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theinsanecrayonbox · 6 months ago

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FOP: A New wish e31-36

short bought here huh? that's what we get for a finale i guess. it's so weird having a whole season air in LESS THAN 2 YEARS. ahem, sorry about that ^^; lets get this party started (during a tornado watch!)...and finished a day later because i lost power with LITTERALLY 3 min left of the last episode

Episode 31: Hazel Wells and the Multiverse of Jenkins

is the title a reference? i mean aside from multiverse shenanigans, because holy wow multiverse shenanigans??? i am excite! can i get a cameo?? (please note; this is a joke, i don't seriously think i'm cool enough to be on the creative team's radar*)

wait title cardTHAT is Jenkins?? the beanpole kid with the glasses?? i remember him from the zombie episode

haha Dev's causing trouble because he can, i'm betting Jenkins doesn't have a crush on Hazel at all...and maybe Dev told him the inverse so that's why he's gonna be after her

oh Father Time, because a do-over...like Deja-Vu...eh they're keeping consistent within itself, so i can't complain *glares at s9* hehe the clock poof said "wibbly wobbly"

so many time loops. Hazel is such a disaster girl lol. but those who don't eat the cereal, even the mystical, are affected by the loop, very interesting.

we keep mentioning the daylights savings (which is back an hour, so it's fall season??? what time is it????) at the start of each loop, so i'm sure that'll be a big deal

aww sweet in one loop the hijab girl gets a crush on Hazel

her middle name is Antoinette?

heh everything in the hallway was a metaphor for Hazel's problems. but she learns her lesson with minimal magic. and ha i called it, Dev made it up to annoy her.

so...it wasn't really a multiverse thing, more a time loop.

ah, well, still a good cute short story. we need fun light and easy too. good job.

Episode 32: Growing Pains

synopsis sounds like a standard aging up plot. lets do it

hi big brother. and yay Hazel's love of horror movies returns!

hey a canon teen Hazel, that saves me time. but lol "your neck is longer" way to call out the stylization lol

hey is that Dinkleberg as the theater cashier???? also Chinfinity War poster

but teenager shenanigans montage. ok cool. more punk goth girls, this time it's Hazel. huh

pasta puberty? o...kay...it's fairy puberty...o....kay...you guys never put any other godkid who wished up their ages through this

heh pads. this show is great

and her pasta pits are working like octo-legs. why does FOP have so many Spiderman connections/themes/allusions???

dawwww such a sweet comforting, realistic talk with her parent

and a gross button to end on. eh, not so bad.

this was another fun light episode. again, minimal magic to fix it, main character learns a growing up life lesson. good stuff.

Episode 33: Fairy for a Day

synopsis sounds like the episode where Tim wishes to be Cosmo and Wanda's fairy godparent who's title i can't seem to find right now...

old Jorgen design!! and Fairy Con??? but Cosmo Con said it was held every millennium...or was that only because of how long Binky was spinning?

i would want that shirt, not gonna lie

ah she's not being an actual fairy, she's cosplaying to sneak into a con. mkay

wow, we're actually bringing up magical backup...and death memorials...what are you show? (that third one isn't me right O.o no...that doesn't look like how i've ever drawn me, but the 8s....)

Hazel don't you know never to sign contracts with the fae?? now she's a real fairy...with starry glitter hair...huh *makes superverse notes* and kids can't wish to be fairies? uh yeah they have; is that another rule Tim had made?

Anti-Hazel???? cool! why she has a backwards name though, that was unique to Peri and Irep...but i guess since they were the first *new* fairies in a bazillion years, maybe the backwards names is what the newer gen of anti-fairies is doing.

i don't have much commentary on the magic battle to get the paper back, it's pretty ok. and everything is fixed and reset to one by the end. it's a fun magical romp, good one.

Episode 34: Stuck in my Head

synopsis sounds almost like parts of Imaginary Gary???

oh Hazel, it is just a silly internet quiz, don't sweat it ^^;

ok he inner mind is a museum. both works to info dump which is eth goal, but also since she's such a bookworm and organized, it also fits-

SHE WANTS TO CREATE A COMICBOOK SERIES????? and she writes poetry? Hazel, baby girl, i love you sweet child

why was Vizolia (sp?) here?

can't wish away Hazel's mindworm huh? can't remove her negativity huh? despite...having done that before with Tim in Emotion Commotion (not that it ended well sure, but still), or Vicky Looses Her Icky, or even earlier this season with Jasmine's fears in Fearless (though i guess it just manifested the fears she still had them)

but hey, defeating it with the power of positive thinking as taught by her mom, that's a good lesson to teach. good story.

Episode 35: Mind the Gap

oh boy Tooth returns. how's her design going to be wildly different like most of returning characters...

hey follow up on Patty Possum...well sort of, we got distracted lol

oh look, Tooth has no design change. weird since we changed everyone else that's reappeared

talking teeth...ok...who speak in teeth puns

haha the line! "How'd you do X-thing? "Uh...internet?" lol i love it, 10/10 A+

ah i think i see where this is going, Toothica, being an artificial tooth is just totally fake in all her actions/words

that joke wasn't funny...especially with the pause for laughter part...maybe that was the joke?

the logistics on how a tooth sets a mouth up as a rave and invite other teeth is...dumb to unravel. so let's just marvel that the colosseum setup in Fairy World still exists

of course the bad guy outs themself and the day is saved and we reset to one. it was an ok episode.

Episode 36: The Battle of Big Wand

a double (30 min) length episode for a finale huh? and the title does sound fitting for such an event. 1 millionth wish huh/ sounds almost like something muffin worthy....which yeah, why are there so many ways to get a rule free wish when they are so no-no?? (it's almost like fae rules make no sense lol)

heh they're padding her wish count to get her to hit the goal

new math thinking meme screencap please

heh 39-40 times, because it's episode 36

oooo evil-fied Fairy World looks cool

wait, did Dev take everything over OFF SCREEN?? please tell me they'll show us how as the ep progresses via flashback, because that's some really big development to do OFF SCREEN (*grumbles about Marvel*)

ok we are getting a montage explanation...sort of. i feel like Dev taking over ad teaming up with Irep could've been an episode in itself.

Dev misnamed Wanda Pam. funny...and kinda close to Pan, which i named Blonda "Panda" after Cosmo's datebook misnaming Wanda that in Dog's Day Out...hm....

oh he's evil gloating to the world. welp, you just revealed Fairies and magic to the world at large (heh Crocker cameo, also AJ), so if he wasn't in control of the Big Wand i'm sure he'd be loosing Peri and mind wiping right about now. Dev why you slide back so hard into antagonist? you were doing so well! another episode would've helped flesh that slide, just saying

hey Patty and not-Timmy too

heh Dale just praising Dev because he's the new overlord

oh we brought up magical backup because Peri is dying. wow

Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda!

Pet Cemetery joke??? O.o Show! i love you so much

pffft thank you! everyone DID notice the magical stuff and just didn't bother pointing it out. but they did think it was weird.

gotta make some calls for backup at the commercial break huh? you gonna call in the previous wishes? or are we gonna get Timmy...

oh back to the evil lair, guess we'll find out when they attack

see Dev isn't evil and wanted world domination, he just wanted to be noticed and validated, like always. Dale wanting world domination follows

ah yeah she called in all the wishes

Anti-Fairies should love broccoli, why is that a bad thing?

dawww Peri telling Dev he loves him, Dev gives the key. he is really a good kid, just like i've been saying he doesn't know what he wants so he can't be pleased. and Cosmo even said it! dawwww

magical backup was never that fast acting before...is it sped up because the Big Wand is off so there's no syphoning to help mitigate?

so...was restoring Fairy World her rule-free wish? since it was the next wish granted?

dawwww Dev willing to take responsibility and punishment. but he is mind wiped

oh no it wasn't the next wish was auto rule-free, you have to state you're using it. and it's to let her friends remember magic...huh, that could be an interesting dynamic for a s2, the only time we've had others remember magic were when they were antagonists (Remy) or co-protagonist (Chloe). plus, with Dev mind wiped, the chance for that to get undone is also looming. so we got plot threads we can follow up on

and yes Peri, a fart joke...i do hope for a s2 too because this series was actually very fun!

i think towards the start i said this was sort of a do-over for what they tried for Chloe, and to a degree...yeah still is. you can see the shared elements, but by removing Hazel from Timmy, it made it work so much better. as i say, i actually loved Chloe but she was a huge well of missed potential, and Hazel seems to have learned from that and made it work.

i am quite ok with New Wish being the prime timeline continuation, and i hope it continues to thrive...for at least another season (we don't wanna ram it into the ground repeatedly like we did the original series after all)

#kp talks fop #fairly oddparents #fairly odd parents #review #spoilers #*even though i swear butch was stalking me when we were battling informing about airing timeslots...

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anukkuna · 3 days ago

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Tatort Stuttgart: Verblendung

In order to fully shift into Spatort mode, I decided to watch Tatort Stuttgart last night (also, because I enjoyed some of Lannert's and Bootz' earlier cases).

I'll admit: the opening scene had me hooked. Sebatian being held at gunpoint, taken hostage by a terrorist? Will he be okay? Who is this woman, and what's her motive? How will they get him out? Will they have to strike a bargain?

The movie runs for 90 minutes, and we finally see how the opening scene is resolved at minute 87. After that, though, it’s just... meh. Don’t get me wrong - I was engaged while watching, but the resolution felt like blowing up a balloon until it’s about to burst, only to let it go all of the sudden. It flies across the room with that pprrffffttt sound, then lands as a shriveled, crumpled blob on the floor, leaving you to wonder: well... was that it? What am I supposed to do with this?

I kept thinking about it last night and again this morning, trying to pinpoint why I felt that way. I’ve boiled it down to three issues that bothered me, ranked by increasing importance.

1. The timeline

I wish I had Lannert's and Vogt's efficiency?! I mean, while everyone else is stuck at the cinema where round about ever hour an hostage gets killed (let's estimate: over the course of four hours? Maybe five at most). So, over the course of a rather short spell of time, Vogt:

is woken up by Lannert hat home when he is already in bed

gets to the morgue

revisits old autopsy reports

reads all the way through conspiracy forums

keeps investigating on the computer in Lannert's and Bootz' office and

phones with Lannert on multiple occasions. Already a thight schedule...

...but Lannert himself?!

gets a hard 'abort mission!' for the date he's about to go on

investigates at the cinema for quite a while

drives to the JVA

plays out a whole prisoner's dilemma with Höhn and Krewitz

Inspects the kitchen and interviews the inmate who prepared the meal the day Jung died

plays out some more prisoner's dilemma

rushes back to the cinema to arrive for the big showdown

I'm sorry, but the more cuts there were between the cinema and the prison, I felt like: how is that possible? Is time a joke to you?

But, okay, I'm willing to put that aside for fiction's sake. What bothers me way more are the next two issues:

2. The closure didn't match the build up

Basically what I said in the intro. You make me wait 87(!) min to just have the SEK bursting in and then it's: oh, he's fine, he is fine, though. Threat resolved, all good, episode over, that's it. Thorsten is relatively unbothered in comparison to his earlier worries about Sebastian. It feels like even he knew it would all be fine in the end. It's also not as if there was any smart or interesting solution to the take down. The SEK basically just... waited for the right moment to burst in and in they went.

So, I felt disappointed at that. Like, the movie created this atmosphere of wait for it... wait for it...! - and then that's... it? Really, queen?

3. I think I learned some-... no, actually, I didn't?

I'm gonna say this beforehand: this might be a me-problem, but I'd like to know if anyone else feels this way or can relate to it.

You know, I like my characters and plots a bit complicated. I like it when a movie or series gives me something to keep musing about. When there's conflict, character developement; when it's not as easy or black-and-white as it seems at first glance.

For that matter, I liked Tatort Stuttgart: Videobeweis - because it featured a more complicated culprit, you could have empathy with her.

But here?

This Yandere-ax-crazy woman who's weak point is the imprisoned far-right pop star? It would have been possible to give her some more depth as well.

Everything just feels so blunt... even the two hostages who got killed in the cinema. When she shot the smirky, slimy policepresident (who we as viewers were obviously supposed to like less than the politician in the first voting)... and later, when she decided to shoot the right-leaning doctor, who snitched to the terrorist that Sebastian had talked to her companion... both of these were characters and choices, we as the audience were supposed to feel less sorry about.

But why?

At that point I thought they were getting somewhere with this. Like: maybe the terrorist had a point and there actually was foul play going on in the prison at some point? Maybe there was a police mole? Why else characterize her choices like that? (It's not like police violence and foul play in prinson are so completely out of the window, just for a start...).

But nothing really follows from this. Turns out: she was just an evil right-wing terrorist who believed the state had murdered other right-wing inmates.

I really wonder what audience they had in mind.

Normatively what I took from this:

Right wing extremism bad. Terrorism bad.

State shouldn't give in to blackmailing from terrorists.

Right wing people have their own conspiracy theories and right leaning people fall prey to them.

But these are almost common points and I knew them already??

Yes, I know, not every Tatort is supposed to make you ask the big questions, not every Tatort is a social critique, etc. But as I said before, I also didn't finde the closure exceptionally rewarding.

Be worried about that protagonist of yours for 90min? Like, was that the assignment? Dude, I already know that there'll be more episodes.

I wasn't even rewarded with some human moment between Lannert and Bootz. Like, Lannert could have felt bad that Sebastian went to the cinema in his stead. I would have liked some interesting character developement, a more emotional closure to the story, some human moment between our protagonists.

Maybe next time, I hope.

After all: "You can't always get, what you want."

#tatort stuttgart #sebastian bootz #thorsten lannert #tatort: verblendung #text post #my mad tatort musings #also - is sebastian bootz for the pedro pascal look or wtf is going on?

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fidenciocryptidcreechur · 11 days ago

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Watched that old Green Knight movie and it was unhinged i do have several ideas from it though

Whether anything comes of these ideas is another deal but whatever

A) nature based guy/being that is reborn every year on a cycle. Reaches an age of maturity in first cycle and then gets reborn cyclically at that age. Reborn appearance tends to reflect previous cycle (good healthy well fed cycle leads to a very good fresh rebirth and not so cared for cycle leads to weary tired looking rebirth etc, think carried over nutrients though overall reborn). Refuses or doesn't remember to tell the majority of those they know and thus everyone thinks he's cursed or is living a constant death loop but really they are just experiencing a normal event based on how spring and growth has a life death or growth rest period. The death refreshes em and increases longevity overall. Can technically die but considering the relatively short rebirth cycle plus the how easy it is to obtain enough care and food etc in a year (literally just be well fed before death) it's not likely and rare to actually be truly injured in a way that matters.

B) unhinged wandering friar but taur. Friar is less a choice and more so an occupation that allows em to go freely and not be overly questioned. Plus it's better than starving or having to pick up a job that requires more labor than they're willing to do. Friars are at least allotted places to rest and eat. Does odd jobs and anything else to get by. Does have a fair bit of spirituality but more so in that there's a more at play in the world and they aren't gonna anger whatever's out there too much with the mindset that those beyond mortals will pardon mortals needing mortal things (not gonna bemoan joy and pleasure, will eat, will take part in most common activities to destress, wine and good food, but very much what's needed and just to keep in health of body and mind) free spirit. Surprisingly gentle despite their chaos and jovial nature. Some kind of muskox or alpaca taur, perhaps even camel. Something big, sturdy, surprisingly mobile/dextrous and able to travel long distances while packing stuff.

C) guy who's always there at the right place at the right time. for someone else. But like he's weirdly stable, he's put together, he's kind, he's skilled. However he's just normal. Kinda. He's kind, he's stable, He's got a wide array of skills, smart. Sounds perfect sounds normal. He's always there somehow. There right when someone needs a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on or cry on, or needs help. He's actually just someone with really really weird luck. As far he's concerned he's perfectly normal. He gets up, goes for a morning jog, he has breakfast, eats lunch, drinks his daily water and does his chores puts in his hours for his pay. However he's got weird luck in that there's Always somewhere happening. He tends to be kinda spontaneous but mostly in a "i think I'll go to the left instead of the right :] just for a change of place :] i just feel like it :]" which is pretty normal and a nice low stakes changeup to freshen a routine. He does this regularly. And every time. There's something or someone that he ends up interacting with and helping or listening to or getting roped into. He's got Resting Friendly Face and Safe aura. He reads as approachable to most and he tends to look relatively unassuming on initial approach. Also due to all the Stuff that he keeps encountering plus his tendency to learn something new either directly in response to the incident or because he decided to switch up his routine randomly, he does tend to have a startlingly wide array of knowledge and skills. He doesn't stick with Every hobby and interest, mostly picks up stuff and then leaves it once he's satisfied enough or feels like he needs to switch to one of his other hobbies. Again, he's just there and as far as he's concerned he lives a perfectly normal life when really he's got a fuck ton of Lore and is also countless folk's Mysterious Benevolent Stranger in their time of need. To folks who he regularly hangs out with, he's the oddball that keeps getting into Situations. He's also regarded with suspicion quite often and this phenomenon happens most often with those he hangs out with the most or with those who are trying to hang out with him a lot. Because he really does just keep getting into impossible situations from the most inane banal tasks and routines. Normal Friendly Guy but with weird main character luck that makes him constantly be right there at the right time for someone else regularly.

D) unbothered competent feral bastard. This guy is not human per se. He's not beast. He's not right. He's not necessarily wrong either. Any goal is completed with efficiency and no bars about it. He can and will do anything but if it will be best in the long run and it matters not how it gets done. Not cruel. Not kind. They're loyal, they're smart, and they only care that them and theirs are protected. This means that if helping their enemy or wounding their ally gets their long run task done, that it keeps what they care for safe then it will be done. If standing back and letting an idiot, a loose cannon, get roughed up makes em learn then so be it. Saves trouble. Saves breath. It's not that they don't care. It's that they have other's on their mind and they can't afford idiocy that endangers others. A fight needs to be ended, then a fight will be ended. It must be emphasized that they're loyal and they care. They just don't care about concepts that get people killed, they don't care about unwritten rules like that. They care about who can be trusted and who will be someone that knows to enjoy life and can protect what they care about. Can they enjoy life and love life and live life and can they know when to choose who is worth wasting energy and breath for? He's feral but in the sense that he's not abiding by most societal stuff. It's inefficient and only to be upheld if it's useful.

High key don't mind if someone likes these because I'm more just plopping them down so they're a proper idea but i have no clue if I'll use em...

#ideas #fiden rants #fiden ideas

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eternalwritess · 9 months ago

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I think… It's time for romantic matchup? XD Hazbin Hotel, please. Sorry for the grammatical errors or/and misprints, if there are any, English is not my native language. May I ask to exclude Valentino, Adam, Lute and Niffty from the list?

Gender/pronouns: she/her, he/him, they/them (I am genderfluid. Thus, my preferred pronouns change)

Sexuality/preference: demisexual. I can be attracted to any gender, but maybe I prefer boys more

MBTI: INTP

Temperament: choleric-melancholic

DnD alignment: Chaotic-Neutral with Chaotic-Good tendency

Personality:

I often become the voice of reason in situations where everyone around is too emotional and acting impulsively. I also take a calm and thoughtful approach to problems and try to think about and analyze them neutrally and without unnecessary emotions. This quality helps me help someone find a solution to their problems, or at least support them emotionally. I have a high thirst for justice and I have a moderate empathy for others, and I can take action to help someone. I am careful not to open up to people right away, but study them well before doing so (although this has a negative side in the form of my extreme distrust, but I will write about this later). Despite my laziness, I can be full of inspiration and enthusiasm for things that interest me and very quickly learn something related to the subject of my interest, or direct my enthusiasm in a positive direction. I have a courage and independence, which I "charge" others with. I also have a sense of humor that my friends like (although some find it too vulgar). I am caring and attentive to those who are dear to me, and I try to act for their comfort. Loyalty to those I care about is also my strong point. I consider myself an optimist, but I also take into account the real facts.

People quite often really annoying me with their emotionality and a lot of different misconceptions that are in their minds (I deal with this very often, unfortunately). Against this background, I often look down on those around me, although I do not show it. This sounds a bit hypocritical against the background of the fact that irritability and short temper are also my traits that I (sometimes) find difficult to control. I have very big problems with trust, it's not easy for me to open up to others. I rarely show my real emotions, even to those with whom I am close, and try to appear calm. Another problem is my laziness and procrastination. I'm very sarcastic with people I don't like, or when I'm just in a very bad mood. I also have moments of low self-confidence. And finally, sometimes I get jealous. I have a fear of doing some things wrong combined with perfectionism, which may make me afraid to do something (for example, write a text) not well enough.

My life and mind are very chaotic - I have a habit of changing plans quickly, and for this reason I try not to make plans even for the next day.

My love languages: words of affirmation and physical touch. I can tell my mate a lot and often how much I love them, reminding them of this more often, I try to come up with pleasant affectionate nicknames, and I realy like praise them! I can compliment their positive traits to cheer them up and boost their self-esteem. Usually my affectionate nicknames are words that I associate with this person in a good way. I also often hug my mate and stroke them. I really like hugging. I have no problem with showing affection in public, and I even like to do it.

Hobbies: I am good at writing texts and composing stories, I like to come up with the plots of my stories and make their text pleasant to read. I also like to draw, but it's harder for me than writing. In drawing, I prefer to use a technique, that is, a drawing tablet with a screen, rather than paper and pencils. I also like to spend time playing video games and reading books or watching some movies and anime (my favorite genres are related to fantasy and science fiction... And when it comes to video games, I prefer RPG). I also like to study things related to my interests - astronomy, psychology, birds, reptiles.

Pet peeves: Well, I think the full list of such things would be too long… So here are some that I managed to remember. All of them are somehow related to the invasion of my personal space (for example, when someone stares at the screen of my phone or laptop and comments on what is there) without my permission. I also don't like being distracted from something I'm very focused on (for example, when I'm writing a text, and it's at this moment that someone suddenly wants to chat with me for no important reason). I am also annoyed by people who believe that they know everything and cannot make mistakes, and will never admit their mistakes.

Other facts: I have a fickle and confused sleep schedule (sometimes I sleep more than 16 hours, sometimes less than 4 hours, because I have short insomnia). Perhaps I have autism (at least self-diagnosis and self-observation have shown this). I don't understand social cues and hints well, and it's better for other people to tell me about their feelings directly (however, I can learn to understand how a person feels if I study their character well).

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙…

𝓥𝓸𝔁!

How you met? Yeah idk just go with it :)

Your voice of reason is much needed. I know how sometimes it seems like Vox is the voice of reason in the V's but uh... yeah no when Alastor gets involved he'll get straight up petty

Keep him in check will ya?

You being calm and analytical probably attracted him. He probably found it hot or smth-

"So how are you gonna deal with this one sweetie?"

Once he realized your thirst for justice he immediately kept you away from Val and Velvette knowing that you wouldn't like them all too much

Vulgar humor? Yeah he wouldn't mind. He'd join in

Once Vox realized you were studying him he probably found it fun, like a game and it reminded him of Alastor

"You've got your eye on me don't you?"

Contrary to popular belief I don't think that Vox is too emotional. He has a tech boy vibe about him and doesn't tend to be overly emotional. He has his more pitiful moments sure but honestly he's not as bad as some other characters

As for looking down on people... he needs an ego check. Go crazy

this is all im gonna do sorry-

#match up #hazbin hotel #matchups #matchup #hazbin #hazbin hotel matchups #hazbin hotel matchup #hazbin hotel match up #hazbin hotel match ups

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matrixmultiplication · 11 months ago

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[What is the meaning of life? - Part 1]

First post here... Hello World!

3 AM in the morning and I am contemplating about the meaning of life. I don't even know how or where to start.

I'm 20s adult, recent math-CS grad. Currently working as SWE (Software Engineering) and I hate this job a lot. Oh yeah... Let's start with my journey so far (tbh I don't even know if I can call it a journey or not because my life is very average)

When I was in college, I enjoyed learning a lot of things. Of course, this is why I majored in math (pure math to be specific). Not because it gives me money or anything, but because I enjoyed learning how things work and why it exists the way it is (kinda sound like philosophy majors lmao).

You know those "useless" formulas we learned in high school? -- for example, trigonometric formula? matrix determinant (in linear algebra) why the heck do we need it? I started learning the reason why these kinds of things existed and needed when I was in college.

Not gonna lie, doing these useless things gives me a sense of joy. It's like I discovered the meaning of everything. Well, some of you might hate math, so think about this... You watched really long movies and things started to come together in the end. The plot twist, some actions/choices that a character made that doesn't make any sense until now. It's like a big revelation right? That is the same feeling I have when I play around with math.

Well, what about CS (Computer Science)? Well, to be honest I started pretty late compared to other students. Most kids started learning some form of CS concept at a very young age (like using Scratch or something-- I think I got the name right)

While, I started learning python in the first year of college because it's a mandatory class in my university. To me, this field is like playing games, and solving a puzzle using logic. I had a lot of fun in class so I decided to stick with CS too (along with math).

Fast forward to the last semester, I found my true love-- Computer Graphic. A field that was made for me. A perfect blend between math and computer science.

What is computer graphic? Well, first it is NOT the same as graphic design (I got that question a lot haha). Have you ever played games and curious why we have a really nice graphic? Or have you seen those RTX on RTX off meme? (I gotchu gamers ;p) Those are computer graphic! Basically, it translates the 0,1s to the pixel we see on the screen with the help of GPU!

Going back to my story, I love this class so much, I enjoyed every moment of it. Never skip the class. In fact, if I can have a job that is related to computer graphic, my life would be fulfilled.

So why not get this job instead of SWE? I would love to but I can't. In short, it's a very niche field and there is no market for that (+ I'm just a beginner and still learning. Most places are looking for senior level or something like that).

This is why I ended up with SWE, which I hate... The job is very repetitive. To me, it feels like doing an excel calculation, which is pretty boring. Sure, it's a high paying job but I don't really care about money that much. My goal is not that I want to be rich, but to have enough money to live comfortably.

Everyday is the same... We have business goals to fulfill and we do it. I have no interest in making all the rich guys richer. I don't care about investing in the stock markets like some people around my age do. I hate corporate life so much. Every day is the same. Going to work 9-5, coming back home feeling drained. I lose motivation to do things I was once enjoyed. Playing games doesn't make me happy like it used to be.

This made me start questioning myself more and more. Whether I am wasting my time or not.

*Sigh* it's almost 4 am now... I'm gonna log off and write more tomorrow.

#diary #meaning-of-life

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whatyourusherthinks · 1 year ago

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Night Swim Review

It's beneath the surface. The saying is beneath the surface, the tagline should be 'Everything You Fear Is Beneath The Surface'. I mean this nitpick is probably the most meaningless nitpick ever, but I had to see this poster almost everyday for a month and I'm right.

Full disclosure, I am extremely picky when it comes to horror. I don't find slashers, ghosts, demonic possession, or gore movies scary usually. But even without that, I think everyone's expectations for Night Swim were low. The trailer was bad, and I think we all know the only movies that come out in January are ones that the corporate overlords have no expectations for (fairly or not). Let me put it this way. Y'know that meme of John Wayne throwing a kid in the river? Our theater put that scene in the preshow for the movie. That kinda set the tone for what people were expecting from this movie. Also that meme is ruined for me now that I have full context if that scene.

What's The Movie About?

A sick former baseball player and his family buy a new house with a pool, which seems to heal the dad but then creepy stuff happens. Because of course it does.

What I Like.

The big thing that stuck out to me was the explanation of what was happening with the pool. I won't spoil, since it's probably the only reason to see the movie, but it was kinda cool. There was also two really neat things that the pool could do, but that's tied into the explanation. I really dug the family dynamic in this movie. There was conflict, but it seemed like regular family conflict and nobody acted too cruel or obnoxious towards one another. (The sister gets kinda bitchy at one point but she makes up for it in the end.) There was a weird pool repair man that made me laugh. I'd hire him. And the editing, while nothing crazy, was pretty good. Shocking considering how bad the editing in the trailer was.

What I Don't Like.

So I liked the explanation of what was happening with the pool, but it fails to explain why the pool does what is doing the way that it is doing it. (If that make sense.) Also there's a plot hole involving a family pet that means the motivation of the villain is a lie or that the explanation is wrong. But hey, what's a horror movie without a villain with arbitrary and inconsistent rules? Now this may be a me thing, but I found the horror sequences in the pool to be more annoying rather that tension-building, although I can't quite put my finger on why. Perhaps because they are incredibly cliched. Weirdly, the middle of the movie almost becomes a inspirational sports movie when the dad realizes that he's getting better. Hey Night Swim, if I wanted to watch a Kevin Costner baseball movie, I'd go back to drinking bleach. This is absolutely a nitpick, there is a weird relator lady who isn't nearly as funny as the pool repairman but has like four times the amount of screen time. And the ending is so incredibly abrupt that it kind of made me laugh.

Final Summation.

So I learned after watching the movie that apparently it was a short film before Blumhouse bought it and turned it into a full length movie. And while I haven't seen the original, that makes a shit load of sense. The kernel of an idea is there and it's sound, but there's a lot of generic or questionable choices around it. I honestly don't even know if all that is enough for me to reject the movie, since that kernel is really interesting. Well I supposed the appropriate tie breaker for a horror movie is thinking about what scared me in the movie...

Oh. Oh dear.

Yeah the most I jumped in Night Swim was when another guest in the theater coughed. It's simply not scary. I don't even think the PG-13 is to blame, since it's clear that all the stuff that doesn't work in the movies was added to the original concept. That's the unfortunate fate of Night Swim. Maybe it should've been left alone.

#Night Swim #Rejected Movies

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sleeplessregret · 2 years ago

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what am i even doing here? dunno, doesn't matter i guess. just wasting time away. wasting time i could spend sleeping, learning japanese, educating myself. but who am i joking. trying out stuff like this to somehow change my life. the life, that i'm living for years without being satisfied, but also without feeling a great enough urge to change. to actually do something. sometimes i want to call my state of mind "suffering". but i usually refrain of doing so. i mean i don't wanna sound like those edgy kids. and i know people who probably do worse. so who am i to complain. and since all this "suffering" is somewhat self-inflicted, there is no way I actually could complain. so here i'm sitting. deep in the night, trying out something i'll be abandoning by tomorrow but who knows. i guess it could be some form of therapy when done correctly. but how could you even do something like this "correct". so here i am, just writing down everything that comes to mind in my broken and flawed english. a language i am getting sonicated with more than with my mother tongue but still not able to speak properly. embarrasing ain't it. searching for elemantal words, anxiously typing words into translators to confirm my thought of what they mean. but whatever. weekends over, nothing achieved, nothing new for me. the biggest achievements nowadays are finishing anime shows. actually watched/finished a couple great ones recently. especcially "rain town" - a ten minute short movie. really made me feel all sorts of emotions. just a beautiful experience. and since anime is currently my main way of experiencing positive feelings, it is more of an escape from the real world than ever - at least so it feels. and well, interacting and spending time with a single person is currently the only other way of actually feeling anything. i'm very greatful for that time, although i can't really show these sort of emotions, which is quite a burden to me. especially when it comes to family. so many things i am truly grateful for, but cannot express these sort of emotions make me feel like a horrible person. since i'm so rarely able to pay them back. makes me feel like i'm really not deserving these kind of people around me. and since i'm already losing these close people slowly, i wouldn't be surprised if at some point noone is left.

man what a stupid human being am i. what does it take, that i will actually change something. losing weight, finding interests, getting in touch with people. so many big goals, but i can't even start with the little things. i'm failing at the literal first steps as if it doesn't affect me. like if everything is already fine and all those things are just nice little extras. but they are fucking essentials. but its just the result of my current lifestyle. the result of always telling myself that everything is fine. that everything somehow will work out. and the worst thing is, it mostly did. it's not like a level in a game, where you can't continue unless you learned a certain trait, unless you accomplished a certain something. life just goes on. and you can proceed with very little skills, with a weak mindset, with little people close to you. with an unhealthy lifestyle. no one is holding you back. and that is exactly my demise. i work better when i get instructions. when i get told what to do and in the best case punished if i can't do it. what sounds pathetic is exactly that. i just know, that the current circumstances are seemlingly not enough to flip a switch inside of me. doing stuff for myself is always harder, than when doing it for someone else. and since this someone doesn't exist for me, i wonder if something will ever change.

just listening to a chill stream right now and hearing the streamer ask chat if they had some special skills. while obviously not receiving serious responses, i couldn't even think of a serious one. at least of nothing, that i'm not tired of myself yet. like yeah, i can calculate big numbers in my head...wow. nice to show off, but nothing of worth. being considered smart by others, but that is a simple illusion for people, who think a good result in a common iq-test means, you're actually smart. playing tennis on an insignificant level for half my life, but not really being able to play at all in the last years. or i guess i could, but me not living at a place for more then six months because of studies doesn't really help with settling down in a place and building some sort of foundation for my life. but even if i had this opportunity right now, i couldn't pull it off anyway. so again, i'm just trying to escape into excuses, why i apparently can't do anything about something like this. finding excuses is a vital task for me in general, because once i run out of them, i can't even justify my actions to myself anymore. a truly horrifying thought. actually getting confronted with responsibilities without having reasons to procrastinate is something a person like me fears at least as much as those responsibilities themself. but yeah, writing about it helps, right? i don't feel like it. i'm not really getting as emotional invested in this as i imagined - maybe hoped. nah, i didn't expected anything from this in the first place. and since i most likely won't look back at these texts anyway, those a just words left to rot in a distant corner, where i'll never take a glance back at them anymore. is this how you say it? probably not. whatever. not really feeling myself thinking about this stuff right now.

i mean, at this point i already did a solid job anyway. that's what i'm telling myself. talking about my problems is generally known as a good thing. and i just did that. so that was already a good thing. an illusion, i'll use for now, so i can feel some sort of satisfaction. and since it might actually be a good start i'll just prevent any further debate about this in my head. i know it's not enough. i know that i probably won't continue this anyway. because this is something i do solely for myself. and these things don't last long. never did.

it's nearly 3am now. wasted another chance of getting enough sleep. but who am i joking. even without writing this, i would still be awake, drowning myself in distractions so i can get the feeling of experiencing things. things more important than sleep. which they aren't. but it's too late for being rational anyways.

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saal-school-project · 2 years ago

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Part 2

6th grade

In 6th grade, I changed schools, so I didn't have many friends for the first few months, but my notebooks kept me company. I might sound like a loser here, but bear with me. I was really into horror games, movies, and stories back then, and it was around the creepypasta craze, so it didn't take long for me to join in on that too. (Creepypastas are short horror stories on the internet, btw), but keep in mind that I still didn't know any English, so my options were limited to whatever was available in Turkish, which wasn't much at all. So soon I ran out of actual creepypastas to read, and I was left with whatever self-insert romance fanfiction was written about the creepypasta characters. Great, now I'm admitting my dark past for a school project. To be honest, I don't regret it because the lack of good content available in Turkish eventually led to me learning English. There were a lot of creepypastas based on video game characters. I liked watching horror game let's play on YouTube, and I was really proud when I managed to pirate Minecraft to my mom's phone (admitting crimes now). So by extension, I got interested in video games in general, so in the summer of 6th grade, I decided to become a REAL GAMER by making a Steam account and buying some games. I also bought an ininal card because I didn't feel like convincing my mom to use her credit card. I exactly transferred 50 TL to my card and, after some not-so-thorough research, decided to buy the following games: Undertale because people recommended it to me; Hollow Knight because I'm a big fan of 2D animation; Don't Starve Together because I don't remember why; and Deus Ex: Human Revolution because I got leftover money and it was on a really big sale, so my cousin urged me to buy it.

I would try to play these games throughout the 6th grade's summer, but there were some problems. First of all, none of these games are in Turkish (I'm not sure, but that's what I remember; I'm too lazy to check). That fact didn't really matter for games like Hollow Knight and Don't Starve Together (as there wasn't much of a story), but it mattered for Undertale. Oh, I know, I could just use a Turkish patch (unofficial translation); it's not that I couldn't figure out how to do it. It's just that the game recently got a new update, and the patch didn't work with that update. As for the other games, Hollow Knight was pretty hard for a kid who never really played any proper video game other than Minecraft. On top of that, I didn't have a controller at the time, so I had to play it with the puny keyboard my laptop had, and that made it unplayable for me. As for the other two, I didn't like them very much. There was a learning curve to Don't Starve Together, and it just felt like Minecraft without the creative mode (which happens to be the part I like the most). I didn't even bother checking out Deus Ex because I randomly bought it and I don't like first-person shooters. So much so for becoming a gamer, I guess. But one day, while still in the summer holiday, there was a problem with the wifi for a few days, and it really got boring. So I played the games I downloaded before to kill time. I started playing Undertale. I looked up the words I didn't know (which were the majority of them) in a dictionary or something, and I wrote them down along with their meanings in one of my journals. I was pretty used to writing thanks to school being so boring, so my hand never really got tired of writing pages and pages of words. and I really took a liking to the game too! It took me a long time to beat it since I literally had to pause to write some words for every single dialog line, but I enjoyed it, so it didn't feel like a chore. Eventually, our wifi came back, but I continued playing. I also started watching more English content. I watched Lele Pons again, something I'm not proud to admit, but the lightness of the language used in her videos made it perfect material for a beginner like me. I also texted with the cleverbot. Lately, the chatbots are much more advanced, so Cleverbot isn't so clever anymore compared to them. I can't remember why exactly, but cleverbot had something to do with creepypastas I think. like there was a correlation between Cleverbot and Ben Drowned (a creepypasta character) for some reason? It's been years; I don't remember.

I talked with the bot so much that I could literally predict what they would say with 99% accuracy, so it became boring, and I stopped talking to them. By the end of that summer, I had replayed Undertale for a different route and, for the first time, noticed that I could actually understand what it said without having to look anything up. It was a weird feeling in the best way possible. and I decided that I wanted to make a game too. The summer ended, and I started 7th grade.

#creepypasta phase #first time buying steam games #im definitely using tags wrong #probably over explained a little #cleverbot

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manofmanymons · 9 months ago

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apologies @/gaelicspectre bc I know I'm never gonna have the motivation to make a whole fic out of the idea but I WILL go on a long ass hc ramble

see my original thought was literally just "what would each of their lives have been like if the other was never born" but now I'm thinking just AU where I pull a Frontier and they were separated when they super little and each don't know the other exists

Their mom took off to the middle-of-nowhere shrine town before Miu was even born and Kaito got left behind with their dad

This is totally not just me realizing I didn't want to think about the implications of how the stalker situation would have gone in a universe where Kaito doesn't exist

I think they'd both be really rebellious, doing a bunch of crap to try to get their parents to notice them. Since their parents are both single and trying to raise kids by themselves, they're pretty much never home, and when they are home, they're too exhausted to parent. Because of this, both siblings are really lonely and desperate for attention.

Having been raised in the small town all her life, Miu doesn't get bullied for being a weird city kid. She has friends, but she's not very close to any of them, largely bc she's the only kid in town that actually believes in the Kemonogami. I see her as still being a bit of the class oddball bc of that, but the other kids don't dislike her or anything, they're just like "ah, Miu's being Miu again." But since none of them believe her and no one wants to listen to her share Kemonogami stories she still feels lonely.

Kaito, being raised in the city, also has friends. He's not close to them either. They only hang around bc they think all the trouble he gets in is cool ("Aren't you afraid your parents will kill you for that?" "Nah." "Whoa..."), and he's pretty sure none of them would really like him anymore if he said he'd rather stay home playing animal crossing under the covers than go to a party. He's got a reputation that he hates to uphold, cuz he if doesn't, he'll just be even more alone than he already is.

Both of them constantly feel like there's a hole in their heart that they can't figure out how to fill. Miu wishes someone would play along with her whims and do what she wants to for once. Kaito's sick of feeling like his life doesn't have a purpose.

Without a big brother as an excuse to play with bugs or roughhouse or get dirty, Miu's mom is always on her ass about what is and isn't lady like. She cut her hair super short once to look like a boy in her class who she thought was cool, and her mom went ballistic. Without a little sister around as an excuse to own plushies or play dress up or watch cute kiddie movies, Kaito's dad is always on his ass about a what a man should or shouldn't do. He traded a toy car for a stuffed cat at school when he was little, but his dad threw it away as soon as he got home. If he fished it back out later on and hid it in his closet, no he didn't.

Miu's favorite local tall tale is the one about the shrine maiden who was spirited away by beast gods 50 years ago. She often daydreams about being taken away someday, too, to a beautiful world full of weird and wacky monsters. Maybe in a place like that, she could finally fit in.

Kaito overheard the weird goggle-wearing kid in his english class talk about staying up late watching romcoms with his mom once and immediately wished they could be friends. Someone that big of a dork probably wouldn't mind that he's kind of a dork, too. One of his actual "friends" overheard the same thing and only laughed and said "what a loser." Kaito pretended to agree, but he finds himself staring at that boy a lot ever since then.

At first, summer camp did NOT sound like something Kaito would be interested in. When he realized the alternative was being alone at home for hours every day with nothing to do, however, he figured he had nothing to lose.

When Miu heard that a group of camp kids were in town in part to learn about Kemonogami, she excitedly set off to find someone who would actually want to hear her talk about them for once and maybe even come with her to that shrine that no one lets her go to.

When they end up in the other world, despite not knowing she's his sister, Kaito is still overprotective of Miu. She IS the youngest one there, after all, and maybe, just maybe her cute cat ear beanie reminds him a little bit of his plushie. In a world where he hasn't been driving her crazy for years, Miu actually enjoys having Kaito fuss over her. In a weird way, it feels like what she imagined having a normal parent is like. Kaito, for his part, is just thrilled to feel needed.

Opposite to canon, they always agree with each other about what to do and where to go, and they both always choose to stick together over everyone else.

Despite not growing up together, they still have some similar mannerisms and make a lot of the same facial expressions, which the other kids all pick up on as odd. Their hair and eyes are the same color, too, and the longer the others look at them the more they can't help thinking they look a lot alike. It becomes a running joke that they must be long lost siblings, but no one actually thinks it's true.

They do get awfully suspicious once they find out that Miu only has a mom and Kaito only has a dad, but they assume it must be a coincidence. This kind of thing just doesn't happen outside of movies, it's all far too perfect. They do both think they'd rather like to be siblings, though, so they'll pretend to just be doing a bit when they act like family.

I think it'd be fun if in this AU it was left open ended whether they're actually siblings or not. Because at the end of the day, it wouldn't matter to either of them. Whether they're blood related or not, by the time they reach the end of their digimon adventure, they think of each other as siblings anyways.

...you ever think how terrible Kaito would be if he didn't have a little sister

Like yeah he'd probably be less traumatized but he'd also be an only child of neglectful parents with 0 reason to be responsible or try to set a good example

Or how horrible a Miu without an older brother would be

Same life but with no one on her side, no one taking care of her, no unconditional love

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magic-hcs · 2 years ago

Note

Would love a matchup~

Some basics:

-She/her

-5.7" (172cm) tall

-Fair skinned, blue eyes, blond medium length hair, glasses, a bit of soft squishy chub

-Pansexual

Who am I?

I'm on the autism spectrum, so I'm often shy and quiet to begin with, especially in crowds. Unless you mention something I'm interested/passionate about then expect sparkles as I rant. Then get profusely embarrassed and blushy after said rant. Never out and about without my earbuds/headphones, listening to music keeps me from getting over stimulated.

I love to dye my hair all sorts of colors. I mostly tend to stick to reds and purples, but occasionally change things up with another color, blue, green, pink, rainbow. Would totally dye my hair the same color as their magic for fun.

Don't follow fashion trends, I wear what I like. Can go from wearing all black to colourful outfits. Likes layers, often wear dresses and skirt. Lots of knitted clothes. Soft cottagecore. Doesn't wear much makeup day to day, but when I'm going out or during special occasions I'll go all out and look absolutely bomb every time. Self conscious about my looks and struggle a bit with my body but still try to wear what I want.

I prefer home dates, but love to every now and then go out, cinema, go out to eat, shopping, hiking or other fun activities that's not too high energy*.

Struggle with ME*(chronic fatigue syndrome), so I have good days and bad days. Only have really bad days if I push myself too much physically. Mostly just manage to move myself from bed to couch. So wont always be able to keep up with chores or go out when I have bad days. Try to do some crafts but don't always have the energy for it. Despite it all I have a positive outlook and always try my best to make the best of the day.

I'm bad at initiating physical touch at first, but I love being close to my partner. You know I'm crushing on somone when I start leaving touches and once we're steady I'll start leaning into them for comfort when I'm getting overstimulated. They become my safe haven. Mostly just physical with a partner. Love being together and touching in some way, if were doing something together or doing separate things in the same space. Arms touching, leaning into each other, head/legs on lap. If their head is on my lap and I have a free hand, I will be softly caress their head, chest or somewhere else. Occasionally I will need some alone time to decompress.

Very creative and have all sorts of creative hobbies. Always interested in learning new things and can often spend hours learning and watching videos of my current hyperfixation.

I run my own little online store were I sell my creations.

On to my hobbies, I'll make this short and sweet~

-Knitting, Crochet, Jewelry making, Beading, Clay, Painting, Resin, Sticker making, Graphic design, Illustration, Video games(pc, switch), movies and series(live action and animated), Reading, Writing, Baking, Sewing, Photography, 3D design, Playing my Kalimba(thumb piano)

- I love to collect cute things, figures, trinkets, miniatures, plushies, scented candles, essential oils and fairy lights. Have way too many soft, fluffy blankets and pillows.

My love language for giving is quality time and gifts(love to give handmade gifts to people I love), for receiving it's acts of service and gifts(I don't care about expensive stuff, just the fact they saw something no mater what it is and thought of me enough to buy/make, gives me the big fuzzies).

A deal breaker for me is bad hygiene, especially not washing those hands or regularly brush their teeth (this might lean more towards humans rather then skeleton monsters). Somone who doesn't like animals, I come with at least 2 cats and a dog. Wants to have pet rats again.

I love when my hair is played with, having somone run their fingers through my hair and/or messaging my scalp and I'll immediately turn into a puddle. Absolutely adore the sound of purring, one of the best sounds in the world.

Dislike strong smells and hard, stiff fabrics. Haven't worn jeans in over 10 years.

Not particularly any physical traits I'm attracted to, it's all about their personality. I love someone who can make me laugh, someone who I can be silly with. Somone who will help and support me during my bad days without complaint. Somone who I can relax and be lazy with, but also somone who can push me a bit to go out more, small daily walks (love a little quiet nature walks).

I'm ok with multiple matches and love me a cute poly~

Can't wait to see who you match me with 💚 Hopefully I didn't rant on to much >w<;;

Gonna start off and say I love your essay about yourself, organized enough to make finding stuff I need easier! And you don’t have to worry, you didn’t rant too much!

Let’s do this!

Matchups are closed!

~~matching…~~matching~….~matching~~…~DING~

You match with Syrup!

✨✨

(US Papyrus): Syrup:

I feel like Syrup knew you from one of his brother’s short lived clubs (Sky loves trying out all kinds of hobbies but to prevent him getting too bored of it he cycles through them) or from his D&D club/campaigns. So Syrup sees you around sometimes, at first he hadn’t talked to you often, he heard all kinds of good stuff about you from Sky so he got curious. Then one day he or his brother mention something and you start gushing. And oh boy, oh boy, Syrup practically sees you start to glow as you rant, and then you get embarrassed and blushy and Syrup can’t help but find you adorable. He acts on the urge to make a joke to lighten up the situation and brush off your embarrassment because there’s no need to be embarrassed about ranting about things you love. And your laugh is like music to his non-existing ears.

You guys become the best of friends, I can tell you that. Syrup encourages you to use your headphones/earbuds to help you out from getting overstimulated. He gets it, his own coping mechanism to deal with overwhelm-ness, stress and frustration is to suck on lollipops. Everyone got their own things. Very early on you two made a system where Syrup either draws your attention by waving when he wants to talk to you, or he sends a message to the device you’re currently using to draw your attention. It’s so neither of you get frustrated.

As everyone knows, Syrup is one clumsy boy. So he falls often. Meaning he can fall into a crush quite easily. It’s a tiny crush that makes him a bit more clumsy and stuttery/easily flustered but those he can get over quickly. However as he gets to know you, he trips further and ends up falling hard.

He loves the colors you dye your hair in. Syrup likes to guess what new color you’re dying your hair with. If you dye your hair the same color as Syrup’s magic then you succeeded in crashing his system! He straight up freezes as his entire face erupts in a darkish orange color and a high pitched whistle leaves him.

Loves anything you wear. I’m legit, this boy believes you’re gorgeous, he adores you in whatever you choose to wear. As long as you like it and are comfortable in it. Be prepared to get your chub worshiped because come on, an amazing pillow is right there and it’s made of you. Syrup would be crazy to not love that.

While we are on the topic, he loves to nap on you.

The moment you give him any sign of an ok he’s all over you with touch. Syrup is a cuddle bug true and through, you can’t change my mind. However before you two are together, it’s more small touches and sitting closer together. The moment you guys are together he goes full on cuddles and snuggles. He blushes while he initiates contact at first but the more he does it the less flustered he gets. Until you start initiating touch back. Syrup goes straight back to being flustered. The first time you leaned on him he swears he had died and gone to heaven or something.

Syrup too sometimes needs his alone time.

On the bad days Syrup will either just join you on the couch or message you memes and joke around to make you smile.

Once he learns you have your own store he’s buying stuff from it, he already loves stuff you make he just wanna show his support. That being said, if you made him something he will treasure it forever.

He likes animals and he wouldn’t mind pets, him and Sky were planning to get a dog anyways. He loves to play with your critters.

This boy will deadass giggle at your blunt/brutally honest comments. He loves that a lot about you.

✨✨

#200 followers matchup event #matchup event #matchup #undertale #papyrus #undertale x reader #underswap papyrus x reader #underswap papyrus #underswap #syrup #papyrus x reader

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tnystrk-exe · 4 years ago

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Estocolmo

Hannibal x Reader

Masterpost

Warnings: Smut 18+ thigh riding, fingering, oral, daddy kink, plot to make up for my first attempt at writing smut.

Word count: 6.8k

Chapter One

“Fucking hell.” You sighed as you looked at the still tall stack of essays that needed grading. “I’m never getting through this.”

Your stomach grumbled, signaling it was time for a break. Stretching, the quiet was interrupted by the sound of your bone’s protest from sitting in one position for hours. It was nights like these you had regretted your choices. Sure you had known Professor Jacob loved to torture his students with too much work, but when you took the job as his assistant you assumed that he’d shoulder some of the weight. A ridiculous thought now that you’ve experienced working with him. Why should he even think of grading an assignment when he had a perfect little lackey doing it for him? That was a non question. He had been strict about the work not leaving his office, which meant you had accidentally fallen asleep in his office more than often than you would have liked. The pile of work never seemed to diminish.

Walking out the office, you thought briefly of the joy you would feel when you’d never have to see it again. These long corridors would be a thing of the past in just a few, short months. Then you’d probably go to the city and struggle for a while but at least you would be free from here. As much as you prided yourself for getting through the first round of college, the walls of the building gave you more of an annoyed feeling than anything.

Pushing open the door to the teachers lounge, you made a beeline for the fridge. The leftover pizza already seemed like a feast until you noticed it was nowhere to be seen. “Hannibal,” you whined to the empty room as you closed the fridge.

“Yes, darling?”

You startled, immediately turning around to face him, a mischievous smile was plastered on his lips. Usually your missing dinner meant to head over to his office. It wasn’t typical, but the two of you had managed a comfortable friendship between the shared late nights. Though, you suspected he’d stay longer than necessary to accompany you in the empty building. “Would you mind telling me where my dinner went, handsome?” You asked, raising a brow at him.

“Old pizza can hardly be considered dinner. Come,” he motioned to sit next to him at the table, “I’ve got a better meal prepared for you nonetheless.”

“Or maybe you just need to learn to appreciate the simple things,” you quipped as you took your seat.

“And you, the finer.”

You gave him an obvious look over, “I’d say I appreciate you plenty enough.”

Being so forward wasn’t usually in your cards. However Hannibal had always been a gentleman and it had been fun to tease at him a bit. He never complained, often just acknowledging what you said with a raised brow or chuckle. Still there was always some truth in jokes and you’d be lying to say that he was anything less than tempting. Especially in the dark grey suit and dried blood red shirt of his. ‘No’ wouldn’t come to mind if he ever offered.

“Naughty, Miss LN,” he chided you, “What shall we do with you?”

“What do you want to do with me?”

“Eat your dinner,” he said, humor in his voice as he shook his head.

You choked back a comment about him just wanting to see your mouth stuffed, deciding it was too much of a push. Instead you just opened the lunchbox he placed in front of you. Hannibal watched you expectantly as you took a bite of the meat.

Closing your eyes, you savored the bite. It had been a while since you had something home cooked. “Han... I’m going to miss you most. I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you. Delicious, as always.”

“I’m sure you’ll do just fine.” He went back to work on his own stack of papers as you ate. “Though, I’m not sure I’m ready to allow you to live off street food once we part.”

“Guess we’re gonna have to find me another man that insists on throwing away my perfectly good food to serve me home cooked meals.”

Hannibal left some remarks on a paper before pushing it to the side. “You could always come learn a few things. Maybe I’ll rest better knowing you know how to make yourself a couple of decent meals. Any guesses for the meat?”

It was a strange guessing game, but you indulged him, he was just eccentric. “Oh, definitely human,” you teased, making sure to pick up some spinach and artichoke in the next bite, “Probably had a boring name like David.”

“Close. It was Richard,” he corrected.

“Beef, it was the Rolex of all farm animals hand picked by you and I’m very grateful you shared some with me,” you smiled at him, “So how are things going with Baltimore?”

“I’ve found a beautiful home. The office, however, seems to be harder to find.”

“I’m sure you’ll find the perfect one.” Your phone started ringing. Grabbing it from your pocket, you looked at the screen. Mom. “They’re making this unnecessarily difficult,” you sighed to yourself.

Hannibal looked at you with peaked interest as you shut off your phone and pushed it away. “Is something troubling you?”

“My parents aren’t taking too kindly to the no contact rule. It’s the tenth call today.”

“You’ve cut them off?”

“I thought about what you had said,” you shrugged, “I’m tired of always having to get them out of troubles and be their ATM when I don’t have enough for myself. It’s just too much on me right now. Between school assignments, Jacob’s work pile, and my other part time, it’s all just suffocating. They keep trying to use my grandfather’s death as a leverage to make me feel bad about not talking to them now, but they just want some money. I don’t want to feel guilty about this but I can’t help it.”

“Don’t,” he placed his hand over yours, “You deserve to feel taken care of and appreciated. They aren’t providing you with that now. Especially now when they use the death of the person who raised you as leverage,” he shook his head, making a disgusted sound, “It’s for your own well-being that you take some time to breathe and be young. They provide too much stress…” Hannibal fell silent. “I’ve suggested this before but i-“

You gave his hand a gentle squeeze before pulling away. “I’m not taking your money. We’re friends. Money complicates things. Muddies the waters.”

“Friends help each other,” he reminded you, “I’ve already told you I wouldn’t want any payment.”

“But I’d still feel like I owe you.” You shook your head, “It wouldn’t feel right to me. I’m fine. I promise. Though, if you’re so willing to help me with something, I wouldn’t say no to those cooking lessons. They could be fun.”

He spared you a smile, “It would be my pleasure to teach you what I know.”

“And I’d never deny your pleasure,” your mouth spoke before you could think about it, “Sorry.”

“I don’t deny myself pleasure either,” he said, amused. “You’re fine. Now, how about we meet on Sunday? I’ll have time to figure out a full meal and gather all of the ingredients.”

“Great!” You ignored the heat that still lingered on your face, “I- um, do you need me to bring anything?”

“Nothing at all, I’ll make sure to take care of everything. All you need to do, sweet girl, is bring yourself and an appetite.”

You stifled a pleased smile at the term of affection. “I’ll make sure to do that,” sparing a glance to the clock, you frowned, “I should probably get back to work on those essays.”

“Why don’t we work on them together?” He suggested. “My colleague is notorious for drowning you in his work. I can help you sort through it all and you can have a restful Saturday without Micheal’s added stress.”

“I really can’t ask that of you. You already have enough work as it is.”

“We’ll work together. First your work, then mine. What happened to never denying my pleasure?”

Your eyes widened, but you laughed all the same. Maybe a while more in his company wouldn’t be so bad. “Fine. Hold me to my words, but it’s only going to cause you a headache. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. These new kids are… something else.”

“They’re nothing,” he stood, grabbing his papers in one hand, “Meet me in my office. We can be more comfortable there and I may have stowed away a bottle of wine.”

“What would I do without you Doctor Lecter?”

“You have arrived at your destination,” the robotic voice informed you as you parked.

You took in the mansion of a home. It was too big for someone that lived alone. The thought made you shiver. Homes should be filled with life, not empty space. Then again, he was a fan of dinner parties, extravagant ones at that, so you supposed there was life in those walls on occasion. The home itself reminded you of the houses in old movies. Ones where the lightning would strike at just the right moment as a warning to stay away. But this was real life and there was no lightning, just a sun setting on a near perfect day.

Without a warning telling you to keep away, you grabbed the gift bag and stepped out of your car. He had said to bring nothing, but you couldn’t resist a simple gift. The ties in the bag had taken out a decent chunk from your pocket, but he deserved them. Between agreeing to give you cooking lessons and helping you out with grading every so often, the simple pieces of fabric meant nothing. Besides, it was a two way gift, he’d get more of the patterned ties he was fond of and you’d get to see him in the darker colors you liked on him, knowing he’d feel compelled to wear them to show you his gratitude.

Knocking on the door, you waited a couple of minutes before he emerged. “YN, just in time. Please, come in,” he stepped to the side, “I’ve looked forward to this all day.”

You smiled and stepped past him. “I have too. Entertained myself a bit today by finding you a gift.”

“Darling, you shouldn’t have.”

Nervousness bit at you slightly, a bit self conscious they’d be too cheap for his taste. Too late to back out of it, you handed over the bag. “You’ve always been so kind and I really appreciate everything. Let me do something for you.”

He set the bag on the nearby table, laying out the ties to get a better look at them. “They’re all lovely,” he ran a finger across the fabric of a maroon one, “Fond of me in darker colors, YN?”

“What can I say?” You shrugged, “We catch ourselves spending a lot of time together. Why not make you a decent piece of eye candy?”

“Inappropriate,” he chided you, before signaling you to follow after him.

“You just wear them so well, Doctor Lecter.”

Shrugging off his navy suit coat, he draped it over a chair, making quick work of rolling up his sleeves. “Ready to get your hands dirty, my little sous-chef?”

“What are we making?” You asked, looking at his kitchen wide eyed. It was definitely bigger than your measly studio apartment.

“Frisee aux lardons, duck with a pomegranate-citrus glaze. I took the liberty of preparing a blood orange sorbet for dessert.”

“I have a proposal.”

“Yes?”

“We don’t do any of that and just have dessert for dinner.”

“No,” he gave you an amused glance, “There’s more pleasure in waiting for things. Why don’t you start washing up the vegetables and I’ll start preparing the duck?”

You stuck your tongue out at his back but set to your work. “This is what I get for befriending a charming old guy.”

“Keep going the way you are and our next meal together will be langue d’Agneau en papillote.”

“That can’t be a threat if I don’t know what that means,” you quipped, setting aside an endive.

“It means, darling,” he pointed his knife at you, “The fondness I feel for you is an inconvenience. Nonetheless, it’s welcomed.”

You smiled at him brightly, as you brought the washed vegetables over to him. “I’m fond of you too, but you gotta stop flirting and teach me how we’re gonna cook Daffy here.”

He motioned for you to grab a cutting board and a knife of your own. The two of you worked in quiet harmony, occasionally he’d tell you exactly why he was doing something a certain way or just give you simple instructions and let you have a hands on feel of exactly how to prepare something. It was nice to see him in his element. Hannibal seemed much more content in his kitchen than any where you had seen him at the college. Eventually he set his work to the side and washed his hands.

“You’re cutting them too thick. Thinner is better for this dish.” He stepped behind you, “Do you mind?”

“Go ahead.” You attempted to move to the side, but Hannibal had already caged you in between himself and the counter. His cologne was different from the one you were accustomed to him wearing, but the subtle spice of it gave a more homey feeling to him.

Hannibal grabbed your hand that had yet to let go of the knife. He made sure to show you how to cut them the right thickness. “See? A little thing can unbalance everything.”

“Hm,” you hummed, catching yourself relaxed against the man, his frame strong against yours, “I don’t see much of a difference. Pretty sure this is just your variation of a putter.”

“You assume I have hidden motives,” He acknowledged, looking down at you, “And if there were any?”

Taking the bait, you pressed a kiss to the side of his jaw. “I wouldn’t be too upset.”

His head dipped into your shoulder, taking in a breath. “What happened to not wanting to bring on complications in our friendship?”

“We only have weeks left with each other,” you shrugged, “There wouldn’t be any complications. Not really.”

“We really should get back to making our dinner, darling,” he sighed, almost seeming reluctant to pull away, “What else did you did you do today?””

It took you a second to respond, still shaking off the embarrassment. You weren’t sure what had compelled you to do that. When you looked up at him you grimaced. Grabbing a napkin, you carefully wiped away the lingering lipstick. “The ties were the more interesting part of the day, I didn’t plan anything eventful. Honestly most of my day was taken with trying to recall the shop you mentioned that carried the ones you liked.”

He hummed in appreciation, “You also managed to pick out two I have had my eye on. I’ve got new suits coming in soon that will pair perfectly.”

You beamed at that, happy he did actually like what you had chosen. “Lucky guess. It was difficult remembering the ones I had seen you wear.”

Hannibal made to grab some ingredients and set them on the counter near the stove. “Have your parents tried calling you this weekend?”

You sighed, sure you didn’t have to tell him the truth but you wanted to, he had a compelling thing to him that made it easy to just speak. “I sent them money for rent. Which was honestly the dumbest thing I’ve done in a while.”

“It wasn’t idiotic,” he stated, setting to work on making the pomegranate sauce as you watched, “They’re you’re parents. It’s only natural you worry about them. Though, I do worry they’ll think of you as a person that doesn’t stick to her word.”

“I know, I really meant to, but the thought of them out on the street. It’s not my responsibility, but I’m just so used to being their adult.”

“It’s difficult to detransition. You worry for them as they should worry for you.” He checked over a pan he had been heating, “That’s perfect. If you could please..” Grabbing the plate with the duck you set them on the pan. “With duck it’s important to render off the fat. A low heat is necessary.”

You nodded, “Low and slow, got it... You know, I’m not sure they worry about me at all. I mean- I know they don’t. It should hurt, but it’s just a fact of life.”

“They didn’t give you an opportunity to be a child. When you were supposed to be in the most carefree moments of your life, they burdened you with the responsibilities of an adult.” He held out a spoon with some of the pomegranate sauce for you to taste. “Any pain the notion inflicted on you has been killed with time.”

“There are still moments though. Suppose that’s common enough, isn’t it Doc?” You leaned in, allowing him to feed you, “That tastes amazing. I really should have paid attention.”

“It’s simple, I’ll write it out for you later.” Casting the sauce aside, he set a pot of water to boil. “Very common. We aren’t too dissimilar when it comes to how quickly we had to grow up. Very different reasons, but the fall out isn’t much different. Our paths left us in places where we’re very much alone.”

“What happened?” You asked, realizing that he had known a great deal of your family and you had known nothing more past how his day had gone or his preference of coffee. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I don’t.” Hannibal went to fill two glasses with wine. “I was very young when my parents died. My father had implemented in me that, if anything were to happen, I was to take care of my mother and sister. Which meant I had grown fiercely protective of Mischa when the time came. Soon I was acting more as her father than a brother.”

“Where’s Mischa now?” You asked, knowing at the very least she had to be in her late twenties.

His lips set into a frown, he took a quick drink. “Lost her sometime after. There was a lapse of judgement on my part and she suffered because of it. My days have often been shrouded by the thought that I could have done better by her. The ways I failed burdens me significantly.”

You rubbed his arm sympathetically. “I couldn’t even begin to imagine that pain.”

“It’s something I never wish to experience again. Losing someone you love so dearly, it changes a person.”

“I’m sure you tried your best. You’re a good man. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that when you were so young.”

“You think too highly of me,” he patted your hand on his arm, “Far better than I deserve. Still if my childhood had taught me anything, it’s to value those I hold dear. Such as yourself.”

“I’m glad we found each other. Even if it is for a short while.” You watched as he stepped back into the rhythm of cooking. Maybe you weren’t any help to him but watching him work was comforting.

He raised a brow, “Just because the amount of time we physically see each other will diminish, doesn’t mean we need to completely break apart. I’d like to have you at my dinner table later in life.”

“I’d like it if we kept in touch,” you replied, looking at a small box on the counter. The small black beads glimmered in the light, calling at you to take a peek. A neat row of recipe cards in his impeccable penmanship, numbered as high as 120 but there could have been more. “That’s sweet,” you mused, looking at the back of a card, noticing a couple had business cards on them, “You keep track of your friends’ favorites like this?”

“Friends, acquaintances, business partners. It’s difficult remembering everyone’s preferences. When I have dinner parties I like to make sure there’s a bit of something for everyone.”

“Hm, well I’m sorry I don’t have a card for you to have.”

When everything was said and done, you helped Hannibal set up the plates to have dinner. The conversation became light as you laughed along to the better memories of Mischa. From his smile it was easy to see he adored the usually shy girl. You never pressed on to find out how she died, simply choosing to bask in his soft smiles and laughter instead of entertaining curiosity. It was easy to see he rarely talked about her and you were grateful that he found that much comfort in you.

Some time later he was sitting at his harpsichord, playing a self composed melody as you browsed his shelves. There was an almost familiar calm in the air, like this was a usual happening and it would simply just happen again. A naturally reoccurring moment. You found comfort in his presence too.

You looked up from the shelves when you heard his sigh. “I can’t seem to master this melody,” he stated, “The ending never sounds right.” The annoyed demeanor contradicted his lax look. At least lax for him. His vest and suit jacket had been discarded a while ago leaving him with a popped button, loosened tie, and rolled up sleeves. “I may just leave this one in the air.”

“Sounds perfect to me,” you said, walking over to him, “Though we can be our own worst critics. I know I’m mine.”

“It sounds… forced. Almost as if it’s reluctant to work with me.”

“Forced things just need time.” You placed your hand on his shoulders, digging in your thumbs to relieve the tension you felt. A soft groan as he let his head lull back to rest against your stomach. “Time is all you need sometimes. I thought you would have learned that already, old man.”

He opened his eyes, raising a brow at you. “Always with that mouth.”

You smiled down on him fondly, something- probably the wine in your system -thought about pressing a kiss to his forehead right then. “What can I say? It has a mind of its own.”

“I do prefer when it’s otherwise occupied,” he stated, closing his eyes again.

Your fingers dug a little deeper at that, caught off guard. “And yet.”

Hannibal played a couple soft notes, seemingly testing the waters for his next attempt at getting it to sound right. “And yet.” The first melody seemed almost innocent, but was followed by a second seemingly stalking after it. “Would you mind putting on a record? It seemed I’ve grown bored with music of my own.”

“Sure thing, Han.” Giving his shoulders one final squeeze you pulled away from him. At the record table you browsed through his selection. Hannibal was still composing as you decided to go with a record that looked more worn than the others, figuring something well loved would help him out of his frustrated state. Setting it on the platter, you gave it a brief once over with the anti static brush, knowing he’d probably be attentive to that type of thing, and dropped the needle. The music filled the air as you took in the melody. “Very you.”

He let out a soft chuckle, abandoning the harpsichord, in favor walking over to you. “Very me, indeed.” Hannibal took the record sleeve out of your hand, setting it down on the table. The music’s build up reached. “Would you give me the honor?” His hand was stretched out toward you.

You gave him a sheepish smile, “Afraid I’m going to have to disappoint. I’m not much of a dancer.”

“I’ve been told I’m a wonderful teacher,” he pressed, a charming smile on his lips, “We all start somewhere. Let me be yours.”

A soft laugh bubbled from you as you took in his look of boyish excitement. “You’re not allowed to complain when I step on your toes.” You placed your hand in his.

He gave a gentle squeeze to your hand. “If you’re too terrible, I’ll show you the way I taught Mischa. You can stand on my toes as I try to help you commit the movements into muscle memory.”

“Handsome and a comedian.”

“I try my best.” Hannibal gave you a gentle spin as he pulled you closer. A kiss was pressed to your hand before he placed it on his shoulder. “Now, just follow after me,” he instructed, placing his hand on your hip.

The moment could have made you fall for the man as you danced with him throughout the room. Toothy smiles and teasing winks were sent your way the couple of times you stepped on his toe. Soon enough, you figured out the pace and learned how to follow through with his unspoken plans. Still, ever the novice, you managed to place your foot in a way that sent you both stumbling to the floor.

Hannibal held you close to his chest, ensuring you didn’t get hurt in the fall. “Oh my sweet girl,” he laughed, “we are going to need more practice.”

You hid your face against his neck, ignoring the fact that he could feel how hot your face was getting. “You want more of that?”

“You were doing perfect, YN,” he stroked your hair sympathetically, “One misstep isn’t something to be embarrassed about.”

Taking a deep breath, you shifted off of the older man, opting to sit beside him on the floor. Hannibal followed suit, leaning back on his elbows. “I really am going to miss seeing you regularly,” you admitted, reaching out your hand to push back the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes.

“We spend much of our time together,” he acknowledged as he looked at you curiously. “In the kitchen-“

Your eyes widened slightly, “We don’t need to talk about that i-it’s fine. No hard feelings.”

“Romantically or physically?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Do you see me as a romantic or physical conquest?”

“I, um,” you opted to look at your fumbling hands, “I’m honestly not sure about romance… especially considering… everything and my experience when it comes to romance. Never really thought past- I’m talking too much.”

Hannibal’s hand tilted your chin up, forcing you to look him in the eye. “Oh? What happened to the confident girl in the kitchen? Don’t go shy on me now.”

“I was high on your cologne, you can hardly blame me,” you rambled, “It pairs with mine nicely I think.”

His thumb stroked absentmindedly at your jaw. “Such a sweet little thing you are… Now, tell me, YN, what couldn’t you think past?”

“You,” you offered lamely, “Mostly nights when I needed to relax. You’d cross my mind. I’d wonder how you felt. How’d you do things. Maybe you’d like to leave bruises only you’d ever know about…”

“There’s something special in knowing what others don’t,” Hannibal acknowledged, “I do enjoy my lovers wearing my marks, hidden from others view and only acknowledged by myself. As it should be, I’m certain you agree.”

You swallowed thickly at the implication of being marked as his solely. The idea of having normal conversations with him at the college with evidence of him knowing you well burned against your skin. Maybe you’d see if you could convince him into one particular fantasy Friday night had conjured.

He rested his thumb against your bottom lip, bringing you back to him. “I’ve had thoughts of my own… I wonder… Have you ever wrapped a hand around your own neck?” Hannibal smirked at the way your lips parted in surprise as he felt the heat rise to your face, caught in a way you hadn’t expected. “Sweet girl, were you desperate for me?”

You went to lick your bottom lip out of habit, instead finding the pad of his thumb. “Yes, sir.”

“Darling,” he sighed out softly, almost disappointed, “we could have sorted you out this entire time, if you’d only ask politely. There would have been no need for you to imagine, creative as you might have been. You always put everyone’s needs before yours, but where does that leave you?” Hannibal his thumb pressed against your lips lightly, humming in satisfaction when you let him in, already so compliant. “All you have to do is ask. What would you have me do tonight?” A soft pop sounded in the room as he pulled his thumb back, smearing your spit onto your lips and chin.

“Just tonight?” The words rolled out of your mouth thoughtlessly.

A soft laugh. “Maybe more, if you behave.”

Hannibal threaded his hand into your hair, pulling your head back slightly. Leaning closer he took a deep breath, taking you in, before leaving a simple kiss against your neck. His warm breath fanned across your face as he kept you in anticipation. Finally he graced you with a feather light kiss, so quick you weren’t sure you even noticed. You didn’t have time to feel ashamed of the whine that had escaped when he started to move away. Following after him, you caught him in an urgent kiss, threading your own hands in his hair to make sure he’d stay close. Hannibal bit at your bottom lip, his tongue sliding in the second you gasped. You ignored the sting and slight coppery taste.

Sure you had had your fair share of ventures. It was only natural to crave the attention for the night or a couple hours. However, Hannibal didn’t feel like any of your past partners. His kiss was unrelenting and passionate. Quickly he learned exactly how to kiss you to ensure you’d moan into his mouth. You weren’t sure how long had been spent like this. Lips on lips. Someone’s wandering hand trailing down the other’s body. The growing need. Every movement slowly became bolder. Hannibal took the time to pull you onto his thigh, closing the distance between you even more. He kissed along your neck until he found a spot that made you buck against him.

“Please,” you sighed out, not really knowing exactly what you wanted, but having faith that he’d give you just what you needed.

Hannibal leaned his forehead against yours, “Are you sure about this, darling?”

It wasn’t time for contemplation though, everything was already set into motion. He had just asked out of politeness. His hands moved to your hips, he dragged you against himself in a way that clouded your mind. “You’re very convincing,” you said with a shuddered breath. Leaning your head against his shoulder, you matched his rhythm. At the moment everything in the world was him and you couldn’t find it in you to mind.

“You came to me,” he pointed out. His hand tugged at your shirt and you allowed him to pull it off. Fingers raised goose bumps along your skin as he followed the fabric of your bra to unclasp the material.

“Could you blame me?” You kissed the side of his jaw for the second time this night. The lipstick mark left behind wasn’t as embarrassing when you were half undressed on his lap. A blush blossomed in your chest as you watched his darken eyes take you in.

Hannibal kissed along your chest. His hand made its way into your pants, drawing slow circles on your clit. Your soft moan and jut of your hips urged him for more. Before you could ask, he thrusted two fingers inside of you, the pace changing every so often as he took in your reactions. You leaned your head against his shoulder as you grinded against his hand. Soft whimpers were muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

“Come on sweet girl,” he used his free hand to pull you off of his shoulder by the hair, “you shouldn’t be hiding. Look at me when I’m touching you. Don’t you want to be my good toy?”

You nodded meekly, unable to make a smart comment when you saw a smirk settle on his lips as a too loud moan took its place.

“That’s it, no one can hear you,” he teased as he worked at the spot harder, his thumb rubbed at your clit. “You seem very close, what if I…”

As he went to move his hand, you grabbed his wrist to stop him. “No, no, no. Please, I’ll be good for you.”

He chuckled, but didn’t say a word as he brought his pace back up. Instead he chose to revel in your soft sounds and the way you had to focus to keep your eyes on him. Finally, he decided keeping you on the edge was enough and allowed you to cum on his fingers.

“Clean up your mess,” he said as he thrusted his cum coated fingers into your mouth, “There you go, good girl.”

You watched him as you sucked his fingers clean. Bringing a hand down you palmed cock through his pants, fully intending on returning the favor. “You’re wearing too many clothes.”

“I’m afraid that status isn’t going to change anytime soon.” Hannibal kissed your pouted lip. “Don’t worry, I fully intend on taking care of you. Come, let’s make you more comfortable.”

As he stood, Hannibal offered you his hand to help you up. You followed him through the home to his bedroom, a place you didn’t think you’d end up but were more than pleased to see. Still you weren’t exactly taking in the sights when you were pulled into a rougher kiss as he led you toward his bed. A not too gentle push to your chest landed you on top of it. Leaning back on your elbows, you watched as Hannibal took his time undressing you fully.

“You don’t play fair,” you complained, shifting yourself higher on the bed, away from him, “I like a pretty view too you know.”

He smiled, looking down at you fondly, “Very well, but only as a reward for earlier. I know you struggled.”

You smiled at that, shaking your head, “Come here won’t you?”

There wasn’t any time wasted when he settled on top of you, you didn’t have his patience. Your hands worked on his tie and buttons as his lips and teeth trailed across your chest. A subtle grind against your pussy had your thighs squeeze his waist. Pushing his shirt off, you felt down his chest, still surprised by how muscular he seemed to be underneath it all. You wondered if he’d stop you as you reached for his belt.

“That’s enough. I don’t think you’ve earned it just yet.”

An annoyed huff was all you could manage.

“All in its time, darling.” A surprisingly gentle kiss was dropped on your cheek. “Can you manage waiting a while longer for me?”

You resisted the urge to nuzzle against him, unused to such soft displays from past partners. “Yes, sir...”

“Always such a sweet, polite thing.”

Hannibal kissed and bit his way down your body, ensuring there would be evidence of him the next time you saw yourself in the mirror. He allowed you to thread your fingers in his hair, giving him a soft push down when he took too long marking you in one spot. It wasn’t much longer until Hannibal was level with your thighs, he pushed them further apart. A moment passed without anything before you remembered his rule. Willing yourself up you looked down at him, catching a wink before you were rewarded with a broad lick. Hannibal sucked your clit, pressing your hips down when you grinded against him.

A helpless noise was the most you could do.

He bit your thigh, his fingers immediately making their way back inside of you, targeting the spot he had quickly learned turned you to putty.

“You really are beautiful like this,” Hannibal acknowledged, “Completely at my mercy. Desperate for anything I’m willing to give you.”

There wasn’t any time to think up something to say as Hannibal’s mouth replaced his fingers, silencing any words that weren’t his breathy attempts of his name and pleas. Teeth grazed against your clit and a soft moan of his own was enough to pull you closer.

“Please, daddy,” you begged, too far gone to be embarrassed by your slip, “I’m close…”

Hannibal was merciful, helping you finish as quickly as you had asked. Maybe at another time he would have teased and made you hold on longer but there was only so much patience he had. Especially when there was such an eager lover begging him. You watched him, dazed, as he came back up, his hand gripping at your jaw.

“Open.”

Doing as he wanted, you opened your mouth, instantly receiving a mix of the still lingering wine he had drank at dinner and you. He watched as you swallowed.

He let out an almost dreamy sigh. “So pliant.”

Hannibal kissed you, finally allowing you to get your way as you pushed off the last clothes. You pumped him in your hand, working up the courage as you shook off the daze he had left you in. He was definitely the most talented partner you had had.

“We don’t have to go any further,” Hannibal reassured you, kissing the side of your mouth, “I’m perfectly sedated watching you.”

You shook your head immediately, not wanting him to think you were hesitant. “I want to, college guys aren’t so giving, just needed some time to clear my head.” As if to prove your point you gave him a squeeze, that made him thrust into your hand on instinct. “I just feel bad you’re doing all the work.”

“I prefer it,” he groaned quietly, as you thumbed at the slit. Hannibal rolled so that you could be on top of him, “But if you insist…”

A soft laugh. “That was hardly the fight I was expecting,” you muttered teasingly, kissing his jaw.

“My patience is running thin.”

At that you straddled him, your hand lining him up with you. His hands held you steady as you sunk onto him. The both of you moaned softly when he was fully inside. Hannibal slowly grinded you against himself as you adjusted to his size. Hands against his chest, you started riding him in earnest.

“That’s my good girl,” he praised you, his fingernails digging harder into your hips.

“Yours,” you whimpered, too enthralled in the feel of him to pay any attention to the weight of what you were saying. His groans underneath you encouraged you more than anything. “All yours.”

Hannibal sat up, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you firm against him. His soft kiss was a contrast to how roughly he was working himself into you. You couldn’t find it in you to care that he had taken control again. Instead you wrapped your arms around his neck, letting him do as he pleased, just enjoying the way his hands and lips would travel across your body. Teasing, pinching, biting everywhere he could reach. Your chest alone would be covered in marks left behind by Hannibal. That would be a problem for the future you to deal with at the moment you were too preoccupied with begging him for more. He’d slow his thrust whenever he felt you close to the end, chuckling lowly at the whining sounds you had made.

“Give daddy one more sweet girl. I know you can.”

You moaned loudly, giving Hannibal exactly what he wanted. When he wanted. Drained, you fell limp against his shoulder. Every small sound you made broadcast directly to him as he used you for all your worth. His arms tightened around you when you tried to pull away from the over stimulation.

“Daddy’s close,” he promised, his accent thicker than usual, “I’ve taken such good care of my girl. Be good for me.”

Nodding, you dug your nails into his shoulders. You could be good. He had been so good to you after all. Still your vision blurred and it had taken a while longer for him to finally go still inside of you.

Hannibal kissed the side of your head, before pulling you to lay down against him. His thumb wiped away the stray tear that had managed to fall. “You did so well for me. Are you alright? Do you need anything?”

You sighed sleepily, curling into his side more comfortably, “I’m alright. Just want you.”

“We’ll take care of you later,” he promised, seeing how tired you were, “You should rest, darling. I’ll be right here.” His hand rested on your hip, thumbing at forming bruise gently. Between the soft touch and his quiet humming, it didn’t take long for you to find sleep.

NextChapter

#hannibal lecter #Hannibal Lecter x reader #reader insert #smut #hannibal #Hannibal nbc #Hannibal x reader

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heyyyharry · 4 years ago

Text

Happier

(inspired by happier by Olivia Rodrigo)

Word count: 2.4k

I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

Part 1: Drivers License

Part 2: Deja Vu

A/N: I edited the original lyrics to match the POV :)

Harry had come up with a thousand scenarios of how this day would play out. Actually, he’d been thinking of this day since the moment he’d received the news. He didn’t dare to hope that she’d say yes to coming back for a sequel. He’d been sure that they would write her character off, give a lame excuse for how his love interest could not make a return and make his character forget about her completely to move on with a new girl in town. It would have been great if it was that easy in real life. Once someone was written off the script, they were gone for good. Real-life relationships were not that simple. Goodbye didn’t mean ‘never see you again’. You would still share the same friend circle and social bubbles, and it was worse when you two worked in the same industry. Harry didn’t know how he’d lasted a year without running into her, not since the Grammys.

“Didn’t you two date?”

“No.” Harry shook his head, but his eyes stayed glued on Y/N from across the room. She wasn’t looking his way, too busy saying hello to everyone else. “No,” he repeated, more to himself than to his co-star. “We didn’t.”

“But she wrote an entire album about you,” said the other twin. What was her name again? Lulu?

“Luna!” cried her sister, Lex. “You can’t ask him that!”

“No, it’s okay,” Harry said with a tight smile, slightly annoyed by the blonde twins, but he didn’t want to seem like an ass on the first day of filming. “And I don’t know if it was for me. You should ask Y/N.”

“Ask me what?”

Harry flinched when he looked up and saw Y/N padding towards them. She hugged the twins, who seemed way too excited. Harry guessed they were Y/N’s fans. They gave off crazy fangirl vibes, probably just pretending not to know the drama to interrogate him. He couldn’t blame them for assuming he was the villain and definitely could not blame Y/N for portraying him as one. It was more important that he knew who he was and how much he had changed since his last relationship. Maybe they could finally be friends.

“Were they bothering you?” Y/N asked him once the twins had left.

Harry nodded. “They’re your friends?”

“Oh, I met them last year on tour. I’m surprised you don’t know them. They were on Disney.”

“I don’t watch Disney,” Harry admitted with a smile. “Well, not today’s Disney.”

“Understandable.” Y/N nodded and bit her lip. She seemed guarded with her straight back and hands hidden behind her. She eyed him up and down, quite subtle yet noticeable. “How have you been?”

“Pretty good,” he said, nodding slowly. “You?”

“Yeah, but mostly tired because of tour.”

“You’re done?”

“Yup, last night was the last show.”

“Nice.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Nice?”

Harry blinked. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No.” Y/N giggled. “You still sound very...you.”

“Well, shouldn’t I?”

“Yeah, you should. But it’s been a year so…I mean, you haven’t changed much.”

“Right,” he said lowly, his eyes falling to his feet. Harry supposed he should say something else, perhaps bringing up another random topic to discuss, but all he could think about was what had happened between them. Things had been messy, hadn’t they? How could they go back to before that? Before her first song about him. Before he’d chosen someone else over her.

Or he could talk about her new relationship. She’d been in a happy relationship for almost six months, right? No wait, hadn’t they broke up two weeks ago? He wasn’t sure because he hadn’t been catching up. If they’d broken up, he’d sound like an ass to even mention her ex’s name. He should just stay quiet.

“I’ll see you later?” she said, gesturing at her stylist who was waiting by the door.

Harry could ask her right now -- the reason she’d agreed to film the sequel to their first movie together. He’d heard from a very reliable source that she’d specifically asked her agent to decline any project that he was in. So did this mean they were good? That she didn’t hate him anymore? He could have gathered his courage and got the answer right then…

“Yeah, see you.”

...but he didn’t.

And so she gave him a smile and a little wave, then happily returned to her stylist.

“See you tomorrow, Y/N!”

“See you, Annie!” Y/N said as she put the rest of her things into her tote bag. Her new driver had got her schedule mixed up, and so she had to wait here for another half an hour. She was in no rush. It had been a light first day, and she’d had a fun time getting to know the new cast members and catching up with old friends.

She sat on the sofa in the lobby, legs crossed, texting her best friend about her day. She’d purposely left out the short off-screen conversation with Harry, and her best friend didn’t even bother to ask. In their world, he didn’t exist, and his name was censored in every conversation like a curse word that was even worse than ‘cunt’. Nevertheless, she didn’t hate him anymore. She was doing just fine on her own, being busy with her career, and she’d been in a happy relationship after her fall out with him.

She and the guy, a model, had broken up two weeks ago due to long distance and some differences that they could not change. They had ended on good terms and decided to stay friends. They said you could only stay friends with your ex when you still had feelings for each other, or you had never loved each other that much in the first place. For her, it was probably the latter. Her previous relationship had been more platonic than romantic, apparently. So she had nothing but the best to say about him.

As she was going through her camera roll, just reminiscing about the past, she heard footsteps approaching and looked up to find Harry. He offered a smile and gestured to the spot beside her on the sofa. “May I sit here? My ride is late.”

“Yeah, sure.” She hurriedly scooted over.

“Good job today,” he said. “You were great.”

“Thanks, so were you.” She smiled, and they both looked away at the same time. This was so awkward. She hated small talk. She’d never had to have small talk with Harry. Conversations with him used to be so easy and natural and silly. Whatever this was, it wasn’t them.

“Can we just be normal?”

At first, Y/N thought she’d been the one who’d said it, so when she realised it’d been Harry, she was speechless.

He swallowed and sat a bit straighter, still not looking at her. “I don’t want us to be weird and awkward.”

“Okay,” she said.

He cleared his throat. “Wanna try again?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, not to sound like an ass but when Joey kept forgetting his lines, I was so pissed off, I could throw a chair at the wall.”

“Right?!” exclaimed Y/N, feeling free to have finally broken out of her shell. “Like, he doesn’t even have many lines. I know he’s new but damn...you can’t get far if you don’t learn your goddamn lines.”

Harry shook with laughter. “Oh God, we sound like dicks, don’t we?”

“Maybe.” Y/N laughed, covering her mouth. “But you know what? We can’t be nice in this industry. It’s impossible.”

“Shhh, if someone heard this, we would be into big trouble.”

“Oh please, I’ve had worse articles written about me than ‘Y/N speaks facts about her lazy co-star’.”

Harry tossed his head back and cackled. “The worst one I’ve got this week was ‘Harry Styles hates therapists.’”

“What?!” Y/N gasped. “No way! That’s so stupid!”

“Right?” Harry rolled his eyes. “I could get all my therapists to speak up for me but I’m kinda immune to bullshit now.”

“Therapists? Like plural?”

“Yeah, one in every city.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.”

Y/N rubbed her hands onto her legs. “Rough year?”

Harry’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he leaned back. “You have no idea.” Then he swept his hair out of his eyes, sucked in a breath, and finally looked at her. “I wish I could have talked to you, though.”

She bit her tongue, knowing what she was about to say next would disappoint her best friend so much, but she had to. “So do I.”

Harry looked taken aback before his lips curled into a smile. “It’s silly, isn’t it? I haven’t talked to you in a year, and I feel like I know everything that’s happened to you except that I don’t.”

What he’d just said might make no sense for most people, but Y/N knew exactly what he meant. She nodded and wetted her lip. “You only know as much as everyone else does.”

“Yeah, I got updates on you from the news and our friends.”

“Same.” Y/N smiled back. “I hate how they write articles about your new haircut but not mine.”

“I like your new hair colour.”

“Thanks. I like your new car.”

Then they both burst out laughing. It was fun and also a little bit strange that Y/N didn’t feel the same anxiety talking to him as she used to. It must be because they had grown and were now meeting again as better people.

“Damn, my ride's here,” Y/N said as she read the text from her driver. “I gotta go now.”

“Oh, okay.” Harry stood up and followed Y/N to the entrance. “Hey, just wondering--”

“Yeah?”

“Am I...am I still blocked?” He looked a bit flustered as she tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “On your phone. Because I remember you having my number blocked--”

“I unblocked you on your birthday.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” Y/N shrugged. “I should’ve sent you a happy birthday text but...I didn’t want your girlfriend to get the wrong ideas.”

“My ex.”

“Yeah, I know.”

They smiled at each other one last time before saying goodbye. Y/N knew it was silly, but she was hoping he would go after her.

Ding.

A notification popped up when she was in the car. She was almost home, and it was from Harry’s number. He’d sent her a link with a message that said, “Hope you like it :)”.

Curious, she tapped on it and was directed to an audio file titled ‘Track 5’. The upload date was last year. About two weeks after their short conversation at the Grammys.

Hurriedly, she fumbled inside her bag for her iPods and put it on before she pressed play.

“Hey, Jeff, I couldn’t sleep so I wrote this song. Listen and let me know if it should go on the album.”

Then came the piano intro. It sounded good, so Y/N wondered how it hadn’t ended up on his last album.

But when he started to sing...

We ended a while ago Your friends are mine, you know, I know You've moved on, found someone new One more guy who brings out the better in you

And I thought my heart was detached From all the sunlight of our past But he’s so nice, he’s so funny Does he mean you forgot about me?

Oh, I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

And does he tell you you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen? An eternal love bullshit he might not even mean Remember when you were with me I meant it when you heard it first from me

And now I'm pickin' him apart Like cuttin' him down will make you miss my wretched heart But he’s charming, he looks kind He probably gives you butterflies

I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better

I hope you're happy I wish you all the best, really Say you love him, baby Just not like you loved me And think of me fondly when your hands are on him I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

The song was for her. He’d written it when her new relationship had gone public. Y/N sat there, staring blankly ahead until the honking of a car tore open her inner peace, and reality came crashing back in. The driver dropped her off at her house. Instead of going inside, she stood on her front steps and replayed the song one more time. When it ended, she decided to text him: Why didn’t this make it to the album?

She didn’t know where he was now, but it showed ‘typing’ in less than a second, as if he’d been waiting in their chat since he’d sent that link.

You would’ve hated me, Y/N.

True, she replied. Still, I would’ve loved the song lowkey. And added, I love it btw.

He took so long to type that it was driving her crazy. She flopped down on the concrete stair with her phone clutched in her hands, her heart thundering against her ribcage. Anxiety popped like a balloon when his message appeared: Were you happier?

She reread it again and again.

No.

I wasn’t either, he responded. I kept getting deja vu.

Ha, nice reference.

That song is my guilty pleasure. Love listening to you roasting me on loop.

That last message made Y/N bury her face into her palm and giggle like a fool. She thought for a second and wrote: I could come roast you in person now if that’s what you prefer. I think we’ve never had a proper roasting.

Can we meet, Y/N? Or are you busy now?

No, not busy.

Great, I’ll pick you up.

Just tell me where, she responded with a smile on her face. I got my drivers license now :)

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic

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