#the commas really get to me
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obviously the best way to become a better writer is to read real books but there’s so many things that annoy me in fic that i feel like should be able to be addressed by simply READING MORE FANFICTION. i’m going to be mean here but so often i will see things like the way people use commas (or more accurately, don’t use them), or calling characters ��the blond” “the younger man” etc, or idk those are the main examples on my mind at the moment but other shit like that. and i’m like surely even if you don’t read books you read other fanfic right??? do you not think it sounds bad when other fic reads like this???
#like do you not have a sense of what sounds good and bad when you read?? even if you’re only reading fic?????#the commas really get to me#idk man i have a lot of insecurities with my own writing mainly i feel that i am not creative enough to come up with evocative descriptions#i love writing dialogue but i struggle with the narrative parts of writing prose#and similarly i have a hard time coming up w ideas for plots and stuff!#like that is just not my strong suit i would say i struggle with. creativity.#but i’m truly like how are people still referring to characters as ‘the taller man’ and shit. like isnt everybody always talking about#how much they hate that#there’s a drawfee bit where they’re joking like ‘drawing is easy just look at it and draw what you see’#and sometimes that is how i feel about writing even though i know it doesn’t work like that <3#like literally just read something good and write it like that <3#anyway the solution to this IS to read real published books#bc they will be professionally edited and you won’t be getting things like ‘’hi’ he said smiling’#real books are not immune to bad writing i’m sure you might still encounter some ‘the younger man’ ‘the taller man’ bullshit#but it’s. better.#anyway disclaimer i am not talking about people whose first language is not english#although a lot of times those authors are the least guilty of these crimes anyway so#r.txt
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what's ur biggest spelling/grammar enemy (in english)?
commas
words that sound different from the way they're written (colonel, wednesday)
prepositions (on, at, in,..)
sentence structure/order
double consonants (excellent, intelligent..)
mod, if u can think of any more, pls add them
#i don't usually have much trouble but double consonants sometimes get me#specifically the word successful. never get it right#but i always get it close enough that autocorrect knows what im saying so it doesn't really matter#same for some ie/ei words#i also tend to write run on sentences with way too many commas#polls#submitted#queued#english#writing#spelling#grammar
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steddyhands modern au inspired by this post:
(1828 words, themes of kink but nothing explicit, established blackhands & gentlebeard-centric. Happy Pride!)
Stede picks up leatherworking in the wake of his divorce. He's not exactly sure how it ended up being such an important hobby for him, only that he had always admired the intricate designs on his horse's best bridles, and with little else to do with his time, he decides to give it a go.
It's rocky going at first, but he's having fun working with his hands for the first time in his life, and there's a sense of satisfaction in seeing the design come to life as he works. With practice, his skills improve, and he learns how to make things that are truly one of a kind.
He starts off posting his pieces online, as a way to reach fellow enthusiasts, but quickly finds himself with a rather large audience. Stede’s style is unique, and, after many requests from his followers, Lucius encourages him to make some more basic pieces he can sell. It's not about making money for Stede, but another way to meet new people who share his interests- as Lucius keeps telling him, it's sad that his personal assistant is the main person he talks to these days.
So Stede sets out on a new adventure, and has quite the time designing a new range of patterns for the market. He makes purses, belts, bracelets, and, most importantly, dog collars- all still with his unique designs embossed into them, of course. He rents a booth at his towns monthly craft fair, and very quickly finds himself with a new group of friends in the other regulars- Pete, his usual neighbour, who sells an array of wooden figures he carves, Roach, who runs a stand for his bakery, and Frenchie, who isn't actually a stallholder, but is almost always busking near his friend Wee John’s stand of knitted goods, bringing life to the market even in the pouring rain. There's also Buttons, another regular at the market. Nobody is exactly sure what he does there- he doesn't sell things, or seem to buy anything either, but rain or shine, he's there with the birds.
Stede’s been doing this a few months by the time June rolls around. As he's setting up his stand, he notices that the area is much busier than it’d normally be at this time of morning. Lucius, who got roped into helping run Stede’s stall somewhere down the line (despite his protests that this is not what personal assistant means… But hey, he got a boyfriend out of it, at least), reminds him that there's the parade today, too- not realising that Stede had no clue there was a parade today, and especially not that it was pride. Stede immediately jumps to fretting about the amount of stock he’s brought, and Lucius takes the cue to escape, saying he’ll go and grab them coffee (but really, he's off to flirt with Pete)
Lucius is still missing when Ed stumbles across the little leather stall. Stede’s just ran back to his car to fetch his last boxes of inventory, and by the time he returns, Ed’s already begun to narrow down his choices. Stede greets him, starting to tell him that they're not actually open yet, but before he gets more than a couple of words out, Ed’s exclaiming “You're a Kiwi!!!”
The two of them smile at the shared recognition, and Stede says he’ll make an exception, just for Ed, and asks him what exactly he was interested in. Ed tells him that he's looking for a collar “for his boy”, and points out the particular design he was looking at. It happens to be one of Stede’s favourites from this latest run of work, a fact he mentions to Ed. It leads them into a discussion about Stede’s craft, and Ed’s Izzy, and then everything in between. Ed’s listening intently to the things Stede’s telling him, completely drawn in by the process, and by Stede himself. He watches as Stede stamps Izzy's name into the collar, and Stede even lets him have a go at one of the stamps.
Lucius reappears sometime in the middle of this- only to immediately retreat again, seeing Stede engrossed with Ed. He sets up camp at Pete's booth opposite, watching this man flirt intensely with his boss- and Stede flirt back just as hard. Does Stede even realise he’s doing it? Lucius had known Stede was gay since before Stede even admitted it to himself, but this is on a whole other level.
The pair stand there so long that Izzy comes to look for Ed- the two of them are manning a float on the parade with their crew, and it's past time for them to get geared up. He's already worked up, frustrated to have been left to set up everything alone, when Ed had just gone to see if he could get them both coffee. So maybe he's a bit of a prick, approaching with a brash “where the fuck have you been, Edward”, to which Stede brings the same energy, giving a bitchy “Ed! Do you know this guy?” Izzy tenses, ready to snap, but then Ed cuts in, excitedly telling Stede that this is “his Izzy!” Which confuses the hell out of Stede.
Forgetting his earlier attitude, he asks Ed if he “really named his dog after his friend”, only to be met with confusion right back from Ed at where the hell Stede got the idea he had a dog from. Stede gestures at the bag with the collar in it, to which Ed has to tell him, “oh, no, that's for him.” Ed tells Stede that they're here to run a float for their local leather society, and while Stede is certainly shocked by what Ed’s saying, he's not finding himself… uninterested. It's simply that he’s never even considered any of this before, especially not that people would use the things that he made for this, but Ed sounds so enthusiastic about it all. He tells him about how his friends would love to see Stede’s work, about how classic leather gear is always so fucking boring- but not Stede’s stuff, no, Stede’s stuff is “fresh” and “fascinating” and unlike anything Ed’s ever seen before.
Ed's enthusiasm is incredibly infectious, so when he invites Stede to come back to see their float, he readily agrees. It’s a concept Izzy’s less than enthusiastic about. He doesn’t really want to bring this man who’s dressed like he just walked out of a HOA board meeting to their kinky little corner of the world, but he is having a lot of fun watching Stede squirm, so decides not to raise a protest. He does demand he gets his long-overdue coffee first, though (Stede pays for it- as “compensation for him distracting Ed from his job”, he says, not giving Izzy a second to process before he's tapping his card)
By the time they return to the float, Fang, Ivan & Jim are waiting for them, all already geared up. Stede is stunned silent at the sight for about 5 seconds, before he starts actually looking at the quality of Jim’s harness, and proceeds to go off about the poor quality of the craftsmanship, about how the hardware is tacky and completely the wrong choice with this leather, how his “ten year old daughter could do a better job!!!”
There's complete silence from the group, until Izzy, of all people, bursts into laughter at Stede’s audacity (and, the fact he was staring at Jim's tits completely unabashedly, like he hadn't even noticed them in the first place). Izzy's laughter sets Ed off as he tells the group about Stede’s misunderstanding- “you didn't say he was a person!” “I mean, he's my dog”- and soon everyone's having a friendly giggle at Stede’s mistake.
It's somewhere in the middle of the retelling that Ed remembers that this whole thing happened because he was buying Izzy a gift. After a moments fumbling, he presents Izzy with the collar- It's a rich, deep black, embossed with a rolling pattern that resembles waves. It’s made from a firm enough leather to take the tooling, and to remind Izzy that he’s owned while he’s wearing it, yet still soft enough for long term comfort. Izzy's eyes immediately lock on to it, an unreadable expression coming over his face, and Ed turns it; first so he can really see the design and Izzy’s name embossed into it, and then so he can see the small “Ed ♥” on the inside of the collar, right over his swallow tattoo.
“I did the heart,” Ed says to him softly, intended only for Izzy’s ears. Izzy's eyes flick up to Ed’s, and he raises his chin to give Ed the room to put it on. Ed buckles the collar around his neck almost reverently, a test of the tightness turning into a caress of Izzy's neck. It's a perfect fit.
It's as though something comes over Izzy; so twitchy and abrasive earlier, now silent, staring at Ed with a look akin to worship in his eyes. He obediently tilts his head for a kiss as Ed's fingers move to his chin- It's a sight to behold, and one that has Stede intrigued. He wants to know more about this lifestyle, and these men in particular. He wants to be the one to put that expression on Izzy's face.
The moment breaks as Ed and Izzy pull apart, and Ed calls for the crew to finish the last bits of set up. Izzy shakes himself a little before running off to bark orders again, but even still, there remains a softness to him that wasn't there before.
Ed turns back to Stede with an apologetic smile, already obvious that he has to get going. Before he can speak, however, Stede jumps in -“My business numbers on the card in the box… I'll be around all day”- Ed’s smile turns more genuine at that, promising to stop by if he gets a moment, and that he’ll send his friend's Stede’s way- “if he wants that kind of business.” Stede says that he does, actually- that he's seen a whole new world already today, and, while he was a little taken aback at first, he can feel the passion Ed and his friends have for this life. If there's one thing that's ever mattered to Stede, it's other people's enthusiasm. Maybe he doesn't completely understand yet, but he would like to try.
One year later, Stede’s back at the market on pride weekend again, far better stocked for the crowds this time around. Lucius is finally free to spend the day flirting with Fang & Pete to his heart's content, now that Stede’s roped his own boyfriends into helping him run the stall- and into modelling the merchandise. Ed loves that part, while Izzy needs a lot more convincing, but the puppy eyes Stede & Ed weaponise against him make a very good argument.
#Despite what this post may imply; i actually know very little about the art of leatherwork#Im also not saying Stede got into leatherwork because of his repressed leather kink. But im not not saying that.#(This is not to say that i personally think leather gear is boring- i totally see the beauty in simple/plain designs & i get that the#style is all about the look of straps and hardware. but also. i know in my heart Edward ‘likes a fine thing’ Teach would be head over heels#for fun unique pieces. Its the whimsy of it all)#(not to turn this into OFMD meta but. You can like both; in fact. You can have the leather AND you can have the florals)#ALSO. dont ask me why izzy would find a big difference between wearing gear on the float vs the stand. it just felt right#(ok i do have reasoning. its the directness of it. in the parade its very part-of-a-crowd; every interaction in passing. running the stand#is direct interactions + they are specifically looking at Him. it feels different. but he does it because he loves his partners)#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#edward teach#stede bonnet#izzy hands#israel hands#blackbeard#blackhands#edizzy#gentlehands#stizzy#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#steddyhands#fanfic#sort of... i dont really consider this fic; more. scenario description but ill admit this ended up way closer to fic than i planned#but the weird stylistic choices are because. this wasnt intended as fully fleshed out fic.#i am not a writer & i dont want to be. im just a guy with ideas over here; and the best way to share ideas is through words#(Please dont count the commas per sentence ratio. Thats between me & god)#also. I cant believe i wrote something that can be tagged as gentlebeard centric. Who am i.
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#why do you need this many legs sir#toedscruel#woah holy shit i just looked outside and it's super dark out. i'm queuing this up at noon why is it so dark#lemme look#yeah it's. dark. there's a bunch of dark evil clouds in the sky lookin like it's gonna storm oh i just heard thunder yeah it's gonna storm#uh oh. good thing i'm queueing this guy up before the storm so my power doesn't go out. this happens frequently#anyway toedscruel. it's definitely an evolution of toedscool. it definitely looks like tentacruel#if it's a different pokémon why does it evolve into something so suspiciously similar. i can understand wigglet and wugtrio being#different pokémon. just based on how different they are from diglett and dugtrio. even though their names are a typo away#but this guy is. it. really should've just been a regional form‚ i think#unrelated‚ but on random occasions seemingly whenever someone new finds the blog and reads my tags#i'll occasionally get folks asking me how i type commas in the tags#the answer is that this character → ‚ ← is not a comma. it just looks identical to a comma because of tumblr's font#it's actually a lower quotation mark. so for a language that does ‚this kind’ of quotation marks#and i use it as a comma because i have a fancy linguist keyboard that can type all kinds of fancy symbols. and it's easily accessible#some of my favorites include the single-character ellipse: …#the degrees symbol: º and °#small A: ª#fractions: 1⁄2 2⁄3 1⁄4 etc#and obviously IPA symbols and various diacritics‚ so that i can type the word pokémon without having to copy-and-paste the E#currency symbols‚ too. £¢$§¥ euro is on here somewhere but i don't know where bc i don't use that one really#i just like being able to type things the way they're supposed to be. like it's 80º outside. the stopwatch costs 15¢ in the shop#and‚ of course‚ pokémon. it's the linguistics and computer 'tism combining together i think#it's storming harder now but i found the euro symbol: €#oh fuckin hell my lights just flickered. this is gonna be rough..!
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Hello hello!!! Guess what. Yokai art dump below the cut!! So cool and shiny wow
Its true, I do >u<
I'll try and section these and give the usual explanations below! Image ID for more drawing specific inksplanation.
Click for full image! Since a lotta these are weirdly shaped they were cut off....augh...
McKraken and Maddiman related doodlesssss they're some of my faves <3 i will always love them even if they're not my focus characters atm (well. McKraken kinda is rn but also Babblong so YAY)
Misc. Yokai and ocs! The frog is Kerosque, the guy w the swirly pompadour thing is Swiss, and the monkey is Romono (although he's a Regretevator OC from FOREVER ago, he's still my son <33)
SWISS STUFF RAUGHHHH ! inconsistent style will be APPARENT here try not to notice shuhhhhhgh
Height for main yokai in my AU/on Casp's team! (In the anime it's just primary summons then wwwww)
Some yokai practice/design hcs bc my friend asked!! I was so happy to share 🤭 LOVE YOU CHERCHERRRR
Some of my little guys once more! Rawry' prob one of my faves yokai to draw, easy and fun to do show-accurate or stylized.
OCSSSSSS. AND BADDINYAN. MY EVIL CAT <3333 the guy next to the frog in the middle is an oc idea but idk for what yet =▽=
AUGH. THERES AN IMAGE LIMIT? Well in case you're wondering it's 30....post the rest after I get tomorrow's doodles. See you then and thank you for looking at and reading about my arts!
#Also this is me just rambling now but like where would I be without commas and parenthesis? I love using them#...as I'm sure you've noticed. But that jusy proves my point!!!#I've been so insane about drawing recently like I will sit down and fill a page or so withing like 30 minutes bc I get bored#(Idk how much that I'd in retrospect but per my usual rate that's a Lot!!)#I've been using Swiss bc I wanna decide what to do with him in the AU after Event...#I also project onto him a lot bc some of his personality really reflects my younger self#Although very traditional my mother raised me rather androgynous in terms of typical child stuff. I got to hang with boy and girl stuff so#Swiss has a few aspects of when i hadent (and admittedly still havent) really gotten past my pride or fear in favor of#Oh i don't know#Making friends??? Not being unintentionally or intentionally a jerk?#Fun little fact; it's not really that Swiss is a picky eater#But rather he has some Problems.....#Like that he's really puntable/j#Caspian has tried to have him answer. Anything without lying but unfortunately he just Does That Sometimes#Sometimes it's not even on purpose. Odd but it happens!#Anyways. I could go on and on but it's almost midnight over here....I really am.like Babblong jajaja ○u○#□ yolo watch 2!#yokai watch#●posts from yomakai#yo kai watch#I'll just tag those with at least 3 appearances methinks#Aswell as ocs bc I flatter myself!!#Caspian ykw#Swiss ykw#Kerosque#Fuwhirl#McKraken#Dr Maddiman#Baddinyan#Casanuva
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[Start ID. A three-circle venn diagram with Gabriel from Ultrakill, the Lonely Wizard from Inscryption, and the Hollow Knight from the game of the same name. Between Gabriel and Lonely is the text "guys will see a character with vague biology, say 'is anyone gonna buggify that' and not wait for an answer". Between Lonely and Hollow is the text "void beings placed in solitary confinement by a superior they admired with the intention of keeping them there forever". Between Hollow and Gabriel is the text "existed only to be a tool for their god. just wants to be perfect. never allowed to be a person". In the center between all three is just the word "trauma". End ID
having Thoughts
#peridots-nonsense#gabriel ultrakill#ultrakill#lonely wizard inscryption#inscryption#hollow hk#hollow knight#...need a doodle tag actually. is this art???#know i said i'd stop tagging it like this just yesterday but#peridots-art#this is a little rushed because i'm trying to post it at 4:20 my time because it would be awesome.#...i don't smoke i just get really excited about having a specific number to obsess over and it's funny#inspired by the tags on a gabriel post and my own personal thoughts about these dudes.#think that should be all. it's the time now#alright came back after. technogender's tags on a nov 5th post by feyfeather#hit a comma for the second time but not revising it the post was about gabe but it really reminded me of thk...#*feathers plural. as for the lw-focused sides i've been thinking about their parallels with hollow for a good while actually#and the last one's literally just. i like to give gabe/pyro (under suit)/lonely insect-like anatomy. what are you gonna do about it#that's ACTUALLY all. goodbye tag-wanderer. hope this is. inchresting#OH right also if you see the disproportionate amount of attention given to gabriel's doodle no you don't#1.5 HOURS LATER REALIZED I MADE A TYPO GRRR HISS#you did NOT SEE IT#I DO NOT MAKE TYPOS HERE. BUILT DIFFERENT.#peridots-described
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mother of mine
#my art#homestuck#jade harley#wq#also really proud of this one#everything just came together really nicely :D#it makes me illlll#more people should think about jade and the carapacians#actually everything surrounding prospit and jade makes me ill oh my god#her corpse in the attic constantly aware that her second life (persay) is going to die and just having to Deal with it. she just has to let#go of prospit where she had people comma friends#who love you comma or more so worship you#and being utterly aware of the fact of how alien you are#i’m wording this poorly but you get it#ONE DAY i’ll make a post about it that explains my thoughts waaaay better#also somethingsomething prospits first mother <i cannot remember for the life of me if#there were carapacian children (in like the game session time line)
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How Does it Feel to Read Classic Sci-Fi?
Orson Scott Card: Two of the most interesting books you’ll ever read if you’re willing to look past a handful of things. And then you find the planet of Chinese people who worship having debilitating OCD. And the Mormonism. And the fact that the author is wildly homophobic and ought to read his own books.
Robert Heinlein (or at least the Wikipedia Summaries): I guess that’s a neat concept—oh, it’s a sex thing. Um. Gotcha.
Ray Bradbury: Man, I gotta read this thing for class huh. Well here’s hoping it’s good! *three hours later* oh. that’s why he’s famous. this will stick with me forever and I will never look at the phrase ‘soft rain’ the same again. christ. And then repeat 3x.
Isaac Asimov: Wow, this is such an interesting concept! I wonder how the exploration of it will influence the plot! Wait, hey, are you going to add any characters? Any of em? No like, with character traits other than ‘robot psychologist’ and ‘autistic’ and ‘woman’? None of em? No, ‘detective’ isn’t a character trait. Those are all just facts. Aaaand now I’m bored.
Ursula K. Le Guin: Hah, get a load of this guy! He’s never heard of nonbinary people before. Lol, what a riot; how dumb do you have to be to comprehend that these people aren’t men *or* women actually? Oh, wait, what’s happening. Oh shit, it was about society and love and learning to understand each other? And now I’m crying? And perhaps a better human being for it??
Andy Weir: Alright, this guy’s a really good writer. Funny, creative, knows so much engineering stuff…ooh, a new book! …I guess he can’t write women. Well, he wouldn’t be the first sci-fi writer…ooh another new book! And it’s more engineering problem solving and—wow. It’s not just women he can’t write. Please stop letting your characters talk to each other.
Lois Lowry: Oh, I remember this being fun when I was a kid! Wouldn’t it be fucked up to not see color? …upon reread, it would be fucked up to have your humanity stripped away, replaced with a tepid, beige ‘happiness’ for all time. Yeah.
Tamsyn Muir (let me have this ok): Haha, “lesbian necromancers in space” sounds fun. Lemme read this. Oh wow, yeah, this is right up my alley. OH GOD WHAT. NO. FUCK. OH SHIT WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING AND WHY IS IT REFERENCING THE BOOK OF RUTH AND HOMESTUCK BACK TO BACK!!! AHHHHHHHHH!! Now give me more please.
#Late night book reviews with Bluejay#Not really#and it’s 1pm#If you’re curious which books#or just wanna read another essay:#Card: Ender’s Game and Speaker for the Dead are good* and the rest is Fucking Bonkers. Xenocide is the one called out specifically#Heinlein: Stranger in a Strange Land’s Wikipedia page but my understanding is it’s not the only book Like That#Bradbury: short story “There Will Come Soft Rains” will fuck your up; double if you check out the comic. See also “All Summer…” and °F 451#Asimov: I; Robot is the specific ref but also its sequel novels where you’d more expect real characters and not just fact lists also#Le Guin: Left Hand of Darkness specifically but also I just love her lmao#Weir: The Martian then Artemis then Project Hail Mary#Lowry: the only stuff of her’s I’ve read is The Giver Quartet but I was shocked how good it was upon revisiting. Damn. That’s pointed.#Muir: Gideon the Ninth and its sequels. They’re so good. Read them. You will be confused by book two. That’s on purpose. They’re so good.#Yes don’t come at me for my tag formatting; 140 chars isn’t a lot. You try getting all three Bradbury titles in there#Also the lack of commas is an issue#Anyways I would rec basically all of these if you like sci-fi save for SiaSL (haven’t read it) and all of the Ender’s Game/SftD spinoffs#Also if you do wanna read Card’s work pls get the books 2nd hand or from a library. Or via the 7 seas. His money goes to homophobia :(#But most of em are good and all of em are classics for a reason (save for Muir who really should be lmao)#Also also don’t come at me for including Weir; he’s one of the most popular sci-fi authors AND came up in the discussion that prompted this#As did everyone else except Muir because that one is actually just self indulgent.#I worked so hard to tag the first few things such that it would be clear there was an essay beneath the tag cut#Anyways tags for like actual categorization n such:#orson scott card#robert heinlein#ray bradbury#isaac asimov#ursula k. le guin#andy weir#lois lowry#tamsyn muir
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Why is my mom asking if I've read Worm?
#only explanation given was 'book talk'#she referred to it as 'worm [comma] an online series'#have i read worm? no but it does feel like i should have#'really long text only deconstruction of superhero tropes featuring hundreds of characters moral ambiguity elaborate schemes etc'#is definitely the kind of story i enjoy#and ive picked up enough via tumblr to enjoy some of the memes and meta#but the stars have never aligned for me to actually read the thing#ill get to it at some point#worm
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maybe someday it'll all be okay // Star Butterfly character study
"And if I keep myself busy, I won't be able to mess up anything else."
-Collateral Damage, s2
avvfvl on tumblr // fromdarzaitoleeza on Instagram // unknown // unknown // David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories // Franz Kafka, the metamorphosis // Jane Austen // Gilded Lily - cults // Clementine von Radics, In A Dream You Saw A Way To Survive // Franz Kafka, Letters to Felice // unknown // Sandy - Alex G // Void - Teamonade // Most of the Time - Turnover // Celeste Ng, Little Flies Everywhere
insp
#amary adds to the archive#<- orig posts tag#as you can tell im EXTREMELY normal abt Star :))) SOOOOO normal#she's is just like me fr fr#please tell me if any sources are wrong :') i tried my best but I haven't been able to get much sleep recently so there might be some error#guide to my formatting:#(username) on (platform)#(author) comma (book name)#(song) - (artist)#sorry if that's confusing!!!#decided to use some storyboards and poster covers since I really loved the raw emotion in them#the BFM one is made by Hug-Bees on tumblr#starcrushed poster is made by Evon Freeman#love their work sm <333#web weaving#web weave#star butterfly#svtfoe#star vs foe#star vs the forces of evil#star vs
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riding a wave of depression to the end of the worst year of my life and realizing that there’s not really anyone i feel safe confiding in… cool, cool, very cool…
#i don’t really have anything to say anyway…#i just feel bad. because things have been bad#it’s pretty simple#i’ve given far more of myself than i think ever existed in the first place and i feel hollow and broken#and all i want is a job offer on the other side of the country so i can run away to a safe place and heal myself#but i’m not getting that until January at the earliest and February or March more likely…#so until then i just have to keep applying for more and going through the motions of life#i am truly BANKING on my ‘winter break’ to make me feel better#bc i feel sooooooo bad rn#i don’t wanna do anything or talk to anybody#but i have to do bird counts all weekend#so no rest for me until Monday#and on Monday i have to help my friend with shit and hang out#and i don’t WANT to hang out#i don’t want to see anyone - i can’t do this anymore#John Darnielle really knew what he was doing when he titled a song ‘No I Can’t.’ with the comma and period included#cuz like. exactly!#NO!!!!!!! I CAN’T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#(and yet i keep going on like everything is fine)#(haha)#i’m not dying don’t worry#i will be fine once i can TRULY rest#this has just been the worst year of my life and i am grappling with that#and the vast unknowns of the future
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eyyy dgs grind!!!! best of luck, i love the dgs game and mayb i can be motivated to continue them if you’re doing it too
gonna hit you with the “how are you liking it?” again,,,, even though you just picked it up again,,, you get what i mean
comma anon,,,, 🥺🥺 hello!! :3
with you here, that means at least two (2) whole people are interested in my thoughts abt this game !!!! so i'll probably post blurbs at the end of each case about what i thought abt it :D i'll hide each case behind a read more so no accidental spoilers o7
my thoughts so far!! i REALLY loved the first case of this game... i loved the characters (Ryuunosuke was so endearing omfg) (and hosonaga i do adore),, and i also thought the mystery of it was really strong, especially for a first case. So far….. I do however have to agree with a sentiment I've seen that the cases drag on a little long... (probably part of why i took a break in the first place)
OH AND SHOLMES IS BETTER THAN I COULD'VE EVER EXPECTED <3333 my friend and i have been joking abt sholmes for years before either of us even touched ace attorney, so its wonderful to see he's exceeded all our expectations
and YEAHHH I HOPE YOU PICK IT BACK UP TOO !!! we can buddy check each other :D
#ty comma anon for the ask <33333#this is a very funny and silly thing#but i think another part of why i took a break after case 3 was#i had this close friend who lives in ireland#and she got really distant around the time i started playing the 3rd case#so it was (embarassingly) really difficult for me to play the case without thinking of her and getting sad ahah#:((#i pushed through the case and finished it but ig the bad vibes were just kinda too much at the time
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some advice i see a lot regarding how to tell if someone is a fictive or just a character that the person is imagining is to try to imagine them doing something they wouldn't and see if it feels wrong or if they flat out refuse but i was wondering is there any way to tell if you've just imagined them refusing? like, if it's more in character for them to do so is that not simply where your mind would go? how can you tell whether there's a person behind it or whether it's just that your mind itself doesn't want to cooperate??
Honestly, I'm not sure how to answer that. BUT, it does remind me of when our old host met Jaiden (not a fictive) and they read that a way to check if someone is really sentient, you do this specific exercise about balancing a feather on their noise or something. Honestly none of us remember the point of it or how it would have worked, but what happened was, Jaiden was already Real. He split real, Jamie just wasn't sure (thank you denial). Because Jaiden cared about Jamie, he indulged him and did the exercises. But it would go on for DAYS to the point where Jaiden literally told Jamie to just "stop". "I'm real!" and even if Jamie told him to do these exercises, it was annoying him.
So yes, having them do something they'd like is an option. But have you considered annoying them to the point where they snap at you?? SKDFJS
OF COURSE DONT like. put yourselves on bad terms. but its something to think about. A lot of the time when we're in denial, the person we/the current front is in denial about, starts getting annoyed, and then we feel bad about hurting their feelings.
So I'm not your therapist and I can't tell you what's what- but I guess you could also think.. "If I annoyed them, and they react badly to me annoying them, and that feeling of them scolding me makes me feel bad.. why would I ever make that up?"
Also give it some time. Sometimes if a split is new (or you think someone just split) it'll be hard to tell. Denial is a BITCH. If you already are used to having alters or system members in general, The fictive who just split WILL eventually be comfortable enough to be "concrete enough" with you, if they already even know who they are. maybe your brain itself is still figuring things out. We talk about splitting as a community a lot--where spliting is usually depicted as like this FAST thing. but sometimes its slow! which DOESNT help if youre trying to figure out if you have someone or not!
#ask#Anonymous#and then of course tehres like. so many different factors like sure maybe its ocd or something#but anyway yeah#i do not recommend HARASSING people but im NOT a good role model so. nudging them a little might do something#bc like with ANY ALTER (not just fictives) a lot of the advice tends to be 'get a reaction out of them' lol#Talk to them?#im going to stop talking now because i feel like if i do my advice will actually get like really bad and you should NOT just listen to me g#'annoy them!!!' BAHAHA#-SUSIE / blurry susie i gyuess#ANYWAY HOPE IT GOES WELL!#be patient with YOURSELF and be patient with this possible fictive#its valid to live life being like 'idk' and then find out the actual answer a week or two later or more#i mean yk some systems only find out they had a fictive of someone YEARS later /gen yk#not funnier as a fictive#sorry its long lol.....#i also dont usually use commas but i used them here so im a little more comprehensible
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"He is survived by his wife Marcia and his children, Connor, Kendall, Siobhan and Roman Roy."
Roman youngest child confirmed?
#posting this on its own since i don't have enough followers to really get a response#but yeah!!#that lack of oxford comma also making me think shiv and roman really are twins#roman roy#kendall roy#shiv roy#connor roy#succession#succession spoilers
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Life is Fear (and That’s Ok)
an unprofessional but therapeutic evening essay-ish on childhood joy, growth, change, life, and overcoming fear.
childhood is joy. a relentless, uncomparable, naive little joy that everyone experiences. it is a constant wonder and interest about this world; the love of new things, the finding of hobbies, and the making of friends. childhood is joy that ever persists, focused and certain about a personal little world of your making. an imagination of expression focused on making your own joy. it can never be replicated.
growth is change. growth is knowing where babies come from. growth is understanding the consequences for your actions. growth is considering the opinions, rules, and abilities of others. growth is having, losing, and making new friends.
growth is consciousness gained. growth is understanding. growth is discovering more about the world—something you always wanted. it is good to have, as it is required for life.
but it’s not what you want.
you want joy, so you recede into nostalgia. walling off the ability to appreciate the further levels of joy you have access to in this new world. the little things become inconsequential, people hard to read, and conflict overwhelming. coping happens in different ways with grief, and sometimes help is needed.
“required for life this and that.” you just lost something. where did it go? why can’t you have it back? could you have done something to make it stay longer? why didn’t that something work?
so many things begin when childhood ends. it should be exciting, as it is new, but it is sad. it’s biological. it’s mental. it’s encompassing. it changes your worldview. it erases the joyful life you had before.
you know now.
you know so much more now.
how was this gained information useful? where and when do you have to use it?
life is fear. fear of change. fear of responsibility. fear of failure. fear of the constants of taxes, struggle, balance, and death.
you are not prepared.
life is a story about grief about the loss of childhood joy. the mere ability of comprehending the world gives so much, but overwrites the comfort of endless unyielding happiness. you have changed. you are uncomfortable. you are afraid. you feel as though you are on your own.
but life is a fear that must be overcome.
life is a journey of identity, hobbies, habits, friendmaking, passions, discovery, and the love of new things. you are finding you. there will never be another you, and that matters because there is one path to take: forward on the road of you.
phases, changes, and growth will happen. you will be sad to see parts of you change, grow, and branch into something else.
but childhood prepared you for this.
adolescence taught you about growth, but childhood did too. it told you about the love of making what you believe and find joy in, and it taught you grief. a lesson on life to the fullest.
change is growth. change is grief. loss is perception and preparation, and is a journey in itself. it exists to teach, to grow, and help you understand.
childhood, change, growth, and grief help you overcome your fear of life. because life is a fear. it will never stop being a fear. but you have and will have more abilities to persevere. life is fear that can be overcome.
life is positive as it is negative. it’s a thing to understand, handle, and connect with. it is something given and comes with unending potential for fulfillment, community, and learning. joy is still possible past the boundary of childhood—outlets to it will never go away. life is full of uncertainty, but it is what you make it. and you deserve joy, so create joy. it may be harder, but it is possible.
you are loved. you have been through so much, and have come out the other side. you deserve comfort and joy, but change and growth too.
you deserve life and fulfillment, and will never stop deserving that. good things will come your way. keep an eye out for them!
💛
#writing this helped me release a lot of emotions#i’ve always been one to fear change but it isnt a hypocrite move. fearing change is normal. things are not forever#childhood and the loss of it is one of the biggest lessons there is#everyone goes through it. no one’s ever alone in it. everyone around you has gone through this.#i guess this could qualify as a vent thing (comma) but it might be more of a self-study? if that’s the term to use?#i’m psychoanalysing myself#i have a tag for this >>#figuringmyselfout#i don’t mean to be firm in these tags. all of you are loved and not alone 💛#i’m doing alright i just needed to get this out. writing helps a lot i highly reccomend#i really like essays…oh man i still havent shared my radiation + lotf essay stuff. christmas break means higher chance of getting to stuff.#we’ll see ig#mental health#mental wellness#mental wellbeing#change#growth#the five stages of grief#stages of grief#grief#grieving#grief journey#writing#childhood#childhood joy#loss of childhood#growing up#dealing with grief#dealing with loss#puttingpen2paper
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i did okay i guess
#so i got a b in the other exam#it might have been a more difficult one because one person in my friend group in that course actually failed it#unfortunately i can't see the average on this exam but i might have done fairly well#i can't really complain when others failed the exam#at least i almost got full points on the quiz but the writing part let me down a bit#it's just a bit anoying because so many of the grammar mistakes were actually typos 😩🤦♀️ like i know how to write these words correctly#but i type so fast on the computer sometimes the letters of a word get switched up and i don't notice it oof 🥲#and i didn't have time to proofread it otherwise i might have noticed#altough i'm just a bit oblivious to my own mistakes if i had to read someone elses text i would notice surely#i also forgot a few commas or put them in the wrong place never were not my strong suit altough i got better with it#this might also have to do with ranting here on tumblr too much lmao 😅 i'm getting into the habit of typing too fast haha#just a bit unnecessary but i still have the 2nd exam and homework also accounts for something#an a is still possible#i keep thinking about what if only i got 2 more points on the quiz and another 2 on the writing task (if only i made less silly mistakes) 🥲#just missed an a by 3.5 points#but i have to believe i will do even better on the 2nd and get enough points for an a overall#i will bother my professor with sending him many practice writing texts before the next exam and also try simulate the time restrictions#because otherwise i can write so well if i have time to think how to correct and improve my texts but i need to be able to find mistakes#also in shorter amounts of time
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