#the anticipation is a bit much

[selfshipping-haven]

I am once again considering giving up an f/o

[knightofleo]

Angela Orosco Silent Hill 2

[funkyplantguy]

for the prompt asks thing: how about scarian as musicians of some sort?

rubbing my hands together. excellent, excellent - featuring: drummer!scar and singer!grian (meet-cute! kinda)

- now, in all honesty, grian had assumed that the showers would be empty at this time of night. i mean, really, who showered at 3 in the morning on a tuesday night? (freaks, that was who, freaks, and a totally normal insomniac who had maybe been up a touch too late working on his latest music project). plus - he'd never run into anyone in the showers at this time before, at least not this semester. he'd been pretty quick to memorize the bathroom routines of the people on his floor - and then use that knowledge to avoid each and every one of them. he wasn't antisocial, per say, just very busy - and plus, if he was going to be wasting valuable time showering, anyway, he might as well make use of the frankly incredible acoustics in the bathroom. so that's how he found himself here, standing completely naked in the showers, his rendition of some old pop ballad tapering off into loud applause from directly outside his shower stall.

"that was really good!" came the voice (one that grian did not recognize - for better or for worse). "wow! you're an incredible singer." the shock of it all left grian speechless - speechless, and frankly a little incredulous at the nerve of his mysterious audience. really - who stood outside of someone's shower stall just...listening to them sing? what kind of stalker behavior was that? was it a fan who had somehow figured out where he went to college? he did have a fanbase, after all - small, but weirdly dedicated. but no, that didn't make sense - they would have had to have a keycard to get into the building, especially at this time of night when there wasn't really anyone coming. then who...?

a few moments and a hasty pair of pajamas later, grian pulled the stall door open to reveal -

oh.

oh.

sitting in front of him was a man - a very handsome man at that, all wide, green eyes and genuine, toothy smile. a very handsome man in a wheelchair, parked patiently in front of the only wheelchair-accessible shower stall on the whole floor - namely, the stall that grian had been using. hot shame rose in his cheeks as he shuffled out of the way, clutching his shower bag tightly to his chest.

"sorry," he blurted, sheepishly. "i...i, um...there's usually nobody taking showers this late at night during the week, and, uh, i didn't know that you...um...that...that anyone ever used...or needed to use...uh...oh god, sorry. yeah. sorry. i'll leave you to it."

he turned to scamper back to his dorm room, already anticipating the scolding he'd get from his roommate when he recounted the experience the next morning, but the man's loud laughter had him stopping in his tracks (and not because it was the most gorgeous laugh he'd ever heard in his life, no, definitely not that).

"it's okay!" the other affirmed, light eyes twinkling even in the dull florescent lighting. "no worries - i'm scar, by the way. i just moved in this week. had a bit of a late start - the university messed up some of my accommodations and originally had me over in schaffer."

"the dorms at the top of the hill?" grian gawked, his own blunder momentarily forgotten. "how do they expect you to get up and down that every day?" "my question exactly!" scar responded. "apparently, they "didn't think about that", so...here i am. a bit behind the curve, but hey, what can you do." "complain to the dean, frankly." "tried that. he didn't seem to care." "jesus. this place sucks." "you're telling me!"

a silence fell over the two, then, and grian shifted his weight from foot to foot, suddenly feeling...exposed, under the piercing gaze from the other. he felt like scar was taking him apart with his eyes, studying every visible piece of him and stringing together opinions - conclusions - based on what he saw. fleetingly, grian wished that he'd bought that cute, matching pajama set he'd seen when he'd gone shopping with mumbo the week prior.

"anyway," scar started again, smooth voice cutting easily through the tension. "your voice is really good! i play the drums - we should hang sometime! maybe have a jammy session." "i - a...a what?" "a jammy session! y'know, where you get together and jammy out?" "scar, i think you mean jam out. a jam session?"

"oooooh," scar responded, raising a hand to scratch at his cheek. "yeah, that makes more sense. i thought there was something weird about that, but cub said 'no scar, you're right, it's a jammy session'. i should have known better than to trust that rapscallion." "oh! cub? i know cub! he's dating my roommate, mumbo!" "no way! that's so funny - small world! cub's so annoying about mumbo." "yeah, mumbo's annoying about him, too. it's kinda cute." "definitely cute." they fell into silence once more, one thankfully much less tense than the previous. grian found his eyes darting from scar's eyes to his faded t-shirt, to the small scar above his eyebrow, to the way his long, curly hair fell messily over his shoulder - taking in every aspect of his face, taking him apart in the same way that scar had done to him, mere moments earlier. maybe it was the late hour - maybe grian was more tired than he'd thought - but something about this felt like a dream...like he was going to blink and scar would be gone. he found that he didn't want that to happen. he found that he wanted to wake up tomorrow morning and get to hear that laugh again - that loud, joyful laugh - maybe every day for the rest of his life. "a jam session would be nice," he found himself saying. "maybe you can teach me how to play the drums. i'm really rubbish at most instruments, but maybe drums will be the exception?" "sounds great!" scar chirped back, a warm smile settling on his face. "we'll make a drummer out of you yet. hey - here's my number. text me in the morning, and we'll compare schedules. alright?" "yeah - okay, yeah, i'll do that. goodnight, scar." "goodnight, songbird." it was only an hour later, swaddled in blankets and the comfortable sound of mumbo's snoring, that grian realized he'd never given scar his name. ah well. that could be remedied...at a later date.

[karleksmumskladdkaka]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Vol. 7 Mukami Ruki Animate Tokuten Drama CD: “Sleeping Together ★ With Vampire"

Audio

No, not that kind of sleeping together.

...And yet somehow not really the other kind either because despite it's title there is LITTLE TO NO SLEEPING TOGETHER GOING ON AT ALL except at the very end TᴖT TᴖT TᴖT My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

Ok ok I'm obviously being overdramatic. Misleading name aside the CD is enjoyable and cute just...not at all in the way I was expecting (that being something akin to the Sleeping Vampire Scenario from Vandead Carnival but, alas, no). But oh well, I got to hear Ruki be all deredere towards the end so it's fine I guess lol

Ideally I'd create an actual translation to go along with this (I might do so sometime in the future, unless someone more competent does it first) but for now I've put a summary of the story under the cut. I ask that you please have mercy on me though, I am not used to writing this kind of stuff and it probably shows >﹏<;

Regardless, I hope you enjoy ( ﾉ^ω^)ﾉ ⋆⁺₊☽⁺₊⋆

UPDATE: The CD now has an actual translation courtesy of my fellow Ruki stan @otomehonyaku o(^o^)o please go check it out if you haven't already!

[Disclaimer: I always allow my stuff to be used for translation purposes, as long as I am credited. But please do not reupload the audio anywhere]

Summary ~*×*☆*+*~

[Please note that there may be mistakes or I might've misinterpreted parts of the CD. I apologize in advance (╥﹏╥)]

The CD starts with Ruki encountering Yui, who is carrying an unusually large package. Curious, Ruki asks her what she's doing, and learns that Kou has tasked her with delivering the package to him (Ruki). Ruki is somewhat perplexed as he doesn't recall requesting anything of the kind. Yui suggests that it might be a surprise gift, but Ruki is skeptical. He wants to ask Kou directly but is reminded that he is currently away on a location shoot. With a resigned sigh, Ruki decides that he has no choice but to open the package in Kou's absence. He asks Yui to hand the package to him, and then invites her to come along to his room to find out what's inside. She eagerly accepts, and they head off together.

In Ruki's room they take a seat (on what I assume to be the sofa) and open the package. Inside, there are various wooden pieces resembling parts of something, along with a letter from Kou. Ruki reads the letter aloud and it's revealed that the package contains a (*drumroll*)... puzzle! And not just any puzzle but a ✨️3D puzzle✨️. In the letter Kou encourages Ruki and Yui to assemble the parts together to discover what they will form. Since he's got spare time on his hands Ruki decides to have a go at it, with Yui joining in.

After a while of working on the puzzle, Ruki asks Yui how her part is coming along. She shows him, and he comments that she's doing better than he anticipated. He helps her out with some difficult pieces before instructing her to continue on her own. Yui asks Ruki if this is his first time putting together a 3D puzzle, and he replies that he's tried some before, but that this particular type is new to him. Yui is eager to learn what it is they are building, and Ruki, not wanting to dampen her anticipation, pretends he still can't quite figure out what the finished thing will be either (awww ♡). Ruki suggests that rather than moving their mouths they should focus on moving their hands as with their current pace the puzzle won't be finished. He reasons that the faster they move the sooner they'll have their curiosity satisfied. Yui agrees to work faster and Ruki promises to do the same.

They pick up the pace and eventually the puzzle is done. The assembled pieces have formed a small foreign castle, and Ruki reveals that he suspected as much from the start. He surmises that Kou must have remembered their expressed desire to visit such a castle after seeing one by chance on one of his TV shows. Ruki acknowledges Kou's attempt to make the two of them happy in his own way. He praises Yui for doing a great job despite not knowing what they were actually assembling, noting that the part she made fits perfectly into the castle.

However, there is no response from Yui, causing a puzzled (ahaha) Ruki to remark on her lack of reaction to something she had been so excited about. Turning his head to the side to look at her, Ruki discovers that she's fallen asleep with her head resting on his shoulder. He comments on the privilege of such a sleeping position but acknowledges that it's understandable she'd fall asleep since it's past their usual bedtime. She had seemed so engrossed in their work that he didn't notice her drifting off.

Ruki carries Yui to his bed and gently places her there, saying that she should have just told him that she was tired. He realizes that she likely made an effort to stay awake until the end, though she ultimately fell asleep. Deciding that it would be a good time for him to go to sleep as well, he tidies up and hides the little castle under the table, so that he'll be able to see Yui's reaction to it in the morning.

Returning to the bed, Ruki asks Yui to scoot over to make room for him, but she's sleeping too soundly to hear. He lies down next to her and (in true Mukami Ruki fashion) begins observing Yui's sleeping face. He notes how relaxed her expression is and wonders if it's because she's tired out from using her brain (lmao rude). Ruki then ponders what kind of face Yui will make when she wakes up—will she feel guilty for falling asleep before the puzzle was finished, or will she be surprised and embarrassed to find him laying next to her? Regardless of what her reaction will be, Ruki knows that it'll be enjoyable to witness. But he's certain she'll be happy once she sees the completed puzzle and admits to himself that he really wants to see that expression on her face. He's aware that it's out of character for him, and thinks that he might even have trouble falling asleep from the excitement (asdfsdjfj this is too fucking cute I can't)

Ruki decides that he should thank Kou for the useful gift by making him his favorite food for dinner tomorrow. The mention of dinner causes Yui to stir (what a relatable Queen), and Ruki teases her for being greedy. He assures the still-sleeping girl that she doesn't need to worry; he'll make her favorite dish as well as a reward for her hard work on the puzzle.

The CD ends with Ruki saying how he looks forward to seeing Yui's reaction the following day.

Fin ~*×*☽*+*~

- _(´ω`_)⌒)_

[glitterghost]

Noah's voice is like when you're finally at that breaking point where the smallest, feather like movement of air will be all it takes for you to just absolutely fall over the edge, onto your knees, disintegrating into your feelings. His voice & those breathy vocal deliveries are that air, and I am on the floor, lying in the ashes of my emotions.

[jelzorz]

171.

There's a wedding in the castle that everyone goes to because it's Barius' niece. Callum doesn't really know much about her—he hadn't had the easiest time making friends when he was younger (step-prince thing and all), and she's a few years older than him so he he's never has much to do with her. He thinks he remembers her flirting with Soren when they were younger maybe?—but everyone else is going, so he goes because he doesn't get a choice.

"It'll be fun," Ez promises.

Weddings, in Callum's opinion, are supposed to be for close friends and family, which he, in this case, is very much not. "I don't think I've ever even spoken to Alys," he grumbles.

"Yeah, but she's Barius' family, and Barius is basically our family. Come on, Callum. You should come." Ez gives him that look he perfected years ago: big eyes, jutted-out lip, and Callum rolls his eyes and sighs, lips twitching just a little at how well his brother can wheedle.

So he goes. It's a good time. Opeli conducts the ceremony, as always, and Alys and her new husband say their vows and kiss before a crowd of friends and family and friends of family (Barius cries as the ceremony closes), and then it's all dancing and drinks outside in the warm spring air. There are lights strung over the gardens, and Soren has too much wine and Ez has too much cake, and Callum finds it isn't too bad, all things considered. Alys seems friendly enough. He hopes she and her new husband have a lovely time.

But long before the party winds down, Callum drifts away, as he's wont to do these days. It's too loud and there's too many people and he just doesn't really have it in him to dance. He's been told it's rude to leave before the bride and groom so he sticks it out, but he does, eventually, find a bench a little way away, close enough that he can still hear the laughter and pretend he's having a good time, but far enough from the crowd that they can't see the downturn in his lips.

Ez finds him when the tea comes out. He brings over two teacups, his smile genuine but apologetic and a little remorseful all at once. He sits down next to Callum and the air buzzes with a bunch of things he wants to say that he doesn't. Callum accepts the tea without a word.

"You okay?" Ez asks in the end.

Callum breathes out a chuckle and keeps his eyes on his tea. "It's just loud," he says. "I had fun."

"Did you actually?"

"Yeah," he says. "It was a good night."

Ez snorts ruefully. "You don't have to lie. I'm sorry I made you come out. I know you're still having a hard time."

"Mm." Callum only shrugs and stares into his tea. Steam curls over his face but he barely feels it. There are ripples forming over the reflection of the moon.

He sighs. "Do you think this might have been us if she'd stayed?"

Ez chuckles sadly and sets a hand on his shoulder. "Yeah," he murmurs. "I think so."

[marc--chilton]

(mgv) house's heats are so awful and painful that even if he and wilson aren't synced up, his misery will pull a sympathetic rut response out of him at times anyway. mostly out of wilson's sheer compulsion to Help Him -- and knowing that no one knows house like he does so no one really understands the best way to pull him from the brink; it's a job wilson treasures dearly, secretly -- but also..... in body and mind, wilson's scared to see house anywhere near the state he was after stacy left. the mournful, grieving wails of someone whose bond with their mate is dying, slower than any regular breakup, who lost most of the function in one leg that will now spasm and hurt for the rest of his life, who lost the one person he'd happily call his mate, who lost a pup he hadn't known was developing until it was gone..... so. so what if wilson drops everything for him? he has very good reason, thank you very much

[b4kuch1n]

Hi! it's dember and some stuff has Happened and I am now in need of a buffer between now and lunar new year. so I'm opening for

digital ink commission

How this works is

comms will open for one hour at a time or until 5 pieces are in the queue, whichever condition comes later

I will edit and reblog this post when it opens or closes, so if you're not sure if I'm taking comms or not please click through to the original post to check!

I will take commissions via email to b4kuch1n@gmail.com; please include visual or textual references as well as your PayPal email in your inquiry.

a confirmation email will be sent out once your commission's added to the queue. I reserve the right to turn down any commission I receive (in which case I'll also tell you via email)

payment will be through PayPal - please wait for the invoice before paying - and made in full before I start on your commission.

there will be no sketch revision. please keep this in mind when preparing your references

UPDATE 30/12/2023: Commission closed! Thank you very much for the support!

[moreaujeans]

quite pleasantly surprised by wicked movie but i Will say we were robbed of elphaba leaning in close to glinda saying “come with me to the emerald city” followed by glinda’s “i’ve always wanted to see the emerald city” while looking deep into her eyes arms around her shoulders twirling elphaba’s hair

[astralleywright]

the thing is, like, imogen is blunt, and indecisive, and impulsive. she's cynical, angry at the world, and seemingly much less interested in doing good than in holding on to her loved ones. she's hypocritical, incredibly violent one moment and horrified at the prospect the next. she's passive aggressive, on occasion. she's overly critical. she's scatterbrained.

and all of that stuff is very fucking fascinating, and so fun to watch, and core to what makes her her. but not only are those things not the totality of imogen as a character, they're very much inextricable from the things that make her sympathetic.

imogen has spent much of the last decade of her life in pain, and isolated because of it. when she wasn't alone she couldn't relax, having to keep tight control over her mind so as to not get overwhelmed or invade the privacy of others. because even through all that pain and loneliness, she still bore the responsibility not to impose on other people's minds. and when she fails or slips up or gives in, all of the distrust and suspicion she recieves regardless is suddenly viewed as justified.

which is not to say imogen is not responsible for her actions, or the harm she causes others. of course she is! no one is saying she isn't! but, just like literally every other person, her actions don't exist in a void but within the context of both her past and present.

analyzing that context and coming up with explanations of her behavior that consider it is not excusing her actions or refusing to acknowledge her flaws. it is not coddling imogen to sympathize with her even when she's fucking up. these are pretty standard ways to discuss a character you enjoy actually! it's weird that having a nuanced perspective on a character's actions is being treated as an issue!

[authenticcadence18]

Twice this week I have received comments on Can’t Help Falling in Love critiquing my use of tags and I’m just like?

those “extra” tags have been there for four years? no im not going to delete them?? I think if it truly was a big issue one of my moots/writer friends would’ve brought it up to me by now???

I use tags to express my creative voice and personality. And I DO include lots of real tags.

if someone makes something FOR FREE and it’s not harmful maybe just say what you like about it and move on?

like? do yall like my tags?? have my tags dissuaded you from checking out my stuff??? because I’ve been posting on ao3 since 2019 and this is the first time anyone has ever brought it up :/

[aibouart]

admittedly, i am afraid to talk about this, but have wanted to for a long while. i don't see a lot of people discuss this kind of thing, but i decided to do so for the me who was struggling and didn't know. also i have no idea where i am going with this and it's very late for me rn so here's a whole ass ramble on vent art. and also a bit more on how it's impacting how i view my art, now. i am terribly sorry if it's not very cohesive, my thoughts on it aren't yet cohesive either WOOPS

i wanted to talk a bit about how vent art really impacted my mental health, and how the idea that art needs some kind of meaning to have meaning really has been weighing on me lately (i know this is a concept i am assigning to my work and is not actually the norm/standard expectation of others consuming art. but it IS a sentiment i have seen enough that does impact me).

i want to specify, obviously i am not saying vent art is bad.

nor that doing vent pieces, or vent blogs, will ultimately result in what i went through for a number of years. rather, that this did happen to me, and there is a near impossible chance i am a unique case in any experience i will ever have. if you do vent art and it helps you, that's good! im not judging anyone for anything here. if your experience does not match my own, that's what it's like to be human~. i am not invalidating anyone on purpose by sharing my own experience. sorry for the insane disclaimer but it will eat me alive if i go to sleep thinking "what if they think x cuz i didn't say y and think im a terrible person"

---

i used to do vent art frequently (you won't find much on here as it was uploaded to a personal at the time). anytime i felt down or had a line of dialogue in my head making me feel bad in a way, i would draw for it. but the way i had interacted with it was really unhealthy. it became a terrible feedback loop where i'd feel bad, draw how i felt bad, look at the art, and ruminate even more on how i felt bad, until it spiralled so out of control i would lose touch with reality and get lost entirely in feeling like garbage.

i would just get so lost in the cycle with vent art that it would make my mental space worse and worse, and i would use the vent art as a negative confirmation bias. the words that hurt me i wrote down and anytime i looked again, they would hurt me again. but i would keep looking, and i would keep drawing.

i have always used art as an outlet, but for some reason the way vent art impacted me was unhealthy. it wasn't a good outlet. and it took me years to cut ties with it. i relied on vent art for a long time, but it took a lot of introspection and thinking to realise it wasn't the release i thought it was. and it was hard to let go, too.

i haven't touched the blog in a few months, now. i haven't done much vent art at all since then and genuinely, i've been doing SOOO much better. i no longer ruminate nearly as much as i had done so, i no longer get caught in a feedback loop that lasts for days to weeks. i still feel like garbage like people tend to do, but i don't put myself in a cycle over it anymore. i have gone back to it a few times in moments of desperation, but what used to be every week/every few weeks is now once a month maybe. and not to the extent at all (i would oftentimes post ~20 images in one night, before).

but i keep thinking about how, while the way i had done vent art was bad for my mental health, i keep feeling that just because i do sparkly cute and happy drawings, now, or drawings with no real meaning, that my art has nothing beyond face value... i do like a lot of my vent art. i think their compositions, or hidden messages and meanings, or colour use, was interesting.

but it wasn't worth the price for me.

so i am a bit caught in an in-between, here. my favourite form of art is the expression of love-you liked something so much, you dedicated time to draw it. and yet i cannot ascribe that to my own work very often. i think that man i wish i could make art with some kind of deeper meaning, that speaks to people, that's more than just pretty colours or shiny shading or a character everyone likes, or a character i like. but i just... don't know if it's for me.

ultimately, i could develop a healthy relationship with expressing and exploring negative emotions or experiences through art, but... do i want to? do i have to? do i need to? is it not enough to just draw something because... i like it..?

of course, the answer is yes, draw what you want, draw how you want, it's your art. but i am still trying to come to terms with that idea. i dont want to be seen as some shallow artist who just draws what's cute and pretty because they can and it's all they can think of, but like what if that's just what i like to draw??

in the end, that alone is good enough, drawing because you like to, because it's fun, because you like the thing you're dedicating time to creating for. it's just hard to grapple with after discarding a type of art that i felt was the only way i drew "for real".

anyways i am sorry this is soooo fucking long, and for all the clarifications (IM STILL NOT SAYING VENT ART BAD AND EVERYONE WILL DO WHAT I DID!! Dx) and the fact i had no real point here (probably)

anyways i will continue to draw what i want because i like to, as i have always been.

[slusheeduck]

"I think I will go back to the Summerset plotline because I want to see Sotha Sil again" "...I am remembering why it has taken me this long to do the Summerset plotline."

[dangaer]

ships where muse a is outwardly insane and while muse b is much more calm than them, is equally or in their own way insane inside ( especially if its towards their dynamic with muse a. ) are truly beautiful though.

[sarchasmmm]

Sunday sunday 7

I ms painted him

[sainz100]

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