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Everyone please behold this baby tree:

It's so much smaller than the support posts, they had to secure it with caution tape.

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why did the weed man heart react to my text

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silly thing

just wanted to joke abt it

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Nicole Cliffe has a whole twitter thread about funny/horrifying anaesthesia stories that you should read all of, but this is definitely my favourite  

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just so you know, you have some followers who enjoy/write fanfiction. not saying their urls rn bc i don’t wanna air out dirty laundry in public but if you want them so you can block and report, just say the word and i’ll dm you a list

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Pretty Pagoda

Watercolor on Black Cotton Paper

2024, 10"x 14"

Pink Hollyhocks

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two hours two hours two hours!!

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how toph picks clothes

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i have a fun headcanon that the gaang describes colours of clothes to toph (not that she cares much to begin with lol, only if she asks) as expiriences!

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by Asterisk Kome

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as a line cook recognizes it is approaching the ends of its lifespan in a kitchen environment, it will excuse itself from the kitchen for a smoke break near the end of its shift, though it will not come back in to help close. over the next several hours it will meander slowly towards the only 24 hour convenience store in the neighborhood to buy another pack and maybe grab a redbull. Once, the restaurant is shut down for the night, the line cook will break into the walk in fridge, where it will curl up on its back with its arms and legs tugged in like a bug, and quietly pass away.

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Sire, the elf has been fucked to pieces

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love that in the wickedverse, this poor 12 year old is just stuck in the middle of the most insane dyke drama Oz has ever seen

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So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

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my wife: who was that problematic author, the one who did enderman's game? uhhhh... orville redenbacher?

me: can I post that

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couldn't sleep, so I put on an episode of Twin Peaks................... um

it actually is Thursday the 23rd

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I fucking hate conservatives, billionaires, grifters, racists, transphobes, homophobes, bible thumpers, techbros, climate change deniers and nazi cunts. cause of every fucking problem in the world and then have the audacity to cry crocodile tears when people stand up to their bullshit. PATHETIC. PATHETIC. YOU ARE NOTHING!!!!!!

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shoutout to the most unhelpful reminder ive ever put into my phone