#that’s true whether you think the black family was abusive or not or what you think of regulus

[swords-and-starlight]

i hate when people make out sirius and james to be super uncaring or manipulative because like yeah, i think they’re very morally gray but they also joined the order and cared about muggle rights and became animaguses for their friend despite being raised to hate his kind and fell in love with muggleborns and halfbloods and became best friends with the shy quiet kid and were drawn to remus because of his kindness and trusted soft peter with their lives and-

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 3 . Abandoned, Adopted (2) - Cale/Reader

tags: abuse as the norm, reader sees nothing wrong with what they've experienced

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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Sigh

“I was gonna reveal him later while we’re talking but might as well.”

Cale casually stated as he handed _____ a towel. It sounded as if he was describing the menu for lunch. As if he didn't let out an exasperated sigh before speaking. Contrary to his nonchalant voice and demeanour, Cale is actually a bit worried. He is worried at the high possibility of the healer not being able to compose themself at the sight of a dragon.

“I am the great Raon Miru and my great self is now 4 years old!”

“Hello Raon Miru-nim, it’s nice to meet such a great and mighty existence.”

_____ bowed respectfully at the cute dragon that Cale is currently drying with a towel. The bow only lasted two seconds before the healer grabbed a new and unused towel.

“You dried Hong but didn’t dry yourself On.”

Their gaze asked On if it was okay to dry them to which the silver kitten nodded before moving closer to _____.

Cale finds this development unexpected, but good unexpected. In fact, he likes it so much. He likes _____’s calmness despite the visible surprise in their eyes.

Some minutes and towels later the two can finally get to the main topic of today’s conversation.

“Your adoptive family has proclaimed you dead, what is your plan now?”

“Uhm, honestly young master Cale-nim-”

“Just Cale is fine, even if that shitty family of yours proclaimed you dead you are still a noble. We are still equal in status.”

“Huh? Uh uhm, okay…”

_____ was flabbergasted as this was the first time someone said they were a noble. Well, not that they have much reference as most of their conversations are with their adoptive family, but it was still shocking to the healer.

“Then Cale-ssi..? No? Uhm, Cale-sunbae[1]..? I have no concrete plan. I knew that someday I was gonna be thrown away when I was deemed useless. I just didn’t expect my usefulness to end this early.”

The healer was hesitant in their new way to address the young master. However, Cale looked more relaxed being called sunbae so _____ deemed it okay to call him as such.

“Then you just have to find a new place that will see you as useful right? I think this is the perfect place for that.”

_____ looked at Cale in disbelief. They may not know much information about… well almost everything, but they have also heard about the rumours of Cale being trash.

Whether that was real or Cale was faking it didn’t matter. 

The point still stands that someone who made a name for themself as trash would not need someone like _____. Not with all the burdens and hard work that comes with them as a package. Not only that but the young master seems to have some sort of power that lets him have full vitality at all times.

So why would such a person take in _____ who is only good at healing others?

“Cale-sunbae taking someone in like me is bound to cause trouble. I am aware that taking me in means hiding me as I cannot reveal myself right now. I am also aware that requires a lot of effort to do.”

“Don’t worry about that, I’m not the son of a rich noble for nothing. All you have to think of is whether you’ll accept my offer and what you want to do. Do you want to take revenge?”

The black dragon that’s lying down on Cale’s bed with the kittens perked its head up at the mention of revenge. He may not know what _____’s story is but he feels a kinship with them at the known fact that the human his human is talking to also had a hard life before meeting Cale.

“Revenge? Oh no that has never crossed my mind. Why would I when they provided for me? It’s not like they did anything wrong?”

“THAT’S NOT TRUE LITTLE _____!!! This great and mighty being that has lived for 4 years could tell what they did was not right!!”

Everyone else in the room got a whiplash while the black dragon was enraged. Cale was confused at how such a thing could be considered normal.

“In any case, if you don’t want to make them pay it’s fine. If you ever change your mind just tell me.”

Cale Henituse is now responsible for this person, and that responsibility includes supporting them in their endeavours. 

So Cale lets it be… at least for now.

Tap

A silver kitten taps Cale’s arm using her paw. It was nighttime, and the children averaging seven years old were already lying in bed with Cale. The other two children are already asleep, leaving only the redhead and the silver kitten awake.

“What is it? Can’t sleep?”

“No that’s not it. About _____…”

The half-asleep Cale woke up at the mention of the newest addition to their group. Cale is pretty sure the healer is harmless but if the children say otherwise then further evaluation is due.

“Well, they’ve been adjusting well here in Harris Village and get along with everyone.”

Cale agrees with On’s evaluation. It has been a few days since came back to Harris Village and _____ has been doing well so far. Actually, they’ve been thriving as everyone seems to like them. 

They’re shy and don't speak unless someone else initiates the conversation. However, they are respectful and helpful to everyone. Because of that, they get along well with Cale’s people.

If that’s the case then why does On’s face say that there seems to be a problem?

“There’s something weird about their body- no I think it’s their ability. We don’t know how it exactly works right?”

On had been the closest to _____ during these past few days along with the other two children. Partly because the three have taken it upon themselves to observe the healer more, and partly because their mere presence comforts the children.

The healer doesn’t smile or laugh but everyone can tell that they truly enjoy themselves whenever they are out playing or exploring with the kids and Mary.

Even though they can’t see a physical smile on the healer’s face, them being happy still lifts everyone’s moods. 

Even Cale’s

He may try to deny it, but On has caught him a couple of times already.

Speaking of the man, he is just currently petting On’s fur while waiting for her to tell him more.

“At first I thought it was just their old wounds. They were hurt pretty badly so it wouldn’t be surprising if it takes a long time to heal since they can’t heal themself. But the wounds seem to be changing places.

I’m not so sure about that one because they wear long sleeves so it's hard to see, but I also noticed that their mood seems to drastically falter when they heal someone. More than any healer I’ve seen during our travels. It’s almost as if they seem to be in pain.”

It was true, it’s hard to see any part of _____’s body because they wear a hooded robe like Mary. The healer even went as far as covering everything but their eyes with cloth[2]. This was because they didn’t want to bother Raon with a disguise.

“We can’t be sure yet about the wounds but the other things might just be because they aren’t in optimal condition yet. They have always had a weak body. For now, I’ll them to lessen their use of their healing powers.”

With that On’s mind was put to ease and she finally fell asleep.

However, another person’s mind is not at ease.

Cale who was supposed to be slacking off felt a sense of worry. Experience from reading so many fantasy novels gave him an inkling as to how _____’s ability might work.

But nothing is confirmed yet so he set his worries aside for now and resorted to observing.

While they were in Harris Village nothing seemed out of place. Well, honestly how could there be when everything is so peaceful? The only things they were healing were minor scratches and wounds that mostly stemmed from accidents or training.

When they got to the main territory though…

To be precise it was during the festival when they were looking for hidden experts in the territory. _____ noticed the scratches and wounds on Lily’s body from training and wanted to heal them.

Of course, they didn’t say anything but at this point, Cale knows them well enough to see what they want.

So Cale told the healer to go ahead and heal Lily, and replenish her energy while they were at it too.

They did and Cale didn’t see anything unusual. But then again it’s not like Lily was badly injured. The worst thing she got was this long scratch-like wound from her forearm to below her elbow. Therefore Cale that would be the end of it and he’d have to find another chance to see if his suspicions were correct.

“Healer-nim are you okay? That scratch looks pretty fresh.”

Hans’ voice made Cale turn around to see what he was talking about.

All of them are currently roaming around the night market. _____ in particular was looking at a stall that sells hand-made stuffed toys. It ranges from fluffy teddy bears to cute crocheted dolls. 

When Cale turned to see what was going on, he did so in a way that looked as if he was just looking around the market and not listening to their conversation. He could see the healer midway to reaching a red teddy bear that was holding some kind of silver shield. 

Is it just him or does that toy oddly look like him?

Anyways ignoring the cute but oddly designed teddy bear, Cale could see that the healer’s sleeves rolled down because the placement of the teddy bear was pretty high. Because of that, their arm could be seen, and that arm was full of scars.

“Ah yes, Hans-ssi- I mean Hans. I got this earlier but it doesn’t hurt.”

“I see, but it would still be better to put some bandages over it.”

“Yes, I’ll make sure to do that when we get home.”

The scars kind of look like Lily’s scratches but one could argue that it was from _____’s wounds a few weeks ago.

However, there was no denying that a big scratch looked just like Lily’s wound from earlier.

Sure it looks better than what Lily had but Cale knows it’s the same thing.

But accusations are just accusations, Cale still doesn’t have solid proof. It could be that it wasn’t actually Lily’s wound and they just got injured earlier as there were a lot of people.

Cale also doesn’t think he should suddenly just bring it up. He doesn’t want to cause unwarranted worry and panic when he and On are still speculating things.

So he lets it go for now.

He continued strolling at the night market to look for hidden experts and buy whatever the kids wanted.

And if that shopping haul included that one red teddy bear with a shield that’s current in Raon’s spacial dimension so they could give it later to _____ even though they didn’t ask for it?

Let’s just go with Cale’s reasoning that the kids persuaded him to buy it.

[1] was gonna use -ssi at first but the rules for using ssi confuse the more I read about it. I didn't want to use Cale-nim because it's Choi Han's signature. Anyways just think of their relationship as like a sunbae and hoobae at work since reader is working for Cale now.

[2] kinda like alberu's appearance when he went to the jungle as a dark elf.

[misslavenderlady]

A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock ‘N Roll - Chapter 15

Summary: Michael and David have been thoroughly enjoying their time as a couple. But while they do have plenty of loved ones that support them, there may still be quite a few intense challenges to overcome.

Full credit to @silvermaplealder for the gif of David and Michael!

TW: Chapter contains mentions of abuse and mental health/stress

Heyyyyy....so uh.....it's been a year. Whoopsie. I genuinely am sorry to keep everyone waiting. This past year has been a rollercoaster of events. I hope you understand and still welcome my fic with this update 💜

Previous Chapter *nsft chapter* Next Chapter

To be with your one, true love was something that only a few lucky souls in the world got to experience. Whether someone found their happiness with a romantic partner, a platonic friend, or a loving family, it was true bliss to be with the person you cared most about. David knew he had found that kind of love when he had crossed paths with his boys long ago.

But Michael? This was an entirely different feeling. Something fresh and exciting and full of hope. Michael was the first person he wanted to see when he awoke after sunset, and the one he would kiss farewell before hiding away from the sunrise. What made their newfound love even sweeter was the fact that he could tell Michael felt the same way. 

For the first couple of weeks after they made love together, David would occasionally peek into Michael's mind, ever-so curious as to whether or not the cowboy was still pleased with their relationship. It made his heart soar whenever he heard thoughts of joy, adoration, and occasional lust. 

Though as the season shifted from summer into autumn, David found no use in his vampire tricks any longer. He didn't need to pry into Michael's mind to understand him. It was far easier to notice when the brunet wanted something or was enjoying their time together. It was interesting, and certainly not unwelcome. Change could be a good thing, and Michael was proof of that.

And he had full intentions of enjoying every moment they shared together. Tonight was one of those times.

“You really trust me enough to be here for this?”

“‘Course I do! Don’t you worry yourself, alright?”

Michael had his hand fully grasped around David’s, eagerly guiding him to the barn on the Emerson property. As per usual, they had just finished enjoying a filling, delicious dinner made from scratch by Lucy. Now Michael was ready to wrap up some chores around the place before spending the night having fun. 

Usually, David would take the opportunity to sneak away with the other boys in order to find and drain a victim. Lucy knew how to keep their bellies full, but they still relied on the taste of fresh blood to keep their vampiric powers going strong. But this time was a bit different. Michael had asked David to join him for one particular task he had to do. Something that was incredibly important, according to him. 

“I think you’re really gonna like this, David,” Michael assured him with a bright smile. “It’s one of my favorite things to do ‘round here.”

David’s curiosity grew with each step as they walked further into the barn, the sound of hay crunching under their boots filling his ears all the while. It was the only thing he heard until a second, much louder sound surprised him.

“MOOOOOOOO”

It shouldn’t have been a surprise to hear the noise of a farm animal in a place like this, but what truly caught the vampire off guard was hearing a bold noise come out of a small creature. 

Standing in one corner of the barn was a little calf. A fluffy coat of black and white fur, a shiny, wet snout, and a swishing tail. She seemed to perk up at the sight of the two boys, as if it knew they were there to give her plenty of attention. Michael giggled at such a sight. 

“Yeah yeah, I know, girl,” Michael said. “You know what’s comin’, dontcha?”

The cowboy leaned down to get on the little cow’s level, giving her a nice scratch under her chin as a greeting. Her big, brown eyes fluttered shut, and she leaned into his hand more, no doubt enjoying the sensation. While he kept petting her, Michael turned his gaze back to David.

“This little lady is Cookie! She’s a Lineback. Sam and I picked her up at an auction across town last week!” he explained. “She’s spoiled rotten ‘cause of how plum cute she is~”

You’d have to be an absolute monster not to melt at the sight of such a sweet little creature. And that was saying something, since David technically was such a thing. He softly smiled at the calf, kneeling down to meet her at eye level. She was still a bit spooked, backing up suddenly when he moved towards her. A twinge of guilt ran through him at the sight. 

“Aww don’t feel bad, David! She’s just a little shy when it comes to meetin’ new people,'' Michael assured him. “Besides, you’ll become her best friend once you give her this.”

Michael reached into a bag he had brought along for their trip. It took no more than a moment for him to fish out exactly what he needed. In his hand, he held a large, rectangular plastic bottle with a thick, white liquid sloshing around inside. A rubber nipple was secured at the end of it, much like a baby bottle. 

“She’s still bein’ bottle fed. I do this a couple times a day. Since she doesn’t have her mama, this’ll be how she gets big and strong,” he explained, giving the bottle a light shake. Cookie’s eyes widened at the sight while her tail swished around some more. The two boys giggled at the sight of her excitement. It was like seeing a dog wag its tail when being offered a treat. 

Michael gave David a smile as he held out the bottle for him to take. “Why don’t you try feedin’ her?”

“Well, I’ve never done this before, so I may need some help so that I don’t look like an idiot,” David admitted. 

“No worries! It’s a lot easier than ya think!”

After giving him some pointers on how to position the bottle and how to get her to latch on, Michael stood back in order to let David do his thing. Careful to follow the advice given, David allowed Cookie to come up to him and take a drink at her own pace. Sure enough, she became a lot more friendly with him once she got a taste of the milk. 

A bright smile spread across his face as he watched the calf drink. Michael was right when he said it was easier than he realized. She snorted and gulped, noisily taking as much milk as she wanted. He had to admit, it was quite precious. It really felt like he was bonding with the little creature. 

That was, until she pulled away and pushed her head against the bottle, causing it to slam against his leg. 

“Ow! What was that for?”

Michael let out an amused laugh, clearly enjoying seeing David get flustered by a baby animal. 

“She’s nudging! When calves are around their mothers, they do that to the udders as a way to get more of the milk to come out. But since it’s just you with a bottle, she thinks the same thing will happen ‘cause she doesn’t know the difference. Hurts like a bitch, don’t it?”

“It’s a good thing she’s cute. Otherwise, I’d have to scold her,” David said with a smirk. Cookie’s ears fluttered while she went back to work on drinking her milk. 

The two of them enjoyed more of Cookie’s feeding time, encouraging her and cooing at how adorable she was. The little cow was practically eating up the attention the same way she was eating up her meal. By the time she was finished with the bottle, the fur on her chin was soaked with milk. She seemed quite pleased with herself. 

“Atta girl,” Michael said. He took a rag from the same bag he had carried the milk in order to clean up the mess all around her face. Just as she did before, she tried to nudge Michael’s hand. “Sassy lil’ thing.”

“And definitely a daddy’s girl. She’s gonna miss you if you go back to school, Michael.”

The brunet let out a snort and a hearty laugh at such a comment.

“Hell nah, I ain’t goin’ back to school! I graduated a year early back in Texas. I ain’t doin’ more of that shit. Let Sammy deal with all that. I’ll stay here with my lil’ buddies,” he laughed, giving Cookie a playful rub behind the ears. 

The blond leaned up against one of the walls of the barn, letting out a sigh of relaxation while his boyfriend took care of Cookie. It put him at ease seeing Michael working hard. He did so much for his family and all the animals on their farm. Considering he used to only value partying hard and spilling blood, it was comforting to see someone who cared about doing things for others without expecting something in return.

“I don’t know how you do it,” David said.

“Whatcha mean?”

“I mean, I don’t know how you do all of this! How you take care of animals, do all the chores, take on a bunch of hard labor, and then still have time and energy to do stuff with me and the boys. Honestly, you’ve got a crazy amount of stamina. How do you do it?”

Michael pondered over David’s words. He stayed quiet for a moment, reflecting on them as he finished up with Cookie. He let out a tired sigh as he sat down in the hay and let the calf snuggle up on his lap.

“Honestly? I don’t really know myself,” he admitted. “It’s actually a lot more exhaustin’ than I make it look, David.”

It wasn’t an answer that David had been expecting. Growing curious, he stopped his leaning so that he could kneel down and be more at Michael’s eye level. He raised an eyebrow in curiosity, wordlessly asking what the human’s response meant. Michael gave him a sheepish smile, realizing he couldn’t take back his choice of words. 

“Between you, me, and Cookie, I take on as much as I possibly can because I don’t know how long I’ll get to do this.” 

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s like this: I’m the man of the house in the eyes of my mama. Sure, Grandpa’s still kickin’ but he ain’t no spring chicken. He needs my help with so much ‘round here. You weren’t here for it, but he nearly threw his back out just carryin’ some horse feed. He needs me, especially ‘cause Mama’s worried about him.”

Michael’s smile slowly faded as he spoke. The calf he held nuzzled up against him, enjoying being held as he spoke. Michael gently pet her, letting her relax into his hand. He always felt better around the animals. 

“I don’t mind helpin’ out. I care about my family. I want to look after them. But…I don’t wanna miss out on life while I’m young. It feels like….I dunno…like jugglin’, I guess. I wanna go wild, drink myself stupid, do some partyin’, go on adventures. But someday I’m gonna have to grow up. Maybe settle into some work for other farms to make more money. Get Sammy what he needs when he goes to college someday. Make sure Mama doesn’t have to work. There’s just so much to do in so little time…”

David’s eyebrows creased, and he frowned as he listened to Michael. In all the times he listened to the boys' thoughts, he never heard such things in his head. It was almost as if Michael was trying to act and not think. He pushed his thoughts and feelings aside so he could just focus on what was in front of him. It made David wonder just how long his boyfriend had been carrying around such burdens. Never acknowledging the work. 

“What about you, Michael?” David spoke up. “You keep talking about your family, but what about the stuff you want?”

“I already do the stuff I want!” Michael tried to assure him. “Every night we go ridin’ or raise a little hell on the boardwalk or even havin’ our jam sessions is always fun. I honestly haven’t felt so happy since the move.”

He carefully moved the hand that wasn’t petting Cookie in order to reach out and grab David’s hand. Out of a reflex, David immediately intertwined their fingers together. He never got tired of doing that.

“And you. I get to be with you, David. Every second we’re together makes me forget I even got troubles. You keep me in the moment. Don’t make everything feel so rushed.”

David softly smiled at the kind words Michael shared. He brought the human’s hand upward so that he could kiss the back of it. All the while, he ran his thumb over Michael’s knuckles. 

“I feel the same way, Cowboy,” he sighed. “I’d do anything to make you happy. I just….want to take away all those troubles you have. Life is meant to be savored, not rushed through. You deserve to enjoy all the stuff you like and not have to carry the pressure of your family.”

Not satisfied with just the smooch on his hand, Michael grabbed hold of David’s shirt, tugging him closer so that they could share a proper kiss. He giggled as he pressed his lips, enjoying the familiar scent of David’s cigarettes on his skin. When they broke apart, David had a grin of his own. 

“Carryin’ these things is my burden, darlin. As long as I’ve got you in my life, I’ll be just fine.”

“Well, I’ll still help when I can. We all will,” David assured him. 

Michael smirked at him, amused by such promises. Even if David was true to his word, he found it cute to see this bad boy turn into a loyal farm hand. 

“And if you just so happen to change your mind about all this work and just….I dunno….want to run away together and become a country and rock music duo and have a home of our own back in your hometown, I would absolutely go along with it.”

The human boy burst into a fit of giggles. Clearly such a specific scenario had been playing around in David’s mind for sometime. He really was crazy about that guy. 

“You’re too sweet, y’know that, Huckleberry?” 

“Only for you, Cowboy~” 

The two of them were so close and eager to share another kiss together. But as they leaned in to do it again, they were rudely interrupted by the fussy little cow on Michael’s lap.

“Mooooo!!!”

“You are such a drama queen,” Michael playfully scolded Cookie. “You’re not the only one that gets affection ‘round here, missy. Learn to share.”

David watched in amusement as Michael got back on his feet and hoisted the fluffy calf into the air. He followed the lead and stood back up as well, dusting off the hay and dirt from his beloved jacket. One of these days, he’d ask Michael to loan him some proper work clothes to wear around the farm. Or at the very least, he’d swipe them off some sucker after a hunt. 

Speaking of hunting, he hadn't heard from the boys yet. Usually, one of them would let him know when they were cleaning up after feeding. Had they not found a good meal yet?

“Michael, do you mind if I go looking for the boys? I'd love for them to meet Cookie too.” 

“Absolutely! The more the merrier,” Michael said. “Just do me a favor and take the bag and the bottle back inside. I'll put everything away once I'm done with the other animals.” 

With a quick nod and another peck, David was off for the Emerson house. He twirled the bag around his wrist as he followed the path to the back porch. Before he cut through the hall in order to get to the kitchen, something caught his eye in the dining room. 

“Oh! Hey, Sam!” 

Sitting in a chair at the dining table was the younger Emerson brother. Across the table were a variety of textbooks, looseleaf paper and composition notebooks. Sam was deep in focus, hunched over his work, with a pencil tapping in between his fingers. He barely gave David a glance as he read over his notes. 

“Wow! Better lower the enthusiasm before you break a blood vessel!” David said sarcastically, ready to leave the kid alone since he was clearly in a mood. 

Then again, maybe he shouldn’t be so harsh on him. He and Michael already messed with him enough with their pranks and roughhousing. David turned back around and softened his expression a little. The same look he usually had around Laddie.

“Sorry ‘bout that, Sam. Didn’t mean to sass you,” he apologized, leaning over one of the spare dining chairs. “Can I make it up to you, bud?”

Sam’s sour expression didn’t budge while he continued writing down answers for his homework. He only gave David a side glance rather than proper eye contact. 

“I dunno. Can you do ninth grade geometry?” 

“Uhhh….’fraid not,” David admitted. 

“Then no, you can’t. So you can just leave me alone. Stop botherin’ me already.”

David was growing more and more frustrated by the minute. He was itching to bare his fangs again and hiss at the boy. He didn’t take kindly to any attitude from bratty kids. Still, he wanted to keep his cool and make things right. If not for his own sake, then for Michael’s. 

“Sam, I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m not your enemy here. I’m trying to make nice with you here, so why do you still wanna act like you hate me?”

The younger boy flicked his pencil down onto the table and slammed his math book shut. Now David had his full attention, and Sam wasn’t looking too happy about it.

“You wanna know why I hate you?” he snapped. “It’s ‘cause I know you’re nothin’ but trouble! You’re dangerous! Bad to the bone!”

“So what if I am? Everyone has their flaws. Is it really fair to hate me for that? For trying to be better? I’m trying to do that for your family. For Michael!”

“How can I possibly trust that? How do I know you’re not gonna go and hurt my brother?”

David’s breathing was heavier and his stomach was churning. The more Sam argued with him, the more he wanted to prove himself. It was all so frustrating. This was the first time in ages he wanted to have a connection with humans. He didn’t want to be seen as a monster as others had for decades now. Letting out a sigh and lowering his guard, David allowed himself to be vulnerable to Michael’s brother.

“Because I love him.”

Silence hung in the air between the two of them. Sam’s baby blue eyes widened and his expression softened at the words. He could have expected any response except that. 

Though he already knew of Michael’s sexuality and blossoming relationship with David, he hadn’t been too enthusiastic about it. Paranoia about cryptic creatures trying to claw their way into Sam’s home life had put him on edge. Even if others broke bread with the Lost Boys, he hadn’t trusted for a second.

And yet….the look in David’s eyes was genuine. Not one bit of deception to be found. 

“You love him?”

“Yeah, Sam, I do.” 

Before Sam felt like he could rant a mile a minute to David’s face. Now he was quiet as a mouse, looking rather embarrassed for being so harsh before. David figured he would keep talking to get rid of some of the awkwardness. 

“Sam, I get it. You’re feeling protective of Michael. He’s your brother. I feel the same way about Marko, Dwayne and Paul.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. But we like it here. We like your family. And we take care of our family. I want to make Michael happy, just like he’s done for me. So I want you to know that I don’t want to hurt him.”

David offered a gesture that not too many had the honor of experiencing. He held out a gloved hand, ready to give a shake with Sam. 

“I just want to be your friend.”

Sam looked as if he was still on the fence about whether it was right to trust David. The warnings of Edgar and Alan echoed in his head. Maybe they were wrong. Maybe he had misread the whole situation with Max. Hell, maybe he even hallucinated that burn on his hand when they were at the party. 

After all the shenanigans, maybe it all boiled down to the fact that he was just a scared kid. Scared for both his mother and brother. Max wasn’t right for their family, but David was. What he and Michael had was real.

So with an ever-so faint smile, Sam accepted the offer and shook hands with David. The blond seemed to physically relax more, no doubt glad to get Sam’s acceptance. 

“Thanks, Sam,” David said. “I apprecia-”

“DAVID!”

A voice screamed out in the blond’s head. He tensed up, recognizing it was Dwayne calling out to him. He sounded so urgent and loud. Such qualities were very out of place when they talked.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Sam now had a look of concern on his face, worried by how shaken up David suddenly seemed to be.

“I-I...Sorry, I just realized I need to check on something…” David nervously explained. He let go of Sam’s hand and the bag he had held before sprinting off to the back door that he had come through. Something wasn’t right, and he couldn’t keep Dwayne waiting.

“I’m here! What’s wrong?”

“Emergency….help….us….”

“What’s going on? Dwayne, where are you guys??”

At that moment, David was sure his heart was going to drop into his stomach. The feeling only grew stronger when he got his answer.

“Max’s…..house…h-hurry…”

He was off like a shot. David didn’t even bother with his motorcycle. He didn’t care about how fast and reckless he was with flying into the night sky. His boys were in danger. There was no time to be cautious.

He didn’t even notice Sam coming out the back door. Just in time to see David taking flight. 

Tag List: @silvermaplealder @mikey-stardust-way @legal-lost-boy @britany1997 @ria-coolgirl @crustyraccoon @ghoulgeousimmaculate @kurt-nightcrawler @blackcoffeebat @thelostsouls1987 @crustyboypix @thornthehellhound @solobagginses @6lostgirl6 @american-idiot-jpg @bloodywickedvamp @anxiouslittleweirdkid @juss-soupp @bloodsuckingfiends @f4iryfxies @bezinful @oceansrose2002 @piratesangel @vampirefilmlover @charlizekkelly @blueberrypancakesworld @thinkblotted @midnight-in-santa-carla @warrior-616 @rain-universe @queerlittlem0nster @hypocriticaltypwriter @britany1997

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

So I am drinking for the first time in months because I have taken an accidental break from my evil medication and I'm taking advantage of that. But I'm here in the club pondering Lestat on this fine afternoon. Full disclosure I've been watching 2.07 and 2.08 in gifs, because the person who's link I have has not updated their Google drive. But I think most of the ramble I'm about to go oh about Lestat and race is contained within season 1.

So Lestat is an interesting case in terms of portraying a racist character because I think when you correct for the gothic horror shock value he's more true to what most racism actually looks like than like 97% of cases where it's depicted, but also there's a lot of people in the fandom who will insist that hes not racist, despite the fact that Claudia explicitly calls him out on it multiple times. And I think the reason for that is actually more complicated and interesting than standard issue Blorbo apologia or that they see a white person and are automatically more sympathetic to the white person, I'm not saying that both of those aren't part of it but I am saying that there's also a third genre of it.

So like, Lestat starts out as the nice white guy. He's not white he French, as Louis said. He thinks the way that Louis is treated by American white people is appalling. And then as they carry on, Lestat is horrifically racist in some places and kinda chill, never great, but on Louis' side, in others, and in other places he writes race off as a mortal affair and considers both his and Louis' race to be "vampire". And I actually think that's the closest we get to Lestat's actual beliefs on race. He thinks he's solved racism for Louis by giving him the dark gift, because now Louis can just eat people who are racist to him.

Lestat is very much a modern white person transplanted into the Jim Crow era in this way. He doesn't think he's racist. Racism isn't ideological for him the way it is for the other white people we meet in Louisiana who think that they are superior to Louis by virtue of their skin color. He doesn't see Louis as sub human (or sub-vampire). He even feels more affinity to Louis than to other white people by virtue of Louis being both a vampire and his partner.

However he is still racist. Because Lestat at his core is selfish. Louis is the superego and Lestat is the Id. Lestat is operating on a race blind mentality, but he will use other white people's racism to his advantage no matter how much it hurts Claudia and Louis, I would argue with only partial understanding of what he's doing at all.

That's not a defense of him. He knows he's hurting his family. He's doing it on purpose for the benefit of himself because that's who Lestat is. That's what makes him awful and abusive. He takes it to genre typical extremes, but I think sometimes the racial angle to whats going on completely escapes him, meanwhile Louis and Claudia remain hyper aware of it, because they have to be to navigate their lives in black bodies, undead or otherwise. This hurts Louis and Claudia just as much as it would hurt them if Lestat was a white hood wearing Klansman who thought he was superior to them. It doesn't matter in his impact that in his heart he is doing this because he cares about himself before anyone else, rather than because he thinks he's better because he's white. The impact is the same whether he's race blind or a Nazi. He is still weaponizing his whiteness against his loved ones. A person could argue it's worse than if he was a capital R racist because if he was Louis and Claudia would never have become loved ones in the first place

I think this is why a lot of people get incredibly defensive about Lestat being called racist. Because good liberal white people in America are raised to not see color. They're raised to think that MLK solved systemic racism and that treating someone different because of their skin color is appalling behavior. But they still use the systemic racism that exists around them to their advantage while maintaining this mindset, because like pavlovs dogs they know when certain behavior will benefit them but never stop to question why that behavior benefits them or wonder if it's hurting people around them. They will throw poc, even poc that they love and respect, under the bus without realizing that's what's happening.

Lestat holds a dark mirror up to those people. The writers show them a white man who is nice and colorblind and appalled by the treatment that Louis is receiving who still weaponizes the color of his skin against Louis. The first episode makes white people who care about POC want to like and relate to Lestat who is quickly developing a romance with Louis, and then it shows his horrible racist tendencies in subsequent episodes. Because of this white people who are allies and unfamiliar with the story will at first like Lestat but realize around episode three what's up with him and not defend him. But people in the more colorblind lane will defend him from the racism allegations to the death even if they acknowledge his other crimes because they don't want to admit that they themselves have done what Lestat is doing on a much smaller scale without the domestic abuse and vampire style violence.*

Consequently I think they had to make Lestat this type of racist because if they made him an ideological racist he couldn't have gone back to Louis with a satisfying ending the way we know he's going to and if he was actually not racist the way a good ally is (which is to say makes mistakes but owns up to them and corrects them) it would be wildly untrue to his characterization in the books. He must be selfish.

*I of course acknowledge that white people who are not ideologically racist fall along a gradient between ally and color blind and just because someone can recognize this behavior in others doesn't mean they don't occasionally ignore it in themselves but for my purposes I am making a binary. Nuance. You understand.

[gryficowa]

You know what irritates me? Text about white privilege (No, it's not that I'm mad that it's said that white people get sympathy more often, because it's true, I can confirm that, yes, I'm white myself, but I've seen so much shit that I agree with that), specifically addressed in the fandom to underage characters, who are victims of their parents (Mean characters who are mean because of toxic relationships or abuse), it sounds weird, like writing off a child for being defenseless because he is white and has rich parents, WTF

I saw it often with Chloe from miracolous, but it also happened with Pacifica from GF, that their redemption or sympathy in the fandom was related to it, people are children, often victims of their parents' abuse (in Pactfika it is the father, in Chloe it is mother), saying that white privilege is disgusting by context, so what, that they come from rich families when violence occurs in them? Are we seriously going in this direction when we attack characters who are children because they do not want to burn them at the stake? (Although Chloe is an accident and the worst thing is that many people defend it, I remind you, she is fucking 14 years old)

Have we seriously gone in such a bad direction that we want children to be harmed because they are white and have rich parents? I wonder if if these nasty characters were non-white, would you feel the same way, because they are also privileged, because many non-white people are not wealthy, so if they are victims of abuse, you should ignore it, because they are too privileged…

White privilege is then, for example, the approach of the police towards whites, which is different from the way the police see black or Latino people, or the case of Ukraine, which is more publicized while Palestine, Sudan and Congo are silent, this can already be called white privilege , not a child who is a victim of violence, damn it

If redeeming a white child who was a victim of violence is a white privilege for you, then something went wrong with your thinking, Chloe and Pacifica are two spectrums, one was thrown into the wrong pile by its creator, while the other got redemption (Maybe it wasn't as good as Sasha and Amita, but it inspired the creation of these two and I love it)

It's just irrational to me to say that a white child who is a victim of parental violence or struggles with other issues cannot be redeemed, or others cannot want this character to be redeemed, because it means white privilege, which makes no sense. the child is not privileged, rich parents are not a feature of privilege, when they abuse this child, the child is not privileged on many levels, because it does not have the privilege of safety, parent-child relationship, lack of loneliness, etc.

As you will notice, many non-white characters have such privileges, which shows the bleak world of this character who you consider "Privileged", in the real world he would struggle with problems related to poor parenting and go to therapy, she would also have a lower view of his problems because "Others have it worse", so she would lead to ignorance of her mental state by constantly telling herself that things are not that bad

Many people with this type of parenting end up like this, either they have narcissistic traits (Chloe and Pacifica) or they look at themselves worse (Amity)

If you believe that responding to this type of violence is "White Privilege", then you ignore that being white does not always mean that you are "Privileged" (LGBT+ people, people with disabilities, autistic people, women, etc.), because it is doesn't work, yes you are in some but you are not in many

A child who experiences violence is not privileged, regardless of whether he is white or his parents are rich, because he is a victim, and being a victim is not a privilege, it is the opposite of "Privilege"

I had to write this because it pisses me off in the fandom, it is not an attack on non-white people, it is an attack on people who think that white = privileged (Which, as I mentioned, has nothing to do with the truth, because so what if you are white, if you are a victim of discrimination due to your orientation, gender, disability or origin? Exactly…), look at children for what they are and what they experience, not on their skin color and the wealth of their parents, because now you deny violence in the case of children who are white and their parents are rich, and all violence should be seen in the same way, because a child is weaker than an adult, no matter what wrong he or she does, you should look at him as a child and remember that his brain is not fully developed to make you 100% aware that what she is doing is wrong

Yes, the child should be punished, but he or she should also receive support, because often doing bad things is a child's cry for help (he often does not understand how he hurts others, and often does it to regulate the emotions that are inside) and yes, you can feel it with Chloe (Who, as I mentioned, was put in the wrong pile by Thomas and many people in the fandom, which shows a big problem, the creator himself and many of the fandom also deny that Chloe's mother abused her, which is sick)

It's just that when you are an adult and you see how many adults in the fandom hate a child, you shake your head, because no matter how much the character irritates you, wanting him to suffer shows that you are not yet mature enough to understand the seriousness of the situation of what you want. for this child to experience, using the argument "Because it's fictional" is weak, because it's still a child, so it doesn't deserve your hatred, but an attempt to understand

Children are irritating, children are cruel, because their brain is not fully developed, finally understand it, they have not yet developed empathy and understanding at the same level as you

So your argument about "White Privilege" in this context sounds cruel, because you are directly saying that reacting to violence when a child is white and has a rich family should not be saved because he is mean and cries for help in his behavior, that's how it is terrible train of thought that makes me wonder what went wrong in your life, being a victim should not be about wanting others to suffer, it should be about wanting others not to experience this, yes, I was a scapegoat (Before I was diagnosed with ASD, mutism and social phobia), I was always "Abnormal" and everyone was laughing at me (They were teasing me, I mean…), no one told me why, and when I asked, it ended with laughter…

Do I now want every able-bodied person to experience this? No, because no one deserves it, I can only hope that those who teased me feel remorse today, but they are ashamed to say it and suppress everything inside themselves, this is already enough punishment for everything, no more is needed

I don't want other children to experience this, I don't want children who do this to be punished for their parents' mistakes, but they get help when they have time to change and become better, this is something they should get, not a stack waiting to be burned

Children don't know what good and evil are, children follow the crowd, children can't handle emotions so they hurt others to feel better, children are children and we can only help them understand or help them with their problems

I just had to write about what irritates me in this way of thinking…

[paltryprice]

Musings on The Other End Of The Leash

It's been a while! Haven't managed to get our feelings on God Bless Your Black Heart into words yet (though we do still plan to), but for now I'd like to share my thoughts on the lyrics of this gem!

At The Other End Of The Leash is one of my favorite songs from The Paper Chase! It's got this horribly atmospheric feel to it, it's airy and breathy in a way that feels uniquely sickly, and it's ever so lovingly dehumanizing. Great mix!

The verse that's always hit the hardest for me is;

And when I fall in your Christmas tree, The dinner party reveals (In) me robin egg blue and livery red, I hate to spoil your meal. And when I stop the good times rolling With my hot breath in your ear, You know daddy loves you all so very much, yeah, But daddy may be going away for a while, my dear!

Although they've always felt so important, I could never figure out what exactly they were saying. And, well, I think I finally pieced it together!

The whole song is obviously about familial abuse, but this specific verse is describing a past event: A dinner party, in which the father of the family got drunk enough to fall into the Christmas tree, got horribly injured (or, potentially, hurt someone else), and had the police called on him.

"Going away for a while" heavily implies being arrested, "daddy" implies the speaker is talking to his own children, and I'm honestly split on whether he injures himself ("In me, robin egg blue and livery red") or injures one of the children ("When I stop the good times rolling with my hot breath in your ear"). I think it also makes sense for both to be true- He hurt himself in the fall, ruining the party, then lashed out at the children, leading to the police being called and arresting him.

That's all! I was just excited to finally figure this bit of the song out! :D

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Analysis of Shouto-Touya/Dabi Relationship;

Thanks for the ask, @trinityrus. And dont worry. Your english is fine ^^. I actually talk about this a little in here and here but well, lets start.

I think Shouto and Touya’s relationship is very entertaining and amazing because despite the fact that they are siblings but they are strangers but even so, they are same because of Endeavour’s abuse but even that abuse is different so that makes them different.

Shouto and Touya always wanted to switch because they thought other one had it better.

Shouto always had Endeavour’s attention, he was used as tool to make his father’s dreams come true so he wished he could be just like his siblings but that wouldnt make his life better because his siblings are traumatized in a different way. That ‘neglect’, the idea that ‘they are failure’ to their father. Especially we know how it broke Touya.  Shouto cant relate to Touya’s desire to please his father because he never liked his father.

And Touya thinks if he wasnt failure, if he was strong enough, if he was just like Shouto, he thinks his life would be better but it wouldnt because that ‘training’, carrying the dreams of their parents is abuse, even Touya didnt see it that way. They both are miserable in a different way. Whether you are golden child or black ship, doesnt matter, because you are still abuse victim. Basically, just from the start, they unable to understand each other’s sitution.

Shouto as ‘golden child’, he hated his left side. Because his father abused his mother, Shouto didnt want to be like him, thats why he ‘repressed’ it.

Touya as ‘abandonded child’, he hold on every similarities between him and his father because he desperately need his attention. And he was never taught to how to put out the fire, which is why, instead of repression, we see opposite of it. Expression. Him ‘lashing out’. His feelings are out of control and he doesnt know how to stop it.

This is the same dynamic we see between main villain trio and main hero trio. Izuku repress his anger and self destructs while Tomura express his anger and his anger is literally out of control, both hurting himself and others. Uraraka repress her needs and her romantic feelings while Toga express everything. Same for Shouto and Dabi too. Shouto respress his anger and anything relates to his past while Dabi express and hold onto every part of his past.

Earlyroki was also repressing but even when he repress, his anger would come out of control. He would fail miserably and lash out to people around him. His fight with Midoriya calmed him down because he finally see his own wroth outside of his father and he started to heal. But the problem is his flaw didnt go away.

Shouto continued to repressing everything. He endured to work with his father and continued to training under him. We can see how his ‘anger’ didnt go away because he almost killed Tetsutetsu in match. He endures, endures, until he cant anymore. Then his feelings get out of control. Its good thing that Shouto wants to be his own hero but the way system it is, it forces him to work with his abuser and since hero kids are raised to be like soldiers, he is unable to heal properly. He wants to move on and be his own person but its like he is stuck.

Their biggest common point with dabi is that anger that made them more like their father, this is what Shouto see in Dabi. ‘He is me’. Its actually very mature of Shouto to see that he could turn out just like his big brother but at the same time, he is projecting a lot. Thats one of the issues between Shouto and Touya.

Shouto relates to Dabi’s anger but since he is trying to move on so bad, he is repressing his anger. One of the biggest flaws of both Shouto and Dabi’s is they distance theirselves from their feelings a lot.

This is why we see Shouto asking this; If you survived back then, why didnt you come home?

As if Earlyroki wouldnt run away, if he had a chance.

‘Dad was a madman, our family was messed up’. By saying this, Shouto lessens his own trauma. As if Endeavour didnt hurt innocent people. He is busy with ‘playing hero’ because thats how he was taught. End of the day, he is still hero and heroes are not allowed to have feelings in society.

Todoroki family doesnt really know the Earlyroki or you could say ‘it was okay Shouto to be violent, since he is hero and he only hurts villains’ but Shouto know his own feelings, his dark side and thats why he still can see Dabi as brother. He is the only one who seems to see Dabi as person more than other members of family.

Because of Endeavour, Shouto wants to become kind of hero who wants to save his family, he wants to be invidual so Dabi is perfect match for him. Dabi is big challenge for him to be the kind of person he wants to be because he symbolize the past Shouto tries to repress. He knows he has to face it but he really doesnt know how to. This is why we see him treating him as brother in one moment and tries to talk with him but the fight goes on, he starts treating him as villain. ‘You wont hurt innocent people anymore’.

Shouto cant reach out to Touya because he didnt adress his own trauma properly. If Shouto cant see himself as victim, he cant see Touya either. If society doesnt see the flaws of society that lets people like Endeavour get away, then he cant save his brother.

This is even more obvious with Dabi. He literally see him as puppet and copy of Endeavour. Just like Shouto, they both know what happenned to them is abuse, that they both are victims but he internalized his abuse too much, Dabi justify the abuse Endeavour did to him in his mind. That he is failure and Shouto is masterpiece so if Dabi cant see himself as victim, not as failure, then how can see Shouto as another victim, instead of masterpiece? They both dehumanizing theirselves, thats exactly why they unable to see each others as inviduals because they cant even allow theirselves to be invidual.

Once again, we can see this with Shouto when he looked at is brother’s power and he said ‘we both carry the same blood’, even though he was supposed to be not bound by blood. We can still see him struggling with his own issues.

So basically, if they want to heal, they have to adress their own pain. They have to accept that they are victims. Shouto has to stop repressing his anger and shouldnt force himself to get along with system and Dabi has to realize that even he was powerfull like Shouto, his problems wouldnt be solved. That training would still be abuse. So i cant imagine those two healing without acknowledging each others’s pain because that way, they will also have to acknowledge their pain first.

Both Shouto and Dabi still looking for a reason for their existence. Why were they born at that home? They both desperarely looking worth in theirselves. Shouto find it in class 1 A and Dabi find it in league. Shouto wants to know his brother better and be together with his family and Dabi in deep also wants to turn back to his family (except Endeavour because he doesnt deserve it).

Of course, Dabi is gonna push Shouto first and he is still pushing him because he is pushing himself. He acts like Touya is someone else, that his identity died but its not true. We see it with his fight with Shouto. First, he acts like a villain and make a speech about society but the fight goes on, he loose his anger and starts to act like brother, opposite of Shouto who repress it, Dabi express it.

Since those two desire for the same and they can understand each others more than anyone, i think they will eventually get along really well. And i mentioned in my other post, their characters really fits each others. Touya always express himself with actions more than words while Shouto always pay attention to someone’s actions more than their words. They will get along really well.

Bonus;

Source

When they were kids, they were strangers but Shouto always wanted to know about his big brother Touya more and most likely, Touya didnt want to feel jeolosy towards innocent Shouto but he couldnt help it. But if Endeavour wasnt horrible human being, then they would most likely support each others and become great heroes together. Even as villain-hero, they inspire each others so as heroes, they would even be better and thats the future they deserve.

[trickybonmot]

cw: mention of childhood sexual abuse. This post isn't about that but it mentions a specific case of csa in the second paragraph.

So, my dad is a boomer and a pro-Trump Republican. Like a lot of people in that situation, I've been very puzzled, confused, and betrayed at how the person who taught me many of my progressive values, like belief in science, being kind to others, etc. can support what Republicans support.

I read something the other day that made it much clearer to me. Actually, it was in this post by Brandon Taylor about the sexual abuse suffered by Andrea Skinner, daughter of celebrated writer Alice Munroe, at the hands of her stepfather. The author, Brandon, draws a parallel to their own experience of disclosing their sexual abuse and having their family ignore it, minimize it, and even make jokes about it. Why did the family act that way? Why didn't they empathize with the victim and seek justice?

Here's a quote from the article:

Among my people, the rural and working poor, to make a history out of the past is taboo. To speak of a thing done is to make too much of it. To be fishing for sympathy, and for what, when there’s nothing to be done about it anyway.

Here is something that I remember about my dad. We used to watch David Attenborough's nature documentaries together, the old ones, Life on Earth and The Living Planet. In those days David Attenborough himself was in the shows; he would go to the locations and walk along and talk in his nice calm accent and point out the plants and animals. My dad, like me, was an atheist, so we didn't share any mythos of the workings of the world except the one that David Attenborough gave us: the cold, hard, fascinating, miraculous truth of evolution. To me, this was religion.

The last episode of each series was about Man on earth. Even back then, the closing message was a cautionary one: Man was changing the earth, Man was destroying nature with pollution and unchecked urbanization. My dad? Wouldn't watch that. He would turn it off and tell me that he hated that stuff. He didn't tell me that it wasn't true! But I came to understand that he felt there was a kind of wallowing, finger-wagging quality to it that simply made him cringe. Still to this day, when I see this kind of media my first thought is my dad would hate this.

To speak of a thing done is to make too much of it.

This quote hit me like a ton of bricks because I think this is exactly my dad's attitude toward everything bad in the world. This is why all talk of environmentalism, racial justice, reparations--any issue where people are seeking redress or repair of something awful that happened in the past. To make a history out of the past is taboo. To speak of a thing done is to make too much of it. To be fishing for sympathy, and for what, when there’s nothing to be done about it anyway. THAT IS MY DAD. And if you're wondering whether it also came up in the context of being raised by him, IT SURE FUCKING DID but that's a story for another time.

I think he knows that climate change is bad. I think he knows that racism is bad, and that what this nation has done to Black people is bad, and all the rest of it. But when people talk about it? When people beg for something to be done about it? Man, he just doesn't want to hear it. It makes him cringe inside. It's just unbearably awkward. In fact, I think the very hugeness of these issues, the very awfulness of what has been done and it still being done, is exactly why it's so out of line to bring them up.

So he's supporting the party that doesn't put that stuff up in his face all the time, is all. That's what I think. His reaction to the progressive agenda is just a knee jerk, gut-level negativity that has nothing to do with whether what we're asking for is good or right. He just can't stand for that asking to happen, because the MAIN value he was raised with was exactly this: you put your shoulder to the wheel and get on with things. I was talking to him about Putin or something and he said, "well, like my old ma would say, the trash still has to get taken out."

Now, for sure he has also been brainwashed by Fox News and he believes a lot of things that aren't true. But I think what initially opened the door for it was this feeling that it's just unseemly to make a fuss, to make a history out of the past.

I don't know if there's any hope, here--if being aware of this attitude can change anything. But it was comforting to me to find this clue, and maybe it can open the door to a way of talking about politics that doesn't activate his fight-or-flight response!

[pyromaniac4198]

puppets

i had the idea for a single scene from a fic but couldn't think of what else would be in such a fic so i decided to put it to tumblr. if you want to write the fic just send me the link

TW: clone abuse, mind manipulation, Palpatine being a sleemo.

“CC-1010, execute orders 13 and 14,” the chancellor commanded, before pointing to a corner between two bronze statues. “And then kneel in that circle, drawn on the floor.” Palpatine smiled, reveling in the despair of the clone trooper as his body moved against his will to turn off his helmet cam and kneel in the rune circle.

“Supreme Chancellor, sir,” the intercom on Palpatine’s desk buzzed, “knight Skywalker is here to visit you.”

“Send him in.” Immediately after Palpatine spoke, the blond jedi strode through the door. When he saw Fox, kneeling in the corner, his eyes dimmed and glazed until he turned away.

“Chancellor! It’s so good to see you again, I’ve been on campaign for months. How have you been since I left?” At Palpatine’s gesture, Anakin sat down on the low, black bench across from the mahogany desk. “Has the senate been giving you trouble again?”

“They have,” Palpatine started, picking up a large square stamp out of a pad soaked in Fox’s blood and hiding it in his large sleeve. “But I’m feeling much better, now that I’ve seen you again.”

“Thank you, sir,” Anakin started to grin, “but really h-“ as the jedi’s smile pressed his eyes shut, Palpatine struck, pressing the stamp to Anakin’s forehead where it imprinted bloody runes. Immediately, the boy’s face slackened, his eyes opening back up but appearing more purple than blue and entirely vacant. Palpatine gestured as if pulling something, and an image like a 3-dimensional map appeared, except in white and red instead of blue.

“Do you see this, clone?” he said, pointing to the lowest level of the structure, which was a pyramid of increasingly small pavilions held up by Nubian-style columns. “Do you see how this lower level has columns that have been Darkened?” He pulled his hand through the projection, and a red thread followed his fingers.

“These are the pillars of his sanity. Beautiful, aren’t they?” He tied the string around one of the white columns. “It is such a shame that I have to Darken them one at a time, or his mind will automatically purge the Dark, but it does give me more options.”

He laughed.

“Soon enough, there will be enough Darkened pillars that his sanity will crumble, and he’ll have just as much control over himself as you do, when your control chip is activated. This slow movement gives me time to decide whether I want him to be too delirious to disobey, or for him to truly believe that everything I say must be perfectly true. Either way, within the year he will be obeying so well that I can order him to kill all the younglings in the jedi temple and he won’t even consider not doing so. Wont it be glorious?” He turned back to fox, grabbing his chin and wrenching his head up painfully. “Tell me it will be glorious, commander.”

“It will be glorious, your Excellency.” Fox felt like pukeing, as his body spoke the words without his consent. the Sith smiled and turned back around.

“My masterpiece is almost complete.” He banished the image, putting his grandfatherly façade back on. “In just over a year, now, this republic will become my Empire.” He used the Force to clean off the general’s forehead.

“-ow’ve you been?” Anakin continued on with his sentence, not noticing that anything happened. Palpatine smiled and gave a grandfatherly laugh, offering to order food for them both.

An hour later, the food eaten and the young knight sent away, the chancellor turned to fox one last time.

“Perhaps I will pay a visit to Senator Amidala today, and use the Force to make her more … fertile … than she naturally would be. After all, my soon-to-be apprentice is so family oriented, his wife entering a delicate state may speed his Fall. My empire may come in as little as 8 months, instead of 14.” the Nubian man sat at his desk. “What do you think, clone?”

“Whatever your excellency decides is best, your excellence.”

“Good. Stand, CC-1010. Wash that circle off of my floor.”

As Fox’s body moved, he ruminated. This wasn’t the first time he had seen his excellency do force osik, of course, as Darth Sidious loved to gloat, but this was a low that Fox hadn’t yet seen. The future the chancellor spoke of was horrific, and fox wished it were possible to kill him to avert it. At least fox would have control over his own thoughts, even if not his body. It was a cold comfort, but it seemed General Skywalker wouldn’t even have that.

Fox strode out of the chancellor’s office wishing that sometime soon the chancellor would forget to call order 14 so he could talk about what happened when the chancellor required his presence.

[doodlegirl1998]

Ok, so this might be a super minor thing but it has being bugging me. Is it weird that despite Ochako, Iida and Todoroki being Izuku's closest friends, they never call him by his first name and vice versa? And the fact that it's Bakuhoe of all people to start doing that after his poor excuse of an 'apology' when we all know he isn't Izuku's friend at all (and really, they never were to begin with).

This is ignoring that Ochako calls him 'Deku' (which I'm not a fan of).

In Japan, people don't really call each other by their first names unless it is with someone they have a close relationship with, whether with family or close friends.

Hi @ultimateemerl 👋

No I wouldn't say it's a minor thing to be bugged by, I am bugged by it too. More so by the injustice of it all, let me explain.

Bkg gets to call Midoriya "Izuku" and be praised by the narrative for 'knowing Izuku the best' and being "the closest" to Izuku when really all he did was;

Physically, emotionally and verbally abuse Izuku all his life for being quirkless (which if you take Quirklessness as disability coding makes a very ugly picture.)

Tell him to kill himself.

Destroy his property.

Scream at him all the time and invent a new slur ("Deku") just for him (this continues into UA.)

Blames All Might for Izuku's low self esteem when really it is in large part his fault.

Physically attacks Izu at the slightest provocation. I.e Izu being proud of Black whip apparently deserves a ninja star head piece to the skull according to Bakugou.

Makes jabs at Izu whenever he can, bc fuck Izu's feelings. Even after the lip service manipulation of an apology, Bkg deems it appropriate to say, "A quirkless child given a quirk, sounds like someone we know," in reference to the Aoyama Situation. Yeah, sounds like a great, thoughtful close friend there. Izu is "lucky to have a friend like that" right Author / All Might?!

Follows Izuku everywhere and keeps tabs on him, in true abuser fashion. (Follows him when Todoroki takes Izu to talk, unjustly joins Izu in the OFA meetings just to shit on the past holders and Izu himself. Joins in OFA training which Izu learnt nothing from and Bkg seemed to use it as an excuse solely to beat Izu up.)

Those are just the eight things I can think of at the top of my head, as to why Bkg doesn't deserve to be anywhere near Izu let alone have the privilege of calling Izu his first name.

Todoroki, Iida, Uraraka, Aoyama all deserve that privilege more being Izuku's true friends and it would show their bond closening over time which would have been nice to see.

Izu of course is Todoroki's first friend and Todoroki being as blunt as he is could have asked for the privilege of calling Midoriya his first name while offering his own after inviting him to his home which would have been nice to see.

Uraraka is meant to be the love interest canonically so having her only ever canonically call Izuku "Deku" really puts a sour taste in my mouth. Have her instead like Iida insist on calling Midoriya his last name at first then she could as their bond grows (and they become besties) offer her first name to him.

Iida of course is a bit stricter but it would be nice to see him soften to Izuku and offer his first name as well.

The Aoyama reveal should have been built up more by give Yuuga more screen time - we should have seen Yuuga POV on Izu's situation and focused on their parallels. I would like to have seen Yuuga offer his first name to Izuku and them have that close bond.

With Bakugou he doesn't ask for the right to call Midoriya his first name even after the apology - he just takes it without asking.

Because Bakugou, the abuser he is, believes it to be his right to do so. That signifies to me that, coupled with all his other actions, despite what the narrative wants us to believe he hasn't changed at all.

[chattercap]

Kanau Postmortem!

​Hello everyone, it’s Chattercap!

Thank you to everyone who played Kanau! I’m really grateful that you gave it a chance 😭 since it is quite different from Karamu in terms of content and tone! Note that I’ll be spoiling Kanau in my thoughts/reflections below, so be careful if you haven’t played it! 

(Spoilers below!)

When I first conceived "Karamu," it was just going to be a short, one and done mystery for Otome Jam—a simple story centered around a couple interesting twists. However, when I was done with it, I found myself still interested in the story of Raku and Nelli, and I wasn't quite satisfied with where I left it. I kept thinking about why exactly they did the things they did, and what kinds of experiences would lead to such twisted adults.

The story in Kanau is actually one that I describe in Karamu, hinted at in vague descriptions. In Karamu, Nelli briefly reminisces about her childhood - finding solace in the fact that one day her father left and never returned. Raku also recounts an instance where Nelli showed kindness to a spider missing three legs. Nelli doesn't remember the incident, thinking that it happened in the last couple years, but in reality it happened QUITE a long time ago - 11 years, in fact.

Kanau is (for better or worse) Raku's "coming of age" story, haha! Both literally (as he undergoes his family's "ritual of adulthood") and metaphorically. Throughout the story, Raku struggles between his own identity and the "Kumode" identity. At the end, he finds a compromise, and this compromise is both a triumph and a tragedy - he makes his own decision, but it’s a decision that brings him right back into the arms of his abusers. I hope that after playing Kanau, it’s a bit easier to see how Raku and Nelli evolved into the adults they become in Karamu - and why they chose to do the things that they did.

The title, "Kanau," refers to the word 叶う in Japanese. It means "to come true/to be fulfilled" - as in "a wish or prayer coming true/being fulfilled." It's a reference to Raku and Nelli's parallel wishes/prayers - to be free from the abusive households that they're trapped in. Ultimately, Raku is unable to fulfill his own wish—to break free from his abuse. However, he still finds comfort in being able to fulfill Nelli's wish, the prayer that she thought that no one could hear (now...whether he went about that in the CORRECT way is, uh, up to interpretation). 

(For anyone that wants more details on the spidey lore - in the Karamu universe, there are no males other than Raku in the main line of the Kumode family! The females seduce human males and eat them after the deed is done. This is based both on jorogumo lore - where the spider demons seduce and then eat their human victims - as well as regular ol' spider lore! In some spider species, the female consumes the male after procreating. This is actually the origin of the name "black widow spider," although a lot of species of black widows don't actually practice sexual cannibalism.)

Regarding the topic of child abuse, I hope that I tackled it with sensitivity. I knew going into it that this was going to be a sensitive subject, moreso because the main overarching theme of the trilogy is trust and healing from trauma. Above all else I really wanted to avoid using child abuse for “shock value.” Hence why a lot of Nelli’s abuse takes place completely off screen, and you only see the effects it has on her. This is also why the few instances of abuse that do happen on screen are portrayed in silhouette (with the only really graphic image being an abuser’s comeuppance). 

There’s one more installment planned in this series! Hanasu (the third and final entry) will take place a few months after the events of Karamu (canonically, after the events of Ending D)! I think that Kanau is actually a decent standalone story, and, when viewed through this lens, the ending is happy; Raku and Nelli are free from their abusers, immersed in a world full of “color.” However, that ending is a sweet lie. It’s the ending that Raku wants to believe—that he “saved” this girl. But, of course, if you’ve played Karamu, you know that isn’t really true. After all, healthy people don’t do the things that Nelli does. Regardless of what Raku wants to believe, killing her father didn't "fix" Nelli. He freed her from the shackles of her abuser, but not the shackles of her abuse. The ghosts of her experiences haunt her into adulthood, tainting her view of her world, her relationships, and herself. And, of course, Raku is still under his family’s thumb, and he has lingering issues of his own. You can expect to see the resolution to these threads in Hanasu! (Will that resolution be sweet or bitter, I wonder?) 

I was originally planning to jump straight into Hanasu after developing Kanau, but after some consideration, I decided to let it cook a little more. I’d like to take my time with this project, both in terms of script and art—it is the last time I’ll be seeing these characters, after all, and I’d like to give them the resolution that they deserve. I’m currently tackling my biggest project (a fantasy/mystery story—with one love interest that’s pretty similar to Raku *wink wink nudge nudge*), and while I planned to develop the titles concurrently, I don’t want to divide my time and attention. I currently plan to finish the script for Hanasu this month, and I’ll start working on it in earnest later this summer. 

If you’re interested in seeing updates about Hanasu (and my other projects), I post most of my major announcements on here and Twitter. I also post frequently on my Patreon with sketches, writing snippets, sneak peeks, high resolution art, and weekly devlogs.​

Chattercap

[wheelie-sick]

Genuine questions with good intentions, and I’m sorry if this comes off as rude, I’m just trying to learn more about politics since they’re hard for me to understand.

What will you gain by not voting for Harris (I assume voting 3rd party is what you’re doing?)… I highly doubt anyone except Trump or Harris will win. Is it a personal morality thing?

What about the lives of trans kids and kids in abusive families and disabled kids and queer kids and adults in the US? Palestine is very very very important, I understand that, and your decision not to vote for Harris would make sense to me if Project 2025 didn’t exist… but it does, and considering you’re part of a lot of groups/situations they’d want to eliminate, I’m confused on why you’re not voting against that. Not just for yourself, but for all the other trans people or people in abusive situations or GNC people, etc.

Sorry if I got anything wrong. I hope you have a lovely day!

okay I wanted to put a little disclaimer this this isn't an angry response and I'm not mad at you

1. I'm not voting at all. initially I was planning on it but after talking more and more to other people in my circle I decided against it. I'm going to attempt to quote someone I really look up to who made me change my mind on this because they definitely explain it better than I do.

"I don't vote because the system does not and has never served my people"

this really... rang true for me? every president has worked to harm me and my people as well as the peoples I care about. no president has protected my people. no president will protect trans people, or disabled people, or Palestinians, or Indigenous people, or Black people, and so on.

2. there is a little bit of personal morality going on I won't lie. I do not feel like voting for a genocidaire would align with my own views and values. there's also leverage going on. my refusal to vote is a threat to Harris. other people's refusal to vote is a threat to Harris. I'm not entirely opposed to voting if she were to change her stance (which she will not do) I respect that some people believe in change through voting and I think that's fine (as long as they can look the fact that they're voting for a genocidaire in the eyes) but it's not how I work to create change in the world.

3. project 2025 will exist regardless of whether Harris wins. republicans currently are expected to continue to control the house and have a potential of taking the senate too. this is not even touching on the supreme court. even if the president was further left than Harris they can barely do anything without house and senate control.

ultimately though I just don't believe in the ballot. other people do, that's fine, but I prefer to make change more directly

[maespri]

bela talbot . . .

so i just got through rewatching season 3 of supernatural and. i'm 300 years late to the party and fixating on a character from literally One season but man bela talbot will always be like. in my top ten characters in that whole show. because i think complex morally grey female characters should be absolutely worshipped and loved. but in all seriousness- i love her character and the way she was written (which is a high compliment for supernatural lol) and i juuust need to get my thoughts out.

she's obviously written in at first just to bring some sort of chaos to sam and dean's lives and to be an antagonistic figure in bad day at black rock, and she makes that whole episode absolutely hilarious. like, of course she pretended to be a hot waitress and stole a rabbit's foot from sam's pocket and made his life comically difficult for a few hours by doing so. and of course bobby immediately knows her when dean calls to ask if he has any idea who would want the foot. she's so prolific that bobby's literally like, "some freaky woman stole a rabbits foot from y-? oh my god it's probably bela." and of course dean broke into her house to get it back and of course bela has a cat. and the episode ends with bela literally shooting sam while dean is talking about how "i happen to be able to read people. you're a thief, sure, but you wouldn't shoot someone-" while she's actively firing off a round into sam's shoulder. and then she steals $46,000 from them in lottery tickets and drives away. she's hilarious.

but then there's also this underlying parallel that i think is beautifully, and maybe unintentionally at some points, drawn up between dean and bela. viewers are obviously meant to root for dean and dislike bela, but if you squint... they're really not all that different. they just happened to go down two different paths, with dean choosing to use his knowledge of the supernatural to help other people, and bela using hers to help herself.

i'll touch on those comparisons in a second, but going into bela's backstory for a moment- her parents abused her, so she made the deal with lilith, the crossroads demon, to have them killed. what makes that even sadder when i think about it is the fact that bela could've easily killed her parents herself. you don't need a demon to slash the brake lines on your parents car. she was fourteen. she must have been beyond desperate if she were willing to exchange her soul, and agree to live for only 10 more years before going to hell, just to have them killed.

but with that in mind, back to my point about how similar dean and bela are... dean's father was also abusive in many ways- dean just struggled to see it that way. bela is a thief, yes- but dean manages to steal the rabbit's foot from bela, sneaky and undetected practically right from her damn pockets, and wave it in her face while leaving her house unharmed. she's conniving and lying and she doesn't use it for good, but dean is a liar as well- he just does use it for good, whether it be lying about being an FBI agent to get details on a case or lying to sam to try to stop him from worrying about him.

and they are both endlessly stubborn. in red sky at morning, when dean gets in her face talking about how the spirit only kills people who have killed their family, bela just tells him she had a good reason. she doesn't tell him her story, because she doesn't owe that to him, why should she? and in time is on my side, when bela is quite literally living through her last day alive, when her 10-year deal with the crossroads demon is coming to head, when dean has her up against a wall with a gun in her face, insulting her for what she did to her family, saying she makes him sick- bela offers no context. she loathes pity, doesn't want it. she lets him believe she did it for the inheritance when that isn't true at all. and she dies carrying that with her.

and all of that isn't to say bela is excused from what she does, or that she's really good deep down. she did irreparable damage to sam and dean and other people's lives. she's a conniving thief. she only uses the supernatural for her own personal gain. she doesn't really care about how her actions might affect others. and she doesn't have much regard for other people's lives.

but she's still so... human. and the fact that she's so morally grey is what makes her so wonderful. you don't want to like her but somehow a lot of people end up doing just that.

underneath that confident untouchable front she puts up, she's so helplessly human. she goes to sam and dean in red sky at morning to ask them for help because she's literally going to die, and she pays them when they do help her, awkwardly stating she "doesn't like owing people favors." she calls dean three minutes before she's literally going to die and go to hell. he's her last resort. and she begs him for help, and he tells her he can't, not anymore. she had her chance and she sold the colt anyway. in jus in bello (if i'm remembering correctly... i could be wrong), when dean calls bela and is all, "i'm gonna kill you," bela actually seems genuinely distressed and calls him back to tell her that she doesn't like having grudges with people, and she does something to try to make it up to him.

also let's talk about the fact that dean just has bela's number in his phone and that she has him in hers. and one of, if not the only time, we actually see him call her is to be like "hey bela! i'm going to fucking kill you i'm not even joking. bye!" kind of hilarious to me actually.

anyway. i think she's such an interesting character. she had her reasons for doing what she did the same way sam and dean had their reasons for doing what they did. and i really wish we could've gotten more backstory on her character. but yeah thats my thought dump for tonight.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Hello, i was just wondering what do you think of akuhigu as a ship? I mean I'm curious about how higuchi ended up being under akutagawa's direct command and why did she fall in love with that guy who constantly hits her and treats her poorly?! I really want asagiri to explore their relationship and not just show it as a one-sided crush without any explanation!!

As a ship? Erm, sorry no. As a dynamic? Heck yeah.

I'm curious as to how Higuchi ended up joining the Mafia in general. I'm already quite intrigued by the notion that she may have some connection to Mori - she's called into his office directly at the beginning of the manga, she's paralleled with Yosano in the scene where both Fukuzawa and Mori succumb to the Cannibalism Virus. There's been some thoughts on a healing type ability, given that she clearly reached out to an injured Akutagawa to do something. Also I know the story only really focuses on her crush, but she's got so much else going on that isn't ever elaborated on - she works hard ostensibly for her little sister, clearly has a "work persona", and is capable of shutting off her emotions and being cold and extremely professional during missions - remember the way she didn't even flinch at Dazai and Kunikida's ridiculousness? Honestly, I just want more Higuchi in general. She was the first Mafia character we the audience meets - why her?

And when it comes to Akutagawa, I think it's really easy to write off as "he just doesn't care about her at all" but I'm going to be honest - I don't think that's true. Akutagawa ranks above Higuchi, but she actually holds a fairly high rank herself, being his support essentially and able to command the Black Lizard - I sincerely doubt he would've kept her in such a position or have her be effectively his right hand if he didn't at least consider her very competent. 55 Minutes has them work quite well together if you're interested and haven't read it already anon, and I think it does show that he respects her at least a little.

He asks her for her thoughts on whether a captive is telling the truth

They bounce intel off of each other very smoothly

When the bomb goes off, the first thing we see him do is call out for Higuchi

Higuchi wasn't sure she could take out a set of guards alone so she tricked them into drinking what I'm assuming was a drugged bottle of sake to knock them out - Akutagawa thought this clever, and was genuinely amused by it

There's also moments in the series too, however brief. He does indeed apologize to her. He also intervenes shortly before Kyouka tries to slice her trigger finger - it could just be lucky timing but I like to think he intervened intentionally.

However, this does not change the fact that he demands her obedience (his rationale often being "because I said so"), and as you said, hitting her repeatedly. This is. Uncomfortable. I'll be honest I don't like Higuchi's writing in the series and this dynamic is largely why. If you're going to write a dynamic like this we could at least delve into it more and denote some interest - I know this whole set up is likely related to one of irl Higuchi's works (Jūsan'ya) where a woman is persuaded to stay in an abusive partnership because the man she is married to is upper class and provides for her lower class family. Higuchi-sensei's works I believe also have themes of unrequited love, and she chose to focus her writing on mostly lower-class people living their lives in general (at least, this is what I've seen. I'll admit I'm not especially familiar with her works.) The author did fall in love with her mentor and the love was unrequited - I'm assuming this is in part the inspiration here. Meanwhile, we know Akutagawa has this mentality of "cruel treatment gets results", which is in keeping with that ongoing theme of abusers in this series largely having good intent, but god-awful execution that is horribly unnecessary. Akutagawa is a product of his own experiences with this, which he projects onto others. I had hoped that this dynamic might've been the first one we got any change in as his character development furthers... but instead it just kind of got sidelined. ...not that I really fully trust it to be given a proper resolution anyways. This kind of stuff is very touchy to me for personal reasons, I'll be honest. :/

On the subject of Higuchi's crush though, I do think Akutagawa is actually aware. Higuchi's not exactly subtle about it, and I take his constant ignoring and changing the subject as discomfort rather than complete obliviousness. If their dynamic does end up becoming a little healthier, it would be kind of funny if it ended a similar way to irl Higuchi's crush... who grew to consider her like a sister instead. Lol. Heartbreaking for poor Higuchi, but actually rather heartwarming for Akutagawa - to admit he considers Higuchi as family? To have family other than Gin? That would be cool tbh.

[laurellerual]

how do you think the curse of harrenhal would play out with arya if she becomes lady during the long night?

Anon is referencing this post. I began by questioning whether a curse really exists. It's a widespread legend, but Martin never confirms it, just as he never confirms that behind the magic there are gods who care about the fate of humanity.

Many of the families that held Harrenhal have died out for contingent reasons. They often had in common that they were relatively small families, who ended up there overnight thanks to connections to the crown; a lot of ambition and little experience in managing such a big castle. But the doubt that a curse exists remains.

House Hoar and the curse

Those who believe, in world, that the curse exists explain it as a punishment for Harren the Black's hubris and maybe that's true, but I think we can't ignore how much it looks related to the Old Gods.

House Hoare went to great lengths to be cursed by the Gods far before Harrenhal was built. When the Andals invaded Westeros they allied with the invaders, married Andal women, brought the Faith of the Seven to the Iron Islands, conquered the Riverlands from the Storm King of Storm's End, a Durrandon king with blood of the First men.

Harren chose the site to erect his castle on the banks of the Gods Eye, he enslaved half the population (probably people still mostly loyal to the Old gods) and above all he cut down Weirwoods which had existed for three thousand years.

Perhaps all that is needed to break the curse is one person who does not abuse her power and does not offend the Gods with her mere presence. Arya's Gods seem to love her enough to give us that beautiful scene where she hears her father's voice whispering to her from the trees.

The Ladies of Harrenhal

It's not difficult to think of a lord of Harrenhal who has come to a bad end, but what about the ladies?

It is rather rare in Westeros for a lady to hold the power of a holdfast on her own right rather than in the name of her husband or son, yet Harrenhal has four cases of this. Still there are so many lords in the castle's history that the only four ladies look like white flies.

They have common characteristics, but the most obvious is the way their fate seems different from that of the lords, or at least more mysterious.

Shella Whent is the Lady of Harrenhal at the beginning of AGOT. She first appears in a Cat's chapter: Lady Whent, last of her line, who dwelt with her ghosts in the cavernous vaults of Harrenhal. (I love it, very poetic, it reminds a bit of the Jenny's song)

We then discover that Lady Whent surrendered Harrenhal for lack of men to defend it. But Arya doesn't know and she thinks: Arya could reveal herself to Lady Whent, and the knights would escort her home and keep her safe. This was what knights did; they kept you safe, especially the women. Perhaps Lady Whent would even help the crying girl. (She refers to weasel, but the crying girl also represents a side of Arya, the one she's trying to suppress in order to survive. Perhaps the Lady of Harrenhal also represents a part of Arya).

When Arya arrives at the castle Lady Whent has escaped. At the Red Wedding Sandon Clagane introduces himself as Lady Whent's servant and is asked if the lady intends to buy back Harrenhal with a horse. Petyr Baelish tells Sansa that Shella died, but her whereabouts and how she died are unknown.

She is listed in the ADWD appendix as the dispossessed lady of Harrenhal. Every time we get close to discovering her fate, she keeps eluding us. Is she really dead? Why is it not marked in the appendix?

Danelle Lothston was the last member of House Lothston to hold the castle. Of her we know that: When Lord Brynden Rivers, Hand of Aerys I Targaryen, marched on Whitewalls to put down the Second Blackfyre Rebellion, Lady Danelle was among the Riverlords who flocked to her support, marching in great force.

Lady Danelle took to the dark arts during the reign of Maekar I Targaryen, causing madness and chaos and the downfall of Lothston's kindred.

But what happened to her? When did she die? How did she die?

Even more interesting are the unofficial ladies of Harrenhal. These two women are the only ones who have not been granted the title from the crown, but have in fact held this office (And I think Arya situation might be similar):

Rhaena Targaryen lived a tragic life, she was lady of the castle in an unofficial way. The wiki says of her: Her hair turned white as she aged, and the people of the Riverlands came to fear her as a witch. Nonetheless, she Rhaena would bestow hospitality on any traveler who came to Harrenhal.

She reigned there until her death presumably of old age

Alys Rivers began her journey at Harrenhal as little more than a servant. She lived a tragic life and was unofficially lady of the castle.

It was said of her that: A number of broken men and marauding outlaws began to gather in Harrenhal under the rule of a witch queen witch. But how long did she reign? We only know that: Aegon's regents concluded that they would need to gather a larger force to recapture Harrenhal, but their plans were interrupted by Winter Fever in 133 AC.

This happens when Alys was already a middle-aged woman. Then we have no more news of her fate. We only know that the Lothstons became lords of Harrenhal nearly thirty years later. How did Alys die? Did she reign at Harrenhal all that time?

Why are the Ladies of Harrenhal subject to so many exceptions to their counterparts? 2/4 unofficial, 3/4 accused of witchcraft, 3/4 with unknown fates.

Maybe it's just a coincidence, or maybe I've found a pattern.

[nientedenada]

Argonian Raids and Presence in Morrowind in the 4th Era 

I still don't have any real good conclusion about this jumbled set of facts. So basically, TES has been slowly retconning away the scope of the destruction of Morrowind after the Red Year. When it's first mentioned in the Keyes novels, it's almost absolute. It still sounds pretty bleak in base game Skyrim, but there are still Dunmer in Morrowind. Then the Dragonborn DLC really limits the destruction, with information about how Morrowind began rebuilding within weeks of the Red Year. And then there's this stuff, which may or may not be retconned. Originally posted on r/teslore:

I know what a lot of you are already thinking: the idea that the Argonians kept any of Morrowind after the War of Accession is a fandom myth. Morrowind has been rebuilding for nearly two centuries, and is currently run by a council presided over by House Redoran. In-game maps show that the borders of Morrowind haven't changed. And all that is true but .... is it exactly true?

As a fandom, I think we've over-corrected when it comes to Argonians in Morrowind. I don't think there's enough information to exactly determine the situation, but there is more than enough information to suggest that there's on-going Argonian presence in some of Morrowind's territories, and that hostilities may never have entirely ceased. Let me present the sources.

1. The Keyes' Novels: 4E 40, 34 Years after the Acession War

Argonians are said to control the Scathing Bay, the former site of Vivec City on Vvardenfall.

“This is all controlled by Argonians now,” he said, “although they obviously don't live here. But they do have some ritual associated with this crater, what is now called the Scathing Bay. I arrived here during the ritual, so after running through half the realms of Oblivion, I had to keep running until they gave up, somewhere in the Valus Mountains."

They are also said to have settled in large numbers in southern Morrowind.

Ash, lava, and tidal waves had done their work, and when that was calmed, the Argonians had come, eager to repay what survived of his people for millennia of abuse and enslavement. Of course, those that had settled in southern Morrowind were likely regretting it now, as Umbriel moved over their villages."

The distinction of whether Argonians are settlers inside a Morrowind without new borders or Argonians control those areas is an important one. The information on Scathing Bay is definitely the second. The information on Southern Morrowind is less clear on that. (And we also don't know how those Argonian settlers were effected by Umbra in the end.)

2. Argonian Raids Don't Stop With End of Accession War

We have two separate sources with information on Argonian raids long after the Acession War. The first, from A History of Raven Rock, details an Argonian raid on Solstheim.

In 4E150, a small force of Argonians landed on Solstheim with the intent of wreaking havoc on the island, and Councilor Morvayn led the charge against them personally.

and Dreya Alor in Raven Rock says

We lived in a settlement perhaps a league from the border of Black Marsh, the homeland of the Argonians. Even though the Argonian Invasion ended a long time ago, there are still a few scale-skin clans that live within our borders. To put it simply, they attacked our settlement and slaughtered almost everyone. It was horrible."

3. Argonian Presence Inside Morrowind's Borders

Two more sources on Argonian settlements inside Morrowind's Borders, to add to the ones above.

Talen-Jei tells you:

Keerava has some family at a farm just inside of Morrowind.

This might just be an individual family, but I include it because of another Riften conversation, overheard in the Thieves' Guild.

Delvin: "Puttin' together another shipment from Morrowind, Vekel. Lookin' for anythin' special?" Vekel the Man: "Well, if some Moon Sugar should fall into your lap........" Delvin: "Maybe. That stuffs gettin' tough to bring across the border with all the Argonian patrols." Vekel the Man: "Well if it turns up, I'll be willing to buy."

The Morrowind/Skyrim border near Riften is patrolled by Argonians, huh?

4. Putting It All Together

Well, I can't. There's not enough evidence to put together a clear picture of Argonian settlement or power in Morrowind. But it sure doesn't look like hostilities ceased entirely with the Accession War or that Morrowind territory is exclusively under Dunmer control.

The border doesn't appear to have shifted, but this does not mean the state of affairs on the ground is the same. In comparison, the Empire doesn't seem to have every acknowledged Morrowind's secession, yet we know that they are in practice treated as Independent. It's perfectly lore-compatible for Independent Argonian communities to exist within the borders of Morrowind and exert some level of control of their areas (as seen near the Riften border). These folk aren't even necessarily all immigrants to Morrowind since the 3rd Era; there were plenty of ex-slaves for whom Morrowind was their home.

Some of these communities may have peaceful relationships with the Dunmer government of Morrowind. But Argonian raiding has continued to be a problem in the centuries past the Accession War, as demonstrated in Lleril Morvayn and Dreyla Alor's life stories.