#that’s so. like. that is such inherent romance

[foundfamilywhump]

nope! that’s absolutely not ‘just romance.’ what i’m describing is a type of platonic relationship and interaction that i write about that a lot of people like to paint as presumptively or inherently romantic because it’s intimate or intense or whatever. romance is not an action or a happy ending and this is not about how whump has room for nonromantic relationships because it’s not diamonds and roses and happy endings this is about how whump has more room for intimacy and reliance and intense relationships that aren’t presumptively romantic.

the only thing separating a romantic and platonic dynamic is the intentions and labels of the people involved. the idea that ‘well it’s not fluffy and sweet so it’s not romance’ is the takeaway from this post is baffling to me and reinforces some wild romance-centric beliefs about relationships. no, this isn’t about happy ever after (and happy endings exist platonically to i promise) or diamonds and roses or whatever. it’s about media and creative communities leaving room for platonic intimacy and the comfort i as a romance repulsed aromantic person find in a community that does that more often than most others do.

being aromantic and into whump is like. shoutout to whump for being a great opportunity to engage with stories about intimacy and vulnerability and powerful emotion and physical interactions with other people and intense relationships that are not presumptively based in romance. what would i do without you.

[nellasbookplanet]

What with cr3 ending and me having semi-recently read dungeon meshi and currently replaying mass effect, I find myself pondering characters coming back from the dead and the nature of (happy) endings.

The thing is, I generally prefer a happy ending, and I don’t really agree with takes that they're boring. I do, however, want my happy endings to feel earned, and not in a 'the characters went through a lot of hardships and deserve it' way but in a 'this is narratively satisfying' kind of way. Dungeon meshi (which I'm about to massively spoil) ends in an incredibly happy way, with virtually no one dying, and a huge cast of characters coming together to resurrect the lead's dead loved one. However, the plot throughout also massively focuses on the inevitability of death and of how to handle mourning and moving on. It features a character who, like Keyleth, has a very long lifespan and is desperately seeking a way to save herself the suffering of seeing loved ones die, even as they repeatedly tell her they don’t want the 'solutions' she’s offering. In the end, she does come to terms with things, and before attempting the resurrection admits she’s no longer as scared of the possibility of it failing or losing people in general because now she knows how to move on and find new happiness. When the resurrections succeeds, it doesn’t feel like a cop out or her backsliding in her growth, but rather as immensly satisfying. The nature of the happy ending is also overall tempered by very real consequences from the adventure that will never go away, rather than everything being saccharine.

In mass effect (which I'm also about to massively spoil), the player character comes back from having spent 2 years dead in the second game, and has the chance to try to rekindle a romance from the first game (assuming you romanced that particular character to begin with). Except, she doesn’t take you back. She has spent 2 years mourning and building herself up as a new person, and she’s terrified of losing you again to a looming galactic war and having to do it all over again. She can’t just pick up where you left off. Of course, you can still convince her with the right choices, but it’s made clear it isn't easy, and she does have to come to terms with that it’s not only possible but likely that she’ll lose you again (and indeed, by the end of the trilogy she does). You know by the end of it that she has grown.

I'm not opposed to Vax coming back, especially not with the overhanging consequences both of him and Keyleth having inherently changed as people and therefore having to build something new rather than pick up where they left off, and of him still being beholden to his duty as a champion first. Having a character cursed to outlive everyone she loves find a partner who's kind of undead and won’t die is kind of neat actually. The problem is, Keyleth shows little sign that she has learned the lesson so beautifully portrayed in dungeon meshi and mass effect. She still can’t move on from losing a loved one, still can’t accept both the inevitability of loss and how she, as an incredibly long lived person, will have to experience it over and over again. She explicitly asks Vax if he would come back to her if the Raven Queen died/was killed, all but implying she’d support this end if he said yes (he didn’t). At no point does she accept that he is truly dead. And while I'm happy she has Vax back, I'm also saddened it didn’t happen in a way that conveyed true growth of character.

[hansmic]

🫧 𝓈𝑜𝒻𝓉 𝓂𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓈 🫧

dad! han jisung x female! reader.

summary: The tiny, everyday things Jisung does for your baby—like making silly faces to make them smile, or holding them gently.

genre: romance, fluff

word count: 1.4k

a/n: I personally loved writing this so I hope you enjoy it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽

Jisung had always been a natural when it came to caring for babies. From the very beginning, he was incredibly gentle and attentive. He knew just the right way to hold our son, how to rock him to sleep, and how to make him laugh.

──── ୨୧ ──── ──── ୨୧ ────

• Today, as you watched him from afar, you were struck by the tenderness with which he interacted with our little one. He would make silly faces at the baby and gently tickle his tiny feet, causing giggles to escape our son's sweet lips.

You watch as Jisung slowly rocks your little one in his arms, his hands moving in a familiar and gentle rhythm. Your heart melts at the sight, knowing that Jisung truly cares for your child.

──── ୨୧ ──── ──── ୨୧ ────

• After a long afternoon of playtime, your son gets fussy and upset. Without hesitation, Jisung immediately scoops him up and begins rocking him back and forth, trying to calm him down.

His voice is soothing and calming as he sings a gentle lullaby, his soothing words and rhythm slowly causing your son to quiet down and relax in his arms.

He slowly lifts the hand up and blows a soft raspberry onto your baby's tiny fingers, making your little one let out an uncontrollable giggle. Jisung's eyes sparkle at the sound, his heart clearly melting with affection and joy.

──── ୨୧ ──── ──── ୨୧ ────

•In the middle of the night, your baby's crying suddenly jolts Jisung awake. Without protest, he sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he gently scoops your little one into his arms.

He starts to rock him back and forth, his voice a soothing and steady hum as he tries to soothe the baby back to sleep.

"Shh, it's alright. I'm here now. Go back to sleep, buddy," he mutters tenderly, his face full of love.

You walk into the room, having heard the cries, only to see Jisung gently carrying your little one in his arms. His face is still slightly puffy from sleep, but his eyes are soft and full of love.

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay…" he whispers in a hushed, soothing tone.

──── ୨୧ ──── ──── ୨୧ ────

•One particular memory still stands out for you—it's when Jisung first held your son.

He had cradled your baby tenderly in his arms, as if he had held a newborn many times before. The way he had supported the baby's head effortlessly, as if he had an inherent talent for it, had taken your breath away.

"He feels so tiny in my arms," Jisung had said in a soft voice, a smile playing on his lips.

──── ୨୧ ──── ──── ୨୧ ────

•It's a quiet afternoon, and you find yourselves in the nursery together. Jisung is gently tapping his fingers on the bassinet, his eyes fixed on your baby.

He continues this for a while, before speaking up, his voice hushed and full of love. "Hey, you know what I just realized?"

Your eyes dart up to meet his, curious about his sudden revelation. "What is it?" you respond, an amused smile gracing your lips.

Jisung's smile widens, a twinkle in his eyes as he speaks. "Our baby looks a lot like me."

Your eyebrow raises in surprise, a playful expression on your face now. "Oh yeah? What makes you think that?"

Jisung chuckles, a hint of smugness on his face as he responds, his finger still tapping on the bassinet.

"Well, for one, he has my nose. And his eyebrows are definitely my shape. But mostly… look at his face shape."

You look closely at the baby's face, and you can see what he means. The little one has the same soft, round cheeks that Jisung has.

"Well, I can't argue with that," you concede with a laugh, grinning at his observation.

Jisung grins, clearly pleased with your agreement. "Exactly. He has my cute cheeks. No one can deny that."

Jisung leans back in his chair, a satisfied smile on his face. "And don't even get me started on his lips. Look at those tiny, adorable things," he continues, gently reaching out to flick the baby's puckered lip.

You let out a small laugh, shaking your head in amusement. "He must have gotten those from you too."

Jisung grins, his eyes flickering up to meet yours. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean? Do you think my lips aren't cute enough?"

He feigns a mock-offended expression, making a show of looking hurt at your comment.

You can't help but chuckle at his exaggerated response, amused by his playful display. "Of course your lips are cute too," you say, shaking your head in amusement.

"But I'll have you know that they're extra cute when they're on mine," you add, unable to resist the urge to tease him back.

──── ୨୧ ──── ──── ୨୧ ────

•The baby is lying in his crib, his tiny hand tightly grasping onto a soft toy nearby. Jisung is standing next to the crib, watching with a small smile on his face. Suddenly, the little one lets out a series of happy coos, his face lighting up in a wide, toothless grin.

Jisung can't help but chuckle at the adorable sight, his heart melting a little more. He reaches out to gently tickle the baby's belly, causing him to burst into a fit of giggles and squeals.

The baby's giggles fill the room, his little body wriggling as Jisung continues to tickle him. "You're just too cute for words, you little rascal," Jisung mutters as he watches the baby's face light up with joy.

He eventually stops the tickling, just in time for the baby's laughter to subside into a contented coo. Jisung lets out a small sigh, his eyes still fixed on the baby's face.

Jisung reaches down and gently scoops the baby up from the crib. He easily lifts the little one up into the air, his tiny feet kicking happily as he goes.

The baby lets out a gleeful squeal at the impromptu picking up, his arms reaching out to grab on to Jisung's shirt.

He gently bounces the baby up and down, eliciting more giggles from the little one. Jisung makes a few silly faces and noises, each one drawing out a new laugh from the baby.

──── ୨୧ ──── ──── ୨୧ ────

•Jisung is now playing a simple game of peek-a-boo with the baby. He covers his face with his hands for a few seconds, then surprises the baby by revealing himself again.

The baby giggles every time, his face lit up with wonder and joy at the little game. He tries to reach out and grab Jisung, but his tiny arms always seem to fall just short.

Jisung grins, loving the sight of the baby's small, flailing arms. "Oh no, you missed me!" he says in a mock surprised tone.

He laughs and pretends to be scared, trying to run away from the baby's tiny grabby hands as he goes "Ahhh, you got me!"

The baby just grins and squeals happily, clearly enjoying the game of chase that Jisung has started.

They continue like this for a few more minutes, the baby's laughter filling the room as he tries to grab Jisung, who playfully tries to evade, before the two fall into a heap on the ground, Jisung finally collapsing onto his back with the baby on top of him.

Jisung giggles under the baby, the baby's tiny body warm and light against his chest. "I think I've been defeated," he murmurs, feigning surrender.

The baby laughs again, his face nestled against Jisung's chest, clearly enjoying his little victory.

──── ୨୧ ──── ──── ୨୧ ────

• Jisung is shown to be a loving and caring father who adores your child and is always careful and kind around them. He is also shown to be very playful and playful with your son, always making an effort to make him happy and laugh.

He is also shown to have a very soft side, and is willing to put aside his "cool" image to be gentle and sweet around your little one.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽

thank you so much for reading this I hope you liked it!

masterlist is here

[sapphicides]

call me crazy or gay but i genuinely think the writers, directors, and hell, even the actors knew what they were doing when it came to how they portrayed shauna and jackie's relationship in the pilot. watching it for the first time, i went in completely blind, with no exposure to the fandom, the ships, or anything beyond the core premise of "a group of teenage girls get stuck in a nightmarish lord of the flies/lost scenario after a plane crash and do crazy shit to survive." i fully anticipated any romance in this show, if at all, to be straight. yet i still saw how they established shauna and jackie and immediately thought "my god, these bitches are gay"

from the very first scene we see of jackie (almost) by herself being her faking an orgasm with jeff, clearly implying that she's disinterested in her own boyfriend, to the very first scene we see of shauna and jackie alone together starting with this rom-com esque image of jackie stepping out of her house while music plays in the background and shauna goes from resting bitch face to all smiles

from the longing stares they give each other in their school gym, to shauna responding to tai's "freeze allie out" proposal simply with, "jackie wouldn't like it"

from the scene of shauna dressing with jackie in her room before the party, her snapping at jackie when she merely suggests that shauna sleep with randy and jackie looking genuinely hurt and apologetic by it, to the infamous party scene where shauna looks on at jackie and jeff longingly– except, she's only really looking at jackie, because the entire shot is framed around jackie. for the majority of that scene, jeff is barely even in frame, a faded blur in the background, until he puts his arms around jackie and physically puts himself in shauna's line of vision

the way she immediately takes a pained sip of her beer after

the way she turns around to randy flirting with her, only to turn away with a look of disgust on her face (just like how jackie looked disgusted during jeff's attempt at getting her off)

the way she can't pull her eyes off jackie even when jeff is dropping them off, even when she knows she's about to fuck her boyfriend once she's gone

the way she says goodbye to jackie, tells her she loves her, and jackie doesn't say it back, so she asks jeff to say it to her when they have sex

the show sets up their dynamic to be one that feels inherently romantic to first-time viewers, only to flip it on its head when its reveled that shauna's true interest is in... jeff. she's really in love with jeff? the guy who's face we see maybe a couple of times total, that jeff? the guy who's basically a background character the entire episode, that jeff? yeah, i don't buy it

you could argue that the show places so much emphasis on jackie because it's trying to convey that the affair is eating away at shauna. to some extent, i agree with this, but i really doubt that it's only this. it would explain shauna's snappy and, at times, cagey behavior around jackie, but it doesn't explain the way that jackie is framed by the camera, music, or even some of the writing choices. whenever we see jackie through shauna's eyes, the camera is always focused directly on her, often times with her face illuminated brighter than anyone else. the music that plays behind her is shauna's kind of music (both supernova by liz phair, which shauna chooses to listen to in her car's tape deck, and miss world by hole, which undeniably fits her grungey music taste). she's joined at the hip with shauna, even in scenes where she's with jeff– seriously, there's only one scene where she's completely alone with jeff without shauna, and it's that one. and the same goes for shauna

for the entirety of the pilot, they are in a constant state of push and pull with each other, almost all of their actions being dependent on one another. jeff feels like a plot device at best, a character designed to come between them and to be thrown away once they realize who each other's real love interest is. even upon several rewatches, it still feels this way. even in the adult timeline, it still feels this way. we barely see adult jeff, but we feel both jackie's literal absence and her metaphorical presence in the form of shauna's collection of porcelain bunnies

there is so much foreshadowing and detail packed into the pilot that i have a really hard believing that this was just an oversight or mishandling of their relationship on the show's part. do i think there's going to be any kind of big love confession from shauna any time soon? no. but do i think they intentionally laid the groundwork for her to realize the feelings she had for jackie at some point? yes, i really do

[sunshinemoonrx]

Hey There Sure Was A Lot Of International Espionage In The Funny Car Robot Show

AKA Boonboomger overall thoughts!

...it was kind of a weird one?

Like, odd helmet designs aside, when it was first coming out the main reaction was "oh hey, a relatively normal sentai after a few years of out-there experiments". And then it...kind of was that, and kind of wasn't? Compared to an anniversary season where 4 rangers are suit characters, Toshiki Inoue's 50 episode dick smasher, and 2.5D soundstage romance of the three kingdoms for baby, it is much more like a normal sentai.

But then the second half of this show ostensibly about a bunch of racing car drivers fighting a bunch of evil racing car drivers is increasingly about even the ostensibly benevolent powerful in society's willingness to collaborate with evil to squeeze more out of the people, and our heroes fighting the police, the government and major corporations, all while, let's not forget, still fighting the main threat this is all revolving around, which is gay alien Michael Jackson and his gang of evil racing car drivers (although to be fair, none of this would be out of place in a Fast & Furious movie at this point).

This is...more cohesive than it should be--at least, as a tokusatsu fan, I'm more than the usual level of primed to expect serious pathos from a silly car robot named Boondorio Boomderas--but I definitely was more excited about the show early on when it was in full silly baby chaos show mode than later on, as much as I think it's extremely sick when your sixth ranger is dropkicking SWAT guys. But that might be less to do with the tone change itself and more character-related?

Like, I see what they were going for with Taiya. He's kind of aloof and catty but with a heart of gold, he's got this unconventional hands-off leadership style where he gives his team a lot of independence and freedom...but they needed to go way harder on either the aloof bitchiness or the supportiveness because it all ends up a bit weak and muddled. He never gets close to the full potential of a tsun hero who needs to open up a bit more because he's also, like, an angelic friend to all children; and if he's just nice with a little sarcastic/soft-spoken tinge...look, the whole "supporting his team by being hands-off and subtly doing things for them in the background while letting them run free" idea is inherently harder to do in a show of this level of writing complexity (low!) than just, you know, showing he cares by having him obviously do things for them, and support them, and be there for them, and not just sorta stroll in at the end like ah! it all worked out just like I thought! sorry I was busy cranking it

So, I enjoyed the early episodes where he was still just kind of a funny weird cat, and equally Mira was so much fun early on. She was doing all kinds of genki red ranger bits, making weird noises, bashing things with the wrong end of the sword, loved all that. And she didn't stop being like that later on, but that stuff felt kinda crowded out by the plot and (relatively) more serious tone, so she just becomes more generically peppy. I think another thing that made it hard for them to pull off the serious stuff is. okay. this might sound like nitpicking, but the "having your own hands on your own steering wheel" metaphor catchphrase thing. I get it, I get what it means, it's a theme, it's cool. but it's kind of long enough that it's not just a word you flexibly throw into a sentence, it becomes the whole sentence, so now when you're trying to recall iconic lines and moments, half of them are just "the time they dramatically said 'I've got my hands on my wheel now'", and it becomes hard to distinguish between them. Scale it back a bit!

With all that SAID I still happily tuned in every week. Even if it was a bit less dynamically rocket-powered, I still like when we're fighting the government. I love Robot Team Rocket (I love Yarucar being a little toy they wiggle around to emote for dialogue so much), I love the world's most pathetically whipped househusband blue ranger, I love all the yaoi between cars, I love the robotfucker secret agent, I love the funny ending dance.

So yeah! It's pretty good! I liked it! But either I think they could have thought out a couple elements better to make it really support the epic serious plot stuff, or those could have not been such an issue if they just went full-on for being funny silly antics car show of all time.

oh yeah hey what was up with the literal plastic disco ball taiya dug out of the ground that was the manifestation of the earth's energy or whatever

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/774737485890813952/i-mean-i-do-feel-like-if-someone-was-traumatized?source=share

So glad I read your response to this because it reflects my thoughts on the matter. Interestingly, my aha came from trying to figure out what the difference between Fandom and Religion are. Because there is one. Clearly.

But like Religious people make religious artwork, right essays and stories (The Red Tent was great), log their sources "religiously" like a fanwiki. Hell "fan" is short for "fanatic" so the equivalency is baked it. Fandom *looks* religious from an outside perspective. But they are Not The Same. Helenists, Classicists, and Zag/Than fanartists are doing different things.

But you know what that entire discussion looks and feels like? "What makes going to the movies with your girl different from with your bros?" "OK, But I give my mom chocolate too?" And other such "what makes these actions Romantic when none of them inherently are?"

Anyway, I've added something to my version of the Split Atrraction Model. Sexual, Romantic, Platonic, Aesthetic, and Agapic(Agape). I didn't even have to coin the term Agape, we already had a word for Divine Love.

Indulging in the Agape Drive does a Thing. A Thing that is Fulfilling to those that feel it and completely baffling to those that don't. Like me. 100% anagape here. Even when I was completely convinced Mormonism was true I was never really tempted to do anything about it. I just Don't Get It, but it does suddenly make a lot of Evangelist Arguments make sense.

"Aren't you sad and lonely without god?" Nope. I'm also not sad and lonely without a romantic partner. On account of the Aromanticism. Good day, sir.

However, alloros do feel more fulfilled in romantic relationships. So they should be able to have them. And people who feel divine love should also be able to fulfill that need.

This does make Cult Leaders the Agape version of abusive partners and Megachurch pastors the equivalent of catfishers. They just use that religious drive to get away with abuse/take all your money instead of sex and romance.

--

[wingsdippedingold]

I’m like 95% sure that the modern/non-magical version of ACOTAR would be one of those fuckass mafia dark romances

The Archerons are American, and the fae are all from the Uk. Instead of fae courts in Prythian, it’s mafia faction thingies on Britain that all have a loose alliance. Hybern is the foreign mafia (Ireland, surprise, surprise it’s SJM and her anti-Irish sentiment)

The entire plot tracks if you just tweak minor things to make up for the setting and no magic

Instead of visions of Feyre, Rhysand saw headlines of the Archerons when they lost their money when Feyre was a child (yes he is still too old for her in this version, it’s a fucking mafia romance what did you expect)

Feyre still kills Andras causing Tamlin to come investigate and find her, taking her to Britain with him

The whole UTM stuff still works if you just stick it in the night life and random warehouses or night club basements idk

the fae wine is literally just roofies

all the trials are just Feyre breaking through Amarantha’s operation location ig

Rhysand is still “the most powerful mafia head” ig but no one understands how because his mafia is seemingly the least lucrative and is just drug shipments or smth

Wing clipping likely turns into some sort of branding, I would hesitate from actual fgm because of the time and setting but idk

I suppose Illyrians are Scottish?

many of the working members of Rhysand’s mafia are underpaid and with poor conditions but they can’t really leave cause it’s yk, a mafia. The rich members don’t actually do anything, they just benefit from everyone else

do not ask me for the equivalent of Nesta and Elain getting thrown in the cauldron, I do not want to think about it

Feyre still gets mad at Tamlin for explaining that there’s not exactly a female equivalent of his position because he’s literally just the leader and because mafias are inherently patriarchal

He still keeps her in a house, because she keeps trying to join him in his dangerous night plans with random thugs, where she has a panic attack

His outbursts translate as panic attacks. I don’t consider his canon ones to be the same as a man throwing a glass or smth, because that’s still a choice, but the magic just reflected how Tamlin was feeling without him intentionally doing anything, so I leave that open

Mafias are historically male led, but feminist king Rhysand gave Feyre a seat at the table and a title despite her not knowing anything about mafias or the interworkinfs of Rhysand’s mafia

all the character tropes and the rest of the plot still work

Mor and Eris still had an arranged marriage, she was still abused by her dad, she still used Cassian, etc.

the whole “other daemati” killing Winter children bs still works

Nesta was still considered an alcoholic for going to less luxurious night clubs ig and was still locked up in some random property

Cassian is literally her physical trainer

he shoots guns

they’re really big because he’s very secure

azriel does actual espionage

Do I need to write this fic???

[aro-culture-is]

Aro culture is existing in a weird paradox

You don't love, not in the same way most people do. Because of it, your "max" affection for any one person caps out at close friendship. And on one level that's great, you can make so many friends, you can have so many people close to you

In your own way, you love everyone

And that's why it hurts when people you know get into relationships. It's why it hurts when they drift away or get different priorities. It's knowing there's a level of closeness that you're not privy to, that you're excluded from

You don't exist in them at the same place they exist in you, because to them, there's a spot reserved for someone higher, and only one person can sit in it, and it can never be you

And so, you experience "heartbreak". And because you love everyone, you experience it over and over again

To be aro is to be heartbroken, all the time

Ain't that a bitch

I think, I'd like to challenge the idea that romance is more intimate than friendship. That's a way that some folks view it, sure, but it's just... not inherently true, according to many queer alloromantic friends of mine. There's different types of closeness, and maybe there are certain types that can be different, but is a close best friend of decades less close than a new romantic partner of months?

I promise that you're okay as yourself, and there's closeness without grief in your future.

[drdemonprince]

honestly, a lot of the same principles you're probably apply to what attaining family abolition ought to look like in practice. to the average person it doesn't matter how violent the social construction of the nuclear family is; the idea of losing their mommies and daddies and not getting to love their children in what they've been taught as a traditional familiar way is super fucking scary and culturally threatening, and it's going to overload their logical faculties before they can even dive further into it. I don't even mean necessarily that either romance abolition or family abolition need a simple rebrand, more that we need to work with people's desires and attachments rather than against them somehow. because of course, if you really care about the people in your family, then family abolition would aim to free them from a lot of dependency and abuse and bring more loving people into their lives! and if you're a fan of romance, you can find a lot more of those kinds of tender connections and passionate feelings potentially the more wonderful friends and other supports you bring into your life. Even I intellectually know this is true and yet blanche at the prospect of romance abolition because I have my little Disney princess feelings about it all and want what I want relationally, and we'll keep going for it even if I never do get to have it. but I don't think having those feelings inherently makes me a opposition to the greater project. and I don't think those desires need to be like conditioned out of me either, or that's such a thing would work. I think everybody benefits from stronger and more diverse community ties, even if they do end up choosing to replicate the nuclear family structure or a serious committed romantic relationship for themselves. and I think maybe the way we get there is by really doing all that we can to grant people the benefits of these other forms of connection rather than taking what they do have away. because people really do flip out at the prospect of that and understandably so.

what do u think about romance abolition? i recently discovered that i dont think romance actually exists as in i think every relationship every person has with anyone is unique and different. the concept of romance is rooted in a lof of our opressive systems and aphobia is inherently tied to it. i think these labels of being in a "romantic" relationship endanger everyone due to a percieved wrong clearness of what their relationship boundaries and expectations are and it also devalues "platonic" (and a lot other) relationships.

i also recommend the aromantic manifesto blog on here to kind of get part of the concept im talking abt

this comes from the mind of an audhd aroace trans person, if thats of any relevance!

thank u for ur blog an your opinions ⭐

I am fairly receptive to the idea that romance as we currently conceive of it is a recent cultural invention that is pretty ahistorical, and that is used to further the isolation of individuals from community. but also, I don't think we are going to get anywhere as a social or political movement in denying the feelings that a majority of people have, myself very much among them.

Even if it is all born of cultural conditioning, the cat is kind of out of the bag, and a great deal of us experience a romantic drive, romantic longings, close attachments that are romantic that we experience as distinct from non-romantic attachments, and view romance as a meaningful fount of inspiration in our art, sexualities, and even spiritualities.

I am all for a move away from amatonormativity and the primacy of the monogamous, legally committed relationship, but I do think there is something emotionally real going on there for those of us who experience it. I used to care a lot more about straightforward rationality, and after that about justice, but now I care a great deal about the emotionally felt reality of things, and the realms of life that are not easily categorized or known. I can't explain why the idea of romance is important to me, only that it is, and I personally have no desire in doing away with it.

perhaps I feel some of the resistance to the idea of romance abolition that some instantly feel when they first hear of family abolition-- The idea makes them uncomfortable because of what it sounds like, which is a threat to something that they are very bonded to.

I think on an institutional level it would be very beneficial to not tie social benefits or legal status to a person's romantic relationships. but in terms of my personal life? I draw very firm boundaries between relationships that are romantic in nature and those that are not, that is a distinction that is very important to me and I often feel really trampled upon by people who believe that no one should see a designation between those things. in most of the world writ large that's a very small problem, but I mostly run with polyamorous queer people who tend to see many of their relationships is a big mishmash of affection and commitment and friendship and that can get real fucking messy real fast in addition to being beautiful or revolutionary or what have you.

I think ultimately I'm a little bit more interested in providing the social supports and physical infrastructure that would make it more possible for individuals to form community in whatever ways that means for them. I think a lot of beneficial social changes and liberation would flow from that, rather than moving to abolish romantic relationships first.

and I really do get uncomfortable when a certain subcategory of relationally radical polyamorous queer people try to push against other people's romantic or sexual boundaries in the name of liberation; I understand if that sounds like a totally ridiculous complaint to you, the way a person complaining about veganism being forced on them almost always sounds like a overreacting cry baby, but I've been in enough toxic fucking communities since I was an 18-year-old to feel like I'm owed this grievance, and kind of want to give voice to it because I have seen people be abused in the name of otherwise really understandable ideals like these.

I think it is okay for a person to draw distinctions between their types of relationships, and to want certain forms of attachment with only certain people... there has to be a way to square this with a desire for greater community ties and interreliance. I need there to be, or it would not be a ideology I could really find myself safely within to be honest.

All that uncomfortable hand ringing aside, as a member of the asexual community and a person who does not form connections in a typical way, I have so much respect and care for my aromantic comrades and I do recognize how supremely excluded from basically every social practice and institution in the world you are, and how difficult it is for anyone to make family or build community for themselves in a world that prioritizes exclusive romantic relationships over everything. and I do really believe that fighting against that is a worthy and necessary project. I am perhaps just ultimately a bit less enlightened in terms of what I personally need and aspire to.

[suoulfillem]

what’s crazy to me is i remember nothing about the last season of house besides the last episode where house fakes his death to avoid going to prison so he can be with wilson in the few months he has left to live before dying of cancer and they travel off into the sunset on motorbikes together. peak romance

[rendevok]

Moon dance 🌕✨

[bunnieswithknives]

how we feelin about tincrow

I hate gay people

[mephoj]

late night chat

[vaguely-concerned]

rook x lucanis: romance with a commentary track! solas and spite contribute with their thoughts and opinions along the way whether anyone wants them to or not. it's like a MST3K episode up in here as you try to get hot and heavy. in. in the pantry. love among the radishes at the end of the world (rifftrax version)

[cedric-k-rossignol]

And on the first day of romance, Black Butler gave to me... (1/14)

[yappacadaver]

Crazy wild shit man