#i’ve been there but honestly - you are so appreciated

[ohtobeleah]

Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Chapter Thirteen: [Panic Room]

Summary: Jakes darkest fears come to fruition when surgery doesn’t go as planned and the months to come bring a new reality he never saw coming.

Warnings: MAIN CHARACTER DEATH Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil. Mentions of religion.

Word Count: 5.5k

Author Note: A big show of appreciation and love to @a-reader-and-a-writer (Vee) for constantly being ready and willing to help me with my writing. You have been the backbone I needed to get this done!

You guys will never know how much this series means to me. And in the same breath, you guys will never know how much your support truly means. Merry Christmas Eve Eve 2024 ya filthy animals.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Researchers say the average length of a dream is two to three minutes long. But many people experience their dreams as hours, days, or even years if they can remember them at all. 

The science of dreaming has been questioned for hundreds of years. Some hypothesise that dreams are our way of processing real events that occur when we’re awake. They also serve as an outlet for repressed hopes and desires. Neuroscientists introduce a new theory every few years. But honestly, no one knows why we dream. 

Or why we have nightmares. We just hope that after the dream, we wake up. 

“We’ve gone over all the risks, weighed up all the possible outcomes, dotted I’s and crossed T’s. Today is the day, Mrs. Seresin.” Doctor Morrison was hopeful in his consultation. The white coat-wearing man reassured you as he placed your chart back where it belonged. “How are you feeling?” 

The question went unanswered for a moment or two. You felt like you were in a state of shock. Unable to truly express how you felt just hours before going into what could be life-changing surgery. You were giving everyone in the room a thousand-yard stare. Mentally and physically, you had checked out. Like you’d been stuck in a nightmare that wouldn’t stop torturing you. 

“We had some bad news last night. A close friend passed away unexpectedly,” Jake answered on your behalf. “Is there any way–” 

“We need to do this now, Mr. Seresin, or we won’t be able to revisit this for a few months,” Dr. Morrison explained with an emphasis on the matter of now or never. “I understand personal circumstances may have changed. However, knowing everything you know about risk and recovery and survival rates after double mastectomies, I recommend we stick to the organised care plan.” 

“Can we have a moment alone?” Jake asked cautiously as his hand came to rest gently on your shoulder. You hadn’t moved from what could only be described as a catatonic-like state for the entire duration of the conversation. 

“Of course,” Dr. Morrison nodded. “I’ll come back after I’ve checked in on a few patients.” 

It didn’t take long at all for the oncology crew to exit the room. But the second they did, you felt like you could breathe again. 

“I can’t go through with this surgery Jake,” you begged. Fear of the unknown had taken over your entire being. “I can’t do this,” 

“You are the strongest person I know, honey, the kids and I really need you to do this.” Jake tried his best to comfort you as well as remind you why this surgery was so important. “We need you, yeah? We need you to stick around and this fucking cancer, this disease, is trying to cut that time short.” 

“But Jensen–” 

At the height of the Great Depression, Harvard scientists started tracking students in hopes of discovering the key to a long and happy life. They looked at participants’ mental and physical health over seventy-five years. It’s the longest study of happiness to date. Seventy-five years and all they did was confirm what we’ve known since the beginning of time. 

The most powerful predictor of health and happiness is the quality of our relationships. 

Strong relationships protect us. Loneliness on the other hand…can be deadly. 

“Would want you to keep fighting and have this surgery.” Jake could have said he thought Jensen was a coward. He could have said how angry he was at that fucker for leaving you alone in this world with no one to confide in who knew the struggle, who knew the feeling of being told you’re sick and need to get sicker in order to get better. 

Jake could have told you how he wished Jensen had survived so he could kill him himself. Jake could have responded with the fact Jensen was terminal and there was nothing on this earth that could have saved him from his illness. 

Jake could have told you that Jensen thought you hung the stars and the moon in the night sky every night just for him…but then Jake would also have to admit to himself and you that maybe, just maybe, you should have moved on. 

“What would he say right now if he was here?” Jake settled on that question just to keep himself sane. He didn’t want to open yet another can of worms right before your surgery. This was all one big giant nightmare already, he didn’t want to make it worse. If anything, Jake kept pinching himself in secret just hoping that maybe he’d wake up on the couch and this cancer saga would all be some sadistic subconscious dream of his. 

He’d always been deathly afraid of not being good enough for you. 

“He’d tell me to do it,” you sighed as you let your head rest against the upright bed. “He’d tell me to be strategic about the battle, the war is the endgame.” 

“Exactly, one battle at a time, step by step,” Jake agreed with a cheeky smile. That signature Seresin smile you so effortlessly loved. “You’re not gonna hand in the white flag before the battles even really begins, are you?” 

“Kinda want to if I’m being completely honest with you,” you responded knowing Jake would appreciate the honesty. “But I guess you and the kids really need me to stick around, huh?” 

“Oh, I can’t even begin to explain how much we need you to stick around, honeybee.” it was as honest and as sincere as Jake could be. He wore his heart on his sleeve for you. He exposed every nerve he had just so you could dance your feather-like fingers across the tender strings that made Jake, Jake. 

“I’m so scared of being alone in the operating room,” you admitted as Jake leaned in to leave a gentle kiss on your forehead. “I’m so scared they won’t see me as a person,” It was an explanation that broke Jake’s heart even though he believed his heart couldn’t be broken any more. “That they won’t remember I’m me, that I have a life and a family and people who will miss me.” 

Over the course of our lives, our relationships ebb and flow. We get together, break up, move away, or fall out of touch. It’s prolonged periods of loneliness and toxicity that wreak havoc on our health, our brain function, and our longevity. 

“You’re never alone,” Jake replied softly as tears threatened to spill over his waterline. “I’m always with you, the kids are always with you, Jensen, your mum, everyone will be with you during that surgery, we’re gonna be waiting on the other side.” 

“I love you so much, Jake Seresin,” you smiled brightly through a tight-lipped smile Jake wished he could save in his mind’s eye forever. “Let’s win this battle.” 

“And the war too,” Jake replied as he reached for your hand, gave it a soft squeeze, and brought your palm to his lips. “Let’s fucking do this, Y/n.” 

*************************************

Jake sat waiting by the vending machine as he picked at the small single service-sized packet of original Lays he’d nearly had to beg the machine to drop. His watch told him it was almost nearing the end of your surgery. He wasn't stressed, not when your surgeon had been so hopeful and calming. Jake had spent far too much of his time recently worrying about the what-ifs. He wanted to focus on the now. And that now was the fact you would have been nearing the end of your surgery. Which meant soon enough he’d get to see you again. 

The only thing that kept Jake on his toes was the ever-looming doubt that perhaps the treatment plan wouldn't be enough. He hoped that you had enough fight in you to make it through the journey. He needed you to have enough strength to fight. 

“She should be coming out of surgery soon–” Jake explained as he held his phone up to his ear and tried not to chew so loud. “The kids know that Rooster is picking them up to bring them home to Grandma Maz’s house?” 

“Yeah, Mum’s not too happy about it but she won't keal over about it,” Jasmine replied as she watched her brother's kids play with hers in the backyard she and Jake used to make mud pies in. “Rooster messaged about an hour ago saying he was close, he shouldn't be too far away now.” Jas continued in her own little world. Jake was used to not being able to get a word in with his youngest sister. “I can't believe Y/n has fucking cancer–does her side of the family have a history or…?” 

“Not that we know of, it's just really bad luck, Jas,” Jake sighed as he let his head fall back against the wall his chair was pressed up against. “But hopefully with this surgery and the chemo, she’ll be able to beat it.” 

“Well, you tell her that I’m pissed she gets a boob job before I do,” Jasmine tried her best to keep the situation as light-hearted as possible. “Make sure she gets a good rack, not too small or too big, like a good handful that's just right.” 

“I'll be sure to let her know,” Jake smiled, he really could count on his sister for that. “Oh, I gotta go, I see Y/n’s surgeon.” Jake sat up in anticipation as anxiety flooded his nervous system. “Tell the kids we love them for me.” 

“Have been every day,” Jasmine replied quickly knowing her brother probably had his phone down from his ear by now. “Bye.” 

Jake was quick to pocket his phone and wipe the crumbs from his shirt as he stood to greet your surgeon. However, something seemed off about the man who had seemed so confident before your surgery. 

“Mr. Seresin–” 

“How is she?” Jake asked. He didn't mean to interrupt, but he needed to know first and foremost before any medical mumbo jumbo. “My wife, how’d the surgery go?” 

There was a very telling pause that accompanied the sober look that Doctor Morrison wore, but Jake tried not to read into it all that much. He knew you would be fine. 

Right? 

“Mr Seresin, your wife's heart was weakened by the stress of her recent stroke,” Doctor Morrison began to explain as Jake stood there expecting good news. “She, unfortunately, went into a cardiac arrest–” the air around Jake disappeared. Almost instantly, he felt as if he were floating in space. “We tried to revive her for the better half of twenty minutes while she was on the table,” There was a pause. A telling moment where reality and fantasy were trying to battle it out. Who’s version of events would win? When Doctor Morrison saw Jake’s mind short-circling with an inability to process the magnitude of information, he felt as if he needed to continue explaining the severity of the situation. 

“It was catastrophic, and I'm afraid we've lost her.” Doctor Morrison had told far too many loved ones over the years that they had lost family members, but never in all his years had he ever seen such immediate denial written in the lines on someone's face. “Mr. Seresin, your wife has died.” The words Doctor Morrison was saying were not sinking in as Jake stood there completely blind to the reality happening around him. “I’m so sorry for your loss–” 

“Uh–” Jake frowned as the confusion kicked in. “I'm sorry, you must have mistaken me for someone else. My wife was fine before she went in for surgery, she was fine.” 

“Yes, yes, your wife was fine, yes–” Doctor Morrison tried to keep his composure, but even after all these years the losses still hurt. It made him feel human to experience the emotions alongside the family members, but in the first few seconds of watching Jake Seresin spiral into a hole of denial that you were, in fact, gone, Doctor Morrison, knew this particular loss would haunt him for the rest of his career. 

Speaking slowly, Doctor Morisson tried once more to explain what had happened in a way that Jake would understand. “The stress of the surgery along with her recent stroke…her body just couldn't handle the stress. Her heart experienced a cardiac episode and we unfortunately couldn’t revive her.” 

The immediate silence between the two men was all-consuming as it was telling. Jake’s heart was breaking in two. 

“Is there someone I can call for you?” Doctor Morrison tried to be as empathetic as he could be, this part of the job was never easy. The part where he was tasked with telling loved ones that the people they loved had passed on his table. They were few and far between, but the people he did lose would forever haunt him. He could name every single one and their family’s name too. Jake Seresin would be a name Doctor Morrison would remember for the rest of his life and into the next. 

“Are you out of your mind?” Jake pushed back almost immediately as he tried to wrap his head around what he was being told. This didn’t make any sense, you were just here. You were fine. 

“No, Mr. Seresin I–” Doctor Morrison tried to explain again, but it was to no avail.

“I–Okay, I think you must be mistaken,” Jake wiped his hand on his jeans as he stepped back. “I just need to ge–”

“Mr. Seresin, please.” Doctor Morrison tried to stop Jake from leaving the waiting area, but Jake just stepped further back with a frown of disgust and grief. He was still holding his packet of Lays. 

“No, no can you just, can you back up?” Jake nearly growled. “Can you leave me alone?” Jake looked around as he tried to remember how to breathe. People were staring at him like he was in a zoo. A caged and cornered animal begging to be left alone. “Can somebody get this person to just give me some space please?” It was as heartbreaking as it was cruel to watch Jake walk down the hall towards where he knew your hospital room was. 

“Y/n?” He called out hoping you'd be back by now. “You won’t believe this guy, honey. He just–” The moment Jake rounded the corner and saw your hospital room empty with no sign of you, he stood still. All the air had been sucked right from his lungs as his eyes scanned the room. Your Christmas lights weren’t flashing, your bed wasn't made, and your laptop sat open with a black screen, but just where you’d left it. You weren't back. 

“Y/n?” Jake whispered under his breath as his eyes continued to scan the empty hospital room just waiting for you to appear from out of the bathroom or sneak up behind him. But Jake knew you weren't about to appear even though he wished for nothing more. 

“Oh–” One step, two steps, three steps, four. Jake didn't know where he was but he was on the move. He couldn't stay here looking at an empty room. He had to find where you were. “Oh god, no, no no no no no, please no don’t take her away from me.” 

“Jake!” The woman's voice Jake had come to know over the last few days broke through the fog that was clouding Jake's mind. He continued to stumble blindly down the ward. “I just heard,” Lydia explained as she rushed up to the man who she had come to know as your husband. “I'm so sorry, I wasn't expecting this to happen. I thought–” Lydia quickly reacted when Jake's knees buckled underneath him. 

“Woah! I need a little help over here!” Doctor Morrison was quick on the draw as he made his way over to where Jake now kneeled on the floor unable to breathe. 

“My wife–” Jake tried to talk as he hyperventilated. “Y/n!” he cried out for all to hear. “Y/N!” 

“She's gone.” Doctor Morrison had to make sure the fact was sinking in. 

“Oh Jake, I’m so sorry–” Lydia tried to console the six-foot-something man who had crumbled to his knees. “Your wife was an amazing woman.” 

Jake still couldn't believe it, he didn't believe it, and he wouldn't. The pain he felt inside his chest, the burning hot sensation was excruciating. He’d never felt such a feeling of grief mixed with denial and so much love. You couldn’t be gone. He was having a nightmare, wasn’t he? This wasn't real. He was dreaming. This was all one big dream. It had to be. It had to be a nightmare his subconscious had concocted. A nightmare where Jake lost it all. His biggest fears were realised. 

“I need my wife, I need Y/n,” Jake sobbed as Lydia kneeled on the ground in front of him just assessing his current state of shock. “I can't, she can't–no no no she's fine, please tell me she's fine.” 

“I'm so sorry, Jake,” Lydia confirmed what Jake wished so desperately wasn’t true. “She’s gone,” Lydia’s voice became distorted as she held the broken man in her arms. “You need to wake up before it's too late.” 

************************

Bradley Bradshaw was accustomed to losing the people he loved the most in this world. He’d lost his father, his mother, and his grandparents. For a while there he’d lost the only man who had ever slightly filled the shoes his dad left behind. But the loss of someone who was still there was something he’d never had to handle before. 

“Nat, he hasn’t gotten out of bed in days,” Bradley groaned as he cleaned up the kitchen. “The kids already lost their mother,” Bradley tried his best to keep his voice down, but the way little Lennox clocked Bradley from where he was sitting at the dining table made him realise he wasn’t one to talk on the quiet side. “They don’t need to lose their dad too.”

Jake stood just outside of Bradley’s eyeline, but he could hear everything the giant overgrown bird was saying. He couldn’t hear what Phoenix was saying but there was enough back and forth on Bradley’s behalf to easily fill in the gaps. 

“No. No, he hasn’t been down since the funeral.” Jake forgot how to exhale at the mere mention of your funeral as he hid in the hall. He couldn’t remember ever getting ready or speaking at your wake. He couldn’t remember who drove them or if the kids cried. He couldn’t remember hugging your mother or shaking your brother’s hand. Jake couldn’t remember any details about the flowers he’d organised or the people who were there. 

The anti-depressants weren’t helping. Nothing was. Nothing would. 

Until today, Jake couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed. Without you, there was no point. He was begrudgingly okay with living a life in a world where you were still in it. But living in a world where you were no longer present wasn’t something Jake was willing to do. The kids would be fine with their grandparents. They’d be fine with Uncle Rooster. Lennox and Lucy and little Sammy didn’t need him. How was he supposed to look into their eyes and know he could never see the twinkle in yours ever again? 

“I’m really worried about him, Nat,” Rooster sighed as he held his phone up to his ear with his shoulder. He was working on making little Samy some banana pancakes. “As much as I want to, I can’t stay here forever, but he needs someone.” 

“No one is asking you to babysit me, Bradshaw,” Jake replied to the statement Bradley wasn’t expecting an answer to. “You can leave, trust me, I can drop the kids off with my mum.” 

Bradley stood stunned into silence as he watched Jake round the corner and into vision. He reluctantly reached for his phone and hung up as Phoenix questioned what was going on. 

“Hey man,” Rooster finally broke the silence as he watched Jake walk closer and closer to where Sammy sat in his high chair. “How you feeling today?” 

“Well, my wife’s still dead, so that’s something,” Jake replied with a sigh as he picked up Sammy and placed him on his lap. Lennox could see the look of pure admiration in his younger brother’s eyes as Jake hugged the smallest of the Seresin kids. “Seriously, you’ve done enough for us, I got it from here.” It was the biggest lie Jake had ever tried to tell not only himself but his best friend. 

“Uh,” Bradley wasn’t convinced. “Are you sure? I mean–I wanna stay as long as you need man,” Bradley tried to plead his case as Jake went about his business with Sammy. The business being nothing. Jake stood somewhat dazed and lost in the middle of the clean-ish kitchen. A kitchen he knew where nothing was. It wasn’t his. It was yours. 

“I think the kids should come back to North Island with me,” Jake opted to ignore what Bradley was saying. Instead, he decided to continue with a vague plan for what the future holds. A future he didn’t want to have with you. A future he didn’t care about. 

“You want the kids to uproot everything they know?” Rooster frowned as he looked over to where Lenny sat watching on. The kids were down, to say the least. Bradley could recognise himself in the permanent pout that had taken shape across Lennox’s face. The puffy eyes and saddened expression really tied the whole look of mourning together. They were just kids, they didn’t deserve any of this. “I don’t think you should be thinking about coming back to work anything soon either.” 

“I don’t need you micromanaging me,” Jake hissed as he held onto his youngest son, all the while his eldest watched on with concern for his dad. “I need you to go home, Rooster, we’ve got it from here.” 

“You don’t got anything, Seresin. Are you kidding me right now?” Bradley didn’t mean to come across as so defensive. But he’d seen Jake in this grief-fueled spiral long enough to know that his destructive and depressive mindset would end up causing more distress for the kids than intended. Jake was a good dad, that had never been questioned. Until now… Bradley wasn’t sure if his best friend could handle parenting three small children without a village to back him up. “The kids haven’t seen you in days–” 

“Would you rather them see me at my worst or not see me at all?” Jake’s grief was eating away at him. So much so that Jake began to wish each time he closed his eyes he’d get to stay with the version of you his mind had envisioned. “I’m fine, I’ve got it from here,” Jake sighed as he hugged little Sammy with all the strength that he had. “I wasn’t, but I’m fine now and I just wanna spend time with the kids.” 

“I don’t believe a word you’re saying right now man,” Bradley replied as he caught sight of Lucy coming down the hall. She’d been sleeping much like her father was. Great, all three Seresin children were present for their father’s impending breakdown. 

“Get the fuck out of my house, Bradshaw.” This hadn’t been the first confrontation Jake and Bradley had gotten into while Bradley had been staying in Rhode Island as the Seresin kid’s personal live-in nanny. And it certainly wouldn’t be the last. It was becoming an almost everyday occurrence. The only difference this time was the kids were here to witness it. “I don’t need you here–”

“You aren’t thinking straight, just–how about the kids and I go for a walk or something and you sort yourself out? Have a shower? Shave? Drink something other than alcohol for–” Before Rooster could finish his sentence, Jake was placing Sam on the kitchen floor with a haste that didn’t sit right with Rooster. Lennox was the first to move from his chair. He was the spitting image of his father. 

“I don’t fucking care, Rooster!” Jake shouted at the top of his lungs. So loud and with such rage that the veins in his neck were popping as his skin turned a nice shade of ruby red. He took fast strides across the kitchen until Jake was standing toe to toe with his best friend. The very friend who’d been taking care of his children since before your passing. “I have to live the rest of my fucking live without the woman I love, so, cut me some godman slack before I knock your smug ass head from your shoulders.” 

Bradley didn’t move. He didn’t retaliate. He watched over Jake’s shoulder how his three children all cowered on the kitchen floor, scared of how their father yelled. Jake was oblivious to his surroundings. He couldn’t see the kids were struggling too. 

“Jake?” Bradley sighed as he placed his hands on either side of Jake’s face. “When the fuck are you gonna get through all this?” Braley asked softly as he remained calm. “When are you gonna wake up?” 

“Wake up?” Jake repeated as he pulled his face from his best friend's grip. “Wake up? Bradshaw, I died with my wife! There is no waking up from any of this!” 

“Maybe–” Bradley shrugged as he walked over to where the kids had been huddled together. It was only as Jake followed Bradley’s trajectory that he realised how much he’d scared his children. Something he never wanted to do. “There's always hope though.” 

“Kids,” Jake sighed as his tears began to fall. He dropped to his knees right then and there in the kitchen he wasn't familiar with. In a house that was now cold and dark without your constant radiating light to keep it warm and bright. “Guys, I'm sorry, huh–Dad didn't mean to raise his voice, he’s just–” Before Jake could finish his sentence, little Lennox was finishing his father’s sentence for him. 

“You’re just sick, dad.” 

“What?” Jake frowned as the kids made their way over to where Jake was kneeling on the tiles. 

“I said you’re just sad, Dad,” Lennox replied once more as he gave his dad a hug. “We’ll take care of you.” 

************************

December 31st 

Jake Seresin tried his best to hide the wet tears that fell down his cheeks as he sat with his kids on the lounge of the home that he had tried his best to keep as tidy as he could. There was a lot of uncertainty, a lot of frustration, a lot of fear and unbelievable sadness that surrounded Jake and your three small children. The unknown was truly tragic, terrifying and treacherous, but Jake wasn’t about to let his kids see the way he so desperately wanted to cry. 

Things had changed since Jake fell mind, body and soul into an unimaginably deep hole of depression. So much so that days had become to feel like one long dream. A paradox of grief and manic love. Your mother had told Jake to feel every ounce of emotion he had locked away. Maz had told him that grief was just someone’s residual love with nowhere else to go. 

Once Jake was able to understand that the pain of losing you was his love for you, he understood why it hurt so deeply on a cellular level. He understood why it hurt to look at the children he’d created with you. He understood why the kids had wanted to sit and open the small, still-wrapped Christmas present Lenny had found in Jake’s bag when he was looking for his dad’s wallet. 

Because it was one of the last things you ever gifted someone. It was one of your last acts on earth. 

“What did Mum get you for Christmas, Daddy?” Jake held the small present in the palm of his hand, the present he had yet to open. The present he wasn’t sure he wanted to. It felt like something he’d held before, the weight felt all too familiar. It haunted him the more he carried it around, held it in the palm of his hand and contemplated the inevitable. 

“I dunno buddy, you reckon I should open it?” Jake asked as he kissed his son's head. “S’not Christmas anymore.” The Naval Aviator had recently shaved his head, it had been the closest to a number one he’d ever had. It was in solidarity, union. A decision he made in the blink of an eye but one he did not regent or ever would. 

“We haven’t taken the tree down yet,” Lucy added her two cents into the conversation as she laid her head on her father’s thigh. “Mum would be upset if you didn’t open it, Dad.” Jake knew that much was true, you probably would be pretty bent out of shape if he never opened it. 

“Alright, I’d better open it then huh?” Jake shook the small perfectly wrapped box he could hold in the palm of his hand. He heard what sounded like a rock rattle inside. His heart nearly exploded inside his chest. 

Fuck….Jake knew what it was and he really didn’t want to open it. 

“Hey, Dad?” Lucy’s voice sounded completely different to anything Jake had ever heard before. She was looking right at him yet her eyes were trained on something one hundred miles away. 

“Yeah, sweetheart?” Jake replied just as he was about to open the present you’d given him before his life was turned upside down. 

“You need to wake up now,” Lucy’s voice sounded familiar, but it wasn’t her own. “You’ve had enough time here,” 

“What are you talking about Lu?” Jake frowned as he looked at his daughter. An extension of himself and you. “Lucy? Are you feeling okay?” 

“You’ll be a good dad soon,” Lucy smiled as she unwrapped the small ring box in Jake’s hand. The ring box that held what Jake assumed to be your engagement ring. But as little Lucy opened the wrapping, a blinding light burst through the cracks. A light so bright it forced Jake to squint. 

“Please wake up, honey,” Jake heard your voice clear as day as Lucy opened the ring box to send a piercing white light into the living room. Jake was completely captured by the light around him. So much so the entire room was drowned in a light so pure it was crystal clear. He couldn’t see a single thing beyond the all-encompassing white. 

“Please wake up for us,” again your voice was the only thing Jake could hear in the void he found himself in. 

“Y/n?” Jake called out into the void around him. He could feel his ribcage breaking like he couldn't breathe. Every breath he took was agony. “Hello?” Yet he could hear your voice. A voice he longed for. A voice he had to get back to. Jake had to get to you. 

“I’m here, you’re alright,” Jake once again heard your angelic siren song. His head began to throb. The feeling was agonising. Like there was no more room for swelling. 

“Where are you?” Jake called out as he stumbled in the light. The smell of burning flesh mixed with jet fuel overcame Jake’s senses. His need to get to you was more powerful than the deep bone ache he could feel in his legs. There was nothing on earth or beyond that would stop Jake from getting to wherever the hell you were calling him from. His entire body ached with a pain so unimaginable it sent him to his knees. Crawling, Jake cried out for you just one more time. 

“Y/n!?” Jake called out once more in a desperate attempt to find you in the void. “Kids?” 

“Here he comes,” Bradley’s voice echoed out as Jake looked up towards where he assumed the sky would be. The glare was too much. Jake placed his forearms over his forehead to soften the brightness. “Come on Hangman, don't leave us out to dry.” 

Some people spend their whole lives trying to make a dream come true. They set a goal and make a plan on how to achieve it. It works for some people. But for others, it’s not so easy. As hard as they work toward the dream, it can feel like the whole world has plotted against them. 

As someone gets further and further away from the dream, people begin to cling to any sign of hope. And the longer it takes and the more it costs…you start to consider whether you should give up. Do you find a new dream? Or do you stick to the one that started you on this journey in the first place? 

For Jake, things weren’t as black and white. 

As Jake closed his eyes and took one painful last breath in, he felt as if he’d fallen from cloud nine. When he opened his eyes, the light was still there….But he wasn’t.

Jake’s eyelids fluttered, the faintest hint of light creeping through the haze of his mind. He tried to move, but his body felt foreign as if it wasn’t entirely his own. The weight of unconsciousness clung to him, reluctant to release its hold. Slowly, he became aware of the sounds around him—

“Jake, It’s me, can you hear me?”

**********************

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[foldingfittedsheets]

hi! im not super good with words, so please excuse me, but i really enjoy the stories you share on here, and while i don’t really interact with you, i just wanted to send a bit of encouragement your way. i know how tough it can be to work long hours back to back like you have been. i also know how soul crushing it can feel to have a break in your line of sight, only for it to be suddenly removed. i’m very sorry for that.

every time i see you interacting with questions you receive on here its always with a lot of patience and effort and it doesnt go unnoticed. a lot of people dont take the time- and thats ok, no one is entitled to amicable responses- but im constantly impressed with you. so, i hope that you know that people appreciate you, and your effort is never for nothing. i hope these coming shifts have moments of reprieve for you and that you find yourself imbued with energy to keep going that seems to come from someplace outside yourself. i genuinely hope everything gets a whole lot easier for you soon, and that all the things that are a product of your goodwill- that may at times feel wasted- come back around as success and peace for you and yours. thankyou for all of your earnest effort

This is so lovely, thank you so much.

Honestly, I feel like I get out of tumblr what I put into it. The following I have on here is by and large so overwhelmingly supportive and the amount of times I’ve whined on here and someone sends sweet uplifting messages it definitely comes back around.

Tomorrow will hopefully pass painlessly and then I get two days off with my beloved two weeks in a row, it’ll be worth it.

[karonkar]

{KARONKAR 2024 ART SUMMARY }

This year has been a hell of a ride!!

Honestly, I’ve gain so many friends this year, and I appreciate everyone that supports me and my works. It’s very mind boggling to see the progress I’ve made and how much I’ve improved. Thank you guys, you are all so awesome 😎

Also special mentions to @owliedoesnothing. You are amazing, and I’m so glad I’m able to be with you all this year and the years after that! ❤️ Love you.

[strnilolover]

strnilolover’s appreciation post !!

i’ve been seeing everyone do this and i feel as though it’s only right to do the same because i have to many amazing people who i’ve gotten to know and interact with on the time i’ve been on here for. <3

i want everyone to know that i love you ALL. i am so proud of each and everyone of you and i’m ALWAYS here when ever you need me or what to talk!

there’s so many more amazing people, but these right here are pretty much my ride or die’s and i would do anything for them just to see them happy!

@hearts4werka - vera, you were one of the first people that i talked to in my dm’s ever. tbh i was so nervous to at first because you are one of the people i look up to. you’ve always been so supportive and such a sweet soul every-time we talk. your writing is amazing and i love when we’re able to share ideas with one another. you’re full of so much energy even when it’s late at night for you or early in the morning. always saying good morning to me or telling me to get my ass to bed when i need to. i love all of your series and im so excited to see what others you come up with in the future as well as au’s! please dont ever die. i love you!

@adoreechxmpion - bri, when we first started talking it was so fun right off the bat. and the way we met was undeniably hilarious. i love talking to you when i get the chance, you always brighten up my day and make me feel happy. your writing too is just *chefs kiss*. i also love hearing about your day and how you’re doing when you tell me. you’re always so so sweet and such a lovable person, even when things get rough for you. i love you!

@sturniqloo - lili, we started talking through bri and honestly it’s been AMAZING. you are such a hype woman fr and your bots that you make are to fucking die for. you’re always so kind and was willing to help me with my dealer!chris when i was having a hard time trying to figure him out. i always love talking to you even if we have such a big time difference. i love you!

@endereies - kay, we just started talking about a week ago (or less) and it feels like i’ve known you for a while which is crazy. i love spilling my thoughts to you and it’s always fun to see little pictures or videos of what you’re doing when you send them to me. if i’m being honest, i was also nervous to talk to you because i see you as one of the bigger accounts on here, and your writing is to die for. but, you’re such a sweet person and someone who isn’t afraid to share their mind (dirty or not LMAO). i love you!

@victoriassadcorner - vee, i met you through bri as-well. i know we haven’t talked much, but it’s always fun seeing you and bri interact and knowing that i can jump in the conversation and you guys won’t mind. you are such a kind hearted soul and deserve every good thing that you get. (we need to talk more!!). i love you!

@phone4pills - slow, we don’t talk very often or interact as much as i want to but i will make sure to do that more! you’re such an inspiration and someone i also look up to when i’m writing or making au’s. you are so so sweet and gentle, letting me come into your inbox and talk about anything and everything when i do decide to. your writing and au’s are LITERALLY amazing. i’m so glad i was able to meet someone like you. i love you!

@cayleeuhithinknott - caylee, we may also not interact much, but when we do i absolutely love it! i was here for your other account before it got banned, being an anon on it because i still get scared to make requests for things or send in ideas even when i shouldn’t be. but when i did reveal myself, you were so happy and it felt like such a relief. i’m still sad that tumblr decided to remove your other account for no reason because your works on there were amazing and your works now still are! i definitely want to talk more in the future! i love you!

@bernardsbendystraws - rose, you were someone i didn’t even think i would be mutuals with. but i’m glad that we are. when ever i talk to you or pop up in your inbox, you’re always so kind and sweet. you’re someone i definitely look up to big time when it comes to writing, seeing how you piece your works together and how good they are and how much sentimental value they have to you makes me admire you that much more. and you’re such a talented writer. we may not talk much, but it’s always so fun when we do! i love you!

@sagesturns - sage, i always love when you pop into my inbox! telling me about what you’re doing or how your day is going and asking about mine in return. i always love hearing about what you’re working on too!! and your writing? i absolutely love it. you’re such an easy person to talk to and ease into conversations with! and i just want you to know that i am proud of you! i love you!

@sturniololuv08 - bri, honestly it was a surprise on how easily i slid into conversation with you one day when you started talking to me. we’ve only been talking for a little over a month and you’ve been nothing but an amazing person! and you’ve introduced me to some really great people like @chrissbug333 and @abbilmao . your writing is absolutely amazing and i love hearing all the wild ideas that run through your head and what things you’re writing and hearing the process of how they’re written out. you work so hard, not just in writing, but in real life too. always busting your ass and not getting enough sleep, that’s something i admire because i want to be just as hard working and driven as you are even if it’s hard to be. i love you!

@marrykisskilled - i absolutely ADORE you. you always like my posts and when you talk to me you’re just the SWEETEST. you also reblog my writing when i post and it makes me so so happy. i would absolutely love to talk to you more! i know you’re such a kind person just from how you interact with others and myself. i love you!

@strniloslvts - angie, you are such a talented writer!! your book that you’re writing right now is absolutely amazing so far and i LOVE IT. i also love when you come into my inbox a million times a day to ask how i’m doing or to tell me about what you’re doing. you always interact with my posts too and it makes me happy to know that you enjoy them! i definitely want to talk more to you whenever you have the chance! i love you!

@bluestriips - adelaide, you are SUCH A HYPE WOMAN. you’re always reblogging my posts and writings and i absolutely adore you for it!! you’re always so sweet to me and everyone i see you interact with! i haven’t gotten a chance to read your stuff on wattpad but i promise i will get to it and when i do i will let you know how much i LOVE IT. we don’t talk much but i want to! you seem like such a nice person and i can see it in little pieces that are here on tumblr. i love you!

@biieberfever - you are always sending me ideas and asks about my writings and au’s! i have you to thank for my adhd!reader au that i write for. we may not talk much, but your writing is amazing even if you’re only starting out! i love when we’re able to talk because you’re ideas are so good and i just know that when you post more writings, theyre just going to get better! i love you!

@ariestrxsh - aries, your writing is LITERALLY AMAZING. every-time i read it, it literally makes me just want to keep coming back because you have such an amazing way of constructing your works. your pizza boy chris and chratt fics? 😮‍💨 blows me away every time i read them. you’re so sweet to your anons and to whoever talks to you! and your advice you give them or telling them it’ll be okay really shows how much of an amazing person you are. i would love to talk more! i definitely have to pop into your inbox more lmao. i love you!

@chrislilcumslvt - marls, you are normally always one of the first people to like any of my things when i post and are just so so active. i literally love how sweet you are and how funny you are when interacting with others. and i see the way you comfort people, i know it takes a toll to be a person to comfort others but you are such an amazing soul! and how the first time we ever talked in my dm’s was to show you what i looked like and how SWEET YOU WERE TO ME??? i literally love you so much and want to talk to you more!!

@sweetshuga - isa, i am SO proud of you and how far you’ve come in such a short amount of time. the hype and love you get on your fics are so very deserved. your writing is phenomenal and i eat it up EVERY time. i loved our little talk session we had the other night, you just get me and i LOVE IT. you are literally so pretty and so so so talented and kind. i’m so glad i was able to stumble across and meet you! we definitely need to talk more <3

and to @her-favorite-deactivated2024111 who is no longer on here - kendra, you were the first person i ever started to talk to when i didn’t even have any writings on my blog. i always sent you ideas i had or little requests as talking to you through your inbox was such fun. you are such a sweet and kind person and i was lucky enough to have found you because if i didn’t, i probably wouldn’t be posting my writings and i wouldn’t have found all these amazing people i know today. you pushed me to post what i wrote, telling me that the right audience would love it and support me for it, and you were right. your writings were so amazing and i’m still sad that you decided to leave. but, i know it was for your own health! i’ll still be here when you decide to come back, for now i know you deserve a break to focus on yourself. i love you so much <3

[achilles-rage]

achilles-rage’s twelve days of christmas

day eleven: wrapped in red (ft. eddie diaz)

summary: with the chaotic weeks leading up to christmas meaning that you and eddie have barely had a moment alone, you decide to surprise him with an early christmas gift.

word count: 2.7k

series masterlist

a/n: sorry this is late, i’ve been having trouble writing smut lately. i hope this is okay!! and also i can’t believe this is the second last day of twelve days!! i don’t want it to end!! at least i still have one more day, and possibly a part two to my rocker secret santa fic (depending on how i feel). anyway, enjoy<33

warnings: smut, hint at predator/prey kink(??), no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader

With the holidays coming up, life with Eddie has been extremely chaotic. If you’re not anxiously looking for gifts that Christopher has asked for – that every other kid in LA wants too, apparently – then you’re shopping for gifts for your friends and family, or planning Christmas parties, or attending Christmas parties. Honestly, you’re barely even sure that you or Eddie has had a moment to yourself since December 1st.

This also means that you’ve barely gotten a moment with Eddie for weeks, and you’re starting to get a little bit restless. Other than the occasional touches when you’re both just waking up; barely conscious enough to open your eyes and hands wandering aimlessly and with no real intentions, you can’t remember the last time Eddie has properly fucked you.

So, you came up with an idea: wrap yourself up and surprise him with some festive lingerie. It’s, admittedly, a little silly, but you’re sure that Eddie will appreciate it. At the very least, he’ll get a good laugh out of it.

You already have the perfect wrapping paper; a bright red, sparkly design with small white snowflakes, so all you have to do is cut it and tape it together. You decide to only make a little skirt out of it, instead picking out a beautiful green lingerie set with a small red bow on the bra, and one on the panties. You even add a gift tag reading “To: Eddie, From: Santa”

Before Eddie gets home, you get ready; putting on your set and your skirt, and then you decide at the last minute to put two big red Christmas bows on your bra, right where the straps meet the cups on the front.

You’re extremely proud of your skirt; you’d found a tutorial online for a pleated wrapping paper skirt, and it turned out perfectly. Now, all you have to do is wait for Eddie to get home.

Christopher is at Buck’s for the night, probably baking cookies and building gingerbread houses if you know them at all, so you have your boyfriend all to yourself.

When you hear the front door open and shut, you smile to yourself, then step out of the hallway and into Eddie’s sight. He’s in the middle of greeting you when his eyes land on you, and the words die on his lips as he takes you in.

“Why are you wearing wrapping paper?” he asks after a moment, brow raised as he focuses on the skirt. He tries extremely hard to not focus on your tits, otherwise, he might rip your skirt to shreds in a desperate attempt to see you naked underneath him, and he’s not sure what the skirt is for.

“Because I’m your present tonight. Do you- do you not like it?” you ask sheepishly, feeling your cheeks heat up as you look down at your outfit. You thought it was silly, sure, but you didn’t think he’d hate it. Instead of being met with a smile, he just looks confused, and it’s making your stomach churn and your hands fidget at your sides.

“No, no. I fucking love it, just wasn’t sure what it was for.” he reassures you, quickly closing the distance between you two and grabbing one of your hands. He gives you a smile, and you smile back, nodding slowly.

He raises your hand over your head and urges you to do a spin, and as you turn, he tries to look at every inch of exposed skin. He takes in your soft belly, and your chest sitting perfectly in your lace bra, and your bare legs, and his mouth waters.

When you’re turned to face him again, he pulls you toward him, moving the hand he’s holding to drape over his shoulder and then placing both of his hands on your waist. It’s now that you can see the lust in his eyes, and your smile widens as you feel your whole body get hot. Having his undivided attention after so long feels so fucking good.

“I missed having you like this, mi amor. I’m gonna make sure you don’t leave the bedroom until tomorrow morning. If you can even walk tomorrow morning.” he purrs, and you giggle softly, rolling your eyes.

“You like it that much?” you ask, eyes darting across his face so close to you as his eyes travel down your body again. He lets out a growl at the sight of your tits sitting so perfectly for him, and his next words come out low and raspy, which has your squeezing your legs together.

“I fucking love it. I feel like a little kid right now; all I want to do is rip the wrapping off my present.” You bring your hand up to run through the hair on the back of his head, which makes him finally look back up into your eyes.

“So do it.” you tell him, raising a challenging brow. He smirks, and lets his hands run over the paper and down to your hips.

He lets out a quiet chuckle when he reads the gift tag you’ve attached to the waist of your skirt, and then in one quick motion, he rips the paper off of you.

You’re left in just your matching bra and panties, and he groans when he sees the tiny red bow sitting on the waistband of your panties. Like a present. All for him.

His hands are gripping your hips hard as he looks down at your body, a grip threatening to leave bruises as he drinks in all your dips and curves. He can’t believe you did this all for him. If you were to ask him what he wanted for Christmas, he’d say that this is it. Just you.

“Bedroom. Now.” he growls, and without another word, you turn on your heel, practically vibrating in excitement. He smacks your ass as soon as you turn, and you squeal at the impact, looking over your shoulder at him as you keep walking.

He has a predatory look in his eyes as he watches you, and when he begins to stalk after you, eyes narrowed and chest puffed out, you let out something between a giggle and a squeal. You begin to run to the bedroom, your heart racing in your chest as you begin to feel like you’re being hunted.

He runs after you, footsteps heavy as they hit the hardwood, and when you both get to his room, he grabs your hips and pulls you back against his chest.

“Uh uh, why are you trying to get away? You’re my gft, remember? I get to play with you however I want.” he rasps in your ear, causing shivers to shoot down your spine. You can feel his hard length pressing against your back, and you let out a soft whimper, slowly moving your ass back against him.

He lets out a hiss as his grip gets tighter against your hips, then turns you around and pushes you onto the bed in one quick movement.

You bounce gently as you hit the mattress, and when you look up at him again, you back up on the bed, watching him step closer and drink in your plush figure. He pulls his shirt off quickly, and then his pants and boxers, and when he’s completely naked, he crawls onto the bed and towards you.

He meets your lips hungrily, his hips grinding against you and letting you feel the hardness of his cock. Your hands go to his sides as you kiss him with equal fervour, letting your tongues meet each other as you feel your brain go fuzzy. He’s barely started and you already feel so overwhelmed with his touch, and his attention.

He moves his kisses down to your neck, nipping and sucking as he goes, and when he reaches the top of your bra, he leans back and looks down at your dazed expression.

“Don’t know if I want to keep this on or rip it off of you.” he tells you in a low tone, letting his eyes move back down to your lace covered chest as he licks his lips.

“Well, what are you supposed to do with the wrapping on a gift?” you tease softly, quirking a brow with a small smirk.

He chuckles, then shrugs his shoulders as he looks back up into your eyes.

“Good point. Just wanna see you in it for a little while longer.” he mumbles. He presses one more hot kiss to your lips, then leans back on his knees and moves his hands up your legs until he gets to the edge of your panties.

He pulls them to the side quickly, then grabs the base of his cock and brings the tip down to slide between your folds. You both let out soft moans, and you spread your legs wider, letting him move freely as he slides the head of his cock along your clit.

You’re both desperate to feel all of each other, to get the sweet release you’ve been waiting weeks for, but Eddie is more patient than you, it seems. He wants to see you cum before he actually fucks you.

You sit up on your elbows as you watch him in a daze, biting your lip as he taps his cock against your dripping pussy.

It’s hard to resist the urge to bury himself to the hilt, but he holds back for now, enjoying your soft mewls and whimpers as he drags his cock through your folds in achingly slow movements.

“Eds, please.” you whine softly after a while, your eyes pleading as you look up at him. He chuckles softly, then pushes himself into you, just barely. He lets himself rock against you gently, hand firmly gripping the base of his cock as he lets his tip enter your desperate cunt.

He switches between this, and tapping the head of his cock against your clit, and pretty soon, you’re both close to the edge.

Your moans have gotten breathier, and your hands are gripping the sheets beside you as you feel that ball forming in your lower belly. And Eddie is slowly losing the ability to hold back; his cock moving deeper and deeper each time his tip slips between your glistening folds.

“You gonna cum for me, baby? You’re so pretty when you cum.” he rasps, and you nod quickly, letting out a soft whimper.

He chuckles lowly and pulls his cock away completely, instead using his hand to fist his cock as his other hand comes down to circle two fingers around your clit. You throw your head back as you near the edge, but when you hear him tut softly, you bring your head back up so he can meet your eyes.

“Look at me, baby. Watch me when you cum.” he tells you sternly, and in a few more seconds, you’re both falling over the edge with loud moans. He covers your cunt in his release, groaning at the sight of his seed painting your slick folds and dripping down onto the sheets below you.

He barely gives you enough time to come down from your high before he’s flipping you over on the bed. His hands move to your ass, massaging at the flesh before he brings a hand back and spanks you hard. You whimper, letting your body lurch forward in response to the surprise, and then he spanks you again, just to hear the harsh sound of skin meeting skin.

“Gorgeous, mi amor. And all mine.” he murmurs, then rips your panties off you and tosses them to the side.

You gasp at the sound of fabric ripping, and try to look over your shoulder at him with narrowed eyes.

“Eddie, I just bought those!” you argue, although you’re not really mad. They were expensive, but you can’t deny that the action has desire pooling in your belly.

“I’ll replace them.” is all he says before he reaches down to your hips and brings you up onto your knees, face now pushed into the mattress as he spreads your ass cheeks and takes in the sight of your pulsing cunt.

You shiver when you feel the head of his cock teasing your folds again, but it doesn’t last long; he’s desperate to feel you wrapped around him completely. When he pushes into you, he buries himself to the hilt, letting his hips meet yours as he grips at your flesh hard.

You moan into the sheets, body moving forward at the force behind his actions, and when he pulls out almost completely just to bully into you again, you moan louder.

His hips pick up their pace, and as they snaps against yours, flesh slapping against flesh, his hands roam your body, squeezing and massaging at your ass and your thighs.

“Taking me so well, mi amor. Fuck-” he groans, tip kissing your cervix as he relishes in the way you squeeze his cock so perfectly.

He watches the way your ass and thighs jiggle with each thrust, and he has to tilt his head back and close his eyes for a moment, focusing on not cumming too soon.

You moan loudly under him, eyes clouded with pure bliss as he fucks into you roughly, hands eager to touch every inch of skin. When you reach your hand back in a desperate attempt to feel him, he grabs your hand and brings it behind your back, then moves your other one to the same spot and holds your wrists there with one large hand.

“You like that, baby, huh?” he asks, and all you can do is nod, whimpering as his hips meet yours harshly.

When you begin to push your ass back towards him, he growls, then releases your wrists and brings both hands around to your front and squeezes your soft tummy between his fingers. His thrusts momentarily stop as his front presses against your back, but when he pulls you up with him, back still pressed against him, his hips continue their unrelenting pace.

One hand goes back to your hip, helping you move back to meet his thrusts while the other cups one of your tits and squeezes it. He rolls your nipple between his fingers as he feels it bounce with each thrust of his cock, and he can feel himself beginning to twitch inside of you as he gets close to the edge.

“You wanna cum with me, baby? Cum on my cock?” he murmurs in your ear.

“Yes, please. Please, Eds.” you whine, and he smirks, moving his hips harder, if at all possible.

“Cum with me, baby. Let me feel you.” he tells you sternly, and in no time you’re clenching around him as you cum.

When he feels the way your pussy squeezes his cock as you let go with a loud whimper, he lets go, filling you to the brim as he keeps himself buried deep inside you.

You feel him paint your walls with his cum, and you lean your head back against his shoulder in pure bliss, letting your eyes flutter shut as you ride out your high.

He slowly pulls out with a groan, and lets his hands travel up and down your sides as you lean back against him.

“God, I’ve missed this.” he tells you quietly, feeling himself come down from his high, your skin under his fingertips helping to ground him and forget all about the stress of the holidays.

“I love you.” you whisper, trying to catch your breath as you feel your pulsing cunt clenching around nothing. You can feel the mess between your thighs, but you hardly care.

If you know Eddie at all, he’s not done with you yet, anyway.

“I love you, mi amor.” he whispers back, then kisses the side of your neck before helping you lay back down on the bed.

“That was the best gift I’ve ever gotten.” he teases softly as he crawls over you.

You giggle as he begins to press kisses across your face, not leaving an inch of skin unkissed.

“I’m glad.”

notes: likes/comments/reblogs would be much appreciated if you liked this<33

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[jayjmaybanks]

𖤓˚𓅆𓇢𓆸 navigation ⋆.˚𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋⋆☾

☼𓋼𓍊 𓆏𖧧 hi I'm caitlyn! ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ -ོ 𓅰

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If we’re moots, ILY (even if we’ve never talked!!) p.s please don’t be scared to message me whenever, I don’t bite. We can be awkward together akdjfjjd!!! I wanna hear about the things you love or whatever you wanna scream/fan girl about or how your day’s going or literally anything you want to tell me!! I care and I want to listen !! ♡ anyways thanks so much for following me and I’m glad we somehow found each other on this hellsite! Muah!! Sending a big hug your way besties!!!

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☆ about me:

pronouns: she/her

animal & nature lover, directioner since 2011 (ot5), biologist and photographer by day - fangirl blogger at all other times, scorpio

music: love pop, rock, lofi, really just anything tbh, I'm literally always listening to music ALWAYS

shows: castle, lucifer, obx, ted lasso, young royals, virgin river, sex education, psych, adow, heartstopper, bridgerton, & sooo many more

movies: the little mermaid, anyone but you, pride & prejudice, sleeping with other people, la la land, the greatest showman, shazam, narnia, barbie & a ton more

watch list/to read list: NEVER ENDING (but listen...I am always open to suggestions...honestly please send me reccs I would absolutely love to hear what you guys have to say/what you're currently into)

drafts/queue: also never ending (the struggle is soooo real being in so many fandoms afsjjgk)

I’d love to make more friends on here, please say hi! I'd love to talk & make new friends (although I suck at replying quickly akjdfl but I def still wanna chat w you)

[waywardstation]

So when I played Violet a while ago and I took Miraidon to climb the mountain that surrounds the great crater I came across some Garchomp floating around near the top.

It looks ridiculous and funny in the game when they just hover in place and then turn towards you to pursue you… I just saw a video of that on X and it reminded me of Jörmun and “I wont leave you behind“ and… is Jörmun due to her size able to fly???

If so then she got a hell lot more dangerous in my book. Maybe she isn’t due to being battle-worn but she’s still fast!

OHH OH OH I LOVE THIS QUESTION THANK YOU NOW I GET TO GUSH ABOUT IT

This is one aspect of her that I’ve been fighting over with myself for a long time, because depending on whether she can fly or not will split her up into two different designs and behavior/fighting dynamics.

Jörmun is an Alpha. In IWLYB I really emphasize how massive she is and how while not literal, her build gives the appearance that her musculature has outgrown her skeleton. She is HEAVY.

I’ve had two thoughts on this — either she has become overgrown to the point she can no longer fly (and can only glide short distances) or I give her a much bigger wingspan to accommodate for her body. (Because in my head I do imaging that realistically those flaps on those arms help them fly)

Option A would sort of keep the same Garchomp build, but Option B would turn Jörmun into a wyvern/pterosaur with the sheer size of the wings I’d need to give her. An actual dragon guarding the mountain.

It would be SO SO FUN to write (AND DRAW) her like this big beast with huge wings to give her flight — because you’re right, I think that would make her so much scarier. You could not escape her on land or in the sky.

But, as of now, I’ve been writing her as option A — she isn’t capable of flight due to growing out of those wings, but she can manage to glide short distances. Because it has been fun writing her as this hulking monster that is almost too heavy for her own legs, and crashes back down to the ground with the struggle to fly.

Also, it has given me a reason to keep her secluded up in the mountains; if Jörmun could fly, she would be an absolute terror to the Pearl Clan settlement (and she is at some point in HFBE), but if I strip her of flight, she will probably opt to stay higher up in the mountains — it would be easy for her to glide down, but she would not want to climb all the way back up that mountain.

TLDR, I go back and forth on this, but right now I have that she can only glide short distances, as she cannot fly.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK ANON!!! :)

[fitpacs]

<3

[floral-hex]

Nice taste in music you got there 👀

You’re the nicest person on earth.

[nyhne]

.

[ohlovxr]

guys it’s my birthday and i’m gonna use it as an excuse to be the cheekiest fic-writer-who-hasn’t-had-anything-to-offer-you-guys-in-over-a-year and beg you guys to send me any and all joel miller/any pedro pascal recs. specifically long fics found on ao3 if you know any pls pls pls 😭❤️

[autopsytableromance]

One funny thing to me is that sometimes my bestie will send me reels like this one

And I have to be like. Bestie I appreciate that you’re on my “side” ig but 1 I’m just having fun and 2 in no way did he treat me like his bf and our FIRST text conversation he was like “hey I don’t want you to get the wrong idea bc I don’t want a relationship”

[harmonizewithechoes]

.

[csswingandeasy]

I’m listening to the audiobook of Gordon Brown’s autobiography because it was too boring to read. Sorry, Gordo.

[thewingedwolf]

one goofy ass thing i like about my job is we all really like having staff feedback after programs (like after in service, after summer reading, etc) because it just makes it easier to make it actually helpful and easier next time around and that’s all we want right, like PERSONALLY i don’t want to be anxious about a program and dreading it all year, which means i get to do what i Love which is offer my opinion constructively so i can be like “i think some people just don’t understand paylocity, it is a little confusing & for them, going through that app is this scary time sink so they don’t open it ever.” and no one is taking it personally because five other people wrote in “beanstack scares me” and “i’m not using teams” and we can just adjust our expectations of our older coworkers instead of writing people up for it akskd.

[harellan]

Hey just wanted to reach out and ask how are you feeling.

Working cry is hard. I went through it a couple of weeks ago, too, but crying is part of the stress cycle; if you won't let the tears drop, you won't get the relief afterward.

To be honest with you, right after crying at work I had one of the best nights in months, because I was so relieved everything felt lighter.

I hope things get better for you, and I hope this crying makes your week feel lighter.

And if it doesn't, I'm sending you a virtual hug 🫂

Thank you so much for this. I’m feeling better now that I’ve let it out. ❤️❤️❤️

My partner and I have been trying to move to a different state for a while now (we were hoping to be there by now) and we’ve just had no luck trying to find jobs. It’s hard when you’ve mentally checked out of your current job but don’t have anything else lined up yet and I think that’s what got to me today. Add shitty work computer issues on top of that and this is what you get lol