#that’s okay it means i can make her one myself lol
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gothamite-rambler · 3 days ago
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Posting on AO3 and Tumblr
Hey everyone! I haven't been posting my usual longer script flash fics here because I've been busy moving and concentrating on writing a lot of them on AO3. Many of those fics work better as one-shots over there. I hesitated to post them because I was worried they wouldn't belong on AO3; it felt weird to write them like script fics. Heck on here I switched formats for a time, ashamed of my writing style, and I didn't think they deserved to be there. Even when friends recommended I share them, I felt inadequate and kept posting here instead.
But with the help from my friends I finally worked up the courage to do both, post on here and archive of our own. I love writing fanfiction and it's fun exploring the batman mythos. I'm still working on handling the hate comments, but... I'm getting there sorta lol. 😊
For me, my longer fics tend to bog down the feed here, and I don’t mean that negatively! While it may sound like I am, I was just too focused on the numbers, worrying about getting the most kudos and comments. I was fixated on this odd idea of becoming 'famous' instead of writing what I genuinely enjoy for myself and the readers who might come across it.
Sorry for rambling! I plan to continue posting script fics here that are connected to my works on AO3, but they’ll be shorter. You can find links to my current AO3 works in the master list, although some of the links under it may be dead.
Current fics on ao3:
Batfamily Adventures: Jim Gordon
Burden of Blame
I'm a poison... I couldn't save them - Nightwing Fic 
The Ties that Bind: Cassandra Cain and Jason Todd Becoming Friends 
"Okay, but how were you able to taste heroin?" - Remember that one time?
There some not posted W.I.P. I have ready to post on ao3 as well:
JayRose Flash fics: How they met, them keeping it secret and finding out they want to give a monogamous relationship a shot with each other and see where there love takes them.
Dimensional Crossroads: A fanfic where portals open around the world and Gotham, leading the main Batfamily to encounter alternate versions of themselves, their friends, and those they’ve lost.
Harley Quinn's Redemption Arc: Harley Quinn, while admittedly insane from the effects of jumping into the Joker toxin, is making amends and bettering herself as best as she can. She's not a hero or a licensed therapist anymore, but being an anti-hero street therapist works for her. Now, she's attempting to repair her relationships with former foes, especially Jason. Her girlfriend Ivy doesn't fully support her working with the Bat Family, but she will still be there for her.
Timbern Fics: These stories center on Tim Drake and Bernard, exploring their unique dynamic. Tim struggles to keep his superhero life separate from his love life, but Bernard isn’t one to shy away from a chance to fight bad guys. Together, they make the perfect couple—who knew romance could be so action-packed?
Tim Drake Fics: This series delves into Tim's journey as he copes with the tragic deaths of his parents. It captures his internal conflicts with villains who complement his persona, his occasional hair-trigger temper, and the way his intelligence and tendency to overthink often come in handy—at the most unexpected moments.
Duke Thomas Fics: Follow Duke as he adjusts to life within the Batfamily, carving out his own niche while embracing the unconventional nature of his new home. He’s not your average hero, and some of his moves—and perhaps even his strategies—are inspired by his favorite animes. Just remember, he doesn’t mess with the spirits!
Cass Fics: In these stories, Cass shows off her badass side while embracing her role as Bruce's favorite (and only) daughter. The series explores her deep bond with her "baby brother," Jason, as she navigates her own anxieties and issues. And who says dating life can’t be enjoyable?
RobStar Fics: Join Dick Grayson and Koriandr on their path to rekindling their relationship. With open communication and maturity, they tackle villains and share tender moments. Will marriage be in their future? You’ll have to wait and see!
Spoiler vs. Kite-Man Fics: Inspired by a headcanon I had after watching Kite-Man, Hell Yeah, this series humorously explores the unlikely dynamic of Stephanie Brown and Kite-Man. Though Stephanie initially dislikes Kite-Man, their odd relationship shifts as she lets him escape and he proposes a rivalry. She even gets to meet his fiancée! FML, indeed.
Jason Todd's Pre-Return to the Batfamily Fics: This series dives into Jason's tumultuous journey before rejoining the Batfamily. During this time, he battles Tim in a brutal second fight, keeps Damian’s identity a secret from Bruce, reconciles with Dick, rescues Bruce, and ultimately decides to stop killing—all while forming his own team.
Talia al Ghul: A Good Mom Fics: This series portrays Talia as a mother first, villain second, in her relationship with Damian. After making mistakes with both him and Bruce, and following her brush with death, she is determined to be a better mother, even if it annoys her son in the process.
That's what I have so far off the top of my head! You can check out many of these stories on my pinned masterlist. Thanks for reading, and if I muster the courage to post them on AO3, I’ll share the links soon.
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your-unfriendlyghost · 4 months ago
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how I see Steve x Evie
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I love drawing Evie so much you have no idea
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kuromi-hoemie · 5 months ago
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i am once again thinking about The Boy
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not the movie lol
#give it up for day 13#how has it just been 13 days since my first time seeing him in so long#🙈💕 i like how i haven't had A Crush in a sec and the last person it was on was him lol.#there's a lot of little stuff that's changed since then abt myself and between us ig but good lord i have never been more attracted to him#than i am now 😵‍💫😵‍💫 seeing him in sweats and a sleeveless turtleneck that first day has just had him in my head every day since#like HELP he's hot 😭 but then like... so am i omg (⁠。⁠ノ⁠ω⁠\⁠。⁠) actually cleaning my place finally so i can have him over lol#i know I'm hot but at the same time i forget ykwim.. until i look in a mirror or see a picture and I'm like oh right i exist.#anyways ms ma'am is getting better at talking to her friends abt these kinds of things ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ ♡⁠#i say that there's nothing I'd do for a lover that i wouldn't do for a friend and that i just love ppl fundamentally#and i know this is my true self‚ but I'm somewhat new to living that in practice and on purpose.#I'm a little clumsy i think but no one's seemed to mind 🙈💕 i am happy that I'm learning and i am happy to deepen my friendship#and i look forward to how much easier this will be to navigate a yr from now ^.^ I've been polyamorous for a year and a half ig#and i feel like I've found my comfort zone yk? :3 ♡⁠ what being polyamorous Means To Me#it's good to be here.. i look forward to the friends i will make after i move and i wish i was more forward w the boy sooner omg#but it's okay. he won't be Too far away it's just a bit of a trip. i wanna have him over a couple times before i leave tho and hopefully#many more at the next place ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠ but i will visit him too hehe his family's rly nice
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spacespore · 3 months ago
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HI TUMBLRR it’s me
#I ate ramen just now it was soooo god I think ramen is just it just is better after 10pm#im right#ughhh ok that actually reminded me earlier my classmate was making an Asian people eat dogs joke like he put on this awful accent and he wa#all like ‘dog tastes so good with rice’ and then he did other stuff too#but what really made me upset is that someone who I thought was my friend found it really humorous! wow okay!#I know it’s not really a big deal but im still kind of sad like I’ve lost all my respect for you now#anddd they were my only friend in the class so now I’m stuck there for the rest of the semester I guess . I mean I’ll still be nice to them#but I just don’t think I can bring myself to like them anymore sorryyy . not really . but kind of#idk if I’m overreacting . in elementary school though people would make jokes actually about me eating dog and it always made me really sad#but I never held it against them cause we were children#but now I feel like you’re old enough to know what you’re laughing at..#wow ok this really derived away from me being on tumblr and having just ate the worlds best ramen#well . not really I mean it was good but I’m allergic to normal noodles and I need to eat rice noodles and they’re not bad I just don’t lik#them as much Lol#I feel like my actual posts say nothing but if anyone ever reads the tags they probably know everything about me..#I use tumblr to complain half the time loll and I used to post my drawings more but I haven’t made any good drawings recently😭😭😭BUT WAIT!#i have a comic I’ll post in October we’ll see how far I am in it by then…#im like . halfway done with chapter oneeeee so maybe like I’ll post all of chapter one on hallowern.. how does that sound… cause actually#for those of you who don’t know my story has ghosts in it#im like trying to keep it a little silly right now but the tone might shifftttt idk!!!!! we’ll seeeeeeee cause actually I have NOT worked#out the entire plot.. just like. most of it.#but I keep having ideas like midway through ughhh it’s an endless cycle!!!!!#like Francis . she used to be a random character who shows up once but then I was like . wait no! anjali should have ghost friends! and tha#that’s how Francis came to be#and actually today I kind of finalized her design^_^ albeit in my math notebook lol
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l0rd-0f-c0ws · 4 months ago
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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cat-tranzer · 5 months ago
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ugh i kinda wanna get back on tumblr and rot my brain out some more
#i’d probably mostly just still bitch about my family tho#and then dish n overthink on the polycule expansion pack that just dropped#kink club tales abound#didn’t see that one coming#still unemployed#broker than ever#paranoia is consistently present but manageable#social anxiety is getting lesser every day tho!! making friends is awesome and cool and epic#okay time to bitch about the fam#the level of misogyny/transmisogyny is ASTRONOMICAL since my moms bf moved in#like he’ll deadname/mispronoun ems and he didn’t even meet her until#until recently and she’s been transitioned for over two years like buddy you do not get the benefit of the doubt with a little ‘slip up’#here. you are being a malicious piece of shit on purpose!!!!! at least don’t be a pussy about it!!!!!!!#also big kudos to my mom on sharing ems dead name. really fucking classy.#my cats and my girls tie my sanity together with a spider’s spinner#thin and invisible they weave the net around me to keep me safe until i can pluck up the courage to get us the fuck out of here#should be able to pass a drug test soon so that opens up my application options a lot. i feel confident that i’d be able to hold myself#together long enough to get enough cash to put a security deposit down somewhere in the city#extra friends means the chance for roommates too!!!!!<333#only if i can be chillin in the nude in front of them tho. chances now are looking dece lol#ugh i’ve been manic dramatic for long enough tonight#hopefully it’s only the void i’m screaming at. i’m so damn lucky to have all that i have rn. especially the friends.#stick together with your local faggots and trannies always#ALWAYS<33#signed dogweed
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skullergeist · 11 months ago
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terfs will be like WE’RE EVERYWHERE WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE YOUR FAMILY IS ALL TERFS YOUR BABY COUSIN IS A TERF YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A TERF OURS NUMBERS GROW BY THE DAY like lmaoooo okay. only terf i’ve ever met irl was a girl in the psych ward. she also talked about being able to talk to animals and being part of the illuminati so. that’s kind of embarrassing for you guys
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phagodyke · 2 months ago
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why are glasses so expensiveeeee
#glad they do the 2 for 1 thing here bc I'll need a lab pair I can put in a safety goggle frame & and a general use pair#got my eyes tested and yeah my astigmatism is a lot worse LOL well it has been forever since i last had em checked#and i was wondering why looking at screens is so difficult and why my vision is sooo bad cycling at night i get crazy glare#well. one week til i can pick them up and then hopefully no more headaches and i wont get into any car accidents lmao#i mean my vision isnt THAT dire I can see fine without glasses just uncomfortable innit. esp if i have to focus#picked up my mail too so thats done... dont rly wanna leave the house again until climbing tn so im just gonna chill#also bought myself mouthwashing as a treat... it is my week off after all :3 i think im gonna watch a movie first tho so i can sort out#admin stuff and update my planner......and maybe journal a bit i have some shit I wanna work out#mildly annoying i wont be able to pin my roommate down to talk over the next few days bc im going out tn and tmr night#and we were gonna hang during the day bc she has time off work too but shes said she'll be too tired so she'll just be in her cave#and then idk if she did make plans for the weekend in the end but tbh if I cant talk to her abt shit beforehand I'll cancel for this time#I'm tired of every group social thing w her being tainted by this I just wanna have fun & not feel shit for being alienated for once#it was my friends birthday this week and id like to do smth nice w them but if we both go together ik she'll just upset me#unintentionally bc i havent been able to talk to her abt it yet. but still.#maybe ill just make separate plans w our friend then i dont wanna be an asshole to them bc i have a problem with someone else entirely#anyway. its not that deep just need to clear things up. fucking hell can my stomach stop COMPLAINING its not lunch yet!!!!#its okay. grrrrrrr. maybe if i have a snack itll calm down. i rly need another drs appt to bring up my physical issues but whatever#dealing w the depression is the priority hopefully my digestive system and menstrual cycle wont kill me in the meantime#okay thats my oversharing done for this thursday morning love u guys bye#.diaries
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celestie0 · 4 months ago
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gojo satoru x reader | oneshot smut [18+]
title. around the clock
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Hooking up with your little brother’s babysitter? That sounds more like a bad porno than a sensible decision.
ᰔ pairing. babysitter/boxing au - underground boxer & babysitter!gojo x college student!reader (f)
ᰔ summary. when underground boxer gojo satoru becomes a little strapped for cash, he gets a day job as a babysitter for a five-year-old kid named yuuji who most definitely has adhd (but that’s besides the point). the kid’s mom gave gojo two rules, and two rules only: don’t accidentally kill my son, and do not flirt with my daughter. he’s pretty sure he’s got a good hold on the former, but he’s got no self control over the latter.
ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem!reader, smut, casual sex, lil bit of fluff, lil bit of crack, slight age gap (reader’s 22 & gojo’s 27), cum play, creampie, unprotected sex, praise kink, slight degradation, gojo is a sleazebag that cares?, sort of porn-coded smut except there’s a lil bit of lore so it’s kinda porn w plot, uhh having sex with risk of getting caught, gojo beats people up at night & then plays father figure to a 5 y/o during the day, mentions of violence/alcohol/drugs/blood/cigarettes
ᰔ word count. 12.6k
a/n. hiiii friends jeez it feels like FOREVER since i've posted some good ol' smut (still has plot tho xd)...hopefully you enjoy n see ya at the bottom! lmk if i missed any warnings! if you asked to be tagged but didn’t get tagged it’s bc you have your tags off aaa :( even when some ppl tried to fix it i still couldn’t tag them i’m sorry!!
alsoooooo so very much love to @starmapz for beta reading this for me :”) really helped me w my posting nerves haha. she is also a wonderful jjk author pls go check out her works!! 💕 ART CREDITS: @/3-aem
➸ masterlist
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2:34 pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): heyy um i’m sorry if this comes off kinda rude i just am kinda bad with this but i was wondering if you could text my mom for questions about yuuji’s care instead of me?
2:46pm Gojo Satoru: Oh 2:46pm Gojo Satoru: Yeah, sure
2:34 pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): sorry i know my mom doesn’t know much ab how to take care of him bc i was the one that took care of him for a while but i just really want to separate myself from that guardian role now that i’ve transferred to NYU yknow? :/ i think it’s not my place anymore. i just wanna be big sis now haha
2:46pm Gojo Satoru: I get it. Sorry if I was making you uncomfortable with my texts
2:48pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): no no not uncomfy by it, thanks for looking after him. it’s just i’m kind of busy n stuff so it can be distracting 
2:49pm Gojo Satoru: Ok, got it
2:52pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): and it was kind of an issue with his last babysitter
2:53pm Gojo Satoru: Oh?
2:55pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeahhh like he would keep textinf me n stuff uhh kinda weird things… i told my mom about it and she was super pissed so she fired him
2:55pm Gojo Satoru: Weird things?
2:56pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeah he was always “accidentally sexting me” n like he sent me a dick pic once sooooo yeah
2:56pm Gojo Satoru: Who tf 2:56pm Gojo Satoru: I’ll go beat him up
2:57pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): oh no no its fine lol 2:57pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): please dont beat anyone up 2:58pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): i’m not saying you’re like him tho i just think maybe less texting unless its an emergency okay?
3:00pm Gojo Satoru: Are you sure because I will totally go beat him up for you
3:01pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): NO I DONT WANT YOU TO BEAT ANYONE UP FOR ME 3:01pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): also no offense but you dont look like you could beat someone up
3:01pm Gojo Satoru: WHAT 3:02pm Gojo Satoru: Tf you mean “no offense” that’s literally the most offensive thing you could say to a guy
3:04pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeaa i mean you have muscles ofc but in the ‘ohhh i wanna look good for instagram’ way and not like real man muscles yknow
3:06pm Gojo Satoru: Ok princess next time you visit home and go on one of your stupidly large grocery hauls I’ll make sure you carry all those groceries in by yourself 
3:06pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): NO 3:07pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): I WAS JUST JOKING 3:07pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): YOURE SO STRONG TY FOR ALWAYS CARRYING THE GROCERIES INSIDE 3:08pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): PLEASE KEEP CARRYING MY GROCERIES INSIDE
3:09pm Gojo Satoru: Nah 3:09pm Gojo Satoru: Should we be texting right now? I’m not sensing any emergencies here
3:11pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): pls. my groceries :(
3:16pm Gojo Satoru: I’ll let the kiddo know you say hi 👋🏼 
The irony of it all was that, if Gojo really wanted to, he absolutely could beat the shit out of someone. And he has, hundreds of times, pseudo professionally. Although that isn’t something he’d admit to you, out of fear that you might relay that info back to your mom who would then become mortified that she’s entrusted her five-year-old son’s life to the hands of an underground boxer. 
But he needed the money. A night-time job didn’t really make daytime money, not when they could easily replace him with the next dude the second he gets knocked out of the ring more than twice, let alone if he let it happen once. And although he sometimes made large sums, it wasn’t stable income. He needed a back-up plan, and so babysitting it was. 
The babysitter working nights at unsanctioned dojos and gyms located in the back of cartel blocks, knocking teeth out of men twice his size, would put any decent mother into a coma or induce some episode of syncope, hence why it wasn’t something he put on his resume before he got hired. Not that he even needed to provide a resume; your mom seemed desperate to cover the position as fast as possible, that promotion at work was moving faster than she wanted to, and Gojo’s beneficial attribute that he possessed as a candidate to look after her son, compared to all the other potential hires, was that he had a penis.
He likes the kid. Yuuji. He’s got kind of a short attention span, and makes Gojo weary of his age. Hold up, that makes him sound like he’s geriatric, he’s really only the ripe old age of twenty-seven, but the immortality and infinite stamina that a five-year-old boy has on him is enough to have him huffing and puffing at the end of every single evening shift he takes on with the rascal. 
Fighting is all sprint, and no stamina. Sure, there might be some more seasoned boxers that might disagree with him, but for someone as young as him in the field, it’s the tactic he’s been forced to gain. If he draws a fight on for too long, he'll get killed by a forty-two year old man with steroids clogging up his adipose tissue and enough  testosterone to grow a full-body beard by the time the sun starts to set. No, his strategy is to knock them out within the first fifteen seconds. Use their weight against them, and whatnot. A tactic he’s found has worked, since he’s been undefeated thus far. 
He can never wrap his head around it. The drug lords that run the rings who’ve gained millions the night before from selling crystal meth only to lose it all the night following in the second Gojo hooklines a solid punch to their betting boxer’s chin, making them see God & their Momma before they tap out (if they’re even able).
He doesn’t pocket much money from it, not anything compared to what the men who bet on him end up making at least, but it’s a decently solid sum. How lucrative it really is depends solely on what he thinks the value of his life is.
It’s not unheard of, boxers dying in the ring. Turns out, rich drug dealers care very little about the sheep they’ve captured to perform their entertaining little stunts. But Gojo wasn’t doing all of this to feel some sense of work-life pride, no, it was just sustenance. When basic needs are not met, humans resort to the most animalistic of all behaviors, and while he’s not proud of what he does, he can’t deny the fact that it’s turned him into an adrenaline junkie that gets a rush in his veins every time he knocks a jaw loose.
But balance was key. And hence why he’s a boxer by night, babysitter by day. For at least four days a week, he gets to pretend he’s the king’s most trusted appointed knight, or he’s the radioactive tyrannosaurus rex that wants to tyrannize all the other dinosaurs, or maybe he’s the evil power ranger (he always forgets which color that one was) that is determined to make the world a living hell by smashing mr. potatohead against the bunk bed post a billion times for all the other toys to see. Or whatever other imaginative hyperfixations Yuuji imposes on him in the later afternoon once he’s had his bowl of spaghetti-O’s and is ready to play. Lately, the kid’s been really into space. They’ve got all sorts of space toys these days. Back in Gojo’s day, he just had a good ol’ Buzz Lightyear.
“One rule, that’s it: don’t accidentally kill my son. Actually, one more rule. Don’t flirt with my daughter.” 
There’s a part of Gojo that believes your mom kind of knows he’s up to shady shit at night, otherwise why else would she clause for him to not flirt with you if she didn’t read the slight swell to his eye and the healing gash across his cheek as anything other than this boy is trouble and I want him nowhere near my too-good-for-him daughter of reproductive capacity since that’s the exact tale of how I became a single mother in the first place. Or maybe he inherently looks like he’s up to no good? He’s not sure which angle is more offensive, and which one was more flattering. Well in any case, she entrusted Yuuji’s life to him, despite acknowledging the plausibility of harm, and that means she overall thinks positively of him, right? ……right?
The first night he met you, it was awkward to say the least. Gojo spends most of his nights performing deadly stunts for middle aged men with potbellies, and most of his days hanging out with a five-year-old (one who he’d argue is his only friend at this point). Sure, he’s got some people he sees occasionally back in his high school hometown when he can brave hearing about how everyone’s in college now or doing a masters or they’re working respectable nine-to-five day jobs meanwhile he has to lie to his Pops that he’s been working in insurance for the past two years. Listen, in fairness, he probably makes the same amount of money as an insurance broker would anyways, but he can’t exactly own up to the identity of his craft. 
Anyways, the point is, he’s not used to seeing other people his age anymore. There’s the occasional hook-up with girls he hasn’t seen since Mrs. Tracy’s homeroom period back in sweet two-thousand-sixteen, or his twice-a-year hangout with Suguru where he only learns the day of where he's visiting from since the guy moves around more than Gojo can keep up with. But save for that, he mostly just sees your mom and then Yuuji. 
So seeing you standing in the kitchen for the first time when he went to put Yuuji’s half-finished GoGurt back in the fridge was startling to say the least. When the sight of a woman startled him, he knew he needed to start getting out again.
You were on your tiptoes, reaching up to grab at something over the fridge, and wearing these ridiculously short shorts to where he could see the curve of your ass, his line of sight trailing down the skin of your bare legs. He couldn’t see anything of your form above your shorts, given you were wearing an extremely baggy t-shirt with NYU on it in big bolded university letters. As far as he knew, you were a senior at NYU, studying psychology, made dean’s list consecutively for the past three years given the way your mother posted all your stellar transcripts up on the fridge (he gets that she’s proud of her daughter, but doesn’t that kind of stuff usually end in grade school?) But other than that, it was all the information he had on you.
“Here,” he said, pressing his front to your back, maybe just to get a feel, as he reached over to you to finally grab the box of cereal you were swatting for, the one that he purposefully placed at the back because Yuuji learned how to climb counters recently. “Is this what you want?”
He had heard you gasp, spinning around on your heel fast, staring up at him with wide eyes like you weren’t expecting some random man to be in the house right now, and your first instinct ended up being to grab the knife out of the kitchen knife block and lunge it straight at his torso.
If it wasn’t for his boxer reflexes, he’d have ended up at the ER that evening. Or dead. All depending on the strength you could pack into a stab. But instead, he deflected it, though not without a gash to his torso through the fabric of his shirt, one that you spent the rest of the evening profusely apologizing for and eventually mending to with cotton balls and neosporin. 
“I didn’t know you were my little brother’s babysitter,” you mumbled with a small wince on your face as you dabbed ointment on the wound while he pulled the hem of his shirt up to his shoulder. He’s never had an injury tended to before. It was nice.
“It’s fine, I get it, totally acceptable response to seeing a random dude in your house.”
He remembers the curl of your eyelashes while you stared down at his bare upper half, something he imprinted on his memory rather than the concern in your face as your fingertips traced the scars across his chest. He hoped they made you feel better about the one you just slashed into him, because after all, what was one more? 
He knows he shouldn’t have, but he kissed you that night. Two minutes before your mom came home, and right after you bid him goodnight with one more apology, he backed you up against the door of your bedroom, his hands on your hips pulling you towards him, and his lips pressed against yours. Something seamless, from candid conversation that was heading towards an end, to full fledged making out against white-painted wood, his teeth nipping at your lip and he wondered just how touch-starved those university boys were leaving you given the desperate way you’d clinged to his shirt for dear life as he deepened the kiss.
The moment only lasted one minute and fifty-seven seconds, and in the remaining three, your mother’s key pushed into the front door and he had to pull away. Always, on the dot, 10PM, she was home. It was how he knew he had two minutes left to make a move in the first place.
So much for no flirting.
6:57pm Gojo Satoru: Bahahah I accidentally forgot where yuuji’s epipen is 6:58pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo] 6:59pm Gojo Satoru: Turns out this can-o-soup was just covering it in the cabinet
7:01pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): ??? why did you need to find his epipen
7:08pm Gojo Satoru: Oh he accidentally took a bite of my pad thai 7:09pm Gojo Satoru: I freaked cuz I thought it had peanuts in it but I remember I asked for it without any  7:09pm Gojo Satoru: shit’s crazy
7:10pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TEXT ME????????
7:12pm Gojo Satoru: YOU SAID YOU DIDNT WANT ME TEXTING YOU UNLESS IT WAS AN EMERGENCY ?
7:13pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): SATORU YOU THOGHT HE ATE SOMETHING W PEANUTS IN IT AND YOU FORGOT WHERE HIS EPIPEN WAS THATSS A FUCKIGN EMERGENCY
7:15pm Gojo Satoru: THE KID IS DOING FINE HES ALIVE JESUS LEAVE ME ALONE 7:16pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo] 7:16pm Gojo Satoru: See. he’s chill 7:17pm Gojo Satoru: with intact airways might I add 7:18pm Gojo Satoru: Also isn’t he a little too old to still be watching baby sensory videos?
7:20pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeah my mom thinks he has adhd :(
7:22pm Gojo Satoru: oh
He tried to keep his word though (although he doesn’t recall ever giving it) out of the respect he had for your mom. She was a hard-working lady, single mom of two who went from working three jobs to now being a major administrator at a big law firm near the outskirts of town. It was an underdog story if he’d ever heard one, and he loved an underdog story. 
But a little texting here and there wouldn’t hurt, right? Or so he thought, until you told him to cut it out with the contact. Maybe you were just trying to be the good one in this situation. After all, hooking up with your little brother’s babysitter? That sounds more like a bad porno than a sensible decision. Still, he’ll eventually get your replies to his which shirt should Yuuji wear to the park? and look, the toothfairy gave him the butt of a joint and a couple thumbtacks for his front tooth. he’s ecstatic texts, although in a less timely manner than before when you weren’t trying to preserve propriety. And when you’d occasionally visit every other weekend, he’d do his best to keep his hands in his pockets, and you’d fill up your nights with hangouts with your hometown friends to avoid spending too much time with him at the house. A silent agreement to not fuck each other, it was. 
4:55pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): send pic of yuuji pls i miss him :(
5:04pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo]
5:08pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): IS THAT BLOOD?!?!?!?!
5:09pm Gojo Satoru: chillllllll it’s fake. We’re working on his halloween costume
5:09pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): WHY DOES IT HAVE BLOOD?!?!?!?!?!?
5:10pm Gojo Satoru: He wants to be a baby xenomorph and I'm his parasitic host. You know that iconic chestburster scene from the old school alien movies? yeah
5:12pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): satoru please for the love of god just dress him up as a dinosaur or something
5:13pm Gojo Satoru: I’m not the one that came up with the idea, okay? It was him
5:14pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): because you let him watch adult swim with you before putting him to bed. you’ve deranged his brain.
5:14pm Gojo Satoru: He needs it. Builds character.
Gojo was living a double life, and if someone asked him, he’d say it was less of a Clark Kent way and more of a Bruce Wayne way, although in reality, he knows it’s close to neither. He’s no superhero with a concealed identity fighting crime, he’s a con artist that’s tricked a hard-working woman into hiring him just because he’s trying to save up enough money to get the fuck out of this godforsaken town, given he’s not knocked dead before then for the crime’s amusement.
But Yuuji looks up to him now. And Gojo’s grown attached to him too. He taught the kid how to tie his own shoes and piss inside the actual toilet like a real man. And that kid’s the only thing that’s made him question any of this. Maybe that’s what dads feel, suddenly held to all this impossible responsibility and the pressure to stop doing stupid shit so that you’ll stick around to see your kids get older. The thought that there are eyes on you now, eyes that are innocent and hopeful and learning, and because they know nothing at all, you feel the responsibility to protect them from everything. For fucks sake, remind him to never become a dad. 
“Do you like my sister?” Yuuji had asked him out of nowhere one afternoon after he just got home from preschool, stacking a blue cube over a yellow one at the dining table.
“Uhh,” Gojo starts. He wondered if your mom had put a wire on the kid, so his answer was as diplomatic as he could manage. “Yeah, she’s cool. You’ve got a cool sister.”
“But. But.” Yuuji stutters, trying to find his big boy words. He stretches up higher to reach the top of his stack of blocks, but he only has so much arm real estate at the age of five. “Do you like her like you wanna kiss her?”
Gojo grabs the block from the kid’s hand, for a moment questioning Yuuji’s decision to want to put a blue block over another blue block, but he figures aesthetics are the least of a kid’s concern, and so he places the block where Yuuji wanted it. 
Why does the kid know what kissing is anyway? Do kids know that kind of stuff at that age? Isn’t a kiss to a five-year-old just something their mom gives to them before they head off to preschool for the day? And not something that happens between adult men and women? Maybe he should stop watching that adult swim in front of him.
“No. I don’t want to kiss your sister,” he says, again, because he is suspicious of a wire. It was a lie and then some, because he wants to do a lot more than just kiss you.
Gojo lifts the RedBull he was nursing up to his lips and watches Yuuji in the corner of his eye as the kid stares at his growing stack of blocks with a concentrated expression on his face, his chubby fingers squeezing tightly into little round dimpled balls, like he’s putting together all his tiny brain cells together to form another coherent thought before turning to face Gojo on the chair.
“It’s ok. You can kiss her if you wan’ed to. You can marry her too,” Yuuji says.
Gojo almost spits out his RedBull. He barely manages to swallow it, a broken cough immediately leaving his throat when some of the liquid goes down the wrong pipe and he’s smacking a fist against his chest to knock the sanity back into himself.
“Where the fu—…where the flip did that come from?” he asks, blinking back tears from the rasp in his throat.
Yuuji’s small shoulders sulk as he sits back on his heels. “I want a papa.”
Oh fuck that hurt. Jesus christ, there was nothing more sad than that. Yuuji has literally never known what it’s like to have a dad, since his had left before he was even born. Gojo’s not really close to his old man by any means, but he had still been a fatherly figure in some pivotal moments when he had needed it growing up. Kids need their dads. And he’s seen enough people lose their way without one to know that the value of them is really underestimated.
He’s also kind of shocked that Yuuji really did think of you as his motherly figure. Maybe since it had always just been him and his dad, Gojo learned how to self sustain from a young age, and he and his dad became accustomed to just looking after their own interests to avoid the headache of tending to one another. My land is my land, and your land is yours, and there was the occasional Saturday night spent together with his dad’s millions of beer bottles emptied dry on the carpet in front of the 1992 box TV as the two shared a greasy pizza from the place down the street. That was the extent of family solidarity that he knew.
But he can’t imagine being barely eighteen and having to take care of your little brother all by yourself because your mom was too busy trying to put food on the table and was too poor to hire a babysitter. Your mom tried so damn hard to keep you away from the single teenage mother life, but somehow ended up giving it to you by proxy in the end anyway. It was no wonder you wanted space now that Yuuji’s a little older and your mom can afford a babysitter. No matter how much you might love your sibling, being their effective guardian out of pure necessity had to have taken a toll.
Gojo clears his throat before he speaks. “Buddy. If I married your sister, we’d be brothers. I wouldn’t be your dad.” 
Yuuji’s eyes light up at the word brother. “Brothers? Me and you?”
“Yeah. Bros.”
The kid giggles, all bubbly with cheeks rounding fully and eyes sparkling. Gojo reaches out to ruffle at his hair before Yuuji gets down onto one stubby leg at a time from the chair then bolts towards the kitchen.
“Juice!!” he yells somewhere around the corner out of sight.
Gojo sighs, staring at all the toys he pulled out for Yuuji to play with, all left in a scattered mess across the table. He gets up out of his chair and heads towards the fridge. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll get you your juice, you little demon.”
The conclusion he comes to, and it might read like an obvious one, is that kids don’t really know the reality of life, hence why adults hide so much from them. 
This is what he thinks of tonight when he wraps his worn out boxing tape around his hands and his wrist, tightening it with his teeth, and he can smell the sweat and grime from them. The back of the underground gym had an old dated locker room, and as Gojo stretches his neck side to side while sitting on the stiff metal bench, he eyes the peeling red paint of the locker in front of him, blurring vision making it look like spilt blood. 
His phone pings with a text. He shuffles inside his duffle bag to look for it while his other hand scratches at his bare chest.
1:07am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): hhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 1:07am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): omgomgomg sor y i’m 
He blinks at the screen, confusion flashing across his face. He types one letter, but then he sees three dots and a speech text bubble in the bottom left, so he waits for you.
1:09am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): i drunk :(
The corner of his mouth ticks up slightly. 
1:09am Gojo Satoru: Yeah I can tell
1:10am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): at a apartyyyy
His eyebrows raise slightly, the thought of you tipsy on some frat party couch flashing through his mind, yet of all things you could be doing at that frat party, you’re texting him? Must be a really boring party.
1:11am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): whyyy are you aawake?
1:12am Gojo Satoru: Couldn’t sleep 1:12am Gojo Satoru: Don’t you have a midterm in the morning?
1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): wtf hwo do you knwo that
1:15am Gojo Satoru: Your mom keeps your schedule posted on the fridge
1:15am yuuji’s sister (no flirting): im so fucked;’;(((
He snorts. He’s got a bit more life experience than you, five-ish years to be exact, more than enough time to master the no-hangover hangout, but just before he can offer you some advice, he sees another text from you. 
1:16am yuuji’s sister (no flirting): can i tell u smething 
His gaze flits up to the ceiling briefly, and he hears commotion outside the thick walls of the locker room. The previous fight was over, and fast. The guy must’ve been knocked out in under twenty seconds tops, which means that Gojo was next up against whatever superbeast just beat him up. 
1:17am Gojo Satoru: Sure
He stands up, placing his phone down on the bench before he flexes the muscles in his arms a couple times to get the blood flowing into them. And there’s the noise of another ping. Actually, four.
1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): sonetimes 1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): i thikn of  1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): when u kisse me 1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): *kissed me
His eyes widen slightly, irises dry to the ashy cigarette smoke from outside lingering in the air, and his heart rate picks up a bit. An adrenaline junkie with close to no fear in his veins due to the way his amygdala’s been fried to a crisp from years of boxing, yet he’s got his breath hitched from the memory of your soft lips against his. It makes the blood rushing through the muscles of his arms rush somewhere down south instead.
Loud banging on the door of the locker room jolts him out of his trance, and he’s stiff around the edges once more.
“Satoru! You’re up, man,” he hears Danny, the fight coordinator, yell at him from the other side of the heavy & poorly-installed steel door.
Gojo sighs, glancing down at the texts on his phone. To respond, or not to respond. You’re off your face, clearly chatty from the alcohol, and he knows for certain you’ll regret every life decision you’ve ever made once you wake up in the morning and see the self sabotaging behaviors you’ve engaged in tonight. He knows that responding to you might put you at ease rather than straight up ignoring you, but the feeling will pass, and he has a match to win with no more room left to stall.
He makes his way out the locker room, pushing past the crowded halls of people underneath dim flashing club lighting, some dudes angrily jerking to face him when he pushes past them with a stiff shoulder, only for their eyes to widen when they see just exactly who pushed them. 
There’s strippers in the ring, doing some routine for pre-match, and Gojo narrows his eyes at the man he sees laying back over the rubber boundary rope, head tipped back up to the ceiling with a wicked grin on his face. So that was his opponent? He’s never seen the guy before. Was he from a different district? Different district talent was tough, you had no background info on them, while they’ve been preparing to be here for weeks. Hence why boxers tend to do better when they visit a different district than they do in their own. There have been rules made to limit these types of fights, mostly over outrage that it was unfair to bid on them, but they were also usually more entertaining to watch. Gojo’s got a sick feeling to his stomach as the strippers clear the ring.
“Hey,” Gojo calls out, grabbing Danny by the back of his collar and dragging him towards him and away from the girls stepping down onto the floor, “what’s in for this fight?”
Danny glances up at the ceiling. “Tarp’s bettin’ tonight, so it can’t be anything less than ten grand for you. I’d say tops fifteen?”
Gojo narrows his eyes further, then glances off into the ring again. The man stands up, and Gojo gets a better look on his face. He’s got short hair, neon green in color with a dark fade underneath and tattoos all over his face. But those eyes. They were freakishingly red, and it made him uneasy. He knows the type. The type of boxers that do this to genuinely hurt people for thrill. Make no mistake, Gojo understands he’s made himself out to be like that too, gaining some kind of rush out of this profession, but this type of fighter was different. The type to literally continue smashing a dude’s face into the floor until they’re a bloody mess even minutes after the winning call, and no referee to stop it because that’s the kind of action the spectators wanted.
Danny reads his line of sight. “That’s Gale. Newton’s new boxing toy. Came outta nowhere about a month ago. He’s undefeated so far in his district, and Newton specifically wanted to see you up against him tonight,” Danny tells Gojo, resting his elbow up on his bare shoulder. “Chances are he’ll compete with Tarp for final bid if you win this one. I’m talking twenty-five grand in the next if you can knock him out in this.”
“Uh-huh,” Gojo acknowledges, rolling his shoulder so Danny’s elbow falls from it. Forget the money, he just wants to make it out of this alive.
He sets his foot up on the square, ducking through the dividing boundary straps and the tacky caution construction tape that the gym thinks creates an exciting ambience. He hears the static of the speakers as the announcers call out Gojo’s name, then this other guy, loud bass club music booming through Gojo’s chest as he tries to take a few deep breaths through the thick air of this low-ceiling arena. 
The dim overhead lights flickered, casting shadows over the makeshift ring, and the crowd pressed tight around at every perimeter area, yelling and pushing, one even tosses a beer bottle on the square and it shatters, spreading glass all across, a few shards reaching Gojo’s feet and he looks down at them with a shudder. A fight immediately breaks out in the crowd over something related or possibly entirely unrelated, and he’d have no way of knowing as he swipes the shards away with his heel.
The influential men always sat up on higher seating, off towards the back in their own VIP section where they suck in the smoke of fat cigarettes and peer through 100% tinted sunglasses to assess the boxers they’ve bid thousands on. The light reflects off the golden grills of their teeth with every snarl at any passerby that gets too close, like a lion in its den. That’s what the sanction was called. Lion’s den.
Gojo sighed, eyeing the twisted grin of this Gale guy across from him. Was that his real name? Usually, foreign district guys get nicknames. Gojo’s always thought the nicknames were tacky, and he’s accumulated some of his own over the years, but to his ears, none of them ever really landed, although The White Fox admittedly was kinda nice. Reminded him of throwback shooting games. 
He sucked a breath in through his teeth, holding his hands up in front of his chest in weak fists, storing energy in them in the form of pure anticipation alone, and then the bell rang.
His opponent lunged towards him immediately, fists flying in a barrage of reckless strikes, and Gojo’s eyes momentarily widened in the briefest moments of hesitation he had been allowed before ducking and dodging every one of this guy's shots, then jumping a step back to create distance.
Fuck. He was fast. Not just boxer fast, athlete fast. There was a difference. And it wasn’t a good one to be up against.
Gojo picked up light on his feet. He couldn’t win this one fast, that much was certain. One single careless or reckless move, and he’ll get tackled. He knows that by the malicious look he sees on that guy’s face, grin wide like he’s some cannibalistic beast. 
Stepping back towards the center, Gojo purposefully set himself up for Gale to swipe a vicious hook towards his head, before Gojo last minute ducked down, crouched to the floor, and swung his leg out to knock the guy off balance by his ankles, and he falls onto his back with a loud thud!
There’s a moment of momentary silence from the crowd, right before Gojo put the man in a torso-lock, twisting him in a way a human body should absolutely not be twisted, hearing the grunts of pain and the crack of spine even through the shouts of the crowd.
He can hear it. Kill him! Knock his fucking teeth out! Snap his neck like a goose, man! FIN-ISH HIM! FIN-ISH HIM! FIN-ISH HIM!
He feels like throwing up. 
Gojo looks up at the referee, who wasn’t really a referee, just there to run the clock when there was action and only barely stop it before near death. “This is enough, right?” he asks.
The referee nods. “1-0, next round.”
Gojo lets go of his opponent, leaving him there to heave for a moment before he gets up onto his feet again. Just needs one more, and he’s a winner. Ten grand in his pocket, and he won’t have to come back here for a couple weeks.
Gale gets up, swiping at the spit that had trickled out the corner of his mouth down to his chin, and he had an enraged look on his face. The second the bell rang for the second round, he exploded forward towards Gojo with even more fervor than before, gritted expression with a thirst for violence fueling the storm of punches he was throwing towards Gojo but he tried to remain calm, light on his feet, swiftly duck and avoid before he can find another opportunity to clear a sharp, clean jab right to the ribs—
sometimes, i think of when you kissed me
Gojo misses his strike, leaving his guard wide open, and Gale takes the opportunity to land a solid punch straight to his jaw, sending his mouth guard flying straight out of his mouth into the air, and knocking him backwards onto the ground with a thud and then he finds himself staring up at the rusting metal ceiling and a ringing in his ears that almost matches the roar of the crowd.
His head is in a haze, dizzy like where one second could feel like a millennia. He feels a soreness underneath his chin, a pain that radiates to his mouth, and he briefly swipes his tongue over his front teeth to make sure he still has all of them. 
What the fuck was that? That intrusive thought. There’s no intrusive thoughts allowed in life or death situations, not when he was always just one smash to the head away from a permanent concussion. But, fuck, he can’t help it. Can’t help thinking of you. Even when his vision has gone blurry and he should really be weary about what happens next in this ring, his mind’s just thinking about you, at some frat party, tipping back shots of tequila and waiting for a text-back in response to your tipsy ones. Were you even waiting up on him? Have you already passed out on the couch, or were your friends dragging you back to your dorm? Or are you fucking some other dude right now? Has he got his hand up your top, squeezing at you, sleazily feeling you up before spilling beer all down your shirt, and are you kissing him back with the same enthusiasm, your phone now somewhere long slipped between the cushions of the couch and out of sight?
Even though it’s still sore, he tenses his jaw. Grinds his teeth, even. Tasting blood somewhere along the line of his gums, he realizes his lip is split. He licks at it, the flavor of copper more rich on his tongue, and he clenches his fists tightly. Why’s he thinking of that right now? It just pisses him off, the thought of you with some other dude. Maybe that’s what he needs to win this fight. Spite. Although he’s not sure why the guy across from him at the ring has to pay for it.
He lifts his head up off the ground, and while it felt like years he had been down, a glance at the timer tells him it’s only been a solid four seconds. A solid four seconds that his opponent had to fully charge a lunge towards him with the look of death in his face, raising his elbow up into the air in time with his leap, ready to come straight down, and Gojo’s eyes widen at the sight above him from where he’s still lying on the wood.
“Shit—” he cusses, rolling his body over to the side so that the dude falls straight down onto the floor rather than elbow Gojo in the fucking ribs, and then he gets back up on his feet. 
Stakes were high, he has to end this, he has to end this now, and he flexes the muscle in his right bicep, channeling everything he has into this one blow, and before Gale even really has a chance to turn around and face him again, Gojo’s already three-fourths set up a knockout undercut that he drives straight up the guy’s chin, with so much force it has him lifting up off the floor, a vertebrate stretch to his spine before he’s sent flying backwards and slammed against the tight rubber lining of the ring to where he was half hanging over it.
The room fell silent for a split second, then erupted in a roar as the referee fell to one knee beside Gale, checking him for any semblance of consciousness, and when he found none, he waves the match off. 
Gojo’s eyes flit up towards the lion’s den, the only opinions that he really needed to care about were sitting in those mahogany chairs with glasses of scotch swirling around in their hands, and he sees some of them looking straight at Gojo before leaning towards one another and discretely talking about something he can’t make out because he doesn’t know how to read lips.
He feels someone tug at his arms from behind, pulling him to crouch down and he balances back on the balls of his feet. He glances down through the ring at the floor. Danny was leaning against the wooden surface of it. “Dude. Go.” He jerks his head towards Gale, who still laid there sprawled across the now stretched out rubber perimeter bands. “Go fuck him up. Knock a few more teeth out, I don’t know, get some more blood out of him.”
“What?” Gojo huffs, yanking his arm away from Danny’s grip. “The fuck are you saying?”
“I told you, man, Newton’s here and he’s got his eye on you. Go give him a show,” Danny says, “do it.” And when he sees clear frustration on Gojo’s face he sighs. “Twenty-five grand, consider that, will you?”
Gojo sneers at the man, an awful taste in his mouth as he spits blood towards Danny’s feet. “Go fuck yourself on his cock if he wants a show that bad.” And then he ducks underneath the bands and hops back down onto the floor, pushing past people who were trying to grab at him and pull at him and lift him up and even throw him down until he made it through flashing hallways and back to the locker room.
He shuts the door behind him, sliding the bolt lock into the frame so no one can follow him inside, and then he leans his weight back against the chilling steel before tipping his head back until it hits the surface too.
He lets out of a few deep breaths, then stares down at the sting he finds over his knuckles. Red and blistering from the last punch he delivered, and he’s almost certain he broke a bone in his hand. Fuck. It was bleeding across the cuts, too. He had to figure out a way to get it all healed by tomorrow, as if that was humanly possible, just because he doesn’t want Yuuji questioning him about it.
Yuuji. For fucks sake, when has he ever thought about the kid this much? When has he ever thought about much of anything when he’s out here or in the ring? He’s a babysitter by day. He’s a “part” of your family when the sun is up and normal functioning society is breathing their lives into the clean air. That’s it. He’s no five-year-old’s caretaker in front of all these primetime drug lords, and he certainly shouldn’t be thinking of you when facing big, burly men he’s aiming to rough up, all within the dead hours of night. So then how come these thoughts are on his mind at all times, twenty-four-seven, around the clock?
He heads further into the locker room, glancing down at the bench where he’d left his phone, then picks it up, neck craned all the way down to glance at the screen as he holds his phone by his hip because he doesn’t have any energy to pick it up any further towards his eyesight. 
He sees your messages. You never sent any follow-up ones, just your horrendously typed out sonetimes, i thikn of when u kisse me *kissed me across the span of four texts, and Gojo runs a tired hand down his face.
He tips his head back to groan at the ceiling, guttural with no basis other than a release of all the pent up frustration of every sort, then he types in a couple messages to you,
3:23am Gojo Satoru: That’s nice 3:24am Gojo Satoru: I think about fucking you all the time 
—and then tosses his phone into his duffel bag to call it a night.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
You’re awoken to your alarm blaring heavily, and you whack your arm across your nightstand table beside your tiny twin-size bed to hit the snooze button, then rub your eye with a loose fist while smacking at the residual taste of alcohol you have on your tongue. 
“Mm…” you mumble to yourself. And then the thirst hits you. The overwhelming, intense, unquenchable thirst that leaves your mouth feeling like the Sahara desert before you grab your twice-dented Hydroflask from the nightstand, twist the cap off and chug about twenty ounces of water in one breath. 
You let out a deep exhale and fall back into bed, your hand resting on top of your water-filled tummy, and you stare up at the ceiling of your dorm. 
Last night was horrible. You knew you shouldn’t have gone to that frat party, especially given you have an exam in—you checked the time on your phone—about an hour, and an hour was not enough time to recover from the raging hangover headache that’s pounding through your head. But your roommates insisted you went, and so go you did. You never knew what to expect, always torn between shaving your pussy before you go or throwing on a stained pair of sweatpants to keep the guys away instead. Sometimes, it was a combination of both. But last night, you ended up drinking more than you usually do, and that always led to poor, poor, poor decisions, in which all the sense of pride you had in yourself was washed down with the puke that you hurled into the upstairs toilet. 
You grab at your phone again, briefly seeing that your friends had sent you some photos from the night. You immediately swiped off to the side to dismiss the notifications, because as far as you were concerned, you never wanted to see those photos in your life.
And then, in the briefest of moments, you saw a familiar name in your notifications that made you heart skip a beat.
Gojo Satoru (yuuji’s babysitter)
With an immediate gasp, you pulled your phone to your chest and held it there, blinking up at the pale yellow ceiling, your heart picking up in rhythm.
Oh fuck.
That was right.
You drunk texted him last night.
You drunk texted your little brother’s hot babysitter.
Fuck.
Mortified was an understatement, possibly because you don’t even remember what you said, and so you don’t even want to see what he replied with.
You groan, rubbing both your hands across your face then kick your sheets back with your feet like a child having a temper tantrum because you were so embarrassed you had even texted him at all last night. I mean, he was hot. A little older than you, really gorgeous eyes, tall, and, yeah, you gave him shit for the Instagram muscles thing, but that’s only because you thought he’d find it cheeky that you were trying to humble him despite the fact that he’s more toned and ruggedly sculpted than any other man you’ve ever met. You didn’t want to have a flustered schoolgirl attitude because it would just seep through to his ego.
In any case, he was hot, there was no denying it, so can you really blame yourself? But still. There was collateral with this. You had to see him every other weekend. He knows your family, even your extended since they invited him to Thanksgiving dinner a couple weeks ago. A high-risque drunk text recipient if he ever was one (of course he has been, look at that face). Why couldn’t you have just drunk texted ECON160 guy from last semester who Clit DJ’d you underneath your desk at the back of the lecture hall instead?
The thing that made you nervous about Gojo Satoru was that he was just so…confident? Like, in that I was raised to be this way confident and not that I fought inner demons my whole life to barely end up this way confident, y’know? Never had to fake it ‘til he made it, he just was. At least that was the kind of energy you got from him, and unfortunately for you, it was nerve wracking but enticing all at the same time.
You sigh. “Stupid. Stupid. Stuuuuuupiiiiidddddddddddd. You. Are. So. Stuuuuuupiiiiddddddd,” you sigh, running your hands through your hair to grip at the strands.
You pull your phone away from your chest, and finally brave yourself to read the texts from your notifications screen, but not without blurring your vision a little to further stall. And then you finally refocus it to read them. The first one you see has you gasping—
3:24am Gojo Satoru (yuuji’s babysitter): I think about fucking you all the time 
It has heat spreading across your cheeks, and you blink at your screen, then quickly swipe up to read the previous messages with rushed glides of your index finger on the screen to see that he had sent it to you in response to your barely coherent texts about how you still so often think about that time he randomly pressed you up against the door of your bedroom to kiss you that night you first met him.
I think about fucking you all the time
At 3 in the morning? He decided to send that text at 3 in the fucking morning? That was the devil’s hour. What’s he trying to tell you? 
Oh come on, you’re not stupid. And you know he isn’t either. The sexual tension was palpable, it was there since the day you two met and you almost stabbed him, and also everytime you were visiting the house, and his shoulder brushes against yours when he’s trying to get past you in the kitchen, or when you’ve got Yuuji in your arms and the kid is clinging to Gojo’s sleeve because he wants him near him at all times. There’s even sexual tension over the phone, in those stupid texts he sends you all the time about meaningless child care stuff, and honestly, those little updates made your day.
But… you don’t know much about him, and your mom would kill you if she ever found out you wanted him. And she’d probably pulverize him if she found out he ever made a move on you. Cremated without leaving a trace behind would be an understatement. She thinks he’s no good and she thinks you’re too good. You know she’s warned him before to not get close to you, as if she was pre-emptively expecting him to try to get in your pants like it was some canon force of the universe, hence why he’s probably so fucking awkward around you whenever she’s there too. Like if he accidentally got caught staring at your ankles, your mom would light him on fire, so he’d rather not risk it by just avoiding looking at you at all.
Your mom has always been protective of you. Your father was a deadbeat, one she thought she loved, only to watch him leave. And she had to raise a baby all by herself. He re-entered your lives right before you graduated high school, knocked up your mom again with Yuuji, and guess what? Left again without a trace. To be doubly humiliated by a man is a fate you wouldn’t wish on any woman, but that’s exactly what your mom went through. It was a wake-up call for her, though. No more living paycheck to paycheck like you had been your whole lives up until Yuuji was born. The kid doesn’t even know how lucky he is with everything he has right now. Your mom worked her way up the corporate ladder and made something of herself and now you guys were comfortable, so it was safe to say she had some sort of right to look after her daughter, of whom she simply doesn’t want to follow in the same naive footsteps of her youth.
You get it. She wants to break the generational cycle. But it made being with men tough on all fronts, let alone dating. You could never bring a guy home because he’d never be enough, even if he cured cancer or could make you orgasm while doing a sixty-nine handstand. And while her overbearing paranoia over what you do or where you are or who you’re with has since dimmed slightly since you officially moved out to finish your last year of higher education at NYU, you can still feel her disappointment from a hundred miles away when you’re making out with some random frat guy on his beer-stained couch at eleven AM on a Tuesday.
But you got to college. You’ve already made it this far. You’re on dean’s list. You graduated high school as salutatorian. You’re the most highly decorated cello player in the state. You won Miss County pageant when you were sixteen for your philanthropic efforts towards feline leukemia. You did online community college for three years so you could stick back after high school and help your mom raise Yuuji, which meant that you had to forfeit your scholarship to Cornell. You’ve spent your whole life being good, you just wanna be bad for a little bit.
And if bad meant fucking the hot and mysterious babysitter, then so be it. 
You pick your phone up, begin blasting what the hell by Avril Lavigne on your dorm room bluetooth speaker, then type a message to him that says—
10:34am you: do it then
—then shove your phone under the sheets and belt out the lyrics aaaall my life i’ve been good, but now, ahhhh i’m thinkin’ what the hell!!! while kicking your feet and clutching your pillow.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
Gojo has no clue what divine entity has overcast their gratuitous spirit over him on this blessed Monday afternoon, but he’ll thank them for it later once his balls are empty. 
He’s got you on your back, sprawled across the couch in the living room, the first fuck being a rushed one that you offered him with before he has to go pick Yuuji up from circle time at preschool, which wasn’t ideal, but he’s delirious at the sight of you underneath him right now. Your little NYU shirt, a tighter one this time, bunched up over your bare breasts, otherwise entirely naked other than the flimsy panties dangling at your ankle, and the view of the tip of his cock looking hot and heavy against the velvet of your cunt, slowly pushing in, feeling the warmth of your walls squeeze around him paired with the sweet moan that leaves your lips, makes him fall forward with a bracing hand dug into the cushion by the side of your head because the sensation feels so fucking good he can hardly keep himself upright.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he grunts, pushing himself in further to try and bottom out but he’s still got a couple inches he needs you to take, and so you curl your hips upwards towards the cieling to make more room for him, practically putting yourself into a mating press and soon enough he’s balls deep, “you on any birth control?”
“Uh-huh,” you moan, eyes closed and head tipped back with one hand squeezing your own tit.
“I can cum inside then, yeah?” he asks you, pushing your knees to your chest, slowly drawing his hips back and you squirm underneath him.
“Let’s get there first, and then we’ll discuss,” you breathe out.
“I’ve been there for the past ten minutes, baby. I could cum at any second with the way you look and feel,” he informs you flatly, because it was just the truth and you had to know it, then he feels himself twitch inside, slowly working up to a languid rhythm, almost fearfully like your mom’s going to pop out somewhere around the corner with a camera crew ready like one of those retro TV shows just to humiliate him on national television for not keeping it in his pants like she’d told him to. 
“Harder,” he hears you whisper, and he rolls his eyes shut to just focus on the feeling. The feeling of your nails grazing down the skin of his chest and his abs, tracing the scars he’s collected over the years, and he feels you tightening around him. He leans down to kiss you, fucking you properly now with the squeak of the couch springs echoing across the room, your hums of moans seeping through his lips until he’s fully taking them on with an open-mouthed kiss of sloppy tongue. 
The fact that it was wrong felt right to him, and he realizes in this moment he’s lost all sense of control. He wasn’t just an adrenaline junkie that liked to rough up dudes, he was an adrenaline junkie that wanted to fuck you against all better judgement or moral compass. The way your tits were bouncing, the slap of skin on skin, his balls slapping against your ass while you wrap your legs around him tighter, all convincing him that any consequence made it worth it.
“Good,” he groans the praise, pinning your hands above your head as he rams his hips against yours, your cute moans and squeals sounding like literal music to his ears and he feels heat spread all the way up his neck, “goooood, keep squeezin’ me like that, fuck.” He slows down momentarily, just to take a moment and watch, really look and see the way his length disappears inside of your pretty self with every push forward, and then he works back up to a relentless pace that has you tipping your head back with a slack jaw and eyes closed tightly shut, sprained expression of pleasure spread across.
“Oh, oh my god, Satoru—” you mewled and he felt dizzy from the sound of his name from your softly parted lips.
“Fuck, I’m gonna—” His hand finds it’s way between your legs, calloused pads of his fingers brushing against your clit and you jolt underneath him, gasping as your hand shoots out to dig your nails into his bicep for purchase. “I’m gonna cum, better tell me where you want it.”
“In me,” you moan, “nowhere else.”
He presses his mouth against your cheek in a lazy smile, “Atta girl,” he drawls before pushing your ankles down as far as they’d go near your ears, folding you in half and then reigns all hell into your cunt. He should really care a bit more about your pleasure, but testing your flexibility like this with both his hands holding you down was doing sinful things to his brain, and besides, you had yourself covered with the messy circles you were rubbing over your clit. It was hot to see that too, your nimble pretty fingers so close to the place where he was pounding into you. 
“Oh shit, shit, shit—” he grunts when starts to see blistering white in his vision, balls straining with a pleasure that was almost painful. The moment he finishes feels like hot flashes in his brain, a heat like the cum he begins to paint inside your walls in time with your release, thrusting over and over and over, each one more staggered as he lets off a long, drawn out groan that comes from deep within his chest with the feeling of you milking him dry and the sound of you enjoying every second of it. He can’t remember the last time he came this much or this hard and even after coming down from the high, he feels the remnant pulse of your orgasm around his now half-flaccid dick.
He leisurely pulls out, hearing you let out a soft whimper as he marvels at the sight of his cum slowly dripping out of you and down towards the couch, before he scoops it up with a couple fingers and pushes it back inside. You grip his wrist tightly, but you weren’t stopping it, that motion of him plunging it all back into you.
“Want a taste?” he asks, casually.
“Mhm,” you nod, face looking flush.
He pulls his fingers out of you, coated with sex, then plugs your pussy with the fingers of his other hand because he kinda likes the idea of you walking around all day with him inside of you, so he doesn’t want it getting out. He’s then pushing his other fingers past your lips, pleased to find he’s met with not even so much as a grazing of teeth, and he grins, “bet you take a dick in your mouth as good as you take it down here.”
Your furrow your brows at him, the pout of your lips seen in the way they were puckered to lick his fingers off clean, and when you release the suction with a smack of your tongue and his fingers were wet from your saliva now, his eyes narrow with desire. You push his face away with the heel of your palm to his forehead. “Flattery won’t make me suck your dick.”
“Alright. So? How is it?” he jerks his chin towards your face, pushing against your hand with his forehead until he’s hovering over you again, “taste good?”
“It’s cum, Satoru.”
He shrugs. “Bad?”
“No,” you say, and you can’t make eye contact, “good.” You sigh. “Hot. I don’t know. Salty, sweet. I’m the sweet. You’re the salty. And this conversation is obscene.”
He kisses you, capturing your lips softly, tongue darting out to taste what’s on yours. “I like it that way. Dirty. Nasty. Obscene, whatever.”
There’s the slam of a car door heard from the driveway, and the two of you instantly make eye contact with round eyes.
“Sa—” you stutter, “Satoru.”
He gets up off the couch in a panic, and heads to the window of the living room fully butt-ass naked, then peers through the blinds to see—
Your mom was making it up towards the front door, rustling with her keys in her purse. And the last thing he sees before he turns around to face you is her pushing the keys through the lock.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” he cusses, finding his boxers off of the floor, hopping on one foot with his cum & slick coated dick flapping around and slapping against his thighs unceremoniously as he tries to get one leg in through them and then the other. You’re trembling as you hook your panties back into place, pull your shirt back down your torso, and even in his extremely panicked state, he’s still sad he can’t freely stare at your tits anymore. You’re rummaging for your skirt in a haste, looking everywhere for it, and he finds it underneath the coffee table before tossing it to you and then he side-to-side hops towards the coat closet while he pulls his sweatpants up over his ass, in time for you to quickly run and shut the door of the closet closed just before the front door of the house swings open.
The inside of the coat closet is dark, barely enough space in there for a six-foot-four two-hundred-and-twenty pound man, but it’s better than being balls deep inside his boss’s daughter on the couch when said boss just came home from work.
He hears conversation on the other side of the door, albeit muffled, and he presses his ear to it to hear better while he tucks his dick into his boxers from where it was hanging over the waistline.
“Mom! You…you’re home so early,” he hears you squeak out.
“Yes,” your mom says, “The rest of my meetings today are online, so I figured I’d come home when there’s less traffic.”
Gojo feels you lean against the coat closet door.
“I see, I see, how was your day at work?” you ask with a tremble in your voice.
“Fine.” And then nothing. The silence could mean that was all she had to say, since your mom wasn’t really a woman of many words, or it could be a silence that means she’s suspicious about something. “Darling, why is your skirt flipped up and tucked into your panties? Your whole butt is showing.”
Through the wood of the door, he hears you softly gasp. “Oh, um, I just went to pee. Must’ve—…must’ve got caught when I pulled it back up.” 
“I see,” your mother says, and Gojo can hear her dropping her heels down near the shoe rack at the entrance. “You know, I really don’t like those short skirts you wear often. Maybe it’s just your generation, but I think it looks tacky and cheap.”
“Mom,” you say, in as stern of a voice as you can manage without sounding embarrassed.
Your mother sighs. “In any case, where is Satoru? I still would like him to go pick up Yuuji. I don’t have the patience to sit in preschool & daycare traffic right now.”
“Oh gosh, I don’t know,” you chirp, and then he hears you let out a small oh no before you lean even more weight against the door, this time somewhere lower, and he realizes you’re pressing your ass against it. His eyes narrow with a small frown, and then he realizes— his cum must still be trickling down your thighs. You couldn’t put your panties on fast enough. 
Shit. That’s hot. A little fucked up, but hot. He feels his dick harden against the fabric of his boxers, and he rests his forehead against the door, fringe stuck to his forehead with sweat as he slips his hands down his sweatpants and then gives his cock a firm squeeze. The thought of you discretely swiping his cum up your inner thigh and smearing it against your thin panties so your mom doesn’t catch sight of it dripping down your legs has him slowly working up to a rock-solid erection, and he almost lets out a broken grunt from the feeling.
“What?” your mother says, “what do you mean you don’t know?”
“I’ve just been watching TV this whole time,” you say, “last time I saw him…he was…um, in the backyard pulling weeds?”
He lets out a small scoff through his nose at your cover-up. Cute. And not bad. 
Your mother sighs loudly, and he glances down at the strained veins on his dick as he tugs it through his hand, the tip rearing and appearing flushed and dripping with precum. God, you were just on the other side of this door. Less than a few inches away, and he’d be inside of you. 
“I’m going to take a shower. Go find him and tell him to pick up Yuuji soon. But before then, change into something less revealing,” your mother says in a more or less detached tone, and he can hear the stomps of her footsteps up the stairs from above him in the coat closet.
The two of you wait at least a solid minute, and just when the coast is clear, he hears you turn the knob of the coat closet and slowly crack it open.
“Okay, I think she’s in the shower, I hear the water running,” you whisper at him, “you can go now—” You glance down towards his groin, your jaw dropping. “What—…Satoru, why the fuck is your dick staring at me right now?!” you whisper-hiss at him.
He pulls you into the coat closet, pushing your front against the door to where it clicks shut, and you gasp when his hands pin your wrists crossed behind your back and his dick presses into the plush of your ass.
“You talkin’ to your mom while your pussy’s stuffed full of my cum was the single hottest thing that’s ever grazed my lizard brain,” he tells you, flipping your skirt up and hooking your panties to the side, his index finger briefly brushing against your entrance to find it still leaking from the way your walls were pulsating from his words. And then he aligns his tip to your entrance. “Now keep quiet while I do this, ‘kay?”
“Oh—” you gasp, your cheek pressed against the door as you arch your back and push your ass out for him, “okay—” you say, barely vocalizing the first syllable before he’s already stuffing himself inside of you with one solid glide of a push, making you yelp loudly and he has to instantly cup a hand over your mouth.
“Shhhhhh,” he hisses at you, immediately starting to pound you from behind, “told you to— fuuuck,” he catches sight of his length covered with a mix of your glassy arousal and his white cum, now starting to cream at the base of his cock, “jesus christ—” he breathes out, squeezing the flesh of your ass harshly with his other hand and you let out another yelp, “I told you to fuckin’ keep quiet.”
“I’m—mff,” you muffle against his palm, “I’m trying but,” your hips move back in time with his, “feels good, feels too good,” you mewl, and his hand desperately yanks up the fabric of your shirt so he can squeeze at your breast.
“Yeah?” he grunts, hypocritical for telling you to keep it down when he was slamming his hips against your ass with so much fervor he wouldn’t be surprised if the sound was reverberating across the entire house, “you like it when I fuck you while your mom’s all clueless just up the stairs?” His rhythm falters, feeling his release building, and his hand reaches in front of you to rub your clit, making you drop your head against the door with tightly closed eyes. “Gets— you—wet, doesn’t it?” he torments you, his lips near your ear as he slams his hips against you harshly with every enunciated syllable. 
“Mhm, mhm,” you easily agree, or maybe that’s because it’s all you can really articulate, and he angles his hips up so his balls slap more fervently against your clit, making you scream into his palm while he picks up the pace of the circles he draws on your clit and in one, two, three— beats of his pounding heart, he feels you come undone around his cock, gushing wetness leaking out of you, he can feel the mess of fluids splattering on the skin of his thighs due to each of his heaving thrusts as he cusses out a fuuuuuuckkk before spilling his cum inside of you, a short-lived and thicker release this time that has you mewling from overstimulation, and in a few following thrusts, he’s given you everything he had to give.
His eyes open, he wasn’t even aware he had shut them in the first place, and he glances down at where the two of you were joined. Rings of arousal coat the length of his half-pulled-out dick, and the second he retreats all of it, a bulging push of his cum seeps out of you, dripping and pooling all over the hardwood floors.
“Holy shit, I wish I could take a picture of this,” he says, taking a step away to commit the sight to memory, your legs trembling and still slightly spread, ass pushed out and when you wiggle it a little, he lets out a huff of an exhale because he just can’t believe how sexy you are. Are all college girls like this? He’s never been to college, his old man’s been trying to get him to go for years, but maybe this is what finally convinces him.
“No pics,” you breathe out once you catch your breath, standing up straight slowly, “that’s my one sex rule.”
He takes a step closer to you, flipping your skirt back over your ass while you shimmy your shirt down to cover your chest. “That’s the only rule you have? Anything else goes?” he asks.
You spin around to face him, his eyes briefly flitting down to the still exposed skin of your midriff. “I have a feeling I’d be making up more specific rules if it was with you.”
He smiles, his hands grabbing your hips before pressing you up against the door again. “I also had a rule. It was to not fuck you. Wait, no, to not flirt with you. Which, technically, I didn’t do.”
You blink your eyes at him. “You’re kidding, right?”
“What?” he asks, genuinely confused, “I didn’t.”
“Huh—” you scoff, “how do you think we got into this situation in the first place?? You didn’t just say wanna fuck? You were insufferably flirty with me.”
“Nahhh nah nah nah nah, baby, that’s not flirting,” he tells you, thumb running circles over your hips, “that’s, like—…I don’t even fuckin’ know how it worked on you to be honest, I was just being stupid.”
“Oh okay so I’m stupid.”
“I never said you were stupid?”
“Well you said you were being stupid so me falling for it must mean I’m stupid.”
“Pshhh. You’re cute. Pulling weeds, by the way? Adorable.”
Your hand slowly roams up the front of his shirt, the fabric bunching at your wrists until you uncovered up to his collar bone, and you stare at his skin. He tries to not let the way his heart’s beating faster show through the heave of his chest. 
“Why do you have all these scars, anyway?” you whisper to him.   
“Too many girls tryna stab me,” he tells you.
You roll your eyes. “Seriously.” Your thumb traces the one you had left on him. 
“I—” He stops himself.
Does he tell you? Should he tell you? What, just because he’s seen you naked and you took his dick like a queen he’s supposed to open up to you about these things now? He doesn’t know. Maybe he could? Maybe you already suspect what he does at night. And if not, at the very least, I’m an underground boxer might make you think he’s hot? At the very worst, you’ll report him to the cops and he’d get fired as your little brother’s babysitter then thrown into jail, but not before the busted cartel gets him first.
“Maybe I’ll tell you some other time,” he says, his hand wrapping around your wrist and pulling it from his chest, “no hyper personal details until you’ve had my dick in your mouth at least once or twice. That’s my one rule.”
You snort. “I could’ve guessed that rule from a mile away.”
He hums. And then there’s the sound of steps creaking down the stairs above the two of you.
You both make eye contact, eyes widening, internally yelling at each other: how the fuck did we get into this situation twice?!
This time, Gojo opens the door and stumbles out of the closet, leaving you inside of it, just in time for your mom to come down the stairs.
“Satoru. I was looking for you,” she says as she rounds the post. “Have you picked up Yuuji? He has to go for his swimming lessons soon.”
“Ah, nope, was just about to head out,” he says, letting out a cough to diffuse tension, “sorry, I was—” he points his thumb over his shoulder to behind him, “…pulling out some gnarly weeds.”
She narrows her eyes at him. “I see. Well, thanks. If you want, I can add a gardening stipend to your paycheck. Let me know.” And he’s not sure how to respond because he’s not sure if she’s joking. 
He heads out the door, the keys to your mom’s minivan in his palm as he throws them up into the air and catches them a couple times. And just before he gets inside the car, he turns on his heel to face the house and pulls his phone out of his pocket to type in a message for you.
3:22pm Gojo Satoru: Send over those me-specific sex rules soon
.
.
.
[the end]
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a/n. hope u enjoyed im shitting bricks posting this bc i haven't posted a oneshot smut since february but thanks so much for reading i appreciate u!! i got way too invested in the whole underground boxer thing 😂😂 but the fact i managed to keep everything under 12k is an accomplishment to me bc if u read my other fics you know i’m a yapper LOL i have another kind of a similarly written smut oneshot n it’s a lil angsty (totally different au tho) i’ll probs post that one next but yea i really like, hmm, i really like exploring entire characters within a short amount of time i enjoy writing the obscure lore drops xd it’s been kinda fun so far anywho much loveee hope to see u around! <3
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taglist:
@joemama-2 @erencvlt @pickuptruck01 @hanakotateyama @nuronhe
@beabadobeee @air3922 @timetoletmyimaginationfly @chiyokoemilia @jotarohat
@sirencholia @sorcerersseestars @horisdope @to-dabi @staoru
@aliidarling @ninjaturtletoes @lavender-hvze @lanadelreylover11 @chckn-pi
@satoryaa @gojodickbig @v4mpieres @reinam00n @sleepyyammy
@haikomaiko @tbzzluvr @myahfig4 @arabelluhhh4200 @bloopsstuff
@nat-the-gayass-down-bad-mf @badbclub @blackunecorn @geniejunn @n0tviv
@verystrawberryhottub @iheartshopping @peonysfordayz @dreamsxmerci @aishies-stuff
@milkm4nz @athinasaurus @sashisuslover @welldamnsatoru @aeriiixhh
@crystalymin @dcvilxswish @miakxn @satxoru
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karlachismylife · 2 months ago
Text
Writing Russian-speaking characters
So I have once again been chuckling at some adorable clumsy Russian in Nikolai and Nikto fics, and thus I decided to make a little list that might be helpful for fellow COD writers here. And yes, please, feel free to reach out to me if you need any proofreading of your Russian phrases, I would be glad to assist since google translator can butcher it in ways non-speakers won't be able to notice.
I would really appreciate if you guys shared this post and helped it reach people that might need it, I put way more effort into it than I expected myself <3 Also, I might make a followup with some more words and/or phrases that can be useful, so please feel free to request some, since here I am mostly focusing on terms of endearment.
I will write down Russian words, their (approximate and wonky, sorry for that) transcription/transliteration and what part of speech they are (keep in mind that adjectives can be used as nouns when used to address someone) and provide according translation and use.
Keep in mind that in Russian the gender of the word is important!!! I'll write down them in following order: he/him (он/его) version/ she/her (она/её) version/ they/them (они/их) version. However! They/them is NOT traditionally used as gender-neutral pronouns, it's plural only. Some queer and younger folks do use they/them (myself included), but it does sound wonky as it's direct copy from English. Unfortunately, Russian is not very suitable for gender-neutral writing, but there are ways to go about it (I'll try to note some of that too).
*however, since Nikto is sometimes using plural they/them to describe himself, that would be okay with him since it's plural. I hope that makes sense, lol.
So if you're putting an adjective with a noun (example: милый котик) you have to use an adjective in the correct gender form FOR THE WORD! If the noun (котик here) is masculine, you use masculine adjective form EVEN if you're referring to a person with she/her pronouns.
What is love?
The main thing I noticed is that y'all use a direct translation of the word "love" - "любовь" [l'ubov'] (n) to refer to a person. As in "how are you doing, love?". However, that's wrong. "Любовь" is either a word to describe the feeling, or a name (short version would be Люба [Lyuba]). If you wanna use an affectionate pet name, consider one of the following!
дорогой/дорогая/дорогие [dorogoy/dorogaya/dorogiye] (adj) - means "darling". Often used between spouses. Mostly used to refer to person directly, sounds a little quirky if you use it to refer to them in third person (as in "my darling went out to buy some strawberries").
любимый/любимая/любимые [l'ubimiy/l'ubimaya/l'ubimiye] (adj) - means "beloved/loved/loved one" and is probably the closest to "love". You can use it to refer to person directly or to talk about them in third person (as in "can't wait to see любимую". Also yes, the endings are changing depending on the case and I'm not entirely sure how to explain this concisely without going deep into grammar lol).
милый/милая/милые [miliy/milaya/miliye] (adj) - the word means "cute/cutie", but is also used as a general terms of endearment, like "sweetheart". Mainly to refer to someone directly, using it in third person is a little old-fashioned I'd say. Also commonly used by people outside romantic partnership, a kind old lady can definitely call you over with this one asking to help her read expiration date on a milk bottle or something.
любовь моя [l'ubov' moya] (n + adj/pronoun) - okay, I kinda tricked you saying you can't use the word "love" to refer to a person. If you say this (means "my love"), you can! It's pretty romantic and I am actually the one person that uses this daily, otherwise it's either very romance-novel/old-fashioned sounding, but there are moments when it's perfectly suitable. Have that fairytale moment! Also please note, that while "моя любовь" [moya l'ubov'] (adj/pronoun + n) is grammatically correct, it sounds kinda weird if you use it to address the person directly (like in a phrase "my love, you shine brighter than the stars"). While Russian doesn't have particularly strict rules about word order, it does matter to some extent, and this is a prime example: people just use one order way more often that the other.
Pocket-sized
I've already told somewhere here my favourite Nikto fic moment: the sweetest, romantic moment, interrupted by him calling reader "детёныш", which means "cub" as in baby animal. And while my parents do use this word affectionately, I can assure you, most people don't, and it was clear that this was a result of a clumsy translation of "baby" or something like that. So here are some variants for words like baby, little one and such!
малыш/малышка [malysh/malyshka] (n) - I'd say this feels more "little one" than "baby" to me, it's a tad less sexually charged if you get what I mean. Also, you call "малыш" a person of any gender/pronouns, while "малышка" is strictly for she/her. Obviously can be used for kids too.
детка [d'etka] (n) - this one is definitely "baby" or "babe" as a term of endearment, calling a real kid this would be WEIRD if you're not a really old granny. I would also say that it's more commonly used to refer to female partners, but that might be just my perception and experience. It's still okay to use both ways. Also this word can be very much used if you need a little bit of sleazy/catcalling/bad pickup line energy, like someone shouting after a girl passing by on the street. Yuck.
маленький/маленькая [mal'en'kiy/mal'en'kaya] (adj) - this just means "little" or "small", I'd say it's used less commonly and usually in this form "маленький мой/маленькая моя" [mal'en'kiy moy/mal'en'kaya moya] (adj + adj/pronoun). I will expand on this a little later here! Can be used to refer to kids too.
All kinds of fauna
While poor детёныш is reserved for furry freaks like yours truly, there are some animal nicknames that are very widely spread! Here are some that I think would be most useful for y'all. Granted, some people think that these are a lil' bit cringey, but I think it really just depends on what you're used to hear around you. So if I think calling someone a cub is cute, and bunny is cringe, that probably says more about me :D
котик [kot'ik] (n) - this is a term of endearment for a cat. NOT same as kitten, mind you! Mostly used to refer to men (since the word is of masculine gender) - in my experience.
котёнок [kot'onok] (second o here is like ö in German) (n) - now THIS is "kitten". I would say this is more gender-neutral than the previous one, but the word is still masculine gender.
зайка [zayka] (n) - I believe this would be an equivalent to "bunny", although it's actually a cute word for a hare, not a rabbit. Definitely used for all genders (also the word can be both masculine and feminine gender), also is okay to use referring to kids (even teachers that are into endearing nicknames can call pupils this and it's not weird. well, in elementary school). You can also say "зайчонок" [zaych'onok] (n) which is a word for baby hare, even cuter.
рыбка [ribka] (n) - a term of endearment for a fish. I think it's viewed as a bit old-fashioned and thus only used jokingly nowadays, but you know what? Nikolai could pull this off 100%. Bonus points if it's "рыбка моя" [ribka moya] (n + adj/pronoun). Only used for women and the word itself is of feminine gender.
медвежонок [medv'ezhonok] (n) - now, I actually have never met someone who would call their partner this, but I myself would (and I definitely saw it in some media, but that's obv not too reliable). It's a word for a bear cub, so I think it's cute to call a huge ass bear of a military man this word. It's of masculine gender, but I would say it's okay to call a she/her person this too. ALTHOUGH there is a grammatically incorrect (but this only adds to cuteness as it often happens) word "медвежонка" [medv'ezhonka] (n) - this would be a female bear cub. My family uses this word, I use it, no, it won't be in a dictionary, but everyone will understand what you mean. Is okay to use for kids too.
щенок [sh'enok] (if it helps, щ is like German "schtsch", like in Borschtsch, like sh but soft) (n) - now, this actually is not used as a term of endearment, it's "puppy" and it's suitable for degradation. The word is of masculine gender, but you can call anyone this to be honest. You can tell Nikto he's "глупый щенок" [glupiy sh'enok] (adj + n) (silly puppy) and that man will either bark for you or gut you. If you say "тупой" [tupoy] (adj) (dumb) instead of "глупый" [glupiy] (adj) (silly), it will be downright offensive. You can say "щеночек" [sh'enochek] (n), which is an endearing term for a puppy, so it's a little bit sweete. OR you can use my personal favourite - "щен" [sh'en] (n), which is actually also incorrect, but if you've ever heard of a great poet and poetry innovator Mayakovskiy, he was called this word by Lilya Brik. I do NOT have the time to unpack that wild relationship (there was a throuple involved. Russian poetry scene of early XX century was WILD and it's my favourite poetry period hands down), but it's pretty famous. The word "щен" consists of the word "puppy" but with the end diminutive suffix cut off. The trick is, that while some words return to their non-diminutive form with such procedure, this one does not - so you're basically inventing a new word that now sounds quite degrading and harsh, but also sexy as hell (personal opinion). I would definitely call Nikto this word.
птичка [ptich'ka] (n) - that's just "birdie", but I actually wouldn't say many people use it to refer to each other. HOWEVER, Nikolai 100% calls his steel bird this. The word is of feminine gender and if you are calling a person this, it's probably more suitable for a woman.
цыпа [tsipa??] (n) or even цыпочка [tsipoch'ka] (n) - that's a chick, like a baby hen, used only to refer to women (feminine gender word). Honestly I only heard this in foreign films dubbed in Russian or like in jokes/sarcastic phrases. It's kinda rude/indecent/vulgar and the only man that can say that and stay attractive is Captain Jack Sparrow (he used this word in Russian dubbed Pirates like once maybe, talking to Elisabeth, and that was funny cuz he be crazy like that). But maybe you want this, idk.
And everything sweet
Unfortunately, I haven't seen anyone translate the word "honey" as "мёд" directly, that would be another brilliant laugh (cuz it's wrong to refer to a person like that), but there are some "sweet" words to use!
сладкий/сладкая [sladk'iy/sladkaya] (adj) - this just means "sweet", like the taste, and it can be sexy or sleazy or just cute. You can call a kid this word too, BUT for a child would be better сладенький/сладенькая [slad'en'kiy/slad'en'kaya], which is like one step further into diminutive-endearing department.
конфетка [konf'etka] (n) - this is a diminutive word for a candy, a sweet, like a caramel or chocolate or whatever. Not very common, but is cute. Also a way to describe a sexy/good-looking person (more likely a woman, the word is of feminine gender) or just something really good (a bit jokingly). The latter is usually used in a phrase build like "не ..., а просто конфетка", which is roughly translated "that's not ... that's just plain candy". Might have an actual English equivalent that I can't think of right now. Maybe "a total snack"? Probably that one, yeah. Can be said about anything, a car for example.
Shiny
I wanna stick in a few more words of endearment and they all are kinda shiny, lol, so here you go!
солнце [solntse] (n) - this means "sun", like that big glowing thingy in the sky, but it's very welcome as a term of endearment. This word is NEUTER gender (explained in the next section). Viktor Tsoy (a famous rock musician with an unfortunate fate and immortal cultural heritage) had a song ("Cuckoo" - "Кукушка") with the words "солнце моё, взгляни на меня" [solntse moyo, vzgl'yan'i na m'en'ya] (my sun, look at me), so "солнце моё" (n + adj/n) is a good one. You can also use "солнышко" [solnyshko] (n) which is an endearing version of "sun", so it's like "sunshine". Also of neuter gender! Can and should be used to address kids too.
золотце [zolottse] (n) - this literally means like... a little gold? A little golden piece? I don't think there's a proper equivalent in English. It's a word of neuter gender and it's very much used for kids too. Another version would be "золотой мой/золотая моя/золотые мои" [zolotoy moy/zolotaya moya/zolotiye moyi] (adj + adj/pronoun) - this is "my golden", it's a little less common and I feel like it's often used to be condescending, but it's not inherenrly bad, so you can use it for a loved one.
сокровище [sokrov'ish'e] (once again it's щ, look previously) (n) - this is a word of neuter gender and it means "treasure". I personally adore this one and it's pretty common. Can be used for any gender and for kids!
звёздочка [zv'yozdoch'ka] (n) - this is like a little star/starshine. Wouldn't say it's that common, but I use it a lot. The word itself is of feminine gender, but you can call anyone that! Or you can say "звезда моя" [zv'ezda moya] (n + adj/pronoun), which means "my star". Also feminine gender word, but can be used for anyone.
This dog belongs to...
I am not going to go too deep into sexy/sex-related words in this part, because I'll just get overwhelmed with the amount, but I want to go over some words of ownership quickly.
мой/моя/мои/моё [moy/moya/moyi/moyo] (adj/pronoun) - this means my/mine. It goes really well with many words in this list, especially the adjectives, like "мой дорогой" [moy dorogoy] (my darling) or "солнышко моё" [solnyshko moyo] (my sun/sunshine). The last version, "моё" [moyo] is neuter gender, it's NOT gender-neutral! It's the "it/its" I guess (not exactly, but let's just stick with this simplyfied explanation). Previously there were some words of that gender, so here you go. BTW I would say that in speech it's more common to put this word before adjectives and after nouns (like in my examples), just sounds better, but it's not wrong to do otherwsise. You can also just say "ты мой" [ti moy] (you're mine). Also can be used to refer in third person, like when you're discussing your man with your gossip girls, you can just go "а мой вчера..." [a moy vch'era] (and mine yesterday...) and everyone will understand that you mean your man. Unless you wee discussing pets, then they'll probably assume it's your cat.
хозяин/хозяйка [khoz'yain/khoz'yayka] (n) - saw this one too btw. This means "owner" or kiiiinda "master/mistress", and they are gendered, so it's actually wrong to call a woman "хозяин" unless there's some kinky genderfuckery going on (which I'm all for, but like. you get what I mean).
господин/госпожа [gospod'in/gospozha] (n) - okay, THAT is definitely master/mistress, also gendered. Standard BDSM terminology and yada yada.
And that's where I'd like to wrap up for today! However, if needed, I can write more - perhaps with curse words or with sex-related words, or some phrases? I dunno, you tell me! Once again, I kindly ask you to share since I think this will help people (and while I understand the struggle of writing in another language and especially using words from language you don't speak at all, I can't help but be a little thrown off every time I see a wrong use of words in text).
Also remember: while Siberia is bigger than USA or even Canada, there are still other regions in Russia that deserve to be mentioned <3 a lot of places with mindblowing nature, cultural heritage etc.
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rafesangelita · 4 months ago
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hi victoria!! you're my favorite writer. i just failed a test and i feel really bad about it 😿😿 i was wondering if you could do a rafe comforting kook!sweetheart that she failed a test? thank youu 🤍🤍
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warnings: bsf!rafe, reader fails her driving test (she’s me), comfort, fluff, slight humor, pet names
a/n: decided to make this a semi continuation of this fic lol. i’m not sure what kind of test you failed anon but don’t beat yourself up over it! we’re all human and it happens to the best of us :( thank you for reading and appreciating my works <3
“so what do you think?” your hands were on your hips, your hair falling cutely in your face as you beamed up at rafe. you had just explained to him why you wanted to get your driver’s license, saying; ‘what if i want to go shopping or something while you’re working with your dad? i could take myself to the mall.’ you had looked so excited, so without discouraging you, rafe went along with the whole thing.
“you know what? that’s a great idea, babe. do you know how to set up the appointment?” you nodded frantically, following him into his bedroom. “yeah, i go in tomorrow!” thankfully you were behind the poor man so you couldn’t see his eyes widen with worry. “tomorrow?!” he watched the way your smile faltered at his tone. rafe made a quick recovery, pulling you in for a hug as he cheered you on.
“you’re gonna kill it.. literally.” you pulled away, muttering a ‘what was that?’ before you forgot about the subject and started rambling on and on about what outfit you should wear to the dmv. after convincing you that heels wouldn’t be the best shoe to wear for your test, rafe found himself waiting in the office with you the next morning. “does my makeup look okay?” you fluttered your eyelashes at him.
“yes, you look perfect-” just then, an older man with glasses and a clipboard called out your name. “well, that’s me..” you got up, rafe squeezing your hand before he watched you go outside with the test proctor. he waited patiently, his eyes fixed on the tv screen in the corner of of the waiting room. not even ten minutes later, you had walked back in, a mortified expression on your face.
“what’s wrong? you forget something?” you shook your head, your eyebrows drawn together as you approached him with a pout. “no. can we just leave, please?” rafe got up, wrapping an arm around your shoulders before the test proctor came back. “you’ll be driving that one around for a while.” he laughed to himself, making his way to the back. that wasn’t good…
“what happened?” rafe asked once you two were back in his truck. “the test starts with parallel parking.” at your words, rafe refrained from laughing. “oh..” he nodded, “i’m assuming he stopped the test right then and there?” you stayed silent for a moment. “yes.” rafe took a deep breath before facing you. “don’t even worry about it, baby. that just means we need to practice more.” he reassured you.
“rafe it was so bad. when he asked me to start, i just thought about last time when i couldn’t even park in one slot..” rafe couldn’t help himself anymore, a laugh bubbling from his throat. “s’not funny!” you elbowed him playfully. “alright, alright, i’m sorry.” he apologized. “how about we grab some breakfast? it’ll make you feel better.” he leaned in, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.
“okay..” you agreed, “you know what else would make me feel better?” rafe hummed, starting up the engine. “three orgasms and a shopping spree.”
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requiemforthepoets · 3 months ago
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this is me trying 𖦹 OP81
PAIRINGS: oscar piastri x female!reader
SUMMARY: growing up, the only thing you know is that you need to be strong, provide, and take care of your sister. but being with oscar, it was different, he made you feel things—that it’s okay to not be fine, vulnerable, and to be taken care of.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: i have this fic finished the other day but i was debating on whether to post it or not, but here we are. it’s been a while too since i last wrote for oscar, and this is like a comfort (?) fic idk lol. also, can i just say that LANDO ON POLE FOR THE SG GP!!! 😭🧡 ok, i hope you guys will have fun reading this one. enjoy! :)
REMINDERS: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.
WORD COUNT: 3.6k
WARNINGS: not proofread, typos, eldest daughter syndrome, no use of y/n, cursing, unnamed sister, named friend, and parents death
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You were sitting in the living room, surrounded by case files and legal books, trying your best to prepare for the court trial that you’ll be doing soon, but your mind was elsewhere. You can't focus on the work that you’re working on in front of you, no matter how hard you try. Your phone buzzed, and you almost didn’t answer, thinking it’s just another work call, but when you saw Blaire, your friend’s name, flash on the screen you quickly picked up, expecting a casual chat.
“Hey, Blaire, how are you?” You greeted her, trying to mask your exhaustion.
Her voice on the other end was hesitant, not the usual warm tone that you’re used to. “Hey…I really hate to bring this up, but I was wondering when you would be able to repay the five thousand dollars?”
Your stomach dropped. “Repay?” You repeated, utterly confused. “What do you mean five thousand dollars?”
The conversation between you and Blaire unraveled quickly. She explained how she had lent the money to your sister out of need, thinking it was for you or with your approval. Rage bubbled in your chest, your pulse quickened, at this point all you can see is red. You thanked her hastily, barely able to end the call before fury overtook you. Without thinking, you dialed your sister’s number, the beeps echoing in your ear like a countdown to an explosion.
“Hello?” Her voice was casual, completely unaware of the storm coming her way.
“What the actual fuck did you do?!” You yelled, not caring if it was late at night. “You borrowed five fucking thousand dollars from Blaire without asking me!? How could you?!”
There was a pause, a brief moment where you could almost feel her shrug through the phone. “Oh my god, can you relax? It’s not like you can't afford it. It’s not that big of a deal, you can just easily pay for it with how big you’re making, it’s barely a scratch on your bank account!” You couldn’t believe what you were actually hearing.
“Not a big deal? Did you spend the money already? Do you have any fucking idea how humiliating it is for me that you did this without even consulting me? You think just because I make good money, I’ll fix every mess you create?” You were seething.
“Well, yeah,” she responded with a laugh, clearly not grasping the gravity of the situation. “You’re my older sister. Isn’t it your job to take care of me, right?”
Your grip on your phone tightened. “I’ve been taking care of you your whole life! I’m working myself to the bone just to make sure you have everything you need, sending you to that fancy school that you’ve always wanted so you can have a better future, and this is how you repay me? By lying and stealing?”
The silence on the other end of the line felt heavy, but your anger has not subsided. She mumbled something that sounded like a half assed apology, but it was already too late for that. You immediately hung up and slammed the phone down on the table, heart racing, pulse pounding in your ears. Anger still swirling inside you like a storm, the words of your sister still echoing in your mind. You can just easily pay for it with how big you’re making. Her carelessness, lack of respect—it hit harder than anything you had experienced before. It wasn’t about the money, you could handle the five thousand dollars easily, but the way she completely dismissed your hard work, as if it was nothing, as if your sacrifice and years of struggle meant nothing—that was what burned deep. It hurts like fucking hell.
You sat down there on the couch, trying to calm yourself down, tears started to prick at the corners of your eyes, but you blinked them back. You didn’t cry. You cannot cry. You have always been strong your whole life—the provider, carer, and protector. That’s who you were. No one had ever taken care of you, not since your parents passed away when you were fifteen and your sister is only ten. It has always been you, alone, against the world, and now, it felt like even your sister was against you.
You didn’t hear Oscar enter the living room until his voice, soft but firm, broke through the silence. “Hey, I heard you from our room. Are you okay?”
You swallowed hard, your body automatically stiffening instinctively and continued browsing through your documents like nothing happened.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry,” you lied, though the quiver in your voice betrayed you.
Oscar walked over and sat down beside you on the couch, his hand gently resting on your shoulder. “You don’t always have to be fine,” he said quietly. “Tell me, what happened?”
You exhaled sharply, your hands trembling as you ran them through your hair. “It’s my sister,” you muttered, trying to keep your voice steady. “She borrowed money from Blaire. Five thousand dollars. Without even telling me. Now, she’s acting like it’s my job to fix it.”
“Five thousand? That’s a lot.” Oscar frowned, his brows knitting in concern.
“I know,” you said, “she doesn’t even care. She just assumes I’ll take care of it, like I always do every time she gets into stupid situations. She thinks just because I earn good money, I’m supposed to fix everything.” Your voice cracked, and before you could stop it, the tears you had been holding back for so long finally broke free. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this, Oscar. I’m always the one fixing things, I’m always the one who has to be strong.”
Oscar didn’t say anything for a moment, he just stared at you, his eyes filled with understanding. Then, without a word, he pulled you into his arms. You tensed at first, still not used to being vulnerable, but Oscar’s embrace was warm, grounding. Slowly, your body relaxed into his, and the weight of the world seemed to lift just a little as you rested your head against his chest.
“It’s not fair,” you whispered to him. “I’ve always had to be the strong one. I’m tired, Oscar. I’m so fucking tired. I don’t know how much more I can take.”
His hand gently stroked your back, his voice soft and reassuring. “I know. It’s okay to be tired. You don’t have to be strong all the time. Not with me.”
You pulled back slightly to look at him, your eyes searching his face, “I just don’t know how to let anyone help me,” you admitted, voice barely audible. “I’ve been doing this for so long, I don’t know how to not be the one in control.”
“I get that. But you don’t have to do it all alone anymore. I’m here. Let me be strong for you, too.” Oscar smiled gently, brushing a tear from your cheek with his thumb.
For a moment, you didn’t know what to say. The idea of letting someone else carry even a fraction of the weight feels completely foreign to you. But as you looked at Oscar, his eyes full of sincerity, something inside you shifted. Maybe, it’s time you let it all fall down, you didn’t have to carry everything on your shoulders all the time.
“What am I supposed to do about her?” You asked, your voice small but steady now.
Oscar sighed softly, thinking for a moment. “You have all the right to be angry and upset. Your feelings are valid,” he said. “She needs to learn that actions have consequences. But at the same time, she’s your sister. She’s young, and sometimes young people tend to make mistakes. You’ve been doing everything for so long that she probably hasn’t learned how to take responsibility for herself yet.”
You nodded, wiping your eyes. “Yeah, maybe. But I can’t just let her think she can keep doing this.”
“No,” he agreed. “But you also don’t have to do this alone. We can figure it out together.”
You looked at him, really looked at him, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you weren’t alone. Maybe you didn’t always have to be the strong one, the provider, the protector. With Oscar by your side, you could learn how to let someone else carry the weight with you.
“Thank you,” you whispered, leaning into him once more. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Oscar smiled, pressing a soft tender kiss to your forehead. “You’ll never have to find out, I’m not going anywhere, my love.”
The next morning, you stared at the screen of your laptop, fingers moving quickly over the keys as you finished drafting the contract. The legal jargon was familiar, comforting even, but the fact that you had to use it against your own sister left a bitter taste in your mouth. The contract was firm, direct, and laid out the consequences clearly: five thousand dollars, to be repaid in installments, with interest and penalties if the deadline is missed. You hated doing it—your heart never felt so heavy—but you knew it was necessary. You had been too lenient for far too long, if she didn’t learn this now, she might never understand the true value of money and the responsibility that came with it. It was time for her to learn the hard truths you had known your entire life.
Oscar was sitting across the table, sipping his coffee, watching you in silence. “You’ve finished it?” He asked gently. You had told him last night that you need to straighten everything out, and told him your plan, in which he quickly supported you.
You nodded, eyes scanning the contract one last time before saving it. “Yeah. She’s not going to like it, but this has to be done.” You sighed, “I’ve been too lenient, too forgiving. I can’t keep cleaning up after her messes.”
“You’re doing the right thing.” He said as he reached over, placing his hand over yours. “It’s tough, but you’re teaching her a lesson she won’t forget.”
“I hope so,” you sighed, glancing out the window, the weight of responsibility pressing down on you once more. “I’ve never been one to ask for anything back, but she needs to learn that she can’t just treat me like this. I want her to be successful, but she can’t rely on me forever.”
Later that day, you booked a flight for her to Monaco, and notified her about the flight schedule. She was studying in Switzerland, and it would be a four hour flight from Switzerland to Monaco. It was time to have this conversation face-to-face. You couldn’t keep allowing her to avoid responsibility just because you were miles apart. This is a conversation that is long overdue.
A couple of days later, she arrived at your and Oscar’s shared apartment. She seemed different—more subdued, perhaps. You could tell the weight of your anger still lingered in her mind. She greeted you cautiously, her eyes flickering to Oscar, who stood nearby, his presence calm but protective.
“Sit down,” you said, pointing to the couch.
She looked at you, clearly trying to gauge your mood, but she did as she was told. You sat across from her, with Oscar by your side, and the freshly printed contract lying on the table between you. The tension in the living room was thick.
“I had already settled your debt with Blaire,” you began, your voice calm but firm. “But this conversation is not just about the money. It’s about respect, about responsibility.”
“I said I was sorry.” She crossed her arms, trying to play it cool.
“Sorry doesn’t fix this,” you snapped, your patience was already running thin, barely hanging on by a thread. “I have been providing for you because I want nothing but the best for you. But what you did was careless, and you disrespected everything I’ve done for you. You didn’t even ask me before borrowing that money, and then you just blatantly assumed I would handle it. You do this every time to me, you always get me into awkward and humiliating situations.”
She bit her lip, her attitude wavering. “I know, but you make so much—”
“That’s not the point!” You cut her off, about to lose your cool but Oscar had managed to calm you down by softly caressing your back. “Yes, I make good amount of money, but that money just doesn’t magically appear. I have worked hard, harder than you can imagine, to get to where I am. Do you want to know what’s worse? What’s worse is that you’re not even thinking about how hard it is to earn that money, how I burn myself off everyday. So I’m making you earn it back.” You slid the contract towards her.
“What’s this?” She looked down at it, then back at you, looking all confused.
“It’s an agreement,” you said. “I’ve decided to give you the five thousand dollars. Consider what you bought from that money as a gift, because I know you’ve been doing well in school, and it’s been a while since I’ve given you anything. But this will never happen again. You owe me that money, and you're going to pay it back. Every cent of it, with interest.” Her eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to protest, but you cut her off before she could even speak.
“This is not negotiable. I’m still going to support you, I’m still going to pay for your tuition, but you need to learn how hard it is to earn this kind of money. You’re going to work for it, and I'll expect proof—payslips, records—everything. If you miss a payment, there will be penalties added, and if you refuse or try to make a fool out of me, I’m not afraid to take legal action.”
“You’d sue me? Your own sister?” She stared at you in disbelief.
“Yes, I would,” you said coldly. “I don’t want to, but you’ve left me with no choice. You are already eighteen and will turn nineteen in two months, you are already capable of knowing what’s right and wrong. You need to understand that I’m not going to bail you out every time you mess up, this is your responsibility now.”
For a long moment, she didn’t say anything. Her face was a mix of shock and anger, but you could tell the gravity of the situation was already starting to sink in.
“I’m not trying to be harsh,” you said softly, leaning forward. “But I’ve been in your shoes, and I know firsthand how hard life can be. I have shielded you from that, and maybe that was my mistake. But if you’re going to succeed in this world, you need to understand that nothing is free, nothing in life is free. Everything comes with a cost.”
Oscar then leaned forward, gently placing a hand on your shoulder. “Look, we’re not doing this to hurt you,” he added, tone gentle but firm. “But this is a wake-up call. You need to understand how your sister has worked so hard, and how important it is that you start contributing. No one’s saying you have to do it alone, but you have to start doing something.”
Your sister’s eyes shifted between the two of you, and for a moment, you saw a flicker of guilt in her expression. She glanced back down at the contract, and you handed her a pen.
“Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll do it. I’ll pay you back.” Her attitude and defiance slowly faded from her face.
“Good.” You nodded, “then sign it.”
She hesitated for only a moment before scribbling her signature across the bottom of the contract. You felt a strange mixture of relief and sadness, knowing you had to be this tough, but also hoping it would be the turning point she needed.
“You can stay with us while you’re in Monaco,” you told her, “but I expect you to find a job as soon as possible. If you fail to keep up with your end of the deal, there will be consequences. Understood?”
“Understood.” She nodded, though her expression was still a mix of resentment and defeat.
You exhaled, feeling a small sense of relief wash over you. This wasn’t easy, and you hated having to be this strict with her, but it had to be done. Oscar wrapped his arm around you, his touch grounding as soon as you watched your sister head towards the guest room.
“You did the right thing,” he said quietly.
“I hope so,” you whispered, leaning into him. “I just want her to grow up.”
“Don’t worry, she will.” Oscar assured you, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your head. “With you as her sister, she doesn’t have much of a choice,”
Later that evening, the apartment finally fell quiet, dinner was definitely awkward and quiet, but with your sister already tucked away in the guest room, the weight of everything you had said and done began to settle in. You were sitting at the edge of the bed, heart heavy and mind replaying what had happened earlier over and over. The way your sister had looked at you—hurt and angry—it cut deeper that you were willing to admit.
You had always been strong, but this strength had come with a cost. Now, sitting in the stillness of the night, the reality of your actions hit you like a tidal wave. It wasn’t just the contract or the money, it was the fear—the fear that in trying to teach her a lesson, you might have pushed her too far. That in being the disciplinarian, you had damaged something that might never fully recover or heal.
Oscar entered the room quietly, sensing the shift in your mood. He sat beside you, his presence had always been comforting, but it wasn’t enough to stop the flood of emotions you had been holding back.
“Was I too harsh, Osc?” You whispered, voice barely audible.
He frowned slightly, tilting his head to look at you. “No, you weren’t. She needed to hear all of it.”
“I know,” you replied, voice trembling. “But what if I lose her because of this? What if she hates me for it?”
You felt your tears welling up again, but this time you couldn’t stop them anymore. They spilled down your cheeks, unchecked, as you finally let go of the tension and frustration you had been carrying.
“I’m not being harsh to punish her, I just want her to understand how hard life is, how much I’ve sacrificed. But what if all she sees is me being cruel?”
Oscar pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you as you broke down. You rested your head on his chest, sobs coming in waves, guilt and fear crashing over you. You had always been strong for so long—too long—and now, it felt like everything was unraveling.
“She’s my baby sister,” you choked out between sobs. “I don’t want to lose her. But I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want her to think I’m just some heartless person who only cares about money.”
Oscad held you tighter, his voice calm and steady as he spoke. “She won’t hate you. Not forever. She’s upset now, sure. But she’s young, and right now, she probably doesn’t understand why you’re doing this. But she will, trust me. One day, she’ll look back at it and realize that you did this because you love her.”
You shook your head, your chest tightening with the weight of your emotions. “I feel like I’m always the one who has to be the bad guy. I never get to be the one who’s just there for her, to support her without judgment.”
Oscar stroked your hair gently, his voice soothing. “You’ve done more for her than anyone else ever could. You’ve given her everything. You’re not the bad guy, you’re her protector, even when it means being tough on her. Yeah, maybe this will cause a rift for now, but it won’t last. She’ll come around, she’ll see that you’re doing this because you care.”
You pulled away slightly, wiping at your tear-streaked face. “What if she doesn’t?”
“She will,” Oscar said firmly. “But even if it takes time, you can’t keep beating yourself up for doing what’s right. You’re teaching her a lesson that no one else will. You’re giving her the tools to grow up, to be responsible. Sometimes, that means being tough. That’s tough love.”
You nodded, but the guilt still gnawed at you. “I just wish I didn’t have to be this person all the time. The one who fixes things, who keeps everyone in line.”
“I know. But you’re not doing this alone anymore, okay? I’m here. Whenever it feels like it’s too much, rest on me. You can always rest on me.”
You leaned into him again, his warmth easing the ache that you’re feeling inside of you. “I just hope she understands someday,” you whispered.
“She will,” Oscar said softly, kissing the top of your head. “And until then, you’ve done what you needed to do. You’ve set her on the right path, and that’s what matters.”
As the tears slowly subsided, you felt a flicker of hope, knowing that even though this was hard, it was necessary. Even if your sister doesn't see it now, you could only hope that one day, she would understand that everything you did was out of love.
The weight on your shoulders became a little lighter, knowing that Oscar was right. Even if it took time, even if there were still battles to fight, you knew you weren’t facing them alone anymore, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to breathe. You had done what needed to be done. Now it was up to your sister to follow through.
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notherpuppet · 7 months ago
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hazbin race talk (kinda uncomfy but said w/ love!)
When it comes to human iterations of the hazbin characters, my decision making when it comes to race is usually dependent on canon/semi-canon info and voice actors.
Many of the demons in the show can have pretty "race-blind" casting because their characters don't necessarily have racial ties to their background. There are some characters who do have clear ties to an ethnicity and/or viv has overtly stated so, such as Vaggie (Latina), Angel Dust (Italian), and Alastor (Creole). Some of these may no longer even be canon since the show started. As for their race, their skin tone is still pretty open interpretation for artists because canon reference just does not exist (yet? maybe ever?).
As for other characters, such as Husk, Niffty, Charlie, Sir Pentious, etc. I feel that those characters have a pretty ambiguous background, open to interpretation by artists who are depicting their human forms. I depict Husk as Black because I watch the American version where his voice actor is Black. I depict Niffty as Japanese (when I do draw her human form) because Niffty's voice actress is Japanese. The Hazbin pilot did not have the same voice actors as the ones for the show, and internationally, that's not the case either. And the voice actors are usually just one direction I might take, I don't hold myself to that option as a rule.
Like, idek if I would depict Sir Pentious as White because his voice actor is a White American, I may consider his British background and honestly the fact that he is dark demon into play. I think that's where "casting" the human forms can be very open to interpretation for certain characters.
I think something that is really cool about the show is that there are opportunities to cast a character as whomever. (I think of Little Mermaid 2023). There are times where a character's race is integral to their background, and other times where it is not so explicit. When it is not explicit, I think it's okay for an artist to interpret a different design. I don't think it should be assumed that it is erasure or tokenism (though I do empathize with that reaction as someone who craves certain representation).
I personally love seeing a diverse cast, so I like incorporating that in my design choices! But I don't think someone is 'wrong' for having a different interpretation of a character. It's okay to not like a direction someone may take, but I don't think that means they're wrong and if you don't like it, idk, you can always just close your eyes or scroll lol.
My two cents.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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earlysunshines · 6 months ago
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you always had me (and you’re always shining)
danielle marsh x fem!reader ; fluff, pining, slowburn
synopsis: danielle has been there for your ups and downs, knowing her for so long and debuting with her makes you fall deeper and deeper—whether you like it or not.
warnings: sixth member reader ; readers a few months younger than dani ; pining and yeah i… love pining ; sloooow burn ; TOOTHrotting fluff like all your teeth will fall out prob and also angst (if u squint hard) ; they’re in love i fear, like sooo in love ; minji literally watches the whole thing unfold and doesn't say anything ; reader's native language is english ; some other implied things that will make sense it's just story buidling/backstory LOL ; barely proofread
a/n: this is a loooong one i hope u all enjoy :-] i enjoyed writing every bit and I was smiling the whole way, I hope you all smile reading this too.
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being an idol is anything but easy, and that’s very palpable as you lie on the ground, sweaty and exhausted, in the practice room.
minji had watched the whole thing; right after the last session of the ditto choreo, you had walked over to the corner of the room, sat down, and ended up flat on your back. seeing you like this made her laugh.
regardless, you loved your job. music was your passion, and dancing brought joy to your heart. the journey to becoming an idol prepared you for the intense performances and demanding physical routines, but it didn't prepare you for how your heart would race each time a certain member interacted with you—just like she’s doing now.
danielle waits until you take your forearm off your forehead, watching you blink twice when she’s in your field of vision.
she greets you warmly. “hi stranger.”
“dani.” just the sight of her makes you smile. “hey.”
“you okay? minji wanted me to check on you.”
“tired, that’s all.”
“you should drink water then, sweetheart.” 
you hated when she called you these stupid pet names—not because it made you uncomfortable or anything, but because it made your heart nearly jump out of your chest. 
“want me to get you some?” she asks, her voice gentle yet playful.
“i can do it myself, thanks.” you respond, getting up without looking back at her—danielle frowns.
she watches you walk over to get water for yourself, slightly hunched over with your hand propping you up at the counter. she sees you stare down at the table between sips, seemingly lost in your own world, and it’s a tad bit concerning. sure, you’re quiet, but never this quiet or distant. you even practiced during the breaks, not giving yourself one and pretty much defeating the whole purpose of a break. everyone had noticed, but danielle had been much more worried.
danielle goes over to minji, who’s stretching and humming as the younger one is in her peripheral. she sits down next to the oldest member and continues to look at you, now you’re leaning against the wall sipping on the cup, and then letting it hang loose in your hand as you stare into the distance.
“minji, is y/n alright? she’s been so out of it today and the last time we had practice.”
minji looks in your direction and shakes her head. “no idea, i noticed it too. i thought you would’ve known.”
“i don’t. i’m just worried.”
“you want me to talk to her?” minji suggests, “but you’re closer with her, aren’t you?”
the younger member continues to look your way, watching haerin tap your shoulder and making you jump a bit from being startled. haerin turns to face you, her lips moving with some quiet words danielle can’t quite catch. you wave her off with a reassuring smile and a thumbs up, then head to a corner to stretch, finding your own space.
“yeah, she’s just been distant these past few days. minji, i don’t know what to do.”
“pry her open, she’s got a tough exterior you know.”
“she’s always been like that.” danielle sighs, continuing to stretch.
it’s well known that you’re quite reserved, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t bold, outgoing, or unwilling to talk to your members. all of them see you as a pillar and light in the group, a source of strength and joy. even further, there’s compilations of you online making the members laugh and being an idiot, you’re a joy to your fans and the people close to you. but there are times when you close yourself off and become unusually quiet. it’s not like haerin’s nature, being quiet and all; instead, it’s a concerning silence that signals something is off. danielle, in particular, has a keen sense for these moments, always noticing when you retreat into yourself and sensing that something is bothering you.
she’s always been able to find a way to help you out and talk to her a bit, you’ve had a soft spot for her and it’s evident to everyone in your group. you rarely speak on your problems; the fact that danielle can get you to utter a sentence regarding what bothers you is astonishing itself.
you’ve known danielle for as long as you’ve been a trainee since she’s been there longer. she’s always been incredibly kind and patient with you, especially during those initial days when you were adjusting to being away from your grandparents who raised you. being in a place so completely different from what you were used to was challenging, but danielle’s presence was a comforting constant. 
the bond that you two had only grew with time and experience, and the fact that you two had so many similarities (one being the year you were born) only strengthened it. danielle, without a doubt, was the one person who could ground you. because of this, she’s going to make it her priority to find out what’s up with you.
when practice ends and everyone is free to go back to the dorms, danielle approaches you and grabs your hand, making you turn to face her with a raised brow.
“yes?”
“let’s grab lunch y/n, the rest of us are going to.”
“oh, i’m not really feeling it, sorry.” you apologize, feeling bad when the member holding your hand frowns. “i think i’ll just eat later, i’m not hungry. could you buy me something though?”
she lets out a small huff. “what’s going on?” 
you tilt your head like haerin always does and hum in confusion. “what do you mean?”
“something is bothering you.”
“no, i’m just tired. can’t you see the eyebags? seriously, i’m so sleepy…” you try to mask what you feel with a lighthearted chuckle, but danielle can hear the lie in your words. she wants to be angry at you for lying, but she knows you can’t help it. lying about what you feel is like breathing to you. “grab me a rice bowl?”
she lets go of your hand and it almost urges you to spill pent-up emotions, but you won’t give in that easily. sure, her pretty face and caring self make you fold most of the time, but not in this case.
“alright y/n.” danielle sighs. “can we talk tonight? if you’re feeling like you want to. i hate seeing you so out of it.”
you pause, looking at her with slumped shoulders before biting your lip. 
“thank you, light.”
danielle has many nicknames and things people like to call her. one of her favorites—if not her absolute favorite—has always been dani, at least until you let a special nickname slip off your lips not too long ago, one that made her cheeks warm and brought a shy smile to her face.
“light?” she asks, looking at you like you’re stupid – in an admirable, adorable way of course.
you shrug. “sunshine is used too much by bunnies and the other members, light is much more unique and special to me. you’re special to me so i wanted something special. you don’t like it?”
danielle loves it the moment she hears you say it.
it's late, and while the rest of the members are fast asleep, you and danielle find yourselves unable to drift off. instinctively, you both end up in your room, lying on the bed. danielle’s head rests comfortably on your stomach as you explain the spontaneous, out-of-nowhere nickname you came up with for her a few months after your debut. she can't tell if the room is too hot and you need to start using your fan (you really do, danielle doesn’t understand how you survive without turning on that fan in these hot dorms), or if it's just because you've just called her something that makes her feel truly special.
her heart flutters. “i like it a lot. how’d you think of it?”
you start humming to yourself as you think. “i mean, you’re like sunshine, the sun. you know, you’re very bright and lights are bright too so…”
“that’s cute.” you’re cute, danielle might explode right there and right now, ‘cute’ is not capturing how much she adores it. “you’re creative.”
“i’m not.”
“you look down on yourself too much.” danielle retorts as she gets up to lay down next to you. her face is turned to gaze at your features. “seriously.”
“or maybe you just look up to me too much.”
“well you need to shrink. anyway, i think my statement is factual and yours is false.”
“you really want to debate right now?”
“i don’t need to, i’m right.” danielle smirks at you and you roll your eyes.
you turn on your side and she mirrors you, the mood of the room shifts, the air seems warmer – maybe you should turn that fan on.
danielle lets out a small yawn, her blinking slowing down as her eyelids grow heavy. you giggle quietly, then pull the blanket over the two of you, taking a moment to admire her. she looks peaceful and beautiful, more so than anyone or anything you've ever seen.
you reach over to fix the blanket sitting on her figure. “i take it you’re staying here tonight?”
she nods sleepily.
“okay.”
danielle knocks on your door, and before you can answer she lets herself in. she’s always done this, it’s amusing.
(and really, she knows you’ll let her in anyway. you’ve never once declined.)
she spots you lying in bed, your face hidden under the plaid blanket your grandma had shipped from your home. danielle knows it’s one of your most prized possessions, she can tell that it’s especially important as you cling onto it.
“the rice bowl is in the fridge, you should eat.”
“i’ll eat later dani.”
she frowns at you, watching you lay there and face the window in your room.
your favorite playlist fills the silence in the room, the one hanni contributed half of when you two were feeling emotional in the middle of the night and sharing sappy songs that made your hearts melt. it’s a bit concerning that this playlist is also what you listen to when you’re sulking, given that it’s filled with half of daniel caesar’s discography and slow love songs (happy and sad, but you still manage to sulk when it’s something to swoon over). 
you and hanni have such similar tastes in music; it’s almost dangerous how in sync you are when it comes to the songs that tug at your heartstrings.
danielle shuts the door slowly before making her way over to you. she sits beside you, rubbing your shoulder through the material of your blanket.
“hey sleepy, you’ll feel terrible if you don’t eat.” she squeezes you lightly, making you groan quietly. “the others are worried too, i told them you took a nap.”
“tell them i’m sleeping in.” you mumble, covering yourself in the blanket more. “thanks dani.”
she sighs and moves over so her lips hover above your ear. “y/n, you can’t stay like this. we’ve talked about this before, it’s not good to keep things in; you’ll explode.”
“it’s nothing, please danielle.”
“sweetheart,” her voice makes you all tingly. “please?”
you finally give in after she slides her hand down to your back, rubbing it comfortingly. with a deep breath, you slowly sit up and lean against the wall behind you. danielle’s eyes are filled with a tender, eager sparkle, her bottom lip jutting out slightly as she watches you, ready to listen to every word. 
the room feels warmer, the closeness between you making the moment intimate and heartfelt.
“the comeback is a little stressful, but i’ve managed of course.” she nods as you explain, giving you her undivided attention. “and my grandma recently got surgery, i found out two days ago and i’ve just been worried sick. the thought of her without me there to help her out makes me sick. i know my grandpa is there to help her out but– i’ve just always been there for them. now i can’t, and i can’t disappoint them either.”
you've never been much of a crier; the members have seen you cry maybe two or three times. but when danielle’s features soften and she immediately reaches over to engulf you in a hug that you could drown in, tears start to well in your eyes. you manage to hold them back, but the overwhelming comfort and warmth she offers makes it difficult.
“and you know the whole thing with my family after i took the trainee route, my grandparents are the only ones who are really fond of me and i– i’m just really… thrown off right now.
“i’m sorry to hear that, really.” she mumbles near your neck, mostly into your hair.  her embrace feels like a safe haven, a place where you can let go of your worries, even if just for a moment. you start to think that everything will be fine. “you’re not letting down anyone, just you existing makes your grandparents proud. i know it. and, i know i’ve only met your grandma briefly, but she’s such a strong woman from what i’ve seen, seriously. i trust that she’ll be fine, but would she be fine if she knew you were stressing?”
you shake your head – danielle has a point.
“i- i guess not.”
“well, i think her recovery would go much better knowing the woman she loves most is doing her best and doing alright.”
danielle’s right, she’s so right it really does ground you. you wrap your arms around her and hug back tightly, letting your worries flow away.
“thank you.”
“mhm.” she hums softly, then pulls away to gaze at you, placing her hands on your shoulders. “you should eat, let’s eat together.”
“you haven’t eaten yet?”
“a little, but i couldn’t eat a lot knowing you hadn’t.”
maybe you should’ve eaten, you should’ve because danielle isn’t satisfied. her stomach is most likely nowhere near half full. you quickly get up and grab her hand, dragging her out your room after hearing the new information.
“i can’t have you hungry dani.”
-
minji is happy to see your spark back, seeing you so enthusiastic and performing so well during practices makes her happy. 
this time, your practice is being recorded. you're all jumpy and giddy as you play around with hyein, teasing her in between breaks, but you manage to stay focused and excel as you run through the choreography. the camera captures you tease hanni, you make fun of the three-inch height difference between you two while she pouts and chases you around. even haerin joins in, watching you run around while you grin at the shortest member. the practice room buzzes with laughter and energy, your lighthearted teasing making the grueling session more enjoyable for everyone.
danielle and minji watch from afar, well, it’s mostly danielle who’s watching – admiring.
minji sees something special in her gaze, a sort of longing. a smile makes its way to danielle's lips, and minji watches the way danielle softens. the camera captures the same sight minji is seeing, though in much lower quality. the tender moment is evident even through the grainy footage, highlighting something much more complex between danielle and the object of her affection: you.
minji judges the younger member. “seems like you got her back on her feet.”
“hm?” danielle says, flinching slightly after being startled. “oh, yeah. she’s definitely feeling better, i’m really glad.”
“you two have something special, hm?”
“what do you mean?” 
minji looks back at you. you’ve given up, and hanni is now dragging you to the ground, both of you laughing as hyein records the whole thing. minji then glances at danielle. the younger australian member finds herself giggling unknowingly as she watches the whole scene unfold, her eyes twinkling with amusement and something softer, something that betrays the ‘platonic’ aspect in the fondness she holds for you.
minji shakes her head. “nothing. let’s get back to work.”
-
“hi everyone, i’m with y/n!” minji greets the livestream, looking at herself in the screen and fixing her hair. “say hi.”
you sit down next to her and fix the cap on your head, waving at the phone and smiling. “hi everyone, it’s been a while since i’ve made an appearance, huh?”
minji looks at you and scoffs. “you were on danielle’s live last week, and on her little voice message for a moment.”
you giggle and shake your head, putting up your hands to make a little ‘x’ sign with your fingers. 
“sounds like someone’s a fan of miss marsh, stalking her phoning activity…”
“bro, you are literally apart of her content a third of the time.”
“are you jealous kim minji?”
“of what, danielle being all over you? count me out…”
you giggle and continue on with the live. the two of you talk about the upcoming ‘making jeans,’ reminiscing and laughing over the countless memories you shared during the process of filming the music video.
of course, you tend to mention danielle often, complimenting her looks in each outfit and scene you all shot, the memories of mainly the two of you during the whole filming process. minji listens carefully as you ramble, narrowing her eyes each time the name ‘danielle’ is brought up. she lets you ramble, of course; she'd be something not too short of awful if she were to cut you off from gushing about your fellow member. 
there’s a sparkle in your eyes like fireworks going off as minji watches you. your smile is wide and genuine, your hands animatedly emphasizing every detail of whatever topic you're discussing, and without fail, danielle is woven into the narrative. the slight tint of pink on your cheeks doesn’t escape minji’s notice; it hints at something deeper than simple admiration.
the conversation shifts away from danielle and onto your other members, particularly how you and minji managed to cook a five-course meal for the rest of the group. questions flow and are answered promptly, and as the live stream reaches its fifty-minute mark, minji decides it's time to wrap up. 
once she ends the stream, you turn to her and give a thumbs up. “that was fun, lets do more of these.”
“you talked about danielle for a fifth of the live, y/n.”
“sorry…” you mumble, “i just remembered a lot of things from the shoot.”
you remembered danielle from the shoot that’s for sure. 
minji waves her hand and says, “it’s not a bad thing that you did…”
“of course not, danielle is lovely.”
to you? more than just lovely i bet. minji thinks, rolling her eyes before she flicks the cap off your head. you make some strange noise and it makes the older member chuckle.
“let’s get some rest, thanks for joining me.”
“yeah, anytime.” you wink at her before getting up and waving, walking out the door with a grin on your lips.
minji finds herself leaning against her bedframe, reflecting on everything she’s observed over the past two weeks—and honestly, over the years. 
the whole livestream with you has her pondering now; even as trainees, you and minji had always been close and supportive of each other. however, minji had always noticed something distinct in the dynamics between you and danielle. while all four of you—minji, hanni, danielle, and yourself—spoke english, there was an undeniable uniqueness in the connection, the exchanged glances, the subtle cues, and the way you and danielle interacted.
she collapses onto her bed and grabs her phone, concentrating hard as she clicks on the 'youtube' icon and goes to the search bar. biting the inside of her lip, she types 'newjeans danielle and y/n,' feeling a little awkward, as if she’s doing something a fan would do. she shakes her head to dispel the feeling, focusing on the recommended searches that follow:
"newjeans danielle and y/n moments" "danielle and y/n cute interactions" "newjeans y/n looking at danielle" "danielle and y/n chemistry compilation"
minji clicks on the first result, curiosity piqued, then clicks on the first video that pops up. the video is a compilation of moments between you and danielle, set to a soft, romantic song. as the montage begins, she sees clip after clip of the two of you laughing together, eyes sparkling with unspoken understanding. secret glances are exchanged, your smiles growing wider with every shared look. inside jokes flow effortlessly, creating a tempo only the two of you seem to follow. 
minji watches as the moments play out, each one reinforcing the undeniable bond between you and danielle. most of these clips could be played out as touchy, close friend moments, but some cannot be brushed off as that at all.
there’s a clip that plays, and minji cringes a little when she sees herself pop up on screen, talking about how she feels before a stage. the focus then shifts, zooming in on the background where danielle is leaning against your shoulder, eyes closed. minji watches as you turn to look at danielle lovingly, a soft smile playing on your lips before you look back at the makeup artist fixing your blush. 
another clip that makes minji's brows furrow also sparks a memory in her head. in the clip, you jump at minji, placing both hands on her shoulders as you lift yourself up from the ground. when you land back down, you hug the older member and laugh with her, happy that you've managed to scare her. what minji never noticed before now plays in the video: danielle is in the distance, the footage edited to zoom in on her. she's watching the whole scene, and as soon as your arms wrap around minji, danielle's gaze turns slightly more serious. danielle bites half of her lip and clenches her jaw, clearly a little bothered by it.
that’s not like her at all.
minji skips the video and finds the most replayed moment, her eyes widening at how oblivious she had been to you two. have the other members noticed as well? the question rings throughout minji’s head, the others have to have had a small hunch. then again, danielle is affectionate, and you are too at times, so maybe it wouldn’t be unbelievable for them to be blind to whatever you and her have going on. 
you and danielle are shooting for the photobooks, taking your duo pictures. minji watches as danielle takes this opportunity to be touchy as ever, her hands never leaving you as you both pose. her hand ends up on your forearm, shoulders, and even the back of your neck. she's flirting with you the whole time too, mostly to earn genuine smiles and laughs for the camera, but also because she enjoys it and means it – minji assumes. even as you two pose with hanni added, danielle still keeps her hand on you at all times, not wanting to leave you be. and when the camera pans to her hand sliding to your waist and rubbing it just barely, minji freezes.
each moment feels charged with a depth she hadn't fully grasped before. even she hasn’t noticed half of what was clipped.
the comments are filled with fans gushing over your interactions:
"i swear they have the best chemistry!" "look at how danielle looks at y/n! my heart can't take it." "they are so cute together! #dany/n" “are they dating? i’m new to this group. ↪️”not officially, but from their interactions it seems like it could be true.” ↪️”there has to be something though, most likely they are.” ↪️”hey, let’s not assume things. we don’t know what goes on behind cameras and they’re probably just really close friends!”
minji sighs, a mix of amusement and concern flooding her. she knew you two were close, but this compilation and the fan reactions make it clear just how much your bond stands out. sure, danielle and haerin had some of their own moments (mainly because haerin, but this? this is something.
 she scrolls through a few more videos, each one reinforcing what she's just realized. 
"oh my fucking god," minji murmurs, the weight of understanding settling in as she processes everything: you think danielle shines brighter than the sun.
you talk about her like she is your sun, and danielle looks at you like you’re her moon.
and minji? she's caught in the midst of your oblivious pining, realizing she occupies the role of the stars, planets, and everything in between.
-
“hanni.”
the younger member jumps at the sound of minji barging into her room at 12 in the morning, looking at her like she’s crazy.
“the hell man? at least knock–”
“you and danielle, you’re both very similar, very close too, i know that.”
“of course i’m close with dani, what the hell are you–”
“you’re close with y/n too, yeah?”
“i’m close with everyone including you minji, what kind of interrogation is this?”
minji flops onto hanni’s bed and stares up into the ceiling like she’s just worked a 9-5 with no break in between. the younger member walks over to close the door of her room, then sits back down to assess whatever is happening. 
“seriously,” hanni begins, “what’s up?”
“are dani and y/n dating? like are they together? like girlfriends, like– romantic?”
hanni giggles, making minji turn her head to give hanni a good look of the confused expression she has on. “what? no…? they’re just really flirty minji, i thought we knew this.”
“okay well i just went live with y/n and she was rambling and gushing about dani for a solid fifteen minutes. hanni, that live was almost an hour.”
“oh.” hanni simply responds, going silent.
“have you noticed something between them? or am i going crazy…”
the room is silent for a while, and minji lets it stay that way, giving hanni time to process her thoughts. hanni starts to really think about her other two members. minji has a point: you and danielle are close, and your demeanor changes noticeably when danielle is involved. she also recalls the time when she and danielle had gone out together, only for danielle to talk about you a good chunk of the time. it doesn’t help that danielle’s lock screen consists of two rotating pictures: one being a group photo and the other being you holding a kitten.
danielle and hanni spend a lot of time together, and now that hanni fully analyzes all those moments, she realizes that a significant portion of their conversations revolves around you. it’s almost as if you were there with them. danielle also looks at you differently, more lovingly, compared to the way she looks at the other members. when she flirts, it’s also different – more genuine, more meaningful. hanni had always been too distracted by how flirty and stupid danielle was to notice the blush on both your faces during those flirtatious moments. now, everything starts to make sense.
“okay wait yeah,” hanni bites the side of her finger. “i guess? but danielles really loving and sweet.”
“but much more with y/n, right?” minji sounds like she’s trying to convince herself too. “oh my god this is so embarrassing but i went on youtube…”
“don’t tell me you–”
minji puts a hand in the air, closing her eyes embarrassingly. “it was for research.”
“research on your friends?”
“stop! you need to see the video too, i didn’t even notice this shit.” 
hanni sighs, letting minji scoot next to her and play a video titled ‘danielle and y/n moments that could make the cut in a romance drama.’ the younger member eyes minji after reading the title, minji just puts a finger to her lips and presses play.
“i can’t believe you’re making me watch this, am i a bunny or what?”
“just watch.”
minji is older and hanni does not have anything better to do at this hour of the night, so she keeps her eyes glued on the screen.
the younger woman goes through every single emotion that minji has with each second passing by. her brows crease, her hand hovers over her mouth in shock, and she almost squeals during some clips – minji nudges her teasingly. when the video ends hanni sits there staring at the phone dead silent. 
“well?”
“that was edited very well.”
the older member pushes the younger one and rolls her eyes. “shut up. are you picking up what i’m putting down?”
“yeah, no, oh my god it’s real.”
“but they’re not dating…” minji thinks to herself, pinching the bridge of her nose. “wait, are they… do they even like girls?”
“oh yeah, danielle mentioned it like, twice, but she thinks it’s not a big deal. but yeah, she likes girls. i think y/n mentioned it once too, they’re both just not open about it i guess?”
minji clicks her tongue. “so they’re probably in love and pining, they’re oblivious.”
“what do we even do with this information?” hanni asks. 
they both ponder the possible outcomes, weighing the positive and negative consequences of you and danielle becoming a couple or continuing to pine for each other. if you two stayed in the limbo of unspoken looks, flirting, and loving gestures, the status quo would remain, but it might cause tension. on the other hand, if you two became a thing and eventually broke up, it could create a rocky dynamic within the group. 
however, minji knows you well. you’re mature and have been through a lot, so she believes you’d be able to handle it professionally. danielle, on the other hand, might struggle more with the fallout. but if the relationship lasted, it would bring happiness and joy, despite the challenges of dating as an idol and concealing so much. the two of you would be happy – you’re already happy as is to be part of the group and know each other – and so would the other members. 
the thought of this potential happiness brings a soft smile to minji’s face as she considers the best path forward for everyone involved.
minji leans into hanni’s pillow and closes her eyes – she looks like an overworked therapist. “we shouldn’t intervene.”
“let things flow naturally?”
“yeah, but with the knowledge that they’re in love i guess.”
“so it’s actually like an angsty, intense romance drama.”
“they’re our friends idiot… more like a romcom, it’s not that bad.”
the two laugh and decide to call it a night, promising to run to each other with information and thoughts on every single thing that happens to the two of you.
(they can still be fans of the two of you despite being part of the group itself, and that as a guilty pleasure isn’t the worst thing in the world.)
-
your birthday falls right before the break you have, just a few promotions to get through and you’re set.
unfortunately, you’re not able to see your grandparents during the first week of your vacation since they’ve had a few complications with flights and their work. however, they’ll be coming to visit you in the second week, staying a little longer despite you having to work. because of this, you'll have plenty of time to spend with them and show them around seoul. 
plus, they’ll get to meet your members, and you can already envision how much they’ll baby and spoil everyone. the thought of your grandparents showering your friends with affection, gifts, and really just their love and charm brings a smile to your face, and you can’t wait for them to experience the warmth and love you’ve always cherished. 
every birthday for each member includes a special livestream, and today, it’s your turn. 
despite it being your birthday, a heavy feeling of sadness lingers, overshadowing the excitement as you all set up. you should be happy, and you are with the members around you by your side on your day, but you’re still not completely you the absence of danielle gnaws at your heart. everyone except her surrounds you, and you try to mask how terrible you feel without her presence as you prepare for the broadcast. she apparently had something very important in her schedule that would last until the late evening, leaving you to celebrate without her.
[danielle] im so sorry i can’t be there for you ☹️ i wanted to be there but they’ve shoved this into my schedule since the break is soon im so sorry sweetheart i’ll make it up to you as best as i can, promise i love you, i’m sorry i’m so so so sorry
you remember seeing danielle's messages two hours after noon. the instant you read them, your shoulders dropped, your smile faded, and all the excitement drained from your body. those texts still haunt you, a constant reminder of her absence on a day you wanted her by your side the most.
[y/n] it’s okay, don’t worry about it.
you put on your best facade, greeting the viewers with a joyful, upbeat tone, but the rest of the members can see through it. the light in your eyes is dimmed, your smile not as genuine as usual. hyein notices and rubs your hand under the table, offering silent support, trying to lift your spirits on your special day. the others chime in with their own attempts to cheer you up, but the void left by danielle’s absence is hard to fill.
you force a smile. “i’m surrounded by most of my members! i’m very happy to be with them on my special day.”
hyein puts her arm around your shoulder and squeezes you close to hug you from the side, making you giggle. “she’s getting older and older and older… please wish her a long life everyone.”
“hey! i’m not that old…”
“if y/n is old then what am i?” minji questions, quirking a brow at the youngest.
“ancient.”
“hey!”
your members start to bicker playfully, and it washes away a good amount of your worries. the smile on your face stays, though it falters now and then. despite the sadness lurking in the background, you're grateful to be surrounded by those who have supported you. their presence and antics bring some light to your birthday, helping you feel a bit more at ease.
hanni suddenly grips your shoulders, making you jump. “okay~ time for the birthday girls’ gifts!”
she makes you giggle, then moves out of frame to grab a wrapped box. she hands it to you – not without accidentally hitting your head, making you and the members gasp and chuckle – then lets you examine the exterior.
“you’ll love it man.” you roll her eyes at her confident tone.
everyone watches you unwrap the gift, hyein snorts as she watches you struggle to open the box up, having to find a pen to stab it and rip the seal. there are a few things inside, but you grab the larger item out and gasp when you see it. 
“hanni you’re– oh my god.” you gaze at the signed daniel caesar vinyl in your hands, mouth wide open. “hanni.”
“yes?”
you stand up immediately to hug her tight, engulfing her in your arms as you sway in place. “thank you so much.”
she rubs your back and hugs you back with the same energy. “seems like my present will be hard to beat, that so?”
you pull away and scoff playfully, sitting back down to inspect whatever else is inside the box. “don’t make it a competition!”
the rest of the live continues, most of your sorrow completely lifted after opening each present. minji gives you a cap with your name on it, along with a necklace you had been eyeing for months, some stationary, and your favorite candies from back home. you marvel at how she managed to get a bag of your favorite sweets, but she just shrugs with a smirk plastered on her face, clearly enjoying the mystery.
haerin’s gift is thoughtful and cute. you ‘re given three different koala keychains (your representative and favorite animal), a cat shirt, a new ds game, and blue light glasses. haerin is attentive to everything, but it still surprised you that she remembered you were missing the ‘y’ version of your favorite pokemon game – and your glasses that you had bought a month ago. she also hands you a letter, it’s full of words that will probably make you tear up later, so you decide to tuck it away for the time being.
hyein gifts you something that makes you laugh until you're leaning against her, nearly crying. her bag contains new earrings that match your style perfectly and your favorite disney movie on dvd. the real kicker, though, is an oversized shirt featuring a popular baby picture of you photoshopped boldly on the front. in the picture, your six-year-old self is sleeping with your head turned uncomfortably and drool seeping from the corner of your lips. the sloppy masking of the image only adds to how hilarious it is, making hanni and minji hold onto each other as they cackle, while haerin has to move out of frame to hide her amusement. 
“how did you even get this made?” you ask the youngest member, still clinging onto her and laughing in between words. “oh my god, this is insane.”
“do you like it?”
“i love it hyeinie.” you press a short peck to the top of her head, then pat down her hair. “it’s wonderful.”
she’s smiling brightly, happy that you’re not as sad as before and that you love her gift. hyein has always been full of love and care.
you begin to organize the presents again, looking back at all of them and feeling like the luckiest, happiest girl in the world. after hugging all of your members again, nearly crushing them from how grateful you are.
haerin then brings your cake back in frame, tugging on your sleeve to grab your attention. 
 you clap your hands. “ah! yes, let’s blow the candle.”
it’s really simple, mundane, and everyone does it – blowing a cake and all, despite yours not being edible – but it makes your cheeks hurt from how much you smile. everyone enthusiastically sings ‘happy birthday’ and you sit there like a child all giddy. once they’re all done, you close your eyes and clasp your hands, making a silent wish in your head.
most of the wishes are simply you wishing for your grandparents to be well and healthy, and you wished the same for your members. you also wished for one more thing, something on a whim, but it would make you even happier than you are right now.
i wish danielle were here.
you silently go over each wish again, unaware of hanni opening the door behind you, someone walking in silently and quickly rushing over to stand behind you. 
opening your eyes, you grin and blow the candles out, then jump and shout in surprise when you feeling someone’s arms around you and their body pressed against you from behind.
danielles scent is recognizable, and so is her voice, heavy with accent. “happy birthday!”
you turn around in surprise, looking up at her with wide eyes and your jaw dropped. she moves her hand to the crook of your neck, the other resting on your shoulder as she looks at your expression.
“dani? you– you said you couldn’t–”
“i’m sorry, i had to pick up your present and surprise you. was it too harsh?”
you felt you heart break into pieces when you had received her texts, but still answer, “no, absolutely not.”
she hugs you again and you sink into her embrace. minji and hanni exchange knowing glances, hyein and haerin just smile at how sweet the moment it is. 
you end the live shortly after, with danielle explaining to the viewers that her present for you is something very special that she needs to show off-camera. the group continues chatting about you and your birthday, with haerin snickering at hyein’s remarks. danielle stays where she is, standing behind your chair with her arms around you, her fingers grazing your skin in a way that makes you swoon. minji and hanni silently communicate with each other through their eyes and brows, sharing a knowing look about the bond between you and danielle.
you couldn’t be any happier.
it turns out that you can be happier.
once the livestream ends, you all help clean up the studio. minji tries to suck in helium from the balloons, while hanni and hyein run around trying to stop her, adding to the lighthearted chaos. despite the playful antics, the six of you manage to clean up quickly. each member hugs you tightly, danielle hugging you last. as she pulls away, she gives a look to each of the members, silently sending them off with goodbyes and “see you back at home’s.” soon, it’s just you and danielle back in the empty studio after she had dragged you back inside.
“i’m sorry again, but i had to grab you some special things.”
“it’s okay, really.” you lie, knowing you probably would’ve went back home and sulked for a bit. you look at the bag in her hands, then giggle. “is that for me?”
“yes miss birthday girl!” 
you laugh and she hands you the bag, it’s smaller than everyone elses, but that doesn’t matter at all.
reaching in, you feel something fluffy. you pull out a small teddy bear about twice the size of your hands, feeling your lips turn up. it’s a bear with a flower in its hand and a small flower crown on top of its head. it’s adorable, but not as much as danielle.
“dani,” you pull her in for another hug. “this is so cute.”
“mhm.” she mumbles, pulling away. “press on its chest.”
“what?”
“just do it.”
you comply, you thumb adding pressure and feeling a small click. there’s a small sound that starts to play, and as soon as you hear the familiar voices, you almost break.
“hi y/n! we miss you and love you and are so so proud of you.” the sound of your grandpa’s voice in the recording makes you freeze.
your grandma speaks next, “we miss you and love you to death. keep it up! you are so amazing and the greatest gift ever, you’ve got this.” 
they both speak at the same time next, saying, “from your favorite bunnies: we love you y/n!”
danielle is a little scared as she watches you frozen in place, still clutching the bear she gave you. your lip trembles slightly, and she hears a slight shake in your breath. you stare at the bear in shock, then look up at danielle with tears brimming in your eyes. her heart aches, unsure if your reaction is good or bad, and she takes a hesitant step closer, her voice soft and concerned.
"hey, are you okay?" she asks, reaching out gently to touch your arm. 
you grab her wrist and pull her in, engulfing her in the warmest hug you’ve given. “danielle, this is the best gift i’ve ever received.” she can hear you starting to sniffle, not letting go of you and letting your tears stain her hair. “thank you so much, i– i really needed this. you’re seriously the most thoughtful person i know and i just, i can’t explain how much this means to me.”
danielle's heart swells with relief and affection. she hugs you tighter, resting her chin on your shoulder. "i'm so glad you like it," she whispers. "you mean a lot to me, and i wanted to give you something special, something that shows how much i care."
you pull back slightly to look at her, your eyes still glistening with tears. "it’s perfect," you say, your voice choked with emotion. "you’re perfect, oh my god, i love you so much.” 
danielle smiles, brushing a stray tear from your cheek. "i’m glad you like it, happy birthday.” she says softly.
-
“yes, i got it. i can’t believe danielle did all this for me.” you face your ipad, smiling at your grandparents. “i cried you know!”
your grandmas eyes smile with her and you can see the slight wrinkles in the corner of them. “aw, at least they were happy tears. your member, she reached out to us first you know? what a sweetheart…”
“danielle cares for you a lot, you know? she’s a great friend, you keep her close, okay?” your grandpa adds.
friend. the word rings in your ear, stinging a little. danielle is sweeter than honey, caring, loving, and she’s the reason your transition to moving away from home was easier. at the end of the day, no matter how touchy she is with you, how many flirtatious comments and affectionate gestures she gives; danielle is your friend. 
at least she’s in your life, you’re grateful for just that.
“yeah,” you chuckle, it’s bittersweet leaving you. “she’s a great friend.”
your grandma leans closer to the camera, smirking. “but if i had to take a guess, i don’t think you’re just a friend to her.”
an awkward laugh leaves your lips. “what are you on about?”
“friends don’t do things as significant as this. your grandpa was my ‘friend’ in college, but none of my friends did the things he did. did the rest of your members do something like this? she cares about you deeply, im sure the other members do too, but this is different y/n.”
“i mean, my members also gave me great gifts.”
“sweetie, danielle reached out to us via facebook and set up a whole thing in order to get this for you.”
“and i’ve seen your little videos with the members, she looks at you differently and clings onto you more than haerin. that says a lot.” your grandpa adds on, raising his brows. 
your cheeks start to burn, you roll your eyes and scoff. “i think you’re looking into it too far, seriously. she’s my coworker and friend.”
“y/n, follow your heart. you adore her and you’re trying to push away the feeling because you’re scared of rejection.” your grandma was very good at reading you. too good. “don’t suppress and run away because you’re scared, things will work out.”
“i don’t even know if she likes girls like that, i mean, danielle–”
without any warning, the door of your room is opened suddenly and you jump, dropping your ipad on the mattress and letting out a small yelp.
danielle stands int he doorway in her pajamas. “hey! oh sorry– did i interrupt? sorry i’ll come back later–” 
“no! i mean, no.” you clear your throat. “d-did you need something?”
your grandparents can only see the ceiling, but they still hear danielle, “ah, well, i’ll just tell you later when you’re done. are you calling your grandparents?”
“danielle? is that you?” your grandma calls out. “dear, let me see her.”
picking up the ipad and setting it upright again, danielle walks over to where you sit on the bed and leans over so her head is in frame. “mrs. and mr. l/n! hi, how are you?”
“oh danielle, it’s lovely to see you! we’re doing great.” your grandpa responds. 
you scoot over and pat down the space next to you, mumbling softly to danielle, “sit here.”
“you sure? i didn’t interrupt, i’ll just say hi and–”
danielle feels you grab her wrist, pulling her down so she’s next to you now. “it’s fine, i swear.” you assure, and danielle just nods.
“oh gosh, you get prettier each time i see you.” your grandpa says in awe (he gets it). “how did y/n react? tell us the full details.”
the member beside you laughs, it’s music to your ears. 
“she just stared at it while the audio played and… cried.” she turns to look at you with apologetic eyes. “it was very emotional, but i can assure she loved it. did you?”
“yeah.” you mutter, eyes on danielle as she speaks.
“aw, how adorable. well, we actually have to go. you had something to tell our granddaughter?”
your grandma and grandpa want you dead.
“aw, well i hope to talk to you two for longer next time! stay safe and healthy– oh! and speedy recovery to you mrs. l/n!”
“thanks dear, goodnight you two! happy birthday, we love you.” is the last thing your grandpa says before your grandma blows you a kiss and waves goodbye. the call ends a second later, leaving you and danielle alone.
she turns her head, your faces find themselves a hand apart.
“your grandparents are so lovely.”
you look at her like an idiot. “yeah.”
“i’m sorry to cut your call short, really–”
“no! no, it’s okay. what did you want to tell me?”
“well,” she starts, her gaze fixed on her hands. she looks nervous, and it makes you nervous as well. “i kind of was wondering…” you gulp, hearing the hesitation in her voice. she does that thing, the little nervous lip bite that’s both adorable and nerve-racking at the same time. “you know, the vacation we have is soon, and you’re here in seoul for the first week. i figured that might be boring, considering all of us will be out and with family, you know? and you, you’re still here.”
her words hang in the air, the weight of her uncertainty pressing down on both of you. you can feel the anticipation building, your heart pounding in your chest as you try to decipher her intentions. the idea of spending the first week of vacation alone had been a bit daunting, and the thought that danielle had been thinking about you, about your potential loneliness, makes your heart swell with a mix of hope and anxiety.
“and…?”
“well…” you focus on each curve of her side profile, eyes softening as she continues. “how does australia sound? with me, my hometown to be exact. oh! but only for a few days of course! i know your grandparents are visiting and yeah, that’s– that’s what i wanted to ask.”
you can’t help but chuckle at how she fiddles her fingers, how she avoids your gaze, and really just her all nervous like this. it’s cute, she’s cute. 
(everytime you’re with her, it seems that you fall more and more.
it seems impossible, but she finds a way to make it possible everytime.)
“danielle, i mean, this is so sudden but i would love to.” you reach out to put a hand on hers, danielle feels her heartbeat start to simmer back into its normal pace. “your family is fine with it?”
“they’re the ones who suggested it actually, and i know that one time when we were trainees you said you always wanted to visit where i grew up and i got giddy that time just thinking about it so of course i jumped at the idea and–” she cuts herself off after looking back up to see you. you’re grinning and your head is leaning against the headboard now. “sorry, i’m–”
“no, i like it. i’ll go.”
danielle sighs in relief. “okay good because i had bought the tickets a month ago when you mentioned staying in seoul for a week–”
“what?” 
all you can do is laugh again, making danielle laugh too. 
-
the first interaction you had with danielle had already piqued your curiosity. the memory replays in your head as you wait for the coffee you had ordered in the airport.
you were a new trainee, fumbling through the maze of hallways in search of the training room you had been reassigned to at the last minute. your korean was rudimentary at best—reading it was manageable, but grasping the full meaning took considerable effort and time. conversations were a challenge, your speech a mix of broken sentences and unintentional informalities that made interactions awkward.
every sign you passed seemed to blur together, each character a puzzle you struggled to piece together. the unfamiliar surroundings only heightened your anxiety, making every misstep feel monumental. your heart raced with a mix of frustration and determination as you looked down at the paper in your hand, clearly too focused on it as you collided with someone.
“shit–” you whisper, then rush out a botched, formal “sorry,”
you look at the girl in front of you, waving her hand and patting herself down. she looks at you worriedly, then says a little too quickly, “im so sorry! are you okay? i should’ve looked where i was going!”
“what?” you say in english. she’s speaking formally, it’s hard to decipher with your limited vocabulary and experience with others. you shake your head and mutter in accented korean, “sorry, w-what did you, um, what did you say?”
“ah,” the realization hits her, your confusion and accent told her enough. “do you speak english?”
her accent is strong, very recognizable which helps your body relax. she’s aussie, thank god. you think to yourself, then nod at the girl. 
“yes, fluently. my korean is not the best, sorry. it takes a bit to understand.”
“it’s no problem! i was just asking if you’re okay– i really should’ve watched where i was going.”
hurriedly, you wave your hands in the air. “no! no. i wasn’t looking, i was trying to read the paper and clashed into you.”
“it’s alright, at least we’re both fine!” you loved her radiant energy the moment you met her. the girl, you had bumped into already seemed to calm you down. even the first meeting, a simple collision, brought you some peace despite all of your stress as a trainee. “you’re having trouble with the paper? let me help.”
you hand her the paper. “thank you so much.”
“no worries, really.” she says before reading. “it says you’re moved to room 153– oh! i was just heading there!”
“really?”
“yeah! come with me!”
“thank you so much… um, your name?”
“danielle! yours?”
you take some time to examine her. danielle is really pretty, and if you hadn’t bumped into her at first you would’ve spent more time admiring her face. she had these beauty marks on her face that could rival any constellation, and the way her eyes lit up without even trying was enough to keep you captivated.
you gulped. “y/n.”
“pretty name.” she says, then grabs your hand and drags you in the other direction. “you know,” she giggles, “maybe it was a miracle that you ran into me.”
it was nothing short of a miracle, and honestly, it felt like something beyond that. had you not bumped into her that day, you might never have found your way to the training room. more importantly, you wouldn’t have met the person who would become your friend. danielle, with her effortless kindness and patience, helped you navigate and bear with the troubles of being a trainee in a place away from home. she assisted you in improving your korean, and provided the emotional support you desperately needed. she was your rock.
without danielle, you would have been lost, both literally and figuratively. her guidance made everything seem less overwhelming; she turned every challenge into a manageable task, and somehow, she managed to stay upbeat too. 
if it weren’t for her, you probably wouldn’t have debuted, you really wouldn’t have come this far.
and without her influence, you wouldn’t be in the airport trying to find her so you can give her that latte she wanted you to order. you catch her in the blue hoodie she had been wearing, walking towards her immediately and watching her eyes crinkle when she sees you. even with her mask on, she’s lovely.
seeing danielle reunite with her family almost brings tears to your eyes. she’s crying as she hugs her sister, mom, and dad, you smile at the sight. it’s clear she’s missed them; who wouldn’t miss the people they loved most while being a long flight away?
“oh! y/n, come here!” danielle pulls away from her parents to drag you over by the hand. 
her mom looks you up and down, smiling at your awkward self in your oversized graphic t-shirt and sweatpants. she puts her hands on either side of your shoulder, then pulls you in for a hug. “y/n, it’s great to see you again.”
“likewise.” you hug her back.
danielle’s dad joins in, wrapping his arms around you two as well. “don’t leave me out!” and it prompts danielle’s sister to hug you too.
“hey! i want hugs too!” danielle jumps over, and now you’re engulfed in a multihug, but who would complain?
“no really, it’s alright! i don’t want to trouble you any more. i can settle myself in, really.” you’re trying your best to fight off each attempt at helping you relax into the guest room next to danielle’s, dismissing every family member until it’s danielle.
she pouts. “you sure? are you posssiiittivveeee~”
“dani,” you hold her fingers. “i’m so positive that i’m negative.” you put a hand up to interrupt her before she even speaks. “and no that doesn’t mean i need your help, seriously. go see your family, i’ll meet you all soon.”
she’s frowning now. “fine, fine. meet in the living room?”
“yes, i’ll take ten minutes tops.”
“you sure?”
“more positive than a plus sign.”
danielle giggles, and so do you. she holds both of your hands and you two stare at each other for a good while. she’d love to spend a few minutes helping you unpack. the action is mundane, but that’s what she likes to do most with you. she could be watching paint dry and as long as it’s with you, she’d enjoy every second. 
you forget how to breathe for a moment until she releases her hands. she winks at you, then heads out the door, leaving you flushed.
you wonder how you’ll survive for the next few days.
you manage to survive the first day. it consists of you following danielle around (not that you’re against it) and your eyes widening with each new sight.
every car ride, your head is angled towards the window, captivated by the passing scenery. danielle’s gaze also falls on the window, but not for the view it offers. instead, she watches you, memorizing your features with a quiet intensity. she already knows every contour of your face by heart; a simple touch, even blindfolded, would be enough for her to recognize you. 
you, however, are too entranced by the world outside to notice her adoration. the vibrant trees, the shimmering water in the distance, and the people going about their lives with smiles on their faces all hold your attention. the landscape unfolds like a living painting, and you are lost in its beauty.
danielle finds her own kind of beauty in watching you, her heart swelling with each small expression of wonder that crosses your face.
from morning to sunset, the day is filled with shared giggles, smiles, and endless affection. danielle leads you to each of her favorite spots in the city, eagerly sharing the anecdotes that make each place special to her. the two of you are like peas in a pod—she talks and talks, and you listen intently, soaking up every word.
as you explore the city together, danielle's excitement is infectious. she points out the café where she first realized espresso based drinks weren’t all that bad. then she takes you to the park where she used to sit and clear her mind, mentioning that she dropped an ice cream cone at a bench near a tall tree as a child. and you learn that the little bookstore tucked away in a quiet alley is where she discovered her favorite novel. each place holds a piece of her heart, and she's sharing it all with you.
(another piece of her heart, you, mingling with the others like puzzle pieces clicking together.)
you let her take as many pictures as she wants, capturing every moment to savor later. whether it's a candid shot of you laughing at one of her stories, a moment where you’re caught of guard, or a scenic view of the sunset you both admire; you pose willingly, knowing how much these memories mean to her. because really, you'll do anything for danielle. her joy is your joy, and her stories are now part of your shared narrative, weaving a tapestry of cherished memories that belong to both of you now.
when the two of you make it back home to her home in the evening after a tiring, eventful day with her and her family, you realize that yeah, you’re in love with her.
you’re in love with her beyond anything, you could breathe danielle.
it’s never been a question, really, loving her and all. but you’ve seen her at each moment in time and your first day with her where she grew up ties the knot tighter. it should hurt your heart, the feeling that it might not be reciprocated, but you’re too distracted by how happy she is to plate everyone’s dinner to let it get to you.
besides, maybe your grandma was right. 
you trust her intuition, but you need some more reassurance.
on the second day in the afternoon, you’re helping out her grandparents with cooking pastries. you’re mixing the batter for banana bread and danielle’s chin is on her palm as she watches you attentively. 
a soft tune is playing and you're humming along, the melody bringing a relaxed smile to your face. the family dog, jinni, keeps brushing against your leg, wagging her tail eagerly. your laughter rings out, light and infectious, and danielle can't help but think that your laughter is much more pleasing to the ear than whatever plays in the background. 
danielle's gaze remains fixed on you, a tender smile forming on her lips as she watches you interact with jinni. there's something mesmerizing about the way you move, the way you laugh, and the effortless joy you radiate. 
her reverie is interrupted when her sister taps her shoulder, pulling her back to the present moment. danielle turns, humming softly in response, but her thoughts are still with you, the image of your laughter lingering in her mind.
“dani, you’re in love.”
“lower your voice!” danielle hushes her. “i– i’m not.”
“you look like the lead of a romance film.”
“well,” danielle sighs in defeat after glancing at you again. her grandma has found a small spoon and is scooping a bit of the batter to feed you. your eyes light up, and the way your teeth show could stop a storm, danielle thinks. "ugh, it's just, i adore her."
“that’s evident.”
danielle laughs and playfully nudges her sister, then rests her hadn on her palm again.
“she’s beautiful and sweet and– how could someone not love her?”
“you’ve been in love with her ever since you gushed about the ‘pretty girl not from here that can basically only speak english’ when you were a trainee, dani.”
she groans in response and leans against her sister as she watches you again. you pour the batter into the prepared tray, then look over at danielle. you motion for her to walk over and she gets up immediately, but not before catching the knowing look from her sister.
you hold the spatula up and order, “taste.” before she laughs and licks the batter off of it. you raise your brows. “good, right? it’s not too sweet and the perfect amount of banana.”
“it’s amazing.” she fights the urge to say that you are too.
danielle takes you to three beaches on the third day, you enjoy watching her splash her feet around in the water before dragging you in, almost soaking the upper half of your linen pants.
“hey! i don’t have a change of clothes!”
“then be quicker!” she says in between giggles, “don’t be a scaredy cat!”
“i’m not!”
her sister follows the two of you to the pier-like structure, a rocky outcrop covered in green organisms that squish underfoot, eliciting a mix of surprised noises from you and laughter from both danielle and her sister. the scene is serene, with the sound of waves lapping against the rocks in the background. 
danielle takes your hand, guiding you along despite the squishy algae underfoot. she shares another anecdote, this time about how she and her sister used to swim until they were the last ones in the water, far out where the bigger waves crashed. you listen intently, captivated by her storytelling, and without realizing it, your fingers intertwine. her hand may be smaller, but it fits perfectly in yours, as if they were meant to be connected all along.
as danielle reminisces, her eyes sparkle with fond memories, and a soft smile plays on her lips. the gentle breeze ruffles your hair as you both stand there, sharing a moment that feels suspended in time, it really feels like you’re stuck in time and place the longer you stare. her features are highlighted by the rays of sun shining and you can’t seem to take your eyes off of her.
“you guys look like a couple.”
at the same time, you and danielle turn your heads around, cheeks pooling with embarrassment. “hey!” danielle shouts, but her hand doesn’t leave yours, and neither does she step away from you.
the thought of looking like you’re together doesn’t bother you one bit, if anything, it seems right.
her, her family, and you all go to the last beach together with clothing suited for swimming. danielle ends up dragging you toward the water eagerly, she makes you trip and fall. the taste of saltwater overwhelms your tongue, and before you know it, you’re grabbing danielle and dragging her down with you.
laughter fills the air, her family joins in on the splashing, and her dad has managed to splash you so hard that you slip and fall again. the feeling is overwhelming, your heart might burst.
after you all spend time in the water, the rest of the time at the beach is spent on a towel where the sand is. you dig your feet into the sand, as you listen to her parents sharing stories that make you smile wide – you’ve already been smiling so much the whole trip, but they manage to make you smile more and more. it’s apparent that danielle is the way she is because of how wonderful her family is, and maybe you’re just as wonderful after being around her these past years.
“y/n, did you go to the beach often when you were younger?”
your head shoots up at the question her mom asked, you hum. 
“mhm.” your feet dig into the sand a little deeper. “we lived a one hour train ride from a really pretty beach, i learned how to swim there. my grandpa used to fish too, he’d catch one or two fish for us and make either a soup or grill it over rice. and sometimes he’d bring his ukulele so my grandma and i could sing as the sun started to set. i would always fall asleep and wake up on his shoulder as we boarded the train, and then on the way home i was always asleep on my grandma.”
it’s silent for a moment until danielle breaks it. “y/n, that’s so sweet.”
“yeah.” you fight back tears, biting your lip and managing a smile. “being at the beach with you all makes me as happy as i was then too.”
“well i’m really glad, your presence has given us much joy.” her dad says. you look up and giggle.
“yes, and i bet making me fall into the water did too.”
everyone laughs at the playful retort. all of you continue to reminisce and enjoy the scene until her mom decides it’s time to get going. danielle lingers near you, her arm linking with yours because she’s cold and you’re allegedly ‘almost as warm as the sun.’
danielle also lets you fall asleep against her, a light snore making her family turn their heads to see her taking a picture of you and smiling.
“you two are adorable, you know.” her mom says softly, not wanting to wake you up.
danielle nods. “she is.”
later that night danielle accompanies you on a late night walk. initially, you wanted to go alone to clear your mind – not that you were troubled, but because you needed designated alone time. however, danielle is a worrier, and for you, it’s tenfold.
her arm brushes yours every now and then, she doesn’t fill the silence knowing how you are. the feeling in the air is calming and every worry is gone.
you look ahead and practically breathe out, “dani.”
“yeah?”
“i’m really happy.”
“i’m glad.”
“like, so happy.”
she moves to hold your hand again, your fingers interwining purposefully. “i’m happy that you are.”
"i'm really overwhelmed," you sigh softly, finding respite on a small bench nestled in the park where you've wandered together. sitting beside her, you pause, a mix of happiness and longing evident in your eyes. "seeing you with your family... it just fills me with this warmth. you know, i've never had that closeness with my parents. they've never really understood or supported me. you know how it is." you confess, feeling her reassuring grip tighten around you.
you tilt your head back, gazing up at the sky painted in hues of twilight, a gentle smile gracing your lips. "i'm not jealous, not at all, like, seriously. it's just... i'm so happy. your family is so loving and wonderful, and you," you turn to meet her eyes, heart swelling with affection, "you're just... yeah, really great."
she laughs quietly, leaning against you so her head is on your shoulder.
“well, you’re really great too.”
“maybe.”
“definitely.”
-
danielle coaxes you into staying in her room for a bit. she’s laid next to you on her phone and you can hear the small breaths she takes. you’re hyperaware of everything, despite being on your phone. 
you notice the way she curls up closer to you, how she puts her phone down and turns to stare at you.
“what?”
“nothing, you can keep going on your phone.”
“well now i don’t want to.”
“aw, i guess you’ll have to pay attention to me then.”
your features soften upon meeting her.
danielle has always been a sight for sore eyes. you really just wanted to pursue your dreams, singing, dancing, and being on stage. you didn’t expect to be lying next to someone so ethereal, eyes bright even in the dimmed room, making your heart skip a few beats here and there. 
what are you thinking? you want to question, you want to know if she sees the same glow in you as you do with her. is this okay? what do we have?
“you’ve always been so pretty y/n.” she breaks the silence. her hand reaches over and her kunckles graze your skin. “i can never stop staring.”
uneasiness settles in, your heart starts to roll around in your chest. it’s terrifying, the thought that everything could be mutual. you’ve always been avoidant, and especially now with her staring at you like you’re the world and beyond, you’re trying to escape her hold. 
you turn your head away to face the ceiling. “you praise me too much.”
“everytime i look at you i think… you’re the person i want to wake up next to everyday, i want to cook us breakfast and make you more than just a bowl of yogurt and berries and–” you turn to face her again, and now she’s closer. “i want to be the one that sees the sun hit your face first thing in the morning.”
“danielle i–” it’s terrifying, you never thought you’d get this far. the drowsiness and the fact that it’s past twelve makes you hesitate, people just say things at this hour. “i should go to sleep.”
“stay,” she holds your wrist.
“i’m scared.”
her eyes soften. “of?”
your lips part, and suddenly, you can't recall why fear ever gripped you in the first place. allowing yourself to be embraced by the affection of the other members had been a daunting step, but growing under danielle's adoration felt as effortless as reciting your abcs. it came naturally, flowing with ease and simplicity. there was never a need to second-guess, never a hesitation.
she blinks, then her eyes land on your lips, and back to your eyes.
“i, i don’t know.”
“then stay.” she mumbles, her voice is soft and low before she takes your breath away.
she kisses you and everything around you fades into nothing because all you can focus on is her. the way her hand holds your face, so gently as if you might break if it were any rougher, makes you melt. you’ve never kissed anyone, but thankfully she’s the first. and the soft feeling of her top lip sliding in between your own lips makes you think that you really want her to be the last too.
she pulls away and you both pause for a moment, basking in the moment before meeting again. flowers bloom, waves crash, thunder claps; danielle is kissing you and nothing has every felt better.
the two of you pull away to stare at each other in awe, that is, until you lean in eagerly again it catches her by surprise. her arms are around your neck and she starts to giggle as you climb on top of her, peppering kisses along the curve of her jaw, down to her neck, and the dip of her collarbone. 
“i love you.” it sounds out like a prayer.
“i love you more.”
“no way.” you roll your eyes before attacking her with kisses again until she’s trying to push you off from how ticklish it all is.
the night draws to a close with your head nestled comfortably on danielle's shoulder, her fingers gently tracing soothing patterns on your scalp. a sense of calm settles over you both, sleep slowly claiming your consciousness. your heartbeats synchronize and your breathing steadies, the shared intimacy deepens, until you’re cocooned in a mutual understanding.
in the quiet of the night, danielle shifts, prompting you to instinctively roll closer, draping an arm over her from behind. your hands find each other naturally, fingers intertwining even while you’re both dead asleep.
-
[danielle PHONING update]
🐶: hi everyone! i’ve been on vacation 🐶: i’ve never been happier, really. 🐶: take care of yourselves and stay healthy! 🐶: i’m very happy, seriously attachment: six images
minji stares at the notification, still half asleep, but as she scrolls through each photo, a soft smile graces her lips. she admires the picturesque beach view, the shirt danielle had bought, and the adorable snapshot of her dog.
her eyes widen with surprise at the last three pictures, but a warmth spreads through her heart. in the first, she sees the side of your face against a backdrop of a stunning sunset. the next captures you and danielle leaning into each other, a moment of intimacy frozen in time. the final photo shows you gazing into the distance, danielle's hand playfully squishing your cheeks together, both of you making silly duck faces with laughter lighting up your eyes.
and then another notification pops up, making minji nearly choke on the water she had sipped on.
[danielle PHONING update]
🐶: almost forgot this one ;-) attachment: one image
the picture shows you being kissed on the cheek by danielle, your cheeks burning from the contact. 
a few seconds later she gets a call, the contact ‘bbang hanni’ popping up at the top of her screen. minji picks up immediately.
“did you see?”
“i saw.” minji says, still staring at the picture. “we are so interrogating them when they’re back.”
“good cop bad cop?”
“good cop bad cop.”
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 10 months ago
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Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part One
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Summary: Some of your closest friends betray you and somehow push you into the arms of someone unsuspected. Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 5.7k Warnings: Mentions of cheating resulting in pregnancy and explicit language...I think that's it lol (Barely edited per usual lmao) a/n: You guys seemed really excited for this fic so I'm gonna make it a miniseries since even the poll results were so close so anyways I hope you enjoy! Requested by the lovely @kkusadmirer 💜
"Is everything ready?" I ask my best friend Jina for the hundredth time today. "Yes y/n calm down. This party is going to be perfect don't worry" she says with a smile that doesn't reach her eyes, making me even more apprehensive but decide it's best to just take her for her word instead of digging deeper. 
"You're right, I should probably just go back upstairs and get ready huh?" I say and start heading upstairs to take the curlers out of my hair and finish up my makeup in her old bedroom. "Let me know if you need help, I'll just be putting the finishing touches on everything in the meantime" she calls after me and I respond with a quick 'okay' before running up the rest of the steps I had been ascending.
I walk down the hallway lost in thought and am stopped in my tracks when I find myself bumping into someone, almost falling over but he luckily catches me before I even have a chance to stumble back more than a few steps. 
"Careful there" he teases and I look up and apologize immediately. "I'm sorry Mr. Jeon I wasn't watching where I was going" I say quickly and he smiles at my flustered state. "It's okay darling don't worry about it" he says in a deep tone that has always gotten to me. I take a quick step back to create some much needed distance and to cover up the awkwardness that had settled in. 
"Thank you again for letting us hold our engagement party in your home. Are you sure you still don't mind?" I ask him as well for the hundredth time as if we had time to change things with mine and my fiancé's relatives already on the way. 
"Y/n if I minded I would've said no a long time ago. Don't worry, I'd do anything for you, since you and Jared have been such amazing friends to my daughter. It truly means more to me than you know" he says placing his hand on my bicep to aide in showing his sincerity. 
"Of course Mr. Jeon. Moving to a new state in the middle of your Sophomore year of  college has gotta be difficult for anyone so I'm just happy we could be there for her" I say smiling up at him. He stares at me for a second, studying my features before breaking out of the slight trace he had caught himself in to continue the conversation. 
"I'm sorry you're probably wanting to finish getting ready and I'm holding you up" he says taking his hand off of me and stepping aside so I can walk down the hallway to my intended destination. 
"Don't worry about it. We've got plenty of time as it is so I'm in no rush. Thanks again Mr Jeon" I say, quickly wrapping up the conversation and walk into Jina's room. Before I'm able to close the door though he makes it a point to remind me of something I've always forgotten.
"Haven't we agreed upon calling me Jungkook? Mr. Jeon makes me feel so old" he teases and we both laugh at his words. "Thank you, Jungkook" I say and he smiles, satisfied with the change. "You're welcome" he replies with an heir of sensuality that leaves my brain buzzing and I close the door before either of us has the chance to say another word. 
He's always made me nervous but why does today feel different? It's not like his playful nature is anything new. He's acted like this since the first day I met him and when I had brought it up to Jina she just said he was being friendly so I never really gave it a second thought. 
There's no denying he's a handsome man and from what I can tell him and his ex wife had Jina when they were quite young so he's not anywhere near old enough to make it seem a bit strange but I tend to just deal with the butterflies by ignoring them as much as I can. 
He makes sure to be respectful when Jared's around and he hasn't crossed any lines to my knowledge so I don't mind it. It makes me feel confident more than anything and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. 
I shake off those thoughts and finish getting ready before I start to panic about being late and end up finishing up a lot sooner than I had planned and as I'm putting on my heels I hear a faint knock at the door. 
"Come in" I call out and my fiancé pops his head in from behind the door. "Aw I thought I would catch you while you were changing" he says with a fake pout leaving me smiling and shaking my head at him. "You'll get to do that plenty of times once we're married you pervert" I tease and he scoffs playfully. 
"You know, now that I think about it I kind of am a pervert aren't I?" he says while stalking towards me, making my breath hitch and my adrenaline start pumping but I have to tell myself to calm down before I do anything stupid. "After the wedding I warn and he backs off like he always does.
I smile and get up from the bed I had been sitting on and give him a quick kiss but he holds onto the back of my neck, keeping me there for a little while longer and deepening the kiss. "You look gorgeous" he whispers against my lips and I smile before giving him a quick peck and pulling back to look at him.
"You don't look half bad yourself" I taunt and he scoffs before granting me a sarcastic 'thank you'. "I'm kidding baby you look handsome as always" I say and he smiles at that and places a quick kiss on my cheek before taking my hand and leading me downstairs to where we're met with a few of our family and friends having already arrived. 
"You should've told me they were here sooner" I whisper to him while I wave at them as we walk downstairs. "I didn't want to rush you" he replies, giving my hand a gentle squeeze leaving my heart fluttering at how thoughtful he had been.
"Thank you love" I say looking at him as if he's the only one I need. "For what?" he chuckles, studying my features almost as if he's committing them to memory. "For wanting to marry me" I say and he laughs at my cute sentiment. "Thank you for saying yes" he replies and at that we start mingling together throughout the crowd and thanking everyone for coming. 
~~~~~
We part ways after a few more groups of people come in and around the time we're going to bring out the champagne I start to look around to see if I can find him so we can both be ready to make a toast once everyone's gotten a glass.
As I look around and ask a few people where he might be they point toward the far end of the house where not many people had wandered to and so I curiously make my way over to the room I had assumed he would be in but before I'm even able to put my hand on the door I hear the voices of not only Jared but Jina as well. 
"We have to tell her" I hear her say and stop short, my heartbeat immediately raising as I hold my breath, waiting for the response. "You told me you were on the pill though. How did this happen?" and at that my heart breaks. "I don't know I guess I forgot to take a couple of them and-" "And so what? You decided that screwing me without protection would work out just fine? Fuck Jina" Jared cuts her off and I hold my hand over my mouth to stop the sobs that I know are sure to come. 
"You were the one that said you wanted to stop using them" she defends. "Oh and so now it's my fault. Jina we both agreed to that and you know it" he says and at that the room falls silent for a moment before he speaks up again.
"What are we gonna do?" he mumbles, leaving the choice in her hands. "We need to tell her because I'm not getting rid of this baby. I don't care if you're going to be in our kid's life or not but either way we're telling her" she says, standing firm on what she thinks is right. 'She should've thought about that before she started fucking my boyfriend' I think to myself and wait for the conversation to continue.
"She deserves to know" she says in a hushed tone and they both agree moments later that they'll tell me after the party to avoid both of our families catching wind of it and at that I walk away as quietly as I can, heading to the bathroom across the house to collect myself before I even try to face anyone. 
'How the fuck could they do this to me? How could they do this to us? Did everything the three of us did together really not matter? All of this love that I gave Jared and he gave me made me feel like we were gonna last forever but I guess my wants and needs weren't enough for him. He wanted what he wanted and found that in my best fucking friend. 
I chuckle dryly at that thought and how ironic it sounds at the moment. The wants to avoid the drama of the rest of the family knowing? Well they don't have that kind of luxury anymore. 
I collect myself a few moments later and make my way out of the bathroom to intermingle again until I happen upon my soon to be ex fiancé in the crowd. 
"Hey honey" I say and I can see him trying to hold back the guilt at my words and I hold back from ripping his head off for the sake of what I'm about to do. "Should we go ahead and bring out the champagne and make a toast?" I ask and he nods his head agreeing wordlessly. 
"Great I'll ask Jina to help us out" I say and I can see how stiff his whole body becomes after I mention her name and he laughs it off and walks closer to me and I hold out my hand for him and guide us both over to where we've placed everything for the toasts. 
~~~~
"Does everyone have a glass?" I call out and everyone says yes and Jina makes her way around, filling everyone's glasses but her own. "Okay great Jina go ahead and grab a glass and then if you guys don't mind we'd like to pose a toast!" I say and everyone places their full attention on both Jared and I who are standing side by side. 
I watch as Jina tentatively fills her glass half full knowing full well that she won't be drinking any of that but I singled her out as a way to make her even more uncomfortable. Serves her right honestly but it's only just begun. 
"Okay everyone, firsts things first I would just like to thank all of you for coming. It is just so wonderful we could all gather here together and the fact that you all made the effort to come and celebrate Jared and I is just something that I won't ever forget so thank you again from the bottom of my heart" I say and hear murmurs of 'You're welcome's and 'Thank you for inviting us' throughout the crowd and I continue on after those die down.
"Another person I would like to thank would be my best friend who I couldn't have any of this without her including being able to host this party in her's and her father's wonderful home so thank you both for that" I continue and I look for Jungkook in the crowd and see him raising his glass to me and I turn my attention to Jina moments later and see the forced smile on her face and I smile back at her and take a deep breath before continuing. 
"You know Jina has been such a great friend to both Jared and I and the countless memories we've made together are something that I'll always hold close to my heart. One memory in particular is one that I think we'll all remember for the rest of our lives is one that I would like to share with you all" I say and I watch as Jared and Jina make nervous glances at each other but I hear the room fill with words mentioning how cute our friendship is and how it's nice to have close friends that get along. Oh boy they're about to know just how well we all get along. 
"This one actually just happened not too long ago, in fact it was just today wasn't it guys?" I say making eye contact with the both of them and I can see as both of them realize that they've been caught. 
"Yeah it's funny I was looking for Jared not too long ago to try to find where he had scurried off to and low and behold I found him and Jina having a cute little chat together just over there" I say and motion to the secluded part of the house where they had been and I see the crowd go from happy to confused. 
"They had been talking about how they had a surprise and they needed to tell me after the party but I figured that I would just give them an opportunity to say it now so all of us can hear it together. Would you guys like to share it with everyone?" I ask the two of them and wait a few moments before Jared tries to shut me down. 
"I think that's probably a conversation we should have in private right Jina?" Jared says, pleading with her to back him up. "Oh are you guys too shy? Don't worry I can say it" I counter, brushing him off. "Y/n I don't really think that's necessary" Jina now tries to reason with me but I'm way too far gone by now.
"Why not? Doesn't everyone deserve to know that you're pregnant" I say, pausing for the rest of the family to smile at the surprise and some of them start to congratulate her but before they can get too far I continue on. 
"Yeah she's pregnant with Jared's baby! Isn't that so sweet?" I say and at that point the room goes so silent you would hear a pin drop and I break it by continuing to rub salt into the wound. 
"I know right? It's so crazy isn't it? It was a surprise to me too. Congratulations to the both of you" I say and down my drink while they stand there speechless as does the rest of the crowd. 
"So yeah anyways thank you all so much for coming and get home safe!" I say and make an exit into the backyard while Jared and Jina chase after me. 
"Y/n, y/n wait. Please" Jina calls after me first, following as I make my way over to the clearing behind the house and away from prying eyes. "Why should I wait huh? It's not like you waited and thought 'Hey maybe it's not the best idea to be raw doggin my best friend's boy friend' or were you guys still fucking by the time you asked me to marry you?" I ask the two of them and they both just stand there in silence. 
"You know what, you guys are perfect for each other. The whore I thought was my best friend and the whore who chased after her because neither of you could keep it in your pants. Thanks a lot, have a nice life" I say and storm off into the small clearing behind Jungkook's house, praying they won't follow me. 
"Oh and another thing" I say before walking too far, "I'm keeping the ring to compensate for emotional damage you bastard" I spit at my ex and his jaw drops, never having heard words like that come out of my mouth ever let alone directed at him. 
"Baby wait I can explain" he says trying a pathetic excuse of trying to get me to get him to hear him out. "Pretty sure I heard everything I needed to hear when you were having your little rendezvous earlier" I say, fully admitting to listening in on their conversation. 
"If I never see either of you again it'll be too soon" I say and continue on into the clearing, walking just far enough to be out of their view. "We really fucked up didn't we?" I hear Jina say and soon hear Jared scoff in return. "We fucked up? No you fucked up! You should've been more responsible" he throws back at her and storms off. "What the fuck Jared don't you dare walk away from me" she yells and chases after him, following him back into the house. 
After taking a few deep breaths and convincing myself over and over again that this is for the best and I'm better off without them I slowly make my way back into the yard and sit on the bench that's furthest away from everything, hoping no one finds me out here. Luckily it does the trick and I'm able to avoid facing anyone from the party and soon hear all of their cars leaving and the place falls silent. 
"They're all gone now if you want to come inside" Jungkook says, walking over to me tentatively, making sure he doesn't do something to make me run off. I look up at him with a tear streaked face and try to smile but ultimately end up hanging my head, hiding what little emotions I've let myself show and he walks over and sits on the far side of the bench I'm on. He doesn't say anything, he just sits with me and lets me ride the wave of emotions I'm feeling but also letting me know he's there if I need him.
I let out a few shaky breath after having let a few more tears fall before collecting myself and drying my eyes. "I'm sorry" I whisper and he turns towards me with a confused look on his face. "Whatever for?" he questions, puzzled as to why I could possibly be apologizing. 
"For the show I put on back there. I was just so mad when I overheard them talking and I don't know, I felt like I wanted to humiliate them since they decided to fuck behind my back like how fucked up can you be to sleep with your best friend's boyfriend?" I spout off and then look over and remember who I'm talking to. 
"I- I didn't mean. I'm sorry Mr. Jeon" I apologize again and hang my head in shame. I'm met with a chuckle as a response and when I look up at him I can see that he's clearly very amused. "What's so funny?" I question and he continues to laugh. 
"I'm sorry darling, just seeing how horrified you looked when you remembered that you were talking shit about Jina to her father was kind of hilarious and honestly adorable" he chuckles and I let out a breath and smile at him, happy he wasn't offended by it. 
"I wasn't thinking straight, I'm sorry" I apologize again, feeling so so guilty for bringing all of this drama to his house. "Hey, you have nothing to apologize for" he says softly, placing his hand on top on mine. The one that happens to be sitting on my thigh and I gulp at the sight of his big hand enveloping the sight of my hand and now has his fingers resting high up on the inside of my thigh. 
"It's not your fault that they're both fucked up and you got caught in the crossfire okay? So please don't apologize about that again" he says and I nod my head mindlessly, my eyes still focused on the hand that is now squeezing my thigh in reassurance but I can't get past the feeling of having his hands on me like this. 
He stands up a second later, taking his hand off of me and I look up at him, almost as if questioning why he stopped and he simply smiles at my cute reaction. "Let's head inside alright? It's gonna start getting cold out here soon" he says and I nod my head, wordlessly following him back into his home. 
"Did you want a drink?" he asks and I jump at the opportunity. "Yeah I'll just take this" I say while grabbing one of the barely opened champagne bottles. "Did you want a glass?" he chuckles, watching as I take a big gulp out of the bottle. "No need, this is fine. Might as well not let it go to waste right?" I say and he hums in acknowledgement while poring himself a drink. 
I walk around his living room and take in everything about it, reminiscing about all the memories and shared laughter there had been here over the last couple of years and find my mind wandering a bit. "I'm really gonna miss this place" I say, meaning to keep it to myself but accidentally voicing it loud enough for Jungkook to hear as well. 
"You're welcome to come back here anytime you'd like" he replies, startling me when I realize he's gotten closer and is now sitting on the couch directly behind where I stand, facing the mantle and looking at the various pictures placed on it. Pictures of Jina, Jared and I over the years, ones that no doubt Jungkook had taken. 
"I always hated this picture" I say mindlessly and I hear him get up off the couch so he can see which one I'm referring to. "Oh the one where I took all of you to the beach house a few years ago for your birthday? Why? Didn't you have fun?" Jungkook questions, genuinely surprised with my reaction to it. 
"No it's not that, I had a great time. I just feel like I look like a wet dog in that picture" I admit and I'm granted with a little chuckle beside me. "Hey" I whine and glance over at him, my breath hitching when I realize just how close he's gotten. 
"You know what? Now that I think about it I don't really like that picture either" he says and I turn my body to fully face him, highly offended and demanding he explain himself. "I didn't like the way that Jared was touching you that day. He couldn't keep his hands off you and I know that it was making you uncomfortable" he says, lowering his voice an octave and causing a shiver to run through my body. 
"How did you-" "When a man really pays attention and cares for you he can tell from the slightest change how their woman is feeling. I guess he just never got the memo" he says, glaring at Jared in the picture and how he unashamedly has his hand placed directly on my ass while I'm wearing a swimsuit that I had already felt uncomfortable in in the first place. 
My mind goes into overdrive with what those words could've possibly meant. 'Was he paying that close of attention to me that he noticed something small like that? Has he been jealous of Jared? Does he care for me?' are just some of the questions that start swirling around in my brain and before I can register what had happened next he's gone and sat on the couch and is suggesting I come sit down as well. 
"You've had a long day don't you think?" he asks and I nod my head and sit on the other side of the couch making sure to keep proper distance between us. "Yeah I guess you could say that" I chuckle dryly and take a drink from the champagne bottle I still have in my hand but end up spilling it on myself. 
"Shit" I say and Jungkook quickly grabs a napkin to help clean up having spilled some on the couch as well. "I'm sorry" I apologize, constantly finding more and more reasons to apologize and he shuts me down again. "A little champagne never hurt anybody don't worry about it" he says, brushing it off and leaving me feeling a little less guilty. 
"Why don't I grab you a glass and give you some of my clothes to wear so if we have another little mishap it won't be as big of a deal" he offers and before I can refuse he's already given me a glass and is halfway up the stairs. Gosh my brain really must be working in slow motion already. 
~~~~~
After Jungkook gives me a big t shirt and sweats I change into them and tie the drawstring tight to aide in keeping the pants up and look in the mirror of the bathroom I had been changing in and realize how much of a mess I look like right now with smudges of mascara under my eyes and my nose all red from all of the crying I had been doing earlier. 
I quickly wash and dry my face and throw my hair up and out of the way since at this point theres no saving this look and just accept defeat, walking out in my now more casual look and find him sporting an almost identical one. 
"Feel better?" he asks and I nod my head and walk towards where he's standing. "Come here" he says holding out his arm and pulling me into a hug. I melt in his embrace and almost start tearing up a bit again, but push back a little and softly break apart from his embrace before the two of us sit down. 
"I don't know how to feel honestly. I feel angry and sad and betrayed and relieved and heart broken and I don't know. I'm just confused" I start and he nods his head, encouraging me to continue and so I do. 
"We've been together since before Jina and I had ever met and things had always been so good between us and then when Jina came along it felt like things had gotten even better if that's makes sense. We had our three amigos group going and whenever we were together it felt like the rest of the world didn't matter. Or I guess at least that's how I felt" I say and take a shaky breath in and out before preparing to say the next part. 
"When Jared and I got together, I told him right off the bat that I wanted to save myself for marriage and he respected that. I will admit that we both had gotten close to breaking that boundary I set  once or twice but he always backed off when I asked him to and I was thankful for that. Guys my age or guys in general don't really respect that sort of outlook anymore so the fact that he was more or less willing to date me after knowing that gave me hope for us" I say, letting everything off my chest.   
I down my glass and pour myself another one before continuing on and I take into account that he's watching my every move. "I figured 'If he had a problem with it and got tired of it then he would've dumped me' or 'He's had really good self control all of these years so that must mean there's something special between us'. So when he asked me to marry him I said yes without thinking twice. I had my knight in shining armor, the one who waited for me and I couldn't be happier" I scoff, taking another gulp of champagne. 
"Looks like he waited to have me but got someone else to fulfill his needs on the side" I mumble and down the rest of my glass before pouring another and I can see the concern in Jungkook's eyes growing but I pay no mind to it. 
"You know after all that I just can't help but wonder 'Was it all worth it? Was saving myself and in the end losing the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with worth it?' At this point my virginity is becoming more of a hassle than anything and honestly I don't want it anymore" I say, finally voicing how I had been feeling about keeping myself pure for a while. 
"I feel like it would be best if I just got it over with and went on with my life you know?" I say, finally looking at Jungkook and I can see how dilated his pupils are and how ragged his breath has gotten, doing a horrible job at concealing it.
"Can I ask you something Mr. Jeon?" I question, leaning towards him, a new gained confidence flowing through me from all the alcohol that I had consumed in such a short time. Downing glass after glass throughout our whole evening. "Jungkook" he rasps and I feel a fluttery feeling building in my stomach. 
"I'm sorry, I always seem to forget. Jungkook, can I ask you something?" I repeat placing my hand on his thigh, feeling the muscle tense up at the contact but he nods nevertheless and waits for me to continue. "How old were you when you lost your virginity?" I question, wondering what his experience might've been like. 
"Um, when I was about eighteen I guess. It was right before I graduated high school" he answers truthfully and I nod my head, mulling over what I plan to say next.
"It seems like a man of your age has had his fair share of sex am I right?" I ask and see him gulp at my assumption. "I guess you could say that" he responds and leans back a bit when I get closer. "Mr. Jeon do you have a girlfriend right now? Someone you might be seeing?" I ask, making sure that in my tipsy state I won't make the same mistake my hopeless excuse of a best friend and ex made. 
"No, I uh I'm not seeing anyone" he says quickly and I nod my head and wait a moment to get my words together. "Do you think you would mind taking my virginity?" I ask and at that his jaw drops, not expecting to be asked something like that straight away but in this state I guess you could say I'm full of surprises. 
"I- What?" he asks, confused and concerned as to if I actually meant what I said and not only that but clarifying to make sure he's heard me right. "I'm asking you if you would take my virginity. You said you'd do anything for me remember?" reminding him of his words from earlier in the day. 
"Y/n I think you might've had a little bit too much to drink" he says scooting back from me to create some distance but I close that distance moments later. "No I'm fine, I haven't even had that much silly" I say, slowly starting to slur my words but still conscious enough to make them coherent. 
"Look I think that's something you should keep until you have a chance to give it to someone special. Someone who you care about and cares about you too" he says, trying to softly reject me but it falls of deff ears.
"I care about you though. Don't you care about me?" I pout and he shakes his head and tries hard to hide a smile but fails. "Of course I care about you darling but I think you're too confused and too drunk to be making this sort of decision" he say holding my shoulders at arms length to keep me from getting any closer to him.
"It's okay Mr. Jeon I know what I'm doing. Oh! I mean Jungkook" I say cutely, leaning in a bit more and his arms give in, letting me get a bit closer so as to not harm either one of us. "Don't worry I won't tell Jina" I say and he clears this throat at the sound of his daughter's name. 
"Y/n I really don't think this is a good idea" he says, watching almost helplessly as I place my hand on his shoulder and use it to anchor myself as I climb onto his lap and although his words have said otherwise, his hands are the ones that guide me by my hips to sit on his lap, giving me a boost of confidence in my decision.
"Can you do this for me?" I ask and his eyes ping pong between mine, seeing how blown out my pupils are and notices how hot my skin has become. He stays silent and just takes in all of my features and waits for my next move. I lean in closer to him and run my fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck. 
"Just take it" I say against his lips and without a seconds hesitation he grabs the back of my head and smashes his lips against mine. 
It's a mess of lips and tongue and teeth, accompanied by the sound of him groaning and pulling me closer and me moaning at the feeling of being desired by someone like him. Someone strong and confident and undeniably sexy. Someone who wants me just as much as I want him but before I can fully grasp what's about to happen I feel myself slipping away and lose control of my body. 
"Y/n?" Jungkook questions feeling my body slump against him after I had broken the kiss and rested my head on his shoulder. He smiles at the realization that I had fallen asleep in the midst of it all and wordlessly stands up, carrying me off into the guest bedroom and laying me down to sleep there for the night.
"Goodnight darling" he says, placing a kiss on my forehead before walking out of the room and slowly closing the door behind him.
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cottoncandyswisherz · 5 months ago
Text
working at the pyramid
this is long a fuck for no reason so its small font lol
Tumblr media
softdom!chris x stripper!reader
warnings: smut, unprotected sex (double wrap w aluminum foil) p in v, oral, (male receiving) pole dancing
-
the club is dark. all lights are off and the only thing you can hear is jay, our dj, yelling into the mic. 
"okay fellas, its saturday, you know what that means. its time for our favorite girl to do her thangs. make some noise for our money maker, our heart breaker, MISS CLEOOOO!" 
and the crowd goes wild.
the music starts and i strut onto the stage, in character. 
the projector displays a burning sun behind me, the lights shines a dark orange. this is my time to shine. all these men are here watching me with hungry eyes and i'm about to feed them. 
laying with my back on the ground i wait for my cue. 
wake up to your girl for now lets call her cleopatra i watch you fix your hair then put your panties on in the mirror, cleopatra
i arch my back and pull at my hair. then your lipstick, cleopatra then your six-inch heels, catch her she's headed to the pyramid
i roll over onto my stomach and stretch my arms in front of me, kicking my feet slowly, making eye contact with some shmuck in to crowd before turning back on my back.
she's working at the pyramid tonight
the beat drops and it begins. 
grabbing the back of my heels i raise my hips in a kegel position and grind my hips slowly in the air.
then i raise my butt all the way in the air, holding myself up and bring my knees together and twirl them before straightening one and pointing my toes over my head. keeping my legs in that position i slowly bring them down
pimpin in my convos bubbles in my champagne let it be some jazz playin top floor hotel suite twisting my cigars floor model tv with the vcr
back on my stomach i slowly bring myself on all fours and dramatically throw my head back, allowing my hair to fall down my arched back. 
got rubies in my damn chain whip aint got no gas tank but it still got woodgrain
i get on my feet and bounce before standing all the way up
got your girl working for me hit the strip and my bills paid that keep my bills paid hit the strip and my bills paid keep a nigga bills paid
prancing to the pole, i lock eyes with a white boy. like everyone else, he's got a shit eating grin on his face. but unlike everyone else, he doesn't throw 1's on the stage. he throws a flurry of 20's. 
i grab the pole and saunter around it twice, then press my back against it and grind again. 
time to climb this bitch. 
she's working and the pyramid tonight
i turn around and step around the pole before swinging and wrapping my legs around it tilt my head back and now i'm spinning, as the pole rotates. i do my tricks and shit, giving them the show they want.
keeping my grip, the pole stops and throw my head all the way back, allowing myself to be upside down. only for a second though because i place my hands on the floor and flip into a split as the beat drops again. 
the men go insane, and i'm showered in bills. 
you showed up after work, i'm bathin your body touch you in places only i know you're wet and you're warm just like our bathwater can we make love before you go
i grind to the beat in various positions, before bringing myself back to pole, placing it between my heel and shoe so i can limp all the way to the top. 
once i'm there i hook one leg around the pole and drop my head. upside down once again. i spread my arms out and spin. 
shouting and money flying once again. 
the way you say my name makes me feel like i'm that nigga but i'm still unemployed you say it's big but you take it ride cowgirl
after a few seconds, i bring my body back up right and slide down. with my legs under me, i move my hips, so it looks like i'm riding
but your love ain't free no more baby but your love ain't free no more
then i fall back so i'm laying on my back, like before i started. 
she's working at the pyramid she's working at the pyramid tonight
and the lights shut off. 
just like that, i move off the stage and go to my dresser and drink some water. 
5 minutes go by and i've caught my breath. thomas, another employee comes in with my earnings from tonight. but i don't have time to count it, so i put the bag in my locker and go out to work the floor. 
a few of my regulars make their usual requests and soon i'm $150 richer. i walk over to the bar and ask for a lemonade and while i'm waiting a hand taps my shoulder. 
"i'm on break. " i mutter in an agitated tone, not bothering to turn around. 
"i'll pay double." 
and just like that, I GOT MOTION!
i turn around and see the white boy from earlier. 
with a seductive grin, i shake my head. "go find a seat on the floor and i'll come find you after my drink."
"the floor?" white boy turns around and looks at the room, full of idiots. "no, i want a private room." 
"those are 150 an hour..."
"where do i pay?"
is he for real...
"usually people who want them have a group."
"just me."
wow.
"you pay up front." he pulled his phone out.
"you guys take apple pay?"
i was flabbergasted. "uh... yeah i think so."
"great. you finish your drink and i'll come get you when everything is paid for."
-
20 minutes later i'm stepping into a private room. 
"you can play whatever music you want. i can dance to pretty much anything."
this is so fucking awkward by myself. usually there like 5 of us in here with an equal amount of guys. 
but he won't see me sweat. 
"anything?"
"yup."
he pulls his phone out, connecting to the bluetooth. 
"okay you better be telling the truth." he begins searching for a song. 
he plays the fucking macarena. 
"be so fucking for real." i fight back a smile. "i'm half naked and you want me to do the macarena?"
"hey you said you can dance to anything." he chuckles, putting his hands up. he has a small duffel bag next to him. i can just smell the money in it. 
fuck it. i think then begin the dance. 
money falls at my feet as i do the routine and laugh. 
soon the song is over and a new one starts. 
this one slower.
i start with a little floor routine that ends with me on my knees, so i can crawl over to him.
placing  my hands on his thighs, i lift myself up and turn around so my ass is right in his face and i dance, dropping and coming back up. 
i felt his hands grip my waist, and usually, clients aren't allowed to touch us, but this ones fine as a motherfucker so i'll allow it. 
he pulls me down so i'm sitting in his lap, my back to his chest. i move my hips on him and he turns my head to the side so i'm kinda looking at him. then his hand grabs my neck and his other one drops 20's. 
the bills fall down my body and land in my lap and it's the hottest thing i've ever encountered. 
with a smile, i turn around so i'm straddling him and grind some more. i feel his erection on my clit through his shorts and it makes my pussy flood. 
if i keep looking in his eyes i'm gonna cum. so i look at the wall to distract myself. but that doesn't work because he grips my jaw and forces me to look at him. 
"eyes on me mama."
fuck. 
now we're locked in. eyes trapped in each other. i can't escape. 
but i have to. 
so place his hands on my hips and lean back, so my back is arched. 
i thought this would help. 
it didn't. 
one of his hands spreads on my belly and reaches up my front, his large hand on my chest. 
i come back up and decide no physical contact was the solution. 
so i get up and begin another floor routine.
he stands up and walks over to me, looking in my eyes a-fucking-gain so i turn around and dance until his hand is on my hips again with his other one the back of my neck, bending me over. 
and now we're lowkey dry humping. 
shit. 
standing up right again, i turn around and take a step back. 
i can't fuck him. i'll lose my job. i'll lose my dignity. 
"we can't-"
the motion is swift when he tugs me towards him and my body collides with his. my hands automatically come up and land against his chest, and my eyes fall shut. 
my fingers spread out, trying to feel as much of him as i can. 
his lips brush against my ear. "tell me to stop, cleo. tell me to stop, and i will."
i pull my head back enough to look at him and think. 
i have two options. 
1. walk out and do my job like nothing happened with the worst case of blue ovaries i've ever had. 
or 
2. fuck this man and walk out and do my job like nothing happened having had what i hope will be the best orgasm i've ever had.
i don't know about you but option two seems like the obvious choice. 
"i don't want you to stop." 
his fingers grip me tighter.
"you want me to fuck you?" 
my breath hitches and i slowly nod my head. 
"my name's chris. say 'yes, chris.'"
my thighs clench as i feel my pussy flood again. "yes, chris."
a sound leaves his mouth, then its pressing against mine.
i melt into the kiss. his full lips slanting over mine, demanding them to open. 
i try to focus. i try to remember who i am and that i'm a badass who refuses to submit to a stranger. i try to focus, but there's a lightening storm going off inside my body and i can't hold onto a single bolt. 
my arms wrap around the back of his neck, anchoring him to me. 
chris' large hands move up my side, the heat of them seeping through my skin and putting my body on fire. keeping the tips of his fingers against my ribs, he spreads his grip out until his thumbs trace along the underside of my tits. 
i lean into the touch. the press of his body against mine is divine torture. but then he's gone. 
his hands leave my sides at the same time his mouth leave mine. 
my eyes blink open, but instead of finding his gaze on mine, i find his hooded eyes focused on my chest. 
with slow movements, chris reaches behind me and unclips the bra i'm wearing. it falls at my feet. 
chris tongue slides across his lower lips as he eyes my pierced nipples. he uses his thumbs to rub over each one, the buds tightening and i can no longer stay quiet. 
letting out a whimper of appreciation, i raise my arms and grip his white tee. 
"fuck." he groans the words as he palms my breasts, leaving my nipples exposed between his thumb and index finger. "fuck." he says again, dipping down and taking one small barbell into his mouth. 
"oh god.." i groan, my fingers leave his sides and dig into his hair.
this isn't the first time someone has played with the piercings but with him, its so much better.
he tugs and pulls at my other nipple and i'm so needy, i'm ready burst.
"chris." i pant. "please, chris."
letting my breast pop free, chris stands back to his full height. 
my hands reach for the string of his sweat shorts, undoing the knot and tugging them down. 
dark, tight briefs are all that stand between his cock and my hands and i tug those down too until his erection bobs free. 
of course it's perfect in every fucking way. 
my fingers wrap around his length, gliding up and down. chris' hand closes over mine and squeezes, forcing me to grip him tighter. 
freak ass. 
"take off your panties." he squeezes my hand once more before releasing his grip.
letting go of him, i shimmy out of my thong.
chris strokes himself while saying, "gimme a spin."
i smirk and slowly twirl around, making a show of it, moving my hips to the music that's still playing. 
"you're fucking perfect." then he's stepping to me, lifting me, and walking me to the bar in the corner of the room. the surface has bottles and glasses on it, so i'm half on the bar and afraid of sliding off in a heap of embarrassment. 
but then chris is using his hands to spread my thighs and when he steps between them, all thoughts other than him leave my body.
my hands grab ahold of the bottom of his shirt and pull until he chest is naked in front of me. 
at this point i'm beyond wet. i should be embarrassed considering the fact that he hasn't even touched my pussy yet, but the look on his face is pure hunger. 
he taps my thigh and lets out a command. "wider."
i press my thighs open further.
chris runs the tip of his dick up the length of my pussy. "please tell me you're on the pill."
red flags wave in my peripheral. i should stop this. i don't know him. there are worries beyond pregnancy. this man is a fucking stranger.
but instead of being smart, i nod. 
chris growls gripping the base of his cock lining it up with my more than ready entrance. the hand not on his dick runs up  my side, squeezing my breast, pinching my nipple then gripping the base of my neck. 
he presses his lips against mine while pressing into me. 
his tongue shoves into my mouth and i'm filled with him. 
all i can feel his him. 
all i can taste, all i can hear, all i can smell is chris. 
i was bracing for a quick thrust. but this... this is slow.
i arch. i writhe. i moan. 
with both hands on my ass now, chris pulls me forward, so i feel all of him. he picks up his speed. pulling out, slamming in. over and over. 
his hands are everywhere now, tugging on my piercings, gripping my ass, feeling all the skin he can. 
"chris!" i cry out, feeling my orgasm approaching. 
"that's it." he moans into my mouth.
and thumb presses on my clit and i jolt in surprise. 
"oh fuck-" my head falls back.
he circles my clit, faster and faster, pressing harder and harder. 
"eyes on me mama." he demands. my eyes flutter open and find his. "good girl." his fingers don't stop.
"i'm gonna cum."
"that's right ma. cum for me."
that was the last piece of the puzzle. 
i shatter around him, shaking and convulsing.
"yes, chris. fuck! thank you. oh my god thank you-"
i'm a mess. from one fucking orgasm. 
removing his hand from my clit, chris steps back and pulls out of me, my body arching towards his, trying to keep the contact. 
he lifts me off the bar and sets me down in front of him. my legs are like jelly so i'm relieved when i hear him say "on your knees, cleo."
that fucking name. he's just took me to mars so i guess he can know my government. "my names y/n."
a smile spreads across his face as he presses a kiss to my lips and slides his had to my jaw. "on your knees, y/n."
i comply, dropping down in front of him. he drags his thumb across my lips. "open up." my mouth opens wide and allowing him to guide his cock between my lips. 
i close my mouth around him, sucking his length and it's like all his self control flies away. 
he gathers my hair into a ponytail and presses in deeper. 
"i wanna fill you up." 
please.
he pulls back and thrusts deeper into me until i feel him in the back of my throat. 
"i wanna watch my cum dripping out of that pretty pussy." 
fuck.
"i wanna cum all over your piercings."
jesus fucking christ.
"but you gotta go back to work."
WHAT?
he pulls all the way out, letting me breathe.
"let me back in." he says 
i open my mouth and hes back, deep in my throat. "that's my good fucking girl." he groans out and throws his head back. 
i let out a moan at the praise and his whole body shakes. 
"fuuuuuuuck.." his grip on my hair tightens and he looks down at me. 
he picks up the speed of his thrusts and fucks my face with so much force i have to lean back and put my weight on my hands to stable myself. 
i feel him twitch in my mouth and he goes to pull back but i wrap my hand around the back of his thigh and move my lips to his tip, sucking. his eyes cross and his load shoots into my mouth.
chris pulls me up by the ponytail and brings my lips to his in a kiss. this one was softer, but just as passionate. 
pulling aways he says "you know i have to see you again right?" 
"i'd like that." i whisper. 
"good girl."
niyah speaks 2930 words dawg. sorry i've been MIA. me and my boyfriend broke up lol. but uhhh im backkkkk
taglist: @mattslolita @mattssluttygf @muwapsturniolo @chaossturns
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