#that the people who would want to push themselves beyond that are doing it for nefarious reasons

[orpheuslament]

i just think that in general people need to be more comfortable with interacting with art that makes them uncomfortable, as strange as that sounds lol. imo weve gotten way too used to everything being made to appease us & making us feel good (tm) about ourselves that anything that dares cross that invisible barrier is immediately deemed wrong & immoral

[fionnaskyborn]

one day when i am not busy dying on the inside and out i will write an honest-to-god essay about how people are, for the lack of a better descriptor but simultaneously for the lack of a more perfect one, too edgy about five.

[tranquilreign]

seven | oneshot | 18+

- © tranquilreign - all rights reserved | DO NOT STEAL, TAKE, or COPY any of MY WORK without MY PERMISSION.

🗒 details

pairing; jungkook/reader genre: 18+ f!boyjk! college au! rivals to lovers(?) warnings: swearing, sexual-fucking-tension, teasing, jimin likes to join in on the teasing (slightly), porn with little plot (?), sexual themes, nudity, oral (m&f receiving), a lot of teasing, fingering, praise kink, creampie, protected sex (reader is on contraception), jealous kookie, needy kookie, deep throating, orgasm denial, slightly possessive kookie, nipple play, dirty talk, voyeurism, public sexish(?), hickies, overstimulation, mirror sex, just a lot of sex word count: 14.5k permanent taglist: @someoneelse0109

🖋 synopsis

seven (n.) seh·vehn a group or unit of seven people or things

seven days a week, seven locations, plenty of positions. when you lose a bet to infamous playboy jeon jungkook, you can't help but feel as if you lost on purpose.

🖇links

jungkook masterlist main masterlist request | request rules prompt list

Saturday.

Music blasted from the house speakers, so loud that the liquids in the discarded cups and bottles rippled in time with the bass. It was the end of the college year, meaning you had to celebrate by drinking away the weekend.

Groups of friends hussled together, the confined space almost claustrophobic. Several people had abandoned the party early, pulling someone up the stairs by the hand, obviously to have some privacy.

Jungkook sat at one of the tables, a smug look plastered over his face as he dealt another round of cards. His friends sat around him, nudging each other and muttering amongst themselves.

You sat across from Jungkook, lightly tapping your nails against the wood. Your other arm was casually slung over the back of Namjoon's chair. Letting out a sigh of impatience, you let your head roll back, exposing your neck to the infamous fuckboy.

He watched you closely, subconsciously licking his lips as he stared at the sweat that glistened against your skin.

"Sometime today, Kook," you teased.

You looked back at him, staring at him with such an intensity that he swallowed out of mild nervousness. You didn't like Jungkook, but you didn't hate him either. He was a fuckboy, and a charming one at that.

He knew exactly what to say and how to act to get any girl to want him. It infuriated you, him having a new girl every night. The thought of him being buried between another girl's legs made you jealous beyond belief.

Not that you would ever admit that to him. You knew he would flirt with other girls to get your attention, always stealing glances to ensure you were watching. But two could play at that game. From then on, whenever one of his friends would speak to you, you made sure to be extra friendly, your touch lingering a little too long on their arms or chest when they made you laugh.

They had taken notice of your antics, finding it amusing that you could bite back. Jungkook's best friend, Jimin, had decided to play along. He would lean against the wall that your back was pressed against, and move down to speak in your ear. Your eyes would stay on Jungkook, watching his jaw clench and usually soft and playful eyes turn into a glare.

"Have some patience, Y/n," Jungkook replied, dealing out the final card and setting the deck face down onto the table.

You stood out of your chair, leaning over to him. He watched you hungrily, eyeing your cleavage. You subtly pushed your breasts closer together, smirking, when Jungkook reacted. You took his bucket hat from him, giggling flirtatiously when you placed it on your head and sat back down.

Jungkook didn't utter a word as he watched your breasts bounce lightly. He tried not to palm himself in his jeans, feeling the discomfort increase.

"Just get on with it. I'm getting bored," you taunted, side eyeing Jimin, who sat on your left.

He tried his best to stifle his laughs, watching the scene unfold. He loved nothing more than watching Jungkook lose himself with you. He knew Jungkook loved making you jealous, but nothing was more fun than contributing to making him jealous.

"Alright, alright," Jungkook breathed.

The game started with Jungkook as the dealer. You looked at your cards: two of diamonds and an ace of spades. Jungkook slowly worked around the circle, and people either stayed or went bust when they asked for another card.

"Right, your turn, Y/n."

"Hit," you spoke.

Jungkook flipped a card down onto the table. Six of diamonds. You nodded, indicating another hit. Jungkook flipped another card. Three of clubs. You sat and thought, looking at everyone else's hands. Not many high cards had been flipped, increasing your chances of a loss.

"Sometime today, Y/n," Jungkook mocked.

You smiled sarcastically at him, asking him for one more hit. You bit your lip, watching as Jungkook flipped the final card for you. Queen of hearts.

"Fuck," you whined, throwing your cards onto the table. "I'm bust."

Jungkook grinned, tutting at you tauntingly. Your tongue darted across your upper lip, suppressing the urge to insult him.

"I just think you cheat. Every game we've played, I've either been bust or you've had a higher number than me by one," you huffed, rolling your eyes.

Jungkook laughed.

"I'm afraid Blackjack is a game of chance, love. Maybe you're just unlucky," he teased, piling all the cards back into the deck.

"I'm not this unlucky."

Jungkook ran his hand through his hair and leaned back in his seat. He shuffled the cards casually, locking eyes with you.

"I'll tell you what. I'll let you shuffle and deal," he suggested, sliding the cards over to you. "And we'll make a bet."

The idea intrigued you. Leaning forward, you rested your elbows on the table, your chin on your interlocked hands. You thought for a moment, then shrugged and grabbed the cards.

"Fine. If I win," you began, shuffling the cards skillfully in your hands, "you can't sleep with anyone for a month."

Jungkook grinned. He liked where you had gone with this bet. He let his thoughts wander, wondering what the best reward would be for him if he won. His eyes landed on Jimin, who casually put his arm over your chair and leaned close to whisper in your ear. His gaze hardened at his friend's closeness, which you had noticed.

"If I win, I get to have you all to myself next week."

His friends let out cheers in unison, while your stomach flipped. You hadn't expected him to be so bold, especially in front of his friends. You shifted in your seat, feeling your underwear dampen at his words.

"Fine."

You dealt the cards between the two of you. You glanced at your cards, checking they didn't add up to twenty-one while Jungkook looked at his.

"Hit," he spoke, voice breathy.

You flipped over the first card, revealing a 5 of clubs. He asked for another hit, and you obeyed, flipping over the next card. He grinned.

"Stay."

He placed his cards down onto the table, revealing twenty-one. You closed your eyes, letting out a sigh in disbelief. How was this man so damn lucky?

You had a nine of spades and a three of hearts, which was not a good start. The first card you flipped had you cursing under your breath. Throwing your hand onto the table, you let your head fall against the back of the chair.

"Bust."

Jungkook and his friends cheered and laughed, looking at the king of spaces on the table with your two other cards.

"Looks like you're gonna be all mine next week, love," Jungkook teased, eyeing you lustfully.

Your nerves got the better of you, and you avoided eye contact with the man who smirked at you. Your heart raced at his words, your chest rising and falling quickly.

Jungkook stood up and squeezed past his friends, so he stood next to you. He hooked his forefinger under your chin, forcing you to look up at him. Jungkook suppressed a groan when you looked at him. He fought with every ounce of his being not to take you right there on the table.

"I'll see you Monday, love. I'm really looking forward to it."

Sunday.

You had awoken with a pounding headache, groaning as you sat up. The rays from the morning sun shone through the partially closed blinds, making you screw your eyes shut to try and block the light.

"Morning," a familiar voice hummed next to you.

Hoseok sat beside you, holding some ibuprofen and a glass of water. You had ended up at Hoseok's house, which he shared with Namjoon and Yoongi.

"Thanks," you rasped, taking the medicine from Hoseok's palm.

You threw your head back, letting the pill fall into your mouth. Then, you took a gulp of water, letting it wash down with ease.

"You remember what happened last night?" Hoseok asked.

"Unfortunately, yes, I do," you sighed.

You let your head fall into your hands, recalling the previous night. You had lost the bet with Jungkook, meaning that tomorrow, you were all his. You sat, crossing your fingers, silently praying he would forget.

Ping.

"Of course," you groaned.

You knew who it was before you even checked your phone. Jungkook's message popped up on your screen, making you want to hide away under the covers of Hoseok's bed.

Make sure you're at mine by 11:00 pm. Our bet won't start til tomorrow, but I want you here before then. You'll be all mine from the second it hits midnight.

"Hoseok," you whined. "Please get me out of this."

"No can do. You made that bet when you were tipsy. And you had been teasing that boy all night. You did this to yourself," Hoseok replied.

He stood up and left, leaving you to your own thoughts. You fell back onto he bed, groaning in frustration. Why did you have to tease him so much? The idea of this bet wouldn't have even crossed your mind if you weren't shamelessly flirting with him and his best friend.

Huffing, you pulled yourself out of bed, tugging on your joggers, which Hoseok probably took off for you last night, and slumped down the stairs.

"Morning, Y/n," Namjoon greeted with a grin.

"Don't, I know what you're gonna say," you replied, holding your hand up to him. "I fucked up."

"I wouldn't say that," Yoongi mumbled from the chair behind you. "More so that Jungkook's gonna fuck you up-"

"Oh my god, stop!" you cried out, burying your face in your hands.

The two boys laughed as Hoseok entered, carrying a plate of bacon, eggs and toast. He put the plate on the table as you moved to sit down.

"It can't be that bad, can it?" Namjoon asked. "I mean, ever since the start of college, you've both been trying to get each other worked up or jealous."

"That's different, though! It's harmless flirting," you defended, picking up your fork and playing with the scrambled eggs.

"Yeah, because Jungkook looking like he's gonna rail you against the wall all the time is harmless flirting," Yoongi replied.

He moved up from the chair to stand beside you, leaning against the island table on his forearms.

"Just admit it, you both like each other."

"We don't like each other," you snapped, glaring at the man. "He's a fuckboy, liking someone isn't in his brain chemistry."

"I'm just saying, people who don't like each other don't get jealous when they aren't getting attention," Yoongi finished, shrugging.

You smacked him on the shoulder gently, scolding him for his words. He only grinned, pushing himself off the table and moving into the living room.

"You might be overthinking this as well," Namjoon added.

You snorted.

"Joon, it's Jungkook. Of course he's going to try and fuck me," you replied.

"Are you against that?"

You were silent, unknowing of what to say. You had no idea why you were suddenly against this bet. The thought of it last night excited you, so why did it leave you feeling self-conscious?

"See. You're just overthinking," Namjoon stated.

With that, he walked away, leaving you alone. You thought over the different scenarios that could play out. Not knowing how this would go down made you even more nervous, but all you could do now was wait.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Evening had come around much sooner than you would have liked. You packed a travel bag, filled with all the essentials, and realised that if Jungkook wanted this, you would give it to him and make this an unforgettable week for both of you.

Standing before his apartment door, you inhaled deeply, feeling your nerves slowly return. Gently, you knocked, looking at your phone to appear nonchalant. The door swung open to reveal Jungkook—except he stood in nothing but a towel.

"Hey-" you paused when you looked up from your phone.

All casualness had disappeared as your eyes wandered shamelessly over his body. Water dripped from his hair into his muscular chest, and the muscles in his arms tensed slightly as he adjusted the towel hanging loosely around his waist. He couldn't help but grin as your eyes roamed his body.

"Bang on eleven," he teased. "Eager are we?"

You scoffed.

"You wish."

You gently pushed past him, careful not to accidentally touch him as you did so. He watched you closely, noticing how your breathing had picked up when you entered.

You couldn't help but gasp in awe at his home. It was beautiful, stylised in a modern aesthetic, and surprisingly tidy. The black furniture contrasted elegantly with the living room's white walls, with hints of colour being found in the accessories.

"You actually have good taste," you sighed.

"And what do you mean by that?" he asked, suspiciously close to your ear.

You jerked away at his sudden closeness, stepping away to ensure space between you.

"I just mean, I pictured you to seem more... basic, I guess," you responded. "So where am I sleeping then?"

"With me, of course."

Your head fell back as you let out a loud, overdramatic laugh. Jungkook raised an eyebrow at you, waiting for you to finish. You looked back at him, your smile faltering when you realised he was serious.

"Oh hell, no," you protested. "Nu-uh. You said-"

"I said-" Jungkook interrupted you, "that I would fully have you to myself as of next week. But there is only one bedroom, and I'd be damned if I'm letting you sleep on the couch."

"Then you sleep on the couch!" you countered.

"No, it's my bed."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!" you cried out, growing frustrated.

"Either way, if you sleep on the couch or in the bed, I'll be by your side," Jungkook explained.

Your heart fluttered at his words. He sounded sincere, almost as if he wanted to be close to you. To feel your skin on his.

"Fine," you grumbled. "But no funny business."

"At least until midnight," he grinned cheekily.

Monday.

Surprisingly enough, Jungkook hadn't tried anything, even after it hit midnight. You stood in the kitchen, humming quietly as you cooked breakfast. You'd be lying if you said you weren't nervous. You never expected this to happen between you and Jungkook, let alone it happening because of a stupid bet.

Jungkook had awoken not long after you, hair still a mess, as he walked into the kitchen in his boxers. He stood behind you, looking over your shoulder as you cooked.

"Smells good," he hummed, his breath fanning your neck.

You shivered at his raspy voice. He couldn't help but grin, walking over to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Your stomach flipped, and you felt yourself becoming wet. You hated how he had such an effect on you despite doing so little. You frowned, wanting to give him a taste of his own medicine.

As if a switch inside you flipped, you decided to suppress the nerves and fight back.

You ever so slightly pushed the waistband of your joggers down, revealing your emerald green underwear. You pulled at the sides, bringing them up over your hips to make it more visible.

Jungkook had walked back through as you were plating the food. His eyes immediately fell to your hips, inhaling sharply when he noticed your underwear. He felt his mouth go dry, his cock twitching in his boxers.

Fuck it.

He moved towards you, grabbing your hips and spinning you around to look at him. You were shocked by the sudden action, having no time to react when he pulled you in by the nape of your neck, kissing you.

He was rough, forcing open your mouth by gripping your cheeks with his hand. His tongue past your lips, entangling with your own. You moaned against his kiss, the sound almost sending him into a frenzy.

He pulled your body up against him, letting you feel his bulge poking your stomach. You ran your hand down his chest, stopping just above the waistband of his boxers. He hissed when you gently tugged the fabric and let it go, it slapping softly against his skin.

"Keep teasing me, and I'll show you what it's like," Jungkook warned.

You smirked into the kiss, continuing your ministrations while your other hand tangled in his hair, tugging occasionally. He grunted at your movements, his patience thinning. The final tug of his hair sent him over the edge. He pulled away, moving to shove the plates of food onto the floor with a crash.

"Jungkook," you scolded.

He didn't listen, spinning and bending you over the kitchen counter. You gasped, feeling his hands on your waist, massaging your sides. He bent over you, his bare chest flush against your back.

"I warned you not to tease me. But you decided to act like a brat," he spoke lowly. He straightened back up, staring at the waistband of your joggers. He hesitated.

"If you're going to fuck me, do it," you challenged.

That's all he needed to hear. Your joggers were at your ankles, your thong and ass on full display. He let out a groan, grabbing the flesh and kneading it.

"God, you're so fucking hot," he breathed, gently spanking you, watching as you ass recoiled against his touch. "I'll have you begging for mercy by the time I'm done with you."

He knelt down, now level with your clothed heat. He breathed heavily, the cool air making you shiver as it hit against your soaked underwear. He chuckled at your reaction and leaned in, licking a slow strip up your clothed entrance.

The feeling of his warm tongue and the fabric of your underwear had an involuntary moan escape your lips. You jerked forward slightly at the sensation, not expecting it to feel so good. His hands moved back to your hips, pulling you back with a tug and keeping you in place.

Another moan echoed throughout the kitchen as he repeated his action, this time, his nose gently brushing against your clit before his tongue touched you.

"Fucking hell, Koo~" you moaned in bliss.

The use of the new nickname had him palming himself in his boxers, and the strain of release became too much. Letting go of one of your hips, he pulled his boxers down slightly allowing his cock sit against his stomach comfortably.

He moved his full attention back onto you, running his hands over your hips and grabbed the band on your underwear. You wiggled your ass, silently giving him permission to continue. Jungkook pulled your underwear off in one swift motion, letting it pool at your ankles with your joggers.

He couldn't help but groan at the sight of you, your wetness glistening against the light. Jungkook moved his hands to the back of your thighs, rubbing them and accidentally letting his thumb brush over your clit. You gasp at his touch, subconsciously pushing back into him. He stopped your actions.

"This is what you get when you disobey me," he breathed.

You whined at his words, but were too prideful to beg. He hummed, smirking as you squirmed in defiance. He brought his fingers up to your entrance, running his fore and middle finger between your folds, glazing them in your essence.

"Koo~ please," you cried, entirely giving up on what little dignity you had left.

"Since you asked so nicely."

A high-pitched moan ripped from your throat as Jungkook eased his fingers into you, almost pulling back out fully, then pushing back in further.

Your head fell against the counter, your legs shaking at his teasing movements. He grinned at how easily you melted into him, his fingers now entirely inside you. He gently curled his fingers, hitting against your sweet spot.

"Oh- oh my god," you breathed, your hand moving instinctively to the edge of the countertop and grabbing the edge.

"You're being obedient for me now? Being such a good girl," Jungkook whispered, seduction lacing his voice.

You let out a hum, nodding in response. Jungkook changed his tactic, thrusting his fingers into you at a steady pace. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head at the new feeling, and your walls tightened around him.

He chuckled at your body's natural reaction, deciding he'd reward you for your obedience. He leaned forward attaching his lips to your clit and sucking gently.

The combined feeling of his mouth and fingers had you seeing stars, instantly having you reach your high. A string of moans left your lips, your body trembling as Jungkook helped you ride out your orgasm. He slowly pulled his fingers out of you, making you whimper at the sensitivity between your legs.

"You look so good like this, baby," he exhaled.

Jungkook was pressed back up against you, cock resting between your ass cheeks. His breaths grew uneven as he began to grind into you.

"For fuck sake Koo, just fuck me," you pleaded, your hips bucking back into him when he'd grind into you.

"I'll need to-"

"I'm on contraception," you interrupted. "And fuck me properly, no more of these teasing shit," you paused. "Please."

Jungkook could have came right there at your words. He wasted no time taking his cock and positioning it at your entrance, soaking his tip in your arousal. You both moaned in unison, each feeling the pleasure.

He pushed in slowly, letting out a grunt as he felt you tighten around him again. Your moans mixed in with his as he stretched you, only stopping when he was fully inside. He leaned over you, the feeling of him pulling out of you slightly leaving you breathless.

"Are you ready, baby? Because once I start, I won't stop until I'm satisfied."

"God Koo~ yes, so ready for you," you cried, pushing back into him.

He straightened, grabbing your hips and, without any hesitation, thrusted back into you. You pulled your t-shirt up, stuffing it into your mouth to suppress your moans, the pleasure euphoric.

"Fuck, you feel so fucking good," Jungkook grunted, his head falling back from the pleasure.

His hand moved to your hair, pulling your head up. Your t-shirt fell out of your mouth, and you let out continuous moans. He laughed breathily, the sounds you made making him go feral.

"Let me hear you, baby," he grunted, his thrusts becoming rougher. "You're being such a good girl. Taking me so well."

"Yes, fuck Koo~" you whimpered. "Your good girl."

Jungkook almost came from your words. He had never thought you would be so submissive for him. He untangled his hand from your hair and moved it past your waist and between your legs.

"Come for me," he whispered.

His fingers rhythmically rubbed your clit in circular motions as he slightly slowed his pace. The combined feeling of him stretching your walls along with him stimulating your clit sent you over the edge. A long, breathy moan left you as your body shook again.

Jungkook didn't stop, though, leaving you a whimpering mess when the sensitivity became too much for you. You moved your arms behind you to push him away, but he held them behind your back with one hand.

"Just a little longer, baby," he breathed. "Be good for me a little longer."

Despite your sensitivity, you didn't actually want him to stop. The feeling of him in you was unbelievable. Pure bliss, you had never felt so complete or fulfilled by anyone. His grip on your arms and waist kept you in place as he trusted a few more times before reaching his high.

"Fuck Koo~" you whined, feeling him fill you with his come.

Jungkook grunted as he slowed his pace, riding out his orgasm. He exhaled, finally stopping his thrusts. Slowly, he pulled out, groaning as he watched his semen drip out of your soaked cunt.

"God, you're perfect," he breathed. "If I could, I'd bend you back over that counter."

You laughed, slowly, standing up straight, your mixed orgasms running down your leg. You wobbled slightly. Jungkook noticed, moving to grab your waist and keep you steady.

"I'll help you to the bathroom, baby. Get yourself cleaned up, and I'll clean up in here," he spoke softly, looking at the broken plates and food scattered over the floor.

Putting his cock back into his boxers, he then scooped you into his arms without hesitation, carrying you to the bathroom. He sat you down on the toilet, gently tucking a few loose strands of hair behind your ear.

"Thank you."

"Once you're finished in the shower, I'll also get cleaned up. I just don't want you stepping on any ceramic shards."

He left momentarily, leaving you by yourself.. With your desire now subsiding, you finally realised that you had sex with Jeon Jungkook. You buried your face in your hands, wanting to scream with joy.

You turned on the shower, thinking that six more days of this would be pure bliss.

Tuesday.

Today was different. You were awoken by your phone ringing, its sharp notes making Jungkook grunt in annoyance.

"Sorry," you mumbled, groggy.

You leaned over to the bedside table, sluggishly grabbing hold of it. You answered without looking at the caller, putting it to your ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey Y/n."

Jimin.

"Oh hey," you replied, perking it up a little.

Jungkook lifted his head, listening closely to the person on the other end. When he realised it was Jimin, he scoffed, threw the bed sheets off himself, and grabbed a pair of grey joggers. Without saying a word, he walked out of the bedroom.

You watched him leave, confused by his behaviour. Shrugging it off, you focused your attention back on Jimin.

"I just wanted to check up on you and see how it's going with Kook."

"It's uh-it's great," you replied sheepishly.

Jimin chuckled at your embarrassed tone. Jungkook returned, his glare hardening when he saw you still on the phone. He walked over, snatching the device from your hand.

"Hey!" you called.

"Sorry Jimin, she's gonna have to call you back," he snapped before handing up.

"Kook, what the fuck was that for!" you asked angrily.

He huffed, tossing your phone onto the bed, grabbing you by your ankle, and pulling you to the edge. You squeaked at the sudden pull, falling quiet when you locked eyes with him. He was jealous.

"You're mine, got it?"

You couldn't help but smile at him. Silently, you moved onto your knees, ass resting on your heels and slowly ran your hand up his bare chest. He melted slightly into your touch, a quiet sigh leaving his lips.

"If I weren't yours, would I be here?" you asked innocently.

He hummed at your question, not trusting himself to speak. You moved up from your heels, wrapping your arm around his neck, pulling him down and kissing him.

Jungkook smirked into the kiss, trying to take control of the situation when you pulled away. You shook your head, moving to stand up and spinning him around so he faced away from the bed. You pushed him gently, making him sit down.

You sank back down to your knees, spreading his legs further apart with your hands. He watched you eagerly, silently consenting to your movements.

Jungkook was hard, an outline of his bulge straining against his trousers. You palmed him through the fabric, making him throw his head back, letting out a quiet moan.

Slowly and teasingly, you pulled his trousers and boxers down, revealing his length. Wrapping your hand around his dick, you ran your finger over his tip. He shivered at the pleasure, locking eyes with you as you did so.

You smiled teasingly, pulling away and seductively licking the tip of your thumb. Jungkook couldn't take his eyes off you, finding you alluring to watch. You grabbed his cock again, running your now wet thumb over his head.

The new feeling had him leaning back on his hands, groaning. You flirtatiously tilted your head.

"You like that, Koo?~" you teased, applying a little more pressure as you swiped over his tip again.

"Fuck yes, baby," he spoke breathlessly.

You hummed, noticing pre-cum leaking from his cock. Taking the opportunity, you moved forward and wrapped your lips around him.

Jungkook instinctively grabbed the sheets on his bed, the feeling of your tongue swirling around his cock sending him into a state of euphoria.

All the jealousy he felt for Jimin was out the window. You were here with him, not Jimin, significantly boosting his ego. He fought the urge to thrust up into your throat, not knowing if it was something you would enjoy.

Like he had done to you yesterday, you slowly took in more of him with every bob of your head. You coated his cock in your saliva, making everytime you went back down on him easier.

He watched as you slowly worked your way down him, eyes widening in surprise, impressed by how well you were taking him. Relaxing your throat, and with one final push, you had taken him down to his base.

"Ah, fuck," he moaned, running his hand through your hair.

When you could no longer hold your breath, you pulled back, a gagging sound following. You gasped, your hand moving up and down his length to keep pleasuring him.

"Taking my cock so well," he cooed, moving his hand from your hair to your chin, wiping away saliva that ran down.

"I'm not done yet, baby," you whispered.

You moved back, and instead of deep throating him again, you bobbed your head at a steady pace, hollowing your cheeks as you did so. He groaned, slowly losing himself to the pleasure. He bucked his hips upwards, taking you a little by surprise.

"Shit, sorry baby," he stammered. "You just feel so fucking good."

You hummed, sending vibrations through him. He shook, feeling his orgasm getting close. You listened to him stutter, trying to speak. Knowing he was close, you suddenly pulled back, making him whine at the loss of pleasure.

"Why'd you do that?" he asked, pouting at you.

"You don't want to fuck me?" you asked, feigning innocence.

Those words alone gave him all the strength he needed. Jungkook grabbed you by the waist and stood, turning you and pushed you down onto the bed. He discarded his trousers and boxers entirely, climbing on top of you.

You lay underneath him, which gave him plenty of time to examine you thoroughly. He slowly ran his hand up your naked thigh, stopping just before he reached your underwear. You let out a slight whine when he stopped.

He continued shortly after, but instead of touching you where you wanted him most, he moved up, his hand snaking under your white t-shirt and in between your breasts.

"You think teasing me funny, baby?" you taunted.

"You weren't complaining when I was doing it," you pouted.

Ping.

The sound made you both look at your phone. Jimin's name could be read on the screen. Jungkook's jealousy rose again at his friend's name, and you watched his expression change. You bit your lip, unsure of what would come.

Jungkook lost all chivalry, tearing your t-shirt off from the neck. You yelped as your breasts bounced from the movement, nipples hardening from the cool air. Your breathing increased as he stared, eyes hardened in jealousy.

You watched as he lowered himself to your right breast, his hand snaking up to the other, grasping it firmly. He let his finger run lightly over your nipple while his lips attached to the other one.

You arched your back as the sensation of pleasure travelled through your body at his actions. He flicked and sucked at your nipple, occasionally biting gently, while his fingers worked on the other one.

"Holy shit. Kook."

"You have no idea how crazy you drove me when Jimin would flirt with you. You're mine, got that? And if I have to fuck that into you for you to understand, I will," he growled against your skin.

He switched to your other breast, blowing cold air against your nipple, then encasing his lips around it.

"I'm only yours," you replied, tangling your fingers through his hair.

Good.

He pulled back, staring at your reddened breasts. He grinned, moving to your underwear and pulling them off. His eyes rolled to the back of his head when he saw how wet you were.

Jungkook moved back up so he hovered over you, his cock pressed against your entrance. He looked at you, to which you nodded, and he pushed in.

"Fuck," you whispered, wrapping your legs around him and pushing him all the way.

He lowered himself, moaning softly into your ear at the familiar feeling of you around him. Jungkook grabbed a pillow from the top of the bed and effortlessly lifted your ass, placing the pillow underneath you.

Resting you back down onto the pillow, the new angle had you whimpering at how deep he was. He buried his face into your neck, breathing softly. You caressed his hair, letting your fingers glide down to trace small patterns into his muscular back.

He slowly pulled out and eased back into you, the feeling of him stretching you out, leaving you in a state of pure bliss. He grunted, feeling himself losing his composure at how good you felt.

"Baby, you feel so good," he mumbled, his breathing restless.

"Kook. Please," you begged, your back arching uncontrollably.

He aggressively kissed your neck, biting ever so slightly. He straightened and grabbed you by the hips. You both paused, looking at each other for a moment, then he proceeded to move you in rhythm with his thrusts.

You wailed, grabbing hold of Jungkook's forearms as some type of support for the pleasure you were feeling. He panted, watching as his cock slipped in and out of you with ease.

You both groaned in unison. Jungkook's thrusts slowed, but they became rougher as he did so. You were seeing stars, mouth agape from the pleasure as he hit you deeper than he had before.

He traced one of his hands up your body, to your breasts, massaging them. His fingers ran over your sensitive nipple, and then pinched, the pain and pleasure a perfect combination.

The steady pace Jungkook kept had you coming undone quickly, turning your face into the duvet cover to muffle your noises. Jungkook stared in awe at how beautiful you looked underneath him. Your skin had begun to glisten with sweat, your hair messily covering your eyes, and your soft hands gripped his forearms for support.

Jungkook suddenly lost his pace as he came, moving to lean on top of you as he orgasmed. His head rested against your breast, both of you panting loudly in the silence of the room.

"Fuck, Y/n," Jungkook whispered between breaths.

"What's wrong?" you asked, wondering if you had done something.

"Nothing, baby, you are just amazing. Your head is just... wow."

You chuckled slightly, both lying in a tangled mess, silently enjoying one another's company.

Wednesday.

Jungkook had decided that he had to join you in the shower. No matter how much you protested or insisted you shower separately, he was adamant that you be together.

At this point, you had both grown comfortable around being naked in front of one another, often sleeping together nude, with him spooning you. So you were both unbothered if one of you suddenly wandered around the house naked.

That was precisely what you were doing, trying to locate a towel. You covered your chest with your hands and wandered around the apartment.

"Kook!" you yelled, frustrated.

Jungkook was by your side in seconds, completely ignoring the fact that you were naked. He let his hands rest on your upper arms, looking at you with concern.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asked softly.

"Baby?" you asked. "You only call me baby when we're fucking."

Jungkook stammered over his words, heat rising in his cheeks in embarrassment. He awkwardly removed his hands from you, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Force of habit?" he replied, though it sounded more like a question.

"It's fine, Kook. I kind of like it, actually," you teased, gently tapping him on the nose with your finger. "The real issue is, I can't find a fucking towel."

Jungkook's eyes finally wandered over your body, subconsciously licking his lips and suppressing a smirk. You huffed, glaring at him and his lack of help.

"I'll go get us some. Just get in the shower, and I'll join you shortly."

"Okay."

You left the living room and wandered into the bathroom. You had turned on the shower earlier to let it heat up when you had noticed the missing towels. You moved your hand under the running water, humming in satisfaction at the perfect temperature.

You stepped in, sighing at the water hitting your skin. Turning to face the showerhead, you ensured the water soaked your body entirely. The feeling of the water hitting against your breasts made you shiver.

You let your hands roam your body, breath hitching when your fingers lightly brushed your sensitive bud. You continued the ministrations, a quiet moan emitting from you as you did.

Leaning forward, your head rested against the shower glass, eyes closed, drowning in the pleasure. Your other hand traced down your body and between your legs. Gathering some of your wetness on your fingers, you moved up to your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves gently.

Being so enveloped in your pleasure, you hadn't realised Jungkook had walked in. He stood silently, listening to your melodic moans. The shower glass had steamed up, but he could clearly see your silhouette. His mouth fell open when he watched you turn around to slide down the wall.

Not sparing a second thought, he quietly removed his clothes, discarding them in the laundry basket. He grabbed hold of his cock, pumping himself a few times as he watched you.

"Fuck, Kook-" you muttered absentmindedly, catching him off guard.

You were unaware he was outside the shower door, but your mind wandered to him as you played with yourself, wishing he were making you feel this good.

Your fingers now dipped inside you, while your thumb continued you rub your clit in circular motions. Back now arched, you let out a breathy moan, it echoing throughout the bathroom.

A string of quiet moans left you as your orgasm approached. Jungkook continued to jerk himself off, his tip now leaking with pre-cum. Your body jolted as your orgasm washed over you, the feeling causing your legs to shake in pleasure.

The sound of the shower door opening startled you, and you instinctively pulled your shaky legs up to your chest to cover yourself. Jungkook stepped into the shower, looking at you hungrily.

"Kook-" you began.

Jungkook cut you off, kneeling down to your level and pulling you into a heated kiss. You melted into him, expecting him to slip his tongue into your mouth. But he didn't. He continued to kiss you, passion burning inside both of you.

"Stand up," he breathed when he pulled away.

Jungkook helped you up, so you stood in front of him. The water was hitting against his back, little sprays of water dampening his hair. His hand snaked under your left leg, pulling it up. Naturally, you wrapped it around his waist, fully feeling his length against your heat.

Your head fell against his shoulder at the feeling, your desire for him increasing. He removed his hand from your leg, taking hold of his cock and angling it in front of your entrance.

"Please, want you so bad," you pleaded, kissing softly against his skin.

You bit down on him as he pushed into you, the feeling of him inside you, being too good. His head fell back in bliss, having you around him seemed to get better everytime he fucked you.

Now in you entirely, he slowly thrusted, the position slightly restricting his movements. But that didn't matter to you. Jungkook simply being inside you was all you needed.

On the other hand, Jungkook was growing frustrated with the lack of movement. He cursed under his breath, moving your arms around his neck. You were confused, but still complied.

He wasted no time hooking his hands under your thighs and lifting you up with ease. You slid up and down on his cock as he moved, trying to suppress your mewls. He wrapped your other leg around his waist and moved so your back was pressed against the wall.

"Such a good girl, baby. Thinking about me while you touch yourself. That's exactly how it should be. Only me that you think about," Jungkook grunted, beginning to thrust into you.

Your cheeks flushed at his words. He had heard you call out his name when you touched yourself. He chuckled at your expression.

"Don't be embarrassed, baby, it just means I got my message across yesterday," he panted.

You tightened your grip around his neck, pulling your body flush with his. Jungkook took that opportunity to step away from the wall and bend his legs slightly, reducing the weight on your arms and legs.

Grabbing your waist, he slid you up and down on his cock, the lewd sound of smacking reverberating throughout the room. You let out cries of pleasure at how deep he was hitting inside of you, brushing against your sweet spot with every thrust.

"Such a-" he grunted as he pulled you back onto him, "good fucking girl."

"Fuck, Kook. I'm close," you whimpered, your second orgasm pooling in your stomach. "Please make me come. Wanna come on your cock."

Jungkook's thrusts - somehow - become rougher, pounding into you with such strength that you milk his length within a few thrusts. Your nails dug into his back as you came, making him hiss. Jungkook's hands wrapped under your thighs again, and he gently pulled out, whining at the emptiness.

"I'm not done with you yet, baby," he grinned. "Think you can handle more?"

"God, yes, please."

Jungkook manoeuvred you, pressing you up against the glass, your breasts flattening. He gently moved your legs apart and pushed himself back into you. You whined, slightly sensitive from your previous orgasms.

"You've had your fun. Now I'm going to fuck you until I come. And I don't care how many time you come on my cock for me to do that," Jungkook spoke, voice low.

"Yes, please, use me as you please."

Jungkook thrusted into you, his speed and rhythm having you come undone almost immediately, the sensitivity from before returning. Your hands were flat against the glass, the condensation of the shower disappearing under your touch.

"Feel, so fucking good. Like your pussy was made for me," Jungkook growled, not showing any sign of slowing his thrusts.

"Only yours, Koo," you cried out, feeling another orgasm wash over you.

It wasn't until your fifth orgasm that Jungkook began to lose his pace, the constant feeling of your walls tightening around him bringing him close.

"Come with me, baby," Jungkook panted, his hand moving between your legs to gently pinch and rub your sensitive clit.

Your hips bucked at the sensitivity, and you pushed back into him suddenly. You screamed his name as you came one final time, body shaking violently at the pleasure and overstimulation. With one final thrust, Jungkook came, grabbing your hips to keep you still.

He leaned over your back, pulling out of you entirely. You whimpered, and your legs gave out from underneath you. Jungkook quickly caught you, wrapping his arms around your waist protectively as you both sank onto the floor.

"I've got you," he soothed. "I've got you."

You panted, feeling yourself throb between your legs. Your legs were closed tight, and Jungkook watched, growing slightly worried as your body continued to tremble.

"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked, voice laced with concern.

You chuckled weakly.

"No, baby. You didn't," you exhaled. "Just really-" you twitched, "really sensitive."

Jungkook smiled at your words, rocking you back and forward slightly, which surprisingly put you at ease.

"Take as long as you need, baby. And when you're ready, we can shower properly."

"At this rate, with how long we've been here, we won't have any hot water left," you joked, making Jungkook laugh.

Thursday.

One thing you had discovered about Jungkook was that he was loaded. You were astonished to learn that he had his own home gym. There was no doubt that he worked out. You could hardly stop yourself from staring at how he filled out his t-shirts, or how his veins were visible when lifting something heavy.

You only found out about his home gym when Jungkook, in gym attire, made his way in the opposite direction of the front door.

"Is the front door not that way?" you asked, pointing behind you.

"Yes?" Jungkook replied, confused. "Why are you asking?"

"Didn't you say you were going to the gym?"

"I did, and I am. I have a home gym."

You were shocked initially. He led you down the hallway to the door at the end and opened it. You were surprised at how spacious it was, with mirrors and gym equipment neatly arranged, looking like a public gym.

"Fucking hell, are you secretly a billionaire or something?" you asked in disbelief.

"My dad's a CEO," he explained. "If you ever want to use the equipment, you can."

"I wouldn't know where to begin," you replied, sheepishly.

Jungkook held his hand out to you, which you gladly took, and pulled you further into the room. You reached the other end of the room where the weight racks stood. Next to them was a pull-up bar, which Jungkook stood under.

"Come here," he instructed.

He placed his hands around your waist and gently pulled you in front of him, back against his chest. He let out a little giggle as he stepped back a little bit, bringing you with him so you were directly underneath the bar.

"I'm gonna lift you, okay, baby? And I want you to grab hold of the bar," Jungkook explained.

He bent down slight, wrapping his arms around your thighs, face pressed against you ass. You blushed at his position and the fact that he expected you to suddenly be able to do a pull-up.

"Kookie, I don't know if I can even do a pull-up," you mumbled shyly.

Jungkook's heart melted at the nickname, and how cute you were when you were shy. He gave you a reassuring squeeze before lifting you up. You quickly grabbed the bar, allowing him to let you go.

"Jesus," you cursed, feeling gravity wanting to pull you down to the ground.

Jungkook moved in front of you and wrapped his hands around your ankles. You stared at him, struggling to maintain your grip on the bar.

"It's alright, baby, I've got you," he smiled. "I'll be right here to help. And if you need to let go, just say."

Jungkook assisted you in doing five pull-ups. Assisting as in he held most of your weight as you pulled yourself up. You giggled at how easy it was, knowing Jungkook was doing all the work. He let you go, and you dropped back down onto the floor.

"See, you're a natural," he teased.

You laughed, placing your hand on his arm. Jungkook's face flushed as you leaned against him, heart racing at your closeness.

"Do you want to help me work out now? Since I was so nice in helping you?" Jungkook suggested with a grin.

"Sure!" you beamed, excited to see his routine.

It was the worst decision you had ever made. Not because Jungkook made you do anything complicated. But because you couldn't stop staring.

Jungkook had discarded his shirt the moment his workout session started. He would constantly ask you for resistance bands or lighter weights. You would hum in response, staying exactly where you were, just... staring. Jungkook chuckled.

"Baby."

"Yeah?" you asked, thoughtlessly.

He exhaled, stood up, and walked over to you. You swallowed thickly, staring at his chest directly in front of you. Sweat glistened against his skin, slowly running down the grooves of his muscles. Your breathing picked up, your underwear beginning to dampen as inappropriate thoughts clouded your mind. Jungkook forced you to look up at him by placing his forefinger under your chin and tilting your head upwards.

"If you want me, you need only ask," he teased, mischief dancing in his eyes.

You flushed at his words, averting your gaze, though it was hard when every wall in the room was covered in mirrors. It was Jungkook, shirtless, in all his glory, everywhere you looked.

"Get down on one of the mats in front of the mirrors," Jungkook demanded, voice low.

You shuddered at his voice, but obeyed, shuffling over to one of the mats and sitting cross-legged facing the mirror. Jungkook watched you, biting his lip at how your hips swayed in your joggers. He quickly followed after you, kneeling down behind you.

Jungkook's gaze was intense as he watched you in the mirror. He lowered himself to your neck, still watching and attached his lips to your skin. He smirked as he kissed your neck, your head falling back onto his shoulder.

"Kook," you moaned, moving your hand to tangle in his hair.

"Gonna fuck you in front of the mirror, show you how fucking beautiful you are getting wrecked by me."

Your stomach flipped at his words, his dirty talk turning you on more than you already were. His kisses continued, slowly travelling down to your shoulder. You jolted when he found your sweet spot, your grip in his hair tightening.

Jungkook took the opportunity to suck and bite at your sensitive spot, only pulling away when he was satisfied with his work. You raised your head, looking at your reflection in the mirror. Jungkook stared at you, eyes dark and waiting for your reaction.

You gently touched the now bruised skin on your shoulder, tracing the outline. Jungkook's hand snaked up your arm, interlocking his fingers with yours. Planting a quick kiss against your jaw, he gently pushed you forward, your ass now pressed up against his crotch.

You involuntarily moaned when you could feel his bulge poking against you, excitement building up in your core. Subconsciously, you arched your back, pushing further into him. The action had him groan, holding your hips steady as he slowly grinded into you.

"Patience, baby," he chuckled, kneading your hips gently.

You whined, burying your face into the mat in frustration. Jungkook leaned forward slightly, tracing his fingers along your stomach teasingly.

"Kook, please don't tease," you whispered. "Want you so bad."

Jungkook's hand travelled further down, moving underneath your cargo trousers and underwear. His middle finger slid between your folds, gathering some of your slick.

"So wet for me, and I've barely touched you," Jungkook teased.

He moved back up to your clit, grazing it lightly, making you jolt at his touch. He laughed through his nose at your sensitivity, gently stimulating your bundle of nerves.

"So good for me," he breathed, kneading the flesh of your butt in his other hand.

He gently smacked your ass, the added action having lewd nosies fall from your lips. His pace slowly increased, but was still gentle, watching you in the mirror as you cried, fingers trying to grab the mat for support.

"You gonna come for me, baby?" he encouraged "Gonna be a good girl and come on my fingers?"

"Yes, Koo, wanna come for you," you moaned, feeling your high approaching.

"Come for me."

As if on command, you reached your orgasm, jolting away from him when the sensitivity became too much. Body twitching, you fell forward, lying flat on your stomach. The knot you felt slowly dispersed as your body began to relax.

Jungkook didn't wait for you, moving to pull down your trousers and underwear, revealing your glistening heat. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you flush against him. He had discarded his trousers and boxers as you were attempting to recover, his cock sliding between your wet folds.

The feeling of his tip brushing against your clit had your whining at the sensitivity. Jungkook grinned, moving forward slightly, watching your reflection in the mirror.

He ran his hand underneath your baggy top, massaging your breasts over your bra, another added sensation making you moan. You had began to move along his cock, without realising, the sudden movement making Jungkook grunt and gently bite down on your shoulder.

He moved his free hand to his cock, guiding his tip to your entrance and slowly pushed in. It was a feeling you wished you could experience every second of the day. The stretching of your walls had your eyes rolling to the back of your head in ecstasy.

"Look at yourself, baby. See how beautiful you look coming undone because of me," Jungkook whispered, nipping at your earlobe.

He gently moved your face to look at yourself in the mirror. Your cheeks flushed at your reflections, watching as his cock slid in and out of you with ease. The way your chest rose and fell with his movements, how the hand massaging your breast had moved past your bra and was now teasing your nipple.

"Kook," you whined in bliss.

Your eyes fell on him, and his gaze was dark, staring at you with lust-filled eyes. Your breath hitched, the combination of his gaze and how good he was making you feel forced you to look away, suddenly shy at how exposed you felt.

"No," Jungkook breathed. "Look at yourself."

Obeying his command, you looked back, watching Jungkook thrust into you. You felt so dirty watching, but you couldn't take your eyes off the way he thrusted into you. Jungkook smirked, noticing where your gaze was.

"You like watching me fuck you, baby?" he panted. "Well, how about I give you a better angle?"

In a moment, you were in a new position. Jungkook lay on the floor, you sitting above him, still facing the mirror. Your cheeks burned at how exposed you suddenly felt.

Jungkook bent his knees slightly, instructing you to place your feet on his thighs. He wasted no time sliding back into you, fucking you with ease. The new position had him going deeper with every thrust, his hands on your waist to keep you steady while yours were flat on the floor.

"Better baby?" Jungkook asked. "Get to see me fucking you properly, like the good girl you are."

You mewled, the sight before you having that familiar feeling bubbling inside you. Your walls clenched around him, slightly, and Jungkook knew you were close. With his orgasm closing in as well, he pushed into you with more force, the feeling almost winding you.

"Come with me, baby. I know you're close," Jungkook encouraged as he reached his limit.

He continued to thrust, ignoring the oversensitivity he was feeling, to help you reach your high. You cried out his name as your orgasm washed over you, and he immediately stopped, too sensitive to continue thrusting.

You sat down on him entirely, his cock sliding back into you, making you both hiss at how delicate you both felt. Leaning forward, you panted, body slightly spasming from the bliss you were in.

"You okay, baby?" he asked soothingly, rubbing his hand up and down your side comfortingly.

"Yes, Kook," you replied. "I just didn't think, watching us fucking in a mirror would be so... hot."

Jungkook chuckled, grabbing a discarded towel and holding it underneath you. You pulled off of him, the towel catching most of your mixed orgasms. Jungkook loved to watch his come drip out of you. It was as if he had claimed you entirely. You, and you alone, were his. No one else could have you.

"I think we need a shower," you said softly, holding the towel between your legs. I don't want to ruin your mats."

Jungkook stood up, scooping you in his arms and walked out of the gym. He brought you into the bathroom, sat you on the toilet seat, and then turned the shower on.

"Well, my workout didn't go exactly as planned," he confessed. "But I do love a bit of cardio."

You both laughed, gently taking hold of his hand, waiting for the shower to heat up.

Friday.

You hadn't even left the bedroom when Jungkook started following you, wanting to be between your legs. You informed him that Jimin had texted you about a party happening the following day at Namjoon's. Needless to say, Jungkook didn't like Jimin's name in your mouth.

"You always sound so beautiful," he hummed, the vibration of his voice sending thrills through you.

You were sitting on the stairs, originally on your way to brush your teeth, when Jungkook had suddenly spun you around and forced you to sit.

Your protests were cut short when he was already nestled between your legs, shoving your underwear to the side and diving in like he hadn't drunk anything for weeks.

"Kook."

"Yes, baby?" he asked, he asked between kisses.

His lips wrapped around your clit, letting his tongue brush over it. You sighed, body melting into his touch. You felt him smirk against your skin. He flattened his tongue against you, his touch making you shiver.

He continued to lick and suck, sometimes pushing his tongue past your folds, your back arching in pleasure. Jungkook pulled away suddenly, making you pout at the loss of contact.

"Koo~" you whined.

"Can't you mess up the floorboards, can we?" Jungkook teased.

You scoffed, feigning offence. His smile faltered as you stood and walked up the stairs. It returned quickly, however, when you looked over your shoulder, eyeing him seductively.

"You coming or not?"

Jungkook ran up the stairs, two steps at a time and scooped you into his arms when you were both at the top. Both of you laughed as he spun you around. He stopped briefly, still holding you in his arms as you laughed.

He couldn't help but stare at you, smiling softly. Your slightly tousled hair from being spun around, and you leaning into him, had his heart fluttering.

"Are you okay?" you asked quietly when you noticed his dazed expression.

"Huh? Oh yes," Jungkook responded, quickly putting you down.

You stumbled slightly when your feet touched the floor, quickly grabbing Jungkook's forearm for stability. He instinctively wrapped his arm around your waist.

You pulled away from you, grabbing the hem of his t-shirt, beckoning him with your other hand. Desire clouded Jungkook's eyes, a grin sliding onto his face. He caught up to you quickly, tugging your hand off his t-shirt and facing you away from him.

Jungkook guided you forward until you were pressed against the glass window at the end of the hallway. His hands roamed your body, grabbing and groping whatever he could.

"Since I couldn't finish what I started on the stairs. Let me do that here," he offered, voice thick with lust.

You nodded, pushing your ass against his crotch making him groan. He moved quickly, pulling your underwear down to your mid-thigh. Removing himself of his clothes he let his cock sit against your ass, grinding against you slightly.

"Kook," you moaned, growing impatient.

Jungkook only chuckled, teasing your soaked entrance with the tip of his cock. He gently pushed in, but pulled out when he was only halfway in. You huffed, jerking back so when he next pushed in, he was all the way inside you.

"F-uck, Y/n!" Jungkook gasped.

"If you're not going to do it I will," you fired back, cocky grin evident.

You moved at a steady pace, the feeling of you moving instead of him had Jungkook in a state of euphoria. He gripped your waist tightly, but didn't take over. He just threw his head back at the pleasure you were giving him.

"Am I taking you well, baby?" you asked teasingly, slightly mocking him for all the times he praised you.

"Jesus, yeah. Taking me so fucking well," Jungkook replied.

He looked down, watching as your ass bounced up and down on him, the recoil alone having him moan in pleasure. He couldn't help but watch as you moved, moans falling from your lips as you rode him.

"You-" he panted, "you keep this up, I'll come."

You abruptly stopped, making him pout. You slowly pulled him out of you and turned to look at him. Your eyes were innocent, but your smirk said otherwise.

"Then I guess we'll have to leave this for later?" you taunted.

You ran your hands slowly up his chest and around the nape of his neck, the feeling making him shiver in delight. Pulling him down, you interlocked your lips into a passionate and heated kiss. Your tongue traced along his bottom lip, and you nibbled at it gently, making him moan. You pulled away, smiling at him sweetly.

"Now I really need to brush my teeth," you finished, walking away.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Jungkook had tried to have his way with you multiple times that day, but you'd stop him every time he began to get a bit too handsy. It didn't help that you had decided to wear a black lace lingerie body suit around the house. And black was a colour he most particularly enjoyed seeing on you.

Jungkook sat at the dining table in the early evening, scrolling thoughtlessly through his phone. You had walked into the room, then entered the kitchen. Jungkook had to do a double-take when he saw you.

You still wore the same bodysuit you had all day, except this time, the crotch was missing from the one piece, leaving your heat on full display for him to see. Another thing that didn't help was that you were now wearing thigh-high boots, perfectly squishing your thighs.

"You want something for dinner?" you asked nonchalantly.

Jungkook didn't answer, instead watching as you bent over, looking in one of the cabinets for a wok. His tongue darted across his lower lip, fighting the urge to take you right there.

"Kook?"

A reply didn't come. Instead, Jungkook's arms snaked around your waist and pulled you away from the kitchen counter. He wasted no time sitting you up on the dining table, mildly surprising you.

"I only want you. Only need you," Jungkook breathed, his words profoundly affecting you.

Jungkook spread your legs, and dove in, flattening his tongue against your clit. Mewls escaped you as he lapped at your juices, not seeming to get enough of you.

He had barely started before he was pulled away, pulling you off the table. In no time, you were bent over, legs spread wide apart, and he had pushed into you.

"Fuck- Jungkook," you cried out.

"You think it's funny, teasing me like this? Huh?" Jungkook growled, thrusting into you with such power that it left you breathless. "Looking so fucking hot, I can barely control myself."

His hands tightened around your waist, tighter than usual, and it was almost uncomfortable. You moaned with every thrust, each time he reentered you, it was deeper, harder, faster.

"Come on, baby. You were so mouthy earlier, where's all that confidence gone?" he taunted.

You frowned at his words, knowing he was challenging you. Placing both hands on the table, you pushed yourself up slightly and moved back into him when he pushed forward into you. He grunted, clearly feeling that you were working against him.

"I don't need to be mouthy to be confident," you snapped back.

His movements slowly ceased as yours increased. The feeling of you moving on him was pure bliss, something that Jungkook didn't know could feel as good as this. He gently slapped your ass a few times, the sound echoing quietly in the room.

"Come for me, baby," you instructed. "You wanted to come in me so badly earlier, go on."

As if on command, Jungkook orgasmed, grabbing your hips to slow your movements as he did. He leaned forward, his chest pressed against your back. Slowly pulling out of you, Jungkook straightened and went to the kitchen to grab you a tea towel.

"Did you come too?" he asked.

"Not this time," you responded casually.

You noticed Jungkook pout, moving over and hugging you from behind.

"I guess I'll need to fix that."

"Kook, you just fucked me," you laughed.

"Yeah, but I can't have you not feeling good," he said, tracing his hand over your upper arm. "Besides, you always seem to enjoy my tongue."

You rolled your eyes, but smiled at his words.

"No."

You turned, walking away into the bathroom to go clean up.

"Oh, come on, please!" Jungkook whined as he followed behind you.

Saturday.

"Are you almost done?! I really need to pee," Jungkook pleaded, banging on the bathroom door.

"Almost!" you called back.

Jungkook had decided that trying to have sex at every given opportunity this morning was a good idea. Now you were rushing your make-up and were already an hour late for the party. Finishing up the last little bits of your eyeliner, you spun around and unlocked the door.

"Oh my god, move!" Jungkook squeaked, already unzipping his jeans before he was even at the toilet.

"Calm down, Kook," you laughed, exiting the bathroom.

You wandered into the bedroom, admiring your appearance in the full-length mirror. You weren't overdressed, wearing a simple black dress that dropped at the mid-thigh. It hugged your figure, accentuating all your curves perfectly.

Jungkook had stepped into the room while you were putting on your heels. His eyes wandered over your body in admiration. How the dress looked on you was breathtaking. Heat began to rise in his cheeks, turning red at the inappropriate thoughts that now clouded his mind.

"You going to survive in heels all night, baby?" he asked, trying to push the images of you underneath him aside.

You jumped slightly at his voice, not having heard him enter the bedroom. You spun around, looking him in the eyes innocently.

"Probably not," you mumbled in response. "But heels are the only thing that looks good with this dress."

Jungkook chuckled and moved over to you. He knelt on the floor, taking your hand and planting soft kisses against your knuckles. The action made you blush.

"You look beautiful in anything," he complimented. "I'll pack your trainers, okay? And if your heels hurt too much, you can swap."

"Okay," you replied shyly.

"I'll also pack you a change of clothes, in case you get cold, okay? I have a feeling people will be staying over anyway, and we'll probably be amongst those people."

You nodded, and Jungkook smiled, gently slapping your thigh and standing up. You sat, slightly embarrassed at his gentle touch. It was different from usual, almost as if you were a couple.

You quickly shook the thought from your head, finding the idea of Jungkook, the well-known playboy from college, and you being in a relationship. You had to stifle your laugh to stop yourself from looking like a mad person just suddenly laughing.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

You arrived with Jungkook at the party a few hours after it had started, and surprisingly, the place wasn't wrecked. Upon entering, you immediately tripped over someone's foot, barely catching yourself.

"Here, follow me," Jungkook whispered in your ear.

He slid his hand into yours, something that Jungkook was one hundred per cent against when it came to having a situationship with someone. No public affection. The action took you by surprise, but you followed behind slowly.

Jungkook could feel when you were falling behind, stopping every now and then to wait for you to catch up. You greeted people as you walked past, finally entering the kitchen where you and Jungkook's friends sat.

"Guys! You finally made it!" Taehyung stood up from his chair to hug his friend.

Jungkook's hand slipped from yours, something that left you feeling empty. You wanted nothing more than to reach out and grab his shirt for comfort. But you refrained.

"Too much fucking I'd say," Yoongi teased, eyeing you knowingly.

You flushed at his words, stuttering, trying to explain yourself. Jungkook stood, watching you grow more embarrassed as you stammered.

"Cards, anyone?" Jungkook suggested, pulling the attention away from you.

The boys nodded eagerly, waiting for the two of you to sit. Noticing you weren't moving, Jungkook slid his hand back into yours, that warm feeling returning, and guided you to sit beside him.

Jimin watched, grinning at your flushed expression. He glanced at Jungkook, and Jungkook was already looking back at him, a glare evident. Jimin tilted his head tauntingly, eyebrows raised.

You winced as Jungkook's grip tightened subconsciously. Your sudden noise worried the boy, who looked at your hands and noticed his hand wrapping tightly around yours.

"Fuck, sorry baby," he mumbled, kissing your hand gently.

The action had everyone at the table staring, Hoseok absentmindedly shuffling the cards as he watched. Your heart raced, giving Jungkook's hand a reassuring squeeze as if to say it was okay.

Jungkook's heart ached when you winced. He didn't mean to hurt you, but his friend was testing his patience. Jungkook didn't let go of your hand, holding it and lovingly tracing his thumb across your skin.

"You dealing or what?" Jungkook asked, looking amongst his friends.

"I-uh, yeah," Hoseok stuttered, quickly dealing out the cards.

"I'll just watch," you claimed, pushing the card back to Hoseok.

He shrugged, putting the card at the bottom of the deck and moving on to Jungkook.

"You scared you'll lose again?" he teased, leaning in closer to you.

You only hummed in response, slightly nudging him and smiling. He chuckled, and you both looked at his cards eagerly.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

As the night passed, the group slowly got more drunk, and you were practically hanging off Jungkook's arm, still not letting go of each other's hands. You were giggling, clearly tipsy, and whispering in Jungkook's ear as he continued to play.

"Whoa, there," Jungkook spoke, discarding his cards and catching you as you slid off the stool.

"I wanna dance," you slurred, tugging his hand.

Before Jungkook could even answer, a voice sounded from behind him.

"I'll dance with you."

You beamed, sliding your hand out of Jungkook's and into Jimin's. You guided him onto the dance floor, leaving Jungkook, who had clenched his fists.

"So I assume you and Kook are together now?" Jimin asked, taking your hands in his, as you danced.

"Oh, no," you replied casually, taking Jimin by surprise. "I don't think he'll ever see me as something more than a fuck buddy now."

"Please tell me you're joking, Y/n. Look at Jungkook right now. He wants to tear off my fucking head cos we're dancing."

Looking over Jimin's shoulder, you could see Jungkook's dark gaze, eyes filled with hatred. You gulped, only realising how jealous he had become of you and Jimin.

"Then maybe we should stop," you suggested.

"Believe it or not, I agree. Jungkook has become rather... protective of you. The only reason he hasn't killed me yet is because I'm his best friend."

You laughed, slapping him slightly on the chest. Jimin chuckled, stepping away from you, and pulling out the wackiest, most embarrassing dance moves he could. You howled in laughter, the sound reaching Jungkook's ears.

His eyes softened, watching as you bent over, your hands on your thighs, trying to stop your laughter. He realised just how close you and Jimin were as friends there, and it put him at ease. Jungkook had grown worried that Jimin had also developed feelings for you, and the dreaded feeling of him having to choose between you and his best friend made his heart ache.

You continued to laugh, tears welling at how funny you found the situation. Suddenly, you jerked forward, shock plastered over your face. Jimin had stopped, too, now glaring at someone behind you. Quickly, you straightened and turned to see a man behind you grinning. He had smacked you ass.

"Don't fucking touch me," you snarled.

"Maybe don't dress like you're asking for it," the man laughed.

You didn't waste a moment to raise your hand and slap him across the cheek. The whole room went silent at the loud slap.

"You fucking bitch!" the man yelled, making a move to grab you.

It happened so fast. Jimin had pulled you behind him, shielding you from the man. But what shocked you the most was that Jungkook had sprinted towards the man and had thrown himself at him, handing a powerful punch straight to his jaw.

The man stumbled back, holding his jaw as he cried out in pain. Jungkook didn't wait, landing another punch to the man's gut. He toppled over, allowing Jungkook to climb on top of him and land blow after blow.

You panicked, pushing Jimin aside and making a grab for Jungkook. He shrugged you off, continuing his brutal assault on the man.

"Jungkook!" you screamed.

Finally, he stopped, looking back at you with anger-filled eyes. Though they second, they fell on you, they softened. He stood, shaking, then left without uttering a word.

"I'll call an ambulance, go get Kook," Jimin instructed.

You didn't hesitate, running as fast as you could in your heels, after Jungkook. You ran out the door, looking everywhere to see where he might be.

"Jungkook!" you called, taking a few more steps to get a better look.

You had noticed him walking ahead of you, towards a park bench. You continued to call out to him, attempting to run across the road. On the third call of his name, Jungkook sighed, turning around to look at you.

"What?" he asked bluntly, his tone taking you aback.

"Kook," you breathed. "Are you alright?"

You glanced down at his hand, noticed his knuckles were bloody and beginning to bruise. He pulled away when you went to hold his hand, making you flinch.

"Just fuck off, Y/n."

"Excuse me?" you asked, tone dropping. "Don't talk to me like that."

Jungkook ignored you, turning around to leave when you stopped him. You moved to step in front of him, and he glared at you.

"Move."

"No," you challenged. "Why are you so fucking angry!"

"It doesn't concern you," Jungkook spat.

"I think it does, considering you just beat someone up!"

"He touched your ass! What the fuck was I supposed to do!" he yelled, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration.

"Maybe not beat someone half to death!" you yelled back.

"Right, next time I'll just sit by and watch it happen," he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"You know that's not what I mean! You've been angry since Jimin and I went to the dance floor! Why?"

You already knew why. Jimin showing you just how jealous Jungkook was, confirmed wishes.

"I've told you it doesn't concern you," Jungkook snapped, tone laced with venom.

You had went off on a tangent, yelling and poking his chest as you continued to dig into him. His patience was growing thin, his emotions were getting the better of him, and he was struggling to hold back.

"Shut up," he whispered, but it was not loud enough to hear over your scolding.

He repeated it until the last of his patience disappeared.

"Shut up!"

You fell silent, shocked by his sudden outburst. Your chests were heaving in anger as you stared at one another, waiting for the other to back down.

"You don't understand," you mumbled to Jungkook.

Your soft tone caught him off guard, and his breathing eased with your words.

"Do you know how hard watching you flirt with all those girls was? Kissing them at parties, fucking hell even fingering them in front of everyone. It made my blood boil," you sighed, averting your gaze.

Jungkook remained silent, waiting for you to continue.

"I wanted nothing more than to be one of those girls. To kiss you, touch you, feel you. When we made the bet last weekend, I had hoped to lose, just to know what it felt like."

"I-"

"But I see now that it was clearly a mistake. Because throughout this week, I've completely fallen in love with you. It was always in the back of my mind, but being with you brought it to light," you replied, sobs escaping your lips.

Jungkook stood, watching you tremble as your emotions spilt out of you. He was in shock, not realising that you had been hiding this for as long as he had. Jungkook gently caressed your cheek, the feeling making you flinch. You looked up at him, eyes glassy.

"It was never a mistake," he breathed.

He leaned in, planting a gentle kiss upon your lips. You melted into him, your hands snaking around the back of his neck as you pulled him deeper into you. Jungkook pulled away quickly, leaving you feeling empty.

"I love you, Y/n. Since we first met, I've been so unbelievably in love with you that I only wanted your attention. I made that bet, hoping you would lose, so I could show you just how amazing you are, how beautiful and perfect you are to me."

"Kook," you sighed.

You pulled him back down, kissing him. It was soft, gentle, but soon became rough. Jungkook's hands snaked around your waist and pulled you in as close as possible. You moaned against his lips, giving him enough time to slide his tongue into your mouth.

Passion burned between you both as you began to grab at one another, wanting to undress the other. You pulled away suddenly, panting.

"Maybe we should find somewhere a little less... open," you suggested.

Jungkook looked around, trying to find somewhere to take you. Gently, he tugged you behind him, pulling you in front of a wall, hidden by bushes and trees.

"Better?" he asked.

You nodded. With the confirmation, Jungkook dropped to his knees, pushing your dress over your hips. He groaned as he placed his hands over your smooth skin, tracing small circles as they glided up to your underwear.

"Please, Kook. Want you so bad," you breathed. "No teasing this time. Please."

"Anything for you, baby," Jungkook replied.

Just as Jungkook went to pull down his trousers, a sound could be heard in the distance, making you both freeze.

"Y/n! Jungkook! Where are you guys? Everyone's gone home now, so you can stay the night if you want," Hoseok's voice rang.

"For fuck sake, we can't catch a break," Jungkook chuckled, making you giggle.

"We can continue this tomorrow, Kook. We probably need the sleep anyway," you explained, tugging your dress back down. "And besides, I could use a day off from being fucked raw for the past five days."

Jungkook pouted, but followed behind, fingers interlaced with yours.

Sunday.

You both had left early the next day, thanking Namjoon, Hoseok and Yoongi for letting you stay.

"Whoa, hold up there," Namjoon called.

You both turned around, looking at your friends. The entire group had stayed the night and were now watching you both intently.

"Is there something you want to tell us?" Taehyung asked, tapping his foot impatiently.

"We didn't have sex in the bed if that's what you guys are worried about," you spoke, waving them off casually.

"That's not what we're on about," Seokjin replied. "And it's not about Jungkook beating up that guy last night either, or his very obvious jealousy of you and Jimin's friendship."

Both you and Jungkook turned red at Seokjin's words. The group laughed.

"Please just tell us you're finally together," Jimin pleaded, resting against the countertop.

"Well, what do you think?" Jungkook grinned as he held up your interlocked hands.

The group cheered, jumping up and down excitedly and hugging one another.

"About fucking time," Yoongi laughed. "God, we were beginning to think you'd both be dead before you got together."

"Yeah watching you both get jealous was really beginning to piss me off," Namjoon spoke, grinning.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. We're together now, that's all that matters," Jungkook laughed.

"We are?" you asked.

The group and Jungkook looked at you in shock, but you smiled, indicating you were joking. Jungkook scowled at you playfully, lifted you over his shoulder, and walked out the door.

"Hey!" you called, laughing. "Bye guys! See you next time!"

You watched your friends waving goodbye, some punching the air in victory, while others fist-bumped and hugged.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

As soon as you both entered Jungkook's apartment, you slumped onto the couch in the living room, sighing in relief at being home. You looked to your right, staring lovingly at Jungkook. His eyes were closed, and his hair fell slightly over his eyebrows.

His chest rose and fell slowly, tiredness falling over him. You hummed, moving over and snuggling into his side. Feeling you move, he automatically wrapped his arm around you.

"Hi, baby," he whispered.

"Hi, Kook," you replied, relishing the moment.

You lightly traced his hand with your fingers. Jungkook lightly hummed a tune under his breath, enjoying your gentle touch.

"You know," you began, your fingers moving from his hand onto his chest. "We still need to make up for last night."

Jungkook's eyes pinged open, and you looked at you knowingly. You laughed, lightly pushing him when he wiggled his eyebrows at you.

"Well, what do you have in mind?" he asked.

You didn't say anything; instead, you decided to show him. Throwing your leg over him, you straddled his waist and slowly began to grind against him. He let out a breathy moan, and his head fell back. You tugged at his t-shirt gently, indicating you wanted it off.

Jungkook complied, quickly removing his top and discarding it on the floor. He fiddled with the buttons on your shirt, letting out a huff when he couldn't unbutton them. You laughed, taking his hands and removing them from your shirt.

You quickly pulled your shirt over your head, revealing your bare chest, making Jungkook smirk. His hands moved to your breasts, and you flinched at his cold touch but immediately melted into him when he lightly flicked your nipple.

"Kook," you breathed, arching your back and moving closer to him.

"What do you want, baby?" Jungkook asked teasingly.

"You, please. Want you, all of you," you begged.

Jungkook smiled, leaning in and attaching his lips to your bud. A gasp fell from your lips at the sudden temperature change. His warm tongue enveloped your nipple, changing the amount of pressure he applied.

His other hand was occupied with your other breast, pinching and brushing over your nipple, adding a new sensation with each movement.

"God, you are so beautiful. My perfect girl," he spoke between kisses, pulling you closer to him, as if you'd suddenly disappear.

"Only yours, Kookie," you sighed out.

Jungkook pulled away, sliding his hand to your cheek and pulling you into a soft, delicate kiss. You kissed him back, both of you smiling when you accidentally bumped noses.

You moved, standing up and pulling your trousers and underwear off. Jungkook eyed you hungrily, staring at your legs and their smooth appearance. He had realised your fingers were wrapped around the belt loops of his jeans, gently tugging, asking him to lift his backside off the couch.

"Sorry," Jungkook laughed, lifting himself off the couch. "You're just so... breathtaking."

You giggled, pulling off his jeans and boxers. His cock sat against his stomach, tall and erect. Pre-cum leaked from the tip, and the veins pulsed.

You climbed back on top of him, and angled his cock to your entrance. You looked at him, waiting for some sort of permission to continue. He nodded, slowly guiding your hips down onto him.

You would never get sick of the feeling of him pushing into you. He slid into you with such ease, it was as if he truly was made for you. Both of you softly moaned when Jungkook was all the way in, savouring the moment. You looked at him, a smile evident.

"I love you," you whispered.

Jungkook looked at you with wide eyes, not expecting those words from you at such an intimate time. Your smile faltered at his expression, and you grew shy.

"I'm sorry- I just-"

Your words were cut short when Jungkook pulled you close, planting kisses all over your face. The action made you giggle.

"Don't ever apologise for saying that, baby," Jungkook spoke between kisses. "I love you, too."

Slowly, you began to move, in circular motions that had him hitting against your sweet spot immediately. You moaned his name, keeping a steady rhythm. Jungkook's hands stayed on your hips, guiding you when you flinched from sensitivity.

"You want me to move, baby?" Jungkook asked when he felt your legs begin to shake.

"N-no," you replied. "Wanna make you feel good."

"Baby," Jungkook whispered, halting your movements. "I can't feel good if you're feeling discomfort. Let me, please."

Slowly, you nodded, slightly embarrassed. Jungkook kissed you softly and sat forward slightly. He manoeuvred your legs so they wrapped around his waist, continuing to plant small kisses against your lips, then moving to your jaw.

"Kook," you breathed, letting your head fall back as he kissed your neck.

Jungkook slowly began to thrust into you, the feeling of him pushing into you, having you both moan in unison. His rhythm stayed the same, not wanting the romantic moment to be ruined by lust.

"I love you so fucking much," you said in between breaths, your breasts bouncing lightly as Jungkook moved.

"I love you too, baby," Jungkook responded, kneading the flesh of your hips.

You hummed, feeling your high approach with each thrust. Jungkook could feel you were beginning to tighten around him, and he took the opportunity to lock his lips onto yours.

"Come with me," he begged between the kiss, struggling to keep pace.

Now moving along with him to keep the rhythm, you both came together, feeling Jungkook's seed spill into you while you milked him. You gently rocked your hips, helping you both ride out your highs. You only stopped when Jungkook gripped your waist, growing sensitive at the movements.

"That might have been the best sex we've had," Jungkook laughed breathily.

"Maybe because you weren't trying to fuck me into the counter or bed," you joked.

"Hey!" Jungkook protested, but smiled. "You love it when I do that."

"Yeah, you're right. I do," you giggled, resting your forehead against his.

There was silence, pure and peaceful, as if nothing in the world could ruin it.

"So, same time next week?"

"Oh for fuck sake Kook."

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

finally! it is done! thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I am so sorry for taking so long to upload anything! I've been focused af to get this done and posted so I hope you enjoyed!

if you enjoyed it please take a look at my other works or if you're interested in requesting an idea/or have a prompt click the links below!

masterlist | requests | request rules | prompt list

tranquilreign~

[strawberrysznn]

How to find the best version of yourself that you'll fall in love with

As someone who has gone through SO many versions of herself and is now slowly growing to be a person she's genuinely happy and in love with

Trust me when I say I've had a lot of identities these past few years. It took me a lot of time to really find the best version of myself, the version that I'm genuinely happy with, the version that my 10 year old self would have looked up to. However, it's different for everyone. The definition of an "it girl" to me might be different from your definition, and the personality and life that truly feels me might not suit you. So, please take note that this is highly subjective and it's all about you and what works for you.

The one and only thing I did to rebrand myself: I created a character.

I gave my character a new name. You can give yours your current one or a nickname. I gave mine my second name. I built this character, I envisioned her, I turned her into a realistic person that I knew I'd look up to.

Basically, create an alter ego. And it wasn't easy to curate this character for me, it took a lot of time for me to build her into someone that I'd want to be, someone that still has flaws but embodies the energy and lifestyle I want.

Know what you want. How does this new you act? What do they like and dislike? What matters to them? How do they impact the people around them? What are they like? How would you describe them? What are their flaws and how do they deal with it? What are the bad habits they got rid of?

Make sure this version you want feels like you. This isn't about turning into another person, it's about growing as a person. It's about looking in the mirror and loving what you see with no doubt and no regrets. It's about knowing what you want and taking it right away, and it's about taking control of your own life and shaping it into one that you will fall in love with every single day.

Look up to this person. Get to know this person, know every single thing about them. Make sure that as you create this alter ego, it's truly someone you'd 100% look up to.

Fall in love. Personally, this part is my favorite. I start to visualize and imagine this person so much that I completely fall in love with her. This version is me, truly me, and utterly me. It's not someone else, it's the person I want to be because everything about this person feels like me. I start to romanticize growing and becoming this person, slowly shaping myself, changing my lifestyle, taking action, taking initiative, and building myself and my life brick by brick to fall in love with what I see in the mirror.

Take action and build yourself up. Slowly embody this person. You can't change overnight, but you can grow and shape yourself step by step.

This is NOT about turning into someone else. This isn't about changing yourself to be more likeable or to please others. This is all about knowing what direction you want to go and taking it. Make sure this character is realistic and truly you. Do not try to be someone you won't be happy with, be someone that will make it easier for you to love yourself. Don't become someone that will only push you beyond your limits and break you, become someone who can take control of their own life enough to build their life solely for themselves.

Find yourself, find the best version of yourself, and you'll know what path to take. All you have to do now is take the path.

[kngrose]

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

includes sevika violet jinx

WARNINGS: 18+, stalking, manipulation, implied violence, implied abuse, toxic relationships, NONCON touching, forced proximity, blackmail, mentions of punishments

sevika loneliness induction type

Sevika is fiercely loyal to those she associates herself with, and that’s not just anybody. There must be a substance that directly ties her to the cause. And though she’ll never come clean about what the substance is, if she becomes romantically obsessed with you, that loyalty will turn obsessive. She’s a master of control and patience; she’s very practical. Because she’s so calculated, most of her obsessive tendencies will manifest in quiet, almost unnoticed ways.

Her yandere tendencies wouldn’t involve loud outbursts or tantrums. Instead, she would be silently obsessed, methodically planning her moves and slowly, subtly creating a reality where you feel like you can only depend on her. She wouldn’t express her feelings loudly—rather, her obsession would be reflected in small, quiet gestures that make it clear no one else could ever take her place.

Before you two even "met" she was always around. Keeping track of your every move, watching you from a distance, ensuring no one else got too close. She'd follow you, lurking in the shadows, just to make sure no harm came your way—or to make sure you didn’t get too attached to someone else; romantically or platonically. Every time you’d explained the feeling of being watched to your peers, they’d brush it off. “There is nothing unusual about that,” they would say, “look where we live.” You’d suppose they were right. It would feel more strange if you didn’t feel like you were being followed.

Once Sevika finally makes her presence known, anyone who tries to get close to you, even in a friendly manner, will be met with cold, calculating hostility. She will even go as far as to subtly manipulate situations to isolate you from others, all while maintaining the facade of being the perfect ally. She would pay close attention to who you befriended and considered close before deciding who to pluck from your life. And pluck she would. You’ll start to notice slowly but surely that all of your peers have… disappeared. Which is strange; you guys never got into any trouble– you didn’t have any enemies, there’s literally no one who would be singling you all out. “It's dangerous out here,” she’ll say, “It's dangerous and vile and sick. And they couldn't protect themselves.�� And she’ll gaze at you, a strange glint in her eyes, “But don't worry. I’ll never let anything happen to you.”

She will use her intelligence and strength not just to protect you, but to shape your perception of her. Sevika is good at reading people, so she will slowly play with your emotions—gently pushing your boundaries little by little. To the point where you feel; like you can’t deny her. Her touches would start to linger too long, in places that friends don't touch. Her gazes were too intense. She’s embracing you, kissing you– calling you names friends don't call each other. Every interaction would feel charged as if she’s marking you as hers in ways that go beyond friendship.

Constantly grabbing at the fat of your thighs, dangerously close to your ass. She’s pulling you into her lap, fondling– much to your displeasure. You’ll tell her, “No, that’s not normal…” You’ll make it known that you don’t see her that way. Do you? But she’ll just shush you, tell you to “Relax.”And as the line between “friend” and “lover” would start to blur, Sevika would be pulling the last seam tightly. She’s got you exactly where she wants you.

She would be able to mask her jealousy with a calm and controlled demeanor, but beneath the surface, she would be seething. If you paid attention to anyone else, she’d nod along with the conversation, but her eyes would be cold, flicking between you and the others with disdain, watching for an opportunity to intervene or manipulate the situation. She’d never directly show how much it bothers her, but when you’re gone, she’d ensure that others get the message; your affection is not to be shared.

Aside from someone trying to deter your attention, if anyone ever tried to harm you, Sevika would always retaliate. She's not afraid to get her hands dirty, and her methods of dealing with threats would be brutal. For her, a threat is a threat, and she would see nothing wrong with taking extreme measures to handle it as soon as the opportunity presents itself. She’s not stupid, she won't just jump the gun. She values patience, which would call for a slow, painful death.

She would be adept at playing on your emotions, making you feel guilty if you ever question her or try to pull away. She might say things like, “I’ve always been there for you, haven’t I? So why would you doubt me now?” using her history of loyalty and support to bind you closer to her, turning any moment of doubt into something you feel you must make up for.

If Sevika truly believes you are the one for her, she would convince herself—and eventually, you—that you were meant to be together. Again, she is fiercely loyal and expects nothing less from you in return. In her eyes, she is the only person who truly understands and appreciates you, so anything else would be a betrayal. Please do not test her patience with this. If Sevika makes it clear to you that she doesn’t want you around anyone else, for any reason, do not be caught around anyone else.

When you make a mistake, which you will know when you've made a mistake, she will just give you this look. The look. The one where you know she's pissed off by just a glance. You’re in luck if you're in public; she won't act on it just yet. And she won't act as soon as you get home, either. I feel like Sevika would wait it out on purpose. By this I mean; If you ever did something that upset her, she would be deathly silent; quietly brooding around you, imposing her size on you in an intimidating way. And I'm not talking about a few hours or a day. I'm talking weeks. And it drives you mad. You’ll be walking on eggshells around her, terrified by the deafening silence. What is she thinking? What is she going to do? And this is all according to her plan. She wants you to think she forgot about it so that when she does exact punishment, it will take you by complete surprise. It’s a mind game. And that’s the first thing she’ll break.

violet self sabotaging type

Vi is fiercely protective, passionate, and can be concerningly impulsive, so pairing this all with yandere tendencies would bring forth a compelling mix of aggression, loyalty, and possessiveness. Let’s start where the root of the issue is; she is incredibly jealous. Unhealthily so. Vi's jealousy wouldn’t just be passive; it would be aggressive and reactive. If anyone even looked at you in a way she didn’t like, she’d be quick to intervene, usually with a punch or a threatening glare. Her jealousy would make her irrationally angry—if you decided to pay attention to someone else, she might lash out in frustration, even if she tries to keep a calm exterior.

Vi’s flirtation might be laced with possessiveness—playful jabs or teasing that has an undercurrent of "don’t you dare look at anyone else" embedded in it. If someone else tries to show affection toward you, she would be quick to remind them, through a sharp glare or a fist to the face, that you’re already taken—and that she’s not afraid to be a little violent to keep it that way.

She’s naturally protective over those she loves, but with you that protectiveness would take a much darker turn. She wouldn’t just defend you from external threats—she would also isolate you from anyone she perceives as a potential rival or distraction. Acquaintances, or even strangers would be seen as obstacles in her path, and she might resort to physical intimidation or threats to keep them at bay. She’s not shy about this either; In fact, more often than not you’ll find out this information firsthand as a witness.

She’s so nosy, omg. She has to know everything. Who you went out with the other night? Was that everyone who was there? Why were you out so long? Where did you all even go? Are you keeping something from her?

She’ll try to shrug this off as her being protective, but her protective nature would cross into obsession. Again, she’s not shy about this. She’s always standing close enough to overhear your conversations, idly breathing down your shoulder and making you and the other person uncomfortable. She’s always be nearby, ready to step in if she feels something is wrong. If you try to go out alone, she'd insist on accompanying you, always finding excuses to be in your personal space.

To most people, She would still appear to be the strong, caring, and honestly reckless person they know, but beneath the surface, she would have an all-consuming obsession with you. Anyone who saw her with you might think you both have a maybe somewhat overbearing, but affectionate relationship. But in truth, Vi would always be calculating, and slowly taking control of your life to ensure that you could never escape her.

She’ll always find a reason to touch you—putting a hand on your shoulder or wrapping an arm around your waist, all while making it clear that no one else is allowed this kind of closeness. The more possessive she gets, the tighter and more lingering her embraces would be, and she wouldn’t tolerate anyone else getting too close.

Vi would use her knowledge of your emotions to manipulate you into doing what she wants. You’re trying to distance yourself? No worries, she’ll be sure to draw you back in with sweet words and kisses you can taste– that always worked in the past. But if not? She’s angry, she’s confused. Why would you want to leave someone who’s so selfless and always ready to fight for you?

She’s guilt-tripping you, reminding you of all the things she’s done for you, how much she’s fought for you, and how no one else cares about you the way she does. And if that doesn’t work? Have fun pulling her out of whatever hole she’s about to dig herself into out of pure spite. Drinking herself into oblivion? Picking fights with any and everyone? Threatening to off herself, for fucks sake.

And if somehow her threatening to end her life doesn't work? That’s fine; just be prepared to clear up the most malicious rumors about yourself. The ones that make people alienate you. They’re spreading like wildfire, there’s no way you’ll be able to have it under control. At that point, who else can you turn to? You’ll have no choice but to worm your way back into the relationship you so desperately wanted to leave. The one person who didn’t turn on you in your time of despair. She’s stubborn and she’s childish and she knows this. But it won't deter her one bit. It’s only when you’re back under her arm that the rumors dissipate like smoke, leaving as quickly as they came. It’ll dawn on you then, where they originated.

jinx delusional type

Jinx is not afraid to harm you. Whether it be mentally, emotionally, or physically. Please understand that she is not above that. She has real psychological issues, so in this relationship being very careful is very vital. It might cost you your life. She is constantly putting you to the test, she wants to see what decisions you’ll make, and how you’ll react under pressure. She might create situations to see if you’ll abandon her or stand by her. If she perceives any kind of betrayal, even a small one, her obsession will deepen, and she will lash out to remind you of her hold on you.

She’ll do little things like leaving doors unlocked or leaving a key nearby, all the while watching silently from the shadows, anticipating your next moves. She enjoys creating confusion, making you doubt yourself, and feeding your insecurities, all while maintaining a façade of sweetness and care. More than likely you may start feeling like you’re losing your grip on reality, unsure whether her actions are out of love or something darker.

If you still have your freedom, you might catch her following you if you have a sharp enough eye. Whether it's sneaking into your room, watching you from afar, or listening in on your conversations, she’ll make sure she knows everything about your life. And if you seem distant or don't include her in your world, it sends her into a spiral of insecurity and she tries even harder to make you need her.

Her paranoia is a defining trait of her yandere tendencies. If you show any kind of affection or attention toward anyone else, she snaps, jealousy swallowing her whole. This can lead her to lash out, either through harsh words, tantrums, or more drastic actions. In her mind, only she should have your attention and affection.

You always have to watch what you say, constantly trying to pacify the thoughts in her in the hope that you’re not feeding into them. Sometimes you’ll catch her muttering things to herself as she stares off at nothing, intervening when her muttering starts sounding homicidal. You’ve learned not to let her talk to herself too long, or she’ll start getting confused. Once, she grabbed your face with an iron grip, jerking your face to hers. “You don't need anyone else, right Baby?” She smiled softly, scanning your face, though the smile didn’t meet her eyes. You were dumbfounded– you didn't know how to respond. You didn’t know how she would react– she was so unpredictable– “SAY IT!” You violently flinched, sputtering the words back to you. It seemed to pacify her then, as her soft smile returned and she pecked your lips. “Right..” She’d muttered, petting your hair idly.

Her emotions fluctuate rapidly. One moment, she’ll be sweet and charismatic, trying to be the perfect companion. You’ll almost let your guard down. But in the next, she could snap, lashing out in a fit of rage at any given thing. It could be something as little as you glancing away while she’s speaking; her eyes quickly darting to see what or who’s stolen your attention from her. She’ll feel betrayed.

Because she’s so unpredictable, you’ll never be able to create a mental routine of the “punishments” she gives you. You’ll drive yourself mad just thinking about it; how the hell can she possibly be coming up with so many ways of torment? Sensory deprivation, shock collars, pinning little bombs to your clothes– they won't explode but you’ll think they will. It’s all a game to her, once she feels wronged. She’ll do anything to make you feel the way she does inside, even if that means breaking the moral code.

Jinx loves having control over situations, especially where you are concerned. She’ll "accidentally" sabotage plans or relationships that threaten her sense of control. Or at least she’ll call it an accident when you bring it up. She also collects items that remind her of you—photos, scraps of clothing, anything that holds sentimental value. She’ll hide these items in hidden places as Jinx sees them as proof of her connection to you, and she’ll be upset if they go missing.

Part of me thinks Jinx doesn’t have an end goal, or she has too many. Too many different voices, too many different ideas, too many possibilities. What does she want from you exactly? Well, she doesn’t know. Does she love you? She does! Well, at least she thinks she does. Why else could she feel so passionately about you? But in the same instance– why does she want to break you so badly? Why does she have the urge to hurt you? You’ll catch her staring, shooting her a weary glance; she’s muttering to herself again. You wonder what it’s about this time.

please let me know if you would like to be added to my taglist to be notified everytime i post, xx

taglist: @opropheticsoul

[thinkingoutlouddblog]

doctor doctor - s.r.

pairing: casual sex!Spencer Reid x fem!reader

summary: on the way to the hospital you call the only doctor you know (and the only person you want to see) - though you may have misunderstood what kind of doctor he is, exactly

word count: nearly 4k

masterlist // this is a continuation of 'the agreement'

series playlist if you're into that :)

contains: florist!reader, mugging, violence, allusions to potential SA attempt (no actual attempt made), allusions to smut, two cuties who are down bad for each other but refuse to admit it to themselves, they really don't know that much about each other's lives, mentions of no contact with family, reader refuses to put their own safety first and Spencer isn't living for it

Spencer has never known you to contact him during the day. 

In fact, he’s never known you to initiate contact, only ever reply to his texts. These messages consist only of logistics. Your place or mine? What time? That kind of thing.  

So at first, his expression is that of confusion as he reads your text.

BABY: What hospital do you work at ???

Spencer thought back over your first ever conversation. It was the only time you had ever discussed his work. He supposed he had only referred to it in an abstract sort of way. It wasn’t a leap that you would have assumed that Doctor Spencer Reid was in the medical field when he spoke of being unable to shake the memories of those he couldn’t save.

Beyond that first encounter, the point of your arrangement had been that it was an outlet for him to forget his work, so Spencer had never brought it up again and you had never pushed him to share. 

Spencer’s chest tightened. He considered the probability of you asking him this question innocuously. Given past instances of casual text conversation (zero), he knew the chances were not good. 

“Spencer, are you with us?” Hotch asked.

Not at all, he nearly said.

They were at the tail end of a case briefing, everyone’s eyes trained on Spencer as he stared at his phone. It didn’t take a profiler to know that a technophobe staring that intently at their phone spelled trouble.

“I need to step out for a sec.”

Spencer didn’t wait for a reply, already halfway out of his seat. He wouldn’t have even heard it if one came, his thoughts altogether consumed by you.

You picked up on the second ring. Spencer’s stomach dropped. He could hear the ambulance sirens loud and clear through the phone.

“Spencer?”

You sound slightly out of it. He ran through the potential reasons within a nanosecond. Pain, shock, blood loss, painkillers, a blow to the head.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you slurred slightly, unaware of the panic in his tone. “It’s just a scratch. They’re just being cautious.” If that were true, there would be no sirens for you to raise your voice over, but Spencer doesn’t say as much. “His knife was just very sharp. But I’m going to be okay, they told me so.”

The room tilted. His knife. 

“You’re going to be okay,” Spencer knew he was reassuring himself more than he was you, but he hoped you didn’t notice. “What hospital are they taking you to?”

“Um,” you thought for a long second, “I don’t know.

“What hospital?” you asked someone other than Spencer. You repeated what the paramedic told you, though Spencer had already heard.

“Okay, I’m going to be there really soon, okay baby?”

“That would be nice,” you hummed.

The team emerged from the conference room as he hung up the phone.

“Wheels up in thirty, Reid. You with us?” Hotch asked.

“I need to take some personal time. I’m not sure how long yet. All of today at least.”

Spencer’s feet itched to be on the move as he stood and explained himself to his boss. Every second spent not on the way to you was a waste. If he did not consider these people his family, he’s not sure he would have had the restraint to stand here and have this conversation.

“Of course,” Hotch nodded, understanding and unquestioning. “Let us know if you need anything.”

Spencer turned to leave, yelling a quick, I will, over his shoulder.

“Reid!” Garcia called as he left.

Spencer didn’t stop walking, heard her heels clacking and figured she would catch up.

“Is your mom okay?”

“She’s fine,” he didn’t look up as he grabbed his bag from his desk. A thought occurred to him. “I might need some information from you later,” he said, the words his knife echoing in his mind with every move he made.

“I’ll await your phone call,” she told him, earnest. 

Spencer didn’t even think to thank her, already running out of the office. 

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It had been a rough morning for you. 

You were in the worst point between Spencer visits. The glow of the orgasms had faded, the memories of the sex becoming further from the front of your mind. More difficult to hold onto with clarity. It would be several days yet until you could expect a visit from him again, thus the thrill of anticipation seemed miles away. You were in the middle period, left with one thing and one thing only: frustration. 

You found yourself becoming crabby during this period. If you weren’t enjoying the sex so much, you would find it embarrassing. Your mood had become dependent on the frequency of visits from a guy you were seeing casually for sex. (You refused to acknowledge the fact that the influence was perhaps not exclusively the sex but the company you were enjoying and at this moment, missing).

You tried not to let your bad mood dominate your day, but it certainly infiltrated your enthusiasm for work, or rather created a lack thereof. You dragged your heels through your morning routine, spending more time than you should daydreaming about what (or who) you would rather be doing and found yourself running to make the train on time. 

Normally, you would never cut through that alley to get to the train station, but you did so out of sheer necessity to catch your train. 

It was broad daylight, you told yourself. It would be fine.

It was decidedly not fine. 

You heard them before you saw them. Her cries. His harsh and low, “Hurry up, bitch.”

His back was to you, so much larger than her that you couldn’t even see her behind him. 

You didn’t think, just reacted.

You don’t even remember running up, just the moment you yanked his shoulder away from her, towards you. He spun with the force of it. You hadn’t checked to see if he was wielding a weapon, barely even saw the flash of the knife as it sliced up your arm in the scuffle. 

He was young. Maybe nineteen. 

Luckily for you, your bold move was enough to spook him. He didn’t hesitate for a second before he took off running. 

Your damsel in distress was around your age, shaking and still with her open bag in hand.

“Are you okay?” you asked, not yet seeing the blood dripping down your own arm.

She didn’t say anything. Didn’t even look in your direction. Just stared after her retreating assailant. Despite the mounting distance between herself and danger, her shaking took on a more ferocious edge as shock set in. The girl’s back hit the wall behind her, in a second she was on the ground and folding in on herself.

You bent down and reached for her hand. That was when you saw the blood. It had slid down your arm and covered your hand already. Your stomach lurched at the volume. You steeled yourself and looked beyond it, focused on the girl’s face.

“You’re okay. Don’t worry, lovely, it’s over now,” you gripped her hand as best you could as you plied her with assurances.

The throb of your wound registered like a kick in the gut as your adrenaline began to crash. Your butt hit the cement with a thud. Your vision started to swim but you tried not to think about it but rather the girl in front of you. She needed you to hold tight just a little bit longer. That much you could do.

“What’s your name, lovely?”

Her teeth clacked together but she managed to tell you, “Grace.”

“Grace, I need you to take a deep breath.” You led with an exaggerated inhale, and to your relief she followed your example. 

She settled some after three deep breaths together. Shakily, you used your good arm to pull your phone out of your pocket. You passed it to Grace and asked her to dial 911, unable to make out the numbers as your vision blurred. As you listened to her on the phone you couldn’t help but think again of the doctor who had been on your mind before your morning went to hell. Your doctor.

Despite everything, you huffed a laugh. You might see Spencer sooner than you thought.

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Of course you hadn’t anticipated him dropping everything to come see you.

Just like you hadn’t anticipated the somewhat drunk, woozy feeling blood loss would create within you. Without it, you were sure you wouldn’t have texted him at all. 

You didn’t have anyone else to call, so you hoped you would just happen to be headed to the hospital where he worked. 

The paramedics on scene seemed very serious about your injury. You thought they would maybe just stitch you up on scene. They wouldn’t even let you walk to the ambulance, demanding you lie down (and remain) on a gurney. It overwhelmed you, and in a moment of weakness you reached out to Spencer.

But you were secretly glad you had done it. 

When you saw his face as he burst into your room (rather, your curtained off bed), you smiled despite the needle going into your arm. 

He was frazzled, hair an unkempt mess and slightly out of breath. There was relief in his eyes as they locked onto yours. Then he clocked the doctor stitching up your arm. In two quick strides he was there, eyeing both the injury and the doctor’s handiwork. 

Spencer could see the way the blade had swung out, slicing you first shallowly in your lower arm and catching some air above your elbow before slicing deeper into the flesh of your upper arm, creating a long broken line up your arm. 

“Did the laceration on the upper arm nick any arteries?” he asked the doctor, all business. 

“Luckily not, but your girl here was sitting in the cement bleeding for a while before the paramedics got there,” your doctor replied smoothly, unbothered by Reid’s probing. “Once I finish stitching her she’ll receive a transfusion. She’s a bit loopy from the blood loss right now.”

On cue, you pout at Spencer. “You’re not wearing your scrubs.”

He peeks at your displeased expression and he is overwhelmed by a desire to plant a hundred kisses all over your face. He releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding to see you talking and okay (well, half a breath, he’ll release the other half when you get your blood transfusion and stop looking so ashen).

Distracted by another thought, he only half looks at you as he says, “I’m not that kind of doctor, angel.

“What was the ambulance response time?” He asked the doctor. 

“I would have to ask to find out the exact time but I don’t believe it was longer than normal. I heard from the nurses that she scared a mugger off from some poor girl. Didn’t call an ambulance until she could get the girl calmed down some.”

The doctor turned to you. 

“Just remember next time, Supergirl, that paramedics can settle down people in shock too. Leave something for the rest of us to do,” the doctor winked at you. 

“I left the arm for you to stitch, what more do you want,” you joked, but your eyes were half shut. 

They opened quickly as a thought registered. “What kind of doctor are you then? A psychiatrist?”

The doctor’s brows shoot up, obviously wondering as to the nature of your relationship with Spencer if you don’t even know what kind of doctor he is. 

Spencer is surprised by the itchy feeling it gives him inside. It had given him pleasure to be perceived as your person, the one you count on. He didn’t like this new perception the doctor would have of your relationship. That you didn’t really know each other. Even if it was a lot closer to the truth. 

Spencer’s pleased to be spared having this conversation in front of the doctor as he finishes up the last stitch and says, “I’ll be back with a nurse to set up the transfusion in a minute.” 

Spencer thanked the doctor and pulled up a seat beside you, no longer needing to supervise anyone’s medical handiwork. He sat on your good side so he could hold your hand without causing any discomfort. 

“How are you feeling, honey?”

“Confused.”

Spencer rolled his eyes. “How does your arm feel?”

“It’s fine, Spence. They gave me the good stuff, I promise. Now tell me what kind of doctor you are because I’m feeling silly.”

It occurs to Spencer then that you may share a commonality. Neither of you enjoy being wrong. Surely that is the explanation for the crease between your brows and the downturn of your mouth, something he is so unused to seeing. 

“You’re not silly. You made a reasonable deduction based on the information you were provided.” 

“The wrong deduction.”

“Well, yes,” he concedes. 

“So?” You look at him expectantly.

“My doctorates are in mathematics, engineering and chemistry, but I work for the FBI in the behavioural analysis unit,” he explained.

You stared at him blankly. This new reality was perhaps too much for your brain to comprehend so soon after a traumatic event.

“I catch killers by creating profiles of who these criminals would likely be based on the behaviour of known offenders,” Spencer attempted to simplify. “Well, not just me. Me and my team.”

“Sure,” you snorted.

Spencer just looked at you. Waited a beat for you to process. 

Realisation dawned upon you. “Oh. You’re serious?”

“I’m not exactly well known for my jokes.”

You laughed. “That’s true.” 

You sat back in your bed and sized him up, considering him within this new context. Reshuffling the picture you had formed of his life outside of your dalliances. 

“Maybe it’s the drugs or the blood loss but I can actually kind of see it.”

It was Spencer’s turn to snort. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“I might still ask to see your credentials later. I’m not sure I would know the difference if you handed me your driver’s licence at this point.”

“I don’t have my driver’s licence.”

You shuddered. This is who we’re entrusting the safety of the public with?

“Hey!”

Oops. You hadn’t realised you were talking aloud in your hazy state.

“I’ll take you for a driving lesson one day okay? If you can figure out a way to have so many doctorates you can figure out how to drive under my tutelage.” 

Your eyes started to droop shut as you spoke, and your voice took on a sort of dreamy quality as you pictured the two of you in a car park somewhere driving around in circles. The thought made you feel warm and cosy inside. 

“Come on, baby, stay awake just until they hook up the blood transfusion for me, please?”

You did as you were told with a pout. 

“You and I need to have a chat about your vigilante behaviour.”

“Ah, Mr FBI is here to tell me off. Sorry, Doctor FBI.” You attempted a wink at him, trying to keep the mood light, but all you managed in your exhausted state was a kind of exaggerated blink.

Spencer would remember the moment later and smile, but right now he was too focused on the issue at hand. 

“Baby, I’m serious. What were you thinking? Your life isn’t worth someone’s wallet.”

You grimaced. You wished he had just taken a hint and dropped it. “I didn’t think, okay?”

“That was obvious.” 

Spencer’s clipped tone caused his words to land across your face like a blow. He wanted to stuff them back into his mouth as soon as he said them. You withdrew your hand from his.

“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. I just- I got so worried when you called me from the back of that ambulance. Scared me half to death. Now I’m scared half to death that this won’t be the only time you go looking for trouble.”

“I didn’t go looking for trouble, Spencer. I stumbled across them and I thought,” you sighed and looked away from him. “I thought he was going to take more from her than her wallet, and I just reacted, okay? I didn’t go looking for trouble. It found me.”

You sat in silence together for a moment. Spencer could feel some history behind your words and the heaviness in your eyes. He wanted to ask. Wanted to know. But he knew now wasn’t the time or the place.

“That makes sense. I’m sorry I didn’t think. Didn’t try harder to put myself in your shoes.”

“Didn’t you just tell me that was your whole job or something too?” You teased, trying to break the ice that had frosted over between you. 

“Kind of.”

Normally he would dive into a spiel about the exact ins and outs of the process of behavioural analysis but he is interrupted by a nurse. 

“Knock knock,” she chimes.

Spencer stands, allowing the nurse access to you. She works quickly, and with expert ease, unfazed by Spencer’s watchful eye. 

You go quiet as she works, the events (and injury) of the morning catching up with you. Spencer kicks himself internally for not letting you rest. He should have waited to bring up his concerns. Asked about it in a more delicate manner. The panic had a tight hold on him though, and he is unsure there is any version of events in which he would have been able to keep his mouth shut.

The doctor stops by to check in and make sure you’re good to go, and then Spencer can finally breathe a (full) sigh of relief as your blood transfusion is underway. 

“Can I nap now?” Your voice is small, your eyes barely open.

“Of course,” the doctor says, but you’re looking at Spencer. He’s never seen you look so young and vulnerable before. 

Spencer nods. “Let’s get you comfortable, baby.”

He fusses over you, fluffing your pillow and tucking you into your blanket. Once satisfied, he sits back down and reclaims your hand in his. 

“Is there anyone else you want me to call for you?”

Embarrassed, you shake your head no. Sliced open on the street and the only person in the world you have to call is the guy you’re having casual sex with. 

“No family?”

Spencer kicked himself for asking such a sensitive question. Your agreement not to discuss personal issues was in direct opposition to his innate curiosity about you. He supposes today was a special incident though, and for the duration they might be able to exist slightly outside the boundaries of the agreement. 

You had held strong through the whole ordeal, showing little signs of being rattled by the violent altercation of which you had been a part of. But you gave Spencer a watery smile at his two word question.

“You’re not the only one with things to forget, Spencer.”

He brushes the tear off your face as soon as it falls. “Then let me help you forget.”

“I think they frown upon you doing those kinds of things in a hospital room. Particularly one where the walls are just curtains,” you joked.

Spencer refused to acknowledge your lewd comment. “Tell me what book you want me to read to you. One of those romances that you love so much. But one of the classics, otherwise I might not know it.”

You might not know what he does for work, but you know him well enough not to doubt his ability to recite novels to you. 

You drift off to the steady timbre of Spencer’s voice, reciting Austen. He doesn’t start at the beginning, jumping rather to your favourite part so you can fall asleep to something that he knows will make you happy. Spencer doesn’t realise of course, that his presence alone will bring you enough joy to fall asleep peacefully. 

When he is sure that you are well and truly asleep, Spencer steps out to make a phone call. Garcia, despite working an active case, picks up on the first ring. 

“Everything okay, my love?”

“Everything’s fine, thankfully. Listen, I need a favour.”

“I can’t find that info for you until the case is over,” Penelope interjects.

“I know, that’s fine, this is something else.”

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You awake to find two bunches of flowers beside your bed, a card in each one. Curious, your eyes are barely open before you’re sitting up and reaching for the cards. The first identifies the sender as your damsel in distress, Grace, the second identifies the sender as ‘Spencer and the BAU’. 

“Really they’re mainly from the BAU’s tech analyst, Penelope,” Spencer tells you as he re-enters your arm, catching you in the act of reading the card. “She doesn’t really understand the concept of personal boundaries.” 

He hands you the water he had evidently gone to fetch you before reassuming his post by your bed.

You gulp down the water thirstily and ask, “What did you get me if those aren’t really from you then?”

You’re teasing, not actually expectant of anything, but he nods toward your arm. 

You look down to see your injured arm is no longer propped up by a pillow, but by the softest, sweetest teddy bear you’ve ever seen. He’s a gorgeous shade of chestnut brown, with chocolate eyes and a red bow tie. You lift your arm to get a better look and see he has a bandage on his arm to match your own. You melt. 

“I know you’re a florist so the idea of picking flowers that would meet your standards overwhelmed me and I thought maybe they wouldn’t be as special to you somehow? And you’ve been so brave through this whole thing I figured you deserve something special. Maybe you think it’s childish but I thought it would also be useful for keeping your arm elevated so if you don’t like it-”

“Spencer,” you interrupted. 

“Yeah?”

“I love it,” you grin. 

“You do?”

“I do. Thank you so much.” He finally cracks a smile at this, the first you had seen on his face all day. The room becomes all the brighter for it. You are overwhelmed with gratitude for him at that moment. You can’t imagine how sad and lonely this whole ordeal would have felt without him (even the mere thought of him, the anticipation of seeing him) to get you through. 

“And thank you so much for being here, I know this isn’t what you agreed to. Being someone’s emergency contact isn’t exactly casual,” you laughed, trying to make light of your own guilt.

“I don’t mind. I’m just glad that you’re okay. That’s the most important thing.” Spencer took your hand then. 

You hummed, but you were not entirely convinced.

“Besides, just because we’re getting to know each other a little better doesn’t mean we can’t keep things casual. You know what kind of doctor I am, and I know you’re Batman, doesn’t mean that I’m your boyfriend.”

You laughed a proper laugh then. Spencer has never been one for comedy, but he sees its appeal for the first time as he basks in the glow of being the one to evoke that sweet sound. 

“Okay, so maybe we… rethink the terms of our agreement?” You pray the hope in your tone (and your eyes) don’t betray you.

“I think,” Spencer paused, gave your hand a squeeze, “we do what feels right as we go along.”

You agreed, knowing full well you were throwing yourself headlong into getting your heart broken, because while Spencer wanted casual, the only thing that felt right to you was pulling him closer.

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authors note: low-key put my whole chest into this ngl

I have so many ideas for these two sweeties I started like four fics about them at once which is why this one took so long. Let me know what you want to see from these two!

[reidrum]

I can't stop thinking munch!spencer x reader who's insecure about having thick thighs (it's me, I'm reader)

take a seat | s.r

hi thank u for requesting!! i tried to be ambiguous about reader’s size but if it doesn’t come across that way lemme know and ill fix it!!!

wc: 1.7k

cw: 18+ smut minors dni, afab reader, face sitting, munch!spencer my beloved, insecure!reader who i took to be a little self indulgent sorry, fluff, hurt comfort but no hurt lol

this is also not proofread sorry

_______________________________________________

the thing about spencer is if you have any fear or qualm about anything, his main verbal form of comfort is information. and it’s not a bad thing, not at all. finding comfort in the facts is what spencer hopes to achieve when he spews his tidbits. it’s just, sometimes it’ll do more harm than good, or even worse, do nothing at all.

that’s where you’re at right now, sitting in spencer’s room with your legs tucked under you while he sits up at the head of the bed. the top buttons of his dress shirt are undone, tie strewn somewhere in the room. you’re still fully clothed albeit in a loose t shirt and some panties. the want in his eyes is undeniable, his question still lingering in the air.

you weren’t exactly the most confident person, but was anyone really? did people really wake up in the morning, look at themselves in the mirror and say, ‘wow, i look beautiful today.”? tell themselves they’re going to have a good day because they said so?

so when you’d spent your whole life living in the shadows trying to blend in and just do your job, one day an ever observant spencer reid saw you struggling to carry your coffee and your bag into the bullpen and came to your rescue before it could spill all over you. you were a mumbling mess, uttering thank you’s and i’m so sorrys and i’ll be more careful next time. but his gaze on you was unwavering, even in the face of your uneasiness, and firmly but softly told you nothing was wrong, and suggested that maybe you and him should get coffee before work to avoid this rush next time.

falling in love with him was too easy after that.

spencer never failed to make you feel cherished, loved, safe, always going above and beyond to care for your needs and wants. the trust you had in him was immense and you knew he would never steer you astray.

so sitting in front of him on his bed while he adorns a small smirk asking, no telling, you to sit on his face, made you falter a bit.

“you want me, to sit on your face?”

he nods, “yeah.”

any thought you’ve ever had vanishes from your brain, “b—but, won’t it be uncomfortable? for you?”

“not at all.”

seeing spencer be surprisingly calm about this is having the opposite effect on you, creating the unsettlement in your gut. like he’s been thinking about this for while, has wanted you at his mercy in a way you haven’t experienced before, has thought through all the facts and possibilities and ruled with absolute certainty that this was what he wanted, needed. and right now your body is betraying your mind as the heat pools between your legs.

but that brain of yours, a blessing with its vast knowledge but a curse at how easily a single thought can send you into a deep spiral, is working overtime to convince you that this isn’t really what he wants.

he can see the cogs working overtime and scoots closer to you and places a comforting hand on your thigh to rub soothing shapes with his thumb, “what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“nothing i-“ you stop before you can get too deep.

his eyes look at you expectantly, luring you to continue.

“what if i hurt you?”

“that is literally impossible.”

“what if i suffocate you?”

“then that would be a great way to go out.” he chuckles.

you lightly slap his leg, “stop that.”

he gestures you closer to sit curled into his side, a comforting arm smoothing you up and down. “if you really don’t want to do it that’s okay i don’t want to push you, just want you to feel good s’all.”

you ponder for a minute, “…you would tell me if it’s too much right?”

“i would,” he nods, “but i won’t need to.”

he squeezes your hand in reassurance, and you remember that spencer reid would never lie to you.

which is why you say, “okay.”

his eyes light up like a carnival, “yeah?”

you take a deep breath, “yeah.”

“come here,” cupping your cheek to bring in and kiss you.

it starts off slow, deliberate. like he wants you to know how much he appreciates you placing your trust in his possession, and how gently and carefully he’s going to take care of it.

you hike a leg over his lap to straddle him and wrap your arms around his neck, letting his lips mark you like a road map. he moves down your jaw and uses his nose to nudge your neck away, giving him better access to litter the skin with love bites.

the moans spilling from your mouth spur him on, he starts subconsciously bucking his hips up causing you to grow restless for more.

he senses this and motions for you to lift up on your knees above him so he can slide his body down flat between your legs. the warm palms of his hands rest where your thighs meet the swell of your ass.

you look down at the sight of him laid out for you, and catch his shit eating grin staring back. the dichotomy this position gives you with a sense of power to be over him like this but the vulnerability at feeling so exposed caused a swirl of emotions for you.

“hey,” he squeezes his palms laid on your ass, “if this is a lot, that’s okay.”

“no, no.i think i want this. i’m just scared.” you softly admit.

“nothing to be scared of, angel. it’s not like i haven’t eaten you out before, it’s just a different position,” his hands move closer to your core, “let me make you feel good, please.”

you stare into his eyes once more, being met with nothing but trust and lust for you. with a deep breath, you nod your head.

he smirks again, “alright sweetheart, take a seat.”

you slowly inch your body up his own, hearing him outwardly groan as your cunt came into his line of sight.

“jesus fuck, you have the prettiest pussy.”

you preen at his words once you’ve reached the position, and you hover in hesitation. he wraps his arms under and around your legs and gently pulls you down.

and he attacks you like a man starved. his tongue licking a full stripe up your cunt, letting it swirl around your clit. the feeling is so intense in this position you have to lean forward and brace yourself on the headboard.

with a gasp you whine out his name, “oh my god, fuck.” he continues to use his tongue to barrel you towards your peak, knowing exactly where to touch and lick to rile you up.

he can tell you’re still holding back, feeling the tense muscles in your upper thighs harden under his touch. with a sharp tug he pulls you to be seated fully on his face, and he lets out a deep groan that vibrates through your whole body.

you’re fully at his mercy now, held down by his large hands and his mouth working so hard to make you see stars. the pleasure is overtaking all of your senses, when you look down to meet his eyes they’re staring right back at you, reveling in your ecstasy. a languished moan leaves you as you tangle your hands in his hair and pull.

he laps up your arousal with urgency, tongue moving in such a delicate and intricate way you would think he’s writing a love letter with it.

the coil in your gut starts to tighten and you can feel your peak coming fast, “spence…” you whine.

he hums in response, silently acknowledging what you mean. one more slow lick up and down your slit was all it took to push you overboard. the endorphins rush over you like a tsunami as you try to ride out the wave of your orgasm.

spencer doesn’t stop his motions and continues to work your overly sensitive clit, gripping your legs tighter to him as he prevents you from escaping.

“shit, oh god baby, you need to st—stop.” you brokenly moan out. you tug on his hair hard as you try to release his grip on you, and after a few minutes he takes pity and lets you go.

you let out a big and tired sigh as you flop to the side of him, one leg still draped over him as you’re both panting heavily, attempting to come down from the heat of the moment.

he smoothes out the leg over him with his hand and turns to face you, face plastered with a stupid grin and glistening with you.

“see? that wasn’t so bad.”

you scoff breathlessly, “i think maybe you’re trying to kill me.”

“maybe,” he laughs, “ but you liked it right?”

you nod bashfully, “did you…like it?”

his eyes widen, “are you kidding? you looked so hot it drove me insane. you’re always so beautiful but having you like that…i like making you feel good, it makes me feel really good, and that is a win-win.”

you smile at him and move closer to fit under his arm and into his side, your hand resting on his chest. he tightens his arm around you and whisper, “i love you.”

“i love you too,” you say through hooded eyes. your hand starts trailing lower, “must have been really good for you seeing how painful this looks.” you softly say, gesturing to the aching bulge in his boxers, the dark patch stained by precum.

his breath hitches as you inch closer, “baby, no it’s okay. you don’t have to do th—“ the sentence gets cut off when your hand gives him a tentative squeeze.

“i don’t have to, but i want to. i should thank you somehow for making me feel so good,” your voice dropping an octave in lust, “will you let me show my thanks, honey?”

you stare at him with the sultriest doe eyes he’s ever seen, and he’s thoroughly convinced in that moment that you are, in fact, trying to kill him.

still a great way to go out, he thinks.

[felassanis]

I really love the idea of The Dark Urge, who's on the road to redemption, actually being pushed into an Alliance with Gortash when they reunite in Act 3 affer the way their companions react to the reveal.

Because EVERYONE (barring Astarion cause hes understandably grateful actually lol, but he still calls u evil) is fucking appalled by the reveal. Karlach outright doesn't even want to look at you, which is MORE than understandable given how one of the closest people to her is getting the heart eyes from Gortash. Gale doesn't want to speak to you, Jaheira is starting to doubt and is horrified because you're not just a Bhaalspawn. But THE Bhaalspawn.

And think about it from Durge's perspective. Through dialogue choices there's option for Durge to come across as...slightly hopeless. They condemn themselves in a very self deprecating manner in some dialogue. But the one thing that makes them want to do better, is to do right by the people around them. To be a better person for them.

But here, their friends are condemning them. Yelling at Durge for being the mastermind, and as someone said in a GREAT post I'll need to track down, All this alienates Durge from their party, potentially reinstating Durge's self-hatred that they're beyond hope, and suddenly...Gortash is the only friendly face in the room.

Regardless if it's intentional on Gortash's part to alienate Durge. Here is this man who knows you, showers you in compliments but it's not...fake. not in the way you would expect from the sleazy man. He is genuinely HAPPY to see you. The first person...ever, to be genuinely happy to see you. (Because you're awful and no one is ever happy to see you rock up) AND he's got all the answers to your past.

Meanwhile behind you. Everyone is seeing you for the monster you've been telling them you are. The monster you FEAR you are.

You suddenly feel alone amongst faces you call friends. They look at you and are repulsed. And yes, of course they are. You're the Dark Urge. Murder incarnate. Why wouldn't they? And with how harsh some companions can be in this scene (again understandably) I can see a real argument for Durge losing all motivation to redeem themselves potentially. They were doing it for their friends and now their friends hate them.

But Gortash? Gortash knows Durge for the monster they are and yet they greet them like an old friend. They ARE old friends. Gortash knows the worst of Durge and yet he can't seem to wipe that smile off his face talking to them.

Maybe this is where Durge was always supposed to wind up.

[evilminji]

Oh shit :D ?

I just remembered! (Thank you, historical fantasy section!) But like? Serving and protecting The King, especially a HIGH KING, is quite literally not just an incredible honor... but it can sometimes be a person's Life Ambition?

Specificly a WORTHY king.

Perhaps they were denied in life. Perhaps they FAILED. And in their dying moments struggle with all they were to LIVE. To PROTECT. Perhaps the PREVIOUS king was a great and worthy ruler... but their heir is...

Unworthy.

Maybe they are born to an age without Rulers. Power shifting between hands in hidden halls. Unclear and murky. All they want is for their loyalty to MEAN something. For things to be SIMPLE.

The universe is large. The Infinite Realms? Unimaginably larger.

And Pariah Dark was a BASTARD.

Who would willingly swear to him? Fools! That's who! Every warrior soul worth ANYTHING gets as far AWAY from his Realm forsaken resting place as they can. Hides. Lest they be dragged in to his infernal, gods forsaken, cess pit of a so called "army"! *disgusted spitting noises*

But what does this mean? It means every trained FIGHTER... got the hell out of dodge. Oh, sure, a FEW refused. Like Pandora and her people. But most? The farthest side of NOWHERE, several layers down! Some still GOING! Better to be decried as cowards then have ANYTHING to do with THAT(said with loathing)!

It also means they weren't where Pariah could get to them when he woke. Couldn't help. Couldn't fight. Couldn't be commanded to kneel. Nothing. They removed themselves completely. Planned on CONTINUING to remove themselves. Preferably to the farthest reaches of forever, far beyond the bastard's gaze.

But! The whole REALM INFINITE felt it? When that... that hissing, acidic, malicious undertone? SLAMS back and away, like somebody's knocked a parasite from their backs. Replaced by coolness and starlight. Delicate balance and blood on your teeth. The pounding in your chest of HOPE.

It flutters so small across their backs, inside their chests. Washing away the old.

The King... feels tiny. Young.

.......what are they doing? Running like this. Hiding away like that will change anything. How long... when did...

There are so many of them now. A veritable army of souls, of all Ages and People's. Every armor and crest imaginable. They'd been so.. so REPULSED by Pariah... nothing else had mattered but to get AWAY. Where even ARE they? What YEAR is it? Does any of that matter?

The King.

Their Obsessions whisper. Loyalty. Service. Protection. Honor. You have left you post! Abandoned your DUTY! What are you DOING!?

They are AGHAST. They turn around at once. The King! How could they have ABANDONED the King!? Who is guarding him if they are all HERE?!

Himself!?

(Yes. Danny is fine. He is eating the "Thank You for keeping us all from dying to whatever the FUCK that was!" tamales Paulina's mom pushed into his arms on his way back home. He didn't even try arguing. He made eye contact and knew he would lose.)

(Why does he feel like something really, really bothersome is headed his way?)

It's UNACCEPTABLE. Unthinkable! The King? Unguarded? Where assassination attempts and nefarious PLOTS could occur?! What if someone tried to steal his eggs!? Or attacked him while his exoskeleton was molting!? They aren't entirely sure which species he is yet, but there are SO MANY NEFARIOUS PLOTS OUT THERE!!

*panicked honor guards*

Just? Imagine becoming king. And thinking "well, aside from the skeleton army I have to figure out, at least I don't have to manage anybody!" Only to *WABAM!* your ENTIRE GHOST COURT shows up like a week later. Turns out they were hiding from your predecessor.

You have a whole ass honor gaurd. Who REFUSE TO LEAVE YOUR SIDE. You have Chefs. Who WILL cry if you send them away. The Literal Best In The Multiverse are all following you around... YOU, a RANDOM TEENAGE, with Excited Shoujo Sparkles in their eyes... because you punched a jackass really, REALLY hard.

There is no way to make this stop. Your friends are laughing at you. The interior decorator wants you to look at swatches. What are swatches and why are you being harrased by them at 1am, you wonder? If you are Mean(tm) they throw themselves upon the floor and blame themselves for their Wicked, Evil, King-Upseting Ways and you can't even TELL if your being played here.

It's like being bullied by house elves. Or Miette.

Your parents are too excited by all the New Research (at least the reveal went well?) To SAVE THEIR SON, and your sister is HELPING THE ENEMY (Traitor!), so now you're being bullied into eating vegetables and studying more.

Then? THEN!! WHO SHOWS UP?! Like... five WEEKS late?! The Justice League. Gee! GREAT RESPONSE TIME, GUYS! Reeeal snappy! But ya, JUST missed the guy!

.......YES HES BEING SARCASTIC!!!

@hdgnj @stealingyourbones

[selin-aka-puppydogs68-on-tt]

A HUGE Willtresor analysis— the kiss, my thoughts on their development, why I think their dynamic will change post ep. 120, etc

Oh boy, I fast-passed episode 120 a while ago and this damn ship hasn’t left my mind since 😭

Monty, you really are a loser. Can’t ibuprofen your way out of this one— it’s the end of the line!

The sad reality is Montresor always took Will’s presence as granted; as said before by multiple characters— he always ended up injuring Will in some way, whether it was his feelings or actually just beating the living shit out of him.

Literally any time he purposefully touched Will in episode 119, it hurt Will, even though Montresor was trying to “protect” him, he’s literally the reason Will has blood coming out of his mouth (I’m pretty sure the impact of Montresor hitting Will’s chest when he told him to stay back caused some sort of internal bleeding). And now, he’s panicking; you can tell from the crazed look in his eyes. He’s frantically trying to convince Will to get up but deep down I think he knew there was no hope. He’s more so trying to desperately console himself that he won’t fuck up something again like he always does.

Something’s changed— he’s noticeably more gentle now than he ever was before. Look at the way he holds onto Will’s robe, it’s almost like he’s trying to put it back on, like he’s trying to repair his mistakes.

Behold, Mont-don’t-fucking-touch-me-quit-bootlicking-me-tresor crashing out over the only time Will refuses one of his orders. What’s wrong? I thought you wanted him to stop boot-licking you 😗 bipolar much?

Montresor lashes out at everyone and tbh I think it’s from how he was raised. Ever since he was born he was literally deemed blasphemous. He got a ridiculous amount of attention from everyone around him and was constantly shunned for his actions, so I’m guessing he eventually succumbed to becoming the monster the church claimed he would be. Makes sense, why would he show sympathy towards anyone when nobody bothered showing any to him? But Will was different, he knew growing up that he could never be someone who mattered. NOBODY paid attention to him. I know people will reduce Will’s attraction to stronger men as “omg cute twink!1!” but really, insecure people are drawn towards people who they deem are confident figures that can provide stability to their lives, sort of like an anchor.

Do I think Monty’s actually confident? Lol no. I think both Will and Montresor hate themselves in a way— Will believes his self-worth depends on pleasing others while Monty believes that he’s already far beyond any form of redemption, so he’s kind of embraced being an awful person while Will’s dream is to just improve himself in a way he never could while alive.

Montresor lashes out at everyone because it provides some form of stimulation for him, it makes him feel better about himself— if the church labeled him as a monster, then hell yeah he’s gonna be one and scare the living shit out of them like they did to him. He isn’t sympathetic towards anyone and doesn’t expect anyone to be sympathetic towards him back. Yet here is Will, who STILL stuck with him after being violently beat and impaled twice, dying in his arms. I don’t think Monty can wrap his head around why anyone would do this and for the first time in his life he actually feels guilty for something.

Montresor doesn’t immediately shove Will off of himself, he lets Will grab onto his jacket collar probably because he thinks Will is going to use it to haul himself back onto his feet…except he actually kisses him, much to Montresor’s surprise LMAOOO

I didn’t notice this when I first read the chapter but Montresor puts Will’s robe back on before pushing him away— unlike episode 119, he actually tries not to injure Will further and avoids touching the shoulder with the bite wound; he uses the robe to safely pull Will off him.

He tried fixing him— the robe is on properly now.

The robe falls right off Will’s shoulder again. Montresor’s efforts ended in vain.

If this doesn’t prove the “Montresor never cared about Will” people wrong idk what will. We’ve never seen another circular speech bubble with the scribbly lines (hoarse/about to cry voice?) from Montresor besides maybe the church episode. He definitely didn’t give two shits at the start but now everything’s changed. We went from “you really are good for nothing” to “you did good, Will”. AAAAH!

Not only did Will die, he died doing something Montresor did NOT expect— idk if Montresor has actually even touched a religious text in quite a while since he doesn’t remember how to pray, but homosexuality was possibly discussed in the cult he grew up in. Even though Monty’s canonically an atheist, he literally swears in Jesus’ name when Will kisses him, he has a whole cross necklace under his uniform too; that religious trauma will never leave him, and Will kissing him only further cemented the fact that he is a sinner; the only person who’s actually compatible with him is a man. I also like how it’s fine when he sleeps with a gazillion women but when a man kisses him he starts tweaking— not really historically wrong if you consider that being gay was labeled as a major sin AND a mental issue in both Will and Monty’s respective time periods. Anyways cue closeted bisexual losing it lmao

Annnd I’ve reached the max image count but the scene where Will literally MELTS?? Straight (gay) nightmare fuel for Monty…left all by (bi) himself (“you’re not funny OP!” everyone says in unison while throwing tomatoes at me, yeah okay I’ll stop) Imo Montresor absolutely forgot about those clones, I bet he thought he was truly going insane and hearing Will’s voice in his head…but hey here’s right next to him and…perfectly fine? damn.

Anyways Will reaches for Montresor, but instead of Monty pushing him away, he instead turns the other way and knocks the crutches out of Will’s hand— he doesn’t hurt Will, he hurts himself by rejecting a mobility aid. Also Will just ignoring the huge bloodstain on the wall and floor right next to his slipper??? WTF??? Why the hell didn’t he say anything about it? Also, we’ve never seen other clones bleed like this before. I wonder if this remaining Will is actually a clone, but since he survived and real Will didn’t, he became real Will now, so the OG melted into wax.

In previous chapters while Will is talking to Montresor, he constantly has this crazed look in his eyes. Will’s eyes are greyish-blue but you can’t even tell in most scenes because they look so black and small all the time from him being so nervous while talking to Monty, like the toothbrush scene and also Will suddenly becoming religious out of nowhere and telling Monty he’s gonna pray after seeing that Monty wears a cross, then completely doing a 360 and agreeing when Monty shares his beliefs as an atheist. Will’s big fat crush was so obvious tbh.

Annnd now Monty is the nervous one. We see one of the first scenes where Will’s eyes are normal sized and blue. Personally? I think Will is actually going to grow a backbone this time and realize Montresor didn’t treat him well. Clone or not, a part of Will just died, and it the most sensitive and vulnerable part that had feelings for Montresor.

I feel like they’re going to (somewhat?) flip their dynamic, it’s definitely going to be hella awkward between them since only Monty remembers the kiss (…and also Will’s dead corpse melting into the floor while reeking of blood, but uhhh yk 😅), I feel like Montresor will be more nervous now while Will will gain confidence. Lenore said it herself, Monty is always scared. I want to see what happens without his mask.

Anyways thanks for coming to my deranged willtresor essay (is it obvious I have audhd), keep writing fanfics (no, not the gooner NSFW willtresor AO3 fanfics…I’ve already found multiple…I SEE Y’ALL—) and uhhh stay strong willtresor nation 🤑🙏

[inotakumagf]

day trip

✶ sylus qin x non-mc!reader

word count ✺ 1.7K

summary ✺ you lose your kidnapping virginity to Onychinus....kind of.

warning ✺ kidnapping, allusions to human trafficking, mild violence. just a short drabble today <3 reader is not mc, but is fem in this

──────────𝜗𝜚──────────

“You ever been to the N109 Zone?”

You would respond, but the duct tape over your mouth kind of makes it impossible. The man who had kidnapped you isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he did manage to snatch you up from under your parents’ heavily guarded care, so you’ll give him that. You just wish he had used something other than duct tape, because it’s really going to hurt when it comes off. Do cloth gags not exist in the kidnapping scene anymore?

He continues talking, as if you’re not even there. “It's a scary place, especially for a weak thing like you. You’ll get to meet the man in charge, lucky you.”

You glare at him and try to say a few choice words that your mother would clutch her pearls over, but it’s muffled by the duct tape. He glances at you from the car’s rear view mirror, grinning at your failed attempt at speaking.

“Or should I say lucky me? It’s not every day you make millions selling a doll like you to the Onychinus leader. What do you think he’s going to do to you, huh? I heard he’s a ruthless, violent man. You better watch your attitude before we get to his base.”

You falter. What kind of kidnapping is this? You’d thought maybe it had to do with your affluent parents, who are exactly the kind of rich people who would get themselves wrapped up in Onychinus’s web. But Onychinus deals in selling people now? Is this what your life has come to? How mortifying.

Your dumb-as-rock kidnapper parks the car in front of a tall mansion with large, arched windows. He steps out, slamming the door behind him. In the few seconds you have alone, you try to think of how you can get out of this, but it’s no use. What are you going to do, in the heart of the N109 Zone? Your door is yanked open, and you can only kick at your kidnapper desperately.

He backhands you in frustration and growls, “Behave. Or it will get worse for you.”

He drags you along to the massive front door. He hesitates, before using the knocker. He steps behind you, and you give him a look. Seriously? You’re offended that this is your first kidnapping. A flutter from above catches your attention, and you watch the glint of a crow disappear into an open window above. The door in front of you creaks open ominously, inviting you in silently. Oh, why the hell not.

Your kidnapper doesn’t look eager to enter the lion’s den, so you roll your eyes and breeze through the door.

“Now wait a minute!” He says, grabbing your shoulder harshly. “Not so fast. There’s nowhere to run.”

How this man managed to successfully kidnap you is beyond comprehensible. The door slams shut, causing the both of you to jump. You turn to see two figures standing side-by-side. They have identical masks with long, pointed beaks, which only adds to the bizarre atmosphere. 

Your kidnapper lifts his chin. “I have something your boss is going to want.”

You straighten as the one of the two figures turns their head to you, tilting it slightly like a real crow. The other watches the man, walking circles around him.

Finally, one of them speaks up, “Boss is waiting for you.”

They usher you to their “boss”, and if you could guess, the voice under the mask sounds like a younger boy. You didn’t know that the Onychinus leader hired people so young. Not that it’s your concern.

You’re used to your lavish lifestyle, but the decor in this house is on an entirely different level of wealth. You can’t help but admire the halls you pass through. If you weren’t heading for your doom, you’d compliment the Onychinus leader’s taste in art and decor. You’re led to a door at the end of a hall, and you barely have a moment to compose yourself before one of the two figures pushes it open, walking in without fear for who stands behind the door. The second figure follows behind you, maybe to make sure you don’t try to run. Your eyes drag along the interior, taking in the rich furniture and the dark aesthetic that continues from the rest of the house. Finally, your eyes land on the man of the hour. His back is to you, but you can see his broad shoulders and silver hair.

The leader of Onychinus.

You’re frozen as you take in every detail that you can see of him. Your kidnapper pushes you forward, which only causes you to lose your balance, since your hands are bound together.

You only have a split second of fear flashing in your heart when one of the figures catches you before you can trip. His touch is gentle, in contrast to the reality of why you’re being sold to Onychinus. You tug your arm away from him and continue the walk towards your doom alone. The masked boys and your kidnapper follow beside you, but it feels like it’s just you and the Onychinus head in the room. 

You stop right in front of him. He’s still facing the window, as if he has not a care in the world. Your kidnapper clears his throat and says, “I brought this for you.”

His hand clamps over your shoulder as he brings you a few steps closer. You jerk your shoulder roughly to try to shake him off, but it’s no use. He squeezes your shoulder, as if reminding you of his earlier threat. 

The silver-haired man turns towards you and…wow. This is entirely the wrong time to be checking him out, but you have to wonder why the rumors never mentioned that the Onychinus leader is so handsome. His crimson eyes take in the sight of you, and you can only shift uncomfortably at his intense gaze. When your eyes meet, you expect to shrivel under his terrifying gaze. But he just looks at you and…he smiles. It’s a softer smile too, like the two of you are in on a joke. You blink rapidly and shift your gaze away. 

This is ridiculous. Your mother would faint in disbelief if she knew that you were not only kidnapped, but shrinking back in fear too, like a wet kitten. You straighten your shoulders and shake off your kidnapper’s hand. 

The Onychinus leader turns to your kidnapper. “What exactly are you talking about?”

Your kidnapper stumbles over a response. “Well, she’s the daughter of the wealthiest man in Linkon City. I-I thought you would want her as a prize, or as blackmail against her…”

The man trails off as the Onychinus leader stares down at him with an unamused look. The silver-haired man doesn’t respond immediately, and you can see the way his jaw tightens.

Finally, he turns to the masked boys and says, “Luke, Kieran. If you’ll leave us to…chat.”

In synchrony that must be practiced, the boys say cheerily, “Yes, Boss!”

Sweat collects on your brow. You take a micro step back as the Onychinus head approaches you. But he just gives you another slight smile and a dip of his head before turning towards your kidnapper. His face shifts so suddenly now that he’s in front of the other man.

You can hear the anger in his voice as he says, “Onychinus does not deal in the business of trafficking innocent civilians, least of all young women who don't deserve to be treated in the harsh ways that you see fit. If you were any smarter, you would not have come here.”

The man’s smile drops when he realizes that he’s not getting a cut of your ransom and also that he’s seemed to really piss off the most powerful man in the N109 Zone. He backs up. “I didn’t mean…She…I was just trying to–”

He cuts himself off, giving up on trying to explain himself and going straight to running away. He shoves you aside and turns towards the door. He gets as far as yanking it open, but it slams shut by the force of powerful tendrils of energy.

The Onychinus leader steps slowly towards the cornered man. “Let your stupidity serve as an example for others.”

He extends his hand, allowing his evol to consume the man within a storm of deep red energy. One second, the man is squirming in front of you, and in the next he is just…gone. Once the Onychinus leader is finished with your kidnapper, he turns to you.

With expert hands, he unknots the rope that rubs raw against your wrists. He massages the skin gently before lifting the back of your right hand to his soft lips. His breath tickles your skin as he murmurs, “I apologize, miss, for your rough treatment. If you’ll allow me, I would like to make it up to you by giving you an experiential tour of the N109 Zone.”

At your silence, he glances up quizzically, only to soften when he remembers the whole duct tape situation. “Of course, how could I forget? I haven’t yet heard the voice of the angel that has graced my home with her presence.”

You roll your eyes at his exaggerated and flowery words. He’s really laying it on thick, isn’t he? He guides you towards a cushioned loveseat. For a minute, he’s gone, and you wonder if you can sneak out of this place. But again, you have no idea how to get around this place, and you’re sure that he can find you easily if he wants to.

He returns with a bowl of water, a towelette, and a bottle of oil. You hold your breath as he sits beside you, inches away from you. He lifts the wet towel to your face and whispers, “May I?”

It takes a moment for you to stop staring at him, and even then, you barely manage a nod. He smiles and starts to massage the towel against your covered mouth. Using the warm water and oil, he loosens the adhesive enough that it peels off without irritating your skin. He runs the warm towelette over your lips one last time, eyes flickering between your soft lips and your eyes.

He stands off the sofa, bowing before you with a hand extended towards you in invitation,

“My name is Sylus, and I hope that I may improve your impression of the N109 Zone.”

You scoff. “You’re ridiculous.”

But there’s no hiding the grin that spreads across your face as you take his hand.

[girlyassumes]

“I’ll keep my manifestations small.”

Okay but…you don’t have to. No one aside from yourself is keeping you from going higher and drastically changing your life. If you want to become a famous singer, you can. If you want to date a celebrity, you can. If you want to get 1,000s of dollars a day, you can. Nothing is impossible.

And, let me be clear, this isn’t me saying you should be manifesting big, crazy changes. If you are comfortable and happy manifesting an SP you already know, having a job near you, etc, then keep doing that. Do what makes you happy. What I’m saying is you can manifest bigger things if that’s what you’re going for. If you want something drastically different than what you have or are experiencing in your current reality, you are very much capable of changing that and I encourage you to do so. Don’t you dare think that you can’t and end up settling for less than what you want.

Why do we downplay ourselves?

There’s a lot of people have ambitious goals and either 1) work their ass off to get it or 2) end up settling for something less. Why does this happen? Because we’re told you have to work hard to be rewarded with big things, and if you don’t, “life’s not fair” - you have to go with what feels easier to get or just quit. If a dream or goal seems too “unrealistic,” we’re told to let it go and do something else. This has always felt wrong to me and now I know why it has.

You can work your ass off to try and get it, but that alone doesn't fully guarantee that you'll get it. You also put yourself at risk of burning yourself out, which tends to happen a lot with people who push themselves. Affirming that you already have what you desire is most important. You don't have to do anything strenuous to get what you want. Can giving yourself a push help? Sure. What I'm saying that you shouldn't feel the need to force things to happen. Forcing things can actually slow down and create hardships in manifesting, believe it or not. So, I don't recommend doing that. The only time you really need to take action is if you feel that sense of inspired action or divine guidance.

Speaking from personal experience, the fear of change and not getting what you want is also something that can keep us from going above and beyond. We get so comfortable with where we're at that we don't want to be bothered to change that. I've been a very cautious person my whole life and have told myself on many occasions, "I'm a simple person. I don't need much." But, I would be lying to everyone - myself included - if I said I didn't want more and haven't wondered if the grass is truly greener on the other side. I live a very simple, comfy life. And that's not to say my life is bad or I'm "doing it all wrong," but I feel like I'm worth more and could be doing more for myself, especially since I'm starting to feel bored. I realized I'm chasing that feeling of excitement because I'm tired of the monotony. Now that I know I can get whatever it is that I want, I've started questioning what I've been manifesting, and me questioning that is what's stopping me from getting some of the manifestations I've been wishing for. My brain is like, "You can do more." My sister reflects the part of me that craves excitement (she clubs, she travels, she goes to concerts, she's told me to "think bigger"). TLDR: I've been settling out of the fear of change and doubting it's possible to get the "bigger" manifestations. Don't do that to yourself, too.

[This thing] doesn't seem possible

Referring to my last section, you don't have to take action to achieve your goals/manifestations, which may seem crazy and you may be questioning how it's possible to get things without doing anything. But, it is very much possible for desires and opportunities to land in your lap effortlessly. It's happened many times for many people and there's a first time for everything. I'll give some examples.

Taylor Tookes was not well-known for quite some time. She dreamed of being a model but was encouraged to be an influencer because her being a super model on magazine covers didn't seem possible at first. Taylor is only 5'1" and she had very little experience in the world of fashion and modeling. But, Taylor - someone who wasn't a big name or experienced individual - got recognized by famous models and modeling agencies rather quickly. It didn't matter that she was shorter and had very little experience. Taylor simply didn't give up on herself and affirmed that she'd be on the cover of famous magazines (she even wrote a whole list), which is what got her a career in modeling. She even got the confidence to walk into callings that specified they only want women who are 5'9" or 5"10 and she still got the gigs. Taylor even became leader of a group called "Height Revolution" that creates inclusion for petite women in the modeling industry who don't meet the typical height standards. Taylor made herself the first well-known short/petite model in the industry.

Bobbie, who runs the account House of Highbrations, was someone who was known for being unreliable and made poor decisions. She opens up on her YouTube channel about how she never used to show up for herself, let alone for anyone else. After improving her self concept and affirming what she wanted through things like meditation and scripting, she became a very well-known coach in the LOA community with a ton of money. She lives in a luxurious villa now. She got it even through wavering, simply because she kept writing about the ideal place she wanted. After only about a couple weeks, she had a friend suddenly reach out to her and tell her about a villa she found in the spot Bobbie wanted to move to, which is where she ended up moving.

Also think about the businesses and random people who suddenly blew up on social media (ie. TikTok) overnight just for one video or image they put out that went viral. One simple thing can change your life in an instant. It's already been proven to be possible.

[This thing] would be more difficult and take more time to manifest

Nope. Unless you keep saying this is the truth, then it will be your truth. It will take time and it will be hard for you because you're telling yourself that it is. If you affirm that it is easy and that you already have the manifestation(s), then it is easy and you do have it. It's manifesting the positive vs manifesting the negative.

We also tend to put our desires on a pedestal and certain things are easy to view as "big" changes. I'm not saying it's not wrong to be passionate about what you're manifesting (that's a good thing), I'm saying we need to stop seeing it as something that's hard to get, something too good for us, or something that's unobtainable. Taking the manifestations off a pedestal and putting yourself on a pedestal is what you want to be doing. Tell yourself that you are worthy of your desires and your dream life. Tell yourself you're so good - you have them already. You don't even have to fully believe that this is true, you just have to tell your subconscious that it is what's true. Your subconscious isn't running on feeling - it's producing what you feed/tell it. Sammy Ingram has made the analogy that it's like a printer: You send a file to the printer, it processes it and produces it out into the physical world.

Your subconscious doesn't register an SP you already know as someone who's easier to get than a celebrity SP who has no clue who you are. If you keep telling it that you're with Taylor Swift, then it makes her come into your life to be your girlfriend because that's what you told it. It's that simple. Your subconscious believes that what you say is what's true and makes it so.

I also want to refer to something Bobbie (House of Highbrations) said in one of her recent videos. Think about how much society values money - it's very high up there. It's become such a massive importance in our lives. We're conditioned to value money and put it on a high pedestal. But, what if we conditioned our brains differently? Bobbie tells a story about an ex she had who acted as if money meant nothing - it's just a part of life; something he can rake in with ease. Because he took money off that high pedestal and sees it as something that's easy to get, he rakes it in like it's nothing. He'd invest in stocks and the stocks would raise without him having to do a thing. He'd just start getting all this money. So, it doesn't matter if other people tell you money is this big thing that's hard to get. If you tell your subconscious it's not a big deal and it's easy to get, then you will get it with ease. And obviously because it's already something that's high value in society, then you're still able to buy everything you want with that money even though it's not on a high pedestal for you.

If this is so easy to do and LOA is real, then why do so many people not have what they want?

Going back to what I wrote in "Why do we downplay ourselves," we're conditioned to believe we have to work hard to get what we want and that some of our desires aren't possible to get, plus some of us are just scared to change and feel doubtful. There's also a lot of people who never learn about LOA and EIYPO or don't understand it. That is why people don't have everything they desire. When we're too hard on ourselves and have really negative views of our reality, this can have a massive impact on what happens in our lives.

Now, don't be mean to yourself and say, "Why haven't I tried this sooner or gotten what I want sooner?" Rewiring our minds isn't always easy to do when just about everyone has been conditioned to believe life is hard and certain things are impossible. I know for me, this has been almost 30 years of not knowing about LOA and just now, I'm understanding that I can do whatever my heart desires. Of course it's not a cake walk when it's been that many years of being told, "Life's not fair - get used to it."

Conclusion

Train your mind to not be intimidated. Nothing you desire is "too big." You are limitless and you do NOT have to settle for less than what you want. Get yourself to understand this and relieve stress.

[badscienceman]

I saw someone ask what "I hope this hurts" means beyond the obvious, and I started to respond only for it to turn into an essay... Because I don't feel like dumping something so long in some unsuspecting person's notifs, I'm just going to post it here instead.

I started writing this after playing the game, but ended up watching a playthrough because I couldn't remember exactly where "I hope this hurts" was repeated. I think I caught the only few times it was mentioned, but I wouldn't be surprised if I missed something, so feel free to correct me on that or anything else I might have gotten wrong.

Spoilers for the full game and CWs for everything you would expect from discussing Mouthwashing apply.

Edited 10/16/2024 for clarity and some minor issues with formatting. I added sections in hopes of making it more readable, as well as a few more screenshots that I hope will support my points better. *Indicates where I made potentially significant additions to my original analysis.

Part One: Jimmy

Jimmy is someone who has a delicate ego. This means that he's very concerned with how he's perceived by those around him. We see this in how he responds to Curly and the news of the company's closure, which he takes it as a personal attack in spite of it very clearly having nothing to do with him on a personal level.

For people like Jimmy, a threat to one's image (whether it's a matter of their perception of themselves or, maybe worse, the perception others have of them) brings intense emotional pain. Even though it's clear that Curly meant no personal offense, and likely saw more good in Jimmy than was actually there, Jimmy sees this as a great threat to his own image, and thus identity.

To be clear, it's not just that Jimmy thinks Curly is looking down on him. It's also that Jimmy needs his role in the company to maintain his image, and he needs to eventually become captain. This is his ultimate goal because the respect and control that someone like Curly has, in Jimmy's mind, is tied to the title he possesses. And Jimmy wants that. He wants respect, he wants to be listened to, he wants power over others. (This is also why Swansea's final speech is so important, in relation to the belief that if one just reaches this next goal, they might feel a little more human, a little more in control, a little more fulfilled, but as Swansea shows us, that's just not the case. And it's true for Jimmy, too. Jimmy isn't magically fulfilled by obtaining the title of captain.)

But in the beginning, Jimmy has yet to realize that just getting the role of captain won't magically make him a man who is respected, or even a man who is truly in control. He sees no opportunities for himself on earth. The only option is to stay in this company and become a little lord of his own ship... and suddenly that's ripped out from under him. He will never reach the goal he's been chasing for all of this time.

Anya telling him about her pregnancy is the final push he needs to go over the edge.

Part Two: Captain

Returning to the initial reveal that the company is shutting down for a second, I think it's important to keep in mind a few things:

1. The importance of the title of captain in Jimmy's mind.

2. How this extends to his perception of Curly, him being the current captain.

3. Jimmy's self-centeredness preventing him from understanding the feelings and perceptions of those around him.

When Curly says what he does, Jimmy immediately jumps to the conclusion that Curly sees himself as above everyone else (and most importantly, as above Jimmy), to the point of considering them "dirt." I don't think Jimmy is just projecting his greatest fear (being seen as lesser) onto Curly. I think he's projecting his own perceptions.

He's placed all of this importance on the title of captain, and thus Curly. The captain is above Jimmy. Jimmy is beneath him, is lesser. And we know how Jimmy treats those he sees as lesser (first Anya, and then the rest of the crew once he's captain, *manipulating Daisuke into putting his life at risk because Daisuke, who is just an intern after all, just isn't important to Jimmy being an example).

I think this is a fair reading because Jimmy does something similar with Swansea when he insists that Swansea is keeping the last cryostasis pod for himself. I understand some might say that this is just Jimmy's attempt to manipulate Daisuke and Jimmy doesn't actually believe it, which is a fair interpretation, but I sincerely think he believes what he's saying in this instance. And I think that because Jimmy sees selfishness as common sense. It's what he would do were he in Swansea's position, and what makes him giving the pod to Curly significant.

Part Three: Anya

So, Jimmy is already hurt and panicking. He sees his chance at power and thus fulfillment slipping away. And then Anya tells him that she's pregnant.

Anya, who he has shown time and time again that he thinks little of.

Anya, who he clearly sees as beneath him.

Any mention of the pregnancy, no matter how gently it was worded, would immediately feel like a threat to him on multiple levels. And not only that, but a threat from someone lesser than him. His image, his status, his control, his power—it's already slipping from his fingertips. *It's happening right then, in that moment. It's not just a potential future where he's held accountable in a real way (maybe if Anya involved authorities, or if Jimmy was legally responsible for supporting a child once they returned to earth). It's happening now, because his image is crumbling.

For this reason, I believe I hope this hurts to be directed at anyone and everyone that he sees as "threatening" him.

Anya and Curly have made him hurt. He wants to make them hurt.

He doesn't care about Daisuke and Swansea. If anything, he's so caught up in himself and this contorted vision of reality, I wouldn't be shocked if he convinced himself in the moment that they, too, were looking down on him for some reason. (See again, "I know what everyone is thinking. The way they look at me." Obviously this is said in the midst of his spiral, after the crash, but I wouldn't doubt the paranoia was there before that moment.)

He wants to make them hurt as they've hurt him. He may also want to make himself hurt in order to vent out his emotional pain. If not, death may simply be the easiest way to escape pain and the threat the future holds in his mind.

*Part Four: Without the Guilt

In addition to all of this, I think crashing the ship (making them hurt) is his vision of what Curly has done or is doing to him. This is how he "leave(s) the dirt behind."

To understand this, I'm going to include the birthday conversation and the conversation between Jimmy and Curly about crashing the ship.

Jimmy: ... So I guess you got what you wanted. Without the guilt. Curly: Jim... If I had known... Jimmy: I can go back to my, how'd you put it? "Struggle of a life?" Jimmy: Anya never got into medical school because she's... well, let's be real. Jimmy: And how many employment years Swansea got left in him? Jimmy: Daisuke will be fine, mommy and daddy have him covered. So there's that at least. Jimmy: But you. Headed for bigger and better, right? Curly: I'm just... I'm just working on my life being a place I don't have to fucking escape! That's what I was trying to tell you, nothing mor- Jimmy: We're the ones you're trying to escape! Leave the dirt behind now that your boots are clean! Curly: That's not what I meant. Jimmy: It is what you meant. Jimmy: You just couldn't frame it to yourself in a way that kept you as the hero. Jimmy: Abandon the crew but remain the model captain.

To me, this is one of the most important and revealing sections of the game. Jimmy is not only projecting onto Curly, he's telling us exactly what he's going to go on to do (or attempt to do) when he becomes captain.

In addition to this, we see his manipulation on full display as he twists Curly's words and won't allow him even a moment to truly speak beyond a few lines he manages to get in between Jimmy's ranting.

That's not to mention we see the beginning of yet another pattern in Jimmy's behavior: getting a person to admit their weakness, then using it against them and/or using it to hurt them (he does this with Daisuke, for example, when he hears Daisuke's fears/desire for approval and proceeds to use it to get Daisuke in the vent). Here, Curly speaks about feeling trapped. Jimmy will soon trap him in a crashed ship just as much as he traps him in his own body, which Jimmy will proceed to drug. But I'll return to that.

Curly: Jim. I can fix this. Jimmy: What do you think will happen when we get back? Hm? Curly: We can figure all of this out. You and me. Take care of it. Kills ninety nine percent. Jimmy: All I ever hear is how great of a leader you are. God, it's so annoying. Jimmy: But, now... What do you think will happen now when we get back? Curly: We'll fix this together. Jimmy: Everything you and I worked for in our lives. Accomplishments, changes. Jimmy: None of it will matter. Curly: You've gotten through difficult situations before. This time won't be any different. Work through it, one day at a time. Jimmy: It's not just me, is it? Jimmy: You were supposed to be the one who had everything under control. You said so yourself. Jimmy: The ship, this crew, everything that happened here... Jimmy: This was your responsibility, Captain. Jimmy: That is what you'll be hearing the rest of your life. Take responsibility. Jimmy: Or this can all be remembered as a tragedy. Jimmy: Despite what must have been the best efforts of its acclaimed captain. Jimmy: The Tulpar crew was never found. Jimmy: No one survived to tell the tale. Take responsibility. Jimmy: You're standing at the top. Jimmy: Feet in cement. Jimmy: I get it now. Right? Curly: ... Curly: ... Right.

This is an important moment, because aside from the scene in which Jimmy is approaching Curly while he's on fire, it's the only other time that I can recall the game separating from their perspectives to allow us to see them both, standing together.

We see a flash of Take care of it. Kills ninety nine percent. Jimmy begins to pull away. Another flash. He continues to draw back. Another. He turns towards the cockpit.

Jimmy sees through Curly. He sees Curly's worst where Curly sees only Jimmy's best, and he's more that willing to use that against Curly.

He sees a man who is not going to do what's hard. He sees a man who is going to try to "fix it" only in the most superficial sense. A man who confuses the appearance of cohesion and peace with the reality of it. Someone who sees the rocking of the boat as a manifestation of taking action against a wrong rather than the wrong itself.

In the end, it seems they're both ruled by appearances. And Jimmy will soon rip appearances in every sense from Curly's fingertips. He will make him hurt. He will get his revenge. He'll turn Curly into the villain, taking away his title, his respect, and his very face.

For daring to look down on him, Jimmy will turn Curly into dust.

But I think these words—I hope it hurts—come back to haunt him.

Part Five: The Eye as a Mirror

Like I said, I went back to try to find each time the phrase is used. There's the beginning, of course, but then there's the pregnancy sequence, for lack of a better name.

When the Polle monstrosity emerges from the giant uterus (?), we see these words:

In this sequence, we see a lot of different images and concepts connected: Anya's pregnancy and thus her sexual assault by Jimmy are tied to Polle and the company. The emergence of the Polle monster from the giant uterus (and the idea of the removal of the pregnancy) is tied to the mouthwash, as it's an act of "cleansing." This is all then tied to the phrase I hope this hurts.

Unless I missed something, these are the only two moments when the phrase is used: When Jimmy crashes the ship, and when he's experiencing this hallucination.

All clean! Really gets rid of that bad taste in your mouth, huh? Through wreckage! Through silence! Wash it away! All day fire fresh!

"Clean" is important immediately. "Leave the dirt behind you now that your boots are clean," Jimmy says. Because in this accusation is Jimmy's actual intentions himself. He wants to rise above others and clean himself from their filth. Now, he wants to clean himself of his sins.

I think "Really gets rid of that bad taste in your mouth" is mocking him. A direct challenge to the thought that he could ever truly be "cleaned," at least in the ways he's so desperately trying to go about it. *Not to mention how this connects to the mouthwash, as it might get that 99%, but there's always going to be 1% left.

"Through wreckage" obviously refers to the wrecking of the ship, but also of their lives. All by Jimmy. Though I wouldn't doubt in his mind it connects to the wreckage of consequences (ie. Anya's pregnancy resulting from Jimmy's actions).

"Through silence" I feel connects back to Jimmy's attempts to keep everything quiet, both literally and figuratively.

"Wash it away" also has a mocking edge, as if stressing the foolishness of Jimmy's attempts to treat these very serious events as if it's all just "dirt" he can wipe off.

Finally, we see "All day fire fresh!" This line stresses the connection to the mouthwash, of course. It also calls to mind the concept of cleansing by fire. Important considering Curly.

And after each, I hope it hurts. Jimmy's statement of pure, childish rage. His desperate desire to make others hurt as he hurts. To lash out, to get revenge. To have control until the very end.

This is also why Polle haunts him. Because he, as a man desperate for control, will always be under the thumb of the company even with that title of captain. That hurts him. And maybe the closest thing to ever recognizing the evil he's done to Anya is envisioning it as similar to the company's control, but even that feels like a mockery because he's so horrifically incapable of seeing her as a human being that she's been reduced to her womb. That's what he's really afraid of, in the end, and the fear feels like something else is in control. It makes the organ feel giant, larger than him, capable of hurting him.

When I was watching the playthrough, I thought that there was going to be four or five "I hope it hurts." I thought it would represent each person Jimmy hurts, or all of them, because he hurts himself too. When the sixth came, I thought so much for that theory. But then, I thought about it and there's the fetus. That makes six.

So, I hope this hurts means "I want to hurt you the way I've been hurt. The way you've hurt me." It's Jimmy saying that if his life has been wrecked, he'll wreck yours. It's Jimmy saying he'll shut you up. It's Jimmy saying he'll burn everything down if it means he can maintain control, or even just the illusion of it.

Part Six: Pain

But I think there's another side to this. Like some of the other lines I said feel are mocking him, I think I hope this hurts turns against Jimmy, especially here. And more than that, pain (and by extension, pain medication) plays a massive role in the game, after all. So I hope this hurts feels as if it haunts every moment where it's involved.

Jimmy says this the first time he gives Curly his pills. Pain is how we know we're still living.

The pills are clearly connected to death from the start. If "pain is how we know we're still living" then pain is connected to life and freedom from it is connected to death. That's saying nothing of Anya's use of the pills to kill herself. I think this connects back to the crash, as well. If life is pain, death is an escape from it.

I think it's also significant that the act of swallowing the pain pills is in and of itself painful.

The pills that are meant to take the pain away become a method of torturing Curly. It's a way to make him hurt, and to exert control over him. Even something that should take away his suffering is just an extension of it.

At one point, Jimmy says "Once these are out, we'll have nothing to keep him quiet." In this sense, the pain pills are meant to suppress, not to heal (Through silence!). They're supposed to shut Curly up and keep him from expressing his anguish in the only way he has left (the noises that disturb Jimmy's sleep).

Others have compared this, or Curly's state, to how Anya has been forced to bottle up her own suffering. Jimmy is keeping them both quiet, or at least attempting to. The ultimate form of keeping them quiet would be to, of course, kill them all.

The pills can also be seen as an attempt to hide or conceal the hurt that has been caused rather than to actually heal. In this way, they're like the mouthwash: something that's not really helping, just covering up an issue (and thus making it worse). And the mouthwash represents Jimmy's attempts to "fix" things. He doesn't actually want to make things right, because that would mean taking accountability. He wants to protect his own ego by "fixing" things in a mimicry of Curly "fixing" things in which he wants to create a sense of "rightness" without actually adressing what (or who) has been wronged. Jimmy can't stand to look at himself, because he would see that he really is constructed of his worst moments, or at least, that's what I suspect he would see.

Conclusion

Considering all of this, I hope this hurts can then become a mantra about living in spite of everything. I hope this hurts means "I hope I'm alive in the end. I hope we're all alive in the end." It could mean "I hope I'm allowed to hurt, because I am hurt, and the harm that's been done to me must be seen rather than suppressed and hidden." It could mean "You can't keep me quiet. You can't ignore or hide what you've done to me."

Maybe most of all, I think it means I hope you reap what you sow. When it's turned back on Jimmy, when it's almost mocking or haunting him, it becomes in part about his emotional weakness. About his inability to look at himself and his reality without experiencing the pain of humiliation. I don't think he ever experiences half of the pain he's inflicted on those around him. Still, he has to deal with the fact that his attempt to hurt others instead of facing himself has caused him more pain rather than taken it away as he'd hoped.

And I think that's why he suddenly decides to make Curly a "hero" instead of a "villain." There's a tipping point where he's pushed into a corner. The pain is too much. He hasn't confronted his own actions in any real way, but he's done enough that he can't stand to save himself anymore. It hurts too badly to live with what he's done. It sends him into another stage of fantasy/delusion. The only thing left to do is what he intended to from the start: kill himself to escape and damn Curly to a slow death. Because to go on living in spite of the pain would be the right thing to do, in a sense. To live in the hell of his own creation. To face what he's done. But instead, he'll entrust those heroics to Curly.

This feels barely coherent in the end, so I might come back in a few days and say wow what the fuck was I talking about? But hopefully there's something here that captures some truth. Again, please feel free to correct me if I'm misremembering anything or if I missed something.

[im-not-a-ghost]

Things about you that turn them on and other kinky stuff (18+)

Minors do not interact.

Group 1

Imagine, Just the present moment counts, Dopamine ? Dopa-go, Drama free, The Warrior, Compassion, The Sage, Movement

For this group, I am getting Scorpio, Taurus, Aries and Sagittarius energy. One thing that turns them on is your spontaneous nature. You seem to be the type of person that acts first and thinks later. They also like your creative side. These are qualities that they imagine you also use in an intimate setting. This person thinks that these aspects of your personality are beneficial to your sexuality, because it enables for fun and stress free interactions. They also get turned on by your curiosity, your boldness, your ambition. They like the fact that you do not give in easily. To this person, you're a challenge that they would love to win over. You're a free spirit. You like to learn and explore. You're not afraid of trying new things, voicing out your opinions, telling people off when they cross the line. Because of that, they feel like they've met their match. I'm hearing "is somebody gonna match my freak" and I feel like this person feels positive that you would rise up to the challenge. They get turned on by a person that resists them, leads them to question themselves and push beyond their own limits. They also like your brains. They are likely sapiosexual and get turned on by the way you talk, the knowledge you have. They love your maturity. If you happen to be older than them, bonus points for you. If not, you may catch their eye even more if you are knowledgeable about something they're interested into, if you have goals and passions you are working hard on.

If you're a sports enthusiast, they definitely appreciate that and enjoy looking at your body. When it comes to physical traits, they find you incredibly sensual. Regardless of your body type or your gender, they definitely get turned on by your physique. You seem to be their type physically or you look like you would compliment them well in bed. They like that you are very giving and empathetic. They could have a breeding kink or fantasize about conceiving a child. They may view you as someone that is naturally sensual because of who you are as a person. Specifically, they may consider you to be more attractive because of your differences. So if you come from a different culture, if you have a very different lifestyle and personality, they are more likely to get turned on by you. Your independance and uniqueness are the main reasons why they would be attracted to you and the more you cultivate that, the more they'll fall for you.

When it comes to their kinks, you got the 8 of pentacles, 2 of pentacles, knight of cups. They could fantasize about having intercourse in a work setting. They enjoy having to work hard or making you work hard for their attention. They definitely could be into orgasm denial. They may fantasize about having an affair at work, juggling between their private life and your connection. They imagine getting drunk with you then going down on you, maybe going to dinner before hand to create a romantic atmosphere. They imagine how their body fluids would look on your body. Eye contact plays a role in their kinks as well. They may enjoy seeing their partner's eyes get a bit glossy because of how good they feel. They could imagine you whimpering, fantasize about you crying because of overstimulation. They also fantasize about healing you and helping you relax after work by having sex with them.

Group 2

I'm not okay, guilt free, let's be crazy, treat yourself eat whatever you want, the explorer rx, the revolutionary, reflect, get curious

With all these food references, I wouldn't be surprised if this person's main kink is oral. They may fantasize about using food in the bedroom or having intercourse in the kitchen. When it comes to things about you that turn them on, they like your self indulgence. They get turned on by the fact that you value yourself a lot and don't pay attention to people's opinion. You just do what you like and have fun, take as much pleasure as you can. You just enjoy life at the fullest and they love that. They love to see you eating. They get turned on by your facial expressions and your mouth. They probably imagine it on their body parts. They also get turned on by your innocence and your emotions in general. They like that you are such an open book. They think it's cute and tempting. Especially if you are younger than them. They love your body. Especially your navel area and below, your back, your ass. They love looking into your eyes and they get turned on when your eyes sparkle or look lost. They love when you pout. They get turned on by your passion and your childlike enthusiasm about the simple things in life. They get turned on by how similar you are. They like to see your reflection in mirrors. They like to look at your pictures, especially if that is something you don't do often. You seem to be someone very shy and reserved however your bold side tends to show more when you're around them, which is something they are very fond of. They love your sense of humor and your quirky side.

They definitely think about eating you out, especially if you’ve been feeling a little down lately. This person wants to help you forget about your troubles by giving in to temptation with you. They get turned on when they see you being free and letting go of the need to control, showing your true nature without fear of judgment. When you are being unhinged and confident, honest about your feelings and desires, unashamed of your choices. If you’ve talked about sex with this person, they definitely admire how easily you can talk about such subjects despite being shy or reserved. It’s like, they expect you to be this sweet innocent soul that is clueless about what is going on but you turn out to be a fierce and cunning individual. Wolf in sheep’s clothing I hear. They love your duality. This is definitely something that gets them going. They think it adds a little extra spice to the mix. They get excited even more because they know they are probably the only person that can see that side of you.

When it comes to their kinks you got 3 of pentacles, High Priestess and Hermit. If you're a religious person, they fantasize about having sex with you before commitment. Similarily to group 1, they may fantasize about having an affair in a work setting. They fantasize about isolating themselves and keeping you to themselves, keeping your connection private. For some of you, this person could be influential, have some sort of public presence. Most of their fantasies happen at night time. Just imagining how your body looks like is their biggest kink and fantasy. I feel like many of you could be very modest or struggle with your body image. I feel like for many of you, you probably never had any sexual interaction with this person in particular. So they don't know what to expect and they spend a lot of time imagining how your first time could be. They have a thing for butt cheeks.

Group 3

I deserve abundance, It's not the end just the beginning, I don't care about being perfect, spread the love, Take risk, Self love, Get creative, Withdraw

They really love how well you take care of yourself and prioritize your needs. This person is attracted to your looks of course but mostly to your personality because you are fierce and independant. You're very outspoken and strong minded, you have strong boundaries and respect yourself a lot. You take care of your body, possibly work out a lot, you pamper yourself and pay attention to your image. But you also nurture your mind and soul. There is a joyful innocence to you that touches this person's soul. They love your perseverance, your genuine care for people. They get turned on by the complexity of your being, the level of audacity and strength that you have. It is very simple : you do not need this person. And because of that, they find you a hundred times more attractive. You are very aware of your seductive power and use it wisely. You know when to push and pull and you do so with so much grace that this person can't help but to be hypnotized by you. They love your curves, especially your hips. They also get turned on because of your sense of fashion. They find that the way you dress is aesthetically pleasing and very well planned. You seem to be quite straight forward and proactive when it comes to relationships and sexuality. This daring side is also very attractive in their eyes. Your energy feels a little similar to group 2 but the difference seems to be in the fact that they get to see your bold side a bit more than your vulnerable side. You're like a sheep in wolf's clothing. This person is aware that your rough side can be a bit of a façade, which they find endearing. They like that you confront them and are smart enough to keep your distances, to clearly express your limits. They know that you are smart and can see through them. They admire those qualities. There's a little foxy vibe to your attitude that they think is quite charming, refreshing.

When it comes to their kinks you got Queen of pentacles, Death and The Star. My oh my are they kinky. This person has the heaviest energy when it comes to sex. They are the most likely to be interested in BDSM. The imagery on the cards tells me that breeding and conceiving a child are heavily on their mind. They also have a voyeurism kink. They like to watch but they also like to be watched. This person could enjoy taking pictures and videos to save for later. They definitely enjoy watching their partner touching themselves. They’re into body fluids as well. They could enjoy choking. They’re very physical. Touch is very important to them. They would tease a lot, grab a lot. They can fantasise about spanking you, biting you. Spoiling you before and after they go down on you. This person has power dynamic kinks and is likely to worship their partner in bed. I feel though like they enjoy being in a position of power more than they enjoy being on the receiving end.

[todayisdeadinside]

"they're not being forced to do anything, this is just their job now and they stunt willingly!" are you fucking stupid.

rant incoming, strap in folks.

ive seen a shocking amount of longtime larries lately downplaying the severity of harry and louis' situations, acting as though their signals and codes are "coincidences," and pushing the idea that harry and louis have full control over their PR moves when that has never once been the case in the past 15 goddamn years. and its not just disappointing, its frustrating. where has everyone's critical thinking gone? what changed?

you all talk about how much holivia damaged harry's public image and compare holivia to mcdumblinson, but then in the same breath act like louis is choosing to stunt with zara. is the cognitive dissonance that thick? or are you all now suggesting harry willingly participated in holivia? both of those potential options concern me, frankly.

we can all agree zara is actively damaging louis' public image, right? so, why on earth would louis be stunting with her of his own free will? are you suggesting he's that stupid? because hes not. louis is incredibly intelligent and to pretend hes stupid enough to continue pushing this stunt when its clearly not helping him is insulting.

but i know what question will be begged: "they're multi-millionaires! they're grown men now! dont you think they have the money and freedom now to do what they want?" if that was the case, there wouldnt be anymore stunting. ever. money does not equate to freedom, nor does age. has everyone suddenly forgotten the kinds of contracts these men are under? the professionals they are stuck working for?

in terms of pure financials, yes, they probably could buy out of their contracts. and where would that leave them? blacklisted from the biggest companies in the industry, smeared in retaliation by the media those companies own, and honestly? their lives could be at stake. think of how many incredibly famous artists have died for political reasons or because they challenged the agencies that own them. this isnt to fearmonger, this is to bring up PRECEDENT. precedent you all seem to have willfully forgotten.

but even on top of all that, are we forgetting that these boys have been groomed since they were 16-18? jeff azoff has been scouting harry since 2013, and hes only one example of the terrible people these men have been surrounded by since they were teenagers. harry and louis have never escaped sony. when they respectively escaped syco, they both signed to other labels sony owns. harry has been signed to columbia (and the azoffs) since 2016, and louis has been signed to his companies and labels since 2020 when syco music dissolved. which makes me beg my own question- what the fuck do you all think has changed? in the past 5-9 years (respectively) what do you posit has changed to give harry and louis this freedom youre all claiming they have? theyre still closeted. theyre still being forced to stunt. theyre still being forced to surround themselves with shitty people.

louis looks beyond uncomfortable in every photo with zara. he is clearly not doing this willingly. harry is a genuinely good person, hes not willingly hanging around the likes of KID HARPOON, who GROPED HIM AT THE 2023 GRAMMYS. or did we all forget that? i think we did. zara is from love island, a show louis HATES. shes the type of person he never associates with normally. the azoffs are RIFE with controversy that could make its own fucking masterpost. if you think our harry and louis, two very smart, very kind, very intentional men, are WILLINGLY surrounding themselves with these types of people, you are biting the media koolaid and HELPING THE PROPAGANDA SPREAD.

AND ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT, i want to REITERATE that these two men have been lied to and coerced and groomed since they were teens. that means, in case none of you have ever been in abusive dynamics with authority, that they likely dont know all of their escape options. firstly, their options for escape are few and far between, and at absolute BEST would end their careers and turn them into GP punching bags because of the smear campaigns that would follow any pushback or contract buyouts. secondly, the professionals and lawyers theyve been surrounded with for the past 15 years are all cogs in the industry music machine. even back on TXF we know their lawyers were paid off by syco to push them in the desired direction with what they signed. that was just one reality tv show, and its a microcosm of the industry at large. not only do they have limited options, they dont even know what all of those options are. its not like their abusive managements are gonna tell them how to leave. thats not how this works.

but again, even if they had access to all of their options, even if they had access to unbiased legal advisors, even if they wanted to end their careers- they wouldnt escape without being hurt in some major way. im not talking out of my ass here. look at other cases of major celebrities who have left their labels or publically denounced the industry. look into major artists who have mysteriously died. hell, look into the p. diddy case and the people he put hits out on. open your fucking eyes and look at the precedent you older fans were AROUND FOR. i wasnt even HERE, and i can see it.

my last point is anecdotal, but stick with me here. when you are a victim of an abusive authority figure- in HL's case, the entire industry full of abusive CEOs and managers- for as long as they have (15 years, mind), it becomes less scary to stick to whats familiar. they know its bad, they clearly hate stunting and being closeted, but its a familiar fire to burn in. i know that feeling. i spent 17 years under an abusive authority figure and during the brief windows where i thought i could feasibly get out, i was too scared and far too conditioned to try. taking a stab at HL, id guess this is where theyre at. maybe they could, in some lucky way if everything were to align, escape and minimize the harm they suffer from it. but theyve been conditioned against trying, conditioned against believing in that possibility, and conditioned to go along with what theyre told.

so again i ask, what do you all think changed? why do you think harry and louis are suddenly free to do as they please, after all these years, when theyre still signed to the same companies and still showing signs of distress? when theyre still coding their clothes as a subtle cry for help- which, by the way, never stopped. why on earth did everyone up and decide they stopped coding their clothing? because 1 popular larrie blog said it, and the rest of you parroted it like gospel? was a real reason ever given for that spontainious conclusion, or are you all just reverting back to the comfort of willful ignorance and slurping up the media slop?

nothing has changed with their situations. a lot of you just seem to have stopped fighting for them. its easier to be complacent, to only care about when new music is coming, to not worry about harry and louis as people. to not worry about supporting them and making sure they know that some of us pay attention and know their truth. some of you are losing those tenents, and its upsetting to watch as a newer larrie who has all the conviction in the world to fight for these boys and show them that they are supported.

the attitude ive seen from some of the older larries on here lately is akin to what id expect from the GP, or solos, but not larries. you are all smarter than this and you damn well know it. the downplaying and disregarding of things like louis' plead for our support, the coded clothing, the subtle hints that theyre still being controlled, is actively helping their managers and PR teams sell narratives like mcdumblinson. through your complacency, saying everything is "just a coincidence" or "the boys' choice," you are aiding the enemy in their pursuit.

this fandom has lost enough voices. i dont want to watch the remaining prominant voices turn into blind sheep and merge with the GP. thats the last thing HL need right now, in such an age of ignorance and finding comfort in participating in a lie. do better, reopen your eyes that i know must have been open at some point for you to become larries. not for some random tumblr user, but for harry and louis. they need all the support they can get right now.

[chillian-murphy]

🍆CHARACTERS REACTING TO FINDING YOUR ONLYFANS/OTHER NUDES🍆

Tommy and Kitten were around way before the internet so I tried to write them as finding their eras' equivalents but believe it or not it's kinda hard to find historical info on people self-distributing erotic material of themselves so. Yeah. Also general warning for Jackson and Jonathan being weirdos who don't understand boundaries, as usual.

TOMMY SHELBY 

*When you posed topless for extra cash, you were assured that the photos wouldn't be distributed anywhere near Birmingham and that your anonymity would be maintained 

*What you weren't counting on, however, was local gangster Tommy Shelby making frequent trips to London and perusing the latest illicit erotic material, both for business and pleasure

*It took him a while to recognize you as he flipped through the photo cards of you and another young woman cheekily feeling each other's breasts, but once he realized you lived in Birmingham, he quickly pocketed the photos.

*He contemplated using the photos to blackmail you on his drive home, but realized that it you probably didn't have enough money to make it worthwhile. 

*The photos remained hidden aware in his desk, largely forgotten except for days when he catches you running errands around town or on especially lonely nights

*On one such night after too much stress and too much gin, he found himself drafting a note to be delivered to you

*”I greatly enjoyed your work in London. Let me know if you’d like to make some real money." 

JACKSON RIPPNER 

*He finds your OnlyFans while doing routine research for his next job

*He's not surprised that you're doing online sex work, you’ve been under significant financial stress lately and need every extra penny you can scrounge up.

*In fact, your money woes were the vulnerable point that made you an attractive target for his work

*There was nothing particularly unique about the content you made, mostly pictures taken using a mirror or videos of you rubbing yourself, complete with exaggerated porno moans

*Still, Jackson’s dick couldn't help but twitch when he thought about how desperate you must be to do this, you're clearly in over your head and have no idea what you're doing beyond “I think this is what girls in porn do." 

*He's incredibly tempted to send you requests for increasingly degrading acts, attached to tips that would be far too large for you to turn down, just to see how far he can push you, but no, he needs you broke and desperate for his upcoming plans to work.

*He slams his laptop shut and gets back to planning the minutiae of running into you “by chance" and bribing you into handing over your work credentials. “See you soon, whore." 

JONATHAN CRANE

*Nobody could deny the sparks between you. After all, why else would you smile as you rang him up for his coffee every morning?

*You even had your own little pet name for him, “Joe-Nathan", which you wrote on his cup.

*So really, engaging in some light cyberstalking was just him playing along with what you started.

*His heart dropped when you saw your profile, even though it was under a different name than the one on your name tag, it was undeniably you, bearing yourself to anyone who was willing to pay $10 a month for a subscription.

*How much of his tip money was going towards the lingerie that you were shamelessly rolling around in for the camera

*As much as Jonathan wants to get mad, he tells himself that he needs to make a mature, rational decision. Instead, he shall merely get petty.

*He leaves several comments and small tips, all signed as Joe-Nathan.

*He can't wait to see you bright and early for his morning coffee tomorrow.

ROBERT FISCHER 

*Truth be told, Robert doesn't look at much porn. If he wants to see someone naked, he can use either his money or his status to have someone in his bed within the hour.

*However, when security notified him of suspicious activity on the company wifi, he was urged to look into it himself.

*It was you and another low level employee, uploading videos of yourselves fucking in increasingly recognizable rooms within a Fischer-Marrow building, starting with bathrooms and supply closets, all the way up to offices and conference rooms with the company logo in plain view.

*Robert knew the expected, professional response would be to fire you both, possibly get legal involved, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn't had his own dalliances in that same conference room.

*”Thank you for notifying me. I’ll look into this further and make sure appropriate measures are taken," he gave with his most reassuring faux-concerned frown as he shooed his security officers out of the room and shouted for his assistant to clear his schedule for the next few hours.

*Once he was sure he was alone, he began perusing the videos you’ve made, palming himself through his pants

*After coming to a particularly titillating video of you being eaten out in one of the glass elevators, he sends you and your partner a $1,000 tip

*”Glad to see my employees are hard at work." 

NEIL LEWIS

*You and Neil had talked about how hard it is making a living as small business owners, but he hadn't quite figured out what you meant by “I have a back-up gig" until he was falling down another pornography rabbit hole and saw your page

*Holy shit are you topless? 

*He hasn't been able to stop thinking about your boobs since the day you came into Gumshoe wearing a sundress and no bra. 

*Well now he's gotta check and see if there's more

*THERE'S MORE

*He's liking pictures left and right, not worrying about you knowing it's him because he uses a fake name on porn sites

*...except he does use the Gumshoe business email address

*shitshitshitshitSHITSHITSHITSHIT

*Now all of China the Downtown Small Business Owners Association knows he's here horny.

*Tips you $100 with the message “SORRY”

KITTEN BRADEN

*Out of everyone, she's the least surprised to see you selling photos of yourself. After all, you met working at the peep show.

*She had started watching the other girls during her breaks, both for entertainment and for inspiration 

*After all, there's only so many times you can moan “I want your cock soooo bad" to a hole in the wall before going a little insane from boredom.

*She became intrigued when she saw you slipping an envelope under the door to a client and getting cash in return, not knowing what it was. Was it drugs? Love letters? Were you blackmailing him?

*You laughed when she tried to interrogate you, clearly wanting a dramatic answer.

*”It's just nudie photos. One of my customers has a darkroom and develops them for me in exchange for getting to keep copies for himself. I sell them to my regulars to help make a little extra on the side.”

*Sure enough, when she ripped open the envelope, it was a tasteful spread of, well, your spread.

*It was a much less dramatic of an answer than she was hoping for, but goddamn if it wasn't kind of genius.

*”Perchance, have you ever considered doing these photos with another girl?”