#the cardboard stegosaurus

[dingdinghq]

all sfth knows is play sad, traumatized children and LIE

[svnnyd4ys]

SFTH character tweets!!

[i-may-be-an-emu]

“So why did you bring us to the cliff where she jumped- 😟🫢😬 I mean fell 😌😃”

[letsbesharkfriends]

was looking for a screenshot but I just love this one

[boogflake]

I think "The cardboard stegosaurus" was made for me, the stegosaurus has ALWAYS been my special interest (i have proof) and i'm a frenchie 🤔🤔

[practicedvmm13fullofpotatoes]

From the results of this poll, I bestow upon you all.. Three playlists!! Why? Because I suddenly got motivation to do them since those 7 days

In first place, The Lefternmost Window, a playlist about Sally!!

In second place, The Cardboard Stegosaurus, a playlist about Marie-Claire!! Playlist image from The Clovers and Crows :)

In third place, No! I Always Loved That Caravan!, a playlist about the O'Hands!!

[youling-the-ghost]

paralysed – a cliff & chip ficlet

TW: suicidal ideation When grief struck him, Cliff felt no sadness or anguish or anger, he simply felt...numb. (inspired by this edit by @i-may-be-an-emu) word count: 838

Cliff felt nothing.

Those words might feel like hyperbole, but they weren't.

Looking out the window, Cliff barely flinched as he saw a squirrel be reduced to a pile of blood and guts on the side of the road by some reckless driver. He should feel bad, he should want to rush out and cradle the squirrel in his hands and scramble to save it.

But he didn't.

He tried that once before; tried cradling her head, did everything he could to try and save her life, cried and screamed and begged. And yet here he was, sitting on the couch, the familiar weight in his lap no longer there.

Cliff took a sip of his drink. The tea had long since turned cold.

He wasn't sure when it started—last week, maybe? All he knew was that one night, he went to bed with tearstains on his pillowcase and woke up unable to cry.

His co-workers told him that it was a good thing, that he was finally moving on. Cliff tried to believe them.

"Dad?"

Cliff turned to look behind him. "Yes, Chip?"

Chip's eyes glossed over for a split second before they blinked back to normalcy and he said, "Um, I need you to drive me to school."

"Ah, yes, of course."

Chip was Marie-Claire's nickname for her darling son. For Cliff, his son was always "kiddo".

Cliff got up from his couch and looked at his son, his precious son that he once adored with his whole heart and more, his son who had Marie-Claire's eyes and Marie-Claire's smile and a hint of Marie-Claire's French accent when he talked. He felt no affection in his heart, even when he tried squeezing it dry.

Cliff grabbed his jacket and headed out the door.

The steering wheel was cool against his hands. Cliff ignited the car and let the rumbling noises ring out.

"Um, dad?" Chip's squeaky voice piped up. "Your seatbelt..."

"Oh, right."

Frankly, Cliff didn't care to do up his seatbelt.

The seatbelt secured with a quiet click.

Chip stayed quiet as the car drove forward. Normally—no, formerly—Marie-Claire would blast rock music from the speakers and Chip would giggle at the songs that he recognised and Cliff would chuckle helplessly because he knew none of the songs. BBC News muttered some burglary case from the speakers.

Neither Cliff nor Chip knew how to connect their phones to the car speakers.

How unfair the world was, Cliff thought as the car approached a red light. So many rules and regulations and standard in place, just to ensure the safety of the people. And yet, one wrong move and it all comes crumbling down.

He could die right now, Cliff mused. There was nothing stopping him from letting go of the steering wheel and stepping on the gas pedal and crashing into some undeserving house.

But he didn't.

The school was visible through the light fog now. Cliff stepped on the brakes and stopped as a line of children marched down the crosswalk. He thought back to the squirrel. It was probably long dead by now, its skin cold and its eyes lifeless and its mouth curled into the slightest hint of a smile as it used the last of its strength to whisper—

Cliff sped back up as the children all made it safely to the other side. He drove into the drop-off zone and parked. Chip stayed silent the whole time.

"Take care, kid—Chip," he said as his son stepped out of the car with a backpack that was almost twice his size.

"Bye, dad," said Chip in a strained voice. Then he was gone.

Cliff sighed and turned his head back to the road.

Should he just leave?

It would be painful, his bones would hurt, but at least it would be something. He could be with his love again, and there would be no one in this realm to love him anyway. Cliff despaired at the way his heart didn't so much as clench at the idea of ending his own life.

"Wait!"

Cliff snapped his head up. It was Chip's voice.

There Chip was rushing towards him, his backpack swaying from side to side like a squirrel's tail as he did so.

"What's up, kiddo?" Cliff didn't catch himself that time.

Chip leaned through the car window and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"I love you, dad," he said with a smile—one of those pure smiles that only a child could wear. And he was off again. Cliff watched as his son sprinted towards the main doors and was scolded by the principal for disdemeanour, and his heart clenched in affection.

He seemed to have forgotten about the one other person who loved him.

Cliff unparked the car and went on his path home. A squirrel obstructed his path, and he slowed down to let the rodent pass.

He will live. For Chip's sake, for Marie-Claire's sake, and, maybe one day, for his own sake too.

[moulinruno]

Oh, I've been low, but damn it I bet it don't show It was heaven a moment ago I had it, almost We had it, almost

[je-lurk]

It’s time for another sfth fact check! This time concerning the Cardboard Stegosaurus.

Pierre has blocked the Eurotunnel with two blocks of granite.

Some facts about granite:

Granite has a hardness from 6 to 8 on the Mohs scale (depending on the source). It’s very resistant but far from unbreakable (diamond is at 10 on the scale).

Granite’s density apparently varies between 2,63 and 2,75. For the calculations we’ll use 2,7 meaning granite weighs 2700 kilograms by cubic meter.

Some facts about the Eurotunnel:

The Eurotunnel is 50 km long, with a 38 km section under the sea. For those who don’t know this is a train tunnel. It’s actually two tunnels, each with one train track.

The tunnels have a 7,6m diameter, so a 180 m^2 section (rounded down to account for the sidewalk, track and catenary, but still an overshot imo).

The tunnels are connected in two places to allow train redirection (if necessary).

To block all trains, Pierre would have likely chosen this spot, nearest to France:

Assuming this intersection is at one fourth of way underwater, this would place it ¼*37+3,7(the French underground section) = 12,95 km from the French side. The actual distance doesn’t matter that much in regard to literally everything else but it’s nice to get an order of magnitude.

The varying width of the tunnel on the graph (specifically at the intersections) could let us think there are two tracks (and two catenaries) in here. So do we double the section?

I haven’t found easily accessible information on it so let’s say yes.

Now, what thickness do we think the slabs are? I originally wanted to say 50 cm but let’s be gracious and say they’re 20 cm thick.

Each slab would be composed of 72 m^3 of granite and weigh nearly 200 tonnes (194,4), or 200000 kilograms each (about apparently 33 stegosauruses).

There are still a lot of logistical questions I do not want to think about, such as how can this man move 200t with each arm over 12 kms (probably more, we don’t know where he got them from), without damaging the tunnels (catenaries, sidewalks and all the other stuff) (I mean maybe sideways? But how to put them properly afterwards, and have it all be airtight at that?), without being stopped before entering the tunnel or apparently being noticed by, let’s say an eighth (half of a fourth) of the 36000 sensors inside the tunnels, so 4500 sensors.

They mentioned air would be running out. Somehow, I don’t think there wouldn’t be a service tunnel exit at an intersection? Imagine they’re all being like "oh no I’m dying :(" and a door opens and someone goes "what is going on in here?"

And Cliff and Chip? They, what, ran almost 40 km with drills in hand? In the service tunnel in the best case scenario? Why weren’t they picked up by the sensors?

What the fuck is this bullshit security?

[weirdagnes]

Epilogue idea for the Cardboard Stegosaurus: after Cliff and Marie Claire’s co-worker (I think AJ named him Pierre?) re-opened the tunnels and united the English and French geologist teams once again, the two find themselves bonding.

So they became friends, often visiting Marie Claire’s grave together, and reminiscing good memories of her. Pierre finds that Cliff isn’t so bad after all, it was his grief and jealousy that prevented him from seeing Cliff in a positive light.

Pierre also warms up to Cliff’s son, Chip, he finds himself spending time with the boy whenever he visits. The boy had his mother’s eyes, and though it brings up painful memories, Pierre felt protective and soft for Chip as he is still Marie Claire’s son after all.

Chip likes making cardboard cutouts of dinosaurs, his favorite the Stegosaurus. Pierre would let the boy infodump about dinosaurs, and would tell him cool rock facts in return. Cliff would return from the kitchen with their merienda, his heart warming at the sight of the two.

The sight felt familiar to Cliff, reminded him of his wife when she would play with her son. Wait - what did that mean?

Pierre slowly comes to a realization that he has found warmth and home whenever he was with Cliff and his son. Wait had he.. fallen for him? His long rival, the lover of his former love?

But wouldn’t falling for one another betray their love for Marie Claire? Cliff, does he even deserve Pierre when he failed saving Marie Claire from her own dark thoughts? And Pierre, does he even deserve Cliff after he’s attempted to destroy the Euro tunnel, where their love first blossomed?

The two navigates these new feelings, they grew and healed together. Their relationship transforms from a classic enemies to friends to lovers. The two confessed their love one night and laughed at the odd turn of events. There was life after Marie Claire, and it is promising.

Pierre financially helps the Cliff and his son, even offering them to stay at his home if Cliff could no longer afford to sustain the family. Pierre would also teach Chip some French, which to their shock, helped him manage his English/French seizures (yes that is integral to the plot).

They married, Chip has 2 dads now, and they lived happily ever after👨‍👨‍👦

[je-lurk]

It’s not just Cliff and Chip, AJ had the genius to name the French geologist Pierre.

It’s Cliff, Chip, and Stone.

Rewatching one of my favourite longforms from Shoot from the Hip. .

Did you know Chip's name in The Cardboard Stegosaurus was originally Bradley. . Then Sam changed his own characters name to Chip because Cliff and Chip would be funnier. . especially since the dead mom was called Marie Claire. Since I had forgotten that happened till I rewatched.

[svnnyd4ys]

sfth as more headlines x

love making these iwl to you guys

[i-may-be-an-emu]

woe Cliff angst be upon ye

warning for distortion/glitching effects

Music credit: “Paralyzed” by NF

Video credit: shootimpro (“The Cardboard Stegosaurus” improvised play #16)

[youling-the-ghost]

ayyyy we're matching!

found the only sfth quiz on uquiz:

and honestly yeah life is shit

my fave WEBB subtitle just to lighten the mood

[generalidiocy]

I could edit new plays, but I love The Cardboard Stegosaurus, so it's getting more edits

I've not watched SU, but the the song is lovely, and it fits

If my laptop cooperates, I've got some edit ideas for SNFTHITW and BOTB, but if anyone has any ideas they'd like me to try, do tell me!

Wishing you well <3

[practicedvmm13fullofpotatoes]

I've lowkey lost ideas so

And then from there I'll just pick a character/relationship I like