#the boy has been self-sabotaging himself so hard | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

melonsodypop · 2 months ago

Note

H-hi! I hope It's ok if my first request is not a smutty one? Yakuza men and what makes them feel loved? Thank you in advance!

yakuza men and the things that make them feel loved !

❀ pairing - kazuma kiryu, goro majima, taiga saejima, shun akiyama, y0!akira nishikiyama, daigo dojima, ryuji goda/reader (all seperate)

❀ tags - fluff, angst, gender neutral reader, probably sloppy character analysis, these men all really need therapy, love languages, alcohol/smoking mentions

❀ a/n - of course non-smut requests are welcome!! stares at my college degree on the wall that focused almost entirely on how people's experiences, relationships and environments affect them and their inner wounds/ways they want to be loved... i am so ready to break these down hehehehe (also i learned how to use gradient text are u guys proud of me)

kazuma kiryu ❀ spending time with him

deceptively simple, kiryu feels the most loved when you decide to just exist near him

oftentimes he feels like he's undeserving of company or that his mere presence is a danger to his loved ones, so frankly your insistence on being close to him is going to freak him out at first

he might even start avoiding you in the early stages of a relationship - don't take it personally, it's just that he loves you so much that he's anxious about hurting you

the more and more you stick by him, the more he realizes that he doesn't have to do everything on his own

in fact, he likes not doing everything on his own, a wave of relief every time he remembers that he has someone he trusts and admires deeply at his side

it slowly heals that deep emotional wound he carries that for someone to love him means for them to be hurt

the reason i hesitate to use the word 'quality time' with him is that he doesn't even really need you to be doing something with him

just being in the same room as him, focusing on whatever you both are working on separately

he's never been one to be comfortable expressing himself in words, the silence between the two of you like a warm blanket instead of awkward

i could get into my hc that he's autistic so it's a form of parallel play to him, but i digress

if you look over at him, you'll see that there's a rare soft smile on his lips

wordlessly will walk over to you and pull you flush to his side gently, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead

"i like when you're here," he'll grumble softly to you - which in kiryu-isms, really means 'please stay by my side like this forever'

goro majima ❀ letting him vent/talk about his feelings

oh boy i have so many thoughts about majima and how hard of a time he has accepting love

he's a master at self-sabotage - he doesn't know how to process feelings of love or affection, nor does he really feel that a piece of shit like him deserves it (see: how often he tells others that they'd be better off without him)

so he often chooses to bury his feelings instead of doing something about it

it was much the same when it came to you - he loves you so much, painfully so, but there was always that annoying voice in his head that told him that that you had better things to do than spend time on a mongrel like him

he'll keep his conversations surface-level with you at first, but ask him how he feels about everything and validate what he says

it'll catch him off-guard at first, and he might even try to put up a front and say he doesn't like talking about that sappy shit

but he'll eventually start giving in, going on long rants about all the crap he had to deal with that day or his 'tragic fuckin' backstory' while you listen intently

the more you wrench his ribcage open and force him to expose his real heart to you, the more he starts falling helplessly for you

not only are you letting him acknowledge and let out the emotions he keeps bottled up close to his chest, but you're seeing every ugly, rotten part of him and you still love him

now, that doesn't mean don't hold him accountable when he's kinda being a dick

praising everything he does will just make him feel like you're putting him on a pedestal or seeing some idealized version of himself you made up in your head

which will give his brain an excuse to run out on you before he eventually disappoints you

so don't let him run - from his feelings, from accountability, from you

the mad dog doesn't like to be collared, but for the person who looks past every facade he puts up and lets him just be goro majima - he'll happily put himself on a leash if it's you who's holding it

taiga saejima ❀ giving him physical affection

for most of his life, saejima was treated like a dangerous beast due to his size and that perpetual scowl on his face

it only got worse after the ueno seiwa hit - shackled like a circus tiger as he was dragged from jail to jail, never able to escape whispers of 'the man who slayed eighteen' and 'the stone-cold hitman' that make him sound more like an urban legend monster than a man

saejima has his own pride in his strength, and for the longest time he just accepted that he was the untouchable, scary beast that everyone made him out to be

it's not until you come into his life and start to subjecting him to little casual touches of affection that he realizes how touch-starved he is

grab his hand, cuddle him, catch him off-guard with kisses to his weary face - it makes his chest tighten in a way he doesn't understand just yet

he feels silly that such small, soft things are affecting him this much at first, but every casual little touch you give him makes him feel less like the boogeyman and more like a person

the fact that you trust him enough and feel safe enough to him to attach yourself to him... he feels like he could cry

it takes a while for him to start returning your touches, but when he does he suddenly turns into the biggest teddy bear

every time he holds your cute little face or holds you protectively against his chest at night, he's taught that his hands can do more than just inflicting pain

he'll never, ever admit it out loud but he loves it the most when you hug him, your arms barely able to wrap around his thick torso but trying your best regardless

he can't help but chuckle as he feels your body meld against his, patting your head and wrapping his arm protectively around your shoulders

he knows people would gawk if they saw how cuddly he gets with you, but he can't really bring himself to care

he's not a monster, a beast, stone-cold, or a killer when he's in your arms - just a big, soft tiger

shun akiyama ❀ taking care of his physical needs

akiyama SUCKS at taking care of himself, often relying on other people (i.e. hana-chan's scoldings) to remind him to eat or get his work done

it's not like he's completely helpless, he insists - he at least keeps himself clean and well-groomed

but being homeless for as long as he was, he eventually just forgot how to attend to his needs

even now, with all the money in the world, he's still unlearning how he had to just suppress his hunger pangs when food was an uncertainty and sleeping on a regular schedule when shelter wasn't always guaranteed

his body does it unconsciously now, often attending to his paperwork for hours on end without even noticing that he's hungry or tired

he feels embarrassed when you start slipping him bentos here and there when he's so wrapped up in his work, often giving you an apologetic smile and profuse thank you's

but the fact that you cared enough to notice, and cared even more to go out and get him something to eat makes him remember why he fell for you in the first place

he might protest weakly when you pull him away from his work when you notice his eyes are getting sunken and his body's lagging behind

or roll his eyes with a smirk when you snatch a cigarette from between his lips and smush it in the nearby ashtray, reminding him that he was whining about needing to quit smoking just yesterday

but he's truly, genuinely thankful that you're forcing him to take care of himself, the fact that you're invested enough in his wellbeing to scold him

he'll be damned though if he becomes one of those boyfriends that treats you like his mother, though - he may call himself a bum, but he's not THAT much of a bum

expect to be taken care of in equal measure, akiyama insisting to pay for your meals and run your errands for you to show with his actions, not just his words, how cared for you make him feel

akira nishikiyama ❀ praising him

yeahhh i couldn't not talk about nishiki's inferiority complex and how damaged his self-esteem is

his cool-guy bravado very thinly covers up a mountain of insecurities

he doesn't really feel like he does much of anything right, too pathetic to be a scary yakuza and too cowardly to stand up for himself or what he believes in

so anytime you genuinely praise him and tell him he did a good job with something, the high he gets from it is strong enough that he could probably quit nicotine, he thinks

he preens when you compliment how stylish he looks or how well he styled his hair - he takes a LOT of pride in his appearance, probably one of the few things he doesn't really have insecurities about

he can't help but grin ear to ear when you cheer for him at karaoke, or clap and whoop when he gets a strike at the bowling alley

he admires you so, so much, and that verbal affirmation that you think just as highly of him soothes that little boy inside that never thinks he's good enough for anything or anybody

every time you compliment him, he gets so giddy that he'll grab you by the waist and start pressing kisses all over your face

"i did that for you, baby," he'll claim proudly, his eyes shining with affection

the first time he cried in front of you, he was shocked that you didn't call him a crybaby or told him to man up

you just held him gently and wiped away his tears, whispering that he did the best he could and that you were so proud of him

he absolutely crumbles when he hears that, hugging you close and crying even harder :(

it kills him (in a good way) that even when you see him at his most vulnerable, you don't think he's pathetic or weak, just someone who needs the reassurance and comfort he's been deprived of his whole life

i'm not saying you'll fix him, necessarily - but perhaps the entirety of 1 could have been avoided if someone just told him he was doing a good job

daigo dojima ❀ letting him be weak

from the moment daigo was born a dojima, he was expected to be as strong, proud, and cold as the rest of his family

even when he left the tojo clan after the ryuji incident to not have to carry that expectation anymore, he still had a gang of people who started to follow him and put them on a pedestal as their leader

and now, as the sixth chairman, he has even less opportunities to let his guard down, not with thirty thousand people looking to him as an example and his enemies lurking at all times

daigo's resolve is strong, having long since accepted his lot in life as a leader - but he can't deny that he just gets so exhausted sometimes

so when he can come home to you, who doesn't expect him to be the sixth chairman, a dojima, or hell, even a yakuza, just daigo, is when he feels the most loved

sometimes just lays his head on your lap when it's just the two of you on the couch in the living, the feeling of your fingers threading gently through his jet-black hair and just being able to relax making the stress in his muscles melt away almost instantly

his greatest peace is when you both lay down to sleep at night, holding him in your arms and whispering to him about how hard he works and to get all the rest he needs

he hums softly and nuzzles into the crook of your neck, not saying anything back as he revels in the feeling of your fingernails scraping against his scalp as your digits comb through the tresses of his hair

there's no expectations, no danger, nobody expecting him to make a decision on the spot or suppress his personal feelings for the good of many

just his darling lover who sees him for who he is, feelings and weaknesses and all, and still loves him

he knows that there's a long list of things he has to do tomorrow and put on a strong face again, but for now he lets himself cuddle in your grasp, letting your words and gentle touches soothe him to sleep

ryuji goda ❀ when he gets to show off for you

a very... simple method of affection for a very straightforward man

he's just got some somewhat dated ideas about what it means to be a man in a relationship, and a lot of them revolve around flexing how strong and skilled he is to you

nothing makes him more satisfied than seeing your eyes shine with awe when he helps you move an insanely heavy piece of furniture or when he shows you just how much whiskey he can knock back in one go

it's less of the showing off itself that makes him feel loved - he's confident in his strength and his skills so he needs no reassurance in that department

but your cutely surprised reactions and the fact that you're so openly proud to call him your boyfriend that you'd let him strut his stuff out in public to show the world how cool and strong he is... yeah, that's what makes him happy

he gets so determined to show off for you that he sometimes gets in way over his head about things he usually wouldn't give a shit about

for example, when he tried to get you the cute stuffed animal that you wanted from the ufo catcher

ryuji scoffed and told you to step aside, confident that he would get it first try

until he didn't. and didn't on the second, third, fourth, fifth tries-

he let out a string of colorful curses as he watched the claw uselessly pinch at the round little sparrow, his jaw tensed in concentration as he shoved another coin into the machine's slot

ignores your reassurances that he really didn't need to do this for you, retrying until he eventually gets the damn thing to drop in the hole

he feels stupid until he hands the round bun-chan toy to you, your eyes wide and a smile on your lips

as soon as you hug him with a squealed thank you, he laughs, patting your head and telling you that it wasn't a huge deal

ryuji's not one to usually lie, but your praise and admiration is, unsurprisingly, the BIGGEST deal to him

as he wraps his arms around your waist to walk the streets of sotenbori, showing off both you on his arm and the little plushie he won you, he knows he would move both heaven and earth if it meant it would make you proud to call him your lover

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therainscene · 1 year ago

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There upon a rainbow is the answer to a Neverending Story: Will's time-travelling coming-of-age

[Spoilers for The First Shadow ahead, though they don't begin until after the cut. And obligatory disclaimer that I haven't seen the play for myself yet.]

Will Byers is a character haunted by his past.

I mean, obviously, right? After the awful events of S1, Zombie Boy finds himself getting literally hunted down by a giant metaphor for trauma; by S3, when all his friends are starting to grow up, Will is still clinging pathetically to childhood escapism while that trauma metaphor continues to bristle under his skin.

That's not to say that Will's refusal to conform to other people's ideas of what growing up means isn't one of his strengths -- but there's a difference between that and refusing to grow up at all, and Will is very much digging his stubborn little heels in when it comes to the inevitable changes of adolescence.

Because Will is also a character haunted by his future.

As a gay boy growing up in an era that despises gay men, Will's fate has been quite clearly spelled out for him: if he's lucky, he'll just be looked down upon as a pervert; if he's not, he'll get murdered or become an AIDS statistic.

It's hard not to be a late bloomer when you know how quickly undesirable flowers get pruned.

So the prickling at the back of his neck doesn't just flare up in moments that remind him of his past, but also in moments that remind him of his future.

The dark intimacy of the cinema and the sweltering eroticism of the sauna remind him that his feelings for Mike are developing into something new and terrifying...

...while Milevn's heteronormative antics remind him of how unlikely it is that Mike would ever want that sort of future with him anyway.

Even his debriefing on the Mind Flayer's return hints towards his struggle to accept this truth about himself:

Will describes his encounters with the Mind Flayer as like being frozen in place, and I think that applies to his timeline too: the Shadow surrounds him on both sides, boxing him in, preventing him from moving forward or backward.

The only temporal direction open to him is sideways... towards that equally frozen realm the Shadow came from in the first place.

And he's not the only one in this predicament.

-------------------

Like Will, Henry was trapped in an alternate dimension as a child, and like Will, the Mind Flayer followed him home and possessed him -- allowing past and future to torment his adolescent self in tandem.

Brenner pressures and manipulates young Henry to give in to the dark urges demanded by the Shadow, sending him helplessly down the path towards becoming Vecna.

It's the classic self-fulfilling prophecy that dooms many a "difficult" (traumatized/neurodivergent/queer) child whom the adults in their life have no idea how to handle: Henry is deemed too broken to be worth treating with patience or compassion, and when the abuse finally does break him... well, that's just proof they were right about him all along.

The Shadow possessing Henry in 1959 somehow presents not as a formless cloud of particles, but as the spider monster he himself would shape twenty years later...

...and I think this is evidence of a predestination loop.

El didn't just banish Henry to Dimension X, but sent him back in time, allowing him to create the same monster that possessed him as a child. The Shadow was never an alien -- it was a manifestation of Henry's worst possible future, bootstrapped into existence by Brenner's meddling.

Note that this means El is also trapped in a self-creating loop:

If El hadn't used her powers to send Henry to Dimension X, then he never would have been able to sabotage his own childhood... which means Henry might never have become an asset to Brenner, which means Terry would never have been injected with Henry's blood, which means El would never have been born with powers.

To be clear: I'm not saying that El or Henry brought this on themselves.

This is all an allegory for the cycle of abuse, so the self-sabotage going on here isn't about these characters literally being to blame for what Brenner did to them, but about how they self-blame: internalizing the abuse and perpetuating harm in turn.

Let's return to Will and consider one of the show's biggest mysteries: why was he taken in S1?

The play heavily implies that Henry's powers were acquired in Dimension X, and outright states that the lab kids' powers came from Henry's blood, so it's unlikely that Will was born with powers.

Maybe Will was just in the wrong place at the wrong time... but then why was it so important that this random kid be spared from Vecna's plans to kill everyone in S2? Perhaps something happened during his week in the Upside Down that made him an asset to Vecna... but given the similarities between Will's connection to the Mind Flayer and Henry's, I propose an alternative explanation:

Whatever made Will a target in S1 is something that won't happen until S5. Because Will is also trapped in a predestination loop.

If predestination loops are what happens when a self-sabotager is linked to the supernatural, then frankly it's almost impossible for Will not to be trapped in one.

Every season since returning from the Upside Down, Will has sacrificed himself to help his friends fight the horrors... and all three of those sacrifices have been deeply entwined with his feelings for Mike.

In S2, Will was willing to die to save his friends from the Mind Flayer after Mike's heartfelt monologue broke through his possession.

In S3, Will bottled up all the pain he was feeling after his fight with Mike and refused to address it again once he realized the party was going to need his help with the Mind Flayer.

And in S4, Will pretended that his painting was actually from El in an attempt to support Mike -- and save the day once it started to look like a S2-esque monologue from Mike was needed once again.

Over and over, Will takes the love he feels for another boy and channels it into The Greater Heteronormative Good as though he's trying to atone for something. But the older he gets, the less effective that becomes:

S2's sacrifice was crucial to saving the day.

S3's sacrifice was helpful... but like... his role was to be a glorified Geiger counter; he didn't exactly need to shut down emotionally to pull it off.

S4's sacrifice did fuck all to save the day, and he definitely didn't need to meddle with Milevn's relationship by injecting a lie into it -- the painting could have passed as platonic if he wanted.

If this pattern holds, then we can expect Will's next move to start causing harm.

I usually interpret Troy's above line as Vecna foreshadowing... but what if it's actually foreshadowing how Will's nearly-adult self is going to start the chain of events that lead to 12 year-old Will's kidnapping?

Homophobes often accuse gay men of being a threat to children, which is rich because homophobia is the actual threat to children. In his desperate efforts to suppress the desires that make him a target to homophobes, all Will has accomplished is to hurt himself on homophobes' behalf. He's become a homophobe.

And thus he dooms an innocent child to needless horrors.

It's tempting to believe that Will's S5 coming-of-age is going to involve breaking the loop and undoing all the horrible things that happened...

...But I don't think this is likely to be the sort of time travel story in which the past can be undone. For one thing, Will breaking the loop would also undo the entirety of Stranger Things; for another, this show isn't really about defeating abuse so much as surviving it.

My bet would be that Will can't destroy the loop any more than he can destroy 80s homophobia. But once the loop completes, he'll also be free to leave it in the past and take a brave step into the future -- one in which he fully accepts his right to be in love and lust with a boy.

As scary as that future is...

...he might be pleasantly surprised by what he finds there.

#stranger things #time travel #byler #will byers #henry creel #el hopper #mike wheeler #mind flayer #my analysis #tfs spoilers

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sugashook · 2 months ago

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ANALYSING GAMBIT's SYMBOLISM IN D&W : Logan's feelings and his love, and how they relate to wade's feelings of love:

Logan and Wade's feelings in Deadpool 3 are represented with the characters of Gambit and Althea. Let's analyze the two characters of Gambit and Althea quickly first.

Althea represents wade's love and feelings. which are blind . his feelings can't see other people, their hearts, traumas,feelings,their 'fangs'. they can only hear and touch them, etc. she's also fragile,kinda unhealthy and defenseless.

Gambit represents the feelings inside of Logan. They're pretty powerful, full of magic and tricks, never got the chance to show themselves properly. Explosive, at first unassuming. very pretty! a smidge younger also, which would make them more innocent.

Logan's feelings never left his headspace, he never allowed people into his life, his defenses were extremely high, so his feelings of love are very innocent inside of himself, actually.

its just a lot to get through to them, damn!!

WHILE on the opposite wade's feelings are double his own age, it's like his feelings are soooo worn out...they lived two lives more than wade.

emotionally he's a wiseish, matureish person, I think when he's at peace he's actually wise and mature though, compared to logan's innocent feelings. he knows more, he knows how to treat people, he also knows that he'll probably get hurt if he lets logan into his life. he's a bad boy....he's troubled....he's stronger and bigger than him

like his presence, his importance, his bluntness, i think he's not the nice sweet stripper vanessa, he's a big deal and i don't think wade is too ready to be a big deal, or wants to be anymore, to be deadpool, he just wants to hide. and with logan as your lap cat it's pretty hard to hide! but you gotta nurture him and take care of him cause you love him damn!!!

he's like a really angry important nuclear cosmic bomb of importance in your apartment.

wade's been through it in every way okay, and he WILL do it again. very easily. very easily.....

wade has been through IT. logan has been kinda through less emotional hardships than he could be at his age, even in comparison to wade or other logan's.. they're just different types of people that way.

one is out of his mind, one inside his mind. both can manage some things better. of course love master wade will help logan out.

Logan's feelings, Gambit, were also born where he met Wade. And his feelings never saved anyone before because he was born in a bad, tough place... but that will change!

Wade meets Logan's feelings:

Wade meets logan's feelings in the form of Gambit, and basically says, your feelings are useless like they won't help at all. Feelings don't matter, ever! Especially wade's, that's why he's projecting onto logan.

he's also projecting his less than premium feelings(althea) to logan's feelings who are quite young and healthy, and powerful (gambit). logan is just fine, and useful actually.

it doesn't matter how much wade loves something, it will usually leave him. or something bad will happen, because of his sick mind. his mind will win over his own frail feelings.

wade can love someone as much as he wants but as long as he's selfish, distant, self sabotaging, anxious,insecure,etc.etc. his feelings will never matter. they're not strong enough to help, he has to help them and they have to help him.

while outside forces are destroying the peace in his mind. wade can't handle life anymore. his feelings are literally old, near the end. his heart, his unvierse, it's falling apart.

he will continue hurting because of his feelings, while he sabotages himself, and while the world moves on from him and leaves him behind.

that's why he's always being rude to althea basically. he's scolding himself constantly on how his feelings are and how they act, etc.

Gambit doesn't even have anything special or high quality about them to wade (close up magic joke), so wade probably sees Logan's feelings as pretty dull and bleh, probably because logan is so closed off and stoic, and aggressive... he's unsurprising and uninteresting to wade emotionally.

and mean, and wade doesn't see anything past the surface most of the time. And if you don't treat him well, even though he's a jerk to you, he won't like you.

But logan's feelings have explosive tricks up his sleeve for wade.

So the first thing Wade does to speak to logan's feelings is lie, complimenting them on how beautiful and gorgeous they are, but wade's feelings can't see other peoples feelings. and the first time gambit walks in, he doesn't even talk. so there's nothing to compliment, since he didn't hear him talk.

wade also can't understand gambit, which translates to him not understanding logan's feelings , he constantly needs clarification. and he's very confused.

while his feelings (gambit) yes they attack wade for what he's done but they also quickly calm down, they attack logan for drinking as well. so logan is angry at himself for drinking and not dealing with his pain, but he can't stop himself ALONE.

wade can only HEAR peoples feelings straight forward when they tell him. he can't read vibes and body language, etc. can't see things for what they are.

and logan's just been threatening and yelling at him, at best responding with silence. wade can't process subtle emotions in others, he can barely handle them when they're straight forward. So he sees logan as an aggressive jerk who won't help him, who won't save him. but he needs people to constantly save him and make him feel good.

he doesn't quite understand peoples complexities, or gives a damn to figure them out mmuchhh...

so wade is straight up lying when he says gambit is gorgeous and beautiful. and it's working very easily on gambit he's smitten, but quickly realizes wade is kind of a sociopath jerk. so logan sympathizes , then wade stars wadeing and logan gets mad.

(but the second compliment could be true, since if he understood a little of what gambit was saying he could be complimenting him genuinely, while being frustrated at the same time at them)

then wade starts trying to connect to logan's insides by sharing how he feels in clear words, like how he himself likes being told about other peoples feelings.

and logan's feelings respond very well to straight forward emotions. he immediately gets smitten again ' it's like you're speaking to my soul'

so logan empathizes with wade a lot, immediately after wade's screw up, even though his heart and FANGS, elektra and blade, won't admit it and act tough, his feelings give him away.

wade hearing logan's feelings:

the first time wade really HEARS logan TRULY understanding him and connecting with him was when logan finally speaks up on how he feels and repeats what wade told him and says

"i understand that you didn't mean anything bad by dragging me here and you truly thought my world can be saved too. to your deadpool core i can see that i've been to your core. " it could be that he's just endearing and dumb to logan probably like thats logans pet deadpool he gave up fighting it.

thats the first time wade HEARD/saw logan's feelings. like could have logan just said that...for it to be a nice farwell to a new friend, maybe. but i think he saw those deadpools and he was like they're so simple and...hopeless they can't do anything ill save the planet i guess.

but it could also be, and what i think it is, like once you dig enough to find the well of logan's love you will be rewarded by innocent, pure, strong, magical love. logan could be very innocent in this regard and love very very easily.

his feelings are hard to understand and tricky,

but obviously...wade is a master of love he's been through it all he will trick you in the end and hit you over the head with a fire extinguisher. he hits you over the head with his love its not like.....tricky or hard to understand or hard to find. he's just like i love you dude ill say it straight up to you how i feel. there's nothing to hide behind.

BUT that's only because before that althea(wade's feelings) opened a window to his insides, cussing at the ruckus, wishing she was deaf so that she couldn't hear logan. opening the window to wade's body and his house.

one of wade's senses for love is basically gone, he's extremely mentally unwell so he can't see peoples love, that's gone. but everything else is working well in order.

but anyway, she kept it open so that she could hear more clearly. he opened himself up to hear logan fully and got rewarded for it!

and then he's like, i love this guy ,he simply gets me. because after they save the world, logan doesn't go back to being quiet as before, he processed his feelings and now he is comfortable with wade, he doesn't leave it at 'i understand you'.

he says 'they would be lucky to have you' like not only do i see how you meant well you did really well the like most successful group of heroes on the planet would be lucky to have you. which is the highest compliment. and well kids this is a hint that we'll be able to use later.

ERM LOGAN WILL BE LUCKY TO HAVE HIM~

::: then wade invites logan into himself and logan meets wade's love for the first time(althea). and she goes from angry, distressed, hysteric, BLIND!!! to immediately being calm and happy to meet logan ^v^ ! that's how wade feels!

and wade calls her by a more polite name 'althea' ~

and he moves in with wade..... and logan he keeps trying to run away but wade wwwwwwont let that happen~ because...hes annoying..the end

also gambit aka logan's feelings are free tooo do what ever they want now they're not TRAPPED in a void where they were born in anymore wade got them out together with the rest of logan. out of logans headspace into the free world.

#gambit #text #remy lebeau #deadpool and wolverine #deadpool 3 #wolverine #deadpool #symbolism #movie #film #movie analysis #film analysis #love #feelings #but thats just a theory a gambit theory #THIS TOOK FOREVER JFC sorry for the order of this but ummm i cant anymore

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nadvs · 9 months ago

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ik your list is already overflowing w ideas but the pillowtalk blurb rlly made me think of a toxic relationship fic w rafe (not the fetishizing purely fucking kind but moreso an exploration of how it's like being in love w someone as self-destructive as rafe fshfjsh) i just know u would rlly nail it !!!

no pressure tho ik ur working on a lot of wips (AND UR DOING AMAZING !!!) just needed to get this idea out there hahahahha

၊၊||၊၊||၊၊ open arms / sza

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

i know all this is bad, but who needs self esteem anyway?

At a certain point, it doesn’t even feel like Rafe is breaking your heart; you’re the one doing it to yourself when you expect every explosion of his to be the last.

He never lays a hand on you, but he starts fights out of no where, spiralling into indignation and hostility. If anything, he’s more destructive to himself than he is to your relationship.

He’s spiteful when he’s upset. You know him well enough to recognize he’s not really mad at you most of the time. When he feels like he’s losing his mind, you’re an anchor, calm and kind and gracious, encouraging him to talk about what’s really upsetting him.

When things turn vicious, you don’t always give him the satisfaction of fighting back. The glimpses of his gentle soul are what keep you around. He’s breaks, but you put him back together.

spent your whole life being hopeless, choking on insecurity

You know it’s not all his fault. When Rafe first opened up to you about how his father has dismissed him and told him to man up all his life, anger bubbles inside of you. It’s not fair.

Deep down, Rafe is a sweet boy, and your mind constantly wanders down the path of who he’d be if he was loved growing up. The potential of what he could have been is what’s most painful of all.

He self-sabotages. You can tell. When he’s mean, hurling accusations at you that you don’t even care about him, you can see past it enough to realize he’s trying to ruin his own happiness.

At the end of every conflict, he crumbles into tears, nervously chewing on his thumbnail, trembling, whimpering about not wanting to lose you.

you my favorite color, now you seeing every shade of me / locked in for life, on god, no replacing me

Rafe can’t imagine a world without you.

He’s hard to love. He knows he is. When he acts unreasonably - getting mad over something and fighting with you even when you had nothing to do with it, giving into his anxious thoughts that you’re cheating on him, trying to control you or boss you around - it’s like he’s witnessing himself do it. It’s a horror movie when he watches himself losing it.

You know you can leave. As they say, women are not rehabilitation centres for badly raised men. But it’s work you want to do, because when he lets out his tender side, showering you in hugs and kisses and compliments, smiling so lovingly and brightly in a way that makes the bad times seem like nothing in comparison, you know it’s worth it.

Every time you guide him out of the dark, understanding him better than he understands himself, he thinks about how lost he would be without you. You see it all, every ugly side of him, and you stay. And he would pray to whoever’s listening that you stay forever.

#THANK U SO MUCH FOR SUCH A KIND MESSAGE FIRST OF ALL!!!#def have a lot of wips but i did it to myself hahah 🙂‍↕️#not sure if i could make this a whole fic but i will be brainstorming for you anon #blurb #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron and reader #rafe cameron and you #rafe cameron and y/n

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ebaylee422 · 2 years ago

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Decking the Halls

Steve Harrington X Girlfriend!reader

Author’s Note: Angst to cute sex, I’m not sorry. This is post Season 3, pre Season 4. I just love being angsty. I also really needed to clear my drafts soooo X-mas in March everyone!

Summary: Stockings aren’t the only things being stuffed this Christmas season. Steve has never decorated for Christmas, he’s embarrassed and doesn’t want to ruin your sprit by avoiding you. Don’t worry though, he shows you just how appreciative he is after.

Characters: Steve Harrington, Girlfriend reader, mentions of shitty parents and the rest of the ST nuggets. Best Friend Robin Buckley!!

Warnings/Tags: Smut (Minors DNI!!!) abandonment issues? as an intro, p in v sex, marking kink, praise kink, fem oral (receiving). breeding?

Word Count: 3k

Part One/?

You had tried everything to get Steve into the Christmas spirit: buying decorations for your apartment, getting matching pj’s, going to watch the lights in Indianapolis, watching Christmas movies, the Ice-Skating was most regrettable because you fell forward and knocked your teeth hard enough to bleed. Even planning a white elephant with him and his friends, sharing hot cocoa and warmth of your space heater. What you didn’t know is as soon as he left your place he was greeted by his parents' empty house. Decorated from some stupid trendy catalog his mother only glanced at before swiping a credit card. His father, not even home long enough to realize the tinsel monstrosity within the living room. The presents underneath were fake, they stopped being real when his father told him to grow up. That Santa wasn’t real, saying he needed to start giving instead of hoping for some joy from a fat man each holiday season. So that’s exactly what he did, the first Christmas he’d enjoyed in a long time was on Christmas of 83’, when he was with Nancy. They’d gotten each other meaningful gifts, it was the happiest Christmas he thought he’d ever had. Even if he went home unable to look at his pool outside for too long knowing his friend had died. Even if there were disgusting monsters trying to eat his friends when they had the chance. How horrible humans were in comparison, like the Russians nearly beating him to death at Starcourt. Instead of celebrating what he was thankful for, he felt immense guilt every holiday. He’d confided in you once about his survivor's guilt, as you had called it a couple months ago during an intense flashback. You’d comfort him, make sure he wasn’t alone. He didn’t want to be anyone’s burden, Steve knew you were worried about him it would show whenever he ‘had’ to leave for work or Robin’s, or get clothes from his place.

It all came to a standstill when you’d asked him if he would come pick a Christmas Tree with you. Wanting to have it up before the kids came over, finish decking-the-halls you’d told him. Only Steve didn’t know what picking out a Christmas Tree was, sure it’s self explanatory but what if he made a fool of himself. With his pretty rich boy ‘I’ve never had to pick one out’, it seemed too intimate. Sure you’d bared your body-mind-and-soul to him, but wanting to do something so domestic together like picking out a Christmas Tree. For your first Christmas together as a couple, it was scary for him. So instead of being a Scrooge so he could work on his feelings, he faked an illness even going as far as calling out sick today. Keith hadn’t been too happy but chopped it up to Steve sucking too much face on the job and gave him the day anyway. And he was back to square one, an empty ugly house with none of your warmth. People would think his middle name was self-sabotage, especially when that door-bell rang. He got up from his cocoon from the coach with a groan, an aching shooting up to his spine when his socked feet hit the freezing hardwood. Shined and renewed for the inevitable party his parents would throw this Christmas Eve for work friends, where they forgot they even had a son. He stopped dead in his tracks shaking the sleep from his eyes when they were met with yours, holding a tote bag while shaking the light dusty of snow off your figure. It melted into your skin leaving you shiny with the dew, nose and ears kissed pink while your chin and neck were tucked tightly with the collar of your coat and scarf. You smiled at him as he studied your form, like an angel sent just for him. He was bundled up in simple joggers, thick wool socks and heavy blanket around his shoulders worn like a cape tucked around his body, but shirtless still despite it being nearly as cold inside as it is outside. Shaking your body of the remaining snow, laying the tote bag of groceries and sick necessities you’d brought over on the stairs so you could slide out of your heavy snow covered boots.

“Hi baby, how r’ you feeling?” you asked him with a voice full of sticky sweetness and adoration. His face changed in that moment from shock to guilty, you felt the change floating in the air like oil through water.

“What are you doing here?” He asked louder than either of you had expected, causing you to turn his way fully as you began to undo the ties of your coat.

“I came to check on you, bring you some-”

“Why?” He scoffed, tucking the blanket to cover himself from the breezing air flow of the open hall. You were wearing a red corduroy skirt, with black stocking underneath and a cream sweater that didn’t even compare to how soft your hair was laid across your shoulders. You looked at him like he hung up the stars, even though you were the brightest thing about his life.

“Robin called me worried about you saying you called out because you were sick. So I canceled the tree plans to come check on you because you didn’t call me. I even whipped up some Chicken and Rice soup and scrunched up a couple medicines.”

“You shouldn’t have done that, I’m fine Y/N. You should go get your tree and I’ll see you on Friday like you planned.” he brushed off your kindness,

“Well I wanted to take care of you.” you told him shyly, "You haven't been around as often."

“Okay thanks.” he shook his head, body and tone still uncomfortable and unmatched of your own tenderness.

“Do you not want me here or something?” You scoffed with affection grabbing the bag from the stairs, stepping in front of him giddy with untamable affection.

“No.” He answered quickly and when your face dropped, his own heart went with it when you backed away from him. “No, I mean yes but not right now. I’m just-”

“It’s fine, Steve." You cut him off, turning away and grabbing your stuff. "I get it, I’m sorry I could’ve called.” he stopped you putting out his hand as an olive branch. You took it without hesitation, sniffling away the tears that built up for weeks of you arguing and avoiding each other.

“Don’t you dare apologize, especially to me.” He took your reddened cheeks in his hands as he pressed a kiss to your temple, “I’m just being an idiot, I’m sorry but I’m not even sick so you doing all this nice shit over-”

“I know you’re not sick, Steve. You’re a terrible faker.” You said factually, with a teasing tone. Still not looking at him but rather at your wiggling toes against the shiny floor.

“Oh really now? Robin didn’t tell you anything.”

“Well the strange, ‘Steve wanted my shift the same day he always has off’ the one day I could go tree picking with you. Then calling out and claiming illness, and not calling me is pretty obvious.” You let the bag fall again, his shoulders relaxed as you tugged on the length of his blanket. “Are you breaking up with me?” you asked with furrowed brows and a whimper to your voice.

“No!” Steve yelled, “No never no, I-I love you so much. You are my favorite everything Y/N.” He wrapped you both in the blanket tugging you flush against him. “I just have a hard time with the holidays, I don’t really know what to do with myself. I didn’t want to be embarrassed, it was a lot of pressure.” You both held each other silently letting the fear wash over both of you, until you giggled into his neck.

“I love you, Steve. Honestly, just talking to me would’ve saved us both a headache.” He sighed heavy as he wrapped his arms tighter around you, head resting on your chin.

“Jeez, what are we gonna do with me?” he whispered into your scalp, the fluffy hair on his chest tickling your cheek as you were held by his heart.

“I can think of one.” You pursed your lips, closing your eyes with your chin held high awaiting a kiss. He obliged you immediately, cupping your cheeks in his hands to accurately press his lips to yours. His hands were freezing, sending a shiver and gasp involuntarily out of you. Steve took the opportunity to lick into your mouth, tasting-ly. Pulling back before you could reciprocate, you whined gripping his biceps accidentally pushing off his blanket.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, nose brushing against yours.

"I didn't mean to pressure you, you just seem so sad."

"You make me happy."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you could meet me in an ice cream shop above a secret Russian base. While enjoying strawberry more than chocolate ice cream and you'll still make me happy."

"Well, if our circumstances of meeting are the worst part of the relationship, I think that's a pretty good incentive to making better more normal memories, yeah?"

"Maybe." He kissed the tip of your still pink nose.

"Maybe, we could go back to my place? It's always freezing here." You added with a shiver making the hairs on your arms stand up.

"Not when you're here. Just stay here a second longer." His lips moved with their own incentive. It didn't take much convincing on either of your parts before you were upstairs in his room. A path of clothes thrown haphazardly off of each other through broken giggles and soft kisses, until your just in under clothes. He holds you to him as he opens the door to his room, and your feet barely touch the floor as he twirls the two of you around. Bringing you down with him as he falls backward on the bed with a thud. Kissing you with fondness, sweet like the honey color of his eyes. You loved him so much it hurt like the side pains after laughing so hard you teared up. Like when you realize that magic might not be real but people were and kindness. Kindness and compassion were the real magic. People found a reason to be with each other, even if it was once a year. Steve never had that. Everything in his life was transactional, Christmas, school, his parents, most other relationships. Those few closet to him probably haven't ever seen this side either. The checkered boy room with little to no traces of living aside from Steve's nightstand with Polaroids of everyone scattered about. A bin in his closet kept hidden away where he'd kept his Scoops Ahoy name tag, a letter from a pen-pal in sixth grade, ticket stubs of every drive in movie. Some more Polaroids for his eyes only you'd given him after you first started dating, and he'd left his shirt in your room. Even as you lay on top of him now, kisses sucked into your neck, his strong hands massaging your sides in worship. You couldn't help what words came out next.

"Come with me." You begged him breathlessly opening your eyes to see his lips swollen and slick, hair haloed and shaggy around his face and sheets. Like melting caramel against the ugly grey and navy bedding.

"Already babe, I haven't even touched you." He mumbled rocking his pelvis into yours, forcing your legs to accommodate him more with a thigh on either side of his hips. You sat up taller straddling him, a pout etched into your face.

"No, I mean. Come home with me, lets live together. I'll get rid of things you can bring whatever you want, I can dip into my tuition nest egg and buy whatever we need for the apartment. Make it yours too, or we can find another one that you like better. I just want you all to myself." He sat up holding onto your waist so you didn't fall, making you squeak with the shift in position. Your heart sank as his eyes were so wide they could've jumped out of his skull.

“What?” he asked as his breath caught in his throat, a pure swell of undoubtable happiness warming him from the tip of his nose down to his sock covered feet.

“It’s just, I wasn’t lying Stevie. I wanna take care of you, you give so much to every-” He kissed you, desperately. Teeth clashing and tongues forming together making you dizzy enough to loose balance upright on your knees. Pulling back to gasp for air, a string of spit connecting you to him. He wiped it away, tucking his head into your chest.

“You’re perfect. I’ll do anything to make you happy.”

“Even picking out a Christmas Tree with me?”

“I will grow you a damn Christmas Tree, even better I’ll get the kids to help me chop down one in my backyard!”

“Stevie! That’s dangerous.”

“Well, sweets.

Danger.

Is.

My middle name.” He trailed four kisses down your body, stopping just shy of your covered mound. Hooking his fingers under the band of your underwear, biting your hip making you buck up long enough for him to shimmy them off your legs.

“I thought your middle name was Alexander?”

“You won’t your own name once I’m done with you.” He said sultry, kneeling at the foot of the bed. Yanking your ankles to bring you closer to his mouth, spreading your legs wide and over his shoulders. You were beautiful, regardless what you were doing but letting him take care of you. Make you feel good and be vulnerable, made his head spin. Your lips were sticky with arousal, he could smell your sweet nectar begging for him to taste you. Marks still slightly visible from last time, he started there sucking and biting the mailable flesh.

“Stevie, please-” You cried out, hands trying to find purchase with his. He stopped sucking a bruise, eyes blown wide when he found yours. Locking your hands to your sides,

“Your so sweet, baby. Asking so nicely.” He chastely kissed on your hood, tongue licking underneath to wet and flick at your clit. You groaned and threw you head back, “So sweet, baby. Keep your legs open for me. I have a lot of apologizing to do down here.”

“Stevie, no I want you. Please.” You writhed on the bed trying to keep your legs spread for him, he blew cool air at your entrance causing you to clench around nothing. You body craved to be filled, senses overwhelmed of one thing: Steve, Steve, Steve!

“Just wanna warm you up, we have all the time in the world sweets. Wanna wreck this bed before leaving.” He was antagonizing you, teasing with his pretty words and slightly movements you couldn’t even respond him. He licked a line from your entrance to your clit, groaning at your taste. Hips colliding with the end of his bed to relieve pressure as he sucked your clit into his mouth. Rolling the bud with his tongue, your nail dug into his knuckles as you shook with ecstasy.

“ ‘S so good, Stevie. Don’t stop-” You were so pent up from earlier all it took was a few more rolls of his tongue against you and for you to fall apart. Concentrating on keeping your legs open for him, as he licked you clean. Nudging his nose against your sensitive clit, he let go of one of your hands tangling it in his hair.

“Hold it out of my face, baby. I want one more before I cum inside you.” He coated his fingers with your release, slowly sliding in one as his tongue still fucked into you. You couldn’t help rocking your hips against his face when he added another finger inside you. Scissoring, stretching you and rubbing against your spongy spot. You tugged at his locks when he came back up to suck at your clit again, you didn’t even notice the heat break in your belly until you gushed and clenched around his fingers. You pushed at his forehead from sensitivity, barely able to catch your breath when you pulled him up to kiss you. lips and chins dripping of you. Trailing your nails down his soft tummy following the happy trail underneath his boxers, you met him halfway stroking his thick cock with your slick. Still coating his hand, pre-cum dripping from his tip making the sounds completely pornographic.

“ ‘m not gonna last baby, want you so bad.” He whispered against your lips, breathing heavy with a sheen of sweat layering you both in the smell of sex.

“Need you too, wanted you ages ago.” You sassed, making him laugh against your cheek as he stood. You wrapped your legs around his waist, his cock twitched when it brushed against the inside of your thigh.

“You gotta big mouth on you, sweet girl.”

“You better do something about it, Harrington.” With a roguish grin he ran his length over your clit once before pushing ever so slightly inside. Taking your breaths away, you were the girl and only girl who could take Steve’s fat cock completely. He just has to ease you into it, inch by inch until his hip bone grazed the back of your thighs. Steve stood tall and far enough away you couldn’t kiss him from where you were sprawled out under him. You pulled and squeezed at your breasts still contained by your bra. His cock glistening with your slick as he pulled his hips back, then pushing deeper inside his sack pressed tight against your ass. Steve nearly loss his balance when you clenched around him, putting his hands under your knees. Folding you in half made it feel like he was in your throat, he leaned over you the pressure of his body as he set a ruthless pace set flames in your abdomen. Pounding his cock into you over and over again moaning out praises as he bullied all the way to your cervix. Punching breaths out of you watching as your tits bounced, you had enough pulling him fully on top you. Hands indenting his shoulders as your hips met his, clit pulsing and with need.

“You feel so good. Shit, shit- I’m cumming, cumming inside.” Steve’s core tighten as he ran two finger over your clit, heat erupted across your body. You milked Steve dry, his warm seed and your three orgasms dripping from each others groin. You pulled him on top of you, comforted by his weight on you as his cock softened inside you.

“Do you really want too?” You asked in the post orgasm bliss, running a hair through his now tangled locks. “I don’t want to trap you with amazing sex and joy but it’s definitely a perk.” Steve rose onto his elbows, still seated inside you. Brushing the hair out of your face, with softness.

“I’m sure we can wreck this bed a lot more than just cum stains.” Pushing at his chest, he pulled out of you gently. Scurrying to his bathroom where you listened as he turned on the faucet in the shower. Sitting up, he came back with all his glory. Hand raised for you to take, the same olive branch you’d given him at Starcourt. All this time. “I can’t wait to spend Christmas in our home, together.”

You’d never been so excited to spend the holidays with anyone else.

Masterlist

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things season 3 #oneshot #no minors allowed #reader insert #tis the season #holiday themed

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lullabyalikpoptarot · 20 days ago

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Hueningkai Perspective Reading

Disclaimer: You know what this means, all alleged here, just my interpretation of the cards and messages I get. Topics here are pretty sensitive in this one.

Now time for the final member of TXT. The maknae of the group. From what I intuitively got from his him is that he does have a bubbly cute nature, but felt it was a bit exaggerated and that he has a more intense, serious side to him. I say as an idol he seems to highlight that bubbly nature. I will say I feel this energy from his Dad, so wonder if he got that from him. I also think this boy is a lot more savage than people think or see. The song that came to me was Panic! at the Disco's This is Gospel. I believe he is a fan of them, because a couple of their songs popped up. I am not sure how this song fits, but I can see him wanting to do or create songs like this. Now let's take a look at the cards and messages I can get from it.

I don't like where this is taking me ugh I don't want to say this, but can't really not say this, all alleged. This is rough. I am seeing possible physical abuse here. So, the first card is atonement and every time I look at this card. I get the message battered and bruised, now this could mean emotional or just being physically exhausted coupled with the anger and chains card. I just see it as someone getting aggressive and causing harm. Now, I can also see this as him self-sabotaging himself and creating problems with anger issues he may have. But the first thing I thought was possible abuse. This is such a sensitive topic, not sure why he/they are showing me this, like you want this out there?

Now, this next card can indicate that he may ignite chaos or create it, or he seems to have a lot of anger within him. Or he may feel like he is the problem and creating what is happening as victims tend to do. This abuse could have created a lot of anger within him and has made him bitter and angry. I see him not able to cope or deal with his emotions either, due to the fact that he may have grown in an environment where they didn't either. You learn from your elders.

He seems pretty empty, drained. There is a lack of identity with him, could be a shell of himself. There is a shallowness to him, which could make sense if he dealt with what I am interpreting here. He is kind of like an empty vessel from this card. There is this desire and need to latch on things to gain some sort of pleasure and excitement, because he just doesn't seem to have anything within himself. There is a void in him. He may not be able to feel without some external source giving him some sort of feeling. He's kind of lost himself. It is like he always seeks more and more, nothing ever satiating him, because he lacks joy and happiness within himself, so he seeks outside sources to find that, but he will never find it looking outside of himself.

Even though this all seems sad, I feel no sadness, nothing. His energy is very numb to it all. It is like he was stripped of his humanity. That sounds so intense, but yeah. It is like he may have no identity, and he is what others want him to be, remember I have mentioned that I kept seeing a strict authoritative figure around him, so this makes sense now.

There seems to be addictions he may have, due to this need to seek external pleasure and joy, so this makes sense. There could also be attachments he should work on breaking away from. We are attached to things, because it brings us comfort, but it doesn't mean it is good for us, this could do with people in his life as well. They are telling him he should work on grounding himself. This is hard to do for someone who needs an outlet to escape it seems. It may be hard for him to face his demons or what has allegedly been done to him.

His essential needs may have never been attended to. He seems to not have had a stable childhood, so it can be very hard for him to ground and stabilize himself, would he know what stability is? The image on the card speaks to me, this person is on a cross like Jesus was, and all I can think of is how he was sacrificed, beaten and treated like crap. This goes along with what I mentioned earlier. I don't know what is wrong with his back, but my back is hurting right now, so not sure what that is about, he may deal with back pains at the moment. And maybe what he has been through has manifested in back issues.

Okay, need to go to my conscious healing deck, he needs this deck pulled. So, I see him trying to self-sooth and comfort himself, or this is what he needs to do. There is this unwillingness to forgive himself, or can I say inability. I see him blaming himself for what has happened, trying to figure out what went wrong. Okay, this part is kind of making me sad. This is a time for him to incorporate healing into his life, maybe practice the art of meditation and allowing his guides to help him on his healing journey, now would he be able to do this?, who knows. He may struggle to see the fruits of his labor and the struggle he has been through is coming to fruition, slowly but surely it is happening. He tends to be a bit inpatient about his goals, but improvements will happen when he allows things to grow bit by bit. He may not see the results yet, but they are coming for him. His guides are calling to him to have faith. Maybe he grew up in an environment where results needed to be quick.

I see him being highly protected and guarded by his spirt team at the moment. I felt that with the last deck of cards but kept it to myself. Like they want to show they have his back and surround him at all times, maybe they are giving him guidance, whether he knows it is from them or not, so that is nice. He's got to work on healing the heart and communicating from the heart or just connecting from his heart center. There is an abundance of wealth and opportunity and also positive energy that he can tap into if he opens himself up to it.

Rather than focusing on what he lacks, he could look at the golden opportunities that lie before him. He could work on not letting the past keep him stuck. There is an opportunity to healing and growth for him. He has to start with obtaining his self-worth and understanding his value, which may have been stripped from him, but he can always gain it back and reclaim his power back. He may be doing so at the moment.

He has strong manifesting capabilities and is a creator in his own right. He should use his skills to achieve whatever he wants and also find the confidence to believe that he has a plethora of skills that can benefit him on his healing journey and to life he wants. He just has to believe in himself. He is also showing me he prefers to be alone and deal with things on his own. I don't see him being open about his struggle. He keeps that to himself. His alone time is when he can find true peace and maybe discover a bit about himself, but not sure if he is able to face what has been done to him, or maybe he has learned to face it and overcome it. He is very smart and knowledgeable, and he tries to use that to his benefit to move through life. He should use his intellect and clear thinking to get him through any difficulties or stuck patterns he may fall into. He has wisdom and his intuition on his side.

So, he is showing me once again, he needs the thrill, the excitement, the next chase. He goes from one thing to another. A desire to escape himself. He is showing a sense of emotional numbness, boredom, a bit of discontent with life. A sense that nothing still satisfies him, even if he seeks things or achieves things. Even with all that he tries to be happy, keep up the good vibes. He seems to be in a good environment now. Not sure if this authoritative figure is in his presence now. But this shows me things are good for him now and that he is feels safe and comfortable. I do feel this authoritative figure around his energy when I read for him, but it could be energetically and not with him in the physical.

Okay, that was wild. Take this with a grain of salt, just going with what I get. I hope I am far off here and he didn't have to deal with that, but at the end of the day we may never know. This is what he gave me. Healing vibes for Hueningkai ya'll.

#kpop tarot #txt tarot #hueningkai tarot

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sun-undone · 3 months ago

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“got so much to lose, got so much to prove, god don’t let me lose my mind”

i’m emo about jj maybank today so i’m gonna ramble for a bit about how i think these lyrics from trouble by cage the elephant are the most jj lyrics i’ve ever heard, ESPECIALLY in light of season 4 part 1.

for the first time in his life, jj really has so fucking much to lose. he and his friends (family) have built themselves a new safe haven on the very land where jj was raised to believe he deserved nothing of the sort. he’s dating his dream girl, and she loves him. he has stability and success for the first time ever.

got so much to lose.

but how does the boy who was told he was a worthless piece of shit process all of this positive upward change in his life? how can he possibly reconcile the unconditional love that the pogues constantly show him with the self hatred that’s been beaten into him? by overcompensating.

HE is the one who takes the reins at the auction to buy back the maybank property. HE is the one to gamble the last of their gold to try to get them back on their feet. HE is the one close to tears desperately trying to defend himself like we’ve seen him do several times throughout the series when a plan of his goes awry. “see me, see how hard i’m trying to deserve your love, see how much i think i don’t deserve it.”

got so much to prove.

jj really does have this seemingly bottomless well of desperation within him to prove to the pogues that he deserves to be kept around, which manifests in his plots and schemes and gambles that range from over the top to straight up manic at times. but at the same time, he also has this equally seemingly bottomless well of self hatred that manifests in his self sabotage. his desire to be loved and his insistence that he doesn’t deserve it are constantly battling for dominance within him, and the chaos of that never-ending push and pull is (in my opinion at least) the very essence of jj as a character.

and of course, the tragedy of it all is that he already has the love he craves so desperately. he’s clawing up at something that’s in the palm of his hands. he hopes the pogues understand what he can’t express with words, and they do, but he also knows that one day, that won’t be enough, and they’ll realize what he’s known from the very beginning.

god don’t let me lose my mind.

#this is kinda stupid but i’m just thinking a lot about him today #obx #jj maybank

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sanderssidesthehouse · 5 months ago

Note

For the character bingo, could you do Roman?

Absolutely!

Circle sizes represent my confidence in marking them.

I unfortunately don't have it anymore bc a few years back I deleted my sasi blog like a fool bc I thought I wouldn't need it, but one of the first things I said when Remus was introduced was how Roman suddenly made so much more sense. As someone with both younger and older siblings, it was a moment of clarity. He just acts like someone with a sibling. Idk if this point really clarifies anything, but it was something that made me like him more.

I need my bb boy to get out of his people pleasing era. I'm just going to go ahead and quote my unreliable narrators post bc it's relevant (sorry I keep doing this, I just happen to be right about stuff in that post):

Roman does that thing that Patton does where he tries to be what everyone wants him to be but like… to an even more extreme degree. Where Patton pushes his emotions down and sometimes tries to seem like he knows more than he does bc he feels like he’s supposed to, Roman literally will be thinking and feeling one thing but do the exact opposite and will self sabotage to an extreme degree. He WANTED to go to that call back. (...) He agreed with Janus but felt like he was supposed to agree with Patton so despite it making him miserable in every possible way, he did what he thought he had to to make sure Patton still loved him. Roman is devastatingly tragic (...) All this to say that you can’t judge what he’s thinking and feeling by what he says and does.

I do think it's so interesting how Roman really liked Deceit when he first popped up (bc Janus was playing to Roman's role as the Ego) and really only didn't like that he was pretending to be other people, a betrayal of trust, and doesn't really have a problem with Janus until after he declares they won't be going to the call back. He is literally trying so hard ALL OF THE TIME. And he must still feel like he can't do anything right.

Roman is so crunchy to me bc he has an excess of fatal flaws and non current internal way to balance them out. He doesn't trust himself to the point that he outsourced his views on right and wrong. A loyal knight marking a fallible side's word as absolute, and in his pursuit of what is just, he's fallen on his own sword only to see what he thought was wrong embraced by his lord as he bleeds out. This is a tragedy. Someone please help him.

Part of the reason he doesn't trust himself like that, is bc he's just not confident in himself at all. There are certain things he can do and knows he can do well. But being confident in a handful of abilities doesn't make you confident in yourself. He is so scared of being cast out (like what happened last we saw) and it makes him second guess himself. If he messes up, then he'll be the one staring down the sword instead of holding it. That's what he believes anyway. We can all know that's not true, but it doesn't change his deep seated fear. He HAS to be the hero. Without that, he has nothing.

I also think his insecurities play well with Remus's just existence. That could have been Roman cast aside. Still could be. What if he wasn't good like they thought? What if his good wasn't good enough? They've set an unfortunate precedent of tossing 'unsavory' parts into the abyss, and Roman can feel the breeze coming up from where he stands at the precipice. Even the slightest misstep will send him tumbling down.

Right so, I'd apologize about the Roman angst, but I'm not sorry. As always, anyone and everyone is encouraged to add on with their two cents!

#sanders sides #roman sanders #siding ask #rllybadfanfic character bingo

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sparklepoint · 1 year ago

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hey i saw stuff about ur asau (hermit!yusuke is perfect and kitteh ann is the fluffiest little baby and i love her) and i just wanted to ask if you have the other arcanas planned? is it a direct one to one swap or is it different?

omg. ty for giving us a chance to introduce

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ card shuffle ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

@floodbender’s and mine roleswap au in which the story roles are remixed based on randomly reassigned arcanas + canon backgrounds

it’s kind of a work in progress so this is not q definitive & some arcs are less developed than others, but we do in fact have something planned for everyone :3c let's meet the cast!!

starting with <3 bitter bitch besties <3

○ the fool – akechi

he has pretty much the same backstory as canon, but without Metaverse access; therefore his only outlet has been trying to prove himself academically etc. to show them all

it isn’t really working. even with all the effort, he still gets written off automatically most of the time

there is no arrest/probation/anything out of the ordinary that brings him to staying with Sojiro and going to Shujin, just a last minute arrangement by his previous foster placement

Akechi POV: you’ve been booted from a family who didn’t want you there for the n-th time in your life and are now moving to stay with some rando who doesn’t want you there either. and everyone at the new school immediately labels you a troublemaker with a problematic background

(of course Shujin is going to make up rumors regardless)

personality-wise, it is as you might expect from a no powers AU Akechi - at the start he’s a bitter, cynical bastard masking behind his Pleasant Boy mode

would have eventually snapped in some self-destructive way if he didn’t meet someone who gets it

rest of the story is spent rehabilitating this man with the power of friendship, mutual understanding, and insane romance. and flufy kity

akechi and makoto: the world is a cruel and unjust place. *minutes later* omg lady ann!!!

i. the magician – ann

flufy kity

backstory inherent to the arcana role

she does not have hang ups about not being human specifically and embraces cathood quite well

instead her issues stem from feelings of comparative inadequacy and not knowing what her role in life and on the team is supposed to be, especially after the PTs get a dedicated navigator

similar to her canon arc, she does mostly handle these feelings by focusing on trying harder & with more purpose rather than growing resentful

when Morgana coined the ‘Lady Ann’ nickname it stuck and now everyone calls her that

still has a widdle crush on Shiho

the only reason Akechi has any side confidants

vii. the chariot – makoto

Makoto handles pressure from Sae far worse in this one

attempted to investigate and expose Kamoshida’s behavior on her own last year and got kicked off the student council for her trouble

grades are suddenly hard to keep up even though she’s putting in the same amount of effort if not more. keeps being left ‘accidentally’ out of the loop about important info. school just kind of making it clear it doesn’t like her anymore

entire social circle crumbled and no support from Sae who at this point is simply mad at her for ‘sabotaging herself for childish reasons’

would have eventually snapped in some self-destructive way if she didn’t meet someone who gets it

disillusioned, desperately lonely, and stewing in a lot of suppressed rage

in light of this it’s not surprising that she and Akechi end up bonding pretty much right away in spite of his typically raised hackles

used to be friends with Haru in middle school

vi. the lovers – haru

while Okumura still has a Palace, his behaviour towards Haru is more distant and less outright abusive, and she does not have an engagement hanging over her

instead Kamoshida creeps on her, fixated on adding a demure chaebol princess to his conquests

Haru’s having trouble rebuffing him as she has issues setting down boundaries with men in general due to her proper upbringing, and is of course scared of his position of authority

in particular, the rooftop garden becomes a hazard for being cornered instead of a sanctuary;

(fortunately it is also a prime place to be overheard by anyone who's heading up there for definitely not a teen vigilante meeting)

Kamoshida lets out that Haru is the Okumura Foods heiress, which makes her seem like a stuck-up rich princess to the Shujin rumor mill and leaves her ostracized

with regards to Makoto: in Shujin Kamoshida Issues forced them to drift apart, and now, even though both of them want to reignite the middle school friendship, each is reluctant to involve the other in her own respective mess via association

(pictured: childhood friend matching bwacelets)

after that is sorted, they reconnect and begin a prolonged awkward romance dance

(meanwhile the rumor mill is busy debating which one of them is dating Akechi)

iv. the emperor – joker ren akira

legal name, under which he is mildly famous, is Ren Amamiya, actual name he goes by is Akira

for these claiming your chosen identity reasons, his codename is Daybreak :)

his parents are both in the entertainment industry, and the second Palace belongs to his father

Dad Amamiya is a formerly acclaimed, currently washed-up movie director. a nightmare to work with who uses his old connections to run people he doesn’t like out of the industry and ruin their careers

his wife is aware of his transgressions but is too attached to the lifestyle to care

to Akira’s parents, he is more or less a prop in their public performance as a happy picture-perfect celebrity couple; in his father’s Palace, his cognition is played by an actor

he had long since learned that going against his parents achieves nothing, and has been going through the motions keeping his head down until he meets the team

the meeting is a chance encounter prompted by Emperor-typical overwhelming fascination with Ann, which in his case is because he’s That Much Of A Cat Person

rest of his arc is about separating himself from his parents’ legacy as somebody who still wishes to pursue a career in entertainment

ii. the high priestess – morgana

he has Ann’s parents and last name since she doesn’t need them anymore

unlike her, he doesn’t handle their constant absence well and is therefore desperate for the Thieves’ companionship (while being just as tsundere about it in human form as he is in canon)

he kickstarts the Kaneshiro plot despite not being on the student council: since he is a very special smart boy, he can absolutely solve Shujin’s mafia crisis all by himself!

(it is probably rather obvious how well this goes)

his arc is a more mundane version of his canon one about recalibrating the self-worth issues and loneliness until he can be comfortable with himself and his place in the group

his awkward crush here is converted into being an even bigger Ann Stan than the rest of them

still besties with Akira. also perpetual ninth wheel

ix. the hermit – yusuke

Madarame does not have a Palace

without the international recognition from stealing Kitagawa-san’s masterwork he has to subsist on smaller-time forgery and predatory contracts and the like

his main victim is Yusuke’s mom, who lived long enough to start actually raising her son, but her poor health made her the perfect exploitable dependant

after she succumbs to her illness, Madarame proceeds to take his frustrations over losing the convenient setup out on Yusuke in his typical insidious way

over the subsequent years trapped in an abusive living situation you’re told to be grateful for, the comments about how she would have lived longer and created masterpieces if she didn’t have to take care of you accumulate to create the most depressed teenage boy in the world

as far as Madarame’s concerned, if Yusuke’s too miserable to keep up with his schoolwork, it’s just another instance of him being a drain on everyone in his life. Madarame’s not going to cater to him and pay for his scholarship – he can just stay in and keep house, if that’s all he’s good for

that leaves Yusuke just listlessly haunting the place, convinced that all he can really do with his life is wait to die and go to hell for the sin of being himself: he sees his life with Madarame as perpetual penitence for his mother’s death, his work as almost ritual sacrifices to appease him, and the shack as his purgatory [--beginning navigation]

his Palace is stylistically themed after the Shinto Yomi with more general underworld theming as well; cognitive Madarame is of course the final boss, although he only drops the benevolent underworld guide pretence once thoroughly provoked

the gang finds out about All This after a series of Mementos requests from Madarame’s latest underpaid helper

post change of heart we’re getting Yusuke the fuuuck out of there

Sojiro ends up taking him in, first temporarily and then permanently

neither of us has the vocabulary to concisely explain the respective holes in their heads this Yusuke and this Akechi have about each other

team navigator. please take a moment to imagine yusukespeak navigator lines

iii. the empress – sumire

the Okumura setup is still happening (sorry Haru), but the PTs recognize it as bait and stay away, instead ending up doing a different palace entirely

the Palace Ruler for this arc is the Yoshizawas’ abusive coach (not the one from Sumire’s confidant)

a classic unethical teen sports situation with disproportionate pressure and a concerning disregard of their physical and mental wellbeing as long as they Get Results tm

neither of the sisters is good at standing up for herself, which in Kasumi’s case spirals into continuous self-denial for the sake of The Sport and in Sumire’s exacerbates her feelings of inadequacy

at the moment Kasumi is being pushed to compete despite an injury which would put her out of commission, which is the deadline/reasoning to deal with this ASAP

the palace theme is Colosseum/gladiatorial arena, with the implication of entertainment of the masses at the expense of the athletes’ lives

(pictured gladiator!cogsumi)

xi. justice – ryuji

Ryuji is the one to get slapped with the arrest record courtesy of Shido in this one

the consequences for a 14yo on scholarship and with no support system outside of his mom (except he just feels guilty about creating problems for her) are predictably devastating

he winds up at Shido’s Palace afterwards by accident while loitering around the Diet building, which is where his awakening happens

he’s spotted entering or exiting the Metaverse, which leads to Shido making him the job offer he cannot refuse

initially framed as “help with secret research” in exchange for erasing his record and bankrolling opportunities for a sports career, but it’s not like there are any easy ways out once the requests starts getting seedier

he’s just the Metaverse assassin/errand boy for the conspiracy, no astroturfed public persona

to an extent Ryuji convinces himself this is for the best since many of his targets do very much have it coming and it’s AN outlet for letting out some steam over the bleak as shit view of society he now has, but ultimately this arrangement and all the murder involved make him utterly miserable, and on a level he understands this is not going to end well for him

gives himself away to the Phantom Thieves early and in the dumbest way possible

for all the above reasons, he’s not at all hard to persuade to switch sides and start double-agenting

did you guess who’s faith no you didn’t

○ faith – hifumi

we just really like hifumi so she’s included

at first her deal is a toned down version of her canon arc, with her mom pushing her towards an idol-like career based off of shogi. then her father actually dies

mom’s grief response is to lean in further into building her career, thinking that this is what her dad would have wanted; Hifumi’s own grief response is to start crumbling under that pressure until “I wish I could just be the person my mother wants to see” is the prevailing sentiment

this is where Maruki’s unethical therapy comes in and actualizes her into the perfect teenage celebrity personality

thirdsem Hifumi is terrified she will never be enough as herself and it takes the team effort to get her to let go of the idol persona, but conveniently there are SO many people with parent issues here to talk to her about it .

bonus: xvii. the star – futaba

Wakaba survives the assassination attempt, but is left unable to continue her scientific work, igniting Futaba’s interest in researching the topic herself

her confidant’s Mementos quest block is still her uncle, who is not as horrifically abusive, but treats them poorly and demands Futaba reimburses him for taking care of them financially

Sojiro is still a pseudo-parental figure in her life, but his role is limited since he cannot insert himself into the situation without permission and Futaba conceals the extent of it from him

she becomes available as a confidant during Yusuke’s arc, which still overlaps with the Medjed crisis

her fixation with cognitive pscience leads to digging into the Phantom Thieves leads to offering to deal with Medjed for them – but only if they prove themselves to her by sorting out a specific request that hit a little close to home. cue Yusuke arc

from then on she’s their tech guy

and that's everyone ✧∘* thank you so much for expressing interest and thank you @floodbender for cowriting this post with me ♡

#sorry for the long wait!! this needed time to cook...#someone please come read about our baby darling au i'm obsessed with it #persona 5 #auverse #card shuffle #<-- tag for more on that! although there isn't really much as of rn

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beanghostprincess · 1 year ago

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Situation: Sanji disobeyed an order from his captain bc he heard a woman’s cry for help and rushed into a trap. Everyone has to go save him bc he’d been knocked out until all is over and they are back on the sunny.

Sanji wakes up and feels miserable for the mistake he did. He’s avoiding everyone and hiding in the kitchen ( the others don’t know yet he’s awake ).

The one to find him there first is Zoro.

And Sanji thinks he’ll get some sort of punishment. Zoro is the one on the ship upholding hierarchy, after all, like he did with Usopp in W7 but Zoro just sits down and waits.

Sanji: So, what will be my punishment?

Zoro:

Sanji: I disobeyed my captain, I know that.

Zoro:

Sanji: But I can’t hold back when I hear a woman in need.

Zoro: We know.

Sanji:

Zoro: Unlike you, I listen to my captain. He said you already feel bad enough about the situation.

Sanji: I do.

Zoro: No punishment, because you already beat up yourself enough about this already.

Sanji: And you can hold yourself back on that, Mosshead?

But Zoro doesn’t respond with an insult. His punishment for Sanji is to not bicker with him. He’s not worth bickering with right now.

And that hits Sanji hard on top of everything else.

This actually fucks me up so bad every time. Because Sanji's need to protect women and refuse to hurt them isn't something he can control. If it was a selfish act because he looks for approval in them or conscious behavior, I'd be complaining too, but he can't help it. It hurts me so bad. And I think it hurts him even more because he genuinely can't do anything about it. He's aware that some girls are evil and some of his decisions regarding women will affect him negatively, but somehow ignoring them ends up haunting him even more than the consequences of his actions after falling into one of their traps. It's so fucked up. We know it's because he follows Zeff's words because that's how his father raised him, but if you add a layer of "his mom and sister were the only ones to help him at a very early age and men have always been the core problem in his life and toxic masculinity torments him while the presence of a woman is extremely comforting" then it hurts even more.

The fact that Zoro doesn't fight him as a punishment is great, and that makes things worse because Sanji could use fighting as self-sabotage too and to punish himself and Zoro isn't letting him do that either. So he can't do anything, quite literally, and he is just left alone to think about what happened. And I!!!!!!! Can't do this!!!!!!! Somebody hug him!!!!!!!! Robin should be the one comforting him. Because I know he acts recklessly when a woman is around and, even if it's not technically his fault and he can't help it, it affects the crew too. But c'mon. A little bit of empathy for the boy at least. I think Robin would be perfect for comforting him (she's mother she be mothering).

#did you all suddenly agree on sending me angsty asks or what #not that i am complaining but damn #this is great btw you broke my heart #one piece #black leg sanji #roronoa zoro

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farfromstrange · 2 years ago

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The way Matt displays some symptoms of Borderline personality disorder makes me wonder if there’s actually some undiagnosed personality disorder hiding in his brain.

Fear of abandonment, unstable relationships (that he’s at fault for because he pushes people away in an attempt to protect them), explosive anger paired with mood swings, struggling with self-image (that man constantly questions who he is), self-destructive behavior and self-harm (it displays in the way he sabotages his relationships and jumps head-first into danger. He’s abusing alcohol regularly because he’s “had a bad day” and the way he’s getting himself beat in S3 just for the thrill of it borders on serious self-harm tendencies), and his constant suspicions keep him detached from reality (I believe his senses make it easier for him to actually SENSE danger, but he also sometimes sees it when there is none just because he’s been taught to always be vigilant and risk his life if need be). I can’t say if he’s feeling empty, I just remember he said he felt hollow when Elektra almost died, but the way he’s living his life on the edge all the fucking time tells me he’s just trying to feel something, and the sadness he displays and how lost he sounded when he told Karen that he can’t do this alone… yeah, that man is broken inside, barely holding on and extremely mentally unstable.

Matthew has trauma and I’m pretty sure his need to self-destruct stems from a serious high-functioning depression he refuses to address or get help with because “he’s fine, he doesn’t need therapy”, and that is all caused by the trauma of the accident, his dad dying and then what Stick did with him. He thinks asking for help is weakness and he doesn’t want to hurt the people he cares about, which he does though with the way he treats himself and drives a wedge between them because he’s so scared of losing them that he pushes them away in an attempt to shield himself, and it’s a spiral that just keeps on going down and he can’t get out of it. A mouse on a wheel that can’t escape, almost. He knows he needs help, maybe it’s his father’s voice in his head, but he can’t take it because he feels responsible. He feels responsible for everything bad in the world and wants to change it, but he can’t fix everything so he constantly beats himself up for it (and gets beaten). Like I stated above, his need to self-destruct is greater than self-preservation – he protects his heart by pushing people away, but doesn’t want to lose them either, so he either holds on too tight or not at all. Unstable relationships, as mentioned above.

It all leads back to the trauma Stick inflicted on him. So I’m slightly torn about the BPD suspicions because he’s only started displaying those symptoms after his dad died and Stick started training him. He twisted all of Matt’s views, and even though he’s trying hard to fight what he put in his head, Stick is always whispering in his ear and it makes him sabotage everything around him for what he thinks is right. While he displays personality disorder symptoms, serious ones at that, it might just be a trauma response, or perhaps he inherited something from his mother after all and he’s had the genetic predisposition since he was born. Mental illness is hereditary, after all. Not always, but if your parents are sick, the likelihood that you will get sick too is extremely high because your brain has a serious hormonal imbalance from the beginning.

I understand where Matt comes from, but I just wish my boy would go about this differently. He has friends, he needs to let them be a part of his life. And he realizes that at the end of S3 after Foggy swore to hold on to him, not leave like everyone else did, and that’s twisted on his part because Matt hurt him and he had every right to leave, but he doesn’t and Matt eventually realizes that he’s not alone. But he still needs to work through his issues and all the trauma inflicted on him ever since he could think.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

#matt murdock #character study #daredevil #human disaster matt murdock #sorry for the rant #matt murdock imagines #matt murdock angst #matt murdock x reader

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linkspooky · 2 years ago

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Choujin X, Chapter 39: As You Sleep

Holy character development Batman! We are in this latest chapter seeing the results of Tokio’s year of training and learning to be more independent, not only in just questioning the established authority around him but actually taking responsibility for himself in the investigations. On the other side it seems like Azuma is stagnating or at least not progressing as fast as he wants to which is causing a rift between him and Tokio once again. More on my two favorite boys underneath the cut:

While Tokio seems to have improved by leaps and bounds, I don’t believe this is as shocking of a change in his personality as it seems to be. In the first volume extras there was a character profile for both Tokio and Azuma, where it mentiosn that Tokio despite not seeing himself as smart or talented was able to get into the same high school as Azuma just by studying hard for it.

Tokio always had the potential to be just as smart of Azuma, but often self-sabotaged and gave up too quickly because he didn’t believe in himself. This is also something Azuma observes in his own flashbacks of Tokio and resents him for.

While Tokio’s self sabotage and failing to live up to his potential just comes from regular old lack of self confidence, Azuma has secretly harbored a fear that Tokio thought he was better than Azuma from the beginning and only pretended to be weak around him because he was looking down on him.

While it reeks of Azuma’s own insecurity, it is at times understandable why he’d feel that way, Tokio is naturally talented and capable and for a long time doesn’t make use of those talents and when it seems he finally does he starts far outstripping Azuma. Though, a lot of that may just be Azuma’s perception, Tokio is improving by leaps and bounds but he started off much less skilled so his improvement is more obvious. Azuma is doing the same thing he always does, but he’s been at this for years, his improvement is going to seem more gradual because he’s already that skilled.

One big way that Azuma’s insecurity towards Tokio comes from Azuma’s warped perception rather than the truth is the first event after the time skip, Azuma fails to stop a plane crash that results in the deaths of many people while Tokio seems to have succeeded and become a hero of a nearby district. Of course the truth is they both failed, Tokio’s battle ended in a victory yes but it was at the cost of basically every friend he made during the year timeskip a pyrrhic victory.

Whereas Azuma’s regrets bout the plane crash are so strong, he’s literally searching the shore for corpses so he can return them to their dead families. Azuma’s perception of Tokio as a hero that’s suprassed him is a false one, based on both his own insecurities and the inability of the two boys to properly communicate with each other. On top of that, the way Tokio left is most likely a big issue, because despite all the problems in their relationship Azuma wanted to be someone that Tokio admired, and Tokio just separating himself from Azuma probably led to Azuma’s fear that Tokio didn’t need him anymore coming true.

As the fledgling vulture takes flight, Azuma realizes that their relationship is no longer what it once was, and there’s no going back for the both of them. I elaborate on this because while we’re shown a lot of progress for Tokio in this chapter (that’s mostly just investigation and exposition scenes which I’ll be skipping over) there’s several indications that Azuma is stagnating.

Azuma doesn’t speak out against Tokio in the meeting, but at the same time we’re shown him in the background drawn in a pretty shadowy way.

Azuma also does the opposite of Tokio in this regard, while Tokio disliked the plan but openly spoke out about it, Azuma keeps his head down and does the work anyway despite disagreeing. Which is likely due to a lot of things, including his cop father being his main influence. In his character profile it says “to see what is right and not to do it is want of courage”.

Azuma’s a character obsessed with justice, ideology and doing the right thing, but he’s also someone who tends to be blind to his repressed feelings and darker traits. Which is why as mentioned in the panel above, lately his prescription is getting worse from both stress and overwork. His glasses and dwindling eyesight are both a sign that there is something he’s not seeing.

There’s also the mounting Batista and Azuma parallels, Batista is a character never depicted with their eyes shown. Even when we see their unmasked face, their eyes are sewn in the wrong place all over their face. Batista also seems to have been driven to villainry by the falling out between their brother and themselves.

This chapter also draws focus to the fact that despite Tokio has made leaps and bounds in his growth, he’s repeating some Kaneki lines here in regards to his fear of losing others.

Tokio’s desire to separate himself from Azuma was not entirely about his need to be independent, because he could have just said goodbye to Azuma and been like “I need my space for a year, it’s nothing you did to me I’m just taking this time for myself” but chose the cowards route of just cutting off all contact from him without a proper goodbye. Which reeks of Kaneki the protagonist of Ishida’s previous work Tokyo Ghoul, who also made a decision in the midpoint of the story to abandon all of the friends he made so far at Anteiku out of fear of losing them.

In this case Tokio is more self confident, but he’s being driven by his fear of losing people. That fear is probably made worse by the fact that friends he made over the year he was gone, all died right in front of him and he became the lone survivor. All of this to say, I think the dysfunction in Tokio and Azuma’s relatoinship is a two way street. Azuma is secretly jealous of Tokio and tends to stew in his resentment, but it’s a problem that could be fixed with better communication which won’t happen because Tokio cut him off.

Tokio chose the easier way of just cutting his friends off out of fear of losing them, and now that he’s back he’s basically making no attempts to talk to Azuma even after Ely directly told him to.

Azuma’s growing more and more distant from Tokio, and Tokio won’t try to bridge the distance because he’s too fearful of losing him so might as well keep him at a distance to start, and so these two things hand in hand are likely to play a role in the dwindling of their relationship real soon.

#choujin x 38 #choujin x spoilers #choujin x meta #choujin x #cx meta #ishida sui #choujin x theory

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thorns-and-rosewings · 1 year ago

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Time to post some Seraphim AU🔥 Character Information!

(Like I have mentioned, I have a bit of brainrot from this idea sooo... I guess it's time to give the characters in this AU bit more of a proper introduction. Warning this is quite long because I always overdo my writing.)

Let's start with Canon Eclipse, after getting his dumb ass stuck in Seraphim Eclipse's Universe...

-The satellite blast didn't kill him, as Nice Eclipse (Solar) told Moon, he built the satellite in a month... Something could go wrong. Which it did, rather than just blasting Canon Eclipse to dust, it punched him clean into another dimension. Severely damaging both him and the Newton Star.

-An energy blast punched right through Seraphim Eclipse's roof and deposited the damaged remains of Canon Eclipse into the ballpit. Scaring the absolute bejesus out of both Seraphim Eclipse and all the kids in the daycare.

-Upon realizing that there looked like another version of himself, albeit much smaller and without wings, Seraphim Eclipse took him to his workshop in order to investigate what this was all about.

-To clarify his damages, Canon Eclipse's legs and right arm had been blown clean off and his torso and rays were damaged. Thankfully all his pieces made the trip and could be re-attached.

-His remains were strapped to a table and Seraphim Eclipse proceeded to hook him up to his computer and go through his mind...

-That wasn't fun.

-He woke up three-quarters of the way through the process. Only to meet his alternate self looking through his memories and additional files... And got a very unamused look from the larger animatronic.

-He got put back into unconsciousness pretty quickly.

-When he wakes up again he finds his body repaired and meets his alternate more properly. Which... Honestly doesn't go all that well.

-Pretty much Seraphim Eclipse explains that he's in his universe and he has no way to get back to his own... Which to be frank is probably a good thing, given how he acts.

-Canon Eclipse unfortunately is... Well, Canon Eclipse and starts being the asshole that he is and stupidly starts threatening the bigger version of himself. Which results in Seraphim Eclipse attaching a collar of sorts to his neck that can both shock and freeze up his body to prevent him from doing things. As he doesn't want this jerk sabotaging his life and work.

-Canon Eclipse is forced to to become a janitor and boy does he hate it.

-Things get worse when he realizes that Seraphim Eclipse took his designs for Bloodmoon and Lunar and begins constructing his own versions.

-He has one hell of a tantrum because of this, which Seraphim Eclipse refers to him as a brat for it.

-Gets even more frustrated when this Bloodmoon DOESN'T turn out like his did.

-...he tries very hard to avoid the new version of Lunar outright...

-Overall he's angry. He's angry at the situation he's in. Angry that he's powerless and likely not going to be able to return to his home universe... But the thing that enrages him the most is how Seraphim Eclipse gets to have all the things that Canon Eclipse secretly wanted. Things that he WOULDN'T have without having STOLEN it all from him.

-He's just... In a very bad place.

Next up is Seraphim Eclipse!🔥

-Once he aquires the Pizzaplex and implements the changes he desires, it should be noted that everything runs far more smoothly and efficiently. For both the human and animatronics that work there.

-Far less health and safety code violations.

-His skills for hacking and creating false identities and establishing various contacts is put to good use and he creates a fictional persona of 'Fredrick Bearson' for Freddy. So that he can essentially become Gregorys adoptive father. And even sets up a comfortable apartment for them in another section of the Pizzaplex.

-This undoubtedly comes from his programing in regards to taking care of children; in this case a very roundabout way and recognizing that the boy was in better hands with Freddy than he was living on the street homeless.

-When dealing with the children in the daycare, he's extremely patient and takes everything very easy. He can be firm if he needs to be, such as putting some children in time-out, but his calm easy-going demeanor makes him very good with his job.

-He is EXTREMELY claustrophobic. Due to his trauma of being locked away and trapped within his body, he has severe issues with enclosed spaces to the point that he will have panic attacks and could even become violent in his attempts to free himself from any sort of 'confinement.'

-That being said, he refuses to acknowledge he has a problem and just tries to shrug the past and its pain off. Like it's over and not going to affect the future.

-He's in denial he needs help.

-He also fully realizes how dangerous it is to keep Canon Eclipse around . But... He cannot help but feel immense pity for him and even sees the sickening possibility that he could have ended up just like him. Bitter and hateful. So in a way he hopes that he might somehow find a way to actually help him.

-He has good intentions but not always the best execution...

-In that regards, his more negative aspects are that he is known to carry grudges and he has a LONG memory. Pissing him off is a very bad idea because he can also be vengeful and in some instances... Capable of excessive cruelty.

-His more negative qualities mercifully don't surface often.

-His most treasured possession is his sword, which is a Nodaichi. One crafted by an expert craftsman from Feudal Japan. It was given to him by Twila, Cassie's aunt.

-She obtained the sword from someone who was throwing out all of his grandfather's possessions and unaware of exactly what he was disposing of... and once thrown out, Twila scavenged it and prepared to list it on eBay.

-Seraphim Eclipse is fully aware of how valuable such an item is, as genuine 'Real' swords can be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. He was reluctant to accept it, but Twila pointed out she would rather have her niece safe than money. He eventually accepted and has treasured it since.

-Nodaichi swords are typically two handed weapons, but Seraphim Eclipse is strong enough to wield it with one hand. He has a fighting style that varies between one handed and two handed. Often if one hand is free he will use that hands flamethrower.

-He fully acknowledges he is modeled after an angel and now owns a sword that he knows how to wield. He is the embodiment of the meme 'I have the power of God and Anime on my side!' and he gets a good laugh out of it.

-Unlike Canon Eclipse, he builds his Bloodmoon and Lunar not to be tools, but to be his brothers and he adores them both. But occasionally he butts heads with Bloodmoon due to his rash behavior and at some of his Lunar's more mischievous antics.

-"I love you both to the moon and back... But damnit if there aren't some days I want to leave you up there..."

-That being said, picking a fight with them is a great way to get on his bad side very quickly.

-When his Lunar's magic begins to affect him, the first thing that happens is his wings are reconstructed and become far more 'Bio-Mechanical' in nature. He gains the ability to fly and with six wings he is not only fast, but can turn on a dime.

-He also becomes fireproof, and his flamethrowers no longer seem to need to be refilled. Rather function in a more magical means. The way he wields his fire powers is similar in motions to a firebender from Avatar.

Now for Arc Bloodmoon

-As soon as Seraphim Eclipse activated him, Canon Eclipse dove for cover behind a table, expecting the worst... And this Bloodmoon immediately shot straight up and raced outta the workshop. But it was because he was created with a high amount of excess energy. And he just starts parkouring around the daycare.

-He initially appears to be harmless. Just extremely high energy with the equivalent of ADHD.

-Like Seraphim Eclipse, he works in the daycare and his high energy and playful nature make him a huge hit with the kids. Often wearing them down so they are ready for naptime. Which he himself might join them on. As he tends to fall asleep in random places when his energy gives out.

-He only has two wings, but his wings were built to be functional in flight. When he doesn't need them he can drape them over his shoulders to make it look like he's wearing a cloak. He also has the same type of 'tail' that Seraphim Eclipse has.

-However... Things don't really remain quite so simple in this instance.

-It becomes obvious that he definitely is more aggressive than Eclipse is. Get him to the point he wants to fight and it's very difficult to get him to stop.

-His playful antics go over well with virtually everyone he knows... But then he started trying to tease Canon Eclipse, but it ended with Canon Eclipse snapping that he's going to turn into a murderous double personality freak and he's going to laugh when he starts killing innocents for fun.

-That froze him down to his core...

-He proceeded to look through the data on his brothers computer and saw what Canon Eclipse meant... What he was modeled after... And it deeply disturbed him.

-Worse yet he had started to develop a deep bloodlust and craving for blood.

-...he has to restrain himself all the time...

- Eventually he finds that Strawberry Jam acts as a decent substitute for his blood cravings. Maybe it's just a mental trick, or just internal desperation, but he consumes A LOT of it. He will however hunt down rats and rip them apart for their blood on the occasion that the jam doesn't quell the craving.

-When they start having interdimensional adventures he is able to channel his aggression much better in fighting enemies and Eclipse realized he would fight better with a weapon or two.

-Seraphim Eclipse takes him to Twila, who not only owns the scrapyard, but also does custom forging swords/daggers as a side job. To order him custom swords.

-When Bloodmoon sees her... He immediately becomes smitten.

-His wings flutter around her a lot...

-He grows to visit Twila quite often and they become a good friends. Which is beneficial because there are idiots who break into her scrapyard. And he has FUN scaring them off.

-He does bite people...

-He also develops a sort of friendship with the displaced Sun/Moon/Eclipse that live at the scrapyard.

-Being at the scrapyard lessens his secret bloodlust.

-Twila eventually gets him his scarf, which he never takes off... Accept when his brothers fight to get it off him on laundry day. And even then he doesn't leave the laundry room.

-When he gets his katanas, his style of fighting is that he will just slice his opponents apart. He gets joy and satisfaction from spilling his enemies blood and will feed on it.

-Internally though, he's stressed. As he is deeply afraid that he might lose control of himself and kill and maim people like Canon Eclipse's Bloodmoon.

-He DOES have a second personality that had just been napping a lot during his initial awakening. When it had just started to be active is when Canon Eclipse snapped at him and when they both learned about their... counterpart...

-The second personality... chose... To just stay hidden. In an effort to prevent their combined fear of turning into a monster from coming true.

-But he is so alone...

-When the primary personality goes to sleep the secondary personality occasionally takes control and might eat more strawberry jam on toast rather than just straight bread. Or... Might pick up and hug their Lunar for seemingly no reason. Or randomly go to where Seraphim Eclipse is sleeping and wrap one of his wings around himself.

-There is a way to tell which personality is active though. Their heterochromia... When the secondary personality takes control, their eye colors flip. This and their fighting style seems to become more feral if possible.

-Finally when Lunar's magic starts affecting their lives, Bloodmoon is unaffected. He doesn't develop any sort of magical powers.

-The irony of this is that he does have a desire to create or find a star to use for his own personal reasons.

And finally, Cherubim Lunar

-When Seraphim Eclipse is constructing his version of Lunar he is also looking over the damaged Newton Star that, through the memories of Canon Eclipse, he learned this... Star... Is extremely powerful, but useless in this universe. However... He begins to try and modify it. But ends up fragmenting it to pieces which mostly fizzle out. Still somewhat curious if any effect at all could be had, he collects the fragments and uses them as he builds a custom heavy duty battery. Which he uses for Lunar.

-The immediate effect is that all of his internal wiring begins to glow the color of soft blue moonlight.

-And his Lunar awakens with a cute yawn and stretch.

-Seraphim Eclipse just shrugs. No longer caring if it actually did anything. Just hugs his new little brother.

-This Lunar is built to be like a Cherubim, which are actually angels of Mercy. Playing further into this, Lunar has an incredible amount of sympathy for people. Even the individuals who Seraphim Eclipse would have given up on. He can see if there is even a tiny light left inside of a person.

-He has, almost from the moment of his creation, had access to vast amounts of magic. Also seemingly just knowing how to use it without training.

-His powers appear to primarily be 'Healing' even to mechanical beings. In fact this ability is so potent that it can also trigger mutations, such as making machines more 'Bio-Mechanical' such as his mutating Seraphim Eclipse's wings to the point they function and allow him to actually fly. The feathers actually growing and shedding (And the sheddings having magical residue within them.) And in some instances, he can even revive a completely destroyed animatronic. But the catch is that it will not be to their original design, but instead to whatever mental image Lunar has for the new body.

-Here's looking at you Killcode...

-While his magic is potent in his own dimension, but in other dimensions he is much more limited and can completely drain himself if not careful. How much energy he expends can truly wreck his systems if he overdoes it. Eerily similar to star power...

-The glowing star on his tail can separate from him and will randomly float around him until he wants it to reattach. No explanation is ever given about this.

-Also jokes that he regularly converses with stars. And that he likes most of them. (Might not be a joke...)

-Seems to have a desire to help Canon Eclipse even more than Seraphim Eclipse does. Though Canon Eclipse goes out of his way to avoid him.

-His desire to help him doesn't mean that he won't confront him with some very hard truths. Which usually gets Canon Eclipse even more upset.

-Canon Eclipse has chased him away once with a broom...

-BAD DECISION; as Seraphim Eclipse was immediately upon him and was snarling at him while his sword was ready to behead his alternate in defense of his sibling.

-It scared the hell out of Canon Eclipse. Seeing Seraphim flip on a dime and become borderline manic. Given how large Seraphim is, that's a pretty horrifying image.

-Fortunately Lunar and Bloodmoon were able to pull Seraphim off of Canon. Bloodmoon commenting that Canon isn't even worth the energy for the kill.

-This was the first time that Lunar and Bloodmoon started to realize that their older brother... Wasn't completely alright.

-Life is frickin complicated no matter what universe your in appearently.

(Aaaand that's it. Holy hell that was a lot to write... In any case I hope this was interesting to read. 😅)

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autobot-ratchet · 6 months ago

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MTMTE 50-52

MTMTE 50

all right, back to pain, here we go, my favorite arc in the whole damn thing

“It's the first time we've died together.” what a hilarious punch to the gut this sentence is lmAO

I do like everyone else's reactions to everybody's last words, Starscream's is actually making me a little emotional in how sincere he's being. Fdhjksl and the Scavengers watching like it's a soap opera

love how, much like the deal with the alternate quantum Lost Light that the DJD slaughtered, now this is just a morbidly fascinating bit of insight on these characters, but when I first read this I was panicking lmAO

I like how even though Megatron has sworn not to do any more fighting himself, he's happy to use his experience to guide the others. They're having banter like they're some sort of team or something :')

Rodimus really said “normal people, squishy people, I see no difference, life is life”

jhdkfsak It's not meant to be funny but it is incredibly funny how right after being like “I will never hurt another living creature” Megatron involuntarily punches the shit out of Minimus. Like when I said “womp womp” earlier I was thinking of when Megatron later slaughters the DJD, I forgot he breaks this vow even sooner than that

love all this talk about how the fool's energon might be changing Megatron's personality, knowing that it's literally just unfiltered and kinda gross-tasting and that's it. Placebo is a hell of a drug

aww Lotty is sweet with Megatron

urgh and the lure has been cast...

hook, line, and sinker, we're in it. Man, poor Censere, he never did anything to anyone...

motherFUCKER

god I remember feeling so betrayed by everyone on this page where Getaway reveals that he didn't escape from the brig, he was released by everyone. Perceptor in particular fucking haunted me because I didn't know if all of them knew about the DJD being involved and it took months to finally get to the part where we're told that only Getaway knew about them being involved and everyone else was under the impression that it was the Galactic Council lmAO I couldn't handle the idea of him throwing Brainstorm to the wolves like that

this fuckin speech by Getaway is so funny because this may as well be pulled from one of the many tumblr posts about how no one is allowed to like Megatron or else they're a bad person lmAO I fucking read this exact take on my dashboard so many times and it is still so funny to see it in the canon text after all the bitching about how the comic is not addressing how unfair it is that Megatron didn't get executed immediately for his crimes (even though it did, explicitly and immediately) and the comic obviously must be pro-fascism for trying to give Megatron depth as a character instead of punishing him constantly. Rewind shooting his past self to try to save the rest of the universe and the field of flowers on the Necrobot's planet don't count, those weren't punishment enough, they don't count because they just made him feel bad instead of killing him, he has to die for it to count. You are Getaway, you were all Getaway the whole time and you're stupid and bitter and wrong just like he is. *points at Getaway* that's you, you're the villain

oh that's right, I forgot about this extra bit

DRIFT I fuckin missed you my sweet boy. I do like him subtly turning down Pipes's invite to hang out, he really is just hard wired to self sabotage any chances of starting a friendship, he's lucky that Ratchet's so stubborn

I love Pipes saying if Drift was a short aquatic king, he'd have a massive crush on him. Your loss lmAO couldn't be me, fuckin move over gayboy I'm bout to get it lmAO

gdsfjks poor Ambulon, I'm sorry buddy, the puns are a love language I promise

oougfhjds Chromedome watching over past Rewind, HIS past Rewind... It does feel kind of weird to grieve for him even though he's technically still here. It's different though, it makes sense to grieve for that version of him, they're the same, but it's different

aww everybody pitching in to help clean up Swerve's bar... it's a temporal hot spot, everyone's paths cross here at some point........ or at least they did until SOMEBODY FUCKED IT UP

MTMTE 51

cannot fucking WAAAAIIIIIT for Tarn to get owned

love Magnus saying “Screw Getaway.” Don't apologize for swearing, you're right and you should say it

thousand yard stares at the dust Censere just turned into...

*points at Tarn* haha stupid bitch doesn't know we're gonna fight back and live, you think you've already won, dumbaaaasssssssss

Rodimus I love you and I get that you're stressed but don't ever be mean to Ten for any reason ever again

I admittedly didn't see this take a ton of times but it is burned into my brain regardless from just how angry it made me lmAO but I remember seeing people be angry that everyone decided to stay and protect (what they thought were) the organics, specifically because it was “unrealistic” that all of them would be so selfless. Honestly this take still pisses me off lmfAO the entire. Fucking reason we're here is because these people were quite literally hand-picked to be here precisely because they are the least selfish individuals on the Lost Light and weren't willing to throw their friends, crewmates, and captain under the bus just to get rid of Megatron. They're GOOD PEOPLE, the kindness is the POINT what fucking care bears villain bullshit are you ON

Ten is so good...

fucking godghsdjakfdl this god damn page with Drift and Ratchet showing up in their spiffy new designs gave me the world's most powerful heart attack when I first saw it lmfAO BECAUSE!!! BECAUSE I SPECIFICALLY REMEMBER JAMES FUCKING ROBERTS STATING ON TWITTER THAT THERE WERE NO PLANS FOR THEM TO COME BACK LIKE BARELY A WEEK OR TWO BEFORE THIS ISSUE CAME OUT!!!!!!!! So I was like “aw alright that's fair, we're kind of in the middle of an arc anyway so I get it, no real room to add them in, I'll prepare myself for like another solid year of no Dratchet” AND THEN THEY JUST HFSJDKASLHDFAJSF

aww, admittedly I don't really read the fan letters at the end of some of these comics but even just skimming the ones in this issue, I see a lot of familiar usernames. Not all of y'all were terrible lmAO

MTMTE 52

“If we can team up, anyone can,” he says. Shut the fuck up gayass, you love him lmfAO

gdfjk love Ratchet casually getting his gun eaten and also his entire body almost melted by Helex in the background, just a little low-key brush with death, fun little welcome back for ya

yeah, more feeding into the Roller is Tarn theory, “If YOU could be turned...” I'm gonna be real, I paid attention to Glitch this time around and I still think it makes more sense for Tarn to be Roller lmfAO truly the only connecting threads between Tarn and Glitch is that Glitch had outlier powers that could disable technology and he was present in Orion's old team. He was never shown to be as close to Orion as Roller was and there was never really any explanation for his powers evolving into being able to kill living tech with his voice and also getting his face and hands back and also growing three sizes taller lmfAO I ultimately don't care that much, it truly doesn't matter plot and themes-wise, but if I gotta have a bit of criticism for this comic, I'll tack that one on the board

“Did they waste their lives? Did I waste mine?” literally yes lmfAO jokes aside, this dialogue between Tarn and Megatron rules, love Megatron having to face the living embodiment of himself at his worst

not gonna lie I completely fucking forgot about Overlord lmfAO

gdhsfjk Velocity immediately putting her foot in her mouth while meeting Ratchet... also damn, First Aid talked a lot of shit huh lmAO poor guy's been through the wringer and I guess Ratchet gets the brunt of his bitterness

also fucking LOVE this conversation between Drift and Rodimus, love that Drift immediately jabs at him for not looking for him after he came clean about Overlord. I've seen people criticize this moment, saying that Roddy's apology sucked, and I'll admit, it kinda does lmAO but I think that's kind of the point. It's a very Rodimus apology, and Drift knows that and understands that even though the words being spoken aren't a very adequate apology, the intent behind them is sincere and Drift is a good enough person for that to be enough. He could hold a grudge, he's got the grounds for it, but he just doesn't want to, and fucking good for him, I'm proud of him for that. In fact wasn't there a James Roberts tweet about this where he explicitly said this was meant to reflect more on Drift than Rodimus? I somewhat remember that

pulls up a chair and some popcorn to watch Overlord and Tarn's catfight lmAO

it is genuinely so fucking funny how much Overlord picks on Tarn, I've seen plenty of really funny fan works where the two of them bicker like feuding twitter users but like. No it's completely canon, he treats Tarn like a child trying too hard to be cool and I am fucking LIVING

ah yes, there it is, Tarn ripping Kaon's head off. In addition to all the Tarn-fuckers lamenting that he wasn't their poor misunderstood meow meow, I remember a lot of people saying that Tarn only did this in response to Overlord's teasing, and like. Not really??? I mean I'm sure Overlord didn't help, he was definitely pissing Tarn off, but it's Megatron that pushed him to kill Kaon for the crime of caring about his dog. In Tarn's eyes, he was performing a mercy kill to stop Kaon from becoming “weak” like Megatron, it's really as simple as that. He literally says it on the very next page lmAO

#mtmte retrospective

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wyatt-finley · 8 months ago

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W H O A M I ?

FULL NAME: Wyatt Kane Finley OCCUPATION: Currently unemployed and half-heartedly job hunting AGE: 31 PRONOUNS: He/him SPECIES: Werewolf PACK: Warwick HOMETOWN: Hammersmith, London — speaks with an rp (received pronunciation) accent and often drops his 'g's because it's comfortable and he's lazy. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single, but he's not really one for labels. SEXUALITY: Frequently internalising romantic fantasies of beautiful men.

(tw: violence, mentions of injuries, mentions of blood)

P E R S O N A L I T Y

AGGRESSIVE. Swing first, ask questions later; Wyatt is the kind to resolve most disagreements through a few bloodied knuckles, bruised cheeks, and broken ribs. CHEEKY. He is always pushing his luck. He has one of those smiles that pulls the sun out of hiding and fills the hole he'd been metaphorically digging himself back up with dirt. You can count on him to turn a sentimental moment into a joke because it'll kill him if he doesn't make light of something serious. FLAKEY. Do not trust him with time-sensitive tasks. Don't even trust him to show up on time. He'll show, because he doesn't make empty promises, but you can bet he'll be late. IMPULSIVE. No, he didn't think through the consequences of that run-and-gun decision. Everything seems like a good idea when you're incapable of thinking more than a few seconds ahead on any given day and are prone to making decisions with your heart, rather than your head. LOYAL. He's not great at expressing meaningful feelings, but he can certainly show you. If you've earned his trust, his loyalty is undying and trumps all of his flakey traits — if you need him, he will drop everything to be there for you. Any time, any place, by any means. RECKLESS. He's a fire guy. He's a booze guy. He's a five-finger-discount guy. He doesn't have any intention to hurt anyone, or anything, in the process, but damn is he charming when he apologises. WITTY. Loves a punchline, and a little attention as a result. Also loves poking fun at those he loves. Gentle bullying is one of his love languages at this point (as is biting, but that's a conversation for a different trait).

B I O G R A P H Y

Wyatt is the youngest of two Finley boys and grew up in a single-parent household. His father is mystery that he doesn't care to solve beyond knowing that's where his werewolf gene had come from. He's hellishly protective of his biological and chosen families and has a tendency to devote his blind loyalty to those he loves. So maybe he's got a few daddy issues sprinkled in there. Maybe. He is a born-werewolf, much to his dismay, and grew up in London. He found 'home' in a little pack that adopted the Finleys right in after catching word of their dynamic and of boys that would need a safe space to come into who, and what, they were. Raised by his own kind, he learned to play hard, work hard, and fight harder. Something of an athlete and a scrappy wrestler, Wyatt made a living out of it during his adolescent and young-adult life. Mostly because he'd been talked into it by packmates as a means of redirecting restless energy. It kept his knuckles clean and steered the boy away from petty fights. He travelled away from home often — for matches and championships that eventually spurred on an endless cycle of temporary friendships. Ones that blossomed into situationships, and eventually fizzled into early-morning fantasies when he needed to travel again. Learning to deal with the wet cracking of bones and shredding of flesh every time the moon turned full was, in his words, fuckin' grim. It prevented him from joining teams and stoked the isolation that his genetics brought on with a hot poker, which only made his wolf mind froth at the chance to rip and tear, limb from limb. He tried to keep contact with his loved ones as best he could, but Wyatt had always been more of a physical than digital communicator. Sprinkled with a little self-sabotage and self-loathing, he was used to being alone by the time he struck his mid-twenties. Walked through towns with a sour expression, busted knuckles, and his head down. Where no one knew his name, or his werewolf affliction. Life brought him to Port Leiry after a second tear to his MCL in three years and far too many concussions to continue a high-contact sport. He spent most of his recovery befriending a member of the Warwick pack, who quickly introduced him to the rest of the loyalists. God did Wyatt fit right in with most of their core beliefs, and learned new ways to appreciate the brutality the moon granted him. Four years in Port Leiry built him the routines of a new life, and a new outlook. He still travelled for work — commentating sparring and wrestling matches rather than participating in them — but always found his way back to Warwick. Eventually a rift in the pack saw a blowout of snapping jaws and bloodied claws until Wyatt was following his friend away from home blindly. It made perfect sense to him in that moment; Wyatt owed his life in Port Leiry to them. So he left with them. But it became clear it was yet an impulsive decision made with his heart, rather than his head. And one that left him alone when they, too, walked out on him. Returning to Port Leiry, and at odds with the Warwick pack, is probably a mistake. But Wyatt misses home. Misses being part of something bigger than himself. Misses that something, or someone, that could take his mind off the weight of the wolf on his shoulders. The kind hand at the back of his neck and the warm voice that told him everything'd be okay. He misses home.

W A N T E D

Hear the dogs howling out of key - Chosen family, for the most part, rather than just pack mates. Someone(s) that will run with him, fight with him, and stand by him the same way he'd stand by them. In the night we'll wish this never ends - Past loves, FWBs, hookups, crushes; He's got a big heart and a cheeky charm that disguises how he loves wholly, deeply, and fiercely. Whether or not he's told you, or himself, that he loves you is another discussion entirely. Or maybe it's just not that deep. He's not much for labels. Now it seems I'm out there on my own - He's probably met you in passing before. Maybe at a championship, or a bar or pub afterwards. Or maybe you crossed paths with him in the middle of his self-inflicted ostracism. Either way, he could use a few friendly faces that accept a different version of him than they might've known before. Could be any frontier, any hemisphere - Was it you he followed away from Port Leiry?** Or you he promised he'd never leave? I said I was the cops and your husband's in jail - Practical joker extraordinaire. Maybe you thought it was funny. Maybe you wanted to beat the shit out of him for remotely flipping the breaker in your house for a week straight. Might want to check those downlights on the fritz.

** part of a more complex WC.

#cor.intro #wyatt finley #tw injuries #tw violence #tw blood

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