#the dumber the song the better

[deus-ex-mona]

my [redacted] anime parody fic really do be bringing all them bots to the yard

[adelaidebeorna]

I love my nephew and everything, but goddamn, I don’t want to watch the wiggles with you lad. 🥲

Someone save me.

[teaboot]

As someone who learnt english as a second language via textbook, I have to say "flying by the seat of my pants" is a hilarious idiom xD

It's the first time I've seen/heard it.

Could you share another one you like using?

Idk about idioms specifically, but there's a bunch of phrases I learned from my mom!

Lord love a duck! (Incredulous, like 'oh my god')

Lord suffer in sheep dip! (Sheep dip meaning sheep poop. Incredulous, but for annoying things- like 'are you kidding me?')

Is there a piano tied to your ass? ('Don't be lazy, do it yourself')

Someone's cruising for a bruising. (You're picking a fight.)

I don't give a rat's rip. ('I don't care'- a rat's 'rip' is it's butt crack.)

Pull up a stump! (Get yourself a chair, sit down.)

Everybody out of the pool! (Get out of the car)

I'm flying by the seat of my pants. (I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it.)

Don't go blowing smoke up my ass. (Don't over-compliment me, don't flatter me, don't stroke my ego, don't tell me positive lies)

Looks like it's gonna rain on our parade. (A storm is coming.)

Sorry to rain on your parade. (I've given you bad news- can be used sincerely or sarcastically to denote sympathy for incurring a bad mood.)

Better button that lip. (Stop talking.)

Someone's gonna stick a boot up your ass. ('Stick a boot up your ass'- fight you, beat you, kick your ass.)

Stick that lip out any further, and a pigeon'll shit on it. (Stop whining.)

Suck it up, buttercup. (Stop whining.)

Dumber than a fence post. (Very stupid.)

The back forty. (The wild or forested area behind a rural home. The 'forty' being forty acres, or farmland.)

Don't go begging for a fat lip. (Whatever you're saying or doing is going to bother people and get you in trouble.)

What on God's green earth (What the fuck)

I'm sweating like a pig in a porta-potty (like a pig in a plastic outhouse- I'm very warm, it's hot here)

He thinks the universe flew out of his ass. (He thinks he's more impressive than he is.)

Your mouth wrote a cheque your ass couldn't cash. (You promised more than you were capable of providing.)

You've got a horseshoe up your ass. (You're very, very lucky.)

Taking a dirt nap. (Dead.)

Pushing (up) daisies. (Dead.)

Give me forty acres to turn this rig around. (I need time and space to move this large, heavy, or unwieldy thing. Usually about navigating a vehicle. Taken from a song lyric.)

Jesus take the wheel. (God help me, I can't handle this, I give up.)

Gone belly-up. (Has died.)

We've got a floater. (This one is dead.)

Herding cats. (Trying to organize chaos, managing an impossibly complicated situation.)

I've got a black thumb. (I am bad at growing plants, all my plants die- reference to having a 'green thumb', or being good at growing plants.)

Stop trackin' floor cookies. (Floor cookies are bits of animal shit that fall off your work boots- 'tracking floor cookies' means wearing your boots in the house; take your shoes off at the door.)

Running around like a headless chicken. (Frantic, disorganized, stressed out by many tasks or panicked by a big situation.)

Spinning my wheels. (Waiting around for something to happen, getting nowhere, frustrated by inactivity, not making any progress towards a goal.)

He's gonna blow a gasket. (He's going to lose his temper, he's going to be angry.)

They'll tan your hide. (They'll punish you severely; usually through violence. Specifically in reference to a spanking.)

He's a few bricks short a load. (He's not clever / he doesn't think things through / he's crazy)

Not the sharpest tool in the shed. (Not the smartest person. Very dumb, clumsy, or absent-minded.)

I'm not going to bail you out. (Not going to save your sinking boat- not going to help you out of your bad situation.)

Looks like things are going south. (The situation is growing worse.)

I'll start making tracks. (I'll leave now, I'll start working, I'll get going.)

He's fucking the dog. (He's not being productive, he's doing a bad job, he's made things worse, he's screwing around.)

He's making puppies. (Less graphic version of 'fucking the dog'.)

Plant your ass. (Sit.)

Playing grab-ass. (Procrastinating- accomplishing nothing, slowing people down.)

He couldn't find his ass in the dark. (He's stupid, ineffective, underqualified, or incompetent.)

He couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. (He is unbelievably, comically dumb or ineffective. He can't do anything right.)

One foot in the ground. (Dying, or half-dead.)

I'm kicking rocks. (I'm not doing anything productive.)

I'm hauling ass. (I'm running away.)

Madder than a wet hen. (Very, very angry.)

Like I said I'm not sure that these are all idioms but they're all the phrases and sayings from my childhood that I can remember right now

EDIT: Cannot BELIEVE I forgot my mom's favourite

52. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which gets filled first. (Wishes don't come true by themselves)

Plus some more I forgot:

53. You make a better door than a window. (You're in the way of my view.)

54. You can take a long walk off a short pier. (Go fuck yourself.)

55. He's about as sharp as a bowling ball. (He's stupid.)

56. Scoot your poot. (Move over.)

57. Not my first rodeo. (I know what I'm doing.)

58. He's built like a brick shithouse. (He's broad and sturdy and very strong, solid.)

59. I smell bacon. (I saw a cop nearby.)

60. I don't want to hear a peep. (Stop talking.)

61. You're thinking with the wrong head. (You're making bad decisions because you're horny.)

62. I'd lose my ass/head if it wasn't tied on. (I'm very absent-minded, forgetful.)

63. That went down like a lead balloon. (That situation was bad.)

[lxnarmoons]

imagining your relationship with ateez!

a/n: i apologize this is so long..... i like to imagine!! i hope you enjoy :3

KIM HONGJOONG→ - this man will write you love songs - ballads, raps, hiphop, yada yada, he'll write songs about you in his freetime - you're on his mind 24/7 so he expresses his ideas with his writing! - depending on your native language, he'll learn it just for you. i def can see him wanting to learn every little thing about you because he loves you - he'll paint your nails for you :D - you once told him you were interested in starting fashion, so he began designing clothes with you - watching him work is amazing, he's kind of a workaholic - when hongjoong is exhausted from working in the studio, you'll sit with him, either sitting in his lap or just being there with him - your presence seems to wipe all the stress off of him - he loves compliments but gets so flustered when you compliment him back - "you're so cute, y/n..." "you're cuter, joongie!" "ohmygody/nstopit" - music brought you two together and it'll keep you two bonded - after he's done working on a few songs, he'll take you to the recording studio so you both can make demos for them!

PARK SEONGHWA→ - seonghwa is lowkey the prince of your dreams. - i know i know i KNOW if you're having a bad day, he'll hold you tight and sing to you, maybe your favorite songs - forehead kisses, making sure you're alright - i feel like out of all the members, he knows how to listen and comfort you - he will do anything that makes you happy. trust me. - "hi, lovey!" he is such a lovey-dovey man.... - bro is HEAD OVER HEELS in love with you!!! and isn't afraid to show it!!!!! - i know he's a sucker for when you call him "hwa," it makes him feel giggly or osmething - if seonghwa's away on tour, he always makes it a priority to call you every night - "dude, not right now, i'm trying to call y/n..." - he just wants to hear your voice, it helps him fall asleep.... you're just so comforting to him - tbh i see him as a little shy when he's with you because he sees you as this really really cool person - especially in front of the other members and they like to tease him - but (I WOULD HOPE) you're really sweet and always know how to make him feel better!

JEONG YUNHO→ - do dog cafes exist? because if so, that would be where you and him left - yunho would LITERALLY wake you up by singing that one song uhhh what's it called - "you are my sunshine / my only sunshine" idk - because yunho is so damn tall, he's kinda like your cuddle buddy - literally he will trap you in his chest while you two are together (big broad chest) - he's soft and gentle; head pats, small kisses everywhere and anywhere - maybe more likely on your neck??/ if that makes you uncomfy, he loves kissing your knuckles - OMG and that cringey thing like kissing your knuckles everytime he sees you - "good morning, princess" - princess treatment princess treatment princess treatment all from mr. jeong yunho!! - mingi finds it incredibly cringey but it's so funny.... he tells yunho to shut up but it never works in the end because yunho will simply kiss your lips to be quiet while you laugh - he loves pda and isn't afraid to show you off to the other members :) always will make you known, no matter what - "guys, this is my partner, y/n. say hi!"

KANG YEOSANG→ - depending on if you like to talk or not, you and yeosang will always be a pair, he listens to you and you listen to him :3 - he's also a little oblivious but it's kind of funny n cute - HELP he's def the most overprotective in terms of your safety - "Y/N, LOVE, I SWEAR-- DO NOT EAT THAT." - you and yeo would be the dumb/dumber duo (IM SORRY THIS IS JUST HOW I THINK OF IT) - you two can be roblox buddies!! - blind leading the blind.... - he likes to run his hands through your hair, maybe braid it (probably really badly.) - he will force you to watch the goofiest cartoons ever. - "y/n-y/n-y/n-y/n-y/n i wanna watch my little pony" or something (mlp is so good) 😭 - rainy day dates!!! - he def has the most atrocious .5s of you in his camera roll.... and vice versa - he's usually really quiet with you.... most of the time it'll just be you and him listening to music - yeosang is your biggest fan boy!! - profession or not, he'll always be cheering you on - "you're doing so good, baby!" and "i love you sososososo much"

CHOI SAN→ - babe. trust me. babe. - he likes to call you babe no matter the time, setting, blah blah blah. he over uses it so much that the members begin to like gag.... - babe and baby !! the other members dont mind baby as much but wooyoung will kick his balls if he says it too much - he loves hand placement. hand on the waist, hand on thighs, hands on butt COUGH COUGH COUGH - san always strives for your comfort! hes the kinda guy who knows what you like and dont like, so when he sees you're uncomfy, it's like a zap and boom- - "baby, you okay?" and if you aren't, "let's get outta here. it's not important." - he could be in the most important meeting of your life and would be more concerned about you!! - imagine late nights with san: romance, horror, comedy movies, whatever they might be, he just wants to stay up late - after the movie's over, you'll either watch another one or you'll simply talk about everything and nothing - cuddles. head on his chest, both of you maybe scrolling on your phones, sorta ignoring each other but enjoying each other's presence - he's very overprotective.... like touch her wrong and i'll beat u up idk - like yeosang, he likes rainy days. dates will involve just watching the rain and giggling stupidly

SONG MINGI→ - NOW IMAGINE THIS MAN MAKING YOU BREAKFAST IN BED - stumbling out of the kitchen in the morning, seeing mingi in the kitchen with his smile - "hi bubba, you hungry?" - I CAN SEE HIM AS BUBBA BECAUSE LIKE he thinks its funny - (me personally) calling him bubba back and pinching his cheeks which makes him giggle - mingi's definitely likes to keep your relationship more private - it'd probably be out there but i feel like he mostly keeps your activities to yourselves (unlike wooyoung.....) - he likes to press his forehead to yours and hold you close to him, mostly because he feels the connection... he likes listening to your heartbeat - so he likes laying on your chest!! he's often dozing off there..... - mingi likes to tease you a lot but always knows your limits, making sure that he doesn't cross any boundaries and accidentally hurting you - IF you have any sort of trauma and/or bad experiences in the past, he likes to listen and just let you vent - when he's writing songs for ateez, he likes to take you with him on the journey - especially if he's recording any new demos!! he'll take you to the recording studio, like hongjoong!!

JUNG WOOYOUNG→ - jung wooyoung is the goddamn most obnoxious person ever - like san, he likes to make it known that you n him are a thing, just not in that overprotective way - arm around your waist or shoulders, yapping to whoever - "hey guys have you met my lovely lovely partner...." - i personally don't see him as a nick/petname kinda guy but if i haddd to guess i would say probably one of those really cringey ones like cupcake..... oh he would def text like that - "hi cupcake" "open your door pls" LMAO - but most of the time he uses your name because he likes it ! - "Y-NNNNN!!" - i see him as a very good listener and somehow always giving the best advice when you need it - he loves spooning you because he gets worried you'd just vanish (idk i see it) but would lowk hold u tightly 😭 - one time he tried to cook for you but ended up setting the ateez stove on fire (hongjoong beat his ass) he wouldn't stop pouting so you forced him to cuddle!!! - yap sessions 24/7, especially if you like to yap - it'd be going back and forth LOL - he also learned how to braid hair for you!! depending if youre fem, masc, or anything else, he likes to braid hair and learned especially for you :)

CHOI JONGHO→ - i just know this man would call you honey - maybe even sweetie but i feel like he would call you honey more - "sweetie, have you eaten today?" jsjgdljklgjksdLJJLKGSADLJ - he would definitely be shy about using it in public, he's not too big on pda, but i think he would warm up to calling you honey/sweetie in front of the others - they lowk tease him and he gets flustered (what a cutueiiee) - even though he might not like touching, i have a feeling he would like cuddling in private - he loves those moments between just you and him - genuinely i can see his favorite date being the photobooths..... like imagine putting bear ears on him and that gummy smile of his jklldsgds :c - he loves to see you smile and laugh, so even if he despises the ears or whatever accessories you force on him, he can't help but laugh along because he loves to see you happy - if you're sad, he'll do all this goofy stuff just to make you smile - jongho, like all members, is constantly making sure you're okay, like "how did you sleep?" n "are you feeling okay?" - GENTLEMANnnNNN - karaoke nights are just filled with him singing you love songs - help i cant remember if he likes to cook but if he does he would cook (like mingi!!) - he likes forehead kisses. case closed.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Put it in your mouth

Written for @steddiesmuttyseptember, week 1

Prompts: Make-Up Sex & Pillow Princess

Words: 1,191

Tags: Friends to lovers; Idiots to lovers; Anal Fingering; Oral Sex; Anal Sex; Power Bottom Steve; Service Top Eddie

Notes: Eddie "Foot in Mouth" Munson strikes again. He's putting so many things in his mouth in this one. Get it? (God, I'm hilarious.) 🤭

The sky is turning bright when Eddie crunches to a brake in Steve's driveway. He swings open his door and is halfway up the front porch when he stops.

He shouldn't be here, the nagging voice at the back of his mind says. Between the jitters before the tv gig and interview and everything that happened after, he hasn't slept in close to forty-eight hours. He can't exactly be trusted to make rational decisions, and even if he could, who's saying Steve wants to see him?

Eddie curses, replaying the memory that has been plaguing him the entire way here. He called Steve the second he returned to the hotel, grinning from ear to ear like the idiot that he is.

“Did you watch it?” he blurted the moment the call connected. 

“Yeah,” Steve said. The curt answer could've clued Eddie in, but he was still high on adrenaline and applause, so it didn't. 

“I dunno about you,” he sing-songed, flopping down on the bed and twirling the phone cord. “But I'd say that went pretty fucking fantastic.” 

“Fantastic?” Steve repeated dryly. “Yeah, right. Glad you think so, you fucking asshole.” 

Eddie stopped playing with the cord. 

“Stevie?” he croaked. “What's wrong?” 

Steve laughed. “If you don't know that, you're dumber than I thought.” 

Then he hung up. Eddie was left in his hotel room, staring dumbly at the receiver. When he tried to call back, Steve didn't pick up. 

Eddie wasted the better part of an hour lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. Why was Steve mad at him? Ever since the beginnings of their unlikely, Upside Down forged friendship, he'd been fervently supportive of Eddie’s music. Showing up to his gigs, listening until late into the night while Eddie worked on new songs. Hell, he'd probably been more nervous about this whole thing than Eddie, seeing him off with a lingering hug and a promise to talk to him later. 

It must’ve been something he said at the interview, but what? Eddie scowled as he rehashed every single question and answer.

Where did he get the inspiration for his songs? He’d spouted some bullshit about ostracization and alienation and smalltown conventions, because the truth would’ve meant breaking about a million NDAs. 

Was he excited about the upcoming tour and album? Yes, obviously, he couldn’t wait to see all those different places, play in front of all sorts of people. 

Was there somebody at home rooting for him? A special girl maybe? Nope, nobody, he was happily single and planning on staying that- … wait. 

Eddie shot up from the bed so suddenly he gave himself vertigo, letting out a very loud and very colorful string of swear words. In the room next to his, someone banged on the wall, asking if he had any clue what time it was. Eddie didn't. He also didn't pause to find out. 

Now, a hasty check-out and one speed-limit-defying drive later, he’s staring at Steve’s front door, all previous courage slowly seeping out of him. 

Maybe he got this all wrong. Maybe he's imagining this. He has experience with imagining things - has spent countless nights fantasizing about what it would feel like, touching Steve as more than a friend. The feel of Steve’s lips, the taste of Steve’s skin. Maybe he should leave, come back with a clear head tomorrow, so that they can talk this over like the sensible adults they-

“Shit, Eddie?” 

The door is open, spilling light onto the porch. At the center of it, nail bat in one hand, disheveled hair back-lit in caramel and gold, is Steve. He's in his sleep clothes - checkered boxers and one of Eddie’s old band shirts that he stole months ago. Those pretty eyes are large with surprise, but when Eddie takes a hesitant step towards him, Steve’s expression closes off. 

“I don't believe you,” he mutters, and makes to close the door. Eddie acts on impulse alone, bridging the distance and wedging his foot into the crack. Steve glowers at him. “What the fuck do you want?” 

“You,” Eddie breathes , and closes the gap. 

From one second to the next, all of his doubts evaporate, because this right here? This is all he's ever wanted. They crash into the wall of the foyer, nail bat clattering to the floor, and Eddie spends a glorious few minutes reveling in the heady rush of Steve’s lips on his, Steve's mouth opening for his tongue, Steve’s nails clawing into his back. 

When they part, Steve is deliciously flushed, lips shiny and slightly parted, ragged puffs of breath tickling Eddie’s skin. 

“Want you,” Eddie repeats. “Fuck, Stevie, I've wanted you for so long. I'm such an idiot, I never-” 

“Prove it then,” Steve says. His arms loop around Eddie’s neck, slotting them further together, and Eddie gasps as his cock presses against his thigh - a long, hard weight through the thin fabric of his shorts. “If you want me so much, show me just how desperate you are.” 

*

“More. Deeper. C'mon, or are you tired already?” 

Eddie moans around an aching jaw. He isn't tired, he's in heaven. There's drool running down his chin, his tongue and neck and shoulders are on fire, but Steve is here with him, sprawled against the headboard like a king, spread out for him like a feast. 

Steve fists one hand into the curls at the back of his head, shoving him back down on his cock, and Eddie swallows him down in one greedy gulp, eager to show his devotion. Looking up at Steve through tear-clouded eyes, he pushes his fingers deeper inside, curling them to hit that sweet spot. Steve gasps and clenches around him, eyes fluttering shut, head tipping back to reveal that long neck. The taste of precum floods Eddie’s tongue, salty and delicious, and he moans around the cock lodged in his throat. Lust coils painfully in his stomach, shooting up his spine like red-hot sparks, and his naked cock throbs with it. 

“Please,” he says, pulling off with an obscene, wet sound. Steve looks down at him, brows raised, eyes bright and glassy with arousal. “Please, Stevie, I need-” 

“Huh,” Steve says, and Eddie can tell he's trying to sound unimpressed, even with the way it comes out around a shaky moan. “You think you've earned it?” 

Eddie smiles. 

“Me?” he says. He swirls his tongue around Steve’s leaking tip, reveling in the whine he gets when he pulls his fingers out. “Oh, honey, this isn't about me. This is all about you.” 

He licks and bites his way up Steve's hip bones, his stomach, that glorious chest and neck, drinking in every little gasp, every shuddering breath. 

“All that time you spent waiting for me to finally get it? I think you've earned it. You deserve to be spoiled rotten. You deserve to feel so good. Please, baby, let me make you feel good.”

“Asshole,” Steve says, but this time, it's full of fondness. “You always know what to say, huh?” 

“Not always,” Eddie murmurs against his mouth, greedily swallowing Steve’s moan as he pushes in. “Only when it matters most.” 

More smutty September

[alphajocklover]

What about a story about a sweet, kind 30something gay college English professor who wishes to get closer to his students so he wishes to be more like them. Only he turns into the worst version of himself. His turned into this younger, dumber toxic straight bro. A total docuhebag sleazebag or something. Instead of singing showtunes he's rattling off terrible jokes or rock n roll/rap songs.

Sam McGreen was a professor. A real, actual professor. He still couldn’t really wrap his head around it. It wasn’t that Sam thought that teaching was beneath him or anything, he had never really seen himself as the teaching type. Despite being a fairly successful writer whose murder mystery series had gained him a cult following, he was terribly shy when it came to public speaking. It was why he always avoided writers panels and interviews, which had sadly only increased the amount of speaking offers he got. People loved the ‘mysterious recluse’ persona he had accidentally created, and everyone wanted to be the first to get the inside scoop. Sam wouldn’t have even thought about taking the job offer to become a professor if he didn’t desperately need money. He had come down with a horrible case of writer's block, so the writing of his next book had unfortunately come to a halt, and even with the sales and royalties he got from the books he had already written, it wasn’t going to be enough to pay for the wedding. Sam had recently gotten engaged to his longtime boyfriend Micheal, and the wedding that had planned was looking… expensive. They had tried to keep it small, but both had romantic hearts and expensive taste, so it ended up getting out of hand. So, desperate for a more steady cash flow, Sam had accepted the offer to teach. He wasn’t sure what he was doing. He knew he was going to fuck this up. But… maybe he was overreacting? It wasn’t like he was teaching kindergarten. These were college students, mature adults who paid to be there. Surely they wouldn’t be that bad, right?

It took less than 5 minutes for Sam to realize how horribly wrong he was. These people were savages! He knew the school had a bit of a reputation as a ‘party school’, but he hadn’t expected it to be this bad. No one in the class seemed to take anything he said seriously. The male students, who mostly seemed to be athletic jocks, were constantly telling crude jokes, laughing obnoxiously, flexing and harassing the few students who actually wanted to be there. The few female students who hadn’t left in disgust just giggled at the nearest jocks jokes vapidly and flirted with them. No one paid attention to a thing Sam said the entire class. Sam spent all of his first class stuttering over words, getting embarrassed by his own lack of experience, and being either ignored by or laughed at by his meathead students. By the end of the day Sam felt completely lost. Every class had been the same as his first, just as embarrassing and pathetic. Sam didn’t understand what he was doing wrong? At first he thought he had just got unlucky with his first class but as the day had progressed Sam started to wonder if something was wrong with him. It couldn’t be that all the classes were filled with bad students. Maybe he was overreacting. It was only his first day after all, but he couldn’t shake this feeling that he was messing this up. Maybe if he could understand these kids better he’d be able to teach better. He had gone to college himself, but he had spent most of his free time working on his first novel. He didn’t really get the same college experience that most people did, and now it was coming back to bite him in the ass. It was late when Sam left, having stayed late to work on his curriculum. As he walked through campus to his car, he looked up at the sky and saw a particularly bright star. He stared at it for a moment, fascinated. Without even meaning to, he wished on the star. He wished to understand his students better. As he did so his eyes stayed transfixed on the star, which grew brighter and brighter.

And, in a flash, everything was different.

Sam woke up slowly the next morning, his head pounding as he did. What the heck had happened last night? He felt like he had the worst hangover ever. He got up from his bed and stumbled over to the bathroom, splashing water in his face. As his headache began to diminish into a dull throb, Sam looked in the mirror, and felt his brain short circuit. Something was wrong. Really wrong. For some reason it took him a moment to notice but… he had completely changed.

The thirty year old author looked like he was in his early twenties again, and was suddenly in much better shape than he had been before, even in his actual twenties. His eyes trailed down his strong biceps and defined abs, both in fascination and shock. He wanted to yell for his fiancée, but instead he felt himself smirk without meaning to. Without even thinking about it he lifted up his biceps and flexed, reveling in his own body. Sam didn’t understand what was going on. It was like he couldn’t control his body. Someone else was in control now.

As the other Sam, who Sam and everyone else had dubbed Green, went about his day it became apparent that Sam had gotten his wish in the worst way possible. He now understood his students perfectly, because he was just like them. A cock, arrogant, toxic, straight jock. He understood what it was like to find classes taught by pathetic professors boring as shit. He understood how it felt to party with an entire frat full of manly bros. He understood what it felt like to fuck a pussy, not caring how the bitch felt and only caring about how great his cock felt. Sam now knew exactly what it felt like to be one of his students, and he hated it. He couldn’t stop himself though. He was trapped, slowly losing himself to the new identity. Eventually Sam would forget he was anyone but Green. He convinced himself Sam was all just some weird dream. Why would he want to be some dumbass author when he was a fucking college stud?

[thatdeadaquarius]

Episode two of us teleported to genshin and we just play prank on everyone and causing havoc cuz y not <33

Secretly swapping venti and kaeya's vintage wine with the freshest grape juice *evil laugh*

Randomly singing niki minaj and megan thee stalion lyrics in random places <3

WE WOULD BUILD A TREE HOUSE NEAR WINDRISE AND LIVE TOGETHER YAYAYAY

Living that cottage core dream <3

YOU KNOW WE WOULD BITCH

i like to think we'd fufill every genshin fans chaotic dreams if we got yoinked to genshin lol

(obviously, seriously, sorry for replying way too late to this ;-; )

ur talking abt harmless pranks, and while yes we would need to do all of those, im talking abt figuring out how to trick Zhongli into running into Neuvillette LMAOO

ok but the Windrise idea is lowkey genius, i mean if Hilichurls can accomplish structures surely so can we, u know what i subscribe to tho? Treehouses/cool houses in every nation 👌

like cool mountain home for Liyue/inazuma could literally have a house for every island/sumeru would be yet another most epic treehouses/I WOULD LIKE TO HANG OUT/LIVE IN ONE OF THE PYRAMIDS!! not all of them have dead ppl in them i don't think (in teyvat not earth💀)

Im a personal favorite of not just singing nicki minaj songs/2000s party songs, but blasting them thruout Fontaine’s speakers 👍

OR EVEN BETTER-

blasting unhinged music thru the speakers of the CLOCKWORK MEKA, no matter where Fontainians go they can’t escape shit like, “REESES PUFFS REESES PUFFS EAT EM UP EAT EM UP EAT EM UP”

(i like to think our phones would come with/always be at 100% bc we’re “inside the video game” too)

i just posted ur other idea abt this, but telling the Akademiya/Fontaine vision users abt powerpoint nights, and just sitting back with popcorn/genshin food so we can watch the show lol

idk if u saw it for Lantern rite this year, but how mountain shaper and moon carver accidentally messed with cloud retainer by flying kites in her territory? i would give the adepti even more funny gifts so they'd unintentionally prank Each Other lmao

Giving unhinged novel ideas to Yae Miko would also be great, like the beef between Zhongli/Rex Lapis and Venti/Barbatos but enemies to lovers fanfic 💀

she’d print it too lol

(oh god i don't even wanna think abt how much more insane we’d seem if they thought we were their Creators/above the gods 😭 be gods of chaos more like lol)

tysm for all ur big brain ideas orah, 10/10 would love driving Teyvat crazy if we were both there irl

i hope u have a great week!! :D

Safe Travels,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko

@kiyomi-uchiha777

[c1tr1sfl0w3rs]

Soft!dark!Ethan Landry x pastors!daughter!reader P2

18+ NSFW P1

Your father was a man of God. He taught you the bible and what was right and what was wrong. What happened between you and Ethan, went against everything he had ever taught you.

After it happened you were overwhelmed with guilt, you even took off your purity ring because you couldn't be a liar on top of a whore.

Ethan was a gentleman, which surprised you. The words of your father echoed in your head "Never give it up to a boy before marriage, because once they have what they want they'll leave you looking like a foolish whore." He wasn't like that, he went above and beyond for you, little gifts every day flowers, chocolates or coffee. Ethan reassured you, that what you did together was normal and there was nothing to be ashamed of. He even stayed when you found out you were pregnant. (Of course you didn't know this is what he had wanted.)

You were panicking, how were you going to tell your father? You couldn't get rid of the baby, and lord Ethan stood by you the whole time. He said he would support any choice you made but told you he wanted to keep it, and raise the baby together.

Both of you had made up your mind, you were keeping the baby, which means you had to tell your father. So you decided to soften the blow by calling your mother and arranging a dinner, you said it was so they could meet your boyfriend. The happy giggles from your mother lessened your anxiety, she would be more understanding than your dad, and she would calm him down, get him to forgive you when the time came.

--------------------------------------------------

The dinner was surprisingly pleasant. Ethan and your mother were getting along good, your father was in a better mood than you thought he would be. As the dinner was wrapping up Ethan volunteered to help your mom with the dishes giving you room to talk to your father.

"So daddy, what do you think of him?" Your voice came out stronger than you expected. "He seems like a good kid, I'm just not sure about him yet." The whole dinner you had been very careful about not drawing attention to your hands, so no one would notice your absent ring.

"Dad, I have to tell you something very important. Please promise me you won't be mad?" He looked at you curiously. "Honey I could never stay mad at you, you can tell me anything." Liar, you knew he was lying but you couldn't avoid telling him the truth any longer. "I'm pregnant, and it's Ethan's." You said so quietly you didn't think he heard you, however the way his whole body became tense told you he did.

He put a hand over his eyes, sprt of squeezing his temples. He did some sort of chuckle, your anxiety heightened. You could feel this was about to get ugly. "So that son of a bitch inside made a liar and whore outta my daughter?" He asked so calmly and your tears began to fall. "I'm sorry dad, but he loves me and said he'd stick by me no matter what, he's a good guy."

"So if any guy told you that you'd just spread your legs for them, you're dumber than I thought." The tears turned into sobs at that point. He stood up and made his way into the kitchen. You could hear your father yelling obscenities at Ethan, and Ethan trying to calm him down. Your mother also began to raise her voice telling your dad to back down. All you could do was cry though. What had you expected? This was the consequences of your actions. As the yelling got worse you couldn't take it anymore and went to go sit on the porch.

The warm air felt freeing. The setting sun comforting you, the chirping birds song distracting you from your thoughts and the shouts from inside.

It was a while before your mother beckoned you back inside where she took a seat at the dining table next to you father and across from Ethan. Who you say next to, the second you were sat he took your hand and ran his calming thumb over the back of your hand.

"Sweetheart, your father and I were talking about it and he compromised on a solution. We'll support you both through this if you get married." Your father wouldn't look you in the eye and you knew he would probably disown you if you said no. The problem was you didn't know if that's what Ethan wanted. The both of you were so young and you didn't kno-

Ethan's voice cut you out of your thoughts. "I want to, I'll do it if you want to baby." His attention now turned to you.

Those pesky tears came back and you fell into his arms. He held you so tight but not on a suffocating way, in a way that the ache in your heart lessened.

"We want to get married." Your voice finally spoke, it was shaky and scratchy from crying but it was there.

"Oh honey" your mom came over and hugged you tight. "It'll have to be a quick wedding, but this is so amazing, welcome to the family Ethan."

--------------------------------------------------

The wedding was indeed fast, before you started showing. It was simple but beautiful, your side of the family was surprised but supporting.

Your father had been practically silent since that dinner. At least towards you, but when he walked you down the aisle he gave you a quick hug before letting you go and you knew he had forgiven you.

The ceremony was short and sweet, Ethan's vows were breathtaking, they made you cry. You felt your vows were enough but nothing compared to his. You had your first kiss as wife and husband. Ethan was an aweful dancer, he almost made you fall multiple times. His warm hands over yours as you cut the cake together and fed it to eachother.

You were over the moon and after the wedding was over Ethan took you back to your shared apartment. As you both took off layers of your complex yet beautiful outfits he began to speak.

"Bunny you were so pretty today, had to hold myself back from bending you over and splitting you open on my cock in front of everyone." He came up behind you massaging your shoulders then he leaned real close to your ear "Do you want me to split you open? Make you cry and come until you're all dumb in the head?" His tone was so condescending but the way his breath tickled your cheek. You felt warmth spreading through you, the kind only he knows how to pull from you. "Please Ethan, please please plea-" He laughed, hands that were once massaging your shoulders now pulling down the straps of your gown. Letting it fall to the floor. "Begging already and I haven't even done anything, it's ok I know how desperate you get. Go wait on the bed for me wifey."

You say on the bed patiently waiting for your husband to come take care of you, like he always did. The hormones from the baby made you need him so much it almost hurt.

He finally came in. Only wearing his dress pants. He looked so good, his exposed upper half. His chocolate curls and that mischievous look in those puppy eyes.

"Look at you baby. God you're so pretty."

He walked towards you until he stood between your open legs. Ethan leaned down and you met his lips in a hungry kiss. His tongue lead yours and you moaned into his mouth.

He broke the kiss and gave you the most sinful smile. He fell to his knees, his head leaned against your pillow like thighs. He kissed up and down your legs. Sucking a mark right next to your core.

"Bunny you're so wet." He said as he pulled your panties to the side, your slit dripping for him. He licked a stripe up your folds and you let out a broken moan.

He started to suck on your clit as his fingers teased your opening. It felt so good, there was no way this could be a sin. The man has to be an angel.

His long thick fingers pushed into you and curled up, hitting that special spot. Your thighs tightened around his head as you moaned and moaned.

He ate you like a starved man, getting you closer to that edge. "Oh Ethan, I'm gonna-" You couldn't even say it. The wave of euphoria engulfed you. You clenched around him and he helped you ride it out, but he didn't stop after you came no he kept going at the same pace. He lapped at your clit and fucked you with his fingers. "It's too much, Ethan please." You tried to pull away but his hand on your hip kept you anchored. "I'm not done with you. You can take it." He said quickly then went back to devouring you. The second orgasm came embarrassingly quickly, and somewhat painfully. You were so overstimulated but he just kept going.

Your head was foggy, all you could do was moan. Ethan had been between your legs for what seemed like forever. You don't even know how many times you had come. "Etha- oh God please I can't" you said, voice scratchy as you tried to get away from his overwhelming touch. He didn't say anything, just sped up his efforts between your legs. You came again, except this time you squirted in his mouth. He made sure none of it went to waste, and finally he moved away from your sore pussy. He looked at you like you were the most precious thing ever, and to him you were. Legs shaking like a baby deer, tears down your face and a cute gushing pussy. You were his own paradise. He looked just as disheveled, your slick running down his chin, curls a mess from you tugging on them and his aching dick, bulging out of his dress pants.

He pulled his pants and boxers down, and held onto his aching cock. The tip flushed red leaking precum. Then he slid your sticky panties down your trembling legs. "Hope you didn't think I was done yet bunny. Need to feel your sweet pussy." You moaned at his words and knew you were gonna feel him for days after this.

He gave you no warning, he just pushed inside you, your previous orgasms making it easy. He let out a pathetic moan as he began to fuck you at a brutal pace. His hips pistoning into yours. His pubic bone hitting your sensitive clit and his balls slapping against your ass. You couldn't think or feel anything but him, not even noticing you were drooling all over your sheets. "Awh poor baby can't even take my cock without going dumb even though she was begging for it earlier." He felt you clenching on his dick and knew he wasn't gonna last with the way your pussy was sucking him in. He lifted your legs from around his waist and placed them on his shoulders. The new angle making you cry out. His brutal pace didn't stop as he circled your clit. You came hard and he fucked you through it, and finally he painted your inside with his cum. "You did so good for my bubby, I love you, now let's get you cleaned up." He said but as he saw his cum trickle out of you he pushed it back in with two fingers. "Gotta make sure my baby stays nice and full with my cum."

As he cleaned you with a wet rag he couldn't help but smile, his plan had went much better than he thought. You now had his last name, with a ring on your finger and a baby in your belly. He didn't think your parents would demand the two of you get married but it made keeping you so much easier. He was gonna make sure that after you gave birth to his first child that you were pregnant again. He was gonna keep you nice and filled with babies <3

AHSJSJSN Ethan brain rot, hope you enjoyed and let me know what you wanna see next.

Sunny out ✌️

[laundrybiscuits]

“Eddie,” Robin says, eyes wide in a way that means trouble. “Edward Munson, I sincerely hope your last will and testament is in order, because you are going to completely and totally die when I tell you who just got hired at Scoops Ahoy.”

Eddie groans. “Don’t tell me Tammy Thompson is giving up on her Nashville dreams.”

“No, I hate you, shut up forever, you’ll never guess.” Robin pauses, then in a dramatic whisper she’s definitely picked up from Eddie himself, says: “Steve Harrington.”

“Jesus. No shit?”

“Yeah, I have to train him. Oh my god it’s the worst. He’s so bad at, like, everything.”

She shoves at his shoulder until he moves out of the doorway of the trailer, and flings herself backwards onto his couch. “Like! Okay! I showed up to my shift thinking it would be a completely normal day in which I would be bored out of my skull distributing frozen dairy products to the flotsam and jetsam of Hawkins, and Ned’s like, hey Robin, you’re showing the new guy the ropes today. And then that freaking jackass has the freaking nerve to say—” Her voice drops a full register. “Uhh, nice to meet you, I’m Steve. Nice to meet you! God!”

Eddie cringes sympathetically, sucking air between his teeth. There’s a special kind of indignity to being so completely and utterly below the radar of Hawkins High royalty, even former bearers of the crown. It’s not as if Hawkins is a big town; Eddie’s pretty sure he could pick every single person in the graduating classes of ‘84 and ‘85 out of a crowd. He’ll probably be able to do it for ‘86 too, though he’s trying not to think about it too hard. So he’ll be a senior again (again) this fall, whatever. It’s fine. It’s whatever.

Once in a while, he wastes some time really, really wishing he’d gotten to know Robin earlier in the year. Maybe even last year. For undying friendship reasons, yeah, but also because with her in his corner, he might’ve actually passed enough of his classes to fucking graduate on his second fucking try.

But he’d only actually met her, like actually met her for real instead of passing her in the hall sometimes, when he’d let himself get suckered into rejoining band. It wasn’t like he could’ve brought his guitar in, but he let it slip to Miss Genovese that he could read music and keep time, and they needed someone to wallop the bass drum, and he figured a little experience fucking around with percussion might be the one thing he could salvage from the year. He’d just…been so goddamn tired of feeling stuck, spinning his wheels. Music was something he could actually handle; something he could actually get better at. Something he could master. He's man enough to admit he needed a win.

The actual songs were all stuffy Holst and Sousa numbers, but they’d had some fun technical bits he spent his evenings hammering out for a couple weeks. And then right around the point when he’d gotten good enough to get bored and think about quitting like last time, it had somehow wound up that shooting the shit with the gangly weirdo in the trumpet section was one of the best parts of his day. Unfortunately, by the time they’d gotten close enough for her to start bullying him about homework and shit, it had been way too late to save his chance at walking that ‘85 stage with assholes like Steve fucking Harrington.

Not that Harrington would’ve even noticed, apparently.

“Anyway, the one singular saving grace about the entire situation is that he looks even dumber in the sailor costume than I do, so at least that will make me feel better about my life until he gets fired for burning down the ice cream freezer or something like that. Eddie, I cannot stress this enough: he is so bad at this job.”

Eddie very tactfully does not bring up the litany of screw-ups that Robin’s admitted to over the last couple weeks since she started at Scoops; he just says, “Buckley, it sounds to me like you might be in need of some quality relaxation time this fine evening. I can offer you a nice cold beer, some herbal refreshment…or a fiendishly weird new song to learn with an intro riff that'll make you cry.”

Robin, inveterate nerd of his heart, sits up immediately and chirps, “New song, please!” just like he knew she would. She’s going to run off and elope with his acoustic one of these days, and he’s not even mad about it.

“Coming right up, m’lady,” says Eddie. “I promise this entire Harrington situation will be over before you know it, and neither of us will ever have to think about him again.”

(ETA: First chapter of this fic has been edited/expanded and posted on AO3)

[dlscenarios]

All Too Well - Tooru Oikawa x Reader | Haikyuu

Is this inspired by All Too Well by Taylor Swift? Yes. Yes it is. That's my current favorite song.

In middle school, Tooru Oikawa realized his dream of being the best at volleyball. He refused to believe that anyone could be better than him. In high school, he wasted no time in joining the team and worked harder than anyone. Come his second year, he started feeling comfortable with his position.

That was the year he met you.

Something about Oikawa is that when he falls for someone, he falls hard. The first year of your relationship was filled with romantic dates, constant sleepovers, and lots of PDA. He'd make sure you would always have a front row seat to every one of his games, dedicating all of his serves to you. He treated you like royalty.

The start of his third year started off the same, except now Tooru was getting recognized by professionals since he was close to graduating. He had a promising future ahead of him and he had wanted to spend it with you. However, Karasuno, a rival school, had gotten stronger since Aoba Johsai last played them. Oikawa fell into a routine of ignoring your texts, opting to train until every muscle in his body was sore and Iwaizumi had to threaten him to go home. In lieu of sleep, he would analyze Karasuno's video tapes to see their usual strategies.

If you watched the team during practice, Oikawa rarely ever smiled. His voice remained as warm as ever, but his jovial expression was replaced with a terrifying glare. The Tooru you had fallen in love with seemed to have disappeared.

After practice, the two of you would walk home together. What once was a way for Oikawa to cheerfully ramble to you alone had become him speeding past you with a quiet scowl.

You jogged to catch up with him, "Tooru."

"Yeah?" He refused to look at you or slow down.

"What's wrong? You're not as cheery as you usually are."

He sighed, "Nothing's wrong. Just stressed."

"I'm worried about you though. You've been doing nothing but practicing for days on end. You should take a break."

Oikawa finally slowed down before replying, "I can't! This is our final time to go to nationals in high school. If I let Karasuno beat us..."

"It'll be okay if you don't go to nationals! I know it'll hurt but it wouldn't be the end of the world. You're gonna go pro. You're an amazing player even if you lose."

"It wouldn't be the same! This is the last time us third years will be on the same team together!"

"They're your friends, Tooru! I'm sure they'd be fine knowing everyone gave their all in the end. Karasuno's third years probably feel the same way as you! Losing does not mean you're weak."

"Yes it does! In middle school, I was overshadowed by a kid that's now a first year on Karasuno's team. He's younger and dumber but he still stole everything from me!"

"He's a kid, Tooru! He probably looks up to you-" Before you could finish, Oikawa rolled his eyes and walked up to his house, slamming the front door closed. You tore your defeated gaze away from his house to make your way into yours.

Oikawa refused to talk to you after that day. He continued his toxic routine up until the day of the match against Karasuno. He didn't notice that you were in the audience, in the front row along with other peers cheering the team on. You tried not to stare at Tooru the whole time but found yourself constantly drifting back to him.

You witnessed the team's demeanor deflate at Karasuno's win. You gripped the rails in the stands as you saw the boys begin to tear up one by one.

As Oikawa gathered his things from the locker room, Iwaizumi pat him on the back, saying that their loss wasn't the end of the world despite how much it stung in the moment. That's exactly what you had said too. After his friend walked away, Tooru's fist weakly pounded the locker he slumped in front of.

You were right, he had realized. You were right and he had blown you off like you weren't important to him. You cared about him and he ignored you, blinded by the thought of proving his talent.

"I'm sorry." He whispered before breaking down into sobs, no one left in the room to hear him.

[smolandweirdwriter]

i STAND CORRECTED: our word is aelwyn's song, not adaine's!

"So I hid screw-ups from my father" - adaine's screw-ups were never hidden, even if she tried! they were the subject of her father's contempt and neglect, and the fear of being treated the way adaine was fueled aelwyn need for perfection and fear of her father (and in turn, her neglect and worsening of adaine's own experience, in a cycle of abuse for both abernant siblings). so OF COURSE she would hide her failures from her father

"made up school awards to please my mom/whatever made the steak taste better/whatever kept the waters calm" - adaine never tried to keep the waters calm, deliberately did not attempt to please her parents (i think she tried hard in school for a few reasons: 1) the studying distracted her, 2 or really 1.5) knowledge made her feel in control of something in her life because she understood magic, and 3) she feared what her parents would do if she wasn't perfect. even if they didn't care about her successes, they certainly cared about her failures & ensuring said failures were not a reflection of themselves. anyway-) aelwyn always tried to placate her parents, do what they wanted, be the perfect daughter, keep the waters calm, because adaine was already the scapegoat. their roles were so set in stone by their parents, aelwyn really had no choice but to play along, or risk making things worse

"as i got older, i got dumber/ i couldn't help but cross the line" - the partying etc

"i saw my parents hearing the news... it'd be their word on its own" - angwyn just let her rot in a bubble for 9 months!! it would be so easy for them to just erase her, to rewrite the narrative however suits them- "oh, aelwyn? well, we really tried our best, she's always been obstinate and difficult, there wasn't anything we could do", etc. she has no footing to dispute them! she is nothing compared to her father/mother, and that has always been the point: she and adaine exist solely to fill the roles angwyn and arianwen set for them, and the parameters for their behavior/acceptability can be changed in an instant. the rug can always be swept out from under them. the safest option, as far as aelwyn knows, is just to play along. even if it hurts, even if she hates herself for it, she is afraid and it keeps her safe, and that is all she knows

[atarathegreat]

Keigo Takami- Clean

Red carpet events were a stupid prelude to even dumber interviews. Pictures and reporters that didn't actually care about anything but a story and some clout.

"Hawks! Hawks, over here!" Cameramen yelled, and we'd turn like we were puppets and smile. Every third step was a turn, a pose, a smile. I'd grown bored the second we walked through the main door. I hated it. My eyes burned from the flashing lights and I couldn't even hear myself think over the many yelling people. Keigo tucked my loose bangs back behind my ear, his smile was almost as blinding as the cameras. That picture would be in an article in a few short hours.

"You look beautiful, I can't wait to see all the press you're gonna get!" Keigo smirked, his smile falling when a certain idiotic song began to play.

They played songs to let the heroes know who they were about to call up for an interview. Keigo's song was drug related, it was the same every time. It brought down his mood exponentially and worsened my already bad temper. It was like he wanted to hide in his red velvet tux coat, and it was impossible to miss the way his feathers puffed up. I felt my temper go up another notch, anger hurting my chest a little.

"Y/n, a few questions, please?" A slim woman asked from across the deep velvet ropes.

I wandered to the edge of the carpet, pulling at the bottom of my dress so I wouldn't trip. Keigo wanted to match as much as we could so he got me into a red lacey dress that had faux feathers over the sweetheart neckline.

The woman looked rather serious, "Miss Y/n, can you tell us what you're wearing tonight?"

A drag of a question, but it was better than the usual about my relationship with a pro hero, "She's called Crimson Rider by an unknown seamstress out in the countryside. Plunging sweetheart neckline with lace sleeves, and guess how much! Only one hundred thirty dollars, can you believe that! And look at how long the bottom is, I've nearly tripped over it twice today."

Anyone could've swam in the sickly sweet voice I put on, it left a sour taste in my mouth from how thick it was. The woman didn't seem to mind at all, just smiled as I answered her questions. Hawks' fans would have a fit over the price being even that high. It wasn't my problem, Keigo bought what he knew I'd wear, and he kept it cheap. Well, cheaper that he normally did, to my relief.

"You're engaged to the number two hero, wouldn't you like something a bit more… extravagant?" The woman asked, her forehead wrinkled in mock confusion. A tell-tale sign that she wasn't interested in the slightest.

I shook my head, "I don't need high end clothes to be happy. As long as Hawks comes home to me alive, I'll be okay. And he bought this as a gift, I buy all my clothes because he gets the expensive things."

The man had a horrible habit of trying to spoil me. Not that I hated it, but he could be cheaper about it.

Keigo still hadn't smoothed himself out by the time I returned to him, so I stood behind him and unruffled his wings. He sighed, "Why do they always have to play this song? Couldn't they pick something else for once?"

A smile replaced his upset face as he noticed what I was holding, "Hummingbird, you didn't! Are you trying to cause a scene?"

Nodding, I kissed him. Cameras went crazy and the flashes would've blinded me if my eyes had been open. My left arm was outstretched, Keigo's three year sober coin held so everyone would see the gold metal with black lettering. I used my quirk to stick it to his jacket before we entered for the interview, it wouldn't be missed in any tabloids or photos.

Keigo sat more confidently while he spoke, angled almost purposefully to show the coin. I answered the questions that were aimed at me and kept my cool.

Our interviewer had been decent and had skipped plenty of question cards, I was starting to enjoy the moment, "How is it being engaged to such a fiery woman?"

"She's the best!" Keigo smiled, draping a soft wing over my shoulders, "My hummingbird keeps me grounded, sane and ready for life. She got me into rehab, helped me turn my life around. I'm the luckiest man ever to have her."

When I'd met the birdbrain he was strung out on every drug he could get his hands on. It was public information, articles even had photos of him doing them at parties. Keigo hated that it was public, he knew he could never escape it no matter how far he ran.

Keigo had been angry when I'd filled our living room with representatives from rehabs, in his emotional rampage he'd accidently slapped the side of my head and my left ear now constantly had a ringing in it. I didn't blame him, as he hadn't meant to, but he definitely still blamed himself.

That was four years and one slip up ago.

"And you, Miss L/n, how is life as a heroes fiance?" The man asked, a fake smile plastered on his lips. I felt my stomach dropping.

"Aside from the worry that he won't come home to me, it's great. Hawks is the sweetest man I've ever met. I never have to worry about anything." I smiled at my blond partner, "He's attentive and caring, there's never a morning I don't wake up without breakfast made or feeling loved."

The interviewer shuffled his cards, scowling at the next question, "Do you ever worry that he'll fall into his old habits? Being a womaniser and an addict?"

All the respect left my body as soon as he stopped talking, "His hero facade isn't who he really is, you might be surprised to find that we met organically through a business party."

Her tried to back track, but I'd already seen the shame and guilt on Keigo's face, "We're done here. Thank you, have a good night. Let's go, love."

Once we entered our home, Keigo unzipped the back of my dress and disappeared into the bathroom. I would've followed if I hadn't known he wanted to be left alone. Sometimes he needed the solitude and I was always there when he wanted the love right after.

It bothered him more than anything that his past was haunting him, I was the one who shut down any and all attempts of reporters to bring it up. Keigo had gotten used to me going along with him and stopping the press, he himself wasn't the type to leave those things on his own. My pushiness only grew with his discomfort, I wasn't above breaking things either. Cameras often fell victim to my aggressions.

He was still hiding when I was done getting changed, only my makeup needing to be removed. I knocked on the door, hearing a faint "Come in, Birdie."

Keigo was in the shower, peeking around the curtain, "Makeup?"

I nodded and leaned over our sink, gently scrubbing with the remover pads, "It gets itchy after a while, honestly. I'd never wear it if your secretary didn't book me each time."

His wet arms wrapped around my waist, "I'll let her know not to include you next time, that sound good?"

The room fell silent, aside from the shower going behind us. I pretended that I was still removing the persistent powder from my face so he could stay pressed against me. It felt like sometimes he was just wanting anything to anchor him back to earth, and he always found me. I never got bored of him in any capacity, even when some would call him clingy.

"I'm still sober, hummingbird, I promise. I haven't touched that shit in years, and I won't ever again. I promise you I won't, I promise…" His sad voice made my heart stop. He'd never sounded so defeated, not even when he had failed the program the last time, "That's not who I am anymore. Not who I'll ever be again."

"I know, birdbrain, that's why I defend you everyday." I shuffled around to hold him closer to me, "Finish your shower so we can go to bed. I'll set up a meeting with your sponsor tomorrow, see what he thinks we can do going forward."

Keigo kissed me, his pupils mere slits and he truly reminded me of a bird of prey, "No therapists, please. I feel like a big enough loser."

"I know, love."

[cardierreh15]

“Jump!”

**I do not give anyone permission to copy or repost my work!!!

Warning 18+: Mentions Of Sex but , Clark being the man we always wanted . ✨ amazing ✨

Pairing: Clark/Kal-El x Lois Lane (Black!Plus Size female)

Description: Clark doesn’t exactly know how to explain to Lois that he is Kal-El, Superman.

Word Count: 2.0K

Song: Magic by Coldplay

One Shot

‘Clark, this has to be the dumbest idea you’ve ever come up with!’ Lois squeaked through her teeth as he managed to push her forward. She was on her heels, backing her weight against him but somehow, he was not budging. He just kept on pushing.

Clark chuckled as they finally came to a stop at what had seemed to be the edge of the world. ‘Trust me… I’ve thought of dumber things.”

Lois was still far enough to see the cliff but not what was beneath it. Her knees were practically buckling and her teeth were damn near chattering. ‘N-no! I’m convinced, this is the dumbest!’

He’d walked ahead of her and placed his hand on his hip before turning around to face her, ‘Y-know, for you to have been pushed off of the globe of the Daily Planet, you’d think you’d grasp the idea of heights.’

Offended, Lois raised a brow and popped out her hip, ‘Excuse me?!’ Her face began to grow hot with irritation. That had to be the most insensitive thing he had ever said. Leave it to a man to say something stupid.

‘Before you get mad… Let me finish.’ He sighed for a moment, ‘The only way one has truly ever fallen from something high like this is because they were either pushed, or they jumped.’ He then turned to walk towards the edge of the cliff.

‘CLARK! BE CAREFUL!’ She yelped.

He turned halfway and lended his hand out towards her.

Lois stared at her boyfriend for a moment. His deep blue eyes were so gentle, and so sure. They offered her a place she had only felt with him: safety. She knew that whenever he was around, she would be safe. It was a strange feeling… but it was blissful and comfortable too.

So, Lois sighed and rolled her eyes. ‘Fine. But if I fall off this cliff Clark, I will haunt you for the rest of your life!’ She said as she walked over and placed her hand in his.

‘Haha, sure— sure. Look,— look at this view.’

Ahead, was the melancholy vastness of the ocean. The sun shone brightly down on the crystal blue waters. Waves sparkling and shimmering as if it was a sea of jewels. A few tiny yachts and sailboats floated on the horizon; only adding to the breathtaking sight.

‘Wow— Clark… this is…’ she scoffed as she just held his hand a little tighter than before. She just needed clarification if he was real or not. All of it just felt like a dream. Her being on a much deserved vacation with the love of her life. Life felt too good right now. But somehow, it was going to get a lot better.

Clark stared down at her with a gentle smile cracked on his face, ‘I know.’ He then wrapped his heavy arms around her waist, giving her a soft squeeze before kissing her cheek. Then, he rested his chin on her shoulder gently, loving the sound of her now calmed down heart beat. A rhythm that had put him to sleep on multiple occasions.

Placing a kiss on her shoulder and savoring the moment, he let out a gentle sigh, ‘Lois, I have to tell you something.’

Lois then looked over her shoulder at him with concern, ‘What is it, Clark? Is everything alright?’ She then turned around to face him, her small manicured hands on his sturdy chest.

He grabbed her small hands in both of his large palms, ‘Yes— … sort of. I—‘ he looked off to the side and then took a deep breath.

You have to tell her, Clark. She’s important to you. You plan on asking her to be your wife one day. She must know.

Letting out another huff that seemed to come from his soul, he closed his eyes as he asked, ‘Do you trust me?’

She raised a brow in confusion, a skeptical half smirk curled on her lips, ‘Uh… we’ve been dating for 6 months. I would like to hope so.’

The couple let out a short litter of laughter before Clark pressed his lips together.

‘Then there’s something I have to tell you… well, showing is better than telling.’ He then grabbed her hand and placed a kiss on her knuckles. ‘Just… give me a few minutes. I left something down in the rental. Wait for me?’

Now she was curious. What could be so important that he just couldn’t share with her now? Or, why did he leave it in the car? Was it on purpose? Oh my god! Is it a ring?! Shit! Was he going to ask her to marry him?!

Her mind raced with these ideas! All of these what ifs! Her heart began to pick up pace again. ‘Well—‘ she swallowed her spit, ‘O-of course, Clark! I mean— I ain’t goin’ nowhere.’ She giggled nervously, her cheeks burning with excitement and her ever growing smile unwavering.

Clark chuckled and gave her a gentle nod. He could hear her heart begin to pick up its pace again, but he just kept it cool. She was as nervous as he was. That was evident in the way she smiled.

‘Alright then. Just hold tight. I’ll be right back!’ He then placed another kiss on her cheek and jogged his way back towards the marble staircase that led them here.

She spent what had felt like an hour up on that cliff. She picked out a pretty pink flower and stuffed it in her big poofy ponytail. Then, she took some selfies and made sure she looked good for the special occasion. Adding on a little bit of gloss on her full lips.

Then, she heard her name being called.

‘LOIS! LOIS!’

Closing her mini makeup mirror, her eyebrows tugged into one. ‘What the hell? CLARK?!’ She then shoved it in her purse and walked back towards the edge of the cliff.

Catching herself, a few small rocks fell off of the edge. Damn, that was such a far fall. Letting out a shudder of a deep breath, she felt like she could only hear her own heart hammering in her ears.

Him calling out to her didn’t bring her out of her own head until she saw a familiar bright red cape.

‘LOIS! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!’

‘I’M FINE, CLARK IT’S JUST—‘ then it occurred to her. ‘CLARK WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE!?’

He was standing at the large rocks down below where the waves crashed and eroded the cliff.

‘SEE I KNEW YOU’D ASK THAT! LISTEN, I’VE BEEN THINKING A LOT LATELY! AND I'M READY TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH ABOUT WHO I AM!’

Lois made a face, getting down on her hands and knees to lean a little further over the ledge to see and hear him better.

‘CLARK?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU WEARING?!’ He was just so far down below, her eyes couldn’t make him out. Only the bright red cape that blew in the wind.

‘LOIS! DO YOU TRUST ME?!’

The same question from earlier, she sighed out before slapping her forehead, ‘YES! CLARK! I TRUST YOU! BUT YOU’RE NOT EXPLAINING TO ME HOW AND WHY YOU ARE DOWN THERE AND NOT HERE!’

‘I WILL IN A MINUTE! THIS IS GOING TO SOUND COMPLETELY ABSURD! BUT I NEED A FAVOR FROM YOU!’

Her eyebrows tugged into one. Now she was more worried than she was curious. Whatever plan Clark had rolled up his sleeve, she was not feeling it. But she’d allow herself to hear him out. She was in love with him after all.

‘WHAT DO YOU NEED?!’

Clark paused for a second, knowing how she reacted just standing up there was just the beginning, but he was about to ask a lot of her. But he had to try.

‘I NEED YOU TO JUMP!’

Lois’ eyebrows pulled into one, ‘YOU NEED ME TO WHAT?!’

‘I NEED YOU TO—‘

‘I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME CLARK! ARE YOU NUTS?!’

He sighed out and pressed his lips together, ‘LOIS! I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU TRUSTED ME!’

‘I DO BUT—‘

‘IF YOU DO … I PROMISE IT’LL BE WORTH IT!’ He reached out towards her.

She stared down at him, her eyebrows tugging into one as her eyes were finally able to make out a bit of his attire. A bright burgundy “S” carved into his chest. ‘Oh my god…’ she whispered to herself, covering her lips with her fingers.

‘I—I KNOW, LOIS! I KNOW I HAVEN’T BEEN TRUTHFUL AND I HID A LOT OF THINGS FROM YOU. BUT I WANT TO MAKE THIS RIGHT! FROM NOW ON, I WILL TELL YOU EVERYTHING… BUT YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME… YOU HAVE TO JUMP!’

Lois felt her heart pounding in her chest, her head grew dizzy and her palms shook.

‘LOIS?!’

She thought her brain was going to shut down on her. But she had to face this! This was her boyfriend! And her coworker! It’s not like she could avoid him, hell, they came here on this trip together! So she let out a deep breath.

‘w—what if I can’t?’

‘I KNOW YOU CAN. BECAUSE YOU’RE MY GIRL! YOU'RE THE BRAVEST PERSON I KNOW, LOIS!’

When she heard those words, it was like her adrenaline had kicked in. She needed that reassurance, she needed that reminder of who she was! And from her sights, it looked like she was up here and her boyfriend, better known as Superman, was waiting down below to catch her.

So she stood up and walked towards the edge and took another deep breath. ‘Alright… “you’re either pushed… or you fall…”.’ she repeated his words from earlier, ‘Who are you going to be Lo? The person who gets pushed? Or the one that takes that leap?’

Lois closed her eyes, ‘OK.’ And she opened her arms out and just pushed her body forward. ‘AHH!’ She let out a short scream as she began to free fall.

In the beginning of her fall, the moments seemed so serene and peaceful. Like nothing really mattered! She didn’t fear what would happen if she didn’t land in Clark’s arms. It was as if she was embracing death with open arms. But the longer she was in the air, the more anxious she became. She was starting to doubt him and even began to count. ‘One… two… threeee— CLAAARRRR—Oof!’

Abruptly, she felt herself being hit with the reverse of gravity. Landing right in his arms, Lois felt like she was floating! One of her eyes popped open to look all around, and then the other one popped open to look up at her lover.

‘Clark.’ Lois shuddered out as she stared up at him in awe.

Clark smiled down at her, one arm tucked beneath her knees and the other around her back.

Lois looked from his face to peak down below. They had to be at least 50 more feet off the ground.

‘I told you all you had to was trust me…I will always catch you, Lois.’

She smiled before looking up at him, ‘I know… I’m sorry I doubted you.’ She said, smoothing out the back of her fingers on his clean shaven jaw. ‘I love you, Clark.’ she said softly as her finger tips traced along the intricate detailing of the embroidered “S” on his chest. It wasn’t like any kind of fabric she had seen on Earth. It was so full of pigment and color. Remarkable!

‘I love you too, Lois.’

Clark then leaned down as Lois stretched up her neck to meet him in an Earth shattering kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he held her body flush against his. Their tongues fought one another for dominance and want.

Lois had broken the kiss but her eyes remained closed as her forehead rested against his. ‘Wait!’ She stirred out of her thoughts for a second and looked up at him, ‘Is that why we haven’t slept together? Because you were Superman the whole time?’ She held back her giggles.

A bright red hue grew on his face and he started to laugh, ‘Partly,’ he said before pressing his lips together, ‘But now that the cats out of the bag… I plan on indulging you… any way my mind sees fit.’ He said with a bit of Once we make it back to the hotel.’

‘Well, I like the sound of that!’ Lois squeaked as she clasped her hands together.

[the-spaced-out-ace]

I REMEMBER SEEING ART WITH THIS A FEW MONTHS BACK BUT I WANT TO EXPLAIN (still crediting @wetcatschwartzy for the idea/inspiration though. also hi i'm aware we've never spoken sorry for tagging you in my unhinged fic idea post) BUT ANYWAY uhhhhhh. 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. But make it the main cast of NPMD. An au that appeals to ???? people ?? it definitely appeals to me

And now the cast I'd so and my justifications, idc

Steph Lauter as Olive Ostrovsky

Thought process: We know Olive's dad works a lot, is emotionally distant, and Olive implies that he can be downright cold or abusive during the I Love You song, which lines up pretty well with Steph and Solomon's relationship. Olive's mom ran off, and we never get any mention of Steph's (picture Steph being introduced by the hosts mentioning her mom won Honey Queen or something). Both know their strengths and weaknesses but have serious self-doubts about their own intelligence (Steph being convinced she's dumber than she realizes, Olive never answering until she whispers the word to herself). Also I thought about Mariah singing TILY Song and sobbed.

Pete Spankoffski as William Morris Barfée

Starting off strong, they both have very stupid names that they KNOW are stupid and try to defend the moment they can ("It's Polish" / "There's an accent aigu"). Both of them have grumpy/cold exteriors, but when you get down to it, they're both just socially awkward and autistic coded but very intelligent kids that are really just at the Bee to try to make something of themselves (Barfée dropping out because of an allergic reaction at the previous Bee could totally translate to Pete having a diabetic emergency). Both develop crushes on Steph/Olive by the end of act 1 of their respective shows too, so. There's that I guess.

Grace Chasity as Logainne Schartzandgrubinierre

"But Ember, wouldn't she match better with the Catholic--" GRACE DOES NOT LIKE CATHOLICS. Also I have thought this through. Logainne is politically aware, cutthroat, and automatically assumes herself to be the most important person in the room. She takes up every project and social issue that she can to appease her dads, determined to be as perfect as they want her to be. She loses the Bee because she gets overconfident, taking a serious blow because of her pride. Grace takes up every project and social issue that she can (anti-hocoming posters and the prank on Max for example), can be cutthroat (canonically has murdered at least two men), and thanks to her holier-than-thou nature, assumes herself the most important person in the room. She takes up cancelling HOCO and is always early for school and is extremely devout because that's the perfect little girl her parents expect from her. And she'd probably get so into it she'd fall from pride, too.

Max Jagerman as Marcy Park

HEAR ME OUT! Marcy has been the top of her class all her life, to the point she was moved one grade ahead. She's popular, she's intelligent, she's multitalented, and she's peaking at age 12 and aware of it. "I Speak Six Languages" is literally her having a breakdown realizing she's been the "best" for too long and it's stressing her out. Max, meanwhile, says he knows he's peaked in high school, and therefore is making the most out of his popularity and status while he can. Like, I can picture him mentioning he's done every sport available to him and being the best athlete is only going to do so much for him in his life in a "I'm so sick and tired / of always being the best and brightest" type monologue. So when he drops out on purpose, who would he daydream about instead of Jesus? Maybe some NFL star idk. Everything I know about football is about the Chiefs (Missouri represent) and also learned against my will.

Ruth Fleming as Chip Tolentino

They're both horny, both proud of their own nerdiness, and would both ABSOLUTELY catch feelings for a competitor's sibling and immediately forget what word they had to spell. And would both make jokes about the especially dirty sounding words (to be fair all his words are kinda funny. And I DID learn the word "tittup" from this show) (look it up I dare y'all). Ruth singing Chip's Lament? Funny to me.

Richie Lipschitz as Leaf Coneybear

AuDHD coded, tendency to have the wrong takeaways, generally socially awkward even among the other nerds. Tbh that's all I got, they're matched up because they're the last ones. Still kinda fits though.

And I have less justification for the adults but here's my takes anyway

Miss Mulberry as Rona - sweet but stern ladies who've been taking care of after school functions for years

Tom Houston as Douglas Panch - he doesn't want to be there, he's as confused as everyone else (but without the hitting on Mulberry stuff he's never do Becky wrong like that <3)

Dan Reynolds as Mitch Mahoney - he's a volunteer counselor!

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group D Round 4: My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! vs Vivy: Fluorite Eye’s Song

#D6: My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! (Otome Game no Hametsu Flag shika Nai Akuyaku Reijou ni Tensei shiteshimatta…)

Most adorable-dork villainess in dating game isekai

#D8: Vivy: Fluorite Eye’s Song

Singer idol android goes back in time to save humanity

Details and poll under the cut!

#D6: My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! (Otome Game no Hametsu Flag shika Nai Akuyaku Reijou ni Tensei shiteshimatta…)

Summary:

Most people would prefer being the protagonist of a world full of adventure, be it in a game or in another world. But, unfortunately, a certain girl is not so lucky. Regaining the memories of her past life, she realizes that she was reborn in the world of Fortune Lover—one of the games she used to play.

Unfortunately, the character she was reincarnated into—Catarina Claes—is the game's main antagonist, who faces utter doom in every ending. Using her extensive knowledge of the game, she takes it upon herself to escape from the chains of this accursed destiny.

However, this will not be an easy feat, especially since she needs to be cautious as to not set off death flags that may speed up the impending doom she is trying to avoid. Even so, to make a change that will affect the lives of everyone around her, she strives—not as the heroine—but as the villainess.

Propaganda:

This show is so much fun. The protagonist is a lovable girl himbo, who is completely oblivious to everyone around falling in love with her. It’s a bit of a harem anime, but with equal opportunities: the girls are just as enamored with the main character as the guys are. The increasingly dumber ways in which she thinks she’s going to meet her doom (she is supposed to be the villain of the story, after all) are a delight to behold.

Trigger Warnings: Incest, Rape/Non-Con. The main character gets assaulted like two or three times, but it’s not graphic. One of these instances, where a kiss is forced on her, is by her adoptive brother, who is also her cousin, who is one of her main love interests.

#D8: Vivy: Fluorite Eye’s Song

Summary:

When highly evolved AIs set out to eradicate mankind, the carnage that ensues fills the air with the stench of fresh blood and burning bodies. In a desperate bid to prevent the calamity from ever occurring, a scientist bets everything on a remnant from the past.

Turning the clock back a hundred years, AIs are already an integral part of human society, programmed with specific missions meant to be carried out for their entire course of operation. Vivy, the first ever autonomous AI, is a songstress tasked with spreading happiness through her voice. In a theme park where she hardly ever gets a proper audience, she strives to pour her heart out into her performances, bound to repeat it day after day—that is, until an advanced AI from the future appears before her and enlists her help in stopping a devastating war a hundred years in the making. With no time to process the revelation that flips her world upside down, Vivy is catapulted into a century-long journey to avert the violent history yet to come.

Propaganda:

Most first think that this anime is an idol show. I promise you, it is NOT. Quite far from it. Vivy is regrettably underrated despite having great animation—just watch the fight scenes. It has the best of songs that will get stuck in your head for a long time. Character growth for characters - you will adore them. It even won some recognition from anime awards, yet no one talks about it. You have to watch it at least once and appreciate how this anime is made with love as it talks about experiences that make us human. You will be surprised how well the storytelling is.

Trigger Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Cruelty/Violence/Gore, Suicide

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how it’s presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form with your revisions, and I’ll consider adapting those changes.

New: Starting round 5, screenshots will be included in the poll post. You can submit screenshots through the form linked above, or through here, via ask or dm.

Guidelines in submitting screenshots:

No NSFW or spoilery images.

Pick some good images please. Don’t send any blurry or pixelated ones.

You may send up to 9 screenshots, but not all may be used.

[origamiplushie]

I Have a Bird In Spring. Chapter 2

Written as part of the @steddiesummerexchange for @hardboiledleggs.

Chapter 2. The Fort Randolph Robber Frog

Chapter 1. Read on AO3.

Many poisonous frogs, such as the golden poison frog and dyeing poison frog, are boldly colored to warn predators of their dangerous toxic skins. Some colourful frogs, such as the Fort Randolph robber frog, have developed the same coloring as a coexisting poisonous species. Although their skins are not toxic, these mimics may gain protection from predators by looking dangerous. 

Living with his uncle permanently definitely had its upsides. Eddie loved his uncle Wayne, who had always been supportive of his interests and there to give advice and be a good influence on young Eddie. 

Wayne had been the one to introduce Eddie to blues and from there Eddie had found his way to metal. The first time he heard Judas Priest he felt like someone had scooped out his brain and heart, scrambled them together and made them into a song with an awesome guitar riff. Judas Priest was followed by Black Sabbath, Accept, Def Leppard and many other bands.

Metal gave Eddie the confidence to freely express himself without shame. With Wayne’s help he had learned to play the guitar, then to play his favorite songs and now he was experimenting with writing songs of his own. Now he could force this indifferent world to listen to what he had to say. 

Eddie had managed to make some new friends - Gareth, Jeff and Frank. Eddie had introduced them to Dungeons and Dragons and soon every Friday was campaign night. The four of them had even formed their own band!

But all these positives were weighed down by the rest of Hawkins itself. From the disapproving housewives to the loud and proud racists and small minded republicans, Hawkins felt like the poster town of conservative America. The cherry on top of this pile of shit - Hawkins High.

Eddie hated the school and everything it stood for with all his heart and you could fucking quote him on that, okay?

“The Hawkins elite consider themselves so much better than those who work at the factory. What you don’t realize is that every one of you works at a factory themselves. keeping your heads down and working mind-numbing shift after shift with no protest. The true factory is right here - Hawkins High!”

A few students threw reproachful glances towards his improvised stage on top of the cafeteria table. Eddie ignored them. He was giving a lecture filled with the kinds of truths that these kids were probably never going to receive anywhere else.

He hated most of the teachers. They were basically narrow minded dictators. 

“The goal of this factory is producing obedient drones for the massive machine that is America! The teachers grind down kids’ minds until they are smooth and have no will left to question the status quo or change anything.”

Obviously, they couldn’t stand Eddie and made his life a living hell for the crime of questioning them.

“The classes are filled with useless information because the system doesn’t want you to know anything true or useful about the world. The dumber the sheep, the easier it follows the shepherd.” 

He threw in a few monotonous bleating sounds for emphasis.

Eddie honestly thought that most classes contained either the most useless information to exist or were explicitly designed to torture kids, such as gym or shop. He hated having to waste his precious time on such nonsense.

“But no one is going to try and change this because they hope to receive a cushy life as thanks for their unquestioning loyalty. THis is where our honored rulers come into play.”

A mocking bow aimed towards the jock table.

“They know that the system will reward them. They will inherit daddy’s riches and job as a useless CEO who spends their days playing golf. The only thing they have to do is make sure the sheep never realize they’re being tricked. Meanwhile the sheepies just hope that if they lick the right boots they will become rulers themselves.”

What Eddie hated most of all was the ruling class of the high school’s student body. The jocks whose main interests were various ways to get balls into baskets and nerds into lockers. The cheerleaders and popular girls who only found humor in rumors and mockery. And finally the other conformative normies who tried to kiss the right asses so they would rise to the top of the popularity ladder themselves.

Eddie did a dramatic spin, hands spread to gesture at the rest of the student body. Caught up in his awesome monologue, he was oblivious to the tray of food right next to his foot until his spin sent it flying off of the table.

Right onto Mr. Kaminski’s pressed linen trousers.

Oops.

“Mister Munson, detention.” Mr. Kaminski said in a strained voice.

Eddie sighed and hopped off the table.

“Yeah, yeah. The gears continue to grind.”

Later that afternoon, dying of boredom in detention, Eddie’s mind wandered once more towards his (fantastic, but underappreciated) cafeteria speech. 

It was impossible to understand how none of the other students could see what he saw. Truly one of life’s greatest mysteries. Well, he’s sure some of the other nerds and geeks agreed with him but were smart enough not to say so publicly. Being part of Eddie’s misfit crew put a target on your pack and while he did his best to draw the attention to himself, he couldn’t always protect his friends from the likes of Tommy Hagan and Steve Harrington.

Steve Harrington, their illustrious king. The asshole who walked around like he was better than everyone else. He didn’t really shove anyone around but he was never afraid to put nerds back into their place. Calling someone a fucking weirdo freak, audibly making fun of a poorer kids hand-me-down clothes in the middle of the hallway and pretty much bending in half with laughter when someone failed to catch the ball in dodgeball and got hit in the face, the list goes on. 

While Eddie would get reprimanded the moment he even thought of stepping out of line, Harrington could get away with murder. He barely paid attention in class and sometimes skipped altogether with the flimsy excuse of feeling a bit ill. He threw parties at his huge mansion every other month and everyone knew to expect rivers of alcohol. However even when the cops busted the party, Harrington just got a slap on the wrist. 

If Eddie was honest with himself, the reason he despised Steve Harrington above all the other bullies was his name. 

Harrington did not deserve to bear the same name as Eddie’s childhood best friend, his little bit of magic made real. Eddie’s Stevie was a shy but kind and friendly boy. Steve Harrington was a mean jerk who used his charisma and privilege to get his way. 

Eddie was furious he had to associate such a dick with the name of one of the sweetest people he’s met.

However, at least his Stevie would never have to deal with this other Steve. Eddie’s pretty sure his Stevie’s family must have moved away at some point because even though he’s kept his eyes open he’s seen no sign of the kind boy he used to play with. Even after all these years, Eddie missed him a lot.

---

Steve’s life had turned into a disaster.

He didn’t want to go back to acting like an asshole. Wasn’t sure he could. But he had to admit, life had been easier that way. Steve hadn’t been happy but he also hadn’t ever had to worry about where to sit at lunch, hadn’t had to worry about getting “accidentally” shoulder checked against walls in the hallways.

He could always at least rely on throwing a party to drown out the empty silence.

But unfortunately he had had good sense literally beaten back into him by Jonathan Byers and he couldn’t close his eyes to the truth again. 

That’s not even touching upon the hell he now knew was chained beneath their feet. If realizing that he wasn’t sure he could stand to spend five minutes in a room with the person he used to be wasn’t enough to wreck his life, extradimensional monsters definitely tore it to shreds. 

Steve had tried so hard to hold up the ruins of his life this past year. Tried to move on and patch the metaphorical holes in the roof with his love for Nancy and his new tentative friendship with Byers. Tried to redecorate so his life moving forwards would be warm and welcoming rather than filled with bitter spite and petty insults.

Hadn’t that worked out well. Now all he had left was rubble. And Steve didn’t really have any material left to rebuild with.

Nancy was gone, spitting on all his efforts to build something happier with her on her way out. Byers and him were back to not speaking, unsure of where they stood with each other. And his father had only called to berate him for getting into another fight before saying that they wouldn’t make it home for Thanksgiving.

Bruised, beaten and heartbroken, Steve would really rather be anywhere but in the cold empty house that reminds him of his loneliness. So after another night interrupted by nightmares he barely remembered to put on shoes and grab a jacket before wandering out of his backdoor and into the woods.

He didn’t have a destination in mind, he just needed to get away. He wasn’t sure how long he wandered before muscle memory directed his drifting feet towards the old frog pond.

It used to be the place he felt the most comfortable. It made sense that his subconscious had brought him here to try and find that same sense of peace.

Staring at the empty clearing Steve was filled with bittersweet memories of warm summers when he could escape his cold house and to play with his friend, probably the only proper friend he had ever had. 

Now Steve had escaped from his cold and empty house to this… cold and empty pond? 

Something about that feels off to Steve. 

The whole clearing was unusually silent. Steve strained his ears but he couldn’t make out a sound except for his own still somewhat rapid breathing. Even at night he would have expected to hear the faint hooting of an owl or at least crickets.

Where were the animals? What had happened to the frogs?

Realization struck - the demodogs.

If Dart ended up eating Dustin’s cat even though Dustin did his best to keep it well fed, the wild ones must have been hunting animals even earlier. It seems that they had destroyed the demodogs too late to save the wildlife. To save Steve’s frog pond.

Would there be any tadpoles in the spring if there were no more frogs?

Steve slid down to sit down against a tree. He missed the soft croaking of the frogs. He missed feeling safe and happy. He missed Edmund.

Next.