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jasmineandcedar · 4 days

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"No shadows at his ear, no darkness ringing his fingers as he extended a hand."

I've seen there's some discussion in the Elriel tag about the meaning of Azriel's shadows vanishing. I know the idea of them vanishing having negative implications for Azriel is pushed a lot and somehow it seems a lot of people have accepted this as somehow rooted in canon. It isn't. Now, I absolutely don't want to police how people engage with canon, it is a work of fiction and it is totally fine to take creative liberty in how we engage with it. That is not an issue. But I don't like to see people be made to believe that what they've read didn't happen, or to see obvious misrepresentations of canon be pushed as canon if it is to the point that people seem to worry or be confused. I hope this explains my intention with this post. We should all feel free to keep engaging creatively with works of fiction.

Take this as a gentle reminder of the circumstances under which Azriel's shadows vanish.

I've written a longer post where I explore the behaviour of Azriel's shadows (here). But I wanted to post the section about his shadows vanishing in a separate post, so here it is:

We don't really need an explicit explanation of what it means for Azriel for his shadows to vanish to tell the circumstances under which they do, because SJM has quite clearly showed us (which in my view, for my reading experience, is a preferred narrative technique because I it makes me actively engage with the text).

It is true that there is very little overall consistency in the depictions and descriptions of his shadows behavior. One pattern is that if they move around a lot or gather closer to Azriel, he is usually in some form of emotional and/or physical distress. However, this pattern is not entirely consistent. They sometimes do when he is seemingly not in distress.

But there is one pattern of behaviour that is entirely consistent, meaning it is so consistent we can say with certainty that given the current status of canon - we know under what circumstances this happens. The only entirely consistent pattern about the behavior of his shadows is that they are only described as vanishing, fading, or lighting up when he is happy, content, and relaxed. In all five books, this has to my knowledge only (as in, being explicitly mentioned) happened around Feyre, Elain, and Mor (because of Mor, but in the presence of more members of the IC).

[When Feyre first meets the IC] Mor patted Azriel on the shoulder as she dodged his outstretched wing. “Relax, Az—no fighting tonight. We promised Rhys.” The lurking shadows vanished entirely as Azriel’s head dipped a bit—his night-dark hair sliding over his handsome face as if to shield him from that mercilessly beautiful grin. (ACOMAF)

[Feyre, about Azriel] Yes—Azriel, who kept a step away, whose shadows trailed him and seemed to fade in her [Mor’s] presence. (ACOMAF)

[Feyre, flying with Azriel] Then we tilted, shooting straight. Azriel’s body was warm and hard, though those brutalized hands were considerate as he gripped me. No shadows trailed us, as if he’d left them in Velaris. (ACOMAF)

[Feyre introduces Cass, Az, and Rhys to her sisters during their first meeting] “Cassian,” I said, inclining my head to the left. Then I shifted to the right, grateful those shadows were nowhere to be found as I said, “Azriel.” I half turned. “And Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court.” (ACOMAF)

[Banter during dinner with the IC] Cassian only grimaced at Rhys and Azriel. “I told you that the moment we started letting females into our group, they’d be nothing but trouble.” “As far as I can recall, Cassian,” Rhys countered drily, “you actually said you needed a reprieve from staring at our ugly faces, and that some ladies would add some much-needed prettiness for you to look at all day.” “Pig,” Amren said. Cassian gave her a vulgar gesture that made Lucien choke on his green beans. “I was a young Illyrian and didn’t know better,” he said, then pointed his fork at Azriel. “Don’t try to blend into the shadows. You said the same thing.” “He did not,” Mor said, and the shadows that Azriel had indeed been subtly weaving around himself vanished. “Azriel has never once said anything that awful. Only you, Cassian. Only you.” (ACOWAR)

Azriel arrived first, no shadows to be seen, my sister a pale, golden mass in his arms. He, too, wore his Illyrian armor, Elain’s golden-brown hair snagging in some of the black scales across his chest and shoulders. (ACOWAR)

[During flying lesson with Feyre] Azriel only sat on his heels and offered me a hand up. My flesh burned as I gripped his fingers, a mortifying number of pine needles and splinters tumbling off me. My back throbbed enough that I lowered my wings, not caring if they dragged in the dirt as Azriel led me toward the lake edge. In the blinding sun off the turquoise water, his shadows were gone, his face stark and clear. More … human than I had ever seen him. (ACOWAR)

[Azriel at the town house with Feyre, Cassian, Nesta, and Elain] Cassian’s dark brows narrowed. I dragged a hand over my face before going to Elain and touching her too-bony shoulder. “Can I set you up in the garden? The herbs you planted are coming in nicely.” “I can help her,” said Azriel, stepping to the table as Elain silently rose. No shadows at his ear, no darkness ringing his fingers as he extended a hand. Nesta monitored him like a hawk, but kept silent as Elain took his hand, and out they went. (ACOWAR)

[Solstice night] Elain sucked in a soft breath that whispered over his skin. His shadows skittered back at the sound. They'd always been prone to vanish when she was around. (Azriel’s BC)

I think the above examples show his shadows’ behaviour is consistent with the idea of the shadows being there to protect him, by shielding him and informing him (in the longer post I explore how we need to know what the shadows provide to know what it means for them to vanish, see the longer post for excerpts from the books).

If the above is accepted as true. What does it mean for the shadows to vanish? It means there is no need to be shielded, and there’s no need to gather information. Because there’s no need for protection. He is safe and content. The shadows vanish when he is safe and not under any form of emotional or physical distress. This view seems entirely consistent with canon (as seen above).

It is also true, if we look at canon, that Azriel's gentle and soft traits come out the most around Feyre and, even more, around Elain - two of the only three people in whose presence his shadows are described as vanishing or fading (again, there are excerpts from canon in the longer post that show this). To say that his shadows vanishing is somehow indicative of the shadows not liking that person, or that person being evil or bad for Azriel is simply not aligning with canon. Canonically, the shadows only vanish when the opposite is true.

Shadows vanishing coincide with Azriel being able to express his caring and gentle side, not needing to be stone-faced and shielded. As such, his shadows vanishing cannot be described as anything other than positive (meaning Azriel is in a positive situation). Not needing his shadows is character development for Azriel, as it seems to mean he is letting go of being unreadable and guarded and constantly informed of his surroundings. He is joking and connecting with Feyre by the lake during her flying lessons (shadows vanished). He is relaxed, happy and content (and smitten, to put it lightly) around Elain (shadows vanished).

To conclude, who is the only person around whom the shadows are described by Azriel himself, the one the shadows keep company, as “prone to vanish” (Azriel’s BC)? Elain. It now becomes quite clear what it means for his shadows to vanish.

[Azriel flies Elain to the town house] Azriel arrived first, no shadows to be seen, my sister a pale, golden mass in his arms. He, too, wore his Illyrian armor, Elain’s golden-brown hair snagging in some of the black scales across his chest and shoulders. He set her down gently on the foyer carpet, having carried her in through the front door. Elain peered up at his patient, solemn face. Azriel smiled faintly. “Would you like me to show you the garden?” She seemed so small before him, so fragile compared to the scales of his fighting leathers, the breadth of his shoulders. The wings peeking over them. But Elain did not balk from him, did not shy away as she nodded—just once. Azriel, graceful as any courtier, offered her an arm. I couldn’t tell if she was looking at his blue Siphon or at his scarred skin beneath as she breathed, “Beautiful.” Color bloomed high on Azriel’s golden-brown cheeks, but he inclined his head in thanks and led my sister toward the back doors into the garden, sunlight bathing them. (ACOWAR)

[Elain and Azriel in the garden] Elain sat silently at one of the wrought-iron tables, a cup of tea before her. Azriel was sprawled on the chaise longue across the gray stones, sunning his wings and reading what looked to be a stack of reports—likely information on the Autumn Court that he planned to present to Rhys once he’d sorted through it all. Already dressed for the Hewn City—the brutal, beautiful armor so at odds with the lovely garden. And my sister sitting within it. (ACOWAR)

With the two quotes above, I want to tie this to the symbolism of light and dark surrounding Elain and Azriel. So I will now perhaps speak a little in symbolic terms: Azriel relaxes in the presence of light. His shadows vanish. There is peace and quiet in the presence of light. He suns his wings where there is light. Why? We know how defensive Illyrian males are about their wings. Rhys didn’t let anyone so much as touch his wings for 500 years. So, what could it mean for an Illyrian male to be so relaxed as to sun his wings in someone’s company? There is only one reason any Illyrian male would be so lax about their surroundings as to sun his wings. To sun your wings is to be safe. His shadows, who shield and protect him, do not need to do so where there is light.

Around whom do his shadows vanish? Around whom are they even “prone to vanish” (Azriel’s BC)? Around the one with whom he is the most gentle and soft, because she inspires it and that is who he is when he is not in distress. Around the one who is consistently described as the very manifestation of light and sunshine. She is “like a summer dawn” (ACOMAF), “full of light”, like a “blooming spring” (ACOWAR), a “bloom of color and sunshine” (ACOFAS), “glowing like the sun at dawn” (Azriel’s BC), with a smile “as bright as the setting sun” (ACOSF).

Elain.

The lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her.

I think Feyre was partly wrong. At least, she only got half of the equation right. She said Elain would cling to Azriel for some peace and quiet (ACOMAF). From what we have seen, it goes both ways. Azriel clings to Elain for peace and quiet. In doing so his shadows vanish. Because he is safe, content, and himself.

And then, shadows vanished, he suns his wings.

#elriel

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jasmineandcedar · 11 days

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"Elain stepped out of a shadow..."

Today I remembered when Elain throws up from sheer terror as an injured Azriel joins the battle in ACOWAR.

And then, with Azriel’s precious knife in hand, she goes and kills the King of Hybern herself.

[Before the final battle in ACOWAR] She [Elain] refused the knife Cassian handed her, though. Went white as death at the sight of it. Azriel, still limping, merely nudged aside Cassian and extended another option. “This is Truth-Teller,” he told her softly. “I won’t be using it today—so I want you to.” His wings had healed—though long, thin scars now raked down them. Still not strong enough, Madja had warned him, to fly today.

[Towards the end of the final battle] “I’m going in,” Azriel said. “No,” Rhys snapped. But Azriel was spreading his wings, the sunlight so stark on the new, slashing scars down the membrane. “Chain me to a tree, Rhys,” Azriel said softly. “Go ahead.” He began checking the buckles on his weapons. “I’ll rip it out of the ground and fly with it on my damned back.” Rhys just stared at him—the wings. Then the decimated Illyrian forces. Any chance we had of victory … Nesta wasn’t going anywhere. She could barely stay sitting. And Elain… Amren was holding Elain upright as she vomited in the grass. Not from the Cauldron. But pure terror.

[Later, during the final battle, when the King of Hybern is about to strike down Nesta and Cassian] The king raised his hand, power whirling like a dark galaxy in his palm. I knew they’d both die the moment that power hit them. Anything, I begged the Cauldron. Anything— The king’s hand began to drop. And then halted. A choking noise came out of him. For a moment, I thought the Cauldron had answered my pleas. But as a black blade broke through the king’s throat, spraying blood, I realized someone else had. Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king’s neck as she snarled in his ear, “Don’t you touch my sister.”

#elriel #How can you not love her?

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jasmineandcedar · 18 days

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"His head went quiet."

[Second Solstice] “It's beautiful," she [Elain] whispered, lifting it from the box. The golden faelight shone through the little glass facets, setting the charm glowing with hues of red and pink and white. Azriel let his shadows whisk away the box as she said softly, "Put it on me?" His head went quiet. But he took the necklace, opening the clasp as she exposed her back, sweeping her hair up in one hand to bare her long, creamy neck [Azriel's BC).

When I read that Azriel’s head went quiet in the bonus chapter, I often think of it in a wider and perhaps more symbolic sense. As in, Elain gives him peace and quiet. He relaxes with her in the garden, sunning his wings. His shadows vanish in her presence (here’s a post I wrote dissecting my perception of the meaning of this). His soft and gentle side comes out around her (meaning he has no need to be stone-faced and guarded, as he usually is). However, I also believe the peace and quiet she gave him in that precise moment is also very specific and contextual.

What had been plaguing his mind leading up to their moment during Solstice night?

[Second Solstice] Sleep, they [his shadows] seemed to whisper in his ear. Sleep. I wish I could, he answered silently. But sleep so rarely found him these days. Too many razor-sharp thoughts sliced him any time he grew still long enough for them to strike. Too many wants and needs left his skin overheated and pulling taut across his bones. So he slept only when his body gave out, and even then only for a few hours (Azriel’s BC).

“Razor-sharp thoughts” and “wants and needs”. These words give meaning to Azriel's actions in ACOSF. All throughout ACOSF, we see Azriel distressed and clearly not OK, because of his feelings for Elain. Even to the point that Cassian (who, let’s be honest, is not the most observant) notices.

[Azriel telling Cassian Nesta and Cassian are wanted at the river house] “You and Nesta are wanted down there.” “Because of the shit with Elain?” Azriel stilled. “What happened to Elain?” Cassian waved a hand. “A fight with Nesta. Don’t bring it up,” he warned when Azriel’s eyes darkened. Cassian blew out a breath. “I take that as a no regarding the meeting topic, then.” “It’s about what I discovered. Rhys said he requires you both there.” “It’s bad, then.” Cassian surveyed the shadows gathered around Az. “You all right?” His brother nodded. “Fine.” But shadows still swarmed him. Cassian knew it was a lie, but didn’t push it. Az would speak when he was ready, and Cassian would have better success convincing a mountain to move than getting Az to open up. (ACOSF)

[Cassian asking Azriel if he wants kids] Cassian looked over at Az. “You think you’ll ever be ready for one?” Ever be ready to confess to Mor what’s in your heart? “I don’t know,” Azriel said. “Do you want a child?” “It doesn’t matter what I want.” Distant words—ones that prevented Cassian from prying further. He was still happy to be Mor’s buffer with Azriel, but there’d been a change lately. In both of them. Mor no longer sat beside Cassian, draped herself over him, and Azriel … those longing glances toward her had become few and far between. As if he’d given up. After five hundred years, he’d somehow given up. Cassian couldn’t think why. (ACOSF)

[Azriel, Cassian, and Nesta training] Nesta’s stare seared him from across the ring. Cassian might have flexed his stomach muscles as he approached the chalk-lined circle. Az shook his head and muttered, “Pathetic, Cass.” Cassian winked, nodding to his brother’s equally muscled stomach. “Where have you been exercising these days?” “Here,” Azriel said. “At night.” After he returned from spying on their enemies. “Can’t sleep?” Cassian took up a fighting stance. A shadow curled around Azriel’s neck, the only one brave enough to face the sunlight. “Something like that,” he said, and settled into his own stance across from Cassian. Cassian let it drop, knowing Az would have told him already if he’d wanted to share what had been hounding him enough to exercise at night, rather than in the morning with them (ACOSF).

Clearly, Azriel’s head has been nothing but quiet all throughout ACOSF. But during Solstice night, with Elain, it went quiet. What happened before his head went quiet? It's reasonable to assume that what preceded his head going quiet is what caused it. So, what was that?

[Second Solstice] “It's beautiful," she whispered, lifting it from the box. The golden faelight shone through the little glass facets, setting the charm glowing with hues of red and pink and white. Azriel let his shadows whisk away the box as she said softly, "Put it on me?" His head went quiet. But he took the necklace, opening the clasp as she exposed her back, sweeping her hair up in one hand to bare her long, creamy neck (Azriel's BC).

“Put it on me?” Elain asked, and Azriel’s head went quiet. Why? What is it to put a necklace on someone? It is to act.

Up until the necklace, Azriel knew Elain was aware of his feelings for her, and why he hesitates to act on them.

[Second Solstice] He [Azriel] left the rest unspoken. Because her mate was here, sleeping a level up. Because her mate had been in the family room and Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much. Elain's large brown eyes flickered, well aware of all that. Just as he knew she was well aware of why Azriel so rarely came to family dinners these days. (Azriel’s BC)

So, Azriel knows they have feelings for each other that they both are aware of. They have shared glances and brushing of fingers.

[Second Solstice] It had never gone this far. They'd exchanged looks, the occasional brush of their fingers, but never this. Never blatant, unrestricted touching (Azriel’s BC).

What is missing, for those feelings to be more than mutual feelings, is action. What Azriel doesn't know (I think) is if Elain would be ready to act on those feelings, beyond the occasional brush of their fingers and a lingering glance here and there. I am doubtful he had expected Elain to be willing to act on it that Solstice night, and I am convinced he had never felt entitled to it. Why do I think this? Because he never planned for a future with her in it beside him.

[When Rhys confronts Azriel during Solstice night] "So you'll what?" Rhys's voice was pure ice. "Seduce her away from him?” Azriel said nothing. He hadn't gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to (Azriel's BC).

Why had he not allowed himself to plan beyond his fantasies? Because he didn’t feel entitled to a future with her. Why do I say that? Think about what planning is. It is imagining a future you want and how to get there. If he didn’t expect Elain to be ready to act on their mutual feelings, it makes sense he had no hope of a future with her, because he is not entitled to a future with her that she doesn’t consent to.

Think of what kind of person Azriel is. And then think of the circumstances required for him to imagine a future he wants with Elain, and to imagine how to get there (= planning). Azriel is a guy who is seemingly intent on consent and not pushing himself on, especially, women. Look at how he acts with the priestesses in ACOSF. And with Elain, he extends a hand, an arm and so on (an offer). But not only that. He extends a hand, an arm, after having asked her (offer and permission).

[Azriel has just flown Elain to the town house] Azriel smiled faintly. “Would you like me to show you the garden?” She seemed so small before him, so fragile compared to the scales of his fighting leathers, the breadth of his shoulders. The wings peeking over them. But Elain did not balk from him, did not shy away as she nodded—just once. Azriel, graceful as any courtier, offered her an arm. I couldn’t tell if she was looking at his blue Siphon or at his scarred skin beneath as she breathed, “Beautiful.” (ACOWAR)

[Feyre offering to take Elain to the garden] I dragged a hand over my face before going to Elain and touching her too-bony shoulder. “Can I set you up in the garden? The herbs you planted are coming in nicely.” “I can help her,” said Azriel, stepping to the table as Elain silently rose. No shadows at his ear, no darkness ringing his fingers as he extended a hand. Nesta monitored him like a hawk, but kept silent as Elain took his hand, and out they went. (ACOWAR)

So, when Elain said, “put it on me?” I think it meant to Azriel that Elain showed him she was willing to act on their mutual feeling. It is an explicit expression of consent for him to act (offer and permission). Then, he “nearly groans with relief and need” when she allows him to put the necklace on her, urges him to touch her, and gives him her consent to kiss her (offer and permission). What is he relieved about? That she is willing to act. She confirms not only that she feels the same, but that she is even braver than him and ready to act. Even with her mate upstairs.

If Elain is willing to act, there is a possibility of a future. It opens the door towards a future with her that he could imagine, and if he can imagine a future with her, he can imagine how they’d get there. That is what it means to plan. Something he couldn't have allowed himself to do before "put it on me?" and all that followed in that interaction (with Elain leading it).

Look at what happens after he learns Elain is willing to act. He is questioning the Cauldron itself openly for the first time, with Rhys. I see it as the first seeds towards a bigger plan.

[Rhys confronts Azriel during Solstice night] Azriel stiffened. Let his cold rage rise to the surface, the rage he only ever let Rhysand see, because he knew his brother could match it. "What if the Cauldron was wrong?" Rhysand blinked. "What of Mor, Az?" Azriel ignored the question. "The Cauldron chose three sisters. Tell me how it's possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters, yet the third was given to another." He had never before dared speak the words aloud (Azriel’s BC).

Consider Azriel’s nature. He is not impulsive. He works in the background. Waiting for the right moment to act is not only a cornerstone of his job, but of his personality, as evident in his assertion that spying suits him precisely because of that. He is not careful and prudent because he is Spymaster, he is Spymaster because he is careful and prudent.

[Training with Nesta and Cassian] “Right,” Cassian panted through gritted teeth as he blocked Az’s kick and bounced a step back, circling again. “Whoever lands the next blow wins.” “That’s ridiculous,” Az panted back. “We go until one of us eats dirt.” Az had a vicious competitive streak. It wasn’t boastful and arrogant, the way Cassian knew he himself was prone to be, or possessive and terrifying like Amren’s. No, it was quiet and cruel and utterly lethal. Cassian had lost track of how many games they’d played over the centuries, with one of them certain of a win, only for Az to reveal some master strategy. Or how many games had been reduced to only Rhys and Az left standing, battling it out over cards or chess until the middle of the night, when Cassian and Mor had given up and started drinking (ACOSF).

[Cassian and Azriel on the lookout] “Four fucking days,” Cassian hissed from where he and Azriel monitored the castle. “We’ve been sitting on our asses for four fucking days.” Azriel sharpened Truth-Teller. The black blade absorbed the dim sunlight trickling through the forest canopy above. “It seems you’ve forgotten how much of spying is waiting for the right moment. People don’t engage in their evil deeds when it’s convenient to you.” Cassian rolled his eyes. “I stopped spying because it bored me to death. I don’t know how you put up with this all the time." “It suits me.” Azriel didn’t halt his sharpening, though shadows gathered around his feet (ACOSF).

When Azriel says “this was a mistake” about the almost-kiss, and “tonight had proved he 'd been right to do so” (Azriel's BC) about staying away from Elain, it is obviously not an expression of rejection. He didn't suddenly change his mind about Elain. He is questioning his impulsivity and recklessness. Because, as much as I, for entirely self-interested reasons, wish Rhys didn’t interrupt them, making out downstairs during Solstice (and whatever that might have led to) was quite reckless and impulsive. Clearly, none of them had planned to do that.

Azriel achieves his goals not through impulsivity and brute force, but through careful consideration and strategizing. I think that, since Elain said “put it on me?”, he has perhaps been cooking up some "master strategy" to make them happen (I, too, don't think it was a coincidence he was present to find out the Cauldron had, in fact, been tampered with, in HOFAS). He got her explicit consent, and a minute later he is questioning his religion in front of his High Lord. I think there might be some miscommunication initially in Elain’s book, given how Elain probably doesn’t know Rhys is the reason Azriel decided not to follow through with the kiss. And I think Azriel definitely will struggle with his feelings of not being worthy.

But then, I think we’ll be privy to some master strategizing on their part, challenging not only Rhys but fate itself.

#elriel

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jasmineandcedar · 19 days

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"Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two"

Azriel's shadow power and his relation to light

Elain looked up at Azriel, their eyes meeting, his hand still lingering on the hilt of the blade. I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two. The only bridge of connection … that knife. (ACOWAR)

Throughout all five books, there is a lot of symbolism surrounding Elain and Azriel, describing them using themes of light and dark. In this post, I will have a look at Azriel’s darkness by focusing on his shadow powers, what the shadows provide for him, how they behave and around whom. I will discuss how this relates to Azriel’s relationship with light in its explicit and implicit sense, and how Elain is described as a physical manifestation of light, and what that means for their relationship. This will be a long post, because I will include a lot of quotes from the books. I try to go where canon leads me (which is a pleasant experience if you love Elriel).

I wrote this years ago because I went a little crazy after ACOSF and the realization I’d likely have to wait years for Elain’s book and I don't know how to behave myself so I dissected every mention of Elain, Azriel, and Elriel in all books. But I have only recently decided to start to kind of archive my Elriel ramblings on Tumblr, because it’s prettier than having them stored in a Word document. I also like the idea of an Elriel community to be part of, although I have no experience in taking part in online fandom spaces. Beware that most of this will probably be old news by now, since many years have passed since ACOSF. Don’t expect anything revolutionary. But, in anticipation of Elain’s book, it could be nice to reminisce.

Azriel’s darkness

We know of Azriel’s past. Explicitly, there’s the literal lack of sunlight in his early childhood where he was locked in his father’s dungeon until the age of 11.

[Rhys to Feyre, about Azriel] Rhys was quiet a moment. Then he said too softly, “His father had two legitimate sons, both older than Azriel. Both cruel and spoiled. They learned it from their mother, the lord’s wife. For the eleven years that Azriel lived in his father’s keep, she saw to it he was kept in a cell with no window, no light. They let him out for an hour every day—let him see his mother for an hour once a week. He wasn’t permitted to train, or fly, or any of the things his Illyrian instincts roared at him to do. When he was eight, his brothers decided it’d be fun to see what happened when you mixed an Illyrian’s quick healing gifts with oil—and fire. The warriors heard Azriel’s screaming. But not quick enough to save his hands” (ACOMAF).

More implicitly, there’s also a lingering darkness to his character.

[Feyre, during her first meeting with the IC] But the second male, the more classically beautiful of the two … Even the light shied from the elegant planes of his face. With good reason. Beautiful, but near-unreadable. He’d be the one to look out for—the knife in the dark (ACOMAF).

[Feyre, during her first meeting with the IC] Cassian tipped back his head and laughed, a full, rich sound that bounced off the ruddy stones of the House. Azriel’s brows flicked up with approval as the shadows seemed to wrap tighter around him. As if he were the dark hive from which they flew and returned. I tried not to shudder and faced Rhys, hoping for an explanation about his spymaster’s dark gifts (ACOMAF).

[Rhys about Azriel] People often made the mistake of assuming Cassian was the wilder one; the one who couldn’t be tamed. But Cassian was all hot temper—temper that could be used to forge and weld. There was an icy rage in Azriel I had never been able to thaw. In the centuries I’d known him, he’d said little about his life, those years in his father’s keep, locked in darkness. Perhaps the shadowsinger gift had come to him then, perhaps he’d taught himself the language of shadow and wind and stone (ACOFAS).

[Amren tells her story] "But I was—the time locked away down there … I didn’t care. I had not felt the wind on my face, had not smelled the rain … I did not even remember what they felt like. I did not remember sunlight.” It was to Azriel that her attention drifted—the shadowsinger’s darkness pulling away to reveal eyes full of understanding. Locked away (ACOWAR).

[Feyre winnows with Azriel] Azriel’s dark breeze was different from Rhys’s. Colder. Sharper. It cut through the world like a blade, spearing us toward that army camp. Night was still overhead, dawn perhaps two hours away, when he landed us in a thick forest on a hilltop that overlooked the outskirts of the mighty camp (ACOWAR).

This darkness is perhaps most prominently manifested by his shadows, which will be addressed shortly.

Azriel’s darkness is somewhat paradoxical when looking at the very well-mannered, gentle, soft, and caring personality traits he possesses (I often wonder who Azriel would be if he had a safe and happy childhood, and it is my personal view that I don’t think there would be much darkness to him had he not had to suffer through what he did during his childhood). These soft and gentle traits seem the most prominent around Elain, who we know he has romantic feelings for, and Feyre, who he has a very beautiful friendship with. I would with some hesitation add Mor here. However, while he definitely has warm feelings for her, there’s also a lot of rage where Mor is concerned (not towards Mor herself of course, but towards what happened to her). I would also maybe add Nesta, but their friendship is newer and developing. I'm sure we will get to see more of that.

[Feyre flies into a tree during flying lesson] “Shit,” was all I could say as Azriel knelt before me. “You’re all right. Just stunned.” The world was still reordering itself. “You banked well,” he offered. “Into another tree.” “Being aware of your surroundings is half of flying.” “You said that already,” I snapped. He had. A dozen times just this morning. Azriel only sat on his heels and offered me a hand up. My flesh burned as I gripped his fingers, a mortifying number of pine needles and splinters tumbling off me. My back throbbed enough that I lowered my wings, not caring if they dragged in the dirt as Azriel led me toward the lake edge. In the blinding sun off the turquoise water, his shadows were gone, his face stark and clear. More … human than I had ever seen him. “There’s no chance that I’ll be able to fly in the legions, is there?” I asked, kneeling beside him as he tended to my skinned palms with expert care and gentleness. The sun was brutal against his scars, hiding not one twisted, rippling splotch (ACOWAR).

[After Feyre’s first flying lesson] Azriel had given me a tonic that would help with the soreness, but I knew that by tonight, I’d be whimpering (ACOWAR).

[Feyre, at the town house] I was still sore enough the next day that I had to send word to Cassian I wasn’t training with him. Or Azriel. A mistake, perhaps, given that both of them showed up at the door to the town house within minutes, the former demanding what the hell was wrong with me, the latter bearing a tin of salve to help with the aches in my back (ACOWAR).

[Taking Elain to the garden] I [Feyre] dragged a hand over my face before going to Elain and touching her too-bony shoulder. “Can I set you up in the garden? The herbs you planted are coming in nicely.” “I can help her,” said Azriel, stepping to the table as Elain silently rose. No shadows at his ear, no darkness ringing his fingers as he extended a hand. Nesta monitored him like a hawk, but kept silent as Elain took his hand, and out they went (ACOWAR).

[Leaving Velaris for the Illyrian camp] Rhys cleared his throat, and nodded to Mor. Then she was gone, Cassian and Nesta with her. Then Azriel, gently taking Elain’s hand in his own, as if afraid his scars would hurt her (ACOWAR).

[Rescuing Elain] The gray light of morning had broken over the world, mist clinging to our ankles as we headed into that camp, Azriel still cradling Elain to his chest. He dripped blood behind him the entire time—a trickle compared to the torrent that should be leaking out. Contained only by the patches of power he’d slapped on it. Help—he needed a healer immediately (ACOWAR).

[First Solstice together] Azriel emerged from the sitting room, a glass of wine in hand and wings tucked back to reveal his fine, yet simple black jacket and pants. I felt, more than saw, my sister go still as he approached. Her throat bobbed. […] I strode to my seat—nestled between Amren and Mor—in time to see Elain say to Azriel, “Hello.” Az said nothing. No, he just moved toward her. Mor tensed beside me. But Azriel only took Elain’s heavy dish of potatoes from her hands, his voice soft as night as he said, “Sit. I’ll take care of it” (ACOFAS).

[First Solstice] It was three by the time the others went to bed. By the time Cassian returned, quiet and brooding, and knocked back a glass of liquor before stalking upstairs. Mor followed him, worry dancing in her eyes. Azriel and Elain remained in the sitting room, my sister showing him the plans she’d sketched to expand the garden in the back of the town house, using the seeds and tools my family had given her tonight. Whether he cared about such things, I had no idea, but I sent him a silent prayer of thanks for his kindness before Rhys and I slipped upstairs (ACOFAS ).

Azriel's shadow powers

The mix of darkness and gentleness to his person, and with whom what side is dominant, is also manifested in how his shadows behave. Elain is the one person Azriel himself states his shadows are “prone to vanish” around (Azriel’s BC). What does it mean for his shadows to fade or vanish? To know, we need to assess what the shadows do or provide for him? Only then can we know what it then means for the shadows to vanish. That is to say, under what conditions are what the shadows provide not needed? And under what conditions is the opposite true?

I am immensely interested in how Azriel’s powers work. It is one of the things I look forward to learning more about the most in Elain's book (aside from getting more of Elain, but I won't get into that in this post). Since we do not have much information yet, I have tried to figure out as much as possible from what we have. I have catalogued every single mention of Azriel’s shadows in all five books, and these are some patterns I have found. (I will not go into the strength of his powers, as that is an entirely different discussion. I'm intrigued by how the strength of his powers is often compared to Rhys by Feyre, and how Rhys himself is somewhat intimidated by Azriel. There's just so much we don't' know.)

Firstly, we shall have a look at how the shadows are explicitly described by Azriel and by others. Then, we will look at patterns regarding his shadows’ behavior and use all of this information to draw some conclusions.

How are his shadow powers described?

From Rhys we know that it is assumed that Azriel’s shadow powers came to him during his time locked up in his father’s dungeon. They have no relation to the powers he has by nature of being Illyrian, channeled through his Siphons.

Shadows different from anything my powers summoned, spoke to. Born in a lightless, airless prison meant to break him. Instead, he had learned its language. Though the cobalt Siphons were proof that his Illyrian heritage ran true, even the rich lore of that warrior-people, my warrior-people, did not have an explanation for where the shadowsinger gifts came from. They certainly weren’t connected to the Siphons, to the raw killing power most Illyrians possessed and channeled through the stones to keep from destroying everything in its path. The bearer included (ACOFAS).

That his shadows came to him during childhood aligns with how Azriel describes his shadows as having always been there to keep him company.

[Azriel during second Solstice night] But even the silence weighed too heavily, and though the shadows kept him company, as they always had, as they always would, he found himself leaving the room (Azriel’s BC).

What does the company of his shadows provide?

We can gather some answers from how others describe what the shadows do for Azriel. We should perhaps take this with a grain of salt, as it is noted that no one really understands the nature of his powers (see Rhys’ quote above). To guard against this lack of understanding, we will combine this information with a look at how his shadows actually behave.

[Feyre’s POV. Going to Rita’s with Cass and Mor] It was an effort not to stare at Azriel as he watched them head up the steep street, arm in arm and bickering with every step. The shadows gathered around his shoulders, like they were indeed whispering to him, shielding him, perhaps. His broad chest expanded with a deep breath that sent them skittering, and then he set into an easy, graceful stroll after them (ACOMAF).

[Feyre, about Azriel’s shadows when Azriel attacks Eris during the meeting with the High Lords] “Enough, Azriel,” Rhys ordered. Perhaps those shadows that now slid and eddied around the shadowsinger hid him from the wrath of the binding magic. The others made no move to interfere, as if wondering the same (ACOWAR).

[Feyre, about Azriel’s shadows during their rescue mission] Azriel had made us invisible—shadow-bound. We sprinted between tents, feet flying over the grass and dirt. “Hurry,” he whispered. “The shadows won’t last long” (ACOWAR).

[Feyre, when searching for the Hyberns] We searched, but the missed arrows had been snatched up by our attackers —and even the shadows and wind told Azriel nothing, as if our enemy had been hidden from them as well (ACOMAF).

[Rhys, when Azriel gives him intel ahead of the first Solstice together] Az’s expressionless face was precisely the reason he’d never lost to us at cards. “Why should I be the judge of that?” “You mean to tell me that you weren’t bluffing when you said you didn’t track Lucien’s every movement?” Nothing. Absolutely nothing on that face, on his scent. The shadows, whatever the hell they were, hid too well. Too much. Azriel only said coldly, “If Lucien kills Graysen, then good riddance” (ACOFAS).

The shadows are explicitly described by others (Rhys and Feyre here) as protecting him by shielding him, giving him information, and hiding his emotional state, and even his scent.

Related to the shadows tendency to shield and hide Azriel’s emotional state and his scent, we know that Azriel is often described as unreadable. In fact, “unreadable” (and words of similar meaning) is one of the most common explicit descriptors of Azriel (I have catalogued all of those too). For one, his emotional state is often unreadable, and secondly, we know he also hides how physical pain affects him. Meaning, SJM has made a blatant point of telling us how being stone-faced and unreadable is one of Azriel's defining traits.

[Feyre asking Rhys about Azriel] “Does he mind what he does? Not the spying, I mean. What he did to the Attor today.” Rhys loosed a breath. “It’s hard to tell with him—and he’d never tell me. I’ve witnessed Cassian rip apart opponents and then puke his guts up once the carnage stopped, sometimes even mourn them. But Azriel … Cassian tries, I try—but I think the only person who ever gets him to admit to any sort of feeling is Mor.And that’s only when she’s pestered him to the point where even his infinite patience has run out” (ACOMAF).

[As Cass and Az save Feyre and Lucien from Lucien’s brothers] Azriel flicked the blood off his own blade and stalked toward me. I met the hazel eyes of the shadowsinger. The cool face that hid such pain—and kindness (ACOWAR).

[About allying with Eris] Mor whirled on Azriel. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Azriel held her gaze unflinchingly. Didn’t so much as rustle his wings. “Because you would have tried to stop it. And we can’t afford to lose Keir’s alliance—and face the threat of Eris" (ACOWAR).

[When questioning Amren about how to escape the Prison] Because the shadow in the corner behind Amren … that was Azriel. The obsidian hilt of Truth-Teller in his scarred hand. He’d moved without my realizing it—though I had no doubt the others had likely been aware. Amren bared her teeth at him. Azriel’s beautiful face didn’t so much as shift (ACOWAR).

[After the meeting with the High Lords] Rhys rose from his seat and dragged a hand through his hair. “That went well. It would seem none of us won our bet about who’d fight first.” Azriel stared at the floor, stone-faced. “Sorry.” The word was emotionless—distant (ACOWAR).

[After Feyre and Azriel rescued Elain and Azriel is injured] I didn’t know how Azriel had managed to stay aloft—stay conscious during those minutes in the sky. I didn’t let myself think about how and when and why he’d learned to manage pain like that (ACOWAR).

So, assuming Rhys and Feyre are correct in how they interpret Azriel’s shadows, it seems Azriel has had a need for concealing his physical and emotional state, since his childhood. Which makes sense, considering what he went through. He has learned to hide how external threats affect him. Logically, to protect him. His shadow powers seem to have come to him during this time and in doing so his shadows are described by others as hiding and shielding him. It makes sense, because what do shadows do in a material sense? They hide, shield, veil. What do you wish to hide, shield and veil? That which you wish to protect from external threats.

So, for one: the shadows shield him – to protect him.

Aside from shielding him, the shadows give Azriel information (again, see above how his shadows are described). Rhys says Azriel “learned their language”. This seems true in both a figurative and literal sense. In his role as Spymaster, he seems to use his shadows to gather information. What use does he have for information? To know where there are threats so the threats can be neutralized or otherwise dealt with. Or to gather information so that the IC’s plans can be safely executed. That is to say, for protection. Let's look at some examples:

[The IC about trying to get into the human courts to access the half of the book] Rhys shook his head. “One, it’d take too long. We don’t have that time.” I thought of the past few wasted weeks, how hard Azriel had tried to get into those courts. If even his shadows and spies could not breach their inner workings, then I doubted an assassin would (ACOMAF).

[Feyre to Rhys, about Eris, during negotiations with Kier and Eris at the Court of Nightmares] What is he doing here, I speared down the bond, not bothering to hide any of what coursed through me. Making sure Keir agrees to help, was all Rhys said, the words tight and clipped. Restrained. As if he were still holding the full might of his rage in check. Shadows curled around Azriel’s shoulders, whispering in his ear as he stared down Eris (ACOWAR).

[Cassian about Azriel perhaps learning about Nesta] Cassian hadn’t told anyone about the step he’d found with the clear finger holes burned into it. He wondered if Azriel had somehow learned of them, the news brought to him on his shadows’ whispers (ACOSF).

[Nesta tells Cassian and Azriel the women should be taught Valkyrian techniques] She’d meant it in jest, but the words rumbled through the space, as if she’d spoken some great truth, something that made fate sit up. Azriel turned to them fully this time, eyes narrowed. Like those shadows had whispered something to him (ACOSF).

[After Nesta tells Feyre about the risk of her pregnancy] Cassian soared over the House of Wind to find Azriel there, hovering in place, a heavy pack in his hand. Whether that had been from a separate warning from Rhys, or Az’s own shadows whispering, he didn’t know (ACOSF).

[Cassian and Azriel with Koschei] “You fell for it rather easily,” Koschei went on, “though you took your time making contact. I thought you’d rush in for the kill, brute that you are.” They could make out nothing of him beyond the shadows of his form. Even Azriel’s own shadows kept tucked behind his wings. Koschei laughed, and Azriel stiffened. Like his shadows had murmured a warning (ACOSF).

[Azriel, alone during second Solstice night] Az snickered to himself, to the listening shadows around him. Sleep, they seemed to whisper in his ear. Sleep. I wish I could, he answered silently. But sleep so rarely found him these days (Azriel’s BC).

[Second Solstice night] Azriel winnowed into shadows before she could say anything, appearing at the doors to Rhys's study a heartbeat later. His shadows whispered in his ear that Elain had gone upstairs (Azriel’s BC).

So, secondly, the shadows give him information – again, in general to protect him in some shape or form (although, as seen above, there's instances of a more neutral information exchange occurring between Azriel and his shadows).

The shadows’ behaviour

It seems not enough to take Rhys and Feyre’s word for how Azriel’s shadow powers work. Let’s also look at how the shadows behave.

There is little consistency in what precise words are used to describe the shadows’ behaviour. Many different words are used - shadows coiling, curling, wreathing, swarming, writhing, shielding and so on - during quite similar circumstances. As stated, I have catalogued every mention of Azriel’s shadows in all books, and in general, when the shadows move around a lot and move closer to Azriel, there is some form of distress, emotional or physical or both. I will include a few examples, but across all books, there really is too much to give a full picture of the shadows’ behaviour during distress without including a very large amount of examples. I've tried to choose examples that exemplify the shadows' general behaviour during distress. Since I have catalogued all mentions of his shadows by category, i believe I can do this with a satisfactory amount of accuracy (but feel free to correct me if you disagree).

[After Azriel attacked Eris at the meeting with the High Lords] But I looked to Azriel, currently leaning against the wall beside the floorto-ceiling window, shadows fluttering around him. Even the birds in their cages nearby remained silent. I said down the bond, Is he all right? Rhys tucked his hands behind his head, though his mouth tightened. Likely not, but if we try to talk to him about it, it’ll only make it worse. (ACOWAR)

[Rhys says he would “thank the Cauldron” if Amarantha showed up, offering them a chance to defeat Hybern] Too far—this was pushing them both too far. I tried to catch Cassian’s gaze, but he was monitoring them closely, his golden-brown skin unnaturally pale. Azriel’s shadows gathered close, half veiling him from view (ACOWAR).

[Before the final battle in ACOWAR] “I can fight on foot,” Azriel said to Rhys. “No.” There was no arguing with that tone. Azriel seemed like he was debating it, but Amren shook her head in warning and he backed down, shadows coiling at his fingers (ACOWAR).

[Cassian and Azriel at breakfast, Cassian and Nesta are needed at the river house] “At least you’re honest.” Azriel smirked. “You and Nesta are wanted down there.” “Because of the shit with Elain?” Azriel stilled. “What happened to Elain?” Cassian waved a hand. “A fight with Nesta. Don’t bring it up,” he warned when Azriel’s eyes darkened. Cassian blew out a breath. “I take that as a no regarding the meeting topic, then.” “It’s about what I discovered. Rhys said he requires you both there.” “It’s bad, then.” Cassian surveyed the shadows gathered around Az. “You all right?” His brother nodded. “Fine.” But shadows still swarmed him. Cassian knew it was a lie, but didn’t push it. Az would speak when he was ready, and Cassian would have better success convincing a mountain to move than getting Az to open up (ACOSF).

[After Nesta’s powers are revealed during her nightmare] Then Rhys inhaled sharply, his body full of movement again. Azriel asked, his own shadows gathering at his shoulders, “What happened?” (ACOSF).

The shadows moving closer to Azriel or moving around a lot when he is under some form of distress is a general trend, and a strong one. However, shadows sometimes are present under neutral or more positive circumstances too. I would say there is still often (but not always) some emotional state that could perhaps explain the presence of the shadows in examples like those. Some examples of more positive or neutral circumstances:

[When Nesta is grateful for her Solstice gift] And then she jumped to her feet and flung her arms around Azriel. The room went silent for a beat. But Azriel chuckled and squeezed her gently. Cassian smiled to see it— to see them. “Thank you,” Nesta said, quickly pulling away to marvel at the device. “It’s brilliant.” Azriel blushed and stepped back, shadows swirling. (ACOSF)

[Azriel, trying to get through to a horny Cassian that him and Nesta are needed at the river house] Azriel cleared his throat, and Cassian blinked. “What?” “I said, are you two ready to head down to the river house?” “Two?” He blinked through the cloud of arousal. Azriel chuckled, shadows skittering. “Did you listen at all last night?” “No.” “At least you’re honest.” Azriel smirked. “You and Nesta are wanted down there.” (ACOSF)

What we can learn from this is that he is in general in a state of emotional or physical distress when his shadows are very active. His shadows being present is not always a negative thing (as in, him being negatively affected by something). However, his shadows vanishing or fading is always a positive thing (as in, he is in a positive situation).

Because the only entirely consistent pattern to be found is that the shadows are only described as vanishing, fading, or lighting up when he is happy, content, and relaxed. In all five books, it seems this has only (as in, being explicitly mentioned) happened around Feyre, Elain, and Mor.

[Feyre, about Azriel] Yes—Azriel, who kept a step away, whose shadows trailed him and seemed to fade in her [Mor’s] presence. (ACOMAF)

(I won’t do much deeper analysis in this post, but I am sure there’s more to this passage than meets the eye. As far as I’m aware, no other fae has been described to appear “human”, and the fact that it is done in connection to “the blinding sun”… I think there may be some Elriel symbolism going on here).

[Solstice night] Elain sucked in a soft breath that whispered over his skin. His shadows skittered back at the sound. They'd always been prone to vanish when she was around. (Azriel’s BC)

I believe these are all instances of his shadows vanishing from all the books (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong). I think all the above examples show his shadows’ behaviour is consistent with the idea of the shadows being there to protect him (by shielding him and giving him information). The shadows came to him, he learned their language at a time when that was what he needed, and they stayed with him.

Remember also what I discussed earlier about his gentle and soft traits coming out the most around Feyre and, even more, around Elain - two of the only three people in whose presence his shadows are described as vanishing or fading. To say that his shadows vanishing is somehow indicative of the shadows not liking that person, or that person being evil is simply not aligning with canon. Canonically, the shadows only vanish when the opposite is true. Shadows vanishing coincide with Azriel being able to express his soft and gentle side, not needing to be stone-faced and shielded. As such, his shadows vanishing cannot be described as anything other than positive. Not needing his shadows is character development for Azriel, as it means he is breaking free of whatever darkness he had to embody to get through the dungeon*. It means he is letting go of being unreadable and guarded and constantly informed of his surroundings. He is joking and connecting with Feyre by the lake during her flying lessons. He is relaxed, happy and content (and smitten, to put it lightly) around Elain.

*This is most certainly not to say I think he will lose his shadow powers overall. It’s just that he doesn’t seem to really need them when he is in a state of safety and contentedness (which it seems he until now rarely has been).

(Again, my personal view is that I don’t think there is an inherent darkness to Azriel. I think he was forced to embody such traits to get through the abuse he was put through. As such, I don’t think Azriel needs someone that can “handle his darkness”. I think he needs someone that lets him be himself, which is gentle and caring. Under such conditions, as seen above, there appears to not be much darkness to him.)

Conclusion

To conclude, and get back to canon once again, who is the only person around whom the shadows are described by Azriel himself, the one the shadows keep company, as “prone to vanish” (Azriel’s BC)? Elain. With Elain, his “head goes quiet” and his “shadows vanish” (Azriel’s BC). It now becomes glaringly obvious what it means for his shadows to vanish.

Additionally, we know that Azriel even says in his bonus chapter that he doesn’t need his shadows to read Elain. He already understands her, and he trusts his understanding of her to not need his shadows to inform him. Not even to double check.

[Azriel and Elain, alone on second Solstice night] “I..." He watched her swallow. She clutched a small gift in her hands. "I was coming to leave this on your pile of presents. I forgot to give it to you earlier." Lie. Well, the second part was a lie. He didn't need his shadows to read her tone, the slight tightening of her face. She'd waited until everyone was asleep before venturing back down, where she'd leave her gift amongst his other, opened presents, subtle and unnoticed. (Azriel’s BC)

To wrap up, lets get back to the symbolism. As seen in the quotes above, Azriel relaxes in the presence of light, implicit and explicit. His shadows vanish. There is peace and quiet in the presence of light. He suns his wings where there is light. Why? We know how defensive Illyrian males are about their wings. Rhys didn’t let anyone so much as touch his wings for 500 years. So, what could it mean for an Illyrian male to be so relaxed as to sun his wings in someone’s company? There is only one reason any Illyrian male would be so lax about their surroundings as to sun his wings. To sun your wings is to be safe. His shadows, who shield and protect him, do not need to do so where there is light. Around whom do his shadows vanish? Around whom are they even “prone to vanish” (Azriel’s BC)? Around the one with whom he is the most gentle and soft, because she inspires it and that is who he is when he is not in distress. Around the one who is consistently described as the very manifestation of light and sunshine. She is “like a summer dawn” (ACOMAF), “full of light”, like a “blooming spring” (ACOWAR), a “bloom of color and sunshine” (ACOFAS), “glowing like the sun at dawn” (Azriel’s BC), with a smile “as bright as the setting sun” (ACOSF).

Elain.

The lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her.

I think Feyre was partly wrong. At least, she only got half of the equation right. She said Elain would cling to Azriel for some peace and quiet (ACOMAF). From what we have seen, it goes both ways. Azriel clings to Elain for peace and quiet. In doing so, his head goes quiet, and his shadows vanish. Because he is safe, content, and himself.

And then, shadows vanished, he suns his wings.

#elriel

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jasmineandcedar · 20 days

Text

"Thoughts of you consume"

War of Hearts by Ruelle is one of my Elriel anthems.

It gives Elriel from Azriel's POV, as of ACOSF.

Too many razor-sharp thoughts sliced him any time he grew still long enough for them to strike. Too many wants and needs left his skin overheated and pulling taut across his bones. So he slept only when his body gave out, and even then only for a few hours.

Come to me

In the night hours

I will wait for you

And I can't sleep

'Cause thoughts devour

Thoughts of you consume

...

I can't help but love you

Even though I try not to

I can't help but want you

I know that I'd die without you

...

Stay with me a little longer

I will wait for you

Shadows creep

And want grows stronger

Deeper than the truth

...

I can't help but love you

Even though I try not to

I can't help but want you

I know that I'd die without you

...

I can't help but be wrong in the dark

'Cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts

I can't help but want oceans to part

'Cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts

#elriel #the joy I will feel when they can finally be together #Spotify

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jasmineandcedar · 21 days

Text

"Elain's large brown eyes flickered, well aware of all that"

Elain and Azriel's mutual understanding as a foundation of their relationship

This post is part of a much longer text I have written about three components of ACOSF and the bonus chapter that I believe solidified Elriel as endgame - namely SJM's depiction of Azriel's pain, their mutual attraction, and (most importantly) their mutual understanding of each other.

This post will only be about Elain and Azriel's mutual understanding of each other, and how this mutual understanding is explicitly depicted in Azriel's bonus chapter. I might post more about the other components some other time.

Azriel and Elain's mutual understanding

Not only is there mutual attraction between Elain and Azriel, as can be seen most blatantly in the bonus chapter. Even more importantly, the entire foundation of their relationship is built upon a quiet, mutual understanding that we have seen develop ever since ACOMAF – where Elain turned to Azriel for quiet reassurance already during their first meeting (and a seemingly self-conscious Azriel started spouting poetry at her). Let’s look at how this mutual understanding is depicted in the bonus chapter.

He offered her a smile back. "I wasn't sure if I should give you your present." He left the rest unspoken. Because her mate was here, sleeping a level up. Because her mate had been in the family room and Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much. Elain's large brown eyes flickered, well aware of all that. Just as he knew she was well aware of why Azriel so rarely came to family dinners these days.

This is not two people solely lusting after each other. It is true that in this moment they are lusting after each other. But this lust is not built on a superficial physical attraction. It is built upon something like two years of development of a connection between them that is not reliant on words or physical touch. Is subtle and deeper. We have literally seen it develop on page since ACOMAF where Elain looked to that poetry-spouting Azriel for reassurance during their first meeting. It is mutual understanding (ACOMAF, ACOWAR), leading to mutual attraction (ACOFAS), leading to lust (ACOSF). The mutual understanding is the foundational component. That is, I think, why Azriel’s “lust” comes off as so intense, and why he is in literal pain. Because he isn’t just lusting after some random beautiful girl. He desires someone who he has a deep connection with. And, given Elain’s reaction to him simply touching her neck, she seems to feel the same. We don’t need her POV to tell that.

This connection between them is blatantly obviously depicted through the quiet, wordless, mutual understanding between them. Azriel only has to say he was unsure about whether he should give her his gift, and he knows Elain understands all the nuances of that hesitation. It’s not only that she knows it, but also that he knows that she knows. This is very important. That is not just Elain quietly understanding Azriel. It is a wordless, mutual understanding, an understanding that the other knows your intentions, which is deep. It is the reason they don’t need many words to communicate a lot.

These few sentences tells us the depth of their relationship through their mutual understanding of each other. It could even be considered the classic writing mistake of telling instead of showing, and in doing so treating the reader as lacking the ability to pick up more subtle hints. Yet somehow, some readers seem to entirely miss this explicit display of “tell-don’t-show”. Personally, I think some of it stems from a deep-rooted misunderstanding of quiet and introverted people, and perhaps even something of a dislike of such traits. For fellow introverts and quiet individuals, this is probably not surprising, but it is none the less a little painful to see. With Azriel and Elain, it has always been a few sentences or paragraphs here and there. Its perhaps easily overlooked (it shouldn’t be, but I’m being generous). But if you are a person of few words, words have deep meaning and are easy to pick up on.

Elriel confirmed

These few sentences in the bonus chapter, depicting their mutual understanding, also already confirms that the necklace situation will not end Elriel. Because Elain already knows why Azriel hesitates. And Azriel knows she knows why he hesitates. She quite literally knows he is tormented by the mating bond between her and Lucien and suffers simply being in the near vicinity of it (as seen in the quote above). Him hesitating, with both of them knowing all of the above, is not rejection whatsoever. It is quite frankly the absolute opposite.

Azriel's hesitation is the opposite of rejection because it proves the gift is romantic in its intent. Otherwise, there would be no hesitation, because there would be nothing controversial about a friend giving a friend a gift, and he would have given it to her in front of their family. But he isn’t just a friend giving a friend a gift, is he? A friend wouldn't be tormented by the mere scent of her mating bond. They both know there is more to their feelings for each other, as shown is Elain’s understanding of why Azriel hesitates. And remember, Azriel knows Elain knows he hasn’t rejected her. How do we know this? Because he blatantly states he knows she knows why he has avoided her by not coming to family dinners. Why has he avoided her? He could easily have just rejected her and treated her like a friend and avoided all this trouble. Instead, he has avoided her. Why would he do that? It is because he can’t reject her. Because there are “too many razor-sharp thoughts”, “too many wants and needs”. He wants her. And she knows this, because she understands his feelings towards the mating bond, and why he hasn’t come to family dinners. It is blatant.

All throughout ACOSF, SJM showed instead of told, by depicting Azriel’s actions instead of his inner thoughts. In the bonus chapter, she gave us the cheat sheet and finally tells instead of shows (the most explicit of narrative techniques). She tells us Azriel’s inner thoughts, which give explicit meaning to the actions she showed. She puts Elriel’s mutual understanding explicitly, word for word, on paper, and it still wasn’t picked up by some. I understand why SJM said it would be obvious after ACOSF, because she made it so. And the bonus chapter solidified it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

The necklace situation is not ending Elriel. Such an interpretation is juvenile at best (which is fine), and willfully ignorant at worst (not as fine). The necklace situation is merely a vessel to communicate their mutual attraction, their mutual understanding, and the obstacle that fate represents in the development of their relationship. It will likely never be shallow miscommunication that will be their ultimate enemy, because their relationship is already deeper than that. These are two individuals that don’t even need words to understand each other. It is fate itself, or the corruption of it, that will be their ultimate enemy.

ACOSF and the bonus chapter confirm Elriel beyond a shadow of a doubt. It shows, no, it explicitly tells us, that their relationship is already deeper than some might have picked up on. It confirms to me that it is the two of them challenging fate, manifested by the Cauldron and Elain's mating bond, that will be the obstacle Elain and Azriel will need to overcome in order to fully act on their already established feelings for each other. Were it not for the Cauldron giving Elain a different mate, and all the political implications of that fate, she would have clearly already given Azriel that taste he so desires.

#elriel

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