#the concussion really changed me like ive not been the same since it happened

[aaverageguy]

when I was a kid i was totally obsessed with Rome to the point where it was the only thing I could talk or think about, even in my counselling sessions. This unfortunately led to my counsellor giving me the unfortunate nickname of Caesar because she had to take care of me after I woke up from my concussion IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING BECAUSE SHE ASKED ME HOW I WAS FEELING AFTER LEAVING THE HOSPITAL AND I JUST TOLD HER THE SAME THING I TOLD TO THE DOCTOR LIKE I DEADSASS SAT THERE AND TOLD THEM BOTH "yeh I feel like Julius Caesar"

[heecyon]

Enhypen Little Angels Series: When they find out their s/o is pregnant

warnings: cursing, mentions of miscarriage and hospitals, collapsing, vomiting and couvade syndrome (for Sunghoon and Sunoo)

this happens before the og enha little angels

taglist: @skyaura-koo @serendipityclick @en-sun @envirae @exulansis-eun @gamezzzz

Pls tell me if I forgot anyone from the taglist and I'll fix it immediately.

I'll try to fix any grammar mistakes. Sorry for the delay

word count: 1,523 words

Lee Heeseung:

“Heeseung... What if i'm really pregnant?” Mina said bouncing on her feet.

Being nervous wasn't the words that she would use to describe how she feeling at the moment.

“If you are pregnant, then that means that our child will have the most amazing mother and the most amazing father.” He set his hands around Mina's waist, then accommodated his head on her shoulder.

“I'm not talking about that.” She sighed, looking at the ring on her finger.

“You mean... the loss?” Mina nodded, her gaze was sad and her eyes were glossy.

“It wasn't your fault jagi, and I know that you fear that the same thing will happen again, but I promise you that everything will turn out for good.” Heeseung placed a soft kiss on his wife's lips, then unified his forehead with hers.

“I think... I'll go check the test.” Mina said before placing a kiss in Heeseung's cheek and going to the bathroom to see the results.

He waited a few seconds and then...

“Heeseung, I'm actually pregnant!”

Park Jongseong

“How many times do I have to tell you that I'm fine?” Bella said looking at IV hooked on her hand.

Jay kept walking around the hospital room, he was a little bit mad, he thought that Bella hadn't taken care of herself as he told her to.

“As many times as you want, because it's not gonna work for me, or make me feel better.” He kept pacing around back and forth, trying to keep himself calm.

“If you keep rambling nothing will be solved.” Jay huffed, as he pinched the skin of his left arm.

“And if you keep dismissing your health nothing will get solved!”

Bella groaned, sometimes Jay could be way to stubborn.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I've been taking care of myself.” She pouted.

“It doesn't seem like that to me.”

Just in time the doctor appeared on the room.

“What is it doctor? Is she healthy?” She smiled at Jay and then at Bella.

“Well, there isn't any problem... Except that you have high levels of HCG.”

They both looked at the doctor completely confused.

“This high level of HCG only appears on pregnancy. Congratulations, you are pregnant.”

If they were confused before then, I don't know how to describe how they felt by the moment.

“Huh?!”

Shim Jaeyun

“Do you think is something bad?”

Jake shook his head, while looking around the doctor's office. He was way more anxious than what he showed, but he tried his best to stay calm for Teagan.

It had been days since Teagan started vomiting and having nausea, to the point that she spent most days locked in the bathroom and nearly fell down the stairs because of how dizzy she felt.

“I'm done! I'm taking you to the doctors!”

Teagan looked at him dumbfounded. Why did he wanted to take her to the doctors so suddenly.

“But I feel fine.”

“Being fine is not nearly falling down the stairs because of dizziness.”

Teagan hated hospitals with all her might, and always tried everything to avoid them, but guess who still drag her to the hospital? Jake!

The doctor finally entered the office, making the couple turn their gaze to him.

He gave them a small smile, before saying:

“I already have your lab results...”

Jake grabbed his wife's hand, trying to calm himself down a little and also reassuring her that everything will be okay.

In the best case he thought you had a stomach bug. In the worst case you could some kind of terminal illness.

... But gladly those weren't the cases.

“It seems like you have high levels of human chorionic gonadotropin.” Teagan looked at the doctor with a dumbfounded gaze.

“What those that mean?” Teagan looked at the doctor and then looked at Jake who was in shock, but then spoke.

“It means... that you are pregnant.”

Park Sunghoon

... It started when Sunghoon started having symptoms. Hyeyoung noticed how tired Sunghoon was does days and how he started having cravings... A lot of cravings.

“And can you please add an extra order of fries please?” “Thank you.”

He hanged up on the call while Hyeyoung looked at him weirded out.

“You sure you are okay?” She walked up to him, seating beside him on the sofa.

“Yeah, why wouldn't I be?”

“Well... because you are acting like a pregnant woman.”

Sunghoon giggled a little, before he realised that...

“Hyeyoung? When was the last time that you had your period?” The girl looked down for moment, and then she finally realised what was going on.

Now they were both looking at the positive pregnancy on their hands.

“Oh shit!”

“OH HOLY SHIT!”

Kim Sunoo

Another case of couvade syndrome...

“Ah! Noona! Sunoo-Hyung just fainted!” Aera ran to the studio and saw the boys fanning Sunoo to make him feel better.

Sunno saw Aera's worried expression and then smiled at her to ease her up.

“I'm fine jagiya. I'm just tired.” He stood up with the help of his oldest members.

He walked up to Aera, who changed her expression suddenly, she started feeling way to dizzy and all off the sudden she lost her balance and collapse on Sunoo's.

The rest of the members started shouting worriedly and asked the staff to call medical help.

“I guess we have the same condition or something.” Sunoo spoke when they where both in the doctors office waiting for both of their results.

“It's probably the flu, or a cold is kicking our butts.” Aera chucked and Sunoo giggled a little.

The doctor entered the room, with the results on his hands.

“Well it seems like Sunoo is pretty healthy and there is no reason for your collapse, except that you have couvade syndrome.” He frowned at the doctors words wanting a clear explanation.

“It's when a partner presents the same symptoms as their pregnant partner.” Aera was the one frowning at that moment. Was the doctor saying what she thought he was saying?

“I'm sorry, but my wife is not...”

“The fuck?! She's pregnant?!”

Yang Jungwon

This boy rushed to the hospital the moment that he got a call from her mom, saying that Mirae had fallen down the stairs.

He freaked out, but when he got there Mirae explained him that she had blacked out and that made her fall down three steps of stairs.

“Are you sure you don't feel pain or anything?” Jungwon played with her hair, while he sat on her hospital bed.

“Wonie, I'm fine, it's just a small bruise”

“And a concussion.” Mirae's mother blurted that out of nowhere. Which made the girl murmured a "Mom" angrily.

“Ah! I guess I'll stay up with you all night.” He said rubbing her shoulders.

“I also have something else to tell you...” She grabbed a strand of hair and started playing with it.

“Hmm?” Jungwon payed all his attention ontu her.

“The doctor did a few tests... Everything's okay, but...” She passed and stayed quiet for while.

“What's wrong Rae, you can tell me anything, remember?” Jungwon smiled showing his cute dimples.

Mirae sighed, inhaled... Then exhaled.

“I'm pregnant.”

Jungwon seemed in shock by what she had just blurted out, but then started laughing immediately.

He was happy, obviously he was... But then he paused.

“When did I made you a baby?”

Nishimura Riki

They where both visiting Niki's parents in Japan, they where on vacations so they used that to pay a visit to them.

Mei Lin wasn't feeling that good throughout the whole way to her in laws house, she felt like throwing up the ride in the plane, but she thought it was just motion sickness.

“You sure you are okay? If you don't feel well enough, we can stay at the hotel and go tomorrow.” Niki wasn't that sure of what to do at the moment, but he thought it would pass in a few hours.

“No, I think I still feel bad because of the flight, but it'll pass in a few minutes, I promise.” She said patting Niki's head before calling over a taxi.

They got home pretty fast and had dinner. They were both enjoying their time, but something about the food just made Mei feel nauseated. So she covered her mouth and nose with her left hand.

The family noticed pretty fast and Niki's sister was already looking for a pill to calm Mei's stomach down.

While Niki was rubbing her back, his mother commented.

“You know, this reminds me of the symptoms I had when I had a few weeks of pregnancy with Riki.” She laughed it off, but something about just made the rest of the family including Mei freeze.

“I think... I'll just go get a pregnancy test.”

Everybody's eyes widened and the thought of their daughter in law being pregnant was kinda shocking.

An hour later, a positive pregnacy test was on the couple's hands.

Niki and Mei were both in complete shock, they were happy of course... But still shocked.

“I wasn't expecting you guys to take me seriously when I said «I want grandchildren as soon as possible.»”

[andyet-here-we-are]

I Would Get Into Millions of Accidents Just to See You, Chapter 1

For @wolfgeralt as a little ‘thank you’ for his stunning art -which I really adore, you can see it here: (x)

and for @hecky-heckicravedeath (x) who gave me inspiration for this fanfiction. Also Thanks @3tothe1 for being my beta. (You’re such a sweetheart, and I love you so much)

Anyway,  I hope you like it, my dear Witchlings! 💛

I present you: NURSE GERALT!  

Chapter 1 Word Count: 2461

ao3: (x) 

Chapter 2 Tumblr link: (x) Chapter 3 Tumblr link: (x) Chapter 4 Tumblr Link: (x)

When Geralt arrives for his shift, still feeling exhausted from yesterday, he has no idea what’s waiting for him at the hospital. His days are never too ordinary because you never know what you’ll come across.

That’s a part of being a nurse.

But he could never think that one of the not-so-famous musicians, his daughter, Ciri adores, was going to have a terrible traffic accident—which somehow isn’t on the news—and end up in the hospital he works at.

He already knows his name since Ciri just can’t stop talking about how nice he is and how he sounds like an angel. To the point where sometimes Geralt wants to say “Okay he is wonderful, so kind and lovely and you really love him, I get it. Can you please just keep eating your pasta? Yes Ciri, yes, I know that pasta is his favorite food, you say that every time we’re having pasta. ”

Geralt isn’t there for his intake, apparently, the accident happened last night, and the musician was badly injured.

Jaskier has a ruptured spleen that caused internal hemorrhaging, which the doctors were able to repair. He also has a mild concussion, a couple of broken ribs, along with some cuts and a broken leg which he is probably going to need another surgery for.

Since the other nurse who was responsible for Jaskier last night,  is having some family issues and has to take his annual leave, Jaskier is in Geralt’s care now, they let Geralt know.

When Geralt is home, Ciri starts talking about how Jaskier hadn’t posted anything in two days, and how worried she is since Jaskier had promised them a new song, “He never breaks his promises,” she says.

Geralt thinks that keeping the fact that the young man was in a traffic accident to himself is a better idea.

***

Three days later, when Geralt cracks open the door to Jaskier’s room, the man still sounds asleep, his chest rising and falling with every slow breath he takes as the morphine keeps dripping into his system. It’s enough to keep him subdued, if not completely pain-free.

He checks his IV, and takes a few notes onto his clipboard, right before the musician comes to, his eyelids fluttering.

And damn if he hasn’t got the most breathtaking eyes he has ever seen in his whole life. Even when they lack the spark Geralt is sure they normally hold in them.

Jaskier is confused, of course. So he tells him about what has happened and clears his throat before speaking.

“Mr. Pankratz, I need to take your vitals and then give you some medicines for the pain, may I have your arm?”

“Hell you can, might as well take my poor heart that seems to be beating for—”  Jaskier flirts and coughs before he has the chance to finish, his voice is low and hoarse from lack of use.

Geralt makes no comments, and fills a cup of water for him instead, helping him to drink it. He is surprised by the musician’s flattering words, and he is also glad that he is good at keeping a neutral expression on his face.  

“…you.” He finishes. “Well, I would normally use the ‘am I dead and in Heaven?’ cliché, but, see,” Jaskier keeps talking after sipping some water “I’m in too much pain to think that I’m in heaven. You sure look like a sexy angel or something though.  Ohoho, are you gonna give me a sponge bath, too? Just wondering. If so, I’m totally down for it. Just so you know.”

Geralt can’t help but snort at that a bit, “Do you always talk that much?”

“Maybe it’s you who doesn’t talk enough, you ever considered that?” Jaskier teases, and then suddenly his whole playful expression changes like he remembered that he had left his cat on the stone, and he frowns to himself, “Oh God, three days you said? Shitshitshit,” he drops his head back onto his pillows in a way too dramatic manner, covering his eyes with one hand “I had promised them a new song,” the nurse hears him mumbling “I am such an idiot.”

Jaskier truly seems so disappointed in himself that Geralt feels the need of comforting him. The man had a traffic accident, for crying out loud!

And yet, he is concerned for his fans because he couldn’t keep his promise, rather than being worried for himself.

Not even an hour has passed since he had the chance to talk to the man, but he already can see why Ciri likes this guy that much.

“It’s not your fault that some idiot decided that running a red light and colliding with your car was a good idea,” Geralt says “don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Jaskier still seems disappointed, but he mumbles a silent 'thank you’ before he says “ you may be right, but I promised them.”

***

Days go like this: Jaskier keeps flirting with him every time Geralt steps into his room to check on him and give him his medicines. Geralt never flirts back because of obvious reasons, but he never tells him to stop either, even though he does judge him with his eyes now and then.

The moments Geralt can spend with the man is the most he feels happy at work.

He can’t even deny that at this point.

Ciri keeps asking him why he looks happier nowadays, and why he suddenly became clumsy all of a sudden because he loses his focus easily.

“Who is the reason behind your smile? I gotta know! C’mon, it’s not fair! Don’t leave me hanging like this!”  She insists, being the stubborn girl she is, and after a second she grins like cheshire cat “You’ve finally met someone special?”

“…I might have, pumpkin”  is his answer. “I might have.”

***

He doesn’t know why, but Geralt doesn’t like Thursdays. Well, it’s probably because everything bad has ever happened to him seemed to happen on Thursdays, usually.

And sadly, this Thursday is no exception.

Hank, a seventy years old man who has been here for more than a month, and who has been very ill passes away. Who he had become really close with and really cared about.

Jaskier catches his change of mood when he goes to check on him and simply says, “Talk to me. I mean, you don’t have to. But you look like you could use a friend. And I’m so bored of watching television anyway.”

So Geralt talks to him.

He talks about Hank, about how wise he was. He talks about how he has been working here for years but how it still affects him so much when someone passes away. How he doesn’t suppose to feel a connection with his patients, how terrible of a nurse that makes him.

“That makes you human, not a terrible nurse.” Jaskier assures him, his voice as gentle as always. “Believe me. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Geralt isn’t sure when Jaskier’s hand finds his hand as they talk, and when his dainty looking, long fingers link with his; but the intimate gesture feels so natural, so right that he just lets him.

***

Jaskier has surgery for his right leg the next day, and it’s not the first time that Geralt hears his patients saying the most ridiculous things after their surgery, thanks to the sedation.

But oh boy, if Jaskier doesn’t take it to a whole new level.

“Maaarry meee, my dear nurse!” the musician yells, “we could make the most adorable babies together! One of them would have my voice, one of them would have your weirdly sexy brooding or something. One of them would have my…. my tongue?  Or eyes? Cheeks! Yes, cheeks. And the other would have your lips while the other would have your… DIMPLE! I love that cute dimple you have on your jaw! ”

Geralt laughs, because how can he not?

“That’s biologically impossible.” the nurse says. “Also how many kids you have in mind? That was awfully a lot.”

“Hmm, let’s see. Marie, Duchess,” Jaskier starts to count with his fingers, and he looks so damn adorable that Geralt finds it extremely hard to not just reach out and ruffle his hair. “Thomas O'Malley, Toulouse, and Berlioz. So, six!”

“It’s five, actually,” Geralt tilts his head to the side slightly and corrects him with a fond, little smile. “So… you’re planning to name your kids after The Aristocats?”

“Our kids, mind you. And I’m not straight, love. You can’t expect me to do the math, I don’t make the rules.”

Love.

He just called Geralt ‘love’

“He probably calls ‘love’ everyone,” the nurse reminds himself and swallows, not being able to focus on what Jaskier says for a minute or so. “You’re no special.”

But the way Jaskier utters that one word, makes him feel like he is lying to himself.

When he can finally focus on what he is saying,  Jaskier is still talking about the same topic.

“…and you should be grateful that I’m not planning to name them after Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! If we’re gonna have more than six, I’m totally doing that though.”

“Why Mr. Pankratz, we’re not even married yet. But I already don’t have a say in anything, it seems.” Geralt can’t help but tease with the young man in return.

Jaskier waves one hand weakly: “Don’t take this as my marriage proposal though, I’m better than that. If I were to propose to you I would do that in the most wonderful way. Roses, candles, and everything. Even fireworks.”

Geralt remains silent, so Jaskier talks again: “And ya know, joking aside, actually we couldn’t name them unless we adopted them when they were babies.”

“Why do you want so many kids?” the nurse wonders, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, growing up in a foster care system will do that to you,” Jaskier lets out a loud and somehow cute yawn.

Geralt knows that he wasn’t even supposed to ask that, and he shouldn’t even listen to Jaskier rambling about his life, which he won’t even remember after the sedative effect wears off.

But he can’t suppress his need of knowing more about him.

He just can’t.

“Wanna adopt as many kids as I can, so I can provide ’em a life filled full of love and everything they deserve. All the beautiful things in the universe. All the things I couldn’t have when I was a kid.” Jaskier admits, and his words make Geralt’s heart clench in his chest.

At that moment, Geralt is sure that he is falling so hard for the musician.

Maybe he already did.

“Don’t think that I’m not gonna name our dogs after them though. Or cats.” Jaskier mumbles. He looks like he is just two seconds away from falling into a deep sleep.

Right when he moves to leave, Jaskier grabs his hand as he softly, sweetly whispers, “Geralt, don’t leave me.” And he sounds so vulnerable, so weak that the nurse’s heart skips a beat in his chest.

Geralt would love to say that he doesn’t leave all night, but he has other patients he needs to check on, so he leaves.

But not before staying for five minutes as he holds the musician’s hand, and watches him fall asleep. Nobody needs to know, right?

***

The next day, Jaskier doesn’t remember most of the things he had said last night, but somehow he remembers that Geralt had stayed for a while.

That day, feeling guilty about yesterday, Geralt talks about his life.

“It’s only fair,” he thinks.

He talks about Ciri, and he lets the musician know how crazy his daughter is about him. That makes Jaskier smile at him warmly, but then again, his smile is always like this.

Warmer than the sun on a hot summer day.

Blushing, Jaskier hesitantly says that he would love to meet her. His big, baby blue eyes seem to be searching for something in Geralt’s eyes.

And Geralt understands that he finds whatever he was searching for when Geralt nods and says: “We would love that, too.”

***

“Look! Jaskier finally posted something!” Ciri says one morning while they are having breakfast, well, more like Ciri is having breakfast, and Geralt is just busy with his coffee since he is in a hurry.

“Hmm?”

“Wait, was this an ‘I’m Actually Curious About What You Have To Say’ type of ‘hmm’? Because it definitely didn’t sound like your usual ‘I Don’t Care’ type of ‘hmm’. Nice! That might be the first time you actually seem curious about what I have to say about him.” Ciri smiles, and lets out a sad, little “Oh.” After reading whatever Jaskier had posted.

“He says that he is having some minor health issues…”

Geralt huffs at that.

‘Minor health issues’

If what he had gone through is “minor” to Jaskier, Geralt doesn’t even want to imagine what “major health issues”  mean in his dictionary.

But he is sure that the only reason why the musician says “minor” is because he doesn’t want to worry his fans.

“‘I am in good hands though—I mean it, really really good hands—so no need to worry. Love you all, xoxo’ Hmm… I hope it’s nothing serious.”

The nurse looks at his daughter’s phone screen and the excessive amount of winking face emojis after ‘really really good hands’ part catches his attention.

He tries to hide his smile behind his black coffee mug.

And luckily, he succeeds.

***

A few days later, it’s time for Jaskier to be discharged from the hospital. And Geralt feels a bit sad about it, to be honest. Because he is already used to having the young man around.

To his never-ending flirting and jokes, to his smile, to his everything.

But the good thing is, that means that he will be no longer his patient.

Jaskier gives him his number before he leaves, and tells Geralt to call him whenever he is free.

“I’m totally getting into another accident and make sure they bring me here if you don’t call, Mr. Handsome Nurse,” the musician jokes in a low voice.

“We wouldn’t want that now, would we?” Geralt smiles. “You can be sure that I’ll call, Jaskier. And we can even have some pasta maybe.”

It’s the first time that Geralt calls him by his first name, and the nurse can see how the other man’s smile widens when he does that, eyes sparkling.

“Wow. Now I have no doubt about how much Ciri talks about me,“ scratching the back of his head, Jaskier chuckles shyly, and it’s music to his ears. Ciri is right. He does sound like an angel.

"Till we meet again, Geralt. Till we meet again.”

[aesthyuckic]

AVENOIR | l.dh - QUATTUORDECIM

(gif not mine - credit to rightful owner)

Genre: High School AU (at beginning) ; Tarot Reader!Witch!Hyuck

Word Count: 2.7K

Warnings: (bold if in use) slow but with a purpose, belief contradictions, mentions of r*pe, blood(??), swearing, violence(??), mentions of abuse (??)

Pairings: Lee Donghyuck (Haechan) x Reader (F)

IV OF WANDS: home, community and celebration

The following morning after the summer solstice, Cosimia walked out into the kitchen half awake. She saw the coffee dripping into pitcher below it. She smiled at the thought of Donghyuck walking up before her and putting it on for her. She went and pour herself a cup she fixed with milk and sugar after. She walked over to the ither counter only to peer over and find her friend sitting on the carpet, reading.

The trailer bumped as they were driven down the road to next location, the books scattered across the floor moved slightly because of it. The sun came in threw the window and the curtains as the boy read away on the floor. It seem to shine on him like a spotlight that graced his golden skin. He glowed like an angel in the light and appeared so warm and cozy. The image made her smile to herself, lazily in her half awake state as she started to notice everything a bit more...

The way his nose curved and was so small... it was cute and the way his plump, pink lips pouted when in thought was too... With his little moles that came to rest on him and from patterns that he said he didn’t like and the long eyeslashes, just everything about him that she could probably list if she focused hard enough... She thought he was beautiful in every way possible. It was hard not to admire.

It wasn’t long before he felt the pair of eyes on him. He looked over to find the girl, still relatively half awake, take a sip of her coffee. She was still smiling after though...

“What are you smiling at?” He asked, genuinely confused.

“You.” She answered rather boldly.

“Understandable.” He mumbled with a nod as he stuffed his nose back into his book in hope it would take the attention away from his nervousness.

She hummed, contently, as she set down her mug. She walked over to one of the cabinets and pulled a box of cereal out as well as a bowl. As the poured the puffs into the bowl she looked over at the boy again. It was only then she realized what he’d been reading all that morning presumably.

“Are you sure you want to continue practicing?” She sighed as she put down the box on the counter. “You know... after the summer solstice?”

“I’m just reading about it right now.” He informed her. “I’d only practice the regular stuff. Besides the doctor said I was fine, right? No seizure, not even a concussion.”

“Oddly enough.” She muttered under her breath.

He knew how suspicious she grew about the whole thing... He admitted it was a weird thing to happen. He didn’t even tell her what he really saw. He thought it might have worried her even more which he wouldn’t have liked at all... He may have not been psychic like her but he could always tell when she was worried, at the very least, about him.

“I promise I’ll be fine, Cosimia.” He reassured. “I won’t do anything dangerous, I promise you that.”

“Okay,” She rolled her eyes as she spoke softly. “You better.”

He smiled at her, loving the fact that she cared about him... Loving the fact that someone was looking for him. In all honesty, he had never felt so safe with someone before she came along.

“I’d never lie,” To his irony which was a lie. “Not to you at least.”

An even deeper lie. But it was white, wasn’t it?

They went about their morning as normally as they could as they drove down the road. It was warm and relaxing compared to most to be quite frank. They laid on the carpet as they just talked about random things, the sun from the window keeping the atmosphere heated around them. Donghyuck’s records played softly in the background of it all. It was another one of those times with her that he didn’t remember much other than the feelings really... He did remember her laughing a few times and how beautiful it looked in the sunlight and how warm it made him feel all over much like other times.

Unfortunately to their disliking, the pleasant morning didn’t last forever. Their trailer stop abruptly which caused the laughing to stop as they sat up. They had finally made it to their destination and now it was time to set up for the day. What made it worse is they had to rush since they’d be opening soon which made them groan internally as they helped each other off the floor.

The both of them practically still in their pajamas also had to rush to get ready as they had gotten carried away with themselves that morning. The girl occupied the bedroom to change while the boy took the bathroom to wash up. He finally came to look at himself in the mirror. His hair was unkept and it looked like he had just gotten out of bed when he had been up for hours.

He noticed the bags under his eyes. The moles on his face he was never too fond of... He started to find more things that only fed into his insecurities... His frown seemed to get bigger every time something new popped into his head. Why was this only happening today? Or why was it so bad today? He rubbed his cheeks out of frustration and as he felt them, he grew even more frustrated at the thought of how chubby they were. He huffed, putting his hands down beside him again as he stared at himself with a sadden expression.

Cosimia happened to have gotten dressed rather quickly that morning and even walked by to catch a glimpse of his frustrations. She walked into the bathroom despite how small it was. She came to stand behind him and looked at him through the mirror. She rested her hands on his upper arms before she laid an unexpected kiss on his shoulder. He felt all tingly while he seemed to stop breathing for a moment after she did that. He shivered a bit too, but in a good way oddly enough.

The whole thing made him feel high. The whole morning had to be honest. He had no idea what had gotten into her. Everything she was doing was very much unlike her but he found himself enjoying it.

“I think you look beautiful everyday, no matter what.” She cooed as she rested her chin on his shoulder, telling him what he needed to hear without him having to say anything about it. “But I can tell you don’t feel like that today... So, come with me.”

She grabbed his hand, gently, guiding him outside and through the trailers. Their coworkers going the opposite way to help set up, a lot of them greeting them. He followed closely behind the girl, trying to hide his face almost as that particular day he felt inadequate. It’s not like they hadn’t seen him before either, they never even thought much about the way he looked. Even if they did, they thought he was a handsome young man. It’s just that day everything was getting to him more than usual for some reason.

He gave her some space once they stood in front of a familiar trailer that knew as Sicheng’s. She was about to knock on the door but before she could, it swung open. Ten came out rather hasitly as he glared at them. He was red as tomato, not leaving them a doubt in their minds that he still hated them for some reason. He even went as far as to shove pass the girl which in return had her fell into boy behind her.

For some reason, it angered Donghyuck when the other did that. He felt an unreasonable amount of anger against him for shoving Cosimia like that, even if she was fine, it was still rude and uncalled for. He remembered back to when they first came, how Ten tried to fight him but his friend stopped it before anything could happen. He wondered if she had felt the same type of anger in that moment for him...

She stood back up with a scoff as she glared at Ten as he walked away without a thought of turning back. The door didn’t take long to swing back open, only this time because of their friend, Sicheng. Before he even opened the screen door he was letting out strings of apologies on Ten’s behave which he so often did. He even checked to see if they were okay.

“Wait, what are you guys doing here?” He asked, stopping what he was doing immediately. “You’re supposed to be helping everyone set up.”

“Can you please get Hendery and Lucas to cover for us?” She begged, much like a child would. “We wanted to borrow your makeup real quick! That is, if it’s okay with you.”

“Fine,” Sicheng caved rather quickly with a sigh. “Only this time am I getting the guys to cover for you. Don’t touch anything with cool tones, those belong to Ten. He’s pissed enough about the floor, we don’t need makeup on top of it too.”

He ran off in a hurry after that. Cosimia grabbed one Donghyuck’s hands with hers while the other waved despite the older not being able to see.

“Thank you!” She yelled before pulling the boy inside.

She dragged him behind her to the bathroom with a giggle before sitting him on the cool floor. Silver and red still stained much of the faux tile and even some of the whites of the bathtub and sink. The memory of it kind of made him smile to himself as he remember banging his head against the wall because of her. He was startled out of the memory when the girl threw down a big box, presumed to be full of makeup between them as she sat down across from him.

“I thought you hated makeup.” He said as opened it up and began to pick out a few things.

“On myself,” She shrugged. “This is for you and I don’t mind doing it for other people.”

“Can I ask why you hate it so much?” He questioned, softly.

She was shocked that he wasn’t opposed to the idea of makeup but rather wondered why she was the one opposed to it...

“Well, I use to cover up the bruises I had with it.” She told him, straightforward before she leaned over. “Now, look at me. I need to prep your skin...”

She had cleaned his face with some of Sicheng’s skincare products before wiping his face with a towel soaked with water. He must admit in that moment, he felt more cared for then any other time. She dried his face off too and moisturized his skin before she put on the BB cream that was slightly off a tone or two. It was a shame that they didn’t have any other color that would go well with Donghyuck’s skin... She thought it would work, only for today though.

“Makeup is to those who enjoy wearing it is suppose to make them feel more confident and powerful.” She sighed, as continued to smooth out the cream. “It was the opposite feeling for me and it irritated my skin so...”

She was soon applying some eyeshadow she had found at the bottom of the box. A golden color that shined which she found so pretty. It was only a moment before she had moved onto the lip tint that colored his lips even more pink then they were. She chuckled slightly to herself looking at the boy so close in front of her who had his lips puckered with her hand under his chin.

“What?” He asked, worrisome that he looked weird.

“I just think gold, glittery eyeshadow was made for you.” She confessed.

“Oh, do you now?” He batted his eyelashes with a pout.

“C’mon pucker up! I’m still not done with your lip tint!”

He had nothing else to stare at other than her in that moment. He felt everything around him slow down for a second as she looked up from his lips. He swore he could see a sparkle in her eye before things seem to speed back up to a normal pace. It was the same sparkle she had seen with Choerry and of course, the same with Lucas.

He struggled to breathe at even the thought. He couldn’t help himself from playing the scenario over and over in his head while his cheeks remained heated as she pulled away, finished. Even if was short in reality, at least it could live like an eternity in his mind...

She helped him off up the floor and moved out of his way after. He approached the mirror while he had a hint of nervousness in him. Once he looked at himself in the mirror, he found himself liking it a lot... It was a rather natural look but it seem to cover up the blemishes he had found to pick on that morning. Though, he noticed something right away about the look.

“You didn’t cover my moles.” He mumbled.

“I like them too much,” She replied. “I’m sorry to be selfish, they’re just so cute...”

He felt warm inside about the comment. She said she liked them before but never that they were cute... He never liked them much on himself. She happened to have some too, that he found beautiful on her. One near the corner of lips that seem to be perfectly placed and a few tiny, light ones around her lips... Thers were two next to her left eye that could form a smile if you had drawn under them and then there was a few on her chin and forehead as well. They scattered across the rest of her body too from what he could see whenever she took off the long clothing inside only to walk around in shorts and a tank top. He noticed she only let herself be exposed that much around him....

“I can’t go out like this though.” He said, abruptly reaching for the making up wipes.

“Aye!” She hissed as she slapped his hand away. “Why not?! I worked hard on it! Do you not like it?”

“It’s not that I don’t like it...” He started. “We’re in the country... You know they aren’t as progressive... They’re gonna think I’m gay when I’m not. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, that’s just not who I am...”

“Oh, Haechan... Having a certain interest or acting a certain way doesn’t determine something like that. I know you might understand that and maybe not everyone does but they need to learn that.”

“I just don’t want to get beat up... or worse.”

She sighed before reaching over into the box for the wipes and handing it to him, “If you really fear for your well being, here are the wipes. I don’t know how many times I have to make it clear with my words and actions, though... I won’t let anyone hurt you for any matter, especially not for something like makeup. Honestly, I’d stab them if I have to! And you could hex them too for all I care!”

He looked her in the eye, able to sense the sincerity of all her words. He could still very well see there was a part of her that wanted him to decide to go with the other opinion. He took the wipes out of her hands, carefully before he stared down at him. He thought about how good it felt and how hard she worked on it for him. She only did it to make him feel better that morning. He was too aware of the fact that she’d do anything to protect him, even if it did mess with her ability...

“Cosi knows best, right?” He chuckled as he threw them back in the box.

“Cosi?” She questioned with a tilt of her head.

“Yeah,” He nodded. “It sounds like cozy... and you make me feel that way.”

“Stop that.”

“No.”

He could see how easily the blush came to her cheeks with the comment. It allowed him to be the one who was grinning at the fact this time. He got why she kind of liked doing it now...

[mtngirlforever]

SRK ❤ pt. 2

So since I'm not really feeling this work day have some Carlos whump with a adorable Tarlos and a baby! Thank you to all you who offered medical input on this! I tried to gloss over it as much as possible so as not to screw it up too bad! Enjoy!

Here is part 1 if anyone needs a refresher https://mtngirlforever.tumblr.com/post/190830195629/srk-pt-1

Oh & In my head for this fluffy story  Iris doesn't have any problems sorry not sorry 

10 months later 

They'd settled into a fairly good routine with Sofia. Iris kept her when they were on shift at the same time which happened more often than not. If Iris couldn't, then usually Grace did if she was off and free. If neither could they resorted to plan c but that rarely happened. They were currently planning her first birthday and waiting for actual words instead of adorable babbles. She'd started walking when she was ten months old and they'd not been able to stop her since. Everybody loved the adorable little girl but none more than her parents. 

They'd left her with Iris for the day as they both had shift. TK was on a twelve covering for somebody and Carlos would be off in eight. They'd left her with kisses and promises to return soon. 

Carlos ended up having to work over when a call kicked off before he clocked out. He’d texted Iris and TK letting them know he’d be working over, but TK hadn’t heard from him since. TK had two hours left in his shift when they got the call to respond to an officer involved accident. It'd been a routine chase until a car came out of nowhere t-boning the side of the officer's cruiser sending it rolling through the air. The officer was currently trapped in his car and barely conscious. TK's heart dropped into his stomach when he heard Grace's calm voice say "Captain it's Carlos." 

Owen gave him an appraising look and Judd leaned over squeezing his shoulder giving him something to ground him. He could only nod back at his dad; his mind running on a loop of praying Carlos would be ok. He had to be ok. 

It took all TK had to resemble being professional when they got there. The cruiser was right side up, but  the passenger side was caved in, and it was noticeable that the cruiser had flipped. TK was in the car before Owen could even finish giving out the orders; he knew his son would want to make sure Carlos was fine with his own eyes. 

It felt like an eternity, but TK knew his team worked as fast as they could to get him out. Carlos was in and out, and TK was worried about internal injuries he couldn’t see. He could tell Carlos for sure had a broken ankle, and multiple cuts and bruises. He was almost positive Carlos had a concussion, and with the way he was in and out, TK was worried something inside was bleeding. As soon as they had him free, TK jumped in the ambulance with Michelle, praying the whole way Carlos was going to be ok. 

They'd been at the hospital for two hours now and TK was going stir crazy. He just wanted to see his husband and know that he was going to be ok. Michelle had called her sister and asked her to keep Sofia longer explaining what had happened. Iris readily agreed and told Michelle to keep her updated. 

Another hour passed before a doctor came out informing TK that Carlos was out of surgery. His ankle had been fixed, and they’d had to remove his spleen. He had a low grade concussion as well. A few of the cuts required stitches, especially one on his head. The doctor was certain he would make a full recovery, as long as nothing went awry and no infections set in. He promised TK that as soon as Carlos was moved to a room, he could see him.  

Owen hugged his son tight once the doctor walked off. He could see that TK was at the end of his rope and just needed a minute.  "It's gonna be ok. He's strong and he's gonna be fine," he whispered. 

"I know… I just…"

"I know," Owen said, giving him a squeeze. "I'm gonna go get Sofia from Iris but you call me if you need me ok?" 

"Yea…. Yea I will. Thanks dad. Give her a hug and kiss from us, yea?" He said giving Owen another tight hug. 

"I will kiddo." Owen and the rest of the team minus Judd and Grace left TK with it. Judd refused to leave until he was sure his little brother got back to see Carlos. 

Once they had Carlos in a room, TK went back to see him, and Judd and Grace went home making TK promise to call if he needed them. TK walks into the room and let's out a soft sigh. He pulls up a chair and grabs the hand that doesn't have an iv in it. He holds the hand tight, finally letting the tears fall he'd been holding in since they’d gotten the call. 

"You've got to be ok. Please be ok," he whispered. He sat there holding his hand and just watching his chest rise and fall until exhaustion took over and he fell asleep. It wasn't restful with nurses coming in and out, but he did get a little sleep. The doctor had told TK with a combination of the concussion and pain meds and anesthesia, Carlos would probably sleep for a while or be really in and out. The few times Carlos woke during the night, TK was asleep and the dim light in the room hurt his head too much to even wake TK.  TK's woken the next morning by Owen calling. 

"Hey dad," he said, rubbing his eyes as he answered the phone. He could hear his baby girl crying in the background and it broke his heart. 

"Hey kiddo. Guess you can hear little miss is not very happy."

"Yea I hear her. Put me on facetime." He just wanted to hold her tight and kiss the tears away but he wasn't sure if she needed to be there and see Carlos like that. 

They clicked over to facetime and TK’s heart broke even more when Sofia kept crying trying to reach for him through the phone. 

"Hey baby girl. You're ok. You're ok," he cooed at her. "Pops ain't that bad baby," he chuckled. 

She kept crying "dadadadada" over and over. She'd started saying dada a few weeks ago, and they were working on getting her to say papa now. 

"I know Sof. I'm sorry baby girl. You're ok tho. Daddy and Papa will be home as soon as we can." 

He blew kisses at her but nothing was working. "Just bring her on down dad. She's being stubborn like her papa," he smiled. "Oh and maybe a change or two of clothes for us?" 

"Yea kiddo if you're sure." 

"Not really, but she doesn't look like she's gonna stop anytime soon," he sighed. There was nothing he hated more than seeing his baby girl so upset. 

"Alright we'll be there in just a little bit," Owen said as they signed off. 

TK put his phone back in his pocket and sighed, picking up Carlos's hand again. "Your daughter is being stubborn just like you," he whispered. "She's giving dad a fit. So you better wake up because I don't want to scare her, you hear me Carlos. You gotta wake up," TK pleaded as he brushed the wayward curls off Carlos's forehead. 

Carlos stayed asleep and TK sighed. He kept rubbing his head and holding his hand just praying he'd wake up soon. Carlos came around a little, but his head was hurting too bad from the stitches and the concussion, that he drifted back off with TK whispering sweet nothings to him. TK hated seeing him in pain, so he was glad he was resting some. TK let everyone know he was wake but really in and out from the pain but they could visit.

Owen and Sofia arrived about thirty minutes later. She wasn't crying, but her little face was still red and she was still sniffling. As soon as she saw him, she started crying again babbling dada as she tried to get out of Owen's arms. "Oh baby girl," TK chuckled getting up and getting her. "You're ok Sof," he chuckled, rubbing her back and kissing her cheeks. He settled back in the chair by Carlos's bed glad she hadn't seen him yet as she snuggled into his neck sucking her thumb. She let out the occasional hiccup sob making TK chuckle a little. 

"Sorry dad," TK said once she'd settled. 

"It's ok kiddo. I remember someone else being just as dramatic when he was younger," Owen laughed getting an eye roll and a smile from TK. 

"Sofia Kennedy, Pops thinks we're dramatic," he cooed, rubbing her back. She just sniffled and closed her eyes, not loosening her grip on TK. 

A few hours later Sofia was sitting on Carlos's bed patting his legs and babbling to TK. Carlos had slept most of the day, only rousing a little while Sofia was napping. The whole team had been by to check on them and when Grace offered to take her, Sofia threw another fit making TK sigh. "Thanks anyways Grace," he told her when she gave him a hug and told him to call if he needed them. 

"Sof, what is your deal?" He cooed picking her up. She had always been easy going staying with someone else until now. 

"She knows you're worried and can sense something is going on," Owen said from his perch in the room. "She'll be ok once you're ok TK." 

TK just nodded letting Sofia snuggle on him some more. He softly talked to Carlos more and Sofia climbed back on the bed babbling to him. She kept looking at TK all confused when Carlos wasn't paying her any attention. 

"Papa's just sleeping baby girl," TK said, picking her up. 

"No no no no," she cried, reaching for Carlos again. 

"Alright baby girl I think Pops needs to take you home," he told her, kissing her cheek. Owen knew how hard this was on TK and he felt for his son. 

"Come on Sof, we'll go check on Buttercup," he told her trying to take her. She wrapped around TK tight crying. 

'Sof baby," TK cooed rubbing her back giving his dad the saddest look. 

"Ty," they barely heard over Sofia's cries. "Sof," Carlos said slowly waking up hearing his baby girl cry. 

"Dad," TK said, pulling Sofia loose and handing her to Owen. 

"Carlos babe? You ok?" He asked leaning over and rubbing his hair back as he gripped his hand tight. The few times he'd been in and out hadn't been enough for TK and he could tell this time he was fully waking up. 

"Tyler," Carlos said, finally fully opening his eyes.

"Hey babe I'm here," TK said softly kissing him. “You hurting? How’s your head?” TK asked softly. He reached over dimming the lights as low as possible knowing they'd bothered him earlier.  

"Sofia?" Carlos asked looking around. He knew he'd seen her napping on TK earlier, and he heard her crying but didn't see her. 

"Dads got her. She's ok. She's just being stubborn," he chuckled. 

"Or dramatic," Owen piped up bringing her back in. 

She was still crying, mad TK had handed her off earlier. "Sofia," Carlos cooed, getting her attention. 

Her big eyes settled on him before she rubbed them and reached for him. "Pap pap pap pap," she said for the first time trying to say papa. 

"She just…. Carlos she said it," TK said, lighting up as Sofia finally said it. "Come here baby girl," TK cooed, taking her and kissing her face. He held her down for Carlos to kiss on her and she turned the tears off. 

"Be easy Sof. We gotta take care of Papa while he's hurt," TK cooed at her when she tried wiggling out of his arms to get to Carlos. 

Sofia was getting sleepy, but cried once again when Owen tried to take her. "Take her home," Carlos said, still sleepy himself. 

"No. No way. I'm not leaving you here," TK said holding Sofia like a football swaying her back and forth to settle her. Her eyes were so heavy as she babbled sleepily watching Carlos. "She'll be asleep in just a few and dad can take her." 

Carlos sighed but nodded. He knew if the roles were reversed he wouldn't leave TK. Twenty minutes of swaying later and Carlos told TK she was out. Her thumb was in her mouth and she was sound asleep. TK shifted her up to his shoulder to make sure she'd stay asleep. Once they were sure she was out, Owen carefully took her telling his sons he'd see them tomorrow. 

TK slipped on an APD hoodie Owen had packed and sat back down by the bed. "You really scared me," he whispered, squeezing Carlos's hand tight. 

"I know… I'm sorry," Carlos said trying to tug TK to him. 

"You know I can't," TK chuckled leaning over and kissing him.

"You can break the rules just once," Carlos turned up the puppy eyes he'd learned from TK and it had TK caving. He crawled in the bed beside him and softly kissed his husband. "Never again, you hear me babe? Never again even if it got our daughter to finally say Papa." 

"I know. Never again," Carlos said, running his hand through TKs hair before they both drifted off. 

[dearlazerbunny]

Lie to Me (Ch. 20 of 28)

Pairings: Loki x Reader

Genre/Ratings: M eventually (aiming for a slow burn here); warnings for kidnapping and subsequent anxiety/PTSD (will be marked before every chapter)

Words: 1700

Summary: If you had to guess what the captured, traitor, trickster god Loki Laufeyson wanted or needed at this moment, a babysitter would be far, far down on the list. (Set after the events of Avengers 1.)

SHOUTOUT TO @molmcb and @jessiejunebug, who have achieved golden thrones in whatever afterlife they deem worth enough to house their awesomeness for all eternity

Requested Tags: @deraniel, @iamverity,  @yasnooshka24, @wegingerangelica, @themusingsofmany, @dark-night-sky-99, @tarynkauai, @stuffandstuff-stuff, @angelicshinigami, @my-current-fandom-is, @geekysimmerthings,           @lokis-butter-knife

WARNING: mentions of extreme anxiety 

There’s a very annoying beeping somewhere to your left, and it simply will not shut up.

At first you think it’s your alarm, and you move to shut it off, but then you find moving to be very, very difficult. Excruciatingly so. Everything is burning and also sore at the same time, and something is making it hard to breathe…

You open your eyes. Everything is white for a moment, blinding you, but it eventually recedes into something more tolerable. Only just, though, your eyes hurt along with the rest of you. You’re tucked into a bed, a sheet pulled over your chest, with various machines tapped into the crook of your arms. They itch, but you can’t scratch them. There’s also a murmuring to your right, and when you look over you have a hard time processing what you’re seeing.

Loki, in a plain metal chair, handcuffed in those same weird manacles he’s always restrained by. There’s a gash on his cheekbone that’s faded to almost nothing. His hair is a mess like you’ve never seen it, his clothes- his armor, not the prison uniform- are disheveled and… bloody? It’s hard to tell with the black leather. His eyes are closed and he’s murmuring things in a language you can’t understand, but it seems awfully familiar… “Are you… praying?” You try to say, but the words get muffled by something.

Loki’s eyes snap open, though. You’ve made enough noise to get his attention. For a moment, he stares at you like you’re the answer to every question Aristotle ever asked- wait, wrong culture- and you look back at him for help, confused, hoping your eyes will talk for you since you can’t seem to speak.

Loki bangs on the window behind him with a heavy fist, and you wince at the noise. He looks at you apologetically. A second later, Thor comes rushing in, disheveled in a similar manner. What the heck happened…? “Is the lady awake?” He asks frantically, and you try to say yes of course you’re awake, why were you asleep in the first place-? But again, everything gets garbled.

Thor reaches for something- your face- and panic washes through you so strongly you startle hard enough to jerk the bed. Tears flood your eyes- what are you doing? This is Thor, he’s not going to hurt you. But your body doesn’t seem to get the memo, trembling like it has a mind of its own.

The god hesitates, something sad in his eyes, then starts in a little slower. “I am sorry, my lady. I do not mean to frighten you. I only want to help…” gently, he tugs a plastic mask off of your mouth and nose. You hold absolutely still, only releasing your breath when he’s backed up a few feet.

“Thor?” You croak. Your voice sounds horrific. “What-”

“Shh. You are safe.” Safe from what? “How much do you remember?”

Loki’s gaze on you is fierce and draws your eye to him. “I…” flashes race through your head. Pain. Screaming. Loki, standing over you, fury in his eyes, magic crackling around his unbound hands- your eyes widen. “Oh my god- oh my-” The beeping to your left gets faster as your heart rate ratchets up a thousand paces. They took you. They- they tortured you, oh god, it hurt so bad- something closes around your wrist, cool and solid, and this time you don’t flinch. Because you know that hand. It had held your own until you slipped in and out of unconsciousness, flirting with death.

“Witling,” Loki says softly. “Focus on me.” You do so, blinking away tears. “Breathe. You’re going to be alright, darling. You are safe,” he says firmly, and you nod, because if you’re going to believe anyone right now it’s him.

There are a lot of doctors and nurses who filter in wanting to look at you, wanting to give you this and that, pills or syringes full of mysterious clear liquid that immediately makes you suspicious. But Thor is standing in the corner, arms crossed, watching everything. He won’t let you get hurt. So whenever they push another syringe into the tubing connected to your arm, you simply look at Loki rather than whatever they’re doing to you. He never lets go of your wrist, though he does eventually take your hand when a particularly sharp pain flares through you, making you grab for him. The words don’t stop either- some are in English, some Norwegian, some Asgardian (you assume), but all have the same connotation: I’m here, you’re safe, I’ve got you, we’ve got you. Everything is going to be okay.

The doctors talk about very scary things with passive and emotionless voices. You suppose that’s their job, but you can’t help but tighten your grip on Loki’s fingers when they casually explain your concussion, your broken ribs, a shattered ankle… the list goes on. Eventually, you close your eyes and tune them out, choosing instead to listen to the comfort spilling from the man at your side.

“Loki,” Thor says softly. “You need to change clothes, brother. And attend to- your other business.”

“I’m not going to-”

“Brother.” Thor’s voice is a warning. “I will stay with her. She is safe with me.”

He looks at you reluctantly, considering. “I will be right back,” he says, and you nod as he leaves with one last careful squeeze of your fingers.

Once the door closes, you waste no time. “Thor, what happened? I don’t remember everything, and he- he’s not going to tell me, I don’t think.”

Thor doesn’t argue with you. “I think he does not want to scare you any further,” he says. Then he tells the tale. How they watched you get taken, and when Loki found out he demanded he be let out to go to you. You had been missing for three days at that point. A lot of damage done. He glosses over the battle part, which is fine with you, skipping to where Loki found you huddled in the closet, and then-

“I shot you?” You shriek, a little hysterical, when Loki comes back into the room.

He immediately gives his brother a hard look before resuming his place at your side. “It is not that bad, Witling. Asgardians heal very quickly.” From underneath his tunic you can see clean bandages wrapping his shoulder.

“I- I still-”

“You were out of your mind with pain and fear,” he corrects. “You were only doing what the situation demanded.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

“I would rather have you alive and a few new scars than the alternative.”

And that was the end of that.

The next hurdle was preventing you from ripping out your own IVs when they wanted to give you something for pain. “Please don’t,” you beg, knowing the medicine will only make you sleep, and that makes you defenseless, and that means you’re in danger. The fact that you have two gods in the room hell-bent on protecting you isn’t even a thought in your mind. Not even Loki’s gentle coaxing can get you to calm down this time.

“I have an idea,” Thor says, and returns with Mjolnir around one wrist. Loki is immediately on edge, but Thor holds out his hand. “Peace, brother. Wait and see. May I?” He offers you Mjolnir, and you’re confused, but then he goes to the other side of your bed and gently unfolds the hand not clinging to his brother. Mjolnir goes head-down into your open palm. It’s surprisingly not heavy at all- just a slight pressure. “Now, you are not going anywhere.” You actually grin when you realize his plan. You know only someone worthy can lift the hammer- so even if someone wanted to snatch you from your bed, they wouldn’t be able to pull you out from under Mjolnir.

“Thank you,” you giggle, still wondering at the fact that you’re basically holding an ancient, all-powerful hammer that you’ve studied all your life in the palm of your hand. You almost ask someone to take a picture. Trickster visibly relaxes at your laughter, and Thor claps him on the shoulder. “I will leave her in your care,” he says, and then the two of you are alone.

You’re still anxious waiting for the drug to get into your system, so you ask what you’ve been dying to know: “how the hell did you get SHIELD to let you loose?”

“There may have been a few threatening tirades involved,” he admits. “And Thor lobbied on my behalf. Once you were safe I agreed to any conditions they required to let me stay here.” He raises his hands a little to gesture to the handcuffs. “Mysteriously, they could not seem to find the silencing mask,” he says, looking at you carefully.

“How strange,” you offer, but then you grin. You’d hidden it in an air vent so they couldn’t use it again.

“I am afraid I may have rubbed off on you, Witling.”

“I don’t think that’s the worst thing to happen to me, considering,” you say wryly.

“I am so very sorry, darling. None of this would have happened if not for me. And then I did not get to you sooner…” the guilt in his voice is horrible. You wouldn’t even need to know him well to see that he’s persecuting himself for what happened.

You shake your head slowly, so you don’t make anything hurt. “It’s not your fault, Loki. The fact that you even came for me at all is incredible.”

“Of course I came for you. Did you think that I would not?”

“I mean, I’d hoped Thor would.  But you were in a cell, I wasn’t going to expect the impossible from you. And I doubt anyone else really would have cared.”

“Hush. You would be severely missed.”

By now your head is drooping from the medicine coursing through your system. “You would have missed me?” You ask sleepily, and tuck your head down into your pillow so you can fall asleep.

You don’t quite catch the words he says in response, too intent on letting unconsciousness pull you into its grip.

A/N: whoever can write the best line for Loki at the end (where Reader doesn’t hear what he says) gets the next chapter gets a prize! A ficlet, a request, next chapter preview, whatever!

Comment down below! I wanna see what y’all come up with :D

[ialwayscomewhenyoucall]

Like a Building Fell on Him

winterhawk

~2.7k

Pacing is not easy in a hospital room, even in the oversized versions they have in the Tower, but Bucky manages to do it anyway. He’d started out sitting in the chair by the bed, but that had lasted about four minutes. He couldn’t sit still.

Clint is still enough for both of them.

How had this happened? No one could tell Bucky. No one had been there to see. Bucky had been on the other side of the building, dealing with some sort of robots. Tony thought they’d been remotely controlled, but they’d been enough of a pain in the ass, no matter if they’d been AI or not. Bucky and Steve had been knocked around plenty...but neither one of them ended up in a hospital bed.

Clint though… He’s got a bandage wrapped around his head, although the nurse who keeps coming in to check on him keeps reassuring Bucky that there is no concussion. The “this time” isn’t spoken, but is evident in her pursed lips. He’s got a bruise under his right eye, his right arm is broken, he’s got several cracked ribs, and his right ankle is broken too.

And there are so many cuts and scrapes. He looks like a building fell on him.

Which, of course, is exactly what had happened.

*

“You’re going to wear a hole in the floor if you keep pacing like that,” Steve says from the doorway.

“Are you kidding? Have you ever heard one of Tony’s ‘superior materials’ lectures? Even I couldn’t damage this floor just by walking on it. Not in a single afternoon, at least.”

Steve stops his restless pacing with a hand clasp to the shoulder. “You really should get some rest.”

“I’m fine.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t, Buck. But he’s got good doctors and nurses to take care of him. It’s hardly your responsibility--”

“I promised Natasha I’d have his back while she was gone.” There’s a hollow quality to his voice, even he can hear it.

“Bucky. This wasn’t your fault.”

Bucky waves him off. “I know. But I can at least be here when he wakes up. Nat would be, if she was here.”

Without a word, Steve walks out of the room. Bucky looks through the empty doorway, surprised. But he shouldn’t have been. In three minutes Steve is back, carrying another chair and a deck of cards. “You can at least let me keep you company for awhile.”

*

Bucky is asleep in the chair when Clint wakes up.

“Bucky? ’ssat you?”

Clint’s voice is weak and his words slur together, but he’s definitely awake.

“Hey.” Bucky’s voice is rough as gravel, sticky with sleep. “Hey, Barton. Was starting to worry. Too much beauty sleep and you might beat me out in the next Prettiest Avenger competition.”

Clint starts to smile, then grimaces. “Fuck, tha’ hurs. Ow. It all hurs.”

“Shh, don’t try to move, alright? I talked to the doctor, you’re going to be fine. You just need time to heal.” He’s already pushing the call button when he says, “I’ll get a nurse to give you some more pain meds and you can go back to sleep.”

The smile starts to creep across Clint’s features again but Bucky holds up a finger. “None of that. You can do all the smiling you want in a day or so. For now, just rest.”

“You gon’ ssay?”

Clint’s looking up at him like a puppy waiting for a scratch behind the ears. Something flutters in Bucky’s chest, and he suddenly wonders why Natasha asked him in particular to have Clint’s back.

“Yeah,” Bucky says, and Clint’s face relaxes into an easy smile. Bucky’s not sure if it’s his answer or the pain meds the nurse just pushed into his iv, but Clint looks genuinely happy. The pain meds seem to be working, anyway, if he can smile without pain. “Yeah, I’ll stay,” he says. “Just go to sleep.”

Clint nods, his face solemn once again. Then he yawns, says, “I nee’ta sleep now. An’ you ‘ave pretty eyes. Like ’em.”

Bucky just stares, unsure how to react to that. He keeps thinking, Yeah, but so do you, but he’s not sure if he can just say that. In the end it doesn’t matter; while Bucky is arguing with himself, Clint drifts back to sleep.

*

The next time Clint wakes up he’s a bit more coherent, but not much.

“Nat?” he says. Then slightly more frantic, “Nat? I can’t--”

Bucky tries not to startle him, but he’s got to get his attention somehow and obviously talking won’t do it. He takes Clint’s grasping hand as gently as he can, but the man still jumps and tries to pull away.

Understandable.

But Bucky doesn’t let go. He carefully unfolds Clint’s fingers and drops the aids into his palm. Making sure Clint is looking at him he says and signs at the same time, “I took them out after you fell asleep. Figured it was probably more comfortable.”

Clint nods, then slips the aids into place. He winces at the pain on the right side of his head but doesn’t make a sound of complaint.

“Where’s Nat?” he asks.

“On a mission. Has been since last week. You don’t have a concussion, it must just be the drugs muddling your thoughts.”

He nods, grimacing again. “Yeah. Brain isn’t too clear.”

“How’s the pain?”

“I’ve had worse.”

Bucky rolls his eyes at the non-answer.

“What’re you doing here?”

Bucky shrugs. “Drew the short straw.”

Clint’s eyes flutter closed before Bucky can parse out the look he sees in them.

He stands up to start pacing again--this room is just too small--when he hears a whispered, “Thanks,” from the bed.

“Anytime,” he says, but Clint is already asleep.

*

“You’re still here? I thought you guys worked in shifts or something.”

Bucky looks up from his book, a smile on his face. “Nah. They all figured I don’t need much sleep, so I got the full time job,” he says as well as signs.

Before Clint can ask he sweeps the aids from the bedside table and sets them in his open palm. Clint’s look is thankful and genuine.

“Feeling better?”

Clint shifts his body around on the bed, trying out various muscles and body parts. “Still hurts, but it’s better. Head’s not pounding quite so bad.” He lifts his right arm and glares at the cast. “Fuck. I hate when I hurt my arms. Messes with my practice schedule for weeks.”

Suddenly every worry, every frustration Bucky’s had for the past twenty or so hours bubbles to the surface. “That’s what you’re worrying about? What the hell were you doing down there anyway, Barton? That area had been swept and cleared. None of those weird robots, no threats at all. And we were both on the same comm link. You knew as well as I did that the building was unstable. We were all warned away from there. What the hell came over you?”

Clint recoils a bit at the force of Bucky’s words, surprise on his face. “There was--”

“This had better not be an excuse.” Bucky’s voice is tight, cold. He’s not sure why everything’s coming out as anger.

Clint looks Bucky square in the eyes. “There was a kid down there. A little girl.”

“A kid.” It comes out of Bucky in a whoosh, like he’d been punched in the gut. “Is she...did you save her?”

And then Clint has the nerve to fucking grin. “Look at me, Barnes. I used my body to shield a kid from a falling wall. Pretty sure I’d look better than this if I’d just let her get hurt.” Seeing Bucky’s glare, he softens his look and his tone. “She’s fine. I took the brunt of the debris. She had a few scrapes, and I may have bruised her when I grabbed her and braced myself over top of her, but she was okay enough to run for help after everything finished falling. Though she may have just gone home, she was plenty scared. She was only nine or ten. What was she doing out on that street alone anyway?” He stares somewhere past Bucky’s shoulder, lost in thought.

“Barton!” Clint’s eyes snap back to Bucky’s. “Have you lost your damn mind? You jumped in front of a falling building. You could have died!” Bucky doesn’t understand why he’s so angry, why he’s yelling at Clint for saving a child’s life. Of course it had been the right thing to do. But still he keeps going. “Did you think at all? Did you even consider--”

He sees Clint’s eyes then, surprised and hurt and confused.

And then he can’t be confined in the hospital room any longer. There’s nothing to say to salvage the mess he’s made, so he just closes his mouth and storms out.

*

Clint spends the rest of the day trying to sweet-talk the nurses into letting him leave. Unfortunately, after all his escape attempts, successful and otherwise, they’re on alert and immune to his charms. They bring him a crutch when he needs the bathroom but are careful to take it when they leave, and he’s not getting far on a broken ankle. Not without help.

So when Steve shows up after dinner he thinks maybe his white knight has arrived. He grins and says, “You here to bust me out of here?”

“Sorry,” Steve says. “I brought you coffee, though.”

“Coffee,” Clint says, holding the cup under his nose and breathing in the scent. Those are not tears in his eyes. His eyes are watering from the steam.

They sit together for a few minutes, the only sounds the soft noises of the hospital machines and Clint sipping his coffee. After a bit Steve says, “He didn’t leave this room the whole time you were unconscious.”

Clint doesn’t say anything.

“He says it was because Natasha asked him to watch your back, that she would have stayed if she’d been here.” He gives Clint a long look. “I don’t think that was it, though. At least, not entirely.”

Still Clint just waits, unsure what Steve is getting at.

“You really scared him,” Steve says. “More than he expected. More than he understands.”

Clint swallows.

Steve looks at him, his gaze level. “Do you understand?”

“Yeah,” Clint says. His voice is unexpectedly rough. “Yeah, I think I do.”

Relaxing a bit, Steve says, “Good.” Then he smiles conspiratorially. “Wanna get out of here?”

*

When Bucky hears the knock he glares at the door. “Go away, Stevie,” he growls. “I’m not in the mood for your lecture. I’m not going back down to medical and nothing you say will change my--”

Even though he tells him to go away, he opens the door. Because it’s Steve, and they’ve been friends for too long.

Only it’s not Steve standing outside the door. It’s Clint.

So he trails off mid-thought, and finishes the only way he possibly can. “Fuck.”

And there’s that grin again. “I thought maybe we could just talk,” Clint says. “And maybe I could sit down? I snuck out of medical--”

“Again? Dammit Barton--”

“Don’t start yelling at me again, Barnes. Just let me in and give me a place to sit. And maybe some coffee?”

Bucky makes a show of looking at the clock on the wall. “It’s almost eight at night. I am not giving you caffeine.”

The face Clint makes almost changes Bucky’s mind. Almost. Instead he says, “Water. Or juice.”

Clint makes another tragic face, but says, “Water please.”

Bucky turns and walks into the apartment. After two steps he hears a crash behind him.

Clint is a tumbled mess on the floor just inside the doorway. “A little help?” He looks up at Bucky, a smile on his lips but pain in his eyes. “When Steve busted me out he forgot the crutches.”

Laugh or scream? Honestly, it could go either way.

Instead, Bucky growls, “You should be in that hospital bed.” But he belies his words by gently scooping Clint into his arms.

“Hey, I can walk,” he squawks.

“Yeah, you did real well with that. Just shut up and let me carry you.”

He shuts up.

After Bucky deposits Clint (softly, even though part of him wants to drop him, because he fucking deserves it) on the sofa he goes to the kitchen for some water. When he comes back Clint is smiling at him--that laid back, easy smile--and Bucky nearly dumps the contents of both glasses onto his smiling face. But again he controls himself, and silently hands Clint his glass. Clint takes a drink, dramatically sighs at the “not coffee-ness” of the water, then looks up at Bucky.

“Aren’t you going to sit down? My neck is going to hurt worse than it already does if I have to look up at you looming over me.”

Bucky sits down on the far end of the sofa. “You should still be in medical,” he says.

“You’ve already made your feelings on that pretty clear,” Clint says. “But Steve and I thought this was more important.”

“Steve. Always meddling,” Bucky mutters.

“Sounds like Nat,” Clint says. Bucky can’t tell if he’s laughing or commiserating.

There is about a minute of uncomfortable silence. Uncomfortable on Bucky’s end, anyway. He won’t even let himself look at Clint. He doesn’t want to start yelling at him again. Yelling at him when he wants to be…

But that’s the problem. He’s too muddled around those clear, bright eyes that see so sharply and that always smiling mouth and…

Oh.

And then Clint interrupts his racing thoughts. “Steve told me--” He stops, abruptly. “No, that’s not what I want to say. Can I start over?”

“Yeah,” he says, his voice broken and strained.

“I’m always gonna jump in front of a wall to save a kid. Or anyone who needs saving, really. It’s what I do. It’s what you do too, right?”

Bucky grunts. He wants to say that he’s got accelerated healing and other enhancements, but he knows this isn’t the time. He just listens.

“But...maybe next time I’ll call for backup first. Or at least call in to let everyone know what’s going on. If, ah, if there’s someone on the other end who wants to know.”

His mouth suddenly dry, Bucky takes a drink of his water before trying to speak. “There is,” he says. He finally lets himself look at Clint. The easy grin is gone, replaced by a look so open and genuine it almost frightens Bucky.

“I didn’t realize,” Clint says.

“Neither did I,” says Bucky.

Without taking his eyes from Clint’s, Bucky takes both glasses and puts them on the coffee table.

He scoots across the sofa, angled towards Clint, close enough that they’re almost touching.

“The first time you woke up, when you were really gone on painkillers, you told me I have pretty eyes.”

Clint reaches up with his not-injured arm and tucks Bucky’s hair behind his ear. “You do. I don’t remember saying it before, but you do.” His hand continues on through Bucky’s hair, and he grips the back of Bucky’s head, pulling him closer. When their mouths are just a breath apart, he says, “Okay, Buck?”

Bucky’s brain, his body, his every nerve ending, is screaming yes. His traitor mouth says, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

And then Clint is laughing again, and Bucky is falling. Not physically--his body is still on the sofa--but his heart flips over and his stomach lurches and he knows before their lips even touch that he is well and truly gone for Clint Barton. “I don’t remember injuring my mouth, Bucky. We’ll just have to save anything more strenuous for later.” And then he fucking winks. But before Bucky can say anything about it their mouths are pressed together and every other thought disappears, because oh, this is what he’s been missing.

[abripikuunah]

Thalassophile

Pairing: Odazai (Oda Sakunosuke x Dazai Osamu) || Word Count: 5201 || Rating: Teen and Up (Imply Suicide, Light Angst, Fluff)

A/N: My first submission for Odazai Week! Day 3 ( Gakuen Au ) !!!!This has illustations so I hope you would like this gift of mine!  Comments and Criticism is very much appreciated and I want to here your thoughts! I hope you have enjoyed this fic <3.

Summary:

The footprints in the sand carries the existence of our adored past, but the waves full of painful memories has swept it all away...

Only the moon and the starless sky was present that time.

It was cold, so cold that the temperature feel like it was squeezing him, from his flesh reaching through his nerves and bones, leaving him breathless, but it felt right.

Water fills his insides as he let himself drown in the salty water. His hazy eyes watched the light of the moonlight reflect on the sea, imitating a barrier between his pathetic life and the afterlife he desired. He's so close to it, as he could feel the corner of his sight blurring. His insides are screaming in the burning sensation as they're about to be filled with ice prickling water.

So cold, very cold.

Just how it should be.

He closes his eyes, and let the flash of white overcome him and his senses.

But before that happens, a certain red stained all of it.

 “Oh…”

.

.

.

THUD!

That’s the last thing he heard before his vision was turned into complete darkness. He didn't know what happened after that. There's nothing to see, nothing to hear, just blankness. Had death finally consumed him whole, and threw him away from his miserable life?

No… that felt too cheap.

He isn’t sure where he is today, but the next thing he knew, he was staring upward at a white ceiling with a fan rotating to circulate fresh air.

‘I’m not dead.’

“Hey.” A voice calls from behind him.

He looks at the corner of his eye to see his company, just to make sure his guess was right. Red eyes that resembled the warm hues of the sunset in some sky; it felt so warm and comforting. Its radiance was soft, as if those eyes could relax Dazai just by looking at him. The two kept staring at each other, as Dazai smiles while turning his head, twisting his body for a bit before greeting back, “Hey-” Only to feel a sharp pain pricked somewhere in his brain  “Ow, ow it hurts…” The brunet mumbled, massaging his temples.

“Careful. What happened almost caused you to get paralyzed.” The other man sighs as he inserts a bookmark in the book and scooted closer to inspect the injured man. Dazai gave out a chuckle and was about to retort to assure the man he's alright, but his breath was caught in the air when he felt a thumb caressing his unbandaged cheek. He bit his lower lip before they hesitantly turned upward into a faint smile. “I'm fine, Odasaku. Of all people, you should be the one who knows that a mere slip wouldn't kill me.”

The red head looks at him with disbelief, “You never know Dazai.“ he says, his voice bold and strict. The younger man frowned at him, much like a toddler whose toy was taken. But can you blame Oda? Dazai might have survived all the punishments of his past mishaps or attempts, but in the end Dazai is still a human, born with flesh and bones just like the rest of them. Not immortal nor a being that could regenerate his wounds quickly. Granted, his body does have an impressive remark on healing himself for such a surprising speed but there would always be the time Dazai won't be so lucky.

“Geez Odasaku, I told you, I’m fine and as you can see, I'm well.” he opened his arms widely for emphasis, but was only given a raise of a brow in reply. “Though my heads hurts a little- but my body can manage.” A grin was etched on his face to assure his companion, and Dazai quickly changed the subject. “Getting gloomy when I just woke up, no? Let talk about something else shall we?” He then points at the hardcover book Oda was holding, “All those books that you've been reading, are they for your upcoming program?” He inspects the title as the red head nods. “My, you seemed excited to become a teacher~”

“Student teacher.” He corrects the brunet who sits up, “It'll just last two months. Starting from the second half of the semester until the last week of your third quarter. After that I'll go back to college and finish my degree.” Oda adds.

“Wahh!” Dazai immediately twisted away to raise his arm to cover his eyelids and make a dramatic fuss, ”Odasaku will leave me alone and rot at campus all by myself. So heartless and cruel of you, leaving your dear friend and lover like this.This pain is much worse than being tortured to sweet, blissful death-”

And he let out another exaggerated cry when a throb pulsed through his head.

The older could only watch the younger complain about his concussion without giving any help - until he decided to hold on Dazai's chin so he could reprimand him with a stern glare, “Maybe if you didn't keep yourself getting injured. We’re both college students attending the same campus now.”

Dazai opened his mouth, ready to protest, but when no words are able to form to escape his mouth, he immediately closes it before puffing his cheeks and shot back, “So mean,  Odasaku-sensei.”

That phrase causes butterflies in Oda’s stomach, but he doesn't want to cater to those thoughts for now. He gently pinches Dazai's cheek, who whines in protest. “Don't call me like that when we're both alone.” Despite the warning, Dazai gripped Oda's hand and smirked mischievously, “What was that, Odasaku- sen~sei~?”

Oda pinches a bit harder and Dazai yelps, “What am I gonna do with you?” the older sighs.

When he stops pinching, they stare into each other’s eyes. Dazai's pupils traced every feature of his partners face looking for slightest bits of changes other than the heavy eyebags that took toll on his skin - probably for staying up to check on him, Dazai deducts. But that mere thought gave a fluttering feeling in Dazai's chest.

At the same time, Oda just gazed at him tenderly, but noticed a little bit of redness in younger man’s cheek. Oda takes the initiative and leans towards Dazai's face to give a chaste peck on his crimson skin as an apology. When he pulls away, Dazai sits up properly and snakes his arms around Oda's neck while the latter placed the book on the nearest coffee table and lets the brunet take the initiative. Dazai then tries to catch his lips and soon after, their lips connect and share a innocent kiss, hopefully to express the words ‘I miss you’ and ‘I'm so worried’ through the contact. Dazai tilts his head to coax himself closer -

That is, until another pulse from his migraine hit him. He quickly pulled away, yelping a little while massaging the sides of his temples to relieve the pressure a little. “Rest for a bit, Dazai.” Oda instructs as he let out a deep exhale, “I'll let the doctor know you're awake.” He stands up, only for a hand to grab his wrist.

“Stay for a bit will you? “ the brunet pouts. “I don't know how long I was unconscious and I don't want to see the doctors immediately after I just woke up from that cold, soundless sleep.” He gently adjusted himself to the side, careful not to trigger anymore pain and extended his arm out, “Come here and snuggle with me, Sensei!”

“Stop that.”

“Never~” Dazai continued to tease.

Then Oda gave another glare down at the floor and was silent, but Dazai shyly looked up at him like a stray kitten.

“Please?”

Oda huffs in amusement as he shook his head. Honestly speaking, Oda doesn't have the will to refuse his lover, even if he didn't have to put up that adorable act. “Fine.” he declares as he walks back towards the brunet who smiles in victory.

“Okay but after ten minutes, I'll call the doctor.”

“An hour!”

“Dazai… Twenty minutes or I won’t make curry for you.” Oda argues.

“Ehhhh?! Fine.” He scoffs childishly.

When he walked towards the brunet, Dazai asks “That look on your face… Did I worry you too much?” he smiled as he watched Oda sit on the bed, the bedframe underneath squeaking in protest. When Oda’s weight sinks in the mattress, he helped Dazai settle in next to him, careful not to bump the syringes and pads connecting Dazai to the heart monitor and IV tube. Lanky arms wrap around Oda’s chest while the redhead gripped Dazai’s hips and pulled his body closer. Dazai sighed with bliss as he let his head rest on Oda’s chest. “See? I'm still warm Odasaku. I'm still breathing, alive. You don't have to worry.”

“Well you did fell on the stairs four steps away from the ground.” His companion says in defense, resting his cheek on Dazai's hair. “That alone is concerning and you can risk yourself bumping your head pretty hard and having an internal hemorrhage. Thankfully you didn’t break your spine either, since-”

“Odasaku,” the brunet stops him, “How many times do I need to tell you that I won't die that easily? Geez, a mere trip down the stairs is an embarrassing death after all. I don't want the neighbors to brand me, Dazai Osamu, the bandaged man that died because he fell of the stairs. I would be the laughing stock of the century if that happens!” He huffs, grimacing at the thought. “I would rather have a sweet romantic suicide with a beautiful lady. That alone is poetic.”

Dazai really likes to slip words in his tounge like water without thinking any consideration, Oda thought with a grimace on his face. Despite Oda getting used to hear his whims about suicide and tantalized about death accepting him from this ‘miserable cruel’ world, Oda can't shake off the thought of seeing Dazai in his deathbed. Even with spending much of his time lecturing the young man, the words coming from the third year’s mouth stings painfully in Oda’s chest.

But despite it all, he still continues to be with him, willingly to check up on him and make sure he's not alone because-

Because he loves Dazai.

“I'm just scared to lose you…” he finally admits under his breath.

“Not like last time...”

None of them uttered out a word after, Oda was only waiting for Dazai's reply, wanting to know how he would react, but knowing Dazai, he won't show anything at all. Dazai's breath was stuck in the air, unable to reply to his confession. He's glad that Oda cannot see his expression at this angle or he would probably jerk away from him if this man had witnessed the redness of his ashamed face. When he felt the grip on his waist tighten, he scooted closer and hid his face in Oda’s chest. “Heh, silly Odasaku…”

They continued to stay like that for minutes, Oda keeps stroking the fringes of his hair, Dazai keep listening to Oda's heartbeats pounding, thump thumping in his ears. They chatted about him being unconscious for two days, then onto the news that's happening in their neighborhood. The middle school graduates, including Nakajima and Tanizaki, were becoming first years and they would soon be Dazai's schoolmates. The other piece of news they discussed is that Kunikida, one of Dazai's ex-classmates, was offered a student teacher position at Dazai’s school by none other than Fukuzawa himself. But the big news they talked about was-

“What?!” Dazai exclaimed.

Oda had to live at his university for a whole semester - and to make matters worse, he was going to be leaving tomorrow. “Just how? The semester doesn’t start for another week or so, right? I thought you're okay with commuting?”

“It was sudden, but Natsume-sensei offered me to stay at his place for the time being since he thinks it'll be more practical and I would lose a lot of opportunities just by traveling everyday for a long period of time.” he kissed Dazai's cheek to lighten up his mood and assure him. “I'll be back next month. Don't worry.”

“Hmph, fine. But you better bring me something when you return back home.”

Home…

Those words make Oda chuckle as adoration bubbled up his chest, “Will do, Dazai.” As his lips pressed against his forehead.

This continued on until Dazai looks out the window and sees the view of the ocean from afar. A thought came into his mind, but Dazai hesitates if he should even mention it. But then again, this would be the last day the two of them would see each other until three whole months passed.

“Odasaku.”

So it doesn't hurt to try.

“You know, I made you worry for no good reason.” He starts, shifting from his position to meet his lover’s gaze. Oda looks at him with a brow raised. He smirks, “As an apology, I'll be doing you the favor of going to the beach with me. I think I’ll get discharged today anyway, since I think I'm a good shape now. It's been a while since we visited there together, what do you think?”

The older blinks at his partner’s invitation and looks at the ceiling to ponder. “Well…”

“Beside, I won't see you in months.” He adds, hoping to finally be able to convince the man besides him.

The redhead took a deep breath. He seems to be contemplating with his thoughts while Dazai waited for a reply, but then he felt Oda pulling away from his grasp. Oda stands up and fixes the collar of his shirt, “I'll go fetch the doctor then. I'll be back quick.” he turns around and gave a small tilt to check on Dazai, who just smiles.

“Hurry up then, while the sun is still up.”

----

Only the moon and the starless sky was present that time.

It was cold, so cold that the temperature feel like it was squeezing him, from his flesh reaching through his nerves and bones, leaving him breathless, but it felt right.

Water fills his insides as he let himself drown in the salty water. His hazy eyes watched the light of the moonlight reflect on the sea, imitating a barrier between his pathetic life and the afterlife he desired. He's so close to it, as he could feel the corner of his sight blurring. His insides are screaming in the burning sensation as they're about to be filled with ice prickling water.

So cold, very cold.

Just how it should be.

He closes his eyes, and let the flash of white overcome him and his senses.

But before that happens, a certain red stained all of it.

---

Scarlet eyes worriedly trailed behind the lean figure as Oda watched the boy excitedly take of his shoes while examining the beach. Fortunately, the doctor said Dazai was free to leave, but has to be cautious, not move his head so much, and not perform any heavy activities for quite awhile. “Be careful.“ he reminded the exuberant Dazai.

But his words seems to be ignored in the playful breeze as Dazai turns around, waving at Oda and shouting “Odasakuuuu!” before running back to him and yanking his arm to invite themselves closer to the sea. “Come on! You can't have me just enjoying the sea by myself! I would look stupid.”

“But the doctors said that you're not allowed to move your head too much-” he was interrupted when a finger was pressed against his lips.

“Oh hush and do me a favor by not reminding me about those cruel instructions by that doctor, and let me enjoy this last day of summer with you for a bit, okay?” Dazai fumed, but when he notice the darkness of Oda’s expression, his face shifted into worry.

Oda… Oda wanted to say no, the anxiety that's pounding inside his chest was demanding for him to decline and be strict. He wished to say he's already being considerate, escorting him to the beach despite these disturbing emotions that crawling up his spine. Yet he doesn't want Dazai to be upset, but in the end, he was afraid of both outcomes. He thought of himself as nothing but a coward.

A coward that let those horrible memories of the two of them being wrapped by the ocean’s deadly embrace be the sole reason behind why he’s scared to visit the place they used to favor so dearly.

Dazai, the genius that he is, seems to read the toll on his mind. So his expression softened, “Hey.” He calls out to Oda, who blinks and then stares toward him in acknowledgement. “I told you, this is my apology for falling down the stairs, so I promise I won't do anything stupid or do things that will make you even more worried, alright?” He smiles, brown eyes softly gazing at his partner.

The older man studies Dazai before he finally tilts his head down in defeat just by seeing those big eyes, as stubborn as they were soft. “Fine.” He saids before adding, “But if I see any small signs that you’re getting worse, we'll go home immediately.”

Dazai's mouth forms a grin of agreement and continues to drag his boyfriend along the shore. Oda watched Dazai - his face beams in delight, so bright and cheerful, but is he feeling happiness in his heart right now? Is he truly happy? He doesn't want to ask, but he wants to believe it. And if it was reality, then Oda wishes for him to hold unto those emotions till the very end.

The shore is where they're free, like the birds that flew away from the depressing earth and bathed in the warm glow of the radiant sun. This feeling of warmth and freedom is what he missed years ago.

Until that tale of a boy whose blood spilled over the shore would never leave his mind, no matter how hard he tried. In the end, those tales would only lead him to break.

But he wants to throw it all over the edge of the horizon and let him forget the uneasiness in his chest. The echoing reverie to see Dazai smiling again caused determination to well up inside him. If he could treasure and let that smile last, where his skin radiates brighter than the sun, those chocolate eyes that twinkled like the liquid gems of the sea, then Oda would do his damndest to suppress the dark memories and his overall agitation that has been mocking him.

A quiet smile etched up in Oda's usual expressionless face as he cherished the moment.

When they're close to the ocean water, the brunet lets go of Oda's arm, scoops a handful of water and throws it towards his companion.

“H-hey!”

Dazai lets out a childish giggle from seeing Oda glare at him.  Rolling his eyes, he starts to take off his shoes and decides to play along with the younger’s antics. “So you want to play it that way, huh?” He lets his voice sound murky and dark, like an overly dramatic villain.

“Uh oh. Sensei’s getting mad.” Dazai teased as he moved away urgently from Oda’s impending wrath. When Oda finally placed his shoes and socks on the beach, along with Dazai’s necessities, away from the ocean’s reach, he followed his partner with a smirk on his face. “Are you testing me?”

“And what if I am?” Dazai grinned, “Bring me your best shot Odasaku!”

Then Oda rushed towards Dazai, pulling him close in a tight embrace as their laughs echoed across the neverending sea.

------

His throat hurt, desperate as he gasped for air…

It feels so hard to breathe, his lungs are burning, it all felt dry.

He hears someone screaming, shouting, calling, its voice clawing deep in the night, but he doesn't realize who and why.

But when scarlet red was stained in his palm that has slowly been seeping away towards the water, a sign of a promising fate that would end in tragedy, he knew why.

It was his own bruised throat and no one else but himself who has been screaming underneath the dark night.

And the whole village were able hear the mournful screams of Oda Sakunosuke as he desperately tried to save Dazai Osamu, the boy whose blood was spilled in the never ending sea.

------

Eventually, darkness came and the moon has replaced the sun, soft light reflecting off the sparkling water of the ocean. The breeze was chilly as it softly caressed their skin that was still damp with the ocean water. Their fingers are laced while their bare feet sink into the sand as they walked around the shore.

They quietly talked about small things, between hushed voices and whispers, their fingers playing with each other as their conversation leads them nowhere in particular. They let themselves be steered away from the cruel reminder of time’s existence, away from reality, just away from everything to forget the burden in their outside worlds. They revelled in the normalcy as young adults who just wanted to be together, and enjoy each other’s presence.

But now that it's dark, it feels like they're slowly breaking away from their own illusions.

So they talked and talked as if tomorrow would never come.

Until they finally have nothing to say to each other anymore, and only the rushing water singing a soft melody to accompany the evening air could be heard. Their arms are close as if they could feel each other's pulse, both are alive and well. Dazai watches the waves reaching towards them, occasionally kicking the salty liquid half-heartedly for amusement, while Oda's eyes travels at him. Both men are buried their own thoughts.

If Oda wants to guess what's going inside Dazai's mind, it would probably be about his fascination about suicide.

Drowning is the method he always favored, Oda know this, it pains him to say it but he has witnessed it many times before. Dazai told him that whenever he sees the beach, it feels like an open gate for him to escape his way to escape reality. The place where he looks upon to to let his thoughts be free within the wind and a place where he can enjoy himself.

A place where he would marry death.

Oda blinks for a moment as they halt their movements, none of them utter a single word but Oda stared at Dazai expectantly. The brunet eyes however, despite uninterested, traveled towards the cliff making Oda followed his direction of sight.

Oda would admit that there was something that always worried him about Dazai. Dazai’s mind was so sharp and intelligent, far more than was good for his sake, and it reminded him of a cliff towering over the sea, enticing humans to explore it but like a promising death and despair should they make one false move, even if it was to turn back and flee. Breaking the wild silence, Dazai finally mutters, "It's been eight years since we both visited here, no?" Oda was only able to hum in reply. "Eight years..." He repeats, as if he trying to properly taste of those words in his mouth. Before the older has the chance to interrupt, the other continues to speak, "Since then, everyone treated me differently. People started to be distant. They're always worried, they think that I could blame them. Though I'm not sorry, either. After all, even I wanted to be distant away from myself." 'Away from this world...' It was unspoken but nevertheless, Oda can hear it out loud in the heavy air. "Dazai-"

He interjects with a small voice, "But you..." He pauses, biting his lip until he was able to form the proper words , "You treated me the same. You always gave me normalcy, no matter what." “Despite this disturbing tendencies of mine, you still accept me as who I am.” But then, Dazai turned his head and faced him as he gave an unpleasant stare, almost starring past Oda. "If I wanted to be honest Odasaku, I want to read all the pages of your book to understand." Oda felt his fingers were gripped tightly as if they would slip in mere seconds away in his grasp the moment it loosens.

“What don't you understand?” He asked, rubbing his calloused thumb at Dazai's to provide comfort, gesturing him to tell his thoughts out and not to be afraid to speak the truth.

“I…” His voice trails off. Eyes watching their laced fingers for an encouragement.

“You still kept seeing it right? That moment where I almost died.” he breathed out.

Oda will always remember, he will never forget how terrified he is to see Dazai in the bed, heart weakly beating, skin colder and whiter than the snow of winter. How everyday it pains him to see that time, when his life was held by a single thread, ready to snap both Dazai's life and Oda's sanity.

Dazai's eyes looked deeply into his, searching for a sign if he should stop or not. Oda doesn't speak but he nod to beckon the younger to continue.

“Since then, you hated going here because you always remembered, and despite knowing that, I was still selfish and asked you to go with the beach with me. And you made an effort to grant this wish of mine and went along.” He breathed out as he finally asks.

“How do you do it?”

He was gazing so deep into Oda's eyes, that he flinched for a bit when he felt a warm hand stroke his cheek and brush the hair on his face. He really doesn't understand why; it was so foreign, so new no matter how many time he did that. Regardless, it was still comforting and serene.

Oda glances down before he looks back at him again and gave out a small smile. “We are all humans. All born with our own flaws and our selfishness. I don't want to sound like a hypocrite, but whatever selfishness and flaws you have, it still adds the fact that it made you the Dazai Osamu I fell in love with.” He admits.

Dazai pretended not to be flustered but the redness of his cheeks betrayed him until Oda casually added, “For me, one of my selfish desires is to see you smile and grant the promise I made.”

His eyes widen, mouth hanging, If the brunet's face was dusted with red before, then his face right now is almost at a tint of a tomato.

“Seeing you happy today is enough for me.” Oda continues, leaving Dazai breathless. It wasn’t the first not going to be the last, but...

Never once can a person leave the garrulous Dazai hanging wordless. He cannot think of any befitting words to shoot back at his lover. But he still felt obligated to continue the conversation. In the end, after what felt like an eternity, he was only able to say

“Thank you.”

The voice was low and faint but the wind managed to carry it to Oda’s ears.

“I had fun today.” Dazai murmured, after having the courage met those scarlet eyes once more with his, a sincere smile etched in his face as the dimples pops out of his cheek to signify how genuine his expression is. “And I'm glad you have as well.”

Oda can can feel the tip of his ears burning and was only able to pat Dazai in the head. “I'm glad. After all, anything we do together is fun.”

Dazai huffed out a breath and forged a knowing smirk, “Not as fun as yourself.” He reciprocated.

Oda was only able to raise a brow out of confusion, not knowing what he meant as the other could only laugh in delight. Dazai pinched Oda's nose while the latter grunted in protest.

After rubbing his nose, Oda noticed the full moon staring up at the sky. Dazai followed his gaze and mumbled, “Time really flies fast, huh. It feels like yesterday we were just kids playing here with Ango, and I just woke up a minute ago from being unconscious. But the reality is, many years have already passed since then.”

Oda can only hums in concordance. “It's getting late.” He finally reminds Dazai and himself about the unfortunate reality of the world they live in. “It's time to go home.” He sighs as he watched Dazai groaning in disapproval.

“I don't wannaaa.” He whined, eyes begging for consideration from Oda. He clings on the Oda’s arm and continues protesting. “Besides, where Oda is is my home.” He declares but after a few seconds of a starting match with his boyfriend, he finally, reluctantly, agrees.

“Come on. Let's go at your place and get you showered.” Oda then walks, escorting Dazai towards the exit where the main street is. The prodigy walks in tow, a mischievous smile on his face.  “Aww, then why not we shower together so you can warm me up?” His voice tingles with a certain promise.

Oda, however, chuckles at the sly suggestion, “That is nice, but I have something else in mind”

“Oh?” Dazai eyes glistened with curiosity. He leans toward Oda's shoulder and pressed his cheek against it affectionately, “This better be interesting since you're able to turn down such an offer. Tell me about it then.”

“Well.“ he paused, and looked around the beach so he could let the revelation of the surprise be dragged on longer. The brunet still saw through his own antics and kept nudging him to go on. Finally, Oda said, “While you're taking a shower, I would prepare a dish I just learned how to make a while ago.”

Dazai tilts his head for emphasis, “Oda will cook something for me! Does it have crab?”

“Crabmeat and Zucchini with Kofuki and homemade mochi.” He announced.

Excitement flashes on Dazai's face as he then took the lead, dragging Oda hurriedly behind him like a child, “Let's hurry then, I’m hungry - and snuggling can come after!”

Those words sowed warmth in Oda's chest.

To see Dazai's heart right now set in the right place, his mind not hidden away in the shadows where his demons kept whispering to him. To be able to witness his genuine smile and hold his now warm hand. It's enough to Oda. Even though he rarely, if ever, displays this sincerity to anyone else, if he kept holding his hand and let him know his presence will always remain there, to encourage him and support him, then maybe he would finally fully open up to them.

They might be back to reality now, where the complicated system of life and all its problems would never change. But there would be a time where they have nowhere else to go but wander aimlessly. Regardless of what life brought them, they will face it nonetheless and survive through the cruel seasons. They will hold each other close and take each other's hand and never let go.

After all, that's their oath towards each other.

--

‘Even if you will drown in your own abyss that will consume you alive… take my hand’

In a small little ward, a young boy vowed a pledge to a dear friend of his, who looks at him with hollow eyes.

‘But what if I don't take it? What if it's all too late?’ He asked, studying his redhead companion carefully. The redhead suddenly grabs his hands, and without hesitation he declared-

‘Then I'll catch you in my arms and won't let you go.’

…

It was a memory that they would forever hold.

For once, light was evident to the young patient’s eyes. For once, he didn't feel alone. For once, he had seen the faint ray of the light . For once, the boy who accepted that he would never be loved believed a promise.

A promise to hold him .

And Oda will stay true to his words, and he will never let go.

Not now...

Not ever.

.

.

.

Sadly though, their paths followed the unpredictable ebb and flow of the stormy waves of life.  

And the only certain things within life is the bittersweet endings and broken promises.

-THE END-

[raph8sblog]

💕Dreaming Of You 💕Part IV.

The flashing red and blue lights, the loud noises and the uncomfortable darkness, where you couldn’t see properly and you couldn’t speak or move. When you regained your conscious you were laying on the hospital bed. The bed was framed with white curtains. Memories flashing back in your mind, like a never ending story, all over again, about your attacker, you tried to memorize the shape of her face but you forgot everything when you felt down from the stairs. What happened then? You don’t remember anyting, you looked down on your arms, both of them were covered with white gauze, then you felt a sharp pain in your head, you furrowed your eyebrows. “Was it serious?” - you wondered, when a picture of your bood clovered hands crossed your mind. 

- Miss Y/N, are you awake now? - a doctor came in through the curtains. He held your hospital card. 

- You injured your head badly, but thankfully you had a light concussion. How do you feel yourself? We should keep you in the hospital, till the remaining medical examinations. 

- Ah, I see... What about the attacker? Where is she? - you asked, because it was the only thing that mattered. 

- I don’t know nothing about this miss. The police will arrive soon, shall I call them that you are awake? - you nodded. 

- Also, you have some visitors. - your eyes widened: 

- Visitors? - you repeated. Before the doctor could reply, Jisung pulled apart the courtains and dramatically pulled you in his arms, he was still sobbing: 

- Y/N I’m so sorry about what happened! This is all, our fault!!! 

- Ouch, Han.... This is hurting me right now! - you said and gently pushed him away: 

- I will take you on a date, when you are released from the hospital, okay? We will eat ice cream and go to the riverside!! Lee Know can join us as well, if he is behave until then! 

- Don’t count me in! I have to spend some quality time with my cats as well! You can come over Y/N if you want, my cats are can’t wait to meet with you! - you were blinking rapidly, try to process how kind they were actually with you. 

- Stop it guys, just let her rest a little bit. The police is after the attacker. - Chan spoke up and suddenly the room became quiet again, then you realized Felix and Hyunjin wasn’t there. 

- This is a relief Chris. Still.... I’m confused, I try to remember her appareance but I forgot everything. One thing for sure, she is obsessed with Felix... Maybe I really spent too much time with him! 

- He is your best friend, you shouldn’t blame yourself! - you glanced at Changbin with thankful smile: 

- Yes, I guess you are right. 

- To be honest, it was shocking, we even heard about you in the news as well! - Seungmin added.

- You all came here... I’m so happy. 

- We couldn’t reach Felix tho, he is acting strange lately... 

- Seungmin is right, he is hidding something... At first, Hyunjin said that maybe you two are dating but c’mon Y/N you have a better taste than that! - uhh sorry Changbin, you knew it as well that you chossed the wrong person, now it’s just became even clearer for you. To be honest, it’s still hurt you a little bit, he was with Mia for sure if he is not picking up his phone. 

- Noona!!!! - Jeongin came in, like a tornado, with a bouqet of flowers in his hand, his eyes were red from crying. He kneeled down beside your bed, like a knight in a shining armour. The others tried not to laugh at loud at his actions, the nurses were also whispering about how cute is him: 

- Woah, you really bought this I.N, how generous... You are just like a real little brother! - at your words, everyone started laughing, except Jeongin: 

- Noona, am I just a kid to you, right? Even after I saved you... - then, you suddenly remembered, the moment when you dialed his number: 

- Jeongin, don’t create fairytales! Hyunjin went into the building to save Y/N, you were crying outside! 

- Y/N!! - he looked at you with sadness in his eyes: 

- Don’t believe him! Changbin Hyung is just jealous! - you really felt loved, when you were with them. But is it going to be same, when your friendship with Felix is  so fragile? Speaking of the devil, he showed up out of the blue and for a moment you smile of hope spread across your lips, but when you saw he wasn’t alone the words are got caught up in your throat. 

Mia.... He was with her, without any excuses, without any denial. She was just like, how you imagined her. The beautiful raven hair, cute rosey lips and delicate pale skin, like a real life porcelain doll, perfect in every detail. Tall and skinny, and there you are, wounded and covered with bandages. It was the last drop in the glass, because it really hit you, why you were in your current situation: 

- Felix and Mia? Why she is here with you? - Chan asked it first, with confusion in his voice. 

- Later, I will explain everything to you guys. Now, please let us be privately... Just the three of us. - they didn’t understand why it’s necessary for them to left your hospital room and the whole scene was more strange, thanks to the presence of Mia. How he is related to you? 

When they left, awkward silence engulfed the whole place, Mia called you in a shy voice, while she reahed out to your hand: 

- Thanks Y/N for protecting us. You are an amazing person, you sacrificied yourself for our happiness! - this girl is truly crazy? Maybe it’s better is she is not speaking and then she seems more clever. What are you a freaking punching bag? It’s really sounded like that. 

- She is right, thinking about how awful it can be, when the one that you love is in danger... The possibility that Mia will be in the same place as you was high, but thanks to that misunderstanding, we are safe from the people’s suspecting eyes. However my heart is aching for you dear Y/N. - Felix sounded like an idiot as well, what’s happening? Are you still in a coma? You hoped you are. 

- We wanted to make it offical, that we are dating, but maybe it’s way too dangerous now. After the sasaeng incident, it wouldn’t be a good idea. 

- Guys.... - you finally interrupted them, it’s time to speak up and protect yourself: 

- You two just really thanked me this?! I mean, I’ve got into this messed up thing because of your relationship drama Felix! And now you are thanking me? - you couldn’t believe it, all these years spent with adoration. You thought he is the love of your life and now you have to realize that he is selfish and the only thing he is care about is his girlfiend and her safety? When you are laying here, like a rock, with an aching wound on your head? 

- What if she hurts me more Felix?! What is she cuts my face with her knife?! You would be happy because it’s not happened with your girlfriend?! - at this point, tears were streaming down on your cheeks. But you just couldn’t care about it. Wasn’t that pathetic enough? This is the end of it: 

- It’s not what I meant Y/N! Of course I’m worried about you as well! I just... 

- No! - you shouted. 

- Just stop it and get out! Get out with your perfect face, with your perfect life, with your perfect idol girlfiend! Just get out from my life.... Forever.... 

- Y/N.... - Felix was lost in his words, you never acted like that before. 

- Are you serious? - he asked in disbelief. 

- I’ve never been more serious. I don’t want to see you again. - you said and it’s really sounded harsh, you wiped your eyes. 

- Y/N, don’t do this please... It’s not what I meant about it! 

- It’s absolutely sounded like that! And you know what? I don’t care what you meant by this, you are too blind to see my real feelings anyway. If you only know how does it feel like, but you won’t because you are living under a buble, where everyone is just so fucking pretty! Now, please get out.... - Mia was shocked, like  you could read her mind, she thinks that you hit your head too hard and now you gone nuts. Felix, maybe he is blaming your head injury as well, but he will see that you were dead serious. He just stood up from your bed and walked out, without a word and then, you just nodded, this is the answer that you’ve been waiting for, you had to do this. It was the right thing to do. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first week felt like an enternity after what happened between you and Felix. You missed his messages, you missed his voice, you missed him so bad it’s almost drove you crazy, but your prides was stronger this time. It was easy to get yourself busy with the tasks, you wanted to find a new rent as soon as possible and move out from the old one. You couldn’t live there after what happened with you? But the problem is, that since you stopped working in a shift, because of all the university tasks, you had absolutely no money at all... 

To be honest, you were a true introvert, living under the same roof with a room mate sounded impossible for your taste but after a while, you decided to make a change in your life. From now on, you will do everything to change your personality and born anew, like a real confident femme fatale. It wasn’t easy you had to take small steps, but maybe the first one should be a little bit more risky. That’s why you changed your plan and soon you found a girl, who was searching for a room mate. 

Because of the excitment that you felt, towards to the moving you weren’t thinking about Felix and Mia, nor the other members of Stray Kids. After, you cut every contact with him, it would be uncomfortable to keep in touch with the others. Also, you unfollowed every stz related page on your insta, because it was too painful to see how Felix looked more and more handsome with each passing day. You just needed time to clear your head, also you promised to yourself to make more friends at the uni and also move out more frequently. 

After one week, you were busy preparing for the exams, also you went out shopping to buy some new clothes for spring. Maybe, you spent too much money on clothes, even tho you couldn’t afford them at that moment. Still, you wanted to look little bit more stylish, you also made an appointment to a hair salon, a little change never hurt, after a mental breakdown. You also called the girl, who was searching for a housemate and asked her for a meeting. 

It was one day, before your last exam, at February when you met with her. She was truly unique to be honest! She came here from America as an exchange student, her name was Lexy and she was really cheerfull and lively. The complete opposite of you. A confident, super blonde and super pretty girl, who knew exactly how beautiful she was. Inspite of this she was still friendly and humble with you: 

- Y/N I can’t wait to live with you! You know, my previous housemate, was my boyfriend but he dumbed me so I threw out his stuffs! That’s why, you can decorate his old room in your stlye! I will help buy everything! - you chuckled at her words: 

- To be honest, I’m so happy that I found you on the real estate page! Really, I hope we will get along well! 

- I already like you Y/N! You seems so kind and adorable! When do you want to move in with me? 

- This weekend would be too soon? 

- No! Please do as you feel like it! - you nodded, you wanted to leave that place quickly it’s always reminded you of the saseang’s attack, also of Felix. It was torturing. 

A new chapter begun in your story, you were sure about that when you met with your new housemate. It was on Friday, when you packed all of your things in a cardboard box. You didn’t have much to carry, since you only brought the most essentials to Seoul, when you left your hometown.

You already got a key to the apartment, since Lexy had lectures till the afternoon and your day was absolutely free. When you entered the flat, a small living room greeted you, the walls are painted pastel pink, also all of the furnitures were pinkish and white, on the couch there were fluffy pillows and blankets. It was cozy, more cozy, than you imagined beforehead. From the living room, two door opened, one of the doors was decorated with colorful butterflies. It was Lexy’s room behind it and infront of that, yours was waiting for you to enter.. 

“Y/N finally, you started something, so do not freak out! It will be better from now on... The attacker won’t find you there, not even Felix, you are safe!” - you took a deep breath and opened the door. The room was almost empty, only a bed stood there and a cabinet, also a little writing desk. You started to organize your things and put your clothes on the cabinet’s shelf. Also, you played some music during the settling so you spent your first day in your new home comfortably, without any troubling or useless speculation. 

Around 7pm Lexy arrived as well, you were in the kitchen making noodles when she embraced you from the back. You almost dropped the chopsticks from your hand, it’s really startled you: 

- Congratulation Y/N for moving in!!! We should celebrate this! The night is young, let’s go out! - your stomach tightened at her idea. You were never the “going out” type of girl, you rather stayed at your quite home while all of your classmates went out for parties. 

- I’m not sure Lexy... I’ve never... - you wanted to make an excuse, but why? You really need to change yourself darn it! You have to make another big step, but maybe it was too early for you to take such a huge one. Then, when you found an acceptable answer for why you don’t want to go out tonight, you hear your phone buzzing, you looked than and saw Felix’s name. You only read the first part of his message, which started with the greatest line of mystification: I have to apologize Y/N... - as quikly as you could you deleted the message from your screen and glanced back to Lexy: 

- I changed my mind, I put on some makeup and let’s go out!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, that’s how you got into the first party of your life. It was an intense experience, since clubs are not made for you, the loud music, which makes your ears bleed and the place was so crowded you almost fainted. At least, you looked good: you wore a tight black dress, with a deep, red velvet jacket and you put on a lipstick with the exact same color.  Also for the first time, boys compliment you but it’s mabye doesn’t count because they were incredibly drunk. 

You sat down with your housmate at a more peaceful corner, she asked you to dance with her, but you had your limits when you were sober: 

- Then, let’s drink something! - she giggled and left you alone at the table, You sighed, the air felt too hot in this place, also the waltzing, flashing lights made you dizzy, even without drinking sip. 

- Here you are!! - Lexy brought two bottle of soju and poured you out one shout. You have never tasted soju, regardless of the fact that you came here, four months ago. 

- How does it taste? - you asked, but Lexy didn’t hear it, the music was too loud, she just waved and said: 

- It’s not that strong! - you rapidly emptied your glass. Woah, it was horrible! Your throat felt sore but Lexy already placed another shot infront of you: 

- Let’s drink till you have guts for dancing. - not for the dancing part, you just wanted to forget so you drank the second, and the third, and also the fourth as well. You placed your elbows on the table, trying to compose yourself, your vision was spinning at this point, you couldn’t think straight, you just wanted to check the message, what Felix sent to you. Lexy disappeared on the dance floor, and you felt sick sitting like that, beside the table so you slowly stood up and made your way to the rooftop. 

The scenery was breathtaking on this clear, and cold night, and every breath, you took felt amazing outside. You searched for your phone inside the jacket’s pocket, when you realized that you are not alone. Someone was standing there, nearly on the end of the rooftop. You approached this person, you weren’t sure why, maybe your almost drunk self wanted a little company? 

- Excuse me... - you mumbled and when he turned around, you swore your soul almost left your body! It was Hwang Hyunjin! Why, out of all people all around the world, why he was the one standing infront you? The fate played a dirty and a really unfair game with you. You covered your face.

 “Should I run?” 

- Y/N?! - he blurted out loudly after he removed his airpods. He was as suprised as you: 

- Why are you here?! - you asked. 

- The same goes for you! Are you followed me here?! 

- In your dreams, I would never follow you anywhere! - you answered. 

- I came here, with my housemate. 

- You moved out? - oh no, mabye it wasn’t a good idea to put it like that. 

- Yes... Do you want to tell my adress to a sasaeng again? - okay, you started to be a little bit harsh with him, but he deserved it. However, this time, he seemed a little bit different than his usual self. His face looked tired and somehow... sad? 

- I didn’t know your adress, how could I tell to anyone then? - awkward silence: 

- Look, I’m sorry for what happened. Okay? Let’s just forget about it please. 

- Hyunjin... - you were mean to him just a moment ago but now you remembered: when you woke up in the hospital, Changbin said that he was the one who rushed into the building for you and called the emergency. 

- I was stupid to brought this topic up... - he looked at you, his beatiful face still reflected pain and sorrow:

- How come you told Felix to never meet again? You did this....because of... Mia? - he mentioned her name in such a trembling tone. Your heart started to beat faster: 

- You were in love with him...I heard it in the hospital, to be honest I came there as well but I didn’t have any courage to go inside. I felt myself quilty, and I still do. It’s true that you are annoying with your shy and pathetic self pity attitude but I never wished this pain for you. - he knows about everything and you couldn’t deny it anymore. After all these years, it’s finally happened, someone knows about your secret now!!

- He didn’t even realize it! - you said, while big teardrops started to roll down on your cheeks.

- Felix told us that evening, that he is dating with Mia and asked everyone to keep his secret safe. We made a promise to him. - you gulped and you wiped your tears away with your sleevs: 

- I hope he will be happy with her... I should have told him about my feelings, now it’s to late, I lost him forever... - you admitted, still crying like a little girl, maybe the alcohol mixed with your feelings was more torturing than being sober. 

- I know how you feel. - Hyunjin said:

- I feel the same way... I should have told her. - with that, it’s became clear to you why he was standing there alone in the dark, without all the noise and flashing lights, he came here to forget as well...

- When I was a trainee. Mia was there too. She helped me with my dancing skills. I was too shy to tell her! I thought it’s obvious, and she will notice that I care about her and I cherish her! Just look at me Y/N! I’m damn gorgeus! - you almost laughed but you managed to keep it to yourself. 

- I mean, she could have me as well! Am I not good enough? Still, she choosed Felix... - fearing that he will be mad about it, you carefully reached out and place your hand on his shoulder: 

- Maybe, I’m not that gorgeus as you, but I truly cared about him and I was always by his side, when he needed me. But, we can’t do anything against it, love is not something, you are able to control. 

- It’s not fair, I just wanted to make her happy, why is have to be like this? I don’t even realized that they are dating behind my back. I feel so betrayed!

- I’m so sorry that you have to get through this. - you meant that because it was one of the worst feelings in the whole world. 

- What if I don’t accept this? - he asked, which made you blink in disbelief: 

- You hear me Y/N! What if we don’t accept this? What if we refuse it and make an attempt to change their mind? - are you dreaming this? Because it’s becoming a little bit absurd now: 

- Do you know some kind of which, who crafting love potions or what? 

- No! But, now that you mention it maybe we can find one as well! - you raised your eyebrows at him, he can’t be serious: 

- Let’s be real! I need to prove her, that she missed and amazing boyfriend! Also you need to prove Felix, that you are worthy enough to date him! We have to make them jealous! They have to scream out from jealousy! 

- Don’t say that you want to... 

- Exactly! Let’s play a little a game, shall we? 

[aono-art]

“Oh Love.”

Cheating Fic: Angst, PidgexLance, LancexAllura

@lavenderlady1999 is 50% to blame.

Part 3/4 Word Count:

Part 1 Part 2

Based on this song

A lot of self-reflection in this one, sorry if it’s boring!

(Sorry it took so long guys, but now I know how this puppy’s gonna end. No author’s not at the end, I wanted to keep up the suspense. You guys are mean! I got a lot of messages asking for part 3, so here ya go! I love you guys, sorry for the hiatus.)

(Because of Tumblr’s new system, you can’t find this fic in search because it has links. So because of this a reblog is greatly appreciated ;0;)

Lance patiently sat in the hospital examination room, which Allura had insisted he come to.

“Allura, c’mon. I’ve taken worse beatings--”

“Lance, you hit your head really hard! You need to be checked out for that...”

And now here they were. It was true though, even now he needed to lie back because his head was pounding. Matt had really done a number on him, but he couldn’t even be mad. She kept running through his mind, and in his concussed state he almost forgot what had happened between them.

“MATT!” Her voice had broken, and her brother looked at her-- shoulders going slack and his grip loosening. Lance couldn’t see Matt’s face, but he could see Pidge’s. Why is Pidge crying? He forgot where he was. The monitors kept beeping. My head hurts. Beep. Why did she look like that? Beep. Her hair... Beep. God I miss her. Beep. Ugh, wait no. Beep. You’re such an idiot. Beep. Where are they with my pain pills? Beep. You’re with Allura now! Beep. This is what you wanted!! Beep. You gave up EVERYTHING to be with HER. Beep. YOU RUINED, EVERYTHING! Beep.

“Fuck!” Lance yelled as he flew up from the pillow, hitting the wall with his fist. When the sharp pain in the back of his head combated his sudden movement he flew back down to the pillow, gritting his teeth and cursing more. It seemed all he could do was hold his head and feel sorry for himself. “Pidge...” The hands were gripping his forehead brushed against his cheeks, he realized he was crying for the first time since everything happened. He heard a knock at the door, snapping him back to reality.

“Um, hi Lance...” It was Allura, back with snacks from the vending machine. She looked apprehensive and worried. She tried to mask it with a smile. 

“Ah, hey Allura.” Lance moved to sit up slowly. “Whatcha got there?” He smiled at her, it felt forced. If Lance was being honest, this past week was one forced smile after the next. He tried to convince himself that it was the breakup, anyone wouldn’t be okay after that! But he noticed it coming out the most whenever Allura forced him to do things with her... as awful as that sounded. It ranged anywhere from going to important meetings with her and meeting important people-- to hanging out with her friends and shopping for groceries. Allura seemed to be worried about his diet, something he didn’t think needed to be changed. He missed he usual foods-- he was open to trying new things but refusing to let him buy his favorite cereal? That’s a bit much. Allura had even taken to dressing him, and for her sake he smiled through it. He liked it all at first, but at this point it was becoming tedious. Well, it’s a fresh relationship, it’s always like this in the beginning, he told himself. But the truth was, it wasn’t like that with Pidge. With Pidge, it was as easy as breathing. Dates were fun and refreshing, seeing the latest action/horror flick, going to the arcade, getting milkshakes at their favorite diner-- when was the last time they went to that diner?

And then there was moving in together, god he didn’t think he could be happier. He was tempted to propose to her that night-- something he still kinda of regretted not doing. The first thing they set up that night in their apartment? The TV and gaming system. Then, they ordered pizza and ate off of paper plates. And as they watched the sun go down playing Killbot Phantasm, Lance believed he was truly in love with her. Her hair was just beginning to grow out at the time, it was down to her shoulders, and he pointed it out.

“Ah, yeah, I’m thinking about trimming it again.” She laughed.

“What! Why? I bet it’s so pretty-- I like a girl with long hair.” Lance winked. She looked stunned for a moment before smiling and saying “okay, sure.”

Lance groaned... looking back, he recognized that smile. The same forced smile he’d been using with Allura whenever she tried to change something about him. He snapped back into reality when suddenly-- 

“Lance? Everything okay?” Allura looked at him, worry in her eyes, “Do I need to call the doctor--”

“No, no. I’m just...” Lance sighed. Allura looked down at the ground, biting her lip. 

“Listen, I think we should talk--” They said at the same time, both looking up in surprise. They couldn’t help but laugh, before falling into silence again.

“Allura... I’m sorry. I don’t think this is gonna work out between the two of us.” Lance said, his tired gaze looking up into hers. Surprisingly, relief washed over her face and she smiled again, not forced.

“Ah, Lance... Looks like we’re on the same page. I really like you, but... seeing Pidge today triggered something in me...” She said thoughtfully, her voice gentle.

“Ha! Me too...” Lance smiled pitifully. His hand pinched the bridge of his nose and a new wave of pain came over his head. 

“It... was so weird to see, I got so sad seeing her cry Lance, it was like Pidge was back-- like nothing changed.” Her voice wavering if only slightly.

“But things have changed, we’ve all changed over the course of three years, and clearly not for the better.” Lance frowned now, still feeling the pang in his heart when he remembered the look on Pidge’s face. At the mall, and now from the apartment where he left her that day. Their apartment.

What went wrong?

Pidge was his best friend, probably his soulmate. And he cheated on her, for what he could only assume was an act of defiance? For something he ended up creating anyway.

After the CT Scan, Lance was being monitored for his headaches (which were progressively getting worse.) Until they got the results back they couldn’t give him any pain medication for fear it would thin out his blood. Allura had to leave an hour or so ago, because of visiting hours. So now Lance was alone in every sense of the word, and he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

Pidge.

Being concussed was weird. His memory blacked out, but he does remember one thing... his intent. The burning desire to see Pidge. That burning was quickly leading him to think something else was wrong, but he trudged on. Yeah, that’s right. He was walking, he was still in a hospital gown with bandaging covering his bumps and lacerations. His hand was bruised from where he ripped out the IV, and he still had one of the heart monitors attached to his chest. He really should be more concerned, how did he get here? Well, he’d find Pidge and figure that out later. Pidge would know what to do.

Oh right. 

He stopped.

I cheated on her. He stood stark still. He was a block away from their street, just so many meters away from the apartment. Their apartment. He walked on, the least he could do was apologize. He was barefoot, and it was in the middle of winter, but he didn’t feel cold. Especially when he saw the apartment.

He saw her, in the window.

Pidge.

He walked to the door.

Did he knock? Should he knock again?

He’s going in and out.

Pidg--

The door opened.

“Lance?!”

He fell forward, he didn’t realize how tired he was. 

“Thank god, I found you.” He held her, he smelled her hair. It was her, his Pidge. 

Something was quickly going wrong though.

[andymull]

WWE Stomping Grounds PPV – Previews & Predictions

Seth Rollins (c) vs The Baron: WWE Universal Championship Match w/ Special Guest Referee

The main event that no-one cares to see! The only way any interest remains for this bout once the bell rings will ALL depend on who gets announced as the guest referee, and truthfully there’s only one clear choice here that completely opens this match up to be something interesting…..and that’s Brock Lesnar.

If Lesnar comes out in the stripes with his briefcase it quickly becomes a case of ‘when’ will he cash in during the PPV, does he referee the match as normal then cash in on the winner? Does he get bored during the match and decide to destroy both guys and pin Seth? Does he beat up both guys and let The Baron win the title then beat him just to anger Rollins more? Or do they just have him ref as normal then leave and not cash in to annoy the fans/viewers that nothing happened after the big tease it will be.

If it turns out to be anyone else on the roster as the referee this will be hilarious for how bad it will be received, so much so that I need to see it lol

So, for me Lesnar refs as normal until both guys hit big moves or something big happens then he cashes in, whips the floor with them both and pins Seth. But, remember there is still the rumour that Brock holds onto his briefcase until Smackdown Live moves to Fox and cashes in on the champion during the first show for a big story to lead with on the new champion…. – LESNAR

Kofi Kingston (c) vs Dolph Ziggler: WWE Championship Steel Cage Match

Seriously, no-one cares about Ziggler, no-one cares about him in the main event and no-one thinks he has any chance of winning the title, and all of that lack of care would be even greater if they actually made the dumbest move in giving him the belt. Man, its sad that with both of these title fights we worry more about them making the dumbest decision (with great experiences of this) instead of the easiest decision that people want to see and makes sense.

This really has just been poor/easy/lazy booking, it all started with Kevin Owens not wanting to go to Saudi Arabia and they had to find a short-term challenger for the event, they went with Ziggler who hadn’t been on tv and didn’t deserve it. The match they had was meh and Ziggler lucked into them being lazy and booking most of the matches there for rematches on this Stomping Grounds show, as really he should have disappeared back into obscurity on the comedy circuit and quickly be forgotten about again by his bosses in the WWE.

Sadly, this Kofi title run still isn’t doing anything for me, ive mentioned it since Mania in that it doesn’t feel anything different or special after the initial title change and celebration. Not that I think he should be beaten ASAP for it and moved on, he needs big challengers and then should beat them clean to solidify his-self in the main event better, hell id have had him beat Roman Reigns soon even if its just a tv match to make an impact. They can focus on that win massively to try and help him while moving Roman quickly away from the title scene for awhile, then next time they get near each other we can hear how Roman has been studying tapes of the match to prepare better for Kofi, again making Kofi seem a bigger threat……its just easy to do with little thought to help everyone involved – KOFI

Becky Lynch (c) vs Lacey Evans: WWE Raw Women’s Championship Match

Another match that feels flat I guess, we all know the long-term plan is for Evans to win the title eventually but if its too soon it affects Becky more negatively as she’s been handled pretty poorly since Mania. Some of that is due to Ronda leaving for awhile and partly down to how they booked Lacey’s debut, with her being made to be ‘a lady’ above being a threat in-ring and showing her marine side.

Then we have to consider if we have Lacey lose again to Becky it potentially could harm her a lot, which is the big problem in having someone new come in and be pushed at the top of a division but don’t really want to put the belt on her instantly. People perceive wrestlers on the whole on how they debut usually, if someone comes in on top beating everyone they get looked at as a star, if they come in and receive a stuttering push and lose their big matches they come across as someone who cant hack it in the position they’ve been placed.

Truthfully I feel this kind of needs a screwy finish, mainly to keep them both strong without badly damaging either, it allows Becky to move to another feud but not truly be over Lacey who can always come back to the feud when they are finally ready for to actually win the belt. For the prediction Ill go with Becky but really it could go either way if the finish is just a DQ – LYNCH

Bayley (c) vs Alexa Bliss w/ Nikki Cross: WWE Smackdown’s Women Championship Match

The girls had a great promo segment on this weeks Smackdown that helped build this feud more than nearly everything else they’ve attempted. When looking at the winner here its only Bayley, the first thing people talk about with Bliss is still her injury status and likelihood of her getting more concussions and not being around that long and not her chances of winning the belt and moving shows.

The Smackdown women’s division really isn’t doing much of anything lately and needs some big focus the next few weeks in setting up programs for Bayley and the other girls after this title defence. I really want to see the other girls all show their ambition of being champion, it doesn’t have to be the centre piece of their ever feud away from the title but needs to be evident to show they are/want to be a big force in the division. Again, make everyone seem important and people begin to see everyone as important – BAYLEY

Roman Reigns vs Drew McIntyre

Is it just me that feels like we’ve typed this out nearly every month?

And ill say the same I think I usually do, it would be great and mean so much for Drew to beat Roman but Roman will probably win, we have to build up Shane McMahons next big challenger don’t we???? But truthfully with Roman being out of the title scene currently he should be losing this match clean, with the focus being a program in helping move Drew into a serious and legitimate world title contender instead of this being a seeming stepping stone match before Roman finally gets Shane one on one.

Give Shane the world title already!!!! – REIGNS

Samoa Joe (c) vs Ricochet: WWE US Title Match

After winning the elimination match Ricochet gets his chance for a big match with Joe, and this should be all kinds of fun. Joe is going to be bumping his ass off taking everything from Ricochet and making him look awesome, which won’t be hard. I don’t think we see a title change here but cant be sure 100% as I still think we see a Joe/Rey match when Rey’s healed for the title with a stipulation of hair vs mask – JOE

Daniel Bryan & Rowan (c) vs Heavy Machinery: WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match

I really don’t expect new champions here, but instead I fully expect to see Daniel Bryan do his damn best to put over Heavy Machinery as stars in the tag ranks that shouldn’t be laughed at but taken VERY seriously.

I think Bryan will dominate the early stages but gradually we get to see the heart of Heavy Machinery show with the fans getting behind them even more, expect some great Bryan faces throughout when Otis hits big moves and goes close to victory – BRYAN & ROWAN

The New Day vs Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn

A match I didn’t realise was happening until reading the matches listed for the show lol Seriously

At least there’s history involved for the guys to play off, but truly the only thing this match is here for is for Owens to get the victory setting up the feud with Kofi……surely? OWENS & ZAYN

Akira Tozawa vs Tony Nese (c) vs Drew Gulak: WWE Cruiserweight Triple Threat Title Match

2 really good weeks of tv these past two weeks from 205 Live, now they need to hope that this gets on the main show again and not the kick-off show…..

No title change yet, this show doesn’t seem to like doing them anyway, plus they don’t have the best depth available – NESE

Hope everyone enjoys the show, even though most are matches from the Saudi show but hopefully they bring more tonight

Bye for now

Andy

[commandergoopy]

really weird update under cut!!

so its rlly weird since i never do this because i like to think im ok but im really not in the slightest, brief warning: im gonna talk abt trauma and a little heavy stuff and you’re 100% valid if u dont wanna listen

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

so this year has been an absolute nightmare but i think its gonna get better soon hopefully!!! so i have a psyche evaluation coming up on the 7th and im incredibly nervous because my family doctor is telling me i’m already experiencing some really bad symptoms of deep rooted trauma, such as a minor case of schizophrenia and extreme ADD. so since so much has happened and i had to change my life completely last halloween, i’ve been coping horribly and my case manager is literally telling me to not do things i’ve been doing to cope, and it’s all just a jumbled mess. my environment has done a complete 180, and i can’t see my family until the end of the year, and i have extreme abandonment issues,,, i miss my grandma... ;__; but all this shitty stuff that has happened really left me bruised and ruffled, if that makes sense??? so other than mental health stuff, i’ve been going through a lot of physical health stuff, i have tendinitis and close up coming with carpel tunnel since i’m constantly using my tablet nonstop without breaks, and not to mention i use my mouse a lot too;; i recently had to deal with a concussion since im a dummy, and i can barely breathe without assistance since my fuken tonsils are invasive. so hopefully im gonna get surgery to rip these suckers out but until then im baby. ive been incredibly irritable as of late, i’ve cut off several ties with friends out of mental deterioration with little to no reasons given, and i’m slowly just shutting down.,,, like i feel like my life is just written out to be just to be shit, ,, im also being tested for genetic cancer !! fuck!!!! these 6 months have been super rough and stuff since ive basically become homeless since im living in a crisis center where they can monitor my behavior so i decide to die! and my coping skills are seriously stunted to the point of where i’m getting too emotionally attached to fuckin video game character(s), and i’ve just been incredibly lonely despite me refusing talking to people and i feel like im just in a personal strife with my thoughts vs my actions. days that are the worst makes me incredibly sensitive to noise and make me physically upset and i have to evacuate the area, and i have to block out noise, sight and smell because if i even remotely feel anything bad i will actually cry and tear my hair out. anyways! im not really ok, but thats ok, because first step into recovery is admitting you have a problem! !!! anyways im being tested next week to see what i got and see what the next step into my recovery is, but at the same time i just feel like a guinea pig for my doctors/therapists to see how to make me stop crying, and it’s really stressful to trust people nowadays......i havent forgot abt commissions, i think about my clients all the time because Anxiety,,.... anyways thanks for reading ok bye

[tagathaofwoodsbeyond]

[Prompt] I could.. Give you a massage? If you want?

Modern au bbys

Idk if this is common but at my high school we had this class called sports medicine. Basically you'd learn about being a doctor and specifically, dealing with sports injuries. And during games, they would patch up any injuries (or keep them okayish till professionals arrived).

Tedros is The Football Boy Of 2018™

Aggie signed up for forensic science and got put in sports medicine, where she has to go to every. Single. Game.

------

Aggie pulled her legs up towards her in her chair, freezing as she heard the cheap plastic squeak, before continuing. She had been to countless football games and they still made no sense to her. She'd started recognizing faces, but none of the rules.

Hort sat next to her, listening to Ravan's sixth attempt to try and explain the game over the last two months. She was pretty sure he had understood half way through the second explanation, but neither of them were good at flirting, so this was all they had.

Chaddick, the big burly guy with the weird eyebrows, was chasing one of the other team guys, who maybe had the ball? She usually figured it out with context clues, with how massive a lot of these guys were. Tedros was four inches taller than her and she was one of the tallest girls in their tiny school.

There was some tackling, and now they were lining up again, but closer to where they had tackled other-team guy. Wack.

Tristan, the little redheaded guy who changed in the bathroom instead of the locker room cause of Aric, was the one that threw tje ball, like most times. He threw it to Tedros, and Tedros ran, and ran, and he looked like he was going to get to the goal area. There were guys behind him but he seemed like he was gonna make it-

Shit.

She unwound her legs from her Modern Gargoyle™ position as Ravan and Hort ran to the field. The guys had tackled him, and everything was okay, till someone realize how fucked up his leg had twisted. Ravan lifted his weight and Hort tried to help drag him, mostly just making sure his messed up leg didn't touch the ground.

They got him onto the yellow carrier they used, the one Hort would use as a sled down hills when the games were slow, and carted him inside the school while Coach Castor called a hospital.

Hort checked Tedros for signs of a concusion while everyone else... Just sort of stood around. They couldn't exactly wrap it up. Ravan tried to ice it but Tedros had screamed bloody murder, so after Hort had given a 'maybe' to Tedros having a concussion, Hort and Ravan left. Agatha stayed behind, in case anyone needed anything.

Mr. Pollux looked at Agatha for a moment after a heated whisper debate with Coach Castor. "Can you drive?"

Agatha nodded. "The schools probably going to have to pitch in on his medical bills since SOMEONE decided to put Tedros in despite his recent injury. Ambulances are quite expensive, and he can probably wait a little bit."

Tedros tried to object, but he wasn't quite making sense. Either Hort had given him some crazy heavy painkillers or he was just super out of it. Maybe shock? Who freaking knew. Definitely not Agatha.

They ended up loading him into her prius, agathas bag and folded up lawn chair sitting in her front seat as Pollux sat on top of the 'Carrying-Tedros-Board' and held Tedros' injured leg off the seats. He was kind of bleeding, and her mom had helped her clean the inside of her car like a week ago, so broken football boy or not, she was keeping the seats blood free, Pollux's khakis be damned.

-----

After the initial struggle of shoving Tedros back onto the board, now with less arm stength than a corndog between her and Pollux, sitting in the waiting room was somewhat uneventful. Tedros' legal guardian, Mr. Merlin, didn't pick up his phone, so they couldn't leave the hospital, even as Castor spammed Pollux with texts about driving home by himself. Agatha thought about the odd situation of two of her teachers living together to distract from the... Legitimate worry she felt for her classmate.

He had made fun of her in freshman year, but so had Sophie, and she was her best(and only, at the time) friend. Sophomore year they had been in the same chemistry class, and forced to do three different projects together before they began to actually enjoy eachothers company. They never hung out outside of school, but he was pretty funny, once you dug through the layers of secret self loathing projected as arrogance and a need to Please.

Pollux answered questions about Tedros' medical history for the doctors aa best he could after having his medical records forwarded to him by the school. Agatha texted Hort, looked at weird ten second clips on YouTube, and overall just twiddled her thumbs as they waited for any news. Tedros wouldn't die, but it could still be something serious. What if he could never walk? What if they had to cut off his leg? Agatha considered the options as a nurse walked up to the pair and said they were allowed to see him now.

Pollux had to leave, since Castor had coms to pick him up, and Agatha still questioned everything about that situation once she slipped into the room.

Tedros had a giant cast on his leg, and an IV for fluid, but nothing to spectacular. He turned to her and grinned a sort of hazy smile, like he wasn't quite sure who she was, just glad he had company.

"Hey there buddy. How are you feeling?" Agatha spoke slowly, sure that Tedros' mind was covered in a painkiller fog. She patted his wrist and he looked down at it, almost surprised that he still could feel things.

"I'm doing good... Very good. How're you?" Agatha bit back a laugh. Still trying to be polite.

"I'm doing just fine. Did they tell you what happened?" Agatha leaned a little bit, legitimately curious as to what had happened. She couldn't ask the nurse, seeing as she had left the room after letting Agatha in.

Tedros looked up as if he was questioming life's grestest question. "I think I broke my thigh bone. Like, the super big and strong one." Agatha nodded along to what he was saying even as he trailed off, mumbling.

"Well that's good to hear. Is there anything that still hurts?" Tedros considered the question again.

Tedros shook his head no, the same placid smile as before. He closed his eyes and layed down, seemingly drifting off to sleep. Wait, shit, did he have a concussion? She pressed a nurse call button and asked.

She looked through Tedros' sheet. "No, no concussion. He can sleep as long as he'd like." Agatha looked down at Tedros, glad she hadn't woken him before calling the nurse. It felt weird. Something in her heart felt.. Warm.

Wack.

----------

Agatha visited the hospital every day that week to check up on him. She'd tell him what was going on at school, update him on the rumor mill surrounding what had happened, etc. The only reason he was still at the hospital was because of some internal organ damage, nothing to do with the leg, so he was starting to grow a bit restless. He'd ask her how the guys on the team were doing, even how the sports medicine group was doing. She would show him dumb youtube crap on her phone, play songs she knew he wouldn't like but she enjoyed so she forced him to listen, and pull out countless videos of her cat. Without noticing, in a week Agatha and Tedros had gotten surprisingly close.

So after finally exchanging numbers, and two weeks after Tedros was discharged, they decided to meet up outside of school.

They met at the Arby's™ that Beatrix and Nick worked out, and walked to Tedros' house. He didn't live in the mcmansion she expected, but a rather sweet suburban house. Three bedrooms, worn in furniture, pinterests idea of the dream life. But there were little red flags as she went.

Tedros's room, the kitchen, and the bathroom looked like the only rooms anyone actually lived in. The magazines left on the coffee table were coated in dust and about six years old. She couldn't tell which room was his parents and which was the guest room, since both were equally barren, with a moderately nice bed that looked like it hadn't been used in years, a dusty nightstand, and absolutely nothing else. Ominous as f u c k.

They hung out in Tedros' room, messing around on his computer, seeing what trick shots they could make on his walls with a foam basketball, and just generally shooting breeze. Tedros would be able to play again senior year, but for now he was stuck with crutches and a key to the schools secret elevators.

"How much does it still hurt?" Agatha asked. She was kind of curious how much he could've healed in the three weeks since he'd been injured.

"My leg doesn't ever really hurt, it's just annoying to tie a trash bag around everytime i bathe. I still get weird flashes of pain around my chest, but they said it'll be gone by December. My shoulders been killing me though."

Agatha cocked her head. She hadn't remembered anything about his shoulders. "What happened to them?"

Tedros shrugged, then tried to play off the slight wince. "Apparently lying in bed for a week straight messes up your shoulders. I'll probably be fine? It's just not fun right now."

Agatha nodded, and considered. She couldn't really help with intestinal damage, or broken bones, but she knew how to deal with tense muscles. Would it be weird? Would he be uncomfortable? Would SHE be uncomfortable?

Yes to all of the above. But she really didn't do anything in sports medicine besides wrap sprained wrists and ankles, steal icey hots, and give massages to people.

"I could.. Give you a massage?" As soon as she said it she regretted it. She sounded so fucking weird. Abort mission, abort mission.

"Really? I think that would help a lot." Tedros turned kind of awkwardly until his back faced Agatha.

She took a deep breath and got started.

[weheart-dianelockhart]

So Little Time (II)—McHart

It’s the night of Kurt’s accident. Husband and wife, though they wouldn’t exactly refer to themselves as such at the moment, are seated on the floor in front of the steady fire. Diane drifts in and out of sleep as she rests her head on Kurt’s chest. The living room is dim with a few candles scattered throughout.

Diane woke up from her latest dozing session. The warmth from the fire combined with Kurt’s presence is enough to trick her into thinking that everything is normal. But they are so far from normal, she hasn’t a clue how they will find their way back. The butterflies in her stomach are restless and she is still reeling from the adrenaline that pumped through her veins when she got the call. She’s brought back to reality by Kurt’s shift, obviously still sore. She sat up and rested her weight on her hands.

“If we stay on the floor much longer, I don’t think we will be able to get up.” Diane picked herself up off the floor and reached out a hand to help him stand.

He cringed at first, a dull pain lingering around his bruises, but stood to his feet with little assistance. She kept her fingers intertwined with his and pulled him toward the stairs. His pace was slower than usual, but his pain medication was preventing him from moving any faster.

The bedroom was pitch dark, the power outage not lifting anytime soon.

“What a night for the power to go out,” Diane pushed him toward the bed and he willingly sat.

“There are matches in the...yea,” Kurt began, but she beat him to the drawer. She remembered. She remembered everything thing about this room, having spent many nights within its walls. Her feet moved quietly across the floor as she returned to his side, gauze and fresh bandages in hand.

“Tell me if I hurt you.” She looked him in the eye, he could barely see the shadow of the weariness etched into her face. This had been a long road for Diane and today’s stress and emotions did not give her a second to breathe. But she was breathing now. Carefully, using her breath to steady her hand as she unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off his shoulders. Kurt kept his eyes locked on her face. The desperation of wanting to offer a thousand apologies was agonizing. Diane glanced at his face, reading his level of pain thus far. He nodded slightly and she continued peeling off the bandage covering the stitches on his collar bone.

“I still can’t believe you were thrown to the ground and only came out with a concussion, 15 stitches, and bruised ribs.” She shook her head, pouring the solution on the gauze pad.

“I suppose it could have been a lot,” He sucked air through his teeth at the sting of the alcohol, “Worse.”

“I’m sorry.” She instinctively pulled back.

“No, it just stung. It’s ok.” He stated, sitting up a bit straighter to show her he was fine.

Diane resumed her task of cleaning his wound and successfully secured the new bandages. Before she let him put his shirt back on, she wanted to assess the damage for herself.

“Wait. Let me see your bruises.” Kurt turned his body sideways, revealing the colorful skin covering his injured ribs. Diane caught her breath, the sheer force of the accident becoming clear.

Reaching out a hand, she ran her fingers over his side and onto his back. At a spot near his spine, she attempted to turn him further to get a better view, causing Kurt to let out an audible reaction of discomfort. Diane recoiled instantly covering her mouth with her hands.

“I’m so sorry...” tears began to fall down her cheeks leaving gray makeup streaks in their wake.

“It’s alright, really,” he took her into his arms and pulled her onto the bed beside him, “It’s alright.”

“No it’s not! Kurt, I was scared to death when I got that phone call. I couldn’t breath the entire drive to the hospital.” She sat up and wiped her eyes, “This is not something you should have to go through. This is not the life we planned.”

Her last sentence struck a nerve in both their hearts, the multiple meanings as clear as glass. Silence fell upon the pair.

“Look, can we please make a deal to stay out of the hospital for now? Nothing dangerous. Nothing stupid.” He laughed at her words, “I just don’t think my heart can take it at this point.”

“You have to promise me, too.” He pushed her hair from her eyes and smoothed it down the side of her cheek.

“Ok, deal.” Finally smiling, Diane helped Kurt put on his shirt and the two laid in the candlelight for the rest of the evening until sleep took over.

••

“I didn’t see him for long. I guess he was tall and thin, taller than me and I am 5'11''. He was wearing a hat. Jeans.” Kurt’s memory was clouded. He replayed her agonizing cries on repeat. “That’s all I’ve got right now.”

Without a second look, Kurt walked away from the police officer and over to the hospital’s front desk.

“Is she out of surgery yet?” This was his third time asking the same nurse the exact same question.

“Mr. McVeigh, please be patient. We will let you know when there is a development. For now, please wait over there.”

He couldn’t sit still. He paced and paced, making all the waiting room inhabitants nervous, until he heard his name.

“She’s out of surgery and stable. She’s currently in ICU, but you may sit with her. The doctors can tell you more.” Kurt’s eyes were wide and longing for more information, “Follow me.”

Rounding the corner, the sound of alarms filled his ears as three nurses scrambled into one of the far rooms. It’s didn’t take long for Kurt to realize they were rushing into Diane’s room.

“Her blood pressure is low and her heart rate is dropping.” He heard one of the nurses call over her shoulder.

“It’s the wound; she needs fluid.”

Kurt’s first instinct was to run toward the room, but felt a strong arm in his way. They nurse held his shaking body back was the door to Diane’s room was shut.

“Wait here.” The nurse gestured to the chair a few feet away as she took over the nurses’ station. But he couldn’t sit. Not with the thought of Diane wrapped in wires and the sound of beeping machines swirling brought his head. His stare faltered and shifted to the floor. Kurt stayed, locked in that place for what felt like hours until the door was opened once more. Without thinking, (there is no time to think in his position) Kurt’s feet took him toward the end of the hallway.

He paused, briefly, before entering the room, unsure if she could take the sight waiting for him past the wall. In that moment, his love for Diane surging like a wave, propelling him forward both emotionally and physically.

Diane looked up from the IV in her arm, where the nurse was securing the needle. Not expecting to see her husband, she tilted her head and smiled as wide as she could. Which, judging by her groggy, morphine-induced state, barely even made it to her lips. Kurt lingered by the door, eyes locked with Diane’s. He wanted to scoop her into his arms and take her far from the suffering she was obviously enduring. The nurse finished taping her IV and, with a warning to not move too much and to call if she needed anything, exited the room.

A small sigh escaped Diane’s mouth as she was unable to exhale through her nose due to the oxygen helping her body recuperate. That was all he needed, moving quickly to the chair next to her bed, taking his hand in hers. They sat like this, neither knowing what to say, beyond thankful that Diane was alive and clutching his hand.

Eventually, Diane opened her eyes stating, “I don’t want to know who it was or how it happened. Things are pretty fuzzy right now,” She could barely speak above a whisper, despite her efforts, “But I do remember you kneeling in front of me. Trying to stop the bleeding.”

Kurt bowed his head and placed a small kiss on her hand.

“Thank you,” tears burned her cheeks and she didn’t resist gravity as they fell, “I might still be laying on that floor if you hadn’t caught an early flight.”

Using his thumb he gently wiped her tears, Diane leaning into his palm.

Kurt didn’t have the words. Of course, he usually is on the quiet side, but this was a different silence. His fear of breaking down if he spoke even a word was overwhelming. Diane knew this, too. The way he was looking at her, taking in her tired, pale features told her everything she needed to know.

The wheels of a nurse’s cart could be heard approaching Diane’s room and the couple composed themselves as much they could, given their evident trauma.

“We have to change your bandages, Ms. Lockhart.”

Diane nodded and laid back, preparing her body for the pain that would undoubtedly follow this necessary task. Kurt sat back in his chair, giving the nurse space to maneuver. She began unbuttoning the front of Diane’s gown, but paused and gave Diane a knowing look, nodding toward Kurt.

“Oh, he’s seen me naked enough times, I think he can handle one more.” A slightly larger smile, than her previous attempt, spread across her lips and she reached out her hand to Kurt. He folded her fingers between both of his hands.

Her abdomen was numb, but she could still feel the sting of the bandages leaving her skin. Wincing and shutting her eyes as the nurse cleaned the wound and stitches, Diane’s grip on Kurt’s hands tightened.

He made the mistake of letting his eyes wonder down to the exposed laceration. Turning away immediately, Diane caught his glance.

“Is it bad?” She asked, tentatively.

Kurt sighed and scooted closer, speaking for the first time since entering her room, “You’re going to be just fine, sweetheart.”

[youremyplayground]

Nightmares and Hauntings

I ran as fast as I could, but it seemed like it was all in slow motion. I was moving so slowly. Distantly I heard Jae scream my name. I looked for him but he was nowhere around I looked back at the creature and could see that it was right behind me. I screamed and as I turned back around it moved right in front of me. It reaches out a bony hand and grabbed my arm. I jolted awake and Jae was staring at me with worried brown eyes.

 "Baby, are you okay?" He asked smoothing my hair.

  I nodded and tried to calm my breathing. I've had the same nightmare for about a year now, after my mom died. Jae has been my friend since preschool and we started dating a couple years ago, so her death affected him as well. She was like his mom in many ways.

  "Was it the same one?" He asked pulling me into his arms. I nodded again and wrapped my arms around his neck taking in his warmth and smell. I calmed down slowly, but still had the creature's face in my mind.

  "Did I wake you again?" I asked quietly, my face in his neck.

  "Yes. But it's fine, I don't want you to be alone when you have these things." He assured, rubbing my back.

  I squeeze my eyes shut as a flood of emotions wash over me. He's so sweet to me and yet all I do is wake him up in the middle of the night because of a stupid nightmare. Tears fall down my face and onto his bare shoulder.

  "Hey, hey. Shhh. It's okay." He whispers soothingly.

  He pulls me into him tighter. I sob quietly. I don't know how long we stayed there, but eventually I start to fall asleep hugging him. He shifts is so that we're laying down and he rubs patterns into my back. I close my eyes, lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. The rhythmic thumping lulls me to sleep, but before I'm completely out I quietly whisper "I love you Jae."

  In the morning I get ready to go to work, while Jae is still asleep. While I'm curling my brownish-red hair, his soft snores echo in the stillness. As I put the curling iron down, he snorts then rolls over and continues snoring. I smile slightly and fix my uniform. I work as an aide at the hospital, of course it just consists of changing bedpans and things like that, but it isn't a horrible job. Jae works as mechanic. He's my little grease monkey. Most of the time when he comes home, he's exhausted. He says it's because he had a long day and a lot of customers, but I think it's because of the fact I keep him awake most nights with my screaming. There's been maybe one night where I didn't wake him up; and that's because I had a particularly hard day at work and was far too tired to dream. I often hope for that to happen again so Jae could sleep, but it hasn't happened. I walked into our room and checked the time. It was time to wake him up so he can get ready for work.

  "Jae. Baby, it's time to get ready to change people's tires and fix their stupid mistakes." I said sitting on the bed next to him. He opened on eye and looked at me the groaned and stuffed his face into the pillow.

  "Now, none of that. Come on." I said gripping his bicep.

  I tried to roll him over but I'm far too weak. Instead, I ended slipping and falling on him. He started laughing and sat up. He rubbed his eyes and looked five years old, except for the sexy stubble on his chin. His hair was all mussed, his torso was shirtless. He was just a beacon of sexiness. I pulled my phone out and quickly took a picture then pecked him on the lips.

  "Mm. More." He groaned when I pulled away.

  "I'm going to be late." I laughed then pecked him 3 times. “I’ll kiss you more tonight. Bye." I said then went to work.

  I was walking home after my shift because my car was broken down and my phone was dead. It was around maybe 10 at night and the streets were eerily quiet. Suddenly, I heard a noise that made my blood run cold in my veins.

  "Isabelle...." My mother's voice called.

  I stopped in my tracks and looked around. I was alone on the street. Just then the streetlight shut off. I was alone and in the dark. Footsteps echoed down the streets. I turned and saw a figure then kept walking, just wanting to get home to Jae. Suddenly there were footsteps all around me I looked at the people and they were tall with hoodies on. The streetlight flickered and I barely got a glimpse that they were all men. A bad feeling was in my gut and just then the tallest one spoke.

  "Well hello there. Aren't you a sexy thing? Give us your purse and give us a little piece of you and we'll be on our way." He grinned in the darkness. I gave him the purse and the 3 other guys got closer. I tried to back away but backed into one of the guys and he wrapped his arms around me. I fought and tried to get free.

  "Shh if you scream we'll have to hurt you and we don't want that do we?" The leader said, dragging a knife across my cheek and I couldn't help myself, I screamed at the top of my lungs. He sighed then dug the knife deep into my side.

  "What a shame. Come on boys." He said, pulling the knife back out and cleaning it off before walking away.

  I put my hand over the wound and fell onto the ground. I pulled my hand back and saw it drenched in blood. I pushed it back to the wound and got up trying to walk. Once I got on my feet the lights turned back on and I braced myself against the wall while I walked. There was a pay phone at the end of the street and luckily it had coins on top of it. I dialed the house phone and on the third ring he answered.

  "J-Jae." I whispered. I was losing quite a bit of blood.

  "Isabelle? Why aren't you using your cell? Why are you whispering?" His voice was instantly anxious.

  "Car broke down. Got mugged and stabbed. At the corner of 9th and Hamilton. Please hurr..." I blacked out.

  "Run Isabelle!" My mother yelled to me.

  There was a figure in a dark hood slowly coming towards me. I couldn't move. As it got closer, it started getting brighter. By the time it was to me, I heard Jae's voice.

  "Oh no no no no no. Baby, stay with me." He cried. I barely opened my eyes to the bright light. We were in an ambulance.

  "J-J-Jae...." I whispered. He looked into my eyes, tears in his.

  "Oh baby..." He sobbed, kissing my forehead.

  "I-I..." My voice gave out and I couldn't talk anymore. My eyes started to close again, I started to fade again, when the EMT called for my attention.

  "Isabelle I need you to stay awake okay? We think you hit your head when you passed out. If you have a concussion then you might slip into a coma. Stay awake for your husband alright?" She said softly then turned her attention back to my side. I looked at Jae and he smiled sheepishly.

  "They wouldn't let me go with you otherwise." He whispered. I just stared at him too tired to smile or say anything. He stroked my face and more tears fell from his eyes. "I thought I lost you. When you didn't answer I thought your muggers came back." He looked down and shook his head. His hair covered his eyes and he ran his hand through my hair. The EMT pulled and prodded at my side and I whimpered as a surge of pain struck through me. They both snapped their heads to me.

  "Sorry, sweetie." She said, then went back to her work.

  I nodded slightly and a tear fell from my eyes. She reminded me of my mom. She was a nurse. One day she didn't come home and it was really late, so I knew something was wrong. After about 2 hours past her shift was over I got a call that there was a shooting at the hospital and my mom was shot.

  "Good news, the wound doesn't look very deep." The doctor smiled about an hour after they got me into the hospital bed.

  I looked at him and then at the nurse hooking up my IV. Jae was asleep in the chair at

the far end of the room. His fingers would twitch every once in a while.

  "And you don't have a concussion, so you go ahead and get some rest okay? The nurse is putting some pain medication into your IV so that it will be easier to sleep. Good night miss." The doctor continued then walked out.

  The nurse soon followed him. I closed my eyes and a second later was asleep. The nightmare started all over again. The same dark barren wasteland, the same fear and dread running through me. There was only one difference, there was a giant pain in my side. I looked down and saw there were three giant scratches across it. I looked up and saw the creature, its cold red eyes, the glistening fangs, the claws. It was even more terrifying than usual because the fangs and claws were dripping red. I looked down at its feet and immediately regretted it, Jae's and my mom's lifeless bodies laid there, faces frozen with fear. I turned and started running, hearing the creature's footsteps thunder after me. Suddenly I fell and by the time I got on my feet the creature was to me. Its red eyes boring into mine. Its mouth opened into a roar then I jolted awake, the roar echoing throughout my mind. It was dark in the room and Jae's soft breathing was the only sound. I sighed and relaxed into my bed again. I couldn't fall back asleep so I stared at the ceiling.

  "Isabeeeeeelllleeee...." My mother’s voice echoed again.

  My entire body went rigid. Fear swept through my veins as my name was whispered a second time. My breath quickened as well as my heart rate when it got louder as it was said a third and fourth time. It kept being whispered. Soon it sounded like she was right next to me and was yelling it. The quick pace of my heartbeat on the monitor was getting faster and faster and soon was cut off by a loud singular beep. In my peripheral vision I saw Jae jolt up and yell my name. The door flung open and two nurses ran in alongside the doctor. Suddenly, I was above my body. I saw fear plastered on my face and Jae's. The only difference is Jae's face had life to it, mine however looked like stone. There was no life in my eyes. The doctor and nurses got a defibrillator and used it on me. My body jolted but nothing happened. When they tried again, I found myself on the bed and screaming.

  "It's okay Isabelle!" The doctor yelled. I stopped screaming and looked around. "What happened?" He asked me.

  I looked straight into his eyes and said, with plain fear in my voice, "Mom's waiting for me." Then everything went black.

  Her eyes bored into mine. Blood dripping off of various places. The familiar face I had come to love over the years was twisted into a grimace of hatred. I turned around and saw the monster. Both of them crawling towards me. I was sitting on the ground and couldn't move anything, except my head. I looked down at my arms and saw a lifeless Jae, his throat slit and random cuts and bruises everywhere. I choked out a sob and buried my face into his bloody chest.

  "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Jae." I whispered. Knowing that both of the monsters were coming towards me. I accepted it. I didn't want to live in a world without my mom...or Jae...

  "Isabelle..." He let out a strangled whisper. I lifted my head and looked it him pale face.

  "Wake up....please...." With that, his eyes glassed over.

  I closed my eyes and felt claws rake down my back. When I opened my eyes, I was in my bed and was hooked up to machines still. The door opened and Jae strolled in.

  "Hi babe." He said with a smile. "You know you scared me the other day..." He whispered, his face falling, as he sat on my bed.

  "O-other day?" I asked. He nodded.

  "You've been asleep for 3 days." I felt my eyes go wide.

  "Really?"

  "Well, Dr. Gallagher kept you drugged up so you would rest. He thinks that you had a dream about being mugged again. But he let you come home. So at least we have that...." He said, his eyes staring at my side, where a bandage with a little blood seeping through was.

  "My mom..." I thought to myself. "She was whispering my name..."

  "Jae." I said. He looked up at me. "Thank you for saving me." He smiled.

  "Anything for you, babe." He leaned forward and softly put his lips to mine. "I bet you're hungry, huh?" I nodded a little. "Okay, let me help you up so we can get you some dinner." I nodded again, starting to sit up. A pain went through my side and I winced.

  "Take it easy." Eventually, I got up and was at the dinner table. Jae had made Chicken Alfredo. It was delicious.

  "My little grease monkey is also a chef..." I muttered after I had finished. He smiled smugly at me.

  "Pretty great, I know." He laughed.

  "Actually, it's horrible." I joked, laughing.

  “Are you feeling better?” He asked, suddenly getting serious. A hand going to my forehead.

  “Yeah I’m feeling alright. I mean besides a little tired and dizzy. It’s nothing too bad though. I’m sure it’s an after effect of blood loss and the anesthesia.” I said, grabbing his hand and staring at his face. “You look tired, babe.” I commented.

  “I am. I couldn’t really sleep because I was so worried about you.” He said.

  “Go to bed, I’ll be fine.” As soon as those words left my lips, a sharp pain panged through my side, reminding me that I got stabbed. I put a hand to it, making Jae shoot over to my side, asking what was wrong. “Nothing. I just moved wrong. I’m alright. Come on, let’s go to bed.” I said, standing up and grabbing his hand and walking to the bedroom.

  Jae laid down on the bed and opened his arms up to me, which I gladly laid down in. My head rested on his chest and I listened to his heartbeat and calm, tired, breathes. I closed my eyes and smiled, truly happy. It’s been a while since we had been able to do this. With my constant nightmares, Jae would often sleep in the living room, attempting to get some kind of sleep before having to run in and wake me up. I would often tell him that it was fine if he didn’t wake me up, that nothing would happen. It was only a nightmare, after all. What’s the worst that could happen? It’s not like life is that scary movie where if you die in a dream, you die in real life.

  “Been a while since we cuddled.” Jae commented, sounding extremely close to unconsciousness.

  “I was just thinking the same thing. I missed this. I missed you.” I said, kissing his jaw. He hummed in delight.

  Once his breathing slowed and his grip loosened around me, I pulled myself out of the bed and walked into the living room, determined to let him finally get his sleep. Plus, I felt wide awake. However, once I walked into the living room, awake turned into alert, and alert turned into afraid as I heard her voice again and I swear I saw her standing beside the window.

  “Isabelle.” She called softly. “Sweet, sweet, Belle.” Her cooing voice sent chills down my spine as I made eye contact with her cold, lifeless eyes. One thing was for sure, this wasn’t my mother.

[scriptautistic]

Part 1. I'm not sure if I should ask here or scriptmedic but her asks are off, but this probably requires both of your help. Well, two of my characters got in an accident, the allistic one is unconscious and obviously can't help but the autistic one is severely injured. Anyway his injuries would be cracked ribs, steel bar cut into his stomach, crushed arm, broken arm, broken leg, and a really bloody head that has to get checked for concussion. He can't stim as usual due to the immense pain, he's

Part 2.  He can’t stim as usual due to the immense pain, he’s absolutely terrified, and just screams and cries because he’s in distress (due to both the pain but especially autism), it’s even worse when the EMT’s attempt to touch him. I can’t figure out a way for the EMT’s to deal with him since they don’t know about him being autisitc and they can’t communicate [he doesn’t even talk], while the whole thing is being extremely stressful for the autistic character. What should be happening for the

Part 3. How should the EMTs and the hospital to effectively help? Would they even recognize that he may be autistic or have some kind of mental issue and perhaps send for a psychiatrist? What would a psychiatrist suggest? Also, the hospital they are taking him to doesn’t have any of his medical files. Thanks. Sorry for the long ask.

Sorry, this isn’t really anything in our area of expertise - the questions are all about the medical practitioners rather than the autistic character. None of us have experience with this sort of situation, but EMS workers do have a lot of experience dealing with agitated patients. Maybe some of our followers might have ideas, either because they are an EMT/paramedic or because they have been through a similar situation?

We’ll approach this more from the perspective of the autistic character because that is an area where we do have expertise!

First of all, a person in agonising pain because of horrible wounds is probably not “screaming and crying because of the pain but especially autism”. Screaming and crying due to pain is not atypical. They are probably screaming and crying mainly because of pain and distress. Being autistic may mean that they have additional causes for distress than a typical patient in the same situation … but it is not just “autism” making them scream; having “cracked ribs, steel bar cut into his stomach, crushed arm, broken arm, broken leg, and a really bloody head” is enough to cause someone extreme pain and distress regardless of their neurotype. Even if you believe that the pain is not enough to cause this reaction, it helps to remember that “autistic people do not do the visibly autistic things we do because of “autism,” full stop. We do things because, like non-autistic people, we are responding to our experiences of the world, and one of the characteristics of being autistic is that our experiences of the world differ from those of non-autistic people.” (from the article Writing Autistic Characters: Behaviorizing vs. Humanizing Approaches)

If the EMTs cannot communicate with the character at all, they will treat him as lacking capacity to consent and do what they feel is in his best interests. They will use any information available, like they would for any other unidentified patient who did not have the capacity to communicate (because they are unconscious for example).

However, being unable to speak does not mean that the character cannot communicate. The medical personnel would narrate what they were doing, and can ask yes or no questions that the character might be able to respond to. Using words is not the only way to communicate. The character can show agreement by nodding or shaking their head, making noises to mean “no” or “yes”, and use other techniques suggested in this post.

Depending on the situation, EMTs do sometimes have to use restraint (this will be if a patient presents a danger to themselves or to others, and will only be after they have tried other ways of calming the patient).

Autistic people are more likely to be subject to restraint (both in a medical setting and in life in general). Restraint is traumatic and can present a risk to life if not done properly. Sometimes it becomes necessary for the safety of an individual, but often use of restraint is avoidable. Being physically restrained, drugged, and locked up are an assault on an individual’s autonomy and can have a big impact on how they see themselves. I do not think that your character would be restrained by EMS, but if it becomes an issue at any point during his treatment I would hope to see you acknowledge the emotional impact it has on the character.

I managed to get in touch with a paramedic I know who says:

Restraint is a last resort, but the character’s injuries are potentially life-threatening, and without knowing the history of the character, EMS’s assumption is that the behavioral changes are due to head trauma, not underlying pathology or neuroatypicality. The ER is going to feel the same way (especially with the bloody head.) If the character is specifically sensitive to touch, they’re going to have a Bad Day™. There willl be hands, IVs, oxygen sensors, EKG electrodes, and probably a cast for the broken arm. Also, remember that the character will likely get pain medication, either by EMS or in the ER, and those have significant sedative effects. Also, this character is going in a CT scanner at some point to scan their brain, and that may mean having to sedate them enough to get compliance, because you can’t scan a moving head. So there’s likely to be chemical and/or physical restraint, especially if the character attempts to strike a staff member, even if that strike is, from the character’s POV, self-defense.

The emergency medical services’ priority will be treating any life-threatening injuries. The character himself is likely to be extremely traumatised by the event, having experienced an accident, severe pain, and being placed in a situation where he was unable to communicate, as well as possible experience of medical trauma and undergoing medical procedures without the ability to give or withhold consent.

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