#the cardboard stegosaurus

[je-lurk]

It’s time for another sfth fact check! This time concerning the Cardboard Stegosaurus.

Pierre has blocked the Eurotunnel with two blocks of granite.

Some facts about granite:

Granite has a hardness from 6 to 8 on the Mohs scale (depending on the source). It’s very resistant but far from unbreakable (diamond is at 10 on the scale).

Granite’s density apparently varies between 2,63 and 2,75. For the calculations we’ll use 2,7 meaning granite weighs 2700 kilograms by cubic meter.

Some facts about the Eurotunnel:

The Eurotunnel is 50 km long, with a 38 km section under the sea. For those who don’t know this is a train tunnel. It’s actually two tunnels, each with one train track.

The tunnels have a 7,6m diameter, so a 180 m^2 section (rounded down to account for the sidewalk, track and catenary, but still an overshot imo).

The tunnels are connected in two places to allow train redirection (if necessary).

To block all trains, Pierre would have likely chosen this spot, nearest to France:

Assuming this intersection is at one fourth of way underwater, this would place it ¼*37+3,7(the French underground section) = 12,95 km from the French side. The actual distance doesn’t matter that much in regard to literally everything else but it’s nice to get an order of magnitude.

The varying width of the tunnel on the graph (specifically at the intersections) could let us think there are two tracks (and two catenaries) in here. So do we double the section?

I haven’t found easily accessible information on it so let’s say yes.

Now, what thickness do we think the slabs are? I originally wanted to say 50 cm but let’s be gracious and say they’re 20 cm thick.

Each slab would be composed of 72 m^3 of granite and weigh nearly 200 tonnes (194,4), or 200000 kilograms each (about apparently 33 stegosauruses).

There are still a lot of logistical questions I do not want to think about, such as how can this man move 200t with each arm over 12 kms (probably more, we don’t know where he got them from), without damaging the tunnels (catenaries, sidewalks and all the other stuff) (I mean maybe sideways? But how to put them properly afterwards, and have it all be airtight at that?), without being stopped before entering the tunnel or apparently being noticed by, let’s say an eighth (half of a fourth) of the 36000 sensors inside the tunnels, so 4500 sensors.

They mentioned air would be running out. Somehow, I don’t think there wouldn’t be a service tunnel exit at an intersection? Imagine they’re all being like "oh no I’m dying :(" and a door opens and someone goes "what is going on in here?"

And Cliff and Chip? They, what, ran almost 40 km with drills in hand? In the service tunnel in the best case scenario? Why weren’t they picked up by the sensors?

What the fuck is this bullshit security?

[i-may-be-an-emu]

Sam was trying so hard 😭

[weirdagnes]

Epilogue idea for the Cardboard Stegosaurus: after Cliff and Marie Claire’s co-worker (I think AJ named him Pierre?) re-opened the tunnels and united the English and French geologist teams once again, the two find themselves bonding.

So they became friends, often visiting Marie Claire’s grave together, and reminiscing good memories of her. Pierre finds that Cliff isn’t so bad after all, it was his grief and jealousy that prevented him from seeing Cliff in a positive light.

Pierre also warms up to Cliff’s son, Chip, he finds himself spending time with the boy whenever he visits. The boy had his mother’s eyes, and though it brings up painful memories, Pierre felt protective and soft for Chip as he is still Marie Claire’s son after all.

Chip likes making cardboard cutouts of dinosaurs, his favorite the Stegosaurus. Pierre would let the boy infodump about dinosaurs, and would tell him cool rock facts in return. Cliff would return from the kitchen with their merienda, his heart warming at the sight of the two.

The sight felt familiar to Cliff, reminded him of his wife when she would play with her son. Wait - what did that mean?

Pierre slowly comes to a realization that he has found warmth and home whenever he was with Cliff and his son. Wait had he.. fallen for him? His long rival, the lover of his former love?

But wouldn’t falling for one another betray their love for Marie Claire? Cliff, does he even deserve Pierre when he failed saving Marie Claire from her own dark thoughts? And Pierre, does he even deserve Cliff after he’s attempted to destroy the Euro tunnel, where their love first blossomed?

The two navigates these new feelings, they grew and healed together. Their relationship transforms from a classic enemies to friends to lovers. The two confessed their love one night and laughed at the odd turn of events. There was life after Marie Claire, and it is promising.

Pierre financially helps the Cliff and his son, even offering them to stay at his home if Cliff could no longer afford to sustain the family. Pierre would also teach Chip some French, which to their shock, helped him manage his English/French seizures (yes that is integral to the plot).

They married, Chip has 2 dads now, and they lived happily ever after👨‍👨‍👦

[generalidiocy]

My Top Ten Favourite SFTH Plays (vaguely ranked, but it changes a lot). Also, idk how to put things under a cut intentionally so you folks might have to sit through this, sorry about that /gen, the autism has overtaken me tonight /hj

10. The Midnight Mystery

I mean, Scottish Batman is too iconic to not be included on this list

9. OMG, Is This A Joke?

This one is iconic, I've gone off it slightly recently but that's probably because I've watched it too many times lol

8. Lost In Your Eyes

Plot centered around romance that I don't dislike? That's a win. Love the adventure here too, and no deaths either! (/s)

7. Priscilla's Final Petal

SFTH is really good at horror, I wish they did it more often. Yet another traumatized child to add to the collection

6. The Cardboard Stegosaurus

I mean, this one is a difficult watch but it's so beautifully done. BBC News is my favourite character

5. Wine Under The Bridge

This is where it gets tricky now. The top five order changes a lot... Troll Son is adorable and the whole play is hilarious 🐐🐐

4. The Unrelenting Aubergine

I laughed so much watching this one when it aired. Beautiful love story, iconic characters and comedy, overall wonderful

3. The Mystery Of The Midnight Circus

Senile Sherlock Holmes is a fantastic concept, and the whole thing is bloody hilarious! Easy to understand as well, given that I know very little of ACD Holmes

2. The Excited Chinchilla

Sci-fi is my favourite genre, and this was such a good example of it! Idk what my favourite part is, but the chinchilla puppeteering Roy/Gary is engrained in my brain

1. Inside the Mysterious Cube

I mean, I know it's a popular one but that's cause it's good! I love sci-fi so this was perfect, bubbamiah is beautifully heartbreaking, and I love the cube characters too!

Well done if you made it to the end, sorry for the ramble, just needed somewhere to put my autism /hj

[practicedvmm13fullofpotatoes]

All of sfth's improvized plays described by someone with bad/selective memory (but remembers 90% of the sentences they make up) pt. 4

16) The Cardboard Stegosaurus

Cliff missing his wife and Chip having seizures because something something British and French

17) The Ingredients

Tom pronouncing paella wrong (I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S IN THIS PLAY OR IF I'M MIXING THINGS UP AGAIN) and that one scene with the screams

18) The Excited Chinchilla

Murderous German chinchilla from the WAAR!! because unsnipped chinchillas become evil (I think a political figure was in this play, I just don't remember who it was something like. Teresa?)

19) The Prime Minister's First Day

Something something politics I don't really remember anything from this play that stuck with me

20) The Leftenmost Window

Tom plays an important character I swear, Sam playing the wife who I'm pretty sure is unnamed, Luke playing Egburt and Sally (they're definitely in my top 10 favorite Luke characters), AJ fucking things up /aff

Prev // Next

[goingroundincircles-ontrack]

I return with part 5 of my reviews of sfth's improvised plays

Burglaries and Bobsleds 9/10

I really enjoyed watching this play, and not only because of the return of Andre Beetroot. The accents were all over the place and the names were hilarious (helter skelter is my new favourite name now but ham burgerfuhrer is also pretty good) The plot was pretty good too, but I feel sorry for poor helter as he now has no family left. I also want to know how Andre Beetroot managed to go from hosting a beetroot competition in Somerset to hosting the European bobsledding championships.

Caeser and Juliet 8/10

Highly historically inaccurate but it doesn't matter. I love a dictator who's down bad for his significant other. That bit where Caesar is talking to his assistant and the assistant goes "she bathed in their blood" and caesar replies with "and her skin is glowing" has been playing on repeat in my brain. I also think the lines about power are really good and I keep thinking of when Caesar proposes to Juliet how big Tom's ring is on AJ's finger. Also AJ's singing is glorious.

The Cardboard Stegosaurus 9/10

I find it so funny that the whole play is based on the idea that two people made the eurotunnel with handheld power tools. The bit about Cliff's wife falling off the cliff (the "Whee! That looks like a trilabite!" bit) is so funny. A pretty solid play all in all

As always lmk what you think and I'll be back with part 6 in the not too distant future

Parts 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

[boviform]

To the few SFTH fans on Tumblr, I wrote a short fic based on the Cardboard Stegosaurus if anyone is interested...

[suginami-division]

Darkness covered over the city of Suginami, marking the ending Shuu Edogawa's birthday.

Or at the very least, the end of the day was drawing near.

And yet one of his assistants had knocked on his office door, carrying in a hefty package that had just been delivered to them.

Shuu blinked. "It's from Shian Meizono?"

"I think so. The one from Akihabara Division with red hair and the black hat? She was off in a hurry but still dropped this off for you."

Shuu giddily picked up the package and set it down on top of his desk.

Plastered on top of the cardboard box was an open letter with a birthday messaged addressed to him in handwriting that was hardly legible. Picking apart his head to decipher the words, he read the contents to himself.

"Happy Birthday"

"What was the last time we saw each other, one of the pageants? Haven't really needed your help in any cases or hunts these last months, so maybe that's why we haven't spoken. Thank god. But anyway, here's to another birthday for you. Hope you had a good one.

— Shian Meizono"

After using the last of his brainpower to decipher the scribbles that was Shian's handwriting, Shuu pried open the cardboard box and peered inside.

The box was filled to the brim with various crocheted dinosaur plushies of various colors, ranging from: T-rex, Stegosaurus, Triceratops, or Brontosaurus.

The poor detective was burnt out from the day’s events and yet after using his last remaining brain cells to decipher the letter, he couldn’t help getting a burst of energy upon seeing the adorable present in the box.

“Kyahhhh so cute~!”

Rushing up to his room, he couldn’t be bothered to sort these dinosaur plushies like he had done with the Fukuoka butler’s earlier assortment of toys. Scattering the crochet dinosaurs over his already crowded bed, Shuu flops into the mattress with a happy groan. Snuggling into his comforter, the detective gives one of the soft triceratops a sleepy kiss before he utters out a soft, “Good night…”

Thank you for the gift! Legit I was like Shuu and I had to sleep before I got to this lol ｡-ᆺ-｡ <( Zzz)

[containatrocity]

"And then we glue it down here and-" It is not exactly uncommon to bear witness to Cyan and Gabe trying to spark their singular braincell together to do something they shouldn't. At current, they appear to be affixing traffic cones to the roof and hood of Cyan's van, producing a look not unlike a stegosaurus- which further explains the honestly rather impressive cardboard head taped to the grille. "And then when we finally have to push this bitch to the Boone place, at least we can have fun with it- Gabe, toss me the booze." Cyan nearly spills off the top of the van to catch one of the bottles of moonshine, leaning down to knock it against G's own. "Kanpai!" He takes a long drink, catching himself against a 'spike' before spotting Natalie approaching. "Heeeeey Natalie!" He shouts, jumping down. "What up? Sissy's not around if that's who you're looking for. She's back at our place making the tail. but you can hang if you want, G's about to head out, has plans with Joooooosie. Movie night."

"yeah, we're watching movies."

"Netflix and shake like a nervous dog." He snorts. "But seriously, we're just shooting the shit, and Sissy'll be by in a bit, if you just wanna kick it or something."

@ambercast

[i-may-be-an-emu]

SFTH Fic Masterlist

#16. The Cardboard Stegosaurus

Full masterlist here

[thriftrescue]

Very Handsome Stegosaurus at thrift “dodoland” cardboard sculpture. 25c.

[stijlw]

sandra meets the roof-lizard  (2019), paper wheatpasted on cardboard sections

[promptsforthestrugglingauthor]

I would love an assignment! Don't care what I'm curious as to what's on your desk as well lmao. Currently my WiFi is being fussy and it's also causing signal problems. I should be packing up my room buuuuuut I'm feeling a great deal overwhelmed at the amount of stuff I have and how little plastic bins I have with which to pack. My current place is infested with roaches. And I'm trying me best not to take any with me by using corrugated cardboard://

I’m sorry to hear you’re having a rough time! I hope things turn out nicely as soon as possible!

I’ll assign you a yellow stegosaurus enamel pin!

[cursedorange]

me: hey muffy i got this cardboard cutout of a stegosaurus for you

muffy: oh man thanks! heres two thousand fucking dollars

[phillymagicgardens]

Crafting Through Corona: Recycled Creatures

Although these instructions are for a stegosaurus, you can make any creature you want using materials from around your house!

Materials for Stegosaurus:  

-Juice bottle (cleaned and dry) -Pudding cup (cleaned and dry) -Foam sheets, card stock, or cardboard -Popsicle sticks -Googly eyes -Markers -Hot glue or tape -Scissors

Instructions:

1. Use the juice bottle for the body and the pudding cup for the head. The pudding cup may fit right onto the end of the bottle or it can be taped or glued. You can also use different kinds of recycled items to create the body. Look at the shapes of what you have to decide what would be best to use. I suggest Googling “stegosaurus” to find a picture to use for reference.

2. Cut several triangles from your foam sheet, card stock or cardboard to be the stegosaurus plates. This material just needs to be stiff enough to stand on its own. I would suggest making between 5 and 10 triangles of different sizes.

3. Decorate your triangles any way you want. You can draw on them, paint them, or glue decorations to them. This can be a good way to include younger crafters who may not be able to glue or cut.

4. Glue the triangles down the middle of the bottle. Save a few for the tail. If you only have tape, place one piece of tape on each side.   5. Make the face on the pudding cup. Add googly eyes if you have them. You can also create your own eyes by cutting small circles from paper and drawing a black circle in the middle. Use a marker to draw to dots for the nose. You can create a mouth from foam, card stock, or cardboard.

6. Use two popsicle sticks to make the tail. Glue or tape one to the bottom of the back of the juice bottle so it extends straight out. The other should be glued to the end of the first popsicle stick and the bottom of the juice bottle to form a triangle. If you don’t have popsicle sticks, you could use similar sized pieces of cardboard.

7. Glue the triangle plates to your tail.

8. Cut two popsicle sticks in half. Kitchen shears or most good scissors work well. You could also use a knife on a cutting board. Glue or tape two on each side of the juice bottle so your stegosaurus can stand up.

Watch our video on YouTube for more information, and stay tuned for more crafts to do while stuck inside! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ITHcqOTQwE&t=6s

[lostigrillos-en]

FIVE DINOSAURS

By the end of the school year, I can imagine Dad's eagerness to reward us in some way for the results that appeared on the report card.

I was 9 years old at the time, and I still remember the cardboard in which 5 plastic dinosaurs were molded. Possibly the most memorable gift of those times!

Being 5 boys and girls, as mom said, it was by the way a very convenient way to get out of all the prizes in one fell swoop!

I wonder if there was any discussion about who got which dinosaur! The truth is that in the end I think that, at least the boys, we were quite satisfied with the assignments: I got the blue Stegosaurus, Edgar the green Triceratops, and Germán nothing less than the reddish Tyrannosaurus Rex. Arabella and Claudia were still very young and perhaps more interested in dolls than prehistoric monsters, but they were given the remaining two nonetheless: the gray Brontosaurus and the (black) Dimetrodon, respectively. By the way, imitating their older brothers, they also played with them from time to time.

I don't think any toy has had as much of an impact on our lives as those five dinosaurs.

A DINOSAUR CALLED SPOCK Those were the days when we didn't miss Star Trek on TV, following with avid fascination the adventures of the Enterprise and her crew on "their bold mission for the next 5 years." We are nothing less than natives of the first Trekkie generation!

It was therefore not unusual that the dinosaurs were named after the protagonists of the series: My Stegosaurus, with its triangular plates along its back, had no choice but to be called Spock.

Almost predicting the future, Edgar's (future doctor) Triceratops was named Doctor McCoy, and Germán's T-Rex got Scotty, the engineer. Lieutenant Uhura matched the Brontosaurus, and Lieutenant Sulu the Dimetrodon.

This photo obtained from the internet correctly shows 4 of the 5 dinosaurs in the story. At that time they did not have such a luxury of detail, they were of a single color and simple mold.

THE ENTERPRISE

The vacations began and the imagination turned one of the rooms of the house into the control bridge of the spaceship Enterprise. A slide viewer that Dad kept in his lab was borrowed to become the ship's screen where stars, enemy Romulans, and planets to visit would appear. At the tip of stacked books, the operations consoles and the different control boards were established, suddenly putting some device on top of them, or anything that could seem like "technology". A drawing of planets lit from behind by a lamp once served as a window into space.

But what, and where is Captain Kirk?!

The truth is that we had run out of dinosaurs! Suddenly, the huge stuffed crocodile that had remained from Uncle Jaime's hunting adventures (and whom we called "Cocodron") was recruited to take command of the ship. It barely fit through the door, and it knocked the crew down with its tail! We were amused by the absurdity of the matter. Other dolls, including some rabbit skin puppies that we got at a handicraft store in Zipaquirá, completed the missing stalls.

We thus spent countless hours playing Star Trek, and familiarizing ourselves with terminologies such as "the computer", that sophisticated invention that had its own room attached to the bridge, and to which they could ask verbal questions! Not to mention that "the transporter" would materialize the brave explorers in other parts of the house, where they would have many adventures.

I really believe that Star Trek and these games shared with my brothers had a great influence on our professional orientations, interest in astronomy, science, and our future careers.

THE STEGOALBUM It wasn't just a game. The 5 dinosaurs aroused in us an immense scientific curiosity. The encyclopedia at home, and maybe other books I don't remember, would educate us about these fascinating creatures.

Even so, it was insufficient, I had to create my own record: In a notebook I started what I called El Stegoalbum de Stegosaurus. And there, with great patience, I dedicated myself to drawing the best possible catalog of dinosaurs. Of course the first entry was the Stegosaurus. Part of the fascination is that they should be as big, heavy and ancient as possible. The more tons, meters tall and millions of years old, the better! I put a lot of zeros in the millions of years, and the weights sure were a complete exaggeration!

With more judgment and methodology, this later became a much more orderly exercise, aspiring to be an entire encyclopedia in itself. I baptized it “The Zoological Album”, in large-leaf notebooks. In addition to its own drawings, it received the collectible cards of the Jet chocolate bars, magazine clippings and others, and a meticulous copy in pen ink of the articles of each animal species, taken from the "Encyclopedia Barsa" and whatever source that crossed my path.

My brother Edgar was not far behind and similarly started his own animal encyclopedia, possibly surpassing mine in quality of drawings and entries.

Mom, adding fuel to the fire, gave me the Natura Viva encyclopedia for my birthday, three huge green volumes that I still keep, this time an exhaustive compendium of the animal kingdom. Over the years, our family lived in the fascination of science knowledge thanks to the constant stimulation in the form of books, collection albums, encyclopedias sold in the form of fascicles, and good teachers in our schools.

INTERESTS CHANGE The animal encyclopedia was left behind due to the frustration of realizing that so many species would never fit in a notebook. And other interests, among them the birth of the journalistic hobby with Los Tigrillos changed my course.

Meanwhile, my brother Edgar would find a hobby that he maintained for years, becoming an expert geographer. Our shared readings of the World Almanac, which was not lacking in the house, renewed year after year, filled us with interesting facts and eagerness to learn about other countries, the highest mountains, the longest rivers, the capitals, the currencies, the Languages.

But he took on the part of the maps with total dedication: the Atlases were not enough for him, and he spent whole hours absorbed in drawing his own maps, in full detail. Thanks to this, he memorized cities, geographical features, and other peculiarities of the different countries, developing outstanding skills that would later be of immense use to him in his professional development as a doctor. It never ceased to amaze me that I could ask him about the capitals of the French provinces, political changes in Africa, or any detail of any country.

25 YEARS LATER The five dinosaurs passed into the hands of the next generation. I was surprised one day to see that Mr. Spock was still among the toys of my nephews, Germán's children! One day when we visited them he came out with the doll, and his question... "do you remember this?".

ANOTHER 25 YEARS LATER: TIGRILLOWIKI This thing about self-written encyclopedias still persists. The advances in today's technology and the appearance of Wikipedia on the Internet, reactivated the interest in developing my own work.

Over the last 12 years, I have been almost constantly feeding my own professional guide to Computing in the manner of Wikipedia. With more than 27,000 articles, "Tigrillowiki" at https://www.tigrillolinux.net aspires to be a public reference and is for me an indispensable and daily reference resource with practical knowledge in the area of ​​my specialty (Linux systems). I invite you to visit it and recommend it among your computer friends!

The five dinosaurs have come far! Fascinating, Mr. Spock would say!

David Ramirez June 9, 2022 for LOS TIGRILLOS Georgetown, Texas

Dedicated to my brother Edgar, who is going through an important health situation right now.