#disillusioned . tcf

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 6 . Truth

a/n: i think my blood count is running low again so i might not be able to write for a while but idk yet. also my class schedule is literally from 9 am to 7 pm so i don't really know when i'll be able to write 🥲

tags: abuse as the norm, reader doesn't know better. unintentional self-harm(?), hints of power tripping

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read navi)

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On doesn’t know how to tell Cale about the things she found out.

Well, it’s not a matter of her hesitating to tell him. There’s no way On would hesitate to tell Cale, someone she has come to see as her parental figure, such important information. Rather, it's the timing of things that made her hesitate every time.

From the moment Cale woke up things have been hectic. There are changes to their schedule and a lot more things to do. Especially now that they managed to capture some of Arm’s members.

With everyone busy running around here and there, On took it upon herself to make sure _____ doesn’t get injured.

The silver kitten can’t fully comprehend why someone would offer their all for other people to the point of being on the brink of death. Saving people is good, but one should not overdo it. After all, being alive is the best thing as Cale had taught her.

Well, Cale is also self-sacrificial but that's On’s headache for another day.

For now, she focuses on limiting the healer to use their healing abilities as much as possible and trying to find the chance to tell Cale the issue.

“Don’t worry, it's dangerous but not dangerous as in you will get hurt dangerous.”

If Cale looked at her funnily then On pretended not to notice. The important thing is she finally managed to tell him that they must talk about _____’s powers. Since the redhead must first go and attend some business, On opted to just give Cale a snippet and continue it after they get back.

And so that night, after having dinner with the cute half-rat half-dwarf Mueller, Cale and On finally had their overdue talk.

Aside from them and the other two children, Choi Han, Beacrox, and Ron are also in the room to listen in. 

“If that’s the case then chances are _____-nim’s healing abilities work like a transfer.”

Silence filled the room at Choi Han’s comment. All of them are thinking about how to confirm such things.

“We can just talk to _____ themself! They’re super nice so I’m sure they’ll tell us.”

“But maybe that will be uncomfortable for little _____”

Raon shut down Hong’s suggestion. However, Cale thinks it’s a good idea.

“It’s not like we have much option, we either ask them directly or sneak around to see evidence while they are using their power.”

And safe to say that Cale wants to choose the less hassle option, asking _____ directly.

After scamming– selling the research remains of the Magic Tower to Toonka and talking to Choi Han, Cale managed to squeeze talking to _____ in his schedule.

While the swordmaster was out to get the healer, Cale felt a sense of dread. He suddenly thought of how _____ never seems to share their story. This makes him think about the chance that maybe the healer is simply unwilling to share the information.

He may be trash but he's not a jerk who will force someone to share their story if it will resurface their trauma.

“So you have no problem telling me? Why haven’t you said anything until now?”

Turns out, _____ is more than okay sharing everything with Cale. They stated that whatever it is Cale needed to know, they are willing to share as long as they know of it.

“It’s because Cale-sunbae has never asked me? They say that if someone of my status shares something personal unprompted then it will be burdensome for the other party. It is also bad to speak unprompted, they said that it’s bad enough that punishment is due when such a misdemeanour is committed.”

Cale Henituse has a pretty good idea as to who that “they” is but he internalizes his anger and decides to focus on the task at hand. He motions for _____ to continue speaking.

“Cale-sunbae, I’m sure you’ve heard of how I got adopted?”

“Yes, what about that story?”

“That story is a lie. Why they lied about it is something I am unsure of.

I was originally from an orphanage. This orphanage is different because they sell gifted children, the children vary from beast children to children with special abilities like me.”

‘Sounds more like a human trafficking scheme, but I can't be sure.’

Cale thought to himself as he listened to _____ talk.

“I have been adopted because the Perduellios were on the verge of going bankrupt. They decided to adopt a child with special abilities so they could maximize the wealth and glory that comes with it. It is also the real reason why I am not affiliated with the Sun God church. However, it is also true that my health would not be able to handle the workload of being a holy maiden”

If _____ is officially affiliated with the church then they would essentially be a property of the church. Minimizing the profits the family can get.

“There’s also the fact that they said I would humiliate the family if I’m not under their supervision- Ah, I’m sorry! I just realized that I’m getting off-track”

“No, continue. I’m quite curious as to how that family raised you.”

Did what Cale said surprised him? Definitely. He is usually someone who does not actively seek out such things as it brings more headaches.

But oh well, _____ is one of his people anyway so it wouldn’t hurt to know about their enemies. Even if the healer isn't aware they are enemies.

“How was I raised? I was raised normally, just like how other people have been. The Perduellios gave me food, clothing, and a roof over my head. I think they were a little strict with me but they said it was because there are so many things I have to learn.”

“Strict how?”

“Instead of tutors and teachers, they used more physical ways to teach me. They said it was a little unconventional but the only way I would learn things fast.

They had a lot of unspoken rules that I had to follow. They said that usually, a child will gradually learn what those rules are as they grow up. However, they opted to punish me for every rule I broke as I am behind my peers.”

‘What a load of bullshit. That’s not normal at all.’

Cale internally sighed before asking what kind of punishment they got. _____ explained that it’s either being whipped or having hot candle wax poured on their skin, whatever the family’s biological child deemed fitting at the moment.

The healer was asked if they figured out what some of those rules were and they said they had.

They are not allowed to speak when not spoken to

They must always answer when spoken to

They must never speak to other nobles as they are a peasant

They are not allowed to have servants and must never ask any servant for help (this was why they never bothered Hans, Ron, and Beacrox)

They are not allowed to go somewhere without guards

They must only take what their adoptive family gives to them

They must refer to their adoptive family as father, mother, and big sister outside, but must call them call them by their noble titles in private

All gifts given to them must go to the family

They are not allowed to refuse to heal anyone, the only exceptions are if it's beyond their capabilities (like chronic illness)

When they heal someone the family must be informed. 

They said that there was more that they did not figure out. However, Cale thinks that all of this is just a bunch of bullshit excuses used to hurt and exploit a child that didn't know better. Then as a result, even as an adult that person still doesn't know any better.

“Human! This is not normal! Little _____ has been deceived by those trash people! You better get revenge on them too!”

Both Cale and Raon are on the same page. Even before the dragon’s comment, Cale was already thinking about what he could do about _____’s family.

However, there was another thing that concerned the redhead.

It was the way _____ was telling the story.

Aside from the usual calmness they had, they were speaking as though it wasn't their story. It was as if they were just relaying the morning news.

To some extent, Cale thinks it's advantageous for the healer to be able to separate themselves from what happened. Even if they aren't aware that what they went through was abuse.

However, it wasn't like that.

It was more like _____ has become detached from things relating to themself.

Cale would even dare say that maybe it's because they are scared to face the hurt and longing they felt.

Not that the man is speaking from experience.

“How come you had no marks on your body? Even at the City of Life the only ones the doctor saw were the wounds you had that day.”

“Ah, that is part of my abilities. Even though I can’t heal myself, my body heals wounds a little faster than average and is incapable of scarring.”

‘This… just how lucky were those bastards that they even had the perfect cover-up?’

While Cale was thinking about how to make the Perduellios disappear from the face of the world, _____ further explained how their healing powers work.

“For my healing abilities, a percentage of my patients' wounds or sickness will transfer onto me. Ah don’t worry as I will only get around 70% of whatever I am healing and it will not be contagious whatever it may be. In return, I can give them some of my vitality. I say I give around 3% of my vitality per patient and then it is multiplied when I transfer it to them.”

Cale swallows the curse words he wants to say. He feels immense frustration at the person who seems to be more concerned at the possibility of Cale thinking they’ll get the entire group sick, and not at the fact that they’re giving their health away to random strangers.

“Uhm you might be thinking that the vitality thing is the reason why I have a weak body but it's not. Apparently, I was just unlucky and happened to have a body this weak.”

Huuuu

The redhead feels as though he will curse a storm if he doesn’t at least sigh.

“Because of how my abilities work, the more severely wounded or sick someone is, the harder it will be for me to heal them. Things like small scratches or common colds would not hurt but more severe wounds might have dire consequences on my body. That’s why I can’t heal severed limbs or terminal illnesses.”

The Medicus proceeds to explain that in theory, they can heal those things. However, it might cost them some part of the same limb or their lifespan as well as some manifestations of the illness.

“Human, let's not make little _____ heal anyone! That power is dangerous for them!”

Cale agrees with the dragon to some extent. But he also thinks that they can still use it as long as it’s in moderation.

“Hmm, I guess in theory I might also be able to revive a dead person once if I get to them right after they die. Though I think I’d have a week left to live if I did that. I haven’t tested it out yet so I’m not sure…”

Cale did not need to know that. There's absolutely no way he'll let this healer revive someone from the dead at the cost of their own life.

“...Don’t. No testing out any of those things. No testing out healing terminally ill people. The same goes for people with severe or paralyzed limbs. Just don’t okay?”

_____ doesn’t quite understand Cale’s requests but agrees nonetheless. The redhead is their benefactor so it would only be right to follow his wishes even if they don't understand why he would make such requests.

What the healer didn’t notice was the way the noble’s face hardened for a second when they were talking about reviving a dead person.

Cale is definitely going to keep a closer eye on them.

Maybe even ask Hillsman to be their personal knight…

No, never mind. _____ already grew up suffocated by the amount of guards they had following them. Cale isn't evil enough to recreate that.

So maybe he'll just make sure the healer doesn't leave his side?

“As for my ancient power, you already know that it’s a water-type power. I can look at someone’s “blood flow” to roughly figure out how strong and what species they are. As to how I accurately know the species of what I'm looking at, the owner of the power tells me. He was also the one who told me to hide my power from everyone. He doesn't speak much, he just tells me what someone is when I ask for it or when he feels like it.

Another thing it does is allow me to sense any living creatures in water. This is as long as we are touching the same water as what happened when I first met Raon Miru-nim.

It also allows me to replenish someone’s energy and stamina. However, I can’t do anything about hunger. Fainting is something I can prevent, but Cale-sunbae’s condition is special as you pass out because of your abilities so I can’t interfere with that. I’m sorry.”

They looked really sorry for not being able to prevent Cale from passing out. A big part of why they can’t interfere is because if they do then they will be breaking the ancient power’s flow of work.

“Last question.”

Cale feels like he knows the answer but he still wants to hear _____’s perspective.

“Why do you still insist on giving your all for people who will never appreciate what you do?”

It’s a foreign question for the healer. Something no one has asked before. 

Something they didn’t even think about.

Even before they were adopted they have always been draining themself for others. The motion of offering themself up to others is as natural as a fish looking for water.

It didn’t matter if they were unloved or unwanted.

In fact, _____ knew in the back of their mind that no one loved them.

“I am both unwanted or unneeded. Then isn’t it only right that I present myself to be used until nothing is left of me?”

That was the conclusion they had come to.

Their life would have no meaning if they didn’t let others use them. Maybe there is, but _____ doesn’t know what could it be. Already so used to their current way of living.

“I understand now.”

That was all that Cale said to _____’s explanation of their powers. He told the healer to go back to their tent and rest.

As soon as it was just him and Raon in the room, Cale roughly rubbed his hands through his face.

Cale summarized in his head that in a way _____'s ability wasn't really healing but more like transferring. They multiply and transfer their vitality to make someone better.

The ability itself was easy to understand. Setting up measures to make sure _____ doesn’t overdo it is also easy.

However, Cale Henituse still feels frustrated.

And he can’t quite fathom why he feels that way.

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned Prologue . Meaning - Cale/Reader

notes: what better way to get use to writing again than writing a slow burn fic while I reread the novel? And yes that first line is from genshin

tags for the overall fic: NOVEL SPOILERS (covers almost the entirety of book 1), depression, anxiety, injuries, war, abuse, torture, detrimental way of thinking, abuse as the norm, slow burn, gn! reader, weak reader, healer reader, insecurities, hints of yandere if you squint, Cale/Reader

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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What does freedom really mean when demanded of you by a god?

In fact does one need a god to attain freedom?

What about those beloved by the gods?

Do they really have no choice but to just lay there and receive whatever god has planned for them?

Or can you forcefully attain this so-called freedom with your own hands?

But what about afterwards?

What about the repercussions of falling out of god’s grace?

Is it all worth it?

No, is this really what god had planned?

Or is there something more to do?

Something that you have to find out for yourself.

Something you have to attain with your own power.

+~+~+~+~+~+

‘Why was such a person not mentioned in the book?’

In Cale’s opinion, the person healing him right now looked important enough to at least be a side character in The Birth of a Hero.

‘With that kind of title too… Roan Kingdom’s Medicus…’

A title that sounds straight out of a fantasy novel. It really is a mystery why such a person didn’t get a single word of mention in the novel Cale had read before he got transported into this world.

‘Oh well, not my problem. We won’t be meeting after this anyways.’

Is it really not his problem now?

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 1 . Horrible Intuition - Cale/Reader

notes: I'll try to update this once a week

tags: mild cursing

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

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Requests are open and welcome

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Kim Rok Soo’s knowledge about the new world he is in was all from the novel titled ‘Birth of a Hero’. That and whatever he had read in his study at the Henituse castle.

So when those reddish-brown eyes of his landed on an unknown figure that looked important, he was confused. Good thing Eric Wheelsman has his back, aware that his dongsaeng is not up to date in whatever’s going on in the capital.

“I’m not sure if you’ve heard of them but that’s _____ Perduellio, known as Roan Kingdom's Medicus[1], and they are a northeasterner too. They have been adopted by the Perduellio family who is aligned with the Gyerre Duchy.”

The person in question was busy running around healing whoever they could. They were wearing a white robe that reminded Cale of Ancient Greece or Egypt[2]. However, this one looks more luxurious as unnecessary details have been added such as gold linings, sash, beads, and crystals.

Despite all those details what caught Cale Henituse's attention was not their clothing. Rather, the number of guards they have following them.

“It is said that they have a weak body so they have guards everywhere. The story was that the Perduellio couple encountered _____ on the streets when they were 4 years old and immediately felt a connection that’s why they were adopted. Then 5 years later, they manifested a healing ability that seems to be a blessing from the Sun God. Oh, they can also perform small light tricks. In fact, I think they were supposed to showcase some of it today.”

Midway through Eric’s words Cale had stopped paying attention. Instead, he observes the adopted Perduellio. Eric might say that the guards are there for _____’s safety, but to the redhead, it looks as though they are guarding a criminal.

‘Oh well it’s not like I’ll meet them anytime so not my problem’

…Cale spoke too soon.

After the plaza incident, Crown Prince Alberu requested for that very same person to be Cale’s healer. It was to strengthen that image of the crown providing the young master of the Henituse County with the best as he recovered. 

While Cale understands and agrees with the intention, he has a hunch that this decision will smack him in the back later.

“Don’t worry young master, I know all information about young master _____ and have deemed them safe! Actually, the second child of the Perduellio family is said to be something akin to an unofficial maiden of the Sun God. The only reason it’s unofficial is because they are not officially affiliated with the Sun God Church as the Perduellio’s said their health would not be able to handle it.”

Cale, who is now relaxed and lying down on a bed meant for foreign officials, became a bit interested in this fact. Even though the Roan Kingdom has no official religion, families would still consider it a great honour if one of their relatives were deemed a saint or a holy maiden.

“The young master also doesn’t have to worry about political battles. Even though the Perduellios support the third prince, young master _____ is known for not taking any political sides. This is especially true when it comes to helping those in need. It is also why the young master is famous even with the common people.”

What Hans said brought some relief to Cale’s mind. He already has enough on his plate and he doesn’t want to add to it by joining a political strife. But even if he did he’s sure he could make the crown prince act as his shield. 

Hans finishes his report by saying that Cale is to be healed 2 times before the King gathers everyone and makes a proclamation. Each session will last up to 30 minutes only. This was because the crown prince insisted that no guard shall enter Cale’s room while _____ is healing him. The limited time is the Perduellio County’s compromise as they reasoned they don’t want _____ to become sick.

“Humans are odd, why are they healing other people when they are sick? Well, you weak human also save people when you are weak yourself…”

Cale pays no attention to the black dragon’s ramblings in his head as he observes _____ who has come to heal him. 

“That’s odd, I thought the guards were for that human’s safety. Why do they look more relaxed now that those guards are gone?”

He can’t hear anything. Cale can’t hear anything. Blah. Blah. Blah.

He doesn’t need to know any more unnecessary details that might potentially hinder his slacker life. He has already heard too much about the crown prince, no need to find out secrets about this healer that weren’t even mentioned in the book.

However, he can’t deny that the guards are acting odd. They are too strict with the time, and instead of it looking like they are worried. To Cale, it looks as if Roan's Medicus is a prisoner who’s granted limited visiting time.

During the two sessions everyone, Cale and the children averaging 7 years old, could tell that the healer knew that Cale was fine and didn’t need to be healed. This is more prominent by how the only thing they seem to be doing is removing Cale’s stomachache from eating while lying down and replenishing his energy.

Speaking of replenishing his energy.

The Vitality of the Heart works wonders when it comes to keeping Cale in tip-top condition 24/7. However, _____ makes him feel more refreshed. Every time the healer replenishes his energy he feels as though he has taken a particularly good bath. As if he was soaking in freshwater where the temperature was just right. 

Weird considering that their power is supposed to be from the Sun God.

“Human this is weird! That human seems to be using a new power, but don’t worry this great and mighty being can tell that it isn’t dangerous!”

Maybe if Cale tries really hard enough then he will not hear unnecessary comments that can jeopardise his slacker life…

“This is our last session correct?”

“Yes, uhm as you already know young master Cale, this will be the last time I get to officially check on you. You seem to be fine now but try to rest if you can. I heard that you’re going sightseeing in the Ubarr territory, I hope the sea can help you relax.”

Their soft and gentle voice along with tempting words about resting, slacking off in Cale’s vocabulary, sounded like music to the young man’s ears. Unfortunately, his itinerary in the Ubarr territory doesn’t line up with the doctor’s prescription.

“Really weird… Now that I pay more attention to it, they kinda smell like you human…”

But first, Cale is going to pretend to be deaf for his sanity…

Also, smell? Again? Just what does he smell like? First, it was the crown prince, then it was this baby dragon. Why does everyone have questions regarding smell?

In any case, it’s not like they’ll meet again right?

Wrong again! 

Cale was unfortunate enough to encounter the healer again while they were in the Dubori territory of the Caro Kingdom. Poor Cale was planning to pretend he didn’t see anything. But since his luck seemed negative, they made eye contact as soon as he thought of his great plan.

Well, it’s only right to properly greet his healer back in the capital right?

“I didn’t expect to see you here young master _____ much less without guards.”

“Ah no young master Cale, I still have them. They are just currently changing shifts so I have a few minutes to myself.”

A few minutes to themself… Perduellio’s adopted child said in their usual soft, gentle, and almost inaudible voice that Cale wouldn’t have caught it if they weren’t in close proximity. Cale had known since back at the capital how soft-spoken _____ was but didn’t expect that it would be this difficult to hear them.

However, he still caught and heard those words.

Words that again, sound as though there’s more to _____ than being the precious adopted child of the Perduellio’s family.

“However young master Cale, you look as though you are going beyond the territory walls. Please be careful as I’ve read about a phenomenon occasionally happening there.”

“What could that be?”

“I’ve read in an ancient text that dead mana rises there sometimes, but no one knows when it happens…”

_____ suddenly stopped speaking as they noticed a few things:

Their guards are coming over, and;

Tasha caught their eye

“Oh seems like my guards are here. Also, I would like to apologise as I didn’t realise…”

The usual prim and proper _____ is now rushing to get back to their guards making Cale unable to hear the last bit of their sentence. 

Good thing the invisible black dragon did.

“Human! That weird human knows that Tasha is a Dark Elf! While they were bowing to you I heard them say ‘I would like to say sorry as I didn’t realize you have a Dark Elf with you’.”

What now? Cale couldn’t comprehend how _____, whose supposed power was only healing and light magic tricks could know. So he asked Tasha if any nobles knew about her.

“Me as a Dark Elf? No way young master, that’s like asking for a death sentence. However, I am a bit close to Perduellio’s blessed child. Even though they are blessed by the Sun God, their healing powers don't have any purification in them.”

Safe to assume that _____ has known about Tasha for quite a while now but hasn’t said anything.

Cale can feel an additional headache coming. He has a hunch that this would be far from the last time he deals with that healer.

And wouldn’t you know…

Not even a day later Cale encounters _____ again. This time it’s in the most unlikely place you’ll see a child of the Sun God would be. 

The City of the Dark Elves.

Or the City of Life as they named it.

It was a peaceful morning, their stay in the City of Life was extended because of the dead mana rising. Despite that, Cale didn’t mind as he planned to take this chance to sightsee and talk to the necromancer. 

“Young master Cale, young master _____ is now in our healing ward. I don’t know what happened to them but they seem to be in bad shape. I figured I’d let you know as they were your healer previously. I have also sent a message to the crown prince.”

…Who would have thought the first thing Cale gets to sightsee in this city of life is this world’s version of a hospital.

‘Ah damn it, why is my intuition always right?!’

[1] Medicus is the Latin term for healer that stemmed from Medeor that means to heal or cure

[2] my main vision was Claude de Alger Obelia's clothes minus the chest window lol

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned Masterlist - Cale/Reader

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Cale meets someone who looks like they should be a prominent character in TBOAH but there's not a single mention of them. He then tries to dismiss it as it's not his problem. His efforts will be proven futile Cale/Gn!Reader

Prologue . Meaning

Chapter 1 . Horrible Intuition

Chapter 2 . Abandoned, Adopted

Chapter 3 . Abandoned, Adopted (2)

Chapter 4 . Musings

Chapter 5 . As I Know It

Chapter 6 . Truth

Chapter 7 . Truth (2)

Chapter 8 . Nothing More, Nothing Less

Chapter 9 . Nothing More, Nothing Less (2)

Chapter 10 . Nothing More, Nothing Less (3)

Chapter 11 . Nothing More, Nothing Less (4)

Chapter 12 . Henituse

Chapter 13 . Insecurity, My Old Friend

Chapter 14 . Insecurity, My Old Friend (2)

Chapter 15 . Limelight

Chapter 16 . Heterogeneity

Chapter 17 . Heterogeneity (2)

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 8 . Nothing More, Nothing Less

tags: feelings in progress, author trying to write cliche romance scenes and cringing, author can't do scene changes T-T

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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"Don't"

Cale suddenly spoke to _____. It has been a few hours after their conversation with the Golden Dragon Eruhaben.

"Don't even think about it. If you heal that dragon it will cost you your lifespan."

"...I understand young ma– I mean Cale-sunbae"

Cale Henituse doesn’t trust that one bit, but he needs to go out. He needs to go get his prize for working hard in the Jungle.

So he leaves the adults that are staying in Eruhaben’s lair reminders about _____. Only then was he able to leave with peace of mind.

“Little _____ being alive is precious! You know that right?”

It hasn’t even been 5 seconds since Cale left and Raon is already chatting up the healer. In the corner of the room, the ancient dragon pretends to not listen in on their conversation.

“Of course Raon Miru-nim. Living and being alive is the best thing.”

“Yes, you’re right smart _____!”

The baby dragon was silent for a second. He stared at the healer before flying over to their lap and lying there as if it were his personal pillow.

“Why did you think of doing that then?”

Raon’s voice was completely serious. The playfulness from earlier is gone.

It took _____ a few seconds to figure out what the black dragon was talking about.

“It was just a passing thought… That and isn’t it only right? As someone born with this kind of power, it would be right for me to use it for good.”

Eruhaben, who didn’t know the full extent of this healer's powers and had only heard that they were a healer from Pendrik, became confused at the direction this conversation was taking. What does living have to do with using their powers?

“But _____ you’ll die! I don’t want you to, we don’t want you to. If you die then I’ll destroy everything except the human and our other friends!”

The dragon’s gaze turned vicious for a second but returned to normal before _____ could see. He's a smart dragon, so after hearing the things the healer went through, he knows he has to be careful to not scare this human. It’s only right to have this much consideration for his friends.

“Don’t do that Raon-nim, you might get hurt. I promise not to die.”

“I’m not gonna get hurt. I’m great and mighty!”

“Yes, that is true, but I still worry.”

It was then _____’s turn to be silent. It looks as though they are thinking about how to formulate the right words.

“As I said Raon-nim doing things like this is part of my responsibility for being blessed with this kind of power. However, more than that… I think it would only be right to do this much for Eruhaben-nim. After all, he's going to give us a lot of things for free.”

Raon who has been intently listening prompted _____’s hands to pet him. The healer complied and started petting the dragon as they continued to speak.

“But again, it was just a passing thought. I’m not even sure if what we’re thinking is possible. I just want to pay Eruhaben-nim for the things his giving us.”

For a moment the baby dragon stopped nuzzling his head on _____’s stomach to get his point across.

“It’s fine we’ll manage to pay back Goldie Gramps even without your healing powers! I’m sure the human will find something!”

“I’m sure he will.”

Raon was almost sure he could see the faint smile that lingered on the healer’s lips. It was so small but Raon was sure it was there. He makes a silent promise that next time he’ll make _____  fully smile.

Like that, the members left in Eruhaben’s lair spent a peaceful time waiting for Cale.

Meanwhile, the same thing can’t be said for Cale.

The man is currently brewing a headache. Out of all people he just had to run into the wanted holy maiden and saint of the Mogoru Empire. Out of all things the holy maiden just had to be the swordmaster they fought in Hais. Out of all things that same person just had to be poisoned by dead mana.

Surprisingly, not really if you ask On, on their way back Cale’s main concern is not letting _____ know about the situation. He can’t risk the healer insisting on healing that fake holy maiden. Especially not when he's pretty sure Mary can handle it. 

If _____ knew then it would just turn into an annoying predicament for him. 

Nothing more, nothing less.

“Sure, if that’s what you say.”

That’s why he pushes On’s voice away from his head. He doesn’t even know why he thought of her. Contrary to the silver kitten's assumptions he didn’t care that much for the healer. He just felt a sense of responsibility since he took them under his wing.

Again, nothing more, nothing less.

Luckily an opportunity to question what happened in the Jungle did not arise.

As soon as Cale got back he was too busy conspiring with the crown prince as well as trying to find the earth's ancient power.

By the time they had any free time the Jungle was almost forgotten as their attention had been focused on the underground villa that came with the ancient power.

Everyone else used the free time they had acquired to train and get stronger. Everyone except Cale and _____ that is.

Since the two are weak in the physical aspect and have powers that cannot be fortified, the two opt to watch from the sidelines and provide moral support. 

At first, they just idly sit somewhere as they watch everyone else, only getting up to eat. Then after a few days, they were having full-blown tea parties. Well, it’s more like Cale will ask _____ if they want sweets, to which the healer would say no, Cale would then proceed to ask Beacrox to make some for him, and then when the sweets arrive he would insist that there’s too much so _____ must help him finish it or else the chef will have both of their heads.

Beacrox finds it quite amusing how _____ falls for it every time. 

Everything is fine and dandy. Well, almost everything. There’s just one thing that bothers Cale a little.

He was jealous of _____.

It’s comedic really. Because he was jealous of how _____ could move away whenever something important was being reported. Whenever someone goes to their designated tea table _____ would be seen standing up and moving away to give them some space.

In a way, it pisses off Cale because he knows the trauma associated with the habit.

But on the other hand…

He was so so jealous.

If only he could do the same thing then he’d be closer to his slacker life.

Cale wishes he could also just magically disappear whenever an annoying report is coming.

But alas he can’t.

So he takes in all the troublesome information he wishes he didn’t know.

Just don’t mention out loud how there seems to be a timer for how long you can report to him.

Three to five minutes is fine. During that time frame, Cale will still be attentive. Any more than that then everyone will see how his eyes seem to dart back and forth towards the healer.

As if longing for their company. Okay maybe not longing because Cale says it isn’t that, and whatever he says goes.

But anyway, everyone knows not to keep the healer away from the young master for too long.

If confronted about it, which wouldn’t happen unless one of the children is inquisitive, Cale would deflect that it was just because _____ is a good conversationalist. 

Nothing more, nothing less.

Sure at first it took a while to get a flow going because of the healer’s habit of needing permission to speak first. But it's gotten better after a few days of spending time with Cale.

They still won’t initiate conversations but they aren’t as stiff, and will openly share their ideas on a topic even when unprompted.

Cale thinks that’s good.

He won’t say that he's proud because he is not. Definitely not. It's just good that it's easier to talk to them now.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Well, the conclusion is that Cale now has a conversation buddy and a normal one at that.

It's a nice change after only speaking to vicious people for such a long time.

“Well hypothetically if the main character is really the culprit then he would turn into everything he swore to not be. Which is not bad from a narrative standpoint but I don’t think that author in particular will write such things.”

“That is true… Based on the other books from this author that we’ve read, it’s unlikely they’ll make the main character turn back on their morals.”

‘Ah, it’s great to have normal conversations after only talking to vicious people.’

Cale could feel the tension leaving his body these days. It was all thanks to _____’s presence. For once the young master can talk to someone completely harmless, unlike the other people in their group.

On this particular day, the two are talking about a mystery novel they are currently reading. Two copies of the said novel are on the table along with their usual spread of sweets and tea. 

Beacrox and Ron must’ve decided to make liquorice the theme today. Their spread consisted of liquorice root tea[1], liquorice skyr cake[2], and some chocolate and liquorice tarts topped with raspberries. Cale doesn’t know why everything is liquorice today, but he's not going to complain because it’s better than lemon.

_____ takes a bite out of the tart, the chocolate smudging on the side of their lips in the process. 

“There’s this other novel I found that’s similar to what we read the other day. It's about some guy who's the sole reader of a book and that book came to life– oh you have some chocolate near your lips.”

Cale noticed the smudge and stopped talking to inform the healer. _____ tried to get the chocolate the young master was talking about but was unsuccessful.

After a few attempts of trying and missing Cale got tired.

“Come over here.”

If Cale’s voice was uncharacteristically soft as he called _____ over then no one commented on it.

_____ leaned over the table they were compliant albeit a little confused as they didn’t know what the redhead was thinking. 

As soon as they did Cale also leaned over and wiped the small smudge of chocolate on their face.

Afterwards, the two continued eating and talking as usual. The spread of sweets slowly dwindled and the teapot gradually dried out. All while they switch from one topic to another.

In the corner of the villa, everyone ignored Hans as he repeatedly slapped the poor wall while watching the two.

[1] liquorice root tea from the liquorice plant is a sweet tea, poor Cale has been drinking nothing but lemon tea so I gave him a break.

[2] a skyr cake is a non-bake, served cold cake that's a bit similar to a cheesecake

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 14 . Insecurity, My Old Friend (2)

a/n: the typhoon is so bad but only one of my profs switched to online class... but during online class I wrote this instead of listening so ig its understandable why they don't want to switch...

anw, after this chapter this thing officially has more words and pages than all of my lotcf oneshots combined

tags: slavery and human trafficking, mentioned wounds, tears

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

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It felt like it had been a long time since _____ and Cale saw each other. In reality, it was merely a few days. It probably just felt like an eternity because they were both busy.

Sure, let’s go with that…

The two exchanged short pleasantries before the conversation switched to how one of the Gyerre Duchy’s vassals was committing human trafficking.

At first, the healer silently listened to the assassin and the young master talked. But then a familiar name was mentioned.

The Chryshi

_____ who has naturally and unknowingly switched their positions from in front of Ron to Cale's side perked up at the mention of a merchant guild and the Chryshi household.

A puppy-like young master and a bunny-like healer young master that naturally gravitated towards each other every chance they got…

No one knew how much this fact entertained a certain benign old man. 

The so-called bunny-like healer started tugging Cale's sleeves as an indication they had something to say, too uncomfortable to speak first because there were a lot of people.

"Hmm? What is it _____, do you know something?"

Ignoring how Cale's voice softened a bit when addressing the healer, they all tuned in as to what the healer had to say.

"Back when I was with my adoptive family, I heard them bring up the Chryshi and some merchant guild in the same sentence. Whenever the conversation was about that they would also bring up about how it brings in so much income.”

_____ could see the intrigued reaction forming on Ron’s face.

“Also, there were nights when I would hear them have secret meanings with that Baron household... I wasn't allowed to take part in important conversations when I was back there so I can only tell you about things I overheard."

Cale once again feels like a headache coming.

However, it checks out if the Perduellios are part of this human trafficking scheme. How else would they get information about an ‘orphanage’ that sells blessed and gifted children?

It just makes sense.

And everyone could see that Cale hates that it makes sense.

Because if the Perduellios are part of this scheme then it would mean the orphanage _____ came from is a slave house with an orphanage front.

As if _____ hasn’t had enough in Cale’s opinion.

They already suffered from those bastards called Perduellios. If the place they came from was a slave house… how much more abuse did they experience?

“Ron, Freesia, include the Perduellios in your investigation.”

“As you wish young master-nim”

Everyone finalized the plan before moving on to another topic.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine staying alone at an inn? I can send one of them with you.”

What’s this? A certain redhead young master is acting out of character?

“I’ll be fine. I know the Gyerre territory like the back of my hand. I have done so many projects here since the Perduellios are aligned with them.”

Just as Cale mentioned, the plan is for _____ to stay in an inn. They would dye their hair and eyes as disguises too. This was because the chances of them being discovered here were higher. Not only does everyone know them, but Perduellio’s people also frequent this place.

So they had an idea to make _____ stay at an inn and pretend to be a traveller. It’s a great plan, only if Cale and Raon weren’t so hesitant.

Despite those hesitations, everything proceeded as planned.

The next day _____ went to a teahouse they used to frequent before. It was a few blocks from where Cale was drinking and should have windows so they could look at the houses from across the bridge.

Walking inside the establishment made the healer feel nostalgic. Going inside this teahouse was the only time they could semi-relax before. They were only allowed in there so rumours of the Perduellios not letting _____ have any downtime do not spread. Still, they were grateful for all those times.

_____ went to sit at an empty table with a window view. They would sit where they used to but for some reason, that table was filled with all sorts of flowers and gifts.

“Are you a traveller?”

A childish voice asked the healer. When _____ turned around to see who was talking, they saw the child of the owner of the teahouse.

“Yes I am, how did you know?”

Thankfully _____ had asked Raon to change their voice last minute.

“It’s because I saw you looking at that special table! Everyone here knows why that table is so special! You look like you don't know, so you must not be from here!”

Seems like _____ hasn’t been around here for a long time. 

“That table belongs to Roan’s Medicus! Well, not belong but when uhm, when they were still around they would go here and sit over there and admire the view so my parents decided to decicate that table to them… I’ve always wanted to play with them… they were so pretty that I felt shy… I wish I had asked though…”

Guilt stabbed _____’s heart at the child’s words. They have seen this child look at them back then. However, they just thought the child was curious.

“But I'm not sad! Mom said that they are resting peacefully now! She told me that maybe they had to go because the Sun God missed them already! I'm sad that Sun God didn't ask me first if I won't miss Medicus-nim, but I understand their feelings because I'm a big girl now!”

Despite saying she's not sad, the child's eyes look teary as she talks about the healer.

“Oh, I was talking about the table! After hearing what Mom and Dad did, everyone started bringing gifts and flowers! Everyone said that it's so that if ever Medicus-nim’s spirit visits here they'd know just how much we love them! See that flower over there? I picked it myself to give it to them!”

_____ had no idea that people admired them to the point of doing something like this. It made their heart swell. Maybe they have done more than they thought they did. 

“Really you did? I'm sure Medicus-nim will be happy when they see it…”

A woman came out from the kitchen, making the healer unable to finish their sentence. _____ knew this woman well, it's the shop's owner.

“Oh my! Mirari what did I tell you about bothering our customers!”

“Oh no, don’t worry it’s fine miss. We had a good conversation.”

The woman who seemed to be in her mid-thirties looked at _____ apologetically.

“I’m glad if that’s the case, but I’m still very sorry. She has suddenly started acting like this after hearing the news about the Medicus.”

Oh…

_____ doesn’t quite know how to feel about that.

So instead they just reassured Mirari’s mother that no harm was done. Nonetheless, the owner was insistent that they’d been disturbed and said that they could have something on the house.

“Traveller-nim choose tiramisu! It’s really good! Medicus-nim always ordered it!”

_____ doesn’t know if they can take any more of this.

They don’t know what they’ve done to make someone this fond of them.

“If Mirari-nim insists then I’ll get a tiramisu cake.”

The healer smiled as they waved goodbye to the child that’s being escorted back to the kitchen. As they did they wonder how such a small child could leave such big lingering feelings.

Nothing else happened after that encounter. _____ just sipped their tea and ate sweets as they watched the windows.

Then it finally happened.

Cale had gone outside acting all trashy.

As they did _____ couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. It’s funny to see the young master acting drunk when he's clearly not. Plus that red flush on his face looks cute.

…wait what?

Uhm anyways…

Soon _____ saw the signal for them to make a move. The signal that they talked about yesterday was Cale’s shield. As soon as the redhead summoned the famous silver shield, the healer went out to be on standby.

Everything became chaotic. _____ could see the citizens not knowing what to do as the famous young master Silver Shield caused havoc.

_____ used that chaos to their advantage and went underneath the houses Cale had been eyeing since this morning. 

Once they got to where the victims were _____ started healing all the severely injured people. As much as it pains the healer to pick and choose who to heal they still do. This was because the Gyerres had to see for themselves just how much these people had suffered.

So as much as they want to heal everyone, _____ only attended to those close to dying.

“Kind _____ the people our human is waiting for are here!”

Raon’s voice echoed in _____’s mind midway through finishing all the houses. That was their sign to get out before Antonio Gyerre or his knights saw the healer.

That night two cute kittens infiltrated _____’s room.

“Cale said you might use all the potions he gave to you on other people nya!”

“We are here to heal the healer nya!”

On and Hong greeted the injured healer on the bed as they welcomed themselves in through the window. _____ could only send a small smile in return, too hurt to form a response.

“Our youngest and Cale wanted to come here themselves but they still have something to do nya.”

Hong stated as he switched to his human form to properly use the healing potion he and On had brought. Meanwhile, his older sister is inspecting the healer’s body. She’s assessing every wound she can find, no doubt to tattle to Cale later.

With the help of the two siblings, _____ started feeling better in no time. They would try to do it midway themself but the healer has learned not to disturb the two kittens when they set their mind to do something.

After they were done they shifted back into their kitten forms to curl up and cuddle with _____.

Safe to say _____ slept soundly that night.

A few days later _____can finally regroup with Cale. They agreed to meet up outside the Gyerre territory, just before they had to meet up with Mary and Tasha.

_____ entered the carriage and greeted Billos. They were about to sit beside him when they felt Cale tug on their clothes. It confused the healer because why is Cale stopping them from sitting beside the merchant when they usually sit across the redhead? So _____ looked at the young master only to see him patting the space beside him.

“I assume you’ve been well?”

“Yes, thanks to you and the kids. I’m glad that you seem to be in good spirits too.”

Cale quickly assessed the healer's body to confirm if they were feeling better. After seeing that they were, the redhead grabbed a pillow from somewhere and placed it on the healer's lap. He then laid down on that pillow and started sleeping as if Billos wasn’t even there.

In turn, Billos just acted as if the young master wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary.

Time passed and they soon arrived at the entrance of Vegas CIty where the merchant got off. As soon as he did Cale got up from _____’s lap to talk to them.

“Ron and Freesia had investigated the Perduellio Family. It turns out that the assumptions were correct. The Perduellios have been working with the Chryshis and have been smuggling people.”

Oh…

Was it too late to put their hood back on now?

Because _____ feels like they’re about to cry…

Oh no

_____ can feel the waterworks start. They tried to suppress it, but the news was just too much to bear. Especially after the conversation they had with that child named Mirari.

Tears fell as _____ absorbed the news Cale told them. 

In the back of their mind, someone was telling them that they seemed to be crying a lot these days but they currently can't care.

"I didn't... I genuinely didn't know anything..."

The sorrow _____ felt at the involvement of their family felt foreign to them. Their heart feels as though it was being crushed by how heavy it was while their head feels light. They also started questioning their role and achievements. Although they didn't take a direct part in that terrible sin, they feel as though they still have a great responsibility as they were part of that family. 

"I know they weren't the greatest... But I never thought they would stoop so low. What they did to me was fine but this…”

They may have not taken part in the act, but they unknowingly helped fund it.

And that made _____ feel so so guilty.

“While I was healing people, feeling like I was righteous, they were doing such a sin behind my back. Using the money I have accumulated from the sick for such a task.."

Cale can't take this anymore. He can't take _____’s tears anymore. But he doesn't know how to handle a crying person.

So he did the first thing that popped into his mind.

Cale offered his shoulder.

Well, he first wiped _____’s tears before semi-hugging them to place them on his shoulder.

The point still stands, Cale is doing something unusual.

Raon, Hong, and On watched this predicament with their jaws practically on the ground. They had seen the redhead act in all kinds of ways to get what he wanted. But never like this.

Plus, he wasn't acting. That makes it more shocking to the children.

And maybe _____ would be the same if they weren’t engrossed in their feelings. 

But they are, so they just accepted the comfort the redhead silently offered and cried to their heart's content.

Later on, when Ron checked the carriage, he could see the bunny healer's head on his puppy master's lap. Both of them slept while the children were quietly chatting amongst themselves.

a/n: just a small fun fact, I wasn't gonna assign a name at first because I was too lazy but then I learned that Perduellio was the capital offense of high treason back in Ancient Rome

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 5 . As I Know It

tags: reader has never experienced the warmth of love, abuse as the norm, hints of anxiety and trauma, short chapter

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

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Weird

If _____ is asked to describe Cale’s group that’s the word they would use.

From their strength to how they act, _____ finds all of them weird.

But it’s not just the individuals in this group that the healer finds weird. It’s the group itself.

Everyone acts so weirdly.

Maybe it’s because they aren’t family but the dynamics here are so different from what _____ is used to.

However, that’s not it either.

Even without it being said, the Medicus could tell that the way the group sees one another is like family. Blood-related or not, with official adoption papers or none; with or without those things _____ can see that the way everyone cares for each other transcends any friendship or servant-master relationship.

Proof and documentation were trivial to such a group because their bond transcends it all.

Whether _____ is part of that extraordinary bond is something they choose not to ponder about.

They feel as though they don’t need to know. Do they fear that the truth might hurt? A little. But it’s mostly because they don’t want to get attached. Because their kindness is already so addicting, what more if _____ allows themself to indulge further and act as though they have a place in the group’s family-esc dynamics.

So they try to settle by acting as an outsider.

Try to be content that they can even see such amazing things.

However, sometimes greed takes over.

Moments like when the kids are playing a prank on Choi Han or everyone doting on Cale. Moments like that make _____ want to join in.

And sometimes they do.

As soon as they do they regret it. The fear of getting attached only to be thrown away eats them alive. The fear of the possibility that one day the group will wake up and realize that _____ is only a liability makes them fear the group’s kindness.

They feel as though they are a naive month trying hard to not be drawn by the flame.

Nonetheless, despite all their walls, everyone is still kind.

But that’s what makes them all the more weird.

They see one another as a family but don’t act like one.

Well in _____’s opinion at least.

From what _____ has learned in their almost 18 years of living, a family doesn’t let anyone make mistakes. Family must discipline each other.

Well, they do…

But why are they so gentle?

Why is the worst punishment being deprived of their favourite things?

Why are there no physical punishments?

Do they care less than _____ thought?

Or perhaps are they not aware that you need physical punishment to get your point across?

_____’s family has always told them that without physical punishment, they would not learn. It’s the way a family, especially parents, shows love. The moment they stop punishing you for your mistakes, you know your family doesn’t love you anymore.

_____ can’t understand the weirdness of it all.

They care for each other but show unorthodox ways of showing it.

They discipline one another but in a way _____ does not understand.

They teach the kids to be frugal by giving them an allowance but still spoil them.

They want everyone to be independent and strong, well maybe except for Cale, but they don’t leave them in a desolate place for a week to teach them how to fend for themselves.

They want to know that they care for others but won’t blatantly list all of the good things they have done for the group.

_____ can’t understand all of it.

The way this group acts is the opposite of how the healer has been taught. The way they show care is different from what _____ has experienced. This group is something the Medicus has neither seen nor experienced.

Oh wait…

_____ has seen it before.

They’ve read it in fairy tale books.

Tales of different people coming together and building a family where the foundation is love, trust, compassion, and care. Tales of where your blood relation or abilities don’t matter in creating a family.

Tales of where someone will love you unconditionally because you’re you.

And that’s so weird

Because at the end of the day, that’s all those things are, fairy tales.

They are something that is not possible in real life.

Something that is written to help broaden a curious child’s imagination and vocabulary.

Something to put children to sleep.

Something that you forget as you grow older because reality hits you that family is crueller than those flowery words written in children’s books.

But despite everything. Despite the unorthodox ways Cale’s group acts and all the norms they break.

_____ can’t deny that they enjoy this weirdness.

Maybe in the end, _____ is the weird one.

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 12 . Henituse

a/n: eating a lot of shellfish for my anemia made me feel better but everyone around me says I'm still pale asf T-T also ngl I don't the way I wrote this chapter but I'm too sick to redo it sorry huhu

tags: very vague hints of abuse near before the end

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

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Days pass and it’s now mid-November. To others, it just signifies the start of winter. Signifies the extreme cold that’s about to come. 

For Cale’s group and the Whale Tribe, it signifies the start of battle. Signifies that they must now obliterate Arm’s First Battle Brigade.

Where does _____ fit in all of this?

Besides Cale, that’s where.

After their talk, the healer became practically glued to Cale with the man saying all kinds of reasons to take them everywhere.

In this particular case, his excuse is that they need to have a healer in case of an emergency.

Hannah snorted at the blatant excuse curated by the young master.

What makes it funnier for her is how after insisting they need a healer, Cale just went ahead and gave everyone potions after the battle.

“Why are you giving me a potion? I thought that little healer of yours didn’t have purification powers, I’m sure they can heal me.”

Cale frowns as if it’s a sin to even mention _____.

“_____ is still at the ship. I can’t have them out of commission so early so make do with the potions.”

“Human you’re lying again! I definitely heard you say on the way here that kind _____ shouldn’t see such a messy sight!”

As Raon spoke in his mind Hannah also burst out laughing.

This made the redhead turn around to leave. His frown etching deeper into his face as the two unknowingly gang up on him.

Everything goes smoothly. 

Of course it does, Cale’s planning is always top-notch.

They managed to win against Arm’s First Brigade. They managed to take the remaining ships, Cale also managed to get permission from his father to let the Tiger Tribe stay in Harris Village.

But Cale is still not happy.

This is because he has to go to the empire. A place where the Sun God’s church influence is strong. The one place he can’t take _____ to.

It’s dangerous if someone, like a priest, discovers who they are. It’s still too early to let _____ back out into the world. Too early for them to fight their battles.

So when Count Deruth asked Cale if _____ could stay at the Henituse castle he allowed it. He may not be sure why his father is asking for the healer but he knows nothing bad would happen. It would also be a good opportunity for _____ to socialize more. Cale has noticed them trying to initiate conversations so meeting new people would probably be good practice.

What doesn’t know is that Hans had a hand in making this invitation come true.

Needless to say, the influence wasn’t direct. It’s just that every report the butler made included the healer which made Cale’s parent’s curious. It was also obvious that Hans thinks the two have chemistry so the Count and Countess wanted to take a look.

The whole family is aware that _____ is alive and in hiding. Aside from them a minimal amount of very trusted servants have also been informed. These servants are the most loyal to the family and in turn have been chosen to directly serve _____ during their stay.

Basen, in particular, has heard his parents talk about _____. He has heard them speculate about whether or not the healer will get together with his brother. And so when he met them he had full intentions of checking whether or not they are worthy of his brother.

Meanwhile Lily was none the wiser. All she knows is that the pretty healer must hide their face because bad people are out to get them. That and their abilities are amazing, she still remembers that refreshing feeling she felt when _____ healed her before.

With different intentions, the siblings went to greet the healer after their parents did.

Lily instantly got along with _____. Meanwhile, Basen and his parents nodded in approval..?

Approval of what? _____ doesn’t know. They’re just glad that everyone is kind.

The entire Henituse family, including Cale before he left, told _____ to just roll and play around. Treat their stay at the castle as a vacation. 

Give _____ some credit because they tried really hard to follow their words.

However, they only lasted 3 hours before they were on their way to get permission to assist the knights' training.

Good thing Cale saw this coming so he informed Count Deruth in advance how _____ has a strong sense of responsibility.

The Count approved of them healing the knights but not replenishing their energy. _____ understands as they know stamina and endurance are important virtues to being a knight.

Another thing that Count Deruth noticed is how the healer seemed interested in administrative paperwork. Coincidentally, it was also how everyone found out that they’re a fast reader and learner.

“Healer-nim[1] are you interested in administrative work?”

The Count asked the next day while they were all eating breakfast.

“A little bit, but more than that I just noticed that the documents here look different from where I came from.”

Excuse me what now? How could they immediately tell that there was a difference when they only saw the document for half a minute and they weren’t even that close to it?

“You managed to read all of it?”

“Ah, I’m sorry was I not supposed to? I only read the first page because the rest was covered…”

Basen who couldn’t help but ask reassured _____ that those are public documents so it was fine to read them.

“...That’s so weird. In my previous place, they hid things like that. The ledger here is also different…”

Now that got Deruth’s full attention.

“How so?”

“Back when living with the Perduellios, I saw their ledgers a few times. Unlike here, the ledger there seems to have lapses in entry, but they aren’t very noticeable. Then they have two sets of ledger? I’m not sure why though maybe the people there aren’t as skilled as Basen so they need a trial ledger…”

That…

That’s definitely a textbook case of either fraud, tax evasion, or embezzlement. Or possibly all three. 

Not that _____ would know because they never received proper education.

Speaking of their education…

“Healer-nim may I ask how did you learn to read and write?”

Countess Violan asked politely.

“I learned by accident. My room was where they used to put books that were for donation. They didn’t renovate it fast enough so I managed to check out those books. Then after a few days, I accidentally memorized the alphabet.”

This…

Doesn’t this mean they have a genius on their hands?

They let the topic go and switched to more lighthearted ones, like whether Cale is treating them well, as breakfast progresses. However, the Count and Countess didn’t forget about what they talked about.

That afternoon the Count sent sample administrative documents as well as beginner books to _____’s room. He also told the healer to come to him or Basen if they had questions or wanted to learn more.

Meanwhile, Countess Violan took it upon herself to teach the healer noble etiquette. With _____’s permission of course.

And that’s how _____’s stay in the Henituse Castle became an impromptu how-to noble 101 lessons.

_____ isn’t sure how this happened but they're just happy to be a part of whatever’s happening.

Aside from learning and healing _____ also plays with Lily whenever the young girl has free time. More often than not Lily would spend her downtime looking for the healer and asking them to do more light tricks. To which _____ is more than happy to do so.

So their schedule is as follows:

In the morning they would eat breakfast with the whole family.

After breakfast, they would either learn etiquette from Countess Violan or read the books Count Deruth gave them.

Then after lunch, they would either help heal the training knights or play with Lily.

It’s vastly different from how _____ spends their day with Cale but it still felt fulfilling.

However, the healer still felt more comfortable at the super rock villa.

This was because their movement was pretty restrained in the castle, unlike in the underground villa where they could wear whatever and go wherever they wanted. They can only roam around inside the castle and they can rarely let their guard down.

But it’s still fun.

_____ likes the new experience it brings. They like the new things this family is teaching them.

Plus it’s not like they were isolated because they could still talk to the servants assigned to them.

“Young master-nim, you've already perfected tea etiquette? That’s amazing!”

The healer's cheeks are dusted a soft pink hue at the maid’s compliments.

“Ah please refer to me by my name or just healer, I’m not a young master…”

“Nonsense! Young master _____ is a young master!”

_____ feels like they had the same conversation somewhere else before…

“However, was young master-nim born with the gift of learning fast?”

Lily, who was on her way to play with _____ overheard the conversation.

“Hmmm, I guess to some extent? Even before I was adopted people have told me I pick up things fast. But I’m not sure if those were empty words because my adoptive family still deemed my learning speed slow.”

The maid styling _____’s hair made a noise of protest.

“There’s no way that’s the case! I bet they were just jealous that young master-nim is a genius!”

“Huh? Me a genius? Ah no, no. There’s no way. When I was a kid I was punished because I can’t learn things in one go… I think someone like Lily-nim is a genius, not me.”

The maids and servants attending _____ began protesting about how both Lily and _____ are geniuses.

Lily then decided that she had eavesdropped enough and finally knocked on the door.

“Ah young master Lily, please wait a moment young master _____ is almost done getting ready.”

That evening, as Violan tucked Lily in, the girl spilt what she overhead to her mother.

In turn, Countess Violan told Count Deruth.

Then Count Deruth told Cale after he got back from looting- investigating the empire.

“Huuu, they just keep adding more sins to their list.”

Count Deruth did not comment as he heard the angriest sigh leave his son’s lips.

“As we talked about before I’ll let you handle the Perduellio family. Just talk to me if you need anything and I’ll make it happen.”

“Thank you.”

The two talked a bit more before they both left the Count’s office. As they turn into a corner they see _____ playing with Basen and Lily.

“Cale! You’re back! I heard what happened at the empire, did everything work out fine?”

Ho? So Hans was telling the truth when he said Cale and ____ have been on a casual first-name basis since a month ago.

Another thing that Deruth noticed was how his son’s face relaxed at the mere sight of the healer. It was as if he was never angry in the first place.

Deruth Henituse approves.

Cale and _____ hadn’t even gotten together yet, much less have asked for his approval.

Nonetheless, Deruth Henituse approves.

[1] I'm honestly not very knowledgeable about kr name honorifics, I only grew up learning the fil and jp ones so I'm unsure of this one like... I feel like Deruth's status is too high for him to address reader with nim but it also feels awkward if I don't put an honorific at the end... send help

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 11 . Nothing More, Nothing Less (4)

a/n: double update this week because i got a perfect score on my all-or-nothing oral quiz last night hehe. also, this was supposed to be 2 installments only but I keep making things longer than when I first storyboarded lol

tags: feelings in progress, trying to break out from an abusive mentality, crying, fluff, remember that healing is not instant and takes time

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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Everyone dispersed to do their own thing when they got back home. Of course, they did this after they made sure that _____ was inside their room and properly resting.

The healer complied with everyone’s wishes, how could they not when Choi Han was practically guarding the door? However, they were starting to feel restless and bored. Back at their old home, they were never told to rest for this long.

It was the opposite actually.

Everyone back there wanted them to get back in action as soon as possible. It doesn’t matter how bad they feel, _____ is expected to get back to work after 5 hours max.

Knock

Knock 

“Cale-nim asked if you feel well enough to join him for dinner.”

Good thing Choi Han gave _____ an agenda before they die of restlessness.

“Please tell the young master I’ll join him.”

The swordmaster inspected the healer first before nodding. Looks like _____ passed Choi Han’s detector and is deemed well enough to have dinner in Cale’s room.

It was an invitation for dinner but the Medicus knows that its real purpose is so that Cale can have a serious chat with them.

_____ already knows their fault.

In Cale and everyone else’s eyes, they acted recklessly. It’s _____’s mistake that they didn’t inform Cale that could handle that much. Then in turn because of that miscommunication, some things were hindered and they lost manpower for a short while.

To put it another way, _____ hindered everyone’s work.

For that, they were sorry. They didn’t mean to be deadweight that had to be carried around.

_____ told themself that they’ll tell Cale they won’t repeat the same mistake when they have dinner.

…things didn’t go as planned.

When the healer tried to explain that they certainly could handle more than what they did in the Whipper Kingdom Cale only sighed. Then when they tried to say sorry Cale frowned.

That’s never a good sign.

But _____ can’t think of what else they did wrong.

It didn’t help that the children averaging 8 years old also have the same expression.

“You know that I’m trash right?”

“Huh? Uhm yes, I do.”

_____ knew the rumours that labelled Cale as trash, but they didn’t know why it mattered right now.

“Right and as you know someone trash is selfish.”

The healer has no idea where this is going. In the first place, Cale was far from selfish. He may be opportunistic and a little manipulative but everything he did was for the betterment of others.

“Because I’m selfish I don’t care whatever happens to other people. My priority will always be me and my people first.”

_____ still has no idea where this is going.

“That means you, you rascal.”

Cale poked _____’s forehead, straightening the lines of confusion that had formed.

“You’re one of my people. You have been since that day you agreed to leave the City of Life with me.

Meaning, you are my priority. Meaning, I will not tolerate such dangerous and self-sacrificial actions from you.”

On looked at Cale as if he had no right to talk but the redhead didn’t notice it.

“And so in the future, I hope you can promise to never do anything that will harm you again. I don’t need promises of you doing better, I just want to know that you won’t get hurt this severely from healing other people...”

Plop

Plop

Cale who had more to say stopped speaking.

How could he not when he saw _____’s tears?

The same _____ who had a neutral expression after almost dying.

The same _____ who just nodded and moved on after realizing their family had abandoned them.

The same _____ who still had a poker face despite shaking from their nightmares.

That same _____ is now crying.

And it looks like they didn’t even notice they were crying.

_____ only noticed their tears when they picked up the two kittens that had been pawing their arm. After they did, the two took it upon themself to paw away the tears streaming down their face.

It seemed to have the opposite effect though.

Not only did it not stop the healer’s tears it actually made them cry more.

_____ couldn't stop the tears from flowing no matter how hard they tried. After a few seconds of trying they gave up and asked Cale a question instead.

"Cale-sunbae are you never mad at me? You never yell or punish me even though I keep messing up and is essentially useless to your group of experts..." 

Cale feels as though he is gonna have a heart attack from all the surprises because of _____. 

Are they being serious? 

How could Cale get mad at them or think of them as useless when their abilities are so useful? 

Just the amount of money they've saved from using fewer potions because they have a great healer was already amazing. Then there's the ancient power that makes them a living detector. Because of that ability, everyone found it easier to navigate the plants and monsters inside the Forest of Darkness.

How could someone amazing be deemed useless?

This was certainly because of the trash that adopted them.

Cale is going to make sure he fucks them up sooner or later.

But for now, the young master is going to make sure _____ understands their worth.

“I don’t take in useless people. I only take in people that can pay for their meals.”

The redhead used his personal handkerchief to dry the healer's tears.

As he did _____ could feel that warm and fuzzy feeling they felt back at the Whipper Kingdom come back. However, they ignored it in favour of listening to Cale’s words.

“Remember, I personally asked you to join me, to join us. Have you ever seen me make the wrong judgement?”

Cale is definitely tooting his own horn.

But hey if it makes _____ understand.

And it looks like it did because _____ shook their head no. Then they stayed silent as they stared at Cale’s handkerchief. As if they were absorbing the weight of his words.

Cale deemed it enough for now. He knows that _____ will have a hard time reversing everything they’ve learned. It won't be easy, but Cale is willing to go at _____’s pace.

Later that night Choi Han knocked on Cale’s door to report something.

When the swordmaster entered the room the first thing he noticed was how none of the children were with Cale.

“They’re in _____’s room. They said something about making sure that _____ doesn’t cry again.”

Was Cale’s short answer when asked.

“_____-nim cried?”

Choi Han couldn’t believe it. Just what did his Cale-nim say to someone as expressionless as _____ that it made them cry…

“Check on them yourself if you don’t believe me.”

That’s exactly what Choi Han did after he finished his report.

Don’t get him wrong, it wasn’t because he didn’t trust Cale’s words. It’s more because he wanted to see if the healer was doing better now.

The black-haired man knocked on the door and Raon answered by opening it using mana.

It’s dark in the room but Choi Han has no problems seeing everything. As he scans the room he sees the children averaging 8 years old lying down on _____’s bed. The two kittens are already asleep just like the healer, leaving the black dragon to be the only one awake.

Choi Han smiled at the sight. The children didn’t look any different aside from the fact they were sleeping on _____’s bed instead of Cale’s. At the same time, it looks like _____ themself is sleeping peacefully.

The swordmaster checked everything one more time to make sure he didn’t miss anything before closing the door to let the four get their well-deserved rest.

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 10 . Nothing More, Nothing Less (3)

a/n: idk which of my blood conditions is acting like a btch but my legs are weak so sitting on a chair is uncomfortable but placing my laptop on my lap is also uncomfortable...

tags: injuries, hiding said injuries, feelings in progress

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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"_____ remember that I have told you that you must work hard while you're under my care?"

"Of course Cale-sunbae, has the time come for me to earn my keep?"

"I like that attitude of yours. Yes, you must pay for your meals now. It is time to save some poor souls once again."

Cale looked uncharacteristically holy. It made the healer wonder if they were actually going to heal people or scam them.

Against _____’s worries, they were really out to heal people. The soldiers of the Whipper Kingdom specifically.

“Just do it how you used to back in our kingdom, but don’t overdo it. I know you prefer working alone as you were used to that, but remember that Rosalyn and Choi Han are at your disposal”

Was what Cale said as everyone prepared their disguises and potions. _____ didn’t need a disguise as their outside outfit already covered everything that could become an identifier. They just chose a colour that matched everyone else’s robes.

True to Cale’s words Choi Han and Rosalyn were keeping an eye out for _____. The two gave the healer space so they could work comfortably but still glanced at them from time to time despite being busy assisting Cage and Jack.

For good measure, the young master also made _____ carry many healing potions.

“Use this if the patient’s wounds are too severe, if you start to feel tired, or when you have too many wounds. Actually, just use them whenever you please. We have lots of potions at our disposal so just use them all.”

Most of the group’s worries disappeared the moment the healer started working.

None of them has seen _____ in action so this was a new sight for them. Sure there was the time during the plaza incident but their focus was on Cale at the time.

_____ looks like fish in water.

Everyone is suddenly reminded why they were dubbed Roan Kingdom’s Medicus.

They know how to approach each patient. How to console them and make them relax. Even the grouchiest of warriors relax under _____’s care. 

They know the most efficient way to heal every patient. When to use their healing powers. When to use potions and/or bandages instead. When to pass them on to the other healers. What herbs to use and what is the most efficient way of intaking them.

Aside from healing warriors and soldiers, _____ has also taken it upon themself to replenish everyone’s energies. Especially Jack and Cage who are at the vanguard of this operation. At first Rosalyn and Choi Han were against it (Cale too but he was busy playing Saint so he left it to the two). _____ assured them by explaining that their ancient power won’t make them faint nor does it take away their own energy.

Cale took personal offence to that, but anyway.

It’s obvious that they have a lot of experience healing a large number of people with varying severities of wounds.

Rosalyn finds that fact bittersweet.

She’s proud because while Jack might’ve stolen the show with his holy powers, everyone can vouch that _____ is the most efficient. Rosalyn could hear people gossiping about how _____ makes everything look smooth and easy. It didn’t even look like they were breaking a sweat.

On the other hand, Rosalyn is sad because it reminds her of _____’s upbringing. It reminds her that instead of playing outside or studying, _____ was busy healing people at such a young age. Instead of going to sleep after drinking a warm glass of milk or being told bedtime stories, _____ has to sleep while writhing in pain because of all the things their body has absorbed.

It made Rosalyn’s resolve to look after _____ stronger.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t there to just play assistant. She has another mission she must complete with Cale, Choi Han, and Raon.

So whether Rosalyn liked it or not she must leave _____’s side.

Well, the other two disguised priests are with them and know that _____ is weak so everything should be fine right?

Tough. Luck.

The two may have known about _____’s constitution but they didn’t know how the Medicus’ power works. 

“Human you told them to watch over kind _____, but did you tell them to not let them heal severe wounds?”

Shit

Cale didn’t…

An honest mistake on Cale’s end. 

Cale and others like Raon and Rosalyn already know the tell-tale signs of _____ overusing their powers. They were so used to knowing what the slightest twitch in _____’s hands meant that they forgot others didn’t.

Raon had asked when they were in the middle of riling up the empire’s troops so there was nothing Cale could do at the moment except try to move faster.

“Where’s healer-nim?[1]”

Cale’s calm demeanour and voice were betrayed by his eyes. His eyes, that's currently dyed blue, shook slightly. It may have been a small movement but it was enough to tell Cage just how worried the young master is.

“We managed to get a break this afternoon, as soon as we did healer-nim said they were going to rest for a while. We tried to get them to eat but they said they were too tired.”

Jack followed Cage’s report.

“Following what the young master-nim said about limiting information about healer-nim we have only informed Harol about them being weak so they could get a comfortable tent. We didn’t specify anything other than that. Cage-nim also made sure to inform them that they must have your permission to enter that tent.”

The man whose hair is currently dyed white nodded in approval. However, there’s a frown on his face.

"Haaa how could I forget such an important thing..."

Cale accidentally let out his real thoughts.

Ignoring the look on the two ‘priests’ faces, Cale starts walking to where _____’s tent is.

"What kind of injuries were they healing since this morning- no just give me a list of the severe wounds you saw them treating"

"The last person they treated had a big wound on their abdomen. Just before that, they had a patient who was stabbed near the lungs…”

Huuuu

Cale said nothing else but moved faster. The two confused priests silently followed the even more agitated young master.

When they got to the tent Cale and the invisible Raon were the only ones who entered. The white-haired man told the two healers to go back and rest for the meantime.

How could they when they could smell the stench of blood from outside _____’s tent?

Despite the foul stench, there are no signs of blood inside.

That made Cale’s frown deeper because it meant _____ knew this would happen and was prepared in advance.

Then he sees _____ on a chair instead of on the bed like how Cage and Jack left them.

“What is an injured person doing slumped over like that on an uncomfortable chair?”

“Ahaha Cale-sunbae, I- haaa, I heard a commotion outside so I went out for a bit. Don’t worry I went back in as soon as you finished putting out the fire.”

It was the truth. _____ couldn’t help but watch Cale’s magnificent performance that they forgot about their condition for a little bit. 

They also felt a warm and fuzzy feeling in their chest. They didn't quite understand what it was because it was the first time they felt that way. So they chalked it up as feelings of admiration.

Nothing more, nothing less.

But back to the present. 

“Stop speaking, you can barely breathe.”

The healer only laughed weakly before passing out. When they did Cale sighed heavily before poking his head out of the tent.

“Since the two of you are still here help me move healer-nim to the bed. But you really must leave afterwards. We must have healers on standby in case something happens.”

Once everyone but Raon was outside the room Cale started unbuttoning _____’s priest robes.

“Human! What are you doing!? You’re supposed to be making _____ better-”

The panicking dragon who forgot to use telepathy stopped in his tracks when he saw what was underneath those robes.

As Cale suspected there was another layer of clothes and then bandages underneath. Both were soaked in blood.

“Technically you absorb other people’s wounds, right? How come there hasn’t been an issue of you randomly bleeding?”

It was one of those days when Cale and _____ were rolling around on the villa’s marble floors. They were talking about whatever comes to mind.

“My adoptive family was kind enough to always give me a heads up before making me do large projects. It gave me time to prepare.”

“What kind of preparation do you do?”

“I usually wear bandages in advance, if I think there’s going to be a lot of people or at least a lot of heavily wounded ones I wear extra layers of clothing. Aside from that, I have also taken it upon myself to use potions when the person I’m healing has a wound on their face. It would be bad if someone saw me randomly manifesting a wound, especially children, it would scare them…”

For the nth time, Cale sighed as he pushed the memory aside. He can reminisce after treating the healer.

As Cale poured the high-grade potions on _____ Raon started asking why he didn’t just ask Cage or Jack to heal them. It would more be faster and efficient.

Cale ignored the dragon. Because honestly, he has no answer.

He just knows that he feels iffy at the idea of letting someone else heal _____ after they’ve been healing everyone else since yesterday.

He didn’t know why he felt that way so he stayed silent.

Cale only spoke up again to ask Raon to use magic to clean up the traces of blood.

That night, the man decided to stay beside the healer. Rosalyn and Choi Han can cover for him in case something happens.

He's going to stay in this tent until _____ feels better and that’s final.

Cale knows his acting irrational. He knows that _____ is going to be fine. His eyes witness how fast their wounds close. He committed it to memory.

But still.

He feels inclined to stay by their side. At least while the healer was unconscious.

Maybe it was because he personally asked them to join him. Maybe because he feels responsible for their well-being. 

Yeah, it’s just responsibility.

Nothing more, nothing less.

And so Cale dismisses his lingering thoughts. Those thoughts will only hinder him and his plans. He has better things to do than dwell on feelings his unsure of.

Fortunately, the next morning _____ was feeling better. They were back to their usual self as if the copious amount of blood the two witnessed last night was a lie.

“No, I won’t allow you to go out there. Jack and Cage can handle it. You go back and rest.”

Rosalyn is not having it.

And honestly, Cale agrees.

Despite them feeling much better this morning, it’s so obvious to Cale that _____ is still sick. Their face are pale and their hands tremble ever so slightly.

It may not be obvious to other people but it’s clear as day to Cale.

“Rosalyn is right, go back to your tent and rest.”

“I’m fine really. This is actually less than the burden I usually take.”

The three humans sighed at that.

The four argued a bit more. A 3v1 but _____ is holding their ground, and it's making all of them frustrated. Despite their efforts, the healer is insistent on going back to work.

“If I help then we’ll get things done faster. If we get things done faster then the sooner I can rest. If I don’t help then we’ll be here longer and I won’t be able to rest properly because I’ll worry too much.”

That was the argument that let _____ go back to work.

Of course not without Cale saying that his going to order Choi Han to drag them back to bed if he sees anything wrong.

In the end, the matter was dismissed, and _____ went on their merry way to heal more patients.

If Jack and Cage noticed the four, if you include Raon, watching _____’s every move like a hawk then they didn’t mention anything.

Cale still feels tense at the idea of letting the already injured healer work and absorb more wounds. Even after he made sure that _____ would only take care of minor wounds he still feels iffy. 

However, he let it go for the time being.

Because they indeed need the extra set of hands. 

It’s totally not because he thinks _____ looks good when they are happy and basking in that well-deserved praise they receive.

He just agrees that things here should wrap up quickly.

Nothing more, nothing less.

The next day they did everything they needed to do and were on their merry way back home.

When they were away from everyone else _____ couldn't help but listen to Cage's joking comment about Cale.

"Young master-nim, I think you'll make a great Pope in the future."

_____ could see Jack nodding his head as he looked towards Cale with sparkling eyes.

"She is right. Even if you do not have any divine powers, you are a warm person who has the purest of minds, Cale-nim. You definitely have what it takes to be a great Pope that looks after the believers of god. 'Not discriminating on life.' I learned something new again."

At that moment _____ couldn't hold it in and let out a hearty but soft laugh. Their soft laughter played like music in everyone's ears. The four people who have been with the healer these past months had a momentary look of shock on their faces. 

This was the first time the group had seen them smile that big, let alone laugh. Most of the time they would be lucky if they could see a small, almost non-existent smile on their lips.

After a few seconds, the shock turned into confusion as they didn't know why _____ was laughing. 

Well everyone but Cale.

Cale knew the reason for the healer's laughter. He’s pretty sure the healer is laughing at him because being a Pope would get in the way of his slacker life. 

Yes, Cale had also told them about how he is currently working towards a life of forever lounging around and doing nothing. 

Cale just ignored everyone's confused faces and ordered Raon to bring them home. 

Aside from Cale himself, no one missed the soft smile forming on his lips.

[1] reader is famous, that and Toonka don't know their real identity so they avoid saying the reader's name by referring to them as healer

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 4 . Musings

a/n: double update in celebration of something I can't say out loud <333

tags: Hidden Injuries, Observant On

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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“You look anxious what’s the matter?”

“Cale-sunbae, the two hooded people over there are elves. I fear that Raon-nim might get discovered.”

They are currently in an inn near the Ten Finger Mountains.

Cale could immediately tell that this trip was gonna be a headache. Why else would elves go down to where humans are if it doesn’t entail a headache?

“Ignore them, act as if you don’t notice them or their gaze.”

Ignoring the elves and making Raon spin in a circle seems to work somehow. Well, he got confronted by the elf but they left him alone for the most part even if they acted weird.

The Henituse’s eldest son just hoped that would be the case until he got the Fire of Destruction and got out of this place.

Safe to say that future Cale is definitely going to curse his past self for jinxing it…

Meanwhile, while Raon and Cale were busy obtaining the ancient power, _____ was left with the rest of the group in the inn.

With nothing else to do, Mary and _____ are just enjoying their time sightseeing while casually chatting.

“This is my first time seeing such scenery. I’m thankful to the young master-nim.”

Mary’s voice may sound like a GPS but _____ could tell that they were grateful to Cale Henitue. How could they not when they feel the same way?

“What about you _____-nim? Do you love nature too? Maybe you’ve been to even more places with beautiful views.”

The question made the healer look far away as if reminiscing something. For a moment Mary thought they were looking back at all the places they'd been to. However, the sadness in their eyes told her otherwise.

“Hmm, well not really Mary-nim. You and I are more similar than you think. I know it's weird considering that I’ve been living above ground compared to you. But this is also the first time I have been allowed to appreciate such sights.”

The necromancer wanted to ask questions but did not after seeing such a serene expression on the healer’s face. The previous sadness in their eyes has been replaced by something Mary can only describe as contentment.

They chatted for a few more minutes before the kittens called _____ so they could play.

While playing, Cale came back and announced the change in their plans. They are now going to help the elves because they are being attacked by Arm.

_____ never had another encounter with Arm after the plaza incident but knows the details as to what they’ve done. They understand to an extent just how horrible of an organization they are.

Everything went smoothly for the most part. Well except for the part where Cale bled and fainted but _____ could tell that the man was fine thanks to his ancient power.

They just felt sorry that they couldn't do anything about his hunger.

_____ did their best to aid the young master’s regeneration powers to speed up his healing powers. However, they could do nothing about the consequences of using such volatile power.

Nonetheless, even if _____ knew about Cale's condition, others did not. And unfortunately, the healer couldn’t say otherwise. 

It was because they figured that it would be more beneficial for Cale if the elves thought that he made a great sacrifice to help them. That was why the healer opted to keep their mouth shut.

That and the healer were low-key scared at how vicious the group looked.

_____ was aware that the group was a bit vicious, they were all experts after all. But seeing it firsthand really intimidated them.

So to not show their feelings, the healer opted to help the injured elves recover. Something they did because of their sense of responsibility as a healer, definitely not because they have people-pleasing tendencies.

Naturally, their number one patient was the young master. _____ always makes sure that Cale is fine first before leaving to aid others. 

The healer was mostly alone in this endeavor for the others opted to stay but Cale’s side. To which _____ completely understands. Still, On always check in on them. Something that _____ found cute and endearing so they made sure to always assure the silver kitten that they aren’t overdoing it.

For that reason, on the one day _____ could tell the wounds of the people they were healing were catching up to them they still made sure to assure the child. Act as if nothing was amiss. That morning they tended to Cale as usual before excusing themself to go rest, reasoning that they felt more lethargic than usual.

It wasn't just for the sake of appeasing the child. It was also because Cale was already unconscious. It'll be too much of a liability if another one becomes sick.

What _____ failed to consider is the fact that On was super observant.

The others may not have noticed it as their attention was on Cale, but On noticed how the healer’s hands seemed to be shaking a bit when they checked on Cale. Or how they had to hold on to a wall to stop themself from limping.

On noticed it all.

A few minutes after _____ excused themself, the kitten told the group she was going on a stroll. 

It’s not like On lied, she just didn’t say that the destination of her stroll would be _____’s room.

When On arrives inside the room the first they see is an unconscious _____. At a distance, it looks like they were just sleeping. However, upon closer inspection On could see how they were struggling to breathe. The poor healer was almost wheezing.

On might not admit to it later but the sight scared her.

It reminded her too much of when they were on the run from the Cat Tribe.

During one of the days they were trying to escape, her brother became sick. They had nothing on them except for the few things they managed to snag before running away and the clothes on their back.

They certainly did not have the resources to cure Hong.

Luckily the red kitten managed to get past it. But still, that experience left a scar on his older sister.

And right now On felt as though she was relieving that experience but this time with _____.

“_____? _____?”

Even after the kitten lightly shook them they still wouldn’t wake up. So she opted for the next best thing, which was lifting their sleeves.

Underneath their pristine white sleeve was a bandage tainted with blood.

The sight shocks On. The wounds didn’t look too bad as only little blood seeped through the bandage. Nonetheless, the mere fact that _____ is wounded was shocking.

Because On could tell that it was most likely a side effect of their healing abilities.

There was no way they got injured. Everyone made sure that the healer was far away from fighting and made them focus on support.

Another possibility is them being bullied by the elves.

However, why would the elves do that to one of their benefactors? It just doesn't make sense.

So the only possibility left in On’s mind was _____’s mysterious healing powers.

“I am so gonna tattle to Cale when he wakes up.”

On pawed _____’s face for a bit before helping them get more comfortable. She essentially played nurse. Cleaning their wounds, changing the bandage, and ensuring they don't develop a fever.

She did all that while trying not to cry.

Not that anyone would know as she has no plans of telling anyone until her guardian wakes up.

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 9 . Nothing More, Nothing Less (2)

a/n: ngl i really want for reader to start calling rosalyn as big sis but idk if i should use noona or unnie... why can't there just be a gender-neutral honorific for older siblings

tags: everyone is a gossip girl, hans the no 1 reader supporter, feelings in progress

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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All good things must come to an end.

That’s the truth that Cale tries to deny. However, it’s something he must face because he is set to go back to the Jungle to heal the fake holy maiden.

And that means leaving _____ behind.

Not that it matters much, in Cale’s opinion, it’s just that leaving _____ made him realise that he must work again.

Nothing more, nothing less.

"She is reaching the intermediate stages, but she is not there yet. However, it is still dangerous." 

Cale felt a momentary relief that he left _____ back at the villa, he felt like he made the right decision. He quickly shivered at his line of thought.

'Why did I think that? Am I actually concerned? No, I'm just glad there are less troublesome things to think of.'

The thought left as fast as it entered Cale's mind as he shifted his focus back to the task at hand, and that was saving the swordmaster, Hannah.

At the underground villa.

The healer that occupied Cale’s thoughts is having a friendly conversation with Hans.

Honestly, it's more like Hans keeps asking questions, and _____ just willingly answers. Like a one-sided game of 20 questions.

“Young master _____, why did you agree to heal young master Cale back at the capital?”

“Hans I told you, I’m not a noble anymore so it’s inappropriate to refer to me as young master… but regarding your question, honestly aside from me never refusing to heal someone, it was also because Tasha-nim was the one who asked me to heal Cale-nim.”

Maes, who’s taking a short break from training with Lock, glanced at the two people talking and shook his head. Hans has been talking nonstop ever since Cale left the villa.

“Young master _____ is a young master so as a butler I must refer to you as young master.”

The young wolf could see _____ dazedly nod at the deputy butler’s confusing but logical (? Even Maes isn’t sure) argument.

“However young master, when you and young master Cale met again did you immediately know that you were going to be together?”

The wording used was… weird, but it’s not like Maes has a say since his only eavesdropping.

“You mean teaming up together? Honestly no, there are already so many capable people around him.”

“But young master _____ is special!”

Maes could see _____ stop eating the caramel bar Beacrox served to give Hans a confused stare. The deputy butler ignored the look and continued on his agenda.

“Anyways! The young master and you are quite close nowadays, right? Do you enjoy spending time with him?”

Ah, there it is— the million gallons question.

From the start of the conversation, the young boy knew what Hans’ goal was. Not only he, but everyone in the villa knew the deputy butler was trying to gauge the relationship between the two.

The wolf could only smile as he silently wished the healer to survive Hans’ interrogation.

“Really? I didn’t really notice. However, now that you mention I’ve been spending almost every day with the young master.”

_____ laughed awkwardly.

“I enjoy his company. Back when I was working for the public as a healer I never really had the chance to talk to someone as leisurely as I do with him. Uhm don’t get me wrong, that was also very rewarding. Nonetheless, the tranquil moments I spent with the young master are very special.”

After hearing the healer’s answer Maes went back to training. In the corner of his eyes, the other people that sneakily gathered within hearing range also dispersed. 

In one corner he could see the two kittens ‘napping’ (Maes saw their ears twitch the moment Hans asked the golden question). Rosalyn is ‘talking’ to Choi Han about some sort of energising potion (they haven’t said anything for the past 5 minutes). Beacrox is ‘fixing’ a wheel on the food cart (Maes was most definitely sure that cart was brand new, he heard it was ordered by the countess herself so there’s no way it’s broken already). 

Safe to say that everyone in the villa is curious about the young master’s love life.

The deputy butler and the healer continued talking. Their topics vary but somehow Hans always managed to circle it back to Cale.

Maes isn’t sure if his amazed or scared at the deputy butler’s abilities.

Contrary to what everyone else thinks, Hans isn’t asking simply because his curious.

Sure he is, but there’s another reason he is inquiring this much.

He has a duty to report to the count about the young master. If it looks like the young master is on the path of romance then surely it’s his job to update the parents on the matter.

That and he must vouch for _____.

Not that he thinks the healer will have a hard time getting the Henituse’s approval.

The count already knows of their circumstance (Cale had informed him when they went back to the castle a while ago), they are technically still noble, and their reputation back then was far from bad.

But on the off chance they didn’t approve of _____…

Hans vows to do his best to make them give their approval.

Is the deputy butler getting ahead of himself? Oh definitely.

Does he know he is? Oh definitely.

Will he stop? Oh, definitely not.

It certainly did not help Hans’ delusions when Cale immediately looked for _____ as soon as he arrived even when the healer was at the very back.

When Cale got home he came back with new additions to their group. _____ didn’t know who these twins were, but the power of the Sun God could be felt from them.

The Medicus was both astonished and confused. Astonished because of the holy powers the man is emitting. Confused because the woman has both light and dark attributes.

_____ decides to not question it.

Nevertheless, that night Cale found himself explaining everything to the healer. He explained everything from their encounter at Hais to what happened in the Jungle. He really has no reason to do so. He barely explains unnecessary things to his people, so he can't understand why he's doing the opposite for _____. 

But he can't deny the relief he feels when he sees the healer nod in understanding.

Maybe it was because he felt responsible. After all, all three of them have abilities related to the Sun God.

Nothing more, nothing less.

The weeks after that were lenient on the redhead’s schedule. He spends his days watching everyone train with _____ by his side. Sometimes he lazes around the marble floors with _____. Every so often he has tea with _____.

At this point, the only time the two are separated is when they have to go to their respective rooms to sleep.

That and when Cale had to attend the alliance meeting. However, immediately after he went to seek out the healer. Complaining about how he had to be surrounded by so many vicious people for hours on end, and how fresh air is always the best.

_____’s confused look tells everyone that they didn’t know they were the ‘fresh air’ Cale was talking about.

Not that they need to know for now. They have a lot of time. Even if they don't, everyone in that villa will make sure they do.

The two spent the rest of the summer and the start of fall spending more time with each other. 

Some days they would chat, on others they would simply lounge around and bask in each other's presence. This does not go past the observant eyes of everyone else in the underground villa, and all of them are happy to see Cale finally being close to someone his age.

But of course, every peaceful moment must reach an end. 

This time that ends manifested itself when Toonka updated Cale about the war going on between the empire and the Whipper kingdom.

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 3 . Abandoned, Adopted (2) - Cale/Reader

tags: abuse as the norm, reader sees nothing wrong with what they've experienced

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

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Sigh

“I was gonna reveal him later while we’re talking but might as well.”

Cale casually stated as he handed _____ a towel. It sounded as if he was describing the menu for lunch. As if he didn't let out an exasperated sigh before speaking. Contrary to his nonchalant voice and demeanour, Cale is actually a bit worried. He is worried at the high possibility of the healer not being able to compose themself at the sight of a dragon.

“I am the great Raon Miru and my great self is now 4 years old!”

“Hello Raon Miru-nim, it’s nice to meet such a great and mighty existence.”

_____ bowed respectfully at the cute dragon that Cale is currently drying with a towel. The bow only lasted two seconds before the healer grabbed a new and unused towel.

“You dried Hong but didn’t dry yourself On.”

Their gaze asked On if it was okay to dry them to which the silver kitten nodded before moving closer to _____.

Cale finds this development unexpected, but good unexpected. In fact, he likes it so much. He likes _____’s calmness despite the visible surprise in their eyes.

Some minutes and towels later the two can finally get to the main topic of today’s conversation.

“Your adoptive family has proclaimed you dead, what is your plan now?”

“Uhm, honestly young master Cale-nim-”

“Just Cale is fine, even if that shitty family of yours proclaimed you dead you are still a noble. We are still equal in status.”

“Huh? Uh uhm, okay…”

_____ was flabbergasted as this was the first time someone said they were a noble. Well, not that they have much reference as most of their conversations are with their adoptive family, but it was still shocking to the healer.

“Then Cale-ssi..? No? Uhm, Cale-sunbae[1]..? I have no concrete plan. I knew that someday I was gonna be thrown away when I was deemed useless. I just didn’t expect my usefulness to end this early.”

The healer was hesitant in their new way to address the young master. However, Cale looked more relaxed being called sunbae so _____ deemed it okay to call him as such.

“Then you just have to find a new place that will see you as useful right? I think this is the perfect place for that.”

_____ looked at Cale in disbelief. They may not know much information about… well almost everything, but they have also heard about the rumours of Cale being trash.

Whether that was real or Cale was faking it didn’t matter. 

The point still stands that someone who made a name for themself as trash would not need someone like _____. Not with all the burdens and hard work that comes with them as a package. Not only that but the young master seems to have some sort of power that lets him have full vitality at all times.

So why would such a person take in _____ who is only good at healing others?

“Cale-sunbae taking someone in like me is bound to cause trouble. I am aware that taking me in means hiding me as I cannot reveal myself right now. I am also aware that requires a lot of effort to do.”

“Don’t worry about that, I’m not the son of a rich noble for nothing. All you have to think of is whether you’ll accept my offer and what you want to do. Do you want to take revenge?”

The black dragon that’s lying down on Cale’s bed with the kittens perked its head up at the mention of revenge. He may not know what _____’s story is but he feels a kinship with them at the known fact that the human his human is talking to also had a hard life before meeting Cale.

“Revenge? Oh no that has never crossed my mind. Why would I when they provided for me? It’s not like they did anything wrong?”

“THAT’S NOT TRUE LITTLE _____!!! This great and mighty being that has lived for 4 years could tell what they did was not right!!”

Everyone else in the room got a whiplash while the black dragon was enraged. Cale was confused at how such a thing could be considered normal.

“In any case, if you don’t want to make them pay it’s fine. If you ever change your mind just tell me.”

Cale Henituse is now responsible for this person, and that responsibility includes supporting them in their endeavours. 

So Cale lets it be… at least for now.

Tap

A silver kitten taps Cale’s arm using her paw. It was nighttime, and the children averaging seven years old were already lying in bed with Cale. The other two children are already asleep, leaving only the redhead and the silver kitten awake.

“What is it? Can’t sleep?”

“No that’s not it. About _____…”

The half-asleep Cale woke up at the mention of the newest addition to their group. Cale is pretty sure the healer is harmless but if the children say otherwise then further evaluation is due.

“Well, they’ve been adjusting well here in Harris Village and get along with everyone.”

Cale agrees with On’s evaluation. It has been a few days since came back to Harris Village and _____ has been doing well so far. Actually, they’ve been thriving as everyone seems to like them. 

They’re shy and don't speak unless someone else initiates the conversation. However, they are respectful and helpful to everyone. Because of that, they get along well with Cale’s people.

If that’s the case then why does On’s face say that there seems to be a problem?

“There’s something weird about their body- no I think it’s their ability. We don’t know how it exactly works right?”

On had been the closest to _____ during these past few days along with the other two children. Partly because the three have taken it upon themselves to observe the healer more, and partly because their mere presence comforts the children.

The healer doesn’t smile or laugh but everyone can tell that they truly enjoy themselves whenever they are out playing or exploring with the kids and Mary.

Even though they can’t see a physical smile on the healer’s face, them being happy still lifts everyone’s moods. 

Even Cale’s

He may try to deny it, but On has caught him a couple of times already.

Speaking of the man, he is just currently petting On’s fur while waiting for her to tell him more.

“At first I thought it was just their old wounds. They were hurt pretty badly so it wouldn’t be surprising if it takes a long time to heal since they can’t heal themself. But the wounds seem to be changing places.

I’m not so sure about that one because they wear long sleeves so it's hard to see, but I also noticed that their mood seems to drastically falter when they heal someone. More than any healer I’ve seen during our travels. It’s almost as if they seem to be in pain.”

It was true, it’s hard to see any part of _____’s body because they wear a hooded robe like Mary. The healer even went as far as covering everything but their eyes with cloth[2]. This was because they didn’t want to bother Raon with a disguise.

“We can’t be sure yet about the wounds but the other things might just be because they aren’t in optimal condition yet. They have always had a weak body. For now, I’ll them to lessen their use of their healing powers.”

With that On’s mind was put to ease and she finally fell asleep.

However, another person’s mind is not at ease.

Cale who was supposed to be slacking off felt a sense of worry. Experience from reading so many fantasy novels gave him an inkling as to how _____’s ability might work.

But nothing is confirmed yet so he set his worries aside for now and resorted to observing.

While they were in Harris Village nothing seemed out of place. Well, honestly how could there be when everything is so peaceful? The only things they were healing were minor scratches and wounds that mostly stemmed from accidents or training.

When they got to the main territory though…

To be precise it was during the festival when they were looking for hidden experts in the territory. _____ noticed the scratches and wounds on Lily’s body from training and wanted to heal them.

Of course, they didn’t say anything but at this point, Cale knows them well enough to see what they want.

So Cale told the healer to go ahead and heal Lily, and replenish her energy while they were at it too.

They did and Cale didn’t see anything unusual. But then again it’s not like Lily was badly injured. The worst thing she got was this long scratch-like wound from her forearm to below her elbow. Therefore Cale that would be the end of it and he’d have to find another chance to see if his suspicions were correct.

“Healer-nim are you okay? That scratch looks pretty fresh.”

Hans’ voice made Cale turn around to see what he was talking about.

All of them are currently roaming around the night market. _____ in particular was looking at a stall that sells hand-made stuffed toys. It ranges from fluffy teddy bears to cute crocheted dolls. 

When Cale turned to see what was going on, he did so in a way that looked as if he was just looking around the market and not listening to their conversation. He could see the healer midway to reaching a red teddy bear that was holding some kind of silver shield. 

Is it just him or does that toy oddly look like him?

Anyways ignoring the cute but oddly designed teddy bear, Cale could see that the healer’s sleeves rolled down because the placement of the teddy bear was pretty high. Because of that, their arm could be seen, and that arm was full of scars.

“Ah yes, Hans-ssi- I mean Hans. I got this earlier but it doesn’t hurt.”

“I see, but it would still be better to put some bandages over it.”

“Yes, I’ll make sure to do that when we get home.”

The scars kind of look like Lily’s scratches but one could argue that it was from _____’s wounds a few weeks ago.

However, there was no denying that a big scratch looked just like Lily’s wound from earlier.

Sure it looks better than what Lily had but Cale knows it’s the same thing.

But accusations are just accusations, Cale still doesn’t have solid proof. It could be that it wasn’t actually Lily’s wound and they just got injured earlier as there were a lot of people.

Cale also doesn’t think he should suddenly just bring it up. He doesn’t want to cause unwarranted worry and panic when he and On are still speculating things.

So he lets it go for now.

He continued strolling at the night market to look for hidden experts and buy whatever the kids wanted.

And if that shopping haul included that one red teddy bear with a shield that’s current in Raon’s spacial dimension so they could give it later to _____ even though they didn’t ask for it?

Let’s just go with Cale’s reasoning that the kids persuaded him to buy it.

[1] was gonna use -ssi at first but the rules for using ssi confuse the more I read about it. I didn't want to use Cale-nim because it's Choi Han's signature. Anyways just think of their relationship as like a sunbae and hoobae at work since reader is working for Cale now.

[2] kinda like alberu's appearance when he went to the jungle as a dark elf.

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 2 . Abandoned, Adopted - Cale/Reader

tags: Abuse/Torture, Near Death Experience, Nothing too graphic, Self-deprecation

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

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_____ was already in trouble. For what? They didn’t know, but they knew their family would only send them to the Dubori territory if they were in trouble.

After all, the house there was built solely to punish them away from prying eyes. They said that it’s because it’ll be disgraceful to see a noble’s child, even if adopted, being a brat. 

It had always been like this for as long as _____ could remember so they did not mind. In fact, growing up like that made them think that it was normal as they had been isolated and could not compare how others raised their children.

Despite that, it still hurts. Each time the candle wax drips down their body they feel an unbearable burning. When the whip hits their skin they feel as though heaven and earth have joined forces in making them bleed. 

In short, it hurts. Everything hurts.

It hurts _____ not being allowed to cry because if they do then the punishment would only intensify. It hurts that no matter what they do they still don’t fit their family’s standards. Most of all it hurts them to hear their older sister, the one in charge of punishing them, say hurtful things like how they didn’t deserve their power and that without it, no one would love them.

It hurts because they know it’s true.

No one would like an orphan without value. That’s why every day _____ is reminded by their family just how lucky they are to be picked up and clothed by such kind nobles like them.

“You knew that you were in trouble already but you continue to misbehave?! How many times do I have to tell you to not embarrass my family, you worthless child?!”

Crack! 

Crack!

Each word the biological daughter of the Perduellios says is accompanied by the whip harshly hitting _____’s skin. The woman’s voice was laced with venom and their ears were tinted red with anger.

It’s a bit comedic when matched with the fact that there’s no way for _____ to respond. They were always made to wear a magic choker that inhibited speaking during these punishments.

On the bright side, at least this time the healer has an idea of some of their sins.

The new sin added to their list was probably because they talked with the eldest son of Henituse County. They did notice that the family considered it humiliating whenever _____ spoke to a noble they weren't healing. Most probably because nothing will change the fact that they’re a commoner.

_____ just wanted to warn the young master of the danger of their journey. However, that seemed futile as they already had Tasha, a Dark Elf, with them. _____ was sure that she could take care of everything, including the possible dead mana rising.

Nevertheless if given the chance to go back to the time they spoke with Cale, _____ wouldn’t change their decision.

It’s not only because of the need to warn the young master… some personal greed is also included in it. Greed that _____ felt for the first time in their almost 18 years of living.

Well if asked by other people, they probably don’t think wanting to talk to another person is considered greedy. However, this is the first time _____ has wanted something, and they grew up learning that if they want something for themself then it’s considered greed.

But who could blame this poor person when it was the first time they felt comfortable speaking to someone? They didn’t even know that what they felt was a comfort as their almost 18 years of life were filled with only hardships and no resting time.

That was why _____ was willing to take the punishment for it.

“You know what, I’ve had enough of you! I’m going to throw you in that desert tonight! Guards!!”

“My lady, how would the count and countess react?”

The guards were asking the noblelady but still moved to execute her order even before she could answer.

“Don’t worry I have my parents' permission. We can just make up some noble story about how that trash over there was so kindhearted they followed an injured peasant in the desert and died!

Now throw them out and make sure you throw that thing far!”

_____ couldn’t even protest due to the magic device on their neck. They could only internally panic as the guards literally threw them out in the desert.

The whole thing looked as though it was planned. How else would everything go so smoothly with no hurdles? Not even the guards of the Dubori wall were on duty when their shabby carriage passed by.

But _____ has no time to think about such things. They can think about it once they survive the Dessert of Death.

If they can survive one of the five forbidden regions while tied up and beaten. 

‘Is this really how I’ll die? Can I not do anything to survive?’

The weak and battered healer looked around and that’s when they felt it. Something weird was happening in the sand.

‘It must be the dead mana… I’ll really die if I touch that!’

But it's not like there’s anyone they can ask for help as they are pretty far away from the walls. Also, not only are the guards currently eating dinner, but they are also too selfish to help _____ even if they could ask for help.

Seeing no hope left, _____ who has been fighting to stay awake this entire time finally gave in to the increasing dark spots dancing in their vision.

Just before their eyes closed, they thought they could see a blurry silhouette of an elf. But they aren’t sure if they are hallucinating from their wounds and desperation.

With that _____ gave in and lost consciousness.

The next time _____ woke up the first thing they saw was a familiar red hair that resembled blood. Beside him was Tasha in her Dark Elf form.

“H-huh..?”

The confused and flustered _____ became even more confused when they heard their voice. Upon touching their neck the healer realized that the magic device was gone.

“Looks like the patient is awake now. Good, I’m just here to update you on your recovery.”

The human healer explained to everyone in the room how _____ has clear signs of abuse or torture. Despite that, they should be fine after a few days of rest. Then it was added at the end that _____ was lucky the Dark Elves found them first before the dead mana could do any damage.

“Abuse or torture… Did you get into a fight?”

“No, I just lost my home.”

The short answer made Cale feel relieved that _____ was not someone who would suddenly start talking about their backstory. A thought that _____ would have no way of knowing.

“It looks like you aren’t shocked to see me like this young master _____?”

“Ah please don’t call me young master anymore as I’ve been practically disowned last night. And yes, I knew about Miss Tasha being a Dark Elf since we first met. I also know that Crown Prince Alberu has some Dark Elf blood.”

Tasha was surprised by this as the healer showed no signs of knowing.

“Please don’t worry as I didn’t get the information from anyone. I have a water-type ancient power that allows me to see what someone is as long as they have water or blood running through their body. I can also assess their medical condition to an extent. This power is what allows me to replenish someone’s energy but I have deceived everyone into thinking it was part of my blessing. For that, I apologize.”

_____ bowed and could not see the intrigued face that Cale made. Cale is currently thinking just how useful of a power it was for avoiding unnecessary people. While the black dragon can roughly tell another being’s species by their powers, it’s a whole different thing to have a walking-talking species detector.

“That’s why they smell like you weak human. They also smell like nature!”

It was like the norm now to ignore the black dragon’s useless chatter.

“So, you say that you’ve been abandoned by your adoptive family right?”

_____ didn’t know how or why, but that simple question from Cale turned to them joining his group. In fact, they are now on their way to the Henituse territory. But before they can go there, they are first staying at an inn just outside the capital.

Cale did not say why they were there and _____ did not ask as they are used to not knowing anything. However, Cale did state they have to talk about the healer’s existence as it will be hard to hide them from everyone forever.

That’s why _____ is currently knocking on the door of Cale’s room. 

As the door opens they can see Hong trying to drink water out of a wooden cup that’s as big as their kitten form. The sight was comedic, a small red kitten trying to grip a big cup using his tiny front paws in able to drink as if he were using his human form. _____ looked amused at the absolute concentration on Hong’s face.

However…

Hong should’ve used a smaller cup.

If he did then maybe the water couldn’t have flung out as he lost his grip on the cup.

Then the children and _____ wouldn’t have been splashed by the same water.

Most importantly, _____ wouldn’t have noticed the invisible black dragon. 

Well, they didn't necessarily know that it was a dragon yet. They just felt a lifeform hiding its existence. 

“That’s weird… I’m sensing that 4 people have been splashed but I can only see 3. Oh, and this 4th person seems very strong yet very young…”

On queue, Cale sighs and reveals the black dragon to _____. Well, the redhead was already planning on showing the dragon since the crown prince’s intel told him that the healer was safe. 

By safe Alberu means that _____ has nowhere to run to because they have no affiliation other than their family and that said the family has officially proclaimed to everyone that they have died. 

Knowing that the Perduellios had a hand in almost killing _____ disgusted Cale, but he decided not to mind too much as he now has a detector and a healer thanks to them.

So after deeming _____ trustworthy, Cale decided that he would reveal the black dragon during their talk. He just didn’t expect the revelation to be this… 

Chaotic.

But hey, it saves him some effort when introducing the black dragon.

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 7 . Truth (2)

a/n: double update this week (I'll upload another chapter tom) to lament over my fever getting higher lol (I'm actually procrastinating my school works)

tags: frustrated rosalyn, again abuse as the norm, cursing, detrimental thoughts and ways of living, unhealthy coping mechanisms and trauma responses

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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Rosalyn is someone who threw away her royal position to pursue her dreams of being a mage.

A decision that removed her from her family.

The mage thinks that she would be sad by this if it wasn’t for the fact that she immediately found a new family to be with.

It's amazing if you ask her. It was as if the gods saw that she needed someone to trust after almost being killed and gave it to her in the form of a socially awkward swordsman.

And then almost right after she put her trust in Choi Han, she gained a little brother named Lock.

From there it spiralled. She met Cale and all the other people under him. She got the support she needed to make her dreams come true. On top of that, her relationship with her blood relatives is still good.

Overall it was nice. Especially when Cale seems to keep making friends everywhere and expanding this family-esc circle they have.

That was why when Cale brought another person home Rosalyn thought it would be the same thing. Thought that in a few days' time, that person would be part of their group, their family.

Well in a way they were.

Rosalyn has come to see _____ as her younger sibling, the same way she views Lock. She has taken it upon herself to help the healer acclimatize to their new group and environment in general.

However, every time Rosalyn thinks she’s making progress, _____ seems to go back into their shell.

At first, the woman thought they were just socially awkward. Perhaps shaken because their family literally just threw them to their death.

Her first mistake was assuming it was as trivial as that.

Her second mistake was not getting the full story.

If she had done that then maybe she wouldn’t be this shocked so early in the morning.

Well in her defence she was expecting Cale to talk about some sort of plan for when they meet the dragon. Why else would he gather the group this early right before they are set to travel to the dragon’s lair?

Apparently not.

As soon as everyone has settled Cale brought to everyone’s attention that they didn’t know how _____’s powers work.

This made Rosalyn confused. Because quite frankly what does this have to do with… well anything?

But oh god, the more _____ explains their abilities the more she understood why this has to be said now.

This should have been explained way earlier. Because what do they mean that _____ essentially absorbs their patients' wounds?

It made the mage look back at all the people the Medicus had healed. All the sickness and wounds they had to absorb.

And shit.

She remembered that _____ has been doing this since they were 9 years old. Maybe even earlier as she discovered that the famous story of their adoption is fabricated.

Rosalyn may have only known _____ for a short while, but that’s her little sibling goddammit.

A sibling she admires because of how helpful and selfless they are. Traits they possess that Rosalyn is now starting to resent.

The redhead shot a pointed look at the other redhead in the room. A look that says Rosalyn wants her questions answered. Cale responded with another eye contact that seemed to say “Later”.

“Just what-”

Cale put his hand up to stop Rosalyn from speaking. Everyone was still in the room minus _____. The redhead had sent them out as they hadn’t finished packing their things yet.

“To put it shortly, I need you all to keep an eye on _____.”

The man goes on to explain how the healer kind of lacks… common sense, for lack of a better term. It has something to do with how they were brought up. 

“We don’t need to look after them like a child. Just make sure they won’t go overboard using their abilities. No guarding them like a hound either.”

It's a no-brainer that the last part was for the visibly enraged Choi Han. He was still visibly enraged but nodded as he understood why Cale didn't want the healer to have guards as of now.

Rosalyn is sure that Choi Han is going to be overprotective of _____ in some way. Not that she blames him.

Cale went to stand up, signifying that the meeting was over. The rest followed and started filing out of the room. 

Everyone except Rosalyn.

She has questions and she’s going to get answers.

“Young master, how long have you known?”

“Since last night.”

“Were they deliberately hiding it?”

“No, they just didn’t think they could bring it up when no one was asking.”

“How are we supposed to- haaa”

“Blame their shitty family.”

On their way to the dragon’s lair, Rosalyn had a lot on her mind. Lots of puzzle pieces to put together.

Now that Rosalyn knows the full story everything started to make sense.

Made her realize just how hurt her sibling had been.

Just how much they suffered before Cale met them.

It made Rosalyn look back to some of the habits she noticed _____ has. Like how they almost seem apprehensive to talk to people in authority. How their hands and voice tremble when they thought they made a mistake. How they are so intent on healing everyone and low-key seem scared if a person’s condition is out of their jurisdiction.

How they take everything with apprehension. Like they can’t believe that they are being given things. Even when those things are basic necessities like a good plate of food. How they teared up when Raon gave them that red teddy bear from the night market. How apparently that was the first toy– no, the first thing, that they have ever received in their entire life for free. The first gift they get to indulge in.

How they are too independent for Rosalyn’s liking. How they always insist that the servants have better things to do than assist them. How they refuse to get treated when sick or injured despite them treating everyone else.

How they never speak unless spoken to first. How they will literally just stand there, bleeding and not saying a word unless they are given some sort of permission. This one frustrates Rosalyn so much. Not only does she want to hear more from the healer, but she also thinks they have so many good ideas. Before she let it go she thought they were shy, but that’s slowly going to change from now on.

How even when they were suffering from nightmares they were silent. How on one of those nights they looked more scared that Rosalyn saw them being vulnerable, as if it's a sin to have nightmares. To be vulnerable and lean on others. How on that night Rosalyn had to explain that there’s nothing wrong with asking for help after such things. How _____ nodded but seemed apprehensive. How Rosalyn knew that after that night they still suffered silently. Merely holding the mage’s hand as solace and comfort on the rare nights the healer allows themself to embrace the help presented to them.

How Rosalyn found out now that it was because _____ have been taught that since they don’t scar then they must not have pain. Since they only get a percentage of their patient’s pain then it would be arrogant and privileged of them to complain.

How they–

How–

Fuck.

Rosalyn is going to get revenge for _____. 

She’s going to make sure she gets it done one way or another.

a/n at the end: i wasn't quite sure how to get the point across that rosalyn was angry and frustrated beyond belief so I made her curse as she isn't really someone who's portrayed to curse a lot

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 15 . Limelight

a/n: ngl I'm starting to hate this, it's just that my writing style doesn't seem fitting for a series. maybe next time I'll stick to one-shots lol

also I'm so so sorry for the late update. I'm so busy I haven't slept for like a week now. However, I found some free time to write huhu.

tags: injuries, blood (it's cale what did you expect), self-doubt, war

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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_____’s time in Vegas City had been relaxing. There’s no way it wouldn’t be when everyone, mainly Cale, made sure it was. And the healer is grateful to all of them. It gave them time to think and lament over the devastating news they had received.

In turn of that kindness and space, _____ made sure to recover after they left the Caro Kingdom. It wasn’t easy, all they wanted to do was lay on the bed all day and cry. Getting energy for the slightest task, even eating, was so hard. But they still pushed themself, because war was approaching.

The battlefield is calling and its first target is their new home.

So the healer pulled themselves by their bootstraps. Even as everyone tried to assure them that it was fine to not be okay they still spared no effort to recover from their depression and be back to normal.

“Basen-nim will handle communications. The Count and Countess will be on the battlefield. Lily-nim is too young.”

Currently, Cale and _____ are having a disagreement.

“That doesn’t mean you’re the only option left. The Henituse have a lot of retainers and people we can use.”

“But can you really go all out if it isn’t one of your direct people guiding the citizens?”

Cale could only furrow his eyebrows at that retaliation. The two are currently disagreeing whether or not _____ should be in charge of leading and guiding the citizens once the Paerun Kingdom attacks. 

Silence lingered for a few seconds. Cale knows that _____ is right. Especially after that northeastern nobles meeting… Cale can only have peace of mind if the one in charge of the citizens is someone he knows. Someone he trusts

_____ reached out towards the redhead, holding his hand to show their resolve.

“Cale, I’ll be fine.”

The healer can feel Cale squeeze their hand back.

“Fine…”

Cale pauses for a moment and _____ thinks they are nearing the end of the discussion.

“But let Raon cast magic on you for disguise.”

Apparently _____ thought wrong.

No way are they allowing the young dragon to cast and maintain magic on them when they need his mana to maintain the barrier. It would also be dangerous to ask another mage for a disguise when there’s always the possibility of their enemies bringing mana disturbance tools.

“Cale you know we can’t do that.”

“Yes, that’s why you better just stay inside the castle walls or beside me and Raon.”

“I can’t do that either. I promise I’ll be safe, plus I’ll be wearing my hood and mask. There’s no way anyone would recognise me.”

Cale sighed as he used his free hand to push his hair back. 

Honestly, everyone listening in (the kids averaging 8 years old) doesn’t know why the young master is fighting this losing battle. If it had been anyone else Cale would’ve agreed in a heartbeat. 

Plus sooner or later they know he’ll give in to the healer’s wishes.

He always does.

True enough, Cale’s resolve did not even last 5 minutes before he agreed to _____’s request. It’s now official that they will be leading the citizens towards safe zones. They would also be the first line of defence in case enemies get past the barrier and start attacking the city. 

Of course, if Cale or someone else from their side gets injured then _____ will run immediately to aid them.

The other people who didn’t listen in on the conversation didn’t even have to ask how it went. Results were obvious from the way _____ was humming on their way out with Cale sighing and petting On and Hong.

“Knight-nim please check if there’s any people left on area d. If you need me I’ll be double-checking our inventory and supplies.”

It’s been a few hours after Cale and _____’s talk. Right now the healer is making sure that everything is in order while their friends are fighting the Indomitable Alliance.

As the Medicus sees Choi Han and the others attack they remember a conversation they had with Cale last night.

The two are the only ones in the room. Well, the only ones awake. The children are with them but Cale has forced them to sleep because they need the energy for tomorrow. A serving of blueberry crumble paired with jasmine tea is being enjoyed as they talk.

“I plan to create a new history. To bring new heroes forward.”

“And I assume you won’t be part of those heroes?”

_____ asked in a joking manner as they refilled both of their teacups.

“Of course not. I only want to win this war and then go rest at the underground villa peacefully.”

Cale stopped speaking to take a bite out of the dessert.

“I’m telling you this because I want to ask you if you’d like to be part of that history. This battle would be a good opportunity to show everyone that you are alive.”

“I… thank you but it would be unneeded.”

The healer’s immediate answer made Cale look at them in confusion.

“Hmm well, that’s a shame the crown prince was also thinking of giving you the Perduellio’s assets as all of them have been found guilty.”

“Is he? I didn’t know such a thing.”

Of course _____ didn’t. Only Cale and Alberu know of such a thing. They're also the only ones who know the sorry state that family is currently in.

“But still… While I do agree with you that this is a good time to do that I still don’t want to do it. My time in the spotlight was not a good experience for me. It would be enough for me to see our friends be known and bask in that light.”

_____ sipped their tea before continuing.

“There’s also the fact that my adoptive family had committed a grave sin. I don’t think it’s right for me to strive for fame when I am still legally part of that family. I will reveal myself, but it won’t be now. I hope Cale and the crown prince can understand…”

Cale nodded in understanding. He's not cruel enough to force someone to do what he wants just because he wants to hide in the shadows. There are already more than enough heroes that he can push into the spotlight.

“I understand, I’ll inform the crown prince don’t worry about it.”

_____ snapped out of their daydream to focus back on their task. 

At least tried to.

Right about when _____ is about to talk to another knight they saw Cale bleed. The healer would have left it to the priests and healers near the field if it was just Cale’s normal bleeding. But it wasn’t.

Cale is bleeding from basically every orifice of his body.

And his too far away for _____ to accurately see if he's okay.

“I’ll leave the rest to you knight-nim, I must assist our Commander.”

So the healer runs. 

They run the fastest they’ve ever had in their entire left. _____ ran so fast they got there before the healers could.

“__– healer-nim you shouldn’t be here.” 

Countess Violan made sure that the healer’s hood and mask were still intact. The fabric on their face had been removed to aid catch their breath from running. Good thing the hood was still intact so it’s unlikely that anyone has seen their face.

“Countess Violan It’ll be fine. Our priority should be the Commander right now.”

_____ has no way of knowing how at that moment, the Henituse’s respect for them grew even more.

The healer turned to Cale to see him talking to what seemed like the air. That must be why his parents are even more worried right now. It looks like the redhead is hallucinating.

Good thing _____ knows the truth. They know that he isn’t hallucinating and that he isn’t talking to thin air. Good thing they know that the words the young master was uttering are directed at a certain invisible dragon.

"It's fine now, I'll be supporting too."

Those words may seem like it was directed at the Countess and Cale but it was directed towards Raon. It's the healer's way of saying that everything will be fine so Raon better follows Cale's instructions.

_____ can’t see Raon nor can they hear his voice in their head, but they’re sure that the dragon has quieted down since Cale had stopped muttering

“Does healer-nim need help?”

The territory’s healer finally arrived. Meanwhile, _____ has not only aided Cale’s vitality of the heart, but they were also healing Choi Han while supporting Mary.

“Yes please.”

Short responses are the only thing _____ can form right now. They must focus all their strength on supporting three people. Choi Han is especially hard to heal. It’s because the Medicus had only known long-distance healing in theory and had never tried it in person.

The far away and moving Choi Han proved to be a difficult patient but _____ is certain that his recovering little by little from the wounds they are slowly absorbing. 

Drip

Drip

It’s a good thing the colour coding for this event is black. Even as blood drips down their sleeves no one would notice from far away.

But not the people near the Medicus.

Cale’s hand that had been holding onto _____’s arms tightened at the blood dripping down the ground. On the bright side, they are now certain that Choi Han’s shoulder wound is getting better.

Meanwhile, supporting Mary is easier but still proves to be a bit of a challenge. The Medicus has to support her as stealthily as possible to not give away her location. Usually whenever _____ uses her ancient power droplets of water would appear. Then they would cover those droplets with their light ability. 

But they can’t do that right now.

Both would be too flashy and would reveal the necromancer’s location.

So they did the next best thing. Which was making their power travel through the cracks of the ground and the wall.

Doing this while doing long-distance healing and supporting the Vitality of the Heart made _____ use more power and energy than they usually would.

“Leave some of the work to the healers and priests.”

The still pale, but doing much better now, Cale whispered. _____ looked at him to assess his condition using their power. 

“I’m okay Commander, and it looks like you’ll be okay soon too.”

_____ heard Cale sigh but ignored it. Seeing that his being ignored, Cale proceeded to gather himself so he could stand up again.

And that made the healer relieved.

Sure they knew his fine. _____ knows that the young master has a regeneration power. But seeing him being in commission again made it feel real. Especially after seeing them bleed that much.

That relief was short-lived.

Because tell _____ why was the first thing Cale did was use his powers again. The healer swears that one day Cale is gonna give them a heart attack.

Fortunately, the healer and the redhead have similar temperaments. Both can work well under immense stress and pressure while making it seem like they aren’t breaking that much sweat. Thanks to that _____’s composure didn’t falter and they were able to do what they needed to.

Choi Han is still a problem though. Because of the distance, the healer can’t fully heal him.

‘If only I was stronger’

_____ tries to push unnecessary thoughts away.

‘If only I was a saint’

Just as _____ was about to get pulled in by their thoughts, they felt a familiar chubby paw on their shoulder.

“Kind _____ hang in there a bit more, we’re close to winning! I’m going to go help out Choi Han now okay?”

Raon’s bright voice had served as a wake-up call for _____. Thanks to him the healer can fully focus on their task until the very end.

“I didn’t know you could do that.”

“I didn’t know I could too.”

Cale and _____ are currently on their way to the underground dungeon. Both of them are pale and their clothes are covered with blood but they are walking as if nothing’s wrong.

“When you were at the Paerun Kingdom I started thinking of my powers in a different light, and this was the conclusion of that.”

“But doing this is harder for your body right?”

“As if, you’re one to talk.”

_____ laughed as they saw Cale scrunch his nose at the comment.

“Yes it’s harder but it’s very useful at times like this. It's all thanks to the anatomy books Ron bought for me. Having a more in-depth idea as to how our bodies work allowed me to assess them even from far away.

It’s good to know that as long as someone is within my eyesight I can heal them. Haaa, but I must say, healing Choi Han-nim while he was riding those flying bones is hard.”

Both of them stopped at the entrance of the underground dungeon.

“Since it’s hard and you overexerted yourself, does this mean you’ll leave Choi Han in the hands of other healers?”

The healer laughed again as they waved goodbye. There’s no way Cale is allowing them to enter the dungeon and they have better things to do.

“No promises Cale.”

And if one of those ‘better things to do’ is healing Choi Han, then Cale can find out for himself later.