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( #tokyodebunkerfanart )
" Where were you, Dandelion? Iâve been waiting here all this time. Come give me a sorry cuddle "
-Towa
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I suddenly wanted to draw our cutie Towa đ„čâ€ïž he's just so precious I can't stop myself đâš
This time I'm trying to practice drawing side profiles! So this end up kinda as a sketch đ Ugh, honestly it's my mortal enemy đ€ I gotta draw side view more ! Hopefully I improve!
I was supposed to draw Romi but hands won't just let me đ«Ł I kinda don't wanna butcher him so I tried to doodle someone else and kinda got it favor Towa đ guess I'll make it up to Romi soon aaa
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Towa Otonashi is a character from TOKYO DEBUNKERS that belongs to ZigZaGame Inc
( PROHIBITED ANY FORM OF USAGE , FOR PERSONAL/ OWNER USE ONLY )
#tokyodebunkers
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Artist: Tsubawo / ă€ă°ă [ Twitter ] Source: This tweet
â» Permission to translate and repost was given by the artist. Editing, removing credit, and reposting to other sites without the artistâs consent are not allowed. Please support the artist by retweeting/favoriting the original source!
â» Feel free to correct me if you notice any errors in the translations!
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Artist: Tsubawo / ă€ă°ă [ Twitter ] Source: This tweet
â» Permission to translate and repost was given by the artist. Editing, removing credit, and reposting to other sites without the artistâs consent are not allowed. Please support the artist by retweeting/favoriting the original source!
â» Feel free to correct me if you notice any errors in the translations!
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Pairing: Tokyo Debunker Ghouls x Reader
Word count: 12K
Content: angst, pining, loss
Summary:
Your potential death due to your curse was no secret, yet there was still a promise of time â time for you (and those whoâre willing to help you) to find a cure, a solution to your plight.Â
No one expected your death to come so suddenly.
(Or, a look into how the Darkwick Academy ghouls may react to your passing)
Youâre no stranger to tragedy, but your death still comes as a surprise to you. Perhaps you shouldâve expected it, what with your luck continuing its downward spiral to misfortune. Maybe you shouldâve expected someone who despised you to take matters into their own hands, deciding to rid this world of your existence before you became a disastrous anomaly â before you even had a chance to fight your fate.
Regret upon regret builds a castle inside your bleeding body. Apologies, confessions â all of them slowly die in your throat.
You shouldâve expected it all.
But you didnât.
So now you lay, your blood a perfect canvas to frame your loss of life.
Your sageâs ring glows dimly on your finger.
.
.
.
âThe Honor Student has passed away,â the Masterpiece Newscasters proclaim, their monotone voice ringing clearly throughout Darkwick Academy. âThe culprit is yet to be found. All residents are forbidden to leave the premises until the criminal is found.â
As the Masterpiece Newscasters continue to prattle on about the false information of the Honor Studentâs â your â passing, Yuri can feel a headache erupt from behind his eyelids. Heâs already slept less than the recommended amount today, he doesnât need this added stress! Thereâs no way youâre gone, itâs just not possible. You so bravely faced that immortal anomaly after all, so how could you be dead?
Yuri Isami is only heading to your place of residence to put these bizarre rumors to a rest.
Even when he sees your crumpled body on the floor, Yuri doesnât believe it â you must have chosen to sleep oddly!
Even when he feels the coldness of your skin, he doesnât believe it â you just need a blanket!
Even when he doesnât hear your heartbeat, he doesnât believe it â you must be acting!
No, no, he has to be realistic. Youâre definitely sick. He has to help you. He has to save you! He can save you! Heâs the greatest doctor, after all! He can think of so many ways to save you. He can, if you just enhance his stigma, so why donât you do it? Yuri clutches your hand in his, hands trembling.
âWhy wonât you enhance my stigma, worm?â he mumbles. âYou can do at least this much, canât you? You have the opportunity to help the great Yuri Isami! Itâs an honor!â
âYes, itâs an honor to help you,â you had said, laughing. Yuri could be quite particular about laughs, but he didnât mind yours because there wasnât anything patronizing about it. âYouâre amazing, Yuri.â
âHmph, well, itâs good that you know your place,â he had responded haughtily. He wishes he couldâve told you how grateful he was that you believed in him. That you were interested in him and his research. That you cared for him.
Yuriâs grip on your hand gets firmer, the coldness of your skin seeping into his. He looks at your eyes, thinking of the way your eyes would light up when he would showcase his scientific discoveries.
He looks at your lips, remembering how youâd smile so grandly at him whenever you two would talk. He remembers how youâd learn what song he was humming just to hum with him.
He looks at your hand, recalling the warmth and strength he felt when he first held it. The way your hand shook due to your own fear remains engraved in his brain â the way that you supported him despite looking like youâd fall. Youâve been able to stand so long, havenât you? You canât be gone now.
âJiro!â he calls, voice cracking. This surgery needs to be a success. He canât â he wonât â hand you over to another researcher. âBring the Honor Student to Mortkranken! They need treatment immediately!â
At Yuriâs call, Jiro immediately reaches for you, cradling you in his arms as he lifts you up. Heâs never really been one to be gentle, especially in regards to corpses. As long as the corpse is intact, is there any reason to be âgentleâ? Jiro doesnât really think so. But, even so, Jiro canât bring himself to manhandle you, tossing you around like he would anyone else.
As soon as he saw you on the floor, he wanted to gather you in his arms and carry you back to bed. He wanted to open up his suitcase and conduct your weekly health checkup. He wanted to ensure that you werenât dead.
Unfortunately, Jiro is cursed with objectivity and he knows â knows â that thereâs no way youâre still alive. He also knows that thereâs no way to bring you back. Maybe if they had found you faster. Maybe if you were a ghoul. Maybe, maybe, maybeâŠ
But itâs too late now, isnât it?
He thinks about how you reacted whenever you saw blood and gore. He thinks about how much you fret over him and his injuries, even though he reassures you constantly. He thinks about the warmth of your palms.
He thinks about the ridiculous care you put into everyone.
âWhatâs this packet? I canât eat solids,â Jiro had stated bluntly when you passed him a box. It was pink and cutesy, decorated with ribbons.
âItâs not a solid,â you said, grinning cheekily. âLook inside!â
Jiro looked at you blankly, but still did as you instructed. Yuri was strange, but you could be quite strange, too. â...Oh.â
âItâs chocolate milk! It should hopefully be easier to eat,â you beam at him. âHappy Valentine's Day, Jiro!â
Jiro cradles you closer to his chest, like youâre made of glass. Youâre so cold, your skin feeling like his. He never thought that someone who was as warm-hearted as you could ever feel so desolate. â...I told you itâd be a problem for me if you died,â he murmured, softly, as he quietly trailed behind Yuri to head to Mortkraken.
When Rui hears the news of your passing, heâs pretty sure the world just stopped moving around him. He has to hear the news several more times to really come to terms with it. Itâs unfair, he thinks, itâs so unfair.
You were fighting so hard. You were working so hard.
How could that come crashing down so suddenly?
Itâs not fair. You of all people shouldâve been able to live a long life. You of all people shouldâve been able to be happy.Â
He tried so hard to stay away from you, to prevent him from accidentally killing you with his curse. You tried so hard to bring him comfort, despite the looming danger of his power. Heâs flirted with plenty of people, but youâre the only person heâs ever thought heâd actually love to spend forever with. He cursed himself for those thoughts, knowing that longing for something that canât be will only hurt him more. But there isnât an easy end to longing.
âSometimes, I wish I couldâve met you as a regular guy,â Rui had confided in you, one day, as the two of you sat in his bar. He swirled his wine, his cheeks slightly ruddy from the alcohol. âI guess you wouldnât have given me the time of day if we had, though.â His laugh left his lips, hollowly bouncing around his glass as he took another sip.
âYouâre drunk, Rui,â you had said, though your tone didnât hold any malice. â...But sometimes, I wish I couldâve met you before our curses, too.â
This is why he couldnât get over you, no matter how much he tried. This is why he couldnât distance himself from you, no matter how much he tried. You drew him in closer and closer like a trap, and he was more than okay with being ensnared, even if he was scared of being hurt.
âChuu!â
Rui blinked, surprised, as a cute teddy bear smooches him on the cheek.
âSorry, you seemed distracted,â you hummed, making Rui laugh.
âAh, yeahâ yeah! Sorry about that,â he responded, âI def wasnât trying to be.â
âI know,â you replied. âBut you got to pay attention now, okay? I want you to meet someone!â You waved the teddy bearâs paw. âThis is Honor Student Teddy!â Through your puppeteering, Honor Student Teddy offered Rui a hand, which Rui took with an amused look.
âYouâre so cute.â
âBeep! Incorrect! The one thatâs cute is Honor Student Teddy!â you said, looking away bashfully. Cute. â...So, I was thinking. Since we canât touch, maybe we could use Honor Student Teddy as my replacement?â You grabbed Honor Student Teddyâs other hand, the one not in Ruiâs grasp. âSee? Doesnât it kind of seem like weâre holding hands?â
Honor Student Teddy remains in Ruiâs room, pampered and loved as it should be. As you shouldâve been. A dry laugh escapes Rui.Â
â...Maybe this time, we can really hold hands.â
Blearily, Lyca opens his eyes, the sound of his phone buzzing waking him up. He sees that the message is from the blonde gigolo, which initially makes him annoyed. But Lyca has good instincts â his gut feeling is telling him to pay attention. So, instead of ignoring Rui, Lyca sleepily reads Ruiâs texts.
His sleep soon evaporates from his being.
âItâs a lie!â he yells, jumping out of his bed and running to his bedroomâs door. Thereâs no way youâre gone. Thereâs no way heâll never be able to smell your sweet scent ever again. Thereâs no way you wonât lay down with him and gently thread your fingers through his hair. Thereâs no way you wonât be able to draw together again. Thereâs just no way. Thereâs no way!
But even if Lyca wants to burst out of his bedroom, following your scent to find you, he canât open the door. He canât open the door to confirm if youâre really gone. He doesnât want to go downstairs to see that youâre not waiting for him. He doesnât want to go to the balcony where youâll no longer be able to eat with him.
Lyca doesnât want to lose you. Opening the door to the bedroom feels like heâll lose you. Carefully, he goes back to his bed, where the blanket from Neros and the blanket from you lay side by side.
âLyca!â you beammed, making Lyca tilt his head. You had a sweeter scent than usual today. Something that indicated that you were quite happy.
âWhatâre you so egg-cited about?â
âHeh.â You gave him a big grin. It was something heâd come to like seeing, especially since so many on campus gave him a grimace. âTa-dah!â With a flourish, you presented Lyca with a soft blanket. âI got you a gift!â
Lyca frowned, looking at the blanket in confusion. âI already got one.â
âYeah, I know,â you responded, not at all discouraged by the bite in Lycaâs tone. âItâs an extra one! I thought itâd be nice if you could have some more blankets. You can be twice as warm and cozy now!â There was a hint of hesitation as you say your next words, âI can take it back, though. Sorry, I guess I got ahead of myself.â
â...Sâokay.â Lyca took the blanket from you, feeling cozier as soon as he touched the soft fabric. It smelt like you. He liked how you smelled â in some ways, it reminded him of home.
Lyca looks at the blanket on his bed, the one that you got him. He grabs it, softly, in his palms. He remembers your encouragement when he had told you that heâd work hard so that he could live with humans. You said he could do it and when you said it, he really did feel like he could. So, you canât be gone yet. He needs you.
With a deep inhale, Lyca snuggles the blanket that smells like you because maybe, just maybe, heâll be able to chase you and tell you not to leave him if he memorizes your scent.
Ruiâs message about your death comes as a surprise to Ed even though he knows that human lives are fleeting â theyâre fragile and easily broken. In some ways, that is why Ed has always thought that human life is so beautiful.Â
Still, he thinks your life wouldâve been so much more beautiful if you had lived it to its full extent. If you couldâve continued to laugh like you had, if you couldâve continued to shine bright like you had â he thinks youâd have made the world a better place.Â
Heâs lived for many years, yet the loss of someone he considers dear somehow still stings. He thought he managed to rid himself of such stinging emotions, yet it appears that even age does not make you immune to loss.Â
Or perhaps you're just one of those humans â one of those humans that make a lasting impact on those around them. But how could you not make an impact? After all, you were so hardworking, both for your sake and for others.Â
Who wouldnât find you precious?
âOkay, Ed! Letâs watch some sad movies!â
Ed had texted you a few minutes ago, bemoaning his exhaustion. He hadnât expected you to barrel into his room, a bag of snacks in your hand.
âMy, my. What brought this on? Not that I am opposed, of course.â
âWell, you said you were tired, right? And you also said you drink tears, right? Well, I brought over some movies Iâll definitely cry to!â you gave him a confident grin. âDonât worry, Ed. Youâll feel better really soon!â
âHow reassuring,â he mused, welcoming you into his messy room. Rui had cleaned it up a few days ago, but Ed found it quite difficult to maintain cleanliness. You didnât comment on it as you made your way over to him, settling yourself by his side. It was quite cozy.
Laying in his bed isnât quite as cozy if youâre not there, he realizes. He scrolls through the videos youâve sent him, imagining how you reacted to these videos. It is reassuring in some ways to have remnants of you left behind, but the pain that he can now only reach you through the remnants of your memory leaves him feeling vacant.
âBeing with you really does bring up old, old memories,â he muses. âPerhaps itâs because you remind me a little of her.â
He wonders if thereâll be anyone who reminds him of you.
Not everyone who dies becomes a ghost. Yet, deep inside, Zenji had hoped that youâd have turned into one like him. He had hoped that youâd be able to spend time together, finally being able to hold your hand in his. However, he knows that itâs a selfish desire, one that cannot come true. He scoured the entire campus for any sign of your soul, after all, and came up empty handed.
He wishes that you couldâve been alive instead, then.
Heâd rather live by your side, unable to touch you, than not be able to see you at all.
Heâd rather you live your life like you want to, happily.
He wishes he couldâve done something more for you â after all, youâve done so much for him. Heâs a ghost, someone that most donât know the existence of. Yet you made sure to greet him and spend time with him whenever you had time. Youâve been a source of his inspiration, his muse, because of how much you make his heart swell with joy.
He is an artist, so creating is in his blood. However, how do you create when you lose a piece of your hope? How do you create when you lose your source of inspiration?
âMy dear, what do you think about this piece?â Zenji had asked, flourishing his biwa with grandeur.Â
âItâs great!â you said, earnestly. âI especially like how it felt like a full narrative â I got so tense when the biwaâs sound got deeper in the middle, just like the climax of a story!â
âAstute observation, my dear! That is indeed what I was aiming for.â Zenji couldnât express the unexplainable joy that blossomed inside his heart when he heard your praise. You were a beacon of light that shined in the desolate lands. You were the purple wisteria that danced from the tree branches over the Hotarubi lake. Your beauty, your kindness â it was all so beautiful to him. He felt like the moon to your sun. âI really am the luckiest fella around.â
And now, heâs the unluckiest fella around, Zenji thinks. Youâre no longer by his side. Youâll never be by his side, at least, not in this lifetime. The thought makes Zenjiâs heart throb painfully. âMaybe we really did meet too late,â Zenji murmurs, watching wisteria petals float around the lake. âBut itâs all right. I promise Iâll find you in the next life.â
 Haku canât say heâs ever been too happy to be able to see ghosts. Sure, Zenjiâs fun to be around and itâs not like his ability really harmed him in any way, but he canât really think of many times heâs been glad to have his ability. When he hears of your death, denial is the first thing that settles in his brain. Then, the grief follows. But hope blossoms in a corner of his mind. He can see ghosts â maybe heâll be able to see you? Hope glimmers in the corner of Hakuâs heart as he tries to find you.
The glimmer soon dies out, however, because itâs all for naught. Not everyone becomes a ghost. It was foolish of him to think that youâd have become one.
But then whatâs the point of his power â his stupid ability to see ghosts? Whatâs the point of it if he canât even see the one he wants to see?
Haku feels like itâs all a big practical joke from the universe, and he wants to be in on it because heâs failing to see whatâs so funny.
Living an ordinary life, dying an ordinary death â thatâs something you deserved to experience, and now youâre gone. Itâs an inexplicably painful feeling that stabs at his heart. How is he supposed to fill the hole you left behind?
âI donât know if this is a good ideaâŠâ you murmured, looking shy.
âYou look beautiful,â Haku said, easily, a teasing grin on his face at how flustered you looked. His words were far from teasing, though. They were filled with an earnest praise of how gorgeous you looked decorated in white. Just seeing you in wedding attire made him think that itâd be a shame if anyone else got to see how beautiful you looked, but also a shame if no one else got to see. A weird balance of wanting to show you off, yet wanting to keep you to himself lingered inside him.
âSure, sure,â you grumbled without any bite. âLetâs just get this over with.â
âThanks for agreeing to help, by the way,â Haku said, offering you his hand to take. You took it gratefully, before you shook your head with a laugh.
âItâs nothing. Iâm glad I can help your junior in some way, though.â
âYeah, she really appreciates your help.â
âGood.â The satisfaction on your face made you glow with a sort of shine one could only find in gold. It was precious, it was soft, it was so darling that Haku wanted to make sure that you continued to glow and shine forever. Even if it meant that you werenât by his side (even though he so desperately wanted you by his side).
â...I know Iâm being selfish â but sometimes, I wish youâd forget about meâŠâ he murmured, low enough that he hoped you wouldnât hear it. You gave him a glance, only squeezing his hand in response. He wasnât sure how to interpret your reaction, but a part of him wants it to indicate that you wouldnât ever forget him, even if forgetting him would most likely make you happier.
Itâs hard to balance the desire of being remembered and the desire of being forgotten.
He wasnât sure what he was feeling.
âBut I guess that doesnât really matter now, does it?â Haku muses, looking at the skies above. Stars sprinkle the navy-colored sky like diamonds. He can only hope youâre out there, shining.
From the age of four, Subaru was molded to perfect the performing arts. A child star, a prodigy â those are the titles given to him. He never feels like he deserves that praise â heâs not sure if heâll ever feel like he deserves that praise. After all, growing up, anxiety was his most reliable companion, following him everywhere he went. How can he not doubt himself?
Yet while he breathed the performing arts, heâs developed mannerisms most around him find peculiar and odd. Itâs hard not to think of himself as a bother when he canât seem to blend into society as well as heâd like.
Because of his oddities, he never thought heâd ever be able to have a normal school life. Somehow, however, he's able to come to Darkwick Academy, experiencing pleasant social interactions due to the kindness of the people around him â people like yourself. Youâre someone who Subaru can find a semblance of comfort in, despite his anxiety.
He knows heâs probably annoying you, but youâre always there, always so patient. You donât make fun of him for his discomfort, nor do you push him beyond his boundaries. Instead, you patiently wait for him, allowing him to walk alongside you at his pace.
So when Subaru hears the news that youâre no longer with the living â no longer with him, he can't stop his mind from spinning. Youâve always been someone that waited for him patiently, yet now youâve gone off by yourself to somewhere he canât reach.
Emptily, he looks at the sakura mochi on the shelf â he had bought it for you. Youâd eat his meager offerings with gusto, even if not all of them suited your palette.
Heâs not sure how heâll stomach some of the food heâs eaten with you from this point onwards. Youâre not here physically, only your memories lingering in the ingredients of his meals. Heâs not sure if heâll be able to stomach the food youâve made for him if someone else makes it, either.
âIâm sorry,â he had said, running up to you, out of breath.âI didnât mean to be late.â
âYouâre not!â you responded cheerily, patting the spot next to you. âCome, sit!â
âThank you.â Gingerly, Subaru took the spot next to you, placing his hands on his lap. You peered at him curiously.
âWhereâs your lunch, Subaru?â
âAh.â Subaru ducked his head in embarrassment. âI ended up not being able to get anything.â Despite making you wait, despite his best efforts, he just wasnât able to secure anything. How shameful. âBut itâs all right. I can drink water for lunch.â
âNo, donât do that,â you chastised, lightly. âI actually packed my own lunch today because I thought itâd be busy everywhere. I packed a lot, so why donât we share?â
âAhââ Subaru looked at the delectable way your lunch box was crafted. âNo, Iâd hate to intrude.â
âYou arenât intruding, Subaru.â You nudged one of your lunchboxes into his hand along with some chopsticks. âIâm offering! Iâm actually pretty happy with how some of these came out. Wonât you try some?â
At the delicious smell of your lunchbox, Subaruâs stomach let out an embarrassing growl. His face flushed, mortified, but you made no comment on it, instead offering your lunch again. âWell, if you insist,â he murmured, finally taking a box from you.Â
Once he took you up on your offer, you dug into your own lunch. Though, Subaru couldnât help but notice how youâd glance at him nervously. It was kind of cute.
Not wanting to waste your kindness, Subaru took a bite of the lunch, before his eyes widened with glee. âThis is delicious!â
âWhewâ I mean, great! Iâm so glad,â you beamed. âIf you tell me some of your favorite food, I can try to make it for you! I canât guarantee itâll be as good as Shoâs, but I can try!â
âI couldnât ask you to,â Subaru responded, bashfully. The thought that you cared for him was enough to satisfy him. âI would hate to be a bother.â
âYouâre never a bother, Subaru.â Your voice was so kind, so soft and genuine that Subaru didnât really know how to react.
âReally?â Disbelief laced his voice. He hated being a bother but always felt like he was. He knew that you were already spending your precious lunch with him when you could spend it with anyone else. There wasnât any way youâd care about him to that extent, right?Â
âSubaru?â you asked, concerned.
âI just canât believe it â whyâŠâ Subaru paused, suddenly hit with a bout of embarrassment. âAhâ I donât want to seem like Iâm testing you, I just⊠I get really anxious sometimes⊠Iâm sorry. Iâm being weird, arenât I?â
âYouâre not.â Your voice rang clear inside the storm in Subaruâs head, letting sunshine stream through the clouds. âIâve never thought you were a bother. I actually really enjoy my lunches with you.â
âReally?â
âYup! So if Iâm not too much of a bother, letâs eat more lunches together!â
Subaru had promised, promised that he would. He promised that youâd always eat your lunches together because thatâs what he sincerely believed. He believed that you two would be able to bask underneath the sunrays, seated on your favorite bench, laughing.
He wants to believe that youâll still be able to eat together. He wants to believe so desperately. Because who else could bring him the comfort you did? Who else will patiently wait for him to catch up, gently guiding him when he needs it?
But now youâre gone â youâre gone. You wonât be able to come back. It tears at Subaru because his anxiety and inferiority complex tell him that itâs his fault â that he couldâve done something, anything, to save you.Â
Why couldnât he save you?
Why couldnât you have been saved?
The room that Subaru is in feels too big for him as it slowly fills with his grief.
According to Article 230 in the Japanese penal code, âa person who defames another by publicly alleging facts shall, regardless of whether such facts are true or false, be punished with penal servitude or imprisonment not to exceed three years or a fine of not more than 500,000 yen.â Doesnât Darkwick know that? Why would Darkwick allege such odd things like your death, Ritsu wonders. Still, heâll record what the Masterpiece Newscasters are saying â after all, itâll be useful to leverage against Darkwick when he takes you to argue his cases.
There is little he finds more important than being able to argue his cases, which indicate his proficiency. He needs to be proficient in order to be able to become a fantastic lawyer like his father â this has always been his goal. Even after meeting you, itâs been his goal.
Some may have thought that you wouldâve been a distraction for Ritsu, but heâs certain that your presence in his life has been for the better. Youâre a fantastic business partner, being perfect to bounce his ideas off of. Itâs admirable that youâve taken on the mantle of ridding yourself of your curse, too. Ritsu finds that most people arenât that hard working or really worth his time (unless theyâre clients), but youâre different. Youâre worth his time.
âCould I ask you to accompany me a little longer?â he had asked one day as youâre about to leave the diner. âI realize itâs outside of business hours, but⊠I would appreciate it if you could make a special exception.â
âOh?â you looked surprised, though it was soon replaced with a smile. Your smile was something Ritsu appreciated seeing nowadays â something that felt like visible proof of Ritsuâs hard work. âYeah, sure! I have time. What do you need?â
âI have to go over a few notes,â Ritsu responded, passing a notebook over to you. âIâve already gone through these once, but Iâd appreciate it if you could go through it, too. Itâll prove beneficial for you.â
âYeah, sure, leave it to me!â
Your eagerness to help Ritsu cemented the fact that you were the right choice for his business partner. As the hour slowly trailed on, the both of you focused on your respective reading, Ritsu found that he didnât quite mind spending time with you like this, outside of business hours. He found your presence calming, yet also helpful â he found it easier to focus when you were around.
It was nice. Even as the two of you began to wrap up, Ritsu wasnât in as much of a hurry to disappear.Â
âIâll take your thoughts into consideration,â Ritsu said as you two left the diner. The night sky stretched out beautifully above you two. Ritsu had never noticed it before.
âSounds good!â
Ritsu cleared his throat, offering you a hand to shake. You shook his hand without much preamble. He appreciated it. âIt seems we make better business partners than I would have expected. I look forward to a long and prosperous relationship with you.â
âLikewise.â
He still thought about the smile youâd given him that night, bright like the moon. It was a smile that made it obvious that he had someone by his side to support him â someone that he can support in return.Â
So, thereâs no way youâre gone. Not when you have him as a business partner. Thatâs a ludicrous thought.
Still, he canât seem to shake the ill feeling from his body. Why arenât you responding to your texts? Youâre usually quite timely unless something has come up. SomethingâŠ
No, thereâs no way youâre gone. Thereâs just no way.
Ritsuâs grip on his briefcase tightens.
He feels like heâs going to be sick.
Romeo wants to scream, so he does. âEveryone, leave!â His voice echoes in his room, his workers trying to scramble out of Romeoâs wrath. With a frustrated string of curses, Romeo collapses on his expensive chair, the one encrusted with diamond â the one that youâd complimented.
Romeo truly, utterly, feels sick. He feels annoyed. He feels disgusting. His perfect porcelain skin is marred with wrinkles, a frown deep set in his face. How dare you â how dare you have the audacity to leave him. He never gave you permission to do things like this, so how could you go away? Heâs always known you were bad at following directions, but this is too much, even for you.
No.
Whatâs too much is that someone, someone, thought that they could come in and take you from him. How dare they! They didnât even get permission from him! They didnât⊠So why would they? They canât take you away from him, not when youâre the only one that listens to him. Not when youâre the only one who seems to care about not making wrinkles appear on his face. Not when youâve been doing your best.
Itâs not fair. Itâs just not fair.
âWhy are you carrying that?! What if you drop it and it breaks?â Romeo exclaimed, watching you carry a very expensive vase.
âAh â I heard you say that the guys whoâre supposed to move this havenât done their job, so I thought I could help!â
Help?! Romeo couldnât help but look at the way your arms trembled with the weight of a price that far exceeded your budget, doubt coloring his face. âIâll get one of our young guys to do it, so put it down already!â
You huffed, putting the vase down carefully, with a defeated sigh. âSorry, I just wanted to help.â
âHelp where youâre actually useful,â Romeo grumbled, crossing his arms. If those idiots that heâd asked to move the vase actually moved the vase, then he wouldnât be in this predicament. âThose WTWUT make my life much harder.â
âWall-to-wall useless trash, huh?â you mused. Romeo thought that amusement looked good on you â it gave you a cocky look that suited you. If only everyone else could be like you, then he wouldnât be as stressed as he was.Â
âI need a face pack,â he muttered.
âDo you want me to get it for you?â
âHm. Sure.â Romeo paused. âGet one for yourself while youâre at it.â
âMe?â you looked at him with curiosity and shock written across the apples of your cheeks.
âWho else?â
âI just⊠I dunno. Do you think itâs okay?â
âOf course. What could you possibly be afraid of?â Romeo asked. âYouâre one of my people! Whoâs going to say anything?â
You looked contemplative, before a light smile crossed your features. âThatâs true. I guess no one can really say anything to you.â
Your words make him feel powerful. Your actions do, too. When heâs with you, he feels like the world is in his palms. But now heâs without you. Now, heâll always be without you.
Anger thrums through his veins.Â
Youâre one of his people. How dare they take you away from him? Romeo wonât stand for it. Heâll snipe down the bastard that did this to him â that did this to you.
âYou BTH!â Romeo yells, storming into Taigaâs room with the fury of a thousand bulls. âYouâre still lazing around?â
Taiga doesnât respond, twirling a gun in his hand. Heâs not entirely in his right mind right now, but he can still pick up ârevengeâ and âsnipeâ among the various words Romeo spews.
âYou better do your part,â Romeo hisses, finally deciding to leave Taiga alone. Maybe Romeo wouldâve stayed longer to nag at Taiga if Romeo were in a better state of mind. Taiga canât really bring himself to care at the moment, though, his own state of mind is a jumbled mess.
Flashes of memories, flashes of thoughts â they alternate inside his head, before phasing out of existence. Heâs not sure when it started, but his mind has been deteriorating, memories floating in and out of his head. What most would consider âcommon senseâ is also something Taiga has been losing grasp of.
Even in spite of that, somehow, youâve made your way into his brain, like a little parasite that burrows into his thoughts. He didnât think he could remember someone â not in his current state of mind, anyway. He didnât think he could form an attachment to you either, not with how he just doesnât want to care anymore. The worldâs going to burn, everything unfurling into a messy pile of futures that could be and won't be. Itâs all messed up, itâs all gonna be messed up. Yet, somehow, despite all that, Taiga canât help but think of you as some source of light, a beacon of hope that he kept around to stop him from completely drowning in the dark murkiness of the future.
âThatâs it, kitty-cat,â he had said, placing you in his lap as he prepared to play another round of blackjack. âI feel like my luckâll change if youâre around.â
âI donât know about that,â you responded, watching as the dealer handed out everyoneâs cards. You fidgeted in his lap like a cute little cat, clearly trying to break your discomfort.
âQuit failing around,â Taiga said, looking at his cards. To Taigaâs amusement, you settled in his lap to the best of your abilities, leaning into his chest. He pulled you closer, as he continued to play blackjack.Â
The longer he played, the more he felt some odd sense of peace with you snuggled in his lap. Your smell and warmth wrapped around him like a little security blanket. In some ways, it made him want to consume you wholly until you couldnât think of anything else that wasnât him. It made him hungry.
But now, thereâs a hollow feeling inside of him, something that bypasses physical hunger. He hungers for your soul thatâs now no longer here. The pitch-black murkiness of the future spreads even further across his eyelids, being the only thing he can see. Fate has dealt him a bad hand that he had tried to win against.
He never could win, though, could he?
âTell me something, would you?â Taiga laughs in his empty room, eyes staring at the ceiling. He searches and searches, but canât find any sight of you. âWhat could I have done different to change this outcome?â
Ren has always thought that coming to Darkwick Academy was a mistake. His experience didnât exactly start off nicely, what with him being sorted into Jabberwock and having to deal with the annoying Jabberwock captain. All those stupid anomalous animals made it so that he rarely had time to himself, even if he tried his best to lock himself in his room.
Still, thereâs a silver lining to everything. Sure, Towa keeps trying to feed some odd looking porridge. Sure, Haru is still meddlesome and annoying. But theyâre⊠not bad. And youâre here, so itâs kind of okay.Â
Heâs always thought that people doing annoying things for the sake of friends or whatever were delusional â frankly speaking, he could care less. Yet, when he looks at you, he thinks that maybe there are people out there who do things because they want to. Initially, youâd been somewhat of a doormat to him, but then he realized that your voluntary help came because you care about others â about him.
He canât count the number of times youâve come to help him out, whether itâs with the anomalous animals or a raid in his new game. Youâve just⊠always been there. He didnât think it was possible, but your constant presence had carved out a you-shaped hole in his life, a place only you could fit.
So howâs he supposed to fill that emptiness now? Itâs all your fault, Ren thinks. If only he hadnât met you⊠but then, if he hadnât met you, he doesnât think he couldâve survived.
âWell done me for surviving another dayâŠâ Ren had grumbled, dusting his jumpsuit off. He hated getting dirty, but it wasnât like he could avoid it in Jabberwock, especially if Haru was going to hound him continuously.Â
âGood job, Ren!â
He looked up, seeing how you still looked cute despite the mud and disheveled hair. He found it kind of unfair. âOh, same to you,â he said. âI donât know how you can do this stuff voluntarily.â
âThe animals are cute and you guys need the help,â you replied, waving at him to bend down. âRen, thereâs some mud on your face. Do you mind if I wipe it off?â
âHuh? Youâre the type who does this kind of stuff, huh?â
âAh, sorryââ
âNo, you can,â Ren said. It wasnât like he gave you permission to help him because he wanted to feel your touch, though. It was because he couldnât stand the mud on him. Yup. That was definitely the reason. Still, even then, he couldnât help the way his heart thudded against his chest as you gently wiped the grime off of his face. âItâs from that stupid bull anomaly kicking dirt in my face, isnât it?â
âI think thatâs when it happened, yeah,â you responded with a laugh. âBut Iâm here if you need me, so I can help you.â
Ren didnât know what to say to your honest desire to help him, it was oddly sweet of you. You had been his only real source of comfort, what with everyone else wanting so much from him. You were the only one who watched his B-horror movies with him â the only one whoâd game with him.
âThere, all done! Letâs go back to the dorms. Iâm sure youâll feel better after a shower.â
â...Thanks,â he muttered, walking with you back to the Jabberwock dorms. The skies were painted shades of pink and purple, the sun ready to head to bed.
âEven though itâs hard work, itâs nice to be able to see the sunset, huh?â you hummed. Ren liked the sound of your voice â not too loud like Haruâs and not too incomprehensible like Towaâs.
âYeah.â He breathed in deeply, feeling the fresh air purify his lungs. âEvery day here is a fresh hell, though.â
âAw, Ren,â you laughed. âYeah, itâs pretty hard work, huh?â
â...Yeah. But, youâre suffering through it with me, so I guess Iâll stick it out for a little longerâŠâ
But howâs he supposed to stick it out now? Youâre not here anymore. Youâre not going to be there to help him. Youâre not going to be there when he wants to watch his B-horror movies or play games. Youâre not going to be there when he buys you a drink as he walks you home.
Youâre not going to be here. And he didnât even get to say goodbyeâŠ
Renâs always been bad at goodbyes â he couldnât even wish Calamari farewell. But heâd have rather been able to say something to you since heâs not going to be able to say anything to you ever again now. Never, ever again.
Ren doesnât know how heâs going to survive.
Ever since Towa found out about your death, the skies in Jabberwock have been marred with thick clouds and thunder. His precious, precious Dandelion â how can you be gone? You canât be gone yet. You havenât told him all the love stories you had in your arsenal. You havenât tried all the flowers Towa wants to offer you. You havenât shown him all the reactions youâve stored away for him to slowly bring to the surface.
You canât be gone just yet, he wonât allow it.
Murkiness swims inside Towaâs heart as he grapples with the anger and sadness that fight and merge into an incomprehensible seed of emotion that is planted deeply within Towaâs heart. Should he just strike everyone down? Youâre not here, so as long as he avoids Haru, it doesnât matter who he hurts. Itâs not like he particularly cares about anyone else on campus anyway.Â
But he canât allow his emotions to explode out of him just yet, not when the tree on the hill is dying. You care about that tree as well, after all.Â
But then where is he supposed to spill his anger? His grief? Where does it all go?
Is this what love is? This agony?
Towa hasnât ever really been certain about what âloveâ is.Â
âWell, love can be a lot of things,â you had said, laying by his side on the hill with the tree. You were enraptured with the stars, but Towa couldnât help but look at you. You were so much like a dandelion, your resilience and strength shining through despite your troubles. And you were cute like a Dandelion. Your voice was nice, too, like the wind that carried dandelion seeds across the world. âLike⊠thereâs romantic love, platonic love, familial love, and all of that, you know? Even within romantic love, it can be a lot of different things.â
âLike what?â Towa asked, making you hum in thought.
âUh⊠like soulmates, I guess? Some people meet their soulmates, some donât. But even if you donât meet your soulmate, you can still find someone you romantically love. Maybe youâll meet your soulmate but not realize theyâre your soulmate too. Itâd be hard to tell, right?â
âWhen you meet your soulmate, it feels like getting struck by lightning. Did you know that? Have you felt it, Dandelion?â Towaâs words made you turn your head towards him, finally paying attention to him instead of the stars. Towa liked the way you looked at him.
âI donât think I have,â you responded, truthfully. âBut Iâm not in a rush. Iâm sure Iâll find the person I love, even if theyâre not my soulmate. Hell, maybe anyone can be your soulmate. Maybe soulmates are made when you love and grow with each other. Who knows?â A yawn escaped your mouth as you finished your thought.
âHeh heh.â Towaâs eyes crinkled at the sight. âAre you tired, Dandelion? Youâre so weak. Itâs cute.â
âHey!â you laughed. âIâm getting stronger, yâknow.â Flexing your arm, you show off a small bit of the muscle youâve been building up. Towa couldnât help but be amused at your little display of strength, miniscule in front of his own power. It was hard not to find it cute that you tried to carry so many burdens on your shoulders despite your own weaknesses. Towa could only surmise that your resilience came from the love within you. He hoped that he could be a part of that love inside of you.
âDo you like me, Dandelion?â Towa inquired, smile bright. âBecause I love you!â
Towa doesnât fully know what love is â itâs an idea heâs always been in love with, but has no experience and understanding of. Youâre the closest heâs ever gotten to potentially finding the answer heâs been looking for. But now youâre gone. He doesnât know how heâll understand love now.
He hugs the great tree on the hill, tears trickling down his face.
 When the little mermaid turned into seafoam, did she feel this way too?
Haru is always busy. He wakes up busy and sleeps busy. Nothing ever seems to stop for him, time constantly slipping through his fingers like sand no matter how fast he runs.
So why did time have to stop for you?
Even as Haru makes his rounds, Towaâs lightning in the backdrop as he works, he canât seem to keep his mind busy enough to not think of you. Thoughts and memories of you run around his head again and again and again. They run so fast that he canât seem to catch up.
So Haru does what he can do to maintain routine. At the very least, maintaining routine should help him adjust, shouldnât it? But as he carries out his daily chores, all he can think about is how youâd help him around Jabberwock. How you would give him sweets to amp up his energy. How you loved Peekaboo like it was your own.
âBooâŠâ Peekaboo says, aware of the tenseness and wariness on Haruâs shoulders â aware of the fact youâre no longer there. Peekabooâs tears make your death weigh even heavier on Haruâs heart as he cuddles the small beast in his arms.
âYou sure are fond of the Honor Student, arenât you, Peekaboo?â Haru had asked, looking at how Peekaboo cuddled up against your chest as you fed it. âYou did nothing but bite me for the first three days after we met.â
You laughed brightly, releasing a sound that Haru was quite fond of. âThe only reason Peekabooâs not biting me is because itâs used to you, you know.â
âYou reckon?â Haru responded, reaching out to pet Peekaboo who welcomed the touch.
âSee? Look at that. Peekaboo loves you so much.â You gave Peekaboo a kiss on its cute fluffy forward, making the small anomalous animal make happy little squeaks. âYou like your dad quite a bit, donât you?â
The sight of you and Peekaboo together made Haruâs heart warm. He was constantly managing things by himself that he never really expected to find a stable support system. Towa, while competent, could be quite moody. Ren, too, while able bodied, refused to do a lot of the work. So, of course, work always fell on Haruâs weary shoulders. He never expected to find someone that could provide him the support he needed â like the other parent of Jabberwock. âThen youâre a bit like Peekabooâs mother, eh?â
âI wouldnât mind â not when my child is as cute as Peekaboo!â you replied brightly, patting Peekabooâs back to allow it to burp. After releasing a burp too large for such a small animal, Peekaboo cuddled into you, satisfied. You hummed out a little tune as you rocked the little anomalous animal to sleep. Seeing you made a smile stretch across Haruâs face.
âReally learned the ropes here, havenât you?â he said, gently ruffling Peekabooâs fur. âOnce we have a little cash to spare, Iâll buy you your own Jabberwock uniform!â
Youâd no longer need it, though, Haru thinks, thumb brushing against the fabric of the Jabberwock uniform he had gotten for you. While you arenât officially a part of the Jabberwock House, itâs hard not to feel like you belonged.Â
But youâre no longer here â you no longer belong to the living, so how could you belong to Jabberwock? Haru wishes that you were still here, though. It hasnât even been a day, but he already misses you. Even if you couldnât help him out every day, just getting a text message boosted his spirits. Just thinking about the fact that youâd help him with Jabberwock duties and his personal issues helped him get through his cumbersome day.
You were someone he could depend on and he wanted to be someone you could depend on. But, in the end, he couldnât protect you.
His responsibilities sit heavily on his shoulders.
Sho has always kept himself busy. Whether itâs cooking, playing sports, training, or something else, Sho has always liked to do something. Maybe thatâs why heâs in the kitchen, cooking your favorite meal, while he tries to process what the Masterpiece Newscasters had prattled on about earlier.
Youâre dead?
Thereâs no way. You canât be.
He thinks back to the first case you worked on together, the one with Takeru. He had failed to protect you then and vowed he wouldnât put you in the way of danger like that again. So how? Why?
Who killed you?
Sho slams a fist on the kitchen counter, lips pressed in a thin line. Frustration bubbles inside him as curses leave his lips in rapid succession.
You canât be dead. You canât. Not when youâve been working so hard. Not when youâve been doing everything in your power to survive. Not when youâve inspired and helped him to the point that he still feels like he has to repay you. Not when he hasnât done or told you everything he wants to.
âFuck!â he yells, slamming his fists on the kitchen counter once more.
You jolted when he yelled a curse, slamming a fist on the wall.
âShit, sorry. Didnât mean to scare you,â Sho said, sheepishly rubbing the nape of his neck. You were fun to tease and get reactions out of, but that didnât mean he wanted to scare you.
âWhatâs the matter, Sho?â you asked, putting down your knife. âTell me. I might be able to help you.â
âItâs nothing,â Sho started to say, before the look on your face made him stop. He snorted at how displeased you looked. âItâs just that some back order stuff got delayed. I wonât have enough forks for tomorrow.â
âOh, is that it?â you asked, looking relieved. âI have a bunch of plastic forks back at the cathedral, actually. Do you want me to get them?â
âHuh? Why do you have a bunch of plastic forks laying around?â
âUh⊠letâs just say that I had some ordering issues.â You waved a hand to dismiss the question. âAnyway! I can go get them.â
âNah, letâs go together.â He shuffled around, before pulling out a helmet and tossing it to you. âHere, this helmetâs for you.â
âOh, this one looks awesome!â you beamed, turning the helmet around in your hands. It was in your favorite color with your favorite patterns. Sho huffed out a laugh at your response. You were so cute sometimes.
âGlad you like it. Câmon.â He pushed the door to the food truck open with his foot. âLetâs go.â
âOkay!â
âAfter this,â he began, closing and locking the door once you were both out of the food truck, âI got some time today, so Iâll take you somewhere. Anywhere you wanna go.â
He still remembers the way your arms felt around his waist as you clung to him while he drove. He still remembers the way your eyes sparkled watching your favorite scenery. He still remembers how his heart pounded in his chest, the feeling of liberation lifting his spirits, as he drove through the streets with you clinging to him.
Your determination has always felt like freedom to Sho â itâs what inspired him to put more effort into his life at Darkwick. Itâs what inspired him to take things more seriously.Â
But maybe he shouldâve taken things more seriously when he had the chance. Now that youâre gone, so is his chance to prove himself to you. You've gone somewhere too far, somewhere no one else can reach.Â
This isnât the freedom he had envisioned for you.
Whenever Sho gets too emotional, Leo is quick to make fun of him. It's stupid to get too riled up, Leo thinks. The world is boring and easy to manipulate, after all. Why should he get upset?Â
Leo has always been able to get what he wants â he even became vice-captain, for fuck's sake. He basically solved Takeruâs case by himself while also trying to get rid of you because your stupid stigma enhancement might overshadow him. Sure, he couldn't get rid of you then but it's not like he can't try again, especially when you keep sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.
But this isnât how he wanted to get rid of you. Who said you could just die? Itâs so stupid. Itâs so dumb that it makes Leo feel angry. You stupidly kept going despite his scathing remarks, despite people walking all over you and disrespecting you, so why are you dead? Youâre not allowed to be dead.
You still need to help him use Haxs. You still need to be there so he can get a sense of validation when he watches your reactions. You still need to be here because out of everyone on campus, your presence is somewhat tolerable. Whoâs he gonna comfortably boss around now?
âHa ha. You were photobombing one of my pics so I uploaded it and said I had a new girlfriend,â Leo snickered as you brushed his hair. He didnât think youâd be so good at it, but he found that his hair was smoother when you brushed it. â10K interacts in less than an hour. Suckers.â
âIs that okay?â you asked, making Leo roll his eyes.
âItâs fine, Honor Roll. In fact, shouldnât you be grateful?â
âThatâs not what I meant.â you huffed, tugging his hair lightly as you untangled a knot. It felt nice. âI mean, are you okay? Donât influencers get harassed if they post about their significant others?â
Leo hated this whole goody-two-shoes act you had going on. Why were you so concerned about him? It wasnât like he was particularly nice to you and it wasnât like you necessarily treated him better than you would anyone else. Were you just stupidly nice in general? âBeing an influencer means you get hate mail anyway,â he responded, closing out of his social media app. It wasnât really all that interesting anymore.
âHm⊠I see.â You became silent, which made Leo feel oddly annoyed. âPeople can really suck sometimes.â
Leo snorted. He had been anything but kind to you, really, so he thought youâd have already come to that conclusion a while ago. âItâs whatever. Theyâre all basic.â
He knew that this was the point where you could say something about him coming to you to talk (which he would never do, barf), but you donât. Instead, you continue to thread your fingers through his hair gently.
He hated to admit it, but it was relaxing.
âOkay, I think Iâm done,â you hummed, removing your hands from him. He noted that it was slightly colder when you left, but chalked it up to the poor heat regulation in Vagastrom. âOh, and Happy Valentineâs Day, Leo! I got you something.â
Leo turned to you curiously as he combed his fingers through his hair, which definitely felt softer. He gingerly took your offering, before his eyes widened. âThis is that ultra-spicy chocolate they only sell this time of year⊠Iâm actually genuinely stoked right now.â
âIâm glad!â you beamed. It was a smile that Leo thought was slightly less ugly than usual. In general, you had been looking slightly less ugly lately, actually. That thought made him feel nauseous.
âWanna make a bet, Honor Roll?â
You blinked at him, suddenly looking wary. He used to think that expression was so stupid, but now he thought it was kind of cute in a dumb kind of way. âWhat type of betâŠ?â
âA bet over which will come first â me falling for you, or you getting hooked on me.â
Thereâs no conclusive way to find out the end to this bet now, not with you gone. But he thinks you probably got hooked on him first â after all, itâs not like heâs thinks about your stupid laugh or dumb words of encouragement when he feels down or anything. Besides, as far as the internetâs concerned, youâre already dating him.
He briefly thinks about uploading a post about your death. Those suckers online would eat it up, sending him pity and sympathy. But the thought is so unappealing that he drops it. Itâs not like your death is gonna matter to other people.
After all, life sucks and then you die, right? Itâs just a part of living and heâs not pathetic enough to suddenly miss you. But thereâs a disgustingly hollow feeling in his chest as his thoughts ring too loudly. Youâre just an NPC â arenât NPCs supposed to live quietly in the background while the main characters get their character development or whatever?Â
Why couldnât you just quietly live your life like that?
Youâre so stupid.
Alan has always felt like a monster. His hands â his stigma â have crushed so many things until theyâve become nothing but dust. Heâs never been proud of this strength, not when he causes so many to cower.Â
He had expected you to cower, too, especially after he ripped Takeruâs ghost apart in front of you, so lost in the bloodlust. But you hadnât. You stood by his side with as much care and compassion you could muster. When he wanted to keep looking into the case of Takeruâs ghost even after it was considered âfinishedâ by Darkwick, you offered to help him even though you didnât need to.
Alanâs never really been a conversationalist, so he didnât expect you to spend time with him unless it was necessary. Still, he canât say he dislikes having you around. Even when heâs tinkering with his car, itâs nice to have you sitting nearby, talking about your day.
Youâre someone he appreciates â someone who does their best no matter how dire the situation is, someone who strives to do better. How could he not grow fond of how hard you work on a daily basis?
âI pat people on the head a lot? Didnât notice,â Alan had said, after placing his hand on your hair. He really hadnât realized â it was a force of habit, especially when you had done such a good job. âIâm doing it again?â he murmured, removing his hand, â...Sorry.â
âItâs nothing you have to be sorry for,â you responded, honestly. âIt was just an observation.â
Despite knowing that his hands were akin to weapons, Alan couldnât help but be drawn to touching you. Unlike him, you were soft and sweet. Still, he felt guilty. He hadnât ever wanted you to feel uncomfortable, after all.Â
âI actually kind of like it when you pat my head,â you said. âYouâre really gentle with it, so it makes it feel like I did a good job!â
Alan would never describe his touch as gentle, but he felt like he could believe it if it came from you.âYouâre doing a good job.â
âThanks!â you responded, giving him a big smile that he couldnât say he had seen from other people. Most other people here had cunning smiles or looked fearful of him. He liked how genuine yours looked. âI can keep trying my best because of you and the others, you know? Thanks a lot.â
Alan couldnât really recall if he had done anything to receive this type of praise from you, but your words made him feel relaxed. He felt like you helped him feel more human. âIâm lucky Iâve got you,â he said, trying to express his gratitude. âAs long as youâre with me, I feel like I wonât lose sight of who I am.â
But now youâre no longer here. It makes Alan scared of himself in a way that heâs never felt before. He had treated you gently, like you were made of glass, because he was scared heâd break you. Yet you werenât ever scared of him breaking you. Being with you softened up his edges and made him feel more human than monster.
Youâre no longer here, though.
Perhaps it has always been his fate to become a monster.
Kaito hasnât stopped crying since heâs heard the Masterpiece Newscasters relay the news of your death. It hurts so bad.Â
Kaito doesnât think heâs ever been so badly hurt in his life.Â
Kaitoâs never been one to like pain, which is why he avoids training and going on missions. He wants to be normal and being a ghoul is abnormal. The non-ghouls around him cement that on a daily basis. Yet youâre one of the only non-ghouls who has always treated him kindly no matter what.
Even when heâs a pathetic idiot or a stupid coward, youâve always been so patient and kind to him. Kaito has liked a lot of girls on a surface level, but his feelings towards you have evolved beyond that. He thinks youâre pretty and lovely and all of that, of course, but more than that, he thinks youâre an amazing person. Amazingly strong, amazingly hard working â youâre someone he values so deeply. Even when he knows heâs being foolish, youâre there by his side because you care about him, arenât you? So how could he not grow to care about you? Youâre the few people that he feels he can truly be close to.
âWhoa, when did it get so late?!â Kaito gasped, looking at the window outside. You two had been baking since noon, but ended up goofing off at some point, delaying the baking process. âSorry, I didnât mean to keep youâŠâ
âIâm still good!â you responded, before taking a big bite out of your cookie. While chewing your sweet treat, you offered Kaito a piece, too.
âReally?â Kaito asked, taking the cookie you offered him.
âYeah, I like spending time with you.â
Your words made Kaitoâs heart swell with so much gratitude and affection that he wasnât entirely sure what to do with himself. He always considered himself lackluster in practically everything, but he felt like he could do better and try to be better because you were there. He couldnât help the cheesy grin that came onto his face.
âOh, look, Kaito! The stars look so pretty!â
Kaito looked over at the large window in the kitchen, watching as the stars twinkled in the night sky.
âIt kind of looks like granulated sugar if you squint, donât you think?â
âYeah, I can see it!â Kaito responded, before tentatively asking, â...Do you like stars?â
âI do,â you replied, taking another bite of your cookie. âWhy dâyou ask?â
âOh, um,â Kaito hesitated, feeling a little bashful all of a sudden. You werenât the type to just reject him harshly, but sometimes Kaito felt nervous in more intimate moments. When you genuinely seemed to return his affections (romantic or not) it made him feel valued as a human being, but it also made him nervous. âI was just wondering âcause thereâs this place where you can see them really well, so I thought youâd want to go some timeâŠâ
âI would love to!â you beamed at him with a smile that could rival the sun. Kaito didnât think the sun needed to shine if you were around. âYou always do find the best places.â
Your words of validation made Kaito feel teary. Youâd always been by his side, no matter what. You didnât have to be his princess or anything like that. In fact, youâd saved him a lot of times before. Still⊠âI know Iâm weak, and a coward,â he began, âBut I really do want to become your knight in shining armor.â
In the end, Kaito never could become your knight in shining armor. Not when youâre gone like this. He couldnât protect you and it tears him up inside. If he had trained and went on missions, would things be different? If so, why couldnât the other ghouls help you instead? You deserve to be alive â you deserve it so much more than anyone else.
Kaito continues to wail inside his room, frustrated that heâs upset at other people not saving you â itâs him that couldnât save you. Itâs his fault. Itâs all his fault and heâll never be able to make it up to you.
Heâll never become your knight in shining armor.
For the first time since coming to Darkwick, Luca feels numb. Heâs not sure how to cope with the fact that your death has come so suddenly. He had promised you that heâd help you absolve your curse, just like you promised him youâd help him subjugate a demon. Yet⊠youâre gone. Youâre not here. You cannot keep your promise to him and he cannot keep his promise to you. It makes him feel hollow.
Luca has always felt that honesty was the best policy, which contributed to his straightlaced nature. Heâs been called inconsiderate because of this and heâs lost people who couldâve been his friend. Him being a ghoul hadnât helped, either, since he was the only ghoul back in Emrys Academy. When he came to Darkwick Academy, all he expected was to learn ways to subjugate a demon. Sure, it wouldâve been nice to make friends, but Luca wasnât going to get his hopes up. Not when he was so set on his goal to find his brother, at least.
Most arenât understanding of Lucaâs honesty and desire to bring back his brother, thinking his one track mind is a hassle. But youâve never treated him like he was a nuisance. Youâve always greeted him brightly and worked with him. Whether you guys looked for information on curses and demons or practiced meditation for a clearer mind, youâve been there.
But youâre not going to be there anymore, are you? Not when heâs meditating, not when heâs looking things up in the library, not when he needs the encouragement â youâre not going to be there.
He at least has hope that heâll be able to bring his brother back. With you, he knows he can never bring you back. Youâre gone, forever. Youâll never be there to experience anything with him anymore.
âWe have experienced many joys and sorrows together since becoming friends. Iâm very glad we met. I look forward to walking the road ahead with you,â Luca had said one day, while you two were meditating. While meditating, Luca couldnât seem to clear his mind from thinking about you and all youâd done for him, so he thought it was only right for him to express it.
âMe too,â you responded, earnestly. Luca liked talking with you because you were candid with him, but patient. Even when he interrupted your meditation. âYouâve been a great ally to me, so thanks a lot, Luca.â You stretched your arms over your head, before staring at the setting sun. Sometimes, Luca wasnât sure what went through your head.
âYouâve been a great ally to me as well.â Luca could scarcely remember people who tried as hard as you. He was duty-bound to a fault that he had trouble abandoning his mission, so he had trouble understanding people who wanted to run away. You were one of the few that came back despite wanting to run away. How could he not be impressed with you?
âThat makes me glad to hear!â you replied, beaming brightly. Luca liked your smile. It radiated a warmth that reminded him of home. âLetâs keep doing our best!â
âYes, letâs.â Luca watched as you kept your gaze on the setting sun. The soft colors of the sky were quite a sight to behold, but Luca wasnât sure why it was distracting you.
âYou know, Luca?â you called, as if you could read his mind. âThey say that as long as youâre on Earth, youâll see the same sun as the people you love. Isnât that nice?â
Luca could be slow to pick up on things sometimes, but he wasnât stupid. He could tell that those words were meant to console you after youâd been stripped from your family so suddenly (heâd come to understand the reasons for your desire to leave that day when you were working on your first case after many conversations with you). Yet, your words carried an undertone that implied that you told him about the sun to console him as well. Him, who was far from his family. Him, whose brother had gone missing. Him.
Those words were meant for him, but he cannot see the value in them now. Not when youâre no longer on this Earth. Not when youâre no longer alive. The sun still shines so brightly over Darkwick as if undeterred by your death. It pains Luca because time feels like itâs stopped for him, yet the world seems to move on.Â
Luca closes his eyes, heart throbbing.
âIâm sorry⊠Yet again I have failed to protect the people most important to meâŠâ
The first thing Tohma does when he hears of your death is smoke to calm his nerves. Heâs counting down the minutes until Jin calls him, but Tohma canât seem to shake the sudden burst of numbness that shoots through his veins.
He hates to admit it, but your death has shaken him up more than heâd like. Of course, heâll have to hide it. Heâll have to get a hold of himself â especially since everyone else will be in a tizzy. But even though he knows this, heâs having a hard time controlling his own emotions.
Youâre the only one who is stupidly earnest in everything you do, allowing him bits of amusement in his life. Youâre the only one thatâs helped him feel like he could forget everything heâs got to do and be. Youâre the only one who tries to lift the burden on his shoulders. Youâre the only one and it makes Tohmaâs lungs feel empty.
What vermin had killed someone as lovely as you?
âWelcome to high society,â Tohma had said, taking your hand in his for a dance. âThat outfit suits you well. With that poise, youâll have no trouble fitting in here.â And he was right, you looked beautiful, like the belle of the ball.
âAha, sure,â you murmured, wincing as you stepped on his foot. âOh god, Iâm so sorry! Iâm still so bad at thisâŠâ
âInexperience is not a crime,â Tohma responded, twirling you in his arms. âThe important thing is choosing to not remain ignorant when you donât know something.â While most would assume Tohma was talking about your dancing capabilities, you knew that he meant something beyond that, too. You were smart like that, after all, and so hardworking. You chose to not remain ignorant.
âYouâre right.â You nodded. âIâm gonna do my best.â
âI look forward to your efforts,â he hummed. âAnd in times of difficulty, I hope youâll turn to those around you for help. I will be there to keep you safe.â
Tohma takes another drag of his cigarette, watching as the smoke fills the room. He told you heâd protect you. He told you, didnât he? And yet he couldnât.
Perhaps a lowly servant like him could never have protected you in the first place.
At the news of your death, Jinâs first move is to slash though the expensive furniture in his room, unsure of where else to let his emotions explode. His hand tightens around his sword as he stabs his sword in the ground, visualizing whoever had the audacity to touch what is his.
How dare they hurt you? How dare they take you away from him?
You, whoâs been so stupidly obedient to him without any expectation of riches or glory. You, whoâs been stupidly kind to him despite his terse nature. You, whoâs been by his side without complaint as long as he ordered it.Â
â...I was too active yesterday. Massage me, servant,â Jin muttered, rolling onto his stomach to give access to his back. Without a word of complaint, you do as youâre told, though Jin couldnât say you could be a masseuse anytime soon. â...What the hell was that? Put some muscle into it.â
âWhat? Iâve been told I give really good massages, though.â
Jin frowned. âFrom?â
âMy dad.â
Jin snorted out a laugh. âTry harder.â
âFine, fine,â you muttered, stretching your arms in front of you. âIâm gonna put my back into it!â Jin wondered if youâd actually be able to give him a proper massage, but the effort in itself was amusing (cute, even). Still, regardless of your massages, it was nice to have your hands on his back. He liked being close to you. âHow was that?â
âIt was fine.â
âWhat!â you exclaimed, incredulous, before grumbling, âYou give a guy a massage and all he does is say itâs bad. Not even a word of thanks.â
With how you were yapping, you mustâve gotten quite comfortable with him. Jin couldnât say he disliked it. âNever learn, do you?â he asked, rolling onto his back so that he can pull you on to the bed next to him. âI donât take you being here for granted. I know it wonât last forever.â
Your eyes widened. âHuh?â
âThatâs all Iâm going to say.â
âWhaâ youâre soââ you huffed, before shaking your head, seemingly pleased. âFine, you win, your majesty. I suppose it's time for this servant to leave.â You made a move to get up, but Jin stopped you.
âIâve got plans early tomorrow. Your house is too far. Stay here tonight.â
He still canât forget the way you looked that night â bashful, sweet. He wanted to lock you in with him so that he could have you for as long as possible. Maybe he shouldâve. He never took your existence for granted, valuing every second heâs spent with you, but when he said that he knew that your relationship wouldnât last forever, he never thought itâd be because someone killed you. The thought makes hot rage course through his veins again.
Heâs going to kill whatever bastard took you from him.
.
.
.
Faintly, your sageâs ring glows on your finger.Â
It asks you a question itâs asked you many times before: âWhat do you desire?â
You answer the question exactly as youâve answered it before: âI want to go back.â
The sage ring glows brighter in response.
You wake up on a train.
Your phone beeps.
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Honor Student
ăTokutaiseiă - çčćŸ
ç
ăTokyo Debunkeră
*Her unofficial default name is Luna - ăăȘ*
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Compilation of Ren screaming cause I love him. [and because I need a new ringtone.]
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THEY DIDN'T ANIMATE BACHIRA EATING PASTA
this anime fucking SUCKS
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oml my favourite thing rn is Atlanta lock like my boys got that shi onnnn
here are my faves
nah shidou is group leader no ones ready for him bro đđ
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Feel like people donât make Chigiri silly enough sometimes.. heâs such a goober sighhhh
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same person btw đâŒïž
someone check isagi for bipolar đđđ
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have this monstrosity of blue lockâs NEL drawings that also doubled as practice
references are all pictures and screenshots of txt that I found on twitter!!
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This frame has so much meme potential:
I'm kinda disappointed that people aren't making memes out itâI'm not on X (Twitter), so I don't know what's going on thereâlike, c'mooooooon!! It's so meme-able!
I mean:
ARE YOU GETTING ME?đ
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