#ANYWAY so many thoughts but i love bnha still

[seiwas]

*coughs* would just like to say ☝️ that in any moment of danger, kiri does that thing where he steps in front of you and reaches back to kind of cage you against his back while he presses a hand against your lower back to keep you close 🙂‍↕️

[jamiethebee]

You know what irks me the most about the mha ending. (Sorry I'm still on it.)

Like the early parts of the manga, there were so many grown up hero AUs in fandom (like storylines that took place when they're adults and heroes) and they're fun! A little silly!

And then we had the war arc and cities are being destroyed and everything's torn up and for over a hundred chapters, it's been oh huh I guess every AU like that will just be canon divergence lmao

And then Horikoshi basically wipes the slate clean so I guess all those AUs could technically canon compliant. There's not even much in the way of lasting physical damage! Because it's dealt with???? Immediately???? Within months?????

Which is fine! Nothing wrong with it! The AUs are fun! But, it just irks me that you could throw out half the manga because it didn't matter. Nothing majorly changed. Silly adult hero AUs for everyone I guess because the League may as well have been 2 bit villains for all the effect they had at large was. Idk. Maybe I'm bitter? Maybe my brain still trying to process the ending and the change in how AUs relate to canon? I guess - what was all the constant sprinkling in of "society has let people down" that we see from chapter 1? It meant nothing? I guess????? I mean A WAR HAPPENED. But whatever I guess heehee wasn't that soooooo silly???? That people's take on early story can be the same as post story?????

[ktzuki]

sit on me;

izuku x reader, university au

✎ synopsis — there were no more seats, so izuku offered you a seat. on his lap 🤞(only BORDERLINE suggestive)

✎ a/n — bnha fandom i am here again but for my manz izuku. he is just so.... arrggghhh i love older izu aus hes everything to me

"yn, the movies starting!!" ochako screamed. your uni flatmates decided to host a movie night, and with all the stress from finals... it was really something you appreciated.

"on my way! blame kirishima for wanting so many snacks!" you retort, scurrying to the living room where everyone else was.

what bad luck you had. normally the couch was able to hold the lot of you, but jirou had invited her boyfriend, kaminari, to the party. and for the first time, you had the courage to invite your literature classmate, and crush, izuku midoriya.

"theres no more seats..." you mumbled from the kitchen doorway. you werent sure what to do, since this was a problem that never came up. you didnt want to kick anyone off, or disturb anyone since everyone looked comfortable. you also felt a bit down as you missed your chance to sit next to izuku. you knew the others would take a hint, but you never told any of them about your feelings. in the midst of your overthinking, you hadnt noticed the slight turn of izukus head towards your direction. he watched you for a bit as you couldnt come to a solution.

"you can sit on me if you want."

the room fell into silence at izukus statement, jaws dropping in the process. you werent sure if you heard that correctly, nor did anyone else for that matter, as the boy never usually had that kind of confidence — that was something youd expect from kaminari, or bakugo with his girlfriend (a sight youd never expect to see).

"woah, izuku... who knew you were so manly!" kirishima broke the silence, smacking izukus back in the process.

"yeah... woah...!!" "okay puller!!" "sit on- ????"

said boy only blinked his eyes a few times before the realisation of what he really said washed through him. in just a few seconds, he found himself stuttering and waving his hands in the air, sweating profusely. "i-i meant on my lap! seriously! i mean!! she looked stressed!! i didnt mean anything bad i promise!"

you had nothing to say, except laugh. his rambling was sort of cute. but you knew izuku was just a friend, he was only being considerate — its in his nature. "come on guys, you know what midoriya meant."

despite being incredibly shy when it came to all things izuku, you didnt want to miss this chance. you walked over to him, sitting across his lap and resting your back on the arm rest. the edge of the armrest was hard, so izuku slipped his arm there before you even laid your back. his arm was eventually going to ache, you thought, but he still did it anyways. everyone else seemed to have gotten distracted or bored after seeing izukus reaction, and went onto their usual chit chatter before starting the movie.

"thank you midoriya. i didnt know what to do." you quietly admitted, a bit flustered as you were sitting on his lap, playing with your hands awkwardly.

"no worries. i know how it is to overthink. i just hope youre comfortable?" he asked with a sheepish smile, noticing how awkward you were. it took you aback — was he always this thoughtful?

"y-yeah. i am." you looked away, not being able to bare any more eye contact with him. you guys were only friends, and you hadnt been in a relationship in years... maybe thats why you felt the way you did.

the movie went on, entrancing everyone into it. you on the one hand couldnt focus on anything but the mere fact you were sitting on izukus lap, and you werent sure why you even did so. the urge just to melt into him was strong, but you prevailed since you convinced yourself you "didnt want to take advantage of his kindness", even though the boy fully invited you to get comfortable. your neck was currently in a bit of pain from craning it to the side, and you felt too shy to move incase you block his vision or invade his personal space. why did you sit in this position? were you dumb? you were literally frozen trying to not distract him from the movie — something you wish youd be enjoying too.

"your necks going to hurt if you keep on craning it that way. wanna face forward?" midoriya whispered in your ear as to not disturb the others. you felt how close he was in the midst of your overthinking, and it jolted you, oblivious to midoriya. it made him chuckle, but his breath against your skin lingered even when you jolted away. you wanted to chase that feeling again, but fought against it.

"if thats fine... with you i mean!" you exclaimed — you were so thankful it was dark. you didnt want him to see you flustered over his actions when he was just trying to be kind. you wouldnt have minded sitting on anyone elses lap at this moment of time, or even the floor. his actions didnt make you uncomfortable, but rather made you want to-

"of course yn. get as comfortable as you want! think of me as like... a chair!" he quietly joked. you couldnt find that funny in the way he did, but it definitely felt funny to you. it didnt help how you were already feeling. the butterflies in your stomach were running rampage, and below that... you just hoped he didnt feel anything on his thighs. he clearly didnt realise what he was saying... or maybe that was just you feeling otherwise. still, you shifted yourself and found yourself comfortable in his lap, your back now on his chest, faces just cms apart.

for the rest of the movie, you calmed yourself down and found comfort in your position. normally, your mind would be running miles over being this close, to the point where you could count every freckle, but something about him was warm, and his steady heartbeat lulled you to sleep.

when you awoke, you found the movie was already over. you shuffled around, trying to wake yourself up after a good rest. you couldnt see anyone else, so you figured everyone had left after the movie ended.

"awake?"

you jumped, not expecting anyone to be around. "midoriya?"

"you were asleep on my lap, remember?" he reminded, albeit sheepishly, "you fell asleep."

"oh my god yes! im so sorry. i mustve kept you there for-" you turned to check the time, "hours!! im so sorry midoriya!"

he waved one of his hands in response, putting his phone down in the process. "its okay - you looked so comfortable i didnt wanna wake you."

"ugh... i so owe you. thank you for everything tonight." you sighed. if it wasnt for midoriya, you mightve considered leaving movie night as a whole.

his eyes lingered on you, but so did yours.

"yn?" you looked at him, "could i..."

you could practically see the clogs in his head whirring. there was nothing he could possibly be thinking about, except getting sleep for a long day of lectures tomorrow. he was stuck overthinking as to what he should say or maybe how he should say it, and in that time you found yourself admiring his features. since you and izuku were just friends, you never got the chance to see him up close — how did you never notice how pretty he was?

he probably didnt want what you were hoping he would want. with a sigh, you got yourself ready to leave, wanting to wash all your inappropriate thoughts about midoriya away as to not make this awkward for yourself in the future. he was still your classmate after all. he noticed you shuffling, and that broke him out of his trance. he infact did want what you want. in the first place, he only asked out of kindness, but things changed over time, for example, when you were shuffling against him — he couldnt believe how stupidly oblivious he was. just as you were about to stand, you felt the hem of your shirt being grabbed, "come back."

you looked back, confused. did you get the wrong idea? "please." he asked. and that answered everything. you felt like a giddy highschooler.

in a trance, you found yourself back on his lap, lips on his, minds blank. one thing lead to another, and you began straddling his hips, and his hands found themselves under your shirt. good thing no one else was around.

for the first time in forever, the two of you couldnt even think.

[angy-grrr]

It saddens me how many of these yappers (i'm not calling them shippers) want so bad for a confession to happen bc to them, that is just a means to an end so they can finally be done with it.

All they want is for Izuku to get the girl already but they don't give a shit what is happening with them, or if it's a good way to end their characters. They want the girl prop to be a prop as fast as possible so they can validate a hatrated for gay shippers.

yeah, I went to the bnha Reddit and some are really… wrong. Some even don’t understand how she could cry over a murderer, and others directly are talking about her being actually Himiko transformed??? There was someone who was acting like a confession in next chapter would be groundbreaking and what “we” were looking for, but it’s just terrible to follow this up with that. It’s not about it being vanilla, or not my favorite, or underdeveloped -it makes zero sense to add a love confession and, especially, a getting together scene.

And when reading the chapter, it looks like it tried to bait you into thinking it was about that in the beginning -making you wonder “is ochako feeling hurt bc she is still hiding her feelings for izuku?”. Just so around the end, we actually see what her thoughts are about: Himiko and pretending she is happy without her smiling too. Next chapter will focus on Izuku’s side of things I believe by the tagline, or maybe will start like that with him trying to help her.

But anyways, it’s just sad how dudebros are seen as the realistic ones, as the right ones, and feel confident in a confession when the actual narration tells you a different story -many are already saying they “won” and “it’s confirmed”, but really, they don’t have anything more.

A scene between two or more characters can be ship material if you want, or even random pairings that you think are cute together even if they don’t have screen time together or aren’t in the same show even -but this sentiment of it being canon coming from some parts of the fandom? After reading Ochako’s feelings of grief? And expecting a confession next, as if they could just naturally get over it? You don’t have to see it as a togachako scene, but damn, why would this be an “izu///ocha is already canon expect a confession next”? Not as a joke but as if that’s seriously the right and only way to see this chapter??? Wtf?

[myz-wykkyd]

The top reference was made by myself in 2021, the bottom was made in 2019 (watermarks are my old username). The templates I used can be found here and were made by Unearthy.

Additional art from left to right, was made by Athren, CNWGraphis, kiirino, and bakawomans <3

Note: Any variation of "I don't like Endeavor, but-" is not wanted in my comments or reblogs. You aren't obligated to like the character, but I don't appreciate my art or character being used to vent your frustrations when I'm just trying to have a fun time. I WILL BLOCK YOU IF YOU DO.

Old Art I made of my BNHA / MHA OC Suisei Murasaki<3 Suisei used to be my main oc and I was once as obsessed with her as I was Rosalie. She's still very near and dear to my heart ofc and after catching up with mha I was recently reinspired to work on her again. She's got a new reference on the way but until then I thought it'd be okay to share some of my older pieces/some art I've commissioned of her over the years. BIG LORE DUMP UNDER THE CUT.

You can view her TH here for more indepth information. Not all of it is up to date. But TLDR: Suisei Murasaki, also known by her hero name Andromeda, is a Pro Hero whose flashy quirk and philanthropy helped catapult her into stardom at an early age, and eventually lead her to achieving international fame. She is best known for the fun, game-show like tv shows she frequently hosts to raise money for charities, but she also does modeling work on the side and often appears as a guest teacher at her former school in-between her hero work. She doesn't take paycuts- instead she opts to donate money she makes to families in need.

In front of her audience she is perpetually cheerful, hardworking, dramatic and even a little silly at times. But it’s an act that she has chosen to keep up to avoid burdening her friends and loved ones with of her rocky personal life after the sudden loss of her husband.

Her Quirk has been tweaked a bit since 2019 so the one listed on her old reference isn't completely accurate, but basically it allows her to take on the properties of and fly through the air like a comet- making her extremely fast and strong. I've saved a few clips over the years of what I think it'd look like, so here's an example.

She was high school sweethearts with Endeavor at U.A and they remained together for a few years after their graduation, but they broke up when his obsession with becoming the number 1 hero began to interfere with their relationship. They fall completely out of connect. Suisei moves on and she eventually meets, falls in love with, 'marries', and has a child with a man who is actually All for One in disguise- but she doesn't discover that until much later (probably sometime before the Final War). After AfO's fight with All Might, he disappears without a trace from Suisei's life, and she's left heartbroken and unable to find any answer or explanation. So is forced to assume the worst. MHA first begins, she's just returned to hero work after being an hiatus for a while. She spent that time recovering and taking care of her child.

After her return, she eventually reconnects with many old colleges- including Endeavor. She joins Hawks in lending support to him after All Might's retirement. She ofc discovers she is still attracted to him, but I imagine the two simply remain friends throughout the rest of the series duration. But I guess in my personal story, Rei and him eventually divorce and he gives his family the space from him that he thinks they need while continuing to support them anyway they can. Only then do I imagine Suisei and Endeavor's relationship is finally rekindled a few years later. In this scenario I imagine Suisei and Enji have a daughter together who eventually becomes a pro-hero named "Red Star".

[yellowocaballero]

Anyway.

How many works do you have on AO3? 54. Hm. I don't remember writing 54 fics. That's weird. But I've been posting since 2017 so when you THINK about it 54 fics over 7 years isn't weird at all.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 2.4 million. What's your point.

What fandoms do you write for? A fuckton. I write both things I'm hyperfixated on and for random shit that comes in my head. I was into TMA for like two years so I have the most TMA fic (16), but most of my fandoms are 3-5 fics maximum. There's also a lot of random-ass fics for random-ass fandoms that just jumped in my head. Artemis Fowl, Beetlejuice, Animorphs...demons that overtook me for two weeks or so and never bothered me again.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? The Great Gender Heist (Artemis Fowl, no surprise there.), stay out of trouble (Detroit: Become Human, I reliably forget that one exists and I'm still mystefied as to why so many people read it), meek shall inherit (I'm constantly attempting to forget the Be More Chill phase ever happened), someone will remember us (Batman, fic's not great, am still very fond of that au) and dead or alive (DBH, mediocre). Why the hell are the two Detroit: Become Human fics so popular? I hate DBH so much. I was so angry while writing those.

Do you respond to comments? I am absolutely terrible about responding to comments. I am sorry. I do read and appreciate all of them. It's because I always need to give a dialectical so comments take ages to write. If you do want to hear my thoughts on something, my inbox is your best bet for a way too lengthy response.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hope, Etc for certain. I try really hard to write bittersweet at worst endings, and even the sad endings in my fics have hope in them. Hope, Etc definitely ends in a better place than where it began. But it's still very sad. I was thinking about a lot of lost loved ones while writing it. Fishhooks and reel to reel also have downer endings but that is because they are LITERALLY Star Wars.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Uhhhh. The ending of Solitaire (and the MLM/WLW hostility series in general) is very sweet. It's meaningful because it demonstrates so much growth from everybody with very little cost. I almost said Go Straight At The Cul De Sac, because it showcases a happier world where horrible historical events were averted, but the ending will always be a little bittersweet because we understand how much Protag sacrificed to create that better world.

Do you get hate on fics? Sometimes people are kind of weird. The worst of it is usually just useless comments, though. I had somebody get pedantic about how briefly mentioning an SUV would be historically inaccurate, and how I should have mentioned a minivan instead - like, did you read that fic and think I was from the suburbs? Do I look like I know what a minivan is? Lol? If I've received any actual more severe stuff I have no idea, since I delete the comment and delete it from my memory. I've never gotten anything too bad. I've been called ablest like three times, which is objectively hilarious.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? If I could write smut I'd be making bank on Kindle Unlimited right now.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Probably the FE3H/BNHA one I'm writing right now that will never see the light of day. Just kidding. I don't actually think I've posted any real crossovers - I DO write them, I just kind of feel like they're cringe so I never post them. I write a lot of cringe shit that never sees the light of day.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not nearly popular enough for that.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Several people have mentioned wanting to do that, but nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not technically. But I do want to give due honors to all of the friends who are SO instrumental in the building of the AUs, stories, characters, etc, that they've had a huge impact on the story itself. I try to recognize them by name in the fics themselves but my stories would look completely different if it wasn't for my friends. Definitely much worse.

What’s your all time favorite ship? I'll differentiate favorite ships and favorite fictional romances. For ships, it's much less about the ship and more about the role in the story. I tend not to pay a lot of attention to that while writing, but sometimes I get lost in my own sauce and I drive myself a bit nuts. I am very fond of Hanyookim, especially in my own ORV story. For romances? My top ten list of fictional romances is as follows: number one: naturally, Sasunaru -

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? If it's up on AO3, it's done (with one or two very small exceptions - The Ending of Han Sooyoung epilogue I'll get to you I PROMISE). There's plenty of unfinished docs on my drive that I'll never finish, but that's because I decided that they weren't worth finishing.

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and characterization. That's always been the case. I'm also pretty funny.

What are your writing weaknesses? Plotting. Action. Having stories that are not entirely dialogue. Where things happen and it's more than just people walking around talking. You know. Real stories -

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Always valid. I remember reading one Hispanic author talking about how he doesn't like italicizing the Spanish in his stories because it's otherizing, and I agreed enough with him that I don't tend to italicize other languages either. Sometimes I do. I try to do it purposefully, and to convey something that can only be conveyed through the extra language. I'll also only do it if I can have a friend who speaks that language write it out for me, since gtranslate sucks and I want to ask the friend how such a thing would actually be said and colloquialize it. I like using ASL in fics, and I am just in general begging people to a) write it like any other language, and b) understand that it's different from other languages and can't be written exactly the same. If your Star Wars fanfiction has so much gratuitous Mando'a that I can't understand anything the clones or Mandos are saying I hate you.

First fandom you wrote for? Batman Beyond. Yes, I have a FFN account somewhere. Yes, I was eleven. Yes, it was Batman Beyond.

Favorite fic you’ve written? The best thing I've written is Twilight on Owl Creek Bridge. Favorite is New Wave. That sucker took two years to write (INSANELY long for me) and it is exactly the story I wanted to write. Stephanie's a character I've been writing since I was 15, and the feeling of writing Stephanie and NAILING her for the very first time was so satisfying.

Tagging @usaigi and uh any other writer mutuals you all know who you are.

[zaiban2989]

BNHA S3 EP1 or the Pool Ep

Honestly, I've watched that ep at least 6 times in the last two weeks, just didn't have a chance to pause and talk about it until now lol That post gonna be long again 😭🤣

It's not "that much" of an important episode when you think of it, but it's still one of my favourites. Our cinnamon roll Izuku is just the cutest in this one, being manipulated by Denki & Mineta to use the pool so those pervs can spy on the girls lmao the whole thing is hilarious and cute af - I mean look at this cute baby being all fired up for training! 👇

Our little green bean is so cute and friendly and nice he even texted everyone to come and join them lmao Which is raising so many questions: did everyone in class 1-A share their numbers with each other? Does that mean that Kacchan actually gave it to everyone else, even Deku? Or is Kacchan the only one Izuku didn't text because, you know, fucked up relationship and all that, and it's only because Kirishima got the message that Kacchan came (like his bro definitely has his number and told him about the training)? Or do they all just have a group chat with the whole class so Izuku texted there so everyone, including Kacchan, saw it? I WANT ANSWERS!!!!

But considering the timing of how late Kirishima and Katsuki came to meet with them, I feel like the closest answer is that Kiri got Izuku's text and then texted Katsuki or even went to his house to drag him out or something... Kiri did say that it took him a while to get Katsuki to come, so that's probably it. The thought that Izuku can't even text Kacchan, or didn't even think he could, makes me so sad honestly 😭 (like imagine class A really does have a group chat and those two idiots are in there but never interact with each other's texts and secretly did save each other's numbers but yeah there's no way in hell they'd go and text the other because "Kacchan probably doesn't wanna talk to me", "why the heck should I text the nerd, I'm better than him!" *siiiiiiigh* I want a fic about this now lol)

Anyway, back to the episode... Iida, class rep, always at the ready to order people around lol It's so funny how everyone just listens to him though, I love it 💙

AND THEN THE BEST PART OF IT ALL HARKLZERLKRZEKDE - What happened? Iida and Izuku are having a little moment together (reminiscing what happened in s1 & s2) and Izuku says that he got here with the help of many others and that he needs to work that much harder and WHO yells a loud "OF COURSE!" to that?! Fucking Kacchan! 🧡💚seriously I can't, man! I have so many fucking thoughts on that scene alone, it's ridiculous lol

And I mean, what he says is so freaking weiiiiiiiiiird! (proof in pic👇)

Iida and Izuku were not even speaking that loudly, so how the fuck did Katsuki even hear all of that shit from where he was?! (he just arrived there with Ei, you see him walking up to them with his usual gremlin face, Kiri blocking him lmao)

So now I am HC-ing the fact that Katsuki actually do not have any fucking hearing impairments because of his Explosion quirk - on the contrary, he probably trained himself so fucking much so that shit would never be a problem and so that he could eavesdrop on any conversation his nerd would be having with other people (see Sport Festival and his stalking of Izu/Todo secret meeting lol)

I mean seriously, Kiri and him JUST arrived there and what's his first move? To fucking head to where Deku is hdezdezmde and you wanna tell me that guy ain't obsessed with his broccoli head? PLEASE!

"Otherwise there's no way I'd lose to a damn nerd like you!" - or literally, Katsuki openly admitting that he has been losing to the nerd (in the first DvKpt1 of course, but also when they teamed up against AM for the exam because he had been reckless and had to rely on the damn nerd for help - hell, he even lost consciousness and the guy dragged him to the exit (HC-ing again, but pretty sure Kats asked for the recording of that fight cuz he didn't remember and wanted to know what the fuck happened - he'll never tell Izuku though))

So our blonde baby IS already growing up, it's subtle but for someone like Katsuki to say that he's lost to Deku, I mean that is fucking big, man. I'm certain Izuku didn't even pick up what that meant here, but progress baby, you've been acknowledged by your person! 🧡💚

As soon as he's there, he's already picking a fight with his baby nerd lmao at this stage, it's established he sees both Deku & Todo as his rivals - Hori is even already setting the tone for the next gen' of UA Big Three since the 3 of them end up being the ones winning each racing rounds and are now facing each other in the final

(Just some appreciation of how fucking hot Katsuki is when he doesn't make his bitch face lmao 🔥🧡 also the fucking V-shape he has, god dammit man!)

Of course, the final round doesn't happen - I wonder who Hori would have turned into the winner on that one lol Guess it was too hard to decide huh flekdmzemdez Look at those dum-dums' faces as their quirks got erased 🤣

That episode is so gold, I swear! Even the ending with Katsuki's frustration of not having raced against Deku & Todo when he's on his way back with Kiri and the fact that we see once again that his goal hasn't changed (yet?), honestly, it's endearing 🧡

"No matter who it is, I won't let them catch up to me, let alone get ahead of me!" - oh baby boy, talking about your insecurities like that *sobs* it makes it even more amazing that he changed so freaking much by s5-s6 because he's no longer with that mindset 😭 "The nerd's ahead of me now but I can still catch up!" fuck me man, that 180 is just... *cries*

You see his All Might fanboying seeping through what he says and how he's determined to prove himself, someone please give that baby a hug😭 (he fucking gets kidnapped in this season, I can't man)

ANYWAYS, I LOVE THIS EPISODE SO MUCH OKAY?! lmao Ending this review with the official season ending, firework moment and Kacchan next to his Deku (come on, Hori could have placed him anywhere else there but nope)

That's it, folks! Cheers for coming to my ted talk lol Till next time!🧡💚

[samthehyena]

A longwinded post about how I've been feeling frustrated and tired as a femslash author

Just crossposting my recent vent post from dreamwidth since I know that some of my togachako friends have been going through similar frustrations. So I thought that who knows maybe this could help make anyone else with similar frustrations about BNHA femslash feel a little less alone.

Lately, I've been reflecting a lot on writing femslash in the BNHA fandom. I don't know, I've just been growing more frustrated with the discrepancy between how well M/M fics do compared to F/F fics.

I’ll start out with how I ended up writing a lot of F/F fics to begin with. BNHA is probably one of the first fandoms where I initially shipped mostly M/M ships rather than mainly F/F ships. It was a little bit of a shift for me given that before I started reading/writing fics on AO3 I was a shipper in fandoms where femslash ships were more prominent than in BNHA (think She-Ra or Adventure Time featuring Bubbline).

Anyways, I entered the fandom in roughly November 2022 and I was reading a lot of the very popular longfics for BNHA for the first handful of months after I got into the fandom. One of said longfics was a quirkless Izuku in fic in which there was background Inko/Midnight but Inko died before Midnight could propose. And that moment struck a chord with the tragic yuri lover in me – and I was determine to write at least one fic in which Inko and Nemuri could be happy together without their love ending in tragedy.

Thus, my fourth fic ever (if memory serves) was a self-indulgent one shot in which Inko was a cop and Midnight was a thief. And there was a very thoughtful comment and bookmark on that fic that made me overjoyed because I could see that someone else loved Inko/Midnight as much as I did. So I did what I still often do and browsed through the bookmarks of people who bookmarked that fic (after all people who like my stuff are likely to have similar fanfic tastes to me) – and behold I found so many yummy BNHA femslash recs. That’s when I realized that there ARE BNHA femslash fics out there – I just had to work harder and know where to look.

Flash forward to the summer of 2023 (ah the good old days of olden times) and I hopped onto the togachako renaissance train after the togachako chapters dropped. After all, I’ve always been a sucker for hero/villain and stories of redemption (coughs in catradora shipper). And at first posting for togachako felt so explosively rewarding. Knowing that femslash fics typically do not get as much engagement as say M/M fics, I was so amazed and overjoyed to see my first few togachako fics get comparable reader engagement when placed beside my other fics.

Heck, my most fic with the most kudos was a togachako multi chap I started posting when there was a big boom in new togachako shippers in the following months.

But with time the tides turned. By November the togachako oneshots I was posting did not get as many comments or kudos as my first few togachako fics did. And it was a bit discouraging to see the increasing disparity between my femslash fics and other fics especially since I like writing F/F the most of all. Still, I pushed forward because I’d see the returning readers in my kudos email and I had friends to cheer me on when I was feeling discouraged.

Eventually continuous togachako server drama ended up chipping away at my resilience (to no fault of the mod team – they are wonderful). I won’t go deep into it because it’s convoluted and not necessary to make my point. I’ll just touch on the two straws that broke the camels back after months of poor behavior that the mod team I was a part of had to mediate.

One day there was a comment someone made about there “not being enough new togachako fics after chapter 428 was dropped.” And that comment made quite frustrated since in my opinion at least there was a bit of a jump in togachako fics after the epilogue chapters dropped (I highly recommend this comphet fic and this fix-it fic oneshot). Also togachako writers worked FAST there was so much new togachako angst posted after chapter 428 that helped me heal from how sad I was about the outcome. Heck, I also posted an angsty togachako fic within 48 hours after spoilers for chapter 428 dropped.

Anyways, the comment made me feel like the work femslash writers were putting in was being underappreciated. Of course I get it that it can be tricky to filter for togachako fics that are more than a background pairing – but there are fics out there. Also, sorry to be a cynic here… I don’t think it’s realistic to expect as much of a boom in togachako fics as in summer 2023 where there were a bunch of new togachako fans whereas rn the bulk of togachako fics are being written by ppl who have already been togachakos for a bit.

I know that the comment was not meant to be a personal attack by any means but as someone who is a relatively prolific togachako writer idk I felt like the work I put in was being ignored. Not that I expect ppl who ship togachako to read my stuff because seriously there are a lot of togachako writers out there more adept than I am. It just instigated me guilt-tripping myself. I tried so hard to uplift the togachako community – I love making togachako rec lists and putting togachako recs in my author’s notes. I make sure to comment on togachako fics and read togachako fics regularly even when I’m tired and am lacking the reading/commenting spoons. Because I love femslash so much and I want F/F writers to know that they are valued and appreciated and how fucking cool I think their stories are.

So I fell down a spiral of thinking that my writing wasn’t good enough, that my efforts to uplift the togachako community weren’t good enough, that I wasn’t good enough. There’s a part of me that so badly wants to be like the femslash writers I admire – to inspire, motivate and induce brainrot – but I felt like I was failing. Like all the work I was putting in was pointless. All I could see was how clunky I perceive my writing style is. How a lot of my togachako fics weren’t innovative enough and kept treading the same ground.

And I really aspire to become the kind of togachako writer that avid togachako readers might recognize and be like “Oh samthehyena? That name sounds sorta familiar”. But that whole mental spiral just left me doubtful that “breaking into the ship” is in the cards for me.

On the other hand, I feel so privileged that Dear Google has gotten a lot of traction. It is such a privilege to have such a sizable readership for a togachako-centric longfic – especially since I know a lot of fanfic readers are apprehensive about reading longfics so I am so grateful for being given a chance and all the outward support I’ve gotten. I am so happy and grateful that I have a femslash fic that’s going so well – without it I would’ve reached the extent of frustration I am feeling right now much sooner.

Yet even though I have the privilege of Dear Google’s readership, I often yearn for more engagement with the bulk of my togachako fics. Because heaven knows that I’ve written a good handful of togachako fics and my femslash works in general that didn’t get comments at all or only after many months later – and I know it’s not all about the stats. That’s not what transformative works are I supposed to be about – I know, I know it’s supposed to be about the act of creation and exploring characters we already love further. I guess it’s just tough to put sth out there and hear crickets. I feel like I’m screaming into the void at times.

Added to that I was helping to run a togachako exchange for which a lot of people hadn’t turned in their assignments on time and we weren’t able to gather enough pinch hitters together. So me and another mod were struggling to crank out a bunch of pinch hits last minute. Writing four fics for that exchange was not by choice. I was already burnt out from doing too many fandom events and writing so many fics out of a sense of obligation rather than a burst of creative energy crushed me mentally.

Ultimately, I think taking on all of those pinch hits was a moment of clarity for me. The stress of that situation left me sobbing on the floor in front of my parents and I couldn’t even tell them why I felt so overwhelmed since I only talk to my brother, friends and occasionally my sister about my fanfic stuff. That’s when I realized that I needed to take a step back from being as involved with the togachako community to the extent that I have been for the past year. Because as much as I love the ship, as much as I want to do my part to uplift the femslash community, I cannot to so at the expense of my own wellbeing. Especially because the negative online interactions had made me start to resent togachako – and I do not want to lose my passion for one of my fav ships the way I did with Shindeku last year due to people behaving badly online.

So I took a step back and narrowed down the places where I exchanged with togachako to the online nooks where I did not feel emotionally drained. And I’ve been starting to heal a little. The new NSFW togachako oneshot has been really healing in that process. Because this fic doesn’t feel like a chore to write the way those exchange pinch hits did – it’s tailored to my tastes and I feel like I’m finally breaking out of the monotony that’s been present in a lot of the togachako oneshots I posted in the last few months. It’s starting to feel more like it did when I was just getting started with writing fanfics – everything was exciting and new and I wasn’t as chained to my comfort zone yet. So writing angst and smut when I usually write crack and sfw stuff has been challenging, a little scary but also exciting. And although the fic doesn’t exactly have many readers (yet) I still feel like it has value to people other than myself. The comments that this multi chap means a lot to me because it makes me feel like I’m developing a better understanding of people who like the same things that I do. Because while I do write for myself, I share because of a desire to contribute to a sense of community.

Sometimes it helps to remind myself that my favorite things I have written tend to be my femslash fics. When it comes to reading my own writing I end up being self-critical and I have a hard time enjoying the act of reading my works because all I can see are the shortcomings. The drafting process is what brings me the most joy moreso than the act of creating stuff I’d like to read. Some notable exceptions are my HungerGames!Togachako AU and my Bachelor!Inko/Midnight AU fics. They just scratch an itch in my brain and fill a niche I yearn for in a way that I can overlook how much I cringe at my pitfalls as a writer (mostly typos – a lot of typos). And even though those specific fics didn’t get as much attention as I wish they had – didn’t get the kind of traction they would have if they were M/M fics – I still love them to bits. And my favorite things I’ve written are something that ground me. A reminder that first and foremost my writing is supposed to bring me joy.

Despite all my frustrations, I don't regret taking the leap to writing mostly femslash. I appreciate Ice especially, my beloved supporter and enabler for all things femslash. Without her I don't think I would have been brave enough to switch to mostly writing femslash no matter how passionate I've always been about WLW stories. It can feel a little lonely posting F/F especially when the reader engagement compared to my M/M fics and even a good portion of my gen fic is much more limited. So seriously Ice I love you so much. I appreciate how you're always happy to Iisten to me ramble and you make me feel like my femslash writing has value and can resonate with people even if it does not always reach as wide of a readership as I would hope. You are my number one cheerleader when it comes to my fics and I am so glad to have you in my life.

So who knows what’s next? Probably no togachako oneshots for a while from me let alone event fics (save for the one that’s already written). But I still feel passionate about the togachako multi chaps because they challenge me and have stuff that is new and exciting to me that I haven’t necessarily read/written before. I guess for the foreseeable future I’ll focus on Knee Deep In the Passenger Seat and Dear Google because I’m still fixated on the stories that can only be told in longform rather than shorter oneshots.

And mayhaps I’ll even expand to other fandoms. Descendants 4 brainrot has been festering in my brain – there are some high quality femslash ships with enemies to lovers and tragic yuri vibes and I am obsessed. Also, since the movie literally came out last month I need to get to it and crank out more femslash descendants fics :DDD (cinderella/queen of hearts only has 22 fics when I checked yesterday so it’s high time i fan the flames of this precious rarepair)

[makeste]

BnHA Episode 122, a.k.a. NOBUHIKO YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN

THEY CAN'T KEEP LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH IT!

oh my god.

so first off, let's just get the one big major criticism out of the way: this episode was definitely not up to the same high quality standards as the first third of this season. and hey, I get it! you're doing 24 episodes in all, you're on a time crunch, and you've only got so many animators to go around. and the quality of some of these earlier season 6 eps (118 and 119 especially) was seriously some of the best this series has ever had. by contrast, chapters 284 and 285, while still easily ranking among my favorite chapters of all time, definitely do not go as hard with the visuals as some of the other War arc chapters (that very last 285 page being the one standout exception).

anyway so yeah, it was still a slight disappointment, but I'm fine with it. it does mean Deku vs Kacchan 2 will still retain its crown as my all time fave, but the real meat of this episode was never going to be about the flashy visuals -- it's all about that sweet, sweet character development.

two more very minor criticisms before I get to the OMG nonstop gushing part of this post! one, they did cut out this scene from ch 282 where Tomura originally had TWO quirk-be-gone bullets in his possession and Kacchan actually destroyed the second one.

YOU THOUGHT WE WOULDN'T REMEMBER, BONES. BUT WE DID. so for everyone who is giving Kacchan his well-earned love, praise, and admiration today, don't forget to also give him props for saving Aizawa's other leg, or whichever other appendage this doubtless would have hit. my boy out here lowkey saving his sensei from being ReDestro'd.

and then one final nitpicky little quibble, which is that the anime subtitlers declined to use the "Catch-A-Kacchan" translation, despite it being the single cleverest translation of all time, and by far Caleb Cook's biggest and most important contribution to the BnHA canon. alas, twas not meant to be. BUT ANYWAY NOW ON TO THE GUSHING.

okay so first off, we all know that Aizawa is an absolute badass and the most metal motherfucker in this entire series, and that Shouto has by this point all but perfected the art of swooping in to save the day at pivotal moments, and that the U.A. kids all need ALL OF THE THERAPY GODDAMMIT, and that Deku is a COMPLETE LUNATIC who thinks that HAVING FUNCTIONAL ARMS IS OVERRATED ANYWAYS. yes and yes and yes and yes. and if you wish, you can read all about my thoughts on these things and more, here and here and here and here.

but you already know what I actually came here to talk about today.

first of all, YOU GUYS. the music. THIS FUCKING MUSIC, THOUGH. they used the exact same OST track that was used for the "why was I the one who ended All Might?" speech all the way back in DvK2. THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE "TIME FOR NOBUHIKO TO FLEX HIS VOICE ACTING CHOPS" MUSIC. A TRADITION HAS BEEN BORN.

anyway so if anyone needs me I'll just be sitting here playing this scene on repeat until the end of time. no big deal though. I can quit at any time. not like I'm obsessed with it or anything. I definitely love this scene and this character a perfectly normal amount.

All Might talking about how Katsuki understood from the get-go about how OFA was a secret that could put other people at great risk really hits hard in hindsight. especially when you realize that Katsuki really did know right from the start, and he willingly accepted that risk with no hesitation, and he absolutely did suffer consequences for it (it was his knowledge of OFA that led to him following Deku and subsequently getting involved in this battle). and I don't doubt that he has absolutely zero regrets.

okay but can we seriously just talk for a sec about the way Kacchan's anxiety is practically boiling over when he starts to ask All Might about the Fourth's cause of death?? I feel like this is one thing that kind of got overlooked at the time in the manga because we were so completely distracted by EVERY SINGLE OTHER DAMN THING IN THAT CHAPTER lol. but hearing it again here, you feel how worried he actually is about Deku, and idk why but it all of a sudden just hit me so damn hard.

"I'm worried about him. you are, too." because that truly is what this whole conversation is really about. or at least that's the driving force behind it. behind this whole episode, in fact. it's simple, when you get right down to it: Kacchan is afraid that Deku is going to die. it's literally been the biggest fear on his mind ever since Deku unlocked SIXQUIRKS. right from the start, his mind was immediately going to the worst case scenarios. he immediately deduced that OFA might have a deeper connection to AFO than any of them realized (shoutout to Kacchan for being the original "Deku is a horcrux" truther lol. ONE DAY HORIKOSHI WILL FINALLY REVEAL THE TRUTH AND PROVE US RIGHT). he instantly zeroed in on the sobering fact that all of the previous OFA users died young. and as he reveals here, he took particular notice of the fact that All Might seems to be hiding something about OFA IV's death, and he is goddamn PRESSED about it.

and I absolutely LOVE the way that Nobu voiced this part of the conversation. when he starts to question All Might, his breathing starts to pick up a little, and his voice starts to get louder, and the words start to spill out faster and faster almost like he's in a rush to get it all out, and his voice starts to crack just a little, and he goes from not looking at All Might to hesitantly, almost fearfully glancing at him from the side, and then finally turning to face him head on with his eyes all wary and his teeth gritted like he's bracing himself for the very worst (because he is).

and then he finally just asks him, "was it because you realized something?" and then he takes in this achingly hesitant little breath before finishing with, "...about One for All?" and just. the whole scene is just SO well done. like, he's seriously so fucking scared about this, though. but at the same time he just needs to know, and just. oh my god. and Nobuhiko manages to emote all of this so clearly, and that is such a difficult line to walk when you're dealing with a character like Katsuki who's always so hesitant to show his vulnerability. he has to portray these two separate layers of Bakugou at the same time -- the part of him that is trying his hardest to be nonchalant and matter-of-fact in order to hide his fears and emotions; while at the same time also portraying said emotions which are clearly seeping through anyway, regardless of his efforts.

anyway so yeah. I could talk about this for eighty years and never get sick of it honestly but let's move on.

let me tell you guys, I've been bracing myself for this scene for two full years, and it still kicked my ass. THIS SCENE HAD NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE. literally RIGHT IN the feels. direct hit.

"he's always been that way." no, but guys. the regret when he says that. the way he states it with such simplicity and clarity. almost profound. this is just a truth of the world. this is just how Deku is. this is something that took him so long to understand, but now that he does, he can't fathom how he was never able to see it before. and then that ever-so-slight bitterness that creeps into his voice as he goes on to describe how he fucked it all up. ;_;

and then last but not least!!

"ijimeta." one word, in Japanese. it all comes down to that. and his voice gets so quiet. this whole last part of his speech is so quiet and so soft. but when he says this very last part, his voice wavers perfectly on that last word, and it just. sounds so resigned, somehow, but also just... almost faltering, for just a moment. you can hear the regret as clear as day, but you also hear the fear once again as he finally reveals this fact -- literally his biggest shame; the worst thing that he's ever done -- to All Might. his hero. just, damn.

anyway. so needless to say, despite my expectations being SKY HIGH, this scene absolutely met all of them and blew me away. as expected from the best fucking voice actor in Japan, according to me, a single lone person, whose subjective opinion is absolutely definitely not biased in any possible way.

back to the action! and Nobu getting to do his very best Deku impression lol.

can you believe this kid. one single nerdy analysis speech was all it took for him to start emitting such powerful Main Character Energy that even Endeavor got taken in and was just automatically following orders lol.

awesome choice of music here while Deku and Tomura continued to battle and Bakugou laid out his plan. you know it's good when they still manage to make you feel the tension even though this is basically just a generic action scene, and you additionally already know exactly what's going to happen.

I have no idea why, but that part with Deku's "Kacchan... my 'Deku' means 'you can do it!'" speech juxtaposed against the image of him going all out against Tomura with such fierce determination hit me like 100x harder than it did in the manga. I was NOT expecting that to be as powerful as it was. damn near gave me chills.

literally the only time I've ever been on board with the whole "FUCK YEAH, I'LL JUST BREAK ALL MY BONES AT YOU!!" deal lol. it literally makes no goddamn sense but this scene is just so raw.

THEN WE YEET THE ENDEAVOR!!!!

SO ON-BRAND. NO DEKU-INSPIRED PLAN IS EVER TRULY COMPLETE WITHOUT A GOOD YEETING.

and then the next few moments are some of the most legitimately unsettling of the entire series, as we have Tomura screaming at the top of his lungs while being burnt to cinders (and I mean, I love Tomura dearly, but I get it; he literally just Thanos'd tens of thousands of innocent people), followed by AFO's creepy fucking ghost hand reaching out all "LEND ME YOUR BODY~~~" which is a scene that absolutely NO ONE ASKED FOR but okay.

but then right afterwards though! when AFO finally did take over, and you hear that "TV shutting down" sound effect all of a sudden? and then the next few scenes with all the BKDK flashbacks are also weirdly TV-themed? I could not for the life of me figure this out at first, but now I'm actually thinking it could be a reference to the chapter 306 color page?

OR MAYBE NOT? I actually have no idea. anyway though it may have been random af but it worked for me, what can I say.

AND THEN THE MOMENT OF TRUTH AT LONG LAST.

THIS ACTUALLY IS SO PRETTY THOUGH?? LIKE I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT COLOR COMBINATION AT ALL?

AND IT HAPPENS SO QUICKLY!!!!??? YOU BARELY EVEN HAVE TIME TO BLINK?!?!!

oh. my. god.

THE WAY THE MUSIC SUDDENLY GOT QUIET. THE WAY HIS NARRATING VOICE CAME ON AND, PRAISE EVERYTHING, IT REALLY WAS DEEPER. THAT REALLY WAS THE ADULT HIM. SAME AS DEKU. MY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS ARE SO FUCKING MUCH RIGHT NOW.

AND THEN THE FLASHBACKS!! THE SCENES OF THEM IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!! AND GROUND ZERO!! AND THEN CUTTING TO THE TWO OF THEM AS LITTLE BABIES, AND THE TV SCREEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SWITCHING TO COLOR??? AND THE HANDS??? THE REACHING?!?!

AND THEN?!?!?!

"HEY MAKESTE, IF WE GO AHEAD AND ACTUALLY MAKE THE VOLUME 29 COVER CANON, WILL YOU FINALLY FORGIVE US FOR ALL OF THE HALF-BAKED PAINFULLY OOC FILLER EPISODES AND OVAS?" WELL, STUDIO BONES, YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN, BUT HOW CAN I POSSIBLY REFUSE.

AND THEN THEY FULL ON MURDERED ME!!!!!

that's right bitches. DREAD IT. RUN FROM IT. THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ARRIVES ALL THE SAME.

holy shit. and then THE END CREDITS oh my freaking heart. words can't even describe.

Studio Bones out here not resting until they've succeeded in making EVERY SINGLE PERSON feel the MAXIMUM AMOUNT OF SADNESS THAT A HUMAN BEING CAN SUSTAIN. their callousness truly knows no bounds.

anyway so there we have it! part one of the spectacular season 6 Bakugou Katsuki Redemption Saga. I laughed, I cried, I cried, I cried, I cried a little bit more, and then I cried a little bit more after that. final verdict: yeah, it was pretty good.

[teenandbeyond]

Hanta Sero x Reader

Since my Tumblr on my laptop was acting suuuper buggy* Excuse the quality.

(⁠☞⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)⁠☞(⁠☞⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)⁠☞(⁠☞⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)⁠☞

Want more from me? Masterlist

🩹Christmas Love🩹 (BNHA)

Warning(s): Fluff

Sero takes you out on a date or... You take him out???

🩹🩹🩹🩹🩹🩹🩹🩹

Before Sero’s knuckle could leave your door, it was open in a rush.

He jumped back in surprise, but couldn’t hold back the fond smile at what he saw.

You grinned wide, jumping in excitement, “Hanta! It’s snowing on Christmas! In Japan!”

“I know, can’t say I expected to wake up to it.”

You hurried back in to put on your cute Christmas coat and boots you liked before closing the door behind you.

He sighed, the puff of air visible with the chill, “Looks like our original plan won’t work with all this snow.”

Your grin was wide, “That’s okay. We can improvise.”

He yelped as you quickly grabbed his hands, dragging him along. Then he chuckled.

“I’m coming, baby. I promise.”

“Then put those nice thighs of yours to use and walk faster!”

✧*̥˚ *̥˚✧

“So, what are we doing first on this improvised date of ours?”

You didn’t answer, too focused on all the pretty Christmas decor decorating different places.

“[Name]?”

“Hmm…? Oh! We should check out the antique Christmas stand first!”

You dashed away, Sero having to rush after you.

“Hello, sir. You have such pretty things here,” you were looking with interested eyes after a polite bow.

“Oh, yes. I have old Christmas gadgets from all over the world here—I’m quite a collector, but I’m getting older you see. I’d like to let you younger folk gain happiness from them like I did at your age.”

Sero watched you look at everything with a soft smile.

He loved you so much.

As if you felt his eyes, you looked at him, only to shyly smile at the burning gaze and busy yourself with a Santa plate.

And you didn’t even know it.

The two of you hadn’t exchanged the ‘L’ word yet.

It wasn’t because he was so busy at UA, because you visited him every other day with special permission.

Or because you hadn’t gone on too many dates.

It was fear, he’d met you during the break before high school started. And you hadn’t known each other long before he’d gone through USJ. You were a rock he hadn’t known he needed.

You stuck by him. Helped him with his studies, helped him just get a break from it all, and comforted him after each villain situation.

He fell for you, it was impossible not to with how kind of a soul you were, and you fell for him.

So you made it official. But things were still kind of fresh.

So he thought it would be too soon to tell you…. ‘[Name]! I’m in love with you!’

So he just kept all that deep love in, letting enough of it seep out and pass as ‘like’.

Even though what he felt was so much more deeper and passionate than the simple feeling of ‘like’. ‘Liking’ was a boy’s feeling, he was a man that loved you.

But…what if you didn’t feel the same?

“Hanta? Are you still there or did you freeze from the cold?”

He snapped out of it, eyes meeting your amused ones.

“Yeah, just…You’re really cute right now.”

That look, so full of something you couldn’t place had you playing with your gloves. It was too intense.

“W-well anyway, I decided to get this,” you showed him your choice. “Let’s go!”

You zoomed away, but something caught his eye before he could follow you.

A gold carnation necklace.

“Ah, yes. It isn’t necessarily Christmas-themed, but I wanted to get rid of it.”

“How much is it?” he looked back up to the seller.

The elder man smiled at him, “Free of charge. You can take it.”

“There’s no way I could—”

“I know a man in love when I see it. Carnations are a wonderful flower to show that love with—and it’s old, nothing I can do with it. Go ahead!”

“Thank you.”

The seller put the necklace box into a pretty bag.

“Merry Christmas.”

“Yes, you too.”

You patiently waited a distance away, looking in different directions to find where Sero had disappeared to.

“Sorry, I got caught up buying something.”

“That’s okay! I noticed there was a hot chocolate stand not too far from here, let’s go there next!”

Sero just followed like the dutiful boyfriend he was, though he had to admit, once it cooled down a little, the hot chocolate was delicious.

The two of you continued walking, holding each other’s free hand as you talked about anything coming to mind.

Then Sero got bumped into.

“Ah!”

“Sorry!”

“Hanta! Are you okay?”

He waved off the person so they wouldn’t keep feeling bad.

You pulled him to the side to check his hand.

With the pout, you checked his hand, body hovering over it to block some of the cold.

“I told you you should’ve worn gloves…that would've helped a little.

“I wasn’t thinking about it.”

He watched as you took care of his hand, so gentle with him, checking how he was feeling.

You were always gentle and caring with him.

That’s why…

“I love you.”

Crap, did he say that out loud?

Your hands paused just as you placed one of your gloves on his wrapped hand.

“Uh, [Name] I—I shouldn’t have—”

“—Do you mean it?”

He couldn’t lie to you.

“...Yes. I love you so much it–it doesn’t make any sense. I love how much you care for me. I love when you’re so happy your face lights up. I love when you’re sad and come to me, wanting me to make you feel better. I love everything about you…” he looked away from you, “I know it’s kind of soon, but I just can’t help it. I–”

“—Love you, too.”

“Wait, huh?”

Your smile was soft and happy, “I love you, too. I had been hoping you felt the same way. I was going to ask you later today.”

Now Sero was happy, a bubbly grin stretching onto his face, “Wow. This is the greatest Christmas present ever—And I didn’t even need the necklace.”

“What necklace?”

He shyly rubbed his neck, “I, um—That man from the store gave me a necklace—A flower to confess love or something.”

“I’ll still take it. Just to be sure you really love me.”

“Of course, I love you! I’m serious!”

“I’m just teasing, Hanta. I know.”

“No. You need to be assured,” he went to attack your face with kisses.

“Stop! Your lips are cold!”

“Your face is hot enough to make up for it.”

“Shut up!”

“You loooove me.”

“You love me too, goof!”

[stillness-in-green]

Favorite Characters of 2023

Saw this meme template by @limayde and had to drop anything more productive because I Love Character Memes. I tried to focus on characters who particularly signified 2023 in fandom for me, not necessarily just my favorites in any given fandom, and certainly not my favorites of all time! So consider it a reasonable representation of what I read/was reading/was still thinking about last year.

(I'm also relatively sure I could fill this out entirely with BNHA characters, but if I were to do that, it would be with the goal of representing how much I was thinking about said characters in terms of Fix-It Fic(s) Brainstorming, rather than simply how much I like them. Yoichi would be prominent in the former and not present at all in the latter, for example.)

Anyway, after much painstaking cropping, here it is!

(A full list of who all these people are and a blurb apiece of my thoughts on them, as well as the meme template, can be found beneath the cut!)

Most Favorite Blorbo(s) of 2023

Lord Glück and Macht of El Dorado (Sousou no Frieren) – Macht's was the arc that turned me around on Frieren's treatment of demons—he’s so interesting, and so tragic, totally set in his ways while also yearning to change them.  Glück, meanwhile, is so devoted to his word, blunt in his assessment of Macht’s character but wholly sincere about trying to give him the knowledge and environment he needs to change.  My BF asked me for the spoiler-free version of what I liked about them, and the best I can sum it up as is, “A mutual acceptance despite the parts of each other they can’t understand,” and, “They’ve made each other promises that go all the way to end, to the goddamn end.”  Thirty years of that!  I am once again begging on my hands and knees for Frieren to get a second season, and also, if the universe really loves me, to end the first season with a tease for the Golden City.[1]

(I cheated a bit here; the central square is intended for a single supreme fave, not center-mounting one's OTP. I am, however, entirely incapable of picking one of those two above the other. Also, putting them both there does bring the character count to a nice even 50.}

1: A second tease.  There’s actually been one already, a reference to Macht’s enchanted jewelry, squirreled away in some on-screen text—one of the anime’s many additions to the background detail compared to the manga.

12 Characters vs. 12 Months In A Year. Coincidence? Probably!

(Starting at the top left corner and moving clockwise.)

Shigaraki Tomura (BNHA) – 2023 was the year Shigaraki Tomura got his groove back, thank heavens.  While he didn’t get much material in which to speak his own mind—really just Chapters 379 and 411, a full year apart (the latter didn’t officially come out until just a few days ago; we just got the leaks a week early).  We’ll see how he holds up going forward, but even those few scenes effortlessly demonstrate just how profound a waste of time handing AFO the reins to the end game was.  Here’s to not letting Heroes off the hook in the new year!

Iguchi Shuuichi/Spinner (BNHA) – Spent a lot of 2023 worrying about this guy.  Still am worried about this guy.  But him turning the tides of the war at the end of 2022 shifted the whole course of the battle, and new we’ve got Shigaraki invoking The Horizon to finally give us incontrovertible evidence that Shigaraki and Spinner have talked about more than just video games!  2024 is shaping up Spinaraki!

Yotsubashi Rikiya/Re-Destro (BNHA) – I provide fanart for this man because, of course, he was in the actual canon not at all last year, absent a single flashback panel from Hose Face, not at all making up for what a caricature that character was otherwise.  All the good Re-Destro content I was getting last year was thanks to @nickfoo’s wonderful, wonderful fanart of him.  Thanks for continuing to give this guy love, foo! (full art here)

Geten (BNHA) – Himura backstory reveal!  And that revelation accounted for the only fanfic I posted last year at all, as well as being super satisfying in terms of largely clearing Todoroki Enji of the responsibility for the heteromorphobic microaggressions perpetrated by certain of his children, as well as giving us some more hints about Geten and Re-Destro’s relationship.  Exquisite. (Now just let him have something to say that isn’t mostly there to Contextualize Dabi.)

Vamirio/Anne from Management  (Helck) – I reread Helck last year in celebration of its anime, and just to reiterate this again, Vamirio and her determination lead her to make firm stands and fiery declarations about her combat role and priorities that Deku has never even fuckin’ thought about.  Vamirio a best; vote Vamirio for Head of Management.

Samuel Murphy +Hal and Nobu (Canis: The Speaker) – Sam’s my favorite of another inseparable trio, probably because, at least as an adult, he’s the most vulnerable—not simply because he lacks the firearms or goons that his partners’ positions allow them to call to hand, but also because of his struggles with insomnia.  Whip-smart, observant, and well-spoken, and I always have had a preference for the smart ones.

Jasper (Steven Universe) – I started reading @faelapis’s post-canon Jasper exploration fic Something Better last year and absolutely fell in love with it.  It reminded me all over again how much I love Jasper, and how much I wanted a story that gave her all the time she needed to change.

Somei Yoshino (Yakuza Fiancée) – Last year saw the anime announcement and Yoshino’s totally amazing bathtub fight with Azami, which I guess there are cowards out there who didn’t like?  RIP to them but I’m different, I guess!  I’ll watch Yoshino break her terrible suitors’ fingers any time!

Wolfgang Grimmer (Monster) – Reread the back half of Monster last year solely because I love Grimmer and wanted to read his material again.  A perennial favorite, manga and character alike.  I love a man held together with scotch tape, stitches and good intentions.

Boutarou the Pirate (Golden Kamuy) – Probably not my actual favorite character in the series, but I finally got to see him in anime form last year after a maddening wait thanks to the delay in 2022.  Shiraishi’s best ship and a feral merman (look at the way he uses his hair and tell me I'm wrong) that someone unaccountably let walk around on dry land. A+ character.

Sailor Cosmos (Sailor Moon) – Speaking of characters with a huge wait on seeing them in the anime..!  God, I’ve wanted anime Sailor Cosmos since high school, and I’m thrilled to finally get her (and the merch that would accompany her).

Mitaka Asa (Chainsaw Man) – I read the first half of Chainsaw Man a while back, largely on the basis of @robotlesbianjavert’s enthusiasm, and while I enjoyed it well enough, particularly Denji’s assorted travails, I never got super invested in it because, not having to wait week to week for releases, there was never really enough time to get attached to most characters before they got unceremoniously offed.  Whether it’s the week-to-week wait or just that I like Asa as a character more, she’s really done the job of getting me interested in the series.  I love this loser failgirl and I want only the best for her; while I doubt that’s what she’ll get, at least I can watch her torture logic to make sick weapons and have affecting scenes about her own crippling inadequacy issues in the meantime.

36 Others

(As before, starting on the top left and moving clockwise through the BNHA Zone.)

Scarecrow/Spinner’s Number 2 (BNHA) – Scarecrow’s big speechifying moments would have been back in autumn of 2022, but I still loved him more than enough in 2023 for him to make this grid.  He was reduced to a shallow caricature and still had to get knocked off a roof because no one could actually out-argue him, and through all of that unendurable authorial laziness, his potential still shines through for me.  Stan the MLA, MLA 5Evah.

Toga Himiko (BNHA) – The only Villain whose Hero foil plotline is working for me on any level, though a lot is hanging on whether or not she, y’know, lives.  She definitely should have gotten to stab the bejeezus out of Hawks, and Ochaco should definitely go on the run with her once Apple Cheeks realizes that the HeroAca justice system could not possibly be relied upon to do anything other than throw Toga in a hole for a few years before executing her.

Gentle Criminal (BNHA) – The only redeemed villain whose regard for Deku functions at all thematically.  Lady N’s return is hogswash on multiple levels, but I will defend Gentle’s without reservation.

Kunieda + Aoyama Yuuga (BNHA) – Consider these two to be a stand-in for all the thinking I did last year about Fix-It Fic scenarios for this whole final arc.  For example, Kunieda in the canon speaks far too knowledgeably both about and to Aoyama for them to be total strangers, so why not plant some seeds for their confrontations earlier?  I ask the reader to consider this:

In a version of the Edgy Deku arc that allowed the rest of 1-A to get out into the world to help out with relocation efforts, they one day come across a scene of dread: a neighborhood full of corpses and Kunieda’s flowers.  Aoyama has a noticeably shaken reaction, which he plays off as just horror to his similarly horrified classmates, but the truth is that he’s got prior history with Kunieda—AFO didn’t plop corpses in front of his parents to intimidate them (because that’s ham-handed and silly), but bodies were still involved.  They’d turn up buried in the family's fancy gardens sometimes, always heralded by those vivid red-black flowers…

Frieren (Sousou no Frieren) – I was relatively neutral on the title character until the anime came out and I had to suffer through The Discourse about her attitude towards demons (arguments on both sides tending to be poorly considered and ignorant, both of canonical details and real-world relevance).  That made me a bit more defensive of her, but even setting my contrarianism aside, I was also very pleased with how she navigated the manga’s most recent arc.[2]  She’s maybe the first character I can think of who I have actively wanted to write Asexual Representation fic for, if only because my answer to, “Does she Romantically Love Himmel?” is much more complex than just saying, “No, she only saw him as a friend,” or, “Yes, and now she’s going to be sad about her Tragically Lost Love for the rest of her life and we need to write all the fix-it fics about that.”

2: She wants to go home!  Her feelings for Himmel, whatever they are, are of less importance to her than going home!  Despite everything we know about how she perceives time, she still values her “now” more than her lost “then”!  My gloating aside, though, I was far more affected by the sword scene than I was the wedding attire or the near kiss.  Being trapped in a wedding illusion?  Trite, overplayed.  Being trapped in a wedding illusion yet still being able to wrap your hands around your partner’s arm and faithfully guide them into drawing the sword neither of you can perceive?  Now that’s intimacy!

Heiter (Sousou no Frieren) – While I had little overall use for the aforementioned most recent arc of Frieren, I did very much enjoy my favorite member of the Hero Party getting a moment to demonstrate what being The Priest Of The Party That Defeated The Demon King actually means in practice.  Grausam being unable to put him down with an illusion?  Being the only one who could defend his downed companions?  The sheer level of trust he has in Himmel?  A little bit of vulnerability where he’s bare seconds away from getting gibbed by Grausam?  Heiter is the member of the party that we get the least amount of in on: Sein didn’t stay with the party long enough to serve as a point of comparison, and despite Heiter raising Fern, she didn’t assume his role in the new group, like Stark did Eisen’s, nor do her reminiscences about him get anywhere near the amount of screentime that Frieren’s do of Himmel.  So for real, you guys, Chapter 118 was so good.

Edward (Shadows House) – *bangs fists on table*  WORST BOY WORST BOY WORST BOY!!  Anime Edward is pants, but Manga Edward is where it’s at, always keeping Kate scrambling, always coming out on top of his maneuverings against his peer group rivals, just flappable enough that his victories doesn’t look effortless, and engaging enough that his smugness feels earned rather than intended to turn the reader against him.  I have no idea how the story is going to deal with the adult shadows, who are after all still just as brainwashed and wronged by Grandfather’s workings as the kids are!  If anything, they’re worse off, having already been manipulated into losing the “faces” they must once have loved dearly.  Thus, while Kate and her allies certainly approach the conflict with a very Us vs. Them, Adults=The Enemy mentality, the screentime Edward’s own affairs get, fully independent of how they intersect with Kate’s, along with an avowed desire to improve the House that parallels Kate’s, make me hopeful that the authors have something a little more nuanced in mind than, “Free the current victims by wiping out all the previous ones.”

Melinda Desmond (Spy x Family) – The main cast are all perfectly fine, but Melinda is interesting.  Super curious to find out more about the Desmond family dynamics, and I love Melinda bouncing around with Yor. (I swear, though, judging by the collective response to the most recent chapter, the fandom is going to turn me into a Donovan Apologist yet. Only one member of that family has visible scars suggesting brain surgery, folks!!)

Anti/Knight/Gridknight (Gridman Universe) – Always my favorite single character from both Gridman and Dynazenon, and he was characteristically great in the movie as well.  His scene with Akane at the end was only my second favorite beat because, while it’s wonderful emotionally cathartic (more fanservice like this, please!), it’s also kind of muddled thanks to the idea of Gridman!Anti and Dynazenon!Knight being two separate entities. Churlish to hold that against it, though, when it's so heartfelt.

Minami Yume + Asanaka Yomogi (Gridman Universe) – Such a great pairing in their own show—I once saw someone call them forced, which has always struck me as just being too high on Bashing The Hets to see that Yomogi and Yume have a great arc towards getting together, actually.  Seeing them be unabashedly together and happy about it in the film was 100% delightful and deserved. Yume swooping down out of the sky on Dynarex to scoop up her wifeguy boyfriend is my actual favorite beat in the movie.

Hyura (Helck) – Firstly, the dry humor around Hyura is fantastic.  (“Something like an arm grows back simply enough.  That’s just common sense.”  “It doesn’t, right?”  “It does not.”)  Secondly, she’s the biggest badass in the secondary cast.  Thirdly, she and Edil have the designated rival ship dynamic (incredibly rare to see across gender lines in shounen manga), and Hyura holds her own all the way to the end.  Hyura is great.

Mikaros (Helck) – “Yes, we may have lost some assets and I personally shattered the mind of one of our strongest soldiers, removing him from the playing field.  But the important thing is that I personally overcame my trauma, so overall it’s a win.”  What a slimeball.  What a total heap.  And what an excellent example of the end-stage stakes driving the title character's choice in the epilogue! I love Mikaros unreservedly.

Harold Aldo Hughes and Iwaki Tadanobu + Sam (Canis: The Speaker) – Transformation, reinvention, the fierceness of devotion and the ruthlessness of rebirth—I don’t love them quite as much as I do Sam, but they’re also both great.

Hera (Lore Olympus) – Lore Olympus is one of those series I read more because it’s interesting enough while also being blisteringly gorgeous than because I’m deeply invested in the characters, but the plotline about Hera and Kronos really has pulled me all the way into active, character-specific interest.  Great, tense, painful stuff.  Can’t wait to see where she goes following recent events.

Redcloak (Order of the Stick) – His last really insightful and heartwrenching scene was in the year before last—that fantastic exchange with Oona!—but for as long as I’m reading OOTS, Redcloak is going to be a favorite.  God, the Law Elemental summoning is so funny.

Hyness (Kirby franchise) – This one’s entirely on my sis-in-law—like another character further down the list, I am not remotely “in” the Kirby fandom.  But what can I say—tell me about a warped cult leader who started in a bad place and only got worse who still managed to get saved by the Hero taking a leap of faith that paid off, and tell me the fandom calls him a horrible abuser?  Sorry, but I Have No Choice But To Stan. (full art here)

Lafcadio Boone (The Sexy Brutale) – Replayed this again last year, and it’s still great.  In a sense, despite its sizeable named cast, it really only has the one character, and his story is such that I want to make every single person on tumblr that gets hyperbolic about the forgiveness and redemption of fictional wrongdoers play this game.  “Time to move on, old man,” indeed.

Sissel (Ghost Trick) – Finally got the remaster of this and replayed it, and it’s also still great.  Knowing The Spoilers about Sissel seriously make replays such a scream, but also man is this game really sitting on some completely over-the-top darkness not at all far beneath its candy apple red and Matrix-text green surface.

Pavitr Prabhakar/Spider-Man India (Across the Spider-Verse) – Strictly in terms of character writing, he’s very fun, but I don’t think he’s as strong as Spider-Punk or Miguel O'Hara, but on the other hand, he’s so much fun, especially to simply watch in motion.  Most of the rest of the leads, however varied their artstyles might be, still feel like they move in basically the same ways, just with varying levels of grace vs. power, intent vs. controlled collapse, but because of the way Pavitr uses his thread, he moves completely differently, and it’s just a ton of fun to watch.  The first character I went hunting for fanart of when I got out of the movie theater.

Gwen Stacy/Spider-Woman (Across the Spider-Verse) – I have outstanding affection for Spider-Gwen from reading her comics back when, but that opening Vulture fight, the fantastic look of her dimension, and all the trans signaling kept her right at the top, too.

Brutha (Discworld: Small Gods) – @codenamesazanka read this and a few of the Watch books last year, prompting me to do some rereads as well, and Brutha and Small Gods remain very dear to me.  I only wish more artists would draw versions of him that remotely resemble “fat, simple-looking young man from a desert country in fantasy!expy!Middle East” rather than “suspiciously trim and Benedictine.”

Sam Vimes (Discworld series) – Ditto on Nal’s read above, but also chatted with foo a lot about this guy, and he’s been my favorite single character in the series since high school.  It takes very little to prompt me to reread his books generally, but last year was the first time I’ve had it in me to reread Snuff, as it was previously a little too tied up in my feelings about the last few books prior to Pratchett’s death.  Regardless of anything else, though, Snuff is the book for Sam/Sybil.

Mina Murray (#DRCL: Midnight Children) – Discovered this lush chonk of horror phantasmagoria last year and I’m kind of in love with it.  Its take on Mina anchors it well—she’s smart and fiery but up against ingrained sexism and classism in her setting, and not too Anachronistic Grrl Power to not be hurt by that sometimes; she’s stubborn, but vulnerable to the supernatural horrors in the way any child would be.  An unreliable but intriguing and sympathetic narrator.

Capone Bege (One Piece) – The other character I got onto largely without getting into the series he hails from, nickfoo—whose art I again use to illustrate—does great work with this guy, a once-jovial monster shocked back from that moral brink by marriage and fatherhood.  Still gets a bit Into It at work, but tries not to bring it home, at least as much as that can be avoided when carrying both family and crew around in the same heart/sub-dimensional space.  (Also, foo’s version of Bege is great, but her rendition of Chiffon is—speaking as someone who doesn’t read the series and can only gauge by image search or skimming the wiki—borderline miraculous, accurate to Oda’s lively caricature design, but so much more sensitive, expressive and human.)

Prince Kazu/Lady Chikako (Ooku: The Inner Chambers) – On the occasion of the Netflix anime, I finally tracked down and finished Ooku last year, and when I tell you that I laughed more and harder in the final arc than I did through the entire rest of the series combined…  The Kyoto cast members are a big part of why,[3] and none more delightful than the stuffy, prideful, possessive, and deeply impetuous Chikako, one of the most singularly human characters in the whole 19-volume melodrama.

3: Catty ex-male prostitute turned head of the Inner Chambers Takiyama is the other part of this equation, by the way.

Gao Shun (The Apothecary Diaries) – Long-suffering stoics are my absolute favorite type, and that holds true even though Gao Shun's stoicism has been largely a humorous beat thus far.  I want this guy to get more attention, but until then, I will continue to enjoy his weary exasperation every time he has to deal with Mao Mao’s eccentricities/Jinshi’s enthusiasm about same.

Mao Mao (The Apothecary Diaries) – Best female character of the season, for sure, but I’ve been reading one of the manga for a while now, and she’s a regular delight.  Eccentric and ruthless by turns, painfully aware of the limitations of her position and yet wholly willing to make her own decisions and exert her own agency within those limitations without ever concerning herself with whether she should ask permission from or report to someone above her rank.  Mao Mao’s mercy takes the form of knowing when to speak and when to demure, and every time I see some stuck-in-their-own-ethical-framework commenter complain about her moral compass, I appreciate it harder.

Accustomizer Stud/Tiffany (Angelic Acceptor Alouette) – Enthusiastically resourceful teenage girl who would probably be super into transhumanism if she hadn’t fallen in with angels (sic) instead, transforming into the gloriously nonbinary pile of muscles and amazing hair that is Accustomizer Stud, Tiffany’s ultimate expression of her inner self.  Stud is magnanimous, gracious, and well-spoken, and they are also VERY LOUD AND FIGHTY.  My absolute favorite character in a game wall-to-wall with great characters.

Yuunagi Tsubasa/Cure Wing (Hirogaru Sky PreCure) – The first Official Boy Cure with absolutely no provisos or qualifications or ways to wiggle out of it, and the show gets him just right by playing him basically completely straight.  Has a costume no one would look twice at in a magical girl line-up, wastes no time on masculine embarrassment at his frills, with the only nod he/the show make towards his gender at all being to frame his role as being a knight to a princess, rather than simply a guardian to one, but it’s not really what he’s about.  His actual character is driven by knowledge, studiousness, and a desire to overcome the limitations placed on him by being a human/pudgy flightless bird fairy.

Kei Miyama (Go With the Clouds, North By Northwest) – Something of a stand-in for his series generally, which I read the two most recent volumes of last year and fell in love with all over again—particularly the most recent one, which switches deftly between depictions of shattering, world-hollowing grief and the beguiling intimacy of the rhythms of life and nature.  But my love for the manga itself aside, Kei’s a great protagonist, full of little contradictions and snags that make him feel much more fleshed out and grounded than your average animanga male lead, even as he’s running around doing very Animanga Male Lead Things, like solving mysteries by using his Strange Power to get information a normal person could not.

Lord El-Melloi II/Waver Velvet (Fate franchise) – Waver is possibly my favorite character of all time in any medium, so it takes very little to rekindle the love.  In last year's case, it took the Fate/strange Fake special!  Love to see my boy continue to wrest more narrative space for himself than he was originally allotted by virtue of being a run-away audience favorite of the Fate/Zero anime!

Ivan (Giant Robo: The Day the Earth Stood Still) – Got the remastered Blu-ray last year as a gift, and guess what?  I still love Ivan in all his cartoonish mini-boss villainy layered over the pathos of tragic loss and resentment.  Honestly, I can only assume he’s as well-adjusted as he is because Alberto is so inspiring to work in close quarters with (mood), because otherwise I’d think it pretty unfair that the sole surviving Bashtarle national in the story gets so little to say about/to the people who blew it up.

Isurugi Camice (Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans) – I was a bit too preoccupied with BNHA meta last year to think much about my prior fandom phase, but I still made time to rotate Isurugi in my mind from time to time.  As one of my beloved long-suffering stoics, I can always make that kind of time for him.  (Image source is from the cover of a doujinshi I have, because melancholy BL doujinshi is definitely more the kind of tonal zone my mental rotations were occupying than they were canon’s!)

And, finally, the blank

(If anyone reading this wants to give it a whirl, I reccommend blowing it up to x2 size; makes the small squares easier to work with.)

[sundeathh]

Hello honey, I hope you are still taking requests. Maybe angst with a fluffy ending 👀👀👀 Like old regrets and heartaches are replaced by hope when Aizawa and the reader meet again

Hey sweetie! For now I'm still accepting requests, but my inbox is starting to queue up, so I may close soon.

I'll probably take a little longer to write the ones in the queue since I need to focus on some things in my life right now. But since I've been having fun while writing, I'll probably come back as soon as possible!!!

Now, about the request itself, I left a few things unspoken so you could fill in the blanks however you would like, but I still set out a little bit of the plot. I hope you enjoy! ♡

.

WELCOME HOME

Request | Masterlist

Pairing: Aizawa × GN!Reader

Fandom: BNHA | MHA | word count: 2,7K

Categories: romance; drama; slight angst

CW: None I guess, though I almost cried while writing lol

At five in the afternoon, Aizawa is standing outside the dorm building, although he has no idea why he's doing this in the first place.

But in fact, his reason was simple.

He was hoping to make amends with the person who broke his heart so many years ago – he knew it would be a difficult task, considering all that you had gone through before, and the fact that you were still adapting to your new job.

However, despite all the obstacles, he decided it would happen today anyway.

As he stands outside your doorway, Aizawa thinks back to when you were just kids; about how you would tease him until he would be a flushed mess and poke him out of his shell because you couldn't stand seeing him alone while the other kids played with each other.

You became friends with him fast. You were talkative, easygoing, blissful, and so much more. You were everything good that he craved. And that was why you got along so well: he was the calmness you needed for dealing with your hyperactive mind while you were the strength he faulted, pushing him further to wherever he needed.

You did everything together, from playing hero and villain together through childhood, till studying together as teenagers. You went from two dumb kids that played with each other to two somewhat less dumb teenagers who got along too well. You would do anything for each other.

You also went to the hero course together at the prestigious hero school in Japan. 

You could even get married someday if he had asked you to.

Shōta sighed, smiling, though he felt sad as he stared absently at the wooden pattern on your door. He remembered how you used to cry so easily whenever you didn't get what you wanted from him as a kid; but wouldn't tell anyone, acting stubbornly around him as if the pain wasn't visible on your face.

On the other hand, he was always so dense. It took you a long time to finally break through his walls, slowly peeling them down until he started opening up to you. In the process, you made him realize how much he valued you.

It took time, of course, but you eventually succeeded. And Shōta cherished you dearly. He loved you in a way he didn't even know he was capable of loving.

Shota shook his head, trying to clear his mind before knocking on your door. No matter how hard he tried to fight and forget his struggles against it – he always felt the truth would come up sooner or later. 

And it came way later than he would like, sadly. But it didn't matter, he needed to know why you left.

He needed to know why you had left him as if he was nothing to you. Or why you ended things between you both before he could even say the words out loud.

It hurts to know you weren't together anymore. Knowing you could hate each other for what happened while you were still in high school.

He thought you wouldn't be willing to forgive him for what he did to you. And anyway, here he was: back to your feet, even though you also hurt him as much as he had hurt you. Even though he thought he knew better, or that he had gotten over you.

You were his first everything. And as much as he forced himself to deny it, you were also his last. He couldn't be with anyone else after you. And he didn't know why.

It just didn't feel right.

You were all he had, all he cared about, and all he ever wanted. 

Right now, however, this was not an experience he thought he would have to endure, nor one Aizawa ever hoped to relive again because, after you left, he buried his feelings deep in his chest.

That was why he thought he got over you in the first place. 

But he didn't. 

And all it took for him to realize it was seeing you again, walking as beautiful as ever through the U.A hallways, with the same grace you had when you were just another student walking there.

He was speechless. He was also static. At first, he thought he imagined things. Then, he thought he was confusing someone else with you. But he wasn't. It was you.

The news of your hiring as a homeroom teacher reached his ears only after he saw you there with his own eyes. But he hadn't spoken to you yet. He was avoiding you, watching you at a distance.

That is, until today, a few weeks after you started at your new job.

And when you opened the door, your relaxed expression faded at the sight of him. You weren't expecting him to come to you so soon. 

You weren't expecting him to come to you at all. You knew he'd must been mad at you and knew what he was going to say next.

You had prepared your mind to hear his scolding ever since your hiring – you knew he was working there beforehand, but you decided to go with the job application anyway.

After all, it wasn't like you hadn't thought carefully about meeting him again before sending your application. You were longing for it.

Anyway, Shota didn't say anything. Instead, he gave you a half smile and asked if he could come in.

It was the last thing either of you expected. But you let he in regardless.

The second his eyes met yours after you closed the door, he regretted coming there. The look in your eyes, the way you held yourself, and the fact that you didn't even greet him at all and just gave him a curt nod told him all he needed to know.

And that was all he needed to know. Because it was clear that you didn't want to deal with him right now.

There was still pain, betrayal, and sadness dancing in your eyes. But he also noticed something else.

It was fear, pure and genuine fear in your eyes. You had the same expression you wore the day you told him you were leaving: fear, sadness, guilt, and regret written across every feature of your face.

But that was all there was, and he chose not to dwell on the past, and instead sort out whatever he could fix up now.

He whispered your name. Your gaze immediately shifted towards his at the sound, and a soft gasp escaped your mouth once you met his piercing gaze.

His own eyes widened at how broken you looked. There were so many emotions filling your expression that he was sure you had never seen them all before in your lifetime.

He tried to speak, but no words came out.

Damn it. How he wished to just hold you again. But instead, he only stood there, staring at you. 

"Um… hi, uh..." you began awkwardly before clearing your throat. "Do you need anything?" You asked nervously, unsure about how to proceed.

And he only averted his gaze from yours, saying nothing else.

You sighed. "Okay. Have a seat, I guess." You said before turning around and walking towards your bed, without giving him another glance.

He hesitated for a moment but then followed in, sitting next to you. He tried to make it look casual, but it was awkward. And you noticed, so you glanced over to him, waiting for him to speak.

"Listen," Shota starts. "I'm here because-"

"Look, Aizawa," you interrupted. You saw him flinch at the usage of his last name, but he didn't say anything.

"I know." You said. "I know what you're going to say."

You paused for a moment, debating on how to proceed. Shota didn't say anything, waiting patiently until you spoke again.

"I understand if you are angry. I completely agree with that. But I didn't leave you. I promised myself years ago that I would never give up on you, and I still do, but-" You stopped yourself.

You didn't have any excuse, did you?

"We both know there was never a promise between us in the first place." He said calmly.

You bite your lip, colleting your thoughts. Aizawa knew you were holding onto some feelings you've kept hidden for years. It was beyond clear.

"Yes, you're right." You continued. "I am sorry for hurting you." You apologize. "I'm sorry for leaving and making you believe I didn't care."

He looked away from your gaze.

"And... for making you feel like I was abandoning you." You added quietly.

There was a long silence, but it wasn't as awkward as you were expecting it to be.

After what you said, Aizawa didn't seem as angry anymore. He seemed disappointed. Annoyed, maybe. At how long it took for you to admit to yourself how much he meant to you.

"Why did you leave?" He asked quietly, his voice calm. You sighed, feeling defeated – he wanted you to speak your mind, and so you did.

"I had no choice." You confessed, tears stinging in your eyes from the pain and anger you felt towards yourself, but you ignored it. There were more important things to focus on right now.

"I never wanted to leave you. I felt at home with you, but I had to go anyway. I had to... I didn't want to..." you trailed off as your voice cracked, causing you to tear up. He furrowed, worry etched on his face.

He wanted to pull you into his arms and rest your head gently against his shoulder, but he restrained himself. There was too much you still weren't ready for yet.

"You were my home." You whispered, your heart aching. "But you'd be too far away… because my parents wanted me to go to study abroad. They wanted me to follow the family lead and become a great hero like them. They pressured me to move away from everyone I cared about and take risks I wasn't comfortable taking. I- I didn't want to. But it was expensive for them, so I agreed, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to miss you every day!" You explained yourself through quiet sobs and sniffs.

He swallowed thickly as your hand brushed against his, and your fingers wrapped themselves around the hand he had clenched into a fist.

"My family... they had their reasons." You said. "But I didn't. I had no reason, and they pushed me and pushed me until it became painful to be where I didn't want to be." You laughed bitterly, your gaze blurry with tears as it drifted to the floor. "It sounds so stupid now. But I was young and couldn't choose for myself. So I stayed there until I could choose wherever I wanted to be on my own."

Your lips quivered as you struggled with your tears. "I'm so sorry." You said. "I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize how much you meant to me and for taking me so long to act on it. Sorry for coming back so late." You wiped at the tears falling from your eyes as they spilled uncontrollably down your cheeks. "I'm sorry."

Silence fell upon the two of you afterward; your breathing became uneven due to how emotional you both were. Neither of you had realized just how close you were sitting until you found yourselves practically pressed against each other's side.

Aizawa's attempts on holding back his feelings during all of these years caused him to break down in front of you – and this was the last thing he planned to do when he knocked at your door a few minutes ago. 

He didn't even bother wiping his tears away as you broke into uncontrollable sobs, finally burying your head against his shirt.

He didn't expect this, and neither did you. He was too shocked to react as the two of you cried together, but once you relaxed into him, he hugged you tighter than ever, burying his face in the crook of your neck, closing his eyes as he inhaled your so missed scent.

It almost felt unreal to him, having you in his arms like this once again. He didn't remember the last time the two of you hugged each other this tightly.

Tight enough that it felt like he could feel the way your heart pounded wildly against your chest as if it needed air.

All this time, he thought he was alone in this world. And he had convinced himself about it.

Because you did let him. Even though it wasn't intentional, even if you didn't want to hurt him. 

And when you were younger, when you knew you would have to leave for good, you gave in, deciding to put a small piece of yourself in the past without a care, pushing him away from you. 

But you didn't do it the right way. He thought he had done something wrong, or that you had grown bored of him, causing you to leave him.

That was why his dumb young self thought you had found someone else. That's why he was rude to you the day you had planned to tell him why you were so distant. 

But his thoughts made sense inside his head, especially considering how you acted towards him. You were suddenly so cold. So not like yourself.

The sad truth is, after everything he said and done to you at that night, he deserved nothing but the coldest, most brutal treatment you could give him right now.

But instead, he was receiving a warm, caring, loving embrace. Something so sweet that reminded him vividly of how things used to be.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, tears still dripping down his face. "For not being there for you and assuming so much from you. I shouldn't have done that." He added, pulling back just enough to make eye contact with you.

You chuckled softly before shaking your head, leaning forward. "There's no need for apologizing. I don't blame you for anything anymore." You said truthfully. He looked at you from the corner of his eye, giving you a reluctant nod. He still felt guilty anyway.

And it seemed like fate knew that you both needed comfort right now, so it decided to grant you what you needed.

"Shota," you started, your voice sounding softer this time.

You looked at him directly into his eyes, your gaze holding a pleading you weren't even aware you were wearing on your face.

"Can I kiss you?" You asked.

You were surprised by how quickly his body reacted to your request, his lips immediately connecting with yours. His hands then gripped onto your waist, bringing you closer to him.

His tongue soon invaded your mouth as he kissed you passionately, almost desperate. And you let him, not bothering to push him away. You missed his kisses. You longed for how he always felt so secure against you. You missed him. 

A small part of him thought this was a bad idea, that you would push him away again. But as he pulled back, you grabbed his shirt, tugging him into another kiss. One he returned with equal ardor. 

You pulled away slowly after a few minutes, your foreheads resting against each other as you caught your breath. You both stared into each other's eyes for a while as your smiles faded into grins – one of joy, happiness, and relief.

That kiss was only one step closer to healing, and even though your relationship hadn't recovered yet, you knew that everything would work out eventually.

You both knew it. You both wanted it. And it was enough for both of you.

And now, you were just relieved that he forgave you, knowing it was all worth it.

Then, he nuzzled your nose with his own before capturing your lips again. And you returned the favor tenderly, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

He held onto you firmly, and you couldn't help but smile into the kiss, content as he held you in his arms, feeling safe for the first time since you left that night.

A faint smile appeared on your lips after you pulled away, gazing at him.

"I'm glad to be home." You whispered before your smile widened a little more.

And Shota smiled brightly just as well, reaching forward to brush a stray lock of hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek with his palm afterward.

"Welcome home." He said back. "Thank you for coming back."

[princess-of-the-corner]

Now I'm interested, what are some of your favorite picks for the cast? Any choices that don't make sense on paper but you have an odd reason for?

Oh for the bnha pmd thing? Okay so they're all pokemon and like. I have. I have Thoughts™.

Like we brianstormed half of this ages ago in the discord and then I made a joke and we brought it back up and Aki is making their own spin on it now(I love this for you btw it's fun and I love seeing the overlap on our thoughts)

ANYWAY: Who is what pokemon!

So first off. All of 1-A are first stage evolution because they're baby.

Izuku - Oh boy. Short version: Mew 3 but thinks he's a Shaymin. Long story will swing back to it eventually

Katsuki - Riolu! I had narrowed it down to Riolu, Cyndaquil, or Mankey, all for appearance and vibes and some in the power category. But then it was pointed out that Riolu evolves through /friendship. and I just. The narrative there? Beautiful.

Ochako - Cleffa! They're from space!

Kiri - Sandshrew! I knew he'd be a ground or rock type and Sandshrew's a vibe and they're all pointy, but also because my AU has Kiri and Tetsutetsu as siblings I wanted something to fit both of them as they'd be the same thing, and main Sandshrew is ground but the Alolan one is part Steel for Tetsutetsu

Shoto - Vulpix, still a Chimera so he's both Kantonian and Alolan.

Denki - Pichu. Like how can I not he already gets the Pikachu jokes but Pichu is extra baby and can't yet control the electricity!

Jiro - Noibat! Just fuckin look at it!

Tsu - Froakie. Frog!!! Will eventually be a Greninja and look at the similarities!

Fumikage - Murkrow. Once again. Obvious choice.

Hagakure - Kecleon! Invisible baby!

Ojiro - Aipom! Monkey! Tail is a hand!

Sato - Milcrey but like. Big one.

Momo - Eevee. Simple but many possibilities!

Himiko - Zorua. Known for disguising!

Mei - Tinkaton. It just. It's pink and it builds weapons!!!!

Monoma - Smeargle. he copies things!

All Might - Palafin. IT'S LITERALLY THE ONLY PERFECT CHOICE

Recovery Girl - Blissey. Nurse pokemon!!

Present Mic - Chatot. I have to make the gay bird be the other gay bird it's a pmd story I have to!!

Midnight - Slazzle

Cementoss - Conkledurr

Power Loader - Exadrill

Nezu - Ironically, the one random Human who got yeeted into the pokemon world.

AfO - A VERY pissed off Mewtwo.

-

Going into the Todoroki drama for a second:

Enji is an Incineroar(Seriously LOOK AT IT).

Rei is an Alolan Ninetails, chosen because 1.) compatible with Incineroar and 2.) can make both fire and ice kids.

We're /kinda/ breaking some of how in-game genetics and abilities work for the kids to match their canon powers.

Toya is a Kantonian Ninetails but he got Snow Cloak instead of Flash Fire

Fuyumi is all Alolan

Natsuo is the opposite of Toya, being Alolan but having Flash Fire instead of Snow Cloak.

Shoto, as mentioned above, is a Chimera. So he got both the Kanto and Alola forms in one.

-

Swinging back to Izuku's bullshit: Basically Dad for One but with me yoinking from my other Monster AU.

AfO being a very pissed off Mewtwo. Has become the thing he hated and tried to make another Mew, resulting in Izuku. Baby Izuku ends up teleporting his ass out of there and is found by Inko(a Shaymin). Imprints on her as a mother figure and unconsciously uses the transform ability to copy her form. Inko does not know what happened there but that is a baby and it's hers now damn it. Izuku knows Inko isn't his mom but isn't aware that he's not a Shaymin.

[andypantsx3]

This is going to sound weird, but do you have any tips on how to gain traction as a fanfic writer? I've been trying for years and I get next to no interaction on my writing. I know I shouldn't care because I should be writing for myself, but it's still frustrating to see other writers get thousands of notes, and reblogs and asks praising their fics and I get maybe 20 likes. I've been looking into discord fandom groups but a lot of them don't allow people over 30, and I don't do well with busy groups anyway. I try to be active on my blog, and interact with other people and make myself approachable, but I'm getting so incredibly tired of talking to an empty space. Sorry, I think I ended up venting instead >_<

WARNING: DISCOURSE AHEAD

Omg hello my love!! First of all, I'm so sorry you feel this way! I have so many conflicting thoughts on this, let me try to get them in order for you!!

I guess, let me first start with some tips that I think actually answer your question, and then I'll just monologue about the ways I've been thinking about fandom recently, and you can skip that part if you wanna!

Part 1: Actual Thoughts on Your Question (lol)

I am possibly not in the best position to ask about this because I mostly happened to be in the right place at the right time, publishing my fics in the early part of the pandemic when people were more actively engaging in the fandom. But in my experience, outside of discord groups, other good ways to meet people and get your work out there are joining zines & collabs.

I'm not completely up-to-date with what the accounts are now that track these things, but there are several tumblrs and twitter accounts like BNHA Zines that exist to retweet & publicize zine posts. Look for zines that are in the interest check & application stages!! You can apply during the application phase and the good thing is that most zines will ask for an application piece and will judge you on your work rather than your follower count!!

Collabs are usually even easier because many of them are just open to whoever wants to join! I've only participated in server collabs but I've seen several posts cross my dash that are open to anyone. I'd probably monitor the collaboration and x reader tags on tumblr and join in on anything that looks fun!!

Another thing that I've noticed people do a lot is self-reblog their fics a couple times just to maximize their circulation. I've seen a lot of moots trying to make sure they hit good hours for different time zones and different days of the week to ensure their followers are at least aware that they've posted something if they don't have notifs on (I don't have notifs on so I'm grateful for these because otherwise I miss a lot!!). Even I have srb'd a time or two if I'm particularly proud of something lol.

And I think, if I also wanted to be a shark about things, I would try to get in on the ground floor of a fandom in its early stages!! For example, the second season of JJK is coming out soon and it's sure to bring a wave of new readers to the JJK fandom, especially for the characters like Gojo and Getou who look like they're gonna be the main focus of the season.

I think if you wanted to be extra sharp about things, you might time a fic release with some of the first couple episodes of a new season where you can be sure more people than usual will be poking around in the tags!! And if your fic is published during the early stages of a fandom, it's going to have more eyes on it overall than a fic published towards the conclusion of the series.

Anyway this is what I could think of. I hope this advice is practical and useful!! Now onto me blathering.

Part 2: Resisting Influencer Culture in Fandom Spaces

This part might be kind of controversial. I want to first acknowledge how easy it is for me to think and say these sorts of things when I'm already more than pleased with the amount of engagement I get. And I want to recognize that it is so, so deeply human to want recognition, community, and support for the things that we write.

I think it is so completely natural that you want interaction on your writing. All of us totally do, otherwise we wouldn't be publishing it publicly. If our work was truly, singularly for us and us alone, we'd keep it in the drafts lol. We put it out there hoping for praise and appreciation and connection, and in my opinion there is no shame in that.

So, admission time: I also definitely compare myself to other writers, and I have several times thought about transitioning more towards the type of content that drives higher note counts on tumblr: smuttier one-shots usually under 10k! I can see a huge difference in terms of just my own work on how my one-shots typically do in comparison to chaptered fics. And I definitely see how fast smutty imagines shoot up there in terms of note count.

But I was listening to a podcast episode recently on trying to sort of transition away from a metrics-focused approach to fandom. In the podcast, they talk about how in trying to legitimize fanfic as a literary mechanism, we've also sort of accidentally subjected it to our capitalist-influencer-mindset, where we see fic as more legitimate the more kudos it gets or the more followers it nets you, because in traditional influencer spaces, those followers are potential capital.

I'm definitely not saying you or I see people as potential revenue streams, but I think probably neither of us are immune to the culture at large, and we both probably carry some of internalized sense of our own value based on metrics, reach, and influence. And that sucks!!!!

Fandom, of all things, is supposed to be a specifically anti-capitalist space. We can't make money off of fanfic or fanart (legally, anyway lol), and we're all not the owners of the franchises either so none of our takes are necessarily more "valid" or weightier than others!! We're all supposed to just be trading stories around a campfire with no thought to their literary merit or monetary value. We're just supposed to enjoy the stories.

So, I don't know what the right answer is about how to try to resist the influences of our capitalist culture at large; I'm hoping someone smarter than me will tell me. But I do know that in fanfic, the value of your story can absolutely never be determined by how much engagement you get. Because fandom is not about metrics, and there is no inherent value in metrics. There is only the fun you had creating the story, and the depth of the connection you made with someone over it--even if that's just one other person.

And so I personally am at least trying to resist the lure of transitioning to smutty one-shots even though I think a lot of people would like that. Because what I like doing is writing my little 30k multi-chaps; those are my fave kinds of stories to tell, I'm not letting my metrics tell me what I should be writing.

I hope, at the very least, you know that your worth and the value of your story is not defined by how many other people have read it. And if you ever wanna chat more about this let me know, I'm still figuring this all out myself and could use friends to explore it with!!

[ofmermaidstories]

merm...bkg hunger games au....

okay so here are my initial thoughts:

1) im actually probably way too into the hunger games to be having this discussion lmfaoooo. im too into it, it’s too perfect, i love it too much. it is basically the pinnacle of all YA and i will fight literally everyone on that.

2) so with the first point in consideration, are we talking like a strict 1:1 AU? Setting it in New America/Panem? Districts with distinct specialities? Commentary about reality TV and modern entertainment entwined with like, the trauma that comes with war and trying to break free of generational curses and etc etc etc? RE: reality TV, I do think we could probably modernise that just a teeny weeny little, to include like, idk, some bullshit about how we’re always under constant surveillance and how we no longer have the time/option to be unavailable (because we’re so connected!). and since we’re like, apart of an actual fandom, maybe we could throw in some stuff about how our more privileged/sheltered audience members would engage in like, stan culture about all these dying kids, LOL. Shipping wars that ends bitterly because one half of the pairing like, idk, clubs the other to death LMAO. Real People Fanfic and the culture war that would come from that (people having a problem with RPF of the tributes bc they’re real people, but like also conveniently like… forgetting they’re real people who are being forced into a death match). would we throw in a line about Reader and/or Bakugou discovering self-insert Gamefic? lmao no wait i made myself snort, we’re absolutely keeping that LMAO. anyways im gonna cut myself off here bc otherwise i will ramble on, but that brings us to point numero-threeo—

3) i recently rewatched Battle Royale (a “random” class entered wins a yearly lottery then dumped on a remote island where they have three days to murder each other—all in the name of keep the status-quo, etc etc, also this is somehow a solution to sky-high unemployment rates etc etc etc.). if we kept the Quirks then like, you could spin it as a dystopian AU where people are fearful of quirks being too powerful, so then ya death-match children are pulled from hero classes and we make Reader end up in there accidentally or something, and oh no! they’re also quirkless (and defenceless hehe).

4) idk. i know i was like hehe i like war! but like, i don’t know how to emphasise how much i love the hunger games LMAO. and how that love sort of translates into the same fierceness i feel about BNHA, when it comes to fanfic—that the canon characters have certain inevitabilities you have to honour. just like no matter the universe, we are always going to need a Bakugou who’s centered around his friends (Deku, always, in any capacity. Kirishima, the first equal he had. Shouto, his frustrating Bestie <3), to me the hunger games works as well as it does because it’s war through the lens of relationships. Gale as the danger of unhealed anger, Peeta as choosing peace—like… that’s the magic of THG to me, and i just…… like…… what are we gonna do with the relationships, with a BNHA cast? 🥺 What would Bakugou be? Do we start with a Bakugou who’s still in Bastard Mode? Has he gone through his canon growth by the time he and Reader meet? If he has, then how was that facilitated in our new world? Did he and Deku end up in the same game? Survive together somehow? How many of their peers and friends do they lose, or does that come later on? How do we fit Reader into that dynamic naturally? the romance in THG happens through like, a need to play the game, play it up for the cameras, but it’s born out of Peeta’s very real feelings for Katniss, that started when they’re kids, and I’m not a childhood friends-to-lovers person (writing wise). The “romance” (if u can call it that) in Battle Royale is probably more culpable to what i do (vague awareness of each other/one-sided crush, grows as they prop each other up) but… idk!!! idk!!!! we could just write up Bakugou and Reader sharing a cave and making out over a festering wound but like…. idk!!! i believe in earning our kisses. 😌 show me the build up in the war-torn society first, and then maybe we can have a kiss later on, lmfaoooo.

[loveephia]

anime crushes i've had, why, and if i still like him or not:

neito monoma (bnha)

listen, he can be really handsome. 😭 and the fact that he's canonically handsome (WITH GOOD FASHION TASTE) makes so much sense. i don't like him as much as i used to, but i definitely still giggle whenever he comes up on screen.

keigo takami | hawks (my hero acadamia)

his new haircut in the later seasons had me screaming. 10/10. i made my mha oc have a canon celebrity crush on him, because yes.

shoto todoroki (my hero acadamia)

when i first started watching my hero acadamia, i actually had a crush on katsuki bakugo (which.. i will not explain, nor will i discuss why on this list), but eventually, i came to realize that i loved boys who were more responsible and aloof. todoroki is actually one of the love interests i've been contemplating to introduce to my mha oc.

tōru oikawa (haikyū!!)

i swear, he was like every haikyū!! girls' first love (it was either him, kageyama, tsukishima, or kenma), and no, i do not like him anymore. >:p

ushijima wakatoshi (haikyū!!)

honestly, he has moments that make my heart pound. the "my cute fiancé" work i did make me like him a little bit more. he was the first haikyū!! character i thought of when asked the question, "who would think their s/o's stomach chub is cute?" [next to that would be bokuto kōtarō and osamu miya, of course. (kita shinsuke and keiji akaashi, too!!)]. i still like ushijima, but just below kita and iwaizumi.

kita shinsuke (haikyū!!)

i don't think i have to explain, but i will anyway. something that wins me over is a man who would definitely win my family's heart after the first meeting and is God-fearing. gracefully enough, i have a headcanon where kita is both. also, i think my entire brand speaks for itself as to whether or not i still like kita. HIS NOM-NOMABLE CHEEKS.

iwaizumi hajime (haikyū!!)

i've always sympathized with iwaizumi since his best friend was someone so popular with the girls, while he kinda just idly stands by. i gradually grew more attracted to him because the thought of him being jokingly aggressive with his friends, but kind and soft to me, was so heart-melting. so yes, i most definitely still like him.

atsumu miya + osamu miya (haikyū!!)

right off the bat, i disliked atsumu. his personality irked me a bit, and.. his ha aai ii iiir rrr.. but i eventually grew to like him because i found this trope cute: whereas atsumu would have a lot of fans, but only pay attention to your cheers. also, may i just mention his TIMESKIP HAIR. THE SIDE SWEEP. I SCREAMED.

i started liking osamu after this one scene of him looking unintentionally cute, then when i saw his timeskip job, i thought about him cooking food for me. AAAAAAA domestic fluff >>>!! and the fact that i wanted to study culinary to become a baker furthermore had me tripping over /the/ osamu miya. i'd love it if while osamu owned a restaurant, i could own a bakery, and our shops would be close to each other. (,,> ꇴ <,,)—!!

toge inumaki (jujutsu kaisen)

i'm ignoring the fact that i literally reblogged a "missing inumaki hours" post a few hours ago. yes, i still like him!! he's just so super adorable, and the headcanon of him learning sign language makes me so soft and AAAAAA!! i'd feed him all the tuna mayo onigiris i could make.

xiao (genshin impact)

if oikawa was haikyū!! girls' first love, then xiao would be genshin girls' candidate for the "first love" position (it'd be either him, kaeya, or diluc). i don't like him as much as i did back then, but his fluff-fics are always cute. ^^

childe (genshin impact)

y'know, i actually was in the midst of editing my list, then i went, "genshin has so many characters, why did i only like three?" then i remembered my freakin' childe phase. >:(

shikanoin heizou (genshin impact)

i find his moles (?) so charming, and his personality is just very playful. the hangout event was what made me like him so much, and i very much still do.

albedo (genshin impact)

yes.

special mentions:

ranpo edogawa (bungo stray dogs)

noé archviste (the case study of vanitas)

kurapika (hunter x hunter)

shirabu kenjirō (haikyū!!)

levi ackerman (attack on titan) by the way, i saw this levi ackerman cosplayer in the convention i went to a couple days ago, and he was shorter than me!! (HE WAS ALSO REALLY FREAKING HANDSOME)