#the characters are more important at the end of the day bc the story is VERY character focused
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as someone who isnt super excited for sotm for certain reasons I am really glad that like. it's clear that since ruin theyve been setting up for carnival and sotm IS carnival. so now that carnival is finally coming out, afterwards theyll be moving on to other plotlines since the main villain stuff is sorted out
I'm just rlly happy to finally see a clear direction for how the story is gonna be playing out with like "okay these games were leading up to this so after this will be open possibilites" instead of like. absolutely no info about each upcoming game and being left guessing before it releases and just having to wait and see what's in it and if anything you're looking forward to will be in it
it feels like they have a plan and a solid direction for what they're trying to do and after carnival releases thatll be all that buildup coming to fruition. & we already know from the Scott interview that theres another release 'beyond sotm' that's 'super exciting' so maybe thatll be focusing on another big currently untouched (which is basically all of them) plotline, or even the big campaign game that dawko has been calling security breach 2
#even if i dislike how theyve been handling this whole mimic cassies dad factory mapbot bonnie bully stuff#the past like 2 releases 3 after sotm#after watching johns theory video it really does feel like stuff was more purposeful with thought put into it when u plug in cassies dad#even if the plot of him being behind mxes and trapping mimic is pushing other more important characters aside#its probably what happened and accepting that makes the story at least seem more thought out#it did make me feel better about it bc like. it at least feels like theyre cooking#like what theyre working on DOES have a direction and a plan and it isnt just random stuff like how it felt when hw2 came out#i might still think that the stuff theyve been doing the past few releases is boring af and uninteresting#compared to earlier concepts like focusing on vanny and the possession aspects and sentient glamrocks#(we could see more of it with freddy if theyd let him come back ever)#but like. at least it has thought put into it and feels like theyre actually trying to set shit up for something#like sotm is an ORIGIN#the tagline was 'sometimes you have to understand the past to see the future'#at the end of the day sotm is a setup for a campaign thatll take place in present day anf#even if its taking ten thousand years to get there im excited for it#aka its taken a long time to tell this story setup of cassies dad and mimic and shit and it might be boring for some people#(me)#but at the end of the day its meant to be setup explaining the past of why mimic exists (even if that's already in tbe books)#so after we 'understand' it we can get back to present day#and focus on its current victims vanessa gregory cassie etc#cassies dad is 100% dead if hw2s protag is him so he woukdnt be relevant anymore. just another character thing to serve cassie#im just saying like after sotm its wide open for getting back to the plot#and i think its actually right to say that bc like all of this has been setup. if hw2 protag is cassies dad its a prequel to ruin#so rn ruin is the most recent game in the timeline. meaning the next game that takes place in current tjme will focus on the current mains#Gregory cassie vanessa#sorry for fnaf plot posting again ive been thinking about it a lot the past few days#thought id balance some negative ive posted with a positive since im feeling better about it myself :)#one day we're gonna be so back and its gonna be great#its just gonna be a long annoying wait lmao#thoughts
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I think the biggest reason I struggled to connect with the Inquisitor as a character is because of the 'chosen one' trope
#and also bc the inquisitor imo becomes too important too quickly#i like stories where you have to drag through mud for people to respect you#like even in DA2 it's only in the third act where you get some cred to your name#in DAO you're busting your ass saving people and there's still some who'll criticize you#and i didn't feel that with the inquisitor?#like very quickly lots of people are asking help from the inquisition and you're put in this place of savior#and it's weird bc at the same time i'm being told this#by the NPCs and the narrative#i don't *feel* that?#like i know that the inquisitor is important and all but i don't get that feeling#idk how to explain#like its feels like i'm being told how important the inquisition has been for keeping the peace#and how we're helping so many people#but i don't feel that#which is strange right bc i felt that in dao#i got the dwarves elves and mages on my side and like whenever i was done with the main quests and order was restored to that place#and an NPC would be like thank you we'll help you fight the archdemon#i felt like i was doing something important#when the other characters from DA2 and DAI talk about how important the warden was for them it makes sense to me#i think the main thing is that the warden and hawke made me feel things but the inquisitor didn't#i'm playing as Adaar now and it's been more fun than with lavellan#but that feeling of i know the inquisitor is important but it doesn't feel that way is still there#and also i just really don't like chosen one narratives#bc like...ok let's look at the warden#yes the GW are the only ones who can end the blight but the warden is not the only warden there#there's still alistair or loghain#and also you have to really work your ass to get shit done in DAO with limited resources and a bounty on your head#and people will even say that the wardens aren't that necessary#and then you have hawke#who was literally a nobody
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on today's episode of 'acaica's background thoughts for the dess raises kris au': okay but lets be serious do dess and chara actually stay together in the end--
#drkau#chatter#i debate over this point SO OFTEN LOL#they are BACKGROUND characters. like medium at best.#dess (or asriel or both you can argue any way) is the catalyst for everything but at the end of the day this is a kids story#and noelle IS still going to be the main character#but. man. does desschara work it out#their dynamic will be by far one of the hardest ones to write it think#it is very messy and very complicated and neither of them make great choices#and ive been writing a test piece of them for a WHILE#which. was good to get a decent nail of their characters as they stand in this au#but introduced SO MUCH MORE MESS. bc chara is aroace and 100% has some trauma and fucked-up feelings around sex#but xe DOES have sex with dess. and its like. does xe fully consent to it? yes!#does dess check in to be sure hey you're down bc she knows chara is ace while she isnt? also yes!!!#by the books they do everything right its just. chara is very very very good at rationalizing things.#and xe is. not actually as okay with this as xe is trying to be. and in fact this is very unhealthy for xir#(and then theres this whole OTHER layer of dark worlds and prophecies and everything that leads to frisk being born)#and its like. man. Man. this is so much to juggle#just everything between desschara is jngdfg they are trying their bests but it really is not going that well#bc they meet at like. 19-20 i think and chara's had nobody at all and sorta keeps chasing being someone's most important person#and dess has never had someone who has understood her on a level like chara#who really truly gets what shes about as a person and how she operates in the world#and its just a perfect storm really. and they both have kids and dess did technically kidnap hers just a little bit#and she never tells that to chara. and she tries but she cannot stay in place with xir#and chara couldnt hate her bc. again. has never experienced unconditional love#or love at all really </3 so instead of ever having hard conversations xe will brush it all under the rug#and sorta just enable dess's worse impulses. even sometimes at the expense of their literal children#ITS MESSY YALL. AND LIKE.#at the end of the day we'll see lol maybe they work it out maybe they dont. i have no idea. ive gotta write the thing#and if dr chapters 3&4 come out that could complicate things even FURTHER--
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I was wondering if you were okay with people making fanfiction or fanart of your Working for E.V.I.L. au? With credit, of course.
Aw dude, if someone made that type of stuff I’d happy cry /pos
But yeah no, go for it!! And if y’all do make anything please tag me in it so I can see what you’ve made!! (And so I can print it out and staple it to my wall-)
Both fanfiction and fanart are allowed, and I can’t think of anything in particular I wouldn’t want people to depict or write about so ya’ll are free to do whatever! Even if it’s like, idk, x reader stuff or theories or story predictions, go wild!
#asks#working for e.v.i.l. au#A part of me feels bad about the whole story aspect because I really haven’t given many crumbs regarding it yet#the characters are more important at the end of the day bc the story is VERY character focused#but still#I wish I could get some of the comics I have planned out now but grrr grr school work
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I stumbled into another facet of this due to a less-than-ideal ttrpg experience. Sometimes the fantasy is What If Everything Were Fucking Easy, Actually
I understand and respect that a lot of people want to be challenged by their games! I’ve watched lots of meta for fromsoft games and the like, I understand why working hard at things and mastering skills down to the frame is satisfying!
It is hard for me to go piss.
Recognising I have to piss, initiating Time To Go Piss protocol, standing up, walking to the bathroom, lowering myself safely to the toilet, and so on? It is physically and mentally hard—and painful!—for me.
When I sit down to play a videogame or gather around the table for a session, I want to live a fantasy where not only are mundane things like going to the grocery store or washing dishes not a gauntlet, but I can do AMAZING THINGS with minimal effort and feel cool doing it. I don’t want zero challenge from my games but please. Just for a few minutes or hours. I want to live in a world where things ARE fucking easy.
a reminder to my fellow disabled people it isn't wrong or make you less of a player for using accessibility options.
a reminder that playing on a low difficulty only or (like with games with minecraft) no difficulty
a reminder that using unlimited health options like in cult of the lamb is not bad or wrong and you are no less of a player for using it
turning brightness high on horror games like tattletale whether its because you are visually impaired or because you cannot handle the fear a low-light scene can cause.
disabled people are not any less a gamer for needing accessibility options. we are not any less a gamer for playing the game on easy. we are not any less a gamer because we are disabled and might not be able to get all the achievements or trophies or whatever a game has available.
we deserve to be able to enjoy the games we want to play
#I really liked the stealth mechanics in p5 even tho they were baby mode easy even for me#but they Felt Cool#I would rather a mechanic be kind of a joke but Feel Cool#anyway re: ttrpgs#our DM wanted to make things more gritty and ‘realistic’—cool!#mechanically this meant short rests took 24 hours and long rests took 72 hours#and multiple times he interrupted our attempts to rest#at low levels it was gruelling. especially for our casters where it was like here’s the spells you have for this entire arc#and it resulted in us as a group not wanting to pursue story hooks bc like. why would any sane being go back into the forest#where they spent several days being nearly dead before being two characters short of a TPK that we had to be deus ex machina’d out of#I ended up choosing the champion route LITERALLY JUST SO I COULD GET RALLY#I feel bad bc like. I don’t think it was the experience our DM wanted either#and the good thing is it made me think a lot about what’s important to me in gaming#but yeah it was. not fun.#anyway. re: ttrpgs that’s part of why session zeros are important so you can have those conversations#but also you don’t always know what you do and don’t want until you hit it
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i love near so goddamn much. i finally read the c-kira and a-kira post-canon one shots all the way through last night and AAAAAAAAA my heart. nate river 🫵🫵🫵
c-kira in particular hits me hard bc you can really see that he's still reeling from the events of the main story. it’s a very specific era of near that’s so horribly awkward and insecure about his place in the world, about his role as L, and has so very few people left behind to support him-- really just lidner, rester, and gevanni. so much of that story is about near struggling to figure out who he is and who he wants to be in the wake of Everything, scrambling around in the shadows of all these false gods and blown up egos, trying to grow up and be a Person in the smoking remains of all these people who killed themselves with their own hubris. i mean, just look at this page:
LOOK AT THIS. near is almost shockingly expressive in this story, his grief and regret is fucking Palpable in a way that you very rarely see with a guy like him. it really gets to me that this is the story where near actually opens up about his mixed feelings surrounding the original L, about the interview he held where he picked near & mello out to be his two successors, and all while hiding himself within these massive card towers that you only see to be these giant L's at the end-- a kid barely out of his teens already getting dwarfed by the enormity of the history he is expected to continue and represent. the winner of the game who's only prize is the legacy he now holds on his shoulders, the grief he is cursed with as the only one left behind. this kid barely has anyone now, never even got the chance to truly, fully know what he lost in the first place, these all-powerful figures that have dictated every inch of his life from the moment he stepped foot in that damn house.
and i mean, goodness. what did we expect? i can talk all i want about the cinematic parallels of light & L as opposites, but look at near & mello in literally every piece of official art-- near truly loses his other half when mello dies, and you can just Feel the discomfort, the deep-seated, underlying imbalance in his soul through this shit.
a-kira near, on the other hand, has had the time to grow a bit more at ease with himself, but he still gets to me in a slightly different way. i cannot emphasize enough how utterly fucking perfect the decision to make his hair longer is-- for so simple of a detail, it really sums up so much about his character. this version of an older near feels like a guy who's been stuck outside of time for ages, barely even noticing the constant shifts of the outer world as he holes himself up in his room, hardly aware of the way that his own body stretches and grows and changes with each passing day. doing his job, all just for a bit of entertainment. there is still that distinctly privileged, childish part of him that hides in his forts of toys and makes whatever demands he pleases, but it's more smoothed over, more exhausted, more Done.
he's packed away the grief by this point. dealt with it properly? not necessarily. but the wound isn't as raw now so he can set it aside to be ignored or looked over more easily, focus on the things that he wants to. blow up his toys when they don't meet his standards.
i strikes me as important that near's view on the new kira's shifts so much over the course of even just these two little stories. in the c-kira story, near is so Quick to shit on the new guy as fast as possible, literally snarking him into submission with the fear of his presence alone until he writes his own name down. we never see this "cheap" kira, this pathetic fake that couldn't possibly stand up to the original. (projecting a little there, nate?) he's barely more than a panel or two of hands, and then he disappears from the story forever.
in a-kira though, you get something a little more desperate, a little more hungry-- near really fucking wants to meet this new guy, purely for the sake of talking to him, and is a lot quicker to respect him & the depth of how well he's thought through this plan. at first it seems like he's intrigued by the idea of finally finding yet another equal, someone to match his freak after years of standing on his own, and knowing DN you're inclined to trust that the mind games will eventually happen. but, in the end...
he loses. and doesn't he seem so happy about it?
minoru really is the perfect match for near in a way-- a new, passive kira, uninterested in the bullshittery of killing and shinigami and evil murder diaries, to reflect and match the tired, new L who was done with his job before he even started doing it. RIP minoru dying due to shinigami bullshit, but i'm genuinely happy that this is the ending near gets, the chance to finally lose at something without having to pay the price of human lives for it. winning has almost never been a truly positive thing for near-- his winning wammy's house only gave him the many pressures & stresses of a job as L, his winning against light only gave him a dead mello and a notebook to quietly burn, hell, all of this shit happening at all is what made mello resent him so much in the first place.
but now he can lose. and i think he's all the better for it.
near is immature, yes, he bossy and snarky and blows up his toys without giving a fuck what anyone else has to say-- but he doesn't get ahead of himself in the way that light and L and the others did, a trait which ultimately lets him win but also leaves him behind to shoulder the grief of a generation. but now he can lose, he can let the fate of the world fall of his shoulders for just a moment, and everything is still going to be okay. it's good to see him getting older. it's good to see that you can still move on and grow, even when it seems like the legacies of the past are locking you away in a cage. i'm glad these manga exist, and i'm glad near can still make it out alive.
#death note#astronaut rambles#near#nate river#NATE RIVERRR#a-kira#c-kira#'short little post' i need to stop lying to myself. do your fucking homework apples
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Statement of : Gordon Martinez Freeman, 30 year old MIT graduate,Regarding a peculiar video game he’d found.
Recorded direct from subject, May 16, 200-
Statement begins.
Pt 1 > here
ABOUT 👇
Hello! I am the author of this AU, you can find my main at @inkzectz , for more meta questions about this AU, or for general comments about it, please go there.
What is the AU about?
LA : AI is a crossover AU of sorts, in the simplest way put, it’s TMA but with HLVRAI characters, TMA stuff happens but altered to fit the general HLVRAI narrative, and with my own changes, headcanons, etc. added
I will be updating/editing this post as I progress.
Will it have spoilers?
Disclaimer!!
The AU will have a lot of the original themes of hlvrai and more so TMA, more so, horror themes, this will include gore, body horror, worms, decomposition, cult themes, psychological horror, arachnophobia,flashing imagery, etc.
(Will update as I go on)
I also feel it is important to mention this is the first time I have ever made a ask blog/ web comic/ published a story online, I will make mistakes, please bare with me as I am trying to figure things out.
English is not my first language, I do my best to grammar check and write well, but at the end of the day I will also be making mistakes.
Please be patient with me.
This au is a passion project of mine that I am doing on my free time because I want to, it is important to remember as a reader, I do not owe you anything.
It is best if you’ve seen it but as of writing it right now (early ep 4) there aren’t any spoilers. Once I am a little further ahead then you may want to listen to it.
Yes, not a lot, but vague/mild spoilers about how the world works, plot points, and character.
Again the spoilers will be vague and mild at worst, as it progresses I would recommend listening to tma, but it’s sort of like how while half life knowledge is helpful in hlvrai it isn’t exactly necessary to enjoy hlvrai bc it’s different enough from it to not really matter (?) I hope that makes sense.
Asks rules
- No telling [ player ] exactly what happens ex : “omg [ player ] when you weren’t looking [ npc ] said this very important thing that is supposed to be kept secret for lore reasons”
- Please avoid asks like “tell this character they’re pretty” while I appreciate the compliment, I am trying to write a story and want to keep things as on topic as possible. Instead tell me on my main if you like the art, I’ll probably reply with a doodle or something, just not on here.
- Less so of a rule but more so of a general statement, I will be avoiding asks that either are too close to what happens or if answering would mean progressing the story too quickly, there’s a lot I want to happen and I want time to do it all.
- Another one that’s less of a rule and more of a general thing, if I don’t like what you said I won’t be answering.
- I also sometimes just don’t know how to answer some things.
- Please be respectful of the ships I choose to include and don't force your own, ship wars and such will not be tolerated.
- Please be respectful of others and do not spoil anything, not everyone has listened to TMA and knows it's themes.
I will not be answering everything, I cannot always get to every message so please be respectful of that.
Select character
Character abouts! [ Will be updating as I continue to work on the story ]
[ select ] > Mr. Freeman
> Gordon Martinez ‘Martini’ Freeman
30 y.o . 6’0 . 230lb . Romani / Puertorican . male [ he/him ] . bisexual
[ PLAYER ]
> Lives in Seattle, MIT graduate, left Black Mesa, works as a librarian IRL but also makes money via streaming video games occasionally, in real time it is 2018.
> Believes in the paranormal out of fear but tries to rationalize out of denial, he will never admit something is supernatural and will jump through hoops to rationalize even if deep down he does believe.
> Has a son named Joshua Medrano Freeman, who is 6 years old, Gordon and his old partner met in college but split up before Joshua was born, they remain civil but are nothing more to each other than Joshua’s other parent.
> Gordon rents an apartment with 3 rooms, his own room, Joshua’s room, and a third that used to be a guest room but he has so little visitors he’s just chosen to revamp it into a gaming room.
> Gordon works primarily in a library for now as he’s looking for a better job.
> Gordon often wears hoodies, sweaters, t-shirts, crew necks, and any general outfit one would wear at home, long curly hair that is beginning to grey due to stress, unkempt goatee, and almost always wears green tinted glasses [ he doesn’t need glasses he just thinks they’re cool ]
> His hair is usually pulled back in a ponytail but can also be found in a bun or just down.
< [ select ] > Mr. Coolatta
> Thomas ‘Tommy’ Coolatta, primary researcher, and technical head of the institute.
39 y.o . 6’7 . 190lb . Chinese/filipino . Male [ he/him ] . ???
[ NPC ]
> His father owns the Lambda institute and he grew up in it, he officially started working in the archives when he was 24, and of all the employees in the entire institute he has worked there the longest.
> No one knows who his father really is, Tommy being the only one who’s ever actually seen / spoken to him, his father is the real head of the institute but gives most his orders through Tommy, so Tommy is also technically the head as well.
> Not much is actually known about him, besides his father he doesn’t appear to have any other family, nor does he ever speak of his personal life much.
> Tommy primarily works as an archival assistant, specifically in research, he is the one who will verify details regarding statements or do further investigations into aspects of the statements.
> Tommy is quite the colorful character, often wearing colorful clothing and accessories, he seems to think doing so brings some cheer into an otherwise boring environment, he often wears patterned polo shirts, cheap company bracelets, pins, lanyards, pant chains, but is never without his signature multicolor propeller hat.
#Lambda archives : AI#LA:AI ep 1#hlvrai#hlvrai au#la:ai#tma au#half life vr but the ai is self aware
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Leviathan Panel at Otakon 2024
I was OVERJOYED to be at the Leviathan panel during Otakon 2024! I'll do my best to recap it below, but if you want a more coherent play by play, this Twitter user did an excellent job.
I've got a handful of photos, recap of Sharp Gender Discussion, plus misc. things I remember.
Not everyone was up for the entire time, but I snapped this photo near the end when everyone was on stage! From left to right: Waki Kiyotaka (Studio Orange), Yoshihiro Watanabe (Studio Orange), Scott Westerfeld, Christophe Ferreira (Quibic Pictures), Justin Leach (Quibic Pictures), Katrina Minett (Quibic Pictures), and Diana Garnet (ending theme vocalist).
New concept art! Looks like Dr. Barlow, Klopp, Alek, and Sharp, right before the Germans attack the Leviathan.
More under the cut!
Alternative shot of that art bc I couldn't get my lighting right:
Clanker and Darwinist technology designs. Watanave explained that Studio Orange's early days were spent doing contract work on Gundam anime, so I can't wait to see how that translates to the Clanker machines.
Some more concept art:
By the way, the entire series is being adapted at once - so we'll get the complete story at once! That in mind, the second image here makes me think of that maneuver near the beginning of Goliath to pick up the cargo.
Sharp!!! Look at them!!!
I don't have much to say about these but I'm fairly sure I hadn't seen them before. I am wondering if they downsized Alek's crew for the sake of the story, or perhaps we just haven't seem Bauer and Hoffman yet.
We got some new character art! The panel was very cryptic about who the character designer is. Apparently they're pretty well known, but they can't share it yet!
Volger I am so sorry your photo was unfocused. Forgive me.
The panel jokingly described him as "Alek's dad," which feels accurate. And maybe I misunderstood, but it sounds like he plays an even more important role in the anime than he does in the books. I've always considered Volger to be a pretty important character, so I wonder what else he'll do in this new series.
Klopp looks exactly like how I pictured him in my mind!! They said if Volger is Alek's dad, then Klopp is like his mom. Which is very fair but also made me laugh a lot.
Dr. Barlow!! She looks amazing. There was a lot of talk about the dynamic between her and Volger and how they're often playing mental chess games with each other. I'm really glad they're leaning into that dynamic.
And one more concept art:
This looks like the visit to Istanbul, which I'm desperately hoping means we'll see my favorite chaotic bisexual, Lilit.
That's all of the photos I have! They also showed us a preview of the show plus a live performance of the ending song with Diana Garnet. No video recording was allowed and I don't break rules, but believe me when I tell you it was stunning. The world feels so full of life and adventure and I can't wait to see the final show.
Tbh I was too busy holding back tears of joy but one thing I remember distinctly is there's a shot of Sharp getting ready for the day, and we see a sheet of paper with a bunch of names written and crossed out before finally (I think) "Dylan" is circled.
Which actually brings me to the Q&A part. TLDR, between the use of "Sharp" for Deryn's name, Scott referring to Sharp as "she/he/they" during the panel, and the scene I mentioned earlier, I feel really hopeful about how they're approaching Deryn's gender and identity in this adaptation.
I asked a question about this at the Q&A and voice recorded it, so I'll try to transcribe it here as best I can because the audio is not great lol. I stumbled through my question so I trimmed it down here but I'll transcribe the response as clearly as I can!
Me: I just finished re-reading [the series] for the first time since I was probably in high school, and one of the things that interests me about this adaptation is the approach to Sharp's character... I guess I'm just interested, like, was there a lot of thought put behind, or what kind of thought was put behind how to approach their character in the anime, I guess as a chance to re-approach the story however many years after it was originally written.
Scott Westerfeld: Yeah, there's a lot to that. The "girl dressing as a boy" as a trope was something completely different in 2007 when I started writing this than it is now. And so we really approached Deryn's identity as what was at stake rather than just... rather than just her being in disguise, it's about their recreating themselves and becoming a different person and transitioning and, and so... but it's always been interesting to me that the words that I wrote back in 2009, 10, 11, y'know, as an old guy who grew up in Texas in the 70s - who was David Bowie fan! - but otherwise didn't have a lot of access into issues of gender, I'm amazed at how many people have been [able to?] adopt Deryn/Dylan as one of their own. I just got an email a week ago from a trans boy whose chosen name is Dylan. So it is amazing to me how whatever imperfections or whatever problematics there are in the text, people still find their way into what they need from a character. And as a writer, I can say that I always respected that character, I always respected their choices, I always respected who they were. I never tried to stick them into a dress and have everyone go "Ooh now you're pretty 'because 'cause you're in dress!" We didn't do that, and I think that what may be important for people and I think that's why it's still what's gonna work here, but it's been fun to be able to update it and everybody on the team's been really great about understanding that.
TLDR I don't want to get anyone's hopes up too high, but I'm really appreciative of the care that's being taken with Sharp's story and identity in this adaptation. It seems like Scott and the others on the team are taking that into account, and I'm excited to see how it plays out.
Other random things I remember:
THERE WAS AN ALEK COSPLAYER. I took a photo with them but I won't post it without their consent. Just trust that they looked fantastic.
Scott said one of the first things he was told was that Alek can't actually kill Nikola Tesla because he's too well loved by people in Japan, which I think is the funniest possible reason for a change to be made in an adaptation.
Diana Garnet (they/any) mentioned how much they love Sharp (don't we all) and also how they used to work at a Barnes and Noble and remembers selling lots of Westerfeld books!
Scott said his approach in writing Leviathan was taking everything he'd always wanted to write about and basically throwing it together, because he was just coming off of the success of Uglies and figured he could get away with it.
If I remember anything else I'll add on to this post! Overall, it was a wonderful panel and I'm incredibly excited for this project.
#studio orange#qubic pictures#leviathan anime#leviathan scott westerfeld#leviathan trilogy#leviathan netflix#scott westerfeld#deryn sharp#leviathan series#leviathan alek#prince alek#otakon#otakon 2024
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The bigger picture | the poorly picked bonds
I’ve been memeing for days, so I wanted to write about something a little more serious. One of the main reasons why I'm excited for Elain's book is it's implications for the agency of the females of Prythian.
Sometimes I think our obsessive love for individual characters in the fandom leads us to not see the forest because we are so obsessed with the trees. But this can turn things a little smaller than they are sometimes, and we narrow down the stories to such small concepts as vibes between certain characters, maybe even individual lines or scenes. I for one am quite obsessed with Elain and Azriel’s dynamics and sigh dreamily at their individual scenes and lines.
Nothing wrong with that, fandom is the space for vibes. And the trees can be very nice. But I want to zoom out and look at the bigger implications of Elain and Azriel's love story, and why this is the story it seems SJM has been wanting to tell for years, has been carefully setting up, and which needs to be told (and why I’m excited to hear it told). The story about the poorly picked bonds.
Female empowerment is an overarching theme in ACOTAR. SJM has said as much, and we can see it in the books. Focusing on the spinoffs, Nesta's book opened up the title of warrior to females, in a social context where they had been excluded from it, despite their competence and willingness. Elain, the quiet dreamer and hopeless romantic, has been set up to grapple with the issue of females' choice in love in her book.
The ugly side of the coin that is mating bonds
This has probably been pointed out before but since I'm still quite new here I hope you can forgive me if I'm beating a dead horse. The importance of telling the story of a rejected mating bond stretches far beyond just setting up a thrilling forbidden romance trope for Elriel. SJM has framed the rejection of a bond within the context of mated females being seen as the male's possession in Prythian, with the Autumn Court being seemingly the worst (as confirmed in Azriel's BC).
[Rhys, about mating bond rejections] For the females, it is usually easier to ignore, but the males … It can drive them mad. It is their burden to fight through, but some believe they are entitled to the female. Even after the bond is rejected, they see her as belonging to them. Sometimes they return to challenge the male she chooses for herself. Sometimes it ends in death. (ACOWAR)
[…] On the continent, there are territories that believe the females literally belong to their mate. (ACOWAR)
The last we heard of the mating bonds was SJM depicting Elain as losing her boldness around Lucien, and Azriel pointing out how the bond in Elain's case has given her to a male she does not want, asking, ‘what if the Cauldron was wrong?’ In doing so, SJM reminded us of what Rhys and Feyre said in ACOWAR in relation to Elain, Azriel, and Lucien: ‘Sometimes the bond picks poorly’, ‘Is there no free will’, ‘Why not make them mates?’
We have seen two stories told about mating bonds that worked out. But we’ve known since ACOWAR that isn't always the case. Yet we still haven't heard of a rejected mating bond. Certainly not a high stake one like Elain and Lucien’s. Rejecting a mating bond has therefore implications for every female in Prythian. Whether it is simply rejected by Elain, or if she, through her nature of being Made, finds a way to not just reject but actually break the unbreakable bond.
A (high stake) mating bond rejection has implications for females like Rhys and Tamlin’s mothers, shackled to bad men because of the cultural and religious importance of the mating bond. It has implications for females like Elain, shackled to a male they never chose and do not want (regardless of if we might find the male to be good, because females owe nothing to males simply because they're nice and good). For females like Mor and others who are queer, and more/exclusively into women, and might still be shackled to a male. It has implications for all the females threatened with carrying the responsibility of driving a male they never chose mad should they reject him and refuse to succumb to being his possession. For females mated to Autumn Court males, threatened with the responsibility of their true love's death should he/she be forced to take part in the Blood Duel and fail. This is the ugly side of the coin that is the mating bonds of Prythian. The side which story hasn’t yet been told. The side which story SJM has set up across four books. About the poorly picked bonds.
The power of Elain's choice
As it appears, we are getting Elain and Azriel’s POV for the next book, and not Lucien's (as the spinoffs are dual POV of the love interests). Given Prythian's history and customs, I think there's a narrative strength in centering the female and her choice when telling the story of their rejected mating bond. Elain's POV, and the POV of her love interest, not because he is Azriel but because he is who she has chosen. And he has chosen her too, despite her being 'given to another' according to the customs of Prythian, a fact even Rhys and Feyre (however reluctantly) are using to their advantage when navigating court politics and try to maintain peace. Azriel is not wrong to question that this is how the mating bond is viewed in Prythian.
Aside from the minor detail we haven't gotten to Elain's actual story yet, it is understandable why SJM hasn't made Elain simply casually reject the bond yet. It is understandable why Azriel has been staying away even though it ruins him. SJM doesn’t have Elain and Azriel just playing forbidden romance for the thrill. And there aren't just short-term political implications of them pursuing each other, potentially resulting in the longer term loss of fragile peace. A rejected mating bond grapples with philosophical questions of agency and fate, as SJM pointed out in her TODAY interview. And as we see in the books, SJM has given it major social and political implications. This is the stuff for a long book. Because it's so much bigger than Elain. Her reclaiming her agency is also reclaiming the agency of the females of Prythian. That's the power of Elain's choice.
And it makes sense it should be the notoriously defiant Azriel who, at her side, defies fate and tradition over his love for Elain regardless of who fate has given her to, which could result in females as a whole gaining freedom from the poorly picked bonds. Azriel, who SJM so clearly has depicted as not only defiant but as uniquely supporting and standing up for the females in his life, and as hating backwards traditions and customs. SJM has tied this story to Elain and Azriel, weaved it into their arcs across several books so seamlessly and with such forethought it is sometimes missed. Because you really have to read all books to see this overarching bigger picture clearly. But when you do, I think it is very clear.
I think this is the immense potential of Elain's book and Elriel's forbidden love story. It isn't just Elain going "ew, swipe left" in a paragraph. It is about the females of Prythian getting their freedom and agency back. It is about the other side of the coin that is mating bonds. About the poorly picked bonds. And I very much look forward to hearing this story told.
(and Lucien will very likely be just fine!)
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Jimmy’s favorite pokemon being Mega Rayquaza is so funny to me bc i HATE that pkmn with a passion. Like the design and lore is cool but have you ever battled one of those things? Or like, someone who would use that thing? You don’t get ANY chance in that fight if you have like, an average team. And i use a lot of fairy types so you think it’d be a bit more free but noooo
Smogon had to create its own tier for Rayquaza bc it was so overpowered, it doesn’t even need a stone to mega evolve
Wrong Organ knows what they’re doing (is this the new ‘Bravo, Vince’?)
I think its telling that he just like picked a super well known, overpowered pokemon.
Like at the end of the day, Jimmy is power hungry, he likes to and needs to feel in charge of something in someway. Even if not direct authority, he likes having power. He picks a leader Pokémon but he wouldn’t be able to handle or really have in a way that felt good to him. It’s too much responsibility and power. It’s cliche but he’d really be a Mimikyu story-wise and his whole deal with Curly. I think it’s good that it’s a bit cliche because Jimmy thinks he’d be anything but.
I think it's interesting that Curly picked the most well known pokemon but the safest. It's such a basic answer, he could like pikachu for so many little reasons but the honest one is because it's likely the most familiar to him. Pikachu is strong but not overpowered, due to being the main character he wins a lot but its not necessarily cause he's stronger but because he trains and works for it. It's an easy thing to overlook and blame main character syndrome on, but in that it reflects on how Curly is vs how he is regulary percieved, mostly by Jimmy. Not to mention how there are times Pikachu has been depicted conflicted about never evolving which is a whole mother can of wants when applied to Curly…
With the others I think it’s so important that Anya is a Glaceon. The most important fact is that it’s an ice Pokémon and what’s one of the few types a Rayquaza is weak to? She’s always Jimmy’s biggest concern even in what their interests represent.
#like it’s so fascinating like why is Swansea so acc#not the final evolution??? is it because he feels he never made it to the last steps? did he stagnate?#Daisuke just didn’t pick a Pokemon#like so many things to talk about#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#ask#lilacsky998
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Retellings is one thing, there's also this obsession with making the Greek Gods and Heroes as other races beside Greek. Like why the need to reimagined this Gods/Heroes like you? Why they need to have body shape/hairs/colour like you? Don't you know that these are cultural figures from the country it hail from?
Like never in my life I want to see Aphrodite looking like me or my people, I have my OWN mythology! If I want a mythology figure that show my culture and society, I just turn to my folktales. Why did the Greek mythos suddenly bear the burden to represent every single person/nation on earth?
You wanna claim that bc Greek mythology is mainstream? I think there's more nuances to it, bc no one in this world know my culture lore except the people from my own country but it doesn't stop us from appreciating our mythos and figures. And if we want to look at our own representation, we just look at our own culture. It's mind-blowing to me that these people can't do the same, and they feel the need to project their identity on another culture instead of embracing theirs.
☝️☝️☝️THIS! JUST THIS ANON!!! ☝️☝️☝️
Honestly I am not sure how is that even considered "empowering" or "representation" to swap existing characters with known background like this! Honestly if someone race swapped the amazing African Orishas to look like Greeks because "we need representations of Greeks in media" I would be insulted. I would be like "why? Ain't greek mythology important enough to create so that you need to insert my myths to African pantheon?"
And I have been called a racist for saying that! As well as other people who say the same as me too 🙄 like if you claim that "whitewashing" is so evil and erasing culture then how is it okay to do the opposite to Greeks (or even depict them as the other end of the spectrum like as if they are Norse vikings or something lol). And usually they do not use the excuse of "universality" or "mainstream" their favorite excuse is:
"There were black people in Greece and they deserve to be represented"
In other words they claim they are right and that anyone who disagrees is a bigot and a racist (the usual formula that is) and so they indeed hire literally any other kind of actors but Greeks or at least Italian and Balkan descend and they do not even make an effort to cast someone that remotely looks like the part sometimes (for example they casted The Rock to play Heracles in 2015. But at least they made an effort with makeup and the lighting of the film to make him remotely look like the part and the casting didn't appear bad or out of place to the degree it is nowadays)
So for once even if that were true (and so far we do not have plenty of archeological evidence for it) they were still considered foreigners and they were not always mingling with society. Where? Athens? Where foreigners even from other GREEK cities were not allowed to live within the walls? Sparta? That didn't allow anyone in their closed society? And we have no clue what was going on in Mycenaean world. But we know ancient myths were including people that Greeks were familiar with.
But do you still wanna go with your little hypothesis that let's say an Egyptian and a Greek had a kid that is mixed? Go ahead and create an original character with an original story. Why race swap an existing one with known story. I swear once I saw someone race swap Antigone. ANTIGONE! The woman was as inbred as she couldn't be more.
Another excuse they use is the modern day Greeks that are born out of immigrants. Are they less of Greeks than I am because they are of different ethnicity? Absolutely not. They are as Greek as I am nationally. They are born in Greece educated in Greece live in Greece. Are they ethnically Greek? No. There is a difference there. And antiquity especially heroes and characters with known backgrounds being race swapped is the same as me race swapping African Orisha with the excuse that "Greeks existed in Africa" instead of me creating an original character of it
And Greeks existed in Africa. We find cities of Greeks in north Africa all the time. Even Odysseus proves this. Lotus Eaters were probably Tynisian. We have Memnon the king of Ethiopia who has an entire poem dedicated to his people in Epic Cycle called "Aithiopis". Why isn't anyone properly representing those? Why do they feel the need to race swap existing characters to achieve that? And I couldn't have said it better Anon! Suddenly greek mythology becomes responsible to represent every nation on earth...instead of focusing at the amazing nations and their stories or myths.
If again the scream bloody murder on how extremely disrespectful old Hollywood was for not representing cultures properly then why are they doing it now? And if what they do is okay thanks to their excuse then why do they scream bloody murder for old Hollywood?
Which is it?
#katerinaaqu answers#greek mythology#mythology retellings#just a little runt#if other nations deserve proper representation (and they do) so do greeks
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SJ's internal changes (I recall it was the editor in chief, someone really influential) happening JUST at the same time it was announced the epilogue would be 5 chapters (same week) + the ending not bringing up huge plot points (where the other villains are, why theres no actual Himiko corpse and instead we got Ochako's grief over that assumption, what happened to Dabi, what was the All Might vestige, why the bkdk handhold was off screen when its a big deal for them, who is Deku's dad, etc), letting them linger in the air while trying to make an okay ending + that strange two week break because of "schedule conflicts" + choosing to end BNHA under even more pressure even tho its one of the most important manga in SJ + Horikoshi talking about the ending days after the official release and bringing up how grateful he is for being able to work in SJ, as in past tense (like he is grateful he worked here, but isnt happening again; I say this bc I expected him to say something around the lines of "I hope im able to create something good here again soon!", considering we already know he has another manga project, if I remember correctly)
Thinking about it.
Thinking about how he could let it as it is, or try to pick it up and confirm the things that do matter to his story.
Btw, im not talking about the handhold as a shipper -it was genuinely important for them, as it symbolizes both their new mutual understanding and an acceptance as the new All Might duo thanks to their respective heroisms. It wouldn't be weird to add it in the epilogue, especially considering so many characters hold hands in non romanitc ways, so to choose not to when its arguably the most important one... Idk, it felt really weird as it was the only thing I was sure would get sooner or later.
#grrr talking#I could picture him + his team deciding to not include so many things bc they dont want to waste them so quickly#i dont want to give hope to ppl who dont need it#but it felt weird to end it like that even if I can try to explain it away#the ending wasn't terrible but it skipped huge plot points#and I believe he wanted to explore them much better than 5 chapters#bkdk#dkbk#bakudeku#dekubaku#when he talked about being content with what he has drawn refers to the backstories of the OFA's users#literally in the same phrase he brings it up#plus he generally does that -he doesnt expand into everyone's backstories in the manga even if he knows the whole story#this isnt about making an open ending its about skipping big topics and themes on purpose#he could leave it as it is sure but if he wanted to actually write having more time and pages to work with#he could#again this isnt about backstories or explaining their world -its about themes he decided to skip like Dabi's and Himiko's fate#he directly didnt bring them up#he could have made the todoroki family visit a grave to finish his story but he didnt#he could have made Ochako bring flowers to a place implying thats were Himiko's corpse is but he didnt#he didnt close their stories#he implied spinner's but didnt close theirs#and the handhold it wasn't he secret he wanted to make them hold hands to symbolize the hero duo#so why not showing a small panel of it too instead of implying it?#shippers would eat it up dudebros would still see it as platonic and heroic
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do u ever stop to think about this whole love triangle discourse and end up laughing bc there shouldn't be a discourse to begin with? like one boy wants nancy in his life and says that she's the most important part and the other boy looks like he's two seconds away from being put out of his misery because of his relationship with nancy to the point he's ghosting her and she thinks he's cheating. also do u ever think about how both of these boys talks about nancy? how they describe her? and the reasons they love her? how they see her?
first we have jonathan saying this:
first of all, i love his lack of energy go girl give us nothing (why he looks like he wants to d word, ur literally talking about ur girlfriend 😭) so, that's him saying all the reasons he loves her, and ofc we know that nancy is like that but why he's talking about her work ethic and not about her, like u should all read this post about how much nancy cares about other people and how being a reporter allows her to listen to other people's stories and help them, but jonathan only talks about that, work work work, how she behaves in work, how she is ambitious at work which we know she is, that's not a bad thing at all, i love how determined she is, how she works hard for that, it's actually one of my favorite traits of nancy, but i don't see people (and jonathan) talking about what drives that ambition forward which is helping other people, now going back to jonathan's speech which is even more ridiculous when we watched s3, because according to him he loves how hardworking nancy is, and yet:
wait a second, drop the story? i thought you loved how she's never done a single thing halfway in her life? and then:
anyways, that doesn't sound like someone who loves all these things he listed in season 4, now moving forward to steve, i was talking before how jonathan only said things about nancy's work ethic and not about her and what drives her forward but can u believe that steve does that? and not the fully developed steve in season 4, no, the s1 steve, the one who still messed up from time to time
i think it's very refreshing to see someone describing nancy and acknowledging how caring she can be, how she worries about other people, how she wants to help people, and he sees that, and this isn't even a big speech bc good knows narrative wasn't at their side in s1-s2, it's just crazy to me how there's scenes of nancy being there for jonathan in awful times (when will was being possessed, she held his hand, she was there, and yet not a single thing about that, about how much she's caring and protective) it's just sad bc do u see how she describes him? "caring, compassionate, protective, never back down from what's right (only when he wants to lie to her countless times i guess)" how could he not do the same for her? THE nancy wheeler who stood in front of A CAR to protect him and her friends when billy was about to crush her, and you know this isn't just an issue with jonathan, i feel like this is an issue with the fandom too, i feel like the fandom only seems to care about that side of nancy, like her career is the only thing she cares about and nothing more, and that's just isn't nancy wheeler, but then again, she's one of the characters people misunderstand the most in st (just like her brother, i guess is the wheeler's curse) we have 14 year old mike wheeler listing how much he loves el on her bad days, on her good days, with her powers, without her power, for exactly who she is, and all jonathan can say about his girlfriend is "she works 👍"
#stranger things#nancy wheeler#steve harrington#stancy#nancy x steve#anti jancy#anti jonathan byers#again not really bc i don't hate him#i just think his character is just a big mess and hell i don't see how the duffers can fix that with only one season left
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Kagehina yap because I can't get them out of my brain even tho I need to go to bed bc I have a full day of lectures tomorrow,,,
(be warned yall that this is a long one, which is why I've put the big explanation under the cut)
Okay so Kagehina shouldn't be getting together before Brazil Arcc. If you wanna write them before then, go ahead I love a good bit of hs kghn or long-distance kghn as much as the next person. However, for their characters at the end of HS, I feel like they need to have the Adlers v MSBY match before they should be in a relationship:
The end of 3rd year:
At the end of their third year, Kageyama is still not fully open with Hinata, let alone anyone else. I'm not saying that you have to be completely open with everyone before getting into a relationship, but I think for their dynamic, he needs to learn to be more open with his emotions than he is at that point before you can have two personalities like him and Hinata in a relationship together.
At the end of third year, Hinata is still nowhere near Kageyama's skill level in volleyball. Again, I'm not saying that they need to have equal skill levels to be in a relationship however, Hinata does have a major inferiority complex about this specifically when compared to Kageyama and I don't think that, with he skill level he is at in 2015 (when they graduate). He can't catch up with Kageyama by becoming a skilled player in his own right without going to Brazil, we know this, but going to Brazil also develops his personality as well as his vb skills. He is now more confident and has learnt a lot and so he is able to be on what he considered equal footing with Kageyama (what he considered is the important part here bc of his issues with comparing himself to Kageyama, which we see the whole way through the story).
Now flip to post Brazil:
At this point, Kageyama has begun to open up a bit more by spending time with his teammates, mostly on Adlers, but you can assume JNT as well - we just don't see much of that bc Hinata is the protag, and he's busy sulking over Kags not visiting him atp. Like we can see this in small things like him showing Ushijima the photo of Hinata and Oikawa. He is now more open than he was in hs but he hasn't talked to (at least not much more than maybe like a couple two message interactions) Hinata in a couple years as far as we know. Because of their whole soulmate thing because Kageyama is still somewhat alone because of his skill level (see Kazuyo's promise)
At this point, Hinata is finally confident in his skill level, I mean, he was practically unknown and got into the MSBY D1 starting line-up. However, I think it's important to note that atp he has not beaten Kageyama so although he has definitely improved - he's earned the title of Ninja Shoyo, which is his own compared to the little giant (I can also yap abt that honestly) - he doesn't know whether he has caught up with Kageyama who, for all he knows could have improved just as much as he did in the time they were apart. Hinata might now have many brain cells, but he knows enough that it's silly to think that Kageyama has not improved at all while playing with the JNT and being in VL D1 since high school.
Post-Adlers v MSBY match:
Kageyama has now opened up. This bit is less about opening up to those around him (although he has, see "took you long enough") and is more about him being open with his own emotions. Obviously, he's not suddenly fixed years of emotional repression in one match, but he's chosen to open himself up to Hinata (see being happy/smiling at losing a match) and therefore also open with the audience (we finally see his backstory - that idea is not mine it's from this post it's rlly good u should read it). At this point, I feel like he is ready to have a healthy relationship with Hinata while still working through his other issues. He isn't going to be magically perfect now, but still, he's at a maturity point where he would be able to be in a relationship with someone as competitive as him and Hinata are together.
Hinata has now won against Kageyama. He now knows and feels confident with his skills as a player of his own right and worth, and so now his competition with both people like Hoshiumi and then especially with Kageyama is not going to be him seeing himself as the small junior high version of him who got beaten in 30 minutes still trying to prove himself, but the amazing Ninja Shoyo who is an amazing all-rounder and a wing spiker (the position he's wanted to play in order to be ace which he didn't get a chance to play before). He has grown as a person already while in Brazil, but this win is simply confirmation that he has done what he went there to do. He can trust that he made the right choice to leave Kageyama and the trust and dynamic that they had created (which was a major worry of his through the first part of the Brazil arc - with the homesickness and seeing Kageyama in the Olympics) and is better for it. this game proves it all to him, and he can welcome Kageyama and a possible relationship with him now that they are equals, rivals and a team at the same time.
Finally, onwards:
We finally see that they are together, whether you want that to be as teammates and best friends/platonic soulmates or as romantic soulmates it's up to you, but we see that they have improved both in vb and in their relationship together (see one of my fav panels to ever exist with their fist bump in JNT uniforms).
They are on the same team together, except stronger, when they go to the Olympics together. And then when we see after that, they still have a strong dynamic with them both declaring they're going to win in the Ali Roma v ASAS São Paulo game which makes me think that they keep in contact a lot better than they did while Hinata was playing beach - only bc there seems to be less of the tension that is there when they meet before the MSBY Adlers game.
Anywaysss that pretty much concludes my yap on why they shouldn't get together until after the Brazil arc. I could probably say a billion more things about this, but this was the best way to get any sort of coherence from me about this. I will probably do more yaps so if people want, feel free to ask me questions in my ask box or in the notes!!!!
(Also I hope yall appriciate the colour coding, I chose the purple over the blue cause I felt it was more Kageyama coded, at least on my phone it is)
#Honestly no idea if this makes sense#I think this probabaly counts as a character study/analysis but idk ill tag it anyway tho#This idea wouldn't leave my brain like a bad spirit (in the medival medical way)#I literally had to get this out istg#autism core ig#character analysis#character study#relationship study#kagehina#3rd year kagehina#hq analysis#kageyama tobio#hinata shouyou#brazil hinata#hq timeskip#🐝#📖#🌸#haikyuu manga#haikyuu#haikyuu time skip
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Grr.. i love discussions about the normalization of bad things for teenagers/ kids, whether it be fictional or real. Esp as someone who has had that happen 2 me
And i think it's smth that's very prevalent in ctommy's story.
C!tommy is chaotic on his own, so in a way he already had violence somewhat normalized? And I think all these little things add up to how he later treats his relationships w others, and specifically what actions he's willing to let others get away with.
There are, ofc, Loads of things that later normalize violence even more (wars, all the conflicts in general). But in my opinion, one of the biggest things that normalizes violence that is Specifically Towards c!tommy, was the fight in the pit w c!techno. C!techno beat c!tommy to a pulp, all the while c!wilbur was cheering and egging him on in the back.
Then ofc exile rolls around, and c!dream literally hits him w an axe right in the first vod. But that's okay, it's not like violence is Unusual, right? He goes through that week not questioning every time c!dream hits him, only questioning why he has to give up his stuff (<- this is smth that's never really talked about when ppl discuss ctommy's sentimentality for objects ? When rewatching the exile vods, i genuinely don't think there was a moment where ctommy went "hey, why are u hitting me?" it was always just "hey, why are u taking the stuff that I worked hard for?").
And then he runs away but ends up living with Mr. " ''minor'' terrorism". Can you see how that really wouldn't be good for c!tommy? Then when they go to l'manburg, it Allll piles up and c!tommy ends up hurting c!fundy and c!connor.
I've seen ppl before say that they ignore this lore moment bc it doesn't make sense, but to me it makes So much sense? Ofc a teenager who is constantly and consistently surrounded by a violent environment/people is going to be influenced by it? Ntm ppl say that they love c!tommy bc he's an imperfect character, and is this not a big part of what makes him imperfect?
One of the biggest reasons Why c!tommy left c!techno was because he realized it was further normalizing violence. Because he realized that He didn't want to be violent anymore
("Techno, if this is what I've become, then I don't wanna be me anymore, man."
"I'm worse than everyone I've hated- I'm worse than everyone I didn't wanna be *looks at cdream*").
C!tommy's talk with c!connor at the end of the community house destruction stream will always be So important to me
("For what it's worth, Tommy, I don't know what went on today, but- Even though you kidnapped me and I'm still kinda dealing with a bit of the trauma, I think that at the end of the day; you're just a conflicted person, not a bad person." SCREAMING VRYING THEOING UPP)
And a convo that's even More important to me, is the one w c!sapnap near the start of the doomsday stream, where c!tommy acknowledges that what he did was Bad, and that it was because of influence from the environment around him
("Sapnap, I'm so sorry, that you did that, and that I made you do that because.. it wasn't right of me. And I-I shouldn't... I shouldn't take out.. ANY of the fucked up shit thats happened to me o- on other people, and I'm sorry." AUGHHHHHHH CTOMNYYY VTOMYYY AJAN)
#also a connection id like to make is ctommys quote “I'm worse than everyone I didn't wanna be *looks at cdream*”#and his other quote “I shouldn't take out ANY of the fucked up shit thats happened to me on other people”#bc ctommys actions towards cfundy and cconnor was quite literally#him taking out what cdream did to him on them#blah blah the cycle of violence or whtvr it's called#<- not trying to excuse ctommys actions btw#what he did Was bad#but this is one of those cases where u Have to look at “Why?”#bc it's not like ctommy did it out of nowhere#c!tommy#ctommy#dsmp#dream smp#c!discduo#dsmp tommy#dsmp analysis#ig?#c!techno#c!bedrock bros#c!pyroduo#ctommy and csapnap had So much potential as a duo btw#will forever be upset over them
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Okay I accidentally got the flambé insanity out of my system on my enstars spam Instagram but I’m still gonna scream about ibayuzu bc I NEED TO….
Listen, I may say things about how awful they are for each other and like ‘lol ibayuzu is their bad ending’ because I love me some toxic yaoi, but hear me out: nah it’s not actually all that toxic OR bad for them, they just need to SIT DOWN AND COMMUNICATE WITHOUT THE DRAMATICS AND THE CONSTANT TRYING TO ONE UP EACH OTHER which is probably not gonna happen because they both love the dramatics and one upping each other too much
Now here’s why: pretty much the ONLY TIME we see Yuzuru get to be himself is when he’s talking to Ibara. Can you imagine how much of a relief it must be to him that FINALLY he can drop the act and SNAP at this Guy? Knowing that a) he can take it because he’s actively encouraged it and is already well aware of exactly how ruthless Yuzuru is capable of being and b) it’s not going to ruin his reputation or leak his background to any fans or higher ups because Ibara needs to keep their history just as secret at Yuzuru. Ibara is so so important to Yuzuru because as much as he can complain about how much he despises him…. He’s not even ALLOWED to express open distaste for anyone else- this is the one person he can be a bitch towards without fear or without having to cover up the bitchiness with feigned niceties (and Yuzuru is such a bitch at heart xoxo)
And now for Ibara. Yuzuru is one of the only people he can ALWAYS trust. He knows Yuzuru’s past, he knows Yuzuru’s mindset better than anyone else and he KNOWS he’s the only one who’s aware of how Yuzuru really feels and works, which gives him the comfort of knowing that Yuzuru isn’t gonna betray him. Yuzuru has nothing to gain from screwing him over and ruining his life or anything else. Sure he’s a thorn in his side when it comes to his sneaky tricks and schemes, but when it comes to being able to breathe freely and not have to battle every day of his life, afraid that everyone around him is just waiting for the opportunity to tear him down and send him right back into the battlefield, he knows that Yuzuru is safe. And I think he’s aware enough by now that Yuzuru does genuinely care about him- favourite pupil privileges and all that.
So basically, Flambé sent me insane because of the amount of mentions about their joint past and the way they instantly retort back to anything the other says. Yuzuru snarkily saying that Ibara must struggle to give gifts because he doesn’t care about anyone else (I smell resentment from the past. Why are you so convinced of that, Yuzuru? You know Ibara just wanted a safe haven- upset that wasn’t you? Upset he chose Nagisa over you???? Upset that he doesn’t care about you like you care about him??????????). We also have Ibara scheming in his own mind and WATCHING for Yuzuru’s reaction. Because Yuzuru doesn’t say anything. We just get a sprite of him narrowing his eyes. And suddenly Ibara’s like ‘haha he noticed! Just as I expected hehe! Can’t get away with anything with Yuzuru around!’… Ibara why are you watching? Why are you waiting and hoping he thwarts you????? (Lmao Perry and Doofenshmirtz ass dynamic) Ibara you don’t need to pretend to be evil just to get Yuzuru to stop you so you have an excuse to enjoy being an idol….. I mean, Yuzuru sees through it and is gonna enable that for you anyway but THERE WAS NO NEED I PROMISE!!
Ugh they make me insane. Read Flambé, y’all!!! It’s also one of my fave Rinne stories because I love love love when an all out over the top dramatic character gets to show a more subdued side and drop the mask for a bit- especially around a specific person (rinniki nation winning) (wow weird thing for the notorious wataei freak to comment on)
And I’m done byeeee
#Cham goes crazy#I can’t stop thinking about ibayuzu someone put me down like a sick dog#forcing my gf to cosplay them with me next con#she was cosplaying Ibara anyway#I just went ohohoho Yuzuru at con time >:) I’m gonna strangle you >:)#enstars#ibayuzu#yuzuiba#yuzubara#rinniki#flambé#ensemble stars#Yuzuru fushimi#Ibara saegusa#rinne amagi
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