#thats still better bc it means you want him to be HAPPY
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gayofthefae · 10 months ago
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Yk how I say to ground myself in the reality of Byler endgame I think about stuff like the love confession becomes a sound on acting TikTok like Laurie's confession to Amy did?
Do you know what went viral for Milkvan? No, guess.
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Maybe the thing your ship is known for shouldn't be "I don't love you" just a thought not great marketing for that to be the memorable one 💀
It's used for cosplayers and actors etc. in application to scenes where people ACTUALLY don't love each other like girl...if someone doesn't know about them in this show THIS will be their introduction. And if you think that doesn't happen, that's how I found Bridgerton and Little Women(2019).
There is at least SOMEBODY out there who this was the first thing they saw of Stranger Things. Volume 1 ended and what ppl took away from it wasn't "he can say ily and is waiting to" it was that he doesn't, they just went along passively with it when he did. But they were actively invested in him not so it's still more famous 💀.
But like- I'll stop but- the speed at which this was just accepted as fact and people got on their tiktoks to apply to other things like-. There's more nuance and depth to this one to play as an actor bc there's more nuance and depth internally resonating to him than the ily speech.
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 1 month ago
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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perenlop · 1 year ago
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Sitting on these but I may rename my Cubone hero "Vega" (referring to the "fallen star" meaning) and Skitty partner "Milo"
#also want to rework skitty's personality because i feel like his dynamic with vega is too similar to the partners in other games#like ''the partner is the one with more drive and pushes the hero to succeed despite their own troubles''#is something im leaning into with psmd and gti already#its hard cause like... im sorry rt partner easily has the least going for them out of all the pmd partners and its kinda sad#i mean they have content but personality wise theyre just... generically kinda supportive of you#it could just be that i have less emotional attachment to the character than with the other partners but yeah#but like rin is happy to be a vulpix and is deeply curious while nimbus is the anxious one who needs a push#and eris had already given up on his life before transforming and is now stuck in a pikachu body and pushed to save the world#and elliott doesnt let xemself express or feel negative emotions because xey think forcing xemself to be happy constantly#is better for them#and still ironing out the psmd team but froakie (hero) is a deeply anxious person who is terrified of the world and their new body#while riolu (partner) is loud and overconfident and has a genuinely kind heart and wants to see the entire world#so while thats still kinda similar to pmd2 its a roleswap and theyre still different#but like... idk what dynamic to go for with cubone/skitty that isnt too similar to those#ive decided that cubone is definitely fucked up cause shes a cubone. im thinking she's someone who is kinda desensitized to things#and is so determined in her goals that she doesn't care if people who oppose her get hurt. which is why pkmn square believes gengar#but where does that leave skitty bc i already have ''hero who is a pessimist while partner is an optimist''#i had him as this really determined guy who was brave and stuff but i kinda have that already with psmd partner#i have the idea of him being a gardevoir parallel so maybe he'll actually be really gentle?#echoed voice
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prodkeiji · 2 years ago
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ep 9 is a lot to process uhm
#well yang kindaaa went batshit crazy (only bc of that fucking cat whos the real antagonist all along) but im glad she still got herself tgt#ruby is obviously gonna live i think. but yea its implied but idt shes gna use cresent rose anymore 💔💔 LIKE NOOO CRESENT ROSE WAS SO OG#also what the actual fuck is going on w the fight scene like????#okay i get why neo has no reason to return anymore BUT JAUNE FALLING?#LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ROOSTER TEETH IS HE DEAD DONT YOU DARE KILL HIM OFF I FUCKING SWEAR#i hate that fucking cat so much bro hes so annoying i want him DEAD by next week once the final ep drops#but if he dies ... does that mean neo will die to since shes the vessel :(#as much as i hope thats not gna be the case it's a bitttt inevitable? pls let me have my delusions of neo having her redemption arc pleasee#anyways go ruby do what makes u happy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 as much as i love cresent rose if not using her anymore is what makes u heal +#+ happy i will have no complaints do whats best for you baby 🥹 ueueue i love her sm#no but what if she just uses summers weapons to kill off that cat#and then when they go back to remnant it's back to cresent rose (im delusional)#it's very impossible looking at rubys situation now but hey one can dream yk#SPEAKING OF SUMMER I WAS VERY SURPRISED WHEN I SAW HER IN THE FIRST BIT#i wish they showed her face like cmon why is rt acting like we didnt see her face in that one season like?? 🙁 let me see the pretty mother#AGAIN WHAT THE FUCK IS RWBY V9 EP 9 it felt like some type of filler ep 💀 not that i hate it but it was kinda short to me#season finale next week better be good or else im gna be so mad like we did not just see neo getting POSSESSED all 4 a bad ending 4 the szn#on a side note: i hope we get to see the others again pls pls pls i NEED renora development 😣😣 my og childhood bffs to lovers 40k words +#+ mutual pining and slowburn romance (it took them 8 seasons to kiss)#rwby v9 spoilers#this was so long to break down damn sorry for the typos i am not redoing all of these tags just to correct them
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with-my-calamitous-love · 3 months ago
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WHAT IF I CANT HAVE US?
katsuki bakugou x reader
texts katsuki struggled to send you.
part 1/3
different than what i usually write, but i thought i’d try it out
inspired by down bad
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11:06 pm
kats: hey, idiot
kats: i’m sorry
11:10 pm
kats: i messed up
kats: happy?
11:18 pm
kats: ok im sorry again
kats: i just got jealous when i heard you went out with icyhot, thats all
kats: i know im the one that broke up with you
kats: but that doesn’t mean i was okay with seeing you go out with some other guy
kats: i know thats fucking stupid you don’t need to tell me
12:01 am
kats: i know you’re still mad at me
kats: i shouldn’t have freaked out like that when i saw ur instagram story
kats: shitty hair’s making me type most of this shit btw
12:53 am
kats: ok we’re alone he went to bed
kats: i can see ur online
kats: do you still have me saved with ur dumbass nickname
kats: i kinda hope you do
1:02 am
kats: i regret not texting you more often
kats: im sorry i was so dry
kats: but you’re the only person i’d ever text back
kats: i actually liked hearing from you
kats: im sorry
1:17 am
kats: i broke up with us bc i wasn’t treating you right and i went home everyday feeling like a shitty boyfriend. you deserved better
kats: i did it for ur own good, idiot
kats: especially after what i did to you
kats: i can’t ever make that up
kats: the guilt was killing me
kats: and after that i knew you deserved more
kats: but i miss you
kats: and im sorry i didn’t tell you the truth
kats: i take back everything i said
2:00 am
kats: are you asleep?
kats: whatever you’ll read this in the morning
kats: you left your moisturizer here
kats: i wish i could call you. i fucking miss your voice. im sorry
2:49 am
kats: you know ur the only person i want
kats: theres literally no one else
kats: and idk what i’ll do if i can’t have us
kats: i was an idiot to let you go
kats: im sorry about freaking out about that half and half bastard but im so much better for you
kats: i make you laugh
kats: i bet you were faking it with him
kats: even if you weren’t. lie to me
kats: i miss you
3:33 am
kats: you’re the prettiest person i have ever seen
kats: did i tell you that enough?
kats: well i’ll tell you now
kats: even if you slam the door in my face i’ll still tell you ur beautiful idc
kats: you’re so pretty it makes me angry
kats: i saw a photo of you in my gallery
kats: my mom says she misses you
3:51 am
kats: is ur apartment cold
kats: im sorry i never fixed your heater
kats: i should’ve made the time
kats: but i liked when you came to me for warmth
kats: maybe i didn’t fix it on purpose
kats: if you don’t take me back i’ll still fix it
kats: i love you like that
4:04 am
katsuki (do not answer) : have i told you that enough? that i love you?
katsuki (do not answer): im sorry
katsuki (do not answer): for not telling you i love you enough
katsuki (do not answer): for not telling you how god damn pretty you are
katsuki (do not answer): for not buying you flowers
katsuki (do not answer): for not treating you how i should have
katsuki (do not answer): i know i messed up
katsuki (do not answer): but i wanna make it right
katsuki (do not answer): you’re my whole fucking world
katsuki (do not answer): and i do love you
katsuki (do not answer): so open the door, im outside
part two soon! 🪽
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dansevilpianotea · 20 days ago
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bc dan acts SOO different now compared to wad. sth mustve really clicked in him after doing a solo tour. go watch any video/stream now from that era (ideally not dd bc that was a hightly conceptual character apparently) and you can see that he was trying so hard to be seen as someone else. to get approval from the wrong crowd, as he recently talked about dont get me wrong, i love wad the show itself, but you have to admit that dan hadnt really decided who he wanted to be seen as yet (in a post-coming out, post-phouse univers) before he went on tour, so the person he was during that era reflected that.
it was very hard for me to distinguish the dystopia daily persona to his usual online character because he hadnt really shown enough of that (at the time, post-coming out, mid-hiatus) to be distinguishable from his pre-pandemic, pre-ywgttn depressed lol xd dan character. he just wasnt around a lot. [i think thats what he got wrong with dd. he thought we knew him better than we did at the time but he also wanted to establish his independence from the dnp branding which unfortunately expressed himself as a form of resentment against people who still associated him with that (us phannies). this is why it felt regressive and made me sad, because the dd character seemed like an old, unhappier version of the same dan.]
but now.. look at how happy he is. he is smiling. dan is shining like the sun on a beautiful summer day and is fully embracing his past and his audience.
he doesn't feel the need to crack jokes about whoring it up all over america because he doesnt like commitment or making jabs at his audience for falling for clickbaity 'we are in a relationship'-type titles. he is not resentful anymore. he's not just laughing with us but he is IN on the joke now. he thinks we are funny! and in fact admitted that he doesn't really care about flirting with strangers and is oblivious to being flirted with because he doesnt have any need to.
it seems like he has healed a lot of old wounds regarding his audience. during wad he saw with his own eyes that we arent out to get him but in fact will support him in whatever he's doing. and now this new tour is the victory lap. he's taking phil with him. he is proud to be down bad for his man. 'no fucks left to give' for dan means not putting up the wall anymore protecting his inner child from what it fears are the bullies. he's doing it for himself now, for phil. for them. not for the attention of the wrong people. not for the approval of straight men like those who bullied him. he's doing it for his community of queer people. he knows he's safe here. he trusts us. 'we know you know'. i'm proud of both our community and proud of dnp for that. we really made ourselves get here despite how draining and back-and-forth the hiatus was. maybe the real phan really were the phriends we made along the way <3.
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a-little-lostmoon · 3 months ago
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some LU headshots in my style for personal reference. subject to change bc drawing consistently is a bitch but overall i think i’m happy w them! (ignore the comic/writing idea in the upper right corner it may or may not be made into a full think idk yet—)
typed notes for each lu member + a little extra below cut
wild—
oval eyes
rounder oval ((ish)) face
amber earrings
healed scarring
androgynous
i tried to reference the boys’ canonical character models to individualize their features more. i love botw and totk sm but personally i’m not the hugest fan of the way the characters look for it? even so, i think the rounder sort of eye shape works really well for my wild
his colors specifically i drew to be a bit more sunset kissed/orangeish bc i was referencing a wild photo in which the time was sunset. thats abt it. but i think it’s really pretty on him so i’m probably just keeping that whenever i draw wild
warriors—
cheek bones/jawline
rounder ears
pointy eyes ((eyeliner that could stab a person))
cheek scar bc i felt like it
i stole away some of wars’ side fringes, forgive me i couldn’t decide whether i wanted them to cover up his jawline and chickened out. if anyone actually read the comic thing you’ll see smth abt the old man and wars talking abt how his hair parted to the other side of his face during the war. i made it to ‘vent my frustrations’ bc i drew his hair part referencing HW photos of link instead of LU wars and it’s now become my headcanon.
his hair color is vivid bc HW color pallet is pretty damn vivid and his eyes & earrings are a deeper blue to match his scarf. color coordination!
anw he’s a pretty boy so i made him pretty — that’s pretty much the rest i have to say abt that
time—
tired eyes
longest ears
(slight) rbf
both time & legend have half circle/oval eyes ((kind of. at least that’s what i tried to go for to give them a more worn/serious look))
i’m not the best with differentiating ages. i tried to make him look a bit more worn/oldest but i also wanted all of them to still carry some of that classic pretty boy link look. don’t have much else to say but he has the longest/angular ears bc fairy boy. let’s pretend four’s don’t look longer than his i drew him later and forgot
twilight—
<-takes more features from malon ((who i haven’t drawn yet so you don’t have any reference on that))
pretty boy face (wasn’t intentional but it is what it is)
twilight princess link is v pretty. twilights usually one of the more rugged (for lack of a better term) looking ones bc he’s among the taller ones/apart of the “adult” squad but i accidentally made him very pretty looking. oops. don’t know if that will remain consistent for him if i draw him more so we shall see
him and time share less features than i might’ve wanted? you can see a bit of time’s jaw in the way his face curves but overall they don’t share many features. again, he takes more after malon. but their hair textures are incredibly similar if that means anything
gave him jade studs bc they reminded him of midna and are practical enough that he can just keep them in the whole time (bc he will lose them or forget abt them if he takes them off)
sky—
rounder face
big eyes
lips
big ears
his hair color was a bitch to get right im not sorry i had to say it color is so hard to work with. in any case! skyward sword link has bigger looking eyes cus of the style and i just ran w that. his earrings are magenta to match sun’s dress but look red when the light catches them right (or wrong ig bc they look red in dim light too) just bc i realized his earrings were red to match his outfit/crimson.
sky and the next three (everyone sans wind) probly look the least off their character models
legend—
oval iris
full rbf
multiple piercings ((this is important for u to know))
longer narrow face & features
boy’s a strawberry blond bc i said so. and also legend purple eyes propaganda. i don’t know where exactly that originated but like i love it and im on board. he also has purple stud earrings he always keeps in — curious, isn’t it. he probably has more than i gave him but well, thats all i gave him. it gets the picture across. hc that legend realized he couldn’t get more fingers for his rings but he could get more piercings that could handle jewelry that did almost exactly the same thing. practicality!
also i couldn’t decide on legend’s hair length. its all hidden by that hat of his so i just… didn’t draw the back half portion of his hair. does that make my legend bald at the back of his head? you decide.
hyrule—
wide face narrow chin
freckles!!!
bigger earlobes
the earlobes is me projecting /hj but i tried to reference the og link’s face shape for him which idk if i like yet. he has freckles and more accent colors in his hair and eyes which is a subtle thing but a sorta maybe reference to his fairy magic. no piercings for him! i forgot them/didnt see them on og link and can’t really imagine when hyrule would ever get the time to pierce them so he and wind can do that together eventually to bond. legend will do it probly — he obviously has the experience and wild can’t be trusted (offered to pierce winds ears with a knife canonically)
wind—
big eyes
void eyes
big ears but rounder than skys
soft face
fluffy hair
wind’s 100 yard stare *does* things to the chain but none of them tell him that because he’d definitely use it to freak people out. i couldnt decide between going lighter sun bleached hair wind or bright blinding yellow toon link hair so i kind of meshed them together to create that. tried to make him the youngest looking
four—
symmetrical angles ((and then i drew a polygon quadrilateral bc thats the shape i used as a reference)) for cheeks and eyes
minish feather ((earring))
minish ears & nose
hime bangs
yk the picture of a minish that comes up when googled? thats what i used as a reference for his features. ears specifically, nose somewhat. four’s eyes are usually the greyish hazel color you get from mixing all of their colors together but i liked the split look for this piece more. his hair color is also wind’s but inverted so wind’s lights are four’s highlights and his darks make up the brunt of the base color as a slight reference to how it’s occasionally theorized/hc that wind is four’s descendant.
and the hime bangs were bc i wanted a little more “link side fringe” variation and i thought the sort of straight cut looked nice. hime bangs are not the right term tho bc he parts them to the side and doesn’t have that straight cut on his forehead but i’m too lazy to fight the correct term
— thank u for reading, go hydrate and eat if you have not <3
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rhysandsfavwhore · 29 days ago
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Sweet Dreams (pt.2)
Rhysand x fem!reader
content; angsty(ish), fluff
notes; brb gonna go find like 50 words instead of ‘said’ bc in fed up of using it😭
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You woke up, wincing at the morning light that shone through the gaps of the curtains. it must have been around six in the morning. as you woke up, you felt a heavy weight on your chest. you looked down and saw Rhys lay on top of you, hugging your waist with his head buried in your chest.
It took you a moment to remember what had happened last night, and a small blush appeared on your face as you looked down at the man currently using your chest as a pillow.
He looked so innocent when he was asleep, and you found yourself wondering if he really was asleep for your confession.
as you admired his childlike face as he slept, you jumped slightly as he groaned, pulling you out of your daydreaming.
Rhys stirred from his sleep after a few minutes, his eyes slowly opening and adjusting to the light. He then seemed to realize that he was on top of you, his arms wrapped around your waist and his head buried against your chest.
He couldn’t hide the blush that suddenly appeared on his cheeks, and he slowly sat up, his gaze refusing to lift from the sheets.
You lay still watching him slowly rise from your chest, unsure what to day or do. “hey, feeling better now?” you said praying he was asleep when you confessed your feelings to him last night.
Rhys nodded, his gaze still trained on the sheets below him. He couldn’t bring himself to look at you, not after everything that had happened last night.
He’d been practically begging for your attention on his lap like a kicked puppy, and somehow, he’d managed to accidentally discover how you felt about him. He should’ve been thrilled, he should’ve confessed his own feelings right there… But he couldn’t. He was afraid.
You furrowed your brows as he avoided eye contact, “Rhys, whats wrong” you questioned wondering if he was still stressed over paperwork or there was something else he hadnt told you.
Rhys was still refusing to look directly at you, and you could almost hear the wheels turning in his brain. He should be happy, absolutely ecstatic after what he learned last night. Yet now he was conflicted, he was overthinking.
“I heard what you said last night,” He muttered out finally, “I was still awake.”
Your eyes widened at his words, panic flowing over you. if he was so upset, does he not feel the same way? have you ruined the friendship both of you have been relying on since you were children? “oh god Rhys, im sorry i thought you were asleep. please ignore what i said, i dont want to make things awkward between us” you blurted out, scared for his response.
Rhys’ eyes snapped up to meet yours at your words. You didn’t want to make things awkward between you two? Did you not mean what you said?
He’d been assuming that you’d be elated that he’d finally heard your feelings, but now you’re saying you want to ignore it?
“You… don’t feel that way about me?” He asked, a hint of desperation in his tone.
you were shocked at his response, you were expecting him to brush it off, say its fine we dont have to talk about it, and go back to his work, but this? maybe he did feel the same way… “uh well no. no i do feel that way but…”
Rhys felt his heart sink for a second, when you had first said that “no,” but then you continued. You did feel that way, but…? But what?
He was looking directly at you now, his eyes practically begging for you to finish the thought.
“but, but if you dont” you carried on, your voice slightly shaking, “ if you dont thats fine but i hope i haven’t ruined our friendship.” you started at your hands and fiddled with the hem of your shirt. now you were the one scared to look him in the eyes.
There was a moment of silence between you two after you spoke, Rhys was unsure how to respond. Did you… think that confessing how you felt was going to ruin your friendship?
This man was practically dumbfounded.
“You.. you think that you telling me that you love me is going to ruin our friendship?” He asked, his tone almost incredulous. “Why would you even think that?”
“well you dont feel the same way, do you?” you asked, confused yet a hint of surprise laced in your voice at his disbelief.
“Who told you I don’t feel the same way about you?” Rhys demanded, his own tone growing frustrated. “For cauldron’s sake, I heard you last night. I heard you say you’ve loved me for who knows how long, and you’re assuming that I don’t return the damn feeling?”
“i dont know. im sorry i just didnt think you saw me as more than a friend” you said hardly above whisper, worry washing over you at his now displeased tone.
Rhys groaned in frustration as he ran a hand through his hair, he wasn’t upset with you, he was upset with himself.
“You didn’t think I saw you as more than a friend…?” He repeated in disbelief. “Did I… did I really do such a poor job hiding my feelings that you seriously thought I didn’t love you?”
You shot your head up, eyes wide. you couldn’t have heard him right, he loved you? after all this time you pined over him in secret, the feeling was mutual? “you- you what” you said in disbelief.
A soft smile appeared on Rhys’ face at your reaction, he was so very amused. Had you really not noticed how desperately in love with you he was?
“You heard me. I love you.” He repeated, a slightly teasing undertone in his voice.
you sat in shock, staring right at him, completely speechless. you had no idea what to say or do, you never expected this.
Rhys watched you sit in silence, and he couldn’t help but chuckle. You looked so confused, so surprised. He felt almost amused at seeing you react this way.
He knew he’d have to push the conversation along himself or you’d probably sit there blinking at him for ages.
“Say something.” He implored, an expectant smile on his face.
“please pinch me” you said with a slight chuckle, closing your eyes in a look of peace, relief.
Rhys’ eyes glimmered with amusement as he gently pinched your arm. “There. Was that proof enough for you, or do I need to pinch you some more?”
“i think you can come up with something better than pinching me” you grinned, reaching your arms around his neck as he still kneeled above you.
A small shiver ran down Rhys’ spine as your hands moved around his neck, drawing him closer to you.
He could feel the heat rising to his face. “And what would you suggest, hm?” His eyes were fixed on yours, his expression practically cocky.
“god are you literally going to make me- ”
You didn’t even get the chance to fully finish your sentence before Rhys’ lips were pressed against yours. His arms snaked around your waist, pulling you closer; his lips moved against yours with a surprising amount of need.
He was clearly holding nothing back.
You started giggling and pulled away, seeing kitts furrowed eyebrows and confused expression. “god this could’ve happened so long ago if we both weren’t so blind” you chuckled at the thought.
Rhys watched as you pulled away from the kiss, and suddenly let out a bark of a laugh at your comment.
Rhys expression turned from amused to smug as he spoke. He was smirking as he said, “we have much lost time to make up for”
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tacharie · 4 months ago
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Thoughts for The Montkraken Episode
so, I just finished the chapter and… wow I have a lot to say. I took screen shots for every part I wanted to talk about and I think this rant will be SUPERRRR long so bear with me. Tumblr won’t let me add screenshots so when I have better service I’ll edit the post to add them. These paragraphs are theories and side notes that I wrote after reading a certain section so you’re gonna see my thought process throughout the story. As always, spoilers ahead so I recommend skipping this if you haven’t read it already.
Alright so I was once a hater of this ship BUT… the Shobaru shippers may have a point in this guys 😭. LIKE.. I HAVE THE SCREENSHOT OF SUBARU BLUSHING UHHH. That is not a heterosexual stare feller 🤨…
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AHHHHHHH THE FROSTHEIM DUO ARE BACKKKKK!!! I missed them so so much they’re so silly and deserve the best. Honestly the only two I trust in this school cause I CANT. I literally suspect anyone but them, but Imma be so disappointed if either of them are hiding something. I’ll be sad, but like I’ll help 🙄. I was actually so sad when the MC mentioned being the reason they could be in danger like GIRLLLLL DONT SAY THAT PLEASEEEEE. ITS LIKE THE ANGST WITH ADEUCE AND YUU LIKE STAWPOPP. Also when the Vagastorm kids were like “aw yeah Mido wouldn’t lie like that” it makes me happy that people can at least trust him enough to be honest and idk I found that kinda sweet :3. We’re also getting a bit of a timeline, like the One-Eyed Sleeping Beauty Murder being BEFORE the clash (sorry if this was already mentioned I don’t really remember stuff from the past chapters) which could’ve been a trigger.
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Also, I feel like they’re trying to tell us that Jiro is Zenji’s brother because when he had that little laugh about the MC being scared of bodies, he said too. When you click the “too?” option, he just says that he isn’t the one afraid. It’s not Yuri as well cause he’s literally a doctor that is in the same room when autopsies are in session. Whatever the case, I assume he was referencing to Zenji, though it being a blurry memory. Little theory tho.
OK SO THIS IS JUST SO FUNNY TO ME. In Chapter 9’s title it says, “Girl Learns Shocking Truth About Monster”. I like to think the shocking truth was the fact he didn’t shower for 3 days 😭. CAUSE THATS THE PART SHE SOUNDS MOST SHOCKED. Idk that part was silly to me. THEY’RE OUTFITS FOR THEIR DORM IS SOOOOOO PRETTY. They ate I fear, a bit more than the other dorms. Also side note, they dropped A LOT of info with just how they word things. For example, Yuri saying “Jiro, you are well aware that I will not be associated with those germs AGAIN.” Soooo Yuri was in Frostheim? I don’t doubt it bc there’s another line that says “I’d rather not recall how bitterly cold that place is” which can MEAN TWO THINGS. I’m super sure that they’re implying that yeah, he was, but then something happened blah blah blah.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH HYDE AND DANTE??? Like ok bitches, spill your shot to us too don’t be shy. So, confirmed by them, Dante and Hyde used to go to school in Darkwick (which I assume the rest of the teachers are too). That explains their back and forth. WHAT REALLY CAUGHT MY EYE WERE THESE LINES.
Hyde: “…You really are a softie, Dan-Dan.” (Haha Dan- Dan)
Dante: “It would seem that way to someone as cold as you.” (???) “…There are lines that shouldn’t be crossed, Hyde.”
Hyde: “…I’ll keep that in mind.”
WHATTTTT. WHAT ARE THE LINES. GO IN DETAIL ARGHHHHH. This gives us more info on the character individually too. Dante describes Hyde as cold… DANTE. So, it was obvious that this whole happy go lucky attitude was fake, but I expected to be more like Haru’s kind of attitude not like that yk?? now I know how much of a cash grab this game is, but I really hope they aren’t going to stretch the story out too long to the point where you have to P2W cause I haven’t paid a cent and I don’t plan to. I still want to learn more about them and stuff so :(. On the topic of Dante, there was a small flashback where I missed a word in the sentence that Dante said while talking with Alan. “I’m the man you supposedly killed.” Supposedly?? Now, I didn’t my catch this in my first run, but now it’s like wdym supposedly?? Shouldn’t you know? This is giving hella Jiro vibes and honestly, I’m getting sick and tired of these characters having a bad memory.
SPEAKING OF JIRO- he seems to have problems remembering things and they come back to him in the very weird moments (honestly a kin moment). I would like the think that he’s just suffering from the damages he had to go through from the clash. His relationship with Yuri is so… sad to me. Yuri seems to doubt him a little bit and I feel like he sees him as just a specimen, not much of a friend. Meanwhile, Jiro smiles a lot to Yuri and listens to him like a master, like that’s what he’s supposed to do. NOT AGAINST HIS OWN WILL DONT GET ME WRONG. He’s just so neutral about it it makes me a bit like awwww :(. They’re cute tho idrc.
Ok moving on to Haku and Tohma. (Ok at this point I’m getting nervous cause why are we seeing so many characters now. That’s probably just a coincidence). OK THESE TWO HAVE GOT IT GOING. Like there’s tension when you get their chat in the campus but this is like woahhhh… Also I don’t like how Tohma says “our wheelhouse? I see..” it makes me think he’s like implying “so you think you’re a part of them now?” IDK THATS JUST MY LITTLE STRETCH. Also poor Zenji, he’s like “aw yeah I died in vain lol” LIKE OUCH.
Nicholas. I DO NOT LIKE HIM. I REPEAT. I DO NOT LIKE HIM FOR A MINUTE OF A SECOND. The only staff I like are the cats, the grocer guy, and MAYBE Dante. LIKE HES SO… NORMAL?? LIKE THERE’S SOMETHING WEIRD GOING ON IK THERE IS. When MC says “I can’t believe Professor Nicolas would do something like that” I DO 😡🙋‍♀️. I am in full support of Yuri finding crimes against this guy.
Also, little other side note, I just realized that Yuri and Jiro have matching earring in opposite ears. It’s so cute.
Ok I might have to go back to the beginning and see what the “goat like anomaly” Jiro is talking about when he mentions the prophecy, cause I said “… the chancellor is a goat??” BUT ANYWAYS. Speaking of the prophecy, I’ll jot it down.
“The whisper of the new moon shall lead the champion to the academy on the solitary island. So long as the champion resides there, the world shall be sheltered from profound tragedy.”
Stating the obvious here, but this is most likely referencing to the last cutscenes we get when we choose our characters. I’ve checked the cutscenes again and there’s no visible moon, meaning it could correlate to the “new moon” portion. (Search up new moon to see what I mean). Assuming Solitary island means death, that would also help with the theory. So, whoever we chose in the beginning might just be the person who won the Laurel Crown.Honestly, this is just a silly little Drabble for a theory and VERY vague. Maybe the champion resides in the events of the past that we still don’t know about but this kinda helps?? Idk I’m just putting what I think at the moment. I’ll probably reread the game so I can get a better timeline. Also, Yuri’s rant about demon particles… doesn’t exactly sit right with me. Were they chosen to be resilient or was it just a birth thing?? Idk but I feel like a lot is missing from his theory. I mean, we’re using human logic to a supernatural cause so I don’t think pacts acting as allergies would work. If they’re not chosen, could it be that the ghouls can make pacts with more than one demon? I wanna see what happens if that was the case. Please comment if I missed something 😭.
Ok Towa appeared. (Why are we seeing so many characters I don’t like this) and we went back to that tree… WHAT IS THAT TREE?? And what the hell do you mean the fruit grew? What is that fruit supposed to be? An anomaly going to birth?? Is it supposed to represent the houses?? Motivation?? It seems so weird to me cause we just got introduced to that tree last episode. Sighs.
OK REN AND RITSU. WHAT IS GOING ON. I GUESS SINCE THIS IS THE LADT CHAPTER FOR INTRODUCING CHARACTERS BUT LIKE … STOP. I feel like something is going to happen with the MC pls 😭. Anyway, those two talking about ramen is so cute please don’t ever change you virgin and lizard looking freak 🫶( with love of course). GROCER GUYYYYYYY. YIPPEE :3!! I love that the cat is the owner and not the human lmao.
Also I will always be a MC defender cause she is so relatable. “Why are hospitals so creepy at night?” GIRL IKKKKKK. Idc what y’all say, the fact that she’s normal is keeping me sane from these freaky deaky events. ILOVE NORMAL CHARACTERS! LIKE MATSUDA FROM DEATH NOTE OR THAT ONE GUY FROM MASHELE. Anyways, I love her little comments and everything she’s so silly. Idrc if she doesn’t have much of a backbone cause honestly, she’s surrounded by danger so the best she should do is listen to the people that are constantly surrounded by it.
ALSO NEW THING. (Well idk if it’s new but yeah).
mention of a Dionysia Breakout. <—— Idk what that is, but it sounds like a little more. I love little details and slip ups thanks characters <3!!
HA! HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA! I WIN NICOLAS 😈!!! YOU DO HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE. AND I WILL FIND IT TRUST YOU WILL BE DELT WITH. I WILL KNOW THE PRIOR PAST >:(!! Also, Moby is being soooo annoying tbh. More character descriptions to add: competitive as a teacher. NO ONE WILL MAKE YOU HATE YOU JIRO ‼️‼️‼️ HES SO SWEET He literally asks if we’re scared and says we can hang back awwww. Though he doesn’t understand much, he can use logic and he can at least understand how we feel. It’s a nice sentiment :)!
I can’t take the transformation seriously I’m sorry. I’m still impressed by Yuri’s deductive skills and the transformation just sounded like he was constipated.
THE WHOLE BATTLE SCENE WAS EPIC!! MC HESITATING BECAUSE OF LEOS WORDS BUT STILL PUSHING FORWARD. YURI GETTING FLUSTERED. JIRO SMILING AND TRUSTING YURI’S ORDERS. THE FUNNY EXCHANGE ABOUT MUSCLE WHEN THEY WERE CARRYING THE POD. Those annoying ass pussy sticks we call Darkwick students 😡. JIRO LOOKING BADASS AFTER THE SHOT. URGHHHH I LOVE THIS CHAPTER.
HARU AND PEEKABOOOOO!! AHHHHH IM SO HAPPY I SEE THEM AGAIN!! I’m so glad he’s going to Hyde too cause I’m not ready. Also… the mermaid thing is so weird. For the Montkraken Mermaid, they seem to refer to it as “it” or “that mermaid”, but when they speak of the second mermaid, they use personal pronouns like “he /him”. Haru’s expression as well when he heard someone was abusing mermaid flesh… it’s a new one with a little crease under his eye. It’s such a sad face like, did he know this mermaid personally or was this fear?? Either way, I wanna meet him cause the other one was so pretty.
…You guys know the “I see who you are… you are my enemy” sound that’s on TikTok or reels or wtv? YEAH THATS SONG WAS PLAYING IN MY HEAD WHEN HYDE SAID WE HAD TO DO A SPEECH. HYDE IM IN YOUR WALLS. URGHHHH I HATE HIMMMMM. Call to action my ass IK either Taiga or Leo are gonna get their asses out of the door after the speech. OR BOTH. I’m starting to tweak.
NOOOOO THE SPEECH IS THE NEXT CHAPTER?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I feel so bad for Zenji… like I’m so deadass. Dude he sounds so sad about how he’s dead it’s so.. URGHHHH. ALSO I CALLED IT. THEY ARE BROTHERS. AHAHHAHA!! Well it was kinda obvious cause everyone thought it too but WOMP WOMP. Also I love his real name, Taro Kirisaki. It’s pretty :)!! But these lines killed me
“and though I have taken my final blow, my brotherly heart can’t help but worry for my kin. … Not that he has any idea I’m still around.” YEOUCH?? I DIDNT COME TO CRY BRO…
I’m tweaking out because of this speech bro. I’m gonna choose the corniest stuff and hope for the best. “I feel bad please stop for me 🥺” headass.
Taiga is officially my enemy as well. I called that shit about him leaving URGH. WHAT A FLIBBERTYJIBBET!! His outfit eats tho so it balances out. LIKE DAMNNNN. HE LOOKS SO GOOD.
DOUBLE?? TRIPLE??? QUINTUPLE???? HELL I MIGHT BECOME A GHOUL TO GET THAT MONEY GOLLY 😍😍😍!! CAUSE IN THIS ECONOMY??Also thanks Jin you a real one twin. Bouta split this cash with my wife and I’ll send you a wedding invite.
EDWARD. ED PLEASE. STOP PUTTING ME IN THE SPOTLIGHT… well it’s out now so woopy!! I really wonder what the others have to say about that cause they just gave really vague surprised reactions. Well, Ritsu documented it. I love that little guy please don’t ever change you silly.
NUMBER ONE CORNELIUS HATER IDC. Unless I know your intentions I DONT CAREEEEE. YOU ARE AN OPP IT IS ON SIGHT WITH YOU. SAME WITH YOU NICOLAS!! “I didn’t know whether to tell you or not I’m sowwy 🥺” CHUPA MI PITO HOE 😡.
… you’re telling me I didn’t have to do that awful speech because DANTE AGREED?? IM DONE. IM WHOOPING EVERYONE IN THE ROOM AND AURING THE PLACE OUT. FIRST ONES OUT ARE HYDE FOR NOT TELLING ME, NICOLAS, AND CORNELIUS. ARGHHHHHHH. Also, dude, who is that Janitor guy like seriously.
ROMEO??? AND HYDE???? WHAT IS THIS ABOUT BUTTERCUP?? Wdym worked for him?? What is going on… SPECIAL MISSION??? SHO??? OH NAW. I CANT TRUST NOBODY ANYMORE 😭
Towa crying :(. What does the fruit shrinking have to do with it now?? I’m so confused.
ALRIGHT IF YOU MADE IT TO THE END WOW YOU HAVE DEDICATION. Yeah this is my personal yap session to this chapter and it’s so URGH. I’m so excited to see the next chapter and I hope we get to see more and more. Now with the Gala in place, we can finally start WORKING. Based on the timeline, we have about … 8 months left?? So hopefully, for MC’s sake, she gets cured. BYE BYE UNTIL NEXT EPISODE!!
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romanarose · 2 months ago
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The River
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Joel Miller x Black!fem!reader
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Summary: Joel and Sarah's mom! reader the days he's conceived, written to Bruce Springsteen's The River in honor of his birthday today!
Warnings: Virginity loss for both, piv sex, skinny dipping, not a happy end, if you want the spoiler look at notes at the end. Classmate calls reader a name but its never stated so you can fill in the blank however fitting you feel, but its implied its either a slur or a derogatory word towards women. Story starts with joel and reader in HS and 17, but 18 when the smu happens. If this makes you uncomfortable, thats fine. Dont read it.Some drinking but everyone is consenting, and at 18 in the 80's in the us you can drink Immersivity: reader is at least biracial as fitting with the show TLOU. Not super descriptive there bc I wanted it to remain pretty open but I mentioned hair care for curls and dark skin
Happy birthday Bruce!!!! I love you
Dividers by @thecutestgrotto
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I come from down in the valley
Where, mister, when you're young
They bring you up to do like your daddy done
  It started at 17, just kids. You were like something out of a dream to a teen. Well, a wet dream. You dressed so unlike everyone around him, showing off skin in a way scandalous to the bible belt you were living in. Joel was taught that impure thoughts and sex before marriage was sinful, shameful.
A year later, it didn’t feel shameful with you. 
When you moved here during yours and Joel’s senior  year, you and Joel met at a party and it was all over for him the second he saw you in that pretty black dress that dipped so low… Dark, thick curls spiraled around your head in a halo and beautiful dark skin. Joel was certain you weren’t looking his way even once. Joel wasn’t unpopular by any means, but if he were honest a lot of his circle came from either playing baseball or being Tommy’s brother . 
Tommy was a linebacker on the football team, something much cooler than baseball was. Joel didn’t think himself ugly, he thought he was decent to look at, but his nose got in the way, just planted large smack in the middle of his face. Tommy had similar features, but for some reason they meshed together better. Tommy was also just so much more extraverted, friendly as they came. And none of it was fake, Tommy was genuine and that's why people liked him. That’s why Tommy lost his virginity long before Joel had his first kiss.
When you walked over and struck up a conversation with him of all people, Joel’s eyes nearly popped out of his face.
“Hey.” You told him your name. “I start school next week with y’all”
“”M Joel,” He reached out shaking your hand, a move that made you grin ear to ear. “Nice t’meecha”
“You’re cute, Joel, wanna talk outside?”
An hour later, you and Joel hadn’t spoken to a single other soul. He watched as envious eyes lingered on them, pride swelling in his chest at having the prettiest girl at the party wearing his jacket as you sat on the porch. 
“HEY MILLER!” A teammate of Tommy’s shouts at Joel from below the porch. “Gonna finally score a homerun?”
When you looked at him confused, Joel explained the metaphor. “I play baseball.”
“YEAH AND HE’S NEVER SCORED WITH A GIRL!”
“THANKS DAN I THINK SHE GOT IT!!” Joel shouted to the jeering boy who’d drawn a bit of a crowd. When he turns back to you, you weren’t weirded about him being a virgin still, instead you were smiling.
“I’m a virgin too, don’t worry. Wanna really show ‘em how stupid they look?” You whisper.
Joel laughs, smiling something dopey. “Please…”
Swinging one leg over the porch railing, a move that spread your legs and rode your skirt up. You grab his shirt, yanking him towards you and kissing him right tyoure in the porch light, getting bitten by mosquitos. This creates a bunch of loud whooping from everyone except Dan, more people gathering to watch the show. Joel about passed out, ready to fall off the porch and die a happy man. He didn’t, holding onto your leg as you giggled into his mouth at the reactions of everyone around them.
After that, only death could separate Joel from you. 
Me and Mary we met in high school
When she was just seventeen
We drive out of this valley
Down to where the fields were green
“Hey Miller!” Dan called after him in the hall, but Joel wasn’t interested in talking to him.
That school year had been a wild one to be sure. You joined the cheer team, but admitted later it was so that you could see Joel more, an excuse to talk to him. Joel was absolutely baffled at the concept that you thought you needed a reason to talk to him after he’d kissed you, but sweet nonetheless. 
Dan had tried in vain to steal you out from under him, but to Joel’s surprise you showed no interest. After that, he got mean. Joel frequently found himself telling Dan to shut the fuck up, defending you even though the relationship still didn’t have a name. It was stolen smiles in class, study dates, choosing to spend your 18th birthday with him at the local diner instead of a party.  DIdn’t matter. He wasn’t going to let Dan talk the way he did about you. It’d never escalated to more than a few shoves in the locker room, resulting in being separated by Tommy and your teammate. Their coach said if Dan causes more problems to let him know.
And then, Dan crossed a line. The crowded hallway was loud, people pushing around to get the hell out of school and onto their next event but Joel heard him loud and clear. The hall got real quiet, everyone between Dan and you and Joel hearing with Dan called you, and it was over. 
“Joel…” You warn, feeling him squeeze your hand tighter. “Don-” but he was gone, letting go and lunging at Dan like he was tackling in a game.
The fight didn’t last long, Joel a little better off than Dan was by the time they were pulled apart, which is why the coach suspended Joel for 2 days instead of Dan. They told the coach, multiple students testifying, what Dan had called you but he never go any repercussions. That just makes Joel all the more happy he broke his nose.
You were his after that. Officially. Boyfriend and girlfriend and inseparable. Every game, you were there cheering him on and every night you worked he was there to walk you home. 
When the summer turned warm, Joel decided he wanted to share something special with you.
It was a secret spot, a place Joel grandpa used to take him and Tommy to fish before he passed. They pair had grown up swimming there when they could get their hands on a car in the summer, and it was somewhere that few people knew about. A quiet lake, the perfect place to fish and swim or just relax. Joel managed to borrow your brothers car, people trusting him as he was responsible, unlike Tommy. He even packed you a picknick, making it a nice date. He knew he was romantic as shit. He didn’t plan on what happened happening, but he knew it would be a special afternoon.
The week after graduation in Texas was already warm, the world bright and happy around him as college approached. You and him had plans to move to Austen together, he had gotten a few good grants for low income students and was going to attend the tech school, get into electrician work. He even knew a place where he could apprentice in the city, and hopefully by the time you graduate with your 4 year degree he would have his journeymans. You had gotten an excellent scholarship, and between that and the money saved from the last few years of both of you working, if you guys budgeted well you would graduate almost debt free. Then, find permanent jobs, get a house, get married, have kids… the entire world was in the palm of your hands.
You hadn’t taken the big step, even after 7 months of dating, you were still virgins. You wanted to… but where? On the bottom bunk of the bunk bed Joel and Tommy still shared in the tiny mobile home? Or at your place, where your mom made you keep the door open at all time? Joel certainly wasn’t going to deflower you in the back of a car, he wasn’t a fucking animal. Still, he liked to think what ended up happening was perfect.
You loved it.
We'd go down to the river
And into the river we'd dive
Oh, down to the river we'd ride
“Joel!!!” An excited squeal escaped your lips as he finished setting everything up. There were even a bundle of wildflowers on the blanket he sprawled out on the grass. 
“M’grandpa used to take me  n’ Tommy here ‘fore he died.” Joel explained, standing up and stepping back to admire his work. There was a tinge of longing, reminiscing on those old days, childhood that he was soon to leave behind for a life with you. There'll always be nostalgia, but he didn’t have to fear facing the future with you by his side. He’d do it all in your honor. Joel felt your hand on his back.
“He sounds great, baby.”
Joel smiled. “Yeah, he was.” But he turned to hug yo. The smell of your hair was always something he took his time to appreciate. Throughout these months, he’d learned a lot about taking care of your hair, and absolutely adored the smell of coconut oil. He'd gotten pretty damn good at braiding. Sometimes you’d even put the oil in his hair, and Joel loved the scalp massage too much he was practically purring. That’s how you learned he had a sensitive scalp. Very sensitive.
Got anything to drink?” You smiled, trying to distract him.
He paused for a bit, then finally smiled for the first time tonight. “Yeah, yeah I do.”
Joel pulled out the glasses, iced tea, rum, and sliced lemons; Long Island iced tea.
Joel insisted on holding the ice to your lip as You sipped through your straw and drank his own. Joel was more of a beer guy himself, the guys would never let it go if they caught him drinking this, but for your, he’d drink it. Plus, it actually tastes good. Beer does not.
Now, Joel was Joel again. He laughed along to your stories and shared quips about the guys at the shop as they sat on the blanket he laid out by the banks. He braided your hair back for you, tying it up nice and tight so the river water doesn’t ruin it.
“You ready to swim?” You asked.
Joel grinned “Absolutely. I brought some spare clothes, I figured you couldn’t exactly sneak out with swimwear.”
“Actually…” You stood up. “I was thinking we could just…” You took off your shirt. Joel quickly stood up. “Skinny dip?” 
Joel had felt your tits before. Plenty. You and him had explored things before… but never this. Seeing your breasts in that bra had his mind short circuiting. He was only a man. 
You turned away and began walking towards the river. The Texas sun was setting on your back as you slid your underwear off. Joel never really gotten a good look at your ass until now. Well now, he was taking it all in. 
“You gonna join me? Or just stare at my ass like a perv at a gas station?” He looked up at you and saw you glancing over your shoulder as you unhooked your bra. When you turned back and tossed your bra back to the shore, Joel scrambled out of his jeans and underwear comically fast, hopping out of his last pant leg. Joel grinned wildly as he giggled (did he just giggle?) and ran into the river as he pulled his shirt off.
By the time he reached you, you had dove into the water, swimming out. He caught up to you and pulled your wet frame in, finally taking yor in the kiss he had wanted to give all afternoon. He was careful, ever so careful, not to startle you or move too fast, but he hears you laugh. “Oh my god Joel, just kiss me.”
As the lady wished. He deepened the kiss as you ran fingers through his thick curls, massaging into his scalp. He could feel himself getting hard, so he pulled away. “Time to swim, sweetheart.” As he dove into the water, you got a quick peek at his ass before it re-entered the cool water. Oh man, you could not wait to get a hold of that latter tonight. You swam as the sun peaked, until your bodies were too tired to keep changing between kisses and splashes.
The evening was still warm, but could cool quick. Joel grabbed towels and another drink for the two of you on the blanket. While in the car, he opened his windows and turned up the radio. He helped dry off your hair and body before pulling a blanket over the two of you. The area was private, no one would be here except him. Snuggling into his chest, you signed contently. Joel was your safe place. Despite being naked under the blanket, You felt warm and secure. When “Sister Christian” faded out of the car radio, You listened to the DJ.
“This next song is a request, it goes out from Joel in Arlington. Joel wants you to know how much he’s enjoyed your time together and he hopes for many more nights like tonight. Well, isn’t that sweet. Here’s to you, this is You Make Loving Fun by Fleetwood Mac”
You turned to him with a broad smile. “Joel! That’s so sweet” You took him in for a kiss as the opening chords started playing, your dark, naked body pulling up against him.
Joel tried to keep his cool, but fighting his hard-on was getting a lot harder to control. “I wanted to play something by Stevie Nicks, but all the songs I knew that she sang sounded like break up songs.” Joel sucked on your neck.
You moaned out his name. “Oh god… mmm” You tried to keep the conversation going, but he felt so good on your skin. “True, but Silver Springs is a masterpiece…”
“You are a masterpiece…” He murmured between the soft kisses he placed along your stomach. your heart rate kicked up as he crept closer to your sex. 
“Joel…” You pleaded, begging him for more as he kissed the crease of your legs, so, so close to where you needed him to be. Something else entirely. Just when You thought he was finally going to take your in his mouth,  moved past your sex, his beautiful lips tantalizingly grazing over you’re folds to move towards your inner thighs. “Joel, please, stop teasing…”
“As the lady wants…” Finally, he dove into you.
Then I got Mary pregnant
And man, that was all she wrote
You tasted fantastic. He flattened his tongue as licked up, swirling around your clit, making your whimper. He loved the little sounds You made when he touched you, tasted you. Sliding two fingers inside, Joel worked your lower body with everything in him: his fingers deep inside your, his mouth licking and kissing everywhere in reach, his free hand massaging along your thigh.
In the freedom of the dark night, You felt free to be as loud as You wanted. “FUCK! Fuck Joel, just like that.”
“Fuck, you taste so good”
You gave a breathy laugh “Baby, I taste like river water”
“Like delicious river water” He muttered with an obvious smile;
You giggled “Ew”
Joel hummed “mmmm” the vibration sending another wave through you.
“Oh! Oh God, Joel!” You whimpered when You felt his teeth carefully draw along your sensitive inner thigh.
Joel continued working you, fingering you open carefully until you came on his tongue, tugging on the sweet curl and his oh so sensitive scalp.
You moved your hips up, sending a shock of electricity through him when he felt your thigh rub along his cock.
He kissed into your neck, fighting the strong urge to leave hickies. “If I told you I brought a condom, would you think I was presumptuous?”
“If I told you I brought a condom, would you think I’m easy?”
You could feel a shit eating, teasing grin being pressed into your neck. “I don’t believe in women being easy, I believe in men being lucky.”
With your soft hand, you guided his face back to yours and You gifted him with a kiss. “Do you think you’re lucky tonight?”
He couldn’t help the feral growl that escaped him as he nipped along your neck and chest. “Sweetheart, tonight, I think I’m favored by the gods.” He rolled over and pulled the condom out of his pant pocket and slid it over his length before lining himself up at your entrance and planting a soft kiss on your brow. He touched his forehead to yours. “You want this?” Joel spoke softly in your ear.
You smiled, eyes closed, and nodded, gently tracing the muscles on his back, toned from physical labour.
“More than anything, Joel. Do you?”
When you opened them, Joel was beaming down at you. “More than anything.”
 He felt your grip on his shoulder as he entered your, wet and hot in contrast to the cool air seeping into their little haven. He pulled the blanket over both of their heads to keep the heat between them, to keep the world outside. Right now, only they mattered, only you existed, nothing else could possibly be more important than making you feel beautiful and special and… loved.
You were ethereal. Nothing in the world felt better than you sweet pussy and there was nothing he loved more than you, his beautiful girl giving herself to him, just as he gave himself to you. 
In your little tent, you felt safe, appreciated and adored. Joel always had a way of taking away all your anxieties, his demeanor was always so light and relaxing but fiercely protective. You could feel him hitting deep inside you despite his movements being slow and steady, not wanting to hurt you. He was all kisses: your mouth your jaw, your breasts, your cheeks. As you stretched out your body and put your arms over your head, he ran his hands up your sides, over your breasts and shoulders, along your arms and finally pinning your hand above your. Joel held you to the ground and he picked up his pace, making your toes curl as your orgasm built back up again.
“Mmmm, Joel, baby you feel so good… so good honey”
Joel could feel your tightening around him, he knew you were close. He kissed deep into your mouth that opened for him. You aggressively kissed back, taking his lip between your teeth. “Please baby, I need to feel you.” You wiggled your wrists.
Joel complied, releasing your hands which You returned to his tan skin. When You came around him, he felt your fingernails digging into his shoulder blades, tipping him over the edge. His pace faltered as he rode out his orgasm, pressing tender kisses into your neck.
When they re-emerged from the cover of the blanket, night had completely fallen on the reservoir, the moon shone above the treeline illuminating You’s tan, wet body. “Keep on Lovin You” by REO Speedwagon was in full swing. They laid on the bank of the river, pulling your close just to feel each breath You takes.
There they laid, until Joel heard the rumble of thunder. “We should probably get going, don’t want to get rained on.” No answer. He looked down to see you sleeping against his chest. 5 more minutes won’t hurt… He thought to himself, and watched your sleep for 20 minutes, until you stirred to the sound of the thunder getting closer.
“Hm?” You grumbled into his chest, despite him not saying anything.
“I said we gotta go, it looks like rain.”
“Oh.” You rubbed your eyes and sat up. “Oh shit, I forgot we were naked.”
Joel stood up and gathered your clothes that You had practically stripped off for him, then got dressed himself.
It was that July you told him you were pregnant.
And for my nineteenth birthday
I got a union card and a wedding coat
We went down to the courthouse
And the judge put it all to rest
No wedding day smiles, no walk down the aisle
No flowers, no wedding dress
Everything changed after that, 
Not the love you had for each other, no, not that.
But everything else.
Your parents kicked you out when you told them, and Joel’s family let you move in, kind enough to let you take the couch, until a week later you and Joel were married at the courthouse. You spend your wedding night on the bottom of a bunk bed, Tommy staying with a friend for the night to offer you some privacy.
Life wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t the worst. No trade school, no apprenticeship, no journeymans, but Joel found a union job which was good. You continued working your job at the diner until Sarah was born, the best day of Joel’s life.
The next 5 years would be difficult, late bills and a sick baby, union going on strike, but no matter what, he had you. Always had you, his beautiful girl. Sometimes, Joel would ask Tommy to watch Sarah for a few hours, and he’d take you back to the river, back to where she was conceived. He couldn’t say he regretted it, but when this life brought him his baby. He couldn’t regret anything with you, honestly. Every struggle was worth it for his little family.
It was here you told him about the cancer.
Now all them things that seemed so important
Well mister they vanished right into the air
Now I just act like I don't remember
Mary acts like she don't care
Joel watched as a preteen Sarah swam around the river, Tommy and Joel parked with chairs close enough their feet were wet. Joel supposed she was technically a teen now… but it felt wrong to say his baby was a teenager of all things. 13 could be a preteen, just one more year. He had braided her hair back the same way he always did yours, the memory of which always tore at his chest. There were a few years there he didn’t take her, the last time Sarah had been was when she was 6.
 The chemo had taken its toll on you, but you wanted this last summer with your daughter. Joel had carried you in, your body to weak to stand for long but once you were in again, you were at ease. The water helped you move, taking pressure off your joints and Sarah, as little as she was played gently with you, knowing her mom was fragile. Joel loved how much you loved her, how much Sarah adored you, and it killed him. It killed him to know there wasn’t much longer left. 
Joel watched as you floated, taking in the sun on your skin as Sarah did the same. Two peas in a pod.
You died two days later.
But I remember us riding in my brother's car
Her body tan and wet, down at the reservoir
At night on them banks I'd lie awake
And pull her close just to feel each breath she'd take
Now those memories come back to haunt me
They haunt me like a curse
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true
Or is it something worse
Joel didn’t take her again until she was 10. He couldn’t stomach it, so Tommy did, wanting to keep the family place alive.
“You alright, brother?” Tommy asked, cool beer in his hand.
Joel sighed. “Yeah, yeah. Just….” He shook his head, watching as Sarah went under to do a handstand. “She looks so much like her mom, doesn’t she?”
When Sarah popped up again, Joel and Tommy cheered for her in encouragement.
“Yeah, that she does.”
School was starting soon, and Joel would have less time with her, so he was savoring these little moments, just as their family. Just the three of them. Joel still felt you here, present with him in these ways, even after all these years. 
2003 marked 7 years since your death, and every day Sarah grew to look more like you.
Now those memories come back to haunt me
They haunt me like a curse
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true
Or is it something worse
That sends me down to the river
Though I know the river is dry
That sends me down to the river tonight
Down to the river
My baby and I
Oh, down to the river we ride
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SPOILER!!! Reader dies.
Thak you soooo muc for reading, i know my last fic and this one have been downers, and i gonna be honest, my final joel piece before leaving the fandom wil be bittersweet too ;-;
Thank you for all the love you've given me!!!
Taggint htose whove expressed interest. I think. if i mistagged you im sorry!!! its late for me
@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @msjarvis @grogusmum @hiroikegawa @jennaispunk @fandxmslxt69 @sweetlummie
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stuffeddeer · 3 months ago
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i just had a thought. imagine something like when you and normal dazai were best friends (maybe apart of the buraiha trio too, or squad in that case) but what i mean is close-close kinda best friends. but if thats too basic i think we can add mutual pining with no confession in it. and then take that scenario into the beast au, where you two are still close, but work in very different fields and still have that mutual pining, and can never be together no matter how close you two become - whether it be forbidden because of work fields or just.. the whole phase 5 ordeal. or something else! do you think he'd try to get away or get closer? please i need more thoughts on this scenario i love angsty things
+ can i be 🦴 anon? tysm! :)
My thoughts on smitten beast!Dazai | Bungo Stray Dogs | Dazai x reader
wehehehehe i loveee beast!zai gm 🦴anon!!!! i would like to apologize in advance bc my thoughts are jumbled and incoherent on my best days LMAO
okay here’s what i’m thinking. either you’re a part of his plan or you aren’t - either he has something he wants to change for you like he’s doing with oda, or you’re merely another piece of the puzzle. depending on which you fall under, how he’ll act will be different. being a part of his scheme, falling under the subject of someone whose life he wants to change, will lead to him alienating himself from you like how he did to oda - knowing that he has to isolate himself away from you so you can live a longer or better life. dazai understood the only way oda would live in the light and write his novel was if he pushed him to and killed himself, so he’d do the same for you, dying happily knowing it’s better for you.
but…. if you aren’t part of his plan, i don't think he'd mind still finding you and courting you :) had it merely been mutual pining in other lives, maybe he wants to see what it'd be like to actually date you! he already knows everything you like, so from the very second you two meet, he's showing up with your favorite flowers ("they just reminded me of you") and chocolates or whatever sweets you adore ("i bought too much and couldn't finish"). he'd take you on cute little dates he doesn't label dates until you get frustrated and ask him if he's just leading you on, wondering why he never holds your hand or heaven forbid kisses you! and dazai will just laugh and confess, telling you he wanted to take it slow or some other bogus excuse you don't have the time to pry into as he kisses you 🙂‍↕️
dazai will 100% enjoy every moment he can with you!!!! he knows it's rapidly approaching his end so he makes sure you're allll set up (he sets aside a disgusting amount of money in some share for you to take from at your leisure post mortem). he understands he's a busy guy, but always makes sure to shower you in love when you're around, knowing he won't be able to much longer :/
of course, he could also try pushing you away as he nears his end, but i still think he'd try and hold you close before that. say toward the end he starts more fights and distances himself. you're confused wondering why he has started to pull back, and he just tells you work is rough. i think dazai would try to subtly let you know what's coming, mentioning his line of work breeds resentment and leads to many a death, like how the previous boss died (....kind of) and the one before. he'd want you prepared, and preferably happy, but understands that he selfishly didn't let you to pass by his final phase without some sort of grieving. dazai would have regrets in that sense, but understand there's not much he can do about it now except try and prepare you for the inevitable.
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familyagrestefanblog · 6 months ago
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You know what's so sad about how badly Ladynoir got nuked that it actually turns around to be funny again?
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Not only did Marinette telling Chat Noir that she'll never abandon him loose all meaning in season 5 because she left after being told "no" by him once (and she already wanted to leave before Plagg initiated his plan:
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I know, its almost like the show is going out of its way to nuke Ladynoir) and proceeded to not think about making sure it's at least Scarabella again who Chat Noir will be meeting after last episode to try and prevent the same "new Ladybug" disaster she said she was sorry for from happening again. And who has to tell him the bad news that this time Ladybug left for good and that it was him saying "no" that caused it.
So exactly all the problems with Hack-San again just for real and WORSE, and even the fear he was talking about at the end - that one day it wouldn't be her and he'll never see her again.
It is incredibly difficult for me to be upset with Adrien for leaving bc of all this. Even if I want to. Marinette's side is just so much worse again
But, no. That's not it!
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Even the one and only tini-tiny thing she actually DID manage to remember him for while she threw the darkest red-alert situation at him in "Hack-San", it still ended up ringing pretty much hollow by the end of season 5.
I swear, not a single Ladynoir excuse for Marinette in "Hack-San" is in any way holding up. It's insane.
Cause not ONCE in all of season 4 and 5 does Marinette as Ladybug laugh at anything Chat Noir says. She straight up acknowledged it towards Alya that it makes him happy and she seriously never once does.
That is... genuinely sad. Not sad as in pathetic, just deeply saddening.
And even the few times when civilian Marinette laughs with Chat Noir, I can't remember it ever being at his jokes. It happens when other civilians are bothered by them in the cinema in "Glaciator 2" and in "Elation" when she's having fun at the date in general and later when Adrien tries to be silly while explaining something and then Marinette laughs at Chat being frustrated at himself for not being able to put what he wants to say into words.
But all of these cases are not her laughing at his jokes the way she literally said she knows makes him happy. So she's still not doing it.
Wait, no. When Marichat get the ice cream in "Elation". At least thats a moment where Marinette actively laughs at a joke Chat made. Although, she revealed in "Hack-San" that she would do so, too, even if she didn't think it's funny at all and that unfortunately does leave a very sour taste in my mouth:
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Person B being the only one who genuinely laughs at person A's jokes is such a popular trope for a reason and it stings knowing that even that doesn't truly apply here.
The trope was ironically recycled into Adrien thinking Marinette's behavior is funny which he then in season 5 got shamed for by the narrative when he then found out that he was laughing at her trauma responses and he beats himself up for it (what a weird writing decision, honestly)
But Marinette as Ladybug for some reason just continued to be written to not laugh to make Chat Noir happy (even when she was oh so in love with him in the beginning of season 5) and that puts the genuineness of the rare times she does into question bc Marinette is apparently just willing to fake it every blue moon.
But I guess, credit where credit is due. She did indeed do the thing she said she knows makes Chat Noir happy ONE TIME in 52 episodes. Only as civilian, though. And mind you, she left the next episode and previously said that her laughing doesn't mean she actually thinks he's funny.
But one questionable time is better than non, right ?
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lynn-tged-posting · 2 months ago
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tged webtoon ep 159 spoilers and thoughts below the cut yep just the usual
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JAVIERS FACE LMFAO "wow. these people are so weird. thank god im the only normal person here" jesus christ this entire estate is insane /aff
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also i think im required to inform that i sent this panel to some of my irls because they're also civil engineers, and i asked if they recognized any of this and they said "oh god yeah"
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so we can pleasantly confirm that the adaptor/artist are still referencing real civil engineering stuff!
while we're still here at the start of the ep/my thoughts i do wanna say, the whole "ugly" gag is getting. a little too well worn
it is really well drawn! the artist is very skilled at drawing exaggerated expressions and its always fun to see, but i think this is like the third or fourth time now that this has been used, and i think my brain is just tired of the repeated schtick. i dont hate it, but the funny has moved on for me
i really hope that in this next arc we see a return of a devilish or conniving lloyd, rather than silly "ugly" expressions; its funny when he looks stupid but id like a better balance, which means i want more instances of him looking cool and smart as hell!!!
of course these words will. probably fall on deaf ears its not like i can message the artist/adaptor directly lmfao but yknow its the thought that counts i guess. actually i might be using that phrase wrong not sure
ANYWAY ANYWAY verkis looks so pretty here,, i like that he confirmed lloyds intentions w the jewel of truth . truly a man who wants to do Nothing thats so real of him me too bud
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AND THENNN my personal favorite peak of the episode THE SWORDMASTER SYNDROME KICKING IN AAAAAHHH AAAAHHHH
IT MAKES SENSE THAT LLOYD PUSHING HIS MANACIRCLES TO THE LIMIT WOULD BE THE LAST PUSH HE NEEDS TO BECOME A HIGH LEVEL SWORD EXPERT and now hes suffering the consequence of not dealing with this earlier </3 get overstim'd idiot shouldve taken a break before this happened bozo!!! /j
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i really really REALLY love how the text and the effects were drawn in these panels and the following ones (thats three reallys!!!)!! the visual echo and then the sudden sharp jaggedness, it really shows how much OUCH and impact it has and i really really love it YEAHHHH PUT LLOYD THROUGH THE WRINGER YEAHHH YEAHHH
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AND THEN JAVIER KEEPS LOOKING SO FUCKING HAPPY THROUGHOUT THIS EPISODE PLEASSEEJ LKAJDFLKSJDFLKJSDFLK JHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH he's having a grand ol time lmfao now his noble can experience what he had to go through!!!
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ALSO ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THE VERY FIRST THING THAT LLOYD LOOKS AT WITH HIS NEW HEIGHTENED VISION IS JAVIERS FACE AND HOW PERFECT IT IS HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO you could have looked at anything else and yet the first thing you narrow in on is javiers face IM SHAKING YOU LLOYD
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no seriously wow he's so pretty ALSO THE FUCKING. HAND POSE IM CRYING
also its really really fluffy nice that javier helped lloyd with getting used to his senses! though they couldnt really do anything abt his insomnia
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i had heard that some really cute moments got cut from the novel in this little timeskip here which is like awww i wish we got to see it like, that short bit with the "ugly" gag could have been replaced with the moments from the novel and itd still fit the episode length! at least i think
(like i was told that lloyd gets called "good boy" by javier. like. WHAT. WHAT. GOOD BOY??? GOOD BOY??? AND THAT GOT CUT?????? GOOD BOY!?!?!?!? i told my irls abt this and we collectively had a stroke i wish it made it in bc javiers face when saying that and lloyds reaction wouldve been PRICELESSSS)
oh but also back to talking about javier helping lloyd out, i think its really really cute,,, i know its not explicitly said or shown but i want to think that javier is able to repay the lullaby in a sense by doing this. i really like that javier not only depends on lloyd, but lloyd depends on javier too, and they can rely on each other. thinking about that makes my heart warm and my feet kick and then i start giggling like a maniac
anyway few month timeskip and lloyd u look tired as hell im so sorry buddy
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though honestly i really like how he looks in this panel for some reason HAHAHAHA idk him just looking grumpy and tired is fun bc u dont really see it that often u usually see him being silly or evil more so this is a nice panel to have heehee
disgruntled tired sleep deprived engineer now aint that the realest STEM experience ever,,, shaking ur hand lloyd i get u i understand
AND THEN THE END OF THE EP HI RAPHAEL the angel arc!! i guess!! idk the names of these arcs
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i wonder how he'll try to enforce this,,, and i wonder how lloyd will get out of it,,, like did tkobai ever go over the angels and what they do? does lloyd know about them?
i did see pics of what he looks like from the novel and we were SO robbed of very pretty long wavy hair, it seems the artist just chopped it all off,,, uueueueueuee
i posted abt this on twitter already but my singular cope is that we actually just havent seen the rest of his hair and its just in a ponytail and its like really really thin and we'll see the rest of his hair soon trust <- copium pumping
and a bonus little illustration, happy chuseok!!!
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thats all from me!!!!!!! IM REALLY EXCITED TO SEE WHERE THIS ANGEL ARC GOES and whether or not lupellan and wrot,,,, whatever his name was are going to interfere also,,, triple clash!!! also if he'll ever overcome his insomnia,,,
see yall next week :3
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quodekash · 6 months ago
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I didnt get enough sleep last night but its not my fault qtoey fuckin kissed
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hes literally the most babygirl in this entire show
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HIM FRANTICALLY CLEANING UP I LOVE HIM SM
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I love this more than I can ever possibly describe
it's so silly
so goofy
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HES SO GOOFY
they should kiss again I think
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babes your voice just got three octaves higher, do better at lying next time
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who the FUCK is this guy and why is he being introduced in episode 7 of 16 (apparently 16??? it's wild that this show is supposed to be 16 episodes long (according to mdl?) cos we're not even halfway through the show and 2 out of 4 of the main couples have officially kissed, and 1 is officially together. which is insane when you think about how msp is 12 episodes long and tinngun didnt properly kiss til thE END OF THE LAST FUCKING EPISODE)
(no im never getting over this, they COULD have counted 67 FUCKING TIMES throughout the show and they fucking DIDNT)
anyway this guy is probably gonna be a main part of the drama that's gonna go down in order to keep this show long enough 😭
why cant we just keep the light and fluffy show as it is and keep spreading joy and dopamine straight to my bones
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two adorable little munchkins standing next to each other
theyre my sons
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THAT LITTLE GIGGLE I CANT
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whAT rEAlLY???
he asked if he could hit on you, then asked if he could KISS you, AND THEN YALL FUCKIN MADE OUT IN A HAUNTED HOUSE
AND THEN WHEN YOU SAW HIM TODAY, HE MADE SILLY KISSY LIPS AT YOU
so I suggest you all give up on this "plan", and change to this real plan: march up to him, ask him out, plant a kiss on his cheek, take your fuckin artist easels and canvases to a fuckin beach at sunset, paint and make out
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oml pun's an astrology girlie
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HOLY FUCK ITS HAPPENING
what the fuck no why does it look like its gonna get angsty, I cant do this :(
dont make me watch toey sob, I dont want that, I want them to make out again :((
im so confused dude why is he so angry
I genuinely dont get it
I mean im watching at 2x speed so I can get through this quickly so I might've missed some dialogue somewhere or smth, but still
why's he angry
idk why he's angry but I do know one thing: satang is too fucking good at portraying anguish
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im too tired to process words so im not entirely sure what he means but I think it sounds poetic so we're gonna go with that
(ahem) THATS SO BEAUTIFUL WTF
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WHAT THE FUCK
brb just gonna rip my fucking SOUL out
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"its like im sitting in a vast grassy field with a gentle breeze under a bright sky" OKAY WTF ARE THE GMM WRITERS READING MY TUMBLR POSTS OR SMTH
THATS LITERALLY HOW I DESCRIBED THE WAY WIN PROBABLY FEELS ABOUT SOUND
its why his heart doesnt beat fast for sound, he just doesnt have that kind of crush, its more of a relaxing crush, like a gentle breeze
ill fucking find the post if I can
I literally wrote an extended metaphor poem combined with a fic about it
what the fuck dude
if they're watching my posts then why havent they given us my satang and perth siblings agenda yet
and where is the markford series
gmm I know you're looking at this, answer my fucking questions guys
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I LOVE THEIR FRIEND GROUP SO FUCKING MUCH DUDE
they all just make me so happy 😭😭😭
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okay but he didnt know you were milk frappe boy when hE FUCKING MADE OUT WITH YOU IN A HAUNTED HOUSE
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theyre holdin hansssss
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is what I think and want to happen about to happen
that wasnt grammar but its fine
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THEYF CYKING END IT THERE??
BUT HES ALL PUCKERED UP
HES READY
ALSO THEYRE IN A SCHOOL HALLWAY AND IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY
WTF
I HAVE TO WAIT A FUCKING WEEK TO FEEL JOY????
COME ON MAN
oh fuck yes next week theyre goi g to a volunteer camp
volunteer camp episodes are always comfort episodes so thjis is gonna be GOOD
PUN DID IT BC HE WANTS QTOEY TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER??? BRO HE'STHE WINGMAN OF ALL TIME
well anyway I just wanna see qtoey kiss again :(
ill rewatch that one scene in the meantime
buhbye for now my friends, see yous next week
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gwaaaaar · 9 months ago
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breaking my silence...
whoever told me the second half of death note was trash... YOURE WRONG YOURE WRONG YOURE WRONGGGGGG 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 MELLO AND NEAR ARE WORTHY SUCCESSORS TO L YOURE JUST A STAN!!!!
near... sweet jesus baby they didnt deserve you !!! I was so pleasantly surprised to see how distinct he was despite people calling him "white haired L". LIKE hes a lot more cautious than L but isn't above being a sarcastic little shit and actively causing problems... i read a fan translation and he uses a lot of cuss words to refer to certain people he dislikes. I dont know if thats in the official translation as well but i do like the visual of this 7 yo saying "asshole" and "dickhead". I know hes 17-18 and this is average teenage behavior but gah hes so cute and moe and make little "vrooooom" noises when playing with his toys... 🥺 cant help but stan. Hes in his zone unbothered...
AND THE FACT HE CHALLENGES LIGHT IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE SO BLATANTLY... no mind games no time for light to make his next move just fuck it we ball. Also very fond of the scene where he drops hundred dollar bills off the SPK building. He's unpredictable just like Mello is but in a different way and its fascinating i love this guy. Also enjoy the fact that his flavor of justice is that he doesnt really have one hes just doing his job. The verbal beatdown he does at the end about how lights just a crazy serial killer... GET HIS ASS NEAR !!! Hes not pretentious and its just... its just good you know? L wasn't very pretentious but he does call himself justice sometimes and stuff along the like(?) Near drops all pretense... cant help but stan
Also really fond that he actually likes mello its just mello doesnt like him... I know canon never explicitly states their relationship with each other, like if its a brotherly relationship or not (altho isnt there some cain and abel parallels??? Not sure). But i really do see a siblinglike relationship between the two. Canon doesnt really put any angst on their relationship bc near doesnt care lolol, but the two do remind me of certain siblings that have a strained relationship because of the pressure put on one of them (or on both. Again fuck wammys house all my homies hate wammys AND WATARI!!! ME WHEN I GET YOU!!!) I really would love to see the two interact... and maybe just be happy by each other/pl. Because god it really terrible to see how much mello hates near and its not even nears fault :,). AND FUCK THE CHOCOLATE BAR HE EATS AT THE END TO HONOR MELLO???? STOPPPP IM GONNA CRY... near the man that you are... they dont deserve you baby...
And smello... mello mello mello... I've heard more positive things about him compared to near bc hes more "interesting" and i can see why people take that angle BUT. God they still undersell him so much??? I feel like hes one of the few characters to have a goal besides catching Kira (or not getting caught) because of his inferiority complex. I do not mean to undersell any of the other characters when i say this because theyre all very complex! They all have their driving goals and the like. Its just that i argue that Mello's is more persistent and that it is not centered around the conflict but rather himself. Even if he caught Kira perhaps he would still never be happy with himself because Near is always "going to be better" because of the shit he went through in wammys. Theres a whole discussion to be had abt the ethics of wammys house... but ill save that for another post wwww.
Mello is also someone that isnt pretentious about his idea of justice bc hes a fucking criminal. (BTW i love the two opposing sides of the successors... one that tries falling within the law but still doesnt give a shit and the other that doesnt give any shits at all and eventually helps the law.) And its so... I LOVE YOU RUTHLESS CHARACTERS I LOVE YOU CHARACTERS THAT STOP AT NOTHING TO GET WHAT THEY WANT.
And the thing is ... Mello does have his own sense of justice because its not as if he sacrifices innocent bystanders to get what he wants he just does what is necessary. LIKE ofc its fucked up that he kidnapped sayu (and traumatized her...), takada (and the stripping... but at least she got a blanket:,) honestly tho id blame that on the misogyny of the authors) and the director of the police im not about to be a mello apologist (yes i am/j). But a. He probably knew no one was going to get hurt in the first place because hes just that damn confident. b. His remorse for matt and soichiros deaths show that he doesnt intend on sacrificing anyone and when things go astray it saddens him a little. And c. THE FACT HE PROBABLY KNEW HE WAS GONNA DIE AND STILL SACRIFICED HIMSELF TO HELP NEAR... near would "win" but mello prioritized putting kira behind bars and while i cant guess his motive, from my end it does seem like in extension he prioritized doing the right thing, which would be to sacrifice his life and pride to help near get the final piece to catch mikami... wow what a man im so deathly ill
After typing all this, i must say... is L really as complex as years of DN fans have said?? I think im about to get crucified for this opinion, but legitimately is he??? I think he is complex most certainly just... maybe not as much as others have said... i might just be missing details about his past + lore from external media so maybe thats why i have this opinion. But i feel like the successors *are* toe to toe with him despite their split screen time... idk tho :3 this is just my thoughts meow
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pumpkinsy0 · 5 months ago
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Adding onto your curly and pony holiday hcs, I personally hc that pony would have a really hard time around the holidays without his parents so do you possibly have any hcs for how curly might help pony feel better about celebrating and helping him get through the holidays? Fun idea I had about this could also be darry and soda kinda chilling out about curly being around during the holidays because they see how much he's helping pony
ponyboy w seasonal depression??? awe yea i can work w this,,,
domestic papercut will be here as well they need to take a break sometimes and just chill
•pony tends to kinda distance himself without rlly knowing, its not that he doesnt want to hang out its just he feels bad when he does, bc he feels like something is missing
•and thats when curlys jolly ass steps in, hes like santa clause for pony but if santa was a broke black teenage kid w way too much time on his hands
•curlys favorite holiday is actually christmas i can feel it, right up there w halloween, so to have ponyboy sad on this fine holiday??? something MUST be done
•curly showed pony his ugly ass fucking christmas sweater he was wearing to make pony happy
•he did sneak through a window, BUT he did brink over some akasan (this cornmeal drink in haiti u can drink it warm it taste great i promise) AND it was somehow still warm, he knows how pony like warm drinks brah
•he also brought over pain mais (its like cornbread but made w banana, sugar, vanilla, milk, yada yada), pony liked it this one time and tim made some earlier so he brought some over
•they had a lil snack sesh, which pony needed SO bad bc he wouldnt eat a good chunk of the food tim was making before
•he actually also bought pony his own ugly christmas sweater but pony was NOT wearing that bs (he’s def wearing it later)
•after that happened, curly wanted to go out and just fuck around in the snow but pony wouldnt budge so curly went outside and was playing around in the snow (by playing around i mean throwing snow at literally any innocent passerby and at ponys window) to make pony laugh, also threw some at ponys window
•pony DID come outside, WHAT a happy day, and he jsut, laid in the snow, making snow angels
•curly just plopped down into the snow w him and curly just let pony talk about whatever he wanted, he looked like he needed it
• pony felt bad for even telling curly that he just felt down but curly said “shared happiness is double the happiness, shared sadness is half the sadness, or whatever that one nigga from ur book said idfk” curly ezekiel shepard everyone, our king
•while they were talking, darry and soda came home and saw them on the lawn and for the first time, they didnt say anything and just let them be bc pony was smiling for the first time in a while and thats all they wanted so papercut lives to see another day,,,for now,,,
•and yknow what???pony DID feel less upset today!! however he did feel like every singular one of his limbs were about to fall off bc they were so numb so they had to go inside
•they walked in, were surprised to see darry and sodabc they dudnt even know they came home and maybe it was that holiday spirit consuming them, but they made hot cocoa for everyone!! including curly!! what a happy day
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