#i feel like everyone has slightly different interpretations of what aziraphale was trying to do in that line

[quoththemaiden]

Do you prefer reviews in the form of AO3 comments or Tumblr tags? Because I'm five minutes into writing tags and starting to realize this might be strange of me...

oopsie!omens pt 11- St. James Park, 1862

They don't listen, break up ensues.

prev chp / kofi / AO3

[actual-changeling]

Welcome back to Alex's unhinged meta corner - although today it is less unhinged and more of a watertight analysis.

What I am about to present you is something most people have probably already noticed, but it has been three months and I still lose my mind while going through the final fifteen frame by frame (which is a normal thing normal people like us do, right? right).

You literally cannot convince me my following meta is wrong, and the only person whose criticism I will accept on this post is Michael Sheen and Michael Sheen ONLY. If you're not Michael Sheen (hi Michael Sheen who probably has a secret tumblr account) then your guess is as good as mine, though again, I think mine is solid.

So.

We all love and hate Aziraphale's "I forgive you", but what I find even more painful is the fact that before that he almost said "I love you". Then he stops himself and changes it, and the amount of micro-expressions on his face as he makes that decision is my current cause of death.

Here's the clip as evidence #1, and while it can definitely support itself, let's dive into the pain a little more, shall we?

One important thing I noticed is that Aziraphale doesn't look at Crowley while he stutters his way through his initial reaction. He blinks up at him for a few frames before averting his eyes again and only holds eye contact after the almost-confession (from here on referred to as IL-).

This is Aziraphale holding eye contact with Crowley (left) vs. him looking away (right):

The frame on the left is from the I forgive you (IFY) part of the scene, the other one from right before IL-. If we go through the above clip little by little we will find that he avoids Crowley's face the entire time and his gaze slips further and further down, which I interpret as him overthinking/trying to come up with something to respond to this entire situation.

He is overwhelmed and surprised, caught between his two main desires: Crowley and being a Good Angel.

Combing through the frames, we can actually nail down exactly when Aziraphale first makes eye contact before the IL- and when he stops. Keep the above comparison in mind! The angle is slightly different because his chin is lower and he straightens up throughout the scene.

So! This is where he starts looking at Crowley:

And this is where he stops:

Hard to see? Let's zoom in on his eyes (numbers are the file names):

Now, you might ask me "Alex, this is all fine, although a bit insane, but why is any of this important?"

Because, fellow tumblr user and good omens enthusiast, I think that looking at Crowley is what changes his mind about what to say.

He doesn't look at him -> about to confess his feelings.

He looks at him -> says the absolutely worst possible thing.

Partly to hurt him because they're both lashing out at each other during this argument, but he looks at Crowley, looks at the person that just kissed him, that told him they could have been an us, that wants him and has always wanted him, screw everyone else.

He looks at Crowley and he wants to say l love you but then what? Once he says those words, he can't leave. He just can't.

We have to remember that they have existed within a complicated dance, a game that they have been playing for centuries without ever telling each other what that game actually is, what the rules are - because they couldn't. It was based entirely on trust and knowing the other person well enough to play it safe.

Crowley just flipped the playing board. Nothing is the way it should be, he is refusing to do their dance, refusing to play. He is looking at him and daring him to stop trying to put the pieces back on the board. The only thing neither of them has done yet is actually say I love you out loud.

Saying those words would mean stepping away from the playing board and acknowledging the room they have been playing in. It would mean saying fuck you to heaven, yes, but it would also force Aziraphale to finally define himself outside of the role he has been playing for both Crowley and heaven, and he isn't ready for that yet.

Additionally, there is the fear and/or knowledge (depending on what else the Metatron might have said or done that we did not see) that heaven will retaliate against him and Crowley if he disobeys them now, and he does not want to risk that either.

All that is what, in my opinion, happens in his head when he averts his eyes and interrupts himself. I do kinda what to make a whole different post about his facial expressions leading up to the IFY, so I will end this one with one more bit of pain.

Ready?

Firstly, the face he makes when he makes his decision.

Look at the tight line of his lips, the pain etched into his face, the pure pain in his eyes.

This is the face of someone who knows exactly how badly he is going to hurt Crowley and himself. This is an apology, an I'm sorry for what I'm about to do, this hurts me as much as it hurts you. I'm sorry but I have to.

And then he winces afterwards. I don't know about you, but this is exactly the kind of face I make when I'm emotionally torturing myself with my own thoughts. For the final blow, please look at the picture very, very closely, especially the last frame, because Aziraphale isn't just sorry and he isn't just in pain.

Aziraphale is scared because he knows* that he might lose Crowley over this. He knows that saying I forgive you is (almost) unforgivable. He KNOWS.

He does it anyway because he will lose Crowley either way but he'd rather have him alive and hating him than dead.

With that I am concluding today's unhinged meta corner, thank you for your attention and you're welcome for the pain.

Also: If you want to call me a 'tin hatter' or insane or otherwise make fun of me - this is very much a girl, what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament moment because you read my meta post all the way to the end. <3

-

*authors note: what Aziraphale thinks he knows and what is actually real is not the same thing but that's a different post

[a-nice-and-interpretive-fanzine]

[ID: A cream-colored banner that says "A Nice and Interpretive Fanzine: essays and art about the meanings we've found in Good Omens." There is a photo of a book page with a key on it behind the banner text. The photo source is rosy_photo on Pixabay. /end ID]

A Nice and Interpretive Fanzine: Information Masterpost

Welcome!

This is a zine for those of us who love the subtle, complex work that is Good Omens, and who’ve enjoyed the thoughtfulness of the fandom as people interpret how the many moving pieces of the story come together, creating a slightly different meaning for each of us.

To put it simply, it’s a book full of the fandom’s own analysis and commentary about the Good Omens TV show, enhanced with illustrations from our brilliant artists.

This zine is analytical in the sense that all the writers are expressing their own nonfiction thoughts and feelings about the show, rather than writing fanfic, but it is not meant to be heavily academic. Anybody who likes to pick apart the series and discuss it should be able to enjoy it.

The zine will contain essays by fans who are passionate about analyzing and interpreting different parts of Good Omens - the characters, the plot, the writing techniques for the book and script, the cinematography of the TV show, the popular content of the fandom itself. Accompanying these essays will be black and white illustrations from our artists.

How are you organizing this process?

May 1-May 15: Everyone submits their application to do writing or art through a Google form. Behind the scenes, I’ll be setting up a separate email and Discord.

May 16-20: Applicants will be screened during this time.

May 20: I’ll email everyone to let them know the outcomes of their applications. The final participants will get a link to the Discord server for the zine (totally optional, of course).

May 21: If there’s any clarification or solidifying of ideas that needs to happen, I’ll contact you and discuss with you by this point. This is also when artists will be matched up with essays.

May 22 to August 14: This will be a period of just working on our essays and art. The Discord chat and Tumblr will be there for support and for exchanging ideas!

August 15: Participants need to email their full works to the zine’s email address by this date. No special formatting is needed; I’ll do that in InDesign.

August 15 to August 31: I’ll be putting the zine together in InDesign.

September 1: Preorders will open.

September 30: Preorders will close.

October 1: The zine order will be placed!

October 15: Assuming all goes well with printing and shipping, the zines will be shipped out in waves starting on this date. If the printing or shipping from the manufacturer is delayed, then shipping will just start ASAP.

Writer Application HERE Artist Application HERE Asked and Answered Questions on Tumblr The Fanzine's Page on Twitter

Read below for more detailed information about the zine in a Q and A format!

What are the specifications for the zine contributions?

For writers, I’m starting with 3k words or fewer per essay (approximately 10 pages at the size of this book). This depends heavily on how many participants we actually get, so it may change!

For artists, I’d be looking at black and white works, 300 DPI, 5.5 x 8.5 inches or smaller. If your art is supposed to fill up the entire page (i.e. no white space), please make it a total of 5.75 x 8.75 inches with nothing too important around the edges to account for bleed during the printing process.

Can I submit an essay to this zine if I’ve already posted it on Tumblr?

Not as you’ve already posted it. We don’t want to just copy/paste the exact thing that hundreds or perhaps even thousands of people have already read.

However, it IS fine and maybe even a good idea to take the same thought from your post and refine it, preserving your same thesis. For example, a lot of Tumblr posts are just us fans jotting down 5 or 6 paragraphs of random thoughts at 2 AM, but some of them are really cool thoughts! Expanding them and turning them into a bona-fide Essay would make those posts into excellent zine chapters. And you can copy small pieces of your own language as long as the whole thing isn’t just pasted word-for-word.

How long do essays have to be? Is there a limit?

With the number of writers we have, I've calculated that each person should ideally keep their essay to about 6000 words. There is wiggle room.

There’s no real minimum for your contribution; some analytical ideas are really good but can be expressed concisely, so it’s okay if your essays only come out to a few pages typed. For reference, with our book size, a page is about 300 words.

What happens if the zine sells a lot and you end up not only breaking even, but turning a profit?

It’ll go to charity. While I’ll ask the participants what they want to do for certain if we do make enough money, my suggestion will be donating it to Alzheimer’s Research UK in honor of Sir Terry Pratchett.

I’m not really comfortable calling this a “charity zine” up front since I simply don’t know if it will raise a significant amount. For the most part, I just want the thing to physically exist, which means breaking even, and don’t want to make it more expensive for buyers than it needs to be to afford the printing costs.

What kinds of essays are you talking about? What could be included?

In short, any analytical thoughts about the Good Omens TV show - and possibly even the fandom as it interacts with the show - are possible inclusions for the zine.

To expand a bit, think about the meta posts you see floating around Tumblr. Often these involve analyzing characters, or picking up on patterns in the plot. Sometimes fans use their own background knowledge to write posts about the significance of certain costume choices or the way music plays into each individual scene. Some posts examine the ways the series approaches gender, while others might discuss ways that the characters present as neurodivergent. That’s how diverse the pool of possibilities is for subjects in this zine.

How does art come into this?

Images will be black and white, to match the bookish mood of the project overall. Images can range in size from a half page to a full page.

I’m planning to talk to the artists and authors and loosely pair artists with essays that appeal to their personal interests.

I know how to illustrate a story, but how do I illustrate an essay?

There are infinite answers to this! I’ve seen some beautiful symbolic artwork in the fandom already (e.g. a number of takes on Aziraphale munching on an apple with Crowley in snake form curving around him), and there are tons of symbolic motifs to draw from, but these are not the only options. An artist illustrating an essay about cinematography, for example, could draw a well-known scene from an alternative angle. An essay about Heaven as a capitalist corporation could be illustrated with a cartoon of Gabriel giving some sort of excruciating PowerPoint presentation. A character analysis could be accompanied by a simple portrait. And on and on. I’m not interested in limiting the possibilities by trying to make a list, but just know that there are many and you don’t have to make it complicated if you don’t want to.

If the writers can reuse their essay ideas, can artists reuse their drawings?

Similarly to the writers, if you already have an interpretive drawing that you’re in love with, artists can use the same ideas and the same fundamental composition that is present in their own existing work. However, it has to be redone in some significant way. Whether it’s taking something you drew in 2019 and redrawing it using an updated style, taking a sketch and turning it into a lined and shaded piece, or redoing a full-color drawing so it presents more strikingly in black and white, it shouldn’t be identical to the thing you’ve already posted.

So how are you choosing participants here?

It’ll be based on what people are interested in writing about (or illustrating). I’ll be looking for people who are passionate about their essays, but I’ll also be looking for variety. It all depends on what people want to offer, so I won’t know for sure what it will look like put together until everyone’s application is in.

For artists, I’ll be trying to figure out whose style looks like it would adapt well to illustrations in black and white, and also who demonstrates an interest in the same subjects as the writers.

If we don’t get a lot of applicants, I’d love to simply include everyone, but I can’t commit to that without knowing for sure how many people are involved.

Do I have to use a formal writing style to participate?

No. You should use a style that makes your thoughts and ideas as clear as possible, but as long as it’s understandable, you can also get a little artistic with it. You can “write like you speak,” though perhaps in a more organized way. You definitely don’t need to worry about stylistic rules like not using the first person. This is not academia.

Is this zine going to center only on Crowley and Aziraphale?

That remains to be seen! It depends on what ideas show up in the applications. There will be a lot of the ineffable partners for sure, but whether the whole zine will center on them or whether there’s plentiful stuff about other characters will depend on what the participants suggest.

Do we have to agree with all your personal interpretations of Good Omens to be in the zine?

No! In fact, I’m assuming that a number of essays will contradict each other, too, and that’s perfectly okay. The zine is a sampler of fan interpretations meant to inspire, not instruct. It’s not “Here’s a fan-made guide on how to understand this TV show,” it’s “Look at all these moving parts and how many meanings we can find in them. What does it mean to you?”

However, there are some basic rules and assumptions by which I’m working here.

I don’t personally have the energy to include essays that are highly critical (“negative”) in this zine. It’s analytical but also meant to be fun.

I’m pretty focused on the TV adaptation. This isn’t “no book analysis allowed” but just that the essays will end up being weighted toward subjects that apply to either the TV show or both the book and the show.

Each writer should focus on making their own points over disproving other fan interpretations. If you’re writing in an expository style, it’s normal for the essay to contain rebuttals to opposing ideas, but these should be minor supporting points, not the heart and soul of your essay. For reference, I’d say the majority of meta I see floating around on tumblr would follow this rule just fine.

Essay ideas that seem to contain bigoted or exclusionary sentiments will not be accepted (no TERFy stuff, for example).

What kinds of editing will go into the zine? Are you going to argue with us about the contents of our writing?

While I might ask you to elaborate on certain points in your writing or clarify your thoughts about your subject, I’m absolutely not here to ask you to change the thesis, opinions, or headcanons on which your writing is based. If I really have a problem with your initial idea, I’ll tell you that up front and politely decline the contribution.

While formatting the zine, I’ll make minor edits if I think I see a typo or misspelling, something small and obviously unintentional. As with any other zine, your content won’t be changed without consulting you.

Is this a SFW zine?

Yes. If people want to discuss sexuality in a theoretical way, like erotic subtext, that would be allowed. There are canon references like Newt and Anathema’s moment under the bed that might come up, too. But there will be nothing explicit, and since these are essays instead of stories, there will be no “action” going on between characters. Let’s just say sex isn’t a forbidden topic, but it will be like discussing it in English class.

As for other topics that could make the zine NSFW, like gore or extreme language, I don’t think they will be an issue. Some dark topics, like abuse by Heaven and Hell, may be discussed, but they will be warned for, and these are not stories, so you aren’t going to see violent actions playing out.

Will there be any “extras” like charms or stickers?

I’m not sure yet. I’m most inclined to keep it simple, because of the nature of the zine, but would be open to including some bonus items if there’s an artist who’s really passionate about it.

With that said, I am pretty committed to making a hardcover edition of the book available, in addition to the standard softcover version.

You’re doing this with only one mod?!

Yes. I personally find it easiest. While I’ve worked on multi-mod projects in other domains and adore all of my co-mods, it’s a little bit different when it’s a project with this many moving pieces that includes real-life components like printing and shipping. Though there are a lot of individual things to be done, I am experienced with all of them, so it’s less overwhelming to just take on the whole project. That way, I know exactly what needs to be done and when, and there are no issues with assigning tasks.

What qualifies you to run this zine?

The résumé answer: in fandom, I successfully solo-modded a large not-for-profit zine in the past, the @soulmakazine2018, and while I can’t speak for the whole fandom, it definitely seemed to be well-received. <3 In real life, I’m a case manager and this involves coordinating and communicating with a lot of different people including my 100-person caseload, budgeting services, and filling out all kinds of paperwork on the fly, all skills that can be imported into zine work.

The practical answer: well, I’m the one who decided to start this project, so if you like the sound of it, you're stuck with me. I say with encouragement and enthusiasm that if you’d like to do a different take on a commentary zine, you should absolutely do it.

[itsclydebitches]

(WLW anon) I really don’t like the “bad rep is better then none at all”. I hate that. We should want good rep, because bad rep has been used time and time again by homophobes as to say we shouldn’t get representation. To me it’s not “gay can have the same flaws as het”, it’s “fix the flaws in the het”. Also I know Renora being independent was a good, I was just saying in comparison BB. Also, yes, they were separated, but also didn’t stop thinking about each other. Especially bad with Yang.

Indulge me for a moment because I want to take a trip down memory lane and list some—just some—of the queer rep that has been important to me over the years:

Ellen comes out both as herself and as her character… years later, she’s a hated millionaire who is criticized for how she treats her staff

The wildly influential Buffy gives us two women entering a loving relationship… except then Tara is killed off, Willow goes evil for a time, and Buffy comes under fire for Joss Whedon’s everything

The beloved and respectable headmaster of one of the most popular book series ever published is revealed to be gay… except it doesn’t count because it wasn’t in the text and now all of Harry Potter is cancelled because JKR is transphobic

Kurt is an unambiguously gay teen in a hugely popular TV series, acting as one of the first overt representations a generation has seen… except he’s way too stereotypical and Glee is a joke now

Orange is the New Black gives us a number of queer women, including one of our first trans characters… but isn’t it problematic that they’re all criminals?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine hosts an out gay captain and gives us a bisexual coming out story that resonated with many, myself included… except now we’re supposed to hate all the characters on principle because they’re cops

Korra and Asami walk off into the spiritual sunset together… but they never kiss or anything, so that doesn’t count either

Steven Universe gives us a queer relationship and a wedding… but it’s an issue that this is just a kid’s show and, really, does it count when the rep is embodied by space rocks whose entire species only creates a single gender? Feels like a cop-out

Same with Good Omens. Yeah, Crowley and Aziraphale clearly love each other… but you never see them kiss or declare their intentions. It’s great ace rep though! Unless you want to level the criticism that asexual characters are always nonhuman

A character intended to be a minor guest becomes a show staple and eventually declares his love for one of the two main characters… except then Castiel immediately dies, Dean doesn’t respond, and they never meet on screen again

I finished Queen’s Gambit the other day and the main character had a one-night stand with a woman! … but everyone is talking about how bisexuality is used to represent her lowest point, so that’s bad too

I could go on for literal pages. Some of these arguments I agree with (Dumbledore), others I’ve pushed back against quite strongly (Crowley and Aziraphale), but all of them are valid criticisms depending on what part of the queer community you’re in and what your expectations are. My point here is that it’s all “bad rep.” I mean that seriously. If anyone reading this is scrambling for the comment section to say why [insert media title here] is actually fantastic rep, I guarantee that someone disagrees. Or if they don’t, give it some time. Just wait until the characterization becomes offensively outdated, or another part of the story ruins the relationship, or it comes out that the author did something truly horrific, or the terminology changes and it’s labeled as “problematic” now… just wait. At some point, any rep we feel is good rep now will be criticized, cancelled, and dragged through the mud. The rep that I personally haven’t seen much push-back against—like the beloved Captain Jack Harkness in Doctor Who, or Schitts Creek that just won a ton of awards—is wrapped up in the criticism, “So it’s all just about able-bodied, cis, (mostly) white dudes, huh? :/”  Even the argument that queer characters need to be written by queer authors doesn’t hold up. I absolutely adored Sense8. “Wow, a gay main character in a loving relationship with another gay man, both of whom enter a loving poly relationship with a woman, another lesbian trans main character who marries the love of her life on screen, an entire cast arguably queer due to them sharing orgy scenes centered around the emotional intimacy they share, everyone survives, and this was written by two trans women! Great, right?” Well, not according to the wealth of opinions explaining how Sense8 is horrible rep, actually. Every piece of rep we’ve got is either currently flawed or will become flawed in the future.

So what do we do with that?

That’s where my “I’d rather have bad rep than no rep at all” comes in. For me, that’s not waving the white flag. That’s not an oath that I won’t expect better rep in the future (I do) or that I won’t criticize the rep we get (BOY DO I), but rather just an acknowledgement of reality. The vast majority—if not the entirety—of rep is “bad rep” in one way or another, but I’d still rather have it than nothing at all. Because I’ve lived just long enough and studied media just enough to know what nothing looked like. It was watching all queer characters meet untimely deaths. Before that it was watching queer characters be derided and treated as jokes. Before that it was nothing but coding, where queer characters didn’t exist except in our own headcanons and interpretations. Obviously “bad rep” covers a very large range of issues and “They haven’t even confirmed this relationship yet” is a bigger issue than “This queer character embodies one or two, mild stereotypes,” but ultimately I’d take any of it over nothing at all. And enjoying what we’ve currently got doesn’t mean I’m willing to settle for it indefinitely.

To use an iffy analogy, imagine there’s a factory. This factory makes plates. So. Many. Plates. Big plates, small plates, plain plates, decorative plates, plates for every possible occasion in your life—and everyone with a steak for dinner is pleased as punch. You though? You’ve got soup. You need a bowl. Your entire life you’ve been struggling to eat your soup off a plate (it doesn’t work) and listening to friends and family claim that the plate with a slightly raised edge could be a bowl if you squint (it’s not). To say it’s frustrating is an understatement.

But then, one day, the factory starts producing bowls too. Hurray! Except as soon as you get your hands on one, you’re told you really shouldn’t be using it, let alone praising it. Look at the state of that bowl! It’s cracked right down the middle, ugly as hell, shoddily made all around… you’re not really going to settle for that, are you? And no, you obviously still want the factory to produce better bowls, but at the same time, this is a bowl. You’ve never gotten one before and you can finally enjoy your meal, even if the soup leaks at times. Sometimes a lot. But you’re still feeling better about your meal than you ever have before. And what you then begin to realize is that lots of the plates are a mess too. They also have cracks, they’re also ugly, many are also shoddily made. The difference is that the factory is producing so many plates at such a rapid pace that every steak eater is able to get by. One plate breaks completely? You’ve got a thousand fallbacks. Don’t like the look of this one? A thousand other options. You disagree about what “shoddily made” means? Luckily there are enough plates that everyone can find what they prefer! But the bowls… there’s only a few. Some are really expensive. Others are only available for a limited time before they suddenly disappear. Your bowl breaks and you have to wait months, years sometimes, to get another one. You’re constantly told to go buy this one obscure bowl no one else has heard about and yeah, you like it... but you’d also like to buy one of the bowls everyone is already enjoying. You find yourself looking at the plates and thinking, “I’d like that. I’d like to have so many options that the flaws, while still a problem, are much more bearable.” You’re still going to demand that the factory get its shit together, you’re still going to (rightly) complain about the awful quality of your bowl… but it’s still nice to have a bowl, period. There are still things you like about it, even if it’s a mess: the color, the size, the beauty of the shape of it. Its potential. You’re still pleased you have something to enjoy and that helps serve the need you’re looking to fill, even if that something is imperfect.

That’s “bad rep is better than no rep.” To bring this very long response back to Blake/Yang, I don’t think their problems negate their benefits. Is their relationship currently non-canonical and filled with a number of writing issues everyone has a right to be angry about? Yup. I express that anger a great deal. Are they still half of a team on a very popular show that is (presumably) set to be canonized as queer? Yup. I’d much rather live in a world where big shows like RWBY try to include queer rep and fail in a multitude of ways—with the expectation and hope that they’ll continue to improve—rather than in a world where authors a) don’t care or b) are too scared to try. Because that’s where a “good rep or no rep” stance leads. The danger isn’t homophobes because they’re, well, homophobes. It doesn’t matter if the rep is good or not, they hate it on principle. But if queer authors writing for other queer identities, or allies writing queer identities, or even queer authors writing their own experiences (like in Sense8) continually come under non-stop fire for their attempts… there’s a good chance that many people won’t ever try. We’re already seeing that here on tumblr with young authors admitting that they wouldn’t touch [insert topic here] with a ten-foot pole because just look at what happens when you get it wrong. And authors will get things wrong because authors are fallible people forever unlearning their own ignorance. So though it might sound strange coming from a blog that has turned into such a RWBY critical space, I am glad that RWBY’s queer rep exists, despite all the frustrations that I share about it. I think a RWBY with various types of “bad” queer rep is better than a RWBY with no queer rep at all, particularly when “bad” or “good” is so intensely subjective. There’s a middle ground between passively accepting whatever we’re given, and tearing into rep with such ferocity that we end up rejecting it all. There’s a space where we can be critical of rep and embrace the parts that work for us, simultaneously.

I hope and expect the het rep will get better too, but… that’s never going to happen instantly. To quote RWBY, there’s no magic wand we can wave to fix all our problems. Rather, it will take slow, plodding, meandering, lifetimes’ worth of work to see that change occur and I personally don’t want to spend the one life I have waiting for that perfect rep to show up. Because it’s unlikely that it will. While we work, I’d rather find the good in what rep we’ve already got.  

[ineffable-endearments]

Hey! The same anon that asked about the lockdown timeline yesterday here. Thank you so much for replying! I can heavily relate to wanting things to make sense and fit so i guess that's why I reached out with that question in the first place. Anyways I thought I'd tell you I thought about it some more and I think that Aziraphale talking about Crowley's job and Crowley saying he knows he should be making people's lives worse is just their usual double-layered way of talking with each other. 1/2

Kinda like "visiting me would be breaking the rules, isn't it What You Do?" "I mean I could but it's gonna take a clearer invitation for me to agree". And I guess Aziraphale's final "that would be breaking the rules" can be read as sincere, but I can imagine him just putting up his usual show. Only it seems Crowley wants something more genuine now... anyways thanks for putting up with me, sometimes my head won't let me rest until I've discussed something with someone else. So thank you so much!!

Hallo again Anon!

I feel I should preface this by reiterating that I know the video most likely wasn’t intended to be looked at this closely from a continuity perspective and it’s probably just a cute PSA about how you shouldn’t leave your house, but I’m sort of enjoying myself right now.

As a matter of fact, the notion you just laid out was my first interpretation of the video. Like it didn’t even occur to me that perhaps Aziraphale was not actively trying to get Crowley to come over until much later. He was so much more forward in this video than he usually is in the series that I just immediately went “YUP that’s what’s happening.” It wasn’t until Crowley said “Goodnight, angel” that I became unsure how to read the situation (more on that later).

Putting a read more because this got long.

After a lot of analyzing, I can see other perspectives too. The main one that made sense to me was the notion that Aziraphale would have realized, belatedly, he was not ready to be locked down together with Crowley and that’s why he sounded so panicky. Or that perhaps he thought Crowley was going to come visit but didn’t realize he was going to be angling for a sleepover.

I dunno, guys. I just really think that Aziraphale’s line of questioning in the beginning involved a desire to push Crowley toward Soho. That’s how they’ve been communicating for thousands of years. If I accept his call entirely at face value, then I sort of have to accept the idea that maybe all of Aziraphale’s apparent “hinting” behavior has been totally guileless with no ulterior motive, which in turn would mean his entire stint in the Arrangement has been just him being pushed along by Crowley rather than quietly reciprocating. And I don’t think that’s the point of their relationship. I much prefer the notion that this secret code is how they’ve always operated and it’s still in play, though they’re starting, slowly, to unlearn it, or at least relax it.

I can’t speak for anyone, but I suspect people don’t like the idea of Aziraphale being nudgy and indirect or Crowley being a bit unsatisfied with this approach because they interpret it as unhealthy or manipulative for one or both of them. But the thing is, double-speak has been a survival mechanism for them for so long that it’s fairly well ingrained, and it is also entirely consensual. And a bit of temporary discontentment is sort of part of the process, isn’t it, when you’re negotiating new boundaries in a relationship? I don’t necessarily hold them 100% to realistic human psychological standards, because they aren’t real and they aren’t human, but if their relationship is a story, then the occasional disagreement is a necessary challenge that will eventually bring them to the next exciting chapter.

Anyway, as far as my Aziraphale interpretation, I’m caught between “he was angling for Crowley to come visit the whole time all the way to the end and is going to call back in 3 minutes” and “he was opening up an invitation for Crowley to come over but got all freaked out when Crowley suggested effectively moving in together.” Of those, I lean toward the second because he does sound genuinely nervous. However, he obviously thought about it, if you listen to his vocal cues. 

Now, for Crowley. First of all, how *very dare* David Tennant come for my life with the tenderness of “Goodnight, angel.” This line is positively dripping with affection. Crowley’s not leaving in a huff, he’s not leaving off on an angry note. However, I don’t think he’s totally content, either. Note the sigh when Aziraphale says “it would be breaking all the rules” and the slightly weary tone when Crowley says “I’m setting my alarm for July.” He’s not trying to push Aziraphale into anything, but he does rather wish he’d gotten a different answer. Sleeping the lockdown away is likely the healthiest way he can think of to deal with this minor disappointment; he won’t go nuts being bored and lonely, and he won’t have the urge to wheedle Aziraphale.

Now if Crowley wasn’t happy with “no” for an answer, why wouldn’t he play the game they’ve always played? Find an excuse to go out and end up in Soho? There are three reasons and I think they’re all true:

This pattern of having to convince Aziraphale about everything has to relax now that it’s not part of the survival dance. Everyone knows this.

However, Aziraphale has always needed the structure of rules. Crowley doesn’t give a fuck about Heaven’s rules and he knows that Aziraphale often wants to get around them, too, but Aziraphale needs to be reminded over and over that Crowley can respect Aziraphale’s personal rules, however arbitrary they may seem, and not try to change his mind.

Finally, I think Crowley doesn’t want to play this game because...lockdown isn’t a rule that he particularly thinks needs breaking? Crowley takes great pleasure in breaking rules in ways that show how silly they are, and he takes great pleasure in pranks that challenge humans, and of course he does things to spite Heaven just because of who he is and what Heaven is. But, as we established early in the short, Crowley actually does not want to worsen this situation, or do anything that would represent worsening it in his own head. He wouldn’t have the gleeful thrill of a well-broken rule, he’d just...be either slinking around in secret or essentially gloating about being occult.

For Aziraphale, Crowley will sneak around and break the rules. But if Aziraphale is also uncomfortable with the idea, for literally any reason, Crowley will let the rules stand this time.

TL;DR In my interpretation, Aziraphale called Crowley hoping that they could meet up somehow, but panicked on realizing Crowley would totally do it, partly because Crowley suggested the massive change of practically moving in together and partly because Aziraphale does care about rules. Meanwhile, Crowley starts picking up what Aziraphale is putting down, but when Aziraphale gets nervous, Crowley doesn’t push largely out of respect for Aziraphale but also partly because he doesn’t feel like lockdown should actually be broken, either.

Thank you Anon!

[applepiewinchesters]

Four Times Aziraphale Wanted to Kiss You, And the Time he Finally Did (Aziraphale x Angel!Reader)

 *REQUESTS ARE CLOSED*

Requested by: Anonymous

Warnings: Maybe Angst, Fluffiness although that’s not really a warning

 The first time Aziraphale wanted to kiss you was seeing you for the first time after the garden.

You were dressed in a long, flowing white dress and had come to stand beside him as you watched the animals being loaded into Noah’s ark. You were stunning, your hair in curls down your back, a popular style of the time. Just…stunning.

“Good to see you again, my dear,” Aziraphale said to you.

You smiled, “You as well, Aziraphale, I just wish it was during better circumstances” you told him.

Before Aziraphale could answer, you turned when you felt a tap on your shoulder, turning to see the demon, Crawley, standing beside you.

“Oh, hello again,” you said, giving the demon a polite nod.

Aziraphale silently cursed for the interruption, not that he wasn’t just slightly happy to see Crawley, he was a rather interesting companion.

“So, giving the mortals a flaming sword, how did that work out for you?” Crawley asked, looking over to Aziraphale.

“The Almighty has never actually mentioned it again,” Aziraphale spoke.

“Most likely a good thing,” you added, the demon and angel beside you both nodded.

“What’s all this about?” Crawley asked, motioning towards the large boat in front of you all, “Build a big boat and fill it with a traveling zoo? From what I hear, God’s a bit tetchy.”

“Wiping out the human race,” Aziraphale said, lowering his voice, “Big storm.”

“All of them?” Crawley asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Just the locals,” Aziraphale told him.

“I don’t believe the Almighty is upset with the Chinese,” you said, “Or the Native Americans. Or the Australians.”

“Yet,” Crawley said, shrugging.

“And God’s not actually going to wipe out all the locals,” Aziraphale spoke, “I mean, Noah, up there, his family, and his sons, their wives, they’re all going to be fine.”

“But they’re drowning everyone else?” Crawley asked, looking around, “Not the kids? You can’t kill kids.”

You and Aziraphale both just nodded, a bit uncomfortable at the realization. “Well, that’s more the kind of thing you’d expect my lot to do,” Crawley said.

“Yes, but when it’s done, the Almighty’s going to put up a new thing called a rainbow, as a promise not to drown everyone again,” said Aziraphale.

“How kind,” Crawley said sarcastically, you sort of agreed with him, you weren’t as…devoted to the ineffable plan as Aziraphale was.

“You can’t judge the Almighty Crawley,” Aziraphale argued, “God’s plans are…”

Crawley cut him off, “Are you going to say “ineffable?” he asked.

“Possibly,” Aziraphale said, making you giggle softly, the sound was music to his ears.

That was the first time Aziraphale wanted to kiss you.

*

The second time Aziraphale wanted to kiss you was when you met Shakespeare, you looked beautiful in your long, red velvet gown, your hair still long and flowing down your back, but Crawley, well, Crowley now, interrupted you once again.

Not to mention Shakespeare kept flirting with you for lack of a better word, reciting some of his new work to you as you giggled.

“Jealous?” Crowley asked, leaning over to Aziraphale, watching as you blushed at whatever Shakespeare was telling you.

“I-I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” Aziraphale said, turning his gaze away from you to Crowley.

Crowley raised an eyebrow, “I’m not stupid Aziraphale, I can see the way you look at her, just get on with it already, it’s been a few thousand years after all.”

Aziraphale shook his head, “I can’t, she’s too…her, and I’m too me,” he said.

“Would you like me to tell her then?” Crowley asked, smirking.

Aziraphale nearly felt his heart jump out of his chest as he quickly shook his head, “No, no, please,” he said, making the demon chuckle.

“I’m only joking,” Crowley spoke, “but I would definitely snatch her up before someone like Casanova over there does.”

Aziraphale sighed, “I’ll tell her, at the right time,” he said, although he himself had no idea when that would be.

*

The third time Aziraphale wanted to kiss you was in 1941 in London when you both thought you were going to be rather inconveniently discorporated by a couple of scumbag Nazis.

You were pretty bad ass that day, talking back to Nazis and all, he himself wasn’t exactly that brave.

Both of you were relieved when Crowley strolled in, well, more like interpretive danced into the room, given the consecrated ground and all.

“Crowley, what are you doing here?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“Coming to save you two! Can’t have you getting into trouble,” he spoke, still doing his little dance, it was rather comical.

“We were doing just fine Crowley,” Aziraphale spoke.

“Ah, Anthony J. Crowley, your fame precedes you,” one of the Nazi’s spoke.

“Anthony?” Aziraphale questioned, looking to Crowley.

“You don’t like it?” he asked.

“No, I didn’t say that, I’ll get used to it,” Aziraphale said.

“The famous Mr. Crowley,? That’s such a pity you must all die,” the Nazi woman spoke.

“What does the J stand for?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at the demon, who shrugged.

“It’s just a J really,” he said, looking off to the side, “Look at that! A whole font full of holy water, doesn’t even have any guards.”

“Enough babbling!” one Nazi yelled, “Kill them all.”

After Crowley rerouted that bomb and Aziraphale saved you all from being discorporated, you were covered in soot from the destroyed church rubble now surrounding you.

Aziraphale came over to you, taking a handkerchief out of his jacket, “Here you are my dear,” he told you, smiling.

You smiled back, “Oh, thank you,” you said, using the cloth to wipe the soot off your face, you handed it back after you were done.

“Missed a spot,” Aziraphale said, reaching out and wiping a bit of soot off your cheek, you could feel your face heat up when you looked down sheepishly.

Aziraphale wanted nothing more than to feel that heat against his lips, but he didn’t, not that time at least.

*

The fourth time Aziraphale wanted to kiss you was shortly after you started helping him at his bookshop. You spent hours organizing books with him, finding just the right spots for everything.

He’d accumulated quite a collection over the years, and while he had no trouble organizing things, he was also happy to have some help, especially when it came from you.

After a really long day you’d even go out and buy dinner and pastries to eat together at small table by the window. It was one of his favorite things that came with you helping in the shop.

Another was when you’d bring him tea when you noticed he has having a particularly hard time organizing or trying to interpret some old language no one knew anymore.  

You were incredibly kind, but truly brave when you needed to be, it was something he loved about you. Also, you were different than most angels, sometimes going against protocol for the greater good of those surrounding you, not just heaven.

Aziraphale especially loved watching how careful you were with the books, carefully placing each of them on a shelf, especially if they were very old.

You were the only one he’s found to appreciate books as much as he did, and as he watched you, he wondered what your reaction would be from just a small kiss of appreciation.

Aziraphale shook these thoughts from his mind though, still not the right time he’d decided.

*

The fifth time Aziraphale wanted, and did, finally, kiss you, was when he came back to the bookshop after switching places with Crowley to help the other survive their punishments for stopping the apocalypse. You’d been spared for some reason, probably since Gabriel only had some weird thing against Aziraphale.

But the look on your face when he walked through the doors of the bookshop was so full of happiness and love that he knew this had to be the right time.

You’d run up to him and hugged him tightly, burying your face into his shoulder, “I’m so glad you’re alright,” you mumbled into his jacket.

Aziraphale smiled, wrapping his own arms around you, holding you close, “I could never leave you behind, love,” he told you, making you blush as you pulled away slightly from the hug, his hands still resting on your waist.

“My dear,” he started, “forgive me if this is completely inappropriate but…”

You’d cut him off, smashing your lips against his. He was quite shocked to say the least, but soon melted into the kiss, pulling you closer to him. You tasted just as sweet as he’d imagined, and your lips were incredibly soft.

When you pulled away, you giggled at how red Aziraphale’s face had gotten, “I’d been waiting to do that for about six thousand years,” you admitted, “I could see you did too, and I figured it was now or never.”

Aziraphale smiled, leaning down to press another gentle kiss to your lips, “That is just what I was thinking,” he told you.

When you’d both told Crowley you were officially together about a week later, he nearly burst with relief, “Finally!” he shouted, “I don’t think I could take another six thousand years of the sexual tension.”

Aziraphale had choked at his tea at that comment, while you on the other hand just laughed.

A/N: This took me a few hours to write, I kept getting stuck haha, but I hope you loved it! Thank you so much for reading and all the love! Requests will be open again either later this week or next week! Love you all! ~ Sara :)

[tried-not-to-makeagoodomensblog]

In Which Aziraphale is In Love and Buys Some Flowers

(Some disaster husbands fluff: sfw but things are implied, nsfc material also suggested, but not real) Added note: You need to know what anthuriums look like in order to get some of this. I mean, just how phallic they are.

The idea came from one of Aziraphale’s weekly phone calls with Anathema. She always claimed to need advice about one thing or another, or to have a philosophical dilemma she wanted to discuss, but once that was dealt with, the conversation inevitably arrived at its true destination. “Well?” she would say. He knew it was what the calls were actually about.

“Well, what?” Aziraphale would say innocently.

“You know,” she said this time, and something like it every time, “Did you two confess your love for each other yet?”

“I’m not really certain that’s any of your business,” he said, and she laughed.

“That means no,” she said. “You’d be screaming into the phone if you had, or probably transporting yourself here suddenly to tell me. You need to do something about this. You really do.”

“But what?” Aziraphale said piteously. “I can’t even imagine what form it would take.”

“Why not do it coyly? Make a game of it, like in a romcom,” she said. “Don’t tell him what you’re up to and get him to guess. I’m sure he feels the same about you. Make it fun and take the tension out of it.”

That part stuck with him after the call. He mulled it over that evening and played with different ideas the next morning in the bookshop. He started coming up with a plan and chuckled to himself. This could be fun.

The next evening they went out to a new little restaurant Crowley had found. It was quite good, not the classic fare Aziraphale tended to favour but the flavours were wonderful, so although he had expected to whine a bit and say he wished they’d gone to the Ritz, he instead thanked Crowley whole-heartedly and as usual invited him back to the shop for wine and conversation.

He saw Crowley notice the wrapped gift and flowers (plenty of anthurium in that bouquet, easy to interpret. Aziraphale had INTENTIONS) tucked away in the corner, but the demon looked away from it quickly, probably guessing they were for him but allowing things to happen at whatever rate Aziraphale wanted. 

They worked their way through the first bottle of wine, talking about this and that as they always did. As Aziraphale opened another he saw Crowley sneak another look toward the corner and look pleased. Aziraphale poured them each a fresh glass and as Crowley lounged back onto the sofa after a sip he motioned to the corner with his chin. “What’s that about, I have to wonder,” he said with a smile that could have been construed as a smirk.

“Oh,” said Aziraphale, trying to act a little tentative and nervous, which wasn’t difficult. “Right. I wanted to talk with you about that.” 

Crowley leaned forward, possibly slightly amused but interested, head tilted to one side. “Go on then,” he said.

“Well, Crowley,” Aziraphale said, “I’ve been wanting to ask your advice with a bit of a problem. The truth is,” he paused and took a sip of wine for suspense purposes, “the truth is, I seem to be in love.”

“I’m sorry. What?” Crowley said. He smiled smugly and played along. “Why would you be asking my advice about that then?”

“I was thinking about it and I thought since you spent thousands of years among humans being so cool and tempting them and all, you must have had lots of experience with it, had lots of partners of all kinds,” Aziraphale smiled. “You must, you know, know how love and lust and all of that works.” 

A bit of a grimace, then some false bravado. “Well yes, of course. I am, or was The Adversary. Big part of my job, that, back in the day. I’m quite an expert, actually,” Crowley lied. “And while I know all you see is a demon when you look at me, believe it or not, many people across the ages have found me quite attractive.” He was fishing for compliments. Why not?

“Gosh,” Aziraphale said, rather more surprised than Crowley had hoped, but looking at him from head to foot, which was pleasant. “Really? Fancy that. Good for you, Crowley!”

Crowley flashed a sarcastic smile. That kind of game, he thought. All right. I can play. “Do ask away, Angel. Anything you like.” 

He seemed to be enjoying this. Maybe, thought Aziraphale, I’m making it too easy. I should make him doubt it’s for him, just a little.

“Oh, thank you!” Aziraphale said. He did that grateful thing with his eyes, the one Crowley seemed to like so well. “Here it is, then. I’ve bought these flowers and a gift, but I have cold feet about giving them. I wonder if you could give me advice or soothe my nerves, or even go with me to present them.”

“Go with you?” Crowley’s smile diminished and his eyes examined Aziraphale’s face. Maybe this wasn’t going to be the kind of fun he’d expected. Damn. More like another rescue. “Who is it we would be visiting, then? Some human that caught your heart? They can be adorable when they’re young, I know, but I have to warn you—they die so soon, it’s hardly worth it.”

“No, of course not,” Aziraphale said. “Poor things.”

“Hmmm. An immortal. Must be someone I know, then. Let’s see.” Crowley finished the wine in his glass, refilled it, and swirled it around. “There isn’t an immortal I can think of who wouldn’t be a danger to you, Angel. Don’t let your soft heart get you into trouble. Tell me who it is.”

“I’m afraid it’s someone who is rather dim,” Aziraphale said.

Crowley made a face. “What? Sandalphon?” He shook his head. “I don’t see it, Angel.”

“No,” Aziraphale said, horrified at the thought. “I never liked him. Too much smiting.”

“Oh, yes,” Crowley said, his voice turning slightly bitter. “You don’t go in for any kind of darkness, do you? I should know that after all these years. Out with it! Who are we dealing with?”

“Well,” said Aziraphale, feeling suddenly elated by his own genius, “his name has the initials J and C in it.”

Crowley looked dumbfounded. That’s his rival? How could he compete? But what a strange choice. “Him?” he said. “I tend to forget he’s still around somewhere.” He let out a quick exhale and tilted his head to one side. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea, Angel. Haven’t seen him in millennia. Don’t know what he’s been up to. He must be somewhere up on the top floor with your enemies.” He paused and his eyes may have twinkled a little. “But if you’re serious I can tell you what he likes in the sack. We had some times, him and me.”

Aziraphale’s cheerful mood vanished. “What?” he said. “You didn’t. It’s too wicked. I saw stories on the internet but I didn’t believe them.”

Crowley had read them, too, just recently. That’s what gave him the idea. “Well, you know how it is. He wasn’t allowed to with humans but he had that human body with all its urges and needs. Once he knew who I was, he asked if I could help him out.” Crowley shrugged, sat back, and gazed at the ceiling. “Had some experiences, I can tell you. You might be in for some fun.”

Aziraphale was frozen in place, aghast. He slowly put down his wine glass and covered his eyes with a hand. Tears were burning to get out. He wasn’t sure why. “That can’t be true,” he said.

“What, did you fall for him because you thought he was so pure and full of light?” Crowley said, a little too loudly. “Trust me, he was a very troubled fellow. Sent down to be sacrificed for other people’s sins, not even supposed to have a life of his own. He was glad to have me to confide in. Reminded me of you a little, Angel, except that he appreciated me and,” he raised his eyebrows here, “what I could offer.”

Aziraphale didn’t know what to do. Everything had gone horribly wrong. He wished he could call Anathema, but he wasn’t sure he would want to explain this. “I didn’t really mean him,” he said carefully but a little hoarsely. “But you’ve talked me out of the whole thing now anyway. I’m tired. I think I’ll retire early. You can see yourself out. May as well take the flowers with you.”

“Why would I want the flowers? All those anthurium? I don’t need a language of flowers book to figure out what you’re saying with those. You must have had some very particular intentions toward this person, whoever they are,” Crowley said.

“I did,” Aziraphale said. “But I don’t anymore.” His hurt and anger got the better of him, “Why don’t you just take them and go to a gay bar?”

“Maybe I will,” Crowley said with no intention of doing so, and started to walk over to get them, just to aggravate the angel. “Good!” Aziraphale was shouting now. “You can pass on a little divinity to everyone you meet there!”

The angel strode toward the door to go up to his flat, but Crowley turned back and grabbed him by the arm. “I don’t understand” he started to say, “if it isn’t him then why are you so…”

“Anthony J Crowley, you let go of me right now,” Aziraphale said. 

Three things happened. Crowley let go and stepped back. He noticed the tears Aziraphale was trying to hide, and as he heard his name, he heard what he’d missed. Anthony J C. Oh no.

This was all supposed to be playful, he realized. Aziraphale was planning to confess his love—finally—in what he saw as a fun way, like hiding a rabbit and then pulling it out of a hat. That silly playfulness that was one of the things he loved about him. But Crowley had misunderstood and made up his stupid story about Jesus for spite. I need to fix this, he thought. His next thought was, those anthuriums are actually for me! He needed to fix this fast.

“Wait, Aziraphale, please! Listen. I beg you, Angel. You’re right.” “Right about what?” Aziraphale paused. There was a new tone in Crowley’s voice. A more familiar one. “You’re right. I am dim!” he said. “I made all that up about you know who, like an idiot, because I was jealous. I didn’t get the J.C. thing, you know, with my name. I swear I didn’t really do any of those things. He would never have, but anyway I didn’t even try. Not my kind of tempting. I saw those stories online, too, and I said it for spite.” Aziraphale paused and wiped his eyes. I made him cry, thought Crowley. He did this nice thing and was going to be brave and tell me he loves me because I’ve hesitated for so long, and I made him cry before he had a chance. Jesus! Argh. No. Let’s leave him out of it. Aziraphale’s eyes were suddenly bright through the tears. “You were jealous?” he said. A smile. He could work with that. “Of course I was jealous, Angel,” Crowley said. “What do you think? I spend 6000 years waiting and then you’re in love with someone else. Giving that bouquet to someone else? I was going mad.” “And why would that be?” Aziraphale moved a little closer and looked coyly at him. “Is there something else you wanted to say?” “Ummm, I sort of thought you were planning on saying it first.” “I was,” Aziraphale said, moving even closer and removing Crowley’s glasses, “but since you said those terrible things, I think it now falls to you.“ Fair, thought Crowley. All the reasons he had hesitated before were gone now anyway. He pulled Aziraphale closer until they were touching and the angel’s face filled his vision. His scent, his hair, his touch. Crowley was afraid he might cry, this was so wonderful after wanting it for such a long time. He felt dizzy. “Angel, I love you,” he said a bit hoarsely, and kissed him. “And Demon, I love you,” said Aziraphale, when they paused. They laughed and leaned in for a second kiss. “I guess I should give you your gift,” he said when they pulled apart after a bit. “Eh,” Crowley said, “Maybe tomorrow. I don’t care about the gift. But I could use some more wine, and I definitely want to discuss those flowers.” He grinned. “You know how I love plants.” Aziraphale smiled and gave one of his happy little wiggles. “I was hoping we might,” he said brightly, and turned to get the wine.