#the dino bot situation was

[presidentofthelipglossclub]

rescue bots optimus is such a funny character because he's. so useless. like most of the time he's just there not doing anything just chilling and almost all of the rest of the time he is actively making things worse. maybe three times he's made good decisions with/for them.

griffin rock is his vacay spot his brain completely shuts down there. or just when he talks to the rescue bots. literally second episode he's already hanging up on them when they bring up legitimate concerns after being zero help. heatwave asked if he had any advice and he went "good luck." and cut the call. legend behavior but also damn you didn't have to do them that dirty.

anyways he's a shitty absent father with communication issues and i think that's very babygirl of him. (jk mostly i mean the rescue bots r very capable w/o him but he has helped them. it's just funny seeing how background he is and how laidback he is in their lives. i think he cares about them but in like a "i don't know what's going on with you guys and i don't think i wanna know so imma stay over here" way.)

[unknownprinciples]

Fellow eldritch creatures, I wish to speak on some more if Southern Tfa Optimus prime, specifically Angry/Irritated Southern Tfa Optimus prime for a quick second.

*inhale.. Exhale*

When Optimus gets angry or even irritated, I like to imagine he walks away from the conversation or whatever he's doing at the moment to give himself a minute to regroup and go about the situation rationally.

But if he doesn't get that chance, well his whole attitude starts to shift a bit.

*We all remember when Optimus yelled at Prowl about the dino bots in that one episode right? How his engine revved and especially the look on his face. Oh and the growling when he was taking deep breaths just to calm down 🙏😭. Anyway-*

his accent will grow thicker and his voice deepens, oh deliciously deepens the more angry/irritated he gets. The sneers he gets on his face-

If you end up in a unwelcomed confrontation. Best believe he'll come to your rescue, weather your dating at that point or not.

He'll absolutely stare down the person who messed with you (or the team) with a deadly false smile, making sure to show off his sharp canines. Sneering down at them, damn near snarling if they don't catch the memo.

(Of course he wouldn't 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 snarl at someone but it's a nice thought 😒😌) . The sneering is a 100% guaranteed tho, only if necessary. ᴏɴʟʏ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀ ᴛɪɴʏ sɴᴇᴇʀ, ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙᴏʏ ғᴀᴄᴇ ɪɴ ᴘᴜʙʟɪᴄ

His optics will darken from their azure blue to a dangerous Oxford blue. The glare in his optics is something that he wouldn't hide.

He would make sure the person walks away fully then immediately turn his attention to you, looking over, making sure your alright.

Of course, all his irritation and or anger goes away the minute he turns to you. Such a sweet mech! He talks in a softer tone and holds your hand. Gazing at you like the stars had just blessed him💙

Now he has a lot of patience and I mean a lot. From keeping an optic on sari and Bumblebee, those two are a magnet for mischief. Keeping up with the decepticons activities and not to mention when The elite guard showed up...

But when 𝙮𝙤𝙪 start to press his buttons, it's.. Different. He won't be angry, oh no never that. But he will get tested on his self control and boy it surprises the both of you just how much he has.

It's like a full on game of cat and mouse, playful and teasing. With just enough edge to it to make you both excited.

Now let's say a series of things has been happening for the past couple of days. Decepticon activity has increased lately, Megatron has been annoyingly repetitive in recent attacks and it has everyone on edge. This time when they attack it seems no different.

Everytime they go into battle, you come along to keep sari out if the way. That's just the way things were, it's a dynamic that works.

This of course is making Optimus more protective over you, but also making it hard for him to focus on the battle at hand. Always looking for you whilst still in the middle of fighting. He's concerned okay!😔

Starscream of course sees this and uses it against Optimus, aims his null rays at you and fires. Optimus rushes in and takes the shot for you and it hits him in the shoulder plating. Now it isn't a bad wound but it's not good either. But it sure does piss Optimus all the way off!

Like Optimus snaps his helm to snarl at starscream so fast there was a definite cracking sound. And the sound Optimus made was borderline animalistic, pared with his frame shaking from pure rage and pain. His engine adding that extra danger vibes.

Now from your position, you can't see Optimus' face. But you can Obviously see his body language. And so can everyone else on the battlefield.

When I tell you everyone stopped mid fight and starred, they 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙣 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙙. Like Optics/Eyes wide and everything.

#newfearunlocked

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I am so so so sorry this took forever! 😭😭😭😭 like a lot of stuff came up and tbh I completely forgot about this!! But there will be more of it just most likely not anytime soon.

But I will ask: What are 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 headcanons on Country TFA Optimus prime??

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[transingthoseformers]

Blackarachnia was seducing a lot of bots in the show, and it worked on a lot of characters but at the same time Blitzwing Sentinel and presumably every bot on Cybertron who’s never encountered organics find her repulsive.

I just… does that mean Bulkhead Wasp and the Dino Bots are Cybertronian equivalent of Monster f*ckers??

Yes

Is Optimus included in the monsterfucker category here considering his thing for Blackarachnia or no

And, tbh for Wasp, he does become a monster in s3— so Waspinator might round out to a fair Monster Loving Monster situation

The dinobots I can kinda see an angle here given they were created on Earth and they understand what it's like to be different considering how they also have animalistic altmodes like her (hell, one can argue with the dinobots the altmode and root mode are swapped for the dinobots, as they were created as saurian and discovered their humanoid modes later)

I can't come up with any explanation for Bulkhead he's just a monsterfucker sgfddghdfhfhhf

[mychlapci]

Since Grimlock and the dinobots basically got orphaned in the movie (rip Ratchet and Wheeljack) they need to get a new mommy, and Kup is the perfect candidate. The dinobots like Kup's stories, Kup is nice to them, and the dinobots already sort of knew Kup from overhearing Ratchet talk about his university days knowing Kup as the hot older mech who'd give lectures and offer "extra curricular". He'd be the perfect replacement for mommy Ratchet if they could talk him into it.

It was surprisingly easy to get Kup to let them drink off his saggy old titties. The dinobots were the youngest autobots they had, even Rodimus had a few hundred years on them. Grimlock was ready to start pushing Kup to letting them drink from him, but he was happy to find out he didn't have to think up a plan. Kup was insistent his big babies needed better energon for how much hard work they did, he may be old but he certainly still has enough on tap for his dinos. The team was happy to take anything, even if Kup had to break up some fights on who got to drink first. Grimlock would hold Kup up while he and Swoop latched onto his nozzles like good little bots and drank their fill. Kup would just pet their helms and tell them how the situation actually reminded him of something from back in the day. Once Grimlock and Swoop traded positions with the other dinobots, they'd curl up with nice and full bellies and listen to more stories to fall asleep.

Once Kup had all his dinos fed and down for naps, he'd lay in the snuggly pile of dino with them and rest his eyes for a bit. The dinobots may have had a half baked plan for getting a new milky mommy, but Kup had a real scheme for how to get the dinobots' acts together. Clearly the poor things just needed more structure and discipline, Kup was happy to step up and teach them. If it just meant having to consume more energon to keep his pouches full for his big bitties, Kup was happy to do it. Besides, it was nice to be appreciated by such an enthusiastic group.

aaaaaa, the poor Dinobots lost their mom and dad, but they still need their milk… They’re so lucky Kup is around. They like Kup.

[annabelle-creart]

Boulder the Dino-bot. Shenanigans, part 3

---

Blades: I don't think that's a good idea

Boulder: why not? Blades already heard Cody, if Team has a pet, rescues will be easier!

Blades: Boulder, not to be a partypooper, but, we are not even allowed to have a pet! We don't even know how to educate one! Pets back on Cybertron were already made, and believe me, it wasn't easy either

Boulder: But Blades, do you imagine a pet? Boulder always wanted a pet! Pleaseeeeeee!

Blades: ...ahg! Fine! Let's see if we get something

---

Blades: I'm not following you into your crazy shit even again

Boulder: It wasn't that bad. And Boulder has a new pet too!

Blades: That's not a pet, that's a plant, and because of you, we're stuck cleaning the ship while the others play videogames! But I have to admit, your claws were more usuful than I expected yesterday

Boulder: Thanks! Boulder knew big claws would be useful!

Boulder: Boulder always wanted big claws like Chainsaw...

Blades: Sorry?

Boulder: what? Nothing!

Blades: okay...

---

Graham: hey, bud'

Boulder: hm? Graham, hi!

Graham: What are you doing?

Boulder: Boulder´s making homework!

Graham: now? I thought you were with the rest of the team outside

Boulder: But this is more fun! Boulder likes your homework

Graham: really...? I have to admit, I never thought someone would ever like homework

Boulder: why not? it´s funny! there´s so many things Boulder doesn´t know... can you teach Boulder everything, right?

Graham: everything? that would be impossible! Life is too short and no human had reached so much knowledge

Boulder: Can you teach Boulder everything you know then?

Graham: well... I can make that

Boulder: Really? Thanks, Graham! You´re the best human ever!

---

Kade: Ahg! God! Boulder, I need to know if you´re not understanding because you´re not paying attention or something else

Boulder: Boulder´s paying attention, really! It´s just, is confusing! Is Luke or Anakin?

Heatwave: I told you Boulder would not understand in the release order, is hard to get it the first time

Kade: Is not that hard!

Heatwave: For you

Kade: Fine! I´ll put the first chapter then

...

Kade: So? Did you finally got all the situation?

Boulder: yes

Kade: great! And how it was?

Boulder: ...Boulder doesn´t like these movies

Heatwave: Sorry?

Kade: the fuck?

---

Dani: Hm...

Kade: Dani

Dani: AH-! Kade! Don't do that, you scared me!

Kade: okay! Okay, calm down! I just wanted to talk

Dani: about what?

Kade: About Boulder

Dani: oh yeah? Something to say?

Kade: I thought you were just paranoid...

Dani: But?

Kade: but Boulder recognized most of the movies battle movements and compared Stormtroppers with Cybertronian soldiers

Dani: and?

Kade: Dani, that bot looks and acts like if he had lived under a rock all his life! How is possible he knows battle and defense movements? Even Heatwave was surprised

Dani: I told ya! There's something off with that bot, but Graham and Cody love him, and dad will not help us on this

Kade: And? We don't need them! And we should know what's happening, don't you think?

Dani: hmp! Welcome to the club, detective Kade

Kade: detective Dani, there's something wrong, and we have to know what is it

---

*Meanwhile in another place, on Mainland*

---

Miko: Who the hell told you the x goes there?

Jack: am, the teacher?

Miko: It´s the most obvious and ugly mistake of all Algebra! What´s wrong with you?

Jack: Since when are you a Mathematician genius?

Miko: How do you think I applied for the exchange program? I needed good grades!

Ratchet: OPTIMUS!

Miko: Oh shit, someone´s mad

OP: Ratchet? What´s wrong, old friend?

Ratchet: DON´T CALL ME OLD FRIEND, YOU...

Miko: Don´t mind us, insult him as much as you need

Jack: Miko!

Ratchet: Fuck with it- Optimus, I know you have your secrets and your things, but of ALL things, you denied me to know THIS?! What made you think you couldn´t told me a LITERAL PATROL SHIP CRASHED ON EARTH!?

Miko: Really?!

Jack: Patrol ship? Like Cybertronian?

OP: Ratchet, I know it is unfair, but this was information I couldn´t share easily, but I think you already know what´s going on

Ratchet: That´s the problem *He then slammed a datapad on OP´s chest* I actually don´t know WHAT´S GOING ON!

OP: What?

Miko: Why are you so mad, then?

Ratchet: That Dino-bot is not mine

OP ...what? *OP took a look at the datapad*

Ratchet: If you wanted to keep those rescue bots secured, okay! I´m still mad at you but I got it! They know no shit about the war and I can get it, but a dino-bot? Optimus, what were you thinking? Haven´t you saw the spikes before?

OP: I knew- I doubted, but their leader- Heatwave told me the dino bot was part of their team, and if you saw the bot- Boulder does not have the frame of a soldier, none of them have, i couldn´t get them here, I didn't wanted them to suffer the same we have been suffering since we came here

Ratchet: That's no excuse! Anything related to dino-bots is my problem! Why didn't you told me?

OP: ...because I didn't have the Spark to separate the group or to bring someone like that to their death

Ratchet: Ahg, Optimus...

Miko: Okay? Time out! Can you explain, please, what is happening?

OP: You'll see, Miko-

Ratchet: Nobody's gonna know about this conversation! Not even Bulkhead, Arcee or Raph

Miko: What?!

Ratchet: No one!

Jack: Okay...

Ratchet: *sigh* dino-bots are a subspecies of transformers based on the creatures that lived here time ago. And time ago, I was working with Wheeljack to make them, to have soldiers and win the war, but it was a hard search

OP: The original investigations that Ratchet and Wheeljack used were stolen, and all the copies of those were destroyed, but I could get the only available copy that was integrated to a secret database on the Archives I used to work on thanks to my access as Prime

Ratchet: and despite Wheeljack and I had sucess, the thief still had the copies, we knew something was off since the beginning

Miko: But why didn't you tried to find the thief?

OP: we found too late, at the edge of war, that those copies and the original investigation were stolen and destroyed a lot of time before I became Prime, when Ratchet and I were still apprentices

Miko: What?! And nobody did nothing?!

OP: it was the only way to keep the secret database a secret

Ratchet: basically, we came pretty late to the party

OP: Nonetheless, the only dino-bots I have ever heard of were the ones Ratchet created

Miko: and what about this Boulder?

OP: I thought Ratchet knew about the bot, that's why I tried to keep a secret their arrival, but it seems I made a mistake

Ratchet: To know that there are more dino-bots outside means that Wheeljack and I weren't the only ones that were trying to play with fire, which is dangerous even for just the try

Jack: but why? A dino-bot isn't just a tranformers made dinosaur?

Ratchet: No... ahg, dino-bots are not supposed to exist, and the investigation had a secret copy because it was illegal. Transformers are not supposed to become animals, except the ones that were created for that

OP: compared at what you may think we can't become anything we want, the alt-mode we choose needs to have our size and the mechanical pieces should match with ours

Ratchet: but dino-bots are like mechanical versions of dinosaurs, they don't become dinosaurs because of the scans on the t-cog, they become like that because they were CREATED to transform into that, like if the alt-mode came by default

OP: which means that if Boulder was created by someone and it wasn't Ratchet, probably the one who stole and destroyed the first copies of said investigation

Miko: damn...

Jack: that sounds bad

OP: It is, because it means that whoever made Boulder, if is still alive or a relative has those copies, it could be used for evil purpuses on the wrong hands

Ratchet: we have to go with the bot and talk with that group. Oh! And Optimus. Please for once reply! Those kids at that island are about to break the notification bar

OP: ...

Jack: That explains how he knew about that, I guess

Miko: You have to take care more of your secret messages, OP

OP: *sigh* I should

[fictional-love-is-my-life]

Hi, would you do how bay hotrod, Optimus, hotrod and Dino would react to seeing their s/o being flirted with by a member of the elite guard or a high ranking soldier? ( p.s, anyone getting close to optimus's s/o would probably crap themselves after knowing that they are taken and Optimus prime is their s/o) 😂

Optimus:

He has no worries or insecurities if his S/O gets flirted with. He trusts them completely and knows they have chosen him to be with.

He will not act aggressively or possessively, because he doesn't need to be. He knows his S/O can care for themselves, and trusts that they will say no to the other bot. He may only feel awkward if it was one of his leading soldiers. Just because he doesn't want any awkward feelings on the battlefield or if they have to work together.

If he sees someone flirting with his S/O, he will walk over to them and act friendly. He will let his S/O introduce him as their love. He does feel a little sorry for the other mech. He can see the shock on their face. But he harbors no ill feelings toward them, especially if the other bot didn't know.

Dino:

He hates it when others try to flirt with his S/O. He doesn't care what their rank is, no one goes near HIS darling.

He'll saunter over to them and wrap his arms around his S/O. Depending on how annoyed or possessive he's feeling, he may even kiss his S/O in front of the other bot. He doesn't care if it's his superior, they have to learn that his S/O is his and he doesn't share.

Afterward, he will make sure to love bomb and shower his S/O with affection. He knows they are amazing and could find love anywhere. He knows for a fact that many other bots have a crush on his S/O. So, he spends time doting on his S/O, making sure they know he can give them what they need and want.

Hot Rod:

He gets annoyed any time he sees his S/O getting flirted with. He trusts them completely, but he still dislikes seeing it happen.

Most of the time, when it is a random bot, he will tell them to leave in a stern tone of voice. Or he will simply just whisk his S/O away and out of the situation. But when it comes to a superior, he finds it harder to be mean about it. He doesn't want to mess up his reputation or make his high-ranking boss angry. Instead, he'll walk over to his S/O and stand by their side while making pleasant small talk with the high-ranking mech. He'll let his S/O say that they are dating, and he'll enjoy seeing the disappointment on the other bots' faces.

But when they are back home, he'll voice his distaste at seeing his S/O getting flirted with. Then he'll make sure to cuddle up with his S/O and get all their attention, so happy that they chose him out of everyone else.

[istherewifiinhell]

oh yeah here my take on es situation

SILENCE! JB AND BABY SCREAMER

[ID: an es jaw breaker toy in dino mode holding a minuscule g1 screamer figure in his small front arms. END]

once again sentencing tf fans for 1 yr in the SU discourse mines. tv shows happen when they happen. stop but what abouting a trailer lol. (not to mention s1 framing had megs as all ominous and we all know THAT DIDNT HAPPEN? trailers mean literally nothing wrt plot) u make up something in ur head then ur mad? at my beloved show with what we have no reason to doubt is continues to be a very competent creative team??? at my elita interaction with another woman? die. or look at these and calm down.

[ID: es trash and jb toys in bot modes with the tiny screamer on JB's arm. END]

yes i only have boy malto bots cause i hate women and transppl. duh.

keeping the tag blocked also cause toy spoilers make me sad. to bad i cant block them from the store shelves tho. prowl cv roddy retool!!! what are u doing here. etc.

[must-be-mythtaken]

D&D Sessions be like:

I don't imagine you used a password."

"The what?"

"Exactly."

existential crisis

We go down-chutes

tubules

Mushrooms and fungus growing here, inside tubules like terrariums

Froyo drinks from the spigot. Texture of molasses, tastes like mead

"It's no moon goo, but it'll do!"

It has a nourishing quality

WE'RE IN AN ARTHUR DENT SITUATION (computer building an infinite mead jug)

HALO-BOT TRANSFORM! FORM OF: KOAS BUZZBEARD!

The (em)Brittled Button by Lemony Snicket

HECKLEDEKECKLEDECKECKLEDECKECKLE

skeletal dinosaurs appear from openings

"you're the reason mom and dad split up!!" (Koas-as-Halo shoots Koas-who-was-Halo-bot)

Koas on Koas violence

PVP therapy

Pogo wards the pottery with his trunk (it's in the trunk)

Froyo karate chops the dino skeletons

Halo takes a spear to the bum

BONE SKELETON

Roll for oof

His big padded buttocks

BONE SKELETON MONSTER

"You overfed Goldie!! It's your fault he died!!"

[kicksnscribs]

Adding onto this by my chest still hurts and I have nothing else better to do anyway:

I’m still trying to get a good grasp on scale in this story, but for the most part the guidelines I’m currently using are

Casettebots and (Minimus) are around 6 to 7 ft and are capable of mass displacement due to their smaller size,

Minibots are around 10 to 12 ft tall with Rung being somewhere in between a Minibot and Scout class in terms of height, pushing about 13 ft

Scout class bots (Rodimus, Skids, Prowl etc.) range anywhere from 14 to 18 ft tall

“Leader” Class bots ( Megatron, Ultra Magnus) range anywhere from 25 to 30ft, Whirl is nestled neatly between Scout and Leader at about 24 ft tall (though this may change in the future) Megatron can mass displace to about Cassettebot size if needed but it takes a ton of energy to do so.

===*

Capsize is a neutral bot in service to the Galactic Railroad, serving as a ferryman between the space elevators in his sector to the massive space-faring vessel that serves as a distribution center to the universe. He is a kind soul, taking the time to console Leigh when she first arrives at the space elevator with Leo Prime in tow before realizing that she has to part ways with her traveling companion.

At first I was planning on space pirate adventures with him, but I’m not sure if I can find a way to fit that into the storyline yet…

===*

Sunder’s abilities can affect more than just Cybertronians. Thankfully, the unlikely friendship Leigh has apparently formed with Ravage comes to bail her out of a horrifying situation.

===*

The Rodimus is just there for practice, but besides that I have a running joke that human appendixes are considered a delicacy in some alien cultures and Leigh has long since offered hers up for a bit of coin when she was down on her luck (she was severely underpaid she would later find out, only adding to her dour and distrusting nature at the beginning of the story) The aliens here are just some funky little dudes I drew on a whim that somehow turned out to be a pretty fun concept to play with. I like their funky eyebrow anatomy lol

===*

The Sauroids are just a fun species to draw in general that I created out of nowhere. I just love the idea of space dinos developing tech that’s just huge mechanical arms 😊

Exploratory concepts for Phantasmagoria that i did earlier this year, trying to slowly work on all of my storylines and this one has been fighting for a while to get back into the spotlight

Edit: forgor a pic

[sphnyspinspin]

Hey…uh…can I ask you guys something? Let’s say-hypothetically…I made a sorta-Rescue Vigilante AU for the RBA recruits. Here’s what I’m picturing:

Medix got exposed to Synth-en and is a mad scientist medic by day and DJ by night

Hoist is stuck in Dino mode and starts having a couple of anger issues, but is still an amazing engineer

Whirl has microbot scraplets that make her slightly crazy and shape-shift but is still a great detective

Wedge is in contact with dark energon and communicates with the dead and has strength and speed

Hot Shot is the reincarnation of a prime and was nowhere near prepared for the amount of emotional turmoil he had to go through illusions, tests, full on memories of trauma that kept flashing in front of him

And then they all became outcasts because they all felt that they weren’t rescue bot material but they kept training at the academy.That’s right, they stayed at the academy in this AU, but they couldn’t become rescue bots. So they looked in other places once they graduated. Were they all looking for jobs? Was there a mission they all got paid to do? Were they all just bored and did something spontaneous? Are they all trying to find someone to help them with their situations? Did they all just bond over their shared internal struggles?

I honestly have no idea yet.

All I know is that they become a vigilante hero team, sooner or later, who do their best to help others on Cybertron or Earth or both. Even though the “system” or something, deemed them too…out-of control. But, their teachers have their full support.

Then blah blah they all grow as healthier individuals with each other’s help, blah blah blah, they prove themselves to be great heroes to Cybertron and Earth, blah blah blah,they all accept their own unique traits that make them special, blah blah blah eventually become renowned vigilantes without becoming rescue bots, blah blah blah, while all their peers who supported them, who never gave up on them at the academy cheered them on.

I just wanted to visualize the gang being all angsty, like transformers prime level angsty, but not too disturbing. I want them to be under spark crushing stress but not too completely traumatized. You know what I mean? I could’ve made this AU way darker, but it wouldn’t really make too much sense with how inconsistent the first draft was. Yeesh. It was a horror show I tell you.

[disgusdead]

No Bot’s Land

G1 Transformers x Reader

Summary: 3 courageous travelers and their pet dino delved into the Cave of Doom in search of a coveted treasure key. But of course, one such key was guarded by one formidable foe.

*reupload

“Uh, guys? This is a bad idea.”

The mouth of the cave yawned big and treacherous at the fall of night. The dark energy emanating from inside almost made the 3 Autobots and their pet dino want to turn back whence they came. But for the sake of Wheeljack’s VacBot 3000, they must persevere onward.

“Mirage, you are key to this operation,” Wheeljack whispered back, his blinking ears yielding a source of light in the otherwise inky blackness. “We need you to get close enough to grab that key.”

The other Autobot made an uncertain face. “Can’t we just ask nicely? It works most of the time.”

“It’s a dragon, Mirage. We’ll be molten sludge if we wake it up. We gotta be quiet. We go in, snatch what we need, and we make dust. Got it?”

Mirage sighed. They wouldn’t have this problem if only Jack hadn’t been so obvious looting energy vials from the treasure vault, and the guardian dragon wouldn’t have made obtaining the key an actual death quest.

How on Primus’ shiny Cybertron were they going to pull this off!

Grimlock waved about his little arms impatiently. “Me, Grimlock, no scared of dragon! Me go!”

“Grimlock, no!”

So much for bringing Wheelie along to tame the rowdy Dinobot, the infant didn’t exactly make the situation any more desirable either.

“Don’t worry about Grimlock and me, take back we will the treasure box key!” he sang.

Slapping a hand over his face, Wheeljack and Mirage trudged into the cavern of doom, hid behind a large boulder, and watched as Grimlock fumbled in the dark. The way his heavy feet thumped against the solid ground, despite his effort to stay as silent as can be, was causing everyone’s transformation cog to grind anxiously.

“Grimlock, get back here now!” hissed Wheeljack.

The Dinobot puffed. “Ah! Me see key! Me go get now.”

In his haste to be a hero, the poor thing hadn’t seen the devious stone embedded in his path, intending to rob anyone’s chance at getting out alive. A wonderfully placed rock, to be frank, with an equally important agenda.

The dino tripped over, met the floor with a harsh, dull clank, and skidded Wheelie across the cold stone ground like they were on ice. The dragon stirred in their sleep, holding everyone in suspense as they rolled to the opposite side, facing away from the key. Wheelie and Grimlock curled up into a ball, covering their optics with their arms, bracing for the death that was not going to come.

“Alright, I’ll go.” Mirage peeled himself from behind the boulder, slunk soundlessly across the no bot’s land, and fetched up against the side of the dais. “Grimlock, Wheelie, give me a boost.”

Cautiously Mirage hauled himself up onto the platform, immediately spotting the shiny gold key lying enticingly next to the slumbering creature. As his fingers made contact with the metal, though, the guardian flipped back over once again—long taloned claws coming down for him—for the key.

It knocked Mirage onto his back, pinning him in place.

“It got Mirage! They got Mirage!”

But Wheeljack’s panic was cut short when one green eye fluttered open, pupil nothing but a black slit. Mirage, in his state of terror, had nearly forgotten about his ability to turn invisible. But it was too late now—he had been caught. He would become molten sludge like Jack had dreaded.

Then the eye shut, returning the titan to slumber once more.

If he could, he would’ve sung a long prayer of thanks to their one and only birther Vector Sigma. But their getaway came first. Mirage slipped the gold key to Wheelie, ordering them to get out of there and don’t look back, that he would be with them soon.

After a few more altercations back and forth in hushed tones, the others left at last. A surprised Mirage almost let out a yelp when the large, black claws of the reptile behemoth tugged him closer, snuggling its scaly head against him, almost purring. He made no move to get away, instead closing his optics, huddled into the circle of the dragon’s body, finding comfort in the pleasant warmth.

***

Morning rose and with it came a series of noises that startled Mirage from his sleep mode. Gunfire, things shattering, and your terrified screams.

Hopping off the bed, he rushed out to the living room—only to find everyone had taken cover behind something as some small circular droid, armed with small cannons, were going full Clint Eastwood like in those old western films he’d watched with you. It was chaotic, but your shriek rose above the pandemonium from behind the upturned coffee table.

“Wheeljack, shut that thing off!”

“Hm… the home security protocol needs a little tweaking still. The cleaning performance seems to be working just fine.”

“What kind of cleaning are you talking about!”

“Don’t worry, Y/N, I’ve got it under control.”

“Now!”

You all were lucky it didn’t dispense actual bullets or high plasma bolts, or you would’ve raised a bigger hell than what Wheeljack had just unleashed. Still, the mild energy bursts from the vacuum stung like popping hot oil, you could see faint red spots starting to pepper your arms.

Placing both hands on your hips, you rounded on the culprit, finger pointing. “That’s it. You are forbidden from touching batteries for a month, mister!”

“But I need the Sparks for my creations,” Wheeljack whined.

“Two months!”

[automatonne]

ohohoho what abt either some dino/bot, bw megs, or terror/saur? im good with some vore stuffs if thats okay!

Of course, beloved. Some sprinklings of vore for everyone. 💕

BW Megs

Hooooooo, this one is a sadist. He likes to play it out. Stalk slowly toward his cornered prey, grinning toothily in either form. Pressing their head to his hungrily grumbling belly. Mocking them, too.

“Oh, whatever is the matter? Your kind are so noble, aren’t they? Are you really going to sit there and let me go hungry?”

But once the teasing ends, the feeding is quick. He may come across as elegant, but he’s as greedy as they come. His prey is snapped up in quick order, and with a satisfied belch, he settles down to enjoy it.

In beast mode, after he’s fueled up, he’ll lie down on his side and enjoy the desperate wiggles in his tank. His tail waves lazily like the big fat cat of a dinosaur he is.

If in robot mode, he likes to kick back and massage his squirming stomach lovingly for a while. He does love himself very much, you know. He’ll tease his food occasionally, but he’s much more concerned with treating himself to a doting belly rub or a long, bubbly stay in the jacuzzi. Food comas are in order.

Willing prey fuels his god complex like nobody’s business.

Din/obot

(spongebob narrator voice) aaaah, la narrative foile

That’s not to say that Dino can’t be aggressive, in his own way. However, whereas Megs is a bit more interested in humiliation, Dino eats others for the practicality of it—if he’s hungry, he needs to eat. It’s reflected in his hunting habits. When he hunts local wildlife when ener/gon is scarce, he makes the kill quick and doesn’t draw it out at all. There’s no honor in that.

There’s really no honor at all in eating the living, either—but he can make exceptions (re: the clone). A couple of prerequisites have to be met first, though: he has to be hungry, and his opponent has to be inferior. Absolutely mediocre in a fight. Worthy opponents will not meet their ends in his tank. Weaklings will.

Despite his strong honor code, make no mistake, he does tease. Not as bad as Megs, though. He’ll get in a good one-liner before someone disappears behind his glass shard fangs.

“Be grateful that a warrior such as myself would put you to better use.”

Also, as has been pretty much established in canon... he’s shameless. He’ll just lay in the control room of the Axa/lon, if that’s where his feeding occurred, laying on his beast mode’s side and appreciating the wriggles inside his gullet, not caring who sees. (The Max/imals are INFINITELY grossed out by this. Pri/mal is thankful he often saves the day, but all but begs he takes his wiggly belly and meaty belches somewhere else. Dino snorts but drags his hefty belly to his room.)

His teasing pretty much stops once you’re down his throat. No need to kick someone while they’re already as down as they can get. Whoever is in there is just food.

Willing prey he’s actually strangely touched by, even if he doesn’t say it. I feel like there’s a part of the whole warrior personality that makes him a good candidate for safe situations. He is willing to be another’s shield, if the situation calls for that kind of pragmatism.

Terror/saur

so we all saw the bird swallowing scene and collectively died as a community, huh

Believe it or not, Terror actually prefers his meals to be on the smaller end, like that unfortunate bird that met its end. They’re easier to swallow and don’t cause his belly as many problems.

He’s not a glutton like Tara can be, but it’s not uncommon for the Preds to be out in the field and look over to see a large bulge snaking its way down the ptera’s long neck.

The small prey thing is actually a pragmatism thing, too—if he eats too much, he can’t fly. And, given Megs’ relatively short patience with him, he doesn’t want to be a sitting duck with a full gut, even if it does feel good.

He’s always secretly thought that Rat/trap looks irresistibly delicious. In battle, he regularly fantasizes about snapping up the rodent in beast mode, to add insult to injury, letting his fingers follow the helpless lump’s journey down his neck and into his satisfied tank.

Alas. He must satisfy himself with birds and other little things, until then. But when that day comes, he won’t mind being a little weighed down.

[transformer-imagines]

Happy Together

No one asked for this, but I’m the one in control of the aux cord on this blog and I wanna indulge myself with some cute Dinobot shenanigans

Sludge (G1) x Bot!Reader (sfw)

2672 Words

Everyone and their creator knew that the Ark’s med bay was understaffed. Ratchet was the only one qualified enough to consider a doctor, so mechs tried to help out however they could. Being in the war for the better part of your life, you had picked up what medical knowledge you could in order to aid your comrades; you couldn’t offer much, but you tried to help Ratchet as much as you could. Normally this translated into running errands, taking basic vitals, or doing some patch work.

It was all hands on deck in the med bay today. A particularly nasty skirmish sent so many bots your way that anyone in non-critical condition was asked to sit on the floor. You were scurrying about between them, jotting down names and conditions on your datapad. Even the thick platted Dinobots hadn’t come out of the fight clean. The aspiring team medic, Swoop, was one of the few permitted a seat on an exam table, Wheeljack working to reattach his wing. He was the only Dinobot that you had ever really spoken to, being in and around the med bay so often. He was an excitable and enthusiastic young bot, not something anyone would be able to tell with the way his vocalizer was whining static.

His brothers had tried valiantly to remain with him in the med bay but were shooed out by Wheeljack; there were just too many injured bots for them to be taking up all that space. Only Sludge was allowed to stay, waiting to get patched up with the other mechs on the floor. You were saving him for last, not overly eager to face him; his intimidating size dwarfed most bots and the Dinobots weren’t well known for their friendly dispositions.

Eventually, you could put it off no longer. You tried your best to exude confidence and professionalism in your EM field as you approached. Sludge took notice, straightening up from tracing absentminded patterns on the floor panels to send a curious look your way. Oh Primus, he was sitting down and you barely even reached the top of his chassis.

“So, uh, you’re name’s Sludge, right? I’m Y/N.” He gave a hum in response, nodding his head in agreement that yes, his name was in fact Sludge. “Can you show me where you’re hurt?” He nodded again, moving his right pede out for you to inspect. What you could make out as his alt dino casing was shredded, jagged metal torn and fraying out from the wound.

“Right next to big explosion. Took out him Swoop. Lots of shrapnel, tore off wing and hit me in side.” He turned slightly and gestured to the kibble on his back. “More here.” You gestured for him to turn fully so you could inspect the damage as you jotted down his abridged account on your datapad. He was lucky his plating was so thick, as the force of the explosion probably would’ve hit major energon lines in any other bot. Most of his damage was superficial, deep as it was, though the shrapnel had managed to nick a few minor energon lines.

“There wouldn’t have been an explosion in the first place if it wasn’t for you ditzy dinos!” You finished jotting down the damage before looking sharply in the direction of the whiny outburst. Of course it was Huffer. “If you hadn’t given us away, none of us would be in here!”

“We’re all on the same team, Huffer,” you said with a wave of your servo. “So stop harassing patients or I’ll turn off your vocalizer.” A resounding laugh sounded from behind you.

“You must have a glitch in your memory core, Huffer,” said Hound. “The Dinobots gave us away by saving your tailpipe!”

“I could’ve taken care of it!”

You left the two to their bickering, patting your patient on his knee plating to get his attention. “You’re not too badly damaged. Since I got to you last for diagnostic, I’m gonna go ahead a patch you up first, okay?” You offered Sludge a kind smile, trying to provide better bedside manner than Huffer. He took it, returning your smile with one of his own and moving to expose the damage on his leg more as you fished around subspace for your welder and some titanium patches.

It certainly wasn’t the last time you saw Sludge. He had a knack for denting his plating, either over the course of sparing with his brothers or while out in the field. You would’ve thought that he’d just get Swoop to take care of it, but more and more frequently he would be stopping by the med bay; he said he liked how much quieter it was there than in the retrofitted cave the Dinobots had claimed as their own.

It was almost laughable how intimidating you found Sludge when you first met. He had a gentle spark, reserved and well-intentioned. Sure he didn’t have the fastest processor, but you couldn’t keep up with Perceptor either; and what was a smart mech worth if they weren’t also kind? You’d much rather spend time with Sludge than Shockwave. It didn’t hurt that he was a good listener, too. Despite what other Autobots might suggest, he had a good memory, asking for updates on personal projects that you had mentioned offhandedly the last time you saw him. And he had a creative mind! Swoop had been talking to you about how Sludge had recently taken up two-dimensional etching and drawing. And he had a handsome face, delicate touch when getting your attention, and –

Wait what? Hold on, were you…did you have a crush on Sludge? Oh Primus, this was just what you needed in the middle of a war. Still, you could do worse. And the spark wants what the spark wants… So what, maybe you did have a crush on him. You might as well try and see where it goes; in this war you had to make what joys you could.

“Is it just me or does Y/N look like they’re trying to court somebot?”

It was gossip time in the empty corridor, two mechs making good use of the late hour and lack of nearby audio receptors to concern themselves with the lives of others.

“You just noticed? Yea, I caught em in the wash polishing like it was going out of style,” Cliffjumper gave a short laugh at the memory. “You’da thunk I’d caught em sneaking extra rations with the way they bolted outta there.”

“Any ideas who the lucky mech is?” Powerglide didn’t give the minibot a moment to answer before continuing. “I overheard from Doc Ratch one of the Dinobots has got a lil crush; maybe we’ve got some love-birds on base?”

“Primus, I hope not. No one deserves to have a dumb dino on their tail; they’re so stupid and clumsy, they’d wind up melting the poor bot down! Honestly, I think Y/N deserves better than getting slagged by Slag.”

“You’re just jealous you aren’t getting any,” the plane sniped.

“Powerglide, I’m just a realist. I can’t help that your processor is full of that romantic scrap.”

“Cliffjumper, I can’t help that you have an incurably abrasive personality.” Powerglide gave the Porsche a hearty pat as he began walking further down the hall. “Come on, maybe we can get Ratch to fix that personality component of yours! Or at least we can sit down; my struts are killing me!”

“I do not have an abrasive personality, you silicon sanded showboat!”

Neither took notice of the saddened giant on the other side of the corridor, watching the retreating mechs from around the corner.

Sitting in one of the metal booths stuck to the far wall of the Rec Room, you found yourself thinking it all through. Lost in the swirling liquid of your energon cube, you wondered if you had been reading the situation wrong. You thought that Sludge had reciprocated your feelings, but he hadn’t really responded to your efforts. He never mimicked your attempts at posing or polishing. Maybe he was just unaware of Cybertronian flirting? It would make sense, as he was made on Earth, but even then you would’ve thought someone would take pity on him and explain your efforts. It wasn’t like you were being subtle, even in non-Cybertronian terms. You even got advice from Carly, trying to figure out how she’d won over someone as oblivious as Spike. You tried to be as obvious as possible, complimenting his skills and appearance and inviting him to recreational activities. But even then, he would look flustered and come up with some reason to turn you down. Maybe he was just trying to let you down on amicable terms, ignore your advances but maintain your acquaintanceship. Maybe he-

“Hi! Room here to sit?”

The scratchy voice startled you out of your reprieve; you must’ve really been in your own processor not to notice the dinobot flyer approaching.

“Oh, Swoop! Yeah, of course, take a seat,” you gestured across the table. It was almost humorous watching him try to squeeze himself into the clearly too small booth; being the smallest dinobot still made him one of the biggest Autobots. Finally situating himself, he flashed you a mischievous smirk and his optics flashed in mirth. “How’s it going?”

“Good! Had to get out of Dino Den, though; too loud for reading when Grimlock and Slag fighting.” He emphasized his point by producing an anatomical datapad and setting it on the table.

“Well that’s too bad,” you said. “How’s everyone else doing?”

“Him Snarl hog TV all day, watching Nurse Whitney.” His tone held a slight annoyance at the distraction it must’ve posed to his own studying; you knew he was quite fond of the show, and probably found it near impossible not to be watching it. His optics lit up in sudden remembrance, a squawk making its way past his vocalizer as he straightened his posture. “Sludge work on project! Big art project!”

“Oh?”

“Yes! It pretty, very pretty! Him Sludge good at art. Best Dinobot, maybe even best Autobot! And good at other things too!” Swoop emphasized his point by holding aloft a digit, helm held high with a self-assured expression. “Him strong, very strong! Last fight, him take out twenty, no, thirty Decepticons! Him good at keeping others safe, protecting. Oh, and him best fisher of Dinobots! Good provider! Patient and quiet and-”

“Wait, what’s fishing?”

“Fish earth animals, live in water. Humans and Dinobots like catching fish, very fun and -”

It was hard not to notice the lumbering form of Sludge entering the Rec behind the chatty Pteranodon. His sweeping optics seemed to stop in the direction of your booth (though you suppose it would be hard not to notice Swoop, what with his crest and loud voice), his optics seeming to blink out for a second. Swoop continued on, oblivious to his brother’s presence.

That is until Sludge began stomping his way over. You quickly grabbed onto the table, thankful that it was bolted into the wall as the ground shook under his weight. It wasn’t often you were reminded of his tremorous step, but it seemed that whatever had gotten under his plating was enough for him to have forgotten the virtue of gentle pedes. You didn’t expect to see his normally soft features so soured, mouth drawn into a tight line and optics darkened into a furrowed glare. With his massive stride, it didn’t take long before Sludge reached you. His servo came to rest behind Swoop, the back of the booth’s bench groaning under his weight as he leaned down, optic to optic with his brother.

“What you Swoop think you do?” His voice seemed edged with a nervous worry.

“Me just talking to Y/N,” Swoop answered, flashing the Brontosaurus the same mischievous smile he had given you earlier. “You know they want go fishing? Me say you should take them!”

“Yeah,” you interjected, ignoring the fact that you had never discussed joining the Dinobots on their fishing exploits. “I think it sounds like fun!” You couldn’t help the eagerness that steeped into your EM field, hopeful that you might finally get an opportunity to spend some true quality time with him outside of the occasional med bay visit.

Sludge seemed to soften a bit at your reply, gifting you with a gentle smile before his brow furrowed. His smile turned to a slight pout as his gaze drifted down, seeming to be a bit lost in thought. He exvented sharply, lugging Swoop out of his seat and maneuvering the now indignant mech around to carry him under one arm. Ignoring his squirming brother, he turned to you with a sad smile that he tried to mask with a projected air of confidence in his EM.

“Me Sludge think on it. Would be fun. Uh, him Ratchet ask to talk to him Swoop, so we see you Y/N later.” With the lame excuse, he turned to leave the Rec. With a loud squawk, Swoop made his opinion on the matter known.

“No! Him Sludge like Y/N! Like whole bunch!” That seemed to stop the brontosaurus dead in his tracks, grip loosened enough in shock that the loud flyer was able to transform out of his grasp. He seemed stuck in place as his processor caught up with the situation. In contrast, you and Swoop seemed to be a flurry of movement, standing up from your seat in the booth as the Pteranodon perched himself on the back of the bench.

“Really?” Your response, lackluster as it might’ve been, was all you could dumbly muster up at the revelation.

“Yes, him won’t shut up about it! ‘Oh, them Y/N so nice, very sweet. Pretty face, pretty smile. Feel like me Sludge melt when they look at me. So smart, so kind.’” Swoop’s impression left quite a bit to be desired, but that was the last thing on your mind, your gaze drifting to the gentle giant in question as you took in his words. Sludge had sheepishly turned halfway towards you, optics firmly locked to the ground and servos fiddling together nervously. “Us Dinobots try talk to him about anything, him always distracted or drawing you.” That seemed to catch Sludge’s full attention. “Him have big project now, draw y-” A large servo suddenly came to rest on the Pteranodon’s beak, clamping it shut before anything too embarrassing could be shared. You craned your helm up to look at Sludge, his cheek plating positively painted with the glow of his optics and lips drawn into a pout.

“Sludge, is that true? Do you really like me?” His optics bashfully locked on the ground again, answering you with a soft nod. He dared a glance at your face before averting his gaze again. “You know, I like you a lot too.” That seemed to win his attention, finally maintaining some real eye contact. He nodded again with a hum and you frowned. “You knew? Why didn’t you say anything?” That stung, knowing that he was aware of your advances all along and hadn’t done anything. Especially when he apparently liked you too.

He opened his mouth before closing it, brow furrowing. You gave him a moment to formulate his thoughts.

“You Y/N deserve better than Sludge.” He spoke slowly, thinking hard on his words. “Deserve someone smart and not clumsy or stumbly. Deserve someone not hurt you.” You frowned at that.

“Sludge, you are one of the gentlest mech’s I know. You haven’t hurt me yet and I don’t think you will,” you said, stepping closer to him. “And in any case, I think I would know better than anyone else what I deserve. I think I deserve to be happy and getting to spend time with you makes me happy. You make me happy. Do I make you happy?”

“Yes.”

“Then let’s be happy together.”

 BONUS:

“SQUAWK! Let Swoop go! No want to see smooches!”

[mocacheezy]

TF WFC: Kingdom - Ep. 3

Gist of it: This show really acknowledges the fact what Megatron did on Cybertron haunts the hell out of him (and I love that), there are many rare-pair ship moments/interactions that have rarepair potential, and the most important part: They tried to give a nod to original Dinobot and his death. The emotions were lacking.

Here comes the Allspark!

Is it the- it is the Allspark

The show intro is really gorgeous

Cheetor you lil shiet

I love how this show REALLY FOCUSES on Megatron and how the things he did for the cause haunt him. Like DAMN!

We've got a Smeagol situation huh?

Starscream is stupid <3

Dinobot I fucking love you

"The pink one's cute." Blackarachnia x Arcee when?

Rattrap, just believe in the Matrix Vibes

TRION?!

Allspark playing tricks.

DINOBOT TALKING THE TRUTH!

AIRRAZOR I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND DINOBOT!!! I ship it. Funny, considering me and friends were discussing rarepairs and I thought about drawing these two for Mermay. Few months later, WFC provides content.

Megatron listen to Soundwave

Dinobot you are stupid

WHAT?!

Dinobot holy shit you hit him!

OH SHIT!

Barney fretting over Megs will never stop being amusing

DINO-FUCKING-BOT NO!!!

The og Dinobot isn't like this one at all

Why was the lightshow neccesary Optimus?

"Remember why the Matrix chose you"

SAVING VERMIN LIKE YOU!

"You would've made a terrible Maximal" "Maybe," *dies*

... This scene hits different because he didn't defect

[fictional-love-is-my-life]

In the bay movies Optimus sent out a signal to other bots in the universe that he is on earth. I don't know how far a transformers signal can go from a planet to space, but there wasn't a whole lot of autobots that came to earth. Tha majority seemed decepticon. So can I get bee, Dino, hotrod's reaction to hearing their cyber crush admiring them and saying that since they and the few autobots on earth have been alive this long, does that mean they are among the strongest and smartest fighters on their planet to have survived out of all the others?

Warning: This turned out somewhat angsty, with mentions of deceased soldiers/mentions of death.

Bumblebee:

He feels flattered that his crush thinks so highly of him, that they think he is the strongest. But he can't help feeling sad for all his fallen comrades. He misses them.

He sometimes wonders if he could have done more to save them. Perhaps he could have helped more escape. He thinks about it a lot.

Dino:

He appreciates the comment. He worked hard and had gone through a lot of harsh situations before getting to Earth. So for them to view him so highly because he was one to survive, he is happy to hear their thoughts.

He does feel pity for all the other Autobots that lost their lives. Many were not as skilled as him, and they lost their lives unfairly. But many other soldiers were very skilled yet they still lost their lives. It was extremely unfortunate. He will thank his crush for their words, but he will also ask them to think of all the fallen. As they deserve praise for their bravery in the war.

Hot Rod:

He knows his crush means well by their comment, they are trying to compliment him. But all he can feel is pain and sorrow for his deceased brethren.

Sure, there could be elements of strength to his survival. But there was also a lot of luck and being in the right place at the right time. He thinks about all the Autobots that were unlucky and in a bad place. He wishes he could have done more for them. And they will stay in his thoughts for as long as he is alive.

[istherewifiinhell]

[Chin in my hand. tilting head back in forth] no its just like. is anyone else a sicko enough to watch that tf 86 without me telling u more about it.... its only an hour 25. took me like 3 cause. im Unwell. this is the emotion they gave kids in the 80s isnt it. what in the god damn. what did they put in this shit...

Okay well i dont actually care what other people do but a lot of what im getting out of this is based on. knowing only meagerly more than if i was there when it was happening. so. thats the angle.

okay the most important thing i could lead with its not flashing light free. unfortunate tho unsurprising

how to get into this... what im. doing here. is i think entrusting myself to the absurd. and letting myself go with it. and how much i can care (the answer is usually. very much). so. this installment:

Transformers: The Movie. 1986. what is it?

It's 80s kid's movie shit. Aggressively so. pure. saturated. 80 proof. directly into my brain stem. And I'm a fucking sicko for it.

It is... the movie that is technically based on the 84-87 show. I mean. it is that. Its the same world, its the same continuity…. i assume. I had to watch it before starting season 3. What awaits me there, I do not know.

It is also the hypothetical "he is so outside of the original scope of the material the text no longer offers guidance on whether or not He would fucking say that".

…I exaggerate but the movie is... different enough in tone and situation, and but of course, character cast, that it's more in the realm of value add to seen the show than. Necessity. The cross over characters with the most screen time are, I think, the dino bots. and i love the dino bots. but, you get their gist.

was new toy opportunities: (characters, accessories, locations for play sets), obviously.

What I knew going in was: that its better animated. darker. and that characters…. Die!

so in general what i expected to see, and did receive

new lore: the shit keeps popping outta the ground anytime they have to readdress the transformers home planet, cybertron. even in the show. just suddenly. randomly. take some [conflicting to previous examples] lore.

general kid movie tropes and goofing

… the character death thing. more on that later

I'll touch on animation. cause. ofc. for context. im sicko. im. silly guy but. people aren't lying about the show's animation quality. that sort of thing doesn't bother me so much, but more than just. looking jank. It also effects like editing and shot/scene construction it a way that can be. noticeable to jarring. so the movie is a treat cause its not just a upgrade to theatrical animation (which. when considering comparable weight classes, just IS gonna be a step up from television) but on top of that you just get overall better flow and continuity.

BUT that, does not exclude it from old kids movie WILD tone/scene swings. From fun goofy action, to the horrors, to main plot action, to grief, to funny comedic bit characters. It is, I imagine, exactly as it intends to be… and I fault it not an iota. It's very funny to me to just. experience it and let that happen. Especially considering its still delivering on cool ass scifi visuals, just big beautiful impossible machinery, and nice action scenes even when being goofy as shit.

The easiest thing to mention I did NOT expect. the soundtrack. hol lee shittttt. the synths are hitting, the guitars are shredding, old rock men are crooning. like think of the phil collin's disney movies. times. a thousand. a million. I'm listening to right now writing this. Bangers.

SO that's I think, my vaguest recommendation for the movie. Fun to look at and listen to, big robot aliens face adversity and strange situations and hopefully come out on top to the killer score. I'm a simple man. Do experience childlike wonder from time to time. And regardless I really just enjoy the amusement I get from corny shit.

Specifics

Setting: So this is not the world state of the show, of two battling forces stationed in headquarters on earth foiling each other. They do this with a time skip as denoted by the resident human character, Spike, now having a son!

This future state of affairs has "new cybertron", a city on earth. I really like that, its a good vibe for like, aliens are real, they're here and some are our friends (and also maybe. losing the war on their home planet. just a tad). And equally cool vibe, our bots have two moon bases, (their moons, not ours), hunkering down as more rebellious force, than an equal power. And this is where most of the classic show characters are stationed. Including Spike, in a transforming mech suit. That's just fun.

Lore/Plot: Were the robots in disguise not weird enough for you? Okay, how's this. A giant robotic planet eater (is a robot and eats robotic planets specifically it seems). Voiced by Orson Welles.... OKAY. So, incalculable powerful? Pretty much, but there's one thing he's weak to.

The matrix. No, not that one. This Matrix is a big, glowy. thing. That the leader of the autobots carries. It's said to. Light the way in darkness, and has something to do with... "Till are are one" or becoming one with it when you die? Unclear. Its magic, its good, its only for the pure of heart. Etc. Antithesis to big robot planet eaters, I guess. It also uh. confers… prime-ness? No never mind how the show said Optimus Prime was just a normal smaller guy and then got built back different. Magic Box.

Tone/Story: so ive dragged it on long enough. if you've heard of this movie. this is probably why. they KILL CHARACTERS! There getting shot, murdered, general, combat things. Also execution. And being planet eaten. Those sick action sequences to even sicker jams. As your beloved toys are slaughtered. Notably Optimus and Megatron have it out, for real for real. Primes grievously wounded, Megatron's fucked up after falling SEVERAL stories. Which leads to leadership change on both sides. Cause, prime fucking DIES! DEATHBED SCENE! Dad of the autobots, gone. Countless children, traumatized. And this adult in 2023, moved, also.

And Megatron? Instead of dying surround by loved ones, gets picked up by the planet eater. Is it a Faustian deal if your options are "work for me and destroy the magic box of power. Or die an agonizing death"? The deal also nets him a forced rebuild, new name, and... being voiced by Leonard Nimoy for the rest of the film? New game plus Megatron goes a bit harder than original flavour, killing Starscream (Rip baby girl your coronation outfit was nice). Though it does not totally subsume his character, just any time he tries to get out of it, and even wanting to team up with the heroes, the robot god turns on the agonizing death mode again. Cowabummer, dude.

THE SILLIES: This might sound like a crazy thing OR you might be well versed in the art of kids movie yourself and get this picture. Those are some pretty GRIM and heady details I pulled out. But, did I mention there's a weird al song in this? You couldn't find a better thesis statement than it's title: Dare to be Stupid. It's fucking dance parties with. australian? junk bots "batteries not included" style speaking in TV commercial gimmick characters. There's some little freak who speaks in rhymes. The hero of this movie is called HOT ROD. He's almost executed by being fed to robot sharks. But hes not, because the DINO BOTS come save him :D.

So i'm saying, if people have this idea that you can only come to old kids media if you were there. Cause, the nostalgia and history you have. You like remembering confronting serious emotions as a kid, characters that find the will to go on. To be brave and kind. And the enjoyment outta sick fights and crying cause it was too sad. And everything else is just the baggage. Dead weight.

Well, I dunno! I still like it! I can see the animation errors (of course there still there, do you know how many drawing make up a movie?) But I also like cell animation were you see the smudges. There's annoying characters, there's jarring needle drops. There's... baw weep gran nah weep ni ni bong. But. Movies can be good AND be stupid. You don't gotta choose between only completely sincere first order enjoyment, or ironic amusement. I wanna do the secret third thing. And, so, I'll be out here acting a fool! And I'll have a good time.

I think, in general, I really like being surprised by media. And I know how to expect bad media. I did not know how to expect this, though. This beautiful mess. This lovely thing. It has fed my heart and soul. Cause it's fun.