#that's another very fine example
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blaithnne · 2 months ago
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If I may, how do you typically approach choosing colors in your art? It always has just a lovely feel to it, so I was a bit curious; don't feel pressured to answer ofc :]
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I’ve been using a lot of gradient maps lately, they work by switching the greys in your piece with a corresponding colour according to its value. Basically, I colour in black and white, grab a gradient map, and then I adjust the colours by hand until I’m happy with it. This isn’t the only kind of colouring I do, but it works great if you’re in a rush or you’re struggling to find a good starting point for your colours. I’ve been operating under a time crunch for these Sketchbook Week drawings and the Plenism promo stuff I made, so for all except one I used gradient maps. I’m actually in a bit of a funk with my colours right now soooo I’ll come back and do a proper colouring tutorial for my style once I’m happier with how my non gradient mapped colours are looking !
#after sketchbook weeks over I wanna sit and do some colour studies to find palettes I’m more happy with#even these gradient map ones I’m not thrilled with#they’re fine! but I could do better#in terms of other tricks I use I’ll often adjust the hues and saturations if the whole piece to give things more unity if I’m struggling#and/or add a new layer on top of everything and fill it with one base colour#and play around with different layer settings and opacities on top#I’ve found a luminosity layer on a low 5-10% setting is quite nice#basicslly I fuck around and find out#and if I’m in a rush I use a gradient map#they’re not neccesarily a quick fix! if you’re like me you’ll still want to do some tweaking after it’s been applied#and you need to pay attention to your values when you’re colouring in black and white#but that’s another good thing about gradient maps - they force you to focus on value over hue which is an important skill to build#so yeah I’ll come back to this and make an actual colouring tutorial once I feel like I have actual good advice to give#cause rn I’m just very meh in my colouring and I don’t think I have anything very helpful to add#need to find some tutorials myself first !#ty for the ask!#ask#art#my art#bpcol-reblogs#textpost#blethering#for this piece the adjustments were minimal in comparison to what I usually do btw#because I was rushinggggg lol#I did more for my Plenism posters n such#but I can’t really show good comparisons because I. didn’t save them like that#I usually smush all my layers together when I’m drawing sooo yeah makes it hard to go back my bad whoops#but I saved as I was going whilst drawing this so I could provide examples yipee!#if I’d been smarter and remembered more I could’ve had more process screenshots butttt oh well lmao
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daisyachain · 1 year ago
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There are works which are not [genre] but works made that have read a lot of [genre]. YJ is not an anime but it is a cartoon that has watched a lot of anime. MTMTE is not a comedy but it is a space opera that has watched a lot of sitcoms. I’d like to learn the term for a work that is deep in conversation with a genre without belonging to that genre even as a hybrid. Specifically works that address, lampshade, satirize, employ genre signposts without obeying genre conventions.
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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year ago
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oh, yeah, another thing i noticed that was odd about s5 in comparison to earlier seasons was how much they relied on like. not the history of the doctor, exactly, but the image of that history. whether from little easter eggs of the first doctor’s picture popping up everywhere to i think the two(?) times in the season we get a montage of past doctors. and i honestly can’t remember anything like that happening earlier (with the exception of the time crash short, which felt more substantial to me and was also like. 7 straight minutes of david tennant being allowed to fangirl.)
and i say ‘the image’ because hell knows the RTD era was pulling from doctor who past left, right, and center, but it rarely felt like a moment of ‘look at this old thing, you remember old thing? old thing was cool and so are we for continuing it.’ and more like ‘here’s a species/character/etc from classic who. and here’s how they’ve changed and fit into the new world we’ve built for the show.’
I guess, the difference here for me is that. i haven’t watched classic who. s5 shows me a slideshow of doctors and to me, those are the guys i once ranked by how sexy i think they are. and not much else. i don’t have an emotional connection to an image. but take, say, school reunion? an episode that was my favorite even back when i was a kid specifically because i adored sarah jane? i had no idea who she was then, i only just figured out a little bit ago which doctor she traveled with, and exclusively all i’ve watched of her is that episode in s2 and the sarah jane adventures. and yet, that episode, without the context there for me, managed to make sense to me. i’m sure it was probably even more impactful to fans of sarah jane from classic who, but it didn’t lose its impact without that knowledge.
so, that’s a shift. i don’t want to say it’s a negative one, exactly, because maybe people who have seen classic who like these references and i’m missing something. but, to me, it feels a little more shallow.
#sorry if i kept talking about sarah jane and school reunion we’d be here all day. her reintroduction to nuwho is phenomenal.#even without classic who. you get it. you get what the doctor did to her. you understand how much it hurt her. by giving her time with rose#we’re able to use what we know about rose to parallel her with sarah jane and infer that sarah jane was a lot like her once. it’s good!#and seeing pictures of the first doctor is like. very funny because he’s a silly little guy. but i don’t know that man.#but yeah. another example i’d put out there is Dalek. and yes everyone loves dalek we all know its good. but. without the context of classic#who. this was the choice of how to reintroduce the daleks to the audience. not as silly tin can killing machine. but as this. this wretched#and pitiable thing that dies to see the sunlight. this monster that is. in its last moments. capable of change. however small.#(a theme that i think links up well to evolution of the daleks in s3. i think its interesting how we’re invited to see the daleks first as#beings that have had a great and terrible injustice done to them. (in episode: the dalek being chained up and tortured. in a wider context:#how daleks are made at all.) before we’re introduced to them as a galaxy-wide threat intent on inflicting that same suffering on the rest of#the universe.)#MY POINT IS: nuwho and classic who mix well when the classic who elements are reintroduced in a way that makes sense both for people with#the back knowledge of classic who (and maybe they get even more out of it) while ALSO makign sense to people who’ve only seen nuwho.#anyway. this is a small thing its far from like. a show-ruining point. its literally fine lol.#doctor who#dw lb
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fellhellion · 1 year ago
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Having to grapple w the experience of a piece of art being deeply personal and healing for you vs it either not providing that for someone else or being something that’s triggering instead, being able to accept that neither one of you is in the “wrong” for feeling as you do? one of the most valuable experiences ever imo
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myimaginationplain · 3 months ago
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au where Aerys & Rhaella secretly marry Lyarra & Rickard in a bid for each couple to escape their mutually unwanted arranged marriages
#when it comes to canon it's likely that rickard & lyarra were actually a love match but it's my au & I can do what I want with it#here I don't imagine either rickard or lyarra necessarily *hating* the thought of marrying one another. they're fine with it mostly.#but that's all they are. just fine with it. comfortable in the inevitable predictability that will be their marriage#but when the crown prince & princess of the seven kingdoms practically serve themselves up in their desperation? oh everything changes#we know that canon rickard had southern aspirations so he would absolutely jump at the chance to marry the king's one & only daughter#& we know basically nothing about lyarra but I like to imagine her being a non or less tomboyish lyanna.#so very spirited & very desperate for a life beyond the one set out for her. and she'd be queen! queen!#so yeah. they all throw caution to the wind & get married in a secret double ceremony. they reveal themselves to court the morning after#maybe this all is even happening not long before aerys & rhaella are meant to get married? when else would the starks be at court after all#aerys ii is of course very very pissed. the rest of the royal family is kind of into it though.#after all this is the era where practically every targaryen was shirking expectation to make the matches they wanted to.#aerys & rhaella are just following by example#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#aerys targaryen#aerys iii targaryen#rhaella targaryen#rickard stark#lyarra stark#au
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puhpandas · 4 months ago
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Opinion on the TalesGames theory?
I think it's becoming increasingly clear that it's probably just all canon because of sotm being (at least right now with the current info we have) true to the books so like. I wasnt a big fan before of things outside of stuff like ggy where it's just very clearly about something in the games, but with how intertwined the mimic is with just normal tftp books I think it's safe to say its pretty much confirmed now lmao
#i think thats its fine but also planned out very weirdly#having story locked behind paywalls and 20k words isnt a good thing#but also theyre very clearly explaining book stuff in the games so its not mandatory to read them#its just timed very weird with how they reveal all the story in the books and THEN make a game#so its just like. boring#you know about something months/years before its gonna be in a game then its just a recount if ur super involved with the story#like ggy for example#it clearly was always meant to be canon from the beginning but now the book#is definitely going to be 2+ years old at least before getting touched on in the games#its just timed very strangely#if they released books after the game stuff itd be different#instead of the game referencing way less content of a book that was more full and detailed#the book would instead touch on the game stuff and then some adding more details and fleshing it out#like for example if ggy had had its own game and then the book had come out#it would mean exploring more eras of ggy existing and hammering in his cunningness and characterization a lot more#so itd be enhancing stuff instead of making a game that has less content based off of a book that came out a yeat ago#yknow#i definitely think that the stuff with SB is still affecting this scheduling stuff tho and how things have turned out#its just another thing u know is probably supposed to be better and more polisjed and was supposed to ve#but it ended up not being#on one hand personally this means tony becker is canon which yay#pandas.txt#pandas asks#thoughts#discourse
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poebrey · 2 years ago
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gonna write a whole thing someday about how characters of color who clearly have a history of trauma or mental health issues aren’t given consideration or acknowledgement in the fandom imagination
#this is first and foremost about yennefer being canonically suicidal and it being never brought up in fandom#but people can talk about how they think she’s a bitch just fine like we’re all stuck in 2005#but also applies to like just about every character of color who has a prominent role in sci/fi fantasy genre space#because they sure get made to suffer a lot by these writers but in the white imagination that’s not noteworthy at all?#but also Scott McCall#who deadass attempted suicide on screen in one ep?#suicide tw#which I have moved on from teen wolf but it for very obvious reasons another great example#or Michael Burnham who canonically had a fucked up childhood that gave her a lifelong martyr complex#but if you ask who clearly has ptsd on the show it’s not her because it needs to get spelled out even though she is the main character?#Or even Culber; they bonded once over how they both died!#but we don’t do that with white boy side characters 5-7#they try to hate crime someone on screen and people are making shit up to justify before whatever media it is finishes airing#we talk about diversity in media#but one of the catch 22s is that more diverse media tends to be genre media#because that’s allowed to push boundaries#but as a fan of color you have to mentally prepare yourself for witnessing trauma every time#meanwhile the silly no stakes fun shows get majority white or entirely white casts every time#so you get this fun thing where if you’re white and want a fun escape you get a buffet of laughs#and if you’re a person of color at best you *dont* get to see yourself die on screen#anyways this has been a middle of the night that no one should be taking seriously#*rant#gotta make sure everything referencing tw isn’t in the first 5 tags or I might wake up to a whole essay crying in the inbox
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bluebellhairpin · 5 months ago
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TELL ME ABOUT THE CURSE!!
Okay so basically the idea of The Curse is to explain why the Strongs are a "extinct" house during Game of Thrones. It's my way of filing in gaps so I can continue my personal delulu train lol.
So during the Dance of Dragons, all of House Strong were wiped out. (Which I won't explain bc spoilers.) But I'm already fucking with the timeline by keeping Harwin alive, so like as "payment" for that, and having all his family live after the war (himself, wife, their children), a curse is placed on their family for the rest of time.
Only one person in each generation will live to produce more children. This severely restricts the amount of living members of House Strong - so generations pass with only one whose named Strong surviving each time. They end up getting lost to time. And they learn as time passes that if they have more than one child, they'll all die until there's only one left.
Their curse is that they will keep existing, but the cost is that they will be alone.
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skitskatdacat63 · 2 years ago
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This being Wikipedia's picture of Jenson for the 2009 season is insane, every time I open the page, I'm like "my god Jenson please, put your tits away 🫣" ALSO ALSO IM CRYING, I checked the pic's descrip and it's literally: "A very fit Jense", so true!!!
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lightblueminecraftorchid · 2 years ago
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*giggling and twirling my hair and sighing like I have a crush*
Welchia… she’s so… beautiful…
I wanna run her on a Blaster-infected PC and watch her work…
#this is not about a girl this is about a COMPUTER VIRUS#specifically a nematode#which is a virus that attempts to do good and remove another virus#Welchia is an example of a nematode which was potentially more damaging than the virus it was trying to protect users against#namely that it was very widespread and infected BOTH the ACTUAL US NAVY and the ACTUAL US STATE DEPARTMENT#causing significant delays for both government entities#but it did uninstall the blaster virus and patch the vulnerability blaster exploited!#anyway#Welchia won’t infect you unless you have like. the worst luck imaginable. idk if it’s even still considered active since it’s been so long#even at the time Blaster and Welchia were active; most systems which were even infectable were using OS that were out of date#or went unpatched. simply because attempting to update them could break the programs that the computers were primarily using#for example: my local dentist office has an X-RAY program that clearly wasn’t designed for Windows 11#the most recent OS they use to run it is windows 7#even now plenty of restaurants use special embedded formats of windows XP for their point of sale systems even though they’re out of date#because updating them would be hellish and would put the point of sale out of commission for a while#government systems which have specialized programs which are the sole thing the computers are used for would have no incentive to update#because they have to run 24/7/365 and any delay or outage (say by an update to a new OS) could put them seriously behind#any system which cannot pause long enough to be updated or would potentially seriously lose usefulness if it was updated is extra vulnerable#so like. your Windows 11 computer is fine. especially since Welchia has an auto-kill switch when the date changes to 2004#but at the time it was destructive simply because installing the security patches and interrupting programs/restarting to do so was bad#for computers which needed to never stop working#namely: the things that society quickly crumbles without#luckily Welchia didn’t disrupt the way Wannacry did
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arolesbianism · 12 days ago
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Guess who's thinking abt eg au again
#rat rambles#stars posting#eternal gales#so! if you dont know abt the human kids functions (which is incredibly likely) then long story short the whole basis of the story is that#each of them are tied to a functionality of their universe and as such when the universe is under threat theyre all brought to its core as#a sort of defense mechanism ok cool got it? got it.#anyways the party all have their functions albiet not all the ones that the human kids have because theresss not enough of them#also I gave sif one that does not exist in eternal gales proper but thats necessary for the time loop thing to work#but yeah bonnie is tied to the managment and creation of physical matter and the other 3 are all tied to various aspects of data storage#this is mostly used in story as like puzzle solving tools since unlike the canon eg kids they are actually doing shit and have a goal#mira is basically translatong external data into smth that the universe systems can understand#isa is the transferral of data from one part of the system to another#and odile is a mix of the data storage itself and the translation of it into smth more comprehendable by outsiders#she has to be a mush of two existing ones since again not enough characters to fill all of them#but this is relevant because that means that while the party still don't remember the loops at all they do have the tools to tell smth is#up asside from just siffrin acting weird#not enough to like fully figure it out tho since even odile can't just like. google search find the answers to things.#its just that as the loops keep trucking the data storage of course shifts and changes in ways that are noticable#like data storage in certain areas being like. weirdly packed and formatted for example#and due to their inherent tie to said data storage they can also to a very very small degree kind of feel the time that has passed#not in a major way. but like in a 'hm. something feels Weird.' kind of way#bonnie doesn't rly have this tho since physical matter is like The thing that is reset every loop#but yeah think of it more like having a billion tabs open and opening a new one and being able to hear your computer cry#except you dont know abt the previous tabs and as such its very concerning that shit is chugging so bad when as far as you know#yesterday it was running perfectly fine#it Can be excused as an oddity from getting close to the king but its still extremely sudden and jarring#especially combined with the other oddities of the timeloop tumbler#of course odile feels it the hardest which combined with her being odile means she's the first to rly look into it much#but isa also feels it pretty damn hard anytime hes doing his thing because god damn is it a nightmare to work through all that shit#mira feels it less but does still get that experience of interacting with the data systems and having it freak out on her a bit
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weaselle · 7 months ago
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i had to make a solution for this for myself, mostly because of depression, but it makes a nice How To for folks who are low on spoons or could use some help in the kitchen.
Fortunately i was a professional cook for over a decade. UNfortunately the first post i made explaining it was suuuuper long. Let's see if i can do better
So you select any protein that you can cook in a frying pan -- chicken breasts, ground beef, pork chops, sausages, steak, chicken thighs, whatever. You also select one or two types of veggie (mushrooms or tubers also work, i just did this with potatoes and carrots for dinner tonight).
[i like cooking for vegetarians, but this is how i cook for myself when i'm low on spoons - perhaps i'll do another post for meatless meals]
You'll also need some kind of oil, and a sauce or two of your choice in a bottle. All cooking gear is a large frying pan with lid (i prefer non-stick) a spatula, a cutting board, and a knife.
You cut the veggies into bite size pieces, cut up enough for two meals. One kind of veggie is fine, or you can do mix two or three
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Put frying pan on medium heat with a little oil. Tubers or mushrooms or go in the pan a few minutes before the protein. 2 portions of the protein goes in the pan, about 5 minutes with lid (don't worry you can still get a good sear on both sides)
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Now flip your protein if it's flip-able and add normal veggies, put the lid back on another five-ish minutes.
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Take your protein out and put it with one portion of the veggies in a microwave safe container. That's going to be your lunch tomorrow. Put the other portion of protein on a plate to rest (you have to let a cooked protein sit a couple minutes before you serve it or when you cut into it all the juices run out and it goes dry - the liquids thicken as it cools, preventing this drying out if you let it rest, the goal is to serve it very warm but not hot hot)
While it's resting, pour some sauce from your bottle in the pan with the rest of the veggies and turn up the heat. A single sauce/bottle is fine, i like to get fancy and mix a couple. Two examples of personal favorite mixes are 1: bbq sauce and a hot sauce like sriracha 2: roughly equal parts low sodium soy sauce and worcestershire (makes something similar to a teriyaki sauce) A swallow of wine is almost always a great option if you want to add that to your sauce too, just add it to the pan before the other sauces so the alcohol has time to burn off.
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Here is the important bit. While your veggies are finishing, wash your cutting board and chef knife. Then when you dump your veggies and sauce over your protein on the plate, while it is still too hot to eat, you wash your frying pan and spatula before you eat. Now the only dishes you have left to do are your plate and fork. Maybe a steak knife.
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The whole thing takes about 35 minutes even with washing the dishes, and that includes your lunch for the next day- just pour a different sauce on and stick it in the microwave for a couple minutes (or five minutes back in the frying pan) and you have a full healthy lunch with a different flavor
You can use this technique every single meal and it yields hundreds of combinations, from pork and potatoes bbq, to salmon and broccoli teriyaki, to chicken and zucchini in a soy glaze.
It will keep you down to less than an hour of kitchen time per day total for both lunch and dinner including all dish clean up, uses the least dishes, the least effort, requires the least technique, and is, depending on what you pick out, very affordable
here are a couple more examples from this month; i didn’t take pictures of the salmon i did recently, but you get the idea
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it's not super fancy, but it is easy, affordable, quick, and any flavors you want. Hope this helps some folks
Happy Cooking!
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littlefankingdom · 3 months ago
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Bruce is a overprotective and kind of strict parent, but he is very lax in some domains where other parents wouldn't. Here are some examples:
His kids stealing money from him. You will never catch Bruce Wayne lecturing his kids for taking his money. In the Arkhamverse, Jason steals 5 millions from Bruce's bank account to buy his army, and the problems for Bruce are: he didn't know it was Jason so it stressed him a bit, and Jason used it to buy an army.
Stealing from him in general. What is his is theirs. Unless it's dangerous. (Cars are death machines for his anxious self, which is why buying another batmobile for the young justice is not acceptable, or is kids taking it for a ride. He did made Redbird for Tim as a gift for when he got his license.)
Stealing from the cops (he has done it himself so many times)
Stealing money from rich people. In Knightfall, Bruce meets a British vigilante named Hood who steals from the rich to give to the poor, and Bruce had NO problems with that. He likes the young man. Stealing possessions is an issue tho. (Dick should follow his Robin Hood's dream, his father is fine with that)
Hacking into government facilities or anything really. Unless it's to harm an innocent civilian, like a classmate, he will not say anything. Hacking the FBI? Good. Hacking a russian mafia? Ok. As long as they do it safely and follow Barbara's instructions, it's fine.
Lying to him. Bruce is always impressed when he realizes one of his kids lied to him and he believed them. He's the Batman, after all, they have been able to fool the Batman. When he learns that Tim invented a fake uncle, he is proud of him and he tells him such, because he made the Batman believed it.
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dunmesh · 7 months ago
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okay i don't have anything smart to add i just genuinely love that these seemingly trivial jokes are actually an important part of his character. we see it throughout the entire manga, how he pushes aside his own frustration and discomfort to accommodate everyone else's and avoid needless confrontation- another example off the top of my head would be the barometz chapter in which he slowly gets frustrated with izutsumi but still tries his best to talk some sense into her calmly and soundly.
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and in contrast, there are very few times he expresses his anger and hurt towards others, and it usually takes a lot for him to finally lose his patience and control.
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i mean, even with kabru he tried to be polite despite the circumstances until the guy said the one thing that triggers an immense sense of shame, hurt and rage in laios. and you know, the manga does say it quite clearly early on. when we are introduced to namari and then to shuro, laios acts all friendly and shows his respect and trust in them despite how things ended between them, and everyone else gets frustrated with him for acting so strange- why are you the one who tries so hard to pacify the rest when you should be the angriest?
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and they don't understand him. they don't know him well enough to be able to understand, but we as readers get to see during the manga that they aren't wrong to question him- he does, in fact, feel all those ugly emotions. and it's when the winged lion finally confronts him that we see to what extent these feelings he buried so deep go, and suddenly all those funny little moments where he sometimes pretends to be mr nice guy speak volumes about his character. honestly, ryoko kui is a master at using jokes in order to define important character traits and this one doesn't fail to amaze me.
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and laios's hatred and rage and deep scars he can't get over aren't shown explicitly during most of these moments i mentioned before, but now you realize there are 26 years of emotional baggage to all of them and they sting. he is angry but he can't say shit, what difference would it make? it won't make his friends choose him instead of themselves when he needed them most, and it won't help his party get any farther. of course, this logic doesn't apply to them- they are absolutely allowed to get angry and it's fine to get mad at him, he can take that.
so after finishing the series it's so clear that he tries his best to avoid clashing with others not just due to the current circumstances and him needing to be a reliable leader but also because he knows that people don't even like him when he tries to show his good sides and hide all the rest, so who the hell would tolerate his rage and despair? who would stay after realizing that he is so deeply flawed he doesn't even like his own being?
but he does get mad. he can't help it, and sometimes it gets out of control and now everyone knows. and it's funny, isn't it? that most of those moments ended up bringing him closer to others. shuro admitting he is envy of him and actually becoming the friend laios thought he was all along, fighting for his sake and waiting for him to come back- believing in him even after he turned into a monster and searching for him the way he couldn't bring himself to do for falin when he learned of what became of her- or kabru being pushed to just let it all out because he couldn't bluff his way out of this one and get to laios any other way, so now they are even. they are both horribly honest with each other and they both choose to stay. a weird way of getting to know each other, but it is what it is.
it's simply... the more laios let himself just be, the deeper his relationships grew. and there's intimacy in being your ugly, weak and furious self around someone and them not leaving you. feeling safe enough to let it be known you are hurt and angry. and he knows that now, too.
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kirkypet · 2 years ago
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Hello Mr. Gaiman, I was just wondering if there is a full version out there of you reading Coraline and if I've somehow missed it? Also, how do you decide what books not penned by you to narrate? I imagine a lot of people must ask you to narrate their books.
There is a version of Coraline narrated entirely by me, and there is a full cast Coraline. (There's also a wonderful version narrated by Dawn French.)
They do. Most of them I say no to. Some of them, like the Audible full cast Sandman, I feel I have to do. Other times someone sends me something and I think "that might be fun". So far this year I agreed to be in one really delightful drama as the narrator, and I've recorded a part in an animated film and in a live action film (as a possibly imaginary mongoose).
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duncebento · 6 months ago
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agh i know it can be rally difficult but especially if you are a marginalized person especially if you are a woman ESPECIALLY if you are trans please make sure that you’re not signaling insecurity to ppl via your dating app profiles or what have you. it can literally be a matter of your own physical safety.
as an example, i often see trans girls on hinge liable to put something like “i’ll fall for you if you show me any affection at all <3” on their profiles…and i know u just think it sounds quirkily self-deprecating and i KNOW that’s the way you really and truly feel but if i am someone who whether consciously or not is searching for a dynamic in which i have power over another person, a statement like that will make my ears perk up!!
furthermore, and especially for younger people, there are a lot of things that are very necessary to discuss with a partner that are ALSO very necessary to not reveal for a little while. if you have been abused in a certain way or if you are inexperienced, those are things that are unsafe to talk about with people you don’t know, no matter how honest and upfront you pride yourself on being. i’ve had someone tell me about all the sexual assault they’d experienced on a first date— and luckily for them i wasn’t interested in harming them or really into them at all— but again, imagine if i were someone who wanted power over another person! all their truthfulness and vulnerability would do is reveal them as an easy mark for my manipulation.
if you do encounter a critical situation with someone you haven’t spent enough time with yet, it should always be possible to say what instead of why: e.g. “i’m sorry, but i’d like to wait before having sex with you” or “i’d rather not hang out in that park, can we pick somewhere else?” instead of “i’d like to hold off on having sex BECAUSE i’ve never had sex before” or “i’d rather not hang out in that park BECAUSE that’s where i was assaulted.” again, both very important things to talk about with a partner, but unfortunately potentially dangerous things to discuss with someone you’ve not yet gotten close to! and anyone who seems to be sniffing around for signs of your inexperience or victimhood is not to be trusted anyway (note that sniffing around is different from a polite “oh, would you like to talk about it?” interest.)
i know it can be difficult to come across as more confident than you feel, but it is really necessary that you’re projecting a desire for something healthy and safe that will make you happy instead of saying outright that you’ll be fine with crumbs.
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