#that seems more like an emo thing

[bat-the-misfit]

the biggest crime the sims 4 goth kit commited (besides not including Siouxsie Sioux's eyeliners) is not including GOTH PIKES:

HOW DARE THEY NOT INCLUDE THE GOTHEST OF ALL SHOES I HATE EA

[girlivealwaysbean]

So I wrote this next song a few days before my nineteenth birthday. And, um, back then, I was so terrified of change, and I was especially afraid of growing up. And I'd, like, cry at all my birthday parties as a child. Very, very emo.

Now that I'm 21, I don't feel afraid of growing up at all. In fact, I'm really, really looking forward to it. And, um, if I could give any advice to the 18-year-old girl who wrote this song, I'd tell her not to worry so much, and that she has no idea how many magical, magical things are waiting just around the corner for her. So, uh, with that, here's "teenage dream".

- Olivia Rodrigo at the Guts World Tour before playing teenage dream

[stunfiskz]

if rouxls went through some sort of Modern Teenage Phase he absolutely would have been a theatre kid (although admittedly i don’t think he grew out of it lmfao). i just know he’d get cast as ensemble and throw the biggest fucking fit imaginable

[favvnsongs]

feeling emo about jilco lmfaooooo. the situationship. it wounds me

[sanjarka]

when i was younger this whole ''no romantic or sexual experience" thing made me feel deeply unlovable and it still does but in a different way. now i've somehow convinced myself that i'm not supposed to desire anyone like that. like it's not meant for me. it's me who can't love now. not other people.

[princessconsuelapark]

the 'i am thankful to be his padawan' to 'it's his fault i committed genocide' to 'he's like a father to me' pipeline <3

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

NOPE

NOPE

NOPE. NOPE :)

NOPE

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sadder than I have ever been

Okay that's exaggerating but

With a tv show one of the saddest xd

A MEMORIALLLLLL 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

I AM NOT OKAY

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU SHAUN

I'M SORRY I LOVE YOU BUT I DO NOT CARE

Okay okay I can calm down

About that at least

I swear Shaun if you focus on other stuff even to avoid your pain I will die

Yeah I get it Lea :'(( that sucks

And yeah I am sorry Shaun xd

Yeah

Ope???

WHAT THE HECK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS

OH GOSH that's awful o.o

Lim????

Uhhh not this time xdd 😭😭💔

Oh noooo :'(((

Bro he literally can't operate xd

Oh gosh this is all so chaotic 😭😭💔 not good stuff xd

Not gonna lie kinda angry that we have a big event to be focusing on when Asher literally just died but maybe it'll help distract me xd

Well

The Good news is

The Rookie couldn't possible go worse

Knock on wood

I'm just sitting here in silence

My gosh

Huh

Wow

Gosh xd

Okay, that's the last my last thoughts, now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

. . .

I really loved this episode!! I don't think I can ever watch it again xdd

sigh

I want to do this while my emotions are fresh (and it'll distract me) but also I don't know if I can bear to

Especially sitting here (not literally) in the emotions of it all

Maybe a quick one

Idk

He deserves better than that though also xd

Maybe quick with a longer one later?

. . . I want to just go forget about it

But I think I need to process it

Because I'm still shocked and denial

I genuinely did enjoy this episode. I thought it was really well done, and I really liked the storylines in it. And, even though I am absolutely heartbroken, I'm glad Asher at least had good final moments, and the drama his death deserved.

Here's what I'll say about what I knew.

This morning, I woke up and saw and article along the lines of "'The Good Doctor' kills of lead. . ." or something along those lines. I quickly swiped it out of the way and stressed xd. Later, another one came (and here's the surprising part that I did not mention earlier, I believe in my review of last episode) that said something similar, "'The Good Doctor' kills of. . ." (something along those lines) and then, under that, something like "Related to: Jerome Martel". Genuinely, the most likely thing I expected was for Jerome to die. I later saw another article that I quickly avoided sight wise, then covered as I scrolled by down to swipe the notification away. And I glimpsed a picture and Asher and Jerome. I really thought Jerome might die.

I'm glad he survived xd.

But I also believe I thought to myself "I'd rather anyone else. I mean, not Asher, or" and then basically thought of "okay I don't want anyone to die" xd.

Hh.

It's been 25 minutes since I finished the episode xd.

Gosh

Okay, a few quick things about other people

So, I guess,

Onto the individual parts

Dom! Missed you today buddy ❤️. Sure you're slaying, see you again soon :).

Shaun and Lea! Oof on the what's-it-called-ing Steve xd. It's rough and I think they may want to let up sometimes but hopefully it helps them <3. I also hope the complaint doesn't affect Shaun too much, but at the same time, he has been treating Charlie unfairly. Anyway, love them.

Charlie! Segway xd. I feel bad for her. She genuinely was doing really good, and she just made a mistake at the wrong moment. I think Shaun should've been calmed, but I do think she needed to learn that that was not the moment to ask. It sucks, I hate the feeling of being told that I need to stop because someone's trying to focus and I just made a mistake. But she needed to, and I think this is an iffy thing to push her over the edge and make a report. At least I hope the report is on other things, not that specific event. She had some good moments this episode though, love her.

Park! Not too much going on, but he slayed on the case :). It sucks the way it turned out for the patients :(. Also, him at the wedding was sweet :')). Love him <3.

Morgan! Again, not too much, though her conversation with Lim was hilarious lol. Poor Lim in that conversation xD. Of course Morgan's hears all the tea though lol. I also like that she defended Charlie sharing her story :). Anyway, she slayed <3. Love her.

Kalu! He slayed today too :)). Glad that he too- well, not really defended Charlie, but was kinda on her side sometimes. Like they said, they're looking out for the interns :')). I really liked the bit where he quickly explained and she was cool with that - I think it just shows that she can be worked with, if you put in the effort and listen and be patient. Anyway, love him <3.

Glassman and Lim! I'm glad they worked everything out in the end, and that it did help Lim with her mom :'). I'm thinking this was mainly for that, and also so Glassman can have someone to be with in the last season. I still think it was a funky thing to do xd, but I'm glad they're happy lol. And I think it's good what he told Lim, that she can start getting closer with her mom :')). And I'm so sorry for Lim, that she and Clay broke up :((. Her line about being alone nearly broke me (though don't worry, I just had to wait for later for that) 😭❤️. I'm glad it's hopefully going to get better <3. Love them :).

Jordan! Didn't notice till she showed up that she hadn't been there, but I'm really bad at noticing that xd. I thought it was a cool way, a good scene and stuff, of working her in :). And her advice to and conversation with Asher was so good :'DD. I do wish she was here, considering what the episode was and how close and Asher are, but I'm glad we got to focus on his relationship with Jerome. And that at least she was still here ❤️. Love her <3.

So. It's time. I'm going to talk about the rest of the episode first, and then say a little bit. Then, I'm going to go cry a bit more probably, maybe have emo thoughts, and distract myself before I go to bed xd.

Asher and Jerome!! Y'allll I loved the content we got for them this episode :'DD. I mean I hate a fight but, hey, I love angst too lol 👀 xD. Still, I love any screen time for them <3. I certainly didn't agree with Asher's wildin opinions in the beginning xD, but I was still having a fun time. And I'm glad everything worked out (regarding the fight and that stuff). Asher helping with the wedding was so sweet 😭😭😭💔❤️❤️🥺🥰. And the talk he had with the rabbi :'DD :')). I loved that, I know that feeling <3. Also AAAHHHHH their kiss after the wedding 😭😭🥺❤️. I'm not okay <3. At least they got a kiss at a wedding :')). Where the arch thing was and everything xd. Random note that I mentioned in the liveblog, I love that they cook together so much. Anyway, AAAHHHHHH JEROME WAS GOING TO PROPOSE!! HE WAS HIDING THE RING!!! AAAAAHHHHHH :DDDD WHOO 🥳🥳🥳🎊🎉🎂🎂🎂🎂!! Asher found it too 🥰🥰🥰. He was stressing, aww poor babey <33 :'(, but I'm glad he finally made peace with it and made his decision :')). Also, regarding. . . everything, I'm glad that he knew <3. Also, Asher immediately going to get Jerome a bandaid was so good <3. Loved it :')). They were seriously so good this episode, it was great :'D. I love them so much <333.

Now.

The stuff xd

I was freaking out at the end. Until that yelling (even for a half second into it), I thought it would be Jerome. I was honestly terrified as well that it was a mislead and it still would be. But even more scared for Asher.

I like that he came full circle. I think he deserved that. Deserves.

I read a few articles after finishing the episode, and one, I think something from a writer, said "His last line is "I am a Jew. A gay one, too, and I'm calling the cops" " (or something like that). That he finally truly accept both parts of himself. I'm really proud of him for that, and I'm glad that's how it ended for him <33. It also makes me think of how his literal first line was about that very thing. He grew up Hasidic, before he decided that "if there was a God, He was nothing but a cruel being that I held nothing but contempt for". Then he says "That's when I started going to medical school. And also dating men". Or, something along those lines for all of that. I like the symmetry.

I do appreciate the commentary of it being a hate crime. We as queer people, and Jewish people (though I am not Jewish) are still facing so much bigotry. But I do kinda of wish that I didn't have to see it in the show as well. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I like to just feel that catharsis, and sometimes I just want to see the good sides. That it's not a tragedy.

Like I've already said though, I do appreciate that it got the drama it deserved. Asher went out fighting for what's right, accepting himself, and standing up for people. That's kind of what he's always been about :'). He also went out with an episode that focused largely on him and his journey, along with his relationship, and he got a good music moment at the end lol. Not to mention the angst of it all. And, of course, in the next episode his funeral. Though I do wish there wasn't a huge emergency as well. But (especially with the description specifically saying they'll all be dealing with their personal tragedy as well), it should be interesting to see at least. And again, it'll distract me and then xd. I just think it would also be interesting to see them trying to go through their normal lives as if this huge thing didn't just happen.

Also, something more lighthearted lol, imagine being at a funeral and then half the guests get up and leave 💀. Even knowing they're doctors it's awkward xD, especially since they're some of the people who cared the most about him (😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔❤️❤️❤️❤️). But it's like, that's what happens when you're a doctor xD. I just find it kind of funny lol.

Anyway. I think, if he had to die, Asher went out the best way he could here. At least he was fighting for something, unlike the tragedy of Melendez's pointless death. It's still absolutely heartbreaking, but that does bring some comfort <3.

Also, in those articles, I saw that the reason Asher was killed off is apparently because Noah Galvin wanted to move on from the show.

I love you sir but I am kinda angry xD.

Nah but for real, I do understand it, and I'm happy he gets/got to go back home and stuff, but I am like ". . . it's the last season" xD. Maybe he asked before it was cancelled lol, I don't know. If that's the case that kinda upset some more, because he might have been willing to stay for just like 5-19 more episodes xd. Anyway, slightly salty about that lol (how could you do this to me Mr. Galvin <33 😭😭😭😭💔💔❤️❤️ :')) :'(( ), but I am happy for him. And he's had a great run on this show, as has Asher <33.

. .

I want to say a little bit.

I know I've said a lot xd, but something specific.

I wish Asher was still alive.

I know that's obvious, and it makes sense, but there's layers to it xd. Yes, he was my favorite characters (nearly said one of lol - he is, but my favorite in the show). Is, that is. Yeah, correcting the opposite way of what you'd expect there lol. Anyway. Yes, he was my favorite, and I absolutely wanted him and Jerome to get married. It was something I was sad about missing with the cancellation, but apparently we could have had it (which I did think of earlier xd). Or at least the engagement xd. We really tried on that one lol - we were so close xd. But, I also just wanted him to live. And I wanted to continue seeing him xd :(((. I still do.

But beyond all that, Asher means something to me. Every character in anything I love does, but he is a very specific character.

He's a character I don't have anywhere else.

We are not exactly the same. But I don't think I can express the importance to me of a queer religious character. Even though he scorned religion, even though he was no longer practicing, it meant something to me. I said a lot, especially in this episode, that I understand it. I do. I understand questioning if you can live your life in your religion and be queer. I understand doing more research than most cishet people ever have to do, finding the scriptures that cry your acceptance and not your punishment. I have watched my religious community on Tumblr receive disgusting death threats because of what we believe. I have heard my religion made fun of my friends. I have fought to defend myself and my culture and my beliefs at every turn, from queer people and religious people and people in between. I have hidden and kept quiet because I was scared.

I am very proud of Asher for what he did.

And I hope that, if I were in the same situation, I wouldn't hesitate.

But especially after an episode where I was starting to see a character that I could maybe relate to even more. A queer character who wanted to keep religion in his life, who was going to maybe re-explore it. After that, I mourn him even more.

There will never be another character that can replace Asher for me. And that, at least, is an honor to him.

Thank you Noah Galvin for giving us this beautiful, wonderful character over all these years. About 3 or 4 now, gosh xd. I truly appreciate it, more than you could ever know.

And I thank you to the writers and everyone else on The Good Doctor. Even if I am not happy with Asher's death, I have been given storylines of him for 4 seasons. I miss him already, but at least I have the time we had <333.

Asher is a passionate, strong-willed, brave, often inexperienced, and caring character. All of that is a part of him, and all of it is important to me. I love him so much 😭😭😭💔❤️ <3. And there is truly not another character like him :'). I will truly miss him, so, so much <33.

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode. I also despised it with my entire being and will not be able to rewatch that horrific ending for years xd. But I'm glad he got what he did, plot wise and drama wise. I know I've already said it a thousand times, but Asher deserves that. He deserves drama, horrific, even if I do want him to have nothing but happiness. He deserves that, he deserves to live, but he deserves to go out with the importance that he had, and I'm glad he did <3. I understand losing someone close, and I am absolutely devastated for everyone else as well :'((. I'm scared and kind of excited (for the angst and the catharsis lol) to see how everyone reacts and copes next episode. If they show me the immediate aftermath I will die, but I will love it. I will also despise it, so I'm glad that I don't think they will xd. Loves everyone this episode, I hope the Shaun and Charlie stuff gets worked out soon, and I'm glad the Lim and Glassman stuff started getting sorted out <33. And you know what? I'll say it. Asher and Jerome got engaged :')). I'm so happy for them <3. AAAHHHHH YAYY WHOOOO 🥳🥳🥳🎊🎂🎂🎂🥰😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺🥺❤️🥰🥰. Because I can celebrate their love if I dang want to. I'm gonna miss them so much <333 😭😭😭😭🥺💔💔💔💔💔❤️❤️❤️. Nonetheless, it was a really good episode. I really loved Asher planning the wedding and the conversion ceremony, it was just so sweet of him to do that :'). And seeing him connect with his roots was great <3. I'm glad the ending- no autocorrect. no. . . lol. I'm glad the wedding worked out :). Everyone was great this episode <3.

So yeah! I absolutely loved this episode, it was so amazing. I also hate it and will never forgive it and them lol. Still, I'm hanging onto that engagement! I am so devastated and excited for the next episode. This has been my review of. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 7, Episode 5: Who at Peace

It was so beautiful. The next episode looks super interesting, and emotional, so I am excited to see it! I think it'll be really good. I'll be back here next week with my review of. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 7, Episode 6: M. C. E.

See you next week!

[icewindandboringhorror]

Very strange outfit that is sort of like.. a mix of my current style (pattern mixing, pom poms, fun sandals) combined with how I dressed when I was like 10 years old. The stereotypical skelanimals hoodie vest and the skull t-shirt lol.. 

[arundolyn]

i don't really know how to articulate this super clearly but i really appreciate that like. kuon conceptually with the 8 floaty swords behind him could very easily have turned out like a murakumo knockoff and im impressed by how visually and stylistically distinct he is. its really nice

[withleeknow]

.

[korumiis]

scene vs scenecore?? like whatt r ur thoughts since u draw a lot of that stuff ???

personally, listen, i think scenecore is purely an aesthetic and completely different than scene and its very evident when i see newer playlists for scene music. like they capture the aesthetic well without it being actually scene if that makes sense. i cant say too much otherwise since i didnt grow up with its scene as much as others cause i was def more of an emo, but i did grow up with its music

either way tho, just have fun, labels suck (tho i do get annoyed when things r mislabeled)

my art has been called posercore too but i always include scenecore to them bc thats what it mostly was, scenecore :p canttt say im not bothered by it but no mattter what u are, you will get called a poser so likeeee just live life have fun, theres more important things to spend ur time on (i say as i spend time writing this)

[death-rebirth-senshi]

"Morgana...you were like a mother to me! I just...wanted to make you proud."

[lokiinmediasideblog]

.

[seraphdreams]

JJK MEN AS YOUR PERSONAL TRAINER. | TOJI FUSHIGURO, GOJO SATORU, CHOSO KAMO, SUGURU GETO.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 — synopsis. having private sessions with the men prove to be an experience. what type of trainer are each of them?

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 — cw. smut, edging, degradation, praise, dry humping, fellatio, switch!choso, overstimulation, emo boy!choso, cervix fucking, unprotected sex, they are all whores. mdni <3

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 — word count. 3.1k

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 — dolled up! oh em gee ?? headcanon format ? yup! i originally wrote this as a little joke since i started pilates but then my mind wandered and it wasn’t a joke anymore. other than that, ino was supposed to be on the list but he couldn’t make it :( something about being busy .. regardless, comment / reblog if u like ! it would make my day, thank u ♡

TOJI — THE CORRUPT TRAINER.

there must’ve been a clear distinction as to why your trainer only allowed sessions from 9pm up until midnight, but your desperation when it came to relentlessly searching for a personal trainer didn’t leave enough room in your mind to think deeper about the true nature of its shadiness. all you needed was a spotter, and toji’s services claimed to provide just that.

and what happens when you combine height, a monsterous build, superhuman stamina, and a handsome face? well, you get toji fushiguro in all his abhorrent glory.

his chiseled body virtually doubled your frame with biceps the size of your head, shoulders wide enough to emphasize the narrowness of his waist, and veins crawling up his limbs even when the muscles weren’t flexed. a mean looking man with a scar over his mouth like some battered veteran. whatever he got into during the day was truly nothing you’d want to take part in.

inviting him over to your home gym was one thing, but it was looking to be another when his “help” took the form of sensuality; his large hands running along the back of your thighs when he’d seemingly fold you over with your legs on either side of your head for warm-up stretches, or even the occasional groping of your ass when it came down to squats, he was barely doing his job, what you paid a hefty price for, and yet you loved every bit of it.

“c’mon, you can take more of it, cant’cha?” toji’s gruff voice goads, watching the way your tiny cunt struggles with swallowing the head of his wrist-thick, bulbous cock. you were put in the awkward position of doggy, yet another one of his sessions derailed and he deemed this new workout could help you build up some much needed endurance. you were going to need it if you planned on keeping him around.

it surely seems that way when you’re practically running from the pleasure he pistons into you, thick cock kissing your cervix with each skillful, angled thrust of his. large hands were wrapped around your waist, keeping you in place for him — because if there was one thing your personal trainer was strict about, it was form. and your form was beyond perfect.

“‘s just too good.” you mindlessly whined, attempting your hardest to grip onto the thin cushion of the yoga mat beneath you. toji lets out a deep scoff at your vocables, driving his hips against your ass once more, this time a bit sharper with a hint of fervor as its aftertaste. “and you’ve been training with me for how long now?” his question came out in a mocking tone as his lips stretched wide in a crooked smile, that of a statement rather than a query.

“t-two weeks .. fuck.” you respond, mind going hazy from the gaining intensity of his potent movements. the feeling was all too much, it came as no surprise when pleasure began to surge from your spine to coil at your core, building up that high you've been chasing for the past hour, that grumpy ol’ toji continued to rip away from you.

pressing a heavy hand to the small of your back, he arches you forward, groaning at the sight of how swiftly you position yourself for him, your face pushed against the mat.

maybe his training has paid off. . “two weeks and you’re still struggling to take my cock?” he pulled your hips back against his, leaving you defenseless in the ministrations. “guess i need to train this pretty little hole of yours more often.”

with the end of his sentence, he snakes his thick arm around your waist, the pad of his thumb finding your achy, puffy clit, rubbing the nub in tight, harsh circles. if your moans weren’t already loud enough, you were sure the whole town could hear you by now, crying out his name like no tomorrow while your legs trembled with your impending orgasm. “‘m cumming! so hard!” you cry, drooling into the mat as he fucks you through your orgasm.

it wasn’t until soon after that he finally reached his high, sending hot and sticky ropes of cum into your womb. not once had a session with toji ended with him shooting his cum in a more responsible way, with a rubber. it was clear to you since the very first time you allowed his fantasies to come to fruition — toji didn’t believe in condoms.

your body went lax as soon as he pulled out, and he tucked his cock back into his pants, hovering over your sad frame with an amused smirk on his scarred lips.

“good session. i expect $800 wired to my account by the mornin’.”

GOJO — THE ENABLING TRAINER.

when you first showed up to the private room of your local gym in search of your assigned instructor for the night a.k.a “the strongest,” you were expecting some big burly man with a cocky attitude — someone you didn’t particularly get along with. but much to your surprise, instead, he was handsome; fluffy white strands of hair that strayed upwards and a million dollar smile with just the charisma, the charm to back it up.

gojo stood over 6 feet tall, and although he was on the lankier side, there was no denying the lean muscles that peeked through his skintight black top. he smiled, throwing a loose cloth over his broad shoulders.

“you ready to get started?”

your eyes greedily took him in, scanning over the finer details of his gorgeous build. it wasn’t until about thirty seconds of daydreaming about what he’d look like unclothed that you finally gave him a response in the form of a nod and hum.

of course satoru wasn’t an idiot, he could tell from how dazed you were during the first few minutes of instruction that you were focused on something else, not that he minds though, it’s truly an honor that a girl as pretty as you is capable of fawning over him, just as many others do.

after having to shake your thoughts whenever it came to watching him take a large swig from his water, droplets of the liquid streaming down his chin to graze his prominent adam's apple, or the soft appraises he’d coo when you finally got the hang of his workouts, it was the end of yet another vigorous session with him, sweat dripping from your chin down to your chest that was scantily clad in a baby pink sports bra. you held on taut to your water bottle as satoru carried conversation with you.

“you improved so much in just an hour. i’m proud.”

his praises barely reached your ears before you looked at him with adoration glossed over those pretty eyes — there was something about him that you just couldn’t get over, but you knew you needed him badly. you dabbed perspiration from your forehead with a matching pink towel, soft smile forming on your doll-like features.

“thank you,”

he nods his head slightly before starting, “you seemed a bit distracted today, though. something on your mind?” his query pulled you from your gojo-induced hypnosis, causing you to blink away the embarrassment pooling up within you. were you truly that obvious?

“hm? there’s nothing, i’m fine,” your reply came out low and sheepish while your eyes struggled to find anywhere else to settle besides those bright baby blues. he took it upon himself to inch closer to you, studying your features until you gasped softly once your back hit the wall. “nothing?” he asks for confirmation, and you affirm. “nothing.”

“all you gotta do is use your words if you need me.”

gojo’s hands found their way at your thighs, creeping them upwards underneath the thin spandex of your shorts. his touch felt hot against your skin, each brush of his fingertips along the expanse of your inner thigh causing shivers to trickle down your spine while he watched with mirth at your pitiful attempt to keep your whines at bay.

“i think .. i think i need you.”

with that, satoru smirked and lifted your leg up just enough so that it fell over his arm. his lips met yours with a salacious that only the whorest of whores could possess, skilled tongue angling its way inside your mouth to gently clash with yours in the sweetest harmony that had you buckling underneath the frame of his body.

it must’ve been a spur of the moment when you found yourself rutting your hips up in search for satoru’s, a pitchy moan sounded into the kiss when he matches your ministrations, grinding his sweatpant clad and half-hard, leaking length into the seat of your shorts; creating the most delicious sensation as the tip nudged against your clit.

his free hand took purchase at your cheek, his thumb rubbing ever so gently against the heated skin while his movements increased in greediness. your mind’s too hazy to make out anything besides the pleasure and build up of your orgasm — so much so, that it pulled you back to reality as soon as it hit, your sloppy kisses coating gojo’s soft lips in a thin sheen and the seat of your shorts sopping wet from the release of your high.

yet, gojo kept at it until he too came to a falter, cumming an ample amount in his sweats while groaning deep into your mouth. he separated from the kiss for just a split second before he took it upon him to goad,

“we can add 30 more minutes and i’ll give you more than just a taste.”

CHOSO — THE INTIMIDATING TRAINER.

a pierced tongue, some tattoos running along both veined arms, and a deep, monotonous voice were a recipe for your timidness when it came to the kamo, who you’d invited over for your very first home training session. it didn’t help that he was on the quieter side, responding to whatever small talk you’d make with one or two words while his intense eyes would follow every move you’d make as he’d help with your form.

he truly wasn’t a bad guy, or so you thought. even now, during your session with him, his praises were appropriate, he wasn’t too handsy nor did he seem to have any ill intent; being with him felt surprisingly comfortable and refreshing just as the crisp, cold water you two were currently drinking, made fresh from your refrigerator’s tap.

“was it too intense?” he’d asked in regard to the exercises you had just completed. intense was an understatement, you didn’t know how you could move your body in such ways that you did, which wouldn’t have been possible without his expertise. choso set the chilled glass of water down onto your coffee table, feeling coy from sitting on your couch, something he’d never done even with his regulars, and in response, you shook your head at the query, settling yourself by his side.

there was truly no denying how absolutely stunning you were, like some angelic being brought to him from the heavens up above in the form of the sweetest thing he’s ever met. he was afraid that if he blinked too hard, you’d vanish.

the more his eyes focused on your lips when you talked, how you’d massage the sore muscles of your thighs and even let out cute whines because of the fact, the more he found it harder to contain his thoughts, rapidfire in his mind. those perverted thoughts that only some horny teenager could have, not a well off adult like him.

yet, it wasn’t enough to stop him from getting hard in his sweats, a dark grey patch spreading at the crotch, what he’d hoped you’d mistake as spilt water.

“shit,” with that of a husky sigh, he ran his hand over his face, tinges of pink battering the tattooed scar across his nose and cheeks. “i’m sorry.”

oblivious to his situation, you were quick to express your inquiry. “sorry about wh- oh.” the head of his cock practically peeked through the barrier of the hem of his sweats while he made a futile effort to cover himself with one of your pillows once you had realized.

he looked cute like that, embarrassed by something so natural that it even spurred on your arousal, the thought of him getting worked up over you doing virtually nothing. “i-it’s okay.. i can help you if you want.” you offer, moving your position to sit between his thighs.

violet hued eyes widened from your newfound boldness, the clearing of his throat being the only true source of sound he could make in that moment.

“nah, nah. it’s-“ before he could inch out the words, you were drawing featherlight circles at his tip over the fabric, causing his breath to hitch and resolve to falter.

choso wasn’t someone who’d allow himself to be in such a pathetic situation, yet the thought of you carrying out his perfect porn plot fantasy was all he needed for that internal morality to fly straight out the window.

you chuckled at the way he hiked himself up when you finally took him from his bottoms and into your hot, wet mouth. just the sight of his cock disappearing past soft, glossy pink lips has his temperature rising, feeling as though he could pass out.

it’s hazy for him — your hand at the base, the rhythmic bobbing of your head slowly while gradually picking up speed. he never would’ve thought the job he took on for extra cash to fund his college textbooks would end up with someone as gorgeous as you giving him a chance. every pump of your hand around what couldn’t fit into your mouth had him groaning, bucking his hips up as gently as he could without battering the back of your throat.

though, he wouldn’t mind if he did.

staving off a gag, you ultimately increased your pace, determined to get him off while your other hand fondled his plump balls.

from the faint touches alone, he could feel his high approaching, embarrassingly quicker than usual. yet, he couldn’t help it when you started to grow sloppy, a mix of spit and precum dribbling down his shaft.

“w-wait, fuck.. ‘m gonna.”

it took no time for him to shoot his seed into your awaiting throat, his head thrown back against the headrest while he bucked his hips to jettison every last drop. you swallowed all he had to offer before pulling away, watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

maybe he wasn’t as intimidating after all.

GETO — THE CHARMING TRAINER.

you were his favorite. you had to be. even in the long line of women waiting to have their own turn with him, you were always a top contender. he had always made time for you, and you alone.

geto’s popularity made perfect sense in your mind. he was tall, handsome with narrow features and dragon tattoos strung along both arms, a man ahead of his time. not to mention, his docile, gentle demeanor. he was charming as all get out and you were beyond aware of your superstar status of being the only one he wanted.

“are we actually going to get some training done or is there something else you want to do?” he straps his fingerless gloves around his palm, tank top tight around his torso, carving out each and every trace of his abs while looking over you, a pleasant smile quirked at his lips.

you felt sheepish under his sharp gaze, a feeling that comes all too natural with expert trainer, suguru geto. “i’m fine with whatever you have in mind, sugu.”

if you didn’t know any better, you’d swore you saw his cheeks dust in the lightest shade of pink at the endearing nickname. you were cute, too fucking cute and perhaps, that was the reason he kept you around.

“i’m thinking we test that stamina ‘nd see if you can hold up riding me?” he hooks his finger under your chin, tilting your head up just slightly. “no help, all on your own.” in all honesty, you could definitely take up his challenge. how hard could it be to take some dick?

or so you thought.

“fuck, sugu! ‘s too much!”

you wouldn’t want to be caught dead in the miserable state that you were in but it ultimately did seem as though geto’s lessons had gotten you nowhere. the tip of his cock wasn’t even an inch past your cunt while you rested your hands on his broad shoulders, pathetically trying to take what was the easiest part.

he smirked at you, resting his hands behind his head. “i’m not helping, princess. i meant it.”

you continued to try and sink yourself down onto his unreasonably thick cock, a soft crack of a whine tumbling past parted lips when your pussy engulfed another half inch of him. “but-“

“if i have to help you, we’re not finishing until you’re a mess.” he grits, not harsh enough to come off as daunting but stern enough to warn you. yet, the warning fell to deaf ears when you began to whorishly beg pleas of “help me, sugu. help me.”

from that, he let out a low groan, his hands on your waist sinking you all the way down to the base before he gained stability, flattening his feet onto the floor and fucking his cock into your fluttering cunt.

with the way he moves, you were almost positive you had the wind knocked out of you from those first few thrusts alone. soft babbles resonated throughout the room while you clung to his body like it’d comfort you in the hell that was his potent ministrations.

you felt far more sensitive than you ever felt, white hot pleasure coiling within you in no time, your pussy tightening around his shaft in such a suffocating way, geto felt as though he couldn’t breathe either. “s-so tight, princess. i know you wanna cum, cum for me, baby.” he goads through a strained voice, his thumb now working between your folds to find purchase at your clit, rubbing the puffy nub in moderate circles.

“if you do t-that, i might—“

and before you knew it, you were gushing around his pretty cock, face twisted in the prettiest picture of pleasure. the aftershocks of your orgasm were way more intense as you were fucked to overstimulation, a sly grin on his lips.

“told you we weren’t stopping, darling.”

[reignpage]

Help Me Step-Bro!

Content: dubcon, unprotected sex, exhibitionism, cunnilingus, anal

Step-Bro!Choso came with the new house and new husband. Your mother dated a pretty nice guys for about a year before jumping the gun and eloping. Now you have a whole new family: a new father and two new brothers. 

One of them is an adorable little boy, a little ray of sunshine who’s always eager to play and go on adventures. The other is a grungy emo a year older than you, with facial piercings, a tattoo running across his face, messy ponytails, and a sinful body. 

Step-Bro!Choso likes to walk around the house in just his boxers. Having come from an all-male household, he never felt the need to cover up. And though you’ve told him off so many times since you’ve all moved in together, three months ago, he never seems to remember. 

He leaves his room with ruffled hair and plaid pyjama trousers hanging dangerously low on his hips revealing a V-line leading to a place you’ve been trying really hard not to think about. And it’s so hard to when you’ve actually seen the damn thing, and good god, it’s huge -- he really needs to stop forgetting his towel when he comes out of the bathroom. 

“Sorry sis. I forgot again,” he gives you a sheepish shrug. “Bathroom’s free though!”

Step-Bro!Choso is touchy. He loves to cuddle. He does it with Yuji, with his dad, even your mother. Whether it’s just a side hug or one from the back, he does it with everyone, he even greets with his friends with hugs. But with you…

You swear it’s more than just an expression of familial affection. Your new brother doesn’t need to linger, his hands shouldn’t be gripping your hips, arms should not be circling your waist, pushing your tits up and bouncing them when he lifts you. And he really really shouldn’t be rubbing something hard against your ass. 

Step-Bro!Choso swears he can’t sleep when it’s thundering outside. He’s practically shaking when you open your door for him, and what kind of cruel monster would you be if you didn’t let him in? 

“It’s too loud. Can I stay with you for tonight, again?”

So, you lead him to your bed, letting him climb in behind you. His naked back warming your body, arms holding you tight against him whilst he buries his face into the crook of your neck. It’s his tears of fear that wet your skin and not the open-mouthed kisses he’s leaving there, nipping and sucking until your thighs are squeezing together. 

You feel his cold piercings against your skin -- the ones of his eyebrow, and oh no, the one on his tongue?

He pushes his own leg between yours, and his muscular thigh pressing right against your damp panties provides the perfect amount of friction for your throbbing clit. One of his hands creeps under your big shirt, cupping a tit there and letting the weight ground him. He doesn’t pinch your nipples like you’d like him to, just lets you ride his thigh for however long you need. 

Sleep finds both of you after your dull orgasm.

Step-Bro!Choso doesn’t correct people when they think you’re dating. You’d be shopping in a grocery store, his hand tucked inside your jean pocket, cupping your ass, letting you guide him through the aisles. When an elderly lady coos at you both, calling you a lovely pair, he does nothing but grin and bring you closer to press a kiss on your cheek. 

“Thank you! That’s so sweet.” 

He’ll have a smile on for the rest of the day. 

Step-Bro!Choso insists on teaching you how to swim. Tanning by the pool whilst he and Yuji play mermaids isn’t good enough, he says. So, you dip a toe in, testing the temperature, before completely submerging yourself. He comes up behind you, hands on your waist as he encourages you to trust him. 

“Come on! If I can teach Yuji, I can teach you,” he beams at you, his pinky finger tracing the hem of your bikini panties. “Plus, it’s an important skill to have, sis.”

Trusting him, you let his hands wander — he teaches you how to move your arms by guiding them, his hand presses on your stomach to ensure you know how to steady your breath, and he even holds your head down under water to so you know what your limits are. 

You try very hard to ignore that blush on his cheeks when you finally resurface, coughing and spluttering, and the way he's drawn to your heaving chest. Or the fact that his hands kneading your ass serves no educational function, nor does being topless. But he insists that it’s more 'hydrodynamic', that it helps to streamline you when there’s as minimal fabric as possible. 

“I swear, it’s true!” He says as he cups both of your tits under the water whilst your parents come out to the garden, flicking the tips and making the water ripple.

“What are you guys up to?” Your mother asks, more focused on reapplying sunscreen to Yuji’s face. 

Step-Bro!Choso is a good liar. He replies without missing a beat, “Just teaching my sis how to swim.”

Both of your parents seem very proud, likely pleased that everyone’s getting along. Little do they know, you’re getting along very well, if the hot length tucking itself inside your bikini bottom, rubbing along your cheeks, is anything to go by. 

Step-Bro!Choso is a medical expert. When you complain about a headache, instead of paracetamol and a glass of water, he gives you a hands-on service. He promises that it’s a natural and superior method of clearing one of ailments. And he’s older, so he knows more. Of course. As he’s listing off all the benefits, he’s lying you back on the sofa and pulling your shorts down, panties sliding down your legs. 

And then his mouth is on your pussy, licking and sucking all your juices like a man starved. He thrusts his tongue inside, curving it and allowing you to lose yourself to the pleasure, headache forgotten about. Your hands don’t know where to go but he guides them to his ponytails, humming in satisfaction when you don’t hesitate to pull him closer to your sloppy pussy. 

“God, I knew you'd taste as good as you look,” he mutters against your clit. 

There’s shuffling outside the front door and your eyes dart to the wiggling handle. Panicked, you’re trying to push his face away, hissing at him to let you go because your parents came home earlier than planned. 

Step-Bro!Choso only pins your thighs to the sofa with greater strength and dives into your cunt with increased fervour. He’s practically making out with your pussy, his eyes rolling back whilst he kneels on the floor, worshiping your body like he has no care in the world. 

“It’s okay, sissy. I locked the door and took their keys,” he whines into your clit, the vibrations wringing a silent moan from you, the metal ball on his tongue providing delicious friction. “Just cum before they find the spare key under the plant pot.”

And you do. 

Right as the door swings open, you’re being covered with a blanket, and your stepbrother is wiping his chin with his sleeve and offering to help his father with the heavy groceries, pressing a kiss right onto your mother’s cheek and never breaking eye contact with you. 

“Darling, why are you so flushed?” Your new father asks, his hand pressing against your forehead. 

Step-Bro!Choso yells from the kitchen, “Oh, she said she had a headache. But don’t worry, I took care of it!”

He sure did. And he continues to do every time you have a headache and even when you don’t. Sometimes, you’ll be in the kitchen, looking over the living room where your parents are watching TV, chopping vegetables across the kitchen island. He’ll come to offer his assistance and instead of sorting the boiling pot on the hob or setting the table, he, instead, drops to his knees again, pulls your shorts down, and stuff his face into your ass. 

You blame the wet noises of the pasta that is way past al dente by now when your mother asks what all the hubbub is. 

Step-Bro!Choso sits in the back of the car with you. Your parents are at the front, Yuji is in his car seat beside you, asleep, and your thigh is pressed against your older stepbrother’s ripped jeans. Whilst the two argue about the directions, he throws his jacket over your laps and leads your hand to his hard on. 

When you unzip his jeans and let his cock spring free, your eyes remain on your parents, scared they’ll see the odd placement of the jacket, the way you’re both blushing and biting your lips, and the fact that something is moving up and down, getting faster and faster underneath. 

“What do you guys want to eat?” His dad asks, pulling up to a fast-food chain. 

You reply, “Whatever’s good with me.”

And Step-Bro!Choso whispers in your ear, “My little sister’s pussy is the best taste in the world.”

Because of that, you have to drag his hand under his own jacket and into your panties, ensuring he wastes no time in curling them inside you to poke at the spongy spot that leaves you breathless and writhing. The heel of his palm rubs against your clit just as you thumb at his slit. You moan. 

“What was that?” Your mother asks. 

Step-Bro!Choso laughs. “I think she’s really hungry.”

“Well, you have to be patient because it’s going to take a while.”

He’s kneading your clit harder and faster, your chest rising and falling with every shallow breath, desperate to keep the noise down despite how good you’re feeling. But just as you’re about to cum, he slips his hand out and accepts the greasy bag of burgers and fries from his dad and digs in. 

Staring, aghast and all crazy, he ignores your glare and pops a fry into his mouth. He puts on a big show of sucking his fingers clean, his tongue getting deep between them. He groans, “I could eat this every day for the rest of my life!”

Step-Bro!Choso hates your guy friend. You’ve known him far longer than you’ve known your new brother and he’s always been welcome into your home. But for some reason, your usually sweet and kind stepbrother scowls and curses under his breath when he comes over. He even makes sure Yuji doesn’t interact with him, talking about 'stranger danger'.

You excuse yourself to go to the bathroom mid movie and when you enter, you’re being pushed deeper before the door closes and locks behind you. When you turn to look at your attacker, your vision is obscured by a face tattoo and glinting metal; he kisses you. It’s a messy kiss, all tongue and teeth, but so damn good. 

Spinning you around, he pins your front onto the cold ceramic sink, your leggings pulled all the way off and you find your parties being stuffed in your mouth. 

“Don’t like that guy, sissy,” he pouts into your ear, spreading your wetness all over your thighs, almost as if he’s reminding himself that it’s all for him. “Want you all to myself.”

After he wrangles an orgasm out of you with his fingers, your moans muffled by the flimsy fabric of your thong, he’s pushing inside your sopping cunt with his fat cock. The stretch is delectable, it makes your eyes roll to the back of your head, spine arching and ass thrusting back into him. 

"This pussy's all I've been thinking about, from the first time I met you," he confesses and it draws out your orgasm further.

Step-Bro!Choso pulls your hair into a makeshift ponytail, keeping you arched all pretty for him as he plunges again and again into your pussy, hitting that spot inside of you that makes you cream on his cock in relentless waves, until you’re creating a ring of white at the base. 

"So -ngh- tight! Fuck, sis! Don't clench down on me, gonna cum!"

He can’t keep his eyes off you; your pussy won’t let him go, it’s sucking him back in with every thrust, every ramming and lunging of his hips. And your asshole is fluttering, winking at him, and he just has to thumb at it, tracing the rim.

“Hph, Cho!” You cry out through your panties. 

“Sorry,” he keeps repeating. “It was calling for me!”

You’re fucking yourself back onto him, meeting every thrust, and loving the sting of your scalp as he pulls at your hair. And when he pushes that thumb in, you cum all over his cock. Juices flying, he can only whimper and whine when his orgasm soon follows, his cum painting your walls white and burning his imprints there, marking his territory. 

Whimpering in your ear, he mutters, "Fuck! So good, so fucking good!"

Step-Bro!Choso doesn’t let you catch your breath before he kisses you again, muttering something indiscernible into your mouth, rolling that tongue piercing between you. You break away with a string of saliva, glistening under the light. And then he pecks your lips once last time with a happy hum. 

“You’re such a good sister,” he smiles toothily. And then he’s kneeling between your legs to slurp up the cum dripping from your gaping pussy, cleaning you up before he lifts the leggings back into the place and sends you off into your merry way. 

When you return, the movie’s long finished and your friend is packing up to go. 

“Y’know, I think your brother brought over a girl. They were really loud.” He’s frowning as he steps out into the front porch. “She sounded like a real slut. You probably shouldn’t let her be around your family.”

Thankfully, he doesn’t notice your blush, or the wet spot between your legs. 

He’s probably right; the girl in the bathroom, and in the car, in the kitchen, the living room, and the pool was a real slut. But she doesn’t care, because her brother’s taking very good care of her. 

And when Step-Bro!Choso appears in your bedroom late at night, when your parents and little brother, are dead asleep, you don’t hesitate to spread your legs so he can dive his face between them, licking up the cum that’s still leaking from your pussy. 

Who cares about family when you’re going to make your own tonight and every night from now on?

Certainly not Step-Bro!Choso who’s proposing when you get on all fours, face planted in the pillows and hands spreading your cheeks open for him so he can fuck your ass too. 

Being a big brother fucking rules!

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。i know you still think about the times we had

synopsis. satoru will always comes when you call him, he just never thought you’d stop calling

— word count. 5.2k (where did i go wrong)

— contents. college au, rich boy! gojo, break ups and make ups <3, it’s the cliche trope where the rich guy’s parent forces you to leave him aka gojo’s father is the villain, angst with a happy ending—i don’t want my cause of death to be angry rb! gojo stans, emo gojo ft. marvin’s room (iykyk), cliche rain scene—this fic is so cliche i’m sorry, reader is gn! but gojo is mentioned to like pics of girls on instagram (he was being petty)

— notes. well, it finally happened. the long awaited break up. this one’s for you niku 🤞🏽 AND DABITEE ANON

you open the door when satoru knocks—just barely, though. it’s just enough to hand him the bag with the remaining things he’s left at your apartment. it feels familiar, being here, but it feels so different too. it’s always been happy knocking on your door—he never thought he’d dread letting his knuckles meet the cool wood. it’s like taking the last bite of something sweet when you’re too full. when the sugar is too decadent on your tongue and your head spins and your stomach twists and it’s too much even though it used to be so good.

it’s too much being here. it’s too much trying to meet your gaze and get nothing in return. it’s too much being handed back that sweater he basically let you keep. and yet, it’s good to see you. he wants nothing more than to be here with you, wherever you are, even if you don’t want him to stay.

“that should be everything,” you murmur, still looking down. “let me know if there’s anything missing.”

satoru would never tell you if there’s something missing. he’d never come back and demand back something he gave you, he doesn’t think he could ever take back something he gave you—being handed back his heart after pressing it to your palms is hard enough. but then again, maybe he should look for small things you probably missed. just so he can come back. just so he can see you—how else will he see you now?

“no, it’s alright,” he says quietly. he doesn’t miss the way you quickly let go as soon as his hands grab the bag, almost like you’re being careful enough not to let your fingers meet each other. “you can uh…you can just keep them. or…throw them out if you don’t want them,” he mumbles.

you nod, standing there silently. it’s quiet, and then it’s quiet some more. and finally, you look up at him for the first time since he got here, staring at him a little expectantly. oh, right. now would be the part where he leaves.

“can i…can i just know why?” he croaks. fuck. he’s not supposed to cry. you ripped his heart out and threw it at his feet, you didn’t even care to hand it to him even after you tore every artery apart. but he sniffles anyway, lips wobbling as he stares at you. “why are you leaving me?”

your fingers twitch, like you itch to reach over and wipe that tear that rolls down his cheek. in the end, you cross your arms instead. “i already told you, satoru—”

“that’s bullshit,” he clicks his teeth, shaking his head as he stares at you frustratedly, “you gave me some bullshit reason.”

satoru has worked so hard to be here—to be with you. hadn’t he done enough? hadn’t he told you about himself, things he didn’t want to? hadn’t he tried to become something, someone more than just a guy swimming in trust funds? hadn’t he worked for your attention, waited outside classes and walked opposite directions in the hall with you just to seem dedicated? fuck, he even burned his hand trying to learn how to make pancakes to impress you, let the maids laugh at him as he twisted the stove the wrong way to try and turn it on. 

why wasn’t it enough? what more could he give you than everything? how can the guy who has everything not have enough to give? he doesn’t understand.

“satoru, we weren’t gonna work,” you pinch your nose—it’s like you’re the one who doesn’t understand why he’s being like this. “the sooner you accept that the more hurt you’re saving the both of us—”

“we were working just fine,” he says exasperatedly. it’s like you insist he’s crazy when he’s nothing but sane. like he’s trying to tell you the sky is blue, and you’re refusing to believe it’s anything other than green. it’s clear. it’s practically a fact. you were doing just fine—why don’t you see that? “we were happy,” he takes a step forward and cups your cheeks, pressing his forehead to yours, “was it someone? did they tell you something? just tell me who, baby—i’ll fix it. i’ll put them in their place, okay? no one can bother you if i get them to leave you alone—”

“then you leave me alone,” you whisper. he stills. you pull away from his hands. “sator—gojo. please just leave me alone. it’s better that way.”

you close the door, and he stands there. numb. maybe a little shocked. entirely ruined.

gojo. he laughs quietly after a moment at that—it’s a laugh meant for men who’ve lost the last thread to sanity. gojo. it’s like a slap in the face, being called the name he worked so hard to get you to drop. it took him weeks—months, even, to convince you to call him satoru. then he upgraded to toru. then it was baby. sometimes you teased him and called him pumpkin—he called you peaches in return. when you introduced him, you called him your boyfriend. 

not anymore. now he’s back to gojo—that god-forsaken name with everything but what he really wants attached to it. his grandfather’s legacy. his future. business deals. fancy invites. more money than he knows what to do with. the name gojo comes with everything but you.

but he had you for a bit, didn’t he? when he was just satoru—but now he’s gojo again, and you’re gone. the only sign of you left is in the faint traces of your perfume in the sweaters you’ve returned. 

and satoru still isn’t sure what brought the break up on. he thinks it’s the part that stings the most—when everything seems perfect one second, and then it’s not. had he not tried enough? maybe he was too much. maybe he didn’t understand you the way you needed him to. maybe he was too overbearing. maybe he asked for too much too fast. 

he’s not sure. he tried asking when you broke it off—you only shook your head and said it wasn’t going to work out between the two of you, that it was a mistake to try at all. mistake? how could you call this a mistake? things were so perfect, weren’t they?

satoru doesn’t think there was even one second he wasn’t smiling when he was with you, and he used to think the same was true for you too. had you been faking it this long? or was it real at one point—had he really failed you so badly, seen past you so blindly that he didn’t notice when your smiles stopped reaching your eyes?

it’s too late, he figures. you and satoru are broken up. 

you ask him to come over one morning, and he does—because he always comes when you call. he brings your coffee order from that cafe you like, the one you don’t go to often because the coffee is more overpriced than any other coffee shop you’ve ever seen. he’s grinning when you open the door, leans in to kiss your lips excitedly. you turn your head then, and his lips meet your cheeks instead—he supposes he should’ve known it at that moment. he should’ve seen that your lips weren’t smiling. your eyes were tired, a little red. you were hugging yourself in that way you do when you’re nervous. you didn’t let him kiss your lips, you made him kiss your cheek. 

and then you sat him down on that worn-down couch of yours, took off that bracelet his mother gave him to gift you on your anniversary, and pressed it to his palm as you said we should break up. break up. you wanted to leave him—and satoru didn’t understand, still doesn’t understand. 

he’s tried for so long, replayed the last month of your relationship in his head over and over and fucking over. you always smiled. you kissed him first. you held his hand, and even squeezed. you asked to see him. you laughed when he was around. you said i love you. you were happy. but then you weren’t—when did you stop being happy? and how could you have stopped feeling it with him?

—————

breaking up with satoru is the hardest thing you’ve ever done. how long can people live without the sun? you think not longer than a few minutes—that’s what it feels like without satoru’s warmth, anyway. 

gojo satoru has always smiled as long as he’s been with you. he smiled smugly on your first meet, smiled bitterly after every rejection, smiled in pure glee when you finally said yes, and smiled like his fingertips could touch the sky every time he saw you after that. 

satoru has never looked sad for long in your presence—you have that effect on him, you make his lips curl and his eyes brighten in that way that they deserve to shine. but for the first time ever, his eyes dim with you around, his lips curl into a frown at your words, and he cries for you. his eyes glisten with tears instead of wonder, and you think for a moment that you might be making a mistake. 

but then you remember that this is for the best—that if you really love gojo satoru, you’ll let him go instead of clipping his wings.

“he’s picked up his things,” you speak quietly into the phone. you don’t sniffle even as you desperately need to—it’s the last bit of control you have left, and you intend to keep it. “i won’t be seeing him again.”

“good,” his father speaks, “that’s good to hear.” 

satoru’s father is a cold man, you learn that on the first meet. he doesn’t look at his wife with a soft look that tells you there’s any love built between the decades of marriage, and he doesn’t look at his only son with any affection for the boy he raised. instead, he stares at satoru like any businessman would an opportunity—with a calculating gaze that tries to work out the best course of action for the most profit. 

satoru is young, but he’s charming and conniving and knows how to get what he wants when he wants—he’s quick on his feet and rarely lets himself get cornered into a wall. in the last three generations of the family business, no heir has shown as much promise as gojo satoru. that’s what his father tells you, anyway. you believe him—satoru is smart and knows how to play his cards right, you won’t deny that. his future is set to be comfortable, and he’s never known anything outside of that, never built any other plans for himself. 

you can’t rip that away from him—not for your own sake, not for your own happiness. 

“you promised you wouldn’t freeze his trust funds once i ended things,” you remind him, “and that he’d keep his inheritance.” somehow, because the world grants you this one favor, your voice doesn’t shake—it’s steady and firm as it reminds the stone-cold man at the end of the line of your agreement—and he offers a slow chuckle that makes your jaw clench. 

“yes, i do recall,” he hums, “i’m glad we could come to agree. you understand, don’t you? it is my job as his father to do what’s best for him.”

you know what he’s saying—what that means. you’re not what’s best for him. maybe he’s right—maybe satoru needs someone who’s equally as promising to build a successful company into even more success. maybe he needs someone who can take him out for a change to those fancy places he takes you every few weeks. maybe he needs someone who’s heard of half the brands he wears and doesn’t scold him to turn the lights off so the electricity bill isn’t high. maybe he needs someone who can keep up with everything that gojo satoru is—and that someone is not you, no matter how deeply you love him. 

“—the offer still stands, should you change your mind. i’m willing to compensate you for the trouble this must all be.” 

your lips curl into a scowl at his words. that’s the thing about rich people, you think—money is always enough to sugarcoat everything. why worry about the dead grass in your lawn when you can paint it green? but you don’t leave satoru for extra cash on your hands—nothing can be worth auctioning off the only man who’s ever made you feel anything. you leave satoru because he deserves to continue living comfortably, to make a name for himself that isn’t just a ghost of his father’s. if that means being cut from the corner of the picture, you’re willing to pick up the scissors yourself. 

“no thanks,” you hiss, “i don’t need the money.”

“i would disagree,” his father sneers, “but suit yourself.”

the line ends, and for good this time, satoru is no longer yours. was he ever to begin with? 

—————

you try to forget your ex-boyfriend—keyword, try. every hour of your life consists of you using your burner account to refresh his instagram page to see if he’s posted anything new. you unfollow satoru from every social media platform the same day he picks up his belongings—you know he’s noticed within the first thirty minutes because all of his pictures with you are gone, just like all your pictures with him. 

in what you assume is an attempt to be petty, he likes every picture of every girl he sees, and he even blocks you on twitter—you know he picks twitter because twitter is the only social media that blatantly states you’re blocked. but then you’re unblocked in two days, and you know he must be missing you now that the initial anger is faded. 

it makes you laugh a little, even through your tears. satoru is not satoru without petty fits of emotion, and you can’t bring yourself to be mad, not when it’s your fault he’s hurting like this. he’s extra sad today, you gather—if the way marvin’s room is posted to his instagram story on a blank screen is of any hint. it makes you scoff in amusement that in true gojo satoru fashion, he’s effectively told all eight-thousand-something of his followers he’s pathetically in his feelings. 

you scroll through suguru’s story, too—he didn’t unfollow you even after satoru temporarily blocked you, but you figure suguru is the only person satoru really has. you shouldn’t keep yourself close to him, not when it could hurt satoru more, so you remove him too. 

suguru is, as always, drinking at some fancy party with obnoxiously rich college students who have not a care in the world for midterms around the corner. who needs to pass when you’re swimming in money whether or not you have a degree? the first thing you learn about the rich is that most of them are only at college for the experience—they don’t see college as the stepping stone to better opportunities, there’s nothing education could offer that trust funds already don’t. but satoru attends college for himself—he enjoys business classes, you learn, and especially finance ones. for someone who spends money so carelessly, he understands it particularly well. 

there’s no sign of satoru at whatever party it is suguru is at, there’s no trace of strikingly bright white strands anywhere in any corners—you do see naoya in a corner, though, and you crinkle your nose in distaste. if satoru were here, he’d say something bitterly under his breath about the asshole, and you would giggle. but satoru is not here, and even naoya the women-hating jackass makes you miss your obnoxiously whiny ex-boyfriend. 

everything reminds you of satoru. that bear he won you at the fair (after maybe six tries) by your pillows, those polaroids at your desk that you can’t bring yourself to take down, that sticky note on your fridge he left promising to replace the creamer he finished (he’s replaced it more times than he’s needed to by now), that extra big blanket you keep on the couch because the old one barely covered his legs, that pair of silly matching mugs you both had for coffee in the mornings. 

every corner of your apartment has something that reminds you that satoru was here, that he was yours, that for a short while, he was the best thing you ever had. it’s your fault, you think—that satoru and you are here in this mess in the first place. he’s always looked at life through a hopeful lens. having everything does that to you, makes you ignorant to the misfortunes of the world, makes you think everything is within the realm of your reach. you, on the other hand, knew this was bound to happen. the two of you together is like hot oil and cool water—what feels like sparks is just the oil shooting out to burn you. you should’ve known this would have never lasted. 

in a way, you think you did. it’s why you hated him so fiercely at first—maybe deep down, you always knew you wanted him, that he would never be yours. maybe that’s why you were so adamant about rejecting him, that even when he was clearly trying, it would never be enough. satoru has always been enough, has always been what everyone has wanted—you’re not so sure you can say the same for yourself. 

you love gojo satoru. he loves you too—he falls first, and you think maybe, he might have fallen harder too. no one loves like satoru. they say if you press coal hard enough, it turns to diamonds—you think if you gave satoru coal, he would hand you back the sun and all of her stars. it’s just the kind of guy he is, the one that turns everything dull into something bright and warm and worth it. you wish you didn’t have to break his heart, you wish you could’ve walked out of this the only one hurt. but maybe, at the very least, if you break him good enough that he hates you, he’ll move on quicker, maybe have something to look forward to while you continue to work your way up and cheer him on. 

before you can refresh suguru’s page one more time to stalk his story, you’re pulled from your thoughts as someone knocks on your door—correction: pounds on your door. you jolt on your couch, standing up and making your way to the front door quickly and looking through the peephole. 

satoru. of course.

he’s soaked to the bone—it’s raining outside, and of course, just as on brand as always, he must’ve rushed here without an umbrella.

you shouldn’t open it.

but you can’t just leave him in the rain, can you? but he’s not your problem anymore, you agreed to leave him, didn’t you? but how could he not be your problem when he’s all you think about? but this could cause him trouble if his father found out he was here, right? but can you really leave someone, ex-boyfriend or not, in the pouring rain? you can’t be that cruel can you?

before you can make up your mind, he speaks up, “i know you’re standing there. open the door,” he demands. 

“satoru, go home,” you sigh, head pressing against the surface that separates you, “don’t make this anymore difficult than it has to be.”

“if it’s difficult, that means you don’t really want to do this,” he argues. he’s still as good as ever at sweet talk, still as persistent and charming as ever at getting what he wants. “please,” he croaks, “just let me in.”

you know it means more than one thing. you know it means more than just your home. but you shouldn’t, you can’t let him know why you did all this—how can you protect someone from something if they don’t let you? satoru would never let you if he knew, and that’s why you can’t let him know. 

“satoru, if you don’t leave…i’ll…i’ll call the cops,” you warn. 

“no you won’t,” he says instantly. “i’m not leaving until you open the door. and if i get sick, i’ll send you my bill for the emergency room visit.”

“you’re not going to the emergency room for a common cold, you idiot,” you scoff. 

the rain doesn’t slow—in fact, you can hear thunder. satoru is still stubbornly outside, knocking away. 

“i’ll start screaming,” he insists, “your neighbors will complain for noise again. do you want to be kicked out of this apartment? just let your cold, wet, heartbroken ex-boyfriend in if you have a heart.”

and because you are, and always will be, weak to the charms of gojo satoru, you open that damned door—even though you shouldn’t, even though you can’t, even though you said you would never again. but you do. because it’s satoru, and he always comes when you call, and you’ll always let him in when he’s here. 

“you don’t come to your ex’s house less than one week after the break up,” you sigh once you open the door. he takes a step in, shutting the door behind him. 

“why did you leave me?” he asks. 

“satoru, you can’t keep bringing this up—”

“why? just tell me why.”

“i don’t have to—”

“tell me why and i’ll stop bothering you. i just need to know why,” he insists. 

and then you break.

you’re only human. you’ve lost the man you’ve given everything to for over a year in the span of one week. you’ll never see his lovely mother again who spoiled you rotten, you’ll never hang out out with his funny best friend who treats you like family, and you’ll never be enough for gojo satoru, the rich, loud, sheltered, obnoxious, handsome jackass you met and had to do a project with and accidentally fucked over and over again until you fell in love. 

so you shove his chest, once, then twice, then a third time, each time getting weaker and weaker than the last as tears slip down your cheeks as you simply break down. “just leave, satoru,” you sob, “why can’t you just leave? why do you keep coming back?”

you hate seeing him here. you want him gone. you never want to see him again. you hope he never leaves. you’re glad to see him. you hope this isn’t the last time. you hate that he seems to not be getting enough sleep. his eyes are hollow. he must not be eating properly. he probably hasn’t attended class. he has a quiz next week. he most likely forgot about that. his clothes are wrinkly. he definitely hasn’t showered in days. 

“last month you said i was it for you,” he glares at you, his eyes red and swollen and every shade of heartbreak. you miss when they were blue—that beautiful, bright, perfect shade of blue. “last week you said we were a mistake. what the fuck do you mean, huh? what are you playing at?”

“you can realize a lot in a month—”

“not enough to erase over a year,” his voice booms. it makes you flinch and hug yourself tightly. tears slide down your cheeks, your vision is blurry. this might be the last time you see satoru, and even if he’s angry, you want to remember the curves of his features. so you wipe them away. they keep coming back. “so tell me,” he clenches his jaw, “did you string me along for a year or did something happen last week that you’re not telling me?”

“i realized you were bad for me,” you say quietly. 

satoru stares at you. it’s a piercing gaze—his eyes are electrically blue and his lashes are unfairly long and every time he stares at you, you think he almost sees into your soul. they’re tired—there are purplish bags under them on that pale skin of his, and the whites of his eyes are concerningly bloodshot. he stares, and stares, and for a second, you think you’ll die like this. watching him stare at you as your heart bleeds out. 

“i spent weeks,” his voice shakes, “i waited outside your class. i followed you to the next one. i memorized your fucking schedule.”

“satoru, you need to leave—”

“and then you fucked me and left every morning like i was nothing,” he glares, sniffling. you don’t know where the rain drops on his face start and where the teardrops end. “and then i begged you for a chance—begged. i burned my hand, got laughed at by the maids to learn how to make those stupid fucking pancakes for you.”

“i didn’t ask you to—”

“it took you two months to call me baby for the first time. did you know that? i waited two months to hear that. i thought it was the best two months i ever waited.”

“satoru,” you plead. 

you’ve given up on trying to wipe away the tears—he’s given up on crying altogether. you’ve never seen him so hollow, so dead in the eyes and so, so tired.

satoru has never gotten tired—not when he’s fighting for you.

“and then you kept pushing me away, acting like i was some shallow guy who wanted to get in your pants and leave cause i had some money to my name. i took you everywhere, introduced you proudly, let everyone say what they wanted to say about me because i loved you, and…and i thought you loved me too,” he shakes his head. 

his voice breaks, and god, so does your heart right along with it.

“i do love you,” you admit it before you realize what you’re saying. 

“then why did you fucking leave me?” his voice is loud.

satoru never yells, not at you. his voice is always gentle, patient, like he worships the ground you walk on, like he’ll get on his knees if you ask him too. satoru never yells—but he does tonight. 

“because i had to,” you sob, fingers digging into your temples as you shake. the words spill from your lips faster than the tears, like a swarm of angry bees, one following after the other. “or you’d lose everything. the trust funds, the inheritance, the company. i couldn’t let that happen to you—not for me,” you whisper. 

it feels like defeat—in the end, you couldn’t keep satoru, and you couldn’t leave him either. you couldn’t love him like you wanted, and you couldn’t let him go like you should have. what else is there left to fuck up? what more can you ruin in less than a week? the bees feel like maggots in your mouth, swarming a dead carcass.  

“so you left me because my old man threatened you with my trust funds?” he asks in disbelief. you think something in satoru dies at that—something in his shoulders falls and his eyes almost seem gray. 

satoru gets his blue eyes from his mother—they’re bright and kind and deeper than the ocean. but unlike the ocean, they’re not scary to fall into, to lose yourself in no matter how far you are from shore. his father’s eyes are gray—cold and blank and not laced with a single hint of emotion. 

you can’t help but think that blue suits satoru so much better than gray ever could. 

“it wasn’t just that,” you shake your head, “that’s not fair, satoru. what was i supposed to do? know you were about to lose everything and stay?”

“you could have talked to me before you decided for me,” he hisses, “what do you want me to say? thank you? thank you for breaking my heart? thank you for making me feel like a worthless piece of shit who wasted a year for someone who didn’t seem to care? thank you for walking out on me?”

“you know i’d have stayed if i could,” you argue, voice breaking.

“then why didn’t you? why the fuck didn’t you?”

“because i couldn’t!”

“you could!” he screams—you realize, for the first time in your life, you hate when satoru screams. he never screams. “all my life, that old man has been making decisions for me. satoru, wear this. satoru, go here. satoru, don’t do that. satoru, put that away. satoru, stay away from them. satoru, come with me. that’s all he’s ever fucking done—make every choice for me. and now…now you’re just like him,” he breathes, lips wobbling as he stares at you with hurt. 

it’s like that for a bit—you stare at him as he crumbles, and he stares at you like he doesn't know you anymore. you don’t know who leans in first, if it’s your hand or his face, but one second you’re feet apart, and the next second his face is cradled in your hands, thumbs swiping away at his tears. you catch them, one by one, waiting to wipe them away no matter how fast they come. because satoru always comes when you call, and you’ll always be there for him to find you. 

“i don’t want to leave,” you mumble, “i never do. you are it for me, i meant that, you know. who else will melt extra chocolate in my hot chocolate?”

“then don’t leave,” he begs, voice cracking, “i don’t want you to. i’ll handle that old geezer—my grandfather will knock some sense into him. fuck, suguru and i can even hide his body, it’s fine. just don’t leave, okay?”

you let out a watery chuckle, pinching his cheek as you shake your head. “i don’t know if i’m worth homicide, satoru.”

“i think you’re wrong,” he huffs, “you’re wrong about a lot of things, you know. so wrong.”

“i never said i was perfect,” you pout.

he buries his head into your neck, clinging to you tightly—you cling back, because nothing is as safe as satoru’s arms. you’d melt into his skin if you could, live in that spot right where his heart is so you can make sure it’s always beating. 

“you’re still perfect,” he mumbles, “but you’re always mean to me. this was the worst you’ve ever been.”

“i’m sorry,” you murmur, slipping your fingers into his hair—it’s still wet, you realize. he’s soaked, and he could catch a cold but you don’t care. satoru is back. he’s here in your run-down apartment with the mugs and the blanket and that toothbrush you forgot to return and that pair of socks you found in your drawer. satoru is finally home. “i’ll never leave you again.”

“promise?”

“yeah. as long as you don’t block me on twitter again.”

“you deserved that.”

“and for the love of god, toru, delete that marvin’s room story. that was so dumb.”

“are you stalking me?” he pulls away with a grin, making you glare with a huff. he chuckles, kisses your forehead as he murmurs, “missed me that bad, huh? yeah, i would too.”

“well, obviously not enough to post marvin’s room on my story.”

“you can’t be mean to me after you broke my heart!” he whines.

yeah, you think, satoru is home. he’s still that loud, obnoxious, pestering brat that he always was—and he’s still the only love you’ve ever known. 

“i love you,” you press your forehead to his, kissing him slowly. you want to kiss him harder, you want to kiss him desperately like you’ll never kiss him again. like you lost him and miraculously got him back. like you’ll never see the sun again without him. 

but there’s time for that—lots of it, in fact. because satoru is home.

“i love you too,” he whispers, “wanna shower with me? if you really love me, you would.”

read the makeup sex sequel ;) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

if this fic was a person i would want it dead.