#the autism is winning real hard

[wackpedion]

I need someone to shoot me in the head I am not kidding I am too MSI rotted im fucking insufferable to be around. When I was obsessed with Seth that was endearing okay. I was just obsessing over a lil guy. It was funny like haha thats some minor character and yet you love him so much. People liked me for it. Now I am just some loonie whos obsessed with this mediocre band and its fuckass singer. People hate me

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[bluejaybytes]

Parker is literally the worst because not only is she So Sucks Like As A Person, but it's also been probably years since I've reached this level of absolute autistic obsession we with ONE OC in specific, and I've forgotten how awful it is to have already said everything there is to say to the people willing to tolerate it. Like no there's nothing new to say I've already given an incredibly longwinded explanation of every plot point, narrative theme, her relationship with everyone, what she's thinking at all times, and at least 5 unrelated tangents about what OTHER OCs are doing at the time, I just still want to continue speaking with nothing to say. I hate you you stupid squid (octopus)

[roseshyanne]

Erm probably only gonna talk and repost about bsd and sk8 because i cant physically think about anything else

[moonglade-poetess]

Anyone else up, feeling hard to love and wondering if they have bpd?

[candyskiez]

The thing about Mob being autistic is it's like. It doesn't feel like someone wrote a character experiencing symptoms of autism. It feels like that is a person who has autism. It's not even just "he shows signs of autism", it's like the driving force of the plot. The inciting incident behind the story is something so many autistic people can relate to. The whole scene where Mob realized "do other people have goals? Am I the only one who doesn't know what I want?" Resonated with me so hard and I've literally never seen that experience covered. And you can't like Explain how autistic he reads as to someone who isn't autistic yk. Like yeah it's the social cues yeah it's the emotional regulation but it's also Everything Else. Literally everything else. It's the fact he doesn't even know why he was so nostalgic about Tsumobi or why she meant so much to him. It's the fact that even good things add up to explosions. It's the fact he acts like how autistic people who have trauma around ableism and bullying act in real life. It's the fact the trauma of ableism is actually shown to fuck you up. I don't know how to explain to a non autistic person why Mobs so autistic because it's not just any one thing it's literally everything about him. Everything in the story. It's all autistic and I cannot explain it I can only gesture at it and go DO YOU SEE THIS. ARE YOU FUCKINH SEEING THIS. I've literally never related to a character more than Mob it's actually insane. I could not explain to someone who hasn't watched the show. He deserved to win all of those autism polls the plot of mp100 would not happen if he wasn't autistic.

[aurae-rori]

Not a question and idk if your asks are open are not so I'm sorry if I'm not doing this right I don't interact much on Tumblr 😭

But finding your blog has been an absolute blessing cause Ratio always frustrated me as a character cause I couldn't sort out thoughts about him or entirely figure him about but reading your posts about him is scratching the itch on my brain that's been there for a while now and I absolutely adore it. He's such a well written character and reading what you have to say about him constantly is so much fun and let's me gobble up the information in a way my brain can process it.

Your blog is so much fun and I love reading your stuff!!

Also, what are your thoughts on the comparison between Ratio + Aventurine and Alhaitham + Kaveh? (Not sure if you've been asked that before so I apologize if you have!)

No worries, you did it perfectly fine!

Aww, dude, I'm so glad that my blog has brought you some joy. I'm happy to help deconstruct characters so that their inherent workings, motives, desires, and philosophies are seen. I try to keep my stuff easily edible(tm) so I'm so glad that it's working!! Thanks for the support, I saw you in my notifs a lot and it means the world.

And no worries, I actually haven't gotten this question yet.

There's a whole youtube vide on why Alhaitham & Ratio are not similar, and I wouldn't say that Kaveh & Aventurine are similar either. Alhaitham is generally a self-focused guy who doesn't want excitement and literally wants a normal life, while Dr. Ratio is reaching for the stars and wants to better the lives of literally everyone in the universe. Also, Kaveh and Aventurine share traits of being overworking (and they have dead desert dads), but I would consider Aventurine far more reserved than Kaveh is. They deal with business differently - Aventurine drives a hard bargain and takes deals that benefit him, while Kaveh's goodwill usually wins out on him and he gives into his empathy far more often. Honestly? The theories about Ratio being Kavehtham's love child is so fucking real, because he has the Autism from Alhaitham and his love for maths and his inner kindness from Kaveh.

Thanks for dropping by! <3

[natalie-goodmn]

Next to Normal round 3 thoughts:

there’s a lot of things I noticed this time that I didn’t before but that’s just bc as a Natalie stan I must be looking at her the whole time

- I never noticed Gabe throwing Dan’s keys in Just Another Day before that’s SO funny

- I also finally saw Diana kiss Henry, she really WENT FOR IT

- is it just me or does the Wyndhams need to turn up their mics?? Maybe it’s just that I need it In My Ear Canal but I’ve noticed the singing is a bit quiet (I also didn’t notice this in Oklahoma)

- I love Gabe holding the microphones to Natalie and Dan during their I’m Alive dialogue. He might be a demon with the spirit of a dead two year old but he’s sooo silly :D

(this is getting long so more under the cut)

- something something Natalie playing her fake keyboard with the band’s piano behind her, something acting and pretending like she’s a normal person with a normal family

- I just realised that Gabe AND Natalie licks up Diana’s leg. Diversity win

- the parallels of Gabe and Diana reaching out to each other in Im Alive vs Natalie reaching down to her in Wish I Were Here (and maybe Catch Me I’m Falling) i feel sick,,,

- Gabe holding Diana in I Am the One like Henry’s holding Natalie, welcome back Freudian Gabe

- also the head kiss parallel with Gabe in Just Another Day and before he’s about to leave in I Dreamed a Dance

- the blood is so visceral but a part of me misses the bway staging too where they just walk off slowly and as dr madden talks abt Diana’s attempt. It’s basically the same thing but the reveal felt slower idk

- also man every time I miss the donmar staging of the one tiny bit where Dan’s going “Is this helping or? Di?” as Diana just walks off and back to the therapy chair. Idk it just felt like dissociation better to me, but I do like Ominous Circle Of Thinking

- I also love love love how they play the “I love you as much as I can” in this. They play it like a failed charm roll, and you really get everyone’s frustration and that she’s trying hard

- and then in Maybe when you see that Diana actually knows Natalie deeply bc she’s like her,,, hold on. Similarly, I love how the first person Natalie hugs in act two (I think?) is Diana instead of Henry. Me when the real story is between a mother and daughter (mamma Mia who)

- Diana rolling her eyes and mouthing ‘oh my fucking-‘ to Dan going “can you tell me what it is you’re afraid of” is maybe the best representation of anxiety and I’m not even kidding, MOOD Diana

- god I know it’s been in all the productions but I love how much agency Diana has, you rarely see it with mentally ill characters but she’s so funny and knows what she wants and I love her

- everyone’s said it, everyone knows it but JACK WOLFE god he’s amazing every time

- I’ve thought this both times, is it just me or when Gabe is silhouetted (I think with the music box) is his neck like inhumanly thin??? Like genuinely asking, I don’t think that’s Jack’s neck?? Is it?? Am I just misunderstanding human anatomy when someone wears a hoodie

- I’ve said it before but I Am the One reprise is one of the best scenes in musical theatre and it should end there. I’m a Light hater SORRY, I like the message a lot but it’s always felt like a studio note or something where they’ve been told that it has to be uplifting at the end or it’ll do badly and make everyone sad

- natalie,,, covering her ears and her big headphones. Autism. Also really love Eleanor’s portrayal of her anxiety. Instead of Jen’s anger, she has a hamster like anxiety quality to her (complimentary)

- also I swear I see no one talk about it WHEN GABE TOUCHED NATALIE’S HAND??? AND SHE NOTICES SOMETHING??? That’s new for this production right?? Theories???

- Natalie starting to tidy up Gabe’s toys,,, she’s breaking the cycle,, she’s the hope. And playing with them with Henry and showing him the bunny toy 😭

- I’ll say it. The “you’re like number one on my list of problems” doesn’t work that well if you don’t have Jen and Adam’s sarcasm. Too earnest. Banned.

- I’ve said a lot abt this Henry but I actually like this act 2! He plays him v desperate and anxious which I don’t think Adam does, it shows the stakes for act two. Also his arc UGH. From being a Dan parallel where he’s saying he’ll be perfect for her and that he wants who he knew and that he’ll stay anyway because he made a promise to,,, the dance and saying that he’ll stay bc he loves her and he doesn’t care if she goes crazy

- Also I think Natalie mouths ‘help me’ as she stops Henry from walking off in A Promise owwww

- also Henry apologising to the pianist after the recital (I think?) and picking up Natalie’s bag from the club 😭

[jev-urisk]

WIP Wednesday ✍️

I finally finished draft 3 of chapter 8!! 🙌 I'm trying REAL hard to congratulate myself for it and savor the win because next... next is the first Kazimier POV 💋 chapter of 🌐7 Circles🌐: Ch9, Tea Time. Here's a clip of it for yall.

After letting Kazimier out in the morning, Klaus took them both out into the world and its bright, sparkling nonsense. That’s basically what came outta demon’s mouths when they had the poor taste to open them- Bright. Sparklin’. Nonsense. And Klaus is fuckin’ fluent. He had every first class dame and half of the brutes cooing congratulations over him turnin’ a century old and getting saddled with slave number one.

And oh boy, was Kazimier a favorite topic in these conversations. Just like that Demyen guy at that pompous shindig, they’d ask Klaus ‘What his first act of reformation will be’ along with what’s next- what the ‘final product’ of Kazimier would look like. And damn Klaus, he didn’t give any of them (including Kazimier) a damn thing to work with.

I AM excited to show Kazimier off! It's just going to take some extra time to finish this chapter bc there's some summarizing from Kazimier's POV, and I have to carefully balance letting Kazimier's voice in but not so much that the prose feels like it belongs to a different book than the rest 💀 Also rn it's at almost 7k words and I think it needs streamlining..

7C taglist: @gioiaalbanoart @biblicallyaccuratefruitbat @lychhiker-writes @autism-purgatory

@wyked-ao3 @cowboybrunch @zackprincebooks @smellyrottentrees @tragedycoded

@aalinaaaaaa @the-golden-comet @quillswriting @nbkuhn @ddgraywrites

@desastreus @theglitchywriterboi @shanakin-skywalker @honeybewrites @sincerelydorky

[plasticfossil]

THORNTON GREY, 2.5K TRIS & 256x TEX

Worldbuilding and cg autism under the cut

This is Thornton Grey, a character of mine I've had for around 15 years now. He's from a more or less retired worldbuilding universe of mine, waiting to be either recycled or refactored. Thornton is one of the dearest characters from that setting (and in all honesty, one of my dearest characters in general) and I tend to keep him in my current brain palette of little men to doodle in various formats.

I've been doing these early cd-3d (aka psx /ps1 etc) styled models for some of my OCs with hopes of eventually ?? learning godot. I guess. I need to get my worldbuilding out to the world so it become property of the grand creative consciousness, aka to affect people with my art the same way people affected me.

The tri count is higher than many people tend to target for this style and i'll probably improve that over time as I make various kinds of assets related to my worldbuilding, but eh who cares lol. The textures are photobashed stock images with details painted over and posterized in photoshop.

Here's some bonus 'march of progress' of my art of him over time.

Lore? Well, many of my characters start out with me being bored or annoyed by a specific trope in media, and he is no exception. He's a few things, but primarily he's my take on the 'little pinocchio robot boy/man who wishes he was a Real human'. Thornton's character addresses more so the preoccupations we as humans have to classify and categories types of people or non-people.

The universe, with the codename Redverse, is set approximately 1920s/1930s alt-earth america. He was child to a pair of grandmaster clocksmiths in the early 1800s whom could not have children of their own, and spent decades producing an analog AI composed of millions of intricate gears assembled with a small cube which composes his brain. He has a small boiler in his trunk that provides power for the various hydraulic systems within his limbs and keeps his brain's clockwork properly wound.

After caring for his elderly parents until their deaths, he took his father's trenchcoat and gun and traveled the country. (why is his gun a german luger? i don't know, i was like 17. it looks cool.)

Computers, robots, ai, etc, are not really a thing in this universe, granted the targeted vague time period. So he's generally regarded by others as an advanced automaton (he basically is.) and as a curiosity. He however has no qualms about being artificial in nature, as he sees it, he has all the makings of the average man -- has parents, has to eat (hard coal for his boiler), and can love. To view him as nonhuman baffles him, and his matter of fact attitude about the issue tends to win over many people he gets to know. Regarded mostly with respect for his kind and empathetic nature within the communities he spends any amount of time in, he's eventually pulled into the underworld of armed resistance forming against the increasing power of a fascist authoritarian regime that has quickly possessed control of the tumultuous american politics.

A tl;dr of this universe is "but what if AMERICA was the nazis". Very clever 17yo me. I'm sure you had a shock of your life when you grew up and learned about america's rancid role in world politics. Thus the retirement and possible refactoring -- I think it can be a compelling alt history universe if I actually learn more about how do to it properly, if i ever revive it. I'm not the first person to do it but maybe I can offer something interesting if at least for the setting of a noir style vibe game.

Anyway, Thornton becomes very involved. So involved, in fact, he becomes essentially the poster child of the resistance movement. And is targeted for it.

Widely hailed as a martyr for his subsequent demise, the resistance movement gets his hands on his thankfully intact head and revive him the best they can. He is unfortunately damaged, and upon revival, starts channeling visions from beyond.

And that is about as far as I got with his story. Perhaps you will see more of him in the future.

[freezing-kaiju]

ALRIGHT, IT'S TIME!

THE SECOND RYUKI-AND-BLADE-ACCOMPANYING ANIME POLL IS NOW HERE!!!

SO, MEET YOUR CHALLENGERS!

AJIN Demi-Human

We start with a dark horror and possibly scifi about ethics in science, immortality, and an outlaw fugitive alien plot as a boy finds himself part of a group of immortals declared legally inhuman. While I have some misgivings about Oh No I Was Secretly A Creature All Along plots, I do fucking love horror and there’s a lot of ways for those plots to hit hard in the trans and gay and autism organs and be really important!!!!

Dimension W

The New Tesla Energy Corporation has monopolized the fourth dimension and the coils that connect to it. A duo of bounty hunters, one human and one robot, make money via repossessing illegal coils and seek out the answer to the mysteries within the dimension. I really wanna watch this one for a few reasons, the primary one of which is 'there are multiple fat women'. It seems to have freaks and weirdos and fun times, and its comedy is emphasized more than most of the other ones on this list so it might give some needed levity!

Kyoukai no Kanata

A bumbling monster hunter with blood powers meets an immortal via trying to shank him and ends up in an arrangement where she'll keep trying to kill him to boost her confidence while hunting monsters in what I hope is a monster-of-a-week show that came highly recommended by a friend as her favorite anime, or one of her favorites, so i have high hopes! Script's by the hibike euphonium guy and the power system seems quite interesting!

Air

A puppeteer (if he’s as good as Sakon will remain to be seen) stops his Road Trip To Meet A Golden Sun Jupiter Summon to stay for a bit in a town and, as happens to anyone who stops for too long, gets attached to the place and also meets a girl who might be said jupiteresque being. My friend informs me that it's gorgeous, sounds amazing (so I'll make sure to get clips), and has "nice sad vibes"!!! And it’s…listed in a “provincial horror” listing… hoho

Heike Monogatari

A child who can see ghosts and the future walks tirelessly through the tragedy of the war between the Taira and Minamoto families before the dawn of the first shogunate. It's wildly beloved by a friend of mine, and also centers a historical event i know some but not all about and definitely need to know more about the Taira side of. Seems like a beautiful drama, one I could lose my heart over.

SSSS Gridman

Digital kaiju! Digital hero! Digital amnesia! A monster of the week show about an unknown amnesiac summoning and merging with Hyper Agent Gridman to fight digital, possibly virtual monsters while making friends(?) in the real world! It's the one thing Tsubaraya Productions has that isn't Ultraman, and I expect some tokusatsu vibes from it along with the mecha stuff, i've also heard it has gay girl megatron??

Akudama Drive

It's a prison break and crime story set in a tech dystopia, starring a scene girl shoplifter, and featuring a bevvy of unpersoned convicts in what seems like an excellent ensemble clusterfuck!!! The Danganronpa crew made this thing! It's also beloved by a friend of mine, and I've heard it'll be a generally excellent tragedy of a time

Canaan

A reporter gets saved from assassins by a woman she might do yuri with, and the summaries I’ve found seem to imply a plot about terrorism and mystery! It’s a Type-Moon work that isn't part of the fate, tsukihime, OR melty universes! It might still have magecraft, but it's tagged sci-fi too, and a type moon take on scifi sounds interesting... it’s also based on. *checks wikipedia* a…perfect-Famitsu-score visual novel for the Nintendo Wii. So I might need to dig out some old hardware to watch this thing. For fun’s sake!

Killing Bites

A guy unintentionally becomes the underground wrestling promoter of a ?werewolf? Woman who murders his friends and wins him a shitload of money. The end goal? According to the summary, control of the economy!!! This was recommended as garbage and good lord I need garbage so much good god I need to put some trash inside of me.

[1863-project]

For the anon Pokémon asks: which battle subway conductor is the cutest?

Okay, this may get long, so bear with me.

First, a little disclaimer: Ingo and Emmet both make me feel incredibly seen. I was born in 1989 and wasn't diagnosed with autism until 2009, and I never got to see characters like me. I'd see some who were similar to me, or some with things in common with me, but Ingo and Emmet feel like looking in a mirror to me, to the point that I don't go in the Submas tag because I've seen too many people perpetuating the ableism that got me bullied as an undiagnosed autistic kid. Every time an autistic or autistic-coded character is portrayed as "weird" or "off-putting" or "too intense" or "scary," it's repeating things that my bullies used to excuse their behavior towards me and essentially treat me and my autism as entertainment. Most people aren't doing this, of course, but since I'm in the process of working through a lot of that trauma, I choose not to take the chance of exposing myself to it because I'd rather heal instead of open old wounds again and again.

Anyway, with that said, I adore them both, but only one of them makes me act like a giddy teenager.

I have the most ridiculous fictional character crush on Emmet. It's unreal. Part of that is likely the fact that if he was real we'd actually be extremely compatible, but unfortunately for me, he is not, and so I can't take him on locomotive photo charter dates and kiss him on the City Hall looparound on the 6 Train. That aside, here's what I genuinely like about the goober.

He's deeply passionate about what he loves.

It's that passion that often gets people like him and me labeled as "too intense," but when he likes something, he really likes something. Battling is like air to him. When you befriend him in Masters EX, you find he'll actually talk your ear off about battling if you give him the opportunity. He vibrates with excitement when he sees strong trainers.

[Image description: Emmet and Ingo, two adult identical twin men with knife-shaped sideburns wearing exaggerated versions of railroad conductor uniforms, stare off to the left at people who are off-screen. Emmet, in a white uniform, is holding his hands at his sides but his hands are in an excited, almost 'grabby' position; Ingo, in a black uniform, also has his hands at his sides but his hands are balled into fists. Ingo's Excadrill, a Pokemon that looks like a mole combined with a tunneling machine, stands in front of him. End description.]

In this screenshot from Masters EX, Emmet and Ingo have just run into Steven Stone and Roark. Emmet is barely holding back, and you can tell by looking at his hands. He wants to battle now. It's delightful that he's in a franchise of video games where that passion is normalized and encouraged. (As long as he never visits Paldea, anyway. Nemona is proof of how well that would go.)

Battling makes Emmet genuinely so happy and excited and I love when people get that way about their hobbies. It's so nice to see passionate people. Emmet even says he's excited about it when you battle him in Black and White and beat him at the highest level possible:

"I am Emmet. I am a Subway Boss, but I lost against you again. But I feel good. Because it was very fun! You want to win, and I don't want to lose. That's real. When we clash in battles, I feel very excited!"

[Source]

He lives for this, so much that even losing a really intense, serious battle feels good. And it's a delight. But, of course...

[Image description: Emmet, described above, claps his hands together excitedly and says "Winning a serious, hard-fought battle is the best feeling in the world!" with a huge smile on his face. End description.]

...he, in his own words, likes winning "more than anything else."

He's verrrry direct in his communication...but also verrrry supportive.

Autistic folks are often told we're too blunt, and to neurotypicals, who are used to saying things more indirectly, we can come off as a bit...too direct to them, to say the least. Arguably the best example of Emmet doing this is in the PokeSpe manga, where he just says things without a filter.

[Image description: a manga panel in which Emmet bluntly tells trainer White, "Yes, we're studying you as an example of a trainer who gets overwhelmed and loses every single match." The next panel leads off with Ingo saying "That's not nice, Emmet..." End description.]

But that bluntness isn't intended maliciously, he just has no filter and says what's on his mind. In reality, he's delightfully supportive and friendly, and that honesty leads to the most wonderful exchanges with him:

[Image description: two screenshots of Emmet from Pokemon Masters EX, smiling softly. His dialogue reads, "Hi, Steph! Your smile is always the best. Perfect! Whenever I see you, I can't help but smile, too! I'll have to make sure my smile is just as good as yours!" End description.]

As a side note, this dialogue has been destroying me for over two years now, and every time I boot up the game and he says this I feel my face get warm. He's actually helped me stop being self-conscious about my smile.

He has a habit of listening in on things, even if he has no intention of gossiping or anything. He just likes knowing stuff.

It's a habit he seems to share with his brother, but Ingo is significantly less obvious and more apologetic about it. Emmet's just really funny about it.

[Image description: two manga panels and one screenshot from Masters EX. The first manga panel shows Emmet marching over to White and Bianca as they have a discussion, saying, "I'm overhearing an interesting discussion over here. It seems profound, so I'm going to stand nearby and listen in. Oh, don't let me distract you. Go on. Keep talking." The second panel shows Emmet cupping his ear with his hand and still attempting to listen in on the discussion from one subway car away, with Ingo standing behind him. The screenshot from Masters EX shows Ingo hiding his eyes with his hat and saying, "I apologize for eavesdropping, but we happened to overhear your conversation at the Pokemon Center" as Emmet stands beside him, hands on his hips and smiling with no shame. End description.]

He doesn't use the information maliciously, and a lot of the time he doesn't even use it at all. He just enjoys hearing these things and knowing all sorts of weird drama is going on elsewhere. It's like when you find out about drama in a fandom you're not in and you read the posts and eat popcorn. It's great.

He likes his work uniform because it helps his posture.

As a fellow "leans forward too much" autistic, this one really resonates with me and I love it.

[Image description: A screenshot of Emmet in Pokemon Masters EX. He's standing straight up and holding the brim of his hat with his hand. His dialogue reads, "Wearing it gets me motivated, of course! It also helps me stand up straight and tall!" End description.]

He stops scripting when he gets to know people better because he's able to trust them.

Notice how his dialogue in BW and BW2 is on the Battle Subway - "I'm Emmet. This is my job. I like doubles. This is why I like doubles. Here are the safety checks." He's scripting around people he's not familiar with, and it's the sort of thing that gets autistic people labeled as "robotic" by people who don't know it's a way to help us maintain some semblance of control over an unfamiliar situation. The preprepared dialogue is a coping method in an ableist world. But when you get to know him in Masters, the scripted dialogue shows up a lot less. He's able to talk genuinely and excitedly to you, because he knows you're safe to be around and you're not going to judge him for who he is. That hits me hard.

He has the most adorable goddamned laugh in the world and it kills me on the daily.

This is a lot more in line with my personal tastes, as everyone who knows me well knows, but that damn laugh makes me all fluttery inside and weak in the knees. And he does it a LOT.

This update to Masters EX, where the characters laugh if you tap on them on the upgrade screen, destroyed me, and multiple people were apparently waiting for me to find it and die because I'm really predictable. I may or may not regularly pull the screen up just to poke at him and hear this. It's...not fair.

This one is...also unfair. I won't elaborate in public on what I think when I hear it because it's embarrassing.

So, uh...yeah. I really, really like Emmet a lot. I'm really normal about Emmet. I promise.

[ozs-twink-boytoy]

(SCRIPT PREVIEW)

Hey ya'll. Hope you're all having a great afternoon! I'm here to bring you a little update about this post.

After watching some video essays for inspiration, I began developing a draft for a script about Robin: Son of Batman (2015). Analyzing the story implications, themes and motifs! :)

And because ya'll been so supportive of my nerdy endeavours, you guys are getting a special preview of the aforementioned draft! (criticisms accepted of course!)

Part of the script avaliable under cut

tagging in: @fancyfade @fluffykitty149 @cleoeatsit

The first issue of the comic run starts with Damiam returning some sort of cultural artifacts to their rightful owners; an order of monks in mainland China.  So, immediately, we got this Tomb Raider/Indiana Jones kind of plot point.  

(Man I sure hope it doesn’t get abandoned halfway through and pivots to portraying  the replacement of an autocracy with another autocracy where the head of state its not even from the country as a good thing)

ahem…

He gets interrupted by League of Assassins members which he fights off with the help of his pet, Goliath the Bat-dragon. He wins said fight and is lavished for returning the sacred object by the locals

All while a masked figure is observing the scene while saying: 

“(...) there cannot be redemption for the year of the blood”

This introduction to the comic is interesting because it highlights the main narrative theme and framing device of the whole story: The Quest for Redemption.

Before we even know exactly what Damian is doing and why he's doing it. We know he's looking to mend a rift. To make a past wrongdoing right. And then we find out someone wants to stop him…

This forms an interesting parallel with real life survivors of schoolyard abuse aka bullying.

Now, hear me out…

 Many kids (especially those with conditions such as autism) are manipulated by their bullies into doing bad things to other children. They generally do this by preying on their loneliness and desire to be accepted by their peers. And so said kids carry out acts of hazing to other children, perpetuating a cycle of harm.

A cycle which is hard to escape from. Because if you hurt someone, regardless of if you were manipulated or not, that person will probably not trust you after the fact. And if you add into account the environment of a school, where rumors spread like wildfires, there's a high chance you develop a bad reputation. Cause other people have no way of knowing you did it while being threatened into being a social pariah. It's a no win situation.

Damian's story is simile to this. Sure, the acts he carried out were far more extreme and he was not manipulated by an outsider but by his own grandfather, Ra’s Al Ghul.  But the effects of his psyche, development and public perception are all the same.

Think about it: His claims to being either the Blood Son or the Grandson of the Demon  are basically him trying to justify his existence  to a family that, for all he knows, could abuse him again. Which leads him to having a thought process where he has to be the best of the best in the room, cause the only other alternative is death. and for that he’s punished. Even though no one ever bothered to teach him the normal social protocols for a boy his age. 

So when you make that reading of Damian, and put into the context of a story where he, by his own volition, decides he’s gonna try and reverse all the harm he caused while being essentially groomed. You get something really powerful.

Well…kind of…

There’s a few things that stuck out with the framing of this arc. The most glaring one being: this arc takes place after he comes back from the dead. After being trapped in hell for the better part of a year after being killed by his own clone.

By making Damian’s journey for redemption take place after he’s been through literal Hell, there’s the subtle implication that he’s not doing it out of his own free will, but to avoid some sort of celestial punishment.

And that’s not a bad idea per se, if the comic acknowledged that implication. Because it does put an interesting question into the table. “Does it matter why we do good things? As long as we do them?” Does it matter if Damian doesn’t kill anymore because of “selfish” reasons. After all, why would an orphan he saves from a fire care if he used to be bad or not? Should that matter to anyone?

That last part is a testament, I think, to how much better executed some ideas that writers at DC have would be if they played them straight. If they acknowledged the implications of their writing instead of just doing something because they thought it would be cool or dramatic. 

[pokemenlovingmen]

Hello!! I keep reading your ingo writing and man I love how you write him;; I am so gay for this man the closet is made of glass. Also MALE READER BLOG!!! PUNCHING THE AIR IN JOY AND GOING STIMMY MODE RN!!! AND RUN BY A TRANSMASC MOD!! JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!

I wanna request while I have the chance, I was thinking Ingo and a s/o with an overprotective Houndoom? I absolutely love Houndooms because 1: they look like my dog irl, and 2: big dogy :] ;; i just think it’d be cute and kinda funny to see Ingo try and win over his boyfriend’s big and mildly threatening dog.

Tysm!! <33

I… have nothing to say for myself for my absence. Life has been painful. I’m so so sorry my friend, your request has been the one I’ve been sitting on all this time.

But omg you’re so sweet thank you for the compliments!! I’m glad that you like my Ingo, he and Emmet are both written by me to lean unashamedly into hard autism territory so maybe that’s what it is lol.

And wow tbh I was considering not including that I was transmasc (still a bit… nervous in gay male spaces as someone who’s transmasc. I know it isn’t true, but I’m so worried of being perceived as not a man or less of a man in those spaces.) but I’m glad I did because I’ve pulled so many trans guys in to visit this blog and!! Big solidarity!! I’m giving each and every one of you a Platonic Kiss on the head

Meeting the Real Boss — Ingo x male Houndoom trainer Reader

⚫️ — Don’t let that serious face fool you, Ingo is just as soft and sappy as his more emotive brother. When he fell for you—that mysterious stranger who shook up the Super Singles Line that fateful day, he fell hard.

⚫️ — You were seen around Nimbasa the following days, but Ingo assumed you were just visiting, as he’d never seen you in the area before. So time to talk to you was limited, at least in his eyes. That was enough of an excuse to get him to give up and write you off as a passing fancy—but it was not enough of an excuse for Emmet who, the moment he found out his brother had developed a crush on one of the challengers, would stop at nothing to get you two talking. (Because he can lack all the social skills he wants and have as little confidence as any grown man could have in his speaking ability, but if it meant getting his dear brother a boyfriend, Emmet would turn into a social savant right then and there.)

⚫️ — So yeah, your relationship with Ingo started out interacting with Emmet more, mainly because every time Emmet not at ALL subtly dragged his brother over to talk to you, Ingo genuinely couldn’t look you in the eyes.

⚫️ — But eventually you guys got together via bonding through—how else?—battling! There was a love language Ingo could get behind, and after your repeat challenges became a constant thing at the Battle Subway, sometimes multiple times a day, he finally worked up the nerve to ask you out after telling himself he’d do so if he won your battle today. He did, and one nervous coffee date later, you two actually managed to start properly talking without needing Emmet (Emmet, of all people, even HE is shocked!) as the middleman.

⚫️ — All is well. You both share a great passion for battling—of course—and you find all his little quirks from his loud voice to stone face adorable. You definitely know you’re onto something real when you actually make him happily stim in public after saying he looks so cute and excited when he talks about the subway, something Ingo has tried incredibly hard to iron out through all the masking he’s done all his life. To be honest, you absolutely have him wrapped around your finger, but it’s okay, because you’re a total fool for him as well and would do anything to make him happy.

⚫️ — But as you two begin pondering how to define your relationship, wondering if it’s time to make things official, your Houndoom starts to realize Ingo is going to be more and more of a presence in your life as much more than a casual friend. And he takes issue with that.

⚫️ — Houndoom was always fine with Ingo before. The thrill of battling on the subway and having such worthy opponents was something you could tell Houndoom savored, which made it all the stranger that he began getting worryingly aggressive around Ingo.

⚫️ — You wanted to ask him to be your boyfriend officially a few times now, only for Houndoom to intrude by putting himself between you and Ingo, growling all the while as if he could sense what you were about to ask and did not like it.

⚫️ — Houndoom means well, he really does. He knows what happens when humans get close like this and knows that if you and Ingo continue down that path, he’ll be in your life all the time. Maybe even where you live. Maybe sleeping beside you. There to see you at your best and your worst and, most concerningly, your most vulnerable. But you only met recently, and even if his Pokemon seem to indicate he’s trustworthy, that doesn’t mean anything! You’re a part of the pack to Houndoom, and he is not about this total stranger (at least, a total stranger by his standards) being a permanent fixture in your life. How on earth could he earn the right to be by your side so easily? No, you’re part of his pack, and Houndoom is hellbent to keep you safe from the encroaching outsider.

⚫️ — (Does he completely miss how happy Ingo makes you? A bit—the protectiveness fogs up his perception, okay? And even if he does make you happy, Houndoom thinks the month and a half or so you’ve known each other for is not long enough to just welcome Ingo into the family with open arms.)

⚫️ — Ingo is… troubled, to say the least. He’s worried your Pokemon disliking him will make you dislike him, which you assure him otherwise. Even still, the Houndoom line is not native to Unova and Ingo knows very little about it, therefore he has absolutely no idea how to proceed. Unova has the Growlithe and Lillipup families, but they’re much more good-natured than this. Still, he loves you, and while he’s worried about causing friction with you and your Pokemon, your assurances that he’s fine are (relatively) enough to spur him to try and make peace with Houndoom.

⚫️ — Treats were some of the first things he tried, to minimal success. The only reason Houndoom let him into the house that day at all was because you begged and pleaded for him to lay off your boyfriend, and even then he watched you two like a hawk. Treats Ingo brought and Houndoom’s favorite snacks that you already had in the home did nothing to persuade him. Attempts to play? No. And Ingo knows better than to even think about petting him.

⚫️ — Eventually Ingo just starts rather desperately trying to exist around your Houndoom’s wrath. He loves you and doesn’t want to break the news but. Your Houndoom scares him.

⚫️ — You can’t say he didn’t try, though.

⚫️ — But then! One day, you get sick. It’s a pretty nasty stomach bug that lasts for a day but wreaks havoc while it’s there. You’re practically bed-bound from the severe nausea, but Ingo is there the entire time, fretting over you and caring for you like any good boyfriend should. Houndoom’s prerogative is the same. He’s worried for you and wants you to feel better. So while Ingo is bringing you plenty of fluids, nausea medication, blankets and pillows, Houndoom is there to cuddle up and keep you warm and calm. It’s just that… it’s very hard for Ingo to care for you when Houndoom won’t leave your side and growls whenever he gets close.

⚫️ — This time, though, Ingo doesn’t shy away. He’s too worried for you and even though Houndoom is being incredibly threatening and there is a part of him a bit worried for his own safety, he brushes right past Houndoom’s huffing and puffing to keep caring for you. He brings you water and helps lift the bottle to your lips while Houndoom snarls. He sits at the bedside and dabs at your face with a damp towel while getting death glares. His need to be wary of your Pokemon is greatly outweighed by his need to take care of you. Essentially, they’re both fighting for the role of your primary caretaker.

⚫️ — Time goes on, though, and Houndoom definitely notices how his snarling and snapping isn’t stopping Ingo from aiding you. And after all these negative interactions, Houndoom is finally stifling his concerns and instead just quietly watching. Then helping. He and Ingo have a common goal here. And while Ingo is certainly surprised to find the defensive Fire-type suddenly aiding him, it’s a welcome change. In seeing his dedication to you at your most vulnerable, Houndoom has at last deemed the Subway Master as a worthy partner.

⚫️ — While you’re sick, they continue working together to care for you until their own energy is spent. You wake up in the morning, a bit sweaty and nauseous, but otherwise feeling far better. And you look over to the foot of the bed where Houndoom usually curls up to see Ingo right there with him, resting his head on Houndoom’s side—the both of them are fast asleep, knocking out together after such long and dedicated day caring for you while you were sick. The hostility Houndoom regards Ingo with seems completely gone as he lets him rest against him to sleep. You can’t remember much of what happened last night, but you know both of your boys here were caring for you with all the love in the world…

⚫️ — And though you had been thinking this about Ingo for a while now, seeing Houndoom accept him at last really solidified the fact that Ingo was “the one”.

[mk-writes-stuff]

Writer Interview/Questionnaire Tag

Rules: answer the questions

Thanks @kaylinalexanderbooks and @moltenwrites for the tags!

About Me

When did you start writing?

In the fourth grade! I had a school assignment, but I was so excited to finally write about my OC (I had exactly one OC at the time). I still have the story, it’s awful :)

Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write?

I read the same things I write, for the most part. There are definitely things I read that aren’t quite what I would write, but my general preferences are the same

Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often?

Uhhh… I feel like Brandon Sanderson influenced me a lot. So did Alison Luhrs. But I don’t really intentionally emulate anyone, I just kind of write.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I write on my laptop on whatever reasonably soft surface is available, usually curled up like a shrimp. I’m working on having better writing posture but it’s a work in progress

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Most of my ideas come from developing a special interest and then talking to my gf for six hours about it. In terms of getting motivation to write, I am extremely bad at that, so I’ll get back to you :)

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about?

They did more when I was younger. You can still see shades of it sometimes, but not that much I don’t think

Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you?

Oh, absolutely. Recovery from trauma and abuse is probably the biggest one. The idea that healing is possible and the idea that, while there are shitty people out there, most people mean well, are two important ones. That and that every single person acts how they do for a reason. That reason might be that they’re selfish and entitled, but they have one

Characters:

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

I’m assuming you mean OCs (if we’re talking about fandom it’s Captain Rex from the Clone Wars) so I’ll go with Tatum because I can’t stop thinking about them recently

Tatum is a character from the Pirates’ Roost, and they’ve been through the fucking wringer. When you first meet them, they’re an unwilling lackey for a violently abusive captain who forces them to hurt and torture innocent people. They’re also dying of cancer and said captain has the only medicine keeping them alive. They get a recovery arc, absolutely, but there’s a lot of awful shit that happens to Tatum, including two separate awful exes, vampires, a stranger with magical drugs, their backstory reveal, and their extremely racist shitty teenage brother (don’t worry he gets better). They’re a really complicated character with a lot of depth and a lot of issues and their healing arc means a lot to me

They also are beefing with a bird and the bird is winning, so… they’ve got range :)

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

Hmmm. I think I would absolutely be pals with Stellaris. He’s a sweetie, and we’d have good autism to autism communication. I also think I could be friends with Corbin, the boatswain of the Sea Star, although honestly Corbin’s pretty friendly with anyone who does their job so he’s not too picky

Which characters would you dislike the most of you met them?

…Narcissus (although he is my gf’s OC). He’d annoy me so much

Honestly I’d dislike pretty much all the villains in my stories, they’re all pretty intolerable people. Special shout-out to the Thief from To Kill a Dead Thing though, because he’s not only a terrible person but also absolutely terrifying

Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters?

My gf comes up with some of them and helps me brainstorm a lot of them. The original concepts usually just kind of pop into my head, and I start building off of that, adding on details as they become relevant. It’s kind of hard to explain. Occasionally, I’ll see a character with some really compelling elements in a published work and use those for a base, but again, I’ll develop my own spin on them

Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?

Trauma. Pretty much all the major characters in my works have trauma. Other than that, a few recurring archetypes that tend to pop up:

Absolutely jacked lesbian

Extremely autistic

Small/dainty/effeminate woman with a personality of steel

Very pretty man

Mildly persnickety doctor who probably has too much on their plate

How do you picture your characters?

My brain. Also picrew, especially this one

My writing:

What’s your reason for writing?

Because I like it. Also it’s a good way to get my ideas out of my head to share them with other people

Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating?

Anything! (That’s not hate obviously). But probably my personal favourite is specific questions/speculation. I eat that up

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Um… I guess I’d like them to think I’m kind of cool? “Person who’s pretty friendly and made this cool thing” is my goal

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Characters and worldbuilding. Those are my two favourite aspects and I think I delve into them really well

What have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others?

I’ve been told my characterization and portrayal of complex/dark situations is good

How do you feel about your own writing?

I love it! Sometimes it’s not perfect but it caters to all my tastes. I reread my old work sometimes honestly, I just like it :)

If you were the last person on earth, would you still write?

Absolutely. I’d miss the feedback, but I’d still do it. It would give me something to pass the time, and I like what comes out

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both?

I write primarily for myself, but I do consider what others might enjoy. In the end, I prioritize what I want to write, but if I can also give some focus to what others might like, I want the people who put in the effort of reading my stuff to feel rewarded for that too

Thanks again for inviting me to do this one, it was great! @illarian-rambling @paeliae-occasionally @somethingclevermahogony @touloserlautrec would y’all like to give this one a go?

[maldreathezora]

I am going to fail at ending A New Calamity.

Today I listened to my parents talk about what kept them from becoming artists, or more to the point, "successful" artists. My Mom's a perfectionist and felt if she didn't get it right the first time, she never would. My Dad blames a girlfriend-stealing high school art professor. They're both real artists, by the way. My Dad, a retired construction worker, draws hyper realistic portraits. My mom doodles, sings opera and fixes computers. They both balk at the notion of sharing their artistic work online. They are in their 70's or almost. A mistrust of technology is not a surprise here.

I am on the autism spectrum. So I start more projects than I finish. I love coming up with new ideas and beginning new worlds. They generally fizzle out before the grand finale, unless I'm REALLY dedicated and doing it primarily for my own enjoyment. So ANC has that going for it.

A professor in college looked at my 2012 final portfolio, beautiful work but missing the all-important photo corners to center the pieces. I'll never forget what he said: You do good work, but you never quite finish it, do you?

I don't struggle with perfection, and I do. I try as hard as my cancer addled body lets me. Then I let it go out into the airwaves, and start the next page or frame or panel or project. I always forget the final touches.

Imperfect is kickass.

If you ask me.

Ever heard of Fail Harder? The basic gist is, try *so hard* that failing to achieve perfection is still an epic win. I'm going to fail at ending this comic in some way. I will put on my sunglasses and watch it burn beautifully.

Not everyone is going to be happy with my ending. I might not even be happy with it. It's based on my fight with cancer, for crying out loud. What kind of ending can we expect? Maybe I'll learn the secret of happiness before I die of cells that went extra. And maybe only my readers will be able to actually put that secret into practice.

I love you all. I love when you let me know how i've inspired or comforted you with this comic. That's what gets me out of bed in the afternoon. (1pm at minimum. Maybe noon.)

In conclusion, dear readers... I don't know what I'm doing, and I shall continue regardless. Peace.