#that the ‘care’ literally does not exist

[inchidentally]

just me flipping out over landoscar over the past 48hrs :)

ohhh GOODDDDD the way the commentary here is already perfect but just to add!! both shuffle about and seem to do a little of their creepy unspoken communication and then both immediately slip their arms around each other at the same time before they both look over to Max at the same time. bc the slightly scary bonded little McLaren creatures need to remember the rest of the grid exists sometimes ;__;

a-amvryllis

also the fact that Oscar's growth spurt over the winter really is visible when they're stood this close

and yet he's still the same awkward recent-growth-spurts young lad that got delivered to Lando's driver's room last season. he doesn't know what to do in front of cameras and his instinct is still to have Lando dancing and sparkling like the natural star he is so that Oscar can stand just a bit behind and fulfill his own publicity quota by reacting to whatever Lando is getting up to

mecachrome

THE CHEST TAP ohhhh the way that Oscar requires very little physical touch and Lando craves it and they've just… figured it out !! Lando squeezes Oscar's shoulder, taps his arm, initiates a handshake, shuffles back a little bc Oscar's always standing just behind him, snuggles closer to him when they're in cars for the drivers parade and it's remotely cold… and taps Oscar's chest as a 'thank you'

bc for Oscar, he gets his emotional fill through his eyes. while he's perfectly content with most people to do glances and hold eye contact when someone's speaking directly to him. but his eyes l i n g e r where he's especially fond or affectionate or in love. he watches Lily when she's looking at other people, he watched Logan for when he seemed lonely or when they were talking and Logan would stare out at the crowd, and g o ddddddd does he love to watch Lando. you can track his eyes as they trace Lando's features and the way his smile responds to watching Lando's mouth.

yet there's also the way they've learned each other's ways of expressing care/affection/checking in bc Lando can trust that Oscar will be looking to him when something is awkward or unsure, and Oscar can trust that Lando will come to him and let him know how he's feeling aaaaaaand I just think that's !!!

bc no bromance, no cultivating a dynamic or relationship by blending their social lives, no performing in any way. all of their little hallmarks are the most unplanned, unintentional sweet things like the nicknames Lando accidentally started and only continued bc it makes Oscar so happy, to Oscar's hearteyes that he absolutely surely must know fandom teases him about but doesn't bother to change. them being opposites in certain things and then eerily similar in others.

all of it comes back to the way they communicate in ways everyone else has to interpret to understand - and even then it's not like we ever get to see the stuff they think and talk about behind their little privacy door and in the downtime we know they have but that isn't documented. like, I don't want to stretch too far by implying something too intense or specific but there's definitely a Their Own World kind of thing happening. whether or not it's smth they've specifically knowingly cultivated or if it's just naturally how their dynamic shakes out.

bc we all love to joke that Oscar's jealous of Carlos or Daniel or Franco - but then he brings them up on his own in friendly ways and is a very definite carlando! and ppl wanted to make a lot out of Lando openly complaining to an audience that Oscar doesn't like enough of the same thing as him so they don't hang out as much as he does other drivers he knows. but then after that they immediately start playing padel and oh it's okay now! it literally was as simple as Lando not knowing Oscar was up for padel even if golf and regular partying won't be! and that shared activities are not a defining quality of a relationship and Lando said "spends the least time with off track" about Oscar and not "likes the least" or "has the least interest in" lasfgslajgfsalf

and like, I'm always saying how of course they'll have the usual teammate fights or spats or tensions at some point! it happens! Lando is deeply ingratiated into Max V's life socially - moreso than anyone else on the grid with Lando - but they're ever so slightly on ice at the moment bc they're too similar when it comes to competitiveness. but they'll be back to normal when the season - or the WDC race - is done and finished. and nobody likes to document it for good reason but Carlos and Lando have had plenty of challenging moments and many a 'see?? we're fine!!' golf excursions or fan service videos to smooth an issue over (including the worst gifs of all time that I can't find anymore where Lando straight up looked murderous). and then ofc the "I don't feel sorry for him" Lando/Daniel DTS stuff that caused such a fandom headache. and Oscar's always had a very simple, on track the job is to win unless instructed otherwise and then off the track we interact as people not drivers. so it's fully normal to expect situations where they're not happy w each other and it shows! but it hasn't yet and that's honestly kind of weird!! esp when they don't have the big broey type of friendship that Lando's had with his other two teammates - you'd honestly expect him to feel more at ease in showing it when he's pissed off with Oscar bc there's nothing to keep up for fandom/PR sake and no messiness with shared friend groups etc to worry about. but he's cultivated an exceptionally and very pointed approach of This Is My Team and My Job/I'm Established, He Is Not Yet/I'm The Experienced One where he sees the team unity as especially important for him to publicly present and assert. like, for all he hated the idea of being the older one and no longer baby brother, he's responded to Low Maintenance Watchful Oscar in the long run as someone's he needs to take care of and whose place in the team is partly his own responsibility. he's not just one of the drivers, he's The Guy at McLaren and Oscar's extremely painful induction into the team and F1 with basically the whole world praying for his downfall was so vastly opposite to his own gradual and loving introduction that it's clear he's taking their disparities into account. a LOT. this moment being a prime example of him correcting fans because of that. and probably also an uncomfortable awareness of the segment of his own fandom who are able to inflict a special kind of hell on anyone they view as not 100% serving Lando, the object of their unhinged obsession and bias.

like, it's a side note I'll prob never be able to go too deeply into for just that reason^^ but this viewing Lando as a permanent victim whose every good deed is seen as Not Necessary and ignoring the huge differences in position within this sport and within McLaren between him and Oscar - and simply slotting Oscar into a space Carlos and Daniel held - totally undermines Lando's real life growth as a man who does understand that disparity and does appreciate that Oscar inhabits a space totally his own and nothing to do with his older, experienced teammates - and also a man who is saying and doing these things about teamwork and appreciation for Oscar in a way that responds to those differences while not remotely expecting Oscar to mimic or parrot it back because they're not equals in the sport or with the team (which makes logical sense !!) and they're not what Lando was with Carlos or Daniel. and in all the insanity I feel like this coddling, constantly pitying and victimized approach that still hearkens back to Lando being The Baby on the team - completely fails to show him appreciation for who he actually has become and what he actually does and says that is so specifically commendable and shows such growth and strength that is so admirable. the constant expectation that he's saying and doing these things in any way that expects Oscar to copy or mirror him - when their positions could not be more different or imbalanced !!!! - and ignoring the way Lando actually doesn't expect that and that he receives gratitude and appreciation from Oscar in a way that is unique to Oscar bc everyone is different !! by viewing Lando as always perfection and never in the wrong and any good deed being automatically greater than anyone else's good deed, he is cut off from authentic appreciation and praise of the individual real life complex person he actually is and that such flat, default levels of adoration will ring meaningless to him compared to people who can objectively give him praise him as objectively as they see his flaws !! and that's why Max F is his lifelong best friend above all others ! anyway !!!!!

and like. idk. part of me feels a suspicion that this private little world Lando and Oscar have - that they cultivated around the time they decided to pull a lot of their relationship off of social media and not use it for PR (apart from the bog standard team media) - is also them wisely deciding to keep their negotiation of this new front runner craziness entirely to themselves. bc of course things aren't all sunshine and roses between them all the time, but what's clear is how mutually and maturely they've approached each new bout of drama. especially considering they're so young and everyone expected that to be the downfall to Zak's plot to have two young generational talents. and EVERY time it would make perfect sense for them to snipe at each other through the press or be caught feeling cold toward each other - or someone strategically edits or crops media to make it look so - they're huddled together somewhere giggling or playing board games or sharing junk food ;__; the brain rot of stan culture threatens to destroy fandom experience for everyone else but meanwhile the objects of their obsession are sharing a conspiratorial look and grinning at each other.

like… Netflix AND an F1 reporter have quite literally goaded and begged for them to fight and hate each other and each time Oscar boldly steps forward with that cool expression and undermines the effort, with Lando literally cheering him on <3 <3

[kevindavidday]

i love that neil considers jean as part of the family he wants to protect. i will elaborate this time because

if you think about it, neil spent book 1 trying his best not to build a connection, book 2 trying to break down the walls ending with confirming from nicky if they were friends, and every second after that deliberately doing whatever was in his goddamn power to keep these people safe and happy. going to edens for andrew, keeping the truth from them, getting the letter back for kevin, reminding kevin that he owes jean a conversation after all that's happened, fixing the twins' relationship, spending time with them even though he knew he would leave. in his mind, what he was doing was selfish because he was going to die soon and they didn't even know it.

he doesn't die, though and he comes back with even MORE fight in him than before. he meets his uncle once and although his mother hadn't wanted him to be involved in one gang after another, he doesn't give a single flying fuck. the hatford's existence is just another resource for him, a way to hurt those who have hurt his family. stuart already killed his father, so what's it matter if there's a few more - protecting him means protecting his family. if the fbi had any clue about the power neil actually holds over the hatford's they would all willingly eat their hats tbh.

so the first thing he does when he sees his uncle again? despite knowing that ichirou is close-by? he tells him to kill proust.

hell, even the moriyama's are nothing to this man if i'm being honest. he isn't afraid of them, he knew the rarity of ichirou's visits which made him wary when he got into the car to talk about bargaining their lives and i truly do believe ichirou moriyama was fucking relieved neil didn't ask for more than that. there is that strange, dead look in his eyes that he's inherited from his father which unnerves the fuck out of everyone who doesn't know him. and when he bargained for his life and kevin's, he remembered jean too.

which is fucking insane. he spent only winter break with jean moreau, ONLY. i know there's extra days at the nest, but i'd kill to know what happened between jean and neil during that time for neil to have such unflinching loyalty towards his 'forever partner'. i want to know their conversations, i want to know what they suffered through together.

and the casual way in which jean dropped the news about grayson to neil, after hiding it away from everyone for so long. he admitted the truth to neil straight up, like of course neil should know, it's neil. jean's mind is still haywired to remember him too even though they were only together for a few weeks!!!

what is it about them?

and then the entire time otw to the diner, neil's plotting again. he's scheming. he's thinking. and he knows what to do. and its asking for local work because fuck anyone who has ever hurt his family. he literally only ever needs a fucking name, bro. 'my first memories are of people dying.' i think we can tell...

wymack saw that leadership potential and made him vice captain. god bless neil only cares about playing exy because if he had even a second more interest in crime he would've floored everyone. i can see it so clearly.

anyway, hope he takes a hit out on tetsuji moriyama next 🙏

[woofs-silly-ships]

Oh. Oh holy hell

HEAVY WARNING FOR THE HAZBIN LEAKS. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT BE MAD AT ME IF YOU WILLINGLY CLICK ON THIS AND GET SPOILED.

Tw: Mentions of Poison/Angel Dust’s abuse, Aphobia (from Viv and Hazbin, not me. Frick Aphobes or any kind of queerphobe /srs)

This is almost certainly real and that makes me

I think I feel worse than when the Poison leaks happened

And that was bad

Yet I think this might be worse… because at least some survivors do relate to and find comfort in Poison and Angel as a whole. At least people knew he was suffering from and dealing with this abuse. This… people couldn’t have seen this coming.

Alastor and Rosie’s relationship was one of the few actually well written ones in this freaking show. And they just screwed it the hell up

Alastor being owned by/selling his soul to Lilith made so much sense. Of course Lilith would care about his child’s dream, of course she would hide him away in heaven after a (likely) bad fight with Vox, of course if he was in heaven nobody could find him, of course he’d be so fearful of the literal Queen of hell.

If Alastor is owned by Rosie, why the hell would he actually be genuinely comfortable around her as shown in season one? Rosie wouldn’t give a shit about the hotel as well, I’m sorry but like huh??? She has 0 relation to the founders or guests besides Al??? Also there’s no freaking way that Rosie would be able to hide Alastor IN HELL FOR 7 FREAKING YEARS AND AVOID ALL DETECTION. If Vox’s cameras didn’t catch him in a HEAVILY POPULATED TOWN, there’s literally no way some random diner didn’t catch a glimpse of him or something??? And Al is probably on the level below Rosie power wise, there’s no way he wouldn’t have rebelled at some point, even if he lost???

But yeah, I’m beating around the bush here. Elephant in the room time.

The whole song and animation and everything leans WAYYYY too into the aspect of Alastor being Rosie’s pet, and that creeps me out so much. Because it again feels fetishized. Way too reminiscent of pet play and such, which I already don’t like on its own but I’m not getting into that. I wouldn’t even have an issue with it if

1. Rosie was portrayed as an actual big bad and not “secretly silly”, same issue as Val

2. ALASTOR WASNT FREAKING ASEXUAL. AND ROSIE WAS LITERALLY THE ONE TO CONFIRM THAT IN CANON (the “ace in the hole” scene was one of my favorites and now it’s ruined for me. Of course.)

I know k!nky asexuals exist and are completely valid and yall are awesome, and I’d be fine seeing that represented if, you know, ALASTOR WASNT SHOWN TO BE FREAKING SEX REPULSED?? HAVE WE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE FREAKING

^^^ THIS???

AND GOING BACK TO WHAT I SAID BEFORE: AT LEAST SURVIVORS WHO RELATE TO ANGEL KNEW THAT HE WAS A VICTIM LONG BEFORE THE RELEASE OF POISON AND S1. MANY FELT BETRAYED BY IT AND THATS VERY VERY VALID, BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN FAR WORSE (as in, Addict could’ve never existed, Angel fans including survivors could’ve had no idea of what he was going through before being thrown into the mess that is Poison). THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO FORESHADOWING OF THIS WITH ALASTOR. IVE SEEN SO MANY ASEXUALS LOVE AND RELATE TO AL AND TAKE WHAT LITTLE REPRESENTATION THEY GET IN STRIDE, AND IM SO SCARED TO SEE THEM DEAL WITH THE FETISHIZATION OF THEIR SEXUALITY. THAT WILL HURT ME MORE THAN WHATEVER THE PLOT DOES. IF YOU ARE ASEXUAL AND RELATE TO AL THEN I AM SO FREAKING SORRY FOR YOU, ESPECIALLY IF THIS ENDS UP HURTING YOU AS MUCH AS IT DOES ME /GEN

ALSO, APPARENTLY VIV IS DOUBLJNG DOWN FROM POISON BECAUSE THERE’S SOME CHEERY UPBEAT AH MUSIC BEING SUNG ABOUT ALASTOR BASICALLY BEING CHAINED AND ABUSED FOR THE MAJORITY OF HIS AFTERLIFE AND ALSO BASICALLY BEING SHOVED INTO A PET-PLAY KINK LIKE THING AS AN UNWILLING AND UNCOMFORTABLE (AND ASEXUAL) PARTICIPANT

Urghhh, I’m sorry I just really needed to get that out. Posting this on my selfship blog since it’s more contained and I have 2 Hazbin f/os anyway

Since I’m here anyway, yeah my Hellaverse AU won’t have any of this crap. Alastor will be owned by either Lilith or Roo, whichever one makes more sense when S2 comes out and we see more of Lilith and see if Roo was scrapped or not. Right now he’s owned by Lilith in the AU and his relationship with Rosie is exactly like in S1: genuine and comfortable. I’m sorry but I’m not letting Vic’s awful plot direction here ruin one of the few good relationships in the show.

And I’m sorry if any of this is exaggerated by accident, I’m just, er, very passionate about minorities being disrespected this badly and this is kinda just me dumping my thoughts and rage into writing /gen

On a small but light note, the other clip is actually really cool!! Makes sense for Heaven to have Goitia as well as Hell, and as long as this bird doesn’t turn out Stolas then I’m pretty happy with this :D

[shutupineedtothink]

AAA final thoughts + praise 🙌🏼

Ok now that I’ve had a few days to sit with the finale and let go of my preconceived ideas of what it should be, yeah it really was brilliant. I still don’t Iove ghost Agatha, but I get it. And now I’m really pulling for Wanda to come back so that she can bring Agatha back (this happens in the comics apparently) and we can do a MCU witch movie. Sign Jac Schaeffer IMMEDIATELY, Feige. Lock her down, we all want more of this shit.

As to where the show ranks overall in the MCU, I feel like at this point it has to be #1. Even above WandaVision, and certainly above Loki, as much as I love both of them. This show just does… more. Like I can’t believe how much they packed into these 9 episodes. This is what… a true six hander? Six fully defined characters with fully developed arcs and satisfying journeys? With the possible exception of Agatha and Billy’s journey not being over yet, which doesn’t take away from their arcs and development along the show. (Again, had to let go of my own theories there.) WandaVision at most had 3… Wanda, Vision, and Monica, and I don’t feel like Vision had much of an arc tbh.

And then all the little witchy horror movie references throughout, the incredible seeding of the Billy’s Road reveal, building up and breaking down the coven, Agatha’s incredible complexity as a character and not being able to neatly put her in any category, hero, villain, anti-hero, whatever. You really can’t pin her down and I don’t think I’ve seen that in the MCU ever. I guess the last character like that was sort of Loki, but he had more of a true redemption arc. Agatha just… exists in the gray at all times. You just never know what she’s gonna do. And it’s amazing.

Then there’s the Ballad and truly weaving that throughout the whole show in such a way that it’s instrumental (pun intended) to the plot… who does that? Plus the amazing score that feels just as present throughout. The only comp I can kind of make is Clara’s theme in DW, but the Ballad is way more intentional throughout.

I can’t possibly go into it all but the sheer amount of setup and pay off is incredible. And yet we leave with more mysteries to solve and more questions to ask, which is also incredible!

Not to mention the production design, the practical effects, costumes, makeup — every visual was stunning.

And I’m not even going to get into AgathaRio (and Nicky) and all the tragic complexity there. I get wanting a happy ending but… also what ever made you think this would be as simple as a happy ending? They are a. Capital S. STORY. They’re practically mythological. Who cares about happily ever after when you can have Epic, Fated, Complex Romance that literally transcends this Earth. Like what more do you want?? That is the top echelon of epic romance. Disconnect the “happy ever after” = “good romance” link in your brain, you know? Judge by complexity and emotionality and dynamic range rather than something as simple and boring as do they end up together or not. They’re so wildly interesting and I’m so glad we could get more of them in the future. (Ok I did get into it oops)

And the humor?? I don’t think I even need to say anything. But what comedic excellence from everyone across the board, with Kathryn Hahn leading the charge of course. And to balance that with the drama without undercutting either of them is not easy, but they all did it flawlessly.

I could go on and on but I just hope this show, and Jac, and Kathryn, and everyone involved gets their flowers for this work of art. There’s just so much love and care and intentionality here. It really feels like a standout not just in the MCU but in contemporary TV in general. Easily my top show of 2024, it’s not even a contest. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[diangelodork]

DBDA nightly analysis #15! (holy shit i can’t believe i’ve been doing this for over two weeks omg)

tonight’s topic is a bit outside of the content within dbda and is more about dbda within the sphere of media we have in the world.

something i realized not long ago and that i spoke about with my amazing psych professor (shout out my prof she’s fucking amazing but i’m not saying her name bc im scared of the internet) is the excessive emphasis that we as a society place on romantic relationships.

i would be willing to argue that love is the main theme of every single piece of media out there. this includes romantic love, yes, but also familial love and platonic love and self-love and a love of your craft and of your hobbies and a love of a concept like power. society is based around love. love is the most powerful motivator in existence.

think of the most popular media you can and i promise you that you can see where love comes into play.

it is also an objective reality that there is a disproportionate amount of media out there that is exclusively about romantic love. romantic love is important for lots of people (not everyone, mind you) and i love a good romance story, but it’s rather unfortunate that all other types of love get pushed to the side so often in favor of highlighting romantic love.

this incredible show, however, isn’t that. there is certainly lots of romance within this show and lots of triangles and circles and pentagons and other shapes in this show, but the main emphasis is friendship and that’s a breath of fresh air in the romance driven world we live in.

charles and edwin are, above all else, best friends. they are each other’s other half and they have been for decades. edwin confesses to charles nearly immediately after he discovers his romantic feelings because of how much he adores charles as a person. he is the most important person to him and he cannot bear hiding something from his other half. he confesses because he loves him as a person. as a friend. as charles. he can’t handle hiding any aspect of himself from his best friend. even when he tells niko that he told the boy he likes that he likes him, he says that he doesn’t like him back, but that they are “better friends because of it.” he cares more about charles knowing him than he needs him in that way. though it would be nice if the love of his life liked him back in the same way, him remaining his best friend is more than enough for edwin. him still loving him is enough for edwin.

charles’ love for edwin as a friend is also exactly what causes him to not immediately rule out a sense of romantic attraction to him. he could've very easily said "i love you, but not in that way," but he doesn't because he owes it to the person he loves more than anything to mull over this. even still, he does profess his love to him right there, only, it’s not romantic. he tells him that nothing would ever destroy their bond and that he's the only person he would ever risk following to literal hell. he tells him that he’s everything and that nothing could change that. he’s his best friend and that means something. it means more than simple romantic/physical attraction does. charles’ dedication and love for edwin is much more important than monty or tck’s attraction to him and him meeting a confession with “i can’t say im in love with you back, but you are the most important person to me,” is so much more impactful than if they had just begun dating right then.

when edwin discovers that monty betrayed them the entire time, his initial reaction is the most hurt "were you just pretending to be my friend?" i have ever heard in my life. he, most out of all the characters, values friendship over everything else.

we also see this when he's being tortured by esther. he's whimpering and shouting, but it's measly compared to the guttural scream he lets out when niko is struck. he cares more about her than he cares about his own pain and suffering.

niko hasn't had friends, as she says in E4 when talking to the shopkeeper. she does now and she's willing to face possible death for them at every turn, a thing that she has professed her fear of. she tells the sprites that she's scared of death, as her father has passed rather recently and she nearly did the episode before this one. literally the episode after she fully gets introduced, she decides to go and face her greatest fear to try and save them. she literally dies jumping in front of crystal and taking the blow for her despite the fact that that’s her greatest fear imaginable.

crystal never really had friends either as she was a selfish and shitty person before she lost her memories. she had people she called her friends, but it was never a healthy relationship as we see through her memories. with charles and edwin and niko, she forms a quick bond and is incredibly loyal to them. she tries to follow edwin, who she doesn't even think likes her very much, to hell and faces her abusive ex to do so.

jenny would do anything for those kids, following crystal to face aforementioned abusive (literal demon) ex and standing up for them wherever else she can despite not knowing a single thing about the supernatural.

niko is probably the first friend tragic mick has. the first person who listens to him and he provides not only intel on how to take esther down, but only genuine and concerned warning for facing such a dangerous witch as esther, as well as a charm that saves niko's life in the long run.

as @spaceraph pointed out, even the night nurse who is someone that clearly does not have many intimate social connections of her own is impacted by (non-romantic) love. she is genuinely touched by kashi’s friendship and it changes her perspective on what she ends up doing with the boys in E7. shes also incredibly emotionally affected when seeing the exchange between charles and edwin in his flashback to his death. she begins crying despite having been rather cold and calculated in all other scenes she is present in. love affects even her.

this show is filled with love and dedication to others, and it's so beautiful to see much more of an emphasis on platonic and interpersonal love vs. strictly caring about the romantic aspect of things. it's rather beautiful and wildly important. it’s held to the highest regard and that is so important to see.

[ko-existing]

https://www.tumblr.com/ko-existing/766133693448372224/httpswwwtumblrcomko-existing7661320713789440?source=share

Ko, please, how do I stop being so desire driven? I’m not asking this as a lesson, but more like a genuine advice from person to person. I’m 100% this is what keeps me from truly seeing the bigger picture.

I tried many times to just let go and not care about outcomes or read the lessons thinking “yeah, this will make me get the things”, but I can’t. Even if I try to convince myself there’s something deep down saying I clearly still only care about the outcomes. It’s tiring not only because it keeps me walking in circles, but also because I experience episodes of pure joy cause “yes, I can get it, it’s easy” and then ones of pure depression thinking “this is bullshit, you’re understanding it all wrong and won’t get anything, deal with it. You’ll never get anything.” It’s always the extremes, you know? 08 or 80.

I tried to simply step back of everything and just move on with the knowledge I’ve got to see if my mind and thought process unfolds naturally and I stop feeling this incessant seeking for finally KNOWING true self instead of seeing as a belief, but I always end up falling on that depression phase and constant need for reassurance that “yes, you’ll get it”, but as you know, it never leads me to nowhere when I’m constantly reading, and asking, and seeking.

You say “step back and ponder” and say that when we encounter the silence it should be enough, but for me somehow is not and it frustrates me because logically should be enough, I mean, I’m literally being left with the nothingness, what else could I possibly need to understand, right?

I just wanna stop feeling limited, trapped and suffering and most importantly, I want to stop being the cause of all of this suffering. But I placed my desires as the ultimate happiness and this constant feeling of separation never goes away. Why is so simply to read and understand “everything is formless”, but when actually “practicing” and applying seems so absurd? God, I’ve been this way this whole year and I’m so sick of it.

To answer genuinely—you're thinking too much.

If you’re feeling caught in this cycle of extreme highs and lows, it might help to try sitting with your thoughts in a more observing way, which can give you a clearer view of what’s driving the whole process. And no, IT IS NOT A NECESSITY. It's a help to watch without getting lost in thoughts but it is NOT A MUST.

I've been on tumblr long enough to know what to expect from other anons reading this like "i thought meditation is not nevessary". No one is saying throw on an orange robe, head off to the himalayan mountains to sit on a rock in a cave, drink Bo cha, chew on Chülen, start fasting and chant " ཨོཾ་མ་ཎི་པདྨེ་ཧཱུྃ" (om mani padme hum) around the clock like it's your monastic lifestyle job.

So, again, I'm not saying this is a necessity or a “must-do”. Meditating, or simply Noticing, can help you see your thoughts without getting so wrapped up in each one—nothing more. There are different options like listening to a guided one or just background music/sounds like rain. I personally like it. So, If it helps, it helps. If it doesn't, see what does.

I've also been on Tumblr long enough to know how quickly people start labeling everything as a “method” or a requirement, so just to be clear again: I’m not saying any of that!

The main thing here is to relax this intense drive for outcomes. You can actually start looking at these desire-driven thoughts as just “passing content”—and yes, this practice can help. When a thought like “I need this outcome to be happy” pops up, instead of believing it automatically, you could take a step back and notice that it’s just a thought arising out of nowhere and passing into nowhere. Watching thoughts like this reminds you they don’t define you and have no reality to them.

Also, see if you can bring your attention back to what’s here without needing to grasp, judge, or chase. Every time you relax that urge for outcome, you’re giving yourself a chance to rest in something that isn’t tied to outcomes at all. " ".

Experience what’s beyond the cycle of “wanting” and “fearing.” Keep it simple, remember it’s a gentle, easy redirection rather than some heavy practice. Never force anything. If you don't want to do it, don't. And never overconsume.

[silvaurum]

yall are clearly having two+ very different conversations. op is correct tho. it is extremely fucking irritating to tell someone 'hey that hurt me' or 'hey that hurts people' and for them to respond 'how dare you say i'm capable of hurting people?!?!'

yeah 'oppressor' is loaded and has moral weight, because oppression holds moral weight, because oppression, the structural force, is bad. and generally people who are trying to say 'hey that hurt me' are not going to call you an oppressor directly, but even if they do, maybe address the hurt first and complain about the exact wording later.

there IS a conversation you could have about language here. 'part of a class that reaps privileges from the existing structure of society, whether they want to have those privileges or not' -> 'part of a class that has structural power over another class, whether they want to or not' -> 'part of a class that oppresses another class' -> 'oppressor class'. these are all equivalent in literal meaning, but feel very different. it gets condensed for efficiency and loses some nuance.

and then yes people are going to react defensively when they feel you've implied they are inherently oppressive and immoral. sure. i wish people would take a deep breath when that happens so they could stop taking statements about our current social positions as an inherent personal fault, because it's all arbitrary, no one chose whether we were born into a class like "in the global north".

the main issue is that it's a pain in the fucking ass to tiptoe around the structure of society and word everything perfectly delicately when I've just been hurt in a very predictable way and am reacting "ow! hey!"

that is also the entire issue with 'guilt' when we talk about oppression. it's not that guilt is a "bad" feeling that you shouldn't feel 🙄. it's that your reaction to your feeling guilty is not always helpful in the specific moment when you're being told you hurt someone. it's fucking irritating to tell someone 'hey that hurt me' and for them to respond 'oh my god im so sorry can i hate myself for you? i'm so terrible let me tell everyone how terrible i am' and take up all the air in the room with a self-hate spiral, so that regardless the original issue of you getting hurt is now minimized.

it's okay to feel guilty, it's totally neutral. it's the actions of public self hatred which turns the focus away from fixing the problem. soothing the feelings of the person who has benefited from an oppressive social structure, even without their consent, still matters… but it should come well after helping the people who are still being hurt by that structure and would like it to be acknowledged.

and thus op. i wish we could collectively stop taking it personally for five seconds when someone says "ow! hey!" so we can say "oh sorry, that was wrong, i'll be more careful".

+ taking the definition of oppressor class from colloquial twitter-ese is silly, man. its not even 'shallow' analysis it's looking at the name of a theory and extrapolating from there. these people think gaslighting is when you disagree about what happened + people who are oppressed talking amongst themselves are not going to word everything in perfectly neutral political theory terms, especially when we're either being hurt or trying to heal from being hurt + 'socialized male' person does not have any serious political analysis to offer, this is just a terf throwing words at the wall + "Oppressors can cry until next week, choke, or burn in hell for all I’ll ever care." this is not directed at you and it is not a literal political stance that anyone genuinely has. this is an expression of frustration. you taking it literally and personally looks ridiculous. this is a hammer car explosion post

lot of people take the idea they might be an oppressor like it's some kind of curse or marks them or makes them fundamentally irredeemable.

this means whenever someone suggests they might have structural power over some group, rather than being normal about it and going "oh yeah i should be mindful of how i act so i don't abuse that," they take it as a personal attack, and either jump to defending themselves by denying it, or start lashing out.

this makes 99.99999% of all conversations on this website completely fucking unbearable.

[yusiyomogi]

you know, i said that kabru's storyline in dunmeshi follows a typical "idealist in materialistic story" trope and doesn't subvert it in any way, but i've changed my mind. i think it goes a little off the beaten path and it's what makes it interesting.

the thing is, stories usually are very unkind to characters like that. so, you're an idealist? how about putting you into the worst situation in your life, make you beg for food and shelter, drag you through the dirt to make you realize the truth of material? but dunmeshi isn't unkind to kabru. yes, it puts him into "the situation", but reality is, it's not unkind to him at all. kabru is interested in people, so what story does is making him see the value of material through his connection to another person.

doesn't mithrun exist in some form of idealistic perfection, where you quite literally don't care anymore about eating or sleeping and only focus on your one goal? when it's only you and the purpose born purely by your mind? isn't it the sort of existence kabru would want in the pursuit of his own goals? since he himself prefers to ignore the material, possibly even sees himself above (beneath) it all? it's interesting that human desires, as it should occur to kabru, are on the edge between material and ideal, it's a part of being human in the first place.

and well, what kabru quickly realizes by spending time with mithrun is that this sort of existence is harsh and cruel and dehumanizing. as much as kabru would like to think otherwise, to have meaning is "to want" and to acknowledge that "want" instead of denying it for greater purpose. and to acknowledge that "want" you need to fully accept your own humanity.

in some sense yes, kabru is forced to confront material, but he's not hurt by the process. he helps a person, makes a friend. he finally has a few good nights of sleep, he eats, he thinks about eating better food. he has a chance to share his memories and culture. he can talk through some of his concerns with the person he has no reason to put his facade for. kabru literally has a slightly stressful vacation and reconsiders a lot of his view in the process. and yeah, as much as i enjoy it when the narrative is cruel to its characters, i loved this a lot.

because dunmeshi is the type of story that wanna be materialistic in the positive sense, not in the negative, the lacking sense. it's not the story about hunger, but about satiation. so, it doesn't show you a process of breaking and isolating someone to bring them down to their humanity, but it heals them and gives them community to accept that humanity as a good thing instead.

[tookishcombeferre]

Cedric for ask game- 1, 12, 14, 25

1. Why do you like this character? Okay. So, ever since I watched Avatar: The Last Airbender, I have been a sucker for a well written redemption arc. However, if I were to get into specifics, I think there's a lot to explore in this character from a literary perspective. He's complicated. Very complicated. His motivations make a lot of sense even if he goes about things in ways that aren't objectively moral. Which, honestly? That is stuff you don't see in children's TV much since Gargoyles or other things from the 90s and early 2000s. He has the backstory and personality of a Shakespearean tragic hero. He reminds me of like if you shoved Macbeth and Hamlet in a blender in the best way possible, and then, somehow, came out with Macduff? IDK how that works, but that's what happened. Secondly, I find him relatable to my literal life. Zuko hit me when I was just a little younger than Zuko's age. I saw Sofia the First, for the first time in earnest, as I approach 30. I am, exactly, the right age to relate to Cedric's personal issues. So, I like him because a lot of the stuff he deals with is the stuff I'm processing in my own life. Aging parents. Trying to repair a difficult relationship with my own dad as we both grow older. Realizing I might not be able to fix everything that's missing there, and trying to walk the line between indifference and cynicism. Check. Trying to form a solid relationship with a/my child and teach them things. (Granted my squish is biological, but still. Check.) Trying to look past my own personal failings to create a better world for my kid and future generations. Check. Trying to look past what people say/ have said about me and others like me to see the intrinsic good in myself despite my nuanced set of identities. Check. Realizing that my kid just existing in my life is what gives me hope to see myself as great. And, maybe, just maybe, that's a lesson I can teach my kid without them having to go through all the crap I've gone through to learn it: we are great because, unmasked, in our fullness, together with others, we are greater than in isolation. So, I like him because it's easy to walk his journey and see some elements of my own life and where I'm at personally. And, you know what? The show does a nice job presenting this struggle. I feel less alone in my own crap when I watch it. I've got a buddy to walk in my adult problems with while my kiddo gets a princess to learn how to be a good person alongside. I LOVE that. It's truly something we both get something out of, which, is, like, SO supremely rare. As a parent, I just cannot express how much I care about that. Bluey might be the only other program I can think of that does "both" as well as Sofia does. Like, I don't know if there are any other fans in this fandom who are parents. But, man ... Cedric hits because *all* of the life stuff he's dealing with is stuff that, like, is so real. Especially the stuff with his parents. Oof. I don't know if any of y'all have had parents age. But, it's a different beast y'all. It makes you think about things, it makes you want to retreat, and it makes you want to fix things - all at the same time. Sorry if that's a lot. But, when we talk about Cedric being an adult, this is what we mean. So, I just kind of fell in love with Cedric's character because in so many ways his story just kept slapping for me from every angle.

[orb-weaving]

Mahiro Kurono, also known as the C-rank Villain "Forthright".

(or, seeing @angie-starz show off their chronohaul fankids prompted me to flesh out Mahiro more in design and personality)

His Villain name is a bit of a pun as opposed to his quirk name like his fathers as "written in blood" is lengthy. So instead forthright, because his quirk causes people to follow through on their actions, and it sounds like "force" and "write."

And then if you want other little bits of trivia;

Mahiro was generally considered a very polite and precocious child. He knew he wouldn't be given recognition just for existing, so from a very young age he's worked on expanding his vocabulary to sound more professional, and strengthening his quirk to be useful.

He's more Hari's kid than Kai's, not out of personal preference but because while both of them were pretty distant, Hari was the only one who tentatively took on a parental role. Kai had pretty much no incentive to even really notice the kid until he formed a personality, just going with the philosophy of "just leave him to his own devices he'll be fine". Among the Shie Hassaikai, even if Mahiro's physical and manneristic resemblance to Kai is too strong for them to assume literally anyone else is his other dad, it's politely accepted to just call him "Kurono's kid."

Nemoto didn't particularly like Mahiro, but as soon as Mahiro was old enough to start using his quirk to help their business endeavors he was typically sent out with Nemoto because their quirks mesh well, and Mahiro approved of Nemoto's disposition for truth. Mahiro doesn't actually see him much like a dad but he doesn't have a better reference point honestly.

He was allowed to interact with Eri to try and give her a "companion" and stop her from trying to run away. They were kind of friends at first but Mahiro eventually got angry at her for the amount of attention she received from his dads, and in turn Eri was frightened, so they were separated again. When he grows older and more rational Mahiro does feel really bad about this and probably seeks her out to apologize. Even at the time he knew it wasn't really her fault he just disliked that they both had mutated quirks but his would never be so useful as hers.

The loss of his leg was probably the first time Mahiro was recognized and sort of cared for by his parents. He was sent out with Nemoto and a few others to help with a negotiation with a dangerous associate, who didn't take kindly to being held to their word, considering it "underhanded". They captured Mahiro on his way back and severed where the message was written, returning him alive as a "warning". Mahiro was carried by Kurono as he'd seen him do for Eri, and Chisaki was utterly pissed off about the whole ordeal, slaughtering the organization for the audacity. It was the first proof to him that his life had meaning to them, which, for a kid raised by three people with various flavors of unyielding irrational devotion, was enough to earn his fealty, even if he does still hold a few things against them.

[lastoneout]

Ngl I had to stop watching the video Rosanna Pansino video about the sexual stuff she reported to the FBI bcs she and DogPack got really focused on the vore like it was a huge deal and super freaky and disgusting when there's like, actual concerning stuff in those messages that they could have focused on instead. Like the problem here ABSOLUTELY isn't the vore. Seemed like DogPack cared a bit more about grossing Pansino out with kinks she didn't understand than he was with actually talking about the underage photos and I guess that makes better content but like...? It's just weird.

And honestly, I get the instinct to make a video like this to expose Mr. Beast and Ava, but it honestly to have Pansino and DogPack just sit there recording themselves going through the messages, plastering blurred out versions of them on screen, SAYING THE NAME OF THE REAL LIVING PERSON ALLEGED TO BE IN THE PHOTO OF A MINOR, and LAUGHING the entire time like it was a reaction video for some unhinged meme page and not a series of messages that contains actual CSM felt extremely fucking gross. It was in extremely poor taste and they never should have made it, they should have taken that shit directly to the appropriate authorities and maybe made a short, SERIOUS video explaining that they found concerning stuff, maybe giving a short, vague explanation of what it was(like just "child exploitation material" and leave it at that), and have reported it. That video does not need to exist, it achieves nothing except making serious shit into a reaction-video style joke and dragging an actual harmless kink into it all to paint the people who practice them as dangerous freaks for literally no reason. There's a time and a place for "omg look what this person did lol" videos and this WAS NOT IT.

I'm glad DogPack has broken the silence on a lot of this stuff but ngl I kinda hate the way he's going about it. Like his first video contains such a massive fatphobic screed scaremongering about getting kids addicted to sugar in the middle that I legit had to stop watching bcs it actually made me feel sick. No one's perfect and this was always gonna get spread by shitty people who do make weird videos about it for clout given the nature of the situation and Mr. Beast being a huge youtuber, but yeah I don't like the way he's gone about this and turning a video about actual CSM into a "lol watch while I explain weird kinks to this vanilla lady while she laughs uncomfortably and implies liking vore makes you a cannibal freak" is gross and exploitative. They're both doing good work and good people can get caught up in the rush of exposing something crazy, we've all been there, but that was too far and imo they absolutely need to take that video down and apologize for making it in the first place.

By the way, here's a quick update on what's been going down on the worst part of the internet this week:

Five days ago, Rosanna Pansino made a video where she opened up a package of Lunchly taken straight off the store shelf (2 months before its expiration date), and found that the cheese was absolutely festering with mould.

Not only is this absolutely disgusting, but, as Pansino points out in her video, they're selling this to kids. The young kids opening up and eating this might not know what mould looks like, and therefore won't recognise this for what it is.

A source associated with MrBeast told Newsweek to "consider the context and the source", essentially accusing Pansino of faking the video. She responded by posting the full unedited video of her opening the box.

And while officially representatives for MrBeast, KSI and Logan Paul declined to comment, two days ago Logan Paul dropped an episode of his podcast guest-starring KSI where they kinda-but-not-really responded to the video/tweets in passing, implying that Pansino was clout-chasing.

But over the past week more people have been posting their own videos of finding mould in Lunchly.

[mxtxfanatic]

Hm, I know I said at least in my first reading of mdzs that I felt like Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng were actually friends as kids, I would like to remind folks that the catastrophic breakdown of their friendship was not because of some misplaced care but because Jiang Cheng is a stagnant character whose whole role in the story is to be the one who never learns, changes, and grows past his insecurities and resentments. They were always going to fall out with each other, even if the Sunshot Campaign never happened, even if the Wen Clan didn’t exist as a subjugating force terrorizing the other clans, because no matter how much Jiang Cheng cares about anyone, he will always place his personal resentments first.

I’m so serious: reread the pre-fall of Lotus Pier parts of the novel (flashback extras included), and tell me how many times Jiang Cheng says something genuinely nice about or to the benefit of Wei Wuxian without prompting. Point to me places where Jiang Cheng puts himself on the line for Wei Wuxian that is not him distracting the Wen. Compare the number of unambiguously positive interactions they have to the number of interactions they have in total, and I bet you’ll see that the positives are laughingly scant. Most every interaction they have together, Jiang Cheng is being a negative nancy. He’s the type of friend who, if you said “Today is a good day!” would snidely respond back, “What’s so good about?” before loudly complaining about what a nuisance your happiness is. Jiang Cheng is the type of friend that tells you that everyone else hates you because you’re so annoying, and you need to do something about that because he also finds you annoying so you should be lucky he “puts up with” you. And all of this negativity can be directly traced back to the resentment Jiang Cheng feels caused by his own mother projecting her insecurities onto him. Jiang Cheng, who cannot grow, learn, or change, is unable to extract his own self from his mother’s insecurities, ending up inheriting them as his own, instead.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like teen!Jiang Cheng is some irredeemable monster (that is reserved for his adult self), but Wei Wuxian already shows signs of being tired of his attitude as kids. He snaps at Jiang Cheng rudeness in the lotus pod seeds extra. He constantly admonishes Jiang Cheng about his blatant disregard for the lives and safety of other people. Most of the time, Wei Wuxian won’t even engage in the petty little remarks that Jiang Cheng makes, just treating it like nobody had spoken at all. The only times Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian move as a unit is when they have a common enemy—like Jin Zixuan—but without that, they are only held together by the fact that…they’ve been friends for a long time.

And this kinda leads me back to the point about the yunmeng friendship not being able to withstand the test of time even without an outside conflict: I would place the point of no return for their relationship at Wei Wuxian killing the xuanwu of slaughter, not at the fall of Lotus Pier. Wei Wuxian is one of two individuals that killed a mythological bloodthirsty creature responsible for hundreds of deaths, spent a week in a coma from his injuries and lack of immediate care, and what does he get for it? Jiang Cheng shows up with soup gifted to Wei Wuxian by Jiang Yanli, except he’s eaten all the meat out of it. Jiang Fengmian gives the most lukewarm praise to Wei Wuxian for his achievements—which Wei Wuxian neither complained about nor called him out for—because they were both trying to be mindful of Jing Cheng’s insecurities, and Jiang Cheng still made it about himself. When Madam Yu storms in to yell about how Wei Wuxian is a “bastard child” and he’s just trying to show off, Jiang Cheng consciously and unambiguously sides with his mother. Wei Wuxian had to drag his feverish body out of bed—after just awakening from a week-long coma—to placate pity-party Jiang Cheng, and the only thing that makes him feel better is not promises of continued friendship but of servitude. Even if at this point Wei Wuxian was still viewing Jiang Cheng as a—admittedly caustic—friend, Jiang Cheng’s view had fully transitioned from “annoying friend my mother hates” to “the servant I need to keep in line lest he overshadows me.” If anything, the fall of Lotus Pier, the debt placed on Wei Wuxian by the Jiang leaders, and the subsequent war probably allowed their friendship to last longer than it naturally would have (remember, they are only united against outside forces).

All this to say that while Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian may have started out as genuine friends in their childhood, their transition to enemies has absolutely nothing to do with that care. Sometimes we fall out with people because we just do not like them as people. Jiang Cheng’s resentment prevented him from appreciating Wei Wuxian as a person, leading to the end of their friendship and their descent into eventual enemies. Not misplaced or warped care, just pure, undeniable resentment.

[serpentface]

Faiza performing the Kagnoma Odo (pretty literally 'lion dance'), a weapons dance and one of the more important ritual duties of Odonii priestesses. A relatively new addition to this traditional dance involves the musket as the primary weapon, which is fired mid-twirl into the ground at the climax of the dance. Faiza is experiencing an 'oh fuck' moment because her shot is more than ideally diagonal, but she’s being so cool with it.

This is a wholly ceremonial performance at the onset of the pilgrimage, performed in full regalia and lion skin (of the small, semi-domesticated strain) but no armor. It’s also distinctly a display of political allegiance between the powerful and beloved Odonii priesthood (and its loyal military) with the increasingly reviled and destabilized imperial family, with Faiza prominently wearing a bracelet of the royal serpent, which was gifted (along with the musket) by the usoma Stavis Amanti himself (Usoma is the Wardi word for king, which has been retained in the context of emperors).

The Kagnoma Odo is the ultimate demonstration of the Odonii as an embodiment of the Lion Face of God and living vessel of military might and sovereignty, demonstrating her fitness and proficiency with weapons and as a spiritual unifier for soldiers. It is accompanied by drumming and occurs in stages, running through the three keymost weapons used in war- the spear, the sword, and the musket. The musket is of the most significance, given the weapon has developed a particular esteem as the ultimate embodiment of might and superiority. Assistants (almost always other priestesses, occasionally high ranking soldiers) load and prime the musket to be fired at the climax of the dance, where it is shot into the ground as the priestess leaps out of range of the shot. The firing signals the end of the dance and the rite itself.

While not the utmost exemplar of trigger discipline, only fully inducted and senior (and therefore very thoroughly trained) Odonii are permitted to perform the dance, and injuries during actual performances are quite rare (though are known to occur during training, more than a few Odonii have burns and wounds on their feet).

The most important renditions of this dance are performed upon declarations of war and before battles (in this case, generally done in full armor along with the lion pelt). It is also done during some trainings (while a dance, it is carefully choreographed to include naturalistic maneuvers of the weapons involved and helps soldiers limber up and learn to move their weapons). It is regarded as an impressive and motivating sight and a morale booster, and, seen at a distance, potentially intimidating to enemies.

A special variant of this dance is performed as means of fully incarnating the Odomache, which is done in full nudity with the body covered in the blood of the freshly sacrificed lion and cloaked in its raw pelt (the lion has become the corpse of Odomache in the moment of death, as part of its recreation of God's sacrifice). Her public, full nude appearance once (and only once) in this act is what allows the Lion Face of God to incarnate within her. Those in attendance see the spiritually vulnerable, naked human body obscured with the sanctified and deified blood and cloaked in the sanctified and deified skin. It is a merger of the contradictions of mortality and divinity, the boundaries between the two indistinct in flickering firelight and the flash of musketfire. She is witnessed by her people, dangling in between humanity and divinity and leading them in dance, and and is thus transformed.

[aroaceleovaldez]

yknow, I am amused that solangelo fanon was so tunnel-vision in like 2014 that in the midst of crawling through literally every time Will had popped up in the series prior, somehow the ONE singular instance of Will referencing something that the fandom did absolutely nothing with was the thing Rick then decided to draw out into being a major character trait for Will.

Like. Nico eats McDonalds once and it becomes a huge fanon thing, but Will references Star Trek and the fandom doesn't make a peep until Rick explicitly canonizes that he's a huge sci fi nerd. and Rick doesn't even keep it consistent! He changes it so Will is a Star Wars nerd instead of Star Trek. smh 😔 /lh

[theknightlywolfe]

Saw some people getting mad at Jenna Ortega for "queerbaiting" and then dating a dude.

1) this was a job. Admittedly a fun looking job (mainly for the Death Becomes Her references) but still a job. And it literally has them fighting over who gets a man. IIRC the whole point of this scene was she thought she was kissing the dude, but per the lyrics it switched to the singer.

2) the Emma Myers stuff she never implied romantic/sexual attraction. She implied besties and kinship but that is just that.

3) bisexuality exists.

4) straight people are allowed to play queer characters. This character explicitly isn't but even if it was, it doesn't matter.

5) who the f cares about a celebrity's relationships? I know this has been a thing forever but I have never understood it beyond "oh hey, this person who does stuff I like is happy and I am happy for them, or oh no they're not I hope things get better". And if it's the "role model" thing there are plenty of others out there.

i’ll only be thinking about this from now on

[byemambo]

JES JESPIPAT AS TYME

4MINUTES (2024) | 1.01

Bonus: ghost ship DenTyme LMAO + making blue Tyme's signature color :) also I was kinda (extremely) kicking my feet making this set because of how charming and breathtakingly handsome Jes is like please look at those gazes