#thats half the joke

[aizawas-upper-left-wisdom-tooth]

Posting this because adds don't have a comment section...

^^^ keep these in the fridge to confuse people.

[choccy-milky]

herbology class 🌹🌿 (from chap 2 of my fic!)

[kittysauce]

i literally hate her ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[skrs-cats]

wanted to draw somethin like this for a long time now

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[non-plutonian-druid]

[ID: a doodle of old, Commission-era Five lounging in a bathtub with cucumbers over his eyes and a glass of wine in one hand and a bottle in the other. He has several scars, including one that starts at his collarbones and goes all the way down his torso. End ID.]

i missed old five this season so bad. where was he!!! Where was my old man!!! I took it upon myself to answer with "in the bath, chilling" because he deserves it. old five people, you're welcome

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

Kidnapper: I have your son

Nico, panicking: You have the Cocoa Puffs?!

Kidnapper: What- no- it's this weird guy who keeps making 'hades nuts' jokes

Nico, wiping sweat from his face : Oh phew, it's just Leo

Nico: You can keep him

Nico: PLEASE keep him

[manyothermusingsofmine]

Someone: people either like Astarion because he's a vampire or because they want to fix him Me: Secret third option here; he says what my retail-worn soul is often thinking.

[foolsocracy]

I can't help but notice you haven't posted any angst in a while and I'm suspicious

whipped this one up just for u anon

[aropride]

i like when something really bad happens politically and all my left leaning friends start sharing stuff about community building so i get to ask for rides places and they have to say yes or theyre failing the good leftist test

[hideousvampire]

another scene redraw or whatever and then daniel with his fuckass snake

[ratatatastic]

"Is [Barkov] a normal dude? Meaning like—is he just like, you're having a cheeseburger some day and he's like 'Oh, no, no, no! I need this, I need the superfoods,' like is he kind-of... is he a normal guy?" "'Is that Wagyu or no?'" "'I need, you know, the best of the best,' Like how is he?" "He's undercover really funny, especially when you get to know him. I don't think he said much for the first 3 to 5 years. But I always joke with him I've never been invited to his house and we've played together for 10 years." "Dude, Brandon Montour said the same thing! We had him on last year! He's like, 'Dude, he's never had us over! We're always like—' But he doesn't live by all you guys, right? He kind-of lives a little further out?" "Yeah, he lives 20-30 minutes away in Boca [Raton.] But, yeah, no I—Listen, it's just his personality. It's who he is, and we respect him for it. Like I said, he's a really funny guy when you get to know him, and sometimes he's got those one-liners. And, you know, he's one of those perfect humans, right? You know, one of the guys we all strive to be, and we'll all come short forever, but—yeah, he's a good person."

The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)

i hope this bit never ends if not for the fact that each time ekky has to say it he has to add another year to it which adds to the comedy of it all

"Hey, who's got the best setup on your team with the Panthers? When all the boys get together, 'We're going to your crib. We're gettin' on the jet skis,' whatever. Who's got the best setup?" "Yeah, um—Aaron [Ekblad]'s probably...I mean, Aaron's been there the longest. Hopefully, Barkov hears this! He's been there the longest, but he never invites the boys over to his house!" "Oh~ Barky!" "Is he cheap?" "I'm gonna call Barky out right now, and see if he can invite the whole team over next year..." "Is he cheap? Is he cheap? What is it?" "Will he do it?" "Oh, he's up in 9 East—obviously, like quiet, unbelievable guy, but he's the only up in Boca [Raton.] So I don't know if anybody wants to even drive up to Boca..." "Oh, Fancyland Zone..." "What do you mean? How far is that away from where you are? Like, and everybody else?" "Yeah, we're all in Ft. Lauderdale, Las Olas—within probably... you know some families are in Parkland by the arena, but we're all within probably 10 minutes away and he's up 30, 40 minutes away so."

The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.25.23 (x)

the boys ribbing sasha for living so far away and never inviting them to his house but still going btw hes amazing and incredible and perfect and sososo good we say this to tease him but like this is just who he is as a person and we accept that so please dont misconstrue this into something its not this is a joke and we dont take it to heart

and on that topic its really a shame that NA media doesnt know how fucking funny and how absolutely unserious he can be. I understand the notion of diligent no-nonsense captain is a prevalent idea (which he is lets make that clear he takes hockey so seriously) but especially since this season hes said hes cut down on weight so he could skate faster (and the results show) so i understand where the questions are coming from knowing the track record but also

we've won a cup and hes ramped it up its fantastic and this is one of my favourite examples of it of how quippy he can be

happy to talk about my cappy!!! happy to tease my cappy!!!

"and you know hes one of those perfect humans right? you know one of the guys we all strive to be, and we'll all come short forever but yeah he's a good person" do you also cry about how terribly fond and sincere ekky gets about sasha

[fairyrona]

the heart motif

EPILEPSY WARNING !! this video has flashing lights!!!

A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes I screamed aloud as it tore through them And now it's left me blind Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine

[gurggggleburgle]

I'm proud to say I don't think Luo Binghe would like to eat his boyfriends pussy. He'll do it but bitch he's not here for that. For 1 Binghe is absolutely the kind of guy who wants to see the whole body come undone not just have Shen Yuan tug on his hair. 2 the man's favorite places to kiss are things like forehead, hands, cheeks, he's a foreplay from the waist up man.

He'd fingerblast to next year granted but Shizun asks for a kiss and a downstairs buffet he says yes but in his head he's thinking about how much he just wants to massage and bite that man's shoulders/chest and touch every part of his skin till they're the same person. He needs to use his hands and teeth simultaneously and not doing so is bad for his health. Man can't dine on pussy alone. Shizun let me fingerblast you from the front while taking you from behind while I cradle you in my arms and scream how you love me!!!!! Shizun plssssssss!!!!

[spitblaze]

why the hell is christian music so devoid of lyricism. like i KNOW you guys can do better ive listened to sufjan stevens. ive heard that one jars of clay song. theres so much ground you could cover thematically and tonally and lyrically but like. it feels like a genuine oddity to find a song EXPLICITLY about christianity that sounds better than 'overproduced amateur who decided their first pass at the lyrics was good enough to sing to millions of people and also god'

[brandwhorestarscream]

How do you think skystar would work in TF1?

Easy: Starscream is Skyfire's sugar daddy

[mihotose]

every time i see a fanwork where half light tells harry to kill himself im just He would not fucking say that!!!!! half light is harry's paranoia, his fight or flight instinct, his self preservation. half light wants to protect harry, not kill him