#Berry🛵🌻

[theonlyqualitytrash]

—I am continuing as I said.

You're my spirit animal. You get it. You really do! It's like our minds are in sync. I can feel a genetic connection.

For me, it clicked in my head the moment when Fyodor looked down at Atsushi in pure disgust, anger, and disappointment when Atsushi desperately begged him to save his friend's life. I think in that moment Fyodor saw himself in Atsushi - the man he once was - that innocence. He was reminded of the humanity he had lost over time - the same helplessness he had once experienced, the emotions so vulnerable that it caused him to lose everything (perhaps the first time he discovered his ability). I just know that that man will have the most tragic backstory imaginable and that I will bawl my eyes out. Slowly forgetting who you used to be, your family, your friends...watching everyone you love die…being condemned to centuries of loneliness because of an ability that's more of a curse than a gift...and the fact that he is deep down craving to bond with someone. I can’t even imagine how dehumanizing all of this must have been for him. To be betrayed and murdered over and over again, to witness all the horrible events throughout history... I am honestly worried about his sanity. Can we blame him for what he wants to achieve? I wish I could give him a big hug. 😞

I'm so angry at the anime for taking away those silly moments that showed Fyodor's remaining humanity and replacing them with serious scenes. They really disliked him, huh? By the way, agree with you. It is shallow to say being cold and calculating is all he is because his character is much, much more complex than that. I think his coldness and calculating are acquired traits. I find him to be one of the most mischaracterized characters by the fandom, and I think it's because most people don't actually care about the actual plot. They just want their favorite ships and characters to be the center of focus all the time so badly that they don't stop for one second to think and just complain about everything. Like okay, I get it, I want to see my favorite side characters too, but they are not relevant to the unfolding story right now. It wouldn't make any sense to suddenly show them like a commercial break while Atsushi is in a dangerous situation and being repeatedly traumatized. ☠️ Plus I feel like this kind of behavior is very disrespectful to Asagiri-sensei, to Harukawa-sensei, and to the work and the effort of everyone who has been working on this manga. I mean, no one is forcing them to read. 🤷‍♀️

I do not understand how some people don't like the recent chapters or the direction in which the story is going. Yes, it's a bit confusing sometimes, but I think that's the reason why this manga has become much more intriguing than ever before. Because it makes you think about every little thing. Asagiri-sensei is COOKING.

Finally, all the spotlight is on our main character Atsushi, and our main anti-villain Fyodor. I'm excited to see how things will take a turn. I think it's a good thing that there won't be any new chapters until February, it will give the fandom time to digest all the new information (and deaths 😭).

And now that Fukuzawa is gone too, Atsushi can either go berserk and lose control of Byakko, fighting with everything he has, and possibly manage to do some damage, but Fyodor would still be able to escape or he’d try to join him for the sake of getting the page from Fyodor (though I doubt Fyodor wouldn't have figured such a thing out the moment he tries to, but still). So, I don't think Atsushi will succumb to despair yet (but the concept would be very interesting to watch tho). That page is still a source of hope for him. (Plus the living members)

(I don't know about Viego but I LOVE Snape and the Undertaker as well. Heavy on the Undertaker, by the way.)

AND FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO LOVES MY BOI ATSUSHI FOR HE IS ONE OF MY FAVES TOO. I also really like Kyōka, Nikolai, Lucy, Dazai, Sigma, Ryūnosuke, Chūya, Aya, Higuchi, and Oda…

(proceeds to list almost the whole cast 💀)

But of course, despite all the above, there is only one person who 24/7 occupies both my mind and my heart... - Fyodor.

I'm afraid I'm too loyal. Even with fictional characters.

The message you wrote at the end of your answer means a lot to me, thank you. 🤍🌸🌺 Likewise, please try to take care of yourself and be sure to listen to your own advice too! I've never heard of holding an ice cube in your hands to calm down before, but I'm going to try it if I ever feel overwhelmed. I'm sure it will work as it's funny to even think about doing it. 😭

I loved reading all of your thoughts; it’s so refreshing to see someone else get equally excited about the same things I do! We can just geek out and deep dive without restraint, and that’s what I find niche about the internet—screaming into the void and having people scream at you back :))

I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. You’ve voiced my thoughts exactly! Although I understand why they cut certain scenes from the anime (animating is tedious, after all 😞), it still hurts because those moments were so important to Fyodor’s character and how people perceive him. No joke, I have a word document where I’ve listed all the times Fyodor smiles or shows any emotion—and spoiler alert, it’s a lot more than the anime lets on.

"I find him to be one of the most mischaracterized characters by the fandom"—THIS! Popular characters get mischaracterized the most because of their success. Fyodor’s definitely fallen into that category, and along with him, Chuya, Dazai, Poe, and Sigma have suffered the same fate. I think it ties into the shipping problem you mentioned: I’m not an avid shipper myself, but I understand it as a creative outlet. The issue arises when fanon (born from ships) starts overwriting the canon version of characters. It can be really frustrating when you just want to see a character explored more deeply without stripping them of their core traits. But, at the end of the day, I can’t blame anyone for enjoying what they do.

Regarding the recent chapters: I think a lot of people don’t like them simply because they don’t understand them—and that’s okay! Our community spans a wide range of ages, but most of the fandom is middle-to-older teens, and that poses a problem when you’re dealing with a seinen manga which is meant for an older audience; while the anime, being more accessible, appeals to a younger crowd. The recent chapters have been chaotic and packed with info, and casually dropping quantum physics? As someone who loves learning new stuff, I’m all for it! Asagiri does a great job of explaining it in a way that’s digestible, but I know it’s a lot to take in for some. (Anyway I will have Fyodor mansplain everything to me please)

As for Atsushi, I also don’t think he’s going to succumb to despair. He’s a tough cookie, and we saw that at the end of Season 5 when the anime was hinting at the fight with Amenogozen. Also after Tanizaki's death, I think people started to realize that all this suffering is just pushing Atsushi to grow. It’s painful to watch, but it’s necessary for his character development. I’m also really curious to see how Fukuzawa’s death will affect both Atsushi and Kyōka. (I have a feeling Lucy will play a role with the phone)

Gosh my heart aches while thinking of irl Dostoevsky's works and how they all somehow have the overarching theme that love changes, people can be reborn and redeemed: so I am holding onto the thread that maybe, just maybe-very cliche I know-the power of love will save Fyodor. That perhaps Atsushi has the power to make Fyodor redeem himself. But sadly he seems resigned to his role as the solitary genius who need to cleanse the world of people like himself.

don't mind me sobbing about his character again

Some other things I want to lightly touch on:

Undertaker is THE goat in Kuroshitsuji (I loved the new season, also we are getting the emerald which act in 2025???? Crazy. I remembered when I first read the manga in 2017)

As silly as it sounds the ice cube trick works because our brains register the cold stimuli and it stops releasing cortisol and other stress inducing hormones! It is a neat life hack indeed :>

---

Discussions like these really spark joy in my heart :)) Please take care while out there <3

Kisses and good vibes, Q

[literatureloverx]

Our marriage certificate 🤍

Hahaha.♥️

(He ripped it apart. Just saying.)

[thequimmqueen]

🍕Updated Next-gen Character Name List🍕

Timm+Quinn:

Lynn💘

Liamm🎵

Duke gotcha+Shannon:

Raymond📰

Sarah🔎

Joy+Moe:

Jamie🐦

Maya💮

Roy+Olivia:

Rolland📋

Hollie🍍

Hank+Kayla:

Dannah🚨

Safiyah💅

Cameo+Cherissa:

Sandy🍉 (previously known as Cairo)

Cori+Robby:

Russell🎣

Coralina🎏

Ember+Hacky Zack:

Burnett🚒

Axel👔

Zack🚧

Vesta✳️ (previously known as Ambar)

~~~

Romanos🇮🇹:

Guy Mortadello+Bruna Romano:

Marianna🚔 

Gavin🍷

Clover+Carlo Romano+Koilee:

Kōi🐠

Lotta🍜

Bento🎸

Ginevra🥁

Gino Romano+Okalani:

Georgina🍳 

Kalea👑

~~~

Mindy+Whiff:

Rebecco💄(also known as Becky)

Iggy+Sasha:

Haley🔬

Taylor+Peggy:

Stella📷

Marty+Rita:

Matilda🏈

Arthur📽️

Brody+Skyler:

Brandon📚

Abel🎨

Cielo🖌️

Emmlette+Kingsley:

Anastasia🎬

Kellen📹

Sarge fan+Radlynn:

Randall🍠

Sweety🎮

Radha🌟 (Adopted,Failed Offspring Harvest Experiment of Radley Madish)

Alberto+Penny:

Pilar🏵️

Benny🎤

Houton⚽️

Noemi🌼

Scarlett+Rudy:

Adonis♦️ 

Kore♥️

Cooper+Prudence:

Carrie🐈

Brooklynn🐕

Greg+Yippy:

Courtney🌻

Lily🐞

Johnny+Boomer:

Bloom🍀

Arán🌰

Autumn🍁

Chuck+Nevada:

Helena💐

Fawn💍

Snow❄️

Utah+Gremmie:

Caspian🐚

Genaya🌠

Hugo+Janana:

Tanner🎼

Maggie+Mitch:

Magnolia💼

Gunther🌮

Mousse+Sienna:

Gelatta🍦

Syrup🍮

Julep+Deano:

Tulip🌷

Leandro💉

Willow+James:

Jhonnen🛵

Whitney👻

Jenni🔧

Kenji+Zoe:

Eijirou👾

Amanda🦋

Scooter+Austin:

Roopert🌟

Audrey🛍️ (changed from Adrianna)

Connor×Wylan B:

Iza-B🎋 (adopted)

Deckard 🎧 (adopted)

Cassidy🥇(adopted)

Whippa+Georgito

Créme🍬

Graham📋

Drakson+Kasey O:

Kate🥋

Diego💌

Pinch+Bertha:

Paula⚾️

Abraham🏋️

"Ace"⭐ (real name is Jack, changed from "Jack Derby" due to the nickname not making sense)

Rico+Rhonda:

Roberto🏺

Jazz🏆

Xolo+Sprinks the Clown:

Xefferson🤹

Xandra+Rollie:

Xanna💥

Romeo⚗️

Professor Fitz+Edna:

🍀Jerry & Betsy☘️ (Clones)

LePete+Tohru:

Petra☀️

Koko🥊 (previously known as Kumako)

Ryu🎐

Haru🕹️

Cletus🐰

Pablo🪴

Pally+Trishna🍊:

Nina🍊 (adopted)

Nick🛶

Michael💙

Wendy:

Wendyl🔩

Índigo+NuMarcus:

Magenta👗

NuMabel

Cecilia:

Josefina🎒 (surrogate kid)

Allan+Akari:

Allison💰 (In custody of Allan)

Kuro🍋 (In custody of Akari)

Allan+Ivy

Eva🛩️ (child from second marriage)

JoJo+Louie:

Johann✒️

Lauren🥘

Mayor Mallow:

Molly💎

Crystal:

Shard🃏

Fila-sophie📚

Luau Lepunch+Betty Pecan:

Toasty Coconut🍨 (Scoopian+LePunch Hybrid,Looks More like Betty)

Gala Donut🍩 (adopted Scoopian Child)

Shelly Coir🌴 (Scoopian+LePunch Hybrid, looks more like Luau)

4th of July Scoopian:

Stardust🎆

Rocky Road:

Terrance Milch🍡

Jill Berry+Chip Mcmint:

Cranberry Jelly💝

Bianco Ciocco🍫

Sue x Mary:

Susan☎️ (adopted)

Sarge×Radley Madish:

Onnelious & Brown (Adopted/Used to be Two of Sarge's youngest soldiers)

💜Pines and Payne💙 (Mutated+Adopted Pinacoolada Twins)

Annana💛(Mutated+Adopted Bananapants Daughter)

Radetta💗(Sucessful Offspring Harvest Experiment)

Mr. Sherbet

Tiger Dail🐯

Tomatoe Lady:🍅

Campari🥫

Foodini:

Gabriel🎩

Ripley+Chase

Rodrigo🤓

Stephen🐍

Sprout:

Horia🥕

Skip+Daniela:

Railey🛎️

Kahuna+Makaila:

Koa🏄‍♂️

Big Pauly:

🧂Salt & Pepper🧂

Gabitha:

Tessa🐔

Bonnie & Yalanda:

Klaus💤 (Adopted grandson/apprentice)

Liezel+Kaleb

Scoops🍦

Hector🐻

Treble+Perri:

Damon⚙️

Geezer📻

Budwin+Lisa

Bucky💭

Zandro👾

Boopsy

Barnum 🪆 (Son)

~~~~~~~~~

Possible new Nextgens:

Simone:

Shira🎥

Didar:

Noah🎙

Yuko:

Ichika

Chester

Gordon ⛺

Petrona

Roman

~~~~

Roger GearSpeed🏁 (Real Name: ???)

[tteokdoroki]

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🍄, 🍓, 🌻, 🖤, 💜, 🛵, ♈️, 🦦, 👾✨, 🗝, 🦋, 🤍, 🕊, 🥀, 🐎, 🧚‍♀️, 🦅, 🦙, 💥, 🍦, 🌙, ⭐️🧃, 🍡, 🏳️‍⚧️,🐍,💃, 🍭,🌸.

glasses anon, clay shroomies anon.

[theonlyqualitytrash]

Dear Quality,

https://poomang.com/en/restylane

One of the accounts I follow reblogged this test. I was a bit bored, so I thought I'd give it a go. There were only twelve super short questions, anyway. I like taking these kinds of tests occasionally; they’re fun and intriguing.

I got romantic beige. It feels oddly specific. What about you? What is your aura color? :p

Hello hello dear Berry! 🌻

Your result is oddly accurate—I can totally see it! You struck me as someone really perceptive, always analyzing the world and the people around you. And "Romantic Beige" feels like a perfect fit for you: soulful, with a clear vision for how you want to be loved. ^^

When I first saw the quiz, I thought the questions were pretty simple and black-and-white, so I didn’t expect to feel so called out by the end (but in a good way, of course). Apparently, I am Aroma Mint! I can see myself in every point the result mentioned, but the part about planning my entire week really hit home: I’ve got a whole app dedicated to my tasks.

I’ll out myself here: call me Kunikida, because I need everything organized in my life. No last minute decisions for me, and I’m very particular about my schedule (a blessing and a curse sigh). And that bit about reflecting on what I say? That’s so me. Whether it’s face to face or through messages, I really take time to think about how my words come across.

Overall, it was such a fun and wholesome quiz! I hope more people see it and give it a go. Thank you again for recommending it to me—I really enjoyed it! <3

Sending you kisses and good vibes! 💛

[theonlyqualitytrash]

Dear Quality,

The new fanfic you recently posted sent me into a wonderland... Now I wonder what your favorite season is. Because what you have written made me suspect that you are a winter enthusiast.

While I love the colors of autumn (and obviously Halloween), I've always preferred the snowy weather of winter more than anything.

I love the way snow looks, smells, and tastes, and how it crunches under my feet. I can sit in front of the window for hours and watch the white flakes falling from the clouds and not get bored. ❅ It's also the perfect time to prepare a cup of hot tea, grab a blanket to bring into the living room, and watch a movie or read a book, snuggled up on the sofa wrapped in my soft blanket. And now it's also very pleasant to visualize myself with Fyodor doing the things you write about... I believe his favorite season would be winter too. I remember him saying that the color white reminded him of his homeland. He must love the way the snow covers everything during winter, like a white unsullied duvet, don't you think?

.

.

.

The long, dark, silent nights give me a deep sense of peace that I can't describe through words. It complements my melancholic nature. Everything is dying but I don't see it that way, to me it is rather a chance for a new beginning. That said, I consider winter to be the most romantic time of the whole year. And no, it is not because of February 14th. It's because it always makes me want to cuddle with someone you know. 🥺 I behave more affectionately towards everyone than I normally do. My friends call me a clingy koala.

.

.

.

Cute socks, cozy sweaters, warm woolen mittens, hoodies, boots, and long coats - I love them all. I like dressing in layers of winter clothes. While I don't really like being cold, I hate the hot and sweaty weather more than anything, it’s unbearable for me - plus there are no mosquitoes. Seriously, those blood-sucking vampires are my arch nemeses.

Thanks for listening to me yap about winter.

I’m excited to hear your answer. What is your favorite season? ♡

Dear Berry ^^

It’s so lovely to hear that you love winter… I am definitely a cold enjoyer myself!

Fyodor is most certainly also a winter person. The peacefulness and quiet that winter brings must appeal to him. Snow acts like a natural sound muffler, and everything seems to slow down—it’s almost quaint.

I also remember Asagiri mentioning that snow reminds Fyodor of his homeland, and that he sees himself as the colour white. He must get so homesick, and it breaks my heart... Honestly, all I wanted for Christmas was for Fyodor to get home and get some well-deserved rest. :((

When I was younger, I used to love summer, thinking it should be my favourite since I was born in the summer. But as I grew older, I found that I prefer cooler seasons. I miss the days when we’d get two-meter snowfalls as a child—those were the best, especially because school would get canceled. Now I crave visiting a country that gets snow because it’s something I can’t get where I am. :"))

I’d say my favorite time of year is late fall and early winter, and yes, you’re absolutely right—winter has become my favorite season. Not just for the reasons you mentioned (I wish I could burn all mosquitoes), but also because the early darkness makes me more productive. On days when I don’t have university, I love staying up until 3-4 a.m. writing, listening to music, and getting lost in my work.

Like you, I adore layering clothes. Sweaters, oversized coats—don’t get me started on fluffy scarves! I feel like a cute little granny with them over my head (I don’t wear hats because I feel like I look strange in them). And I just love winter activities in general. Just the other week, I went ice skating with two of my friends. I have no clue how to skate, but we had so much fun. (I was holding onto them for dear life)

I love reading your yapping, Berry, and I hope you're staying warm in your little corner of the earth!

~Kisses and good vibes, yours truly, Q 🤍

[theonlyqualitytrash]

Dear Quality,

I found myself thinking of you today! Everything going good for you lately?

I actually prefer to write to people anonymously under emojis (-🛵🌻 etc.), but I'm starting to think that it's not really necessary. I just love the vibe of being a secret, ykyk? There are questions I would like to ask to get to know you better. If you don't mind answering, I will try to write to you more often and keep your inbox busy. However, if I do not, know that I must be studying. 😪 I would be happy if you could also let me know what type of questions you don't want to be asked about so that I don't overstep any boundaries unknowingly.

I thought you might like this question. Here is the question I wish to ask you today:

What do you like about Fyodor? Since you said you will write mostly about Fyodor, I am assuming that he is your favorite character as well. What makes his character so fascinating for you? I would like to know why, in your own words and thoughts. Feel free to write as you like.

Have a lovely day and take care of yourself! 🤍

Dear Berry, (Can I call you that?)

Hello! Good day (or night), and all the lovely greetings that exist on Earth. Lately, I’ve been doing surprisingly well. I’m happy Christmas is around the corner, so I can give gifts to my loved ones. :> Today, I decorated the tree with my little brother, played outlast trials and bought some gifts for my Secret Santa at uni

I had a feeling you were 🛵🌻-anon! I’m glad you confirmed it, and I’m so happy you’re feeling more comfortable. <3 It makes me proud to know that I’ve created a space where you can push past your anxieties (that I think most of us have) and just exist in this corner of the internet. I completely understand your love for the anonymity; it’s liberating in a world where everyone’s eyes are on you

I might be totally wrong in what I’ve said, though—sorry if I read too much into it! oof—

I absolutely love getting questions, though! I was actually thinking about making an introduction post soon, where I share some general info about myself, my blog’s dos and don’ts, etc. It might make it easier to interact with me, so I’ll probably work on that in the near future

Generally, my ask box is open to most things—questions about BSD or anything else: my hobbies, music, philosophy, poetry, animals, fashion… really, anything as long as it’s respectful and doesn’t try to stir up drama or bring in politics. I try to keep things SFW, though I don’t mind NSFW content (I’ve written about cults and brainwashing, so it’d be hypocritical of me to mid it). If I don’t respond to something, it’s either because it made me uncomfortable or doesn’t feel relevant to my blog. I do like to communicate, though, so if something ever bothers me, I’m ready to type it out and vent. (I promise I’ll try to keep it funny! /j) I will probably include this a second time in my introduction post

---

Now, prepare THE ramble:

There are many characters in BSD that I cherish, like Atsushi, Louisa, Nikolai, Sigma, and Ango, to name a few. But you’re right—Fyodor holds a special place in my heart. His complexity makes him my main focus in my writing. I may write about other characters in the future (I have drafts sitting on my PC collecting digital dust, poor things), but Fyodor’s nature is just so fascinating and so fun to write for

When I talk about Fyodor, I can’t help but also mention Atsushi. I love both of them because they’re two sides of the same coin. They’re both trying to find their place in the world while striving to make it a better place (though their approaches are very different). Atsushi represents what Fyodor was before grief consumed him, and Fyodor represents what Atsushi could become if he succumbs to despair. What I find especially interesting is that Atsushi is, in a way, a part of Fyodor that he buried deep inside himself to achieve his goal—the untapped goodness, the desire to save everyone, the deep empathy and care. I’m sure Fyodor has these traits too, but he’s so consumed by sorrow and grief that he feels the only way to make a real change is to force the world to change

I’ve always loved anti-villains. Just give me a well-written one, and I’ll fall in love. Characters like Undertaker from Kuroshitsuji, Viego from League, and Snape from HP come to mind. Fyodor is similar in that regard. I think what first drew me to him was his gentle, almost otherworldly appearance in the manga (don’t get me started on the anime version; I will not forgive bones for taking my dainty prince away). His presence is soft and delicate, and even though his actions are dark, there’s something about his demeanor that keeps me intrigued

What really hooked me, though, was how misunderstood he is. He’s often portrayed in fanon as cold and calculating, but I think that oversimplifies his character. Sure, he’s serious and sometimes condescending, but there’s so much more to him than that. After rereading the manga and looking at what Asagiri wrote about him, I feel like I’ve discovered a whole new layer of Fyodor

I also love his politeness. Honestly, I just really appreciate politeness in people, and Fyodor’s refinement only adds to his charm (even if his actions don’t exactly match his manners)

Another reason I love him is that I can relate to a lot of his traits: his desire to change the world, his loneliness, his trust issues, his reserved nature, and even his nervous habit of nail-biting when stressed. And I think that’s why I’m so drawn to him: beneath all his guarded behavior, there’s a humanity that’s carefully concealed

sigh—I just want to show him some emotional vulnerability and let him rest, feel safe

---

Know that you matter! Always!

Exam season is coming up for me too, so I totally get the stress. But it's important to remind ourselves that in the grand scheme of things, that exam grade won’t matter in 5 or 10 years. The long nights of stress and anxiety are only going to make us unhealthy. So please, do take care of yourself! (And please don't feel obligated to keep my asks busy) Drink water, eat your comfort food, get the sleep you need (I’ll find you if you don’t), and maybe take a moment to step outside and breathe. Every emotion and feeling is valid, and if things feel overwhelming, try holding an ice cube—it’s helped me more times than I can count

And hey, if you need to talk, my DMs are always open. We can cry together. :))

Sending you kisses and good vibes! Good luck on your exams <3

[theonlyqualitytrash]

Hii! It is me again. If you don't mind sharing this information online, may I ask which pronouns are you using? I wouldn't wanna make a mistake when I address you. I hope you have a lovely day, Q. ^^

-🛵🌻

That is so thoughtful! I go by she/her :))

I am always delighted to hear from you ^^ ♥️ Take care 🛵🌻-anon

[theonlyqualitytrash]

I literally just finished reading your most recent fanfic about Fyodor and I am in LOVE. When I started to follow your account, I realized that you are also the author of the fanfic named "Momento". 😭 I would like to just say that I admire, no, I'm mesmerized by the way you are writing. AND YOU WROTE THAT IN TWO DAYS?!? Please keep this up. You're a real gem. Instead of calling you Quality Trash, can I just call you High Quality? I can't bring myself to call you trash. I'll be looking forward to your next masterpiece!!! ♥️♥️ Please take care of yourself , stay hydrated & eat plenty, have a good day, stranger on the internet.

Sincerely yours,

-🛵🌻

Dear 🛵🌻 anon,

The thought that my words touched people so deeply makes my heart almost burst from joy. I have always had a hard time expressing myself through speech, so I just naturally gravitated towards writing as an outlet for my thoughts. And the fact that people find it interesting enough to shoot me a message? I am both grateful and thrilled. ♥️

You may call me whatever you feel like, I heard people also address me as Quality or just Q, but High Quality is also alright if it feels right to you. ^^ As a side story, the username came to me a few years ago when I was struggling with mental health and I had an epiphany moment: I didn't need to feel ashamed about my sadder thoughts, just accept them as they are and live with them. I didn't feel myself important or interesting, the trash part came from how I viewed myself; but people around me saw me as a worthy human being, hence the quality part. So I decided to acknowledge both parts, both realities and create my username. (I have come accustomed to see things from both the 'bad' and 'good' perspective; there being no bad emotions or thoughts, just bad acts, but this is a blabber for another post)

Thank you so much for reading my ramble (I usually ramble) and for all of your kind written words, they had made me giddy and I am more motivated to write than ever; I am sending good vibes in your corner of the earth; I hope they find you in peace and accomplishment. ✨♥️

[literatureloverx]

Mama they made him a borzoi 😭

How dare they? 😭♥️ Is it only because he is Russian?

[literatureloverx]

Mother, this man's standards are way too high; I’m afraid I’m not worthy of him. 💔 Even my dream self isn't that perfect. In fact, I don't think there is such a human in existence; perhaps he wants a fairy? An angel? Or a goddess to worship? 😭 It's no wonder why he has been single for centuries and for years to come.

I do not blame him, though; after all, he is my standard...

First of all, I think you’re the kind of person Fyodor would love to be around because you’re always so thoughtful, kind and adorable.♥️

Second of all, no matter how much I sugar-coat Fyodor and his “toxic” traits (I should add here that I’d drink literal poison from his hand, for the record—so that’s not the issue here), he does have a flawed view of certain things.

He doesn’t trust people, and the likelihood of him lobotomising or manipulating his darling, trying to mold her into his idealised vision, is very probable. So, of course, his ideal type will be unrealistic, and that’s actually the point of his character, at least in my interpretation.

There’s really no need to worry about not meeting his standards—because, frankly, no one could. An angel, a fairy, or a goddess would definitely fit his criteria better than a human being.♥️

[literatureloverx]

Whatever. We didn't need a piece of paper to prove our love anyway. 💔💔

(consider me as Atsushi desperately picking up the scraps of the paper in this case)

You’re genuinely making me laugh, you know? 😭♥️

[literatureloverx]

Since everyone's sending you flowers, I refuse to fall behind. >:(

Dear mother, these surprise lilies are a heartfelt gift from me to you. Just as these beautiful flowers emerge unexpectedly, may your life be filled with moments of joy and beauty that catch you by surprise. I hope that, like these lilies, each new delight brings a sense of happiness and makes everything feel right again. You deserve all the wonderful surprises that the universe has to offer.

My dear Berry, thank you so much for these beautiful surprise lilies. Your words are always so soothing and supportive, filling me with warmth and peace. Please never forget that you, too, deserve all the love and kindness you so effortlessly share with me. You are, without a doubt, a precious angel. ♥️

[literatureloverx]

The Fairest One of All, our dear Snow White,

How have you been since we last spoke? What have you been up to? I hope you are in perfect health and good spirits! Are there any new fixations, things you've learned, or anything new you've experienced lately? I'd be happy to listen to you. :}

I am sending you lots of virtual hugs, cyberbullying you with my love. o( > ᗜ < )o ₊˚⊹♡ May your every day be a pleasant one. Knowing you, please remember to put yourself before others. You have a big heart, but even she needs to be attentively cared for, as you do for everybody else. You are so precious, Snow. I hope you know that. 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

I am aware I didn't write much to you for a while. I thought I was asking you too many questions, but I think you've answered them all already (I don't even remember them myself, so feel free to delete them if any are left). It's not easy to stay away from you. 😣 You have such a magnetic presence and a warm nature. But I don't want to overwhelm you or myself, as I believe everything is better in moderation. Let's say I'm trying to become more balanced with my interactions; I hope I'm not messing it up. I will be keeping it slow, writing once in a while. Also, I feel like it must be exhausting for you at times to reply to everyone and everything intently. Or I’m overthinking. As a fellow introvert, I guess you could have a larger social battery than I do.

I've been seeing many different and interesting anons join our cult family, and it makes me genuinely very happy!! I like reading their writing and your answers; they're stimulating. By the way, for the anon who was looking for some Fyodor fanfic, I'll recommend @/theonlyqualitytrash's blog. She writes truly amazing stuff; it was love at first sight for me to read her writing. And she's also one of the most kind and understanding people I've met here. So, I highly suggest it if they want to read something slightly long but well-structured and creative. 🥺 Speaking of cults, she has also written cult!Fyodor x reader. I don't know why I am loving this particular theme.😭

Ahem anyways—

To be honest, I know very little about astrology. Even though I myself don't really believe in it, it's fun to talk about it or to look on the internet to see what happens to match you according to your zodiac sign. It also seems like something you're interested in, and since the topic came up, I'm going to throw you some questions if that’s okay:

What are your thoughts on each zodiac sign? How would you rate your compatibility with them in general?

I'm definitely not asking because I want to see what you feel about my own sign

Sincerely yours,

-Berry

I’ve been doing fine, my dear. How about you? ♥️

I don’t have any new fixations, as my fixations tend to be very long-lasting, often lasting for multiple years.

Recently, I dreamt of a random lion on the beach, which led me to pester my brother into watching the first Narnia movie with me again because I enjoy watching movies with a companion.♥️

He agreed, but then put it off for several days because “he had things to do” (which really meant he wanted to game with his friends instead lmao). Anyway, I waited for two more days and ended up watching it alone. He randomly walked into my room, saw me watching it by myself, and got all pouty about it (serves him right, if you ask me, haha).

Thank you so much for “cyberbullying me with your love.” I’m bullying you back with my love too. ♥️ I truly appreciate your kind words, my dear Berry. Thank you, I’m doing my best! ♥️

You’re not overwhelming me, and as you’ve probably noticed, I answer asks when I feel comfortable and when I have the time. Feel free to send whatever you wish, and I’ll answer them gradually whenever I can. ♥️ Your compliments are incredibly heartwarming, but I think you might be seeing me as someone more superior than I actually am—I’m just a normal human being, like anyone else on here. You can always write to me whenever you’d like!

Children, give @theonlyqualitytrash ‘s blog some love. It definitely deserves more likes. ♥️

I’m aware that you read my astrology-related post, where I (jokingly) ranked each zodiac sign, so I’m guessing your question is more compatibility-related this time? I hope that’s okay.

I’ll consider other aspects that might theoretically be compatible with me because… I’m not someone who goes around asking people about their birth charts. So I can’t really base this on personal experience.

I’ll also take into account other aspects, not just the Sun sign, like the Moon sign (because it reveals emotional compatibility), the Venus sign (because it shows how we express love and affection), and the Mercury sign (because it relates to communication styles). I could take more aspects into consideration, but I need to keep this friendly for the people reading who aren’t as into astrology. I hope you have fun reading this! ♥️

Don’t take this too seriously (I stereotyped every single placement haha).♥️

Aries

Sun: I never had any good experiences with them… I’m sorry. It’s a no for me.

Moon: Okay, so with my Moon sign being in Libra, and Aries being Libra’s opposite/sister sign, I’ve heard this could be a good match for me. However, I have no personal evidence to support this. I do see the potential, though.

Venus: Again, Venus in Scorpio is supposed to be compatible with Venus in Aries. I’m not against it, I suppose?

Mercury: An absolute no from me, I’m sorry. What do I gain by communicating with someone who is as impulsive as an immature child? Nothing, dear children. Nothing at all.

Taurus

No need to dissect in sections. I love Tauruses in all shapes and forms, haha. (Tone down that stubbornness though, I’m begging you.)

Gemini

Sun: They are fun to be around. I like them, but the likelihood of me committing to a deeply rooted friendship or a romantic relationship with them is highly unlikely. (Unless it’s Dazai, of course. Lmao.)

Moon: A fellow Moon in an air sign. I see the potential— it could work.

Venus: Uhm… no… (We would be “you don’t own me” x “but you belong to me” haha.)

Mercury: I imagine this placement to be rather flaky, with a hyperactive communication style, which doesn’t resonate with my love to dig as deep as possible when talking about interesting topics.

Cancer

Sun: I’m optimistic. It would likely work… as long as it’s not someone who is overly, stereotypically emotional.

Moon: I’m not entirely sure, but why not? Libra and Cancer might not match directly, but I think it aligns well with my Scorpio stellium overall.

Venus: Theoretically speaking, this could definitely work. In fact, it might even feel magical.

Mercury: I think this is a great placement compatibility-wise. We could have fascinating, deep-dive conversations.

Leo

Sun: From a theoretical standpoint, it’s not a great match for me. You’re not everyone’s sunshine—you’re supposed to be my sunshine. Tch. (Though I’d probably choose the moonlight over the sunlight anyway, but that’s beside the point.)

Moon: This could actually be a good match. The thought intrigued me as I was considering it.

Venus: YES. (I love generous people.)

Mercury: To be or not to be… that is the question. In this case, Mercury Leo’s are not compatible with me.

Virgo

Sun: Theoretically speaking (yes, you’ll be hearing this often), we should get along well.

Moon: Did you lose your feelings when you were born? Quite restrained, aren’t they? Haha, just kidding, of course. In fact, I do like them.

Venus: Please no…🥺

Mercury: I find this placement rather intriguing! I can imagine us spying on people together, hahaha.

Libra

Sun: I love them as my friends. They’re so comfortable to be around, but I don’t necessarily see it as a good romantic match. However, it really depends on their other placements. For example, I could handle a Libra Sun-Scorpio Moon combo well.

Moon: My Moon-twins. ♥️ I feel like this is a very good match! We’d just be vibing together, haha.

Venus: The sign is in the right placement. For me, it would be okay… but would it be okay for the person with that placement? As a friend, yes. As a romantic partner, probably not.

Mercury: This placement seems like a very balanced form of self-expression, which I appreciate. I imagine people with this placement tend to be soft-spoken.

Scorpio

Sun: We get along very well, so it’s a definite yes from me—both platonically and romantically.

Moon: I’ve never met anyone with this placement, but I think I could handle the intensity well and even balance it out.

Venus: To whoever has this placement—same here. I know it’s rough. Let me give you a hug. Overall… YES. (Let’s be possessive of each other. ♥️) As an aside, the Libra friend I’ve mentioned also has this placement, and even in a platonic relationship, it’s amazing. I can only dream of a romantic one.

Mercury: Again, we’re one of a kind. Which I like. So, yes, again.

Sagittarius

Sun: Haha. In the most loving way possible: no. ♥️ —at least in the romantic sense. To be honest, we really don’t have much in common platonically either.

Moon: I’m not sure…

Venus: As a friend, probably fine. As a romantic partner, a definite no for me. My Scorpio stellium does not vibe with this pairing—sorry!

Mercury: Sure, why not? I’d love to have philosophical discussions with someone who has this placement. I hear they have fascinating views.

Capricorn

Sun: It’s said that Capricorn is one of the zodiac signs that pairs well with Scorpio. I can see the potential.

Moon: I’m not so sure about this one…

Venus: I think this could be a great opportunity. To be more precise, I see it working.

Mercury: YES. The cut-throat, borderline brutal style of communication because they want the best for you? Just yes.

Aquarius

Sun: YES.

Moon: My brother has his Moon in Aquarius… I’d likely avoid it if I can, haha. I may not be overly emotional, but I do sometimes need guidance. I’d probably expect that more in a romantic sense. However, as a friend, this placement is great!

Venus: Again, as a friend, very great.

Mercury: This is an excellent placement, in my (very biased) opinion, haha. I do love the intellectual tone and expression of Aquarians, particularly Mercury Aquarians.

*Malicious giggle because you wanted to know what I think about your sign, but I knowingly put it at the very end. Hehehe.*

Pisces

Sun: You have all failed me up until now, dear Pisces. It’s only going well with one of your fellow Pisces so far (and you too, of course, my dear berry). Her cardinal-sign shenanigans of not being able to control her emotions whenever they bubble up can still be frustrating, but I’m managing. Overall, as a friend—platonically, a maybe and an okay. Romantically, an ABSOLUTE no. (With all due respect, of course.) Also, I’d like to add: Pisces men have it rough in this world. Bless them.

Moon: My friend—the Libra one—is a Pisces Moon, and it works perfectly in this specific combination. Platonically speaking, I love this placement, and we’re very compatible.

Venus: Theoretically speaking, we should be compatible. But somehow, I don’t believe in this. I think it’s because most Scorpios like to be the lead and the dominant type (whether in platonic or romantic relationships), while this isn’t the case for me. I can’t treat my man as a princess—I’m very sorry. Other Scorpios love you, though, I’m sure.

Mercury: We’re likely compatible, but I wouldn’t enjoy it. Again, I don’t like to lead conversations or lose rationality in discussions altogether. I can handle it for a while, but at some point, it might get exhausting. The intuition-based conversations could be a plus, though.

[literatureloverx]

The Fairest One of All, our dear Snow White,

What is love? Do you believe it exists? In your own words, can you define it? ♥︎

Sincerely yours,

-Berry

What a beautiful and thought-provoking question. Truly, one that holds so much depth.♥️ I can’t recall anyone asking me this before, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to explore it.

Yes, I do believe that love exists. I assume you’re referring to romantic love, so I’d like to distinguish that from platonic love, as I feel they differ in many ways, even though, ultimately, they lead us to the same destination. This will be a bit of a ramble, and I anticipate it will be lengthy, so please bear with me.

To me, love—whether platonic or romantic—is always selfless. Conditional love, while it may be seen as something earned, does not, in my view, qualify as true love. The love that matters is unconditional.

True love, I believe, is not something that should be earned or tested. It is a gift given freely, without the need for anyone to prove their worth to receive it.

Platonic Love: When I think of unconditional love, it often takes the form of the purest expression seen in the parent-child relationship. This, for me, is the epitome of platonic love—a love that flows freely, with no strings attached. It is love that is given without expectation or conditions, a love that is simply a part of the relationship itself.

Romantic Love: Romantic love, I believe, has its roots in the same wellspring. It too must be unconditional, selfless, and freeing. When handled with care and respect, romantic love can bloom into something profound, perhaps even evolving into what some would call “true love.” At its core, I think it leads to the same goal that platonic love does—a love that is unwavering, a love that, like the love a child receives from their parent, is unconditional.

There is a thought I’ve often pondered (likely because I’m surrounded by “proud and independent women”): I don’t reject behaviors that might be considered “enslaving.” I think this only applies when that understanding is not mutual. A love that isn’t reciprocated will eventually become a cage, and I don’t believe that freedom is as glorified as it’s made out to be. In truth, none of us are ever fully free. So, why not embrace the cages we’re already in, and find happiness within them? When love is mutual and understood, it can set us free. There is nothing that mutual understanding can’t liberate, and that includes love itself.

For me, though I believe in love, I don’t feel the excessive need for a soulmate. Perhaps there is a soulmate for me, who knows? I think anyone would love to be with their “soulmate” or “other half,” and I think those who truly wish for it will likely find it. But what I truly need is someone to love and support me, someone who can offer stability and strength in return. (I hope that doesn’t seem too abrupt, following all the romanticising; I just wanted to be entirely candid here.) Often, our wants and our needs don’t align, and that’s okay. What matters is finding the balance between them.

Bonus: This isn’t directly related to my understanding of “love,” but I thought it might be interesting to share. I mentioned this in a Fyodor post before, but in case anyone doesn’t want to read the entire post, I’ll just copy-paste it here.

Excerpt:

To understand why he wouldn't fall for just any type of darling, we need to look at the biological anthropology of romantic love: This is a brain system, like the fear or anger system, which can be triggered instantly. The aspects that need to be fulfilled are:

1. The person (in this case, Fyodor) must be ready for it. Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, calls it a "Love Map." This "Love Map" is an unconscious and conscious list (which I would say, in Fyodor's case, is more unconscious of what one looks for in a romantic partner.

2. When the person is ready to fall in love and meets the darling, and the darling fits within the "Love Map," even a small positive interaction can trigger the brain circuitry, leading to romantic love.

It is more of a biological process than a truly loving and accepting one, as those criteria come into play later, in what is called "Attachment," the other brain system.

[literatureloverx]

The Fairest One of All, our dear Snow White,

My apologies for responding a bit late. This is a reply to your recent response to me. Actually, I was going to write this in the comments, but I suppose this got a bit long. Heheh. I am doing okay! I am currently on semester break, and I want to use my time wisely and improve myself. Likewise, my fixations are usually long-lasting, but some of them suddenly come and go just as quickly as they came. They are fun, nonetheless.

A lion on a beach? I wonder if it means anything. It sounds symbolic or foretelling, unlike the chaotic dreams I have. When I think about the beach, it is a place I find soothing and serene no matter how I imagine it. Maybe it was about finding your inner peace or gaining a deeper understanding of yourself. Or perhaps you need time to relax your mind and focus on your mental health. I'm not sure, but I think it definitely holds an emotional or spiritual meaning. Lions are powerful, noble, and fearless creatures; they are the lord of the jungle for a reason. They have a very dignified, calm aura that holds authority. Seeing a random lion on that beach could be representing some kind of protection or maybe taking control over your own life. I would say it's more about protection; maybe it's guiding you on that beach and being the guardian of your sea of emotions. ^^ I'm not a dream interpreter, though. But your dream sure sounds intriguing. I wish you many pleasant dreams. Perhaps one of these nights, you two will meet again.

Nope, your brother had it coming. He has no right to sulk. He should have appreciated that beautiful offer. 😠 He should make it up to you next time. Nevertheless, I hope you had a great time watching the movie. Do you have any thoughts about it? Did you like the film?

It was entertaining for me to read what you have written. You are genuinely funny, you know. You are such a mood. 😭 Asagiri needs to tell us more about Fyodor so we can look up and read his birth chart. Like, people don’t understand. I have to learn everything about him. I want to crawl under his skin and just live there forever, and I want to know every single thought in his head. I want to understand him better than anyone else ever could. 😣 sighhhh

Returning back to the topic, apparently my this is my birth chart:

Chat, am I doomed? 🥺 (I didn't know astrology was so confusing. I don’t understand anything. How do people read this, what does this meannnn)

And I'm also curious about the Pisces who hurt you to that extent. I wonder why they acted like that. I can tell by the way you talk about them how exhausting they must have been. And then the audacity to suddenly cut off their friendship with you after everything you have done for them? Wow. Perhaps it was the best for everyone. Otherwise, your energy would continue to be consumed, and it would also have affected your well-being. I'm glad you were able to get people like them out of your life. You didn't deserve to be treated like that. You deserve friends who don't use you. Too much is too much.

~~~

If admiring your whole personality, manners, and opinions and seeing you as someone to look up to gives off the impression that I think you are superior, I assure you that this is not the case. I am aware that you are a normal human being like everyone else here. You're only 2-3 years older than me, and you are just a girl who is still very new to the world around her, like the rest of us, trying to figure things out and achieve her dreams. Yet I think you are intellectually and emotionally more mature and wise than most people I know. And the things I said about you before, I always mean what I say. I wouldn't even have spoken if I felt differently about you in the first place.

I'm not very good at explaining myself, so I'll try this: Those around me often tell me that I am emotional and have a fragile heart. Which I think is not a good thing because it makes me feel weak. And because I'm like that, when I use my logic, I'm not taken very seriously. I know I'm a bit more sensitive than others, but I simply can't tolerate mean, harmful behavior. Injustice infuriates me. So, I guess I sometimes feel as if I may come off as intense for some people. That's why I can sometimes talk in a worried or apologetic manner (which is why I think you thought I saw you as someone superior); I just don't want to annoy you (Because rereading what I wrote afterward is so embarrassing, like, oh goddd😭why I am me). And since we are on social media only, I don't want to cross your boundaries without realizing it. You are also the first blog I talked to on Tumblr, and your writing has a special spot in my heart and always will.

In my eyes, you are one of those people who is too precious for this world; you are so warm and perceptive, authentic and soulful, and polite to everybody. Behind your mature personality is a preserved pure, childlike side of you, yet you are not naive by any means. You have so much love inside you, but you probably can't give it out as much as you would wish to because it's dangerous in the world we live in. You don't want your kindness to be taken advantage of or used against you. Romantic relationships can be especially frightening given the stories we are told every day. Using this blog is probably one of your ways of spreading that love, for example, through a character who embodies your ideal partner and through chatting with your followers. It is your safe space as much as it is ours. I'm not good at analyzing people, like some of the others on this blog, so I'm just saying how you make me feel or think. I would love to be friends with a person like you in real life (is this what they call a friend crush?). I may not be the kind of girl everyone wants to be friends with, but at least this is how I feel about you. I think you deserve to know how wonderful you truly are. And for what it's worth, this internet stranger's opinion. I want to be a gentle reminder to you and tell you that you are more than good enough in case there comes a time when you underestimate your own value and potential. A person like you, who can express her thoughts without fear and pour them into words in such a clear, well-spoken way, inspires me. I hope to become a woman like you as I grow up and heal from my past. To be able to be freely and unapologetically myself. 🫶 That’s all.

I meant it when I said in one of our conversations that I imagine you as the older sister I never had. In my dreams, you are. And I guess in your imagination, I am just one of your children. No matter how it is, I love the home you've built here.

If you have read this far, thank you. I wish you a joyful, bright, and refreshing day in which everything works out in your favor. ♡

Sincerely yours,

-Berry

Hello, Berry! ♥️ What are your plans for self-improvement, my dear? I should mention that I really admire it when people make an effort to better themselves in any way—most people, in my opinion, simply don’t care enough about this.

As you’ve already said, dreams always hold meaning (whether viewed spiritually, psychologically, or both), and I do tend to have vivid dreams with the most random elements, haha. I find your interpretation of mine very intriguing and creative. It will likely make me dwell on it further.♥️

Regarding the film, I watched it two or three times during my childhood, so rewatching it felt nostalgic, warm, and cosy. My favourite character has always been Aslan. In fact, the first time I saw the movie was in Turkish dub, and I only realised years later that his name was literally “Aslan” and not simply “Lion,” since “Aslan” is the Turkish word for “lion,” as you know, haha.

Also, being called funny is one of my favourite compliments (and I’m grateful for it because I’ve been called funny so often lately—whatever I’m doing seems to be working, so I’ll keep doing it to entertain you!).

I feel the same way about Fyodor. I’d love to crawl into both his brain and his heart to study every fibre of his being, if that makes sense.

I’ll be sending you a mini-chart reading via DM soon, so stay tuned for that. I think we’re compatible. I like your Venus in Aries and your Moon in Gemini. We’re both water signs with air sign moons, which is lovely. You’re emotional but not overly so, which I appreciate.

You’re very much right about Pisces. I tried to talk things out with the last one about a week ago, but the sheer amount of ignorance and self-victimisation drove me crazy, so I decided to let it go.

Somehow, you saying that you mean everything you say reminds me of myself when I try to explain that I genuinely mean everything I say, haha. So, I believe you. I find the sheer amount of love and care you show me to be both inspiring and sweet, though I’m not sure I deserve it.

Your perception of me is spot-on, which is both unnerving (in a good way) and flattering. You summarised my childlike side perfectly, despite me not being entirely naïve (though my family would likely disagree with this, haha). You also captured my overall personality very well. I think you’re understating yourself, though. I hope you’re able to see your own depth.

Romantic relationships are indeed hard, which is likely why I’ve never had one—or perhaps because I’m too much of an “all or nothing” person.

I’m currently brainstorming how to convince my mother to adopt you. We could become sisters, and you’d watch every movie I wish to watch with me, wouldn’t you?

Of course, I’ve read this far. You didn’t really think I wouldn’t, right, my dear? Thank you again for this lengthy analysis and your thoughtful words. I truly appreciate your support and love. I’m not sure if I can express how much I do, but I really do.♥️