#that turned into and essay
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i feel strongly about this
#every time i turn on the captions on a big famous youtubers vid and it just uses autogenerated im like grrrrr#but every time i turn on captions on a one person project 4 hr video essay and theyre manually written an angel gets its wings#im not deaf or HoH either. i just fucking lvoe captions#text#1k#2k#uh oh people rightfully so said it was ironic i didnt put alt text on this. there is alt text now!#5k#10k#20k#30k#40k#50k
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"top ten movies about Girlhood" whose girlhood? whose girlhood? what kind of girl are these movies about? answer quickly.
#weirdly enough the fits never seems to be on that list#weirdly enough you also dont tend to see any fat girls in that pretty lil video essay thumbnail#perhaps there will be a Sapphic if youre lucky#what is girlhood? whose girlhood is it? but like. u know whose.#off topic#this was originally gonna be a post abt horror movies i swear but it turns out im annoyed by this in multiple genres#ungodly screeching
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pride and prejudices your hansry ✨🌿
#illustration#artists on tumblr#kingdom come deliverance#kingdom come deliverance 2#kcd2#hansry#sir hans capon#henry of skalitz#ok the way this entire pairing has ruined my enTIRE LIFE RN#i have so many feelings so many coherent thoughts to turn into essays but all i say instead is AAAAA
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anyway dai solas you will always be famous to me. nothing but respect for my boy who wandered off mid-cutscene in the hinterlands to go help out refugees, is extremely good at Lies Of Omission™️, has a whole spy/agent/informant network of elves who followed him, fervently argues that it's unethical to be happy about killing bandits bc they had lives and loved ones, describes his own temple(?) prison(?) as having "indecipherable" elven writing, has ferocious debates with dorian and iron bull about slavery, set himself on fire once by mistake, and within about a year of his 10000 year lifespan, went from seeing all the world as disposable emotionless husks, to developing actual friendships and even falling in love.
and then! still thought it was necessary to destroy and reset the world! but he would treasure the chance to be wrong again!!
#dragon age#solas#veilguard critical#txt#look. if you set up ''this character is extremely smart and generally cares about people''#and then add ''they're doing something completely unhinged and destructive sounding''#then the conclusion should not be ''wow this dumbass is just doing it to ~drown the world in demons 🙄~“#there needs to be an actually satisfying back and forth even IF the conclusion is that the veil stays up#personally i think. elf immortality is overrated and mortality SHOULD be part of thedas bc it is not actually silmarillioncore#but man. maybe just turn the veil down to like 30% opacity like it is for the avvar. they're chilling.#defibrillate the titans a bit (gently) and then it's fine. just a fun high fantasy setting#anyway it becomes like the anders effect where the like#7 years of unpaid frontline healthcare get Utterly Outweighed by one kind of inevitable act of violence#imo an underrated part of solas' character is that he presumably passed out at the worst possible blight-riddled tyranny era of arlathan#and then woke back up to a blight-riddled and tyrannical future#but he missed both the several hundred years before tevinter attacked arlathan#and the dales#and the early chantry which seemed significantly cooler than the later chantry#i got lost in my tag essay but i think solas' most evil crime was mistranslating all those inscriptions#academic malpractice. get his ass. 1000 years dungeon until he does it properly
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cinderella adaptation for my comics history class :)
#tomorrow i have to write an essay about why i did all of this the way i did. not sure how that's gonna go bc i did not think about it <3#skribbles#edit: guys i just looked at the assignment. eight PANELS. not eight pages. oh my fuckin g god#whatever im turning this in anyway she got extra work out of me because i cant read (i probably would have done it anyway)
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Feuċ, súile Dé go fuireaċ air
#bloodborne#father gascoigne#* taps sign * FATHER. remember that guys.#decadentart#caption is from notmal McLeod’s translation of psalms#specifically this is a part of psalms 33 18#interprt my message . muahahahhahahs#I think his relationship with his faith is .. complicated#in my headcanon hes actually really gentle. he is a priest after all. not reallt a violent man#but to kill beasts is sacred and holy. but its still killing#i think to an extent he can realize hes changing . mentally And physically. but he cant stop now#siiighhhh. they made a priest kill people and now he has to justify it to himself#and also he has to contend witb turning into what he can only consider a demon#do you think he wonders why hes being ‘punished’? what he did wrong in the eyes of God to deserve this?#fears for how much hes changed..?#Idk im insane and very hungry. i have like an entire essays worth of thinfs to say abt him. and i made it all up#i am very hungry rn. ggrueuaggghhhhhhhh#i could put my ramblings into a lot more sense like. not in tumblr tags#trust me. truusstt mmeee#also i know the cross isnt really used in bloodborne#however#shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up#hes not from yharnam and im not going over the slug jesus injoke rn. Okay#Also shorthand so YOU understand what this is abt :) yay
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The way some of yall mischaracterize Ratio as being stoic in chill when in reality he is 24/7 resisting the urge to rip everyone around him a new one is crazy to me like. He cares so much, so much. It’s unhealthy, he loses the idgaf war every time because Ratio is the least nonchalant person ever like



He was this close to breaking character and throttling Sunday like you cannot tell me he wasn’t planning a murder in this scene. Ratio straight up calls Sunday a crazy bitch but everyone brushed it aside 😭
Honestly his entire conversation with Screwllum is just him tweaking, watch it on YouTube the VAs performance is amazing, you can here just how much He Cares

Genuinely, Aventurine is way better at concealing his true feelings that Ratio. Ratio may be acting for the sake of the plan but the way he truly feels about anything he’s doing always seeps through, it’s why he apologizes to Aventurine in 2.0 in their staged argument scene. It’s why he is as mean to Sunday as he can be. It’s why him pretending that he “hates” Aventurine makes him act so silly. Ratio can’t fully commit to the bit, he can’t force himself to not care or to be someone he isn’t, because fundamentally Ratio CARES and that is something he is incapable of hiding, alabaster bust or not.
The problem is that him expressing his care is often done in a rude and/or blunt manner which people tend to interpret as stoicism or apathy when it’s anything but. Ratio’s vial that he gives to Aventurine is short, sweet and gets straight to the point, because that’s the easiest way for Ratio to express his emotions, even if it’s often detrimental for him and anyone else around him. However Aventurine understands him quite well, and knows that although brief, Ratio telling him to “stay alive, survive this and keep on living” is how he truly feels towards Aventurine, and that’s enough to keep him going.
Underneath Ratios carefully crafted marble facade is a man who cares so much and is so bad at expressing it and I wish the community in general, especially Aventio shippers would acknowledge that more. Ratios true moments of sincerity are brief, but they are anything but stoic. Let the man be soft, it’s in character.
#This turned into a mini essay whoops#I hold Ratios party voiceline for Aven so close to my heart#Not the EN one idk what the translators were on but CN is UGHH it’s so good#Someone else can point out the potentially ableist undertones to how people view Ratio#I’m not gonna do that again because the last time was a disaster#“He’s selfish and cruel and narcissistic” *concerned glance*#Like I know some of it is just hoyo players having the media literacy of rocks#But like theres something wrong there just is it sits so wrong with me#Begging yall to write him correctly in fan content PLEASSEEE#dr ratio#aventurine#aventio#Not necessarily a ship post though
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Listening to Dan and Phil on Shut Up I’m Talking and man, I love how grown up they are. Like actually, literally, behaving like mature adults who talk about business and marketing and gatekeepers and long-term career choices. It feels good that they are real functioning adults and they make the content that they do, because it makes space for me/us to be real functioning adults and enjoy the content that they make.
Because they’re right; there IS a sense in society that “Dan and Phil” and “YouTube” and being “chronically online” and participating in fandom is juvenile. But guess what? Being fun and silly and weird and gay and hopeful aren’t juvenile qualities, they’re just things capitalism society doesn’t want grown-ups to express. Because being an adult is antithetical to joy, apparently.
But Dan and Phil have created a safe environment for being both grown-up and indulging in joy. Hearing them talk like mentors to younger internet folks like Tom and Jack, and hearing them speak so professionally about their careers really brings out the maturity of their content and I really appreciate that.
#does this make sense?#this was supposed to be a lil nice compliment and it turned into an essay#should I give my rants a tag#media rants#Dan and Phil#dnp#dip and pip#dan and phil games#dnpgames#Daniel Howell#phil lester#amazingphil#shut up i’m talking podcast#Tom and Jack#tommyinnit#jack manifold#my stuff
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pelican town, ‘72
#stardew valley#stardew valley spoilers#sdv#sdv spoilers#grandpa#mister qi#mr. qi#idk how dates work in stardew universe im just bullshittin#i love qi’s huge fucking eyebrows you dont notice them at first but theyre there#(gives our collective grandpa a ponytail) i think he had one. whatever#’why isnt mister qi blue’ my hc is he is blue from long-term iridium supplementation#and was originally just a regular person#but also it’s nice to see ur fav be like a normal human color#if u read tag essays tho consider this:#qi discovers secret to immortality (consuming iridium in a specific manner)#wants to share discovery with his farmer (player’s grandpa) and in that way. they will have all the time in the world to build#a perfect farming/business empire whose legacy will last forever and ever and theyll be 2gether forever#but it turns out. like a lot of normal people would. his farmer does not want to live forever#and obv he doesn’t#in an attempt to try not to ever lose the thing that means more to him than anything else in the world. qi inadvertantly ensures he will#because his farmer is dead. and he’s going to live forever#but. it’s kind of ok. because he has infinite money and was able to figure out how to talk to his dead bf#and now YOU help them fulfill their joint goal of making the farm’s legacy last forever#smile. heart#sobbing
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Does it matter why Lot's wife looked back? She looked back because she loved her daughters. She looked back because she loved her home. She looked back because she loved the past. She looked back because she loved the world. Remember Lot’s wife: it's intended as a warning, but I have adopted it as a creed. When the world burns, I will fill my eyes with as much of it as I possibly can. I can think of no greater honor than to remain on the earth. You are worth turning around for. You are worth transformation. You are the heat that lights the match that lights the hearth that warms me. You are everything.
Amelia K., “I: Vision - Eurydice, Mangan’s Sister, & Lot’s Wife”
#haunted by this essay that i never saved still STILL#q#lit#quotes#amelia k#essays#eurydice mangans sister and lots wife#one more kiss before we turn the lights off#favourite#m#x
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My Favourite Helluva Boss Character - Fizzarolli
#Hellaverse#Helluva Boss#Fizzarolli#Fizz#Blitzo#Blitzø#Blitz#Asmodeus#Ozzie#Fizzarozzie#Gifs#One day I’ll write the whole ass essay about why I love Fizz#but for now a simple gifset is enough#No ‘top 10’ this time because it turned out I have thoughts only about like three characters#so instead I made ten gifs of Fizzarolli#and I have no regrets#Might as well make a gifset of my favourite ship#which is obviously Fizzarozzie#and then I’ll be officially dead I have stupid exams to prepare for
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why knowing the unseen worked (and why i'm afraid mafu6 won't)
disclaimer: ena's father did traumatize her and his actions can't be justified. but the event doesn't try to justify them or act like he's had a complete change of heart since then
the fundamental nature of the abuse was different, so reconciliation is cathartic and beneficial for ena but not for mafuyu
ena's dad put her down, so what she needs is to be lifted up. mafuyu's mom wanted to control who she was, so what she needs is to break free (which she's already done)
the point of adding depth to shinei is making ena realize she's not talentless like she thought, that she's worthy of being an artist. what would be the point for mafuyu of having her mom suddenly show remorse?
ena's dad made her feel worthless because her self-worth was tied to her art. so to realize that she's actually been the most precious thing to him ever since she was born is rewarding for her. it's not about redeeming him
mafumom could say all kinds of nice things to her daughter in the next event and it wouldn't mean anything. she already calls her a "good girl" and stuff all the time. she's manipulative
shinei is not manipulative. he couldn't be even if he tried because the man is emotionally incompetent
that's why it's only through his art that he's able to convey his true feelings to his daughter, which is so fitting since art is the thing they share, or at least should share
mafumom has already had an arc, which was like the opposite of a redemption arc. mafuyu went from thinking of her as a good mom to realizing she was destroying her. to redeem her now would just be going backwards
by contrast, knowing the unseen is the first time we're really delving into shinei's character, and what we learn about him doesn't contradict anything from before
rephrased: mafuyu thought her mom truly loved her, but it turns out she only loved the idealized daughter in her head. ena thought her dad didn't care about her, but it turns out he loved her from the start
so yeah
#sorry if this is incoherent#i was going to use this as an outline and turn it into a proper essay post but#i don't think i'll have time to do all that before the event ends on en#project sekai#pjsk#nightcord at 25:00#n25#ena shinonome#mafuyu asahina#mafumom#shinei shinonome#shinonome ena#asahina mafuyu#kana5#niigo
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maybe I'm overthinking things, but whenever I see people talking about significant/transformative moments in tianshan's relationship (barring their fight, the kiss, the ear piercing, etc.), I'm always a little disappointed no one points out the scene where the boys are going through the cardboard boxes of random things from he tian's childhood and he tian says something to the effect of, "the entire world is out there but everything I've ever owned only fits in these two boxes" and then he discreetly places his hand palm-up between him and guan shan. and guan shan pauses for a moment before placing his glass in his hand. and then the chapter ends.
this moment is one of the few panels I've saved over the years:


like... it's short but there's so much emotion behind this scene, it's hard for me to put it into words succinctly. and it stands out to me because it's not particularly intense or climatic like their other big moments. it happens soon after she li assaulted guan shan on the riverbank — which was heavy on the drama and ultimately the catalyst for tianshan's relationship. he tian had also just been financially cut off from his family and guan shan had been physically and emotionally vulnerable/exhausted for some time. basically, things were still raw and hectic for both of them in different ways
so this quiet, subdued, and wordless interaction between them on the balcony was very interesting. I honestly think it's one of the first instances in which tianshan have a personal/intimate mutual understanding of one another without an outside force influencing it or the moment being interrupted. and somehow, it's both abnormal and very fitting that he tian didn't make a grand gesture in this moment. like, if you think about it, he simply turned his hand on the cushion and looked at guan shan. it wasn't obvious; he wasn't making a scene. but of course guan shan, hyperaware of him, noticed
and the fact that the chapter ends after that also stands out to me. again, if he tian was being his normal self, he probably would've said/complained outright that he obviously wanted guan shan to give him his hand, not his glass, or he probably would've grabbed guan shan's hand as he was placing the glass down because he tian always just takes what he wants and tames guan shan's defiance or embarrassment after the fact
but instead, the chapter ends. and it doesn't even feel abrupt, really. it feels complete. and it makes me assume that he tian accepted the glass as guan shan's response and didn't press the issue. he might've just held onto the glass in his lap (or drank from it while maintaining eye contact) and then moved his attention back to the group at large. and, again, that's both abnormal and fitting for him in this scene
and I know I just said "guan shan's response" but what's frustrating — and fascinating! — is that I've yet to come to a definitive conclusion about what the (unspoken) question/response between them was to begin with. of course, he tian had just finished talking about the paradoxical state of his life — about how he could have everything and yet he has next to nothing — so maybe his "question" for guan shan was as simple as: "even if I don't have/want anything else, can I at least have you?"
but I also think it's interesting to consider that jian yi immediately laughed at he tian after he finished talking, accusing him of being dramatic (and in jian yi's defense, he'd never really seen an honest version of he tian like guan shan had at that point, so I don't blame him for thinking he tian was just being melodramatic for attention as per usual). anyway, jian yi and zheng xi got a good chuckle out of it, but guan shan didn't. iirc, he actually looked a bit lost in thought before he noticed he tian looking at him, and then his hand between them
with that small detail, it makes me think he tian's question leaned more toward: "do you believe me?" or maybe "do you understand me in the ways I want you to?"
I'd like to think he tian wouldn't have offered his hand if guan shan had also rolled his eyes with zhanyi — poor little rich boy — and dismissed what he'd said. but then again, with the state of their situation/relationship at that point, I don't think there was a chance in hell that guan shan would've dismissed him. I'm sure we can all agree that he tian's intense emotional response to finding guan shan injured and subsequently taking care of him without expecting anything in return drastically changed guan shan's perspective of him. guan shan had a lot to process at that point in the manhua, and a lot of hard truths to start acknowledging. it was clear that he tian had a lot on his mind during that time, too
so guan shan placing the glass in he tian's palm might've been him saying, "I'm still figuring this (us) out... but my answer isn't no" (hence the reason why he tian presumably didn't push the issue further bc he was more cognizant of guan shan's boundaries by this point) or it might've been him saying, "yeah, I'm starting to understand you, and you're not what I thought you were but that's not scaring me away" (therefore affirming he tian's question so he didn't feel the need to pursue the moment or make a bigger scene)
in any case, although there's no continuation after that scene, I think they were both satisfied by the end of the evening. I don't think he tian was disappointed by guan shan's response, and guan shan would've known that too. in fact, I'd argue that guan shan wanted to reaffirm he tian's emotions in that moment. the worst (yet easiest) thing guan shan could've done is look at him, look at his hand, and then look away and ignore him — literally leaving him empty-handed. that would've left he tian in a sour fucking mood... or at least a bit wounded
but instead, guan shan chose the more honest/reciprocal route even if he wasn't 100% sure yet. and... I don't know. it really stands out to me and I think a lot more was happening in that interaction than what could've been expressed in words. and yet I've literally never seen anyone talk about that scene since it was posted — which, fair enough. it's only a couple of panels. but I think about it constantly!
#19 days#tianshan#and don't get me started on the scene in the VERY early chapters when guan shan is running from she li in the subway and barely makes it ->#back to he tian in the train car before the doors close#THAT was a HUGE turning point in their relationship too imo (even if it was subconscious)#but that's an essay for another day lmao#speaking of essays... I just re-discovered the potentially controversial post I wrote up months ago in my drafts#some of you might remember me posting about things I wanted to address in the fandom but was too worried about backlash#and many of you were so supportive and sweet!#so maybe i'll consider posting it since it's practically complete... but i have some urgent school stuff to finish first!#fay talks
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hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au
turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else
now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident
also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out
#turbo#turbotastic#fix it felix jr#80s boyfriends#hammertastic#headcanon about them exchanging their trophies isn't mine but i loved it A LOT#and “darling” is turbo making fun of how felix was calling him in 80s#this hc about “doll” and “darling” pet names also is not mine but i adore it#turbo here is a complete freak who just stays around felix most of the time even when felix has moments with calhoun#and felix is an ass who keeps secrets from everyone bc he doesn't want his dirt to come out#he's ashamed of his previous relationship with turbo and doesn't want anyone to know any details#and calhoun to just know about it#this just gets worse and worse#they also didn't actually break up and were still technically dating when turbo went gamejumping#and he's mad af at felix because he's the reason ppl in the acrade made a boogeyman out of turbo and he couldn't come back#like imagine your bf says to you what you are better than others think of you#and then behind your (presumably dead) back tells everyone that you're just an egocentric maniac#i believe turbo has other reasons why he gamejumped (besides jealousy which took place but wasn't the most important reason)#and felix is an unreliable narrator#so yeah turbo HATES his ass#(but still would-) no im not making it suggestive#anyway i hc that turbo had put A LOT of emotions in this relationship even tho he's bad at this#he tried his best with felix but they were just making each other worse#and turbo while feeling betrayed never really moved on (yes even after 25 years he's PATHETIC)#and felix is just full of regret about everything but he won't admit his mistakes in his relationship with turbo#bc “well he turned out to be a bad person so that automatically makes me in the right about everything”#but felix had made a lot of bad decisions while dating turbo and was just classically ignorant about a ton of things#sorry about this random ass essay in tags i'm done for now#wreck it ralph#wir
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No good deed goes unpunished
(this ones been in the works for a while but i am yet again back on my bullshit. watercolor, ink, gel pen, and a bit of colored pencil. please don't repost but reblogs are totally fine)
#going insane over the wicked parallels as per usual#so much so that i am writing an essay about it and turning it in for a grade lmao#transformers#tf one#transformers one#maccadam#dpax#megop#megaop#wicked the musical#d 16#megatron#orion pax#my fanart
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doodles some of my favs from One Piece because after two years I'm finally almost up to date with this anime😭
#what a journey it was haha#I thought about giving up a few times#especially at the beginning#but damn#I've already watched over a thousand episodes somehow#It's hard for me to say exactly what I think about One Piece#Sometimes I didn't like the series and sometimes it touched my heart#There are things I have to complain about One Piece#but if I turn a blind eye to certain things#I had quite a lot of fun#Overall I think I could write a whole essay about this because there's a lot to break down xD#but nah I just wanted to throw in some fanart of characters I liked#One Piece#OP#Luffy#Nami#Nico Robin#Portgas D. Ace#Yamato#Trafalgar Law
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