#that would turn pretty bad i guess
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr has been banned in Indonesia for providing people with access to pornographic content.
Text
Dread be dreading
#ughg#i usually have awful thoughts randomly popping up here or there#make me pretty anxious for a few days then i won't think about them for a while#but man i can't handle doubts suddenly resurfacing#like this monday i was listening to my last lecture and everything bad i cooked up a in the past few months hit me like a truck#couldn't even focus i was too busy internally chanting shit fuck i don't want this i made a huge mistake shit shit#i won't be able to handle all this responsibility i'm so tired this will butcher my mental health should have chosen media studies fuuuck#what was i thinking what am i gonna do help#then proceeded to distract myself with an electric outlet otherwise i might have started crying#:/#and those thoughts aren't wrong unfortunately#i love this university and the classes and the things i study#the teachers and my classmates and the kids i got to take care of#but i don't think i could do this for real#i'm not even struggling with anything i'm just scared and tired as hell#and thought i could just. power through it- like if i'm stubborn enough it won't matter that it's draining#but damn#and hell originally i came here because i wanted to teach english to kids#i guess my expectations were too high i don't feel like i've learned anything that useful this far#and turns out it won't get better#we just gonna do presentations again#to be fair i loved researching nursery rhymes but i hoped we would have... more. of that#also about media studies. chief... i crave to be there#could have picked the english specialization there too- i'm a moron. a bozo. holy shit#well. gonna go through this semester either way. because again everything i study here (almost everything) is genuinely great and useful#and perhaps i'm just in a Pit right now#the dread pit#should probably break this to my sister. somehow#random squeak
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
btw in case anyone was under the impression that that "trans staff makes a statement" thing was meaningful at all, still seeing tranny blogs get vanished
#you think someone would do that? just go on the internet and tell lies about their intentions and priorities??#turns out its still pretty easy to say “I hate boot rubber” around a mouthful of it I guess#fucking hate this widespread habit of reading so much good faith in even the most petite of authorities#and nothing but bad bad bad in the words and actions and existence of the vulnerable and hated#“idk who would just go and respond to someone's mere existence with ravenous destruction? they must've done something to deserve it”#all we've ever had to be is an acceptable target. they'll find whatever excuse they need or they'll just erase all the evidence and shrug#okay sorry tag rant over.
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why is everyone in this godforsaken camp sniffing my lizard?
#ronans trying to have a nice day intimidating people and holding astarions hand#and the wizard and the druid keep trying to catch a whiff i GUESS#anyone else? shadowheart? im assuming lae'zel because shes a certified freak#wylls too busy having daddy issues#anyways i turned down halsin for character reasons#also considering ronans been pretty encouraging about the not having sex thing with his vampire#it would make sense for him to feel weird or kind of not great about the idea of sleeping with someone else#he doesnt want to make his guy feel bad or put him on the spot about letting ronan go find sex somewhere else#that seems like a mean conversation to have to him so he told halsin nah#just not even gunna bother#he went without for like 11 years or whatever he can go for 11 more if he has to#if they live that long#i am curious about what that convo with astarion is like re: asking if you can go boink the bear#i shouldve did a save and reload oh well#bg3
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
The sillies
#flask rambles#Treating Zant like a princess since the manga makes me feel so bad for him#My silly brain headcanons Yuga turning people he finds pretty as painting as a means of flirting sometimes#Idk it would be a high praise from him since he’s all artsy#Also oc/persona would probably get dizzy if Cia flirted with them#Vaati is kinda like a friend/familar here I guess
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have three different endings in mind for the story I'm working on and I just can't quite decide which one to go with
#the original one was kind of bittersweet and then i thought concerning the subject matter and queer themes etc maybe a kind of happy ending#would be more important and more powerful but it just goes against my nature a bit lol#but now I'm also thinking about a true Bad ending turning the whole thing from unsettling into actual horror and it's sooo tempting but also#a bit boring in the end because. well don't we always get bad endings anyway. it also just really muddies the waters when it comes to the#actual point of it all so i think i have to resist the temptation there a bit and go against my doomer instincts#it's still between the bittersweet and the pretty much happy one then though#and i want to give these characters a simple happy ending but it just. doesn't really ring true for me idk#I'll just have to think about it some more i guess
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes
#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit#and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While#like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days#we shall see#also ajr live fucks severely#the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience#like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad#like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go#so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times#notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with#and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what#idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath#much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck#so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb#the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares.#however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least#meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion#prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got#taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert#so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school#and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player#and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap#like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible#which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up.#the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow#her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated#like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most#and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills.#like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard#fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#wanna get back into toh but the bits and pieces of stuff ive seen on tumblr and ig is. rancid#the show will always be good and dear to my heart despite its flaws#but the fandom?#theyve sandpapered down luz and the lumity ship in general and removed anything that made them interesting#instead of focusing on any of the relationships between characters that they spent all show building up#instead theyre just spamming the tags with mindless h/u/n/t/l/o/w fluff#bc compulsory heterosexuality i guess#im sure there are still a lot of ppl who make great art and fics for toh#and im sure a lot of ppl are still having interesting discussions about parts of the show that i would want to talk about#however i go into the tags and am immediately assaulted with hunter and willow playing out hallmark movie scenes#and i immediately lose interest#tbh the crew played into this shit towards the end too and it felt super cringe#not just the huntlow stuff but also sanding away any of the bite with lumity or even the clawthorne sisters#and not doing anything with willow and gus except for one scene shoved in last minute#they were more interested in catering to fandom stuff than telling the actual story even if it turned out pretty alright in the end#this is just a problem with rly big fandoms mostly#this is what happened to star vs the forces of evil i think#dont quote me on that i stopped watching in season 3#anyway owl house good fandom bad#how dare fandom not cater to me specifically#i want to participate in fandom but i dont want to do the main activity of fandom#which is to sift through piles of garbage to find stuff that i actually like#shut up pandora
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok i've been feeling under the weather (chronic, not covid) and i've been binge watching warrior cats infodumps/video essays and.... hhhhhh do I REALLY want to reread half the series to make a post about my leopardstar apologism?? becuse girlie deserved better and if she was written better she'd be everyone's favorite literal wet cat pathetic girlfail girlboss tragic character but nope. got vriska'd but like in a 'shallow without redeeming qualities' kinda way
#like ok let me go down the list of my unorganized opinions about her#<<long tags. also edit i talk about pokemon paul too i guess#this is barely even canon commentary because in canon she was a bitch who died of diabetes. this is me exploring her canon potential#first off. i just like her unique pattern#and i'm a riverclan stan#second. orphan who was raised by the village and adored and doted on#would inevitably lead to her feeling like she had to fulfill those expectations and setting high goals for herself#AND SHE REACHES THEM!!!!! she is motivated and strong and determined#but she's also iirc pretty young as a leader but age in wc is more of a crapshoot than even pokemon which. yikes lol#so. very young leader who has high expectations on her and also high expectations of herself#desperate to prove herself#and so. strong and iirc described as handsome tom comes along and manipulates her into joining his new megaclan#SHE IS YOUNG AND WANTS TO DO WHAT'S BEST#FOR HER CLAN#also tigerstar is like. top manipulator supreme. apologism and all but leopardstar was a victim idc#that turns out to be. you know. bad. tiger is trying to kill her clanmates which she did NOT sign off on#so she has to deal with that SUPER EARLY in her leadership#so we come out of arc 1 with a new leader who's seen more in her first like what. year. than many leaders do in a long time#so after joining tigerclan of COURSE riverclan secludes themselves more#it's a protective measure!!!!!#riverclan is going THROUGH it in series 1#and ngl i barely remember the rest of the series with ehr because they kinda forget she exists#except to have her go crazy and die#which. hm. a choice.#but wc is known for their. choices. of the odd variety.#and for ignoring character potential#i dub this the paul problem (pokemon).#where they will not commit to making a character a true villain OR to redeeming them#and isntead just placing them in 'annoying bitch who is just kinda eh' territory for the msot part#i do like paul do not get me wrong. i could fix him
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
aw man. for a minute there I thought I might be allowed to take Ibuprofen again since I stopped taking the antidepressant that I was on. but sadly no, you're also not supposed to take it when you're on the anxiety medication I'm on 😔
#I guess I could take it anyway... but the leaflet says not to so I won't#this reminds me of thr last qtime I went to the ER because of my stomach pain (that turned out to be gallstones)#before I went there I called the.. idk on call emergency doctor or whatever#and it was this awful awful woman. anyway she said I should just take Ibuprofen so I said I'm not allowed to take that because it's a#blood thinner and I'm not allowed to take those#and she was really mad and said no it's not. it's pain medication 🙄#I was in so much pain and also kind of stunned by her reaction so I just. hung up#like I know it's not. I guess technically considered a blood thinner? but it does increase the risk of bleeding and that's why you can't#take it with certain other meds#which I think is irrelevant tbh. it's pretty clear what I meant and it's kind of. scary that this doctor would tell someone who says they'r#not allowed to take Ibuprofen to take it anyway. especially since I was having extremely bad stomach pain with no known cause at that point#like that feels dangerous#but anyway what do I know (nothing)#I miss Ibuprofen though 😔 I hate paracetamol#personal#cw medical#(also just. generally. being told to 'just take Ibuprofen' when you've already told this person that you've taken a looot of stronger pain#meds already and they're not doing anything at all is just. wow such great advice thank you! so helpful!)#(I mean I'm glad she was useless because that's why I went to the ER and they finally found out what's wrong. but still 🙄)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
shout out to everyone witnessing my writing crisis on the dash. im gonna walk into the sea
#to be fr#i want to write hurt/comfort#with link and taylor#because after everything link said to grant at the end of episode 37#i think he would be so unbelievably shaken up#and like i wrote link comforting taylor#bc his dads taught him grounding exercises#but i also feel like#like in episode 7#grant said when link is anxious he gets scared link will turn out like him#and i feel like#links household has a little bit of happiness is the most important and everything else is kinda bad for you to experience#vibes#so i feel lile#he would be pretty shaken up#but also not show it#and i know that when i'm in that situation#that leads to dissociation#so i was thinking of writing a fic of link dissociating like. right after that#like i guess#dndads spoilers#but like#the catbus ride maybe?#is when it would really sink in or i guess not sink in because repressing emotions or whatever#everyone has their own shit going on obviously but taylor objectively has the least shit going on (doesn't know what happened w/ his mom yet#either)#so i was thinking of writing taylor noticing that link is really fucking shaken and not quite knowing what to do because he isn't really one#for comforting in that sorta way#but still trying to help#and maybe it helps a bit maybe it doesnt i don't know. I DON'T KNOW ☹
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cleaned my desk last night (long overdue) and now there are only two projects on it!
#i have too many crafts#turns out that i can only take mending in small doses#because i quickly get sick of the tedium#(and weaving in ends)#haven't decided whether or not i want to redo the sad mitten#(may throw it in the wash and see what happens#can't go wrong right? it's already too large#suspicious of the yarn's superwash claims...it's merino and i guess i do have a number of superwash merino articles#(socks mainly and a shirt in my childhood home for a hiking base layer)#but it's supposed to be pretty feltable right?#idk. haven't yet learned enough about what is done physically/chemically to make a wool superwash#vaguely aware that stripping the scales tends to be a bad idea so i'm assuming the fibers are coated?#and that would probably have to be post-dye#although...the dyed wool is indigo dyed which involves more physical entrapment and less chemical binding#so it may theoretically not care about superwash processing...
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#actually manage to go to bed now or another night ending around 5-6am?#tumblr made me smile at least#dear diary emotional bullshit#giving fair warning or whatever idk#heavy messy life bullshit#just venting and shiz but def negative energy/bad vibes#official last chance to turn back#talking w MIL former pharmacist but within 2 years so immoderately accurate I acknowledge that#but a lot of what she said didn’t match up with the info available online from cites I imagine are pretty up to date#offer assistance online so probs pretty well informed an up to date#and I get that bae probs needs the mental security or w/e bc talking w her mom and her job and I get that#but then why the fuck would that make me feel any better??????#all in my head isn’t any better bc guess where I have to live#bed might’ve been smarter but if I’d cry either way then at least not keep bae up#I and negative head space just manifests as stress dreams/mundane nightmares#lyrics stuck in my head#I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not I’m far from lonely and it’s all that I’ve got#or I’m so sick and tired of being sick and tired#I need something else would someone please just give me ? hit me knock me out and let me go back to sleep#up down turn around please don’t let me hit the ground tonight I think I’ll walk alone find my soul as I go home
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you prefer reviews in the form of AO3 comments or Tumblr tags? Because I'm five minutes into writing tags and starting to realize this might be strange of me...
oopsie!omens pt 11- St. James Park, 1862
They don't listen, break up ensues.
prev chp / kofi / AO3
#good omens#oopsie!omens#there is NEVER a bad time to have azazel dress fem#she's so gorgeous and i love her#LOL at her expression when talking about pears#i feel like everyone has slightly different interpretations of what aziraphale was trying to do in that line#this feels like a real 'head empty no thoughts' moment#not trying to distract jophiel#just like#'pears...'#although it's still a pretty effective tactic because jophiel is having SUCH a hard time with this conversation#so he could probably be frightened off from it pretty easily#i love that jophiel's owl joke was actually effective!!#azazel's little smile!!#'i do indeed have ears you silly goose'#('don't call me a goose!' 'whatever you say deer')#and then JESUS CHRIST THE HELLFIRE#i did NOT put together that jophiel would be asking her for THE THING SHE HAS PERSONALLY FALLEN INTO#USE SOME GODDAMN TACT MAN#(i've written so many tags omg)#(if tumblr eats my tags i'm going to bite someone)#(anyway)#jophiel dotting his i's with a star - because he made stars! - is so excellent#and it's still all caps because he's an engineer of course#azazel made a hard turn from assuming it's a suicide pill to believing jophiel when he says it isn't#i guess he really does believe jophiel despite everything!#...of course he has no reason to think that jophiel already broke his promise millennia ago by snooping around into azazel's past#(that feels like one of the things that might get hashed out in one of their many divorces)#jophiel reaching out for azazel's hand omg T_T#is that the closest they've come to holding hands?? T_____T
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
one of my innate personality traits is that i can really only think big term about my future plans when it's like 1am on a random weekday. spent like two hours last night fighting with myself on if i really want to try applying to mfa grad programs this winter or not.
#liveblogging life#i've been prepping to apply but idk man!!! it's disheartening to look up stuff about mfa programs and how bad financially everyone is#after they leave & how hard it can be to find jobs etc. in academia which is probably where i'd want to end up#but on the other hand i really do think a program would be good for me#on the third hand i might be dismissed out of hand thanks to an extremely shitty undergrad gpa#[deep sigh]#i guess idk if i want to go through all the work of applying - including the mortifying ordeal of asking for letters of rec#if it means i'm not getting in anyway#i talked myself back into at least applying to like my top 3-5 schools in part just to see what happens#and if i dont get accepted then i turn my focus back to trying to finish my novel projects and getting published#and if do then i have to decide what the fuck im doing with that lmao#the thing about this grad school question is that the likelihood i'd be accepted at my local school is pretty low#so if i got in there's a high chance i'd have to move#which means i cant like. think about houses or moving or w/e until i know for sure either way what my next year is going to look like#grad app woes#i'm also NOT telling my family i'm applying this year bc honestly i dont want any of them to get hyped on my behalf and then#have to tell them that i didn't get in. i'd rather if they just didnt know and i can pretend i lost interest if i dont get in to any lol#but literally if i tell like my parents my ENTIRE extended family will know about it and that's so stressful jesus christ
1 note
·
View note
Text
I have obtained a new oc and in the process I've already signed myself up for needing to make at least 3 new ocs for his story which he now has despite me initially Intending for him to be a side character for a different side character to hang out with. My townhouse has over 200 characters on it.
#rat rambles#oc posting#he doesn't have an official name yet but he is my silly billy and I love him#also take every him with an asterisk again he's like super new (I just got him today)#although several elements of his story so far have been things Ive been wanting to do for a while so thats a part of why I have so many#ideas for him already since its some stuff I've been wanting to play around with for a while#the real reason he has a chokehold on me rn is that I tripped and made him my 500 thousanth character with identity issues#I <3 characters with a fucked up relationship with their sense of self and what it even means to be themself#oh hes also a magic cat world character because thats what like 90% of my ocs are from at this point lol#and another goop related guy but this time not directly related to every other goop guy#he doesnt interact with any of them or even know most of them exist#long story short hes a robot who used to not be a robot but remembers nothing abt his life before he turned himself into a robot#all he has as reference is a mostly ruined journal his past self kept that is almost entirely unreadable due to it getting soaked in goop#he knows that this was self inflicted and his approximate age but that's abt it in terms of useful information#early story is mostly just him traveling alone trying to see if anyone nearby knows who he is but after going through like 5 or so towns he#starts to get more worried and upset about the whole situation and starts trying to look into some different missing person reports in#hopes that he can find one of himself#he runs out of the savings he had on him pretty quickly though so he had to figure out how to stay afloat while doing his research#'luckily' he meets a man while looking into one case he found who was willing to let him stick around at his place while looking into it#this guy had some investment in these dissapearances because he suspected that they related to his father and hoped to find any sort of#window in what he was up to since he hadnt seen him since he ran away at around 17#spoilers his dad is cake this is still connected to cake nonsense because everything in this world fucking does but the main boy himself#actually has no ties to cake or his activities so thats smth at least#but yeah long story short things get. real bad for my boy after the first few months of staying at this guy's place.#yknow how risa in the future was often used as a weapon of war using some unstable chemicals? yeah guess where that started.#mr daddy issue haver over here may understand that his dad is a bad person but evidently that doesnt stop him from being not much better#currently Im planning on having main boy escape eventually and get stuck in the non magic world where he meets april but that could change#it depends on if I want him to interact with the other stories going on at all or not#I probably wont but I would like to leave myself some wiggle room to let him meet more side characters#like (looks with big sad wet eyes) ginger maybe? please? please april? let me see your sister? that you havent seen in years? please?
0 notes
Text
ENOUGH WITH THE REBOOTS AND SPIN OFFS ENOUGGGHHHHH
#first of all why is it always teen shows that they reboot like what for#second of all can anyone name a single reboot that was equally as good and popular as the original#only one I can think of that I would say was as good was 90210 but even that’s up for debate#but the gossip girl reboot? a train wreck from start to finish idk what they were thinking#the pll reboot had slightly more positive reception but even that came and went#compared to the crazy hype the og had. and keep in mind the og was terrible#but I could see the incentive to reboot both of these shows cause people were neither satisfied with the conclusion#of gossip girl nor pretty liars… but one tree hill? why on earth would you reboot one tree hill?#personally I find one tree hill boring but I know for most people that’s like the gold standard of tv#so why would you go and add more to something people were satisfied with#sure you get the hype but you’re also gonna be subject to so much more backlash if it doesn’t meet the originals standards#and one tree hill set the bar PRETTY FUCKING HIGH#if they wanted it to just be about another generation at tree hill high well fine I guess I mean just go and make your own show#do I see the necessity in calling it a reboot? no like just make your own show about two half siblings on a basketball team#but fine let’s call it that. however putting Peyton and Brooke in it means you’re going to basically ruin their character arcs#like there’s no way Lucas and Julian are coming back so you’re already gonna turn a lot of people away#and the elephant in the room is that most people are concerned about the Woke aspect#what I’ve seen in the past is that these reboots start off trying really hard to be politically correct to demonstrate how#it’s a different time now and things have changed#but I think they misunderstand how much modern audiences hate this? and let me make it clear I don’t have a problem with a show being h#socially aware. it’s that the way these reboots handle it is SO heavy handed and unsubtle#there’s just no nuance about it no actual depth it feels… tokenizing?? that’s not the right word#but like they just throw it in there like it’s a box to check before they forget about all of it#but not before you’ve alienated your audience#anyways this will be bad let’s enjoy!
0 notes