#and I believe he wanted to explore them much better than 5 chapters

[angy-grrr]

SJ's internal changes (I recall it was the editor in chief, someone really influential) happening JUST at the same time it was announced the epilogue would be 5 chapters (same week) + the ending not bringing up huge plot points (where the other villains are, why theres no actual Himiko corpse and instead we got Ochako's grief over that assumption, what happened to Dabi, what was the All Might vestige, why the bkdk handhold was off screen when its a big deal for them, who is Deku's dad, etc), letting them linger in the air while trying to make an okay ending + that strange two week break because of "schedule conflicts" + choosing to end BNHA under even more pressure even tho its one of the most important manga in SJ + Horikoshi talking about the ending days after the official release and bringing up how grateful he is for being able to work in SJ, as in past tense (like he is grateful he worked here, but isnt happening again; I say this bc I expected him to say something around the lines of "I hope im able to create something good here again soon!", considering we already know he has another manga project, if I remember correctly)

Thinking about it.

Thinking about how he could let it as it is, or try to pick it up and confirm the things that do matter to his story.

Btw, im not talking about the handhold as a shipper -it was genuinely important for them, as it symbolizes both their new mutual understanding and an acceptance as the new All Might duo thanks to their respective heroisms. It wouldn't be weird to add it in the epilogue, especially considering so many characters hold hands in non romanitc ways, so to choose not to when its arguably the most important one... Idk, it felt really weird as it was the only thing I was sure would get sooner or later.

[lokeefe19]

Murder Drones - Wait? You’re Me? Chapter 2 - Double the Goths and Trouble

Another Chapter in my Swap Au meets regular verse saga featuring N understanding multiverses.

Uzi POV

By The time Uzi Got back to where the spire was and Saw that  U was Already there waiting for Her to get back.

“Wow. I Got lost finding this place and I still got here before you. I thought you knew this place?” U said to her waiting there underneath a light post.

”Well I was trying to catch up but You Took off without Waiting.” Uzi tries to explain to Her.

”Yeah Sorry. I’m not Used to anyone actually Competing in one of My Dare races. Nick never Understands what to do with them and T always Finds a way to Cheat.” U explains to her.

So U then Turns around to Face towards the Location of the Spire.

”So. This is the Place?” She Asks Uzi.

”Yep. The Home Away From the Bunker.”  Uzi Responds back to U.

”A Bit More Organized With the Worker Bodies Placed into the Spire.” She comments on the design of the outer exterior.

”Any Reason Why?” 

“No idea.” 

”Anyway. Let’s go inside and I will give you a tour of the…” But  then Uzi stopped Mid sentence and Then groaned to herself.

”UGH. I forgot to get the Scraped Worker Bodies Like I asked N. And I got So distracted by You that I completely forgot Why I was out here.” She Complained to herself. “Alright New plan. I’m going back out to find some Worker Bodies While you explore the place by yourself.” 

“Ok. I’m Sure I can find my Way Around here if it’s like my Universe’s Spire.” U responds to Uzi.

“Good. I Will be back.” Uzi said while proceeding out towards the snowy hillsides Leaving U At the spire.

Uzi hopes That what she is doing is the right call. She Doesn’t know what would happen Once N or even V sees that there is another Disassembly drone in The Pod. Let alone It being an alternative Version Of Her.

 Serial U Pov

 So U entered the Spire and began to look around the Place and was impressed with the look of the Pod.

”Huh. This is way better looking than it does back home. Not by Much but I say it’s a 5 percent increase.” U complaints.

“At least the Interior walls aren’t Colored Pink. Ughh! Why did L and D think that was a good idea?”

One of the many things that Made U Could Not Stand L and D as leaders is that they Decided what Their headquarters Needed. An example of this was when they painted walls Pink. Just because they found some Paint didn’t mean they needed to use it. Luckily she managed to find some Purple Paint And Repainted the walls After Their Disassembled death by Her. While the walls here were just a standard Gray it was still better than Pink.

So while U was looking around the Spire She eventually heard a metallic sound of someone else walking Into the room she was in.

“Hey Uzi. Are you Back? I Heard the Door Open and wanted to see if you needed any help….

It was a Male Disassembly drone. He was pretty tall. But that’s to be expected to her size. Even in her squad she was seem as the short one compared to the rest of the squad. A fact that T loves to make fun of her. So she was not surprised at that fact. But what did surprise her is that he just stopped in front of her and Just Stood there in complete shock. Did he Break or Glitch Out?

“Uh Hello?” 

”Uzi!? What happened To You?” He then Started to Question her.

“What are you talking about? I’m not Uzi?  She then says to him.

”Oh No! You have Been Reprogrammed into a Disassembly Body And Made you forget who you are.” He saids to her in a worried tone.

“I knew I Should have come with you outside But whatever this is we will fix this together as a team.” 

U didn’t know what this Disassembly drone was talking about. Why does she think she is Uzi? But then it hit her. This was N. The disassembly drone Version of her Worker Friend Nick. So He probably has noticed the similarity In the face between her and Uzi and Thinks she is her. She had to somehow explain to him but U wasn’t sure if was going to Believe In alternative Universes. But She was going to Try.

But Before She could Say Anything she Then Heard the Door Open and The Sound of A board being Scratched Across the Floor.

”N! I’m back With The Worker Bodies that I promised to get and Totally didn’t forget.” 

It Was Her Alternative Worker Self Who came through the pod door with The worker parts that she was getting. But then She Stopped herself in front of them when She saw Her And N Staring at Each other.

“Well? This Is interesting.” Uzi said to herself.

“Wait? Uzi?” N then saids in a confused tone  after noticing her.

”Yeah?” She Tells N.

Then N Moves His head back and forth Between U And Uzi trying to have His Processor Make Sense of What’s Going on.

”But I Thought that? Wait What? I’m so Confused!” N said while pointing At them Both While Looking very worried.

”N. I know this May seem hard to Explain but this is me from Another Universe.” Uzi says trying to calm N Down.

“Alternate What?” N then saids in a confused tone.

“When I went out to get The worker parts like I said I would I ran until U here. She is me from another universe where I’m a disassembly Drone.” She begins to explain to N.

”So we chatted for a bit until she dared me to run back here but I forgot to get the worker parts so I went to get them and I let her come in.”

After Uzi Finished her explanation N just stood there Still looking Confused until eventually he said something.

”So Wait? You are Uzi but also not at the same time?” He saids to U. 

“Yep.”

“So? If Uzi is a disassembly drone does that mean in her Universe I’m there as well?”  N Then Asks Both Uzi and U.

“Sorta. You're actually A regular Worker drone in her world Named Nick.” Uzi explains to him.

”Really?” N said in a happy tone.

”Yep. I couldn’t believe it either.” She saids to him.

”Does that mean I do the things you hate like school and Work and Living in the bunker and…”

”Ok. Too much information About my personal life.” Uzi saids to him after he started to ramble.

”Sorry. I just got Excited thinking about it.” N says to Her.

“Ok. Sorta Understandable.” Uzi tells him.

”So Uzi? Are You going back to the bunker tonight so you can get up For School?” N then asks her.

”Crap! I do Have School Tomorrow.” She laments to herself.

Uzi tried to forget that she had school tomorrow. This meant she had to deal with Another Round of Boredom and Lizzy and Doll bullying her.

“Ughh Why do I still have to get an education?” Uzi complains to herself.

“Ok. Since I have to Go Back to the Chamber of Nightmares, which is School, I Need you to do a couple of things .” Uzi asks  N.

”Sure thing. I’m up for any task.” N happily responds.

”First I want you to take this stack of Worker Bodies and put them with the rest.” She first saids to him.

”Printed into My CPU.”  N tells Her.

”Next I want you to find a room for U.” She continues on.

”Oh! Maybe she can use J’s Old Room?” N says to Uzi.

”Who is J?”  U asks Uzi.

“The Disassembly Drone Leader that I Killed. She was a jerk.” Uzi explains to her.

”I called her a Meanie.” N says to them.

”I can see Some of similarities between him and Nick already.” U thought to herself.

“Ok You will use J’s Room until further Notice.” Uzi then says to Her.

”Sure Thing.”  She saids to Her.

“Alright. I Will head back to the Bunker now.” Uzi saids to them while beginning to head to The door of The Pod.

”Goodbye.”  N says While Waving Goodbye.

“Later.” Said U.

And So Uzi Fully Left the Pod leaving N and U there by themselves.

”So N? Where is this Room that your old leader Used to Be in before my Worker self terminated Her.” U asks him.

Not only Was U kinda interested in what this room looked like considering it couldn’t be worse than L and D’s Room with all of Their suits taking up space. She was also tired of just standing and wanted to sit down for a bit.

”It’s the next Left over there.” N points in the direction where it is.

”Thanks.” She saids while heading in that direction.

So U went To where N Told Her to Go and got greeted by a Door. Which meant that This was the Room that N told her About.

“Alright Let’s See what we got in here.” She saids to herself.

N Pov

Meanwhile Back over with N he was now sitting down in the Chair that was in the main room.

”Man. Me as A worker Drone. What an Interesting idea.”  N thinks to Herself.

”I wish I could meet him. I bet we could have lots of fun together.”

It was a Very interesting concept that N wanted to know more about. A Universe Where He was a worker and Uzi was a disassembly Drone. He wonders if V was also a worker in that Universe as well? But before he could think more about it he then remembered Something. 

“Did I Tell U about all the suits J Had in her room that we forgot to get rid of?” N then says to Himself.

”Goddamnit!”

“Oh. I guess Not.” N then saids after hearing U Yell from J’s Room.

[note-boom]

(abt ur tags on that fic rec list post) I'd love to know more gen bsd fics!!! if u don't mind pls make a list of them

OP, I hope you understand that you have unleashed a monster considering how many BSD fics I consumed. But that said, I'll try to keep it short and strictly gen for this ask, then just reblog with the rest (some do have implied ships, though). Most of them are just fluff and one-shots. And I haven't really read much fanfic recently, so most of these are my bookmarks from before I even really got into this blog and my memory on them might be shaky; generally, I either liked them because good writing, good characterization, good analysis, and/or it was just too funny/too interesting to not bookmark. Some might have Americanisms/Westernisms of things that probably don't really happen in Japan (probably?) and some might have slight character assassinations, but I don't think anything should be too gratuitously unforgivable. Also, all opinions are my own and do not reflect on either the writing or the author's original intent.

So under the cut are my absolute favourite of favourites.

Morning Light (18021 words) by FallenBrie (time loop, Atsushi character exploration, ADA!found family)

O expectations, stale and dismal airs, leave this body of mine! (20976 words) by aptlydapper (3 chapters, still my all-time favourite bsd fanfic for the writing and the concept and its execution, Chuuya joins the ADA basically but so much more than that to me)

Conundrum (23921 words) by AdmiralTDeVanto (hi, I love this AU so much, role-reversal where aku and atsu are the older figures and dazai and chuuya are the younger ones, some other au roleswaps happen but that's a surprise)

circle of praise (1898 words) by Oxalisalis (have a few by this author (love their works so much, they have some great BEAST things), basically compliment assault, ADA family, sweet and funny)

The Scent of Milk Tea (1343 words) by Sternstunde (Atsushi and Chuuya are housemates, neither is aware of the other's job, please let them meet in canon, 2 chapters and unfinished)

Reason To Live (1746 words) by Allwalkfree (time travel fic with a take on akutagawa's future character arc that left me DEAD, just...him being better than the people he was taught by okay? and him having a clearer picture of the stuff he went through etc)

hell is empty (all the devils are here) (1065 words) by Origamidragons (legit one of my FAVOURITE Gin character explorations, shoutout to the use of her character's irl short story)

in the end, you write your verse (6858 words) by Origamidragons (ADA and PM role swap and it's honestly SO GOOD that I desperately wish there was more of this (in a this fic is INCREDIBLE way, that is))

In The Choice, There's Peace (2561 words) by treetrunkdaddy (chill vibes, fic that explores Atsushi's character so nicely to me through how he copes with anger)

Mark of a Teacher (527 words) by Seito (Kunikida has been framed as a terrorist apparently and his students see the news headlines, it's hilarious and just fun)

A Study From Stripes (teach me to be loved again) (29684 words) by MidnighttWriter (beloved fic with beloved writing, Atsushi trauma exploration, might feel a little dark or emotional for bsd (in a different way, since BSD doesnt exactly shy away from being emotional or dark) but honestly beloved and SUCH a fascinating Atsushi character study to me)

would you believe me if i said i was blinded by the light? (1203 words) by elijay (half-blind Dazai real to me, but no its a really neat headcanon and that's all the fic is, which is all i wanted)

good bones (838 words) by Quintessence (I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, another Atsushi has a lot of trauma and the agency is flabbergasted)

5 Times Dazai Didn’t Understand Math And The 1 Time Kunikida Tried To Do Something About It (3746 words) by zededs (math is difficult, so is Dazai, Kunikida is stressed out, just a funny story)

how to get away with murder (10000 words) by magdalenes (11 chapters and unfinished, but it's SO SO good, the author is setting up the mystery so well, and it's basically just....detectives doing detective work but possibly also avoiding other detectives, more plotty than charactery)

what is a name (640 words) by Seito (guys, seriously, read this, im serious it has SUCH a good theory and the IMPLICATIONS of this to the larger bsd story????)

a secret for a secret (2302 words) by Oxalisalis (another of my FAVOURITE Gin fics, this author DELIVERED so well on their characterisation, slight canon divergence but perhaps not?)

But yeah. Because I somehow ended up opening over 130 tabs (that was after narrowing things down. i am so normal about BSD) for this ask, I'll just....reblog with more for those who are interested in gen fics. (It's why it took me a while, apologies.)

[whateverthedragonswant]

If 911 was a fanfic or book I was reading and Buddie got together in only Chapter 7 after some great development in the first 6 chapters and putting the pieces into place, I personally would be pretty disappointed. We may think we want Buddie right now but if we got it tomorrow, how would you actually feel? A temporary elation? Once that get together happens and we see a little domesticity and figuring things out like how to tell Christopher and their coworkers, how to deal being in danger at work on the same shift, how they feel about moving in together, dates, all of it -- where would they go from there? What more could they explore? How would it come into play on the same shift of the 118 over and over again? When one of them or both is in danger over and over again? It runs the risk of things becoming stale very quickly, because of how build-up that has been worked into their stories (and joint story) in the last six seasons.

I don't know if anyone has ever talked about this before but one thing Bathena, Madney, and Henren have in common is that they don't work the same job/shift. Something that has been remarked on before by Oliver or Tim I believe in earlier seasons (in reference to Buck's relationships with Taylor and having that person outside of the 118). Things can intersect sometimes like for Madney or Bathena but ultimately, there's a line there. Talk of all sexuality comments aside for a second, Buck and Eddie do not have that line yet. They did in season 5 for a bit but it didn't work out for Eddie too well (and neither were even close to being ready in the story line for anything more than friendship/family then). So had Buck actually taken Tommy up on his offer to train so he could do both the 118 and the air rescue, that could have been another line that got them closer.

However, saying that, there are still parallels running between Bathena, Madney, Henren, and Buddie still. There is a reason Buck is hooking up with a firefighter for his first boyfriend (yes, I heard Tommy was originally going to be with Eddie first, doesn't change why Tim decided to go with Tommy as thee guy) who is not in the 118.

And Eddie may be "heterosexual" (I don't think Ryan's comments were meant to be taken as some of them have been taken btw, I think he was talking about the moment of Buck's coming out and how important that was), but there's no viable explanation for why Eddie didn't like or got jealous of Buck's other girlfriends (Abby, Taylor) while barely interacting with the others once they started dating Buck (Ali, Natalia). And now, Buck is in a relationship with a man and Eddie is beyond cool with it, no jealousy or dislike. Tommy got the approval before Eddie either knew he would be dating Buck and Eddie isn't even thinking twice about it. Quite a turnaround considering his history with Buck's former flames, wouldn't you say?

And let's not forget that Buck has basically had the same (paralleled) thing going on with Eddie's relationships with women. He had no problem with Eddie dating any of these women but he never interacted with Shannon, he wouldn't even look at Ana, and he barely interacted with Marisol (after she and Eddie began dating). ...kind of makes you think, doesn't it?

Let's just let their story unfold organically. It will be a much better payoff when/if it happens, trust me. And you will enjoy the show that much more.

Hang in there.

P.S. The symbolism of coffee, pizza, popcorn, and beer are still very much a thing. *wink*

[seyaryminamoto]

From what I remember in your story, even taking Iroh's initial biases into account I thought part of his intense hostility leading up to his report to Ozai was that he was truly convinced that Azula's true nature was either no better or even significantly worse than Ozai's due to the Iroh's suspicions arc. Azula herself told Sokka she was worried that by throwing him of the trail of their relationship that she may have brought the worst out of him. Honestly this was probably my favorite exploration of their conflict, because if they were truly able to trust each other and talk they could have avoided so much pain and trouble, but both of them over the course of the story had developed genuine and/or biased reasons not to trust one another and viewed themselves as doing the right thing despite their actions ultimately resulting in the worst outcome. Azula was trying to prevent a known adversary from having ammunition to ruin their lives and future plans, and Iroh believed that he was essentially hindering the fire nation by turning what he thought were essentially two Evil Ozais with a good relationship with one another into enemies. I can't lie that I'm not slightly disappointed that in the latest chapter that this aspect of their conflict wasn't brought up more explicitly in the conversation with Zuko when Iroh was talking about his biases. Was I personally thinking that the dynamic was more significant than it actually was or is that dynamic being saved for a future conversation Iroh may have with Sokka and Azula?

Uuuuuh, as for the last question... I don't really know if I'll bring it up some more since I do think I've had Iroh acknowledge why and how he fucked up in that respect in the past + exteriorized that if Azula had acted differently he might just have done it too? Am I crazy for thinking so? Did I write that or didn't I? That's a complicated game to play when you're almost at 5 million words of a story... 🤣

Azula and Iroh miiiight have one more conversation in the future and maybe this will come up there, but I haven't written it yet so I won't make any promises on that front. Admittedly, I don't expect their future encounter to be particularly fruitful. Iroh is 100% genuine in what he has understood and learned, though, that can't be denied and I always have hoped to portray him not as a super wicked villain but as a character who thinks he understands far more than he actually does, with motivations that push him into making mistakes he very much comes to regret.

This being said, the Azula-Iroh and Zuko-Ozai parallels in this story are and always have been 100% intentional. Those two tugs-of-war have been going on forever, and the crux of them was very much the fact that Azula and Iroh distrusted and second-guessed and suspected each other soooo much... because they have similar natures, similar thought processes, and they're both intellectual, suspicious, hiding what's REALLY going on underneath the surface, and immediately wary when they recognize all those traits in each other too. Likewise, Zuko and Ozai have some REALLY ugly parallels and one of those parallels, already given away by the chapter you sent this ask over, is going to be the driving force of the conflict between those two, much as a similar thing was the driving force between Iroh and Azula, in its own way: the more they fight to push the other away, the harder they reject the other, the more they end up embodying the flaws they see in that other person, to an extent where they could do absolutely TERRIBLE things just out of wanting to push the other one as far away as possible.

So yeah, the point was never for Iroh to feel like some sadistic mustache-twirling villain who wanted Azula to suffer just for shits and giggles. He had his reasons to do what he did. Doesn't mean he was right. Doesn't mean he should've done it. What it means is it made sense in his head due to his biases, the information he had at hand at the moment, and the particularly awful relationship he had with Azula. Likewise, Azula's rejection of Iroh back in "Iroh's suspicions" caused her uncertainty and anguish because she KNEW she had taken it too far. She was afraid of the consequences. A part of her KNEW that if she acted differently, there was a chance, however slim, that Iroh might not have made the choice he did. And that's why this is such a messed up situation! :')

Ultimately, I want my characters to have motivations that just... add up. That can be traced. That, upon looking at their actions and choices, anyone can go "oh yeah, this is why they did whatever they did". This is good when it comes to establishing ultimate goals, and it's also good when you want to put characters to the test: how far are they willing to go, what are they ready to do to achieve whatever they're trying to achieve? How much are they willing to sacrifice for it? And the answers to those questions can be VERY extreme and painful. Just so, we can find characters who decide to back down and simply surrender over their goals when they realize that there are other things that matter more. But it's a manner of game a writer plays when it comes to gauging and figuring out what a character wants vs. needs, what a character will fight for and what it will take for them to surrender, and so on. Fundamentally, that's how I built up Iroh and Azula's chaotic dynamic. Whatever comes from that in the future, ultimately, their biggest problem may just be that they were just too smart for their own good, tried to outsmart each other a little too much, and never allowed themselves to just... accept each other properly. They came close to it once, yes! But... they failed. And it's depressing as hell, but complicated characters will always be challenging this way...

[cherokeegal1975]

Unexpected Cargo: Free Book Online

Johnathan was a family man and cargo runner and had no interest in getting entangled in royal affairs. So, when a deposed and fleeing princess arranges a meeting to give him a package to keep safe, he was reluctant to take it. But she convinced him to hide the royal seal until she needed it back despite himself. Unknown to him, she had also ticked him into carrying another precious cargo.

When Johnathan learns of the trick, he’s furious. When he confronts the princess about it, he learns it’ll be impossible to return it before it’s appointed time. Then she tells him of an unbreakable bond between them and ends a long search for someone he had lost as a boy. So, instead of revenge, he does what he can to help her. He must also avoid capture; the King would execute Johnathan if he ever found out about his secret cargo.

Links to chapters here:

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 1 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 2 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 3 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 4 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 5 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 6 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 7 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 8 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 9 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 10 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 11 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 12 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 13 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 14 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 15 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 16 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 17 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 18 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 19 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 20 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 21 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 22 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 23 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 24 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Unexpected Cargo Epilogue by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

Author's note: Okay, so I'm posting this again. I really want to know your opinions. I'll appreciate a critique if you're willing to do that. Constructive criticism will be welcome too.

I'm looking for a range of opinions and thoughts from a lot of people. I want to get a feel for how well I did with this book and I can't do that with a small group of people. As in only a few have made comments, it's hard to get a real idea of how well I really did. So, a broader range is needed. I'm looking forward to reading your comments.

I believe that I did a good job overall, but it's nice to get some perspective.

This book is an mpreg, but only because I went on an online dumpster dive as far as stories. I found that I didn't like most of what I discovered, though it was worth exploring just for the sake of my curiosity. I was inspired by it too. Thought I'd like to try to do my own version just to see if I could do better. And that led to my experimental plot, to turn what most people make into a plot stinker into a good story.

There is no fetish anything in this book. That I avoided intentionally. The main three protagonists are a cargo runner, a dragon that spends a lot of her time in the form of a little girl and a lovely talking golden rat. There's a fourth traveling companion that is of a romantic interest for my main character...with some small complications in their relationship.

I did my best to make a well-balanced plot overall. And I'm not going to give out any more spoilers than I have already.

So...feedback please! I rarely get any and all of it is appreciated very much.

Cover art by Noonibean, who is also a good writer and worth looking up on DeviantART.

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

1, 5, 7, 8, 12, 17, 18, 19, 21, 27, 33, 36, 37, 41, 44, 45, 48, 49

(The only reason I did not put any fic specific asks for this is because you have so many that I fucking adore that I can't even begin to pick out which ones to ask about 😳 perhaps tomorrow I will send another ask because my god do I love hearing from authors about their fics)

How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

I almost feel like a late bloomer, but eighteen, tbh. I only really entered "fandom" spaces in college and it spiraled from there.

5. If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

Shoot, that's hard....I think I'd choose The Nature Of The Wind, one of my stories from the TMNT fandom, because it still gets so much love and I'm proud of the darkness I explored there.

7. When is your preferred time to write?

Whenever the spirit moves me! Seriously, I prefer to be well rested, but I've written up a storm in the dead of night, too.

8. Where do you take your inspiration from?

A whole lot of places...great fic authors (like a certain someone who sent me this ask), books I've read, stories, personal experience, family stories, art. I've been known to pillage the Bible from time to time, and Greek mythology, too. It all just melts together into a bubbling witch's brew and I fish out (what I hope are) the best bits for my writing.

12. Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

Depends on the fandom...for TMNT it's Leonardo, because I love his tortured leader aesthetic and the sheer amount of trauma he puts up with is really fun. For DC it's Damian, because I have a soft spot for angsty baby murderers trying to be better.

For Avatar I'd think recom Jake, because he's such a perfect Frankenstein's monster of hunger and cruelty and pain and power. With Spider being a close second, because I love this boy and I love fucking him up.

17. Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

It’s insane. She’s insane. Her very existence is a mark of insanity, always has been and always will be. If she thinks too hard about what she wants to do, it will overwhelm her, and the fire and water are both getting closer. There is no time, no time. 

18. Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

God, so many....I've got a whole doc for dead Avatar WIPS and more TMNT WIPs than I can count. Usually they just--weren't working? It felt too familiar, sometimes, or just wrong, or it wasn't as fun to write as I'd hoped, and being fun to write usually means fun to read (I think).

21. Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Well, tbh...there's this one writer who writes the most amazing, vivid, wild and fractured and lovely stories, and who writes some pretty spectacular comments, and sends me some great asks to boot! Their name might be familiar.

27. Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I'm a go-with-the-flow little bastard (gender neutral) and I probably always will be.

33. What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Someone told me they hoped I kept writing, both in fanfiction and in general, because I was really something, and I don't know, that just stuck with me? I want to believe it's true.

36. Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

Mommy-and-me assassination attempts.

37. What’s the funniest story you’ve written?

I wrote a nsfw story once about characters fucking while they watched the Kevin McCarthy debacle and I still think I should have gotten an award for it or something. It's you're gonna need congressional approval and you don't have the votes (it's not Hamilton fanfiction I stg, I just couldn't resist the title).

41. What’s your favourite minor character you’ve written?

Honestly changes depending on who I'm writing, heh, but right now it's definitely Sylwanin te Tskaha Mo'at'ite. She deserves so much more love and attention and I miss her even though she was technically never on screen.

44. What is the last line you wrote?

It helps that if they do look at her, all they see is her baby, that they think mother and not threat. It helps that no one bothers to consider how easily the two can overlap.

45. What spurs you on during the writing process?

The high, maybe? The fact that writing feels good and getting comments feels good and I like being able to get these thoughts out of my head and share them with so many great people.

48. What’s your favourite trope to write?

Not sure if angst/abuse/trauma/violation dressing itself up as soft fluff counts as a trope, but if it is, it fucking wins hands down. I love it when the horrors try to pretend not to be horrors and never quite get there.

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

A TMNT OT4 turtlecest future fic with immortality, bondage, and the apocalypse. It's called Casting Stones at the River by GoblinCatKC and I still love it so fucking much.

[idiotic-b-gilson]

Do you remember when I made a poll? Well I do! And I want to talk about it finally (it's gonna be a long one)

On Sunday, April 23, 2023 I asked tumblr a question: when, in their opinion, was Asriel Dreemurr going to make his first appearance in Toby Fox's Deltarune (other than any potential flashbacks, which Chapter 2 showed us can happen). I've always personally felt that his potential appearance is one of the most important things that the game is building up to (plus he's my favorite Undertale character), so I wanted to gauge the UTDR community's opinion on when (or if) they thought it was going to happen

After leaving the poll open for a week and advertising it on Discord and DeviantArt (for free, if I wanted to throw money at it I would've just blazed it) I got 85 votes + my own 86th (and I also got two new mutuals from it. Shoutout to @eggylad and @ranpulsar, follow them too). The options I presented were:

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

A potential epilogue chapter after Chapter 7

I think Asriel is dead in Deltarune

I think he's alive, but he won't make a live appearance in the game

(show results)

(There is an obvious weakness in the poll, in that it doesn't have an "Other" option. For some reason I was genuinely convinced back then that I'd covered every possible option, but looking back I was probably wrong, as, for example, whether or not he arrives might depend on what ending we get. Feel free to suggest other alternatives)

From day 2 of the poll I wanted to write an analysis of the results, and try and figure out what people who voted for each option thought. I didn't ask anyone about why they voted the way that they did, not even my mutuals, so obviously that's another weakness. But it's also an excuse for me to theorize on Deltarune, and if I'm wrong as to why you voted the way that you did, feel free to correct me

I'm gonna ignore the (show results) option in my analysis, which I hope everyone will understand. I also hope the 7 people who chose it won't mind either. Aside from that, the results break down as follows:

Chapter 3: 4 votes

Chapter 4: 12 votes

Chapter 5: 8 votes (9 if you count my vote)

Chapter 6: 6 votes

Chapter 7: 32 votes

Epilogue: 4 votes

Dead: 4 votes

Alive no show: 8 votes

As we can see, the vast majority of people agree with the broad assumption that Goatbro will appear in-game at some point, though they disagree when

Most seem to think that he'll only first show up in Chapter 7 - and I can see why, for a long time I subscribed to that idea too. After all, Toriel says in Chapter 1 that he's coming home "next week." As long as the game sticks to having each chapter be a consecutive day, Chapter 7 would be just about right time for Asriel's return (same logic extends to the epilogue option, but we don't even know if there will be one, plus the way I phrased the question further helped 7's case, more on that later). Simple. However, I have since come to disagree with this whole theory

Chapters 3-5 being released together as a singular, paid package (hence my name for it: The Paid Package) indicates to me that they will constitute a "Deltarune proper" of sorts, and Chapters 6 and 7 will be the epilogue to provide final closure for the game. More specifically, I believe that The Paid Package will give us An Ending to keep us engaged in the 2-3 year wait, providing some closure to some things, but also building anticipation for the True Ending. A better way to phrase it would be a comparison to Undertale where, when you do a True Pacifist run, you first get a Neutral Ending (The Paid Package), and then play through extra content to unlock the path's true ending (Chapters 6&7)

This of course largely depends on what role Toby wants Asriel to play in Deltarune once he shows up, but I think there is so much about him that could be explored, about his personality, how he might've changed in college, about his relationship with Dess, and so on. I think Toby would want to introduce him sooner rather than later, so he has the time to do all this, and the final two chapters will probably be about stopping The Roaring, so they might have a more urgent feel to them, focusing less on character exploration and more on solving the big crisis. Not that there won't be any character exploration there, just that it'll not be a priority. And for that reason Toby might want to insert Asriel before Chapter 7, so that we get to know him better before he (probably) has to help us stop The Roaring

Which brings me to the Chapter 4 and 5 options, both of which (I think) rely on logic similar to what I described above to conclude that Asriel will feature for the first time in Deltrarune in the Paid Package Ending, although with slight differences enabled by my exact phrasing of the question, and I quote:

Dialogue spoken by him without his body or face being shown count

This is because when I made the poll I imagined that Asriel would make a brief appearance at the Chapter 5's ending cliffhanger, setting him up as a participant of Chapter 6's Dark World adventure, and I wanted for that to make it clear that that would count as Asriel being introduced in Chapter 5. And to me personally it seems that the Chapter 4 voters thought in much a similar way, but a chapter earlier. In other words, they thought that the Dark World adventure with Asriel will be in Chapter 5 rather than 6. And I'm just, incredibly furious that I didn't see that line of reasoning when setting up the poll (or rather, was furious when I wrote this post's original draft back in early May). I only included Chapters 3 and 4 in the poll for completeness' sake, and me not seeing that under my logic Chapter 4 makes just as much, if not more sense than Chapter 5 was a major source of anger for me about the poll. And I think in hindsight, the instant-gratification-seeking part of me would make me vote for Asriel appearing a chapter earlier than I originally voted for

As for Chapter 6, I imagine that the 6 people that voted for it worked under a similar cliffhanger assumption that I described above, and that Chapter 7 would see Asriel in the Dark World for the first time, but if I'm wrong feel free to correct me

The epilogue option, as I said, seems to rely on similar logic as to what I described about voting for Chapter 7, buy 1. not knowing if it'll even exist, and 2. the whole cliffhanger assumption probably led most people considering it to vote for Chapter 7 instead in the end

The Chapter 3 votes got me completely stumped though. Since there were only 4 of them, the only explaination I've got is "trolls and misclicks" but that's probably unfair. Still, I don't see any other logic, so I would appreciate feedback on this

And that brings me to the last two options: Asriel is dead, and Asriel is alive but won't show up. The latter got 8 votes, which indicates to me that it's a relatively serious idea, if less so than him showing up after all. But I can see a kind of logic that would lead to such conclusion, sort of. Kris' arc in Deltarune is probably in no small part about letting go, accepting change (which may incidentally tie into Undertale's message?), and Asriel failing to show up, be it because he's dead, or because other circumstances prevented him, might help with reinforcing that change? Although on the other hand, it would mean that Toby failed to deliver proper payoff to something he set up all the way back in Chapter 1, and has been feeding into with Chapter 2, fueling the intrigue of what happened to Asriel. If he doesn't show up due to a contrivance, I don't think it would make for a very satisfying conclusion to the story, unless handled very carefully. There's also the option that while we don't see Asriel come back to Hometown, it's heavily indicated that is happens off-screen just after the game's end. But I think that would be the worst of both worlds, and Toby wouldn't do this to us

As for Asriel being dead... my first reflex is to say that Toby wouldn't lie to us in such a majorly plot-relevant way. He said Asriel's coming back, and we've got no reason to think he's lying about this. Any potential clues that might say otherwise may well point to there being something more about Asriel, but surely the intent is not to contradict what was said earlier in clear text. Except, there's a good chance that Toby did lie to us in a majorly plot-relevant way. Not about Asriel, we have no way of knowing that, but about choice. After setting up in Chapter 1 that our choices don't matter, in Chapter 2 he did a complete 180 and gave us the Weird Route, with a radically different course and ending to the Normal one. And even if Snowgrave's description as "Fatal" turns out to have been hyperbolic and Berdly's fine actually (which I don't believe, but it is possible), there's still a ton of other, minor choices that still have a lasting impact on the world, such as what NPCs we can bring over to the Castle Town. So, do our choices in Deltarune matter or not? And if Toby did lie to us there, could he lie to us again? I personally think that there is a non-zero chance that, if Deltarune will have two (or more) endings, the one resulting from doing all the Weird Routes might see us, the player force Kris to kill Asriel (or force Kris to force a teammate to do it) But it is way to early to tell, and for now, as long as consensus among the Lighteners appears to be that Asriel is coming back, I'm trusting them

It bears mentioning that I never actually interacted much with the "Asriel is dead" theory, so I don't know all the evidence for it, so this is more of a gut instinct what I just said

But besides. Asriel is waaaaaaaay more interesting alive than dead. So much more potential to tell stories with him in the Deltarune universe. Would Toby really let all that potential go to waste? No. It's his big passion project, the game that he always wanted to make, and the best video game of the 2020s (yes, I'm calling it now. No video game that's better than Deltarune will come out this decade). Asriel is alive because it makes for a better story

So, what do you think? What was the actual reason you voted one way or the other? Do my theories make sense to you? Please engage with me i beg you

[bmaxwell]

Baldur's Gate 3

Baldur's Gate was my first-ever PC game. I came home with a shiny new PC a coworker built for me, and stopped at Best Buy to pick up the MicroProse Magic the Gathering game and Baldur's Gate. The game was positively mind blowing. It used AD&D rules (my first tabletop system) it had gorgeous isometric graphics, and FIVE (5) discs. Console gaming had nothing like it.

5 years later I was burned out on the genre* and maybe the rest of the world was too, because that style of game stopped being made. Years later when Pillars of Eternity, Tyranny, and Divinity Original Sin came along, I spent time with each but was never truly enamored with them. I figured that, like RTS games, Metallica, and kart racers, CRPG's were something I used to like.

So when Baldur's Gate 3 released in early access, I largely ignored it. I'm not going to spend time playing an unfinished story-centric game, and even if I did? I haven't finished One of These in some 20 years. It's a bad bet.

However.

I'm like an alcoholic that drives past every bar in town every day. I listen to video game podcasts, and I talk games with friends. A couple of friends' enthusiasm for the game was infectious and, near release, Larian Studios announced that they were upgrading standard preorders to the Deluxe Edition for free. Well, if I ever do want the game I'll want the deluxe edition, and I can get that upgrade for FREE now? I'm basically losing money if I don't buy it. Right?

Buy it I did, and I was immediately hooked. I even spent an eternity in the character creator,** mostly debating my race and class. I get major FOMO with games like this. I want to see everything there is, and that's just not possible. I can't pick every lock AND smooth talk every conversation AND be a follower of every god, and so on. I finally settled on a Tiefling Warlock, a patron of The Great Old Ones.

Oh Aremon. I have so much I need to warn you about. But alas, I cannot.

It turns out there's a lot more than your character and class keeping you from seeing everything Baldur's Gate 3 has to offer. The game gives you an incredible amount of freedom. The studio touted the game's "17,000 endings" which seems nonsensical. After putting a hundred hours into the game I can believe it now. There are choices and events - big and small - whose outcomes ripple out into what feels like an ocean of possibilities.

The game reacts to everything you do. I've played a few saves and have friends playing their own campaigns, and the way we swap Baldur's Gate 3 stories feels like the old days on the playground. "Oh, you saved the druid grove? Well I heard you can assassinate the leader and there's a war and the whole GROVE is basically destroyed! Billy says he went and saved their missing leader and Susie says she helped an evil Drow elf raid the grove and burn it down!"

Susie that bitch.

And that's all true. Every action you take, every quest you follow through on or ignore, every area you miss altogether - these all have tendrils that spread out and touch every other thing in the game. It feels like there's a DM with a folders full of wrinkled papers of hastily scrawled notes alongside their binder of carefully written world lore that the players may never see.

The story revolves around mindflayers, opening with your character being restrained and infected with a gruesome parasite. It's a pretty good impetus to set you off on a quest to get that teethy little tadpole out of your head. No one needs to tell you that the kingdom is in danger, you have your own personal stakes in the form of unwelcome parasite in your brain. You can just watch that opening cutscene again if you need reminding of the situation's urgency. *shudder*

Or, perhaps not. Maybe this tadpole gives you cool powers. If one tadpole is good, more must be better!

Right?

As of now I am into chapter 3, exploring the titular city of Baldur's Gate, and I have no idea how this is all going to play out.*** The shades of grey and the way the game subverts expectations speaks to the quality of its writing. Dungeons and Dragons is some 50 years old now. Creative works carry the world view of their makers - hopes, fears, sense of justice, and prejudices are all along for the ride. They HAVE to be.

It's a black and white world where the monsters are evil and the heroes are heroic. The black skinned Drow are born evil and cruel, orcs are wild, savage, dumb, and violent. Mind flayers are cruel, thriving on enslaving others for their own ends. Thankfully the writers have gone outside the tired stereotypes pretty often with Baldur's Gate 3.

It makes me happy that I have a female Tielfing demonic barbarian who is somehow big hearted and vulnerable while also being powerful and kickass. My cleric is worships Shar, goddess of darkness. She's not necessarily evil per se, but she's definitely not about holy water and rays of holy light shining down from above.

And those mind flayers? Maybe they're not so bad. Not all of them. Some of my best friends are mind flayers! Or maybe that's my tadpole parasite thing speaking. I've met monsters who were not monsters at all. It's a lot of shades of grey and I DIG that.

The game gives you some weighty choices. I've had a handful of moments where I had to sit back and ponder for a few minutes, and these usually involve my party members. Each party member I've recruited (I have missed a few that I know of also) has been wonderfully written and voice acted. They each carry their own baggage and their own backstory that they will eventually share with you. We're all in the same parasitic boat together, but we each have our own demons.****

I have a vampiric theater kid, a spunky demon lady, a melancholy mage, a heroic warlock, an emo cleric, and a fearsome warrior traveling with me. Well, had. I ended up killing one of them when their morals went too far off the rails for me. It's not a choice I made lightly and I do not regret it. My friends have had their stories play out differently. The world reacts to your decisions and so do your party members. They're not just blank ciphers to blindly follow in whatever you do. They'll make their opinions known up to the point of leaving or even attacking you. I've seen their stories play out in very different ways based on who was in my active party at the time of a key story event.

Video game stories are very hit or miss for me. With RPG's I'm usually there for the combat and systems as much as the story. Baldur's Gate 3's main story is engaging and kept me invested from start to finish. Every party companion felt like a fully fleshed out character who I wanted to learn more about and hear more from. Even some of the game's side plots were engaging - one involving a hag comes to front of mind. There's just so damn much DETAIL here, and none of it feels extraneous. The developers have clearly played a lot of Dungeons & Dragons, they know the sorts of things players want to do, and they made a game that says "Yes, actually you CAN do that" surprisingly often.

That freedom extends to the game's combat as well. You can throw objects, ignite pools of oil or alcohol, electrify water, push people off ledges, and on and on. My concern was that I'd get overwhelmed like I did with Larian's previous game Divinity Original Sin 2, but the combat threads the needle of being challenging without typically being overly long (spending an hour plus in combat only to lose and have to start over feels bad).

I can't close this review without mentioning that Larian did a great job replicating the act of rolling a die, a key component of tabletop games. The die clatters about and settles on its number in a satisfying way, and the excitement of a natural 20 on a long shot or the deflation of a crummy roll are intact here in this digital translation. The game handles luck streaks too - there's an option called Karmic Dice that you can toggle in the system menu, which prevents long runs of bad die rolls. After all, the dice add some welcome randomness but they should never play a huge role in determining how things play out.

The inspiration system is also wonderful - the game grants characters an "inspiration point" that can be spent on a reroll either in combat or in a skill check. These points are earned by essentially roleplaying your characters; smooth-talking Astarion will get inspiration points whenever you lie, persuade, or otherwise bullshit your way through a situation while no-nonsense bruiser Lae'zel is inspired whenever you mop the floor with foes in battle. The game is full of these thoughtful little touches.

The game writes a LOT of checks in the opening act, and somehow manages to cash them all. Choices you've made, people you've helped or hurt or ignored will come back around to you in the final act. Major events will play out wildly differently based on who is in your adventuring party. When it came down to the end, I made choices that felt right for the people in my party. It felt more like an ensemble cast rather than my character being the star of the show and everyone else supporting him. I'm writing this the morning after finishing the game, and I'm debating whether to reload my final save to see how other options play out. On one hand, I'm curious; on the other, it feels like the ending I got was my canonical ending, and playing tourist with it would feel dishonest.

As someone who hasn't seriously played D&D since 3rd edition (and not at all with the 5th edition ruleset used in Baldur's Gate 3) I'm not sure which elements are from the tabletop and which are unique to the video game. All I know is that, while no videogame can wholly replicate the experience of spending a Saturday afternoon at a table rolling dice, talking in bad accents, and poring over rulebooks and character sheets with friends, Baldur's Gate 3 does a better job than any game before it. *After Icewind Dale, Icewind Dale II, Planescape: Torment, and Baldur's Gate 2 **At least 15 minutes! ***I've since finished the game ****Figurative and otherwise

[tamurilofrivendell]

Heart of Stone | Chapter 14

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 Read on AO3

pairing: Thranduil x Tamuril (oc) storyline: Tamuril was in love with Haldir but the battle at Helms Deep took  away all hope she had for the future. She struggles with her grief and tensions eventually run high when she shares a moment with Lord Elrond she feels she cannot  come back from and flees Rivendell, hiding herself away in the Elvenking Thranduil’s Halls. chapter summary: Tamuril spends the last rest stop of their journey to Mirkwood in Thranduil’s tent.

"Your Majesty, I... it is not necessary... I would not wish to impose-” Tamuril stammered out as she spun around to face him.

“If it were an imposition.” Thranduil cut her off smoothly, raising a hand slightly as he blinked dispassionately back at her. “Then I would not have bothered to open my mouth.” He said simply, gaze lingering on her for a moment before he turned his attention to the space behind her, where Feren still stood. “Assist the lady, please.”

Then he was gone and Tamuril turned back to Feren, doing her best to keep how stunned she was off her face, doubting that she managed it. She could already imagine just how awkward it would be, dancing around the way she had spoken to Thranduil the night before. She had forgotten her place, she already knew this. This was not like when he would visit Rivendell and bestow some off handed remark upon her that she might find herself returning. He was to be her King now, after all, since she had practically forced herself upon his realm... and she needed to begin acting like it.

“I’ll help!” Nessa chimed in, smiling brightly between Feren and Tamuril. Feren offered Tamuril a mildly confused smile and gestured for her to follow as he made after Nessa. With a sigh, Tamuril forced one foot in front of the other and trailed behind them. She really didn’t think that this was a job for three but she didn't linger on it.

Thranduil’s tent was huge. Tamuril thought that it was larger than necessary but she didn’t say it out loud. She reminded herself that she needed to do better about holding her tongue. She was irritable of late, yes, but that was hardly the fault of any of those around her.

“I believe that is you all set, my lady.” Feren said, after helping set her bedroll out in the empty corner, smiling at her as if this were a most normal occurrence. Tamuril felt otherwise but she managed a little smile back at him, watching him take his leave. She kind of wanted to flee again, feeling like a lecture could be on its way to her this night.

Nessa gave her a sympathetic look, reaching out to take her hand briefly. “I’m sure he won’t even want to talk that much.” She said, aware somehow that Tamuril was worrying about disrespecting the King the previous night. “But... you know... if he does. Just...” She paused, looking at Tamuril as Tamuril stared back at her for a beat. “...be nice.”

With those parting words of wisdom, Nessa was gone, leaving Tamuril blinking after her. She gritted her teeth and turned around, surveying the tent. It was much bigger than all the others and she supposed that made sense but she thought it was a little over the top. In the uncomfortable silence that fell over her as she stood there alone, Tamuril crept around the tent, exploring. She was just reaching out to inspect something on a little table when a sudden voice made her jump.

“You know, it is impolite to go looking through other people’s belongings.”

Thranduil.

How did he keep sneaking up on her like that?!

Tamuril spun around on the spot, an embarrassed heat rushing to her cheeks. “I...” She trailed off as she met his eyes and lowered her gaze, having the good grace to look sheepish.

He moved past her, round the other side of the table, and poured himself some wine from the carafe that was set up for him.

Tamuril shuffled away, moving awkwardly over to where she was to sleep for that night, wondering if she would be able to switch off at all with the King’s presence so immediate.

“Would you like some?” Thranduil’s deep voice followed her and when she turned he was watching her intently, one hand gesturing to the wine on the table.

She hesitated for a second, gaze flickering between Thranduil and the table and then she decided that some liquid courage might actually help so she nodded and trailed back over to him. She intended to fetch it herself but Thranduil had already reached out to pour some for her.

“Thank you.” She managed, taking the offered drink from him. She raised it to her lips and had a sip, the drink warming her quite quickly.

“I, uh.” Tamuril started to speak again, as Thranduil moved back around the table and over to a chair near to his own sleeping area, sitting down and lounging gracefully in the seat. He didn’t speak, drinking his wine as he watched her with those intense eyes.

She did her best not to fidget as she continued, gripping the stem of the chalice in her hand like it was a lifeline. “I’m... I wanted to say sorry. About... last night. I...” She wanted to lower her gaze as his own was pinning her in place but she felt that would make her seem as if she didn’t actually mean the words she was speaking. “I should not have spoken to you like that.”

Another silence stretched between the both of them. Thranduil didn’t take his eyes from Tamuril’s, watching her squirm with an amusement that he kept well hidden. He made her suffer for a while more before he simply shrugged and set aside his goblet.

"It is forgiven.” He ignored Tamuril’s surprised expression as he waved a hand slightly, effectively ending the conversation.

His attention drifted elsewhere and Tamuril watched him for a second longer before she turned away, frowning softly, and padded over to where she was to sleep for the night. She couldn’t tell whether or not she felt better for it but at least she had said it. Yet another silence followed in which she gulped down the rest of the wine and set the empty cup to the side.

The two of them didn’t speak again and Tamuril eventually slipped into her bed and lay with her back to him, making herself as small and quiet as she could. She thought she felt eyes on her but she knew she was simply being paranoid so she did her best to just stay still and quiet, trying to drift off to sleep. She heard him move eventually, padding towards his own bed, where she heard some shuffling and then, once more, silence.

Tamuril was running through the grass surrounding Lórien, laughing wildly, fighting against her boots as they sunk beneath the proof of the previous nights blizzard. She could not walk atop the snow but the elf who was chasing her certainly could.

Haldir left barely a footprint behind him as he charged after her, his gentle laughter filling her with a happiness she couldn’t even describe.

Arms caught her round the waist and she squealed, both of their laughter mingling together as Haldir lifted her off the ground and swung her around.

Once he set her down again, she turned to look up at him.

He leaned in to kiss her.

Then the image twisted and changed.

Darkness had fallen and she felt like she was stuck in a swamp, she was moving her legs but she was getting nowhere. A light in the distance suddenly began to spread, lighting up snapshots of the battlefield ahead of her.

Haldir was falling.

There was blood everywhere.

She was screaming but she could not move.

He was too far away.

She could not reach him.

Haldir hit the ground.

He went stll.

“Tamuril...” His voice echoed around her, suffocating her, pulling her down into the depths of despair once more. His warm eyes, now dead and unseeing, swam across her vision.

A different voice suddenly cut through the chaos, trying to reach her. “Tamuril.”

She was still screaming.

“Tamuril.”

Blood. Snow.

“Tamuril!” The voice came again, louder and more demanding, pulling her back with a rush.

Her eyes flew open and she gasped for breath. Her dream bled away, melting back into reality. When she fully refocused, Tamuril found herself staring into intense blue eyes that were all too familiar by this point.

[madamebaggio]

Notes: Previously...

Admit it... You were all not expecting it this early, right?

Please, forgive any mistakes, It’s 2:30 am, I finished 3 chapters just now and I couldn’t wait to post... lol

Let me know your feelings!

***

Chapter 5

Oberyn had talked to Sansa, knowing it’d upset Willas.

Well, upset was too kind. Willas would be fucking furious with him.

Oberyn was a person that believed in honesty above all in relationships -no matter what kind of relationship. This had worked in his favor for many years now, especially after he matured.

He’d always disliked ‘conventional’ relationships, and the idea of possession some people had. Even when he was extremely in love, deeply connected to someone, he couldn’t feel this sense of ownership in any way.

He believed that this brought too many expectations, and most of them were unrealistic. Once Oberyn understood he wasn’t interested in monogamy, and that it didn’t mean he couldn’t actually love someone, he worked on being honest.

He never lied to any of his affairs. He was always honest about what he could offer and what he’d expect in return.

Ellaria was a blessing in his life, a partner like he’d never had before. He loved her like he hadn’t love anyone before, and she truly understood what he wanted and -better yet -what she wanted. Despite what people might think, the thing he loved the most about her, was that they could lay in bed and talk for hours, about everything and anything. They had no secrets between them.

In a way, his relationship with Willas had been similar. They’d discuss ideas together for hours, debate about the most ludicrous concepts, and -yes -spend hours doing other things.

The difference was that Willas was the monoganous sort of fellow. He enjoyed serious relationships. As long as he was single, he didn’t mind exploring things with Oberyn, but he was always looking for something else.

Oberyn hadn’t lied to Sansa: he did love Willas, but not like he loved Ellaria. Willas was a dear friend, someone he cherished deeply, but their relationship was one of friendship, not romance.

And it was exaclty because of that -because he loved Willas -that he was doing this.

Yes, his friend would be furious, but Oberyn could live with that. What he couldn’t live with was Willas believing he wasn’t enough.

He was scheming, and that wasn’t the nicest thing to do, but he knew -deep down -he was right. Willas needed this as much as Sansa did.

Besides, he had no intention of doing anything until there was a serious conversation about boundaries and consent. As much as he’d joked with Sansa about them convincing Willas, he didn’t plan on tying his friend to the bed.

“You did what?”

Oh yes… Willas was angry. “I offered Sansa our services as experient men.” He eyed the way his friend was gripping his cane. “Just so you know, if you plan on attacking me, I have zero compulsions about kicking your cane and running for the door.”

“For fuck’s sake, Oberyn!” Willas snapped. “This is not a joke! She is a girl!”

“She’s a woman, Willas. Stop pretending otherwise.” Oberyn threw back. “Yes, she’s younger than us, we do have more experience, but we aren’t taking advantage.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because Sansa will have time and space to think about it, for one.” He threw his hands up. “We won’t be love-bombing her into accepting us. She’ll have the same power to make choices. And as much as you want to keep pretending she’s a damsel in distress, she isn’t vulnerable. We aren’t taking advantage, because she isn’t in a vulnerable moment, where she shouldn’t be making choices.”

Willas pressed his lips together. “You had no right.”

“To do what exactly?” Oberyn demanded.

“Get me in the middle of this.” Willas hissed.

“Fine. I’ll tell her you’re out and that’s it.”

Willas narrowed his eyes. “What about you?”

“I’m still interested.”

“Oberyn!”

“She didn’t even say ‘yes’, Willas.” It was Oberyn’s turn to snap. “Stop acting like the world is ending. If you don’t want to do this, then don’t. But don’t make choices for me or Sansa.”

Willas did get up then, but it was so he could leave.

Oberyn felt this was a victory. He’d actually expected worse.

***

Sansa didn’t know what Oberyn had in his head, but she sure as hell had only one thing in hers.

After he offered her the chance of a lifetime, she could hardly think of anything else. She tought about it, then a bit more, then a bit more…

If her mind wasn’t busy with anything else, she’d automatically think of what Oberyn had suggested. But -if she were to be honest -very little of that thinking was practical.

She most spiralled into what-if scenarios that ranged from everything being perfect and cinematic from it being horrible and humiliating. She didn’t actually think about the practical parts of what Oberyn had suggested; she just spent her time jumping from scenario to scenario.

It was probably a reflection of how she saw herself, that most of those were bleak indeed. Most of the time, when she thought of what might happen if she were to say ‘yes’ to Oberyn, the imaginary results weren’t flaterring to her.

Sansa had imagined herself falling from the bed -for some reason -, being so boring that Willas and Oberyn forgot she was there, and -her personal favorite -being literally kicked out of the bedroom.

A part of her was refusing to consider this seriously. To do what Oberyn had suggested, and just think if that was something she wanted to do. In her mind, it was just a fantasy that wouldn’t ever come true. At no time she gave it serious consideration, or thought about it as a serious possibility.

Until almost two weeks later.

She’d gone out for dinner with her coworkers, and drank an extra glass of wine. By the time she got home she was giggly and light, but not exactly drunk.

Sansa fell on her bed and stared at the ceiling, and for the first time she decided to give the fantasy a real shot. Some other times, she’d think about Oberyn and Willas kissing and think she was being problematic in her own head. She could even fantize about it without feeling guilty.

Well, she was tispy and not feeling one bit guilty.

She shimmied out of her dress, until she was only in her underwear. She took a deep breath in, as if she was gathering her strength, but she already knew what she was going to do.

She caressed her neck, her chest, her belly and hips softly. She didn’t touch the obvious spots just then, because she wanted to do this slowly, tease herself. She ran her nails across her skin lightly, barely enough to mark.

Sansa closed her eyes and pictured Oberyn and Willas in front of her, wondering how they’d kiss her and each other. She had a feeling that Oberyn was the teasing kind, but what about Willas? Would he be gentle? Would he be demanding?

Maybe she’d been reading too many romances, but Sansa had the impression that Willas would be a firm lover. He just seemed so sure of himself, so calm when he spoke.

When she played with her nipples, that was the image she had in mind: Oberyn, teasing and laughing, Willas, serious and strict. She could almost hear their voices, telling her she was beautiful, that they could show her anything she wanted to see.

The hand that slid down her body wasn’t actually hers. No, in her head it was Willas’ hand finding its way inside her panties. Oberyn would be whispering dirty words by her ear, words she couldn’t exactly predict, but she was sure he could think of something.

It had been so long since Sansa had touched herself like this, and she was shocked to find herslef already wet. It normally took some playing before she could get to this point.

Sansa held onto her patience as she circled her clit. She didn’t want this to be just a quick release, she wanted more than an orgasm. She needed to play this out.

Behind her closed eyes it all took shape. Oberyn and Willas touching not only her, but each other. The words being said, the feeling it gave her to heart those things.

Speeding up her movements felt natural instead of just purposeful. When she slipped a finger inside herself -something she hardly ever bothered with when she was alone -Sansa gasped with the feeling.

Her body was shaking and covered in sweat by the time she brought herself to orgasm.

She couldn’t believe what she’d done, how she’d feel.

The next morning she started seriously considering Oberyn’s offer.

[walker-extended-universe]

No Means No, Chapter 6: Enter Sadie

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Full Series

Summary: Sadie wants to take things to the next level with their relationship. August isn't sure he can handle that.

Warnings/Tags: Mentions of Rape/Noncon, Flashbacks, Trauma, Making Out, Difficult Conversations, Protective Stella

Taglist: @theladywyn, @ihavepointysticks

-----

August and Sadie had been dating for a while now. Things were good. Really good. Better than he expected. He could scarcely believe it. He felt like he was living in a dream and he didn’t want to wake up.

Sadie was fun. She didn’t treat him like a kid or make a big deal that she was older than him. And she’s the first girlfriend he ever had that didn’t go running for the hills the second his family got to be “too much”. Ironically, Sadie was very stable. And he loved playing music with her.

There was just one small, tiny, itty bitty problem that would probably implode their relationship very soon.

August may not be the best at reading people but he could tell that Sadie wanted to take things to the next level physically between them. They hadn’t explicitly talked about it yet but her lingering gaze and how much more heard their makeout sessions were getting to be lately were getting the message across clear enough.

The problem with that was that he was utterly horrified of having sex with someone again.

It’s not that he didn’t trust Sadie. He just didn't trust himself. He wasn’t sure how he would react when they got that far. It was a testament to how far he’d come that he was willing to even kiss Sadie but who knew if he would be able to handle her taking his shirt off or touching his chest or his wrists- or even the main event itself.

“You should just talk to her,” Stella said for the umpteenth time. “I’m sure she’ll understand.”

“And what if she doesn’t?” August paced from one end of his room to the other. “What if she doesn’t believe me? Or she thinks I’m overreacting? Or-”

“Then I’ll kill her.”

August stopped his pacing and stared at her. “Stella, I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” She got off his bed and walked over to hug him. “I know you’re freaking out but it’s gonna be okay. Talk to her. She’ll either be understanding or she won’t. If she is, great. If she’s not, then she’s not worth your time anyway. And she’ll be dead.”

August returned the hug, leaning down and resting his cheek against the top of her head. “Please don’t get arrested for murder,” he muttered. “I need you here.”

Stella gave an exaggerated sigh. “Fine. But seriously, talk to her. It’ll work out.”

August sighed. “I hope so.”

“It will. Trust me.”

He did trust Stella. He just hoped he could trust Sadie. And himself.

—------

August really meant to bring it up with her. There just never seemed to be a good time. Whenever he and Sadie were together, he was happy and time seemed to fly by. He didn’t want to break that spell, as much as he knew he needed to.

Of course, that meant things came up in the worst way possible.

Sadie had initiated another makeout session while the movie they watched played in the background. That was safe enough. She pushed him so he was lying back on the cushions while she straddled him. That was…fine. He was fine. This was Sadie; he had nothing to worry about. 

Then her hands left his chest, traveled lower, and lower, until they reached the hem of his shirt. Then they went under, pushing his shirt up as her hands explored his skin.

It’s okay, he tried to tell himself. This is Sadie. She won’t hurt you. You want this. Everything is fine.

But it wasn’t fine. Because no matter how much he told himself he was safe with Sadie, his mind kept taking him back to that day, when he wasn’t safe with Ruby, and he just couldn’t.

“Stop. Please- Just stop.”

And she did. Sadie sat back on the couch and August opened his eyes to see her looking at him with a soft frown on her face. “Is everything okay? Was I going too fast? I’m sorry, I just- I thought we were on the same page here.”

August sighed and sat up. “I want to be on the same page. I really do. I’m just- It’s complicated.”

Sadie cautiously reached for his hand. “...Do you need to tell me something?”

“...Yeah.”

And he did. It was hard, but he told her everything. He told her about Ruby slipping him a roofie and taking advantage of him. He told her about Stella finding out and eventually telling his dad. He even told her about how things fell apart with Faye because she got tired of waiting on him. “And… that’s about it.” He held his breath, waiting for her response.

Sadie hugged him tight. “Thank you for telling me,” she said softly. “Don’t hide things like that from me, okay? I don’t want to hurt you.”

August leaned against her. “I won’t. Not anymore. You don’t keep secrets either, okay?”

“Of course not.” Sadie kissed his cheek. “Do you want to go back to watching the movie?”

“...Actually, do you mind if we call it a night? I’m kind of tired.”

“Not at all. I’ll just head home. Call me tomorrow?”

August smiled. “Yeah. For sure.”

[cjsinkythoughts]

The Shield

Paring: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 5595

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, John Walker, Emotions, Character Death, Mentions of Blood, I know people had a hard time with that last scene so please take caution because it is in this part! GIF at end is the ending scene, so be careful when you get towards the bottom! I feel like I’m forgetting some, so just know this one’s a bit more than the others.

A/N: Here it is, folks! The Part we’ve all been waiting for! It’s the longest one I’ve written so far but so much happened and I couldn’t find a better spot to end it than where the episode ended. Thank you all for being patient with me today. I know I didn’t get this out as quickly as I would’ve the past few weeks, but you guys are so awesome! Seriously! I love that you understand I do have a life and work comes first! Thank you, thank you!

This Part is a doozy, guys, and…I’m sorry? But not really. I’m SUPER excited to see where this is gonna go, especially considering Episode 5 is supposed to be the real tear jerker. I can’t believe there’s only two more episodes! I’ve grown so attached to these characters just in the past month! I’m so glad I’m able to share some of my thoughts and feelings with you guys, too! You’re honestly the best!

I’ll be doing more One Shots this week, so look for those on the Masterlist. I’m still taking requests for them, so if there’s anything you want explored about the reader and her relationships that you don’t think will be explored in this Series, just ask and I’ll try to add it to the One Shot list.

As always, this isn’t beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you for reading, be kind to yourself and others, enjoy this part and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

(I couldn’t decide on which GIF to use because there are so many good ones! Thank you Tumblr Creators!)

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

“Doll…hey. Doll. C’mon, sweetheart. We gotta get moving.”

You cracked your eyes open begrudgingly, squinting up to see Bucky’s amused grin, head tilted and eyes soft. “Huh?”

He chuckled as you rubbed your eyes, confusion lifting an eyebrow. “The funeral. Zemo said we’ve gotta go if we’re gonna make it in time.”

“Wait, but…huh?”

Sniggering again at your reaction, he held up your phone. “You passed out in the middle of a chapter, sleepyhead.” He teased lightly, grabbing your hand and gently pulling you to sit upright. “It’s almost been an hour.”

You huffed tiredly, stretching and placing your feet on the floor, taking back the phone he held out to you. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You haven’t been sleeping well.” He stated, like it should’ve been obvious. “How’s your arm feeling?”

“Better than earlier. It’s just sore. That’s all.”

He studied your features for any hint of a lie. Not finding one, he nodded, holding out his hand. “Okay. But tell me if it starts bothering you.”

You placed your hand in his, marveling for a split second at how big his hands were compared to yours - something you noticed every time but still it never ceased to astound you. He tugged you up, and you looked up to meet his worried eyes, remembering his question.

“I will, Buck. Promise.”

He nodded, tilting his head towards the door. “C’mon, cuddle bug. We don’t wanna miss this.”

A groan passed your lips, but you nodded and followed Bucky out into the main room, where Sam chuckled at you from his spot at the table. “Sleeping beauty has finally awoken.”

You flipped Sam off groggily. “Are we going or not?”

“Do you wanna wake up s’more first?”

“No.” You answered the one armed brunette. “I’ll just splash some water on my face or something. I’ll be fine by the time we get there. Where’s-”

“Looking for me?”

Zemo strolled out, now dressed in that coat of his, that smug smirk on his lips. You scowled. “I wish I wasn’t.”

Sam stood up, standing subconsciously between you and Zemo. “Let’s head out.”

You nodded in agreement, shooting the Baron one more glare, before following him out the door and into the city, Bucky right besides you, shoulders brushing as if you weren’t ignoring him just hours prior.

The walk was mostly silent, a few jests between Bucky and Sam plus a couple comments from Zemo here and there. You talked about strategy, with Sam bringing up the fact that he wanted to try convincing Karli to step down. Zemo didn’t look pleased with the arrangement, but both you and Bucky relented, agreeing to let Sam at least try.

It wasn’t until you were close to your destination according to Zemo that anything exciting happened.

“Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit!”

Hell. No. 

The moment the voice registered in your brain, your jaw tightened, your teeth starting to grind together as you held back the very not nice things you wanted to say. 

“Ah! How’d you find us now?” Bucky called out, tucking you into his side protectively, and a little possessively you noted, as Walker and Hoskins came down the steps, the two groups nearing each other.

You were relieved when the subject of Zemo escaping jail went by relatively quickly, Walker latching onto the fact that you were going to talk to Karli instead of focusing on the escaped fugitive in front of him.

You very nearly punched him when he ran in front of you after Sam told him the plan, making the four of you stop in your tracks, but Bucky’s arm tightened around your shoulders, holding you in place next to him.

“You’re gonna let him do this?” Walker questioned Bucky in disbelief, self righteous judgement practically dripping from your tone. “You’re gonna let your partner walk into a room with a super soldier alone?”

Bucky’s jaw ticked. “He’s dealt with worse. And he’s not my partner.”

“And you?” Walker narrowed his eyes towards you. “I expected more from you; the last original Avenger.”

You snorted, shaking your head. He obviously didn’t know how chaotic the Avengers were. What Sam was proposing? You’d seen it a million times with Steve alone. Not considering Nat, Clint, Thor, even Bruce and Tony. All of them willing to try to negotiate before running in, bullets raining and hell rising. “First, I’m not the last original. I’m technically not even an original. Second, I trust Sam with my life and I’m standing by his decision. He’s my brother. As a soldier, I would’ve thought you understood that.”

Before he could respond, Sam stepped around Bucky. You saw the reluctance in Walker’s eyes as he admitted a temporary defeat once Hoskins agreed with Sam. The fact that he was so unwilling to try to save more lives - including Karli’s - made the truth that he wasn’t, and would never, be your Captain harden deeper into your heart.

Ignoring Walker’s confusion as you followed the little girl Zemo befriended - which was weird, you’d admit, but it was getting you closer to Karli - Bucky’s arm slipped from your shoulders, hand sliding across your back and skimming down your arm to grip your hand. Even through your jacket, you felt goosebumps erupt along his fingers’ trail.

You finally came to your destination and you let out a small breath. If everything went smoothly, this mission could finally be over and you could go home and take a bath, get take out, get out a bottle of wine, watch TV, and just relax.

What a dream.

“Hey.” You stopped Sam before he could go through the entrance of where the girl said Karli was, holding his forearm. “You want me to come with you?”

He shook his head. “I think it’ll be better if I go alone.”

You nodded, letting go without any hesitance. “Okay. Be careful.”

“Always.” And despite all you’ve been through, no matter how many times he’s followed Steve’s lead in doing something stupid, you knew he meant it. You nodded again, before he disappeared around the corner.

You leaned back against the wall, Bucky once again wrapping an arm around your shoulder now that you weren’t walking - he liked having mobility on the move, hence the reason he held your hand instead - leaning besides you and pulling you against his chest.

Ten minutes. You tried looking at Bucky’s watch, which was on the wrist of the arm around you. He noticed and turned his wrist slightly, bending his elbow more, which brought you even closer to him, showing you the time.

Giving a small sigh, you nodded slightly and dropped your head back against his bicep, your hands shoving in your pockets, one of your feet coming up to rest against the wall. Bucky shifted to your other side so he could stand in front of the doors to where Karli and Sam were, pulling you against his back, arms wrapping around your shoulders tightly.

It was a long ten minutes. You kept eyeing Walker, and you couldn’t help the anger burning through you as he held the shield in his hands. That damn shield. It wasn’t his. It would never be his. And he would never understand it. The fact that the shield didn’t make Captain America. The shield isn’t what made Steve a good man. Not even the Serum did. He already was one. Steve made the shield what it was, not the other way around.

But then you remembered a conversation you had, years ago, and your eyes flitted up to Bucky’s hardened face, the brunette staring intensely at the ground.

~

You didn’t get it. You were confused. You knew how important Barnes - Bucky - was to Steve. But apparently you didn’t understand it quite yet.

You watched from the entrance of the hallway, leaning against the wall, as Bucky went under once more.

Steve stood there for a moment longer, before turning and walking towards you. “Why’d you do it?”

He raised an eyebrow at you while you turned to walk with him down the hall. “Do what?”

“Give up the shield. And don’t say it doesn’t belong to you. It does. Howard gave it to you. You’re the reason it’s…a symbol.”

He hummed. “And what exactly is it a symbol for, honey?”

You scoffed. “Uh, freedom? Justice? Resilience? The defense of the whole life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness thing?”

He stopped, facing you with a strange expression on his face, thoughtful. “I dropped it because I can’t be that anymore. Not right now. People don’t have the same beliefs they used to have. How can I stand up for freedom and let the Sokovia Accords track every person they deem a threat, just like HYDRA tried doing? How can I be a symbol for justice and let Bucky take the fall for something that he wasn’t in control of? I can’t. And until the world is ready to change…I can’t be Captain America.”

~

And suddenly, it seemed to click. Steve gave up the shield for Bucky because the world wasn’t ready to admit it was wrong. Just like Sam gave up the shield for himself and his family because the world wasn’t ready for the truth that would come with him becoming Captain America.

God…when did a metal circle become so complicated?

“What’s goin’ on in that pretty lil’ head’a yours?” His whisper in your ear startled you out of your thoughts, his nose brushing against your temple tenderly as he placed a chaste kiss on your cheek.

You looked up at him and shook your head. Of all the things Steve gave up, he never gave up Bucky. And it used to confuse you, but you understood then. His blue eyes sparkling with curiosity and slight concern, his fingers tracing patterns along your collarbone with a barely-there touch that was so light it didn’t seem to exist. You finally understood. Not just Steve’s decision, but Sam’s too. And maybe you didn’t understand it fully, and that was okay, because you weren’t them, so you never would, but you understood a little bit.

“Nothing.” You shook your head, keeping your voice down so the others couldn’t hear, the conversation being a private one, “I’m just waiting for this to be over.”

He hummed, nodding in agreement, setting his chin on your head. “Me too.”

Walker started pacing the room about half way through, getting too antsy for your liking. “Shhh.” Bucky mumbled under his breath, feeling you tense as Walker started talking. “It hasn’t been ten minutes, John. Just sit tight.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t patronize me.”

“He knows what he’s doing.” Bucky stated confidently, straightening slightly from his leaning position, arms falling from your form. The two of you exchanged glances as Walker checked the clock over on the far wall, blocked from your view.

“I’m going in.” Walker strode across the room, heading for the entrance, no doubt willing to steam roll anything - anyone - in his way.

Bucky stopped him with a hand on his chest. You glanced back and forth between the two as Walker spoke, arms crossed tightly over your chest. “Buck…we promised him ten minutes.” You reminded him, seeing his resolve crumble a bit. You could guess he was thinking of the nightmares. The people he couldn’t save. The blood he already considered on his hands.

Walker used his moment of hesitation, shoving past him roughly. “I’m not waiting.”

“John!”

“Walker!”

You followed after him, you and Bucky arguing with him and Hoskins about giving Sam more time, but it was too late.

“Karli Morgenthau! You’re under arrest!”

“Fuck.” You hissed out when you saw Sam’s panicked expression, looking at you confused. Walker was flown across the room when Karli punched him, Bucky shoving Hoskins out of the way to run after her.

“Y/N-”

You threw your hands up. “I tried, Sam! C’mon!”

You and Sam ran over to some stairs, turning corners and trying to remember what the building looked like from outside to cut her off, but you only ran into Bucky again. 

“I wish we had the layout or something.” You grumbled. “We were that close-”

“We’re not done yet, doll.” Nodding, you followed the boys out, Bucky pausing every so often to try to hear anything. “I’ve got gunshots.” At that, the three of you took off towards the sound, Bucky leading the way.

Just around the corner from where Bucky heard the gunshots, you thought you saw a couple people slip around another bend. Noticing you had stopped, Bucky backtracked. “You okay?’

“Yeah.” Deciding it wasn’t worth the pursuit, you turned to him and nodded towards the doorway Sam already went through. He gave you a look, but nodded and the two of you jogged into the room.

You sighed heavily, seeing Zemo knocked out on the floor, Walker standing over him and broken vials that were previously full of, what you assumed was, the Serum. Hoskins ran in right after you, meaning no one but Walker and Zemo knew what happened. Meaning you would probably never get the full, true story.

What fun it is to work with manipulators and liars.

********************

“I don’t like him.” Bucky grumbled, the two of you walking up to the place you were staying in, Bucky holding the door open for you.

“I know you don’t, Buck. I don’t either.” You had asked Bucky to go with you to get some fresh air once you got back, Zemo having woken up a few minutes after and Walker and Hoskins had to make a call or something official like the good soldiers they were. “He’s hiding something.”

“You think?” Bucky scoffed, giving you a look.

You rolled your eyes. “I mean…I don’t know. When we found him and Zemo…my gut twisted.”

He nodded in understanding, his face twisting into a scowl. “Yeah. Mine did too.”

You stopped him before you could walk through the door to the main room. “Do me a favor?” He nodded again with a little hum. Catching his chin between your fingers, your free hand moved to smooth out the creases between his brow. “Stop brooding so much. It makes me worried.”

His tongue darted out to wet his lips, features softening slightly. “Are you really gonna leave in the morning? I know you’ve had a lot of people telling you to take a break, and it’s selfish for me to ask you to stay, but…I dunno if I can finish this without you.”

“I-” You sighed, ducking your head as you thought of a response, before looking up in his wide eyes, begging for you to stick around longer. “Let’s just finish the day and see what happens next. Okay?”

He bit his lip, nodding slightly. You gave him a smile, before tugging on his hand. “I need a drink.”

He chuckled at that. “That I can fix, doll.” He, again, opened the door for you, and the two of you walked in.

“What a gentleman. Straight outta the 40’s.” You joked, making him roll his eyes.

He took off his jacket, heading to the kitchen, while you sat on the opposite side of the island. “Somethin’s not right about Walker.”

Sam gave you two an amused look. “You don’t say.”

“Well, I know a crazy when I see one.” He opened the lid of the bottle he grabbed, starting to pour two glasses of whiskey for the both of you. “Because I am crazy.”

You rolled your eyes as Sam responded, “can’t argue with that.”

“You shouldn’t have given him the shield.”

Giving Bucky a disapproving look over the rim of your glass, you sipped your drink, narrowing your eyes when he ignored you. “I didn’t give him the shield.”

“Well Steve definitely didn’t.”

Your glass slammed down on the counter. Why did he have to bring this up right now? Seriously? You were just having a nice conversation about places you wanted to visit while taking a walk outside. Why was he suddenly snapping?

Before you could scold him, the doors burst open, making your head whip over as Walker stormed in, “ordering” you to hand over Zemo.

You stayed sitting, leaning on the counter and facing the opposite wall as Sam told him off, giving an amused snicker as you sipped your drink. Bucky sat besides you, facing Walker, and you recognized from the angle he was positioning himself that he was blocking you from Walker’s view, whether intentional or not.

You raised an eyebrow, turning in interest when Walker put down the shield, knowing Sam wasn’t about to fight the man. What an ego the blonde had.

Before anything could happen, however, a spear pierced through the air, lodging in the pillar next to Walker’s head.

Your frustration with Bucky’s comment flew out of your head as Ayo and a few other Dora Milaje walked in. Bucky sat up straighter and you stood up, leaning ever so slightly against his arm.

You nearly facepalmed, a sound of complete disbelief leaving you as Walker introduced himself. Sam looked over at you two, an entertained, slightly incredulous smile on his face.

Sam tried warning him. He really did. But Walker, you’ve come to find, was an arrogant, egotistical narcissist who only wanted to win and would do whatever it takes to do so. Even when there wasn’t really a winner. At least, not in that situation. It seemed that Walker liked ignoring the gray area in the world, which wasn’t good. Not in the least.

Which is why you couldn’t really feel sorry for the man. You saw it coming as soon as he told them they didn’t have jurisdiction. And the moment he touched Ayo?

You put your chin on Bucky’s shoulder - who had stood up from his spot - watching the Dora Milaje kick Walker’s ass, wincing and cringing mockingly at the right moments, making Bucky smirk at you.

“We should do something.” Sam said, although he didn’t look thrilled about the prospect.

Bucky crossed his arms. “Looking strong, John!”

You gave a slight snort, not wanting to encourage anything, but unable to hold in your amusement. Bucky winked at you, clinking his cup of whiskey with your own, before taking a gulp.

“Bucky.” 

You huffed and stepped back at Sam’s tone. “C’mon, Buck.”

“Fine.” Bucky grunted. “But ‘M not happy about it.”

Soon, the three of you, plus Walker and Hoskins, were all occupied with a member of the Dora Milaje. You knew you couldn’t take them; they were on a higher level that Natasha, and you could barely beat her. But you weren’t necessarily trying to win.

It was a strange fight, knowing that no one - except Walker, probably - actually wanted to hurt anyone. Of course, that didn’t stop one of them from exploiting your injured shoulder that she spotted rather quickly. The hits were quick and precise, the tip of her spear cutting along the graze, hitting the spot just perfect enough to reopen it. The stitches that had been placed only a couple days ago ripped, making you wince and clutch your now bleeding shoulder.

“Oh fuck.” You groaned. “You were always good with those things.”

She gave you an almost apologetic look, before she looked over to Ayo, who stepped through the room towards the bathroom where Zemo had locked himself in during the chaos.

When you caught sight of the shoulder thing she did to Bucky, his metallic arm now laying on the floor, his eyes wide and his stance stunned, your jaw nearly dropped. You guessed it made sense that they had a way to do that, but, still. None of you were expecting it.

“Did you know they could do that?” Sam asked once they started leaving, Bucky picking up his arm and connecting it to his shoulder.

“No.” The arm whirred as he swung it, getting it back to normal.

You couldn’t help the little giggle that left you, making Bucky raise an eyebrow at you. You tried holding in more laughs, but they just kept coming. “She-she...she disarmed you!”

Bucky rolled his eyes as you chortled, holding your stomach and bending over. “Ha ha. Very funny.”

“Oh come on!” You straightened and wiped your eyes. “That was good! Wasn’t it, Sammy?”

Sammy chuckled and nodded. “I’ll admit, it was pretty good. This, however, is not.”

Your laughter died as Sam made his way over to the bathroom, the light air that came with your cackles dissipating as quickly as it came.

“I can’t believe he pulled an El Chapo.”

You stared at the drain that was uncovered - large enough for Zemo to slip inside and escape. He did it. The son of a bitch finally did it. It took him long enough. You would’ve betted against him days ago.

“I can.” Bucky turned and grabbed your hand. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

*********************

“I thought you told them.”

Bucky looked up from wrapping your shoulder, an eyebrow raised. “What?”

“I thought you told them. The Dora Milaje. Wakanda. T’Challa. I thought you told them about Zemo.”

He leaned back with a sigh. “It was kinda a last minute decision. You know that. You were there.”

You nodded. “I do. But I also know what they’ve done for you. Shuri and Ayo. I was there for that, too. And you know what he did to them. To their country. Their king.”

“I know, I know. I almost died several times because of it.”

Your eyebrows pinched in confusion. “So why-”

“I thought it’d be quick. I thought, maybe, I could do it without them finding out and then we could get to Karli and they wouldn’t be disappointed. Win win.”

Your cheek caught between your teeth as you thought. “You could’ve just asked-”

He shook his head. “They would’ve said no. You know that.”

“Okay. Fine. Yes. I know that. But…but giving them a warning would’ve been better than this.” He hung his head, closing his eyes. “Bucky. Hey,” hooking a finger under his chin, you tilted his head back up to look at you. “I know it’s been hard for you. Everything has. And I’m sorry I dragged you into this. I shouldn’t have let you come along. You should be healing, and it’s my fault you’re not.” He opened his mouth, face scrunching up in disagreement, but you shook your head. “It’s true. I just…I didn’t know it would come this far.” You gnawed on your bottom lip studying those captivating eyes, before sighing. “Which is why I’m not leaving.”

He perked up, those pretty eyes going wide, jaw slackening. “You-you’re not?!”

You shook your head. As much as you wanted to run away, you couldn’t. It wouldn’t be right. “It wouldn’t be fair to you or Sam. I promised to help, and I brought you into it. So I’m gonna stay.

“Are you, uh…are you sure? You don’t hafta if you don’t wanna, doll. I know I kinda pushed you earlier, but-”

“I’m sure Buck.” You nodded firmly. “Just…do something for me?”

“I dunno if I can promise not brooding, sweetheart.”

You giggled at his words. “Not that. Just…stop giving Sam a hard time. About the shield. Please.”

His soft features hardened and he scowled. “If he didn’t give it up-”

“He thought it was going to the museum. I told you about that, remember? I told you we’d go when I got back.”

Giving a slight nod, he sighed. “We never did.”

“We will. But, I’m serious, Buck. Please. It’s not his fault. He did exactly what Steve did.” At Bucky’s confused look, you pursed your lips, looking down at his hands, starting to play with his fingers. “Remember how I was thinking during those ten minutes we had?” He nodded. “I was thinking about how Steve gave the shield back to Tony. After saving you. In Siberia. You remember that?” Another nod was given, so you continued. “It was for you, James. Because you made him realize that he didn’t want to be the face of a country that preached one thing, but did another. And that’s what Sam did. He did it for his family. For himself. Because no one wants to fight for a country that goes against your personal beliefs, no matter what they say.”

“I-I don’t understand.” Bucky’s eyes squinted, his brow creasing as he tried processing what you were telling him.

“That’s okay. Not everyone will. Really only they can understand their own reasoning. But you have to try to understand that he did what he thought was best for himself. For Steve. For the shield. And I know - dammit do I know - that it’s the last thing left of him. But it is just metal. Isn’t it? Steve’s the reason it is what it is. No one else. And no one is going to change that.”

Bucky took a breath, glossy, worried eyes meeting yours. “Walker’s going to ruin it. I know he is. I can feel it. Everything Steve worked for. I don’t care about Captain America. I care about the kid from Brooklyn who wanted to make a difference, no matter how little he was. I trusted him. I followed him through bullets and blood, with only that shield between us and them. He was home on a battlefield in Italy across the ocean from New York. And that shield was the welcome mat. It doesn’t matter what it says, what it looks like…but it protected my home when I couldn’t. But now? I feel like it’s tearing my home down. Pulling out the bricks. And it hurts. It was never about the shield, Y/N. It was always about the man it protected when I couldn’t be there for him. And now?”

Gathering him in your arms as he trailed off, you gave a couple little sniffles, pressing your face in his hair, nails scratching the nape of his neck lightly. “I’ll be your welcome mat, Buckaroo.” You offered.

He shook his head, pulling away to hold your face between his hands. “No, sweetheart. You’re not the welcome mat. You’re the new bricks replacing the old. You’re…you’re my home, now, doll.”

You swallowed thickly, unable to handle the rush of emotions that just poured through you, the sudden change in topic making you feel more vulnerable than you’d like. You leaned forwards, placing a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth, feeling him go lax in your arms. “And you’re mine.” You murmured softly, before getting up and heading out for the room, unable to stay any longer. You still had a mission to do. One that became even more desperate with Zemo loose, Walker unhinged, and Karli being so close.

******************

There was a silent agreement to not bring up your conversation. Not yet, at least. Sam had eyed you both when you came out of the room, saying you were ready to get moving, but he didn’t say anything either.

None of you really knew where you were going, only what you had to do. Find Zemo and get to Karli before Walker could. Both of which were a lot easier said than done.

Until Sam got a call from Sarah, who told him Karli contacted her personally and threatened her and her sons. She left a contact number for Sam, evidently wanting to meet. His phone dinged not a minute after he texted the number.

“She said come alone.”

“Well that’s not happening.” You opposed, crossing your arms.

Bucky nodded with your sentence. “We’re coming with you.”

Sam didn’t say anything against it, the three of you exchanging glances, before heading out to the location, changing into your tactical suits along the way.

Karli didn’t seem to mind you and Bucky tagging along, and you understood why the moment she mentioned not killing Sam because he wasn’t hiding behind a shield. It was a distraction. They were going after Walker.

It was confirmed only moments later when Sharon contacted Sam. “Looks like he found them, or maybe they found him.”

As soon as Sam announced that it was Walker, you jumped into action, Sam disabling Karli for just the right amount of time for you to get a head start. “I’ll send you the location. Go.” He told Bucky, who nodded and took off in his super soldier sprint. “You hitching a ride?”

You rolled your eyes at his slight tease. “I hate this so much.” You grumbled, catching his hand as he took off in the air with his bird costume. He held onto you tightly, like the millions of times you’d done this before, although it didn’t make you any less dizzy, traveling that fast, that high, with only his hold keeping you from dropping. “You’re lucky I trust you so much!”

He gave a small chuckle at your shout over the wind. “We’re landing! Brace yourself!” You followed his order, just in time for him to break through the glass ceiling of the building Walker was in. The both of you landed on a platform on the staircase just as a Flag Smasher was thrown through double glass doors, down the stairs, and into a power box. Your eyes went wide as Walker strolled down the steps, oozing a confidence that made you nervous. The moment Walker stopped the Flag Smasher - the Super Soldier - from hitting him with the pipe, you knew even before he twisted it like a pretzel.

“Sam.” You breathed out. You couldn’t even do anything, only watching as the Flag Smasher got up from being thrown again, and running down a hall.

“What’d you do?”

“They got Lemar.” Was the only reply he gave, brushing past you and Sam. You gave Sam a look, but he just jerked his head down the hall, in the direction the Flag Smasher went and the way Walker started heading. You nodded, willing to drop it for now to save someone’s life, but you were so bringing it up once this was done.

Jogging into the room, you should’ve expected the ambush in the room, but, to be honest, they didn’t take as much advantage as they could’ve, so it wasn’t too difficult of a fight. You had trained with Steve millions of times before, so you knew how to go against a Super Soldier. Granted, your Cap wasn’t trying to kill you while training, but it was better than nothing.

You protected your shoulder, knowing that was your weak point, while trying to disguise it so whoever you were fighting wouldn’t realize your Achilles’ Heel. Something you often found while dealing with Steve, and even Bucky, was that Super Soldiers, as quick as they were, tended to favor the super strength side of their enhancements. This made it easier for you to dodge the attacks, knowing most of your blows wouldn’t do much.

Knowing you wouldn’t be able to stay on the defensive for long, you decided to try to get an advantage over them. Disarming them and taking their knife was easy enough. A small advantage, yeah, but now you had a weapon, and you could work with that.

You weren’t exactly sure when Bucky joined the fight, but he did, immediately coming over to you when you body kicked your opponent, helping you up. “That was a Steve move.” Your eyes caught sight of the Flag Smasher behind him and you shoved his shoulder down, throwing your knife, making it land solidly in the man’s shoulder. Bucky looked up at you from his crouch, impressed. “And that was a me move.”

You shrugged. “I’m a visual learner.”

You, Sam, and Bucky were about to go for another round with the guys when a sickening crack sounded behind you, and you whipped around. 

Hoskins was against a split pillar, a crimson streak running down his forehead, head lolling to the side, lips red and cracked. The fight stopped as Walker rushed over to his friend, but you knew there was no way he survived. A punch from a Super Soldier? That hard?

Eyeing the Flag Smashers, you turned to Sam and Bucky when they started dispersing, Karli running out as well. They nodded towards you and the three of you took off after her, not wanting to let her get away again and, for you, at least, wanting to give Walker some time.

You weren’t expecting his grief to turn into such raw hatred. 

Running up to the city square, you didn’t actually see it happen. Just the aftermath. Which was good, considering you nearly threw up just seeing that.

You heard the change in Bucky’s breathing, barely recognizing the way he stepped in front of you, only realizing you stepped closer when you felt his sleeve against your palms, fingers tightly wrapped around his forearm. A choked sound came from somewhere, but you didn’t know it was you, even as Bucky reached his arm around to hold your waist, keeping you behind his shoulder. 

Tears leaked down your face silently, eyes unable to look away as Walker straightened, sliding the shield on his arm, too nonchalantly for someone who just murdered another in front of a crowd full of people, cameras pointed towards him.

The shield. That piece of metal you had been wondering so deeply about the past couple of weeks. The link to the first person you’d ever loved. Ruined. Tarnished. Stained.

You could barely breathe, your throat clenching so tightly it was a wonder you were able to get anything out at all.

“James…”

[yuukei-yikes]

Is kagepro an anime? I wanna get into the series but I don’t know where to start (and honestly all i know about it is the stuff that you post, shout out to that white hair malewife and black hair girlboss you always post about)

GOD OK UM SO kagepro is really one of those things that are. just messy.

this is my pinned, so i’m putting it under read more!

What is kagerou project, should i get into it, how do i get into it?........... let me tell you about it!

originally? it started as vocaloid series, as in a story told thrusongs, then it had a manga adaptation, anime and novels. they all vary a lil bit with consistency tho tell the same story. and that is because… each media represents a “route” the characters go through. yep. it’s a “time reset” kinda story! kagepro its what i like to call a clump story. just a bunch of stories put together. u take longer delving into each character's backstory rather than the actual main plot ig?? like, knowing everyone's backgrounds Builds the present story. it is difficult to explain 1 thing without explaining another and so on..

if you want to start somewhere I recommend listening to the songs in order, many have very cool music videos also the songs are VERY VERY GOOD.

the manga i recommend up until volume 4 chapter 18. after that it gets TOO confusing because it goes into a route thats only explored in this adaptation, while its kinda important if u REALLY wanna jump into the world of kagepro, it is VERY VERY confusing at first, like a LOT happens and differs significantly from the regular routes(and as an old fan i really was not into it that much but that’s aside the point) but the manga in the first 4 volumes at least puts the beginning more in perspective

and only then id recommend watching the anime cuz without all this the anime is VERY confusing lol the novels are good but theyre wholeass BOOKS yknow. there are 8 so it is not beginner friendly if u rly dont wanna tap into it lol even some seasoned fans haven't read them. that’s my casual kagepro fan guide. but.....

but if in the end u rly become interested and u end up reading them... hey, ur here already, and i know i told u not to finish the manga but if u just read 8 light novels i guess ur ok with reading 9 more volumes of manga!!!! and then... i’d watch the anime? because the anime, believe it or not, as shitty and as ugly as it is... possesses the GOOD ending. and bc u read 8 novels, 13 manga volumes and listened to like 5 song albums, u can watch and actually know what’s going on and u are very happy at the end bc after ALL THAT u get to see the good ending.

BY THE WAY AS FOR THE PLOT... as i said, a clump story. kagerou project isn't only difficult to understand when it comes to all its different medias, the story ITSELF is as convoluted as it comes! hurray! but the basics is, shintaro kisaragi is a shut in ever since his hs best friend ayano tateyama committed suicide. he goes out for the first time in 2 years and runs into some funny quirky people who might've been involved in ayano's life, who in return was involved in fun quirky sci-fi shit about..wow? superpowers?! maybe her suicide wasnt driven by depression but by....(SPOILER CUT)? or was it? join shintaros man angst as he learns about everything ayano left behind! you'll cry! its a REALLY sad story! with lovely characters such as:

kido kano and seto! ayano's little siblings! kido is the leader. of what? good question! kano is gay and hates shintaros guts. seto? he has jobs and better things to do. he likes dogs.

momo! shintaros little sister! she is.. a famous idol?! and... DEPRESSED?!

mary! token cute character who is...relevant to the plot!? and even...A PLOT POINT!?!

hibiya! a 12 year old who ended up here for some reason! also equally as important depending on the route, his best friend hiyori! dont worry about it. 

konoha! we dont know who this guy is. well. we do. but thats a spoiler so dont tell!!!!

and of course our lovely deuteragonist, ene!! the funny little AI living in shintaros phone who TOTALLY didnt use to be human and has a sob story of her own and totally isnt related to the mystery of konohas existence. kagepro!! call now!! ITS AWFUL IN HERE!

[quicksilverownsmysoul]

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This pt.7

Dark! Peter Maximoff x fem reader (Mob AU)

So Sweet Dreams was on break for a week but now it’s back!!! And it should continue on schedule unless workload gets heavy or ya know mental health just decides to act up. But I hope y’all like this chapter it’s full of angst and will set us up nicely for the next few chapters!!!

Summary: Peter has felt like a piece of him has been missing ever since he was taken away from his mother to be raised by his father. But when you seem to fill that piece there’s no way he’s ever letting you go

Warnings: angst, mentions of kidnapping

Word count: 1687 (it’s short y’all but it’s something)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

You stared at Peter in shock, still not quite believing what had just happened. “Peter.” You called, shaking him softly with your free hand. “Peter.” There was no answer other than his soft breathing and the whistling of the wind outside of the window. 

 You slipped your hand out of his pants, wiping the excess of his release on his thigh, hoping he wouldn’t mind too much. His soft snores and steady breathing seemed to confirm that. You had never seen Peter in such a calm state before. You gently brushed his bangs from his eyes, letting your fingers linger on the curve of his cheek, and tracing the bridge of his nose. 

You finally got the chance to look at him up close without the fear of looking him in the eyes for too long.  You took note of the faint trace of freckles that decorated his skin, and the mole on the tip of his nose. You had to fight the urge to lean down and kiss it, still lost in your own delusion of what had just occurred between you and Peter. 

You traced the bags under his eyes, letting his long lashes tickle your skin. A part of you wanted to stay here for a while, you were quite tired yourself from waking up so early. It wasn't hard to imagine how peaceful it would be to spend the day here, comforted by the warmth of each other with the soft chill from the window. On a plus side you would get to sleep the day away with Peter, so as long as he didnt wake up there would be no more lucrative requests or uncomfortable conversations. Just peaceful slumber until dinner and then after bed the day would be yours again.

 But you knew better than to indulge in that. You could be using this opportunity to explore the house, or to possibly escape. Erik has said that he wasn’t around the house during the day, meaning that the house should be as empty as it was the last time you were alone with Scott and his son. Sure, there was the risk of Peter waking up to find you gone but if you were quick you should be able to make it back. 

You moved to sit up but found that something was holding you in your place. Your expression softened as you noticed Peter's fingers tangled tight onto your clothes, as if begging you to stay with him even in his sleep. He had one hand on the collar of your shirt, and the other on your back. You carefully uncurled his fingers and laid them to rest tucked into him. 

You had to be quiet and quick as you lifted yourself up and over him. You paused as he made a small noise, thinking he had woken up but you relaxed as he just scooted closer towards the window to lay on the pillow you had left behind. You figured it was best to fix Peter’s appearance in case anybody happened to find him. You lifted his pants back up and tucked his undershirt back in place.

But you left the zipper undone, figuring no one would see and so he wouldn't be uncomfortable. If this was under normal circumstances, you would have taken a wet rag and cleaned him as you whispered sweet praises. You hoped that he would be alright as you left him, opening the door and slipping out. 

You looked around not quite sure where you were, you had never gone this far into the mansion before. Peter had led you here blindly, so you had no idea where to go or how to get back to your room. To the right was a long, never- ending hallway, each door unlabeled and unknown. To your left there was a light, you wondered if it was the large window where you had met Scott the first time. Your wondering was proven wrong as you noticed the railing in front of you. You took steps forward towards it to see that you were higher up than you had ever been. You leaned over the edge, figuring you were about four or five floors off of the floor.

You let yourself fall back on your heels, away from the railing, thinking over your options. You could wander the house on this floor and then hurry back before Peter woke up. Or you could try your luck at attempting to find a way back to your room and possibly back to the floor where Scott resided. You cracked open the door to the library, peeking inside. Peter was still curled on his side snoring softly. You could look around; it didn't seem that he would be waking up anytime soon. 

You decided to go to the right, wandering down the endless hall as you took in the paintings that lined the walls and the creepy marble busts of Erik and his “family” whose eyes seemed to follow you. You walked until you were forced to come to a stop, the hallway seemed to end, a painting of a windy forest perched strangely on the middle of the wall. The wallpaper was worn around it, cracking and peeling down the sides. There was also remnant of a deep rust color staining the frame. You thought it was strange where it was placed, and how the frame seemed to jut it out from the wall.

You looked up and noticed a small semi-circle window above the picture. It was blurry to look through it but as you squinted to make it out you saw that it was a forest almost identical to the one in the painting. The same eerie trees and worn pathway leading from the house into the unknown.

Your brow furrowed as you slowly connected the dots, noticing the faint traces of muddy footprints on the carpet leading back the way you came and the cold breeze that seemed to hit you in the middle. You moved back to the painting, hands feeling the slides, you paused your movements as you came across a slight jutting section. You pressed on it and the painting clicked, you jumped back as it swung open with an unnerving squeak. 

You leaned down to peer through the opening, a gust of wind blowing your hair back, you could smell the rain in the air and hear the roaring wind. You could see the clouds blocking out the sun and the horizon that seemed to run on forever. You took a moment to bask in the feeling of the outdoors, to breathe in the scent and imprint it on your memory. It hadn't been that long since you had been outside but being trapped here had made it feel like an eternity.

And now you were on your own and free to just go without anyone knowing. You leaned down to enter the small opening but reeled back. It couldn’t be that easy could it? Was freedom really so close that all you had to do was follow the sounds of the outside world to leave this hellish manor. 

There was no one here stopping you, there were no sirens giving away your exit. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, this was your chance. You crawled into the open space, legs first as you shimmed yourself over the ledge. You looked down to see nothing there. Your heart stopped as you thought this was all for not, until you leaned over and saw that some of the bricks weren’t even with the building. There was an invisible ladder built into the wall. 

You turned yourself on your belly and let your feet find their place on the first set of steps. It was a long, scary process of scaling down the building, thinking that you found your footing only to slip and claw desperately trying to find a new holding. But you had made it to the bottom, knees scratched and hands calloused, but you made it. Jumping the last few feet and tumbling onto the grass below you. 

You had the wind knocked out of you as you fell, gasping for air for a moment but as soon as you got your breath back you let out a laugh. It was a deep laugh, full of soul and crazed relief. You scrambled to your feet and took off towards the wood, smiling to yourself as the wind blew through your hair. Freedom was so close you could taste it, you thought there was nothing that could stop you. But that’s when you heard it, a dull banging. You didn't want to stop, but it was if something compelled you to do so. You slowed to a jog and eventually stopped turning back towards the house. 

And that’s where you saw him. At the very top of the house in the library you had left behind. Peter was at the window, banging on the glass in a rhythmic manner, as if he was trying to get your attention. You watched as it shifted from innocence to one of utter madness and despair as he realized that you weren’t coming back. Peter began banging madly on the glass. His face was twisted into one of pain, he was screaming. You could hear the calling of your name all the way out here. Both hands were beating on the window, as he called your name, betrayed that you had left him behind and that you were leaving him now. His sobs were breaking your heart as he finally smashed through the glass, hands bloodied as shards lodged themselves in his palms and knuckles. “COME BACK!” He screamed, nearly falling out the window, as if he was trying to reach you from there. “PLEASE!” His hair was whipping the wind as clung to the broken frame. “DON’T LEAVE ME!”

‘I’m sorry!’ You cried out, tears of your own forming in sympathy. “I’M SORRY!” 

Peter watched as you took steps back, beginning your escape again. You watched as he paused his screaming, tears still rolling down his rosy cheeks. His face switched as it had done before and you knew he was getting ready to come for you. You turned on your heel and ran, praying that you would somehow make it out before he caught you. Because if he caught you, you knew you would never be able to leave.

Taglist: @joshdunstoothbrush75 @enemy-of-wonkru @coffeeandteaintheevening @livingmybestfictionallife @amourtentiaa @madison05x @rottenstyx @shlutnutt @raincoffeeandfandoms @ietss @cursedandromedablack @castielsguardianangel22 @nightlockcornucopia @mossybank @usuck @tatesimper @xlucyintheskywithdiamondsx @darlingevanpeters @whyisaah @derangedcupcake @hollandlover19 @urfavtemptress

[itsatoyboat]

i finished true colors and i’m having a lot of thoughts that i NEED to talk about.

(if this is gonna be long idk, i apologize for your eyeballs)

1. i honestly didn’t like alex at all when i saw the trailer, i was thinking “hmm idk about this one” but as soon as i started to play the game i fell so in love with her, she is so freaking smart and funny, she genuinely cares about the people around her and her story it’s very different from the other characters from LIS anthology. i truly enjoyed seeing alex’s development throughout the game especially her realizing that her powers can actually help the people around her and not harm anyone, the way she controls it after her conversation with gabe was such an awesome upgrade from the alex who was so ashamed of her power to alex superwoman. i liked how the game explored her emotions and her mind about the past, the mine part where alex was struggling to feel everything she felt in those days and then embracing everything was one of my favorite parts. it shows a lot of growth.

2. this game has AMAZING CHARACTERS, every single one of the characters was well written, they had life, they had problems, they had their own emotions with private stuff that was going on in their lives and you could actually talk to them and meet their “layers”. mac for an example was an asshole but i couldn’t pretend i didn’t felt his concern and fear around typhon, the way he was terrified about everyone hating him, he was scared for his life and being very paranoid, i was concerned about him and the game giving you the choice to speak to him or leaving him was a tricking decision cause you could leave him alone suffering or try to help him out, maybe saving his life and this is a lot but he’s alive. the game makes him real and that’s what makes me INSANE about the characters. i know, i’m talking about a game where you’re supposed to feel the characters’ feelings but that could possibly go wrong as well if the characters were shallow and poorly explored and that’s not the case with true colors. they had purpose.

3. alex’s power it’s probably my favorite power. the choices in this game was way harder than the first two games, the craziest thing is you can choose if you want to take someone else’s feeling so they can stop feeling that way, saving them from themselves making alex suffer instead and that's selfish. don’t get me wrong, i’m not calling alex a selfish person but taking someone else’s feeling doesn’t make anything better, you’re taking their right to heal, to be alive and that is so fucking awesome. you have this power to help someone, to “take their pain away” and you will learn that people need to feel what they are supposed to feel so they can move forward cause if we don’t, we are never going to learn. we see that charlotte is pretty angry about gabe’s death, she blames everyone but mostly ethan, she is miserable. alex can choose between taking charlotte’s anger or leave her. if alex takes charlotte’s anger, charlotte is left completely empty, she doesn’t feel anything and when i say anything it’s anything. she is left emotionless and bitter, she doesn’t pass through her way of mourning for gabe and she doesn’t have alex’s back when alex confronts jed. if alex leave charlotte to her anger we have a nice moment between them on the festival, talking about what happened and charlotte gets alex’s back on the black lantern and that’s what i mean from being selfish, if we take someone else’s feelings we are being unfair to them, we are choosing for them and people are supposed to feel, heal in their own time or overcome. by taking charlotte’s anger we deprived her from healing, we are not helping her, we are just making an natural process even more difficult and slower. alex being able to hear what someone is thinking and enter that person’s world from what they are feeling at that moment it’s the best detail for me, everything changes, we get to see the world through that person’s eyes, we can understand them but we decide what to do with that, we can be selfish or actually help. of course, we can take pike’s situation for an example also, if we take his fear we can help him overcome typhon and we get to expose jed but pike’s fear was necessary to take and charlotte was not necessary, pike at least had the pendrive with the recorded calls on it so we had a chance for things to get better.

4. chapter 5 was an amazing ending. finding out the truth about typhon, jed was never a hero, alex confronting her past, the confrontation and seeing who was going to be on your side, alex’s final conversation with gabe and the end, it was better than i thought it could be. i truly loved seeing alex’s past, even with everything that went down she turned to be a good person who wanted to be loved (her passion for music being the thing that helped her connected to me in a lot of levels, that creep cover though i screamed so hard when she started to sing). the mine part was absolutely insane not just alex surviving that fall discovering that gabe was looking for his dad for so long, jed knowing it and all of this time his dad actually died because of jed, alex finding the truth by taking her mom’s necklace back from what was left of that accident it’s so heartbreaking, the confrontation was crazy, i thought no one was going to believe alex because jed was so loved by everyone there it would be so easy to doubt alex and just be on jed’s side which was what ryan did but it’s understandable, jed was his dad, his hero. alex’s speech on jed exposing him after everything was one of the best monologues on that game and man this game had AMAZING dialogues and monologues, everything felt so real and beautiful, the best part of it it’s to forgive jed that’s where alex break him, he regrets everything even more cause when we find out the truth. we find out why jed never enjoyed talking about being the hero of haven springs. at the end jed wasn’t entirely a bad person cause when we forgive him he gives back alex her dad’s jacket talking about how he wanted to give it to gabe but couldn’t, that’s something that made me love even more the characters even jed that was the “villain”, which i don’t think he is. what he did was terrible and he knew that, he tried to pretend nothing happened when alex started to talk but at the end he broke, that always haunted him and that’s the difference between him and jefferson who was actually the villain in life is strange he wasn’t forced to do those things, he killed rachel, he killed chloe, he manipulated nathan, he was going to kill max and if max didn't stopped him on the arcadia bay ending he would kill even more students at blackwell.

5. alex and steph relationship was the purest thing on this game, it was smooth, it was organic, it wasn’t something out of the blue, steph liked alex since the beginning. the plan to pick someone to flirt with diane and get her pendrive i chose ryan and afterwards steph started to feel something, she was so upset that alex used to think ryan was “hotter than her” (i only chose ryan cause i didn’t want to see steph flirting with diane but i saw the scene where we pick steph and omg i should’ve chosen steph cause that scene it’s hilarious), steph was happier around alex, every time she had an opportunity to flirt with alex she took it. seeing their love grow through the chapters was beautiful, i know we can choose ryan over steph but i don’t believe ryan liked alex the way steph did, you can literally see that no matter what alex did steph was going to support her and look at her with so much love and respect and that’s why i think alex and steph’s relationship it’s so pure and right. also they looked so good playing together it’s so cute that they have the same passion for music and THAT LARP SCENE FOR GOD’S SAKE MY HEART MELTED!

6. this part is exclusively to talk about LARP and the fight scenes, it reminded me so much of final fantasy it was so COOL, well thought and so fun. it was awesome to see everyone taking care of ethan and doing their best to make him happy.

7. talking about ethan, this game opened a conversation in my head about charlotte and ethan, i started to think a lot about what charlotte said about ethan how she felt happier when gabe was around and now she was stuck with only ethan again, it made me think that maybe charlotte didn’t want to have a child or if she didn’t had ethan she could have gabe again. that could open a conversation about women who didn’t want to become a mom but it doesn’t mean that charlotte would hurt ethan which makes total sense to decide to leave her alone and not take her anger, she would never hurt ethan. it was again another tricking decision cause we get concerned about ethan when charlotte starts to talk but we know deep down she cares so much about her son, she does everything for him.

life is strange true colors became my favorite life is strange, the story it’s different and great, it’s literally finding the truth about everything, when we understand people’s feelings we discover the truth about them and situations, we understand everything. this game actually made me cry harder and think so much even more than the first one and boy i love the first one so badly. it talks a lot about empathy and how we react to people’s emotions, your choices in this game are way harder than messing with time or moving things with your mind, it’s choices about things that could happen in real life eventually and that is what makes this game so important to me, it’s real.

and also it's the first life is strange to have happy endings like.. ok big steps for my non depression finally