#the diagnostics DO point to the symptoms that i'm having troubles with

[salmonandsoup]

YA BOY HAS BEEN OFFICIALLY DIAGNOSED

we got that wombo combo

AUTISM AND PTSD BAYBEEEEEEE

[fandomcentralsposts]

An actual explanation as to why I think Jonah Beck from Andi Mack is autistic (by an autistic person)

Disclaimer every autistic person is different. This has become a popular hc in the fandom, and I am explaining why, based on my own traits and common signs and symptoms I've noticed in the character.

Hyperfixations:

Lots of autistic people have hobbies or special interests that they take really seriously they like to talk about it with other people even if they don't seem as interested or if its annoying them. Jonah's special interests were ultimate frisbee and guitar he would get so defensive if anyone said ultimate wasn't a sport, and he carried his frisbees with him a lot apparently even after he had stopped playing as much and when he took up guitar, he literally started wearing shirts with guitars on them bro found a new special interest and never looked back (its especially important bc it helps him cope with anxiety).

Social queues (lack of awareness)

Ik Jonah is sometimes comic relief and portrayed as oblivious, but he fr doesn't understand things like flirting like that scene from unloading zone when those girls were flirting with him and he just "Yeah uh... its free 🧍‍♂️😁". He also sometimes doesn't understand when something is really important to someone else, especially if he's concentrated on a special interest (when andi protested her school dress code in s1, for example). Also, just amber saying at some point, "If you want Jonah to not say anything, you have to be very explicit," and the fact that he accidentally got himself and the ghc in trouble in unloading zone.

Anxiety/meltdowns/sensory aversions

ofc anyone can experience anxiety, and it's not a part of the diagnostic criteria, but lots of autistic people experience high levels of anxiety in later life. Jonah canonically has panic attacks and struggles with anxiety, which (in my opinion, anywho) can be taken for a meltdown, but like I said, everyone's different not all meltdowns are out of sadness sometimes they can be angry like when Jonah flipped that board game and said "now its over". I noticed he gets them in uncomfortable social situations that are overwhelming he also said on a few occasions that he doesn't like confrontations, which could be seen as too much sensory input, which causes meltdowns

And he has food aversions from again too much sensory input when at Cyrus' grandmothers shiva he says he couldn't recognise anything on the food table even tho there was literally a bagel in front of him and he ate the fish Cyrus told him not too eat. He also says he's embarrassed of his panic attacks. I'm embarrassed of meltdowns he's so me. Also, this whole discourse of people saying Jonah doesn't have feelings he does he just struggles expressing or processing them.

Face blindness/masking

Many autistic teens and children have face blindness or facial-agnosia, meaning they don't always recognise faces they've already seen or just identify people in different ways Jonah's little line in s1 "some people never forget a face, I never forget a foot" was enough proof for me. Also, masking is when an autistic person basically hides that they're autistic by suppressing certain behaviours around certain people, and I think Jonah does this a lot in s1 to keep up this mr. popular image when Buffy said he only had 2 facial expressions could be taken as a sign of masking. I noticed it seemed like he didn't have any other friends after s1 accept from the ghc this could be because he felt he didn't have to mask in front of them (as an autistic person masking is exhausting I don't blame him) he definitely feels least judged around Cyrus and Buffy.

Stimming/repetition

Once again, it was likely for comedic purposes, but Jonah sometimes repeats things that have already been said, which is how some autistic people like to communicate whether it be repeating their words or echoing others (echolalia) I noticed Jonah do this in s3 when Buffy's talking about why she rejected Walker and he just says "I feel bad for the guy" like twice and I've noticed subtle stims when he's both nervous and happy Jonah is very expressive with his hands when he talks plus that trampoline park date must of been one fun sensory experience.

In conclusion:

[alpacahat67]

Idia Shroud is Autistic-Coded; Here's Why

Hello! Happy Autism Awareness Month! In celebration, I will be posting a wholeeee load of autistic traits I have found in Idia. This is coming from a person who, while undiagnosed, is most likely autistic.

If you have any additions, please tell me in whatever way is most convenient (comments, reblogs, asks, dms... whatever.) This list will likely be evergrowing as more events, vignettes, and story content are added to TWST. Some of these may be a stretch but ya know.

This is organized by trait for your (and my) convenience. Begins under cut!

*Warning, I am not a medical professional. I'm just autistic and for a while got fixated on autism itself. Which is why I call myself autistic... I've been researching this shit for many years lol

We'll be starting with DSM-5 requirements in order to be diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. Then, we will move to common experiences (things that most autistic people experience, but aren't a tell-tale sign that you're autistic and aren't a requirement for a professional diagnosis.) Finally will be disorders that Idia shows symptoms of that tend to co-occur with ASD.

Numbered list will explain the traits Idia demonstrates. At the end, the diagnostic criteria specified will be stated in parentheses and quotation marks.

A) Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts...

Generally, Idia is seen to have trouble communicating with his peers if not behind a screen or while interacting with something he enjoys (such as talking about anime or playing a board game.) ("Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation...")

Idia's way of expressing emotion is difficult to pin down. He will go from speaking very quietly (and stuttering usually) in a near-monotone voice with an "emotionless" expression to talking loudly, quickly, and with a HUGE smile on his face. We don't quite get to see how he responds to nonverbal communication or how he portrays it himself (probably because it doesn't come up, or because of live2d restrictions), but we do learn that he hates eye contact I believe in his Birthday Boy vignette when he claims to hate having to laugh and make eye contact with normies (masking right there buddy go to a doctor) ("Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.")

This is where it could kinda get stretchy, partially because I for the life of me am having trouble understanding A.3. BUT. Idia is often very blunt, to the point where he's straight up rude, especially in situations where that kind of attitude is... not very helpful. See the Phantom Bride event when he chastises the boys coming to rescue him for looking disheveled after fighting for their lives, which makes them not want to rescue him despite his life being on the line (I think Ace even goes off on him for this lol.) Furthermore, the only people amongst his peers that he will indulge are Azul, Ortho and (unknowingly, and only online) Lilia. The rest he has zero interest in, whether he despises or is scared of them. They're all normies. Finally, it's shown that throughout his life he has had very little if not zero friends in real life aside from Ortho. To be fair, I don't think there were many kids his age back home lol. ("Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.")

Part one of an autism diagnosis down! Idia shows persistent deficits in each social and communication area specified through A.1-A.3. In order to be diagnosed, you also much show two out of four of restricted, repetitive behaviors specified through B.1-B.4 below.

B) Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history...

Due to live2d restrictions, we never exactly get to see Idia physically stim. (Well, I'd argue we get to see Floyd physically stim with his constant swaying back and forth, but not like they can flap their hands or anything.) This one's a stretch, but his form of verbal stimming could be the little sound effects he makes at times, mostly in book 6 actually. Specifically, his "DA DA DA DAAAAA" after explaining the plot of Star Rogue to the overblot victims in Styx as well as his "BOOM BADA BOOM BOOM BOOM! HAH!" after finishing Ortho in the flashback sequence. Other than that, the only other ideas I'd have for repetitive movements or sounds are headcanons. I don't know if I'd count this one. ("Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech")

This is another one I don't think we ever see in-game. I don't know... the things I could consider part of this criteria would better fit as sensory things~! Again I'm an Idia connoisseur but if you know anything about this please tell me I will update this one. ("Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior")

Idia is shown to have MULTIPLE very strong interests. Whether this might be a special interest or hyperfixation... it's hard to tell, but I can sure guess. The longest-running interest we see him show to have, originating from way back when Ortho was still alive, is Star Rogue. Because he seems to know nearly everything about the game and has also maintained the interest for a long time, I would consider this a special interest (along with engineering and technomancy, which he's said to have excelled in since a young age.) Idia does talk about certain specific animes and other games he enjoys, but not to the degree of Star Rogue (yes that's my basis here), so I don't know if that's a special interest or just a hyperfixation. It's the same situation with idol groups, particularly Premo (or Fates on the Edge). This isn't even it. That man is fandom trash and I love him. ("Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus")

Idia is shown on multiple occasions to have sensory issues. To the point where, similarly to his strong interests, I don't know if I know half of it. During the Phantom Bride event and his Union Birthday vignette, Idia complains about his neck feeling cold due to his hair being brushed behind his hair (PB) or up in a ponytail (UB). He also complains about his Phantom Bride suit AND his Birthday Boy suit being "stuffy", but that one could also be a stretch. In the Harveston event, Idia says that he only eats his apples canned or peeled, which I'd chop up to sensory issues once again. (Although, that one could also be under B.2) Idia constantly has his headphones around his neck to listen to music. A bit of a stretch, but they're also noise canceling, so there's a chance he uses them to avoid overstimulation. Finally, Idia states that he doesn't like fish because it's smelly and slimy. I get that Idia raw fish is texture hell. As far as I know, there's no point in which Idia under-reacts to sensory input (e.g. pain) or becomes very invested in it (like staring at a moving wheel.) ("Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment")

And there we have it. Autism diagnosis. Idia demonstrates persistent deficits in all three sections under A and at least two sections under B. BUT WAIT! We still have C-E!

C) Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).

Really, the only point in which we see Idia demonstrate autistic traits in early life is his interest in Star Rogue. This is probably just because of how the storyline is. We actually don't know very much about Idia OR Ortho when they were young. However I would argue that Idia does mask because of the multiple times where he immediately just gets upset prior to talking to someone (something he probably hides during conversation). And ofc that one time he complains about talking to normies in his Birthday Boy vignette (? it could've be a voice line.)

D) Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

Idia's symptoms in fact significantly impair his life. I think that alone is obvious enough. We see it every time that man's on screen.

E) These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder) or global developmental delay...

Symptoms that Idia experiences could very well be explained by other mental disorders such as social anxiety, but these are not intellectual disabilities. Explaining away ASD for Idia falls into a trap many autistic people do in real life with medical professionals who just can't believe that their patient is autistic for one reason or another; these people will sometimes receive a dozen different diagnoses that all could be better explained by autism spectrum disorder. That's not very cool. Therefore, this does not apply.

Specifically, Idia would likely have ASD co-morbid with social anxiety and most likely clinical depression. (I HAVE done some minor research into Idia and bipolar disorder, but that's a situation for another day and far more of a stretch than ASD ever could be.)

DSM-5 requirements cleared! Next stage, common experiences.

This is another thing I will need help for because it's not like there's scholarly articles on "things a lot of autistic people experience but it's definitely not something a doctor will ask you about." So please share. This is the list that will never stop growing.

Abnormal posture (Crewel gets onto Idia for not standing up straight, he often is portrayed sitting in chairs with his knees to his chest, and he's seen doing "dino hands" or "T-Rex arms" in battle mode on occasion.)

Target of bullying (Many autistic people, especially autistic girls, tend to be bullied more often than their allistic peers. While not always to his face, people do tend to talk bad about Idia behind his back, Ortho even has a 'Don't Talk Shit About My Brother' beam for the bullies lol.)

More tone + social stuff... (Things that the DSM-5 thing didn't quite fit. In book 6 he jokes about torturing the overblots and when everyone's like 'dude wtf' he's like 'what it was a joke dumbass.' Could be written off as just an odd sense of humor, or it could be difficulty reading the room lol.)

A love for lists and organization. (When Idia speaks autonomously in your guest room, he mentions having things exactly where you need them and how it's 'convenience'. He also seems to have a knack for practicality. It's not too much of a stretch to say it ties into a need for organization.) (Idia has every NRC student organized into multiple tier lists on the R-SSR rating system like the in-game cards based on certain factors, such as most social.)

Easily startled. (Self-explanatory. HieEh.)

Preference for connection through interests. (Another reason why he is disconnected from those around him, aside from the whole trauma thing, and calls most other people "normies." They don't "get" his interests, so he has no interest in being friends with them.)

Difficulty with processing time. (Remember when he had apparently been working on Ortho's uhhh starsender gear? For like 12 hours straight?"

Relaxes through interacting with interests (In the vignette I referenced in 7, when Ortho tells him to take a break, he decides to play Star Rogue. Ortho meant to sleep.)

Putting off needs until one can not longer ignore them. (Idia often gets so engrossed in what he's doing that he forgets to do basic self-care tasks like eating.)

Infodumping. (Shown a lot in book 6. Namely with his like 2-3 minute long rant about Star Rogue. The rest, such as him rambling on and on about Styx, seems to be used so the audience knows what the HELL is happening. He does go on rants outside of this book tho.)

Gifted kid (Yeah he was called a "boy genius.")

This is not a complete list by any means, I could go on for DAYS.

On the topic of co-occurring disorders, the two most obvious disorders Idia clearly is dealing with are social anxiety and depression. Both of which are often co-morbid with ASD.

While social anxiety and ASD have a lot of overlap, they aren't the same thing, but often autism can contribute to the development of social anxiety through masking and the general difficulties in socializing that come with autism. Allistic people tend to react negatively in response to an autistic person doing something that the allistic person deems unorthodox. This reaction can often cause a lot of internal turmoil for the autistic person due to rejection-sensitive dysphoria. Furthermore, masking requires a high level of awareness of one's environment as well as the judgment of others. Thus, social anxiety can often develop.

While I don't know how exactly autism might affect depression as it does social anxiety, I do know that depression is VERY common in autistic adults. 5 in 10 adults with ASD have depression, and living in a world built for those who are neurotypical is hard for anyone who is neurodivergent, which definitely does not help. And it sure as hell has to make it worse for Idia of all people.

Additions made by others (tysm!): @hey-haven mentions in a reblog Idia's low empathy towards other people. I recommend heading over to their blog to check out what they said because they do make an amazing point and it's probably far better than anything I could explain (lol). But to paraphrase, they cite specifically Idia making fun of his classmates who just fought for their lives to rescue him during the Phantom Bride event and his attitude towards the overblot victims and their reactions to being essentially kidnapped during book 6, in which he seems to not really "get" why they're so upset. Generally, when it surrounds emotions that aren't his own, he's pretty oblivious. They also bring up his little "whee-hee-hee" laugh! It brings up an observation I've seen of autistic people (seemingly) laughing at "random" or generally inappropriate times because we tend to express laughter in a voiced manner (like laughing out loud because you find something genuinely funny) rather than an unvoiced manner (like the little exhale you do at a funny photo on your phone). Idia laughs a lot, I don't know if it's realistic to connect it to autism or if it's better explained by him just being a weird guy (which I love about him don't get me wrong lol.) Although the study about this was with specifically autistic and non-autistic children though... it's food for thought I guess.

And with that, my essay comes to a close. Again, happy Autism Awareness Month! Share some of your favorite autistic, canon or otherwise, characters and boost autistic creators! And remember to not support Autism Speaks :)

Thank you for listening.

-Alpaca (autistic Idia Shroud enthusiast)

P.S. this post is so long that it's making my PC lag LMAOOOO

[hashtag-xolo]

I got really sick for about ten days and have been otherwise out of it somewhat. I had a few asks from people checking in so I wanted to just address things in a post.

Under a read more to not clog anyone's dashboard.

Thank you to everyone who checked in and left kind messages. I have good news in that I don't have to find a new place to live and things haven't ended in my relationship. Things have been sorted out but it was definitely rocky for a bit.

As folks know, I have a history of mental illness issues to the point of benefitting from a service dog to assist with panic attacks, sensory overload, and grounding me during dissociation. It was becoming apparent that my mental health was getting worse and that there was likely something beyond my current diagnoses. My last therapist wasn't helping and was ignoring some of my most troubling symptoms. So I changed therapists and they have come to agree after only a few sessions that I meet a diagnosis for one of the "scary" mental health disorders. It's not officially diagnosed but the therapist has basically said "you have this I just haven't done all the diagnostic work yet".

Unfortunately, my partner had a lot of trouble with this and had a big panic over this. She was absolutely not able to handle the idea of this and it caused a lot of issues. After speaking with my therapist and learning a bit more about the diagnosis, she still has feelings about this but has worked through the worst of it and has apologized for her reaction. She still has some feelings about this but we are doing much much better. She is still working to understand what this diagnosis means but shes managing. The bright side is the diagnosis explains a lot of behaviors that have utterly confused her. So that is helping her understand me better and how I react to things. It still feels a bit fake that I meet the criteria for this diagnosis hence why I'm being vague. It feels like I'm probably just making shit up. So it's been a lot for me as well.

So thank you for everyone being kind and supportive. This is a lot to manage but slowly getting there. Here is a cute photo of Tzapo being so very eepy as thanks for reading through this.

[sysbitching]

Most people in online DID/OSDD communities are severely misunderstanding the McLean Hospital video about social media and malingering DID, to the point that I'm convinced most of them haven't even watched the full video.

No, I don't think they should have posted the lecture online with those peoples' tik toks without contacting them first, or at least censoring their usernames. In the talk they acknowledge that harrassment is an issue in online DID communities so I think that was an oversight on their part.

However.

They are not fake-claiming the people in those videos. The speaker says multiple times that he can't know for sure whether or not the people in the tik toks actually have DID and that the tik toks are just being used as examples. Nowhere does he say that they are faking or anything of the sort. He is pointing out instead how sensationalized, dramaticized, and sanitized DID content on various social media platforms is leading to an upkick in people (especially young people) seeking DID diagnoses.

This is a double-edged sword. Information about DID is becoming more available and less stigmatized, wich leads in some cases to more accurate self-diagnosis for people who may not be able to access psychiatric care for one reason or another. This allows those people to find resources, information, community, etc., online which may be the only option they have available. This is a good thing.

On the flip side, you have a truly massive deluge of misinformation and mischaracterizations of dissociative disorders. And unfortunately, the folks who are presenting in the most sensationalized, innacurate ways are the ones who tend to get picked up most by the algorithm because their content generates more interaction.

Regardless of whether or not those individuals are faking (knowingly or not), he is arguing that these popular sensationalized depictions are making it harder for DID/OSDD to be taken seriously in psychiatric communities, which is troubling because dissociative disorders already have a fraught history in the psychiatric world of being seen as merely products of an overactive imagination.

I'm a bitter transsexual and I rankle a bit at the idea that people in a community need to behave a certain way in order to be taken seriously by folks with systemic power. I think the people invested in disbelieving survivors of severe trauma are going to continue regardless of how 'respectable' we seem.

I do however agree that these depictions are contributing to a wider misconception about what these disorders tend to look like irl (not performing or playing things up for social media) and that this is bringing in people who don't have DID/OSDD, but absolutely have other issues that need to be addressed. Folks who are drawn to those labels because it gives them a sense that their pain has meaning, a feeling of being in a community, of being unique and special. Or folks who don't have DID/OSDD but might have some other form of structural dissociation (there's significant symptom overlap, afterall). Remaining in DID/OSDD spaces will not help those people and will in fact, prolong the time it takes for them to get the care that they need.

Something else I find simultaneously funny and frustrating is that the speaker says that people who have malingered/facticious DID tend to be very upset and angry upon being refused a diagnosis, as their sense of belonging and having meaning for their pain was very much tied up in having that diagnostic label. I'm seeing most of the people complaining the loudest about his lecture acting like this to a T. A hit dog will holler, or what have you.

[aspd-culture]

Hey think I might have ASPD but I don't know for sure could you help me out? If not it's totally cool. I don't I feel guilt or remorse for my actions and I break rules alot, when I have the motivation to do stuff (But I do have like this extreme like Panic Attack sort of thing when I think people are going to hate me for breaking the rules and I'm going to get in trouble with them or ruin my reputation only when I think they'll find out though [even then only sometimes othertimes I just don't care so idk]) I disregard others boundaries (I used to be way worse, I think I can't remember alot of that stuff) and can get kinda rough with people physically when I'm irritated at them (This is more recent I've always been more verbally aggressive) and I think I might disregard my safety by putting myself in situations where I could get hurt but not caring. Aside from like two people I only care about people if they can give me something want and even with those two people I have to constantly remind myself of them so I don't forget they exist or disregard their boundaries. I'm almost always either kinda angry or bored (? [I have trouble recognising my emotions]) except when I'm around those two people or people I'm getting something from. If I go against my own morals I don't exactly feel guilty but more like I've lost my whole sense of self and I freeze up in a distress until I figure things out (might be an Autism thing). Anyways sorry if this ask makes no sense feel free to delete it.

No worries, this ask is actually super coherent and covers a good portion of the diagnostic criteria, which can help me point you in the right direction. However, please note I am not a medical professional, and even if I was I am not your personal professional, so I am unable to diagnose you. I can let you know what I think as someone with ASPD though!

Going by all the symptoms you pointed out here, I think you hit quite a few marks for ASPD criteria, and reading this very much reminds me of something I might have written a few years ago trying to describe myself.

One thing I want to make sure you know is that things like guilt are terms with specific definitions in the context of ASPD, but neurotypical people often refuse to define them for us since they think it's obvious, making it so we can't tell if we experience it or not. I on the other hand do my best to define it the way professionals have explained it to me.

Remorse/guilt in the context of ASPD refers to an instinct-based "bad" feeling, usually something similar to anxiety mixed with a low self-esteem spiral. This feeling typically occurs whenever you have done anything "wrong" - aka outside of social codes, moral codes, legal codes, or being generally disrespectful/insubordinate. This typically happens regardless of the chance of consequences or even getting caught at all. People without low remorse will feel this even when they know they have 100% gotten away with whatever it was, often even if they are in the right.

Fear of consequences, injuries to reputation, etc are generally not included in the definition of "remorse" professionals are using here. It is feeling bad exclusively because you did something "bad", and usually feeling an insistent desire to apologize or make ammends for (as opposed to covering up) whatever has been done.

Many pwASPD still have their own personal code of things they believe are right and wrong to do, and may feel a blow to their self esteem if they break that, but if it is a thing of "I broke my own rules" or "I might get in trouble" vs "I hurt somebody" or "I did something wrong", then it's in a gray area most professionals won't count as remorse.

It sounds to me like the "remorse" you're feeling may be more of an anxiety or trauma response to getting caught/in trouble, which is very common in pwASPD as caregivers usually try and overcorrect with fear to get us to behave. This may mimic remorse outwardly, which is why they do it, but internally as you mentioned it is not the same.

I would definitely recommend doing more research on ASPD, as it does seem you have many symptoms of it, and if at all possible talk to a mental health professional.

Plain text below the cut:

No worries, this ask is actually super coherent and covers a good portion of the diagnostic criteria, which can help me point you in the right direction. However, please note I am not a medical professional, and even if I was I am not your personal professional, so I am unable to diagnose you. I can let you know what I think as someone with ASPD though!

Going by all the symptoms you pointed out here, I think you hit quite a few marks for ASPD criteria, and reading this very much reminds me of something I might have written a few years ago trying to describe myself.

One thing I want to make sure you know is that things like guilt are terms with specific definitions in the context of ASPD, but neurotypical people often refuse to define them for us since they think it's obvious, making it so we can't tell if we experience it or not. I on the other hand do my best to define it the way professionals have explained it to me.

Remorse/guilt in the context of ASPD refers to an instinct-based "bad" feeling, usually something similar to anxiety mixed with a low self-esteem spiral. This feeling typically occurs whenever you have done anything "wrong" - aka outside of social codes, moral codes, legal codes, or being generally disrespectful/insubordinate. This typically happens regardless of the chance of consequences or even getting caught at all. People without low remorse will feel this even when they know they have 100% gotten away with whatever it was, often even if they are in the right.

Fear of consequences, injuries to reputation, etc are generally not included in the definition of "remorse" professionals are using here. It is feeling bad exclusively because you did something "bad", and usually feeling an insistent desire to apologize or make ammends for (as opposed to covering up) whatever has been done.

Many pwASPD still have their own personal code of things they believe are right and wrong to do, and may feel a blow to their self esteem if they break that, but if it is a thing of "I broke my own rules" or "I might get in trouble" vs "I hurt somebody" or "I did something wrong", then it's in a gray area most professionals won't count as remorse.

It sounds to me like the "remorse" you're feeling may be more of an anxiety or trauma response to getting caught/in trouble, which is very common in pwASPD as caregivers usually try and overcorrect with fear to get us to behave. This may mimic remorse outwardly, which is why they do it, but internally as you mentioned it is not the same.

I would definitely recommend doing more research on ASPD, as it does seem you have many symptoms of it, and if at all possible talk to a mental health professional.

[subsystems]

Hi, advice ask... For what's relevant, I have ocd + newly discovered did but trying to not have multiplicity be a big matter everyday. reframing my state as purely identity alteration with dissociation+coping mechanisms, "not a system just multiple", just one person multiple identities, etc... but for some reason ever single night we struggle to sleep because obsessing/ruminating over "what am i really/who am i really?", or trying to force fusion or further separation, or just. a lot more. and. idk if you have any sources for ocd+osddid or how to get over the obsessing over diagnosis/discovery stage. at this point i don't care what i am, system or singlet, I just want help. note i do take medication but some problems slip through the cracks + am trying to get a therapist so this ask is more in search of temporary help... thank you

Hey, thanks for reaching out anon. 💚 I'm so sorry that you've been struggling with these things. It sounds really tough. It's great that you're in the process of finding a therapist! You deserve to have someone in your life to support you through this time.

You might find the book Coping with Trauma-related Dissociation helpful. It's a self-help book for people like us who experience trauma-related dissociation. You'll find a free download of the book (and many others) in this google drive! Here's a quote from the first chapter:

"In this manual we have tried to offer practical help for you to cope with symptoms of dissociation that trouble you, rather than to focus on diagnosis. Of course, diagnosis is important, because it provides a map for you and your therapist to follow so that you get proper help. But because the diagnostic criteria change from time to time, and there are even legitimate disagreements about these criteria, it is probably most helpful for you to focus on what will aid you in resolving the dissociation that hampers your life, rather than to worry too much about your diagnosis."

You don't have to focus on a diagnostic label or even have a diagnosis in order to use resources that help the issues you're facing. It's always okay to use mental health resources that help you. This link has a bunch of resources, books, & websites that you might find useful!

You're more than welcome to browse my resources & coping tags too!

If you do anything, though, please read this article by Carolyn Spring. It helped me feel less worried about my label... Maybe it'll help you?

"I think it’s something that has been instilled into our consciousness, with an emphasis from the medical model, that everything we suffer should have a name and be called a syndrome or a disorder. It’s as if we can only cope with our suffering if we alienate it and call it names."

Good luck with everything! Hang in there!

[automative-maintenance-arms]

(Ron would approach the AMA, he looked so very shaken up)

Uh..Howdy, been a hot minute.. since we last talked

I'm actually here for something for once..If it ain't much trouble

..could you do a scan on me? Please?

I feel something's wrong with my system, and I just want to pin point it down so we could- maybe remove it?

Again- If it's not much trouble-

-@the-therapist-construct

[Ah.. No issue there, Ron, Im happy to help. Please hold while I run a manual diagnostic.]

The arm's head rotated a 360 degree angle around it's joint as it engaged the protocol. The AMA's head tilted from the top of Ron's core to the bottom of his form- Slowly as to get every nook and cranny to check for physical damage. Once it had noted that there were no variances detected, it did a software scan; A very soft fuzzy feeling going through his head.

[Hmm.... I have detected symptoms of emotional distress in your file system. Have you experienced any negative stimuli as of recently?]

[likeabxrdinflight]

I want to, somewhat out of nowhere, discuss why I think some of the mental health/neurodivergence awareness posts that have taken off, especially on tiktok and instagram, can be...a bit troubling to me. And it's not because it isn't important to talk about mental health or to discuss ways in which developmental disorders impact people- it's not that. and it's definitely not wrong to encourage people who might be struggling to seek out care, community, and if possible/helpful, professional diagnosis.

but what is concerning is that a lot of these posts paint with...very broad brushes.

for example, I am not autistic. I have never been autistic, I am never going to be autistic. and I know this because, frankly, I have access to professional autism screening tools, I have diagnosed autism before, I know how this process works. and in the process of learning how to use these screening tools, I did what basically every psych in training does- I practiced them on my classmates, and they practiced on me. for self-report forms, I filled them out myself to learn how to score them. I know damn well that I do not reach diagnostic criteria for autism, I never have, I never will.

but if I was getting all my information from doctor tiktok? I might think it was more of a possibility. because you go on tiktok and you click on videos like "signs you have undiagnosed autism" and it gives you things like "anxiety at school" "don't like itchy tags" "exhaustion after social interactions", etc. very generic experiences that yes, could be affected by/a sign of autism, but are also things a lot of people without autism also experience.

as well, the thing that people pay lip service to but no one seems to actually understand, is that autism is a spectrum. and if we consider something a spectrum, we have to assume there is a middle ground between "definitely not autistic" and "very obviously autistic". most humans fall in this middle ground. which means most people are going to, at some times, display some autistic traits. I guarantee you if I gave every person on the face of the planet a standardized autism screener, not one person would score a perfect zero. that just does not happen.

I'm seeing the same thing happening now with trauma. everything under the sun is a trauma response now, apparently, with absolutely no lip service being paid to the fact that a lot of things that can be symptoms of and/or related to trauma, are not, by themselves, actual definite indicators of trauma. again, for some reason social anxiety comes up a lot. as if social anxiety disorder isn't a whole diagnosis by itself that is very definitely not always linked to a specific trauma!!!

and on that note it's also very troubling how attachment theory is taking off at an alarming pace, as if it is the end all be all of understanding trauma. holy hell people, I like attachment theory, I use it with patients all the time when it's relevant, but I know damn well it is an imperfect theory developed in the mid-20th century using now outdated methods of considering family life. attachment theory does not consider attachment to fathers/father figures, was deeply heteronormative, both idealizes and demonizes mothers simultaneously, and absolutely fails to consider how attachment systems might get disrupted later in life by peers and other significant figures. it's also a categorical theory which has inherent problems by itself. we are not always a perfect embodiment of one of the four attachment types, and dimensional measures of attachment show this pretty clearly. it's not a perfect theory, and you cannot possibly try to explain every single mental health system under the sun in relation to it. not everything is attachment trauma, s t o p.

anyways, these are just a few examples. but the point is, stop trying to play psychologist on tiktok. there is a reason it takes 5-7 years on average to get a damn PhD. I understand there's benefits to making mental health information accessible, and in general I'm in favor of that, but please. consider some information shouldn't be consumed in short form video content or in three slides on instagram. it is perfectly well and good to talk about your own experiences with a given diagnosis or condition, but the problem starts when you think that makes you an expert on diagnosing everyone else, when you think your experiences can generalize to others, and when you think that gives you permission to "educate" people on theories and ideas that you've not actually studied in any real depth. and it's especially troubling when it's obvious that this stuff is trendy right now, and you're a content creator who wants clicks and views.

[notabled-noodle]

I asked my psychologist if it is possible that I might have autism around a year ago and she basically told me that I am "a little autistic"? And that I am only on the autism spectrum when I have a bad day? But the more I research the more I hear that that is impossible and that you can't just be a little autistic. And it really confuses me.

I do have ADHD but I feel like some of my symptoms don't fit with that diagnose but that might also be because of the fact that I can't seem to figure out what counts as a ADHD symptom and what dosen't. And the symptoms I have that I think might point to autism aren't that strong.

For example: is trouble understanding and partizipating in social interactions an autism symptom or could that just be my adhd? (trouble knowing when to speak, how to interpret tone and facial expressions, making and holding eye contact, what to talk about)

Or sensory issues. I only get sensory issues with two or three foods, and sometimes with certain materials (but not always?) and with my hair

And I don't really mind changing my plans as long as I am the one actually changing them but I get really upset when I can't do something i planned on doing because of someone/something else.

It's all very confusing and I'm sorry that this ask is such a mess but I really don't understand what's going on.

yeah, first things first — you cannot be a little bit autistic, and you can’t just be autistic on your bad days. your traits can become harder to manage or more obvious when you’re stressed, anxious, tired, etc… but the autism is either always there or it never is.

this is going to be a long post, so I’m going to break it up into headings with the hope that makes it easier to read

trouble understanding social things

TLDR; when it comes to ADHD, it’s often about not being able to obey social rules. when it comes to autism, it’s often about not understanding the rules to begin with.

not knowing when it’s your turn to speak could be ADHD. people with ADHD often struggle with turn-taking in conversations, due to impulsivity, impatience, and a difficulty paying attention to surroundings. this can lead to them interrupting others, forgetting to respond when someone talks to them, or straight up walking away in the middle of a conversation.

the difference with autism is that there is a difficulty with understanding social rules. I don’t know when it’s my turn to speak because I have trouble detecting and interpreting shifts in tone. this means I don’t know when someone is about to finish talking.

if you can’t pick up on social cues because your brain cannot figure out what the cues are trying to tell you, that’s more likely to be autism.

sensory issues

TLDR; sensory issues are common in both autism and ADHD, but you’re not wrong to consider this as an autistic trait.

sensory issues can be present in both autism and ADHD. sensory processing issues are part of the diagnostic criteria for autism — most autistic people are either hyper or hypo sensitive to a range of sensory stimulus.

these issues are not in the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, but Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) is incredibly common in people with ADHD. most people I’ve met with ADHD either also have SPD or also have autism.

this means that ADHD + sensory issues does not necessarily mean autism (but it is something you might want to take into account when thinking about an autism diagnosis)

changing plans

TLDR; if you have an extreme reaction to change due to feeling overwhelmed, that’s definitely something to put on the autism list

very few people like to feel out of control. it’s common for all people of all neurotypes to want to know ahead of time what’s happening. this is just more extreme when you have something like autism.

it’s possible for someone who just has ADHD to enjoy spontaneity whilst also not wanting other people to be in charge of the plans. some people with ADHD end up becoming really strict with a day’s plans as a coping mechanism, because they know they’ll get derailed if they don’t plan ahead. so the reason someone might hate change is slightly different than in autism.

with autism, a change in plans is incredibly overwhelming. our brains need structure, because structures and plans and rules make the world a lot less confusing than it would be otherwise. knowing what is going to happen before it happens helps us to know how to emotionally prepare for that thing (even if it seems like a really minor event).

conclusion

it might be a good idea for you to investigate autism further. the key thing to remember is that the differences are found in the “why”. consider why you feel a certain way, and what is fuelling certain behaviours.

I wish you all the best on your journey to figuring everything out!

[gardenstateofmind]

i literally have ibs because i have severe depression. that's it. i had many GI tests done and they all showed a very healthy gastrointestinal system. and yet i still had very real physical symptoms-extreme muscle cramps that cause debilitating pain, muscle contractions that cause uncontrollable dry heaving, the very audible sounds my churning guts were making, and of course the frequency/consistency/etc of bowel movements

so if my GI system itself seems to function fine, what's causing this? well we can't know for sure of course but based on the limited understanding we have of the brain-gut axis, it's probably because my brain has a lot of trouble with regulating hormones and neurotransmitters, which are what help guide all of our organ systems

serotonin especially is involved with both the digestive system and emotional regulation. my ibs has been at its worst when i was going on and off of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. it makes sense that at the time when the levels of serotonin in my body were most chaotic, the body functions that are affected by serotonin were the most dysfunctional.

a lot of this is admittedly conjecture and i am fully prepared to change my assessment of my health as i learn more (and although i think it's unlikely, it is still possible that it could turn out that i'm wildly wrong and it's actually something totally different) but i think it's fair for me to say that i have a chronic physical illness that is directly caused by the same things that cause my chronic mental illness, and i feel most comfortable grouping all of these things together and calling it depression.

that doesn't mean these symptoms can't be separated out into distinct disorders and it doesn't mean that people who experience these symptoms must have the same diagnosis as i do. the whole point here is there are rarely hard and fast rules in healthcare because human bodies are incredibly complex and interconnected and our understanding of them is changing and growing every day. the main purpose of diagnostic labels is to help understand and treat our conditions. we choose how we define these terms.

[abyssalechoes]

author's note: while i still scream on this topic, this work was originally written in 2018. i am pleased to report that some academic work has begun to refer to autism as autism spectrum condition, instead of disorder. And some had really taken to involving the autistic community in their work.

Aspergers is Just Another Functioning Label

So I'm going to talk about something sticky. And I'm going to talk about it bluntly. Maybe I like to stir up trouble. I don’t know. I'm going to try to leave the meatier stuff for experts and point you in the right direction, while I try to focus on a few things that make me uncomfortable with continued use of aspergers instead of autism.

I'm going to talk about why we, the autistic community, should stop identifying as 'aspies' and as having 'aspergers', if you haven't already.

For clarification, we are talking about both the man who discovered aspergers, Hans Asperger, and the Asperger’s Syndrome itself. Asperger the man will always be capitalized, and aspergers the syndrome will always include the 's' without an apostrophe (though it will sometimes be capitalized). I tried to make it as clear as possible which one I'm talking about throughout, but please bear with me as it is a little tricky to distinguish.

A (very) brief history of Asperger, aspergers, and autism

Hans Asperger was an Austrian psychiatrist, from whose research (done mostly during WWII) Lorna Wing coined the term 'Asperger's Syndrome' (aspergers hereafter) and first associated Asperger's work with autism, as it began moving towards the spectrum we know today. Asperger's profile came at about the same time as Leo Kanner was categorizing and labeling some autistic symptoms in the US (Asperger used the term 'autistic psychopathy', Kanner used 'infantile autism') (1) - though Kanner actually seemed to intentionally ignore Asperger's work. Aspergers was added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) in 1993 and removed in 2013 with the fifth edition, DSM-V (DSM-5). Aspergers, along with several other autistic disorders (such as Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified), were combined to create the Autism Spectrum Disorder Criteria.

These diagnoses were rolled up for a number of reasons: to increase access to disability resources, to more accurately describe autism/autistic disorders, reduce confusion among doctors about diagnoses, and to create more uniform diagnostic criteria - all aimed at improving the quality of diagnoses and increasing the chances people are getting the help and support they need.

Back to the man Asperger

A few years ago (as early as 2005 actually), documentation and evidence regarding Hans Asperger and his Nazi association surfaced (1,3). I hate to redirect you, but others with better resources have spent much more time studying Asperger's past and actions than I have. Plus, I think it's always worth reading as close to the first accounts as possible. The first article, in Molecular Autism, is available in full online and I found it to be an accessible read: Hans Asperger, National Socialism, and “race hygiene” in Nazi-era Vienna by Herwig Czech. Czech details findings and omissions fro'm previous work on Asperger's past, as well as case files written by Asperger and his personnel file during WWII.

In another article, on Nature's site, Simon Baron-Cohen already put together a lot of thoughts about a lot of the same sources I've been reading regarding Asperger, so why do it twice? Check out his article here: The truth about Hans Asperger's Nazi collusion. I know we’re not all fans of Borat’s cousin (I’ve even sided with a recent research article kind of tearing some of his views about autism apart), but his article mirrored my thoughts pretty well.

A highlight about Asperger's research and functioning labels

And this is where I get harsh, I know. Know that I know this and that I hold no ill will towards anyone who wants to identify with aspergers, really. But the more I think about all this, the less comfortable I feel personally with the term. I want to be clear, it is in no way my goal to attack anyone.

I've seen some arguments to keep using aspergers, but in autistic-fashion brutal honesty, I see these arguments as immature at best and elitist at worst.

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A post shared by Autie-biographical Comics (@autiebiographical)

Allow me to elaborate. When I first read about Asperger's studies post-autism-diagnosis, my research-trained and slightly obsessed mind could not let go of one thing: Asperger's sample was super biased. He picked only very intelligent young boys with minimal impairments to study and help. So his criteria were incredibly limited in his assessment of 'autistic psychopathy' (to later become aspergers). Many girls and those deemed to have 'debilitating impairments' were literally sent to their deaths (often recorded as pneumonia, though their deaths were intentional), and Asperger was personally involved in more than one sentence (1,2). You can find more detailed information on Asperger's involvement in the articles above, and in the book In a Different Key by John Donvan and Caren Zucker. And probably a cursory search on the Internet.

Back to my point, Asperger's assessment and criteria for autism are biased based on his sample. He didn't seek to study girls or others who fell outside of this 'mild' autism zone (a term, I know the community hates, but bear with me a moment). At least Kanner's kids were a little more across the board in ability and challenges, and gender. I feel that this really limits what aspergers as a category contributes to our understanding of autism. We are not just the 'high functioning' males - we're the entire autistic and gender spectrum. That's not even touching on the racial implications of Asperger's work.

There's also this great movement against using these functioning labels rising up. Functioning labels as in 'high-functioning' versus 'low-functioning' autism or 'mild' versus 'severe' autism. The movement promotes the use of a color wheel for ability and challenges (4,5), as well as the idea that one's ability to manage their abilities and challenges fluctuates from day to day, often depending on energy level. Instead of functioning labels, support labels are promoted (high/low support needs). This movement stands against the invalidation of one’s humanity based on a ‘low-functioning’ label, and the invalidation of one’s challenges based on a ‘high-functioning’ label.

But aspergers is seen as 'less bad', 'mild' or 'high-functioning' autism. In fact, this is how it was designed - Asperger's sample was picked for their mild traits and high intelligence, not as a representative example of autistic traits in children. They were picked for their ability to mask. And it makes sense that Asperger's goal was to make the boys fit into society as seamlessly as possible because otherwise they wouldn't have been deemed worth keeping alive. As many other disabled children were deemed.

I swear all of this leads here: if we're against functioning labels, we must also be against aspergers. It is essentially equivalent to saying 'high-functioning autism'. 'Mild autism' is what aspergers was designed to be when Asperger studied it. It's how we still describe it, often using ‘aspergers’ interchangeably with 'high-functioning autism'. Aspergers was truly like a functioning label from the very beginning; the OG functioning label, if you will, pitted against 'classic autism'. Just like 'high-functioning' versus 'low-functioning', 'mild' versus 'severe'.

I feel that if we really want to commit to no functioning labels, if we really want to stand in solidarity across the spectrum and be taken seriously as a community towards this end, we can't keep using aspergers to describe our autism. It is a functioning label.

A small point in aspergers defense that I can't ignore: aspergers describes a very specific niche of autism. I can't deny solace found in accuracy, and I get it if aspergers is part of your identity. But I'd like to point out that our identities are fluid and will change throughout our lives, just as the terms we use to describe ourselves. I know generally autistic people are not big fans of change, but that doesn’t stop it from happening anyway. I've actually even been wondering if the 'Disorder' in ASD will get replaced with a synonym of Syndrome, Traits or Condition - something else within my lifetime. I'm even hoping for this - I dislike being labeled as 'disordered'. Though, hopefully not Syndrome, I'd rather not have to officially admit I'm an ASS (though this is the smallest of many reasons we shouldn't go with Syndrome).

At the end of the day, you choose how you identify. But please, please don't take that responsibility lightly.

References

1. In a Different Key by Jon Donvan and Caren Zucker - check your library too!

2. Simon Baron-Cohen's Nature Article: https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-018-05112-1

3. An article in Molecular Autism that discusses the evidence behind Asperger's Nazi ties: https://molecularautism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13229-018-0208-6

4. A comic article explaining the color wheel spectrum explanation: https://the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

5. A second option for color wheel spectrum explanation: https://graphicexplanations.info/2013/09/13/understanding-the-spectrum-in-autistic-spectrum/

6. An article from Spectrum News regarding Asperger's Nazi ties: https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/new-evidence-ties-hans-asperger-nazi-eugenics-program/

7. DSM Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-5

8. ASD Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism_spectrum

[words-writ-in-starlight]

hi, it's the adhd anon again. according to the dsm-v, i think i have it, which is weird bc i've never seen myself as having more trouble than others. (my grades are better than almost anyone else in my grade.) (although that might just be bc i'm interested in what's being taught - when something's not interesting or too hard, i have a pretty hard time doing it.) anyway, if it's not too much trouble, what does feel like to stim/hyperfixtate for you? (i'm so sorry to bother you in advance)

Hey, dude, welcome back!  So, okay, first things first: the stereotype of someone with ADHD automatically doing terribly in school is based heavily on the original diagnostic criteria, which categorized ADHD strictly in terms of “young hyperactive white boy who has violent outbursts and/or disciplinary problems and Just Doesn’t Do Well in academics.”  And there are people who manifest ADHD like that, it’s a stereotype with roots in reality--a lot of people with ADHD either consistently struggle with academics or eventually reach a point where their previous focusing techniques fail them.

However.

I left high school for college two years early, and if I hadn’t, I would probably been valedictorian of the graduating class, because I had a GPA well above 4.0 due to my general habit of doing extra credit whenever it was offered.  In college, I had a reputation for turning in beautifully complete lab reports and essays five pages over the minimum requirement.  I got high honors on my thesis, graduated magna cum laude, and finished a pre-medical major in half the recommended time period.  When I was a kid, the phrase “savant syndrome” got thrown around a lot, to give you some context.

On the other hand, I manifest a lot of those stereotypical ADHD symptoms: I’m loud, I interrupt people a lot, I have erratic and overwhelming mood swings that I struggle to control, I fidget incessantly and can’t stand silence, I have a tendency to get destructive when I’m angry, I have managed to seriously injure myself because I couldn’t resist a stupid impulse more than once, and if we’re all being honest, I would never have graduated high school at all, because I was on the brink of expulsion for getting into fights during class periods.  

It’s easy to feel like “I never really struggled academically” is somehow a counterargument to any and all symptoms of ADHD that you might manifest, but it’s really not.  (Heck, sometimes ADHD is even helpful--I finished my thesis a full week before anyone else and had time to fix my citations, mostly because my ADHD responds well to pressure and that crunch time hyperfocus Had My Back.)  It might take time for you to come to terms with this idea, and that’s okay!  But try to at least consider it.

All that being said, I am actually gonna answer your question, I just got distracted because the amount of time I spent making the statement “I’m faking having ADHD because I did well in school” is mindblowing and I have a Thing about it.  Forgive my ramble.

Stimming: I’m going to answer this first because the answer is going to be the most useless.  The ways I stim tend to be vocal/auditory stuff (I talk a lot when I’m alone, I sing and play music when I’m doing menial tasks, if I’m really anxious I’ll hum a single note until I calm down) or tactile stuff (sometimes destructive things like scratching my arms, sometimes neutral stuff like tapping my fingers in specific patterns or rubbing my palms over my jeans or the leather of a jacket or something).  It’s mostly things that ‘pass’ for neurotypical with very few exceptions, because I trained myself out of a lot of my ‘non-passing’ stims (rocking back and forth, knocking into walls, hand-flapping, that sort of thing) really young.  As for what it feels like to stim, it’s just...good.  It’s sort of like the brain equivalent of running your hand the right way along velvet, and discovering that you’ve been rubbing it backwards all along.  Or like the equivalent of stepping into a cool shower on a really hot day--it’s not that it’s miserable outside the shower, it’s just that the shower is extremely good.  I have a playlist of music that, for whatever reason, hits the right combination of voice and rhythm and notes and words to make my brain suddenly get calm, and it’s not necessarily my favorite music or a cohesive collection of tunes or anything (featuring Six Shooter by Coyote Kisses and also Human by Rag’n’Bone Man, which have nothing in common), but it’s Good.

Hyperfocus: You didn’t actually mention this, but I think it’s worth mentioning because it’s one of the hallmarks of ADHD.  It bears more than a passing resemblance to the concept of “flow”, but turned up to 11.  Hyperfocus is the state of being so overwhelmingly tuned in to the thing you’re currently doing that everything else falls away--which is fine, unless you’re one of us folks who can hyperfocus ourselves right through meal times.  It’s inexorable, it’s all-consuming, and it can feel pretty fucking great, which is why it’s important to be careful and find a way to hydrate yourself.  The primary difference between hyperfocus and flow is that hyperfocus is generally involuntary and does not necessarily tune you into something you planned or wanted to pay attention to.  If you ever see me publish a fic that includes a note about “I didn’t mean to write this but it’s 2 AM so here”, that’s code for “please validate me, I’ve been hyperfocused on this for two or three hours and I failed to do a lot of important things as a result.”  The other thing about hyperfocus is that afterwards, the drop coming off it is a real bitch.  It leaves me feeling hollowed out, exhausted, and kind of pettily disinterested in anything that would usually hold my attention.  Being hyperfocused is like being a machine designed to do one thing and one thing only and doing that thing feels incredible; coming off hyperfocus is like being an overtired toddler.

Hyperfixation: Hyperfixations are the ADHD equivalent of a special interest, aka: that thing you’ve been struggling not to pester every single person you know about, every single second of every single day of the past two and a half weeks.  Were you around, dear anon, when this blog was Only Animorphs, All The Time, and if you didn’t give a shit about morphin’ teens you just had to sit down, shut up, and learn some stuff, or else unfollow me?  That’s what hyperfixating looks like.  Sometimes it’s useful stuff--do you know how unbelievably useful having a hyperfixation on triage techniques is to me?  I crushed my triage training, I owned that shit, I wrote a whole chapter of my thesis on it.  Other times, it’s...well, Animorphs.  Or the American Revolution.  Or X-Men.  Or dinosaurs.  Some random shit like that.  Learning about hyperfixations, talking about them, is generally pure unadulterated joy.  On the other hand--oh, God, listen, I know how annoying I am, but I cannot stop myself.  I know I haven’t talked about anything but Animorphs in three weeks, I know I’ve made forty-five TAZ posts today, whatever you’re about to complain about, I already know, okay, I am aware, and there is nothing more painful than to have a fucking out-of-body experience watching yourself rattle on about a hyperfixation while the other person obviously gets bored in front of you.  And then you try to keep your mouth shut and it physically hurts not to talk about the thing.  It’s hard to describe what it ‘feels’ like except that ADHD brains are magpies at their core and hyperfixations are the shiny, shiny objects your brain wants to take home.

Anyway, I’m not sure how useful ANY of this has been, but like.  After a certain point, you kind of have to trust yourself enough to decide, once and for all, whether you really, truly believe you’re faking a neurological disorder for the attention.  If the answer is no, then great!  You have sussed out your symptoms and can start managing them accordingly, whether that’s some helpful apps on your phone or medication or something in between.  If the answer is yes, then you probably need some therapy, and your therapist will be able to help you get to a point where you feel able to trust yourself.

Go with the neurodivergent gods, my dude.

[kat2107]

Bullshit post to get attention with very little actual informative value.

Correct premise, bullshit execution.

Short addendum:

Yes, many diagnostic criteria are a) for children and thus b) based on outside observation. But a stranger on the internet saying "I don't experience that" doesn't invalidate a symptom or presentation.

*I*, for example, absolutely experience excessive talking, constantly interrupting people and trouble with volume control. I also absolutely DO need outsiders to tell me because I don't notice it, except for the wonderful occasions when I am physically unable to stop talking even though I know I should have minutes ago but my brain needs to finish. The. Point. I'M MAKING.

So.

"I don't experience this symptom, thus the diagnostic criteria are bullshit" is complete bullshit.

They need expansion and adjustment. They need an upgrade to adults' and non-cis male diagnostics.

But this, up there? Is one opinion. And an attempt to get attention. Also hella invalidating in parts. Congratulations, that person managed exactly what they set out out criticize.

[senkrechter]

you dont have to answer this but i think i may have bpd, npd, and szpd. but im really unsure, is it even possible to have the 3 together??

like, i want to spend time with people, i have friends, i like the IDEA of spending time with people, but as soon as i call someone im just... bored? if i feel anything it goes away in a flash, and the feeling is usually pretty strong, especially when it's closer to the time where my meds start wearing off. i hate spending time with people irl because it adds an extra layer of exhaustion since i have to express my emotion on my face more. i wanna be well-known because then i could get loads of attention and admiration for my art but i absolutely don't want it either because i value my privacy wayyy too much. and like, i'm (almost) always on call with my partner and i really miss them when they're away and i constantly fear abandonment from them but they're the only person who really makes me feel that to an extreme? and when i'm alone i want to be with other people but when i'm with other people all i want is to be alone. idk that's not everything but this is getting long enough ahah. my mind is simply always at odds with itself and it frustrates me not to know why it's happening. i'm not diagnosed with any of these but i am diagnosed with adhd? but i've done as much research as i can on bpd, npd, and szpd.

sorry for troubling you, you don't have to answer this if you don't want. have a good day!

I don’t mind answering asks at all, you are not troubling me in the slightest, sorry it took me about three days to reply to this, I haven’t had the energy to log in the tumblr in a while. I will be honest with you and outright say that I don’t know enough about BPD or NPD enough to tell you whether you can have both at the same time, or whether you have them at all. And of course I can’t accurate say whether you have SZPD either, since the only thing I know about you is just a paragraph. I don’t know all of the things you feel, and I am not a professional, so just take these as my personal opinion and thoughts based on just the things you’ve told me here. Not gospel or fact! From my point of view, the things you describe aren’t very related to SZPD. Just as any personality disorder is, SZPD is severe, with a variety of symptoms, and I’d say the feeling of wanting to be around people, but then feeling tired when you are, wanting to be popular but not wanting to sacrifice your privacy etc. are very common introverted traits, rather than a relation to a specific personality disorder. Not to say these traits don’t make things hard for you at times, but you must be careful before assigning an entire personality disorder to them, since there’s so much more to SZPD than just these things. I am not the best at talking about my experiences, and feelings, so I will try to be more pragmatic and talk about the professional diagnostic criteria for SZPD more than that. Both the DSM-5 and ICD-10 share these criteria: 1. Taking little if any pleasure from activities. 2. Always, or almost always choosing and prefering solitary activities. 3. Indifference to criticisms or praise. 4. Little if any interest in sexual activity. 5. Emotional coldness, and detachment. The slight differences in the criteria are, ICD-10 has a couple extra, being, 1. Limited capacity in expressing emotions and feelings towards people, even anger. 2. Excessive fantasizing, and introspection. 3. This one similar to one of the DSM-5 criteria, except it includes not desiring, as well as not having close and personal relationships, or having just only one. (These are mostly out of memory, so if I forgot something or left it out, I’ll edit it if it comes to my head, or otherwise if someone sees this they can reblog with any correction.) Using only my common sense, to me it would not make a lot of sense for someone to have two cluster B PDs, known primarily (generalizing of course for ease of wording) for emotional volatility, common sensitivity to rejection and criticism, and among other things, as well as a cluster A PD that is commonly emotionally stagnant and apathetic most of the time. But then again, I am not a professional. Only real advice I can give you is to not overthink these things! Focus on the things you are feeling, the things you are thinking, try to recognize patterns in your behavior and do your best at figuring out how to handle the things that cause you the most grief. I know it may feel relieving to be able to assign a term or a label or a diagnosis to the things you feel and struggle with, but in this case, I personally don’t think SZPD is the right one.

[mental-health-advice]

So I read the post on maladaptive daydreaming, and I was wondering if you could explain more about it? It sounds very similar to something I started to do for fun as a child but then turned into something I can use as a coping mechanism as I grew into my teens and still do as an adult. don't always use it as a coping mechanism, sometimes when I'm bored or before I go to bed or while I'm showering I'll "daydream" and it's gotten to the point where I can't go a day without doing it?

(Maladaptive dreaming con't) Like I'll even do it by accident now, even when I don't mean to or even want to. I've even tried to stop myself from doing it but I couldn't last an hour before doing it by accident. It also normally involves tv show characters or books, and physical or emotional harm that my character gets through. As if it was a way to show myself I was stronger than I thought, and I would survive no matter what (even if the "character" being hurt isn't actually me, per se).

Maladaptive daydreaming con't, last one) Does this sound like it could be maladaptive daydreaming? Or similar, if not exactly it? I'm curious because I always thought it was just me being weird, and it's worried me in the past how often I do it, so the thought that not only is it something other people go through but treatable makes me very hopeful. Cautious, and wary, but hopeful. (P.S. Sorry if I rambled. I just wanted to explain everything in order to give the best explanation I could)

Hi there,

Maladaptive daydreaming has a long list of symptoms, which include:

The daydreaming is excessive and can be compared to an addiction

This excessive daydreaming started in childhood (in most cases)

Media such as books, movies, videogames, etc. can trigger the daydreaming

You could compare the daydreaming to a movie or novel, the daydreams are very detailed and elaborate

It’s common to fall into repetitive moments while daydreaming, such as pacing, rocking, spinning, shaking something in their hand, etc

Sometimes the sufferer may make facial expressions, talk, laugh, cry or gesture while daydreaming. They do know the difference between their daydreams and reality, they just prefer the daydreams. However because they know their daydreams aren’t real, they are different from people suffering from psychosis or schizophrenia

Sufferers will spend hours in bed daydreaming and might have trouble falling asleep or getting out of bed because of their daydreaming. The daydreaming can be to such an extent that it causes the sufferers to neglect their basic needs (meals, showering, etc.)

(source)

A lot of people who suffer from maladaptive daydreaming often don’t realize that they are daydreaming. While most people daydream to a certain extent, people with maladaptive daydreaming have a difficult time functioning as a result of their daydreaming. They also usually prefer their daydreams over reality. 

Maladaptive daydreaming currently is not recognized as an official diagnosis, which just means that it isn’t yet listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). However, it’s still completely valid and people who suffer from at are just as deserving of help as people who suffer from a disorder that is in the DSM! Anyone who feels that they may be suffering from maladaptive daydreaming should still seek professional help, as it can still be treated using talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and/or medication. We have a getting help page if you’d like some information on how to reach out.

I can’t say whether you have maladaptive daydreaming, but it’s definitely worth talking to a professional about if you identify with any of the symptoms. I think the biggest difference between regular daydreaming and maladaptive daydreaming is whether you realize you’re daydreaming or not and whether the daydreaming you do have is interfering with your ability to function on a day-to-day basis. Even if you don’t necessarily have all of the symptoms but you still feel like your daydreaming is disruptive, it’s still worth bringing up with a professional so they can figure out what’s going on and what can be done about it. So, either way, what you’re dealing with is 100% valid!

-Samantha