#that’s why people don’t create anymore
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𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 | rafe cameron × fem!reader
summary | you confront your former friend, rafe, at a party about his arrogant behavior and how he’s lost the person he used to be. despite his resistance, you see a hint of vulnerability, and you offer him a chance to change
warnings | strong language, emotional confrontation, themes of arrogance and vulnerability, personal growth
word count | 1.8 k
author's note | it would help me a lot if you liked, commented and reposted so that more people read what I write and don't forget to follow me, thanks ᡣ𐭩
The party is in full swing. The lights flicker above the crowd, creating an atmosphere that feels more like a spectacle than a celebration. And you, though you try to enjoy yourself, can only think of one thing: Rafe. The guy who used to be your friend, the one you shared laughs, secrets, and endless afternoons talking about everything and nothing at the same time.
But today, he's a different person. Today, he's surrounded by his entourage, with that arrogant attitude that doesn't even surprise you, but definitely annoys you. You've been warned, of course. Rafe has changed. And not in a way that you like.
You watch him from the corner of the room. He’s in his element, chatting with everyone, bragging about his conquests, his exaggerated stories. His friends worship him, follow him, laugh at his jokes. But you’re not fooled. You know that underneath all of that, there’s a guy who used to be different. The Rafe you knew was impulsive, sure, but also loyal and genuine. Now he seems to be covered by a layer of arrogance that he can’t even hide.
A moment later, your eyes meet his. The connection is brief, as it always was. But this time it’s different. There’s something in the way he looks at you, something that tells you he’s not the same guy anymore. Rafe’s look is no longer that of a friend. It’s that of a stranger.
It’s hard to let it go, but you force yourself to. You don’t want to confront him, not here, not now. However, as you make your way to the bar, he appears beside you, as if he were looking for you. He smiles, but that smile doesn't have the warmth it used to have. It’s arrogant, the same one he wears when he feels in control. And you know that what’s coming next won’t be just a simple hello.
“Hey, princess,” his voice is dripping with sarcasm. He doesn’t even bother to hide it.
You look at him, but you can’t help but feel that there’s something else in his words. Something that makes you uncomfortable. “Don’t call me that,” you respond, letting the tone of your voice be firm. “What are you looking for, Rafe? Why do you act like you're the center of the universe?”
He laughs, but it’s an empty laugh, as if he's trying to convince himself of something. “Come on, seriously? Don’t you see what’s going on here? I’m the guy everyone wants to know. You can’t deny it.”
“I’m not denying it,” you reply, raising an eyebrow. “But that doesn’t make you the king of anything. It just makes you an idiot. You’re surrounded by people who worship you, but you have no idea who you really are. You’re not the person you were a year ago.”
Rafe doesn’t seem to expect those words. He stops for a second, looking at you. But no, he’s not surprised. He’s pissed off. As always, he responds to criticism with a shield of indifference. “What do you know about me?” he asks, raising an eyebrow, the typical challenging look he used to give when something bothered him.
And in that moment, you remember that Rafe you knew, the one who didn’t need to show his power to be respected. The guy who used to share secrets with you, who used to listen to your stories and share his without needing to impress anyone. But that guy seems to be gone. And all that's left now is a grown-up kid with too much pride and too much fear of being vulnerable.
“I know you because I knew you,” you reply, looking him straight in the eye. “I know what you were before all this. What you were when you didn’t have to act like you were better than everyone else. Do you really think all of this makes you more interesting? More happy?”
Rafe steps toward you, and the air between you thickens instantly. The noise of the party seems to fade as you realize the words you’ve just spoken have hit a sensitive spot. For a moment, he stops being the arrogant guy. He’s just staring at you, as if he's remembering something he’s tried to bury.
“Don’t talk to me like that,” he says, his tone lower, but filled with a subtle venom. “You don’t know what I’ve had to do to get here. You don’t know anything about what’s happened. So don’t start giving me lectures on who I am, understood?”
And that’s when you understand. It’s no longer just arrogance. It’s not just pride. It’s fear. The fear you have when you realize you’re no longer who you used to be, and you don’t know how to go back.
“I’m not giving you lectures, Rafe,” you say, not looking away. “I’m just telling you the truth. We don’t need you like this. We don’t need a guy who hides behind his ego, or someone who needs to be the center of everything to feel good about themselves. We need the Rafe from before. The one who was real, not the one who’s trying to be someone else.”
Rafe seems to freeze for a second, as if those words have reached him deep down. His anger in his eyes subsides, but it doesn’t go away. “I’m not that guy,” he mutters, his words a broken whisper that surprises you.
“You are, Rafe,” you reply, but your voice is softer now. “You just don’t want to admit it. You’re afraid to be him. You’re afraid no one will accept you for who you really are. But you don’t have to keep up this act. You just need to stop pretending and be yourself.”
A long silence follows. He looks at you, his eyes devoid of the rage he had shown before. You’re about to say something else, but Rafe steps back and sighs.
“Maybe you’re right,” he says, in a voice quieter and less certain than you’ve ever heard. “Maybe it’s just that... I’ve lost my way. I don’t know how to find my way back.”
At that moment, you know that, although he won’t admit it, something has changed in him. Maybe not everything, but at least a small part of his pride, that layer he used to cover himself with. And although his facade is still there, you can see a crack. The spark of the person he used to be.
“You don’t have to do it alone,” you say, sincerely. “You just need to want to change. And I... I’m still here, if you need me. But I can’t stay if you keep being this version of yourself.”
Rafe doesn’t respond immediately, just staring at you, as if trying to process everything you just said. Finally, his face softens a little, though the shadow of his arrogance is still present.
“Maybe one day I’ll get it,” he murmurs, before turning to walk toward the crowd. “But today’s not that day.”
And even though you wish it were, you understand that change doesn’t happen overnight. Rafe is lost, but maybe, just maybe, this conversation was the first step to finding his way back. And for now, that’s enough.
#rafe x reader#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#outer banks x fem reader#outer banks x reader#rafe cameron x reader
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How are you?
Please, can you write Wife reader taking care of burnt Nanami that sometimes still has his burn injury uncomfortable even if it kind of healed from the incident (he didn't die, never happened) with cream and kisses and then they go to a date at night together. Enjoying eachother company! 💖
I guess Nanami still sometimes has insecurities resurface, but reader always reassures him and he does believe her. Forgetting them most of the time.
-Selenophile 🌙🌌✨
Sometimes, when Nanami was lost in thought or let his guard down for a moment, he forgot what he looked like now.
In his mind he pictured a man who was relatively handsome. Stern features. Strong jaw. Western appearance and hazel eyes. This was the man he thought he was in his mind. The image of himself. It wasn’t until he walked in front of a mirror or stepped out of the shower like now, that he remembered he wasn’t that man anymore.
“Nanami? Is everything ok?”
He heard his partner come into the bathroom, glancing at them out of his good, remaining eye, before looking back at the sink. “Yes, I’m fine.” He turned off the water. Not quite sure what he had been doing with it on; maybe planning to brush his teeth, but what was the point.
“Ok…well, let me get your ointment on and we can head to bed.” [Y/N] told him.
“I don’t want to.” Shoko had created it for him specifically. To help with the lingering pain at night and help with some of the scaring. But he would never be back to the way he was. The scars would always be there. His eye would still be gone. None of it mattered.
“Come on. Don’t be like that. You say that now but in the middle of the night you won’t be able to sleep. Let me help you.”
“I said I’m fine!” Nanami snapped at them. Bristling at being taken care of. That he had to be taken care of now. He had worked so hard to be independent, get away from this stupid world of sorcery, and to be his best self. Now he was reduced to an invalid that needed his partner to rub cream on him like an old man or a baby. It was humiliating.
Nanami lifted his arm when he spoke. To bat them away or keep them at bay he wasn’t sure. What he did know was that it hurt, as lifting his arm higher than his shoulder on his damaged side right now was not ideal.
[Y/N] winced in tandem with his pain. Holding up their hands passively as Nanami went to sit on the toilet and hang his head in shame. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” Nanami said at first as he stared at the tile. Eventually, however, he opened up. “Everything is different.”
“Hmm…I suppose that’s true.” [Y/N] agreed. Taking this moment of reflection & distraction to grab the ointment and apply it to his shoulder. “But I wouldn’t say everything is different. You’re still Nanami. You’re still you.”
“I can barely lift my arm over my head.”
“And a month ago you could barely walk.” [Y/N] reminded him.
After the incident, Nanami had been put in intensive care at the school for a long time. Monitored. Tube fed. Surgeries he wasn’t even aware of in his unconscious state to try and undo and stabilize some of the damage Jogo & Mahito had done to him. He had to relearn almost everything. Get his stump of a left hand to be somewhat of a semblance of a limb. Learn how to walk again with the damage done to his leg by the transfiguration. Regain some depth perception with one eye. It had been hard, grueling work, and some days Nanami thought it wasn’t worth all the fuss. Yet, he seemed too stubborn to die still.
“Things will continue to get better. We just have to keep working on them and do what Shoko says for your recovery.”
“You don’t mind being partnered with a monster.” Nanami asked as he glanced up at [Y/N], who frowned at him.
“Do you really think me that shallow?” They asked. Closing the ointment and putting it away. Finished now, between all this introspection. “You’re looks didn’t even break the top 10 on why I’m with you, Nanami. I love your determination. I love how you want to help people, even though you deny it. I love how funny you are. And most of all, I love you. Honestly, I didn’t think you were so vain until now. Maybe I need to reassess my priorities.” Nanami chuckled. Realizing they were joking and wrapped his arms around their waist.
“I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this without you.”
[Y/N] wrapped their arms around his neck and kissed the top of his head. “Yes, you would have. But I’m glad I could help.” Nanami tilted his head up and gave [Y/N] a full kiss. “Would you like to go to bed now?” He nodded, and went to go change out of his towel.
He knew his path to full recovery was going to be hard. That is was going to be a long process for him to be his new self. But as he laid in bed next to [Y/N], Nanami knew he could do it. Because he wouldn’t have to do it alone.
#;ask and ye shall receive (request answers)#nanami kento#nanami x reader#jujutsu nanami#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen scenarios#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jjk scenarios#jjk imagines#jjk nanami#nanami kento x reader#scenarios#imagine#kento nanami#jjk smut#nanami kento smut#nanami kento x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jjk nanami kento#tw: injury#tw: mentions of injury and recovery
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Another tiny nighttime headcanon, this time about the origin of the name Kohga! Now, there’s been plenty of other people explaining on Tumblr and elsewhere that the names “Kohga” and “Yiga/Iga” were inspired by real world Japanese ninja clans/the regions where they lived. That’s the very cool Doylist explanation. This post isn’t about that, it’s for a Watsonian explanation, in my own lil’ AoC-timeline ‘verse, as always.
The original Master Kohga, as I’ve said before, was the Chief of the major Sheikah settlements around Satori Mountain at the time of the ancient King’s betrayal. His full name—because as we know from the monks in BotW the Sheikah had family names 10,000 years ago—was Mogg Kohga.*
So where did that name come from? Welllllll…. I have seen some internet sources saying that IRL the name “Kohga” means “old river.” I don’t know how true that actually is on Earth (I’d welcome confirmation or disproving), buuuut…
I headcanon that the river that flows near Satori Mountain, that separates its environs from Central Hyrule, was once called the Kohga River. And much like a human on Earth might be named Jordan, Mogg Kohga was named for that river.
I also headcanon that the river’s path once ran closer to the Mountain, through the area now called Nima Plain,** but that at some point in the intervening 10,000 years it changed course, leaving that area a wider, low, grassy plain and, to the south, Dalite Forest. (It also flooded the very old Sage Temple area and created the moat around the Colosseum that was built much later.) But at the time Mogg Kohga lived, the river he was named for was quite a boon to the Sheikah living on and near Satori Mountain.
And now it’s called the Regencia River. Three guesses why. …okay if you said “because the ancient Hylian monarchy wanted to wipe the Sheikah and their culture off the map (literally) and ‘Kohga’ is a distinctly Sheikah name while ‘Regencia’ sounds Hylian and noble,” you win the prize of me saying, “you are smart and know how imperialism works!”
Any-wayyyyy…. Every Master of the Yiga Clan since then has taken on the name Kohga when they ascend to the position. 1) In honor of the first Master, 2) so they can do a kinda “from the ashes of one comes the next” thing, and 3) as an up-yours to the Hylian Royal Family that changed the name of the river. THE Kohga might be all but erased, but A Kohga will always exist in the shadows…
Added super bonus headcanon! I said in my tags on this post that this obviously means every Master Kohga once had a name that was NOT Kohga. Well! Once each successive Master ascends…. That original name just kind of goes away, other than in prior records. Nobody is supposed to—allowed to, really—address the Master by their former name. Of course plenty of people will know the old name, that goes without saying. Everyone in the Clan at the time of the ascension who’s old enough to understand what names are, don’t be silly! But it’s kind of like a culturally-enforced deadname. If someone calls a Master Kohga by their before-name, they’ve got to ignore it or correct that person, etc. You can’t call them by it behind their back, either. Doing so is considered really rude, taboo even. That’s not their name anymore.
So now for juuuust a little thing to think about. :)
Imagine you’re the Heir, and the unthinkable—or at least, something you’ve never really wanted to think about—has just happened. Your father, Master Kohga, is dead. He wasn’t even old! He was cut down, murdered, in his prime, only seventy-five! And you? You’re just twenty-five, and sure you’re big and strong and know all this powerful magic…you’ve been trained practically from birth to one day take over the Clan…. You’re capable, you think. You’ve got to be. But…it wasn’t supposed to happen yet. For decades, even. Not like this. Not like this.
But you pass the tests, and you ascend, and…Master Kohga is your name.
You liked your before-name. Loved it, even. Your Mama chose it, and she’s been…off, lately, weak for no reason anyone can tell…. And now not even she is allowed to call you by your…shoot, do you have to stop thinking of it as your “real” name too? Really? Nobody can use it anymore. Or any of your old nicknames, either. Your friends, your now-former mentors, people who’ve known you all your life. Nobody.
You liked being [Redacted].
You can’t be [Redacted].
You are Master Kohga.
~~~
*Family names apparently went first in ancient Sheikah custom. I assume this is so based on the two Dueling Peaks monks being canonically twin brothers: Shee Venath and Shee Vaneer. There is also a group of three monks with the family name Shae: Loya, Mo’sah, and Kenath. Aaaand there’s Dah Hasho and Dah Kaso, Kah Yah and Kah Okeo, Kema Kosassa and Kema Zoos, Maag No’rah and Maag Halan, Shai Utoh and Shai Yota…yeah. Guess being high-ranking martial artists and technicians and devout Hylia followers may have run in families!
**Interestingly, “Nima” is the given name of Monk Tutsuwa Nima, who gives Link a test of strength at his shrine at the Spring of Power in Akkala. I just noticed this tonight. Hmm…perhaps the area by the shore of the Kohga River was already named Nima something-or-other, and this monk was named for the geographical area too? Or both man and area are named for something else, that “Nima” means in Ancient Sheikah…? Still, kinda funny that I’ve been like “lol the Sheikah used to live at Satori Mountain” and it turns out an area near Satori Mountain has the same name as a monk…astfgldsksksd this kind of thing Happens to Me.
#yiga clan#master kohga#age of calamity#legend of zelda#kidk says stuff#*i* know his before-name#I am not going to tell it here. probably ever.#but I will say…it’s a good name. he misses it. sometimes terribly.#for the record he also LOVES being master Kohga. but still. …but still#meanwhile another thing I’ll stick in tags instead:#sooga being from outside…did NOT know Kohga’s before-name. only that he logically had one#but. now he does. :) *because* Kohga loves it and loves him.#intimacyyyyyy~~~ name thiiiing~~~ *rolls around in Name Things like a dog in mud*
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TALK POST FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER!!! hi guys!!!
art has been So hard for the past few months… like way harder than ever… the only art i do is for school at this point :[ i barely even doodle!!! it makes me really sad……. i think a lot of it has to do with my mental state. keeping it reaaall i’m currently in one of the worst emotional points in my life and have been for a while but Ugh!.. it’s gonna be okay in the end… aside from that i think it’s also art class that’s made it all so hard …
for those who don’t know, i’ve been in special art schools since 6th grade, like, schools you have to audition to be in… it’s been great!!! i love(d) meeting likeminded people and being able to relate to each other in a bunch of different ways!! i’ve made SO many friends and so many good memories!!! i’m now in my senior year of high school, half way through… it’s the final stretch for realsies! and i’m reflecting on how the art programs have made me feel about art….
there are SO many benefits that came with the programs minus meeting new people… my art wouldn’t be at the point it is at now without the lessons and expertise and critiques i’ve received from my teachers. i’m grateful i was even accepted into those classes in the first place!!!!!
the main gripe i have with everything tho is how CRAZY it kills your creative flow and enjoyment for art in general… i don’t necessarily blame my teachers, they’re just doing what they’re taught! but i feel like what they’re teaching is wrong in lots of ways…
they put mindsets on students that just… don’t make sense? “art block isn’t real! just draw!” art block isnt just not being able to draw… “every piece you make should be better than your last!” you shouldn’t have to constantly try to one-up yourself!
it’s just all these standards left and right that you have to meet to “be successful” and for your art to be “good”. all of my art classmates and even from the grades below me agree that it’s certainly not the best!!! i can see why everything is the way it is, it’s for improvement and building skill, but i think it’s more damaging than helpful…
i’m SO nitpicky about my art. it’s hard for me to feel proud of things anymore because there’s Always something wrong with what i’m doing… and the way you have to compare yourself and your creations to other people as a grade to begin with is UGH! it’s just teaching students to be SO hard on themselves when art is literally just creating something!!!
the way your art looks shouldn’t determine your value, success, or even worth. art should be FUN!!! it’s a visual extension of yourself. it’s meant to be created with any intention in mind… it’s a reflection of YOU. it’s YOUR unique touch… it shouldn’t have to fit in any criteria!!! you should do what makes you happy!!!
art school can be a blessing but also such a buzzkill… i enjoyed it a lot but it also broke a part of me and it’s really unfortunate… i hope one day i will be able to reverse all those mindsets and relearn my love for drawing. i miss it so so so much…
my lesson to you guys is to not stop… do what makes YOU happy. don’t do things just to look good to others, try to impress YOURSELF. or don’t! just create! because your art is YOU. treat it nicely and don’t ever lose it!!! you can do ANYTHING! you can MAKE anything! if you really think about it, everything’s possible!!!
i think i would word everything better if i was on a stage with a microphone… i think i missed a lot of points too but i hope you all can get the gist of my perspective…
all i know is that i’m not going to be doing any professional art stuff in the future… it suits me better as a hobby!!! i want to be a nurse instead!
no more art school ranting… despite my poor mental health right now, things haven’t been all that bad!!! i hang out with my friends a lot and that’s made everything so much better! i love my friends!!! i love playing games with them and talking with them and going places with them SOOO MUCH!i also have a super amazing partner now too!!!!! they’re the best partner i could ever ask for!!! fun fact, over summer they watched bfdi to get closer with me when we went back to school ISNT THAT SO SWEET AAHHH also our nails are currently painted fireafy colors!!! we are matching!!! so cute… i appreciate them indulging me whenever they can HEHEHEHEEE
anyways i think i’m done talking now…. i’ve said my piece! i haven’t been active for a while So this is catch up time!!! ok bye!!! do something that makes you happy today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or tonight!!!!!!!! or afternoon!!!!!!!!!!
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I think the biggest reason why the team feels different after Hotch leaves/why emily doesn’t seem like the best option for unit cheif to some people(outside of the obvious fact that Hotch was UC for 11 seasons so obviously it’s easy to compare) is because of the ages. Like in season one, Hotch is easily in his mid-late 30’s the EARLIEST (remember, hotch had to go through college, law school, work as a prosecutor for some time (long enough for him to become dismayed by the fact he couldn’t do anything to help people before it was too late), work in the seattle field office before transferring to Quantico and work there for long enough to be seen as a trustworthy replacement for Gideon). The rest of the team is in their early 30’s at most, more likely their late 20’s and that’s not counting Spencer, Jj and Garcia who are in their EARLY 20’s. He’s much older than them (outside of Gideon and Rossi), and that creates an inherent sense of authority. Emily on the other hand, is younger than Hotch, and even if she’s still older than the rest of the team, it’s only by a few years. according to the Fanwiki, Hotch is 8 years older than Morgan and Emily is only 3 years older than him. And yeah, by the time Emily is Unit Cheif, Morgan is gone. but she’s still a lot closer in age.
and this is never remedied. They never hire and young agents to the BAU. The youngest person to join the team after season two is Seaver and she’s only there for a season. Did the FBI qualifications change? do you need to be in your mid-30’s to join now? The entire team is the same age, so Emily never feels like an authority figure in the same way. In season one, Hotch is teaching Spencer how to shoot a gun. In season 12, Reid is IN PRISON. Like you never get to see Emily guide anyone. And it doesn’t help that we saw Emily work as a member of the team like the others, and then she was gone for like…4 seasons.
It’s just so annoying because there could’ve been potential to show a new group of young agents come in as members are swapped out, and show them grow into their roles the same way we saw with the main roster, but this never happens. Instead they’re replaced with Agents the same age. Why do we never see Garcia have a little tech protege, why isn’t there a group of fresh faced agents the way we had them with Elle and Reid. It probably would’ve made the series finale a whole lot better if we knew there was a group of people who were going to take the mantle and that the BAU was going to be just fine without Garcia and Reid. But no, we never get that. Like at the end of season 15 is it just like “oh well, i guess we aren’t catching serial killers anymore” ? like we could’ve seen Emily be somebody’s Hotch, but it never happens, so she never really feels like she’s the unit chief, she just feels like she’s there because Hotch isn’t.
idk there’s probably a lot more, and I love Emily Prentiss so much, I’m probably missing a lot because i honestly don’t watch past season 11 in my rewatches anymore but I just felt like ranting.
#criminal minds#aaron hotchner#emily prentiss#derek morgan#spencer reid#penelope garcia#the bau team#prettybaby rambles#criminal minds evolution#criminal minds rant#yapping#yap sesh
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Being a bitch on main and I’m sorry but if you collect likes and never reblog, and especially those who take the extra steps of even then hiding the likes too so they have an entirely dead blog then you’re not even in the fandom you’re passive floating by the community. You need to reblog things. You need to reblog that art, that fic, that stupid text post joke. “I don’t even have any followers” because you’re boring and you refuse to engage with the community, maybe you could try reblogging (with comment too sometimes) and maybe people might want to engage with you too. You do. You need to reblog. You need to follow people. 90% of the population here doesn’t use the for you page, there is actually a culture here and the “me me me” attitude of Twitter and tiktok doesn’t carry here and the entitlement of acting like it should is making you a pariah instead of a member. You have to interact with the community. Reblog my post, boy.
#this isn’t even really about my own stuff because I know I’m niche and I’m having fun with the people who care so whatever#but I spend a lot of time rebligging art I find in niche corners from small artists#artists who are dead#artists from 2012 who are still here#and my reblog will get 15 likes and then it’s DEAD#no one outside of my immediate mutual polycule wants to reblog the fanart but they’ll like it#you’re fucking useless and I mean it if you enjoyed that art reblog it and show people you enjoyed it for fuck sake#that’s why people don’t create anymore#you actually DO have an obligation to give creators who are making for free your validation#you DO have to tell them you like it and at the very least you can do so with a reblog
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I think the whole “I hope Morro doesn’t back back <3” hate is crazy considering that if someone else’s favorite character was coming back to Ninjago or rumored to be I would 100% support that person who’s excited about their favorite character
#it’s insane#if you don’t like morro don’t people other people down for it#this is why I don’t create or do anything in the fandom anymore cause of stuff like this#that sounded kinda edgy but you get the idea#Ninjago#morro
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i miss carpisuns sometimes </3
#not necessarily that I regret switching over but i just get like nostalgic for an earlier time in the ml fandom#s3 was soooo much fun for me#and the long hiatus before s4 was also the best. so good wasn’t ready for it to end when it did haha#things just feel so different in the fandom now#both the fandom has changed and I have changed#and of course the STORY has changed#and I like don’t know what to do about that or how to react#cause I am used to being one of the guys who is defending ml’s honor with my life lol#committed to spreading positivity#and I still want to be that guy!#but it’s like. idk. I don’t recognize this story anymore#this isn’t the same story that I fell in love with years ago. but I don’t want to just like Leave??#I do want to see how things play out bc I am still invested in these characters#and I would love to still be part of the fan community and connect with people over a mutual love for this thing#that has been important to me for years and has inspired me to create and learn new skills and make new friends!#but I also don’t just want to shut up and pretend I’m happy about things I am decidedly unhappy about lol#like it’s honestly surprising to me that a only a small minority of the fandom seems to feel the way I do?#and the majority are still super pumped and frustrated at the people who are complaining#and really. I don’t WANT to rain on anyone’s parade. I honestly don’t#I was part of the parade for years! I had the best time in the parade! I don’t want to ruin the good time!#so i try not to be too salty on main ? but i feel like I’m going a little crazy lmao! like I’m just one bitter little miser fhdjjd#i mean i guess it’s kind of a good thing that I moved blogs tbh lol#cause now when i whine only a fraction of the people have to be exposed to it 😂#but man i hate knowing that people might think of me as a salter#I mean it’s valid if people are trying to have fun and do not want to hear my complaining haha#but also do i automatically have to be a salter. are the only options support and defend ml 100% at all times or Be A Salter#or can there be a third category of certified ml lover that is just disappointed in recent events & disagrees with the new writing direction#is that too much nuance for tumblr lol#see maybe that’s why I miss carpisuns. she didn’t have to ask this question. she was only full of LOVE!#but therein lies the irony…like marinette I have made this choice out of love…for what the story once was…what is to become of me now…
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i miss editing videos :((
#my energy has been so low though#and haven’t really felt inspired#it’s just so time consuming#and tbh… people’s attention spans have become so short but i’m not a fan of these fast paced tiktok style edits#with a bunch of effects vomitted on them :)))#i mean they all have their right to exist and people seem to love them#but they’re really not my jam at all#but as much as i love editing and spending time trying to tell a great story with my vids#it’s hard to motivate myself when people prefer short supercuts over longer videos#and I KNOW i should be creating for myself first and foremost which i really try to do#but sometimes i wonder why i’m putting so much time into those vids when people obv wanna see something else#which is why i just….. don’t anymore…#also the like to reblog ratio is fucking me up so much#and i know artists and writers and gif makers and basically everyone who creates and shares their things on tumblr struggles with this#but i’m asking myself why i put 15-30 hours into one video when people like it and then just….. don’t share it#ugh okay rant over sorry i’m just in a weird mood rn 🙃
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I made a lmk oc
#they’re supposed to be some sort of experiment to see if people could recreate Sun Wukongs stone egg. the goal was to make a more controlled#and tame version using carved wood and cultivation. but eventually they got worried about it becoming too powerful and scrapped it#eventually they come to life and live in the abandoned temple they were built in#their bottom half is made of wood because when they came to life their creator/s left them unfinished when they scrapped the project#they had to carve the rest of their body out of hunger and frustration because they couldn’t eat or move much by crawling on their top half#this is also why they spite their creators and hate irresponsible creation. because of abandonment issues and feeling like they have no#purpose or direction in life#their power is also very limited to due being man made since they were originally a wood carving#meo gave me the idea but one reason would be because they’re half finished. the sculpture was still half stump so it was completely untouche#that half can channel power in its raw form but the other half cannot once it’s been carved by man#so technically they could have the same level or potential for power as the stone but that was dampened#the other thing is how they were created to be a duplicate or recreation of a stone monkey and a celestial looked at that and was like#‘we’re not doing that again’ LMAO#i think the case of them carving their own legs doesn’t take away their power though. that balance was made#before they came to life so carving the legs or not can’t affect it anymore. like making a cake and slicing it#their energy levels are also naturally low because of that so their movements are sluggish and they aren’t very active overall#constantly lying in the sun to charge their batteries and get some stuff done. just like me fr#I actually don’t know what I’m gonna do with this character besides Put Them In Situations with other ppls ocs.. so if you have#a lmk oc you have been warned /lh /j#I wanna make some backstory art for them though.. maybe even the animatic treatment if I can get through dear wormwood which is 25#SECONDS OUT OF 3 MIN BTW#doodles#Lego Monkie kid#lmk#Monkie kid#lmk oc#monkie kid oc#myart#my art#xin ya
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Have you seen The Amazing Digital Circus yet?
If so, what's your opinion on it?
I LOVE TADC! It’s my favorite indie show at the moment! There’s just so much I like about it but my main ones are
1. The setting and execution being unique. A horror-like project taking place in an late 90s/early 2000s digital game is not a new idea and same goes with characters being stuck in a purgatory however it’s how the artists reinvent those idea that makes it new. The digital Circus made its own aesthetic that makes it stand out from other projects with similar concepts and designs. When I first watched the pilot, one of many things that stuck out to me was how new the story ideas felt. I couldn’t think of any other pieces of media similar to TADC beside for surface-level comparisons. The TADC created its own aesthetic and knows what it wants to be and I like it!
2. Soundtrack. Speaks for itself, the soundtrack for the pilot is so good especially Your New Home. That song is very catchy and emotional too. It has such a unique melody, everytime you hear the first few notes you instantly recognize it. It does a great job highlighting the dread and existentialism crisis of Pomni’s situation. I recommend to give it a listen if you haven’t.
3. The characters dynamics. I just love how the characters interact with each other. The majority of the jokes comes from characters’ interactions and dynamics and how well everyone plays off of each other. The best example is Jax with everyone, Jax is a funny jerk who likes bullying his peers. It’s funny to see what creative ways Jax will bully the other people whether it’s being sarcastic and making quips at them, or though goofy pranks and how the characters react because of their contrast in personality. Every character beside Jax is openly stressed or worried in someway while Jax, at first seem like a chill layback dude.
4. The characters differences. I adored the differences between each character from how they talk to their poses. After watching HH and HB, I learned to have an appreciation for character differences. It’s just refreshing to see characters allowed to be different instead of the same tired reused tropes and repeating the same type of dialogue again for every character.
5. Mystery and lore. There is so much to explore in the pilot, it’s make you wanting more. When going in to watch the pilot, I made the mistake of thinking the series will be predictable. I didn’t see how they could make this premise work because by the end of it, Pomni will go insane but then I watched the pilot and was speechless. The pilot does a good job setting up questions for the audience to ask. If Caine lied about the exit, what are other things did he lied about? How long has the cast been stuck in the circus? Who are these people? Are they previous game developers? Who were they in their previous lives? What is the company’s motivation to create the headset? What are the abstractions in game? Are they viruses to the game program? Who were the former cast? What horrors has Kinger seen to be as paranoid and easily frighten as he is now? Do the abstractions still have a consciousness? You just want to find out more about the lore to solve the many mysteries in the show. I find it impressive Gooseworx was able to stir up the theorists because they have admitted in an ask, there are already theories floating around that are almost right about the show.
One problem I did have for the pilot were the scenes containing the Gloink Queen. The pacing of the pilot was fine until we got to her then it was slow. I feel it dragged longer than it needed too but beside that, my issues for the pilot ends.
I can’t speak for the fandom on other platforms but the tumblr one is great! Most of the time everyone is being respectful towards each other and I love seeing what creative theories, AU, fanfics, and art the fans created. The only people causing drama are the anti-shippers, and it’s just dumb. All of the cast are adults, if age gaps ships makes people uncomfortable, that’s valid but they shouldn’t make it into other people’s problems. Gooseworx themselves admitted they don’t care for romance and they don’t want fans in the fandom getting harassed over shipping.
Overall despite what issues I had for the pilot and fandom, they’re overshadowed by the positives and I can’t wait to see the full show and the fandom’s growth.
#꧁rambles꧂#➥asks#the amazing digital circus#The TADC is the indie show and fandom I needed#After a year of critiquing Viv and her shows and being a fandom as toxic as HH & HB I just needed a break#I’m still active as you can see but barely posting and critiquing the shows anymore#I do check the critical tags every now and again to catch up and I’m just not interested in consuming any Viv’s content anymore#The last Ep I saw from HB was Unhappy Campers and the last video related to HH was the Happy Day in Hell one#I kinda don’t see the point of being very active on my HH amounts when I’m no longer watching Viv and I think everything to Viv is regressi#Viv is getting more careless about how she presents herself online and people are starting to noticed how much of an ass she really is#responding on a funny shitpost of “If the TADC was written by Viv” lightly making fun of her and she blew up once again#I’ve seen creators with a decent size following in other platform not just Twitter called her out and Viv and the fandom is be the-#reasons why Hazbin will fail#Her fandoms are notorious for being toxic/ fans going out of their way to attack not just haters but anyone who doesn’t praise Viv 24/7#Viv is actively creating toxic environment in her fanbases so she can protect herself from criticism and allegations behind her fans#But because of this Viv is contributing to the future downfall of Hazbin because no one wants to be associated with her because of her fanb#There’s just no reason to stay around#If the reaction to the Prime’s video Happy Day in Hell from outsiders is mixed then the reaction will be too for the full release#Plus the general attitude towards Viv has changed over the last three years#Despite her previous controversies she was see as a respectful creator but now views are mixed#People see her as the indie creator whose show took a nose drive in season 2/doesn’t pay her employees/is immature/and is now seen in a-#more negative light
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,
#i feel so helpless when i see people being so down on themselves#the community is definitely smaller now and i get why but for those that remain and continue to create#to think that it’s something they’re doing wrong - IT ABSOLUTELY ISN’T#and i wish i could do something to make everyone believe that#i wanna hug everyone and tell them how bright they still make this community - or what remains of it - still so cosy and lovely#whether it’s someone i don’t know in the tag or one of my friends it stings still#this community has some of the most exceptional talent i’ve ever seen -#talent in every form - and as someone that has gone through many fandoms and hate at their creations i tend to not look at numbers anymore#but i get it why people do - i get it SO MUCH#to not get the recognition - it hurts. i get it!#but i’ve learned over time that there are COUNTLESS ‘ghost readers’ or ‘ghost viewers’ that see and appreciate your work but just don’t-#interact with it - i was one of those people up until january this year!#my ao3 was already flooded with qsmp fics before i made this blog and i didn’t have the fitpacs account yet so didn’t leave kudos or anyth#but my point is - i get entirely why it’s easy to get wrapped up#i’ve been there but honestly - you are so appreciated#and i know me saying this makes no difference and i don’t expect to#but i love and appreciate this community with my whole heart#and whether you are someone i speak to a lot or we’ve never spoken at all - thank you for your beautiful creations#it’s a real shame how things went down behind the scenes obviously#but it’s so beautiful that so many people still have such passion to create#and if there is ANYTHING i can do to help build peoples spirits with regards to this please let me know#this community has done so much for me (more than you know) and i really want to give#something back
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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Hot take, but maybe if we stopped labeling art by first time creatives as "bad" or "awful" in quality, people wouldn’t be so damn afraid to just start creating.
#nemesestext#I know why people say it that way#for example when digital artists tell new artists that the only way to become good is to spend hours drawing bad art#because people keep comparing themselves to artists who have years of experience#but at the same time#maybe stop telling people that what they're about to create will be awful in quality#or at least don’t make a surprised pikachu face when they don’t feel like trying anymore
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how can I have so many ideas but also NO IDEAS
#I’m back in my hating music phase sorry#it’s just so incredibly frustrating the concept is 100% but I literally cannot come up with anything#I’ve been putting off trying so I’ve been like ‘well just try you don’t even know if it’s going to be hard’#guess what. it’s just as hard as it’s been for the past three years I’ve been massively burnt out#I hate it here why do I even do this#this was supposed to be funny but it’s actually not that funny anymore I’m so tired of only ever being able to force myself to create#nothing I do is ever all that good. like it’s fine. but in the past three years I’ve written one (1) piece I’m actually proud of#and I’ve written at least like seven pieces#which is not even a lot compared to most people who do what I do#anyway. the tags kind of got away from me. I think I should stop for tonight#meanwhile I only spent like 15 minutes on it and that was enough to genuinely upset me#mine
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me remembering the majority of my first couple of months on this site were defined by people who are no longer in my life anymore :
#like . idk why ive been thinking abt them a lot recently but i have#maybe cuz im working on Something that they don’t get to enjoy because they’re petty and refuse to see anything created by me anymore. idk#maybe it’s cuz im finally doing ok without them. making new friends. having new moots. enjoying life more without their company!!#if you know who im talking abt. you probably do. but if you do just ignore#bc i don’t want my experiences with these two to define your opinions of them 👍 im trying to be more mature than that#but at the same time. so much of me wants to call them out and name drop. but i won’t.#because im moving on and honestly? i hope they’re not moving on from me. so they can see what they’re missing !!#anyways . this was brought to you by a pep talk i needed to hear that nobody’s gonna give me#thank u and goodnight#🫧����#wayli vague posts#except it’s Directed at People#edit to clarify : if you can see this post. i am not talking abt you don’t worry#the people im talking abt blocked me so they can’t see if so if you can see this it’s not about you !!#all of my current moots are wonderful mwah <3 💕
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