter than Liv, she had fit features, brown eyes and dark raven hair.

“Whaa… what’s going on who are you?” You strained against the bed frame.

“Hmm funny you don’t know who I am, do you?”

“Should I?”

“Oh darling see I was one of your wife’s biggest cases, she took everything from me. I had a nursing career and a good operation going and all the sudden gone.” She ran fingers along you belly, you watched the scalpel in her other hand propped on her thigh, you winced at a slight cramp feeling but brushed it off.

“See I ran an underground refuge for girls that got pregnant, they could come have their babies, I would help with deliveries and then we would put them up for adoption.”

“You killed all those poor girls.” A tear escaped you eye.

“Hmm see that’s a harsh term more like released or set free. It was good for awhile but in comes Captain Benson and the SVU to save the day. They put me in prison and destroyed everything.”

“Sounds like y… yo… Oh God!” You felt a contraction roll through your body. You watched her reaction as you tried breathing, “wha… what’s happening?”

“Well you see that IV in your arm, that’s pitocin made to induce labor quickly, I figured it would be helpful.”

“why are you doing this?” You felt another contraction, wincing and pulling against the ties on your wrist.

“I lost everything, my baby, my dream job, my life all because of your wife so I’m going to take what she values most.”

“No, no you can’t, please you can’t…” you begged another contraction coming on, this one caught you off guard and you gasped as you felt liquid between your thighs.

You felt her place her hands under you thighs pulling them up, “Well there goes your water only a matter of time now.” As you fought through another contraction you saw as she quickly left coming back in scrubs, she put on gloves, and you heard the sounds of metal assuming it was other instruments. She came back scalpel in hand, she ran her fingers over the long slice from earlier the blood on her finger. “See this? If you try to fight or escape I will cut this baby out of you, understand?” You slowly nodded.

———time jump———

You felt two hands forcing your knees apart, “ Please you can’t do this.” You begged tears rolling down your face, sweet coated your strained features and hair stuck to your face, you fought the pressure, the urge to push unbearable.

“Push Y/N.”

“It burns so bad.”

“It’s because you’re crowning, now push.”

“I can’t it’s too early.”

“Push dammit, if you don’t you both die.”

“I…” you screamed another contraction coming over you, you pushed feeling the baby shift down. You glanced over her shoulder seeing slight movement as she was focused between your legs. It was Sonny and that meant Fin and Olivia weren’t far behind. You felt relief, until another contraction came and you pushed again. You heard Sonny call out and then a gunshot, hearing a thud and then heels quickly enter. You felt a hand on your cheek and someone’s forehead met yours, you opened your eyes to be met with Olivia you let out heavy breaths as tears fell between you, she pulled away.

“You’re safe I got you.”

“Liv, I…” another contraction interrupted the small moment and fear entered her eyes, she quickly undid your hands pulling out the IV, she tried to move you.

“babe we have to get you to the hospital.” She urged.

“no, no time, she’s coming, this baby is coming.” You groaned through another contraction.

“um okay, okay” she looked around, “Amanda!” She called out, and the blonde agent came right in, the sight before her was wild, you propped on pillows legs up on the bed fighting a contraction, Olivia next to you walking you through it.

“Liv?”

“I need your help.” Olivia said meeting her eyes.

“I see that” she came closer to you rubbing a hand on your leg.

“Look we can’t move her.”

“so you want me to do what?”

“deliver this baby,” you spoke up through gritted teeth, “those boys aren’t coming near me like this, all you have to do is catch.”

“Um, what, no… I, no Liv , I can’t.” She protested

“Please for me.” Olivia pleaded, as you let out another moan, Amanda thought and then quickly agreed. You heard Olivia then yell to Fin telling him to get paramedics there quickly, Sonny kept other rookies and cops out of the house.

You pushed as Olivia and Amanda cheered you on, “wait Y/N wait.”

“what… what’s wrong?”

“I think it’s just the cord, just let me check.” You threw your head back trying not to push on this next contraction and what you didn’t see was the hand she held up for your wife to see, fingers coated in dark red blood. Olivia’s face shifted from excitement and worry to stone cold and you could sense something was up by the way her muscles tensed.

“what’s wrong?” You said between breaths.

“I…” Olivia sat unmoving a tear escaped her eye, she can’t lose you or this baby, she wouldn’t be able to live.

“Y/N there’s a lot of blood.” Amanda explained.

“Is the baby okay though?”

“Y/N” Olivia tried to reason.

“Amanda is my baby okay?”

“I…I think so but I can’t be sure.”

You nodded and pushed with the next contraction, you felt the head fully out and then shoulders before you knew it Olivia was holding your new baby. Paramedics rushed in and started with you pushing Olivia and the baby away, they quickly got you in an ambulance, Olivia and the baby coming with you.

“boy or girl?” You asked pulling down the oxygen mask.

“girl” she answered as she watched you fight the urge to pass out, paramedics trying to give you blood and check you out. Tears fell down her cheeks, as she held your baby.

———time jump———

Four hours later you were safe and sound in the hospital room, you felt a pressure on you left hand and looked, there was you wife’s hand in yours head resting on your arm.

“Liv?” You watched as she slowly lifted her tear stained face and looked at you, she realized you were awake and quickly pulled you into a kiss.

“I was so scared.”

“I know babe, I was to.”

“Oh God Y/N I can’t lose you.”

“Olivia Benson, I’m not going anywhere that easily.”

[vivaciousoceans]

My UPDATED Law & Order: SVU A.D.A ranking:

Last time my criteria was 1) Whatever ADA I could remember and 2) Who ever I liked more. This time I’m going to be a little more objective (just barely). I will be judging off of 1) Tenure 2) Conviction Rate 3) Likeability and 4) Legacy, not in any particular order of importance.

15: Michael Cutter - He was from the mother show which I didn’t watch, and he’s very unmemorable in SVU because he only appeared in 4 episodes. I do remember him only getting moved to Sex Crimes as a punishment for lying about having a bachelors degree to both the DA’s office and the New York bar, but of course he didn’t get disbarred.

14: Sherri West - She was a decent prosecutor, she never did anything explicitly wrong. She just wasn’t particularly memorable, except for the fact that she stopped being a prosecutor in order to have more money for her "shoe fetish", which is just odd, in my opinion. She only appeared in 4 episodes as and ADA, so that’s why she gets second to last place.

13: Mikka Von - She was so fine I wish I could put her higher. She only appeared in one episode, but she won her case by being crafty. Her little flirtation with Fin was cute, Fin deserves some eye candy after dealing with the tension between Benson and Stabler for years. I wish she’d gotten a few more episodes to really cement a legacy for herself, but alas.

12: Kim Greylek - If she had appeared in more than 13 episodes, I would be willing to put her higher because she had the makings of a great A.D.A. She had the experience working with abused women, she was tough, but she wasn’t likeable in the slightest. I think she felt like she had to be this ball buster because of what happened to Casey after working with SVU, but she was just rude. She even threw shade at Casey, which was just not a good look.

11: David Haden - The dilf who chose his job over a relationship with Olivia Benson. He was like one of the finest men Liv allowed herself to date, and he broke it off with her for a job he resigned from a year later. The only reason he isn’t lower is because he was a decent attorney. He only appeared in 4 episodes though.

10: Peter Stone - Where do I start with Peter? Well 1) He tried to convict Rafael Barba, 2) He tried to play daddy to Noah, and 3) He plagiarized Barba’s whole exit after only knowing Liv for what? Two years? He wasn’t a bad lawyer, he was actually decent, he just went through a lot of personal stuff, and he wasn’t as willing as other ADA’s to do what needed to be done in a unit like SVU. I’m reserving the right to be biased towards him, despite everything he went through.

9: Abbie Carmichael - She was also from the mother show, which again I didn’t watch. She’s only this high because she didn’t do anything egregious, worked well with the detectives, and Angie Harmon is pretty. She only appeared in 4 episodes.

8: Jo Marlowe - Stablers ex-partner, played by the incomparable Sharon Stone. Part of the reason she is so high is because of her legacy, she just came in and had such a strong backstory which we don’t get a lot for ADA’s. She also alluded to having an affair with Elliot, which makes me especially happy because I don’t like Elliot. She was only in 4 episodes, but she delivered in every scene.

7: Gillian Hardwicke - I didn’t put her on my last ranking list which was just an oversight on my part. She was a really good prosecutor, and that wasn’t easy for the cases she tried. She had a 92% conviction rate and kept being handed cases that were complicated. Her empathy for the victims, and her drive for justice was refreshing. I enjoyed her short, 10 episode long run.

6: Sonya Paxton - I am a Sonya Paxton stan. She had her issues, with alcoholism, being a pain in the ass, but she wasn’t afraid to go toe to toe with Elliot Stabler. I hated her death, I wish she would’ve had more than 7 episodes, but I truly think that dying so a victim could receive justice, was the best send off for her character. That’s a legacy that can’t be easily forgotten, which is why she’s so high.

5: Dominick Carisi Jr. - Detective Sonny was my sweet baby angel, but I haven’t watched many seasons where he was ADA, and what I did watch left much to be desired. That being said, his experience at SVU, combined with his mentorship from Rafael Barba, makes him an empathetic prosecutor with great courtroom presence.

4: Elizabeth Donnelly - Coming in at number 4, Liz is a force to be reckoned with. She mentored Alex Cabot and to a certain extent Casey Novak. She fought her way to the top after experiencing a major setback as a woman attorney, that could’ve very easily ruined her career. She was empathetic when she needed to be, tougher when she didn’t need to be. She was a great supervisor and her legacy can’t be forgotten.

3: Alexandra Cabot - Her legacy, her conviction rate, her likeablity, her chemistry with the detectives, none of it can be denied. She was the first permanent ADA and is still a fan favorite for many. She’s strong in her convictions, she’s strong in her values, even if that means bending the law to get true justice. Alex just is that girl in all areas of life, and the only reason she’s at number 3 is because she leaned on her nepotism a little.

2: Rafael Barba - A feminist icon, a political landmine, and the smuggest ADA to exist. He took the cases that no one would touch with a 10-foot pole, and even if he didn’t win them, he made a difference. If he was a real lawyer, he would be studied for his impact on case law. He is very theatrical in court, especially when it comes to cross examinations, he is a shark when it comes to closing statements. He was the longest serving ADA SVU ever had and that takes big brass ego. He knew the law like the back of his hand, and talked a mile a minute, what more could you want? The only reason he’s number 2 is because of his conviction rate.

1: Casey Novak - She was insane, unhinged and insane. There’s no other way to describe her run as a prosecutor. She took on major political cases only to seek justice. She went after a sitting judge, the US Military, and pharmaceutical companies. She was empathetic and sympathetic when she felt like she wasn’t on the side of justice. She had no qualms throwing cases where she knew her win would be the opposite of justice, and she risked disbarment to get justice for a victim. I can truly say she deserves this number 1 spot because of her conviction rate, her legacy, tenure, and likeability.

[ohtobeleah]

Clover Club // Robert Floyd

Summary: After a near fatal accident, Bob comes face to face with the reality that time really is fleeting. Deciding that taking the leap to love you while he has the change is better than to not have had the chance at all.

Warnings: Robert Floyd x Reader. Mickey Garcia x Stepsister!reader. Depictions of injuries sustained from a serious car accident. ANGST! & a lil bit of fluff.

Word Count: 8.3k

Author Note: I don’t wanna hear shit about this one. This is 100% Whump. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m sick in the head—but this entire concept was inspired by Claire’s accident in McLeods Daughter’s. If you aren’t Australian and haven’t seen it just look it up on YouTube. SAD BOI HOUR. Also: this also serves as a milestone post—thanks for the 2k following.

Bob hated his birthday. He had for three years. Not because he didn't like presents or because he didn't like cake. It wasn't because he did have friends and family who would celebrate with him each and every year that passed. It wasn't because he was a lonely person or someone who didn't mind the day being about him.

It was because it served as a memory of the women he lost. A memory he could never ever forget even if he tried. How could he? Reaching out across his bed to be met with emptiness– Bob opened his eyes with a long drawn out yawn. Looking around the bedroom to be met with just himself. Sitting up, Bob threw his legs over the side of the bed. Noticing the date on the alarm clock that sat on his bedside table.

His Birthday–

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Three years earlier

“This is just perfect, he’s gonna be thrilled—“ Rooster placed his hands on your shoulders excitedly as he shook you slightly. Standing behind you as he admired the birthday decorations that you’d worked hard to hang up around the entirety of the Hard Deck. Fairy lights and birthday streamers. Helium balloons in all different colours, and the birthday banner that read Happy Birthday Bob. “Bobs gonna love it.”

“You think so?” Rooster thought that you and Bob should have gotten together a long time ago. He thought you were two of the best people he knew and the undeniable chemistry you two both gave off whenever you were left alone to your own devices together just seemed like a perfect match. But that was just his opinion. The matter of fact was you and Robert Floyd weren’t even dating. It was more of a situationship than anything else. A blooming romance that enjoyed taking its sweet sweet time developing. “I just hope it’s not too much.” Planning Bob a surprise party for Bob’s birthday wasn’t something you thought you’d ever do, but it had been fun nonetheless.

“No, this?” Rooster questioned as he jumped over the bar, working quickly to pour himself a glass of beer from the tap. “It’s perfect.” Snatching the schooner from Rooster's hand before he could take a sip, you sent him a warning glare. Having followed him right around the bar before he could get too comfortable.

“Penny doesn’t like it when you flyboys come behind the bar—“ You reminded him, watching as Rooster rolled his eyes and slumped his shoulders in defeat. Trudging along as he went to sit at a barstool. “I need to pick up Mickey from the airport and stop by Bensons to get the cake. Can you finish getting this place all decked out before the birthday boy arrives?” You wouldn’t consider yourself a hard task master. Simply a bartender who had a thing for the big eyed bigger soul weapons systems officer who’d always given you the time of day. But with the way Bradley Bradshaw was looking at you like you’d just asked him to cut off his own arm—perhaps a hard task master was more appropriate. “Rooster—?”

“Two on the house beers and a bowl of fries and you got yourself a deal.” Rooster beamed as he leaned on the bar. His elbows pressed against oak as you looked at him dumbfounded.

“On the house just means out of my paycheck you jerk!” Sighing as you fished your keys from your back pocket. “But fine, whatever—I really don’t have time to argue.” Stepping out from behind the bar you threw Rooster the keys to the bar. It wasn’t yet open for patrons. “Don’t do anything stupid till I get back.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Rooster shouted back as you raced out the door. Looking at your watch you had about an hour and a half to get Mickey and Bobs birthday cake before meeting Rooster and the rest of the TopGun gang back at Hard Deck. You’d planned everything perfectly, even reached out to Bob's family. His hometown friends, everyone who was important to him. “Drive safe!”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“So, are you and Bob a thing yet?” Mickey Garcia had been in your life since you were about five years old. His mother had been dating your father and as the years went on? He became your step brother. Officially. “I mean—if you’re planning the guy a whole ass birthday I think you should at least make a move don’t you think?” Mickey had been visiting your parents in Seattle on his annual leave, coming back just in time to make it for Bob's birthday.

“I’m pretty content just waiting in the shallow end.” You’d been hurt before. Pretty bad as a matter of fact. Driving back towards the Hard Deck with precious cargo in the back seat. Bob's birthday cake—the massive three layer sponge cake with fresh cream and white chocolate caramel. “We have time, I’m just trying not to get too involved, I mean—I think he might be interested. But I also just don’t wanna get my hopes up. And I’ve already told everyone to say it was you.”

“Me! I haven’t even been here!” Mickey laughed to himself in disbelief. “Bob is gonna know straight away that this was all you.” Mickey was probably right, but you weren’t about to put yourself out there like that. Not when you weren’t entirely sure where you stood. Sure, you’d really like to be exclusive? If that’s what you’d even call it. There’s been a handful of dates, a few moments where eye’s lingered and lips almost connected. But maybe Bob just wasn’t in it. Or maybe you were reading too much into it to begin with. “Besides, he’s different. I don’t think Bob would ever hurt you, not like—“

“Mickey—“ Cutting off your brother with a sigh, you shook your head softly as you drove down the road. “You don’t need to bring him up.” Your ex boyfriend had been that bad, that when you finally managed to get away all you took were the clothes on your back. Mickey was the whole reason you ended up in Miramar—when he’d found out that the daggers were staying as a specialist unit, he hooked you up with a job working for Penny. Keeping you close by surrounded by people who’d always protect you. He never expected you’d stay on your own accord. That accord being one Robert Floyd.

“All I’m saying is Bob is good people, he does like you, talks about you all the time to anyone who falls victim to it.” That made your heart skip a beat. You hadn’t really felt this way about someone since high school. It felt childish—but in the best of ways. “Maybe just try to get him to yourself tonight?”

“Can’t, working behind the bar—“ It wasn’t uncommon for you to get side tracked talking to Bob as you cleaned tables and collected discarded glasses. Although you knew Bob wasn’t a drinker, he was one of the only few you’d ever bring a fresh glass to every so often. His order always the same every time. Lemonade with lots of ice, lime wedge on top.

“That has never stopped you before.” Mickey taunted as he looked down at his phone. “It’s beyond me how anyone actually gets a drink whenever you’re working and Bobs in the building.” You couldn’t help but to laugh with Mickey as you felt your cheeks heating at the embarrassment. The smitten kind of embarrassment. “You’re like a moth drawn to a flame—“

“I’ll drop you on the side of the road if yo—“ In an instant, what had been a simple drive back to the Hard Deck as the sun set, turned into a horrific scene of twisted aluminium and bloody bodies.

“WATCH OUT!!” It came out of nowhere, leaving you with little to no time to react more than slamming your foot down on the break. Only to be completely cleaned up by the car coming at you at what felt like the speed of goddamn light. The sound of tires screeching and glass shattering rang through your head as airbags did the best they could to stop your head from smacking violently against whatever part of your car you were thrown against as you rolled and rolled and rolled. Your car ended up at the bottom of the embankment just a five minute drive from the Hard Deck. If you looked close enough with your eyes squinted slightly, you could see it. The lights that had begun to glow a people that looked the size of ants swarmed in.

“Mickey?” You cried as you tried to move. Trapped. “Mickey you there?” There was no response as you listened closely for something, anything to give you a sign of life. Nothing. “Oh, oh god—“ Panic set in quickly as you felt yourself disappearing, the edge of darkness threatening to take you victim as your head spun and eyes rolled. Blood dripped from your mouth. The last thing you consciously remember thinking before coming to a complete stop was the cake sitting in the back seat. The car kept slipping down the embankment, slowly but surely creeping further and further away from the line of sight of oncoming cars. There’s no way it survived. Dizzy and feeling like you were hanging from the roof, you let the taste of iron consume you. Tired, you just needed to close your eyes for abit.

***~***~***~***~***~***~

Bob had the slightest inkling that you had been up to something. He just wasn’t entirely sure what that something was. But as he came through the front doors of the Hard Deck and was taken aback by all the decorations, the balloons, the birthday banner that read Happy Birthday Bob. He knew in that moment you were behind this entire get together.

“SURPRISE!!!” Everyone in the entire bar cheered and shouted as Bob looked around at all his friends and family that had all come together to celebrate his birthday. It wasn’t something he did every year. Not one big on birthday celebrations. But as he looked around—his eyes scanning the entirety of the bar, looking amongst a sea of people? How could Bob not love his birthday even for a moment. You’d done this all for him he knew that the second he saw the specific way the streamers were twisted. But where on earth were you?

“Happy Birthday man, how’s it feeling huh? Another year older?” Hangman teased as he handed Bob a birthday hat. Something childish alright but it kept with the theme. Bob Accepted it with a smile and nodded in response as he tried to hide the blush creeping over his cheeks.

“Feels good—yeah, hey have you seen Clov?”

“Is she not behind the bar?” Jake responded with a questioning brow. If you weren’t here where the fuck were you? “Ah well, she can’t be too far away right?”

“No, yeah no I guess you’re probably right.” Bob tried to shake the almost gut wrenching feeling he had. Checking his phone to see if you’d messaged him, if he’d missed a call. The last text you sent being the one you sent him on his lunch break—reminding him to arrive on time. Sending you a quick message asking where you were before joining in on the festivities the best he could.

***~***~***~***~***~***~

It was the smell of gasoline and burning rubber that broke Mickey Garcia out of his unconscious state. His first instinct was to unclip his seatbelt which had him hurtling towards the roof of the car that had somehow become the floor. With a groan, he crawled out of the broken passenger side window—army crawling his way along the dirt and grass that shattered glass had covered without a rhyme or reason.

Laying on his back, Mickey closed his eyes as dry blood covered his face. A deep gash still dripped fresh blood down the left side of his cheek. He could feel it dripping.

“Fuck—“ His torso hurt from where the seatbelt had locked up against him. Probably the only thing besides the airbags that saved his life. “What the hell—?” It shouldn’t have come as an afterthought but it did. “Oh fuck, hey—Clover!” Scrambling to his feet, stumbling as he held his hand to his torso, Mickey crouched down near your window. “Clover can you hear me?” It wasn’t your name, Clover. More so of a designated call sign the resident Aviators you surround yourself with had given you. You’d brought the cocktail with you when you started at the Hard Deck. Asked Penny if you could redo the cocktail menu. A Clover Club had quickly become the special. The mix of raspberry, gin and egg whites winning over the crew who seemed to take you under their wing. “Clover, hey—!” It looked like the scene from Carrie, the one where blood was just dumped over her entire being. Your seatbelt doing God’s work holding you into your chair upside down. Unconscious.

“Help!” Mickey could smell the gasoline leaking from somewhere close to him, so close and so strong it burnt the hair in his nose. “Help me–!” A voice so panicked sent shivers down Mickey's spine as he turned to see the other car. The one who had hit you, the one that had come out of absolute nowhere at a million miles and hour. “Please–” Checking your pulse carefully and as gently as he could, Mickey left you for much longer than he liked as he raced across to the other car, the man trying to claw his way out of the driver's side window. glass cut and dug into his skin as he fell to the ground. Bloodied, broken and bruised.

“You alright?”

“Does it fucking look like i’m alright! You guys hit me!?” Mickey couldn't believe what he was hearing, he did his best to assess the man as he kneeled beside him. “What the hell even happened.” Without question, Mickey knew the man was drunk. He could smell it just as prominently as he could smell the leaking gasoline.

“Okay, we need to get some help out here.” Looking around Mickey could see the Dard Deck just off in the distance. He could run it if he really needed to. Where was his phone? Patting himself down he realised it must have gone flying in the wreck somewhere. “Do you have a phone sir?”

“I did, somewhere, I was arguing with my wife.” Fucking perfect. A double whammy if there ever was one. Drunk and using his mobile. With a throbbing head and a weak constitution for blood, Mickey stood to his feet, making his way back to you. Just in time too, you were coming back to him. Squeezing your hand to gain your attention, Mickey crawled slightly into the car. Assessing if he should hit your seatbelt buckle or not.

“Mickey?” It came out so soft. Barley even audible as you came to. “What–what's going on?” Trying his best to keep you as calm as possible, Mickey sent you a soft smile. Looking up at you as you looked down at him. Blood dripping everywhere.

“Just had a bit of an accident–” Mickey squeezed your hand as he shimmied further into the car along broken glass. “But I feel like we should try and get you out of here, I'm not a big fan of the smell coming from the engine Clov.”

“Oh god, Bob–” It actually pained him to hear you say it. “It’s his birthday, the cake.”

“They’ll be other cakes Clover, but not another you alright?” Trying to keep his voice as calm as he could, Mickey's heart sunk into his chest. Your legs had been jammed up under the steering wheel column. Jagged edges of plastic from your dash stuck into your thighs, ripping them apart like no tomorrow. So deep he wore he saw bone. “How are you feeling?”

“Been better.” Coughing slightly, blood bubbled up forcing you to cough a little more aggressively. “Im so sorry Mic–”

“Not your fault at all.” Mickey was trying his best to keep himself together as he tried to look for his phone, to no avail. “But I do have to go get help so I can get you outta here.” It was almost as if you’d just woken up and realised what was actually going on. Because the minute you felt Mickey slightly pull his hand away from out of your grasp, you panicked. Tears fell with the gravity of being trapped upside down.

“No no no, don't leave me.” Begging as you cried, trying to unbuckle your seatbelt. It had become jammed from the impact. “Mickey don't you leave me here to die, please–please don't leave me.”

“Clov I can’t not get help.” Mickey tried his best to convince you, but you weren't having a bar of it. Clawing at your seatbelt trying to set yourself free as your steering wheel column dug deeper and deeper into your thighs. “Clover stop!” Mickey tried his best to still you, your hair caked with blood as he held you still. He assumed that there was so much adrenaline pumping through your veins that you couldn’t feel the damage being done to your legs. Either that or shock. “You’re stuck, please don’t make it worse by moving—“

“Get me out Mick—“ It was the worst kind of plea for help because Mickey Garcia was in over his head. He didn’t know what to do. On one hand he could find a way, but the damage he could do in the process might outweigh the cost of setting you free. On the other hand? He leaves you here to get help, what if you weren’t to make it? How could he ever live with himself? “I’m serious, get me out!” Screaming at the top of your lungs as you tried with all your might to free yourself.

“Hey shh, shh—listen?” Mickey looked around the roof of the car which had become the floor, your phone lit up across the other side. With his emotions running wild as he tried to reach it Mickey groaned. It was Rooster trying to get a hold of you. “Shit, I can’t get to it.” Just as Mickey was reaching for your phone it stopped ringing out—a loud overpowering explosion consuming you both entirely. Sending the car rolling over a little more down the embankment. Mickey had smacked his head as the car rolled, rendering him unconscious as you laid pressed against the steering wheel still trapped.

“Mickey?” It hurt to breathe. “Mickey!?” It hurt to speak. “MICKEY!” You didn’t know what had happened—what had caused the car to shift again. To roll over. Whatever blood had rushed to your head while you had been upside down was now pumping back through the rest of your body.

And fuck did it hurt.

Rooster stood on the front porch of the Hard Deck biting his cuticle as he listened to your voicemail for the third time. Where the hell were you? You should have been back by now? By a while.

“Dude? Where’s Clover? I thought she was the one who set this whole thing up?” Jake questioned as he came to stand with Rooster, picking up on the decorated pilot's worry.

“Should’ve been back by now.” As Rooster clicked on your contact once again—Jake jumped slightly beside him at the explosive fireball that shot up in the near distance. Just down the road.

“Holy shit what the hell was that?”

“Whatever it was, it can’t be good—“ Watching as the fire ball dissipated and thick black smoke followed in its tracks, Jake and Bradley were both too scared to admit to one another that they both had the same gut wrenching feeling. What if it had something to do with you? “We should check it out—“

“Yeah no doubt.” Before the two men could get very far down the front steps of the Hard Deck, Bob was coming after them.

“Oh my god, what happened over there?”

“We’re gonna go check it out man.” Rooster explained. “Stay here, enjoy the festivities! It’s your birthday.” Bob didn’t want to admit it, but without you there to taunt and tease? He wasn’t having all that good of a time. “Sure it’s nothing.”

“Well if you’re sure it’s nothing we’ll be quick and be back before anyone even notices, right?” Bob stood his ground. Hesitant to drop the subject because what Rooster didn’t know, what Jake didn’t know, what Bob didn’t know—was that they were all thinking the same thing. But no one wanted to say it out of pure fear. “So what are we doing still standing here?”

“He’s right, let’s just check it out and get back before everyone throws a tantrum—“ Jake had become a little less jerky and a whole lot more tolerable since the success of the uranium mission. But he still had his moments.

The road was pretty much a straight shot to where the explosion had been. The three aviators all jogged somewhat seriously towards the fire. The smell of gasoline and what could only be described as a mix of burning rubber, aluminium and human flesh completely consuming them the closer they got.

“Oh shit–” Jake saw it first. The familiar silver of your Toyota Corolla caught his attention as it sat crumbled up in the embankment next to what he could only imagine had been another car. Completely engulfed by flames. “Fuck–” Pausing in his tracks as he gripped Bob by the forearms. Pulling him back as his eyes widened. Realising it was your car. His heart immediately racing in his chest. “Don't do it to yourself man, go back to the Hard De–” Ripping his arm out of Jake's grip, Bob raced down the embankment, sliding down on his arse to avoid the steep incline and force of gravity. “Call an ambulance man–” Jake's voice was soft as he gestured to Rooster who stood completely gobsmacked by the sight before him. There was no fucking way anyone would walk away from this?

“Clover!!” Bob shouted as he stood to his feet. “Clov? Are you there?” In retrospect, yes it was a stupid question to ask. But Bob didn't know what else to ask. “Clov!” When he finally laid his eyes on you Bob held back his imident automatic response to throw up the entire content of his stomach. “Oh my god–” With a hand over his mouth to sooth the urge, Bob tried his best to open the door. Pulling at the handle to absolutely no avail.

“Won't work–” With your head resting against the steering wheel, you mumbled softly with your eyes closed. Conserving whatever energy you had left. Whatever light. “Bob–”

“Hey pretty girl.” Bob’s bottom lip quivered as he pulled himself through the broken window. Being careful enough to avoid the shards that threatened to slice his torso. “What happened, hey? Do you remember?” All he got as a response was a soft moan, anguish evident. “Can you open your eyes for me?” Bob was careful as he moved your blood stained hair from your face. Dried and stuck in the cuts and gashes that covered your cheeks, your forehead. Watching as your eyelids fluttered open and blood dripped from your slightly open mouth. “There she is, hi Clov.”

“Hi–” It was all you could muster up the strength to say. Small almost inaudible responses. “Mickey?” Bob wasn't thinking straight, he hadnt even thought that Mickey would be with you. He hadn't noticed Mickey sprawled in the back after being thrown around when the car rolled again.It was supposed to be a surprise. Pulling himself out of the window to turn back to Jake who had managed to find a way in, retrieving Mickey from the back before placing him on the ground.

“He’s got a good pulse, I don't know shit else Bob, they aren't in a good position–can you get Clover out?” Statement, question, statement, question. That's all Bob heard. He couldn't think straight. Couldn't see, couldn't hear. This was the woman of his dreams he was dealing with. He’d been too afraid to make a solid move on. “Bob!”

“Sorry, Sorry–ill uh, i'll try.” Shaking himself out of his own head Bob turned back to where you sat trapped in the driver's seat. Assessing the situation. “Clov, I'm gonna try to unclip your seatbelt, yeah?” You’d gone back to just responding with groans, eyes closed. “Open your eyes for me.” Bob reminded you as he reached in and around to unclip the belt that had come loose in the last roll. Shifting you slightly forwards when it unsnapped. Your eyes open just barley.

“I got you–got you a cake.” Okay. Maybe Bob could work with this. Keeping you occupied with absent minded conversation while he stayed with you till the ambulance arrived.

“You did? What flavour was it?” Bob's heart dropped out of his arse when he saw the damage that had been done to your legs. Specifically your thighs, completely cut into and torn off the goddamn bone from your sternwheel column. Completing trapping you regardless if he was able to get the door off its hinges. “Clover, what flavour was the cake?” He wasn't giving up, but Bob quickly realised the best thing he could do would be to just say with you, keep you talking.

“White Chocolate Caramel.” There was not a part of you that wasn't covered in blood. Bob knew the human body held a lot, but he’d never seen it leaking from so many places before.

“Well, I'm sure it would have been perfect.” searching for your hand, Bob gripped it as tight as he could. “I'm here okay, I'm not going anywhere, helps coming Clov.” This had to be the sickest joke the universe had ever pulled on Robert Floyd. He had a plan, you see. Bob was pretty sure that tonight would be the night he finally worked up enough courage to ask you if you wanted to date. Start off slow, go with the flow. Enjoy each other's company more exclusively. He wasn't sure if he’d ever get the chance to now.

“Guys, I'm pretty sure there's a dead guy burning over near the other car–” Rooster shouted as he raced down the embankment. “Ambulance is like five minutes away.” Bob didn't reply, he was too caught up with you. His eyes weren’t leaving yours as you just sat there, resting against your steering wheel. Face squished.

“Bob?” It was a sob. Clear as day. Bob noticed the tears welling in your eyes as they fell down your cheek. Mixing with the dried blood that caked your skin.

“Yeah Clov, I'm here.” Squeezing your hand as you gave him nothing back. Your fingers just twitching ever so slightly.

“I really like you, like a lot.” You didn't feel good at all, something was very wrong and you didn't want Bob to go about his life wondering if you did or didn't like him. Despite your insecurities? Bob had been a good friend. Always. You just needed him to know that there was more than friendship on your part. Just in case. “Just need you to know–” Coughing up blood as you really struggled to keep your eyes open and tried on Bob. “Just in case–”

“You aren't dying on me.” Bob was stern when you leaned further into the car. His face just inches away from yours. “You don't get to die on me, God if you die on me Clov i'll be–”

“Angry?” Of course he’d be angry, you ruined his birthday.

“Completely and utterly heartbroken.” Bob finished his sentence before you could let your mind run wild with the thought of Bob being angry at you. “I couldn't never be angry at you.” It was the Silence that fell as your face changed. Stilling as muscles relaxed and your breathing shallow even more than what it already was. “Clover? Hey– Clov you stay with me alright?” Bob panicked as he pushed your hair back out of your face. Your hand fell limp in his as you smiled softly at him just one more time. Your vision blurred and became dark and dazed. Sirens alerted Bob to the fact that emergency services were just getting to you now. They began racing down the embankment with gear they needed.

“What I would give to know what it would be like to be loved by you.” It was the last thing you said before darkness came for you, going completely limp as a steady stream of blood poured from your mouth. Eyes still open as your entire body weight collapsed onto the steering wheel. Bob couldn't believe it. No–he wouldnt let you just fucking die on him.

“Clover!!! Hey, no no no no don't you do this to me! Don't you do this, c’mon, you're alright.” Complete denial had set in as he tapped your cheek trying to get you to wake up. “No baby don't do this, please don't leave me–”

“Sir, step aside!” The paramedics on sight were quick to push Bob to the side. The feeling of his hand slipping out of yours Bob swore he’d never forget. “She's not breathing! Let's get her out of here quickly!” Bob stumbled back as he felt his heart racing, tears streamed down his face until his back crashed against Rooster. Finally breaking as he fell to his knees. Listening to the paramedics as they worked on you. “Where's the defib?” “I can't get a pulse!” “Pass me the saw now!!!”

“Bob?” It was Mickey's voice that pulled Bob out of his own head. Watching as paramedics placed him on a stretch with his neck in a brace just for good measure. “She loves you, you know.” Your blood was all over his hands, his shirt, his jeans. Bob couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think of anything else but how he’d never get a chance to love you as fiercely as you deserved to be loved.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

As you cleared the empty glasses from the top of the tables, you caught the sight of Bob in your peripheral. Sitting off to the side while the rest of the aviators he’d accompanied to the Hard Deck played a game of pool. Respectfully—it wasn’t Bob's thing. The pool table and booze weren’t what he came to the Hard Deck for. It was and always would be to see you.

“You want another drink Lieutenant?” Still working to clear the table before turning to face Bob with a smirk. “I can make you a mean mocktail.”

“You know I hate asking—“ Bob looked down at the empty glass of lemonade that he held in his lap.

“It’s not asking if I’m offering.” Taking the glass from Bob's hand, you stayed comfortably between his legs as his hand moved to glide against the side of your thigh, fingers playing with the hem of your waitressing apron. “One Clover Club mocktail coming right up.” It all seemed to give you a case of Déjà vu. You’d done this before.

Too many times to count.

“What about the cake?” Bob questioned as his eyes lingered down towards your thigh. Confused, you tilted his chin up with your fingers.

“What cake?” Huh, this was new. This wasn’t what you were expecting Bob to say.

“My birthday cake—“ Reaching out to cup your cheek, Bob left a bloody handprint against your cheek. “You ruined it.”

“What are you talking about?” Storm clouds were quick to take over the sunny sky that had been blistering outside the Hard Deck. Glass shattered around you as three branches smashed into the bar. “Bob! What’s going on!?” Falling to the ground on top of you—Bob protected you from the wild weather and broken glass. Bob used his body as a shield.

“Quickly, follow me!” Rising to his feet Bob took off running. Trying your best to follow him, you stumbled back to the ground. Your legs were numb. You thighs were cut up and bleeding, so badly you could see bone. Flesh torn apart. “Clover! Over here!!”

“I can’t walk!” Panicking you felt your chest tightening as the storm outside got worse. Where had everyone else gone? “Bob! Help me!” The entire Hard Deck looked as if it had been caught in the eye of a hurricane.

“I’m over here!!” His figure has gone, vanished into thin air. “I’m here Clover!” Where the fuck was he? Why did he leave you?

“How do I get to you! I can’t walk, I can’t see you!?”

“Just wake up.” Bob's voice had softened, like he was whispering right in your ear. “Please come back to me—“ Scrunching your eyes tight as you balled yourself into a foetal position a steady beeping came through the thunder. The beeping drawing you back to reality because when you opened your eyes again you were no longer at the Hard Deck. You were in what you could only assume was a hospital bed.

Cold. That’s how you would describe hospitals in one word. They were always so cold. The steady beeping of your heart rate monitor was the only sound you could concentrate on as you slowly but surely looked around. Your arm was casted. Had you broken it? Trying to shift yourself up the bed slightly you noticed how unbelievably heavy your legs were—or lack thereof. Wait—why couldn’t you feel your legs?

“I uh, I just stepped out for a coffee. Didn't expect to see you awake for a while.” Bob’s voice was soft as he stopped himself at the threshold of your room. Holding a large coffee in his hand and a fresh bunch of flowers he’d gotten to replace the practically dead ones that were in the vase across the room. Timidity, he entered. Not sure how to act even though he’d been by your side since you were moved into a room by yourself. “Not saying that you being awake is a bad thing, I just um–the doctors told me not to get my hopes up.” You didn’t say anything in response as you watched Bob fixed the flowers he'd brought you into the vase, discarding the old ones before he came to sit beside you. He looked tired. Scruff has settled in nicely across his chin and cheeks.

“It's that bad huh.” You cut right to the chase. Not wanting to beat around the bush too long with it. Bob just took a sip of his coffee as he tried to hold back tears. He’d gotten pretty good at it over the last week or two. He’d just swallow a bunch of times and clench his jaw to stop himself from breaking down over a girl who wasn't even his to break down over. “Bob?”

“I should go get your parents.” As Bob tried to leave, you reached out for his wrist, keeping him from moving away. He hated the little oxygen tube that fed up into your nose. He wanted to rip it right from your face. But he knew better than to do that. It just hurt to know you’d been through so much. That he couldn't do more to help. “Clov–”

“You won't sugar coat it, please?” You knew if your parents had a chance to explain what was wrong with you, they would give you all the odds and tell you to fight and keep strong. But Bob? He was a statistics guy. A realist. He knew exactly how bad things were. You could see it in his eyes. “I wanna hear it from you.” Running his hand down his face as he placed his coffee on the table beside you. Bob reached for your papers. Sitting back down in the chair beside you as his free hand squeezed yours. The pad of his thumb rubbing softly against the skin of your palm.

“Um–so–” Bob didn't really know where to start. Clearing his throat as he looked back to the woman he loved so dearly. “So you had an accident, a pretty serious one.” Explaining what had happened the best he could with the information he had. “I think a good place to start is that Mickey is already discharged, he’s good, a couple of broken ribs and bruises here and there but otherwise he walked away pretty unscathed.” That in and of itself had been a miracle. It was good to hear though. “A little bit of a concussion but that was to be expected.”

“Why can't I feel my legs?” You really just wanted to get to the worst part of all of it. Bob was reluctant to explain but he knew you would appreciate him just cutting the cord. “Rip the bandaid off Flyboy–” It was something you called him just to tase him. Flyboy. Even as you laid practically on your deathbed, you still had a massive thing for Robert Floyd.

“You broke your back in two places Clov, doctors said you had a pretty high risk of losing function possibly from the waist down.” Bob's entire demeanour changed as he lost the smirk that crept across his face at the pet name you called him. Settling for something more serious as he held your hand and explained what was going on. “They tried to operate, you know, clear the bone fragments that had shattered and tidy everything up. Relieve the pressure on your spinal cord.” Bob paused a he look a deep breath in. he’d had more time to come to terms with this but he still hadnt fully processed it. “The surgery offered slightly better odds on the paralysis front but you were in critical condition–the surgery came with real risk.”

“The risk being, I'll never walk again?” It cut through Bob's heart like a hot knife into butter.

“The doctors seem to think there's a slight chance, but if we’re looking at it from an odds perspective here Clover it's like one in one hundred.” But he told you the truth like you asked him to. Didn't sugar coat the situation at all. He told you openly what you were facing. “There's options like rehabilitation, but the chances of ever walking without aid again are pretty slim to none.” the silence lingered as you processed what Bob had just told you. Frowning, you simply tried to change the subject.

“Did you ever get another birthday cake?” Bob looked at you like you were on some sort of medication he wasn't aware of. “I think if anything you need a cake.” Pushing the hospital blanket off your legs you tried to sit up. But couldn’t on your own accord. “Bob, help me up would you?”

“Y/n” Bob hardly ever used your name. Noone really did these days. It always always callsigns and nicknames. So when Bob said your name it struck a nerve that someone was severely wrong. “I'm not gonna do that alright, just–let me get the doctors for you and ill–”

“I'm fine, see–?” Pushing yourself up with your good arm. A jolt of pain flashed up your spine. Gritting your teeth you tried to act cool. “See, now help me off this goddamn bed.” Trying your best to throw your dead legs over the side of the bed, Bob had to reach out and physically stop you. Forcing you to stop what you were doing. “I'm fine! I'm totally fine!”

“Clover your paralysed, please–don't make it worse just, please, i'll go get the doctors.”

“I dont need some fucking doctor! I need to get out of this fucking bed!” A nurse walking past had heard the commotion coming from your room, stopping in the doorway to see Bob struggling to keep you still in your bed. Paging for someone to come check on you before the situation spiralled out of control. “Bob if you aren’t going to help me get the fuck out!” Not knowing what to do, Bob ignored your pleas for him to leave, how could he do that when you were so clearly not alright. “Get out!! GET OUT!”

“I'm not gonna leave you here alone Clov” Bob tried to hold you still as he saw the doctors coming in. “It's just a lot right now–”

“Fuck. Off. Floyd.” At this point you didn't really know what you were saying as Bob stepped back and let the doctors who knew what they were doing take over. “Get out of here!” It was hard not to take things as personally as he did. Bob knew it was just the process of grief taking effect. It hits everyone differently. You didn't mean what you were saying, but the fact you had just been told you probably would ever walk again had your emotions everywhere. You needed someone to blame, someone to hate. Bob had just been the closet victim.

Watching as the doctors and nurses sedated you for your own benefit, Bob let his emotions escape as tears streamed down his cheeks. Standing over near the flowers he’d brought you. Settling you back into the bed, one of the nurses turned to Bob, offering him a few tissues.

“You shouldn't leave, she clearly needs someone–it’s most likely just the cocktail of drugs we’re pumping her with.”

“Oh I wasn't going to.” Bob was quick to clarify. “Just hard seeing her like this.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~

Bob had waited until your parents had arrived before he left your side. Since you’d asked him to leave he hadn’t been back. Well, as far as you were aware anyway. He’d slip in to check on you while you were sleeping, but he was too afraid to overstep a line you’d drawn in the invisible sand of your relationship. As days turned into a week, you’d begun to worry irreversible damage had been done to your relationship.

But something Bob couldn’t let go of was the fact he’d watched you die. He’d watched your light fade into nothingness. He’d watched the girl he’d pinned over for months with your intoxicating laugh and bright smile fade to nothing. He’d been given a chance to love you—he wasn’t letting that go.

He saw you out of bed, sitting by the window in the wheelchair the hospital had provided. Knocking gently, you didn’t turn around. For a split second—Bob was going to turn on his heels and dip. But he stood his ground. Clearing his throat as he entered your room.

“You know, I never did get to eat that birthday cake.” Bob started as he came to stand beside you. Noticing the glazed over look in your eyes as you looked longingly out the window. “So I thought, why not share one with my best girl.” A little bit of Bob's southern hospitality jumped out when he sat the small two person cake on your lap. Holding up two silver spoons as he ducked to kiss the top of your head. Chuckling softly, you shook yourself out of your daze. Watching as Bob sat down beside you.

“I'm sorry I snapped at you last week.” It was a heartfelt apology you knew Bob deserved.  

“It’s not an issue, really.” Bob was quick on the draw as he shook his head. You didn't need to apologise for grieving.

“Why’d you stay away for so long then?” Silence fell for a moment before Bob decided to just be truthful, be honest.

“I just wanted to give you time, some space.” It was the truth. “I still came by and sat with you while you slept. Checked in with the nurses, your parents, Mickey.” Opening the plastic lid on the cake before he dug his spoon in as he spoke candidly. “You’ve kinda got me in a spiral here Clov and I dunno what to do.” It was Bob's first admission. Taking a spoonful of cake into his mouth as he sat back in his chair. Mimicking his actions you did the same, taking a spoonful of cake onto your spoon. “I'm pretty sure I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, but that could also be the whole I saw you die thing still making it hard to sleep.”

“What did you just say?” Coughing on the cake you just swallowed in a lump.

“The whole I saw you die thing making it hard to sleep?” Bob repeated as he frowned his brows. “I mean yeah, i just can't get the image out of my head, and then there's the blood–”

“No Bob, I wasn't talking about that–'' It wasn't that you didn't care about what Bob was going through, seeing someone die in front of you would be hard on anyone's mental stability. “What do you mean you wanna spend the rest of your life with me?” It felt so natural to say that Bob hadnt even realised how much that could weigh on a person. “Robert Floyd, you know I'm in a wheelchair right? For possibly the rest of my life– you can't do that.”

“Why not?” He was being so casual about it that for a moment you thought you were going crazy. “What law says that?”

“There's no law it just seems–” You paused as you hung your head low. Almost shamefully. “Unfair.” That really hit Bob. “I feel like you'd be more of a carer then a partner and I don't want you being stuck with a girlfriend who can't walk. Do you know how many things I'd be cheating you out of?” It really did sound like you were trying to talk Bob out of whatever decision he’d made about you. “Not to mention the process of–”

“You don't get to think of yourself as any less deserving because of this.” Bob was quick to interrupt as he brought you a little closer to him by your wheelchair. “You are the best person i know–”

“Bob please–”

“You're so funny, you light up any room you walk into.” Bob smirked as he saw your eyes get a little bigger, a smirk trying its best to take over the muscles in your face. “Do you know how many Clover Clubs i've drunk just so i had a chance to talk to you?”

“What do you mean?” You could not believe what you were hearing as you tried to hide your smile, biting your bottom lip softly as Bob softly rocked your wheels back and forth as he admitted his feelings, his little smooth criminal moves.

“I hate eggs, God the idea of drinking raw egg whites makes me want to vomit, but goddammit the way you would always ask, so nicely, so sincerely, how could I say no!” It was the laugh you let out that had Bob beaming. He hadnt heard you laugh in so long. “Even if it was non-alcoholic id still rather drink anything else than raw egg whites.”

“You should have told me!” Between genuine chuckles that evoked tears of joy, your smile had come back. Bob was certain at that moment he was going to marry you one day. “I would've just made you something else, or better yet brought you over something you actually wanted.”

“Now where's the fun in that?” Bob beamed as he leaned in to kiss your forehead. Holding you against him for a moment before pulling away to rest his forehead against yours. “Honestly, if you want to, we’ll take it slow and just see how things go? But this?” Bob gestures to the wheelchair you sat on. “Does not change how I feel about you. If anything it's made me realise just how fleeting time really is and all I wanna do with the time I've got left on this god forsaken earth is love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

“You're gonna end up resenting me.” It was hard to trust that someone could love you with how broken you really were. “For all the things i'll never be able to do.”

“I could never resent you.” Bob was as honest as he could be. “Never could I ever resent you for just being you Clov.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~

Present day

Bob hated his birthday, a little part of him died that day. He would never take life for granted again. He cherished small moments with the people around him more than most people would ever know. Not only would he take mental pictures of life's greatest pleasures, he’d taken up photography in order to make sure he could always look back on the memories he’d made with the ones he loved. If Robert Floyd was around? You’d best be sure there was a camera not far behind.

Yawning as he made his way down the hall, Bob kicked away balloons that had littered the floor of the hallway. He knew you weren't far away.

“Babe, what is all this?” Rounding the corner of the living and kitchen area, Bob froze in his tracks as he locked eyes on you. “What the hell!” Completely stunned.

“Happy Birthday Baby!” You beamed as bright as the biggest star as you stood just slightly away from the kitchen counter. Standing still on legs that had not held your full weight on their own in three whole years. Your cane close by, Bob could see it sticking out from behind the island bench. But that didn't matter. Because as you took three very wobbly steps towards him unassisted? Bob couldn't have asked for anything else besides your happiness. “Been working towards this since you told me I was still worth your love.”

“You will never stop amazing me, pretty girl.” Bob was quick to catch you in his arms as you lost your balance, crashing into him. His lips on your in an instant as he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. You were his one in one hundred chance. The love of his life. “I love you so much.”  

Robert Floyd hated his birthday. His birthday brought around memories of the women he lost. Forever trapped in that smashed up car. But he’d never for a moment forget how to love the women who he had the chance to love as fiercely and as passionately as he did. He knew a part of you died that day, but he was just thankful to be able to spend his days with the best parts of you that were left.

“I love you so much more, Flyboy.”

[chestnutninny]

Secrets

(Elizabeth Donnelly x Reader- Fluff)

The request for this imagine stated that they wanted a plus-sized reader. However, I haven't mentioned anything about the reader being plus-sized or not.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

You had joined the Special Victims Unit a few months ago as a detective. You had helped put away many criminals, such as rapists and pedophiles, and had gone before many judges whilst you helped the victims of the heinous attacks.

However, there was only one judge that had caught your eye, and that was Elizabeth Donnelly. A month into your job with SVU, Elizabeth had invited you out for drinks at her favourite bar that wasn't far from the precinct. That night, you ended up at her apartment, naked in her silk bed sheets. After that, you had both been a few more dates together and decided that you both really liked each other, before settling the deal and becoming exclusive.

Recently, you had been assigned to working with Olivia Benson as her old partner, Stabler, had left his job with SVU. You had just tackled a notoriously dangerous rapist, who received life sentence for his crimes, ruled by Donnelly.

"Hey, Y/N. How about you come for some celebratory drinks down at the bar with me and the squad?" Liv offered.

"Sure." You agreed as you reached for your jacket, swinging it over your shoulders.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

You and the rest of the squad were sat huddled around a table in the bar, when Fin ushered you to go and grab some more drinks for you all, extending his palm out to you, gesturing for you to grab the money from him.

"The next round is on me." You chuckled as the team cheered at your generosity.

As you stood at the bar waiting for your order to be finished, a middle-aged man walked up to you, a crisp ironed suit tailored to his muscular frame.

"Hey, can I get you a drink, sweetheart?" His lips curled to reveal his pearly white teeth, glistening in the dim lights of the bar.

"Umm, no thanks. I'm just ordering for my friend."

"I don't see your friend. A pretty girl like you shouldn't be here by yourself." You cringed as his hand moved its way to your arm, pulling you closer to his side.

"She's with me." You heard a deep voice ring out, a possessive arm wrapping around your waist. The man let go of your arm as your were pulling away from his reach, turning to cuddle into Liz's side.

"I-I didn't know. I'm s-sorry." He stuttered as he grabbed his drink and practically ran away from you both, toward the other side of the bar.

"Are you okay, princess? He didn't hurt you, did he?" She questioned, as her eyes raked your body.

"No, not at all. Just made me a bit uncomfortable, that's all." You cheeks flushed red as you turned to see the whole squad looking back at you as Elizabeth cradled you in her arms, her lips landing on your cheek.

Liz turns to the direction your eyes are staring, and realises that she has just outed you both to the entire squad, not realising that they were at the bar with you.

"I'm sorry, baby. I should've know that you'd be here with them after your massive win today. Congratulations, by the way." She leaned down and place a soft kiss to your lips. "Stop gawking. Yes, Y/N and I are together."

She rolled her eyes and sets down yours and hers drinks, and the rest of the squad stared in shock at the revelation. You and Olivia went back to the bar and retrieved the drinks that you had bought for the squad. When you got back to the table, the team congratulated both you and Liz, telling you that they are happy, and Fin making commented about how he is happy that Liz will be more relaxed if she getting laid, which made you all laugh.

[jbaileyfansite]

Interview with People (2023)

Jonathan Bailey could have gone in any direction after his runaway success as the male romantic lead in Bridgerton'ssecond season.

But choosing to play a gay man opposite Matt Bomer in Showtime's Fellow Travelers, another romantic period drama — this one spanning the 1950s Joseph McCarthy communist trials to the 1980s AIDS crisis — was a "no-brainer" for the British actor.

"I had looked for these gay stories, a sweeping gay love story, and I hadn't really seen them," Bailey, 35, tells PEOPLE in this week's issue. "This ticked every single box, and it's something I know I'll be proud of for the rest of my career."

Bailey first grabbed the attention of TV viewers with his breakthrough performance as Anthony Bridgerton, the proud, surly viscount on Shonda Rhimes's sudsy Regency-era drama Bridgerton.

Starring in one of Netflix's most popular shows has been transformative for Bailey, who previously had mostly divided his time between British TV and theater roles.

"Having always waited for auditions and projects to come, I just have that footing now to have choices, which is incredible and so special, because it's not a very common thing," he says. "I have a responsibility therefore not to waste that."

Raised in Benson, England by his father Stuart, a managing director at a honey supplier, and his mother Carole, who worked several jobs to help make ends meet and pay for dance and music lessons for her son and his three older sisters, Bailey found school intimidating.

The actor was 11 when he realized he might be gay, and he sought refuge in his family, the theater and his best friend.

"It's a pretty common story that school is terrifying, especially in a world where people don't understand or the teachers and children don't understand LGBTQ+ identities and experiences," he shares. "But the superpower of being on the outside looking in means that when you're older, you are drawn to storytelling and creatives who are singular and exciting. And I think queer people have a real strength to them, which could be celebrated."

Fellow Travelers certainly celebrates the LGBTQ+ community through its ambitious, decades-long narrative and queer stars. The biggest, most exciting draw for Bailey was his character Tim Laughlin's "expansive arc," evolving from a closeted political staffer in the 1950s to an out-and-proud activist in the 1980s.

"It's explored more, his journey and the expanse of it, more than any other character," Bailey says. "But I think, with Tim, he's constantly searching within himself. He's constantly torn between his identity, the truth about his identity and the stories that he's been told, whether it be by religion, by the government, by his parents or society. So it's thrilling to be able to constantly be torn between two places."

Working alongside Bomer, 46, helped Bailey bring Fellow Travelers to life.

Bomer, who also served as an executive producer on Fellow Travelers, was "a total joy" to work with, recalls Bailey, who meshed well with the White Collar actor right from the start — from their Zoom screen test to their "pregame coffee" five days before they began shooting.

"We both had quite a lot of experience in our careers of intimacy and portraying intimacy, but there's also just so much we've experienced as gay men, as well. So naturally, we had a lot to explore," he says, adding, "To honor the canon of gay storytelling is totally what I set out to do. So if it [Fellow Travelers] is 'up there,' then I'm really happy."

Source

[morrison-dunwoody]

(I'll get to your Ask eventually, but for now I give you one in return :B) So, your fankids.. Pam and Benson had Abby, but Morrison.. was he a cheat/oopsy result, or did Pam and Benson divorce and Benson got with Mordo after that? 8V Orrr are they a happy polycule family? xD

Oh in my AU, Ima say Abby is kinda her own AU, where Mordeson didn't happen and it was Pamson,

But for Morrisons AU, basically Pam x Benson DID happen in 'Pam I Am', and Rigby and Eileen were already together and had a kid (Daniel, who was only a toddler)

And beforehand, Mordecai was the one with a crush on Benson, and Benson had a small one on Mordecai, but never looked into it too much, just confused on his own feelings since he wasnt sure if he was even into men either.

So how was Morrison born? Remember that episode in Season 8 when Mordecai and Rigby got messed up and mixed together?

That same exact machine that Muscle Man was a technician for, is the exact reason Morrison existed

The machine was down and needed to be back up again so Muscle Man ofc fixed it, and needed it to be tested, and of course Mordecai and Benson were there and around at the time, so they were chosen to test it, they both stood in the individual tubes as Muscle man ran the tests and started the machines

The test was meant to swap Ben and Mordos places, not do anything drastic to them as the machines glew, Mordo and Ben outta view due to that, you'd assume they were swapped places when both tubes opened (smoke coming outta each one) with Mordecai walking out completely fine but ..

That wasn't exactly the case.

Benson walked outta the fog, with a little toddler in his arms, with a completely shocked face, EVERYONE in the room was shocked, (Muscle Man, Mordo, Rigby, Eileen, Daniel just now peeking in)

Mordecai and Benson were dumbfounded and looked at Muscle Man but Muscle Man had no idea what happened either or HOW this happened, where did this kiddo come from?? He looked like a mix of both Mordecai and Benson, almost like a FUSION, but younger.

Morrisons basically a fusion of both Mordecai and Benson, he wasnt just a regular kid, he had memories from both Mordecai and Bensons childhoods but as he gained his sense of self he had his own memories (all during toddler age anyway), but because of how young he was during this, he'd later forget how he was born or created as he grew older as it wasnt usually talked about.

Mordecai and Benson werent dating at all when Morrison was created but had to work together to parent Morrison, and Bensons feelings for Mordecai grew more and more during then, and Mordecai also grew feelings, eventually they dated as they bonded through the parenting of Morrison and officially were both his dads.

Morrison often has struggles with his identity even further into teenagehood, as hes a fusion of both Mordecai and Benson, he'd often see glimpses of Mordecai and Benson when they were his age, confused, and struggling, its.. Unfortunately a struggle he keeps secret about, but he always wondered why these things occured and happened, he didnt remember how he was created either, it all felt off to him, but thats just some character stuff! Not rlly his origins

But yeah he was an accident in that teleporter thing! Brought Mordecai and Benson together, (...unfortunately Pamson didnt work when they got home BUT! Pam and Benson are still absolute ✨ besties ✨ and Morrison calls Pam "Aunt Pam")

He and Daniel bonded since toddlerhood, all the way to the present, (Morrisons 14 and Daniels 15)

[idontplaytrack]

First

Olivia Benson x teen!daughter reader

Warnings: none.

In which Olivia meets reader’s girlfriend for the first time.

“After school, are you coming straight home or are you going out?”

“Oh- uh, I have a date with Ramona.”

“A date? Okay, have a good time and be alert, yeah?”

“Of course, mama. I will.” You nodded, swinging your backpack over your shoulder.

You leave the house several minutes ahead of her to get to school- as usual. Your spirits were high since you'd get to see your girlfriend after school- it's been a hectic week.

Meanwhile, at SVU, Rollins knocks on Liv's office door to talk. "Liv, everything okay? I saw you through the window and you seem a little...worried?"

"Worried? Maybe a little, but mainly kind of happy? I mean, this morning I asked y/n what she was doing after school and she just tells me she has a date. She's never been one to be so open and tell me something like that."

"It seems like she's finally ready to let you know she's seeing someone. That's great, Liv."

"I know. It is, just a little shocked is all."

After class, you waited for Ramona at a nearby coffeehouse. She was coming from her school but it wasn't far away from the place so it didn't take her long. "Hey!" You waved and she saw you. "Hi, babe." She pecks your lips softly, "Did you wait for long?"

"No, just fifteen minutes. Ready to order?"

"Yep." She put her backpack down and two of you got up and joined the line. You've already gotten yourself a drink, but you decided to get some food now as well.

————

“So, a couple weeks ago you brought up meeting your Mom and I did give it some thought.”

“We don’t have to-”

“I know that. But I think now’s a pretty good time. We’re coming up to a year and if you feel ready, just know that I am too.”

“Okay. Shall we do that tonight? Mom promised to make her famous lasagna.”

“Ooh, yum.” Ramona nodded in agreement, “Can’t wait. Your Mom’s such a badass.”

“She is.” You agreed.

Later that evening, you took Ramona home with you. Your Mom was cooking and had just put the lasagna into the oven. “Mom, I’m home. I’m brought Ramona with me.”

“Oh, wow. Hello.” She shut the door of the oven and whipped her head around. “It’s great to finally meet you, Ramona.”

“It’s so nice to meet you too.” Ramona shook her hand, “How would you like me to address you?”

“Olivia’s fine.” She smiled.

“Alright.” Ramona nods, returning her smile.

While waiting for the lasagna to be ready, your Mom got the chance to get to know Ramona. “How’d you two meet?”

“A year ago at the away track meet.” You answered.

“Took me nearly two months to get the guts to ask her out.” Ramona admitted, “Now I know where she gets her beauty from. You two look so alike.”

Olivia chuckles. You blushed, nudging her playfully, “Stop.”

“You are gorgeous.” Ramona shrugged, rubbing your thigh soothingly.

“What are your plans for college?”

“Mom.” Your eyes widened in shock.

“It’s okay.” Ramona says, “I’m going to NYU in the fall. Early decision.”

“That’s really impressive. Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Ramona smiled.

“I’m just glad my daughter’s met someone that loves her so much. It’s clear to me she feels the same way about you.” Olivia says, right as the oven dinged.

After dinner, Ramona said bye to your Mom, then you, alone. “I’ll see you Sunday?” You ask.

“Yeah.” She nods, giving you a sweet kiss on the lips, “We’ll hit a couple of bookstores then check out the new cafe.”

“Sounds great.”

“Night, baby.” Ramona runs her thumb over your knuckles.

“Good night.”

[layce2015]

Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)

Sex And Violence

Masterlist

*3rd Person POV* 

"Yeah." Sam said into his cellphone as he stands in the bathroom of their motel room. Dean and (y/n) were asleep in one of the beds together, Dean was laying on his right side and (y/n) was hugged up to him. His back against her chest and her left arm draped around his waist and her face was pressed up against his back.

A truck horn sounds and wakes Dean up. He raises his head and sees Sam was not in his bed. "Yeah, that's what I'm telling you. No storms, no bad crops, nothing." Sam said and Dean leans up on an elbow and watches Sam talk in the phone. "Yeah, okay. We'll keep looking. You keep looking too, OK? All right. Talk soon." Sam said and he hangs up and Dean quickly lies down, pretending to be asleep.

Sam enters the main room and watches Dean and (y/n), seeing they were still asleep. Then he pokes Dean with his bathroom bag. "Hey. Up and at 'em, kiddos." he said and Dean pretends to wake up, rubbing his eyes, while (y/n) groans. "Five more minutes." She mumbles as Dean looks over at Sam.

"You're up early. What are you doing?" He asked Sam. "Nothing. I was in the can." Sam replied. "Yeah?" Dean said, not believing him. "Yeah. You want me to draw you a picture?" Sam asked him. "Nah, I'll pass." Dean said as (y/n) goes to lay on her back and rubs her eyes. "Thank God, cause I don't want the first image I see in the morning is Sam's bathroom routine." She grumbles and Sam rolls his eyes.

"Found a job. Bedford, Iowa. Guy beat his wife's brains out with a meat tenderizer." Sam said and both Dean and (y/n) look over at him, alarmed. "Yikes." Dean said. "And get this. Third local inside two months to gank his wife. No priors on any of 'em, all happily married." Sam said. "Ahh. Sounds like Ozzie and Harriet." (y/n) remarks and Sam smirks.

"More like The Shining." he said as (y/n) sits up on the side of the bed. "All right, well I guess we'd better have a look." Dean said

*(y/n)'s POV*

"Why does the PD keep sending you guys? I already said I don't want a lawyer." Mr Benson said to us after we arrived at the prison to interview him.. "They're lining up the firing squad." Dean said, smirking. "I'm pleading guilty." Benson said. "All right, look, you don't want us to represent you, that's fine. In fact it's probably not a bad idea, between you and me. We just wanna understand what happened, that's all." I said to him.

"Mr Benson. Please." Sam pleaded as Benson looked between us then sighs. "What happened was, I killed my wife. You wanna know why? Because she made plans without asking me. He said. "Now when it happened, how did you feel? Disoriented, out of control?" Sam asked him. "Like something possessed you to do it?" Dean added. 

"I knew exactly what I was doing. I was crystal clear." Benson said and I furrow my brow. "The why'd you do it?" I asked him. "I don't know. I loved her. We were happy." he replied and Dean places some papers on the table and taps them.

"Nine G's. That's a hefty bill." Dean said and Benson's eyes widen. "Where did you get that?" he asked. "Doesn't matter. We have it. See, certain charges, ones you don't want the missus to know...they show up under shady names like M & C Entertainment." Dean said. "I don't know what you're talking about." Benson said. "Like dropping plastic at a nudie bar for instance." Dean said.

"We just wanna know the truth, Mr Benson." I said to Benson, who was looking at us nervous then he sighs. "Her name was Jasmine." he said. "She was a stripper?" Sam asked. "Dude, her name was Jasmine." Dean said. "Or she's a fan of Aladdin." I added and Dean rolls his eyes. "I didn't mean for it to happen, I don't like to go to strip bars. My buddy was having a bachelor party, and there she was." Benson said.

"Jasmine." Sam said and Benson nods. "She came right up to me. And...I dunno, she was just...perfect. Everything that I wanted." he said. "Well you pay enough and anybody will be anything." Dean said and I elbow his side. "It wasn't about the money. It wasn't even about the sex. It was...I dunno. I....I don't know what it was. It's hard to explain." Benson said and I raise an eyebrow at this. 

"And your wife found out?" I asked him. "No, she never had a clue." Benson said. "Then why'd you kill her?" I asked, confused. "For Jasmine. She said we would be together forever. If...if only Vicki was..." Benson said then Dean mutters under his breath. "Muertos."

"Afterwards, me and Jasmine were supposed to meet and she never showed. I don't know where she lives, I don't know her last name, I don't even know her real first name! I'm an idiot." Benson exclaims. "And you didn't think to tell this to the cops?" Sam asked him. "What for? The stripper didn't do it, I did it. And I know what I deserve. The judge doesn't give me the death sentence, I'll just do it myself." Benson said and the boys and I exchange looks.

*3rd Person POV*

Dr Cara Roberts sits behind her desk and tips some tablets from a bottle into her hand. She swallows the tablets and rubs her temples as Sam enters the office. "Rough night?" he asked her, smiling, and she turns and smiles at him. "Fun night. Rough morning." she said and Sam sniggers.

"Can I help you?" Cara asked him. "Ahhh...yes. Um, I'm Special Agent Stiles, FBI. You Doctor Cara Roberts?" Sam asked her as he showed her his badge. "Far as I know." she replied.

"You do some work with the Sheriff's department?" Sam asked. "Yeah, when I'm not slogging it through the ER. It's a small town. We multi-task." Cara said, shrugging. "Well, I have some questions about a case. About several cases actually. Do you mind if I sit?" Sam asked her and she motions him to a chair.

"Great. Adam Benson, Jim Wylie, and Steve Snyder." Sam listed off and Cara nods. "Oh yeah, the men who killed their wives?" she asked and Sam nods. "You handled their work-ups, right?" he asked. "Autopsies for the wives and tox screens for the perps. Two-for-one special." Cara said.

"You find anything?" he asked. "Not really. I mean, c.o.d. on the women was pretty clear. There was nothing unusual in their systems." she explained. "What about the husbands?" Sam asked her and she looks at him, curiously.

"Can I....see your badge again?" She asked and he pulls it out and she looks closely at his badge then at Sam. "There was one thing, um, an anomaly in the blood work. And I remember thinking how strange it was that it showed up in all three of the men." she said.

"That what showed up?" Sam asked, confused. "Oxytocin. And their levels were crazy high." Cara said. "Ahh. Oxytocin?" Sam said, asking for an elaboration. "Mm-hmm, it's a hormone that's produced during childbirth, lactation and sex." Cara said then Sam nods. "OK." he said.

"People call it the love hormone. Um, you know how it feels when you first fall in love. The whole weak in the knees, tattoo you on my chest thing? That's oxytocin. Of course it eventually fades and then you're stuck with every relationship ever. That and the painful regime of tattoo removal." Cara said, chuckling, and her and Sam smile at each other just as Dean and (y/n) enter.

"What'd we miss?" Dean asked and Cara looks at the two, confused, then back at Dean. "Ahh, these are my partners, Agent Murdoch and Agent Case." Sam introduced and Cara, Dean and (y/n) shake hands.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Doctor Roberts." she said and (y/n) nods. "Pleasure to meet you." She greets then Cara turns to Sam. "So, um, can I help you with anything else?" she asked him. "Uhh, sure, just one more thing. This chemical, this..." Sam said and trails off as he tries to remember what it was call.

"Oxytocin." She answered and Sam nods. "Oxytocin. What would cause those high levels that you found?" he asked her. "Nothing that I've ever seen." she said. "OK. That's it. Thanks Doc." Sam said and they exchange smiles again then he, Dean and (y/n) move to the door. Sam hesitates then turns back to her.

"By the way...try a greasy breakfast. Best thing for a hangover." He informed her and she smiles again. "Watch it buddy, I'm the only M.D. here." she said and Sam nods and leaves. "Looks like a certain doctor has their eyes on you." (Y/n) teased and Sam scoffs as they leave the hospital.

*(y/n)'s POV*

"So Whylie and Snyder totally fessed up, huh?" Sam asked as we get to the parking lot of the hospital. "One emptied his IRA, the other, his kids' college fund, all on the same day." Dean said. "Live nude girls?" Sam asked and we nod. "A club called The Honey Wagon." I said.

"These guys have affairs too, with a stripper also known as Jasmine?" asked Sam. "Yes and no. This is where it gets interesting. Each guy hooked up with a different chick." said Dean. "So, what? These girls all connected somehow?" Sam asked. "Well, they all described their stripper in the same way, the exact same way. Perfect, and everything that they wanted." I said and Sam scoffs out a laugh.

"Yeah, at least until dream Barbie convinced them to murder their wives." He said. "There's that." Dean said, shrugging. "You know, it's almost like they were under some kinda love spell." Sam said. "Sure seems that way." I said. "Which caused them to become totally psychotic." Sam said.

"Absolutely." Dean said, smiling. "You seem pretty cheery." Sam points out and I eye Dean. "Strippers, Sammy. Strippers. We're on an actual case involving strippers. Finally." Dean said and I fold my arms and clear my throat at him and he looks at me. "Hey, I can look just can't touch." He said and I raise an eyebrow at him. "You better just look..." I said in a threatening tone and he raised his hand up.

That night, Dean and I make it over to the club and show our badge to security. The guy lets us in and we go inside to find the manager as Thunder Kiss '65 plays over the speakers. "We're looking for three girls. Jasmine, Aurora and Ariel." Dean said to the manager, who looked at us annoyed.

"You seriously think those names mean anything to me?" he asked us. "One's a redhead about 5'9". The other one's Asian, about..." I said and the manager scoffs. "You have any idea how many girls I deal with? Fake names, fake hair, fake..." he said and Dean sighs. "You gotta have some sort of paperwork. Check stubs. Some way to keep track of the strippers." Dean said.

"Please, exotic dancers. Independent contractors working for cash. I stay out of their hair, they stay out of what little I have left." The manager said. "Three of your customers murdered their wives. You don't think that that's weird?" I asked him, suspiciously. "Yeah. I think that's super-friggin' weird. But you know what it ain't? My problem." The manager said and he leaves.

"Nice helpful fellow." I grumbled as Sam comes up to us. "Any luck?" He asked us. "No. You?" Dean said. "A little. I just talked to Bobby, we officially have a theory." Sam said. "What's that?" Dean and I asked. "Siren." Sam said. "Like Greek myth siren, the Odessy?" Dean asked and both Sam and I give Dean a surprised look. "....Hey, I read!" Dean said, defensively.

"Yeah, actually. But the siren's not actually a myth, it's more of a beautiful creature that preys on men, enticing them with their siren song." Sam said. "Let me guess, Welcome to the Jungle? No, no. Warrant's Cherry Pie." Dean jokes "Their song is more of a metaphor, like...like their call, their allure, you know?" Sam said.

"So they shake their thing and the guys zombie out." I said and Sam nods. "Basically, yeah. Sirens lived on islands, sailors would chase 'em, completely ignoring the rocky shores...and dash themselves to pieces." he said. "Sounds like Adam and his buddies." Dean said.

"Yeah. If you were a siren in '09 looking to ruin a bunch of morons, where would you set up shop?" Sam asked, rhetorically. "So whatever floats the guy's boat, that's what they look like?" Dean asked. "Yeah. You see, sirens can read minds. They see what you want most and then they can kinda, like, cloak themselves. You know, like an illusion." Sam explained.

"So it could all be the same chick? Morphing into, uh, to different dream girls?" I asked. "Yeah, actually. Probably. Sirens are usually pretty solitary." Sam said. "How do we kill it?" asked Dean. "Bobby's working on it. Even if we figure that out..." Sam said as we look out into the crowd of people in the club. "How the hell are we gunna find it? It could be anybody." I said.

The next day, Dean and I were sitting in the motel room and I noticed that Sam left his cellphone. "Sam left his phone." I pointed out and Dean stares at it then picks it up. "Dean, what are you doing?" I asked as he scrolls the numbers then clicks on a number and brings it up to his ear.

"Dean..." I said but he holds up a finger at me then a second later, his face hardens in anger then he quickly hangs up. "What the hell, Dean?" I asked him. "Sam's been talking to Ruby." Dean said and my eyes widen in shock. "What?" I asked.

But before Dean could reply, Sam enters the room. "Lenny Bristol was definitely another siren vic." Sam said. "You get in to see him?" Dean asked him. "Yep. He bought home a stripper named Belle. Coupla hours later he offed his mother. Belle, of course, went MIA." Sam said and I shake my head and look over at Sam.

"Wait, he killed his mom?" I asked. "The woman he was closest too." Sam said then his phone starts to ring. "Yeah, you, uh, forgot your cell phone." Dean said and he tosses Sam his phone. Sam gives Dean a worried look as he answers it 

"Hey Bobby." Sam answered and he listens to what Bobby had to say. "Ahhh, no. And, uh, it doesn't seem like she's slowing down any. You got anything?" he asked. "Hold on a sec, I'll put you on speaker." He said then he pushes a button his phone then Bobby's voice speaks through the phone.

"It says you need a bronze dagger, covered in the blood of a sailor, under the spell of the song." Bobby said. "What the hell does that mean?" Dean asked. "You got me. We're dealing with 3000 years of the telephone game here." Bobby said.

"Best guess?" Sam asked. "Well, the siren's spell ain't got nothing to do with any song. It's most likely some kind of toxin or venom. Something she gets in the vic's blood." Bobby sai. "And makes them go all Manchurian Candidate." Sam said. 

"Uh, what do you think, she infects the men during sex?" I asked Bobby. "Maybe." Bobby said. "Supernatural STD." Dean jokes. "Well, however it happens, once it's done the siren's gotta watch her back. She gets a dose of her own medicine..." Bobby said then Sam finished his sentence. "It kills her." he said. "Like a snake getting iced by its own venom." Bobby said.

"So we just gotta find a way to juice one of the OJs in jail?" Dean asked. "Not that easy. None of those guys are under the spell anymore. Haven't got a clue where you're going to get the blood you need." Bobby said and Sam looks up. "I think I might have an idea." he said. "Be careful, boys. These things are tricky bitches. Wrap you up in knots before you know what hit ya. (Y/n), keep an eye on these boys." Bobby said and I chuckle. "I'll do my best, Bobby." I said.

"Dr. Roberts." Sam greets Roberts when we arrived in her office. "Agent Stiles. Can't stay away, huh?" she asked him. "Actually, uh, we're here on business. About the blood samples. The ones with the high...you know...oxytocin?" Sam said then Dean speaks up. "You still have them?" he asked and she nods.

"Good, we need them." I said and she furrows her brow at us. "What for?" she asked but then we hear footsteps behind us. "Excuse me, Dr. Roberts?" a man's voice calls out and we turn and see a young man with short dirty blonde hair and wearing a suit.

"Yeah?" Roberts asked as Dean pulls out his badge. "Excuse me, uh, we're a little busy here, buddy." Dean tells him and the guy pulls out his own badge. "Yeah, so am I, pal." he said then I turn to Roberts. "Doc, can you give us a sec, please?" I asked her and she backs away. "Sure." she said. "Thanks." I said and she leaves and we all turn to the newcomer.

"What's your name?" Dean asked him. "Nick Munroe. What's yours?" Munroe said. "I'm Special Agent Sam Stiles, these are my partners Dean Murdoch and (y/n) Case. What office are you from?" Sam asked him. "Omaha, Violent Crimes Unit. My SAC sent me down here to see about the murders." Munroe replied and I hum at this, suspiciously.

"You?" Munroe asked us. "D.C. Our Assistant Director assigned us." I replie. "Oh, which AD?" Munroe asked. "Mike Kaiser." Sam replied. "What are your badge numbers?" he asked us. "You're kidding, right?" Dean asked him, annoyed. "I'm just following protocol." Munroe said then Sam hands him a card.

"Look man, whatever. Just call our AD, he'll sort things out." Sam said and Munroe takes the card and dials the number. Bobby will give this guy a what for. I thought as Munroe said. "Yeah, Assistant Director Kaiser, please." silence then he continues. "Yes, sir. Hello. It's Agent Nick Munroe. I'm calling about two of your men and a woman. Stiles, Case and Murdoch? Uh, it seems that they've been put on my case by mistake?"

His face then goes white as I fight back a smile. "No, no, no, sir. I'm not questioning...Ahhh, no sir." he said. Then he hangs up his phone then comes back over to us. "I'm sorry, guys." he said. "Just don't let it happen again." Dean said.

"Where are you at with this?" Munroe asked us. "Where are you at with this?" I asked him. "Well, I was just about to run the, uh, perps' bloodwork." Munroe said. "I already checked, dead end." Sam said. "Oh yeah?" Munroe said, an eyebrow raised. "Yeah." Sam said.

"But get this. I feel like I found something that, uh, connects all the murderers." Munroe said. "Really?" I asked and Munroe nods. "They were all banging strippers....from the same club." he replied. "You don't say!" Dean said with sarcasm and Munroe looks between us.

"What do you say we, uh, go down there and check it out?" he asked us but a part of me wasn't really buying this. "Well, here's the thing, Nick. See, we're kinda lone wolves..." Dean said but then Sam talks over him. "You know what, that sounds like an excellent idea. Just...just give me a second with my partners and we'll, uh...one sec." Sam said then he turns to me and Dean. 

"Come here." he said and we walk a few feet away from Munroe. "Dude, you two gotta stay with him." Sam tells us. "What?" Dean and I said. "Keep him outta the way." Sam said. "Why us?" I asked. "'Cause I gotta get the blood samples." Sam said.

"What the hell are we supposed to do with him?" Dean asked. "Just take him to the strip club...keep an eye out for the siren." Sam said and I sigh. "Fine, we'll do what we can." I said as Sam goes over to Roberts office.

"All right, we're taking my ride, no complaining about the tunes." Dean said as he, Munroe and I walk out on the parking lot of the hospital towards the Impala. "No way. You drive an Impala?" Munroe asked, excitedly. "Yeah." Dean said, surprised about Munroe's enthusiasm, while I eyed Munroe.

"It's a '67, right? It's a 327 four barrel." Munroe said. "Yeah, actually." said Dean, smiling. 

"It's a thing of beauty." Munroe said. "Thanks." said Dean. "How the hell did you talk the Bureau into letting you drive your own wheels?" Munroe asked as he gets into the passenger seat of the Impala before I could.

I bite my lips and sigh at this as I get into the backseat and Dean gets into the driver's. Then we drive off.

Dean, Munroe and I were sitting at a table at the club while they were taking shots, I was nursing on the beer I had. I still was suspicious of Munroe. I don't know what but something about him was just not right and I just sat there going deep into my thoughts.

"Hey, Earth to (y/n)." I hear Dean said and I look over at him. "What?" I asked him. "Were you off in Neverland or what?" Dean asked me and I shake my head. "No..I was..." I said as I glance over at Munroe, who was eyeing me. "I was just thinking over this case." I replied.

"Yeah, I was thinking that myself. I mean, how does a girl talk four different johns into murder?" Munroe asked. "It's a crazy world." Dean said. "I guess." Munroe said then he looks between us and leans forward.

"Hey, can I level with you?" He asked and we nod. "I found something kinda weird." he said. "Well. You have bought your weird to the right spot. Lay it on us." Dean said. "I went to the crime scene this morning. Saw them bagging this up." Munroe said and he hands Dean some purple petals in a plastic bag. 

"So I went back, uh, through all the files. It turns out a flower just like that was found at every crime scene." Munroe said. "Like it was left on purpose?" I asked him and Munroe nods. "You know, sometimes a serial killer will leave an object behind, like a calling card. But with this case? Tell you the truth, I got no idea what's going on." he said as I look at the flowers.

"I think I might. I've seen a flower like this before." Dean said as he looks over my shoulder at them. "Well, I'll go research it and you boys can stay here and continue to have fun, okay?" I said as I go to stand up. "You sure?" Dean asked me and I nod. "Yeah...I'll call you if I find anything." I said and Dean shrugs. "Okay..." he said and I place my hand on his shoulder. "Be careful. Try not to have too much fun." I said to him and he smiles and raises his glass.

I smile back at him then leave the club, pull out my cellphone and dial up a number. "Bobby...you know that Nick Munroe that called you earlier. I don't trust him...is there a way you could see if he really is from the FBI?" I asked him. "Way ahead of you, kiddo. I've been digging up on this Munroe guy ever since I got off of the phone with him." Bobby said.

"And?" I asked. "And there is no Munroe working for the FBI." Bobby said as I continue down the road. "That's not good." I said. "Yeah, so either he is another hunter or..." Bobby said. "Or he's the siren." I said. "It's a strong possibility. You don't think there's anyone else?" Bobby asked. "Maybe Doctor Roberts but the only thing connecting her is these flowers." I said as I hold up the bag and look at the flowers.

"What flowers?" Bobby asked me. "Uh, these purple flowers Munroe handed to me and Dean. Munroe said that these were left at each crime scenes, like a calling card." I said and there was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone. "(Y/n)...sirens don't leave flowers or any kind've evidence that they were there." Bobby said and I stop in my tracks and my heart felt like it stopped.

"Bobby, I'll call you back." I said and I hang up and run back to the club. I look around and could not find Dean and Munroe, they were gone. "Oh, crap." I muttered then I dial up Dean's phone but he doesn't answer. I run out of the club and down the street as I keep trying to call him but no answer. I try Sam and there was no answer from him either.

"Damn it." I growled and I call Bobby. "Bobby...we have a problem..." I said as I run down the street.

I made it to the hotel and run to the door of our room and could hear voices from the other side. "See what I mean? We used to be in this together. We used to have each other's backs." I hear Dean say. "OK, fine. You know why I didn't tell you or (y/n) about Ruby, and how we're hunting down Lilith? Because you're too weak to go after her, Dean. You're holding me back. I'm a better hunter than you are. Stronger, smarter. I can take out demons you're too scared to go near." I hear Sam say and I gasp at this.

"That's crap." Dean said. "You're too busy sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Whining about all the souls you tortured in hell. Boo hoo." Sam spat and I open the door. "STOP!" I shout and I see both boys about to fight and Munroe stand over to the other side of the room.

"Oh, damn. I forgot about you." Munroe said as he glares at me and the boys stare at me. "Surprise, bitch." I said with a satisfied smile. "Well, we won't be needing you anyway. The boys want me now as their partner." Munroe said as he walks up to the boys and places his left hand on Dean's shoulder and his right hand on Sam's shoulder. 

"What I have these boys is a genuine relationship. Built on trust and respect. You...you just drug people to get them to like you. It's pathetic." I sneered and Munroe's smile falters a bit as his eyes narrow at me, menacingly. Then he forms a tight smile on his lips. "You sure about that?" He said then he looks between the boys.

"Change of plans boys. Whoever kills Little Miss Perfect, gets to be with me forever." Munroe said, a gleeful glint in his eyes, and my eyes widen a bit as both Sam and Dean stalk towards me. "Sam...Dean...c'mon, You two can fight this." I said but then Sam throws a punch at me but I duck.

Both boys start to throw punches toward me and I do my best to duck and dodge but they did get a few punches in. "Boys, stop! I don't want to hurt you two." I yelled but then Dean punches me across the face, knocking me down. I land on my front then spit out some blood out of my mouth and start to push myself up off of the ground.

"Okay, you asked for it." I growled then I turn around, sharply, raised my hands and used my powers to knock the boys back. Well, Dean was knocked back but all my powers did to Sam was make him stumble back. I caught a quick glimpse of Munroe looking a bit surprised before Sam says. "Too weak." Then he comes up to me and we trade punches to each other.

"You know ever since you and Dean got together, I've been the third wheel. We don't talk as much as we used to, not as close as we used to be." Sam said then he goes to punch me. "You know that's not true." I said and we keep fighting each other.

"Sam, I'm really sorry about this." I said, sincerely, and I punch him in the stomach, making him double over, then I get down on the ground and sweep his legs with my feet, making him fall down. I get up only to be tackled down on the ground and hit the back of my head against the floor.

I shake my head and see it was Dean who tackled me and he stood over me and had an axe in his hands. Now I was terrified. 

"Dean! Dean, please fight this bitch's spell. C'mon, you're stronger than this!" I yelled. "Do it. Do it for me, Dean." Munroe said with a sound of pleasure in his voice. Dean glares at me for a moment then said. "It's your fault I was sent to hell! If you didn't get yourself killed, I wouldn't have done those things in hell!" Dean yells and he starts to raise up his axe. "I should've killed you when I came back!" Dean growls and I was so horrified at what I was hearing that I couldn't react, I froze.

But then the axe was grabbed by Bobby, who came up behind Dean, then jabs him in the shoulder with a bronze knife, making him cry out. Munroe begins to run and Bobby turns, raises the knife and flings it at Munroe

"No. NO!" Sam shouts as the knife hits Munroe square in the back and he falls over, dead.

Later, the boys were leaning against the Impala and I stand in front of them as Bobby comes up and hands us all drinks. "Thanks." Sam and I said as we accept the bottles and Dean looks at it. "Soda?" Dean said, questioning. "You three are driving, aren't ya?" Bobby asked and we shrug as we take a sip then Sam looks at me and Bobby.

"Thanks, guys. You know, if you two hadn't shown up when you guys did..." Sam said and I nod. "Done the same for me, more than once." Bobby said. "Course, (y/n) was the smart one for suspecting Munroe. She called me and we figured it out."

The boys look over at me and I give them a small smile. "Thanks, (y/n)." Sam said and I nod. "You boys woulda done the same for me." I said while I glanced over at Dean who nodded and there was an awkward silence among us. Obviously, things that were said was hanging in the air. 

"You three gunna be OK?" Bobby asked us.

"Yeah, fine."

"Yeah, good."

"Just dandy."

Bobby looks between us then tips his hat and heads back over to his car. "See ya." He said then he pauses and turns back to us. "You know, those sirens are nasty things. That it got to you, that's no reason to feel bad." He said and he gets in his car and drives away. The boys and I sip our drinks.

"You gunna say goodbye to Cara?" Dean asked Sam. "Nah, not interested." Sam said. "Really? Why not?" Dean asked him and Sam shrugs. "What's the point?" Sam said. "Well, look at you. Love 'em and leave 'em." I remarked and Sam looks at me then at Dean before he sighs.

"Guys, look, you know I didn't mean the things I said back there, right? That it was just the siren's spell talking?" he asked us as he looks between me and Dean. "Of course, me too." Dean said and he looks over at me. "I didn't mean what I said to you either." He said and I bite my lips and fold my arms across my chest. "You positive?" I asked him, suspiciously. "I swear." Dean said and I look him over, let out a sigh through my nose then nod.

Maybe I'm just in denial but I really want to believe that what Sam and Dean said to me was just the siren making them say it, especially Dean. But maybe that part of me that feels like absolute crap keeps knocking at the door in my mind and make me doubt my relationship with Dean.

​​​No! I can't think that! I love Dean and Sam. Sam is my best friend and Dean, I love him with all my heart. I thought before Sam speaks up.

"'Kay. So...so we're good?" Sam asked. "Yeah, we're good." Dean said then the boys turn to me. "(Y/n)?" Sam asked me and I think for a moment before I nod. "Yeah, sure...we're good." I said then Sam enters the backseat and I go over to the passenger seat before Dean grabs my hand.

I turn to him and stares at me with his green eyes. "You know I didn't mean it." He said to me, softly. "I know you didn't, Dean. Still just a bit jarring from hearing you say it." I replied and Dean looks down, sadly, then he looks back at me.

"I'll make it up to you. I promise." Dean said and I smirk a bit. "You better, Winchester." I said, in a lighthearted tone, then I wink and he smiles and lets go of my hand and we head inside the car.

@rach5ive @kitsun369 @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @ellie-andthemachine

[allthefoolmine]

The 2024 Men's Olympic Marathon Was Epic

Excuse me for some screaming about the 2024 Paris Olympic Men's Marathon, okay?

Cool. Under the cut 'cause this is gonna get long and enthusiastic.

So, first of all, Kenenisa Bekele, the man the myth the legend, was back at the Olympics. After twelve years. After he very nearly won the 2024 London Marathon. I was there and seated for this.

For second, I immediately developed a massive mancrush on Yaseen Abdallah. He's 22. He represents Sudan. He just graduated from college. He--get this--had never run a marathon before. (He was in the race on one of the Olympic universality places.) And said about running, "I hate hills".

let's all take a moment to remind ourselves of the brutally hilly Paris Olympic marathon course, yes? Yes.

And finally, Bat-Ochiryn Ser-Od was running his sixth Olympic marathon, which is makes my brain bleed to even think about.

I was too cheap to pay for a livestream, plus, from everything I've read, live television coverage of championship marathons is usually pretty shit. (Especially if there are men's and women's races happening at the same time. But feminist outrage about how fukkin' horrible TV coverage of women's long distance racing is, is not the point of this post.) I was following the race via the Olympic webpage, which gives 5k splits, and various major newspapers live updates. I should also say that I'm a pretty new fan of the sport and not at all a competitive runner myself, so, take all of this for what it's worth.

That marathon was ridiculous. Reasons include:

Eyob Faniel (Italy): made what seemed like a serious effort to take charge in the first half of the race. Boy did he pay for it later. But how exciting to see someone go for it.

By the end of the first half, it looked like Tamirat Tola (Ethiopia) had been like, "I'll take it from here" and seeing him win, in an Olympic record, on THAT COURSE, in those weather and humidity conditions, was frankly fucking bonkers. Like, run do not walk to watch the Eurosports coverage of the last ten minutes of the race, because the beauty and economy of that man's stride belongs in a museum.

The performance of Akira Akasaki (Japan). Bro is 26, this was his first Olympics and world championship race. He stayed in fifth place almost the entire freaking race, even with the Faniel-led craziness in the first half, and only ended up sixth when he got passed at the very end. You can see his finish in the clip above, and I implore you to watch it. Dude looks so flipping' happy, and from what I could see on the live tracker, you could set a metronome or an atomic clock by his pacing. And you can see from the video of the last ten minutes--he's running alone! There's no one with him! Again, as far as I can tell this was his first race at this level of competition. Absolute insanity. I can't wait to see what he does in the future.

Bashir Abdi got silver! After his bronze in Tokyo! What a legend. Also, Benson Kipruto was third. Both, from the live tracker, seem to have run incredible, smart races, especially in the second half.

Emil Cairess, (a Yorkshireman! Whoo!) who went from 9th at the half, to 2nd at 30k, to 6th at 35k and 40k, and finished fourth. I bet his race was epic to witness live. (And his finish is hilarious, dude looks like he left it allllll on the ice. Love to see it.)

Seeing somebody set a National Record is always exciting; seeing someone do it in heat, humidity, and hills, and come seventh in the Olympic marathon, is even cooler. Give Tebello Ramakongoana (Lesotho) all the flowers.

In the battle of Connor Mantz (USA) vs the Hurt Locker (dude looks like he went with Faniel and paid for it), the judges award Mantz the victory. He hung on for eighth.

Yaseen Abdallah, hater of hills, finished his first marathon, in 2:11 for 33rd place, setting a new national record for Sudan. My head exploded. If he ever decides to run another marathon, dude has a bright future.

Kenenisa Bekele had a rough day at the office but he finished! I was hoping to see him medal, because I'm a huge fan of his, but seeing him grind to finish 39th is inspiring. Massive respect to him. Eliud Kipchoge sadly DNF'd, and I hope he is okay.

And in last place, Bat-Ochiryn Ser-Od, finished his sixth Olympic marathon, which he was determined to do after dropping out in Tokyo. Ridiculous.

And that was the men's Olympic marathon. Bonkers from beginning to end. Cannot wait to follow the women's race tomorrow!

Last ten minutes of the race: