#thats what im telling myself anyways
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impossible minecraft more like. um. uuummmm........ uhhhhhh
#idk if they already have like a duo name but i propose umbra duo#cause thats what the darkest shadow of the moon is called me thinks#and also yknoe umbra witches from bayonetta.... they both have links to witchy stuffs throughout their serieses#please please im so smart dont kick me out of the club please#or anything else related to the eclipse idk shadows moons theres alot to pull from there#anyways i loved these two hanging out in impossible smp#and what better way to free myself from artblock than to draw blocks#very hasty and messy but i like it maybe it can represent the cutthroatness of the mod#pack#whatever#you can tell whos design i had more fun doing#might expand these idk i dont follow up on art ideas i blow them to the wind like dandelions#pearlescentmoon#ldshadowlady#WAIT ITS CALLED IMPOSSIBLE MINECRAFT NOT IMPOSSIBLE SMP whered i get that from#impossible minecraft#eloscoredraws
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Me: well p3 was sure a fun game but it’s very long and tedious to finish, especially with all this other stress in my life! I should only play shorter or more relaxed games for a while now before moving onto something long again!
Me the next day: time to start a new save on p5 royal!
#the klock keeps ticking#I NEVER LEARN#though i mean im not gonna be like super committed to it im just gonna tune in whenever i want#thats what im telling myself anyways#but in my defense i finally got my ps4 back in my custody and p5 and ze are like the only games i have on it#and i was just really excited about having them again SO WHAT CHOICE DID I HAVE#um also i may have a uh confession to make 👉👈#i never actually finished royal because i just put off the mementos palace for so long i just gave up#cuz that part of the game is really excruciating and boring sorry and i never went to mementos yikes#so yeah um ive just straight up never played the super cool bonus palace in royal 😳#i know like the overall summary of it but not what its actually like and i hear its really good#plus i like akechi so i really need to do that 🤪#gotta lot of reasons!#and well i miss p5 it feels so good to play it
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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Please don't hurt yourself
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#library of ruina#hod#hod lobcorp#hod lobotomy corporation#hod library of ruina#erm... michelle. hii michelle. going to have to spoiler tag for you though baby#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobcorp spoilers#okay i think thats it#no shading because this made me want to KILL YMSELF#it looks fone w out it anyways. yay. thank you filter after effects for saving my ass this . hurt me so muchh to try to finish#nothing specific that had me make this. at least from lobcorp lor. its more of having more empathy towards my past self or when i was young#than me. right now. it feels as if the past is so devoid of my current self yet i know that its Me. its just so distant. to the point where#at times it feels as if the me of the past is devoid of the current me. im told im very empathetic? hard to tell. that im patient and kind#or more of understanding to everyone but Myself. so when i try to be kind to myself it feels impossible. but im able to do it to my past se#which makes a disconnect. please dont hurt youself. please dont hate youself. you dont need to do that. i know you want to live it hurts#i know. its alright to want to live. you dont need to apologize and feel Guilty. but never towards Myself. to console and wish to soothe bu#not to the current self. to pardon and accept but not to this Me. so i wanted to put it down kinda. felt most similar to hod ish.#its guilt for living. apologizing for existing. wanting to be accepted and pardoned. but also forgiving and accepting the self of before#not so much forgiving. forgive is a weird word. the hurt never leaves. and the guilt is there regardless. but. yknow. accept#sorry some random shit. yappin. who gaf abt that guy. who was that guy. anyways. hod <3 HODD!!!#just like to ramble abt what i think abt when i go to make pieces. since i uhh dont really have anyone to tell who would care. so. awkward.#god thats embarrassing actuallt migjt delete if im not lazy asf later. loser oversharing on the internet AHH 💥💥#uhmm back to the actual piece. the proportions and fhe coloring were having me feel like i was dging trying to get it right. almost#considered just gettinf rid of it and scrapping the whole piece. didnt though. wanted to have it done and finished. hod <3#the feeligns described arent what i would relate w hod? but closest chatacter towards the general thougut. so wanfed to draw her#i wanted to do more w ligjting and such as well. but it never ended up getting in. maybe later
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One makes him up, so the other can break him down.
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This is a little terrifying but hello!! Posted my first fic on ao3!! I would've saved the illustrations for the fic's eyes only, but I'm too happy with them haha. Hope you'll still go on to read regardless!!
As always, my thoughts and progress, since I can't help myself:
I'm soooooo proud of these. I never ever really do dramatic lighting, so I'm really surprised that I pulled it off.
It's surreal actually posting this because for a while, I've thought about how if I ever post a fic, I'll have to make illustrations too because I can't do anything not full force. Look at me now! I'm shocked. Also didn't think I'd finish it tonight, but here it sits before you nevertheless(though as always, I'm writing this past my bedtime before class, time efficient as always.) So with that being said, here are some notes, though if I had known I'd be writing this so soon, I would've prepared more lol.
First of all, I hope it's clear both of these are Mark's perception. Gah, the fact that his face is the only one you can see clearly. The first is obviously him unwillingly fantasizing about what exactly went down last night.
Aghhhhh the difference in colors and settings of the two drawings is so important to me. The warmth and intimacy of the bed behind curtains in the first one, and the coldness and openess of the second. It's so clear Mark feels like he's been distanced, like he's been ousted. It's like he's been thrown outside on a cold winter's day, no longer able to feel the heat from the comfortable warm stove inside.
Mark was probably assigned to Seb bcs he has a much greater appreciation for the Spanish etiquette, which Seb has very little interest in. He'll abide by it when he absolutely has to. But he's just a very non-typical Emperor. People find it charming so it's not a public death sentence for him, but it is an issue. Thus, Mark is there to keep him in line. Though important to note that when Fernando, who has an equal if not greater respect for the showmanship of etiquette, realizes Mark is interested in that as well, they start warming up to each other.
The inherent disrespect of Fernando just. Throwing Seb's clothing onto the floor. Meanwhile he probably took like, 20 minutes folding his up(that's what Seb was gonna tell Mark at the end of the fic.) Borderline ripping off Seb's clothes only to edge him. Its not even like the ripping off the clothes is because of passion or anything, he's deliberately being an asshole. Don't worry Nandl, Seb's turned on by it!
So sorry to marknando fans if their dynamic feels like a complete 180 haha. Its not like I'm like, they actually hate each other!! It's just their relationship under completely different circumstances. They're like two dogs in a dog fight, they don't have any real reason to hate each other, but they're put against each other regardless. They don't understand their hatred, just know that they have it and that they're supposed to have it. The inherent hatred the mistress has for the spouse, and vice versa. If they actually were able to talk without barriers, they'd realize they actually get along pretty well. They kinda just hate each other because of their respective relationships to Seb. And then there's Seb who's mostly completely oblivious to his effect, though of course plays with it a bit.
Seb's marriage completely recontextualizes their relationship in Mark's eyes. Though there's something incredibly sado-masochistic about the way he can't blame Seb for it at all. He's a loyal dog after all. But when it was just them, he was obviously Seb's main companion and lover. Seb definitely slept with people on the side, but Mark brushed that off: 1. Bcs its very period typical. 2. He was the main, they were the side, what more needs to be said! But now *he's* the side piece, and is left wondering if their relationship was down to proximity alone. Not to pull a Mark and completely excuse Seb, but it's not. Just very different perceptions of love and relationships. And again, as I've mentioned before, he was raised to always be the most important person in the room, so he obviously has very different understandings, especially since he's always the center.
NANDL!!!!!! In my Habsburg book I've been reading lately, they randomly referred to one of them affectionately as "Nandl" and it's stuck in my head ever since. Can we start a movement to canonize that as an official Fernando nickname? I'm sooooo fond of it, I litrally ended the fic that way just so I could shoehorn that nickname in.
Speaking of the ending. It was really tough, I almost wanted to have Fernando burst in, looking for his ring, and then coming across whatever that is. But I didn't want to disrupt their moment anymore, it felt cruel. Though shame I couldn't mention that the reason why Seb's pants are nowhere to be found is because Fernando accidentally put them on and didn't realize till he was out of the room.
*I FORGOT TO POINT OUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS! Truly the danger of writing a post while falling asleep. There's something so incredibly funny to me the way they're talking so refined and then Seb just throws out: "that guy." It's a way to show his own disrespect of Fernando, not even using his name, implying he's just some guy(nur ein Kerl.) I laughed writing it cause it reminds me of the random dry humor anecdotes I've read lately.
#GAAAHHH WHY DO I ALWAYS WRITE THESE WHEN I START FEELING SLEEP DIZZY#haha anyways. first fic!!! so terrified icl#i really cant tell if this makes sense or appeals to anyone but me#BUT I LIKE IT AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS#im ngl i started feeling way too existential and self critical of it so i somehow pushed myself to finish it despite#working on it w a lot of delay and fuss for the month prior#yay for being anxious and self hating i guess....?#waugh anyways please reblog/comment and let me know what you think!!!!!!!#im desperate to know how others perceive this slddsfjls#though im a little scared this fic is too mean LOL#f1#formula 1#mark webber#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#catie.art.#boy king au#sebmark#martian#vettonso
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If i think of horrendous inappropriate things about magneto tonight no i didnt
#nsft#snap chats#sorry. im drunk 😔#i am holding back as much as possible i promise but i need to let ONE horrendous thought loose. i fear its too overwhelming#the images are too strong and if i could id draw them for my eyes sake but i cannot so im subjecting you all to them AGRIL ALVIGNE???#sorry bars playing avril lavigne: anyway.#highey i always have inapropri thoughts about charles and erik but i restrain myself for the sake o the people …#i simply need him bouncing on it like idk what to tell you guys#UGH i need to draw my 309 comic. no he isnt bouncing on it in that but i just keep thinking bout it#i cant make that comic fully nsft for tumblr but i do have such a variant in my brain#‘snap youre obsesed with that issue’ and why would i not be its literally top five fic tropes ever#i will not stop talking about this ish until i properly draw fanart for it#like ……… UGH#maybe Next next weekend. maybe for my birthday weekend#my birthday falls on a friday thats fucked#anyways im gonna sit here having gross thoughts while with the fam. theyre playing uno maybe ill open google doc and start drafting …..#maybe ill release an nsft fic ver of the comic if i cant show that publicly who knows#maybe if im generrous one of these fucks won uno omg#ok bye im getting another espresso martini#jk im getting sn old fashioned ……#wait they have chess here…………………. im bouta fuck it up …..
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bro shes weak to water help her!!!
#incredibly rare non-hisui claire art#anyway I am obsessed with these tweets. my shitty dog gnesibert and panzerfried my beloveds#im still getting used to digital drawing and also drawing animals#I keep telling myself if I get my settings right and find the proper brush it'll click but unfortunately no such luck#instead it just wastes my time messing w stuff :/ ig i just need to doodle more and get a better workflow#still not sure what canvas settings I should use tho thats my biggest problem#pmd#my art#mine#mare marginis#pmd eos#pmd2
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My angel, my pride and joy, my beloved AKA the Good Hunter Ruza lmao 🧡 ft. Her Lost Chikage and her fun outfit from these screenshots! + some lil headshots of her in the Yharnam Hunter Garb, a look I also care Deeply About ✨️
#sin scribbles#bloodborne#good hunter#good hunter bloodborne#hunter bloodborne#bloodborne oc#bloodborne oc ; ruza#(ITS DONE CAN U BELIEVE IT I SURE CANT!!!!)#(yes. i repeat. this was largely inspired and enforced by me playin d/m/c5 again. LOL.)#(look.......is it my fault my favourite games happen 2 both be about monster hunters with cool swords???)#(anyways whatever AHEM *shuffles notes*)#(i do rly like ruza in the knights garb tbf its fun and flashy. especially in game where everything is dark af)#(very fun to draw. but i prefer her in the actual hunting garb so THATS WHAT WE STICKIN WITH.)#(at least for now idk my mind changes like the weather sis thats largely why i havent given her a new ref sheet)#(or posted her new bio bc tbh im cursed!!!)#(as soon as i post a ref or a bio i immediately want to change it all. so. i just wont LOL)#(if yall still curious about her u can just send an ask or a dm or smth i dont bite 😂)#(this was supposed to be a sketch sheet can u tell i lied deceived played myself to filth)#(bonus cainhurst armor look bc i love that set SOOOOO....much)#(watch out yall sin is back at it with her nonsense cloth physics again)
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there is nothing funnier than jameson bringing up the way mackie's dad tried to get him with tate mcrae (to which his dad subsequently deleted the tweet soon thereafter) but the damage was done and yes mackie was chirped hard for it both by fellow kitties and his other friends alike but its okay he thought it was funny either way
shame it didnt work though or so he wishes...
BMW Teammate of the Month | 1.14.25 (x)
#mackie samoskevich#florida panthers#2425#babe now thats what i call sports journalism!#jameson always ask the questions i tell myself arent that important but im nosyyy tell me#thanks gossip girl youre a real one#jamesone going “so i gotta ask...” ONE OF US ONE OF US#also them talking about mackies dad as they play a clip of forsy lifting him up the 2nd time for a celly YEAH I KNOW THATS RIGHT#THATS HIS KID!!!#mackie giggling throughout all of this but you can tell hes still slightly embarrassed about it#teenager whos dad had to pitch for him#very appreciate but still so embarrassed#IM SO GLAD THE KITTIES GROUP CHAT DID NOT LET HIM LIVE THIS ONE DOWN#our media team versus putting clips of maffhew during segements vaguely talking about guys chirping#they clocked him#we know it was maffhew he definitely was one of them#kid who was destroyed for wearing a shirt under his robe because he thought he exposed too much skin#despite his slutty uncles waltzing in with their robes open to the world#and now this?#happy first full year up mackie WELCOME TO THE NHL KID!!!!!#anyways the little jokingly wistful “it hasnt worked yet but we'll see”#baby wants that to work so bad#very fair mcraes a cutie i get it man#we still got time bud
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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(Realizes that the most common transman experiences perfectly align with my life and feelings about myself and fascinations and who I want to be with) Ohhhh Okay i am fucked
#I do really wish i could just snap my fingers and pilot a cisman's body around#Rather than go through the crucible of visibly transitioning. it seems like a waste to do it when the times are so awful.#I honestly still doubt myself so much but#I can only do so many years of Why are you perceiving me as a woman#Before the shit starts getting real#People really just dont take you fucking seriously. Like even at this point where im at now i still dont know if im quote unquote valid#Because maybe its just a feminist issue and the misogyny is rampant#But an emotional sensitive defensive anxious reactive woman is what i am seen as. Somehow.#When I have gone lengths to ensure that even those close to me do not see a hint of my unchained emotional reality. Just really beats it in#I am entirely logical when I describe my experiences to my family. Clinical and detatched and intentional. And they think i am to be coddle#All the fucking time. Exhausting. I don't want that. I want to come to mutual understanding. Not to beg for emotional attention.#Thats the only thing that ever visibly cracks me. Being horribly misunderstood and taken out of context. Logical self defense being denied.#And being full of estrogen just reinforces that shit. Im a frustration crier. If I had testosterone maybe it wouldnt prove people right.#When you bite back as a woman you are just a bitch.#My fear is that I will be an emotional transgender man that wants to be coddled. I am afraid it will be worse to be that.#I really do just want to be able to live and work and be taken seriously when I say what I mean and what my mind is like.#I want a chance at life. I feel like I'm seen as a hapless girl. Damaged and begging to be freed of all responsibility#No bitch I want to move out and actively build a life for myself and RAISE MYSELF! after years of being misunderstood and alone#And also i want to do homosexual war reenactments with another man or something i dont know i just wish it could be me#Maybe ill just donate blood and faint again#Anyway. Joker. Society. I am the joker#Who wanna reply and tell me if im a valid transman or not. I get chest dysphoria when i have proper posture.#I get ass and hip dysphoria.#Low key having a bangin body as a woman though confuses me still bc maybe i just like being hot more than i gaf about transitioning#It reeeeeally helps that my face has an impeccable T zone. Its kind of masc as hell.
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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i can feel a wave of depression building up rn ☹️😧
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gonna read a bunch of cherik fics to settle it down before it gets too bad
#love having depression making me sad for no fuckin reason 🤨#if i didnt have a class soon i would watch dp#although don’t know how well that would help my mood#complete character butchering in it#charles got partially depressed after becoming bald#i feel you girl#i’m not bald tho#if someone tried to watch the xmen films in chronological order i wonder how confused they would be to see raven die and then come back#this is why you watch it by release order#still doesn’t make sense cause the writer haven’t got a clue on how to keep things consistent but anyway#my brain is being depressed but also trying to figure out how to structure a fic#i havent written one in years#i got the sense of it needing to be perfect first try#need to get rid of that mindset asap#i got the weirdest combo of being mentally ill and emotionally intelligent#it pisses me off sometimes#i don’t need a therapist i have myself telling me whats what#thats a lie i do need to talk to people#why can’t i think of cherik 24/7 why do i need to have problems? ☹️#anyway i’m bored and im gonna figure out what to do with myself before my class starts#prob read a fic figure out how these people write while also enjoy the stories#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#x men#magneto#professor x
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wait im rewatching saw 2004 and as a germaphobe one of the cruelest things i had to watch adam endure was dig around in that toilet ("find anything?" "no solids!" 🤢) anyway so he had just taken out the play me tape out of a ziploc bag and that stuck with me because I was like okay that's something he could use idk for what but for something, and so then that toilet scene happens and im like yelling at my screen adam!!! no!!!!!!!!! use the ziploc bag as a glove ahhhhhhh !! but he just went right in there with only one small moment of hesitation
#adam faulkner stanheight#saw 2004#sawposting#lawrence gordon#no bro if lawrence had told me to do that shit id be like fuck you . doctor. all the way in the other side of the room#i dont care . you find a way to this side and dig around in there#mine#but also im very grateful that he got to dip his hands in clean water when he opened the tank and searched in there#wait . no i just rewound and he didnt even use his dirty hand so it will remain dirty i guess#saw#but the whole bathroom is dirty and theyre just sitting in it and rolling around on the floor and standing barefoot so#it just really does not matter lmao#also i dont mean to sound like you have to be a germaphobe to find that scene nasty lol#but im unfortunately actually working through some obsessive handwashing that i had to go to the doctor for and he just gave me a whole#speech about how germs arent /that/ bad and i looked at him like no dont do this to me not you . like betrayal in my eyes because a doctor#was telling me hand washing is not necessary all the time! and i know what he meant but still anyway lmao thats what i mean when i refer to#myself as a germaphobe . so when a character gets their hands dirty it's something i focus on too much#because of my own personal experience with that sort of thing
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thinkin about how important it is for submissives to take control of their own submission and understand their own agency in kink and to communicate for themselves
#sometimes…sometimes the little ‘uwu I can’t talk about what I want ! don’t make me say anything durinh sex i wont be able to! im so shyy!’#really starts to concern me#cause its like…you guys arent using this as a crutch to deny responsibility for your own sexuality and submission right???? right????#like you have to be able to confront the fact that you want sex and are an active participant in a scene#sex isnt something thats supposed to *happen* to you its something you’re supposed to *do*#and im sure its just the internet echo chamber throwing things around at me !#cause i think most people know this but i just see sooooo many fucking posts#‘uwu if you try to talk to me during sex i wont be able to!’ ‘uwu i cant tell anyone what i want in sexxx youll just have to drag it oit of#me im so embarrassed!’#like guys…we’re not damsels in distress here and youre supposed to be an active participant in your own sex life#being a safe participant in kink means bein able to recognize your agency in sex and communicating your desires your comforts your boundari#s and more !#anyways#its genuinely not a big deal i just let myself get wound up by internet posts#which im trying to make happen less because theres no reason for rhat to be happening to me constantly 🫶🏻#unimportant thoughts
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/946b5236ea06f3084e82ecaf2462ab45/3448d51f6a875b59-9b/s540x810/72af421a2d2c14bd984ba4912e9bb89239384cb3.jpg)
She is one piece now!!!! Sleeve island was not that bad. Joining sleeves in the round while doing intarsia in the round though. Fucking nightmare. I hate it here. You all better cheer and clap for this fucking W or im blowing this whole building up.
#the sweater#telling myself this isnt the most stitches ive ever had on my needles by a long shot#but stilllll the rows are sooooo fucking long#like this is only 208 stitches#and im a shawl knitter okay. i made a wingspan. that bitch prolly had 500+ stitches by the end#but stilllllllll#i mean its def the most stitches ive had in a plain stockinette round thats for sure#only like 10 more rows of intarsia in the round and then im free!!!!#then its time to do plain stockinette for approx. ten years. and then a little bit of colorwork around the neck. and then a collar.#and then im DONE!!!!!!#btw this sweater pattern has an afterthought hem???? hello???? girl????#why would u do that.... what do you have against casting on in rib on smaller needles.....#anyways i didnt do that bc i. didnt notice.
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