#I PROMISE HE IS ACTUALLY SO SILLY AND DUMB AND NOT ALL SAD AND ANGSTY !!!

[dutchs-paisley-vest]

aaaand one more :3

34, 44, 45, 46, 49, 54

For the OC Ask Game, about Ernest

34. "What do they believe their hands were made for"

To taunt. Earnest believes his hands were made to tease, taunt, and cause affliction; they were made to cause doubt and serve as cold reminders of the cruelty of absence. (I, however, believe that my freak son's hands were made for holding, actually.)

44. "Do they believe they are more in control or being controlled (by others, their circumstances or their life in general) and are they correct in their assumption"

Without a doubt, Ernest believes that he is controlled by his hubris more than anything else. In a way, he is right. The thing that controls his life is the "but not me, though" instinct, only to be absolutely throttled by the circumstances he said he would never end up in, if not worse. 

He never thought he would go down the path to alcoholism. He never thought he would go into debt. He never thought he would lose his (extremely tolerant, btw) wife. He never thought he would lose his friends, either. He never thought he would hurt his parents oh so deeply. He'd never thought of himself as a violent man, but look where that got him. 

45. "What is their fatal flaw"

Oh boy! Shall we start a list? 

A devastating lack of self-control

Compulsivity

Trust/Loyalty

Poor self-actualization

Guilt/Regret

Cowardice

Self-sabotage

Grief

God, this guy has issues.

46. "To what extent does shame or guilt influence their psyche"

I think Ernest is made more from guilt and shame than he is from flesh and bone. Kelpie and I were talking about this a week or two ago. If I remember correctly, he has a "Jesse Pinkman ass backstory," and likewise, the same relationship with his parents. 

More sad Ernest lore for you! He had an older sister who died of consumption at only two years old. He never had the chance to meet her because he hadn't been born yet. Though, he did feel the effects of her death heavily for most of his childhood. He was born into a large, very tender sister-shaped hole in his parents' lives; as you can imagine, it wasn't the ideal environment to raise a baby boy in. His parents do get major credit in my eyes for not fucking him up majorly. 

Let me be very clear: all his issues, while exacerbated by this, were not caused by his parents' grief. His parents did the best with what they had, and what they had was decidedly remarkable for the period and circumstances Ernest was born into. Ernest knows this. He looks up to and almost idolizes his father (who he is nearly a spitting image of), but he's a momma's boy. 

Ernest is his mother's son in many ways. He was always closer to her because, as a boy, she was around more than his father due to work. If you asked Ernest what weighs on his conscience the most, it would be that the man disappointed his parents in ways he didn't know possible. While he could face Maggie after all those years and stay composed, apologizing even, Ernest would never be strong enough to look his mother in the face again. Not without serious issues, at least. 

His parents lost a child shortly before Ernest was born. He was supposed to be their little light, their hope for the future. Instead, they got to watch their boy grow up to become an alcoholic, gamble his life savings away, face assault charges while under the influence on multiple occasions, ruin the marriage he had with his childhood best friend and love of his life, disappear for several years as he ran as an outlaw, and then eventually reading in the local paper that not only was he scheduled for execution at Sisika Penitentiary, but that he has also escaped and is at large with/an accomplice to another known criminal, committing violent and petty crimes alike... that, my friend, is his biggest regret. And it is a regret that dictates almost every one of his actions for the rest of his life. 

49. "Do they believe there's a cause, person, or a goal worth sacrificing their life for"

It's hard to say what he would and wouldn't sacrifice his life for when he's been passively suicidal yet cowardly for most of his adult life thus far. He firmly believes without a doubt or justifiable reason that he is going to die young... until he's well into his thirties. At least. 

Ernest is a crazy combination of both (like I said, passively) suicidal and also incredibly cowardly. This is a large part of why Ernest engages in self-sabotaging behaviours, small and large. He basically raw-dogs his depression from his teens onward, and it leads to massive complications and life-altering fuck-ups. However, while Ernest is convinced he is going to die young and puts himself into harm's way more often than he makes an effort to get himself out of it... he also doesn't make the active choice to throw his life on the line for any particular person or cause until he's in his thirties. 

He kinda has a "you live, and then you die" mentality until he starts to really fall out of his dissociative/depressive state. This means that while careless about his life, he would not necessarily sacrifice himself for anything until he begins to get better. When he bumps into Maggie in Saint-Denis (talked about that a bit in this post) and she notices that while he looks physically rougher than he used to, he seems to be doing better and is more mentally present, aware, and honest-to-god happy... that is about when Ernest is willing to put himself on the line for a person or cause. 

Once he starts valuing his life, Ernest becomes capable of heavy decision-making such as this. Only when he starts to value himself can he understand the gravity of losing it... or to sacrifice it for something bigger. That said, Ernest would easily give up his life for his loved ones, hoping they'd live and be better than Ernest ever could. When he views his life as worthless, sad, or disposable, he is controlled by the inability to see the bigger picture. He hardly understands himself for the total first (almost) half of his entire life; to ask him to die for something other than himself or for the sake of death itself would be virtually meaningless. 

54. "Are they more likely to do a good deed if they know it will be noticed or do they not care about acknowledgment"

Excessive thanks or acknowledgement would genuinely deter him to a degree. I think he would get weird about it. He is so... so awkward. He hates being put on the spot. 

A single "thank you" is all he could reasonably accept without making it weird. He appreciates the thanks, but he does not need it. Anything excessive or repetitive is something Ernest actively hates because he feels as though he has been deceitful and has tricked them into thinking he is a good person. 

(Dividers from deltamel here)

[resident-gay-bitch]

Steddie ficlets (under 3k words) are below the cut; angst, fluff + smut

All works can be found on AO3 as well.

Works (over 3k words):

Find Here You can find all my other Steddie works on that post, as it was too cluttered to add them all on the same one :)

Ficlets (under 3k words):

Nightmares After one of his nightmares, Steve calls Eddie as he can't reach Robin, Eddie confesses he has nightmares of his own, and they find comfort in eachother - angst + fluff

Seven Minuets The party plays seven minuets in heaven and when Steve and Eddie get shoved into the little bathroom together, Eddie begins to question everything, primarily regarding his sexuality - fluff + kinda suggestive themes?

Axl Harrington Steve is doing his best as a single dad, trying to help his trans teen learn how to bind, and trans Eddie steps in to help them out - fluff! with little speckles of single dad angst

Accidentally Kissed Drunk and lonely, Steve thinks he finds Nancy in a quiet room and puts the moves on her, only after feeling up her shirt, does he realise it's actually Eddie he's making out with, and he realises he kinda liked it - dumb angst and happy ending fluff + suggestive themes

Love Sick Eddie and Steve first meet as little kids in the doctors office, playing together in the waiting room they make their Ken and G.I.Joe dolls kiss. They then remember each other years later, trading confessions and chain smoking their anxieties away - primarly fluff with a bit of an angsty ending

Bet On You Rockstar Eddie comes back to Hawkins for his high school ten year reunion and gets roped into attending one of Robins charity events, and he finally sees Steve after 10 years apart, and he thinks he might have just scored himself a hot date - fluff

Red Light Steve pulls up beside a metal head at a red light, and the idiot starts singing to him - fluff

If I Was A Worm Steve asks Eddie if he'd love him if he were a worm, and Steve should have expected Eddie would give him an answer far from normal, but it only makes him fall harder in love - fluff

Marry Me? Eddie proposes to Steve on a whim one night by giving Steve one of his rings - flufff!!!

Not Quite Puppy Dog Love (Steve's POV) Steve doesn't know what to do when the demon version of Eddie in the upside down swoops and carries Steve off to his nest, but he can't help but find him kind of cute as he coos like a pigeon and crawls around like a puppy to bring Steve his treasures - fluffy with some mild angsty themes

Not Quite Puppy Dog Love (Eddie's POV) Kas Eddie doesn't remember much about his past life, but he does remember the golden haired boy swinging that bat when the humans enter his relm, and his heart fucking soars at the sight of the one occupying his dreams every night - flufffff with some sad moments

Cropped Out Eddie loses his mind at the sight of Steve in a crop top and totally embarrasses himself about it - silly

That's A Promise Eddie wakes up in the hospital to find Steve there, holding his hand, promising he'll do everything he can to protect Eddie from now on - angsty fluff

Bullshit Eddie has a bad day whilst healing post Upside Down, and Steve tries his best to stay calm and help, but he only has so much strength - angst (@mugloversonly wrote a little hopeful ending to this with the perfect resolution I think, read their continuation here)

[blrush]

Rec List Request

A personalised list for @jammy-boy 🥰 could be of interest to others, so enjoy!

Basic requirements: - just finished and loved SOTUS - is Arthur/Merlin trash - loves a twist or reversal of classic “power-dynamic” - loves angst with happy ending ______________________________

Theory of Love

Film student Third (Gun) has been secretly in love with his best friend Khai (Off) for three years, but Khai is straight, a massive player, and a total arsehole if we’re being honest. This starts painful, but then they start playing around with tropes and expectations and then it changes POV which just HITS so hard and completely changes your whole perception. You know the movie Flipped? It references that, and then does the flip - so good.

Knowing the level of pining, pain and angst that you love (plus your background in film studies) I feel like this is required viewing. Get out the tissues. But also, it’s still really funny and cute/dumb (cause gmmtv) and the production was excellent. Also, Off/Gun are PEAK natural chemistry and Gun is such an incredible actor that watching him cry or yell at someone is still preferable to other actors being happy.

Watch on YouTube HERE

He’s Coming To Me

Precious baby boi Singto plays Med, a ghost, who is is stuck in limbo for 20 years - until he meets a boy who can see him, Thun (my baby boi Ohm) who promises to help him figure out his unfinished business and cross over. And then they were roommates! And then they start falling in love and it’s ANGSTY because they know Med will have to leave one day. Ouch, my heart.

You will enjoy the mixture of domestic fluff and tragic angst in this. But don’t worry it has a happy ending (kind of, I think, from memory haha). Also, you will enjoy the fact that they can’t touch (cause, ghost) which is *chefs kiss* except for moments of heightened emotions when Thun’s powers become strong enough that he can touch Med (FUCK YES, THIS TROPE IS EVERYTHING)

After much whining from fans, they put it up on Youtube haha so watch HERE. 

Until We Meet Again

ANNGST. RE.IN.CAR.NA.TION. ANGST. What else do you need to know?!?! Reincarnated soulmates trope?!!? HELLO!?!?  It’s so beautiful. I’m still not over it. And yes it has a happy ending, it starts super sad, then ends up super fluffy and the romantic fluffy moments oh god it’s so romantic. I know you love like soft domestic food sharing etc - this show is ALL about the cooking.

The casting, the characterisation, the acting, the story, the music, even the friendship group and the side-couple, it’s perfection *chefs kiss* PERFECTION

Watch on youtube HERE

A Tale of A Thousand Stars

After the lovely volunteer teacher Torfun dies (RIP poor torfun) in a tragic accident, her heart is transplanted into selfish pretty rich boy Tian (played by the beautiful Mix). After learning of her selfless character, he feels guilt and shame for living (the angst is very real) and makes it his mission to complete her life’s wishes and follow in her footsteps. 

As the new village volunteer teacher, he then falls in love with the very handsome and very shirtless chief Phupha (Earth), who lives to protect the trees, we stan an environmental man. Angst, fluff, complications, and many miscommunications ensue. I was tearing my hair out by the end of this show. Yes, it has a happy ending (eventually). Earth x Mix was a pairing we did not know we even wanted or needed until this show happened and now I cry every time I see a picture of them together. Every single time Phupha looks at Tian in this show I literally tear up. HE LOVES HIM SO MUUUUUCHHH *crying again*

Watch on youtube HERE

I Told Sunset About You

Childhood best-friends, turned enemies (for stupid kid reasons), to lovers. This is ANGSTY but so fucking beautiful it’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t even class this as “BL” because it doesn’t have any of the standard tropes, and there’s no silly sound-effects or innuendo jokes. This is like genuine lgbt+ indie-film realness. You can honestly just watch it for the cinematography and the music. The AESTHETIC of this show is what truly makes it special. The symbolism, the colours, this show said CINEMA. And the sexual tension is absolutely WILD. You will live for the angst (with a happy ending). And no, do not bother watching season 2, it’s perfect as a stand-alone mini-series. (I’m still upset).

Watch HERE 

and now for some stand-out non-Thai series...

Where Your Eyes Linger

Korea has gotten on the BL train, and has now made a whole bunch of viki mini-series that are all cute but this one is right up your alley. This is VERY merthur. It’s literally servant/master, bodyguard/prince trope. But, I thought the characterisation was nicely thought out and wasn’t what I was expecting. The tension is palpable, the angst is juicy, and the soft kdrama vibes are cheesy and wonderful. Angst with a happy ending (of course).

Watch on VIKI

HIStory 3: Trapped

So the Taiwanese HIStory series has been around forever, and I love the whole series (History 2: Crossing The Line is my all time fav). But for youuuu, I think the most appropriate is Trapped. Police detective single-mindedly obsessed with a gang leader? Yes please. But whatever power-dynamic expectations you would have of a police/criminal couple are twisted and warped immediately! This series is so endearing, it’s mostly comedy/action, and whilst it has plenty of angst, mostly it’s just CUTE as fuck. Also the side couple are adorable too!

The whole History series is on Viki now yay!

The Untamed

Look, I KNOW 50 episodes of plot-heavy chinese historical fantasy is a lot. But there’s a reason this show was soooo popular. It only took me like 3 attempts and a whole ass “guide” pdf to figure out what the fuck was happening in the first ep cause its non-linear. But, if you are in the right mood (ie; sick, or in lockdown) and need something to get completely LOST in for like a week, then watch this haha. I know you couldn’t make it through Guardian, but maybe this one will hit the spot.

This has all the angsty character tropes you live for. And cause it’s censored, there’s no actual romance, so instead it’s just the best kind of UST, character driven, emotional soulmate angst. To summarise: Wei Wuxian is; adopted, a trouble-maker, impetuous, head-strong, fun-loving, has a martyr complex and wants to save everyone. Meanwhile, Lan Zhan is; lawful good to a fault, stoic, shy, and has a martyr complex about saving Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian ONLY. Now throw them into the middle of supernatural / political turmoil and see what happens. Well I’ll tell you what happens, Wei Wuxian becomes the “villain”, gets killed, and Lan Zhan spends 16 years looking for him. FUCKING KILL ME OKAY. (No, that’s not a spoiler it happens in the first episode haha)

Do NOT watch on Netflix the subs are trash. Watch on Youtube or Viki

 ~ ~ ~

This list may seem long but I was VERY reserved in my selection okay you have no idea how tiny this tip of the iceberg is 😂

Also, knowing your love of no-touching, tension, and angst. I would also briefly draw your attention so School 2013 in my bromance list which is the single most angsty show about friendship ever made.

Enjoy!

[georgemackayhey]

Jealous and angry George x reader please

Well, here is this angsty blurb for ya! 

You and George rarely fought. When you did, it usually resulted in coming to reasonable compromises and sappy apologizes. And most of the time, you didn't so much entertain fights as you did spats over building bookshelves and planning Christmas trips home. So when the two of you started getting into it at the start of this month, you worried. 

Nights were ending without conclusions to your arguments, and each new day seemed to present a new layer of whatever problem it was the two of you were facing. You couldn't even meet in the middle, not with the way each of you refused to see one another's side of things. And it was no spat. It was a fight that sent you to bed with a slowly breaking heart. It was a fight that sent George off to work each day without waking you up to say goodbye. It was a fight so maddening that you were left with no choice but to throw together a few things and find a friend to let you crash at their place for an amount of time you couldn't be sure of… without telling George. 

For a few days, you were left to wonder if he'd care enough to find you. Your phone was empty of texts or calls from him. And you couldn't bear to drive by your place to try and see what he was up to. For a few days you spent most of your time.having some kind of nervous breakdown in your best pal's spare bedroom. And then you saw him. 

You were out to the same market at the same time. Because the least you could do was buy your friends groceries as thanks for letting you lock yourself away in their flat. George reluctantly stopped in the middle of the crowded place where you stood with your arms crossed, willing him to say something first. He did. He said he knew where you were staying, that your friend phoned him to let him know. He asked if you were alright. And that pissed you off more than whatever it was that started this whole thing. Of course you weren't alright. You cursed at George and spun out of his sight, so he wouldn't see the tears starting to fill your eyes. If he was really worried about you, he'd bring you home. That's what you decided. 

You saw George a couple more times over the next week. At a coffee shop your friend dragged you to, insisting you needed to get out of the house. George was there, and the two of you only stopped for a second to stare each other down, daring the other one to say something. Neither of you did, and when George left your friend started in on you. Going off about how ridiculous this whole thing was. How you and George just needed to work it out already, or call this whole thing off. Because this limbo wasn't helping anyone. That must have been the catalyst for what happened next. 

Your friend invited George over, and tried to stage some kind of intervention. You and George started up right away, exchanging the same exhausted argument. But thanks to your pals mediation, you were able to argue with George from an all new perspective. You had to give your friend credit for helping clear up a few blurred lines, but things between you and George were foggy as ever. But you could see how exhausted he was. And eventually he said so. He said he was tired of fighting. He asked you to just forget everything. But you said no. You couldn't just move on from this. You said if he really wanted you back, he'd have to want to work out this issue more than he wanted to forget it. You sent him away and feared what might've come next. You were right to. Because you stopped seeing him around. And your friend hadn't heard from him either. And you started to wish you had accepted his invitation. You started to actually forget what this was all about in the first place. You started to worry it wasn't worth it, and that you'd messed it all up. 

When the time came for you to see George again, you wondered if you even would. It was your best mates birthday. She invited George to the pub your group of pals was set to celebrate the night away at. No one had heard from George when you showed up and asked if he'd arrived yet. So while your pals took to the dance floor you stayed near the bar, downing one drink after another. 

"You don't look like you're having any fun." Someone said. A boy with dark eyes and dark curls.

"M'not." You shrugged, finishing off your third drink as the guy sat in the stool next to you. He offered to buy your next drink, and told some cheesy joke that was so bad you couldn't help but crack a smile.

You thanked him for the drink and the joke, and he offered a few other silly lines. Then he said something about how he couldn't leave until he got you to laugh, instead of trade sad little grins. His attention wasn't forceful, or annoying. It was actually almost comforting, almost enjoyable. It wasn't ideal. But it was the most attention you'd gotten in a long time. You leaned in to listen to the guy tell long winded stories, and let him move a lock of your hair out of your eye's. And he looked at you with such tenderness as he tried and failed to retell some joke from the 1930's. It scored a chuckle from you, and the guys eyes lit up to find he'd made you laugh. When a bout of quiet settled between the two of you, he asked if you wanted to go back to his place. Before you could respond, someone else did.

George had shown up sometime after you'd settled at the bar. He chatted with a friend for a bit, who told him how dumb he was being, and insisted he march up to you and bring you home. About that time, he looked up to find you in the middle of a conversation with some guy that wasn't him. You were smiling, and leaning in toward the guy, who dared to reach out and brush back a bit of your hair. And that was George's final straw. He hadn't ever wanted to lose you. But he'd foolishly let you wander off for too long. He'd let you go. Sick as it made George to watch the guy woo you he couldn't blame you for leaning into someone else. But he couldn't sit back and let it happen. He wasn't going to let some sleazy pub goer steal you away, after everything. So he shouldered past his oblivious friends and marched right up to you. 

The guy you were with was standing up, extending his hand to you. George watched you watching the other guy from the place you sat. He could tell you were debating your next move. And George stepped in just in time.

"Sorry mate, she's got better plans." He called, much to the dismay of the guy who had every hope of bringing you home.

"Sorry, who the fuck are you?" The random guy spat, stepping closer to you.

You had risen from your seat, turning to gawk at George. You had lost all hope of

seeing him here tonight. You were beginning to lose hope of ever seeing him at all. Relief washed over you at his defence. But worry bubbled in your throat for whatever was to come. You wanted nothing more than to be with George. But what if you couldn't work it out? 

"She doesn't want to go anywhere with you." George darkly pointed. He looked as if he hadn't slept in ages. 

"Think she can make up her own mind." Your newest friend nodded your way with a little grin. Now both men were looking at you with different hope-filled expressions. And you knew exactly what you wanted. 

"I wanna go home." You croaked, unable to hide the way your voice broke when you looked right at George. You struggled to hold back tears as his expression remained unchanged. But then he took one step closer to you and placed both hands on either side of your face and you could see he might've been trying not.to cry, too. 

"Let's go home, then." He spoke so quietly, surely no one else could hear. You couldn't stop your tears then, though you tried. You ducked your head and let George lead out of the pub as the guy you left behind cursed you as you went. 

Before you reached the car park you stopped George from dragging you to his ride. You threw your arms around his shoulders and cried and said you were sorry about one thousand times in a row. He said he was sorry too, and held you closer than ever before and eventually coaxed you into the car to head home. 

It was a good thing the ride home was so long that you dozed off. Because you didn't get very much sleep that night, in the bed you shared with George. You'd so much missed the way the sheets smelled and how his hold on you was warmer than the quilt cover. You spent all night making up, with and without so many words. You promised to never let anything like that happen ever again, and felt some kind of grateful for how nice making up felt,  though surely nothing could top the feeling of absolutely trusting that you'd be able to work through anything with George forever and always, after all.

Send blurbs / Inspiration to help start me out?!

[saigonharrington]

boyfriend // g.w angsty one shot

I would like to say hi to my 30 followers I love you so freaking much thanks (and sorry) for following me 🧡 and to all my non-followers thank you for reading my story

It would be nice if you guys could reblog my works, it helps me grow and motivates me so much

By the way, it’s the angstiest one shot I have ever written so before you can ask, I can assure you that I will make a part two ( there will be link to it if it will be posted) because I don’t want to leave your relationship with George like that

My last one shot was for non gryffindor readers so this one’s for you gryffindorks

George Weasley x fem!gryffindor!reader

The year when the Yule ball was held

Warnings: swearing and different swear words, cheating, mentions of cheating, crying, some unkind words about slytherin (im so sorry guys really I love you)

Word count: 2k I think

angst angst and once more angst

also I did it in 2nd person (I wrote it in 1st and then changed it so sorry if there are mistakes) because I read on someone’s blog that you prefer it like that ❤️

———————

The Triwizard tournament despite being a dangerous experience had some perks. Maybe not for me, but for some, the Yule Ball was the hot topic all the time. Boys were freaking out because they didn’t know if the girl they’d planned to ask will say yes, while girls were comparing their dresses and talked about crushes they developed to have. Everything was a mess, even teachers seemed to talk only about the night that the ball is held.

And here you were, not going.

“Honestly, Y/N, even though Adrian doesn’t want to go, does not mean that you should spend this night alone. You can always join our group.” Angelina spoke to you, seeing your upset face. You were sitting in the dormitory, girls were putting their dresses and make-up on, trying not to mess up their hairstyles.

“You’re going with Fred, each one of you has a pair, I don’t want to interrupt.” You explained.

“Don’t be silly, we’re going as friends and nothing more. And I bet everyone would agree with us that you should go, for once thinking about yourself. I’m sure Pucey won’t mind. Although he’s sick, that doesn’t mean you should babysit him or sit all damn night here without a soul to talk to.” Alicia encouraged you.

“I’m not sure. It’s too late to start preparing. I don’t even want to go, dancing isn’t my thing. And all that stuff that makes this night official, it’s so stressful.” You are a good friend, right? It isn’t your night, tonight is only about them. You don’t want to third wheel anyone.

“You know we can help you. Boys can wait 30 minutes longer. And think about it, you’re not the only one who’s going without a pair. George, Katie, and Lee are going alone. Also, Harry and Ron set up with Patil twins, these girls will leave them after ten minutes, because boys do not match their personalities, I tell you. Believe it or not, maybe 30 percent of people will be at the ball with the one they fancy. It’s about fun, not significant others. Some younger students are also attending this ball, you can’t tell me that you resign because of your boyfriend. He wouldn’t feel betrayed just for the reason that you’ll show up to the dance where are teenagers, or frankly speaking - children. You’re going with us.” Alicia ranted, sick of your excuses.

“And I agree with Alicia. No time to mope around. What could be wrong with spending time with your favorite people? We’re gonna dance until our knees become weak, and then we’ll be eating til’ our tummies can’t take more. Also, can you imagine those Durmstrang boys in suits? You can’t say no to them. Bet they look freaking good and every one of them will want to dance with a girl like you. Now get your butt here, someone’s got to help you with make-up. Alicia can you do her hair then?” Angelina got excited and made you sit in front of her to have your make-up done.

“But what will you wear?” Spinnet asked when she finished her job.

“Actually, my mom sent me a dress, which I keep deep in my closet because I knew I won’t go…” You whispered.

“Shut up! And you didn’t tell us?” Angelina exclaimed. “Now it would be extremely dumb not to go. This dress can’t be wasted, put it on!”

You did as they wished, putting on the clothes. You didn’t have the right shoes, so you decided to wear casual black sneakers.

“You look amazing, Y/N” “Yeah, Adrian would’ve been sad if he knew how fine you look tonight.” Girls complimented you. “I bet our friends are waiting in the common room. We should go.”

Lee, Katie, George, Fred, and Alicia’s partner sat by the fireplace talking about something.

“You’re finally here!” Katie shouted smiling wide. “And Y/N! I’m so happy that you’re going. Your dress is phenomenal.” She squealed.

“It’s their fault.” You pointed at Angelina and Alicia. “They persuaded me.”

“That’s good! It’s going to be our night, and you’ll have fun despite Pucey’s absence. I can’t wait!” If Katie could fly, she would do it right now.

“Confidence looks good on you.” George interjected, walking closer to you. You were friends for a couple of years. He was always by your side, along with his twin, but You never bonded with Fred that well as with his younger copy. You got through so much together, that only made your friendship stronger. Frankly speaking, You were quite happy that he was going alone. Since your boyfriend didn’t go at all, You wanted to have someone to talk to.

“Thank you, Georgie. Do you think it would be alright if I tried to check up on Adrian? I’m worried about him and I don’t want to seem selfish.” You changed the subject.

“You know that it’s hard to get to a different gender’s dorm. Not to mention that it’s the slytherin boy’s dorm.”

“I won’t go then. But please try not to joke about slytherins this night. It’s my boyfriend’s house therefore it hurts me a little.”

“Whatever you want.” He didn’t seem to worry, but You were completely serious. His pranks sometimes went too far. Adrian didn’t care bout them, while you personally found them inappropriate. You love George, he’s your best friend, but his hate towards slytherin house and all the members drove you mad. You thought that people are done with stereotypes and generalizing.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked you, seeing that you do not pay attention to what’s happening.

“Nothing important. Let’s head to the table.” You replied, intertwining your hands, taking empty seats next to Fred and Angelina.

“You know guys, we’re gonna dance first, we’ll come to eat later.” Alicia took her partner’s hand and dived into a crowd on the dance floor.

As time went by, Angelina and Fred disappeared as well, showing their moves as if they were taking part in some kind of competition. The next thing You knew is that you and George were left alone by the table because even Katie and Lee were in the mood for a party.

“It would be lame if we stayed there and eat all night. If you will?” George asked for your hand, and you joined your group on the floor. Everything was great, You wanted to thank the girls for making you go, but before You had a chance, a slow song started playing, and people divided into pairs, leaving you and George next to each other.

“You know, I might go check on Adrian, I’m sure he doesn’t want to sit in the dorm all night, and maybe we could talk for a bit.” You panicked, seeing a couple of slytherins looking at you as if they wanted to kill you for spending time with the Weasley. To be honest, You felt uncomfortable with it and you didn’t want to seem careless.

“Just one dance, please? Then you can go.” George pleased.

“Georgie?” You asked, while resting yout head on his arm. “These people are staring, and it makes me very anxious.”

“Maybe we should give them the show that they’re asking for.” George replied and before You could think about a response, he kissed you in your mouth. If felt so strange, yet so good. His lips were so soft, his big hands on your waist were holding you tightly, warm feeling entered your body. You returned the kiss, forgetting about the whole world and people around you, who probably glanced at you, but you couldn’t care until it hit you.

“George, I’ve got a boyfriend.” You almost cried, knowing that now You cheated on Adrian and the whole hall witnessed this.

“And yet you kissed me back.” He smirked, not worrying about it as much as you did.

“I should tell him the truth.” You said to yourself, exiting the ballroom, running in panic to Slytherin’s common room.

“No, Y/N, wait!” George shouted. “I wanted to do it for so freaking long. And you showed me that you might feel the same way about me, you can’t just walk out of the Great Hall and leave me alone. I deserve explanation.”

To say you were furious would be an understatement. How could he make this about him, when clearly You were in worse situation.

“George shut up for a moment! Can’t you see what I did? I let you kiss me, returning it. Don’t you know what people will gossip about? Me. Only me and my bad actions, because t’s always the girl’s fault. I do have to tell him before he finds out from someone else. You have to understand me and for once, give me some time. We’ll talk later, I promise.”

“But I love you. I love you since our second year, and now that I showed my affection and had the courage to make the first move, you’re leaving me. You’re always talking about Adrian. It makes me sick. How can you be with someone like him? He’s bad, like most of the Slytherins plus you must be blind not to see the way he treats you. He’s always so mean, doesn’t like to hold hands with you, does not understand your jokes. But I do. I’m always with you and for you. I’m the one who wipes your tears after he does something stupid, I’m the one who’s wanting the best for you. I’m really fucking mad that you’re with him. I should be your damn boyfriend who can hold your hand forever and will never let go, who will kiss you so passionately until you lose your breath. And I wouldn’t cheat on you as he does. I couldn’t help myself. When we danced, you looked so fucking perfect. You always look like that. And Pucey cheated on you, at least twice. I saw it with my eyes, I swear. I thought about it all the time, wanting to punch his face so bad that his own mother wouldn’t recognize him. No one cheats on a girl like you, Y/N. No one should ever cheat. He managed to do it more than once and I hate him for that.” He admitted, not noticing that You were already crying. “But you know what? If it makes you feel better, you can go to him. I know he’s not sick, he’s sitting with one of his girls, avoiding you, and no doubt, he’s doing more than kissing her. You can see it for yourself if you don’t believe me.” He almost shouted.

“Fine! I will! Even if it’s true, it wasn’t the right time to kiss me in front of that many people! I’m going to be called a whore and no one will protect me, because they saw what we did. It’s not going to be your fault, but I’m blaming you. Because you said no one should ever cheat. And what you did, was the exact opposite. If all boys are like that, then I’m fucking done.” You exclaimed, leaving him outside the common room.

You tried to control my tears, yet you lost your control while you heard weird noises from your boyfriend’s dorm.

“I was so damn stupid that I believed you! Do what you want, asshole, I’m not your girlfriend anymore. As if it mattered anytime.” You screamed, being pissed off at him, yourself, and George. Because his words were true, and you didn’t notice it earlier. You felt so fucking stupid.

You ran through the empty corridors, trying to focus on finding the shortest way to your dorm room. You passed by some couples kissing, but they did not saw you. Or they didn’t want to. You tried not to stare at them too, being in the worst mood you ever could be.

“Do not say a thing Weasley. I want to be alone.” You spoke, seeing George waiting outside your common room, and before the boy could reply, you disappeared at the door.

please reblog and comment because I want to interact with you and the more people are enjoying the story the sooner I’ll write the second part 😊

[taetaespeaches]

“No. I am not letting you cry over Daniel fucking Radcliffe right now”

Namjoon x Reader (or oc)

Word count: 1.9K

a/n: Once again, this is just a fluffy piece with very little plot. It was supposed to be straight up silliness but then I went a little angsty before bringing the fluff back. My bad, guys. I hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading! 

“What are you talking about?” You shot Namjoon a wide-eyed look, showing just how shocked you were. “We’ve been over this so many times, how are you still denying it?”

“Baby, come on,” he looked at you with a small smile. “Yes, it looked like him, but there’s no way it was him.”

“It was him!” With wide eyes, you looked at Namjoon expectantly, waiting for him to confirm your story.

“Wait, who is Daniel Radcliffe again?” Jeongguk asked the two of you.

“He plays Harry Potter,” you responded without taking your gaze from your boyfriend.

“You saw Harry Potter?!” Jeongguk yelled out in excitement. Looking at the maknae, you nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah, at a market in Ilsan while we were visiting Joon’s family,” you smiled brightly.

“No, we didn’t,” Namjoon cut in, making you roll your eyes before shooting daggers at him. “We saw someone who looks like him.” As he looked from Jeongguk to you, he cocked his head at your glare. “Y/n, why would Daniel Radcliffe be at a random market in Ilsan?”

“You’re telling me it’s more believable to find Daniel Radcliffe’s doppelgänger in the Seoul area than the real Daniel Radcliffe?” At this point you were more annoyed at your boyfriend’s smartass tone than anything.

“But why would he be in Ilsan, all alone, just doing some light shopping at a market? How does that make sense?” He added a chuckle at the end, pressing your annoyance further.

Jeongguk hummed in understanding of Namjoon’s logic, nodding his head. “Yeah, I bet it was a look-a-like,” he said, oblivious to your anger. As you chewed on the inside of your cheek in irritation, Jeongguk’s eyes widened in realization of your mood. Trying to cover his own ass, he backtracked. “But, it’s still cool though! I mean, I don’t know, I wasn’t there. Maybe it was the real him. Really cool either way, y/n.” He attempted to console you while trying to get himself out of trouble.

You mustered a small smile at the younger man, assuring him it wasn’t him you were angry at. Returning your smile, he quickly stood up. As he escaped the living room, he shot Namjoon a wide-eyed look, silently warning his older friend of what was to come from you.

As soon as Jeongguk cleared the area, you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest, burning a hole into the wall in front of you with your stern stare.

Namjoon sighed as he took in your angry appearance, trying to hold back a smile at how cute you were when you were mad. Another thing that pissed you off— he never took your anger seriously. Scooting closer to you on the sofa, he sweetly said, “Baby…”

Giving him the silent treatment, you tightened the cross of your arms over your chest, silently telling him to stay the fuck away. “Baby, don’t be mad at me,” he pouted.

Stubbornly holding onto your silence, you transferred your gaze to the opposite side of the room, looking far from your boyfriend’s adorable pouty face.

“Come on, at least talk to me. I miss your voice.” Namjoon nudged your shoulder with his nose, trying to pull your attention to him. After a failed attempt, he scooted even closer, nudging your cheek with his nose this time. “Y/n,” he whined. “Baby.”

“Stop or I’ll bite you,” you snapped, making him flinch away for a moment before grinning and pressing a kiss to your neck.

“There’s my loving baby’s sweet voice,” he teased, making you roll your eyes.

“Namjoon, seriously. Stop, please.” Your serious tone had him straightening his posture as he looked at you in confusion, his eyebrows pulling together.

“Wait, are you really mad?” As you continued to look towards the opposite direction of where your boyfriend sat, his face suddenly popped up in your eyesight as he peered around your body to catch a glimpse of your features. The way he comically appeared in your vision, his mouth hung open as his eyes showed just how much his mind was reeling around the fact that you were actually truly upset, would have made you laugh if you weren’t so fucking annoyed. “Hey, talk to me.” Reaching for your arms, he pulled them from your chest, taking your hands in his own.

“You can be a real jerk sometimes,” you whispered. A jerk? Those words stabbed Namjoon directly in his heart.

“What? I was just kidding, Baby. If you’re so sure it was him, who am I to tell you—“

“I don’t give a fuck if we saw him, what I care about is you not supporting me and then making me feel like a dumbass in front of your friends,” you barked back.

You watched as his eyes turned from concern to confusion. “It was just Jeongguk,” he justified. “He does 50 dumbass things every day.”

“I know that. But still, I feel fucking stupid. You may have a genius-level IQ but that doesn’t make me inferior to you,” you said, a tinge of sadness in your tone.

His expression suddenly showed his realization and then it quickly turned to remorse in the matter of a few seconds.

“Oh my god, y/n, I know you aren’t inferior to me. Far from it,” he started as he dropped your hands, instead placing his palms on your cheeks, squishing them, pushing your pouted lips into an even bigger pout. “I didn’t mean to make you feel stupid or silly or anything else. You are the most intelligent and perceptive and aware person I’ve ever met. I’m the idiot. Baby, I’m so sorry, I promise I will never speak to you like that again. I feel awful.” Tears began to form in his eyes as he sincerely apologized to you.

At the sight of his tears, your heart crumbled. You knew he didn’t mean to make you feel bad. You knew he didn’t think you were dumb or silly. You knew he admired your mind. Seeing him get so emotional made you jump into protective partner mode. “Oh my god, Joonie. No. I am not letting you cry over Daniel fucking Radcliffe right now.” You reached up to touch his face.

“Do I really make you feel inferior to me?” He looked at you sadly.

Quickly shaking your head, you gripped his hands in your own, pulling them from your face and holding them to your chest so he could feel your heart beating. “You don’t, Joon. I always feel so respected and admired by you, I promise. I just, I think I project my own insecurities on you sometimes, and that’s not fair to you,” you shook your head. “I just don’t always feel good enough. And that’s my own shit, that has nothing to do with you. I’m sorry.”

“Good enough for what?” He asked, his eyes intense. “For me?” 

“Just good enough in general. Good enough as a student. Good enough at my job. Good enough for my parents.” Your voice got quieter, showing your shame. “Good enough for you, sometimes.” Averting your eyes, you continued. “I see the world in you, and I just feel like I’m lacking sometimes. Not often, but every once in a while.” 

Namjoon sighed, taking a moment to process your words. “Please, tell me when you feel this way. Just... sit me down and talk to me.” He cocked his head to try to catch your eyes. “Will you please look at me, Baby?” Looking up at him, you met his kind eyes with your own. They weren’t judging you or shaming you, but were instead full of consideration and understanding. And he stared at you like you were perfection in his eyes.  

“Stop looking at me like that,” you said softly, overwhelmed by the affection in his gaze. 

Raising his eyebrows, he asked, “Like what?” You sighed, cocking your head at him. 

“Like I put the stars in the sky,” you said with a hint of a smile. 

“Didn’t you?” He flashed the smallest of smiles, making you playfully roll your eyes at his adorable cheesiness. “You should never feel less than or not good enough,” he told you, eyes soft but intense. “Especially when it comes to us. We’re partners, Baby.” 

“I know we are, Joon. I’ll talk to you, I promise,” you nodded. Cocking your head at him again, you smiled. “I love you.” 

“Why are you so forgiving,” he frowned. “I really am not deserving of your forgiveness all the time.” His sad frown was so downturned, you couldn’t help the small giggle that slipped out at the comical expression.

“Well, that’s not true and I don’t care what you think, I’m giving you my forgiveness anyway,” you smiled. “Now, what is this face?” You laughed, making his eyes lighten up a bit at the sound. “We’re good, so quit looking like this. Where are those dimples I love so much?” He couldn’t stop the upturn of his lips at your sweet tone. “There they are,” you cooed, dipping your fingers into the divots in his cheeks.

Shaking his head, he repositioned his hands in yours to wrap them around your wrists, bringing your fingers to his lips as he placed a soft kiss to each knuckle. When he finished, he pulled you forward, placing a kiss to your lips. “I don’t deserve you,” he said against your mouth.

“Sure you do,” you smiled.

“I don’t, but thank you for putting up with me anyway,” he told you sincerely, making your heart skip a beat. Instead of responding, you pressed your lips to his again.

Breaking away, he looked at you with big eyes. “Just so you know, we definitely saw Daniel Radcliffe at that market in Ilsan,” he informed you.

“Yeah, obviously you goof, I know that,” you giggled as you attempted to kiss him again, only for him to pull away once again.

“Yeah, but we’re on the same page now. We’re united in this. We saw him. It was him. Harry Potter himself.” The serious expression he sported while telling you this made you burst into a fit of laughter.

“You’re an idiot,” you laughed.

“Yeah, I am,” he smiled as he kissed you again, things heating up a bit until he pulled away, breathless.

“Would you quit pulling away and get over here and kiss me?” You groaned in frustration.

Laughing, he bit his lip. “I was just going to ask if you planned on cashing in on that threat to bite me,” he quirked an eyebrow, flirting with you.

“Well get back over here and find out,” you said pulling his face to yours again as you both laughed into the kiss. He pushed you onto your back as he positioned his body atop yours.

When Yoongi and Hoseok entered the room a few minutes later, Namjoon quickly pulled away from the kiss, making you groan in frustration before spotting the two men, cheeks flushing as you suddenly felt very bashful.

Smiling at you, Namjoon turned to look at his members. “Hey, did you guys know we saw Daniel Radcliffe at a market in Ilsan?”

Looking at the sweet man in front of you, you crumbled into a fit of giggles, hiding your face with your hand. Tugging on his shirt, you drew his attention to you. When his wide expectant eyes met yours, you bit your lip.

“Babe, thank you for that, but I really don’t give a fuck about Daniel Radcliffe right now.” You widened your eyes and gestured to the hallway where his bedroom awaited. Picking up on your hint, he scooped you off the sofa.

“We’ll tell you about Daniel Radcliffe later,” he told his members before carrying you away to his bedroom.

[quiznakwaffles]

About Voltron’s S7 and its flawed writing

Have you ever thought « Wow, this is so amazing. The person who did that is incredible, I would have never thought of that. This is so clever ! » ? I've had. When I read FMA. When I read books written by Marguerite Yourcenar or poetry by a lot of talented people. When I read amazing fanfictions this fandom come up with.

You know when I've thought the opposite of that ? When I watched Voltron's season 7. I've rarely felt so disrespected as a viewer. I've rarely thought my intelligence had been so insulted, and I've watched Besson's Lucy. A lot of people have correctly wrote about the queerbaiting the show pulled at us. What was the point of introducing Adam and building up the hype around his relationship his Shiro it was to kill him for absolutely no acceptable reason ?

What I'm going to address isn't only the queerbaiting of the show, that a lot of people simply reduced as « being angry because ships weren't made canon ». If you really think that, maybe you should educate yourself on the matter of representation for the LGBT+ community. Who is a lot, lot larger than you think, but isn't in your mind because we're not represented anywhere. And when we're barely represented, it's for us to appear evil and/or die (or suffer endlessly). But yeah, continue thinking it's because ships weren't made canon.

What I'm going to address is the lazy and flawed writing in this season.

I've caught up with Voltron in July, and was pleasantly surprised about it. A lot of unresolved plot lines came to term in season 6, and the way it ended. It was so promising ! Paladins journeying through space, having so much time in their hands that they actually could deepen their bonds... It had so many opportunities for good content. So. Many. They were actual good moments, particularly with Hunk. And yet, I can think of a hundred ideas to give a much better content with these characters than it actually did.

What with bored and angsty Paladins in space when they could've been finding ways to keep themselves entertained and get to know each other better ? What about Romelle written as annoying when she hit it off so good with Hunk in the first episode and had a lot of potential as a comic character and strong ally to Allura (or potential love interest but that’s just me fantasying) ? Hunk had good character development about him, but even that could have been even better paced with little effort.

I see a lot of people saying “ It's a kid show, stop making it about yourself “ or "We were hyped by what we expected of it”. And of course we did, that’s what all fanbases around the world do because we’re smart being who like thinking about the plot and hoping for good content. And do you think kids are stupid ? Do you think kids don't care about relationships, friendships, conversations about feelings ? Hunk and Keith's discussion was so important, and I wish it was given more time, more consistency, and was done with other characters.

  Of course giant robots and beautifully animated intense fights in space are cool. But you know what else is ? Emotion awareness. Kids need it so bad. As we grow up, because of our misogynist society, we often see being vulnerable and talking about feelings as something feminine and shameful. Because it would be considered weak. Voltron may be a kid show, and it's for this exact reason it needs to show them how talking about your feelings and your identity, struggling about it but coming to terms with it by actually sharing about it with people around you is crucial.

But what is Voltron doing ? It's queerbaiting its fandom, killing LGBT+ characters for no purpose and making them at best invisible and at worst evil. It's portraying its own characters as unimportant, inconsistent and dumb.

  Keith and Lance have made steady progress in their relationship since season 3. But then suddenly, Keith is doubting Lance abilities when he was giving him leadership on the team before ? Keith is insulting Lance, saying he wouldn't want to be stuck up with Lance forever when they've been sharing their insecurities and trusting each other over leadership ? Have we seen the same show ?

What would it had cost them to make Keith say something like “ Lance has a family on Earth he wants to go back to so bad. And I've just reunited with mine so I guess I would want him to experiment this as well. “ Keith has grown for two years apart from them. He was supposed to be more matured, more in control about his feelings. What about those awful inconsistencies in his writing ? Making him say that wouldn't even had been a ship thing, it would just had been true and nice from him ! It would have created emotional value in the show ! What kept them to do that ?!

And Allura, oh my god ! She's such a strong and great woman, trusted with an infinite Altean's knowledge about alchemy but in season 7, she's reduced to being Lance's love interest ?! I wouldn't have minded their relationship, because it could be very sweet. But she's shown no romantic interest in the boy for the past six seasons. In season 7, they barely even talked, apart from the « Would you just shut up Lance ? ». Barely interacted on their own. And now, suddenly, they just say at each other to stay safe while blushing and really ?

Veronica, while she never saw Lance and Allura interact at all, said « I think the princess likes you back ». Like really ? You're pulling this hetero-normative trope of a third party watching a man and a woman they'd never seen interact before and judging they're in love ? This is so boring and forced. I've felt I was being talked to as if I was a kid when I watched this scene, like the show was screaming at me “ Look !! Allura never reciprocated Lance's feelings for six seasons and now, for absolutely no reason the show even bothered to tell you, she's suddenly returning them ! “ I felt like the sandwich guy from the meme. I am. I am the idiot sandwich who wouldn't understand hints about a developing relationship. I felt so embarrassed watching that whole season, wondering if the show was actually doubting my own thinking ability.

And now, my personal pet peeve. A strong woman being pictured as evil for no reason and then dying so she can atone for her sin. I couldn't even remember her name. She was the head of the Garrison. Adam was a sacrificial paw to show just how threatening Galra were (yeah, I couldn't deduce that by myself, not like they've been conquering the whole universe for ten thousand years. Silly me !) and how this woman was evil, having no second thoughts sacrificing people for absolutely. No. Purpose. We don't get a backstory or a single flashback. Once more, what would it had cost them to add something so we could have understood her reasons ? Or, more, what would it had cost them to not make her evil because she was a strong and smart woman ?

Am I the only one, as a 23 lesbian, feeling insulted by Voltron's trying to making me believe this experimented woman, head of the Garrison, just went on the enemy's territory and thought they would respect the bargain, not listening to experienced people ?! Why would this lady do such bad choices ? Am I supposed to believe she couldn't think of anything else ?! And of course, who's the nice ones trying to fix this lady's issues ? Nice guys obviously ! This mean lady made Sam Holt and that guy who spent years yelling at children and deprecating them as the nice ones !

And what about Shiro not getting closure? Neither on his relationship with Adam, neither by taking down Sendak himself, letting Keith get the spotlight (once again) and robbing him of this moment? What were the writers thinking?

And I’m not even talking about Zethrid and Ezor who were coded as romantic, unsure and supportive lesbians for a minute before swiping to evil and masochist lesbians. And I think I've already made a point about Romelle. I'm not mentioning Acxa because I didn't really thought when I watched her scenes with Keith that they were romantically coded. I think she's fond of him in a sibling way, and for once in this post, I'm not sure Voltron tried to made us think other way. But, hey, it's heterosexual so after all, no reasons for it not happening since, you know, it’s not LGBT+.

They had so much opportunities to make this show mark history. To make it meaningful, touching, ground breaking with amazing characters and sweet LGBT+ relationships developing with time. They had gold in their hands and just wasted it. That’s why I’m so sad and hurt. It could have been so great.

[marypoppinswasmyfatherbitches]

Oh my goodness, I didnt see the link to your fanfic account! I am dumb. So ignore my previous ask and instead answer this one for the meme. 13, 3, 14, 1 and 2 for Happiness goes on? (I shall leave reviews on your beautiful fanfic soon I promise, they are good.)

(Hiii, sooo…this whole reply is late because I actually typed up ALL OF THIS last night, and then accidentally “x”-ed out of my browser and lost it all, because I am very very stupid. And then was too tired to retype it up before going to sleep. I hope I remember roughly everything, and apologies for that mistake.)

Oh! Haha! Alright then! Thank you! Don’t feel dumb at all for not realizing which AO3 account is mine or for your previous ask(which for others who are curious, said: “1 - 5 for all your fics! Just talk about your favs!”). I was prepared to choose 3 fics (including “Happiness Goes On” since that’s definitely the one I’m most proud of, so I guess that’s closest to a “favorite” right?), and go through the first 5 questions for each, though I won’t lie and say it wouldn’t have taken some time to answer.

BUUUT…since you said to scrap that first ask, I’ll answer these individual ones for “Happiness Goes On.” And your compliment and promise for a future review means SO goddamn much, thank you sincerely.

(WARNING / REMINDER: This is about my fic that deals with the subject of child molestation, and I do reference that a little bit in this reply. Don’t read further if it makes you uncomfortable, which I entirely understand and respect.)

**********

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

HA! Well, American Pie obviously, for a majority of it. While brainstorming / writing / editing the epilogue? A lotta Billy Joel. ;)

The idea to use American Pie bounced into my brain when it came on the radio at the thrift shop where I volunteer, one of the rare times my own music speaker battery died. Usually a disaster, because our store radio is pretty crappy, but the sound quality wasn’t too bad that day, and I rediscovered how much I love that song and ‘Why isn’t this on my ipod again?’. Listening to the lyrics, I realized how much some of them fit the Guardians in general, and this story specifically, which I have Gamora mentally note in the fic. I was sitting and casually chatting with the manager while also thinking, ‘Google what year this came out when you get home, but I’m sure it’s the 70′s. Peter would know it, and it could be the Zune. I think it could work.’ I’m proud that I was able to reference the song so many times without actually naming it by title, but I assume most readers knew what it was, it’s just that famous. (I also couldn’t resist the light-hearted joke, later when things calmed down, of Gamora saying “This…is the longest song…I have ever heard.” and Peter smiling without even looking at her and giving a cheeky “I know.”)

In terms of using Billy Joel for the epilogue, I’m just a Billy Joel fanatic. The use of him for this story began just from the We Didn’t Start the Fire joke toward Rocket at the bar (I thought it was clever, Peter!), and later on I saw how The Longest Time fit romantically for Starmora, and some of the lyrics matched the healing themes of the overall story, and I thought ‘Maybe they’ve been playing BIlly Joel since that night; maybe that can be the joke.’ Why shouldn’t his Greatest Hits albums (at least) be on the Zune? I struggled a lot over what song should be the final one Gamora comments on before they switch artists to appease the group. I never specify which romantic Billy Joel song Peter and Gamora slow danced to during their “date night” in that six-week summary, but I like to imagine it was Just the Way You Are. I considered Keeping the Faith or Vienna for the final one, but I thought they deserved something more fun and naughty to analyze this time, so Only the Good Die Young it is. :D

In conclusion, I listened to The Longest Time, and the entire An Innocent Man studio album, a lot (as if I needed an excuse).3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

The portion in italics is my favorite line, but I’m including the entire sentence for context purposes: “She would need to grow used to him viewing Yondu as a caring parent who was extraordinarily protective of his boy, and would have hunted down this pervert to whistle a glowing arrow through her skull.”14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

Ohh geez, wow, that one is tough. I don’t know if it’s accurate to say this story was intended to educate, but just to explore the idea with fictional characters. I have no expertise on the subject, and would never claim such, or talk down to those who do. I didn’t intend to create a PSA. I suppose all of the “lessons” for Peter (if they can be called that) I hope all readers already know and agree on (basically a collection of “it wasn’t your fault” and “this doesn’t define you” and “trauma isn’t a competition, someone else suffering worse doesn’t invalidate your experience” and “you should feel comfortable talking about anything without judgement or shame” etc.).

Slightly lesser scale messages, there’s also reminders about the importance of communication, trusting each other, letting the other person speak in an argument, not letting one’s jealousy/instincts/bad mood interfere with fairness, not running away from a fight or staying angry, respecting boundaries and privacy, all that healthy relationship jazz that these two are still figuring out. 1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

This post is already very long, and I could probably talk for hours about the decision-making process for many scenes (of my GotG fics, this took the longest to write and publish, over 2 months), so I’ll try to condense this to a few bullet points that probably don’t fit the “inspired” criteria.

- It was originally going to be in two parts, 4 scenes each, when I thought the epilogue would be much shorter. But as the lil’ wrap-up got longer (because we needed a fluffy conclusion, dammit!), I decided to make it a separate “chapter.”

- I think the concept probably started as one of those strange, angsty “what if?” scenarios I make up in my head at night that I still can’t believe I created into a full-fledged work. I liked the idea of Peter and Gamora having this conversation and her comforting him, but I knew if I was really going to throw it out there for other fans, it had be more balanced with happier moments, too. I just know I was always going to make the offender a woman - both because it would lead to the misunderstanding that she was a past consensual hook-up when Peter was an adult to spark some irritation and jealousy in Gamora, and because it’s realistically different from other sexual assault stories, since women can be pedophiles and child predators too, and they’re just as horrible. :(

- The fanfic idea of “Gamora accidentally starts a fire while trying to cook, and Peter falsely accuses and lashes out at Rocket” was in my head before, but there were two key differences. 1) It was the entire plot, not a light-hearted subplot in the shadows of something bigger, 2) Meredith’s letter was either fully or partially burnt as a result of the fire. By the end Gamora was going to confess it was her fault, that she was trying to surprise Peter by cooking spaghetti, and he would apologize both to her and to Rocket for losing his temper and getting so angry. I hated that idea later and found it too sad (he’s already lost the Walkman and second cassette tape, why would I want him to lose even more from his mother?), and in “Spark My Memory” (the Christmas fic I wrote for “12 Days of Starmora”) the Guardians put his mother’s letter in the photo album gift for Peter, completely safe and unharmed. I like to keep all my fanfics canon-compliant and non-contradictory from each other, so the letter is fine, no burning it.

Yet “Gamora started a fire cooking” still seemed fun to me, as I like the idea that she’s so badass and skilled and intelligent, but failed at something so domestic and simple. Kinda cute. I was so excited to insert it into this, because I think it worked on multiple levels. It’s a driving force for the plot (the reason the team go to the restaurant and they stumble upon that particular waitress), the reason Gamora was already in a bad mood during her fight with Peter, it could be used as a metaphor/comparison for Peter’s anxiety and Gamora’s guilt, it was something for the Guardians to put at a higher priority to tease and mock Gamora for while oblivious to the main story, something for Peter to just break down into giggles over once they changed the subject (because he earned a good laugh after that heartbreaking and vulnerable childhood trauma story), an excuse to give Rocket so many funny lines, an overall silly and sitcommy-style subplot to fall back on, and a sweet “victory!” for Gamora to have (sort of?) conquered by the epilogue. ^_^2: What scene did you first put down?

This is easy. I’ve written all but one (8 out of 9) of my fanfics in order, except for “Just Like Everybody Else.” So ya, I wrote the opening scene first, Baby Groot’s magic trick lesson and Peter’s oh-so-cruel “can only be seen once” deception. I needed to ease readers (and myself) into the angst and heavy shit to follow, and that cute idea had also been in the back of my mind for a while. ^_^

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PHEW, OKAY, ALL RE-TYPED! Thank you again SO MUCH for the lovely ask and wonderful questions, your actual interest and curiosity thrilled me! You see I wasn’t kidding about the incessant babbling. :P

Thank you also for the kudos you left on AO3, and take care!~