#that tells me something is still missing
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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Maya and Carina sleeping on each other's side of the bed when needing comfort/the other isn't there
BONUS: Carina laying on Maya’s side of the bed holding Maya while they cuddle after having sex for the first time since Carina left their home in season 6
#station 19#station19edit#carina x maya#carina deluca#maya bishop#mine#i love that this was something that became a thing even if we didn't see it that often#and i know danielle and stefania during a live made a whole thing about whose side of the bed was whose#you can't tell me they didn't know because in every other instance they were on their own side of the bed lol#and i don't know if the 6x15 moment was intentional or not but i like to believe it was#since it was still a vulnerable state for carina to be in at the time so for her to be on maya's side of the bed...more feels#missing them lots :(
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Can we pretty please get a Grian and Xelqua meet-up?? I love how you draw Xelqua and Grian and I just need to see what they would do if they meet......for science of course
wait hold on.. goes crazy .. I don’t have a design for Xelqua, that was just Grian earlier, but…. I think it’d go well
I think Xelqua is his patron, so he’d be excited to meet him !
but I was also playing with the idea that Little Grian here is a reincarnated version of Xelqua, but still looks up to him, prays to him, would want to be picked up and hugged by him, the safety of it. (How can he be reincarnated and still have a form here ? Well the divine can be a bit finicky)
#something something abt the first thing little grian says to Xelqua is did you hear me ? When I thanked you for the food !#<- Aether showed him how to pray before meals#ask#my art#Xelqua#sketching#Late night doodle of them . Yawnssss#Also something something abt Grian being a reincarnated Xelqua and the two angels having to take care of him#he has no divine memory ! Maybe some vague feelings involving being scared of lightning and missing the ocean . But he’s just a little kid#that needs to be fed and kept out the weather and his back scratched so he’ll go to sleep#someone hold me back this is becoming a one shot au#Also Xelqua is 5’0/152cm still. Aether and Flora can’t tell if he’s another child when they see him 😭😭😭#Grian and Xelqua meet and it’s like when Goten met Goku for the first time . Bursts into tears rn live#kidxelqua
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maybe its just me but i cant stand when people are like "it just doesn't sit right with me how teruhashi thought about aiura 🥺" like yes... its not supposed to ??? because her thinking badly of other girls and prioritizing male validation over everything is one of her main flaws ??? can we talk about that WITHOUT making it seem like shes not allowed to have a single actual flaw without suddenly becoming an awful person? nobody can handle complex female characters at all and its so fucking annoying
#you guys all missed the point of her development AND her and saiki's relationship development#like did you miss the parts where the only times he genuinely seems to not like something she does is when shes mean to other girls#and he still understands that she isnt a bad person for having bad thoughts in the private comfort of her mind#and besides... in this case she was literally just being a dramatic and insecure teenage girl LMAO#like dont fucking lie to me and tell me when you were her age you didnt have similar thoughts#youre worse than her if you lie about it while judging her for it#sorryyyy#she shouldve been MORE unhinged youre all just cowards#AND ALSO ? how can something even be 'mean' if its just a thought#thats like if u opened ur friends private diary without permission and then unfriended them over something they said in a random upset vent#and in this specific situation if u found out ur friend called someone a bitch because they liked the same person as her ??#LIKE THATS ?? its bad but its not as crazy as you guys make it out to be#shes allowed to be angry and insecure in the privacy of HER OWN MIND#idk if this makes sense but i just feel that her thoughts are more of a concern about her wellbeing than anything else#like she canonically is extremely kind to others even when she doesnt want to be so why are we worried about how she treats others.#theyre fine. im worried about HER.#and WHY her mindset is so negative... but u guys dont give a shit because u cant handle even a spec of complexity#sorry ive said all this before i just like to rant#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#teruhashi kokomi#meows post
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*coughs* would just like to say ☝️ that in any moment of danger, kiri does that thing where he steps in front of you and reaches back to kind of cage you against his back while he presses a hand against your lower back to keep you close 🙂↕️
#hello hopping in!! still so extremely busy im so sorry ill get to asks when im free!!!#but 🥹🥲#i miss everyone dearly#i think kiri is so innately protective in the ‘nothings gonna touch you’ way and im hOWLING thinking abt it#like he could very well put you out of harms way by pulling u pushing u whatever#but NO. hes putting HIMSELF in between you and the threat#bf and i caught up to mha#someone pls tell me why i forgot that hawks got afo-ed#like what the fuck. what the fuck.#tho we did get him shirtless 😔#but. sigh#still. honestly kind of like that that happened idk something how i can see why it makes sense for his character arc#ANYWAY so many thoughts but i love bnha still
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no for real where did gucci get that leash
#where did she get that………#if this is revealed don’t tell me i am having fun in my mind palace rn#most insane option: she commissioned brnine and got fleeced bc the audacity and they’re still mad anyway but they still did it bc it’s gucc#my favorite: she thought about doing that but the thought of explaining it to their face made her feel too embarrassed and stubborn so she#went to like mustard red (who still has connects) or something#just just so fun to think about. gucci what’s your problem ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#girls who would be so bored in a normal relationship to be honest#^ which her dust au one definitely was to me. her normie civilian wife who does not challenge her at all which she definitely doesn’t miss#wild time to quote mabel but love is a leash that pulls both ways…#chats
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Fucked up having a goofy ass romantic nature when you're not in a relationship or even have a crush on anyone specific. You'll be sitting there thinking "oooh I wish I had someone to kiss and take on gayass dates and dedicate my soul to" with complete sincerity like some kinda 18th century nerd who courts ladies just so he can have someone to write poems for. I have all this love in me and nowhere to put it, what a fuckin waste dude. You were right Freddie find me somebody to love
#and dont tell me love doesnt have to be romantic blah blah i know all that.#i have plenty of things and ppl to love platonically i want someone to be *in love* with.#to me these are not interchangeable or substitutable and i miss having both ok#like. i do appreciate friendship and family and the beauty of the world‚ finding love and joy in all the small things. truly i do#but ppl keep listing all that when I say i miss being in love and like. thats not the same at all. how is one supposed to replace the other#i know its ✨okay✨ to not have a romantic relationship and its ✨okay✨ to focus on other things in life.#i can know its ok not to have something and still want it tho yknow. ugh#anyway.
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thinking about todd and his resolve toward… not quite isolation, but being alone in a room full of people again. he goes along to the study room to sit on his own and do his homework, he sits at the poets table and follows along with what’s being said while keeping quiet, he goes to the meetings at all but doesn’t necessarily contribute (in fact, if you watch him when cameron is telling the story ‘from camp in sixth grade’, you can see that he recognizes it before any of the other poets but doesn’t voice it until they all have). he’s not alone, necessarily, if you want to get technical about it, he’s just lonely, and he’s generally okay with that. he doesn’t have friends and that’s fine, he doesn’t participate in class and that’s fine, he doesn’t have a relationship with his family and that’s fine—he could live without any real connection and he’d have been, more or less, fine.
the thing about when he says “i can take care of myself just fine!” is that he isn’t really wrong, you can infer that he’s been doing it his entire life anyway, it’s that ‘taking care of yourself’ isn’t the same thing as really living or being happy. todd’s an introvert, certainly, and even as he gets closer to the group he defaults to sitting quietly in the background, but he’s also denying himself community out of fear not introversion. todd isn’t friendless because he’s an introvert, although that definitely plays a part, he’s friendless because he pushes anyone that might want his company away. if anyone has every wanted for his attention in the first place. (neil’s unwavering interest in him is unique (even when it comes to the rest of the poets, who are fine with todd coming along and joining the group, but aren’t really hellbent on him being there in the beginning) and his refusal to accept it is a direct result of being so lonely growing up.)
there’s obviously something to be said about the implications of his parents neglect, and the more than likely fact that he grew up friendless, and how those both play a part in in him being so skilled at dodging social interaction/being so avoidant of it, but by the time we see him in the movie he’s all but accepted his fate as being alone his entire life. he’s already accepted being the family disappointment, and he’s already accepted he’ll never amount to anything, and he obviously doesn’t like it, but he’d have managed living with that knowledge without the confirmation that it was all wrong. would he have been miserable? almost certainly. but he’d have managed. he’d done it for that long already, anyhow.
#and like obviously it’s BAD in the long run and his isolation IS only making his life worse but… genuinely he’d have been alright#all things considered#it’s super interesting to me how it’s neil who starts the domino effect of todd’s life becoming Less Shit#both by beliving in him and putting faith in him that he’s never seen before and refusing to let him hide away#but it isn’t a savior moment on neil’s part#and i find it so odd when people frame it as one#todd is like… actively irritated at him in that scene 😭#neil is right that todd needs to get out of his shell and put himself out there and Believe in himself#but todd can’t accept it yet because he can’t see what neil sees in him yet and doesn’t believe it exists at all#and it frustrates him because unlike everyone else neil REFUSES to give up on him#and as far as todds concerned it’ll be for nothing#as far as todd’s concerned neil isn’t a savior or a hero in that scene he’s an annoyance#a necessary one in the grand scheme of things but an annoyance all the same#i think people forget that just because todd DOES want to break out of his shell (‘don’t you think you could be?’ / ‘no! i… i don’t know!’ +#‘come on you heard keating don’t you want to *do* something about it?’ / ‘*yes* but…’) doesn’t mean he knows how or believes he actually CAN#todds autonomy can be taken away from him a lot (ironic) and he can be twisted into someone with no opinions or thoughts or whims +#outside of neil but that isn’t really the case#and a part of that blame lands on the movie because todd doesn’t get explored a lot but there’s still evidence of him being his own person#he’s not a yesman and he tells neil when his ideas are stupid (keeping the audition from his father) or he just doesn’t personally agree +#(the entire ‘no’ scene) and he functions perfectly well when neil isn’t around and while they aren’t focuses +#there are short scenes where todds alone or scenes that start eith them apart that make it clear they aren’t attatched to each other +#in the way people can often write them to be (that is in the trenches if the other is missing)#this post and all these tags are my long winded way of saying FUCK the codependent anderperry thing some people subscribe to it makes me#mad#neil’s goal is to help todd grow into himself and become his own person and find his identity more than anything#and todd doesn’t need neil to hold his hand to do literally anything and everything he’s a normal guy with anxiety#come on guys#dps#dead poets society#todd anderson
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I'm alive! I promise.
I'm sorry I haven't been active lately. Those closest to me know what's been going on. But as the year is coming to an end, things start to get more chaotic. Physical, as well as mental, health checks were needed.
I want to apologize to those whom I promised stories for. Believe it or not, I have requests from two years ago still in my Inbox. So of course it compounds to the feeling of being an utter failure to deliver anything.
I also want to apologize to those who have been tagging me in their stories and I haven't gotten around to reading them. I will try to catch up in the following days.
Please, please, please send me your stories. Slide into my DM's. Drop'em down and don't feel embarrassed to. I would love to read them.
Lastly, I want to thank my supportive friends for cheering me on and keeping me grounded. I can't promise my involvement will be more active. But I'll try.
Thank you all. I love you all 🥰💚
@michelleleewise @coldnique @lokisgoodgirl @fictive-sl0th @springdandelixn @wheredafandomat @goldencherriess @salempoe @kkdvkyya @a-witch-with-words @mischief2sarawr @vbecker10 @peachymallow @irishhappiness @simplyholl @tallseaweed @holdmytesseract @immersed-in-mischief @joyful-enchantress @lokisninerealms @loz-3 @chantsdemarins @the-lady-amphitrite @eleniblue @km-ffluv @n3rdybirdee @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokischambermaid @loopsisloops @ladyofthestayingpower @lokiandbuckysdoll @sarahscribbles @ijuststareatstuffhereok89
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don't know if this will be useful to anyone else, but i thought i'd share it on here just in case--i made a google drive folder of what i believe is all a3! event CGs starting from special edition: dollhouse (october 2022), up to postman delivering thoughts (august 2024). the reason it starts at that specific point is because that's where yaycupcake's CG album ends, and originally i just wanted to know who was featured in each one so i could list them in my personal event spreadsheet but then i figured i have to find all these CGs to get that info in the first place, so i might as well keep them saved somewhere! especially since i ended up having to search several different places for them, which is why the sizing and quality of them is inconsistent. a lot of the CGs from this year's events were sent to me by @fea-therlight221, so shoutout to them for their help!! i'd also like to keep updating this with future event CGs as i find them.
#a3#a3! act addict actors#if i'm still missing anything please tell me lol i haven't been into a3 that long and don't play the game so it's entirely possible#i'm so glad i could find all of these because i had never seen most of them#the wizards' tea party one makes me desperately wish i could find a TL of that event#also the la verite of flowers one has to be faked because like what do you MEAN tsumugi can use a smartphone?!#okay sorry ignore me lmao#anyway i am also seriously considering just saving every event CG in case something happens to yaycupcake#but for now it's just the ones they don't have
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Alright so.. I am so curious
How are y'all interpreting Dahlia? Like what does the actual location look like to you?
#keeping in mind im generally still real new to the series so maybe i just missed something so far#i also scoured the internet for far too long trying to figure out if dahlia was a fictional location or not 😭#can you tell my ass never travels down south across the border#but fr are we interpeting it like.. PNW vibes or?#let me know what yall think cause i also wanna draw possibly full scenes wuth the shaw pack hehee#help a canadian out i know fuck all about how to interpret this 😩#fen talks#redactedverse#redacted audio
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SPOILER below
Maybe don’t read chapter 117😬
(New chapter in 7 hours I don’t know what to feel)
we don’t speak of chapter 117. in fact it never happened. 117 isn’t even a number
#ALL I KNOW IS THAT KUNIKIDA CROAKS AND NOTHUNG ELSE NO ONE SPOIL THE REST#IM STILL DEVASTATED#its literally my fault like i hadn’t finished the show or the manga and i was scrolling the bsd tag. am i stupid?#so yeah. there’s that.#in my head they’re all alive and well actually#nothing bad ever happens to them hope this helps#i will literally not accept anything else#what pisses me off is that from like episode three or something it’s so clear that kunikida will be the one to die#don’t know how to explain it but im sure everyone understands what im talking about#principled character being forced to go against their principles/ being made to believe they did is literally a doomed tope#we all knew this was coming it was only a matter of how and when#oh yeah and on that note dazai ie character who wants nothing more than to die will probably live.#if im wrong do NOT tell me#dont tell me anything actually#there’s nothing to tell because everyone’s alive and happy#miss j's mailbox#aenishas <3
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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if wriothesley doesn't appear in any quest once we get to remuria, what even is the point?
the parallels between wrio and king remus are crystal clear. remus who descended upon meropis (a name very familiar to anyone who knows of the fortress of meropide) in his golden fortuna, the legendary ship of remus that is also called the bringer of civilization and glory (wrio who built a ship to deal with the misfortune upon fontaine) is an example of it.
wrio also has connections to hades with the cerberus motif as guardian of the underworld. it's curious that the tower in remuria is described not only as not built to receive heavenly oracles, serving as a guide to ships traveling between islands, but also as a border of reality and dreams. if this is not necessarily literal but a metaphor or allegory, it could fit very well with the idea of a portal between domains or realms, like life and death.
wriothesley also parallels another character in the genshin universe and that person is arlecchino. they were brought up as orphans, taken in by an institution with corrupted leaders, which they reformed and achieved a leading position of. and funnily enough, she has ties to purgatory (a place for punishment, much like the fortress). as i have said in another post, purgatory has been described by dante as a tower leading to heaven. but we also know that celestia in the genshin world is associated with the demon realm - archons being named after ars goetia, an anonymous grimoire on demonology. although the concepts aren't the same in theory, is it impossible that the game has used elements of both? wriothesley and arlecchino's themes are similar enough to overlap. even though i don't expect wriothesley to be lore revelant anymore, i do think his ties to remuria and his role as someone who punishes others for their sins, much like arlecchino, is very much purposeful.
#another random post because i read the history of the decline and fall of remuria and i keep reaching the same conclusions sghdfasgd#i don't know what to make of it but i feel like i'm so much on the right track for arle's lore but i am probably still missing something#important ahah probably related to the narzissenkreuz ordo and khaenri'ah (and consequently the#hilicurl curse) since arle probably has ties to that era as well. she was probably done experiments on much like caterpillar but i have no#idea my first instinct tells me she's not from khaenri'ah but who knows i'll love to find out#anyway this was a post about wrio but again arlecchino has taken over my mind so it is what it is#i forgot to include in the post but fortuna is not only the goddess of fortune and luck but also the god of fate. wrio who built the boat i#hopes to challenge the fate of fontaine vs pierro saying fate grants favors to no one and implying arlecchino has been able to challenge it#like. lore is so fun!!!!!! i see little dots connecting things but i'm like a 3 year old trying to connect them and failing miserably lol#wriothesley#arlecchino#genshin impact#genshin thoughts
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Xmen 97 Extinction Part 3 (short)
Lots of feelings about it - mostly mixed.
But important question - when Rogue and Sunspot fought Bastion in space - how were they able to breathe without space suits?
This mightily distracted me. 😂
I was like, yeah, Rogue! Make him remember. Wait - how are you breathing right now? 😭😂
#xmen 97#x men 97 spoilers#rogue#sunspot#roberto da costa#bastion#did I miss something#I specifically remember an episode in TAS where rogue flew into the atmosphere#holding her breath to get rid of pyro’s fire bird#her fight was badass but still…please tell me I missed something#😂😂😂
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Hello! I made this Aziracrow Eras Sorter!
All you have to do is pick your favorites and it will make an ordered list! (It will make sense I promise)
https://ilovelps.neocities.org/aziracrowerasorter
I hope you have fun and please share your results!!
#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#crowley good omens#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#my posts#sorter#character sorter#eras#good omens eras#aziracrow eras#this took a couple hours please enjoy#quiz#quizzes#please tell me if there is something wrong with it or if I'm missing anything I triple checked but I still could of missed something 😓
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